Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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00:00:01,902 --> 00:00:02,969
(start-up chime sounds)
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00:00:02,971 --> 00:00:05,539
(man humming)
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00:00:05,544 --> 00:00:06,878
(groans)
4
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:08,480
(grunting)
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00:00:08,483 --> 00:00:09,717
(mouse clicks)
6
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:11,888
Hmm. Hmm.
7
00:00:11,892 --> 00:00:12,758
Hmm!
8
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:16,463
♪
9
00:00:16,469 --> 00:00:17,402
Hey, guys.
10
00:00:17,404 --> 00:00:20,006
It's your favorite
YouTube family vloggers:
11
00:00:20,010 --> 00:00:21,210
the Simpsons.
12
00:00:21,213 --> 00:00:23,080
Coinstar bought us a new house,
13
00:00:23,083 --> 00:00:26,419
and we're gonna give you
the grand tour.
14
00:00:26,425 --> 00:00:28,993
Come on in.
Take your shoes off first.
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00:00:28,997 --> 00:00:32,433
All 50 million of you. (laughs)
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00:00:32,438 --> 00:00:34,573
♪
17
00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:37,679
Now, we can't tell you
where the new house is located
18
00:00:37,684 --> 00:00:40,352
because we value our privacy.
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00:00:40,356 --> 00:00:43,491
Which you know if you watched
our last family therapy sesh
20
00:00:43,496 --> 00:00:46,932
where Marge begged me to stop
filming our therapy seshes.
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00:00:46,938 --> 00:00:48,672
Video link in bio.
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00:00:48,675 --> 00:00:50,276
This is my favorite room
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00:00:50,279 --> 00:00:53,848
because the kitchen is really
the heart of a home.
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00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,589
Also, because a robot cleans it.
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00:00:56,593 --> 00:00:57,593
And check it out.
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00:00:57,596 --> 00:01:01,432
The refrigerator
blends into the wall.
27
00:01:01,438 --> 00:01:05,341
No more tedious seeing your
refrigerator all the time.
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00:01:05,347 --> 00:01:08,651
Come on, we want to show you
our favorite room.
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00:01:10,927 --> 00:01:12,327
(grunting)
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00:01:12,330 --> 00:01:14,464
This is our screening room.
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00:01:14,467 --> 00:01:17,403
It's also where
we shoot our confessionals.
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00:01:17,408 --> 00:01:21,244
It's cool that Dad doesn't have
to work nine to five anymore.
33
00:01:21,250 --> 00:01:23,885
We just have to post
15 videos a day.
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00:01:23,889 --> 00:01:26,590
After homeschooling,
we're free to do fun kid stuff.
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00:01:26,595 --> 00:01:28,964
Zoom calls with
our fan club in Dubai,
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00:01:28,968 --> 00:01:31,002
giving Lamborghinis
to the homeless.
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00:01:31,006 --> 00:01:32,707
Sometimes I
just chill in my room,
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00:01:32,710 --> 00:01:35,578
recording Cameo messages
until my voice gives out.
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00:01:35,582 --> 00:01:36,949
(sucks on pacifier)
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00:01:36,952 --> 00:01:38,687
MAN: Huh.
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00:01:42,098 --> 00:01:43,798
(grunting)
42
00:01:43,801 --> 00:01:45,168
M'atchomaroon,
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00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:47,072
or "Hey, guys" in Dothraki.
44
00:01:47,075 --> 00:01:48,876
Today I'm doing a deep-dive
45
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,414
on the Internet's
current obsession,
46
00:01:50,416 --> 00:01:52,083
The Simpsons Family Channel.
Camera 2.
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00:01:52,087 --> 00:01:56,224
In case you've been living in a
tauntaun these past four months,
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00:01:56,230 --> 00:01:58,264
here's the video
that started it all:
49
00:01:58,268 --> 00:02:01,437
"Cute Baby Gets Stage Fright."
Let's take a look.
50
00:02:01,442 --> 00:02:02,909
♪ I have a duckie tail ♪
51
00:02:02,912 --> 00:02:05,547
♪ And a little duckie head ♪
52
00:02:05,551 --> 00:02:06,085
(crowd chuckles)
53
00:02:06,286 --> 00:02:07,486
♪ I quack around the park ♪
54
00:02:07,488 --> 00:02:10,090
♪ And I eat
the old man's bread ♪
55
00:02:10,095 --> 00:02:14,031
Maggie, remember
what we practiced.
56
00:02:14,037 --> 00:02:18,040
Poke Daddy's tummy
and kill the ants.
57
00:02:18,046 --> 00:02:20,047
♪ Honk, stomp, quack ♪
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00:02:20,051 --> 00:02:22,052
Shake your diaper,
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00:02:22,055 --> 00:02:24,090
touch the starfish,
60
00:02:24,094 --> 00:02:25,994
open your sandwich,
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00:02:25,997 --> 00:02:27,865
and Mick Jagger, Jagger, Jagger.
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00:02:27,869 --> 00:02:29,870
(crowd cheers)
63
00:02:29,873 --> 00:02:31,640
- (Homer shouts)
- (crowd gasps)
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00:02:31,643 --> 00:02:32,710
(crowd cheers)
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00:02:32,713 --> 00:02:33,347
No, don't!
66
00:02:33,448 --> 00:02:35,082
- (Homer gasping)
- (crowd gasping)
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00:02:35,085 --> 00:02:36,986
(crowd cheers)
68
00:02:36,989 --> 00:02:38,723
(crowd oohs)
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00:02:38,727 --> 00:02:41,229
(crowd laughs, cheers)
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00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:43,701
Best... origin story... ever.
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00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:46,039
It deservedly
got 20 million views,
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00:02:46,043 --> 00:02:49,479
and Homer launched a channel
all about the special bond
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00:02:49,484 --> 00:02:51,952
between himself
and the youngling Maggie.
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00:02:51,957 --> 00:02:53,124
(eating noisily)
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00:02:53,126 --> 00:02:54,727
(Maggie eats noisily)
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00:02:54,730 --> 00:02:57,433
(dog whines)
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00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:02,877
(vacuum cleaner running)
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00:03:05,288 --> 00:03:06,255
Say, Maggie,
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00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:09,459
do you think our viewers
could enter the code "Aw"
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00:03:09,464 --> 00:03:14,702
with 15 Ws for a discount
from Toy-Weasel.com?
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00:03:15,878 --> 00:03:16,979
HOMER:
Mmm.
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00:03:17,081 --> 00:03:19,749
The Internet fell in love
with the rest of the Simpsons
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00:03:19,753 --> 00:03:21,422
when they released...
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00:03:25,166 --> 00:03:29,636
♪ Everybody, yeah ♪
85
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:34,548
♪ Rock your body, yeah... ♪
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00:03:43,441 --> 00:03:45,576
(tires screeching)
87
00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:47,214
- (siren wailing)
- ♪ Now throw your hands up in the air ♪
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00:03:47,217 --> 00:03:49,752
Whoa, what's going on?
(shouts)
89
00:03:49,756 --> 00:03:51,089
(over radio):
♪ 'Cause we got it going on again ♪
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00:03:51,092 --> 00:03:52,960
WIGGUM:
Oh. I love this song.
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00:03:52,963 --> 00:03:55,631
♪ Am I sexual? ♪
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00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,636
♪ Yeah. ♪
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00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,408
MAN:
Hmm.
94
00:03:59,411 --> 00:04:01,412
- Hmm.
- (mouse clicks)
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00:04:01,416 --> 00:04:07,387
(theme song plays)
96
00:04:07,396 --> 00:04:08,430
(camera shutter clicks)
97
00:04:08,432 --> 00:04:09,799
Greetings, newshounds.
98
00:04:09,802 --> 00:04:13,938
Today, a retrospective on
The Simpsons Family Vlog.
99
00:04:13,944 --> 00:04:17,347
In case you've been living
in a grammar-rodeo boot camp
100
00:04:17,352 --> 00:04:18,385
these past four months,
101
00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:20,523
here's the video
that started it all.
102
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:23,427
(fast-forwarding)
103
00:04:23,432 --> 00:04:26,535
Soon each family member
had their own channel.
104
00:04:26,540 --> 00:04:28,507
Marge combined her
love of cooking
105
00:04:28,511 --> 00:04:30,479
and deeply personal questions
106
00:04:30,482 --> 00:04:32,983
for a groundbreaking
interview show.
107
00:04:32,987 --> 00:04:35,189
How you holding up, Krusty?
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00:04:35,193 --> 00:04:37,027
Ready for number four?
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00:04:37,031 --> 00:04:39,465
(groans) I'm not gonna lie,
110
00:04:39,469 --> 00:04:41,837
number three feels like
it's not done with me,
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00:04:41,841 --> 00:04:44,443
but my agent said
this is what talk shows are now,
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00:04:44,447 --> 00:04:46,481
so... (burps) bring it on.
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00:04:46,485 --> 00:04:48,887
MARGE:
Next up, The Coagulator.
114
00:04:48,891 --> 00:04:51,593
A tuna melt dipped
in funnel cake batter,
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00:04:51,597 --> 00:04:54,265
then fried in hot mayonnaise.
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00:04:54,270 --> 00:04:57,105
It clocks in at 300,000
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00:04:57,109 --> 00:04:58,943
on the Lethargo Scale.
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00:04:58,947 --> 00:05:01,649
Oh, I'm really regretting
all those bagels
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00:05:01,653 --> 00:05:03,955
I ate in the greenroom.
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00:05:05,730 --> 00:05:07,430
(shouts)
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00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:09,101
The grease
and the powdered sugar
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00:05:09,104 --> 00:05:12,306
are forming a paste
in the back of my throat.
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00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:15,280
Do you think your comedy
is fueled by rage
124
00:05:15,285 --> 00:05:17,719
towards your father
or towards yourself?
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00:05:17,723 --> 00:05:21,359
Well, I'd rather talk about
my new holiday movie,
126
00:05:21,365 --> 00:05:24,034
A Very Merry Bris-mas.
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00:05:24,038 --> 00:05:25,071
(gags)
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00:05:25,073 --> 00:05:28,208
Oh, the batter is in my lungs.
129
00:05:28,213 --> 00:05:31,849
Ow! Why is this a show?!
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00:05:31,855 --> 00:05:34,924
MARTIN:
And Bart took pranking to a whole new level
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00:05:34,929 --> 00:05:37,098
with The 'Gurt Squad.
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00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:40,305
(stifling laughter)
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00:05:40,308 --> 00:05:43,411
Can I sample
the strawberry yogurt?
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00:05:46,356 --> 00:05:48,924
Wait, I'm allergic to strawb--
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00:05:48,928 --> 00:05:50,495
(imitates vomiting)
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00:05:50,498 --> 00:05:52,133
('Gurt Squad laughing)
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00:06:05,967 --> 00:06:08,735
The Simpsons were
YouTube sensations,
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00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:11,042
and corporate America
lavished them
139
00:06:11,045 --> 00:06:12,612
with sponsorships and lucre.
140
00:06:12,616 --> 00:06:14,917
But Lisa used her newfound fame
141
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:18,022
to draw attention
to issues close to her heart.
142
00:06:18,027 --> 00:06:20,595
Hey, guys.
I'm here at Needle Beach,
143
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,968
super stoked
to start this clean-up
144
00:06:22,972 --> 00:06:24,573
because, as you can see,
145
00:06:24,576 --> 00:06:26,677
this beach
is pretty messed up.
146
00:06:26,681 --> 00:06:28,482
(gasps) What's that?
147
00:06:28,485 --> 00:06:31,287
Oh! Oh, you poor thing.
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00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:33,828
Luckily,
I always carry wire cutters.
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00:06:35,334 --> 00:06:37,870
♪
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00:06:39,276 --> 00:06:39,977
(mouse clicks)
151
00:06:42,517 --> 00:06:43,251
(mouse clicks)
152
00:06:43,419 --> 00:06:45,253
(distorted voice):
Attention, Internet.
153
00:06:45,256 --> 00:06:47,524
It is I, Truth Wizard.
154
00:06:47,528 --> 00:06:49,929
The Simpsons are not
who you think they are,
155
00:06:49,933 --> 00:06:52,702
and I can't let
these lies continue
156
00:06:52,707 --> 00:06:55,276
for even one more sec...
157
00:07:01,761 --> 00:07:04,496
...and I can't let
these lies continue
158
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,935
for even one more sec...
159
00:07:06,939 --> 00:07:09,507
LUANN:
Milhouse, why are you sitting in the dark?
160
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,113
You'll ruin your eyes.
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00:07:11,116 --> 00:07:12,349
Mom.
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00:07:12,351 --> 00:07:13,452
The doctor said your nose
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00:07:13,455 --> 00:07:14,855
can't support thicker glasses.
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00:07:14,858 --> 00:07:18,294
I'm recording a takedown.
Get out.
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00:07:18,299 --> 00:07:19,199
(door closes)
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00:07:19,201 --> 00:07:21,969
Okay, fine, it's me, Milhouse.
167
00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:26,244
I was the one filming
every Simpson family video.
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00:07:26,250 --> 00:07:27,450
Take your shoes off first.
169
00:07:27,453 --> 00:07:31,423
All 50 million of you. (laughs)
170
00:07:31,429 --> 00:07:33,497
Yo, camera-monkey, shoes off.
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00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:36,902
MILHOUSE: I saw firsthand how
the pressure to create content
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00:07:36,908 --> 00:07:39,243
- turned them into monsters.
- (Homer growls)
173
00:07:39,247 --> 00:07:42,482
- HOMER: Where the hell
is the refrigerator?! - (groans) Coming.
174
00:07:42,487 --> 00:07:44,121
(grunting)
175
00:07:44,124 --> 00:07:45,925
You have to tap it.
176
00:07:45,928 --> 00:07:48,630
(grunts)
Oh, who would want this?
177
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,469
- I'm getting a hammer.
- No.
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00:07:50,472 --> 00:07:52,808
You never let me get the hammer!
179
00:07:54,247 --> 00:07:56,816
Ew, your hand is so sweaty.
180
00:07:56,820 --> 00:08:00,456
Would you tell my scene partner
to be professional?
181
00:08:00,462 --> 00:08:03,063
MILHOUSE:
Uh, Bart? Lisa has a note...
182
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,067
Shut up, Milhouse.
183
00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:04,970
MILHOUSE:
Ow.
184
00:08:04,972 --> 00:08:06,139
And those cool
185
00:08:06,141 --> 00:08:07,174
'Gurt Squad friends
186
00:08:07,177 --> 00:08:09,679
that hype up
Bart's prank videos?
187
00:08:09,683 --> 00:08:12,117
Paid Spucklers.
188
00:08:12,121 --> 00:08:13,956
Hey, guys,
you don't have to go home
189
00:08:13,959 --> 00:08:15,926
just 'cause
we're done filming pranks.
190
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:19,700
Yeah, we was meaning
to ask you about that.
191
00:08:19,706 --> 00:08:22,808
How is what you do a prank?
192
00:08:22,813 --> 00:08:25,781
This just seems like
a mean-spirited waste of yogurt.
193
00:08:25,786 --> 00:08:27,921
Okay, we'll use pudding.
Great note.
194
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,925
Hey, you guys want
to jump on my trampoline?
195
00:08:29,929 --> 00:08:32,030
I'll take
the safety barrier down.
196
00:08:32,034 --> 00:08:36,070
We prefer to keep our
relationship professional.
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00:08:36,076 --> 00:08:37,744
I'll... pay you.
198
00:08:37,747 --> 00:08:39,214
(groans) Fine.
199
00:08:39,217 --> 00:08:41,919
Time and a half.
And a basket of eggs.
200
00:08:41,923 --> 00:08:43,124
Our hen is feeling poorly.
201
00:08:43,226 --> 00:08:46,428
MILHOUSE:
Even my off-again, off-again girlfriend Lisa
202
00:08:46,433 --> 00:08:50,570
fell prey to the siren's call
of Internet fame.
203
00:08:50,577 --> 00:08:53,779
What the hell is this?
This beach is spotless.
204
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:57,086
MILHOUSE:
Sorry, Lisa. We're on it.
205
00:08:57,091 --> 00:08:58,158
(grunts)
206
00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:01,462
Now where's this thing
I'm supposed to save?
207
00:09:01,468 --> 00:09:03,436
MILHOUSE:
Uh, Gil, how's it coming?
208
00:09:03,439 --> 00:09:05,006
I-I'm trying. Ow!
209
00:09:05,009 --> 00:09:08,044
This little fella's really
good at freeing himself.
210
00:09:08,049 --> 00:09:11,085
CREW PERSON:
That's a rented seal. Catch him.
211
00:09:11,090 --> 00:09:12,624
We're gonna lose our deposit.
212
00:09:12,627 --> 00:09:14,661
(both grunting)
213
00:09:14,665 --> 00:09:16,833
But let's take a look
at the relationship
214
00:09:16,836 --> 00:09:19,537
that started
this whole crazy ride:
215
00:09:19,542 --> 00:09:21,577
Homer and Maggie.
216
00:09:21,580 --> 00:09:23,714
We are so excited
to work with Maggie
217
00:09:23,718 --> 00:09:25,185
on this viral campaign for
218
00:09:25,188 --> 00:09:27,790
Nom-Noms 6:
European Nom-cation.
219
00:09:27,794 --> 00:09:29,962
We got Maggie's room all set up
220
00:09:29,966 --> 00:09:32,768
for the ultimate immersive
Nom-Nom experience.
221
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:35,741
Uh, one little hiccup.
222
00:09:35,746 --> 00:09:38,348
Maggie's terrified of Nom-Noms,
223
00:09:38,352 --> 00:09:39,819
especially the girl one.
224
00:09:39,822 --> 00:09:42,657
I'm not sure why.
Uh, Bart will do it.
225
00:09:42,662 --> 00:09:44,597
The yogurt kid? No way. No.
226
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,866
Either the Internet baby
goes in there,
227
00:09:45,869 --> 00:09:48,404
or you forfeit
all nom-pensation.
228
00:09:48,408 --> 00:09:51,844
So that's, uh, "nom"-negotiable?
229
00:09:51,849 --> 00:09:54,284
- (chuckles)
- That's not a real word.
230
00:09:54,288 --> 00:09:56,990
Maggie, there's
a cute baby bunny in there,
231
00:09:56,995 --> 00:10:02,033
so put this GoPro
on your head...
232
00:10:03,710 --> 00:10:05,378
Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom.
233
00:10:05,381 --> 00:10:06,714
(Maggie shrieks, cries)
234
00:10:06,716 --> 00:10:10,753
NOM-NOMS:
Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom- nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom...
235
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,894
(Maggie screaming)
236
00:10:12,897 --> 00:10:16,234
(Maggie crying)
237
00:10:16,673 --> 00:10:18,274
Oh...
238
00:10:22,987 --> 00:10:24,888
Maggie, I'm sorry.
239
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,326
(Maggie fussing)
240
00:10:26,329 --> 00:10:29,998
Poor Maggie. Although
I like the girl Nom-Nom.
241
00:10:30,003 --> 00:10:31,370
I like her a lot.
242
00:10:31,373 --> 00:10:34,342
I like the way her glasses
have eyelashes and...
243
00:10:34,347 --> 00:10:36,681
LUANN:
Milhouse, come do your ear drops.
244
00:10:36,685 --> 00:10:38,320
Mom!
245
00:10:40,694 --> 00:10:41,561
(mouse clicks)
246
00:10:41,563 --> 00:10:42,563
Hey, guys.
247
00:10:42,566 --> 00:10:44,867
Welcome to episode 751 of
248
00:10:44,870 --> 00:10:46,838
The Lenny and Carl Situation.
249
00:10:46,842 --> 00:10:49,443
Back with us
is our frequent guest Moe.
250
00:10:49,447 --> 00:10:51,048
You gonna behave today, Moe?
251
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,853
(chuckling):
Hey, don't cancel me, huh?
252
00:10:53,858 --> 00:10:56,026
Today we're talking about
the Simpson family,
253
00:10:56,030 --> 00:11:00,400
specifically "Super Dad"
himself, Homer Simpson.
254
00:11:00,406 --> 00:11:01,340
Guy's a phony.
255
00:11:01,442 --> 00:11:04,244
Full disclosure:
You go back five, six months,
256
00:11:04,248 --> 00:11:06,082
we were best friends
with the guy
257
00:11:06,086 --> 00:11:08,721
before he got famous
for those baby videos.
258
00:11:08,725 --> 00:11:11,794
Yeah, so many nights getting
blackout drunk with Homer.
259
00:11:11,799 --> 00:11:14,634
I don't remember him
mentioning that baby once.
260
00:11:14,639 --> 00:11:17,874
And I heard Maggie won't make
any more videos with him.
261
00:11:17,879 --> 00:11:22,049
What people been seeing
is all high-tech trickery.
262
00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:24,491
Intern Barney, play the clip.
263
00:11:28,471 --> 00:11:30,905
HOMER: Mmm.
264
00:11:30,909 --> 00:11:33,411
Oh, even fake Maggies
hate me.
265
00:11:33,415 --> 00:11:35,649
(laughing)
266
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:36,521
You know, I'm thinking about
267
00:11:36,789 --> 00:11:39,090
going on the all-peanut diet.
You heard about this?
268
00:11:39,094 --> 00:11:40,595
Supposed to be great
for the adrenals.
269
00:11:40,598 --> 00:11:42,899
You know, the Aztecs,
that's all they ate was peanuts.
270
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,904
Not like the crap we got today.
271
00:11:44,908 --> 00:11:47,676
Them ancient nuts,
they was full of that, uh, uh,
272
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,148
niacinnamonites. Yeah.
273
00:11:49,151 --> 00:11:50,384
'Cause of the sand they had.
274
00:11:50,387 --> 00:11:52,588
And they lived to be a hundred,
200 years old.
275
00:11:52,592 --> 00:11:55,294
- (man groans)
- MOE: Same thing with the Mayans and cashews...
276
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:56,566
MAN:
Uh-uh.
277
00:11:59,742 --> 00:12:00,542
(mouse clicks)
278
00:12:00,544 --> 00:12:01,644
Hey, guys.
279
00:12:01,646 --> 00:12:04,314
We know there have been
a lot of rumors going around.
280
00:12:04,319 --> 00:12:06,454
So we wanted
to formally announce
281
00:12:06,457 --> 00:12:08,825
that we'll be making
a formal announcement
282
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:11,030
tomorrow night on our livestream
283
00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:14,236
which will address
all the recent controversies.
284
00:12:14,241 --> 00:12:18,711
And we'll Cluck-Stop at nothing
to earn your trust back.
285
00:12:18,718 --> 00:12:19,818
(grunts)
286
00:12:19,821 --> 00:12:21,689
FRINK:
That was nine days ago.
287
00:12:21,692 --> 00:12:25,561
Nobody has seen or heard
from the Simpsons family since.
288
00:12:25,567 --> 00:12:28,402
Over the next two hours,
I will break down my theories
289
00:12:28,407 --> 00:12:31,943
on what might have caused
their dramatic disappearance
290
00:12:31,948 --> 00:12:35,551
on this special edition of...
291
00:12:35,557 --> 00:12:38,692
That's your cue.
This special edition of...
292
00:12:38,697 --> 00:12:39,931
Frinkileaks.
293
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:42,636
Now play
the suspenseful music.
294
00:12:43,842 --> 00:12:46,710
No, that's a latte macchiato.
295
00:12:46,715 --> 00:12:48,950
(suspenseful music playing)
296
00:12:48,954 --> 00:12:52,490
Well, you might as well
finish my coffee now.
297
00:12:52,496 --> 00:12:54,565
(grunting)
298
00:13:04,256 --> 00:13:08,793
Which brings us once again
to Snowball I,
299
00:13:08,799 --> 00:13:10,933
which... (groans)
300
00:13:10,937 --> 00:13:13,606
Marker fumes. Oh, my.
301
00:13:13,611 --> 00:13:16,179
Hoyvik! Blarvlagin! Ivy.
302
00:13:16,183 --> 00:13:17,583
(clears throat)
I apologize.
303
00:13:17,586 --> 00:13:21,222
Um... in summary, I have
concluded that the Simpsons
304
00:13:21,227 --> 00:13:24,530
are being held hostage
by a major tech company.
305
00:13:24,536 --> 00:13:27,304
Now, I cannot
say which one, but, um,
306
00:13:27,308 --> 00:13:30,611
follow the Google Doodles.
307
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:36,290
If, uh, you pause
right where the video glitches,
308
00:13:36,296 --> 00:13:38,430
you can see Homer
doesn't look human.
309
00:13:38,434 --> 00:13:42,070
More like an alien wearing
an ill-fitting human suit.
310
00:13:42,075 --> 00:13:43,309
Let me tell you something,
311
00:13:43,312 --> 00:13:46,113
Homer Simpsons has done more
for this country
312
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:50,187
than Dr. Fauci
and Dr. Pimple Popper combined.
313
00:13:50,194 --> 00:13:52,896
It's not his fault
he has a trash son
314
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,235
with a face
like a lunch bag, okay?
315
00:13:55,239 --> 00:13:59,041
Leave Homer Simpsons alone!
Leave him alone!
316
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:01,415
(enunciating):
Welcome back to Patty...
317
00:14:01,419 --> 00:14:03,153
(enunciating):
And Selma's...
318
00:14:03,156 --> 00:14:05,458
BOTH:
Tingle Palace.
319
00:14:05,462 --> 00:14:08,230
We were going to do part four
320
00:14:08,235 --> 00:14:11,938
of our scalp-delousing
role-play.
321
00:14:11,944 --> 00:14:13,878
(tines riffling)
322
00:14:13,881 --> 00:14:15,882
But, in light of recent events,
323
00:14:15,886 --> 00:14:19,122
we're going to tell you what
we think happened to our
324
00:14:19,127 --> 00:14:23,331
sister Marge Simpson.
325
00:14:24,639 --> 00:14:26,540
(scales rubbing)
326
00:14:26,543 --> 00:14:30,079
It's pretty obvious
that Homer snapped,
327
00:14:30,085 --> 00:14:31,986
ate the whole family.
328
00:14:31,989 --> 00:14:33,589
and is hiding on a houseboat,
329
00:14:33,592 --> 00:14:37,028
in a cloud of belches
that used to be his wife
330
00:14:37,034 --> 00:14:38,668
and kids.
331
00:14:38,671 --> 00:14:41,073
(grunts)
332
00:14:41,077 --> 00:14:42,510
(scraping)
333
00:14:42,513 --> 00:14:44,715
- (man shudders)
- (mouse clicks)
334
00:14:44,719 --> 00:14:47,253
Hmm... hmm.
335
00:14:47,257 --> 00:14:48,624
What's up, guys?
Today we had
336
00:14:48,627 --> 00:14:51,496
a whole cemetery parkour
segment ready to go,
337
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,335
but instead we've got
a big announcement.
338
00:14:54,340 --> 00:14:56,408
The location
of the Simpsons' mansion
339
00:14:56,412 --> 00:14:58,179
has always been super secret,
340
00:14:58,182 --> 00:14:59,616
but we figured out where it is.
341
00:14:59,619 --> 00:15:02,521
We found clues
in all their old videos.
342
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,594
We're talking
regional birdsongs,
343
00:15:04,597 --> 00:15:07,165
town-specific
ice cream truck jingle.
344
00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:09,238
But the clincher:
my mom's dating a guy
345
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,008
who got fired
from the post office,
346
00:15:11,012 --> 00:15:12,880
and he gave us their address.
347
00:15:12,883 --> 00:15:15,618
We're heading there tonight
to get some answers.
348
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,323
But first, parkour.
349
00:15:17,326 --> 00:15:18,960
Parkour. (grunts)
350
00:15:18,963 --> 00:15:20,030
Beloved husband!
351
00:15:20,032 --> 00:15:21,800
Angel-baby!
352
00:15:21,803 --> 00:15:24,071
Jewish guy! Parkour!
353
00:15:24,075 --> 00:15:25,442
- (mouse clicks)
- MAN: Eh...
354
00:15:25,445 --> 00:15:26,344
- Huh.
- (mouse clicks)
355
00:15:26,346 --> 00:15:28,448
Hey, guys, I'm Shauna.
356
00:15:28,452 --> 00:15:30,419
With a freaking exclusive.
357
00:15:30,423 --> 00:15:32,591
I found the Simpsons mansion.
358
00:15:32,594 --> 00:15:35,596
What the hell, Jimbo?
Did you tell her the address?
359
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,803
JIMBO:
Duh. She's my girlfriend. Hey...
360
00:15:39,643 --> 00:15:41,611
(grunting)
361
00:15:41,615 --> 00:15:44,150
MARTIN:
Martin Prince here, now embedded
362
00:15:44,154 --> 00:15:45,888
at the Simpsons family compound.
363
00:15:45,891 --> 00:15:49,260
SHAUNA:
We're about to get scooped, dumb-wads.
364
00:15:49,266 --> 00:15:53,436
Hey, guys, Simpsons...
(speaking gibberish)
365
00:15:53,442 --> 00:15:54,442
Like and subscribe.
366
00:15:54,444 --> 00:15:55,878
- PATTY: Hey, guys.
- COMIC BOOK GUY: Hey, guys.
367
00:15:55,881 --> 00:15:57,948
- SHERRI AND TERRI: Hey, guys.
- MOE: Hey, guys.
368
00:15:57,952 --> 00:15:59,553
(gasps) It's a vlog swarm.
369
00:15:59,556 --> 00:16:02,258
No, no, no. This is our content.
370
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:03,562
JIMBO:
Okay, okay.
371
00:16:03,565 --> 00:16:05,099
(Crazy Cat Lady
speaking gibberish)
372
00:16:05,102 --> 00:16:07,603
JIMBO:
But turn on that light.
373
00:16:07,607 --> 00:16:09,642
NELSON:
This way, come on.
374
00:16:09,646 --> 00:16:11,413
(all panting)
375
00:16:11,416 --> 00:16:12,917
Ha! Look at this.
376
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,755
They obviously left in a hurry
without their phones.
377
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,996
Shut up.
I can't hear myself Shauna.
378
00:16:20,069 --> 00:16:22,237
- Move out, people, let's go,
let's go, let's go. - Come on, guys, let's go.
379
00:16:22,241 --> 00:16:24,242
(gasps)
Huh?
380
00:16:24,246 --> 00:16:27,148
(all shouting)
381
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:28,119
- Hmm?
- What is this?
382
00:16:28,122 --> 00:16:30,022
(all grunt curiously)
383
00:16:30,025 --> 00:16:31,459
- (Simpsons gasp)
- I found 'em!
384
00:16:31,462 --> 00:16:32,896
Somebody get a pic!
385
00:16:32,899 --> 00:16:33,533
Bart, the door!
386
00:16:33,634 --> 00:16:35,836
- MARGE: Grab it!
- LISA: Get it!
387
00:16:38,278 --> 00:16:40,112
Welcome, Simpson family.
388
00:16:40,115 --> 00:16:43,718
So, nine days
in a panic room. Why?
389
00:16:43,724 --> 00:16:45,691
Well, Opal,
our house had been built
390
00:16:45,694 --> 00:16:48,530
by a company we partnered with
that, at that point,
391
00:16:48,535 --> 00:16:51,703
had only built NFTs of houses.
(chuckles)
392
00:16:51,708 --> 00:16:54,510
They installed
the panic room door backwards.
393
00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:56,883
You could get in,
but you can't get out.
394
00:16:56,887 --> 00:16:59,689
But how did you all
end up trapped there?
395
00:16:59,693 --> 00:17:03,196
Well, we'd been getting ready
for our redemption livestream,
396
00:17:03,202 --> 00:17:05,236
and we were all a little tense.
397
00:17:05,239 --> 00:17:07,440
So I went to the panic room,
where we stored
398
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,111
all of our sponsored crap,
399
00:17:09,114 --> 00:17:11,282
to get some
children's CBD gummies.
400
00:17:11,286 --> 00:17:13,555
But I was already in there
pounding 'em.
401
00:17:15,763 --> 00:17:19,066
MARGE: Then I ran in
and yelled, "Stop fighting.
402
00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:20,638
"You're going to sweat through
403
00:17:20,641 --> 00:17:22,842
your signature line
of slimming activewear."
404
00:17:22,846 --> 00:17:24,113
BART:
But when we tried to leave,
405
00:17:24,116 --> 00:17:25,250
it was locked.
406
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:27,152
LISA:
I said, "Nobody panic.
407
00:17:27,156 --> 00:17:29,124
There's got to be
a panic button."
408
00:17:29,127 --> 00:17:30,561
HOMER:
Then I walked in, saying,
409
00:17:30,564 --> 00:17:32,632
"Marge, I can't find
the fridge again."
410
00:17:32,636 --> 00:17:34,570
LISA:
We tried to grab the door.
411
00:17:34,573 --> 00:17:35,806
But it was too late.
412
00:17:35,809 --> 00:17:38,811
We were trapped,
and it was all Homer's fault.
413
00:17:38,816 --> 00:17:41,485
What? You said
it was nobody's fault.
414
00:17:41,489 --> 00:17:43,356
That's what
I'm supposed to feel,
415
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:45,027
but I'm not there yet.
416
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:47,766
LISA:
We survived on products we'd been shilling
417
00:17:47,770 --> 00:17:50,438
but had never
actually eaten before.
418
00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:52,477
Luckily, there was
also a huge supply
419
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,615
of single-use hat-toilets.
420
00:17:54,619 --> 00:17:57,354
Uh, I'm pretty sure
those were just hats.
421
00:17:57,358 --> 00:17:59,426
We didn't have any way
to post content,
422
00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:02,833
so we went through
pretty severe withdrawal.
423
00:18:08,384 --> 00:18:10,619
MARGE:
Then, sometime around day four,
424
00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:12,489
I said, "Where's Maggie?
425
00:18:12,493 --> 00:18:14,595
She was just here a second ago."
426
00:18:15,934 --> 00:18:17,935
I moved the table from the wall
and said,
427
00:18:17,939 --> 00:18:21,508
(gasps) "Oh, God. She must've
crawled in the vent."
428
00:18:21,513 --> 00:18:23,981
HOMER:
I said, "Maggie, come back."
429
00:18:23,986 --> 00:18:27,656
That I'd never force her
to do content ever again,
430
00:18:27,661 --> 00:18:30,429
that I wouldn't be
♪Daddy anymore,
431
00:18:30,434 --> 00:18:32,535
I'd just be Daddy.
432
00:18:32,539 --> 00:18:33,940
And then...
433
00:18:33,942 --> 00:18:36,410
LISA:
She'd been in the cabinet the whole time.
434
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:37,582
We were so relieved.
435
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:40,819
MARGE:
Then we realized how high up she was, and then...
436
00:18:40,824 --> 00:18:43,025
BART:
But Homer made an awesome catch.
437
00:18:43,029 --> 00:18:44,163
And Maggie barfed on him.
438
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,968
(chuckles)
Classic.
439
00:18:46,938 --> 00:18:50,274
MARGE:
After that, something strange happened.
440
00:18:50,279 --> 00:18:52,814
We started talking
to each other.
441
00:18:52,819 --> 00:18:55,621
BART:
Like texting with our mouths.
442
00:18:55,625 --> 00:18:57,125
LISA:
I'd almost forgotten
443
00:18:57,128 --> 00:18:59,796
I could L-O-L I-R-L.
444
00:18:59,801 --> 00:19:02,770
MARGE:
It felt like we were coming out of a trance.
445
00:19:02,774 --> 00:19:05,209
LISA:
The only subscribers we needed
446
00:19:05,214 --> 00:19:07,448
were in that room.
447
00:19:07,451 --> 00:19:09,352
Wow. Just, wow.
448
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:12,725
We're shutting down
the YouTube channel
449
00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:16,033
because "The Simpson Family"
isn't who we are.
450
00:19:16,039 --> 00:19:18,774
We are the Simpsons.
451
00:19:18,778 --> 00:19:21,413
We are completely offline now.
452
00:19:21,417 --> 00:19:23,217
I don't even check
email anymore,
453
00:19:23,221 --> 00:19:25,990
but that's mainly 'cause we
moved back to Evergreen Terrace,
454
00:19:25,994 --> 00:19:29,963
and our neighborino changed
his Wi-Fi passwordily-durdily.
455
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:31,503
Well, there you have it.
456
00:19:31,506 --> 00:19:33,841
A confusing, nonsense-word end
457
00:19:33,845 --> 00:19:36,413
to the meteoric rise and fall
458
00:19:36,418 --> 00:19:38,353
and disappearance
and reappearance
459
00:19:38,356 --> 00:19:40,357
and return to status quo
460
00:19:40,361 --> 00:19:42,462
for the family
the Internet could not
461
00:19:42,466 --> 00:19:44,767
get enough of
for almost half a year.
462
00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:46,571
Can we go look at your beehives?
463
00:19:46,575 --> 00:19:48,876
Nah, we're all done here.
464
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:52,149
Well, that's four hours
of my life I'll never get back.
465
00:19:52,154 --> 00:19:56,124
WOMAN:
George R. R. Martin, you better be working on that new book.
466
00:19:56,130 --> 00:19:57,563
I am.
467
00:19:57,566 --> 00:20:00,001
You said you would finish
it years ago.
468
00:20:00,005 --> 00:20:01,105
I'm gonna.
469
00:20:01,107 --> 00:20:03,842
They already made two TV shows
about it.
470
00:20:03,847 --> 00:20:07,050
I know that.
I went to the parties.
471
00:20:07,055 --> 00:20:10,090
No more parties until
you finish that book.
472
00:20:10,095 --> 00:20:11,595
I'm writing it right now.
473
00:20:11,598 --> 00:20:13,933
I'm... doing research.
474
00:20:13,937 --> 00:20:15,739
(typing)
475
00:20:17,278 --> 00:20:18,312
Oh.
476
00:20:19,383 --> 00:20:21,784
You did not just stick
your hands in the mint bowl.
477
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,722
Girl, use the spoon,
or I'm gonna have to
478
00:20:23,726 --> 00:20:25,694
kick your
Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Booty.
479
00:20:25,697 --> 00:20:27,398
Bitch, that is
an IHOP reference.
480
00:20:27,401 --> 00:20:29,035
- This is a Waffle House, mama.
- The Waffle House.
481
00:20:29,038 --> 00:20:32,006
♪ Waffle to the House, House ♪
482
00:20:32,011 --> 00:20:33,846
♪ Waf to the kach
to the House, how ♪
483
00:20:33,850 --> 00:20:36,251
- ♪ From the legendary
House of Waffle. ♪ - (chuckling)
484
00:20:36,255 --> 00:20:38,556
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
485
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,062
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
486
00:20:41,066 --> 00:20:43,935
and TOYOTA.
487
00:20:47,848 --> 00:20:51,819
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
488
00:21:30,211 --> 00:21:31,212
Shh!
489
00:21:31,262 --> 00:21:35,812
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35653
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