All language subtitles for Battle Creek S01E02 HDTV x264 AAC E-Subs [GWC]

I'm a senior detective with
the Battle Creek Police.

We are forced to make do substandard
and out-of-date equipment.

Great news. We're getting help.

Our loss... Battle Creek's gain.

Good riddance, you miserable sack...

Big smile, big laugh, you love
it here. Big smile, big laugh.

I love it here.

Detectives Russ Agnew.

Milt Chamberlain.

Hi.

He has asked to have
someone team up with him.

Me.

Why me?

I think you get lucky.

Not because you trust people

but because you're just
really good-looking, man.

Oh, thank you.

In my experience, when you trust people,

they-they trust you.

Have you actually met people?

You can't be a cop

and be this naive. It's just not possible.

I agree.

(thunder rumbling)

Oh, hey. Holly.

- Huh?
- Seriously, what, we can't afford water?

Well, the snack budget's
really tight, and, uh,

everybody's really tearing through

those single service coffee packets,

so, yeah, I had to make the hard call.

Milt: Back this way.

Easy with those... they're pricey.

Man: Where you want it?

Russ: Look at that.
Milt gets original art,

and we get counterfeit water.

Hey, Culligan Man.

- That's funny.
- Some hunters just found a dead guy

in the woods. In the rain.

Evidence recovery is gonna be a bitch.

You and Font go see if Milt's busy.

That's what the FBI

is here for, Russ, to help us.

(grunts)

- (sighs)
- Unbelievable.

Hey, psst.

What are you doing?

Guz said get Milt's help.

No, she said to see if he was busy.

Look at him.

That Minecraft world is
not gonna build itself.

Let's go. We got a murder to solve.

(thunder rumbles)

We live in Michigan,

where it rains, like, every other day.

How much can proper rain gear really cost?

Maybe it'll lighten up.

(lightning crashes, thunder rumbling)

He's got no bullet wounds
or stab wounds to the body.

He's got a small gash behind
the head, but it doesn't

appear to be a fracture, so...

a blow to the skull didn't
kill him. So what did?

If we could figure out who he is,
then we'll be halfway there.

You know what? If we need Milt
for that, then we're pathetic.

Milt: Eddie Floss.

Well, Edward, actually.

And, Russ, I don't think
you're pathetic at all.

What are you, a magician now?

Yeah, I did do some magic back
in high school, actually.

I saw you guys arguing outside my office

in the reflection of my iPad, so I asked

Commander Guziewicz what was going on.

She seemed to react angrily to that.

Anyway, she gave me directions to here.

And on the way out, I saw a
car stalled back up the way.

So I obviously stopped to help the driver.

Obviously.

Milt: But the car was abandoned.

So I looked inside and I...

I found this wallet in the glove box.

Whoa, whoa. Hold on a
second. Look at this.

Got a fine white froth coating his mouth.

This victim was drowned.

(thunder rumbling)

The wife did it. I mean it.

Isn't it always the spouse?

I mean... we should probably
get evidence and everything.

The victim was dragged to the
woods and tied to a tree, Niblet.

That's somebody trying to send a message.

I'm thinking this guy probably ran
with some bad dudes. He probably

- has a record, which could point us...
- No. He has

two traffic citations in the
last five years. That's it.

$1,400 in a savings account.
Paid his credit cards

off monthly. His last credit card purchase

was Emmett's Emmett Street Diner,

just after 7:00 p.m.
the night before last.

Sorry.

Funk, you and Niblet
head over to Emmett's,

see if we can find out
who our victim was with

- and if he left alone.
- Font: Drowned in a lake?

Or drowned in a pool?

The type of water in his lungs
could help us narrow down

where the attack took place.

Russ and Font, go talk
to the medical examiner,

see if she can differentiate what
kind of water was in the lungs.

Time is not your friend during
a homicide investigation.

Come on. Let's go.

Russ: Hey, buddy. Why are you
still sitting there? Come on.

If I stand up I'll puke.

I've got that spotty vision
thing real bad this time.

Means I'm gonna have a
debilitating migraine

in about ten minutes.

I'll power through it.

No, no, no. Don't be silly.

I know how bad a migraine can be.

Do you have...

drugs or anything that
you can take to help?

Yes.

You should go get them.

Russ and I will head down to the morgue.

He said he could power through.

The man needs his medicine, Russ.

Font: Thanks.

Look, if someone reaches out,

it doesn't make you lesser
to take their hand.

You want to hold my hand
now, Milt? Is that it?

No, metaphorically.

Bite me. Metaphorically.

Oh, okay. So I see.

Y-You're either too
prideful or too stubborn.

Or you just don't like me. Which is fine.

But you shouldn't let it get in the way

of accepting my help on your cases.

You're right.

On the other hand, I don't know you.

I don't know why you were sent here.
Because you won't tell me.

It's not that I don't like you, Milt.

I just don't trust you.

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Why is everything so low?

Better question:

- why are you so high?
- Oh,

I'm sorry. I didn't realize
you were a little person.

Don't apologize.

People apologize to me way too often.

- Sorry.
- Our M.E. Meredith here somehow convinced

the department to have
everything retrofitted

a few years back.

Hey, Mer, how much did that cost?

- About ten grand?
- 12. And I convinced them using

clever arguments like

"the law says,"

"don't make me sue you,"

or "kiss my tiny little ass, Russ."

Hey, look, I'm all for
civil rights, too, okay?

But I'm also for Tasers that actually tase

and proper rain gear

- and clean drinking water.
- We get it.

The department's broke
'cause I'm a little person.

No, the department's broke
because you're a stubborn

little person who refuses
to stand on a milk crate.

I'm sure that Meredith is
well worth whatever it took

to make her happy.

Hi.

From your demeanor and cheekbones,

I'm guessing that you're Milt.

The ladies upstairs were right.

If anything, they understated.

Hey, when you two are done, could you, uh,

please tell us what kind of
water this guy was drowned in.

(whirring)

This is odd.

What is it?

It's viscous.

(inhales)

Smells almost... sweet.

Guys, this isn't water.

I think your victim was drowned

in maple syrup.

♪ I might be gone right now ♪

♪ Check me out tomorrow ♪

♪ Eyes don't see when they're open ♪

♪ Please remind me to speak ♪

♪ I have fallen from the
steepest mountain ♪

♪ Broken heart, you think ♪

♪ It's just you ♪

♪ So please forgive me ♪

♪ I'm lost to be found ♪

♪ I'm lost to be found. ♪

MAN: Okay. Hawaiian Big Bud. 80 bucks.

This was $45 last time.

Well, you must've just gotten an
eighth, and we're all out of those.

So take a quarter, cut it
in half... you'll have two.

Look, man. These are prescriptions.

You go to your local Walgreens
and ask for half an Oxy?

Hell, you go to your local Wendy's

and ask for half a cheeseburger?

Our bud comes prepackaged.

You want it or not?

Russ: Holly, I need to notify

the next of kin. Do you have
that woman's contact info?

Uh, where's Font?

Uh, he went home early.
You know, migraines.

Oh.

Wait,

you don't think I can tell the
wife that her husband died?

I-I think usually Font does it.

I can be sensitive.

Okay. You know what, let's practice.

Okay. Pret-Pretend that I am her.

I've obviously been worried sick

all night 'cause my husband
has not come home.

Probably been crying, expecting the worst.

And then, uh, you knock,

a stranger, probably a cop.

- All right.
- (clears throat)

I-I open the door, filled with dread.

I am a total mess.

This-this may very well be the
worst moment of my entire life.

(sighs)

And then you say...?

Good afternoon. I'm Agent Chamberlain.

This is Detective Agnew. We
need to speak with Neysa Floss.

I'm her dad.

I assume this is about Eddie.

Hey, I'm Emmett. You wanted to
talk to me? How can I help you?

You had a patron here last night. His name

was... Edward Floss.

Was? Did-did something happen to Eddie?

He called me around 8:00 last night,

said he got in a fight with Emmett.

Said he wanted to cool down

before he came home.

But he never came.

(crying)

I wouldn't call it a fight, exactly.

It was more like Eddie
punching me a few times

- and me accepting the beating.
- What did you all

fight about?

Eddie sold syrup to Emmett.

A lot.

Until yesterday, when-when he told Eddie

that he had to switch suppliers.

That the cartel was putting
too much pressure on him.

Funkhauser: Cartel?

There's a maple syrup cartel?

I know. It sounds crazy.

But those guys are in charge
of all the distribution

of maple syrup in the entire Midwest.

Like OPEC for oil.

They poisoned my trees, cut my tubing,

physically assaulted me.

I was ready to just shut down. But Eddie

said he'd stand up to the cartel.

And he did.

Actually did great.

At first.

Built his own sugar shack in his
garage, got in new equipment.

The cartel wasn't happy
about me buying from Eddie.

I came into work one day,
and they smashed my window.

Eddie begged me to do the right thing.

I told him that sometimes the
wrong thing was the right thing.

Kind of went from there, and
ended up with him hitting me.

Okay, how do we know you didn't
follow him out after he hit you?

Look like a pacifist in
front of the customers

and then get your revenge

in the woods after?

Emmett didn't kill him, no way.

They've been friends since grade school.

I was in the E.R. getting these.

Look, I got beat up for being a coward.

Eddie got killed for being brave.

It was the head of that cartel.

Julio McFarland.

Julio McFarland.

Milt: Good afternoon, Your Honor.

We are here investigating the murder...

Aren't you Agent Chamberlain?

Yes, sir.

The guy who comes into town

and gets front-page headlines
on his very first case?

I wasn't looking to distract from...

I heard about you from Justice Scalia.

Hold on a second. Supreme
Court Justice Scalia?

Scalia said to watch out for you.

That he can't leave you alone
at the three-point line.

Said you were deadlier than
Ray Allen at that distance.

- (Milt laughs)
- What can I do to help you today, son?

Well, Your Honor, with regards

to the Eddie Floss murder investigation...

- You need a warrant? Give me a name.
- Uh, we'd like to search a storage

warehouse owned by Julio McFarland.

McFarland.

Makes his money in syrup.

Exactly what evidence

do you have that he was
mixed up in a murder?

The victim was drowned in
maple syrup, Your Honor.

And the victim's wife and
former business associate

have reason to believe that...

Hearsay.

We also have dozens of
complaints of intimidation...

Complaints? Any

actual convictions? Charges even?

- Well-well...
- Bring me

some actual evidence, and I'll reconsider.

(crickets chirping)

Why are you smiling?

Am I? I'm just wondering if this
is the first time you've ever

been turned down for something.

You do realize my failing
to get that warrant

affects you, too.

Oh, no, I'm upset about it.

But I'm a complex person,
capable of many emotions.

(distant car engine starting)

McFarland's coming out.

(gate rattles)

Hey, where are you going?

We need evidence.

I'm gonna go see what I can see.

You'd better see what you can see
from this side of the fence,

or anything you see won't be admissible.

I'm gonna go where I have to to see it,

and then I'll figure out how
to see it from back here.

Shh.

(rattling)

(barking)

Uh-oh.

(yells)

- Ow!
- Just stop squirming.

The doctor said to change
the dressing every

three hours, and I'm not
letting it get infected.

Emmett from Emmett's

Emmett Street Diner's story checks out.

He was in the... Dang!

Hey, you want to see the scar I got

when I laid my motorcycle down last year?

- Shaylene says it's hot.
- Yeah, well,

your fiancée and I have wildly
different ideas of what's hot.

Niblet: My wife has this amazing

anti-scar cream she used
for her C-section scars.

I think she still has half a
tube if you want the extra.

I'm never having children.

The car that dumped the body
drove past a traffic cam

at 12:40 a.m.

No good angle on the driver,
but I got plates on a semi

that drove through a couple minutes after.

This is good.

Everybody is working, gathering evidence.

Legally obtained,
court-admissible evidence.

McFarland killed a guy in that warehouse,

and if we don't get a warrant,
he's gonna get off free, okay?

I think we need to do a sting operation.

A sting?

We're still talking about syrup, right?

What if it was meth?

We'd go undercover and
make ourselves bait.

We'd pose as syrup suppliers,
new in town from Vermont.

And then we'd undercut the market

and move in on McFarland's turf.

That's what we'd do if it was meth?

We take away enough of
McFarland's business, he's gonna

hit back, and then we're
gonna have all the evidence

we need to get a warrant.

All we need is a bottle
of Log Cabin. I'll make

some taster samples for sales,

and then we'll deliver
a drum full of water.

Milt: That's foolish.

I saw the crowd from across the hall.

If we're going to put ourselves at risk,

we have to do this right.

We have to come to market with the purest,

highest-grade maple syrup on the street.

And then we have to actually deliver it...

Full barrels of it...

Or McFarland's gonna
know that we're trying

to deliver water before he makes

his move.

Yes.

We are talking about

maple syrup, but we're also
talking about a dead man.

Phil: I haven't fired up these machines

in over five years.

Even if I did, the
amount you're asking for

would take at least 30 days to make.

What kind of equipment would you need

to shorten that time
frame to, say, two days?

(indistinct chatter)

♪ Ain't nothing wrong
with this chemistry ♪

♪ Ain't nothing wrong
with this place for me ♪

♪ And time will tell if
there's the pedigree ♪

♪ Experience is another one made for me ♪

♪ So tell me now ♪
♪ Tell me now ♪

♪ And show me how ♪
♪ Show me how ♪

♪ To understand ♪
♪ Understand ♪

♪ What makes a good man ♪

♪ Good man ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Now I ain't tired of
swimming for blood and dirt ♪

♪ I ain't tired of swimming
for what it's worth ♪

♪ 'Cause lines get drawn and
lives get kicked and blurred ♪

♪ Indelible is what I
need to spread the word ♪

♪ And tell me now ♪
♪ Tell me now ♪

♪ And show me how ♪
♪ Show me how... ♪

That's the good stuff.

(knocking)

I need your sign-off on a lab test.

This isn't syrup.

What case are you working on?

Counterfeit drugs. No big deal.
Just need your signature.

Counterfeit drugs? That sounds
like a really big deal.

How'd you hear about that?

An informant.

Who?

A confidential informant.

Okay, it was me. I'm the informant.

You informed yourself?

I use medical marijuana to
help with my migraines.

It's always worked in the past,

but yesterday it didn't help.

I'm convinced that the new guy

at the dispensary is selling fake stuff.

So, you want to arrest someone
for not selling drugs?

Yes. Prescription drugs.

This is no different

than if somebody needed heart medication,

and the pharmacist gave them sugar pills.

Or if a-a diabetic was given
water instead of insulin.

Yup, I get it.

You need your pot.

(muffled laugh)

Holly: Hi.

How can I help you?

I got a call from Detective Agnew.

He asked that I gather
the insurance claims

from when my husband's
truck was vandalized.

Said to give them to Holly?

I'm Holly. Hi.

You must be Neysa Floss.

Sorry I'm being rude, sunglasses indoors.

Hey, why don't you come...
come sit down? Come on.

I feel so stupid.

Everything reminds me of him.

I can't get his voice out of my head.

It gets easier with time.

I was hoping I could...

get his wedding ring.

I wanted to put it on my chain,

keep him close to my heart.

I-I can't. It's evidence.

I'm sorry.

Hey, as soon as the case is closed...

(choked up): I understand.

(sniffs)

- Uh, I was just smoking this...
- What's in your hand?

I thought it was decriminalized...

Hey. Remember me?

You sold me fake pot.

Presumably so you could
pocket the real stuff

and sell it on the street.

We don't sell fake pot, Officer.

Detective.

Got an official lab report

right here that says you do.

Here's the deal we're about to make:

I get all your fake pot,

I get to come around here whenever I want,

make sure you're not
screwing anyone else over,

and you get to not go to jail.

No.

Your official lab report

says that what you tested was fake pot.

But you got a report that says

that what you tested is what I sold you?

Did you bag the pot as evidence
as soon as you bought it?

Or... did you maybe bring
it home and smoke it first?

How's your chain of evidence?

Guess it'll be the word
of a respected detective

against that of a little
pothead miscreant.

Actually, it'll be the
word of a stoner detective

against the word of a small entrepreneur

trying to eke out a living

in the downward-spiraling
economy of Michigan.

But go ahead.

Slap on the cuffs.

(indistinct conversations, music playing)

So why'd you step in and help me sell

this undercover sting to Guz?

It was a good idea.

You sure?

Or you just want me to owe you one?

You don't owe me anything.

You ever consider the possibility

that you not trusting me is a you problem?

No.

You're suspicious of
everyone you meet, Russ.

Why is that?

Did you get burned as a child?

Did your daddy run away?

Did your mommy not love you enough?

Wh-Whatever it is, you
should go to therapy

and work it out,

because I don't owe you anything, either.

Man: Hi.

I understand there's a problem?

Sir, your maple syrup

is watery and filled with impurities.

I believe I tasted
high-fructose corn syrup

and at least two preservatives.

I assume that McFarland is your supplier?

Please, if you don't like the waffles,

no charge. Sorry you didn't enjoy

- your meal.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,

hey, hey, pal, pal, pal.

Look around you.

I mean, this place is half
empty and it's the height

of the breakfast rush.

I can get you pure 100% maple syrup,

okay? High sugar content,

grade A,

uncut.

A topping just as good as your waffle.

Whoa, whoa, hey.

- It's a crepe.
- It's a crepe.

How was I supposed to know it's a crepe?

(groans)

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Just... Just put the gun down, man, okay?

You... You don't want...

(gunshots)

(engine starts)

(tires screech)

Hey.

You all right?

I got that guy's license plate.

We'll get that warrant.

Open up. Police. We've got a warrant.

Mr. McFarland, open up.

All right, let's go on three.

One, two...

FBI.

FBI.

It's clear.

(phone rings)

Hi.

Russ: We found 87 barrels
of syrup, but no McFarland.

That's because he's here.

Presumably, Judge Walters tipped him off

as soon as he issued the warrant.

You guys might want to get back.

I wanted to express my deepest
apologies in person for what

Larry did. He's very

passionate about protecting
our syrup interests.

Sometimes, well, he

takes things too far.

But he's very sorry.

- He's sorry for killing a man?
- I didn't kill

anybody, I just... shot your syrup.

He's working through some anger
issues with a counseling

program, not that that

- excuses what he did, but it...
- Hey, you know what?

You're gonna end up doing hard time

on behalf of a murderer.

I'm not a murderer.

And I certainly don't know anything

about the Eddie Floss killing.

You know, Agent Chamberlain over here...

He might be the most trusting

man on the face of the earth.

He doesn't believe you.

I do think it's possible he's innocent.

But you're definitely lying right now.

A man who defied the cartel is found dead

with syrup in his lungs, not
far from a syrup warehouse...

I mean, you certainly
know something about it.

I came down here

in good faith to make things right,

but if you're gonna sling
accusations, I would...

Why don't you sit down?
You're not going anywhere

until the lab tests come
back on your syrup,

- and then...
- (chuckles)

you're really not going anywhere.

You really need to test all this?

I mean, maybe break off a little bit?

For a bro?

- We're not bros.
- I know,

but it's not like I'm
an intern for you guys.

C.I.'s get some kind of

service fee.

This is evidence in a
criminal investigation.

Besides, you're wasting your
time, the stuff is fugazi.

Didn't smell fugazi to me.

Smelled... Idaho-ish.

What are you, a sommelier of pot?

One way to see if I'm right.

Nobody hears about this, okay?

Teddy: The only thing this is evidence of

is that this dude sells
some top-shelf bud.

Font: I don't get it.

Why would he sell you the
real stuff and scam me?

- (giggles)
- Damn.

I'm only guessing, and I'm quite high,

but I figure he only needs
to sell the fake stuff

like one in 20 times

to make a fairly rad living

and not attract suspicion.

So I'm the five percent?
He thinks I'm the chump?

(giggles)

Guess so.

Also guess you won't be needing this. Hey.

I have migraines.

(both laughing)

Font: Yeah, we're walking home.

Okay.

Yeah, uh... thank you.

None of the syrup recovered
from the warehouse

matches any of the syrup
found in Floss' lungs.

They didn't find any DNA, either.

(huffs)

♪ Been a long time, been a long time ♪

♪ Wrestled to the dirt, now
I'm back on my grind ♪

♪ I took a trip to the borderlines ♪

♪ Then I doused my head... ♪

Larry!

- (sighs)
- Okay.

Here's what I'm thinking... you...

are not smart.

You're not charming.

And you're not great looking, right?

I made bail.

Mr. McFarland hired me a lawyer.

You can't... do this.

What am I doing?

I'm just one guy sitting across

from another guy in a bar.

The one thing you got going
for you in this life

is that job.

I mean, working

for the richest, most
powerful man in town.

It's got to pay pretty well, yeah?

Pays better than you get.

Oh, yeah. I'm sure it does.

But at least my employer doesn't ask me

to give up my life for a year

while he sits in a mansion
and makes more money.

On the other hand,

you know, in all fairness,

great perks.

Am I right?

Wow.

Man, you you got a...

smoking hot girlfriend.

(meows)

Yeah, go ahead.

Try and punch me out.

But what are you gonna do about the next

47 guys that walk through that door

and hit on her while you're locked away?

Don't be McFarland's bitch.

Drinks are on me.

- Good morning.
- All: Morning.

- Hey, man.
- Hey.

Any word from McFarland's goon?

Agnew!

In here.

I'm in trouble, aren't I?

Yeah.

Well, you've missed an
exciting morning, Russ.

Judge Walters calling to ball me out.

The mayor's office threatening to launch

- an official inquiry.
- Aw, come on.

All I did was go talk to the guy.

I believe the word "stalking"
was used by his lawyer.

That's the guy that you
should be talking to.

We do this kind of stuff all the time.

No, not with people who
are connected like this.

Now, I've got to go to Judge
Walters and kiss his ass,

along with the mayor's chief of staff!

And I probably still won't be able

to get you reinstated
until this case is over.

Reinstated?

Are you... are you suspending me?

No, come on, come on, Kim...

Don't.

Russ, you screwed up.

I don't have a choice.

Russ?

What?

I'm gonna need your badge and your gun.

We all feel that Detective
Agnew's suspension

was completely unjust.

I mean, detectives of Battle Creek

have had their hands tied tightly enough

by lack of resources,

lack of staff...

Well, that's kind of the same thing.

Niblet: Oh, don't interrupt.

He memorized it. He gets messed up...

"Memorized"?

This is something you wrote down?

Uh, Shaylene helped. Anyway...

look, let me just start over, okay?

Uh, we all feel that Detective Agnew...

I'm sure it's a lovely speech.

And you can tell Shaylene that it almost

pushed me over the edge.

But my hands are tied on this.

We thought this might happen.

In which case...

- (clears throat)
- I feel that

with Detective Agnew's
unfortunate suspension,

I should step in and take lead on the case

- with Agent Chamberlain.
- Whoa, whoa! There's solidarity for you.

What, do you have a speech
for every occasion?

- Well...
- Guys! Guys?

Nobody's getting promoted to lead.

You are all working the case equally.

And I am sincerely moved how,

for 15 seconds, you all stood up for Russ.

Thank you.

(sighs)

Hi there.

Oh, hi!

I'm probably imposing,

but I was hoping I could
ask you one more favor.

You are not imposing.

Um, how can I help?

Do you know how long

until they release Eddie's body?

I need to plan the funeral.

I'm sure the medical examiner
is just being thorough,

but I will check with her.

And I will make sure
that he is transferred

to the funeral home as soon as possible.

You've been too kind.

In this place, you meet a lot of people

who deserve better than
what they've gotten.

Hey.

(knocking on door)

I screwed up, like, really bad.

Well, I assume you were suspended.

Come on in.

I'll set the player for two.

You want a beer?

Uh, no, uh, no, thank you.

Okay, uh, so, Edward Floss' wife came in,

and she cried right
through her foundation.

When the tear fell down I saw
that underneath her foundation

she had applied a concealer.

With a yellow base.

All right... that sounds really important.

Russ, no woman with her skin tone

would use a yellow-based concealer

unless she was trying to offset blue.

Like... covering up a bruise.

Oh, you think Floss hit her?

Yeah, and not just once.

I mean, her makeup was, like, good.

I mean, this is, this is someone who

has become way more sophisticated

than just slapping on some cover-up.

All right, well, so, uh,
there's, uh, there's a motive.

Uh-huh. But it's gonna take more

than makeup techniques to prove it.

Okay, so her husband had
this wedding ring...

It was an antique filigree...

Lost me again.

It's a really specific pattern, okay?

And the makeup was on the
right side of her face,

which means she was probably
hit with his left fist.

And that could mean that
there's a bruise pattern

which would be an exact
match to Eddie's ring.

All right.

Good, that's great.

So, we, um, we find her,
we wipe off the makeup...

This is the part where I screwed up.

Okay, um, a few days ago,

she asked me for her husband's ring back.

Holly, th-that's evidence,
you can't do that.

I know, I told her that,
okay? But she cried

and seemed so sad, and I...

The ring seemed so irrelevant to us.

So... I-I changed my mind.

Okay, I'm gonna take care of this for you.

How? You're suspended.

Exactly.

I'm not a cop anymore, I
don't need a warrant.

I'll break into the house,
I'll find the ring,

I'll steal it, I'll slip it back
into evidence where it belongs.

Russ, she's wearing it around her neck.

Okay, um...

Russ, I really think
there's only one way here.

Trust Milt.

(door opens)

(muttering)

Hey there, Russell.

I'm glad you're here.

So, I re-interviewed the widow,

which was unfortunately not helpful,

but I did start the process of...

Why are you staring at me like that?

Edward never went to
McFarland's warehouse.

He was drowned in a vat of
syrup in his own sugar shack.

His wife did it.

He was abusing her.

Do you have proof?

No legal records but plenty
of hospital records.

Broken ribs from "falling off a horse,"

eight stitches in the lip
from "slipping on the ice."

And that's just in the last six months.

We never searched his own sugar shack

because she was never a suspect

and she said that he never came home.

I guarantee you that the
syrup you find there

will match the syrup in his lungs.

I'll, uh, I'll go alert the papers

so they can get your photo ready.

W-Where did you come up with this theory?

Can't tell you that.

You're gonna pay me for a tip?

You were suspended from
the BCPD, not the FBI.

I'm hiring you as a consultant.

We should do this thing together.

For a dollar?

Neysa: Take as much time as you need.

I have to get back to packing,

I'm getting ready to sell the place.

Too many bad memories.

That makes sense since a lot
of those bad memories are

of your husband beating you.

What are you talking about?

Milt: I know you think you loved him.

But that isn't love.

No woman should ever feel
like she has to cover

for a man like that.

Whatever you think you know...

It's over.

He's gone.

So, you can stop being scared

and you can stop covering for him.

Come clean, Neysa.

The judge will go easy on you
given the circumstances.

None of this is true.

Here's the truth.

You were sick and tired of being a victim.

Right?

So, Eddie came home, he got drunk,

and he hit you.

And for the very first
time in your life, Neysa,

you hit him back.

Right here in this room.

You grabbed something off a
shelf, you hit him in the head.

He fell into the vat.

And then when you got scared

of-of what he might do in retaliation,

you held his head under the
syrup until he stopped moving,

so he could never, ever...

beat you again.

Eddie was a good man.

- He never meant...
- Phil: Stop!

She didn't do it.

I did.

Dad!

I started having suspicions

about the way Eddie was treating her,

so I confronted him.

It escalated.

Don't.

That's not true, none of that is true.

I'm the one who did it.

A father will do anything
to protect his daughter.

Guziewicz: Two confessions?

So one of them is lying.

She's lying.

People that take abuse
keep on taking abuse.

And she was half the size of her husband.

And backed into a corner.

Dad's just taking the
fall to cover for her,

just like he did when it happened.

She seemed sincere to me.

Everyone seems sincere to you,

because you're a gracious man.

Thank you, Russ.

You see?

You thought I was being sincere.

Look, even if she didn't kill him,

she's not just the victim here.

She tried to frame someone.

She made a lot of bad choices.

- She's long since paid the price.
- So, we'll just

- keep investigating until we find...
- (muttering)

We've got a dad who wants to go to prison

to protect his daughter; I say we let him.

I like that ending better.

Well, so she doesn't care about the truth?

She cares deeply about the truth.

But she cares even more about justice.

Bartender: Ah, again?

Come on, nothing's changed.

Medical marijuana's still
legal here in Michigan.

Yes, it is.

And you're absolutely right,

there's nothing local
authorities can do to stop you.

But, uh, he's not local.

Federal Agent Milton Chamberlain.

And while we are in Michigan,

and medical marijuana
is legal in Michigan,

we are also in the United States.

And medical marijuana is not
legal in the United States.

And as an agent of the federal government,

I have the right to confiscate
any and all marijuana

on these premises.

You can keep the fake stuff.

Look,

he's a buddy of mine,
and he listens to me.

I really don't want to have
to shut you down, but I will.

You know, the Justice
Department hasn't taken on

the individual states on this issue,

and I'm supposed to believe
that Dudley Do-Right here is

gonna be the guy to start a civil war?

Cause panic in the streets
of Seattle and Denver?

I don't think so.

He's right.

Let's go.

Actually, um...

Hey, you know what? I love this movie.

The, uh, the scene at the
beginning is my favorite.

D-Do you mind rewinding it
so I can show my buddy here?

(chuckles)

No, no, go to the very
beginning, before this.

Dude, this is the first scene.

No, it's not, come here.

Let me show you. Thank you.

Here we go, right here, this is the part.

Hmm... bummer.

This movie is licensed for
private home viewing only.

You just violated federal law.

That is a felony that can
get you up to five years.

And that is a law that
the FBI does enforce.

Fine, I'll give you the
stash of fake stuff.

I'm afraid we're a little past that point.

(thunder rumbling)

Hey, you want to grab a beer?

I should head home.

What's the rush?

Guziewicz: It's your lucky day.

You get reinstated, and you
get to put in for overtime.

Eight people just had
their headlights stolen

from their cars in the
high school parking lot.

Game just ended, nobody can drive home.

Grab Milt, go check it out.

(indistinct chatter)

Whoa, whoa, seriously?

Ah, come on, we got this.

(thunder rumbling)

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