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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,380 --> 00:00:24,460 Hello and welcome to a Top Gear special. 2 00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:30,180 That is Resolute, the most northerly town in Canada, in the Arctic Circle. 3 00:00:30,220 --> 00:00:31,860 We're here to have a race. 4 00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:38,020 400 miles over mostly frozen ocean in that direction to the North Pole. 5 00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:42,780 I shall be travelling using husky dogs, sledge and skis. 6 00:00:42,820 --> 00:00:46,220 I'm gonna try and beat him in a car. 7 00:00:46,260 --> 00:00:48,940 That's never been done before. 8 00:00:48,980 --> 00:00:52,580 No-one has ever tried to drive to the North Pole. 9 00:00:56,420 --> 00:00:58,220 Here's why. 10 00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:02,860 On the way, he would encounter ice boulders as big as cathedrals. 11 00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:07,860 Polar bears the size of hatchbacks, temperatures that would freeze the fuel in his tank, 12 00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:09,780 and, if Al Gore is to be believed, 13 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:12,780 open water into which he would sink. 14 00:01:12,820 --> 00:01:15,420 Victory, then, would be mine. 15 00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:19,820 Time to meet my team. 16 00:01:25,220 --> 00:01:28,700 The engines powering me to the Pole would be ten husky dogs. 17 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:31,980 Where the car would crash through the thin ice, 18 00:01:32,020 --> 00:01:34,180 they'd be fine. 19 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:41,060 Driving them would be Matty McNair, one of the world's leading sled dog explorers and racers. 20 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:44,180 The dogs have been living here for 4,000 years. 21 00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:47,740 They can go through anything - cold, blizzard. 22 00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:51,700 I have a lead dog that can go through hard packed ice. 23 00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:53,300 He figures out a good route. 24 00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:58,420 So that's terrain, weather - they're made for it. 25 00:01:58,460 --> 00:02:01,580 I've just been weed on! 26 00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:03,580 Did they have to wee on me?! 27 00:02:03,620 --> 00:02:04,860 They're fast! 28 00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:15,740 To beat the human lamppost, I would be using, a Toyota pickup truck. 29 00:02:15,780 --> 00:02:18,860 It's a tough old bird this 30 00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:22,420 but for the trip to the Pole, it had been sent to Iceland, 31 00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:24,340 for a few modifications. 32 00:02:24,380 --> 00:02:28,580 The biggest change, apart from the gun, obviously, 33 00:02:28,620 --> 00:02:31,660 are the enormous wheels - Cuban wheels, I like to call them. 34 00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:33,420 They give it extra height. 35 00:02:33,460 --> 00:02:38,500 The tyres are hand-made - cost �2,500 each. 36 00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:43,260 They are so vast that the front suspension has been moved forwards 37 00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:45,980 otherwise you wouldn't be able to open the door. 38 00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:50,500 Other changes - it's got heavy-duty diffs, heavy-duty suspension, 39 00:02:50,540 --> 00:02:56,260 it's got a sump guard about that thick in case we hit a pretty much solid piece of ice. 40 00:02:56,300 --> 00:03:02,300 At the front, I insisted it was fitted with these spotlamps, 41 00:03:02,340 --> 00:03:07,940 although that might have been unnecessary, since it's currently 11.30pm 42 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:10,260 and this is as dark as it ever gets. 43 00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:18,140 Inside, there was marine satellite navigation 44 00:03:18,180 --> 00:03:25,220 and underneath, a long-range fuel tank filled with a freeze-resistant mixture of diesel and avgas. 45 00:03:26,780 --> 00:03:30,380 All I need to complete the picture is a guide and a navigator. 46 00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:35,580 Richard Hammond has been given Matty McNair, one of the world's leading Arctic experts. 47 00:03:35,620 --> 00:03:39,700 Me. I've been given him. 48 00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:50,700 Can I make it clear now that I'm only here because the producer said I had to be. I don't like snow. 49 00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:53,540 I hate being cold. I hate outdoor pursuits. 50 00:03:53,580 --> 00:03:56,740 I hate the idea that I've got to "push my body to find the limit." 51 00:03:56,780 --> 00:04:02,340 I can't stand this stupid clothing that makes this rustling noise. 52 00:04:02,380 --> 00:04:06,460 I hate the zips and the toggles and all the pockets and that. 53 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:09,740 And I hate your stupid truck. Listen, if we make it, 54 00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:17,460 you will be the first person to go to the North Pole who DIDN'T want to be there. 55 00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:21,700 DOGS BARK 56 00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:25,780 We have the right tools for the job, which just left us. 57 00:04:25,820 --> 00:04:29,700 We're not what you'd call polar explorers. 58 00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:38,380 So earlier in the year, we'd been sent to a cold-weather training camp in the Austrian Alps. 59 00:04:41,980 --> 00:04:47,340 We were put in the hands of some Arctic experts who showed us what salami was and 60 00:04:47,380 --> 00:04:48,780 how to put an anorak on. 61 00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:52,060 To be honest, our minds kept wandering. 62 00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:57,540 There WAS a man who ate a car once. Was it that bloke who hate everything? 63 00:04:57,580 --> 00:05:02,180 Then, a doctor snapped us to attention. 64 00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:06,940 Your foreskin has been frostbitten. Right. 65 00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:09,340 Shall we go straight to the frozen penis? 66 00:05:09,380 --> 00:05:10,540 ALL: Aarrghh! 67 00:05:10,580 --> 00:05:16,420 He'd been walking with it hanging out of his trousers.With your willy hanging out?Why? 68 00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:22,620 It comes down to organisation.Good job he didn't do it on the London Underground. He'd be arrested. 69 00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:24,620 On public transport with it out... 70 00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:29,620 The doctor moved on to how we'd do our number twos. 71 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:31,900 You've got to be quick. 72 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:37,900 We've nearly missed entire programmes...Sometimes, Top Gear is delayed by an hour. 73 00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:41,740 I get the runs, especially if I go abroad, which the North Pole is. 74 00:05:41,780 --> 00:05:45,540 Doctors say better out than in. That's not true of your penis in minus 50. 75 00:05:45,580 --> 00:05:48,140 Essentials for the Arctic crap. 76 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:55,220 Take your bog roll and your gun with you.Take your gun with you?To the loo?Absolutely 77 00:05:55,260 --> 00:05:59,060 Bears love to creep up on you when you're taking a crap. 78 00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:01,340 That's not sporting of them. 79 00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:08,060 The next day, it was time for outdoor training. To be honest, it was freezing 80 00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:11,140 so we went for a coffee instead. 81 00:06:11,180 --> 00:06:13,500 If it's like this when we get to the Pole... 82 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,620 We should cross that bridge when we get to it. 83 00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:18,700 How can you practise being cold? 84 00:06:18,740 --> 00:06:22,460 Snow is snow. There's no point going out there catching our death. 85 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:24,820 You wouldn't be able to go - you'd have a cold. 86 00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:30,020 Eventually, though, the weather cleared, 87 00:06:30,060 --> 00:06:33,860 and I gave May and Hammond their first ever skiing lesson. 88 00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:35,900 I can't go because of the wind... 89 00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:41,020 Richard, in particular, would spend a lot of time skiing beside his dogs. 90 00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:42,900 Aarghh! 91 00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:47,380 Keep them so that the tips are like that...Aargh! Don't worry about him. 92 00:06:47,420 --> 00:06:51,220 You need to go more downhill or level your skis out. 93 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:54,860 If I go more downhill, I'll slip! James wasn't much better. 94 00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:58,180 Just put them on. I'm coming down here otherwise I'll fall over. 95 00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:00,100 It's the same here as it is there. 96 00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:03,900 Push off and kick this arse out of the skis with your heel. 97 00:07:03,940 --> 00:07:07,820 Don't cross them.Aarghh! Thanks a bunch! 98 00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:12,940 It's taken me 20 minutes to get there!We can go together.I've got only one ski on. 99 00:07:12,980 --> 00:07:16,340 Progress was painfully slow. 100 00:07:16,380 --> 00:07:18,580 It's not on. 101 00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:22,100 Aarrghh! 102 00:07:22,820 --> 00:07:24,940 Oh, God! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! 103 00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:29,140 Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! 104 00:07:29,180 --> 00:07:31,180 Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! 105 00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:33,020 Sorry! 106 00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:35,580 Right. 107 00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:38,700 We've done... See where we've come from? 108 00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:40,780 Yeah. 109 00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:44,980 30, 40 yards and you've got 400 miles to ski.Jeremy... 110 00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:48,100 We were then taught how to erect a tent. 111 00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:53,820 Our instructor was a former special forces soldier who arrived with a pixelated face. 112 00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:55,500 He was very bossy. 113 00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:59,140 We can do it now or four o'clock in the morning. 114 00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:03,020 The only good thing is it can't possibly be colder in the Arctic. 115 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:12,580 You have to push it. You've got it stuck in here. You have to get out... 116 00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:15,780 I didn't break it. Who broke the elastic then? 117 00:08:15,820 --> 00:08:19,740 The man with the funny face was getting more and more irritated. 118 00:08:19,780 --> 00:08:23,740 I've just had a brilliant idea. Why don't we just tow a caravan? 119 00:08:23,780 --> 00:08:25,660 James, feed it through. 120 00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:28,300 Put your foot on that. 121 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:30,740 Put your foot on there. 122 00:08:30,780 --> 00:08:33,140 If this blows away, it's game over. 123 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,620 There's no, "We'll just get another tent." 124 00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:38,700 It's a case of this tent is it. 125 00:08:38,740 --> 00:08:40,180 Go on, catch it. 126 00:08:43,780 --> 00:08:45,460 You haven't got that end put in. 127 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:47,140 These are packed with ice. 128 00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:53,500 HE LAUGHS 129 00:08:53,540 --> 00:08:57,020 Take it back to where we're putting the tent up. 130 00:08:57,060 --> 00:09:00,100 Finally, quite a bit later, the tent was up. 131 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:03,860 It's...I think you can sleep in it. 132 00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:07,700 WIND HOWLS 133 00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:10,500 Sadly, our ordeal was not yet over. 134 00:09:10,540 --> 00:09:13,780 The man with the ruined face was going to show us how it would feel 135 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,660 to fall through the polar ice. 136 00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:20,700 In your own time, I want all three of you to jump in. 137 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,020 What's the problem?Hang on. 138 00:09:25,060 --> 00:09:29,220 At the Pole, we'd all three be standing with safety harnesses on... 139 00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:32,300 It's a silly test. I'm not doing it. 140 00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:37,260 The point of this is that you have to be able to take your clothes off and put more clothes on again. 141 00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:39,420 I can practise that in the hotel room. 142 00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:43,060 You've got a tingling down your arm... 143 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:52,340 Pull yourself out. Come on, put some effort in! 144 00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:55,820 You don't want to stay in there all day. Drop the pole. 145 00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:58,420 How dare you... Hands above your head! 146 00:09:58,460 --> 00:10:00,300 Hands above your head! 147 00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:02,420 OK, roll in the snow, roll in the snow. 148 00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,900 Roll in the snow! Roll in the snow, Jeremy. 149 00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:08,860 That'll make it much better, rather than a big, pink, fluffy towel. 150 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,580 That looked awful.I'm staggered. 151 00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:13,740 Do you know what, though? 152 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,340 I like to think of us as a unit on Top Gear, 153 00:10:16,380 --> 00:10:18,820 and as a unit, we've done that test. 154 00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:21,980 'Our instructors were not impressed with that theory, 155 00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:24,700 'and decided we needed our heads banging together. 156 00:10:24,740 --> 00:10:29,060 'So they drafted in the legendary Arctic explorer, Sir Ranulph Fiennes.' 157 00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,860 The problem we have 158 00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:34,340 is that we can't really get into our heads 159 00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:37,300 that this is a particularly dangerous place to go. 160 00:10:37,340 --> 00:10:40,300 But you think it is. 161 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:44,060 I don't think it is, I know that it can be 162 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:48,740 because of what's happened to me in that area over the last 36 years. 163 00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:51,540 You will have the polar bear problem, 164 00:10:51,580 --> 00:10:53,900 you will have the ignorance problem, 165 00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:56,140 cos you lot are apparently ignorant, 166 00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:58,380 and thirdly, 167 00:10:58,420 --> 00:11:01,300 the fact that you will all start hating each other 168 00:11:01,340 --> 00:11:04,820 because of the extreme cold having an effect... 169 00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:07,300 The hatred is very real. 170 00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:09,580 You don't want to laugh about it. 171 00:11:09,620 --> 00:11:11,740 'Then we moved on to frostbite. 172 00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:14,060 'He showed us what had happened to his hand 173 00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:17,860 'after it had been immersed in polar water for just a few moments. 174 00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:21,780 Have a look at that - that's my left hand. 175 00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:23,340 So, eventually, 176 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:27,500 all those red areas were amputated. 177 00:11:27,540 --> 00:11:30,140 That is... If you look at the proper hand there, 178 00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:33,060 you can see how much is missing and froze off. 179 00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:34,980 That was a three-minute mistake. 180 00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:39,140 If we were in the car, say, went through a hole into the ice 181 00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:41,900 and you fell in the water at that temperature, 182 00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:43,660 what are the chances of survival? 183 00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:45,500 If your whole body fell in 184 00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:48,180 and the car had gone in and your tent had gone in, 185 00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,740 cos you presumably stow that in the car, 186 00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:54,940 you could probably survive for, if there was no wind, hours. 187 00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:57,420 But I'd prefer in those circumstances 188 00:11:57,460 --> 00:11:59,740 to go quickly rather than slowly, really. 189 00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:04,340 Back in Resolute, I was glad I'd had the talk from Ranulph, 190 00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:08,700 but not so glad that I'd had a skiing lesson from Clarkson. 191 00:12:08,740 --> 00:12:11,020 What?You're not very good. 192 00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:13,980 Because you taught me the wrong kind of skiing! 193 00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:18,100 You may as well have taught me to play the banjo! 194 00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:22,100 DOGS BARK 'And as zero hour approached, 195 00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:25,420 'I was also struggling to bond with the dogs.' 196 00:12:25,460 --> 00:12:28,220 Ah, there's a pile of poo there! 197 00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:38,180 Mind you, Clarkson wasn't doing much better with his snow driving. 198 00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:44,300 Er... 199 00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:47,180 'And James was rubbish with a shotgun.' 200 00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:48,740 Woah! 201 00:12:48,780 --> 00:12:55,180 And then, to make matters worse, we met the local weatherman. 202 00:12:55,220 --> 00:13:00,540 My colleague here is convinced we're going to fall through the ice. 203 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,220 Have you seen on the map...? 204 00:13:02,260 --> 00:13:05,580 You're going to this island.OK. 205 00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:08,780 Now, that's all frozen to a depth of nine feet. 206 00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:11,420 Not all of it is frozen. There you go! 207 00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:13,260 The problem is, 208 00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:16,300 we know only so much about that region, 209 00:13:16,340 --> 00:13:20,500 and you are exploring that region at an incredible speed. 210 00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:22,020 How safe is it up there? 211 00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:23,660 With a car it's a total unknown. 212 00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:26,300 There's all kinds of dangers waiting for you, 213 00:13:26,340 --> 00:13:30,300 and you don't see that the ice is just a few centimetres thick. 214 00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:32,900 It wouldn't look any different from the top.Yes. 215 00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:34,820 That's what gets most people. 216 00:13:34,860 --> 00:13:36,620 I just wanted Richard to see it. 217 00:13:36,660 --> 00:13:41,460 This was a man who attempted to go to the North Pole on a sledge. 218 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:45,900 People go to the Pole all the time on sledges, don't they? 219 00:13:45,940 --> 00:13:48,900 And he's being eaten. He's giving him a cuddle. 220 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:55,980 Zero hour, and even though our talent was small 221 00:13:56,020 --> 00:13:59,900 and the dangers ahead were plainly immense, 222 00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,900 we were looking forward to the off. 223 00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:03,540 Well, two of us were. 224 00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:07,380 Look at that awful expanse of misery.Are you cold? 225 00:14:07,420 --> 00:14:09,780 No.Are we falling through the ice?Not yet. 226 00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:12,700 Well, cheer up.How far have we gone?We haven't set off. 227 00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:13,740 Quite. 228 00:14:13,780 --> 00:14:15,180 WHIP CRACKS 229 00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:17,020 DOGS BARK 230 00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:19,940 Who do you think's gonna win? We're all gonna die. 231 00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:27,940 GUNSHOT 232 00:14:32,260 --> 00:14:35,220 Let's go to the Pole.Go! 233 00:14:35,260 --> 00:14:37,460 I can't believe it. 234 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:40,580 I'm going to the Pole with a dog team. 235 00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:42,860 HE LAUGHS 236 00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:44,860 Hang on, stop.What? 237 00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:47,020 Stop. 238 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:50,660 Oh, and they're stuck. They're stuck. 239 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:53,540 Forgot the gloves. 240 00:14:53,580 --> 00:14:55,220 Give me strength. 241 00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:58,460 I knew he was gonna be bad on this trip. 242 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,580 I didn't know he'd be THIS bad. 243 00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:02,780 Hurry up! 244 00:15:10,780 --> 00:15:13,220 Don't go in now. Here we go. 245 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,820 CAR HORN HONKS Yeah! 246 00:15:15,860 --> 00:15:18,380 JEREMY LAUGHS 247 00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:20,340 You're such a pikey. 248 00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:25,380 Gently. 249 00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:28,260 No gently. 250 00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:32,300 There's no time for gently now cos you forgot your gloves. 251 00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:34,300 HONKS HORN 252 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:44,860 So here we are going further north than any car had been before. 253 00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:50,940 Riding on a thin crust of ice over an ocean 1,500 feet deep. 254 00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:01,420 Just us - a film crew, two Icelandic mechanics and a soldier. 255 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:05,020 An insignificant nine-man blot 256 00:16:05,060 --> 00:16:08,740 in the pristine white vastness. 257 00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:26,580 How far have we gone? Three kilometres.Three?Yes. 258 00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:30,940 And it's taken us three minutes? See, James, 259 00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:32,860 I said we'd be there in no time. 260 00:16:38,620 --> 00:16:41,060 This won't last, this sunny sky, 261 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,660 smooth snow. 262 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,980 Yes, it will.It won't. It will.It won't. 263 00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:47,580 Ow! 264 00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:49,420 But it did last. 265 00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:52,380 The sky stayed blue, the ice stayed smooth 266 00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:55,020 and we opened up a huge lead over Team Dog. 267 00:16:58,380 --> 00:17:01,740 It's the third time, I've told Matty... 268 00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:04,660 This is only the third time I've had skis on my feet. 269 00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,700 It's really hard. 270 00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:11,020 I know lots of people ski these days but I grew up on Birmingham. 271 00:17:11,060 --> 00:17:14,940 The car had disappeared into the distance, 272 00:17:14,980 --> 00:17:16,460 but Matty told me the hare 273 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:20,340 would be unstuck by ice that was too thick or drowned 274 00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:21,980 by ice that was too thin 275 00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:26,780 and that the tortoise would then take the lead. I wasn't so sure. 276 00:17:26,820 --> 00:17:27,820 Oh hell! 277 00:17:27,860 --> 00:17:30,420 BLEEP! 278 00:17:30,460 --> 00:17:32,820 HE GROANS 279 00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:39,460 With things going so well for us, 280 00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:42,220 I tried to get James to buy into our expedition. 281 00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:46,420 I admire Hammond for doing what he's doing, I admire Arctic explorers, 282 00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:51,820 but I think the time has come to say, let's see how easily we could get to the top of Everest. 283 00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:54,780 Let's see how easily we could get to the North Pole. 284 00:17:54,820 --> 00:17:59,140 I think we could forge a career as the world's worst explorers. 285 00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:03,820 Surprisingly, James was ahead of me on that one. 286 00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:08,860 What would make it nice is a gin and tonic. Don't you think?Yes. 287 00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,540 I'd like a gin and tonic. 288 00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:14,580 I can't have one because we're in the Arctic Ocean.I'll make one. 289 00:18:14,620 --> 00:18:15,940 What? 290 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,620 HE LAUGHS 291 00:18:20,660 --> 00:18:22,580 You've got gin!I have. 292 00:18:22,620 --> 00:18:26,460 And we're in international waters so there are no drink-driving laws. 293 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:27,620 Have you got the ice? 294 00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:32,860 That's a stupid question, isn't it? 295 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:36,700 Will you slow down while I slice the lemon for the gin and tonic? 296 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,180 Now THIS is Arctic exploration. 297 00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:42,780 CAR HORN HONKS 298 00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:47,900 Please don't write to us about drinking and driving because I am not driving, I am sailored. 299 00:18:47,940 --> 00:18:48,940 Cheers. 300 00:18:55,180 --> 00:18:57,380 HMS G&T ploughed on 301 00:18:57,420 --> 00:19:00,020 and although we occasionally got stuck, 302 00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:03,900 our Icelandic mechanic showed me a neat trick 303 00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:05,820 for getting going again. 304 00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:07,260 So you rock it gently 305 00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:11,380 and scoop a tiny bit of snow with each rock. 306 00:19:17,620 --> 00:19:20,340 Woah! Woah, woah, woah! 307 00:19:23,140 --> 00:19:24,140 Good boy. 308 00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:29,380 Our target was five to six miles an hour but on the first day 309 00:19:29,420 --> 00:19:32,140 we hadn't done anything like that. 310 00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:39,780 Been on the go ten hours. 311 00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:44,340 We've done 36 miles. Not good. 312 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:45,740 Not good news. 313 00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:48,580 The problem is, we're standing on sea ice. 314 00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:51,780 It means it has salt in it so it's incredibly grippy. 315 00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:53,380 The sledge can hardly move. 316 00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:58,180 I've been skiing for nine and a half hours of those ten. 317 00:19:58,220 --> 00:19:59,860 I'm broken. 318 00:20:04,020 --> 00:20:06,340 James and I had problems too. 319 00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:08,100 We couldn't kip in the car 320 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,660 in case it fell through the ice while we fell asleep. 321 00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:13,140 So we had to build a tent. 322 00:20:13,180 --> 00:20:16,580 Everything about tenting is designed to make your life 323 00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:20,060 just a bit more difficult than it need be. I would dearly like 324 00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:24,620 to meet the man who designed this and took it to his boss 325 00:20:24,660 --> 00:20:27,380 and said, "Sir, I've made a bed!" 326 00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:30,940 Because...you take this piece of elastic off... 327 00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,540 It just isn't a bed. 328 00:20:32,580 --> 00:20:34,620 It's just half a mattress, look. 329 00:20:34,660 --> 00:20:37,340 You roll it out like that... 330 00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:42,380 ..and then...you've got to go back and get the other one. 331 00:20:42,420 --> 00:20:45,740 I mean, why didn't his boss just say to him, 332 00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:49,900 "Jenkins, you imbecile, it's not a bed, it's rubbish!" 333 00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:52,660 Everything's crap! 334 00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:04,900 DOGS HOWL 335 00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:09,660 Morning. 336 00:21:09,700 --> 00:21:12,260 This is what I wake up to every morning. 337 00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:14,380 Frost. 338 00:21:14,420 --> 00:21:17,620 All over my sleeping bag, it's frozen. 339 00:21:17,660 --> 00:21:20,340 I took my balaclava off cos it had frozen all round 340 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:25,340 where I was breathing through it in my tent with the floor made of snow. 341 00:21:25,380 --> 00:21:29,260 With us, of course, things were more civilised. 342 00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:32,140 As you know, what I'm trying to do with this mission 343 00:21:32,180 --> 00:21:35,740 is prove that Arctic exploration needn't be tough. 344 00:21:35,780 --> 00:21:39,460 Which brings me onto the delicate question of number twos. 345 00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:42,580 You see, what a traditional polar explorer would do 346 00:21:42,620 --> 00:21:46,260 is simply go out there and squat down...like an animal. 347 00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:49,060 What I've done though is fitted this bumper dumper 348 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:53,420 into the tow bar attachment and now I will try it out. 349 00:21:53,460 --> 00:21:57,260 Ooh-wooh! That's nippy. 350 00:21:57,300 --> 00:22:00,660 James, meanwhile, was on guard duty. 351 00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:02,100 HE COCKS GUN 352 00:22:02,140 --> 00:22:06,820 James, are you showing off or are you actually looking for bears? 353 00:22:06,860 --> 00:22:08,180 Cos I can't run. 354 00:22:17,260 --> 00:22:19,740 Oh, Bartlett, not on the ropes! 355 00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,820 Matty?Yeah? 356 00:22:22,860 --> 00:22:25,380 How many poos a day do these dogs need to have? 357 00:22:25,420 --> 00:22:27,300 SHE LAUGHS I'd say two. 358 00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:28,780 It's ten. 359 00:22:28,820 --> 00:22:30,940 It's ten each at least. 360 00:22:30,980 --> 00:22:34,020 Sometimes I'd look forward to the sledge bogging down 361 00:22:34,060 --> 00:22:37,740 so I could get out of the poo stream and run alongside. 362 00:22:41,740 --> 00:22:44,260 Take it up. 363 00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:48,740 Meanwhile, James was breaking out the elevenses. 364 00:22:48,780 --> 00:22:50,500 Chocolate bars. 365 00:22:50,540 --> 00:22:53,020 Ooh, chocolate, yes. 366 00:22:54,620 --> 00:22:56,540 Look, that one is called Big. 367 00:22:56,580 --> 00:22:59,180 I'll have one.Have a Big. 368 00:22:59,220 --> 00:23:03,300 We should say, if you're watching this, this is not gluttony. 369 00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:07,140 We have genuinely been told by our experts that if you are trekking 370 00:23:07,180 --> 00:23:09,940 across the Arctic, you need 5,000 calories a day 371 00:23:09,980 --> 00:23:13,940 so we're only too happy to shove that much in. 372 00:23:13,980 --> 00:23:15,180 I'm not certain 373 00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:20,020 when they told us we needed 5,000 calories a day 374 00:23:20,060 --> 00:23:23,300 that we weren't in a slightly warm car sitting down 375 00:23:23,340 --> 00:23:24,740 but better to be safe. 376 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,620 After our morning snack, 377 00:23:42,660 --> 00:23:44,420 James found my Jesus. 378 00:23:44,460 --> 00:23:46,380 Why have you brought Jesus? 379 00:23:46,420 --> 00:23:49,380 What?Why have you brought Jesus? 380 00:23:49,420 --> 00:23:53,180 The Jesus, I thought, could sit in the car 381 00:23:53,220 --> 00:23:57,060 and guide us in our hours of need if we ever have one. 382 00:23:57,100 --> 00:23:59,540 It's a Jesus action figure.Yes. 383 00:23:59,580 --> 00:24:03,060 There's a map on the back to guide us.To Galilee? 384 00:24:05,180 --> 00:24:07,500 I was now back on the skis and starting to get 385 00:24:07,540 --> 00:24:09,980 the hang of it. 386 00:24:10,020 --> 00:24:11,700 Today, Richard, 387 00:24:11,740 --> 00:24:15,780 you've got to learn how to pee on the move.Pee on the move?Yeah. 388 00:24:15,820 --> 00:24:17,620 Watch out. 389 00:24:17,660 --> 00:24:21,540 I'm not on. Matty! 390 00:24:30,460 --> 00:24:35,460 We, meanwhile, had reached the vast, uninhabited wilderness of Bathurst Island 391 00:24:35,500 --> 00:24:39,220 and we were going, if anything, even faster. 392 00:24:48,540 --> 00:24:52,540 Our lead over Hammond kept getting bigger and bigger. 393 00:24:54,940 --> 00:24:59,740 He's the plucky Brit, and like all plucky Brits, he'll come in second. 394 00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:06,540 But at this point, he had other things on his mind. 395 00:25:06,580 --> 00:25:07,940 Around in this area, 396 00:25:07,980 --> 00:25:11,580 seals make little houses, known locally as aglus, 397 00:25:11,620 --> 00:25:14,780 and they raise their pups in there all warm and safe. 398 00:25:14,820 --> 00:25:17,740 Unless a polar bear smashes its way in 399 00:25:17,780 --> 00:25:21,180 which is what's happened here...obviously. 400 00:25:21,220 --> 00:25:23,100 Oh look, 401 00:25:23,140 --> 00:25:24,780 there's its jaw bone 402 00:25:24,820 --> 00:25:26,780 with some teeth in it 403 00:25:26,820 --> 00:25:29,780 and that's, er, the rest of the bits of seal 404 00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:32,700 the polar bear didn't fancy that day. 405 00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:34,340 Maybe it was full. 406 00:25:35,940 --> 00:25:37,380 I hope it still is. 407 00:25:39,340 --> 00:25:44,980 On Bathurst, we got bogged down in the deepest snow we'd encountered so far. 408 00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:54,220 But it wasn't a problem because the Icelandics had another trick up their sleeves. 409 00:25:54,260 --> 00:25:58,620 They told us to let nearly all the air out of the tyres. 410 00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:05,060 How's that?Brilliant. 411 00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:08,340 We should explain. Four pounds per square inch in the tyres, 412 00:26:08,380 --> 00:26:12,860 we'd normally run with 28 or 30 in the normal road car. 413 00:26:12,900 --> 00:26:16,580 Four makes the tyres almost nearly flat so we're more flobbery, 414 00:26:16,620 --> 00:26:21,860 you have a wider area touching the, um...snow and ice. That's the plan. 415 00:26:22,740 --> 00:26:25,820 Once on firmer ground, we had to put air back in the tyres. 416 00:26:25,860 --> 00:26:29,980 But that was OK because the car had an onboard pump. 417 00:26:36,900 --> 00:26:40,820 If only we'd had a pump for our stupid tent. 418 00:26:40,860 --> 00:26:43,140 HowBLEEPmonstrous is this? 419 00:26:43,180 --> 00:26:46,740 It's beyond... It's not normal. 420 00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:55,580 I was now over 50 miles behind, but Matty had come up with a plan. 421 00:26:55,620 --> 00:26:59,820 We know we haven't got the edge on speed, so we need to use tactics. 422 00:26:59,860 --> 00:27:02,580 This is what we're going to do. It's now about 8pm. 423 00:27:02,620 --> 00:27:05,060 We've run all day. We've made brilliant progress. 424 00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:09,140 We'll put these guys to bed, we've chained them up. They'll have a sleep. 425 00:27:09,180 --> 00:27:11,300 They'll only do so for about three hours, 426 00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:14,540 then we'll get up again and then we can run at night. 427 00:27:14,580 --> 00:27:18,860 The dogs prefer it. They love the colder temperatures, cos they can run faster. 428 00:27:23,180 --> 00:27:25,500 And so, in the early hours of the morning, 429 00:27:25,540 --> 00:27:28,740 when the temperature had dropped to minus 35, 430 00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:30,860 we roused the dogs and ran. 431 00:27:47,860 --> 00:27:51,060 The silence is beautiful. 432 00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:55,700 'Then, suddenly...' 433 00:27:55,740 --> 00:27:56,820 Oh! Oh, no! 434 00:27:56,860 --> 00:27:58,780 DOGS BARK 435 00:27:59,940 --> 00:28:03,940 I think it caught our scent earlier on in the day, 436 00:28:03,980 --> 00:28:08,100 followed our tracks, but whether or not it's just hanging around, 437 00:28:08,140 --> 00:28:12,260 and picked up the scent now as it comes downwind. 438 00:28:12,300 --> 00:28:17,100 As I was pinned down by the bear, Team G&T were getting away. 439 00:28:17,140 --> 00:28:19,060 Clarkson! 440 00:28:19,100 --> 00:28:22,300 I know it's you, you insufferable oaf! 441 00:28:22,340 --> 00:28:24,180 I'm on the bloody throne! 442 00:28:28,260 --> 00:28:30,220 We ate up the miles... 443 00:28:32,100 --> 00:28:35,060 ..and discussed how we'd celebrate when we made the Pole. 444 00:28:36,700 --> 00:28:39,140 So, of all the things you could have brought, 445 00:28:39,180 --> 00:28:41,460 champagne, whatever it might be, 446 00:28:41,500 --> 00:28:43,220 you've brought a tin of Spam? 447 00:28:43,260 --> 00:28:44,620 Yes. 448 00:28:50,740 --> 00:28:53,220 And then we, too, encountered a bear. 449 00:28:53,260 --> 00:28:55,980 Oh, it's got babies! 450 00:28:57,260 --> 00:28:59,260 Sweet! 451 00:28:59,300 --> 00:29:00,860 Not being Attenborough, 452 00:29:00,900 --> 00:29:03,580 I couldn't think of anything else to say! 453 00:29:03,620 --> 00:29:05,140 BEAR GROWLS 454 00:29:07,060 --> 00:29:10,940 So we set off and, with a bit of divine guidance... 455 00:29:10,980 --> 00:29:13,380 'I am the vine, you are the branches. 456 00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:16,300 'If a man remains in me, and I in him, 457 00:29:16,340 --> 00:29:18,460 'he will bear much fruit.' 458 00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:21,420 We made it uneaten to the other side of the island. 459 00:29:27,060 --> 00:29:28,620 I mean, look at that. 460 00:29:28,660 --> 00:29:30,300 That's not bad, is it? 461 00:29:31,660 --> 00:29:34,180 Absolutely astonishing. 462 00:29:34,220 --> 00:29:36,740 Can I spoil it for you by...? 463 00:29:40,220 --> 00:29:43,140 I've been running all day, all night, 464 00:29:43,180 --> 00:29:45,420 and now it's day, or night, 465 00:29:45,460 --> 00:29:47,060 and I've got to sleep. 466 00:29:47,100 --> 00:29:49,300 I'm confused. 467 00:29:49,340 --> 00:29:51,260 My body clock's broken. 468 00:29:58,980 --> 00:30:02,580 Our progress was so good, I decided to find out 469 00:30:02,620 --> 00:30:05,740 what Hammond was making such a fuss about. 470 00:30:05,780 --> 00:30:09,460 # Round, round, get around I get around 471 00:30:09,500 --> 00:30:11,220 # Get around Whoo-hoo 472 00:30:11,260 --> 00:30:12,420 # I get around 473 00:30:12,460 --> 00:30:14,980 # I get around Get around, round, round... # 474 00:30:15,020 --> 00:30:16,860 This is brilliant! 475 00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:19,180 # ..I get around... # 476 00:30:19,220 --> 00:30:21,540 Yeah! 477 00:30:21,580 --> 00:30:24,100 MUSIC STOPS Oh, hang on... 478 00:30:24,140 --> 00:30:26,100 Guys! 479 00:30:26,140 --> 00:30:29,140 Can you bring a car to tow us out? 480 00:30:29,180 --> 00:30:34,460 First time at the wheel, James has managed to put it, basically, into the sea! 481 00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:36,980 That is seawater. 482 00:30:37,020 --> 00:30:39,620 If this car goes through, it's game over. 483 00:30:39,660 --> 00:30:41,660 The car was sinking... 484 00:30:41,700 --> 00:30:45,700 but luckily the Icelandics had another trick up their sleeve - 485 00:30:45,740 --> 00:30:47,180 a bungee rope. 486 00:30:49,780 --> 00:30:52,700 The tow car would set off at a huge speed, 487 00:30:52,740 --> 00:30:55,540 building energy in the elasticated rope, 488 00:30:55,580 --> 00:31:00,140 which would then pull our stricken car gently but firmly out of the slush. 489 00:31:00,180 --> 00:31:01,820 OK, Hal, are you ready?Yes! 490 00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:03,740 ENGINE REVS 491 00:31:05,140 --> 00:31:07,620 It was brilliant. 492 00:31:07,660 --> 00:31:09,860 Thank God for that! 493 00:31:09,900 --> 00:31:14,580 We were free, but for the first time, James and I had real problems. 494 00:31:18,660 --> 00:31:21,060 We'd been warned before we set off 495 00:31:21,100 --> 00:31:25,300 that constant tidal movement weakens the ice where it meets the shore. 496 00:31:25,340 --> 00:31:28,260 They told us not to drive near the coast, 497 00:31:28,300 --> 00:31:30,620 but how do you avoid them 498 00:31:30,660 --> 00:31:33,420 when you're in a fjord? 499 00:31:33,460 --> 00:31:37,100 Look how narrow it is here. It can't be more than a mile, if that. 500 00:31:37,140 --> 00:31:38,860 They say don't go near the coasts... 501 00:31:38,900 --> 00:31:42,660 And we can't NOT go near the coasts. We can't not go near the coasts. 502 00:31:42,700 --> 00:31:47,220 To make things worse, the ice here was perilously thin. 503 00:31:47,260 --> 00:31:49,340 LOUD CRUNCHING 504 00:31:49,380 --> 00:31:52,620 Look, it's just completely covered in cracks. 505 00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:56,980 We're facing a problem. 506 00:31:57,020 --> 00:32:00,380 There is no other way through here. 507 00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:04,420 I mean, that's a cliff. It's a sheer cliff that way. 508 00:32:04,460 --> 00:32:06,300 We cannot go on the land. 509 00:32:06,340 --> 00:32:08,060 If we go back, 510 00:32:08,100 --> 00:32:13,140 the only way we can go is all the way back to Resolute, giving up. 511 00:32:13,180 --> 00:32:17,660 Based on no knowledge at all, we decided to push on 512 00:32:17,700 --> 00:32:19,340 in our three-tonne truck. 513 00:32:19,380 --> 00:32:21,980 It's blue.I know. 514 00:32:22,020 --> 00:32:24,780 Looking at the ocean.I know. 515 00:32:24,820 --> 00:32:28,980 If we went through the ice, our only chance of escape 516 00:32:29,020 --> 00:32:31,740 would be to smash the glass. 517 00:32:31,780 --> 00:32:36,380 See, I don't like the look of that bit.I don't either, but if we go... 518 00:32:36,420 --> 00:32:38,260 CRUNCHING 519 00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:39,420 BLEEP 520 00:32:41,420 --> 00:32:43,540 This isBLEEPscary. 521 00:32:44,740 --> 00:32:46,140 As it dawned on us 522 00:32:46,180 --> 00:32:49,700 the nearest hospital was 1,500 miles away, 523 00:32:49,740 --> 00:32:54,340 and the nearest rescue helicopter even further than that, 524 00:32:54,380 --> 00:32:57,060 we began to understand the danger of where we were 525 00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:59,460 and what we were doing. 526 00:33:01,580 --> 00:33:04,540 If we go in here, we're dead, aren't we?Yep. 527 00:33:05,700 --> 00:33:07,180 I mean, dead. 528 00:33:09,260 --> 00:33:13,700 It went on like this for mile after mile. 529 00:33:13,740 --> 00:33:17,020 We just drove over here and the whole thing's collapsed. 530 00:33:17,060 --> 00:33:18,420 That's nothing. 531 00:33:19,660 --> 00:33:20,860 Look. 532 00:33:24,380 --> 00:33:28,260 Mercifully, though, the ice eventually thickened. 533 00:33:33,100 --> 00:33:35,500 But we were still in all kinds of trouble, 534 00:33:35,540 --> 00:33:38,420 because we knew from pilots who'd flown overhead 535 00:33:38,460 --> 00:33:41,340 we were about to enter a massive ice boulder field, 536 00:33:41,380 --> 00:33:45,860 and we'd been told we wouldn't have a hope of getting through it. 537 00:33:45,900 --> 00:33:49,940 That night, for once, it was James trying to cheer me up. 538 00:33:49,980 --> 00:33:53,660 Tomorrow, we hit the boulder field, OK?Quail's egg? 539 00:33:53,700 --> 00:33:56,900 Ooh, lovely. Got any celery salt? 540 00:33:56,940 --> 00:33:58,820 So we've got a choice. 541 00:33:58,860 --> 00:34:02,340 We can go west, where it's new ice, which is likely to be jaggedy, 542 00:34:02,380 --> 00:34:07,660 or we can go straight on or east, which will be old ice, which is terrifying.Yes. 543 00:34:07,700 --> 00:34:11,860 We'll be down to two miles a DAY going through that way. Pate de foie gras? 544 00:34:11,900 --> 00:34:14,340 I know it's cruel, but I really do like it. 545 00:34:14,380 --> 00:34:16,500 So, which do you prefer? 546 00:34:16,540 --> 00:34:20,700 Or this is a 24-month-old Parmigiano. Stravecchio, in fact. 547 00:34:20,740 --> 00:34:22,300 That should be superb. 548 00:34:22,340 --> 00:34:25,620 Anyway, go on, the ice?We're likely to be down to two miles a DAY. 549 00:34:25,660 --> 00:34:29,620 We have to make this decision. Tomorrow, we should leave fairly early. 550 00:34:29,660 --> 00:34:33,020 What would those salmon eggs go really well with? 551 00:34:33,060 --> 00:34:34,460 Well... 552 00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:35,900 a crisp white, 553 00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:37,300 but we can dream... 554 00:34:37,340 --> 00:34:38,700 Like a Chablis, really. 555 00:34:38,740 --> 00:34:40,940 Yes. So, do we get... 556 00:34:40,980 --> 00:34:43,420 NO! 557 00:34:43,460 --> 00:34:45,620 No! James! 558 00:34:45,660 --> 00:34:47,660 JEREMY GASPS 559 00:34:47,700 --> 00:34:50,020 Look what he's got - wine! 560 00:34:50,060 --> 00:34:52,620 I haven't had any for days! 561 00:34:52,660 --> 00:34:54,380 I knew you'd like that. 562 00:34:54,420 --> 00:34:58,980 A week in Resolute and three days on the ice, and just surviving on only gin! 563 00:34:59,020 --> 00:35:02,660 WIND HOWLS 564 00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:06,540 Over at Team Dog, we were covering good ground 565 00:35:06,580 --> 00:35:08,780 with the night-time running. 566 00:35:08,820 --> 00:35:12,340 But I was getting knackered. 567 00:35:12,380 --> 00:35:15,500 It's weird the way being very tired affects you. 568 00:35:15,540 --> 00:35:20,100 Today, privately, whilst being towed along by the sledge, 569 00:35:20,140 --> 00:35:22,500 I had a little weep. 570 00:35:22,540 --> 00:35:24,860 I haven't done that for years. 571 00:35:24,900 --> 00:35:26,460 And, out here, 572 00:35:26,500 --> 00:35:31,020 the tears cause moisture in your ski goggles, 573 00:35:31,060 --> 00:35:32,900 and it froze on the inside, 574 00:35:32,940 --> 00:35:34,380 so I couldn't see. 575 00:35:34,420 --> 00:35:36,940 So then I had something to cry about! 576 00:35:36,980 --> 00:35:42,500 After just two hours' sleep, though, the dogs were raring to go. 577 00:35:42,540 --> 00:35:45,140 DOGS BARK LOUDLY 578 00:35:45,180 --> 00:35:47,060 Out, Tamar! 579 00:35:47,100 --> 00:35:48,980 Get out! 580 00:35:49,020 --> 00:35:52,140 Don't touch him. If he's scared, he'll bite anybody. 581 00:35:57,180 --> 00:36:01,980 Today, it would be a killer getting over the mountains, 582 00:36:02,020 --> 00:36:06,100 and Matty's never-ending bonhomie was starting to grate. 583 00:36:06,140 --> 00:36:10,940 Nothing like a couple of hours' sleep to bring your morale up. Hup, hup! 584 00:36:15,740 --> 00:36:18,140 ZIP OPENS 585 00:36:19,620 --> 00:36:22,580 Oh, God, what's he doing? 586 00:36:24,060 --> 00:36:25,420 Ohh. 587 00:36:30,780 --> 00:36:32,460 Where's my tea, Clarkson? 588 00:36:33,740 --> 00:36:36,860 That's from trying to defrost our foie gras. 589 00:36:36,900 --> 00:36:40,700 I put it on the fire and the tin all went manky. 590 00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:42,900 Can you open the fire-lighters? 591 00:36:42,940 --> 00:36:44,500 OK, I'll race you. 592 00:36:44,540 --> 00:36:46,380 STOVESQUEAKS 593 00:36:51,220 --> 00:36:56,220 I knew we were in for a tough day and was impatient to get going. 594 00:36:57,860 --> 00:36:59,740 Very unfunny! 595 00:36:59,780 --> 00:37:01,380 Idiot! 596 00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:08,860 My iPod has stopped working. My little camera doesn't work. 597 00:37:08,900 --> 00:37:13,260 My radio transmitter for my microphone outside the car doesn't work. 598 00:37:13,300 --> 00:37:16,580 Everything is being ruined by the cold, 599 00:37:16,620 --> 00:37:21,300 and yet the car and everything on it is still working fine. 600 00:37:21,340 --> 00:37:22,540 It's... 601 00:37:22,580 --> 00:37:24,780 It is remarkable. 602 00:37:24,820 --> 00:37:31,300 Which was good, because soon it came face to face with this... 603 00:37:47,660 --> 00:37:50,980 This is what we'd been warned about - 604 00:37:51,020 --> 00:37:54,420 a massive boulder field, full of smashed-up blocks of ice, 605 00:37:54,460 --> 00:37:56,620 some the size of houses. 606 00:37:56,660 --> 00:37:59,420 How the hell did nature come up with that? 607 00:37:59,460 --> 00:38:03,220 This is the absolute definition of the chaos theory. 608 00:38:03,260 --> 00:38:06,860 However, as we were 90 miles ahead of Hammond, 609 00:38:06,900 --> 00:38:10,860 and we had no idea about the horrors that lay ahead, 610 00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:12,620 we entered in good spirits. 611 00:38:12,660 --> 00:38:14,740 Look at it! Look at that! 612 00:38:14,780 --> 00:38:17,540 It's all those Star Trek scenes, 613 00:38:17,580 --> 00:38:20,580 you know, in Star Trek, when they land on a hostile planet. 614 00:38:20,620 --> 00:38:22,460 And that's some other...It's that! 615 00:38:34,940 --> 00:38:36,620 Get up, get up, get up! 616 00:38:38,780 --> 00:38:40,420 Whoa! 617 00:38:40,460 --> 00:38:42,780 Pick it up. 618 00:38:45,340 --> 00:38:47,140 Ho-hup! 619 00:38:53,740 --> 00:38:56,140 THEY GASP 620 00:38:57,780 --> 00:39:01,260 The boulder field immediately started to bog us down. 621 00:39:03,740 --> 00:39:06,260 We couldn't drive over the ice blocks. 622 00:39:07,740 --> 00:39:09,300 That's impossible. 623 00:39:09,340 --> 00:39:14,060 And between them were snow drifts 15 feet deep. 624 00:39:16,380 --> 00:39:20,180 Each time we spin the wheels, we sink a little bit more. 625 00:39:20,220 --> 00:39:24,580 Even the Icelandic rocking trick stopped working. 626 00:39:24,620 --> 00:39:27,620 ENGINE REVS 627 00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:39,180 Honestly, James, I can't see the bloody... 628 00:39:41,100 --> 00:39:44,460 This is interesting.Hold it there! Hold it! 629 00:39:46,420 --> 00:39:48,460 God Almighty! 630 00:39:50,140 --> 00:39:56,780 It's very hard work, and very cold, and quite lonely out here. 631 00:39:59,620 --> 00:40:04,900 The boulder field was also a maze. We'd spent hours picking a route... 632 00:40:04,940 --> 00:40:07,140 That way.What?That way. 633 00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:11,100 Then hit a complete dead end. 634 00:40:11,140 --> 00:40:13,580 There has to be another way through here. 635 00:40:16,300 --> 00:40:17,620 Down there, down there. 636 00:40:19,220 --> 00:40:21,380 Then it got even worse. 637 00:40:21,420 --> 00:40:23,460 ENGINE SPLUTTERS AND CUTS OUT 638 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,740 God! 639 00:40:25,780 --> 00:40:29,020 This is a lump of solid ice, 640 00:40:29,060 --> 00:40:32,260 and another one at the back. The car's sunk in between them. 641 00:40:32,300 --> 00:40:35,580 There's no help, either, because the other two cars are... 642 00:40:35,620 --> 00:40:38,140 I can just see one, the other one's miles away, 643 00:40:38,180 --> 00:40:39,940 and they're both stuck, as well, 644 00:40:39,980 --> 00:40:42,500 so we have to get this out, somehow. 645 00:40:42,540 --> 00:40:46,700 And with each passing minute, Hammond's getting closer. 646 00:41:04,620 --> 00:41:07,700 No, James, it won't do it. It's not going to work. 647 00:41:09,620 --> 00:41:11,820 Oh, that's ice, as well! 648 00:41:14,660 --> 00:41:18,780 It took us three hours to chop ourselves free. 649 00:41:21,140 --> 00:41:22,420 Try that! 650 00:41:22,460 --> 00:41:25,140 ENGINE REVS 651 00:41:25,180 --> 00:41:29,540 This has just crippled us. We've been in here nearly a day. 652 00:41:32,740 --> 00:41:36,020 As we got more and more lost in the ice maze, 653 00:41:36,060 --> 00:41:39,060 we lost all sense of time and distance. 654 00:41:44,340 --> 00:41:47,020 It's four o'clock in the morning. It's a nightmare. 655 00:41:47,060 --> 00:41:51,980 We're just covering inches per hour, literally. 656 00:41:52,020 --> 00:41:54,420 By the time we pitched camp, 657 00:41:54,460 --> 00:41:57,340 we'd been in the boulder field for 20 hours, 658 00:41:57,380 --> 00:42:00,260 and we were only one mile nearer to the Pole. 659 00:42:06,940 --> 00:42:08,300 Come on! 660 00:42:08,340 --> 00:42:11,460 In the meantime, we'd cleared Bathurst Island, 661 00:42:11,500 --> 00:42:14,700 but the brutal pace was starting to fray my temper. 662 00:42:14,740 --> 00:42:18,900 Did you manage to keep it fit?Yeah. I do need a new lead dog, he's... 663 00:42:18,940 --> 00:42:22,780 You can try, but there's nobody else here, and I have a shovel. 664 00:42:22,820 --> 00:42:24,020 I wouldn't. 665 00:42:29,820 --> 00:42:37,500 At one point today, I had to count the dog traces onto the carabina that holds them to the sled. 666 00:42:37,540 --> 00:42:40,020 We untangle the leads, and put them back on. 667 00:42:40,060 --> 00:42:42,140 There are ten, cos there's ten dogs. 668 00:42:42,180 --> 00:42:45,900 It took me three attempts to count to ten. 669 00:42:51,380 --> 00:42:54,340 After two hours' kip, we too were frazzled, 670 00:42:54,380 --> 00:42:59,340 and starting to understand why no-one had ever taken a car to the Pole before. 671 00:42:59,380 --> 00:43:01,980 Agh! Oh, no! 672 00:43:02,020 --> 00:43:05,700 Right...Look at that!I know. 673 00:43:05,740 --> 00:43:09,060 That is on the horizon, and that is still a lump of ice. 674 00:43:09,100 --> 00:43:12,060 That means there's bad ice right out there. 675 00:43:13,420 --> 00:43:15,220 We're gonna be here forever. 676 00:43:15,260 --> 00:43:17,260 ENGINE REVS 677 00:43:21,060 --> 00:43:24,900 But we had to get out, because we had limited fuel, limited food, 678 00:43:24,940 --> 00:43:28,740 and in here, absolutely no chance of rescue. 679 00:43:28,780 --> 00:43:33,740 My dream of a luxury trip to the Pole was in tatters. 680 00:43:33,780 --> 00:43:36,220 My hands are freezing, James. 681 00:43:39,580 --> 00:43:41,460 No, James, it won't do it. 682 00:43:46,420 --> 00:43:49,060 When I got down to the bottom of that slope, 683 00:43:49,100 --> 00:43:51,340 we were back where we were... I know. 684 00:43:51,380 --> 00:43:54,620 ..an hour and a half ago. You don't have to remind me. 685 00:43:54,660 --> 00:43:57,740 In eight hours, we went nowhere. 686 00:43:57,780 --> 00:43:59,300 ENGINE REVS 687 00:44:03,460 --> 00:44:06,020 Can you turn the cameras off?Yeah. 688 00:44:14,820 --> 00:44:17,140 We, meanwhile, were cruising up the fjord, 689 00:44:17,180 --> 00:44:21,780 where May had gone through the ice, but we had no worries, sort of. 690 00:44:21,820 --> 00:44:23,820 Oooh! Ooof! Agh! 691 00:44:24,740 --> 00:44:29,300 ..because Matty had unleashed her secret weapon. 692 00:44:38,460 --> 00:44:41,220 Good boy! Good boy! Come on! Good boy! 693 00:44:42,740 --> 00:44:46,740 It's a kite. Matty puts it up and skis with it, 694 00:44:46,780 --> 00:44:48,860 that saves weight, motivates the dogs. 695 00:44:50,180 --> 00:44:51,180 Yeah! 696 00:44:51,220 --> 00:44:55,260 Now we're making progress! Now we are making progress! Ha ha! 697 00:44:58,500 --> 00:45:00,100 CAR ENGINE REVS 698 00:45:00,140 --> 00:45:05,860 After two days of going nowhere, Jeremy's patience had snapped. 699 00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:15,140 Uh-oh.Oh my God, what is that? 700 00:45:15,180 --> 00:45:17,340 I think that's the auxiliary fuel tank. 701 00:45:17,380 --> 00:45:21,060 I'll tell you something else... A whole fuel tank has dropped off. 702 00:45:21,100 --> 00:45:22,620 Tell you something else.What? 703 00:45:22,660 --> 00:45:25,060 It smells remarkably like it might be leaking. 704 00:45:25,100 --> 00:45:28,180 Oh, Christ, hang on a minute. James, James, James! 705 00:45:28,220 --> 00:45:31,980 The propshaft is gouged to hell, and the fuel tank is gouged to hell. 706 00:45:32,020 --> 00:45:33,980 How much is in the main tank now? 707 00:45:34,020 --> 00:45:35,500 If we're losing fuel, 708 00:45:35,540 --> 00:45:39,340 we've got to get as much as possible into the other tank. 709 00:45:41,660 --> 00:45:44,820 The miles were tumbling. 710 00:45:51,860 --> 00:45:55,460 We'd managed to pump some of the fuel into the good tank, 711 00:45:55,500 --> 00:45:57,620 but then we hit another problem. 712 00:45:57,660 --> 00:46:02,020 That's what the fuel tank did to the shock absorber when it came off, 713 00:46:02,060 --> 00:46:04,460 so we've had to replace that as well, 714 00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:06,860 and we've now ended up with one full tank, 715 00:46:06,900 --> 00:46:10,300 the standard tank the car comes with, the other one is empty. 716 00:46:10,340 --> 00:46:14,540 Er...crossed fingers, really. 717 00:46:14,580 --> 00:46:18,140 The crash had also ripped a tyre off the rim, 718 00:46:18,180 --> 00:46:22,700 but luckily, our Icelandics had yet another trick up their sleeves. 719 00:46:22,740 --> 00:46:27,340 They filled the tyre with lighter fuel, and... 720 00:46:29,420 --> 00:46:31,180 Great success! 721 00:46:31,220 --> 00:46:36,220 However, we now had barely enough fuel to get to the Pole. 722 00:46:36,260 --> 00:46:40,820 We were still stuck, and then came a call from Team Dog. 723 00:46:40,860 --> 00:46:46,380 In the two days that we'd been trapped, he'd closed us down, 724 00:46:46,420 --> 00:46:49,140 and was now in the boulder field, as well. 725 00:46:49,180 --> 00:46:51,900 THEY SHOUT TO DOGS 726 00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:58,860 The news caused a bit of a row. 727 00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:01,140 Sometimes, James, you have to move fast... 728 00:47:01,180 --> 00:47:04,180 Sometimes, Jeremy, you have to move slowly, for example, 729 00:47:04,220 --> 00:47:05,540 going over the soft snow, 730 00:47:05,580 --> 00:47:08,660 where we've been told there are huge lumps of immobile ice, 731 00:47:08,700 --> 00:47:10,180 which is what's caused that. 732 00:47:13,100 --> 00:47:16,740 We wished we'd paid more attention at the Alpine training camp. 733 00:47:16,780 --> 00:47:20,660 We wished we were fitter. It really was starting to get tough. 734 00:47:24,340 --> 00:47:29,060 And we were both absolutely worn out. 735 00:47:37,340 --> 00:47:39,060 Oh, bloody hell! 736 00:47:39,100 --> 00:47:42,100 We felt certain that Hammond was ahead, 737 00:47:42,140 --> 00:47:45,100 but we had to stop and put the tent up, 738 00:47:45,140 --> 00:47:46,940 and it was a nightmare. 739 00:47:46,980 --> 00:47:49,660 It was minus 42, we were exhausted, 740 00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:55,100 and Reynolds' prediction about falling out was starting to ring true. 741 00:47:55,140 --> 00:47:57,740 Hang on, hang on.Are you in?No. 742 00:47:57,780 --> 00:48:00,100 JustBLEEPput it in! 743 00:48:00,140 --> 00:48:03,900 Just...please, James...Look, I am so unspeakably outraged with you. 744 00:48:03,940 --> 00:48:04,980 Be quick, for once! 745 00:48:05,020 --> 00:48:07,620 You're not even doing this intelligently. 746 00:48:07,660 --> 00:48:11,020 You have to push it through until it goes in the other end. 747 00:48:11,060 --> 00:48:14,580 James, I am dying here. You cannot build a tent by shouting. 748 00:48:17,220 --> 00:48:18,900 Oh,BLEEP! 749 00:48:18,940 --> 00:48:22,460 That, frankly, is a pathetic effort. 750 00:48:25,460 --> 00:48:31,060 The dogs were also fighting, and Matty dispensed swift discipline. 751 00:48:31,100 --> 00:48:32,740 Get out! Out! 752 00:48:32,780 --> 00:48:35,700 Out! Out! Out! Out! 753 00:48:35,740 --> 00:48:37,100 SHE CONTINUES TO SHOUT 754 00:48:40,500 --> 00:48:43,660 I need to run 'em for a bit, this is crazy. 755 00:48:43,700 --> 00:48:45,620 They mean the world to her, 756 00:48:45,660 --> 00:48:47,500 but they're not domestic pets. 757 00:48:47,540 --> 00:48:51,820 They're pack animals, and sometimes, she has to remind them who's boss. 758 00:48:55,460 --> 00:48:59,020 With order restored, they blitzed the boulder field, 759 00:48:59,060 --> 00:49:00,580 and soon we were clear. 760 00:49:00,620 --> 00:49:04,180 Look ahead! Look! We've done it! We are out! 761 00:49:04,220 --> 00:49:06,620 Whoo! Come on, guys, let's go! 762 00:49:10,260 --> 00:49:15,540 Meanwhile, we were beginning a third day stuck in the same frozen hell. 763 00:49:15,580 --> 00:49:17,340 SAW WHIRRS 764 00:49:17,380 --> 00:49:19,420 Whoa, whoa, whoa. James, James... 765 00:49:19,460 --> 00:49:22,140 What?You're standing on, like, an ice bridge! 766 00:49:22,180 --> 00:49:25,740 Yeah, what's wrong with that? You'll cut yourBLEEParm off! 767 00:49:25,780 --> 00:49:27,620 To try and speed things up, 768 00:49:27,660 --> 00:49:31,700 we'd broken out a chainsaw to cut away the bigger boulders, 769 00:49:31,740 --> 00:49:35,220 and some snow ladders to cross the deeper ravines. 770 00:49:35,260 --> 00:49:41,100 Where I've sawn it off square... James?What? 771 00:49:41,140 --> 00:49:47,580 This bolt's stuck to my lips. Oh, Christ. This bolt's stuck there. 772 00:49:47,620 --> 00:49:52,660 Oh,BLEEP!James, hurry up. Put some coffee in your mouth. 773 00:49:52,700 --> 00:49:54,500 ItBLEEPhurts, man. 774 00:49:56,500 --> 00:49:59,100 Oh, God. Agh! 775 00:49:59,140 --> 00:50:01,700 Agh, it's hot!Put it in there, put it in there. 776 00:50:03,020 --> 00:50:05,940 Shove your face in it. Oh, thank God for that! 777 00:50:05,980 --> 00:50:08,660 Bloody hell! 778 00:50:09,660 --> 00:50:13,660 That's just gonna fall down. It's not, cos I'll dig it in. 779 00:50:17,580 --> 00:50:19,260 OK! 780 00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:28,180 James...Oh,BLEEP! 781 00:50:38,540 --> 00:50:41,300 Right, better hand me down, Matty, we are in a race. 782 00:50:41,340 --> 00:50:43,900 We need to make good speed on the flat we've got. 783 00:50:54,460 --> 00:50:58,180 Do you know, over the last two days, two and a half days, 784 00:50:58,220 --> 00:51:01,220 our average speed was less than a mile. 785 00:51:01,260 --> 00:51:03,300 I have, um... 786 00:51:03,340 --> 00:51:07,260 Oh! Ow!Do you know what I was about to say? 787 00:51:07,300 --> 00:51:12,260 Do you know what I was about to say?What?I think we're coming to the end of the boulder field. 788 00:51:12,300 --> 00:51:16,500 Look about. What can you NOT see? 789 00:51:16,540 --> 00:51:22,020 I think we have actually got to the edge of the good ice, haven't we? 790 00:51:23,060 --> 00:51:25,260 That's very flat over there. 791 00:51:25,300 --> 00:51:26,780 James, we're out. 792 00:51:26,820 --> 00:51:31,020 We've made i-i-i-i-it! 793 00:51:31,060 --> 00:51:33,380 It's flat! 794 00:51:33,420 --> 00:51:35,900 It's so smooth! 795 00:51:35,940 --> 00:51:37,940 No more going up and down! 796 00:51:37,980 --> 00:51:39,660 Oh! 797 00:51:39,700 --> 00:51:43,380 It had taken three days of almost non-stop driving, 798 00:51:43,420 --> 00:51:46,860 but this incredible machine had breached what the experts had said 799 00:51:46,900 --> 00:51:49,220 would be an impregnable wall. 800 00:51:49,260 --> 00:51:52,860 It had taken on the impossible... and it had won. 801 00:52:20,500 --> 00:52:23,020 75 miles to the Pole.I know. 802 00:52:23,060 --> 00:52:25,660 And my celebratory tin of Spam. 803 00:52:27,220 --> 00:52:29,980 What if I ate your Spam? 804 00:52:30,020 --> 00:52:31,460 You're not eating my Spam, 805 00:52:31,500 --> 00:52:34,180 unless you want to go home to your wife and children 806 00:52:34,220 --> 00:52:36,300 with the hatchet buried in your head. 807 00:52:36,340 --> 00:52:42,020 We knew that with just 75 miles to go on flat ice, 808 00:52:42,060 --> 00:52:44,580 we could easily overhaul Hammond. 809 00:52:44,620 --> 00:52:48,460 So we decided to treat ourselves to a spot of tenting. 810 00:52:48,500 --> 00:52:51,980 I am never, ever, ever, ever going to complain ever again 811 00:52:52,020 --> 00:52:53,940 about the quality of a hotel, 812 00:52:53,980 --> 00:52:57,740 as long as I get to a hotel and I don't have to actually build it. 813 00:52:57,780 --> 00:52:59,180 "Ah! 814 00:52:59,220 --> 00:53:01,260 "Do you want a room, sir? Certainly. 815 00:53:01,300 --> 00:53:05,740 "Here's some bricks, some mortar, a lavatory seat, some wood, some nails, a hammer, 816 00:53:05,780 --> 00:53:08,580 "some carpet, some glass..." What? 817 00:53:08,620 --> 00:53:11,180 Seat the pole. 818 00:53:14,620 --> 00:53:19,260 'We too knew that the car would reel us in. 819 00:53:19,300 --> 00:53:20,940 'So we kept on going.' 820 00:53:20,980 --> 00:53:25,380 Oh-h! I know I need to get off. 821 00:53:29,700 --> 00:53:31,500 After 90 minutes' sleep, 822 00:53:31,540 --> 00:53:35,060 we pulled down the tent for what would be the last time. 823 00:53:35,100 --> 00:53:37,660 This is what I have to put up with at night - 824 00:53:37,700 --> 00:53:40,140 sleeping next to a six foot sinus 825 00:53:40,180 --> 00:53:44,420 that then wees in a bottle and leaves it for me to clear up. 826 00:53:44,460 --> 00:53:47,460 'A spot of revenge was in order.' 827 00:53:47,740 --> 00:53:49,140 GUN COCKS 828 00:53:51,940 --> 00:53:53,860 Result. 829 00:53:56,900 --> 00:53:59,860 There was another result as well. 830 00:53:59,900 --> 00:54:04,820 We figured out that we must have retaken the lead from Team Dog. 831 00:54:04,860 --> 00:54:06,500 BARKING 832 00:54:06,540 --> 00:54:10,140 As they struggled on, we tried to rekindle 833 00:54:10,180 --> 00:54:14,660 some of the fun that seemed to have gone missing from our journey. 834 00:54:14,700 --> 00:54:16,380 I spy, 835 00:54:16,420 --> 00:54:19,340 with my little eye, something beginning with... 836 00:54:19,380 --> 00:54:21,260 S. 837 00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:24,060 Snow.Yes. 838 00:54:24,100 --> 00:54:28,020 I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with...S. 839 00:54:28,060 --> 00:54:30,140 Sky.Yes. 840 00:54:30,180 --> 00:54:32,340 I spy, with my little eye... 841 00:54:32,380 --> 00:54:35,660 If it begins with S, I'm going to kill you. 842 00:54:35,700 --> 00:54:39,860 'But then, amazingly, we spotted something beginning with P.' 843 00:54:50,300 --> 00:54:52,740 It's a DC-3.It is. 844 00:54:55,780 --> 00:55:00,020 Or a C-47, strictly.What, because it's the military one? 845 00:55:00,060 --> 00:55:01,860 Exactly. 846 00:55:03,820 --> 00:55:06,540 Imagine surviving that plane crash 847 00:55:06,580 --> 00:55:09,180 and then finding yourself here. 848 00:55:09,220 --> 00:55:10,980 That's a bad deal. 849 00:55:15,540 --> 00:55:18,020 We'd run for 15 hours straight. 850 00:55:18,060 --> 00:55:21,900 Even so, I knew we were going to lose. 851 00:55:27,340 --> 00:55:29,780 Um... 852 00:55:33,940 --> 00:55:38,540 You know, we are now the most northern people in the world. 853 00:55:38,580 --> 00:55:42,300 Apart from Michael Parkinson, obviously. 854 00:55:49,060 --> 00:55:52,220 With the Pole just ten miles away, 855 00:55:52,260 --> 00:55:55,500 it really did look like we'd win the race 856 00:55:55,540 --> 00:55:59,780 and be the first people ever to drive there. But then... 857 00:56:03,900 --> 00:56:07,180 It can't be. It can be.It is, mate. 858 00:56:11,460 --> 00:56:16,380 It couldn't be more than a few miles deep, but it didn't need to be, 859 00:56:16,420 --> 00:56:20,380 because if Hammond was anywhere near, we were history. 860 00:56:25,300 --> 00:56:26,900 Come on! 861 00:56:34,020 --> 00:56:34,900 Which way? 862 00:56:45,420 --> 00:56:50,940 James, is it stuck in the snow? It's working.We're side-slipping. 863 00:56:50,980 --> 00:56:52,860 Drive! 864 00:56:52,900 --> 00:56:54,060 Oh, this is just unreal! 865 00:56:54,100 --> 00:56:57,100 'It took us three hours to do a mile.' 866 00:56:57,140 --> 00:56:58,220 Hold it! 867 00:56:59,700 --> 00:57:03,300 'And then the car beached itself on a block of ice. 868 00:57:06,700 --> 00:57:08,980 'We were desperate.' 869 00:57:09,020 --> 00:57:12,180 Ho over! Gee, gee over. Gee, gee! 870 00:57:12,220 --> 00:57:15,260 Right, Matty, let's make this camp. 871 00:57:18,500 --> 00:57:21,340 POWER TOOLS BUZZ 872 00:57:21,380 --> 00:57:24,820 Right, let's go! 873 00:57:26,220 --> 00:57:27,660 Stop! 874 00:57:35,940 --> 00:57:38,700 By that boulder.We can't lose this! 875 00:57:43,340 --> 00:57:45,260 Try that. 876 00:57:45,300 --> 00:57:49,580 'Even though we were on fumes, I threw caution to the wind and went for it.' 877 00:57:52,460 --> 00:57:54,060 Ooh, gosh! 878 00:58:09,020 --> 00:58:11,060 You're gonna bust it.I'm not. 879 00:58:26,060 --> 00:58:27,540 Come on. Come on. 880 00:58:36,900 --> 00:58:38,980 I will not be beaten by a dog. 881 00:58:45,180 --> 00:58:48,420 'At last we were clear.' 882 00:58:48,460 --> 00:58:51,860 James, we're gonna do it! 883 00:58:54,860 --> 00:59:01,020 'All we had to do now was match the known bearings of the Pole with the readout on our satnav.' 884 00:59:03,460 --> 00:59:05,300 Left, left, left. 885 00:59:06,340 --> 00:59:08,900 Where are you? 886 00:59:08,940 --> 00:59:13,660 I expected a sort of shining beam of light coming from the Earth's core. 887 00:59:13,700 --> 00:59:17,580 I'll go in this direction...Yeah. 888 00:59:17,620 --> 00:59:21,060 Are you ready for it? Ready, ready, ready... 889 00:59:24,180 --> 00:59:26,260 Yes!That's it! 890 00:59:30,300 --> 00:59:32,860 It's here! 891 00:59:32,900 --> 00:59:36,020 It's here! 892 00:59:36,060 --> 00:59:39,420 Hammo-o-ond! 893 00:59:40,420 --> 00:59:42,100 PHONE RINGS 894 00:59:42,140 --> 00:59:43,300 Ooh, bugger! 895 00:59:43,340 --> 00:59:45,900 Matty, I'm off!Where are you? 896 00:59:48,060 --> 00:59:49,780 Hammond! 897 00:59:49,820 --> 00:59:51,340 Yes? 898 00:59:51,380 --> 00:59:53,380 We're at the North Pole. 899 00:59:53,420 --> 00:59:56,380 You've done it? We've done it. We're here. 900 00:59:56,420 --> 01:00:00,060 The truck got there?Yeah, the truck didn't fall through the ice. 901 01:00:00,100 --> 01:00:02,980 Presumably you're not very far away.No. No... 902 01:00:03,020 --> 01:00:06,420 Sorry, mate, wait. James wants a word. Hang on a sec. 903 01:00:06,460 --> 01:00:09,100 Oh, righto. 904 01:00:09,140 --> 01:00:11,940 Hammond?Yes, mate. 905 01:00:11,980 --> 01:00:14,220 Mate, bad luck. 906 01:00:16,260 --> 01:00:19,020 That was it, really. 907 01:00:20,060 --> 01:00:22,580 Oh... 908 01:00:24,620 --> 01:00:27,340 Can't be far. 909 01:00:32,780 --> 01:00:36,500 'As James tucked into his ruined Spam, 910 01:00:36,540 --> 01:00:40,060 'we thought a little bit about what we'd actually achieved.' 911 01:00:44,900 --> 01:00:49,100 I'd set out to prove that Polar exploration could be easy. 912 01:00:49,140 --> 01:00:53,900 But it isn't. It's brutal and savage. 913 01:00:53,940 --> 01:00:56,140 The fact is, though, 914 01:00:56,180 --> 01:01:00,100 that two middle-aged men, deeply unfit and mostly drunk, 915 01:01:00,140 --> 01:01:01,660 had made it, 916 01:01:01,700 --> 01:01:05,780 thanks entirely to the incredible machine that took us there. 917 01:01:07,860 --> 01:01:13,060 They'd said we'd never get to the Pole, because of the damage the car has already done to the ice cap. 918 01:01:13,100 --> 01:01:18,180 Perhaps, then, that's what we'd proved most of all, really - 919 01:01:18,220 --> 01:01:23,420 the inconvenient truth is it doesn't appear to have even scratched the surface. 72026

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