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1
00:03:01,553 --> 00:03:03,778
Boys, boys!
2
00:03:03,928 --> 00:03:08,930
Rabbi Jacob is leaving.
C'mon, lets go and say goodbye.
3
00:03:31,369 --> 00:03:33,276
Shalom, my friends.
4
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:41,698
- Have a safe trip.
- May you live in peace
5
00:03:42,079 --> 00:03:44,309
Have a "bon voyage"
6
00:03:44,676 --> 00:03:49,346
Reb Samuel, please, 30 years
since he was in in Paris, France.
7
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:53,565
- Please keep an eye out on 'mein' husband.
- Of course.
8
00:03:53,639 --> 00:03:58,514
'Rebbe', what I got for you
they never heard in Paris, France.
9
00:03:58,661 --> 00:04:00,746
One of my cheesecakes.
10
00:04:02,118 --> 00:04:05,896
Give it to David for a bar mitzvah present.
11
00:04:06,292 --> 00:04:09,482
Absolutely, absolutely!
12
00:04:14,309 --> 00:04:17,973
Hey mac, I don't have all day.
13
00:04:18,270 --> 00:04:20,965
- Let's go, huh?
- Yes my boy. Yes.
14
00:04:21,138 --> 00:04:24,394
Come with me to the airport, all of you.
15
00:04:36,271 --> 00:04:39,393
Hey, this is a taxi, not a synagogue.
16
00:04:39,485 --> 00:04:40,900
Ok, move over.
17
00:04:40,956 --> 00:04:45,152
Jacob, don't forget to give a
big kiss to our nephew Solomon.
18
00:04:45,221 --> 00:04:48,202
And also Esther and Tzippe and Moishe.
19
00:04:48,268 --> 00:04:50,931
I give, I give. All the Schmoll family.
20
00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:53,142
Jacob, you know what I want?
21
00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:56,630
I want more 'Je Reviens' perfume.
22
00:04:56,685 --> 00:04:57,958
Bye, bye.
23
00:04:58,076 --> 00:05:02,205
Ok, 'Je Reviens'. Je Reviens!
24
00:05:09,334 --> 00:05:12,324
♪ I will see my Normandy.
25
00:05:12,427 --> 00:05:14,780
♪ Dai dai dai
26
00:05:14,896 --> 00:05:20,672
No Samuel, not "dai dai dai".
It's French... France!
27
00:05:21,506 --> 00:05:24,284
♪ I will see my Normandy.
28
00:05:24,381 --> 00:05:27,936
♪ The land that gave life to me
29
00:05:38,361 --> 00:05:41,910
What's going on?
Will you hurry, please, driver.
30
00:05:41,987 --> 00:05:44,701
Hey, what do you want, miracles?
31
00:05:46,762 --> 00:05:50,428
Don't worry, Rabbi,
we'll catch your plane. C'mon!
32
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,913
Ready? One, two, three!
33
00:06:31,498 --> 00:06:34,487
You see my boy? That's a miracle.
34
00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:28,814
- Monsieur, may I take the wheel?
- You're a pain in the neck!
35
00:07:31,258 --> 00:07:33,260
Monsieur, watch out!
36
00:07:33,407 --> 00:07:37,242
What the hell's he doing
in the emergency lane?
37
00:07:39,873 --> 00:07:42,423
See that, an Englishman!
38
00:07:42,932 --> 00:07:46,016
I don't like the English. Do you?
39
00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:48,452
- Yeah.
- I don't.
40
00:07:48,964 --> 00:07:52,998
- Look, Solomon! - What?
- See, a Swiss and a German.
41
00:07:53,069 --> 00:07:55,389
- So?
- Swiss and German.
42
00:07:55,454 --> 00:07:58,061
This isn't France anymore!
43
00:08:02,234 --> 00:08:04,561
Now we're behind a Belgian!
44
00:08:04,608 --> 00:08:07,723
- Belgians!
- Why, don't you like Belgians, either?
45
00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:12,538
They pollute us, those Belgians!
Look at his exhaust. Belgian ehaust!
46
00:08:12,845 --> 00:08:16,390
Hold on, I'll pass him.
I'll 'tres-pass' him.
47
00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:35,991
Woah, woah!
48
00:08:38,148 --> 00:08:40,531
Look at that, Solomon. Look!
49
00:08:40,578 --> 00:08:42,282
Yeah. What?
50
00:08:42,346 --> 00:08:46,430
It's clean, quiet no smoke.
He's a Frenchman!
51
00:08:46,463 --> 00:08:47,829
Monsieur.
52
00:08:47,883 --> 00:08:50,642
Can't you line up like everyone else?
53
00:08:50,694 --> 00:08:53,586
Moron, cretin, cuckhold... meathead!
54
00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:55,999
Hear that? Now THAT'S French!
55
00:08:56,054 --> 00:08:58,568
In the emergency lane, too!
56
00:09:00,069 --> 00:09:04,721
- You got no shame!
- Woof... woof! Grr!
57
00:09:07,725 --> 00:09:10,103
Hey, are you finished?!
58
00:09:12,101 --> 00:09:15,444
- What is it?
- You can see, a wedding!
59
00:09:15,654 --> 00:09:19,802
I'm also marrying off my daughter.
Come on let me pass.
60
00:09:34,954 --> 00:09:38,815
- Did you see the bride?
- Yes. - She's black.
61
00:09:41,288 --> 00:09:45,132
Not cafe-au-lait, but black!
And he's white!
62
00:09:45,394 --> 00:09:46,806
So?
63
00:09:47,181 --> 00:09:49,596
He's white, she's black...
64
00:09:49,666 --> 00:09:51,342
Black. Oh, pfft!
65
00:10:11,138 --> 00:10:13,942
Hey, Solomon, c'mon!
66
00:10:14,279 --> 00:10:16,116
Yes sir, coming.
67
00:10:16,297 --> 00:10:19,707
Let me pass, my daughter's getting married.
68
00:10:19,717 --> 00:10:23,205
Ah, that's your daughter?
Congratulations.
69
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:27,075
No, she's not my daughter.
The bride's black!
70
00:10:27,550 --> 00:10:29,512
Monsieur, Monsieur!
71
00:11:07,532 --> 00:11:10,564
See that, Solomon? They have cars, now.
72
00:11:10,631 --> 00:11:12,709
Blacks in white Rolls!
73
00:11:12,771 --> 00:11:15,474
- It couldn't happen to you, Sir.
- What?
74
00:11:15,499 --> 00:11:17,952
Your daughter marrying a black man.
75
00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:22,117
- Waddaya mean by that?
- Monsieur is rather racist. - Racist?
76
00:11:22,171 --> 00:11:25,281
Moi?! Racist? Solomon! Racist?!
77
00:11:26,459 --> 00:11:29,707
Thank God Antoinette
is marrying a Frenchman
78
00:11:29,741 --> 00:11:33,188
A thoroughly white one.
Even a bit pale. Huh?
79
00:11:33,422 --> 00:11:36,383
- And pimply.
- How about that lisp?
80
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:40,397
He lisps, but he's rich, like me.
And Catholic, like everyone.
81
00:11:40,464 --> 00:11:44,702
Not everyone, Monsieur.
Me, for example, I'm Jewish.
82
00:11:48,182 --> 00:11:50,007
You're Jewish?
83
00:11:50,399 --> 00:11:53,186
How's that? Solomon is Jewish?
84
00:11:53,816 --> 00:11:55,848
Solomon is Jewish, oh!
85
00:11:55,998 --> 00:11:59,672
And my uncle Jacob, coming
from New York, is a rabbi.
86
00:12:00,081 --> 00:12:02,543
- But he's not Jewish?
- Oh, yes.
87
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:06,387
- Not your whole family?
- Oh, yes.
88
00:12:09,359 --> 00:12:12,328
Doesn't matter, I'll keep you on anyway.
89
00:12:14,923 --> 00:12:17,321
- That'll be Madame.
- We're late.
90
00:12:17,346 --> 00:12:20,869
- Monsieur's gonna get it!
- OK, enough of that!
91
00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:25,220
- Hello, Victor?
- Hello, Germaine...
92
00:12:25,553 --> 00:12:28,604
Let me explain!...Bla bla
93
00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:30,457
Bla, bla...
94
00:12:30,495 --> 00:12:34,181
Quiet, Victor! You're a liar,
a hypocrite, and a fake.
95
00:12:34,853 --> 00:12:38,060
You, be quiet too! If you wanna
marry my daughter tomorrow
96
00:12:38,085 --> 00:12:41,043
- I must finish you today.
- What? - Your crowns.
97
00:12:41,141 --> 00:12:43,878
How do I know for sure...
98
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:47,111
Shh! How do I know you
were alone in Deauville?
99
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,628
She's madly jealous!
100
00:12:48,669 --> 00:12:51,176
With good reason.
Monsieur, is such a hunk.
101
00:12:51,201 --> 00:12:52,087
Hello, Victor?
102
00:12:52,112 --> 00:12:54,491
I forbid you to hang up.
103
00:12:55,009 --> 00:12:58,389
Fine, wait. Wait now. Wait
104
00:13:02,853 --> 00:13:05,440
Damn! Watch the road!
105
00:13:07,065 --> 00:13:08,987
- Tell me, Germaine.
- Yes?
106
00:13:09,070 --> 00:13:11,256
- Did you know?
- Know what?
107
00:13:11,295 --> 00:13:13,616
- Solomon...
- What about Solomon?
108
00:13:13,663 --> 00:13:15,420
- Is Jewish.
- So?
109
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,174
The truck, the truck!
110
00:13:36,242 --> 00:13:38,453
Solomon? Solomon!
111
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,491
Hey, Solomon!
112
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,394
There he is.
113
00:14:25,238 --> 00:14:26,573
Garcon?
114
00:14:27,123 --> 00:14:29,625
A peppermint cordial.
115
00:14:38,264 --> 00:14:40,257
M. Slimane.
116
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:44,280
Telephone for M. Slimane.
117
00:14:44,954 --> 00:14:46,749
That's me.
118
00:14:59,406 --> 00:15:01,686
Booth 2, Monsieur.
119
00:15:09,439 --> 00:15:10,571
Hello?
120
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:13,438
- Mohammed Larbi Slimane?
- That's me.
121
00:15:13,476 --> 00:15:15,244
Nobody's meeting you.
122
00:15:15,345 --> 00:15:18,383
- You fell into our trap, Slimane.
- Who is this?
123
00:15:18,470 --> 00:15:21,485
- Fares is waiting in front of 'Les Deux Magots'.
- Fares?
124
00:15:21,510 --> 00:15:24,431
You're not getting out of here alive.
125
00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:27,603
And your revolution... *arkoum!
126
00:15:28,580 --> 00:15:29,931
Hello?
127
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,548
Hello!
128
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,101
In 30 seconds he'll come out.
129
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,249
He'll see me, and try to run out the back.
130
00:15:43,303 --> 00:15:46,641
Colonel we can't snatch him
in Saint Germain de Pres!
131
00:15:46,666 --> 00:15:49,284
- We had him earlier!
- Shut up!
132
00:15:50,415 --> 00:15:53,025
Hurry, go wait on the other side.
133
00:16:08,132 --> 00:16:09,664
Fares.
134
00:17:04,103 --> 00:17:05,648
Hurry!
135
00:17:05,773 --> 00:17:07,400
Drive.
136
00:17:22,697 --> 00:17:23,991
Hello?
137
00:17:25,361 --> 00:17:27,056
Hello? Hello!
138
00:17:27,145 --> 00:17:29,533
Mademoiselle, don't hang up
139
00:17:30,544 --> 00:17:31,897
Hello!
140
00:17:32,105 --> 00:17:33,793
Move, you!
141
00:17:33,875 --> 00:17:37,266
Arrange to send a tow truck immediately.
142
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:40,321
A tug boat, more likely.
143
00:17:40,835 --> 00:17:42,061
Help me!
144
00:17:42,111 --> 00:17:45,032
Pull! Don't make such a fuss.
145
00:17:45,157 --> 00:17:47,352
Hello, hello! What?
146
00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:50,352
A strike? That's all I need!
147
00:17:50,617 --> 00:17:53,998
- My factory' on strike.
- Me too. I'm on strike.
148
00:17:54,090 --> 00:17:56,141
I'm fed up, I've had it!
149
00:17:56,333 --> 00:17:58,708
What did you say? What? What?
150
00:17:58,823 --> 00:18:01,223
- Fed up!
- Take that!
151
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:05,399
Hello, I forbid them to strike, you hear?
152
00:18:05,687 --> 00:18:08,256
No! I'm telling you, no.
153
00:18:08,349 --> 00:18:11,133
Listen, just do as usual.
154
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:14,642
You promise everything, and I give nothing.
155
00:18:14,711 --> 00:18:16,845
Solomon, a car!
156
00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:18,353
Aah!
157
00:18:19,401 --> 00:18:21,322
Hey! Hey!
158
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:27,819
Hey, hey! Stop, stop.
159
00:18:34,048 --> 00:18:37,015
Punks, egoists, dirty bastards!
160
00:18:39,006 --> 00:18:40,994
Straight, then first on the left.
161
00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:43,587
The factory's at the end of the lane.
162
00:18:44,555 --> 00:18:48,455
Night is falling. We must
absolutely find a tow truck.
163
00:18:48,765 --> 00:18:50,400
- Solomon.
- Yes sir.
164
00:18:50,511 --> 00:18:54,019
Turn on the lights
so they can find us easier.
165
00:18:54,109 --> 00:18:56,034
- No, Sir.
- What?
166
00:18:56,074 --> 00:18:59,052
I'm not allowed to put the lights on.
167
00:18:59,158 --> 00:19:03,114
- Sir knows, I can't work on Saturday.
- But, it's Friday.
168
00:19:03,138 --> 00:19:06,106
For us Sabbath starts Friday at sundown.
169
00:19:06,175 --> 00:19:08,836
And on Sabbath I can't work.
170
00:19:13,078 --> 00:19:16,498
Let's go, my beloved, *♪ Lechah dodi,
171
00:19:16,582 --> 00:19:20,345
Let's go, to meet the bride,
♪ Lechah dodi, liqrat kallah
172
00:19:20,415 --> 00:19:24,596
let's welcome the presence of Shabbat
♪ p'nei shabat neqabelah
173
00:19:24,649 --> 00:19:28,534
♪ Lechah dodi, liqrat kallah
174
00:19:28,742 --> 00:19:31,898
♪ p'nei shabat neqabelah*
175
00:19:32,229 --> 00:19:36,148
Say, Solomon, can't you make
an exception tonight?
176
00:19:36,233 --> 00:19:39,029
I'll give you two Sabbaths off next week.
177
00:19:39,084 --> 00:19:41,730
Evidently, Sir doesn't know the tradition.
178
00:19:41,755 --> 00:19:46,091
I don't know any of your
pantomimes and I'm proud of it!
179
00:19:47,788 --> 00:19:50,234
Sir isn't allowed to eat meat on Friday.
180
00:19:50,298 --> 00:19:53,936
I'm not allowed to use electricity
Saturday. It's no dumber.
181
00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:56,899
- Yes it's dumber!
- No it's not dumber!
182
00:19:58,838 --> 00:20:01,203
- Yes it's dumber.
- No it's not dumber!
183
00:20:01,259 --> 00:20:03,965
I tell you it is, and give a week's notice!
184
00:20:04,011 --> 00:20:08,376
- Have your Sabbath every night!
- Fine, as Monsieur wishes!
185
00:20:10,234 --> 00:20:11,881
Get out!
186
00:20:17,632 --> 00:20:20,046
Gdd... dmmn... yyyou!
187
00:20:53,563 --> 00:20:56,573
St Anthony of Padua,
let me find a tow truck
188
00:20:56,629 --> 00:21:00,156
so I can fix my boat, my car,
and hire a new chauffeur.
189
00:21:00,204 --> 00:21:02,765
A Catholic one, this time, I promise.
190
00:21:02,834 --> 00:21:05,935
Catholic like you, like me, like God.
191
00:21:07,129 --> 00:21:08,936
Oh, a light!
192
00:21:09,221 --> 00:21:11,279
Thank you, St Anthony.
193
00:21:28,864 --> 00:21:30,826
Anybody home?
194
00:21:33,272 --> 00:21:35,358
Concierge?
195
00:21:43,247 --> 00:21:44,739
Woah!
196
00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:47,213
Madame?
197
00:21:48,087 --> 00:21:49,838
Madame!
198
00:21:53,028 --> 00:21:54,669
Anybody home?
199
00:21:54,694 --> 00:21:55,958
(Ohhh!)
200
00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:58,247
Oh yeah, there's someone!
201
00:22:08,713 --> 00:22:11,009
- (Ohhhh!)
- Aah!
202
00:22:13,621 --> 00:22:15,950
Aaahhh!!
203
00:23:14,864 --> 00:23:17,593
You'll end up talking, Slimane.
204
00:23:19,976 --> 00:23:22,264
What day? The coup d'etat.
205
00:23:22,301 --> 00:23:25,799
Which city? What time? Which regiment?
206
00:23:28,514 --> 00:23:30,849
The password, Slimane.
207
00:23:31,354 --> 00:23:33,576
You can murder me, Fares,
208
00:23:33,799 --> 00:23:37,064
but you can't pass yourself off as a judge.
209
00:23:53,312 --> 00:23:55,808
Ma t'Rhafeh! Slimane!*
210
00:23:56,399 --> 00:23:59,289
Halmatek! Smhat fik!*
211
00:23:59,314 --> 00:24:01,209
The people are with me.
212
00:24:01,295 --> 00:24:04,447
Yes, but power is at the end of a gun.
213
00:24:04,513 --> 00:24:06,413
Mao Tse Tung!
214
00:24:11,505 --> 00:24:13,925
Mohammed Larbi Slimane,
215
00:24:14,759 --> 00:24:18,867
as a president of
this counter-revolutionary tribunal,
216
00:24:19,993 --> 00:24:23,789
I find you guilty of treason.
against our government
217
00:24:23,847 --> 00:24:26,815
- An toum houm el khawana!
- Habess!*
218
00:24:26,948 --> 00:24:30,661
- An toum houm el khawana!
- Oun ta put.*
219
00:24:30,814 --> 00:24:32,677
What's this mumbo-jumbo?
220
00:24:32,732 --> 00:24:34,483
Khawana!
221
00:24:37,736 --> 00:24:40,312
Gentlemen, your verdict.
222
00:24:44,799 --> 00:24:46,429
Death!
223
00:24:48,104 --> 00:24:51,689
Talk, Slimane, and
your life will be spared.
224
00:24:51,769 --> 00:24:56,494
A revolution is like a bicycle.
If it doesn't move forward, it falls.
225
00:24:56,685 --> 00:24:58,852
Eddy Merckx. (Belgian cyclist)
226
00:24:58,877 --> 00:25:01,142
No, Che Guevara.
227
00:25:31,658 --> 00:25:33,097
Oh!
228
00:25:36,107 --> 00:25:38,178
Sh, sh...
229
00:25:39,751 --> 00:25:41,119
Sh.
230
00:26:00,546 --> 00:26:02,796
The police... 17?
231
00:26:20,590 --> 00:26:23,378
Now then, the police is 22...
232
00:26:23,490 --> 00:26:25,005
17
233
00:26:36,921 --> 00:26:38,342
Aziz.
234
00:26:41,397 --> 00:26:43,827
- Hello?
- Hello, police?
235
00:26:43,864 --> 00:26:45,233
Yes.
236
00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:49,606
- G-Get me the commissioner. Hurry.
- This is the commissioner.
237
00:26:49,676 --> 00:26:53,864
Come immediately to the
Yankee chewing-gum factory.
238
00:26:53,942 --> 00:26:56,875
- Chewing-gum?
- Yes, chewing-gum...
239
00:26:58,260 --> 00:27:00,456
And, who are you, sir?
240
00:27:00,488 --> 00:27:02,926
Victor Pivert. Manufacturer in Paris
241
00:27:02,968 --> 00:27:06,395
- Pivert?
- Pivert. Like the green woodpecker.
242
00:27:12,733 --> 00:27:16,773
- I'm listening.
- I had a car accident.
243
00:27:16,921 --> 00:27:18,502
I was looking for help
244
00:27:18,548 --> 00:27:22,206
when I ran into a gang of Wogs
trying to kill each other.
245
00:27:22,300 --> 00:27:24,902
Wogs, you know, with brown faces.
246
00:27:25,314 --> 00:27:27,680
Where are you now?
247
00:27:27,742 --> 00:27:30,780
Here, in the factory office. Voila.
248
00:27:31,891 --> 00:27:35,797
Do not move. We're on our way.
249
00:27:36,024 --> 00:27:38,860
V-v-very nice of you.
250
00:27:41,416 --> 00:27:42,860
Hurry!
251
00:27:46,028 --> 00:27:49,711
Tell me M. Pivert;
the Wogs, did you see them?
252
00:27:49,766 --> 00:27:54,123
I sure I did! Especially a fat
oily one with his curly hair,
253
00:27:54,304 --> 00:27:57,829
and his tiny cruel eyes
and black sun glasses.
254
00:27:59,091 --> 00:28:00,955
A real killer's face!
255
00:28:01,033 --> 00:28:03,338
Let them settle their scores.
256
00:28:03,385 --> 00:28:07,080
Fine! There'll be fewer of them.
But not in our land.
257
00:28:07,135 --> 00:28:10,195
- Where are they?
- Right here!
258
00:28:28,762 --> 00:28:30,747
Smash the door! *Kasser elbab!*
259
00:28:33,246 --> 00:28:35,004
Aaahh!
260
00:28:38,905 --> 00:28:40,417
I got him!
261
00:29:31,858 --> 00:29:33,570
Hey, hey!
262
00:29:34,022 --> 00:29:35,453
Hurry!
263
00:30:29,704 --> 00:30:31,790
Aaahh!
264
00:30:51,915 --> 00:30:53,345
Allez!
265
00:31:47,626 --> 00:31:48,876
He escaped!
266
00:31:48,909 --> 00:31:51,837
Couldn't help it, Colonel.
*Ou ana helech*
267
00:31:53,150 --> 00:31:54,795
Pivert, Victor Pivert.
268
00:31:54,820 --> 00:31:57,431
Black Citroen DS, number 438ZA75.
269
00:31:57,463 --> 00:32:00,714
- At the river. 3 or 4 Kms.
- Are you coming?
270
00:32:00,770 --> 00:32:04,832
No, he fired me.
For all I care, he can run home.
271
00:32:09,883 --> 00:32:11,296
Ah!
272
00:32:38,260 --> 00:32:39,847
There he is!
273
00:33:25,466 --> 00:33:27,099
*Ha houwa! Ha!
274
00:34:04,595 --> 00:34:08,353
- What are you doing here?
- Shut up and don't move.
275
00:34:08,435 --> 00:34:12,799
- I must return to my country and you're gonna help me.
- Me?! Oh...
276
00:34:23,215 --> 00:34:26,855
Pivert, Victor Pivert,
he just shot two men.
277
00:34:27,434 --> 00:34:29,660
Yes, a car on a boat.
278
00:34:29,772 --> 00:34:32,564
Put out an APB immediately!
279
00:34:34,027 --> 00:34:35,610
Europe flash.
280
00:34:37,509 --> 00:34:40,393
Mohamed Larbi Slimane,
famous 3rd World leader,
281
00:34:40,418 --> 00:34:43,274
kidnapped yesterday in Paris,
is still missing.
282
00:34:43,299 --> 00:34:48,119
Meanwhile grave events in his
country have cut all communication.
283
00:34:48,184 --> 00:34:50,434
All France is following this story...
284
00:34:50,533 --> 00:34:52,469
Let me call the police.
285
00:34:52,649 --> 00:34:55,886
- They'll arrest Fares and let you go home.
- Police?!
286
00:34:55,911 --> 00:34:58,924
They'll deliver me to our
government's 'maramouches'.
287
00:34:58,949 --> 00:35:00,554
- Maramouches?
- Killers.
288
00:35:00,579 --> 00:35:02,184
- Fares?!
- Colonel Fares.
289
00:35:02,230 --> 00:35:05,964
- So, everybody's against you?
- No, the people are with me.
290
00:35:06,042 --> 00:35:09,899
- And you can't lie to the people all of the time!
- Sure, you can! Easily.
291
00:35:09,924 --> 00:35:13,066
In my factory I lie to the people all day.
292
00:35:13,260 --> 00:35:16,175
They love being lied to. "The people!"
293
00:35:16,902 --> 00:35:18,982
We'll sweep out all that filth!
294
00:35:19,037 --> 00:35:23,014
If I can return tonight,
tomorrow, I'll be Prime Minister.
295
00:35:23,170 --> 00:35:24,834
Prime Minister?
296
00:35:25,014 --> 00:35:28,990
I'm so happy to shake
a Prime Minister's revolver.
297
00:35:29,296 --> 00:35:31,436
So much for petroleum!
298
00:35:31,949 --> 00:35:34,175
Oh! No more gas.
299
00:35:34,576 --> 00:35:36,326
I have to stop.
300
00:35:45,088 --> 00:35:47,225
What can he be doing?
301
00:35:48,017 --> 00:35:49,600
Where can he be?
302
00:35:49,699 --> 00:35:53,673
- What's wrong with you today?
- My daughter's getting married.
303
00:35:53,715 --> 00:35:55,804
I'm open just as a favour to you.
304
00:35:55,845 --> 00:35:59,607
- You call this a favour?
- Open your mouth and be quiet.
305
00:36:00,471 --> 00:36:04,392
Yes, M. Pivert's car?
Yes we placed the call.
306
00:36:07,094 --> 00:36:08,356
- Madame?
- Yes.
307
00:36:08,381 --> 00:36:10,914
Hurry, Monsieur is on the phone.
308
00:36:12,113 --> 00:36:14,431
Oh, hey, hey!
309
00:36:15,448 --> 00:36:18,551
Clamp down hard! I'll be two minutes.
310
00:36:19,738 --> 00:36:20,989
Hello.
311
00:36:21,309 --> 00:36:22,738
Hello!
312
00:36:25,426 --> 00:36:28,075
- Don't answer.
- It must be my wife.
313
00:36:28,154 --> 00:36:31,820
She's jealous, if I don't answer,
she'll track me down.
314
00:36:31,903 --> 00:36:35,616
Fine, but one false move and...
315
00:36:38,962 --> 00:36:43,141
- Hello. Is that you, Germaine?
- It's 11 AM.
316
00:36:43,271 --> 00:36:48,168
I've been expecting you, between cavities.
Where'd you spend the night?
317
00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:52,045
- Say you're spending the weekend with a woman.
- Oh, no, I beg you.
318
00:36:52,103 --> 00:36:56,154
- You're taking the plane with me!
- I couldn't. - Go on! - Nuts!
319
00:36:56,215 --> 00:37:00,121
Germaine, I'm taking off
in a plane with a woman.
320
00:37:00,208 --> 00:37:04,299
- A woman? Are you crazy?
- Yes! Crazy about her.
321
00:37:04,377 --> 00:37:08,632
- What's she got that I don't?
- What's she got? She's got, haha...
322
00:37:09,761 --> 00:37:12,283
She's git big hairy hands,
323
00:37:12,393 --> 00:37:14,234
big feet...
324
00:37:14,413 --> 00:37:17,955
she has curls all over,
and a big moustache.
325
00:37:18,010 --> 00:37:19,578
What?!
326
00:37:19,714 --> 00:37:22,736
Be convincing! She must believe you.
327
00:37:22,893 --> 00:37:25,813
Yes I love her because
she doesn't get seasick,
328
00:37:25,854 --> 00:37:28,482
no grease on her face, no hair-curlers
329
00:37:28,529 --> 00:37:30,139
no steel reinforced bra.
330
00:37:30,164 --> 00:37:33,249
I love the way she sings,
rubbing my back for hours,
331
00:37:33,274 --> 00:37:36,335
telling me I'm an athlete.
that I'm handsome,
332
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,400
and that I'm 1.80 meters tall. Voila!
333
00:37:38,448 --> 00:37:41,444
Who is she? What's her name?
334
00:37:41,581 --> 00:37:44,492
What's her name? What's-her-name.
335
00:37:44,947 --> 00:37:46,878
- Say any name!
- Yeah...
336
00:37:47,027 --> 00:37:48,246
Ah!
337
00:37:48,306 --> 00:37:51,808
- Therese Leduc.
- Therese Leduc is 65 years old!
338
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,383
Exactly. She's loved me for 30 years,
339
00:37:54,408 --> 00:37:57,952
has never called me on the
phone and left me in peace.
340
00:37:58,141 --> 00:38:00,071
- Did you see that?
- What?
341
00:38:00,096 --> 00:38:01,739
I hung up, this time.
342
00:38:02,210 --> 00:38:06,778
Odile, I'm off to Orly, my husband
is there. Tell my daughter to wait.
343
00:38:06,886 --> 00:38:09,352
Pardor Madam. Pivert wedding?
344
00:38:09,524 --> 00:38:11,887
Yes, put it there, lad.
345
00:38:39,175 --> 00:38:42,799
Sorry, sir, the doctor isn't
receiving patients today.
346
00:38:42,901 --> 00:38:46,282
Police Commissioner Andréani.
M. Pivert, please.
347
00:38:46,368 --> 00:38:49,265
M. Pivert isn't here. What is it about?
348
00:38:51,248 --> 00:38:55,787
Don't worry. Mme. Pivert went
to meet her husband at Orly.
349
00:38:55,888 --> 00:38:58,280
She'll be back in two hours.
350
00:39:00,476 --> 00:39:04,663
To Orly Airport! Hurry, we gotta
nab him before he flies off.
351
00:39:05,919 --> 00:39:08,799
- Hurry up.
- One minute, Monsieur.
352
00:39:17,366 --> 00:39:19,409
That's 57 francs, Monsieur.
353
00:39:21,177 --> 00:39:23,815
Monsieur. What was your speed?
354
00:39:23,957 --> 00:39:25,594
What... eighty?
355
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:28,812
That's 57.
356
00:39:29,305 --> 00:39:32,859
- Shall I check the oil?
- No need, it's fine, thanks.
357
00:39:33,368 --> 00:39:35,266
Thank you, Monsieur.
358
00:39:35,637 --> 00:39:38,435
- Got your papers?
- Yeah, sure.
359
00:40:05,979 --> 00:40:08,973
- What'd you do?
- Me? Nothing.
360
00:40:11,032 --> 00:40:15,026
- Taking the piss out of me or my colleague?
- Oh, both!
361
00:40:15,065 --> 00:40:17,314
No Officer, neither one.
362
00:40:17,375 --> 00:40:20,555
Yes, I'm taking the piss out both of you!
363
00:40:21,631 --> 00:40:23,245
Turn a bit.
364
00:40:23,331 --> 00:40:26,034
- What's that?
- Where?
365
00:40:26,439 --> 00:40:29,784
- A wart.
- A wart? Oh!
366
00:40:30,869 --> 00:40:34,440
- Aww, that's not nice!
- I think it looks fine.
367
00:40:34,525 --> 00:40:37,331
Oh, no. Quite ugly...
368
00:40:37,876 --> 00:40:41,805
Look, two huge hairs sticking out.
369
00:40:41,995 --> 00:40:44,099
- Yeah?
- Doesn't it hurt?
370
00:40:44,124 --> 00:40:45,886
- No.
- It doesn't?
371
00:40:45,921 --> 00:40:47,761
And if I do this?
372
00:40:50,178 --> 00:40:53,795
That's gotta hurt, dammit, huh?
373
00:40:53,998 --> 00:40:57,004
What's this about? Papers, now!
374
00:40:57,082 --> 00:41:00,138
I always drive without them.
No drivers license,
375
00:41:00,216 --> 00:41:03,582
no grey slip, no sticker, no insurance.
Arrest me.
376
00:41:03,661 --> 00:41:06,511
- You'll pay dearly for that.
- Arrest me.
377
00:41:06,623 --> 00:41:10,263
- What's your name?
- Pivert. Like the woodpecker.
378
00:41:25,778 --> 00:41:27,385
Fill'er up?
379
00:41:29,951 --> 00:41:32,068
Step on it, it's Fares!
380
00:41:32,181 --> 00:41:34,232
That's enough. Get out.
381
00:41:34,582 --> 00:41:36,458
Put it in first!
382
00:41:41,478 --> 00:41:43,579
*Teba, teba. Hou, hou!
383
00:41:52,798 --> 00:41:54,842
*(expletives)
384
00:42:25,309 --> 00:42:29,512
Ladies and gentlemen we are
arriving at Paris Orly airport.
385
00:42:29,607 --> 00:42:31,013
It's 11:25...
386
00:42:31,069 --> 00:42:34,784
Please, gentlemen sit down
and fasten your seatbelts.
387
00:42:34,824 --> 00:42:36,394
Sit down, Samuel (ENG)
388
00:42:36,448 --> 00:42:39,680
- My French family is waiting for me below.
- I see.
389
00:42:39,734 --> 00:42:42,306
- I came for the bar mitzvah.
- Interesting.
390
00:42:42,369 --> 00:42:45,439
The communion, of my nephew, little David.
391
00:42:45,563 --> 00:42:47,499
He's already thirteen.
392
00:42:49,245 --> 00:42:50,908
Ah, Samuel.
393
00:42:53,251 --> 00:42:56,944
David, don't start your nonsense.
Go there and be quiet!
394
00:42:58,778 --> 00:43:01,300
Mom, how will we recognise uncle Jacob?
395
00:43:01,325 --> 00:43:05,170
No one's seen him except
grandma Tzipe and she can't see.
396
00:43:05,225 --> 00:43:07,259
Waddaya mean I can't hear?!
397
00:43:07,330 --> 00:43:11,762
To honor Uncle Jacod we shoulda got
Solomon to drive him in his boss' car.
398
00:43:11,772 --> 00:43:14,481
He can't. He got canned yesterday.
399
00:43:14,590 --> 00:43:18,101
- What?
- His boss fired him yesterday.
400
00:43:18,177 --> 00:43:23,600
I always said M. Piverte
is a very nice man!
401
00:43:27,039 --> 00:43:30,344
Don't push! Why must I bring my case?
402
00:43:30,369 --> 00:43:33,854
- 'Cause we're both going.
- No, you go do your revolution
403
00:43:33,864 --> 00:43:36,203
I'll go marry off my daughter.
404
00:43:36,242 --> 00:43:39,221
If things get ugly, you can serve
as my hostage. Move!
405
00:43:45,206 --> 00:43:49,102
Arriving from Frankfurt, flight AF-741,
406
00:43:49,274 --> 00:43:51,165
gate 45.
407
00:44:01,024 --> 00:44:03,194
No funny faces or you're dead.
408
00:44:03,283 --> 00:44:05,923
- I never pull funny faces!
- Stop it!
409
00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:08,515
- Look at him. Look!
- What?
410
00:44:08,606 --> 00:44:10,447
The security guard.
411
00:44:10,665 --> 00:44:12,987
He's huge. I'm puny.
412
00:44:13,344 --> 00:44:16,049
That's a proper hostage!
413
00:44:41,716 --> 00:44:44,443
- What is it?
- See that? - What?
414
00:44:44,489 --> 00:44:46,731
- She's a redhead.
- So?
415
00:44:49,639 --> 00:44:51,474
Be good baby.
416
00:44:55,951 --> 00:44:58,826
How lovely! Cute.
417
00:44:59,242 --> 00:45:00,794
Whoops!
418
00:45:01,547 --> 00:45:03,577
What's his name?
419
00:45:10,513 --> 00:45:12,357
Do you have a light?
420
00:45:18,735 --> 00:45:20,911
Of course he has a light!
421
00:45:27,452 --> 00:45:29,171
Take that!
422
00:45:29,643 --> 00:45:32,125
You think that's funny, imbecile?
423
00:45:32,165 --> 00:45:33,594
Imbecile!
424
00:46:04,988 --> 00:46:06,431
There it is!
425
00:46:06,525 --> 00:46:09,219
The plane from New York just landed.
426
00:46:09,282 --> 00:46:11,217
Hurry, you're too slow!
427
00:46:11,276 --> 00:46:13,736
We have time, it won't fly away.
428
00:46:13,783 --> 00:46:15,344
Hurry!
429
00:46:16,809 --> 00:46:19,217
- David, come here.
- Hurry up.
430
00:46:19,256 --> 00:46:20,912
Look, cheri!
431
00:46:20,962 --> 00:46:23,850
Look, there he is. It must be him.
432
00:46:23,928 --> 00:46:26,767
Jacob, uncle Jacob!
433
00:46:27,210 --> 00:46:29,831
Where is Jacob? I don't see him.
434
00:46:30,001 --> 00:46:33,721
That's the wrong direction.
Look down there!
435
00:46:38,483 --> 00:46:40,599
Passenger Pivert...
436
00:46:41,523 --> 00:46:43,442
Passenger Pivert.
437
00:46:44,072 --> 00:46:49,720
Would M. Pivert, come to
the information counter!
438
00:46:49,798 --> 00:46:53,196
- They're here.
- Arkoum, Slimane and Pivert.
439
00:46:55,268 --> 00:46:59,004
Division chief! Good timing.
They just paged Pivert.
440
00:46:59,079 --> 00:47:01,693
Block the exits and let's go!
441
00:47:01,757 --> 00:47:04,271
But, careful, he's a killer!
442
00:47:04,418 --> 00:47:06,778
Please, Mlle, try again.
443
00:47:07,269 --> 00:47:10,042
Would passenger Piver...
444
00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:13,857
Victor, come back. Victor!
445
00:47:17,415 --> 00:47:19,775
- Victor!
- Oh my god it's Germaine!
446
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:22,486
It's your wife calling. I beg you.
447
00:47:22,538 --> 00:47:26,225
Shut up and tell me
where you are! Germaine?
448
00:47:28,306 --> 00:47:29,886
Germaine?
449
00:47:32,541 --> 00:47:34,473
I forgive you, Victor.
450
00:47:34,544 --> 00:47:38,552
Don't leave with Thérèse Leduc
on your daughter's wedding day.
451
00:47:38,629 --> 00:47:40,553
Victor, do you hear me?
452
00:47:40,944 --> 00:47:42,725
Victor, do you hear me?
453
00:47:42,805 --> 00:47:47,099
Yes, I hear you.
Not so loud, I'm coming.
454
00:47:47,506 --> 00:47:49,184
My microph...!
455
00:47:49,264 --> 00:47:54,255
Your husband's not leaving YOU
for Therese Leduc. Gimme that!
456
00:47:59,745 --> 00:48:02,027
- Germaine.
- Victor!
457
00:48:02,140 --> 00:48:05,563
- Victor!
- Gimme the mike, I have an announcement.
458
00:48:05,626 --> 00:48:09,563
I have one too. And more
important than yours.
459
00:48:28,874 --> 00:48:31,677
Oh, it's you! I thought
it was a 'maramouche'.
460
00:48:31,709 --> 00:48:33,960
- Is Fares here?
- Yeah, he wants to...
461
00:48:34,007 --> 00:48:38,249
- C'mon!
- Wait, let me look first.
462
00:48:58,996 --> 00:49:01,138
- Open up!
- No!
463
00:49:05,047 --> 00:49:08,281
- Open!
- There's no one here.
464
00:49:09,399 --> 00:49:12,821
- Open, I say!
- I can't, it's occupied.
465
00:49:13,729 --> 00:49:16,231
- Open.
- Hear that?
466
00:49:18,213 --> 00:49:21,539
Sir, is your friend sick?
467
00:49:22,262 --> 00:49:24,203
Can we help?
468
00:49:26,286 --> 00:49:28,492
It seems, you can.
469
00:49:53,406 --> 00:49:55,971
Lowlife! Get out!
470
00:51:14,815 --> 00:51:17,979
Me, as a rabbi. It's really the limit!
471
00:51:18,943 --> 00:51:20,807
Wait.
472
00:51:33,386 --> 00:51:34,915
Jacob!
473
00:51:35,697 --> 00:51:37,306
Jacob!
474
00:51:39,526 --> 00:51:41,196
It is him!
475
00:51:42,228 --> 00:51:43,720
Jacob!
476
00:51:47,024 --> 00:51:48,570
Uncle Jacob!
477
00:51:49,788 --> 00:51:51,078
Uncle Jacob!
478
00:51:51,148 --> 00:51:53,240
Dear, let me shalom him too.
479
00:51:53,342 --> 00:51:55,289
- Shalom.
- Shalom.
480
00:51:55,430 --> 00:51:59,647
- SHALOM! (What now?)
- (Play along. It is our only chance)
481
00:51:59,766 --> 00:52:02,497
I'd recognise him among thousands.
482
00:52:02,522 --> 00:52:06,211
Spitting image of his brother,
my husband, bless his soul.
483
00:52:06,281 --> 00:52:10,324
- Is he also a Schmoll?
- A schmoll?
484
00:52:10,408 --> 00:52:12,293
Yes, who is he, uncle?
485
00:52:12,348 --> 00:52:13,676
Yes, he's right.
486
00:52:13,701 --> 00:52:17,610
He asked who he is and deserves an answer.
487
00:52:17,648 --> 00:52:19,282
You asked about him?
488
00:52:19,337 --> 00:52:22,400
He's my secretary, chauffeur and porter.
489
00:52:22,483 --> 00:52:24,060
Take my suitcase.
490
00:52:24,213 --> 00:52:27,448
- What's his name?
- Him, up there?
491
00:52:27,494 --> 00:52:32,330
His name is Larbi Rabbi mm... Slimann.
With 'mann' on the end.
492
00:52:32,401 --> 00:52:34,244
Seligmann!
493
00:52:34,333 --> 00:52:38,306
- Rabbi Seligmann. Enchantee.
- Madame.
494
00:52:38,393 --> 00:52:39,969
Come, Jacob,
495
00:52:40,010 --> 00:52:42,670
Tell me, how are they all in New York?
*Sag mir wie geht es alles in New York?
496
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:45,352
And what's the whole family doing?
Und was macht die ganze mischpokhe?
497
00:52:45,362 --> 00:52:47,310
- Geht, geht?
- Geht, geht!
498
00:52:47,335 --> 00:52:49,212
- Ja, ja?
- Ja, ja!*
499
00:52:51,023 --> 00:52:53,166
Why don't you have a beard?
500
00:52:53,219 --> 00:52:56,422
I lent it to someone who didn't have one.
501
00:52:56,597 --> 00:53:01,620
That Seligman is not just anybody.
A rabbi who is a chauffeur!
502
00:53:01,817 --> 00:53:05,870
Jacob, you have a funny accent in French.
503
00:53:06,034 --> 00:53:07,779
- You think?
- Yes, yes.
504
00:53:07,833 --> 00:53:10,202
You've become a real American.
505
00:53:10,262 --> 00:53:14,386
- You want I should teach you good French?
- Yes, yes, yes.
506
00:53:14,478 --> 00:53:19,873
I know a good exercise.
Pronounce the names of fuhz.
507
00:53:19,975 --> 00:53:21,342
Fuzz?
508
00:53:21,397 --> 00:53:25,118
- Coats made from fuhz.
- Ah, furs!
509
00:53:25,179 --> 00:53:27,245
- Try.
- Yes.
510
00:53:34,708 --> 00:53:36,926
Mink.
511
00:53:38,473 --> 00:53:41,178
Chinchilla.
512
00:53:41,278 --> 00:53:43,363
Musket rats.
513
00:53:47,684 --> 00:53:50,426
- The fox.
- Fox?
514
00:53:50,591 --> 00:53:52,787
The silver fox.
515
00:53:52,887 --> 00:53:56,325
- The panther.
- The painter.
516
00:53:56,994 --> 00:53:59,972
No, no, no, panther... the animal.
517
00:54:00,064 --> 00:54:02,119
Panther. Dit, dit, dit...
518
00:54:02,214 --> 00:54:03,870
Grrr!
519
00:54:05,145 --> 00:54:06,981
Very good, Jacob!
520
00:54:07,763 --> 00:54:10,650
- Madame Pivert?
- That's me.
521
00:54:11,197 --> 00:54:14,772
Police. Your husband
is waiting in his car.
522
00:54:14,851 --> 00:54:16,545
My Victor!
523
00:54:16,619 --> 00:54:20,379
I knew, at the last minute,
he'd change his mind.
524
00:54:20,404 --> 00:54:22,913
But, police?! Why?
525
00:54:23,636 --> 00:54:28,113
- M. Pivert is in a real mess.
- Therese Leduc, I knew it!
526
00:54:28,316 --> 00:54:30,214
C'mon, let's go!
527
00:54:39,163 --> 00:54:41,599
Where's Victor? Hey, let go of me!
528
00:54:41,695 --> 00:54:44,295
- Get in!
- It's an ambush!
529
00:54:45,601 --> 00:54:47,241
Officer!
530
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:51,132
Mme Pivert, which way did she go?
531
00:54:51,210 --> 00:54:54,052
I dunno! That way, or the other way.
532
00:54:54,095 --> 00:54:57,274
- I can't watch everybody!
- Exactly, watch everybody!
533
00:54:57,284 --> 00:54:59,149
- Commissioner!
- Yeah!
534
00:54:59,196 --> 00:55:03,118
We found two rabbis,
tied and gagged, in the toilets.
535
00:55:03,203 --> 00:55:06,279
- Two rabbis?
- They stole their clothes and shaved them.
536
00:55:06,311 --> 00:55:09,031
- Who did it?
- A big guy with black hair.
537
00:55:09,077 --> 00:55:12,446
- And a short bald guy, with blue eyes.
- Pivert, again!
538
00:55:12,515 --> 00:55:15,561
- It might be...
- Slimane? Sure! Hurry!
539
00:55:25,841 --> 00:55:29,481
Excuse me, this is a celebrity.
Excuse me.
540
00:55:29,662 --> 00:55:32,705
Get in, uncle Jacob.
I'll buy the tickets.
541
00:55:34,439 --> 00:55:35,986
Go ahead.
542
00:55:40,691 --> 00:55:42,362
You're very kind.
543
00:55:42,423 --> 00:55:43,799
And...
544
00:55:43,824 --> 00:55:47,925
you're the best looking Jew
I've seen, in a long time.
545
00:55:47,950 --> 00:55:50,261
Pretty eyes, lovely teeth!
546
00:55:50,293 --> 00:55:53,808
Come, let me kiss you. You're so cute!
547
00:55:55,501 --> 00:55:59,205
- You too, Mme Schmoll, must've been a knock-out.
- Ahh!
548
00:55:59,261 --> 00:56:01,923
Do you know how many marriages I arranged
549
00:56:01,948 --> 00:56:04,406
on Rue des Rosiers? 43!
550
00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:06,265
118 children.
551
00:56:06,354 --> 00:56:08,742
2 ½ children per couple.
552
00:56:09,217 --> 00:56:11,870
- Are you married?
- No.
553
00:56:12,011 --> 00:56:16,183
What do you like in a girlfriend,
blondes, brunettes?
554
00:56:16,402 --> 00:56:18,549
- Redheads.
- I have!
555
00:56:18,659 --> 00:56:22,719
30 years away from Paris,
and nobody comes to meet me!
556
00:56:22,795 --> 00:56:27,679
- Maybe they didn't get your telegram.
- 8 telegrams, I sent. Eight!
557
00:56:28,155 --> 00:56:30,989
They must have got one!
558
00:56:35,068 --> 00:56:37,810
- You see the violin case?
- Yes Chief.
559
00:56:37,896 --> 00:56:40,732
And what's inside a violin case?
560
00:56:41,124 --> 00:56:42,809
Um... ♪ La-la, la-la...
561
00:56:42,905 --> 00:56:46,179
No, imbecile! A... t-t-t-t...
562
00:56:47,358 --> 00:56:50,003
Cover me. I'm going in.
563
00:56:53,334 --> 00:56:56,389
Hmm... The address is
'8 Rue des Rosiers'.
564
00:56:56,468 --> 00:56:59,725
Now, I need to find the phone number.
565
00:57:02,974 --> 00:57:05,013
My respects, Grand Rabbi.
566
00:57:05,085 --> 00:57:08,723
Ah, Samuel, I told you they'd come get us?
567
00:57:08,773 --> 00:57:10,952
Police. Commissioner Andreani.
568
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:14,279
- The Police!
- A great honour!
569
00:57:14,342 --> 00:57:18,248
It's not every day I meet two,
such sought after, rabbis.
570
00:57:18,312 --> 00:57:21,803
Bless you my son.
May the Eternal be with you.
571
00:57:21,881 --> 00:57:23,856
Don't touch my violin.
572
00:57:23,936 --> 00:57:27,691
- Don't take me for a fool, Pivert.
- Piverte?!
573
00:57:27,929 --> 00:57:29,309
Say...
574
00:57:29,389 --> 00:57:33,444
that's some patriarchal beard you glued on!
575
00:57:34,705 --> 00:57:36,487
- May I touch it?
- Oi!
576
00:57:36,741 --> 00:57:38,483
Oi!
577
00:57:38,965 --> 00:57:40,574
Excuse me, sir...
578
00:57:53,583 --> 00:57:55,230
- Solomon!
- Yeah?
579
00:57:55,270 --> 00:57:58,445
- Telephone, in your room!
- Coming!
580
00:58:03,865 --> 00:58:05,280
Hello.
581
00:58:05,498 --> 00:58:06,936
Who?
582
00:58:07,350 --> 00:58:09,092
Uncle Jacob?
583
00:58:09,537 --> 00:58:12,636
No, it's Solomon. Did you
have a good voyage?
584
00:58:12,682 --> 00:58:16,379
No, I did not have a good voyage.
I had a very bad voyage!
585
00:58:16,433 --> 00:58:18,457
- Where are you?
- At Orly!
586
00:58:18,519 --> 00:58:20,501
30 years I haven't been to Paris
587
00:58:20,526 --> 00:58:22,342
and the police picks up!
588
00:58:22,380 --> 00:58:24,213
It's all in order, Chief.
589
00:58:24,262 --> 00:58:27,334
- Excuse us, it's an error.
- Thanks.
590
00:58:27,444 --> 00:58:29,545
What's with you people?!
591
00:58:29,585 --> 00:58:33,645
Uncle Jacob, I don't understand.
There must be an error.
592
00:58:38,156 --> 00:58:42,419
It's Rabbi Jacob in the taxi.
Come down Solomon!
593
00:58:46,477 --> 00:58:48,188
What the?
594
00:58:48,843 --> 00:58:52,437
Listen, you on the phone,
stop being a jerk!
595
00:58:52,530 --> 00:58:55,727
- Jerk?
- Today, of all days, really!
596
00:58:55,821 --> 00:58:57,330
Imbecile!
597
00:58:58,501 --> 00:59:00,346
Long live Rabbi Jacob!
598
00:59:00,409 --> 00:59:02,610
Solomon's 'gone crazy'!
*is geworden meshugge
599
00:59:02,642 --> 00:59:05,573
- 'Totally crazy', Rabbi.
- Jerk. *Ganz meshugge
600
00:59:05,883 --> 00:59:08,916
Shalom, uncle Jacob, shalom!
601
00:59:12,745 --> 00:59:15,553
You should bless them, uncle Jacob.
602
00:59:17,451 --> 00:59:19,951
That's why they came, you know.
603
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:23,387
Such modesty. He's a modist!
604
00:59:26,073 --> 00:59:27,725
Stand up, uncle Jacob.
605
00:59:27,750 --> 00:59:30,302
They wanna welcome you. Go on.
606
00:59:30,472 --> 00:59:33,140
Stick your head outside.
607
01:00:10,629 --> 01:00:13,797
Not like that.
Do you think you're in Rome?!
608
01:00:17,130 --> 01:00:18,661
It's all your fault.
609
01:00:18,711 --> 01:00:21,825
Wait till I tell them who you are.
You'll see!
610
01:00:25,986 --> 01:00:28,898
Silence! Quiet!
611
01:00:29,671 --> 01:00:32,224
Silence. Quiet!
612
01:00:33,431 --> 01:00:36,210
We welcome you, Rabbi Jacob,
613
01:00:36,265 --> 01:00:38,567
venerable teacher,
614
01:00:38,881 --> 01:00:40,999
well of knowledge,
615
01:00:41,241 --> 01:00:43,446
celestial luminary.
616
01:00:43,548 --> 01:00:46,674
Hear that? Now, that's good! Very good!
617
01:00:50,818 --> 01:00:56,469
As a souvenir of this day,
accept this modest 'Shtreimel'.
618
01:01:06,032 --> 01:01:08,926
Oh, lovely Shtreimel!
619
01:01:09,542 --> 01:01:13,218
It's mink. I'll wear it every Sunday.
620
01:01:18,485 --> 01:01:20,423
Saturday, not Sunday!
621
01:01:20,571 --> 01:01:23,773
He said Sunday, but it's not.
It's Saturday.
622
01:01:27,403 --> 01:01:29,821
Silence. Silence.
623
01:01:31,199 --> 01:01:34,627
Rabbi Jacob will speak now.
624
01:01:36,378 --> 01:01:38,339
Go on, say something.
625
01:01:40,572 --> 01:01:42,118
Ah.
626
01:01:48,668 --> 01:01:50,578
My dear Rosenfelds.
627
01:01:56,187 --> 01:02:00,241
[PORK PRODUCTS - ROZENBERG]
My dear Rozenbergs.
628
01:02:02,812 --> 01:02:06,223
[BEEF BUTCHER - KOSHER]
My dear Koshers.
629
01:02:08,898 --> 01:02:10,566
Not that.
630
01:02:15,123 --> 01:02:18,168
How about that? My dear Levi's.
631
01:02:23,526 --> 01:02:25,511
Dear Levi's.
632
01:02:26,630 --> 01:02:28,674
Keep the rest.
633
01:02:29,421 --> 01:02:33,787
Uncle Jacob, a thousand excuses.
You must get off.
634
01:02:33,819 --> 01:02:37,709
- The taxi has to leave. - Yes, yes.
- He's getting out.
635
01:02:37,763 --> 01:02:40,472
- What if they ask me stuff?
- Do as they do.
636
01:02:40,507 --> 01:02:42,948
Ask a Jew anything, he always answers
637
01:02:42,988 --> 01:02:45,947
with another question,
to buy time to think.
638
01:02:46,042 --> 01:02:47,598
Oh, yeah?
639
01:02:59,393 --> 01:03:01,212
Monsieur!
640
01:03:10,406 --> 01:03:14,238
- Jacob, do you recognise me?
- And do you recognise me?
641
01:03:14,315 --> 01:03:16,183
- No.
- Good!
642
01:03:18,229 --> 01:03:20,962
We have a thousand questions for you.
643
01:03:21,017 --> 01:03:23,193
Well I have two thousand.
644
01:03:23,250 --> 01:03:25,703
- Rabbi Jacob!
- Yes.
645
01:03:27,262 --> 01:03:29,573
My driver. He recognises me.
646
01:03:29,598 --> 01:03:32,318
I only have one question.
647
01:03:32,823 --> 01:03:36,389
My boss fired me for
refusing to work Saturdays.
648
01:03:36,507 --> 01:03:38,663
What would you do in my place?
649
01:03:38,726 --> 01:03:42,186
Ask him to take you back.
He'll say yes!
650
01:03:42,343 --> 01:03:45,912
Ask for a raise. He'll say yes!
651
01:03:46,021 --> 01:03:48,834
- Double my pay?
- He'll say yes!
652
01:03:48,916 --> 01:03:51,686
- Triple?
- He... He'll say no.
653
01:03:56,210 --> 01:03:59,088
'Monsieur' didn't tell me he was Jewish.
654
01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:01,836
Yesterday I wasn't, that's why.
655
01:04:03,253 --> 01:04:06,981
I beg you Solomon don't tell.
The police, the 'maramouches'.
656
01:04:07,022 --> 01:04:09,956
- Everyone wants my hide.
- What has 'Monsieur' done?
657
01:04:09,981 --> 01:04:11,977
Nothing Solomon I'm innocent.
658
01:04:12,006 --> 01:04:15,047
They need a scapegoat.
And I'm the goat.
659
01:04:15,172 --> 01:04:16,704
Ba-ah-a...
660
01:04:16,774 --> 01:04:18,803
Hide me, and I'll re-hire you.
661
01:04:18,865 --> 01:04:22,273
I'll give you all the holidays
Jewish, Catholic and Protestant!
662
01:04:22,298 --> 01:04:25,326
Plus every Sabbath and Sunday.
663
01:04:25,378 --> 01:04:27,715
And the Muslim holidays?
664
01:04:28,643 --> 01:04:31,421
Eh? Do Muslims have holidays?
665
01:04:31,533 --> 01:04:34,968
What about him, Mohammed Larbi Slimane?
666
01:04:35,430 --> 01:04:38,415
- Why's he here?
- Who?
667
01:04:38,594 --> 01:04:41,815
Rabbi Seligmann,
668
01:04:42,257 --> 01:04:44,930
- It's done, I found one.
- What?
669
01:04:44,955 --> 01:04:46,799
- A real redhead.
- Ahh!
670
01:04:46,962 --> 01:04:48,344
Look.
671
01:04:50,245 --> 01:04:52,728
She's called Hannah.
672
01:04:52,801 --> 01:04:54,726
Say hello.
673
01:05:01,170 --> 01:05:05,014
Mameh, it's fine. They're all ready.
674
01:05:06,003 --> 01:05:10,256
Silence, silence!
675
01:05:11,194 --> 01:05:14,865
Rabbi Jacob will dance!
676
01:05:15,494 --> 01:05:18,502
- No, no.
- Rabbi Jacob's a good dancer!
677
01:05:44,370 --> 01:05:46,433
Hoi! Hoi!
678
01:07:24,627 --> 01:07:26,690
Ah, Monsieur has a real gift!
679
01:07:26,743 --> 01:07:29,556
It was a miracle, Solomon. A miracle!
680
01:07:31,807 --> 01:07:33,573
Bravo!
681
01:07:37,569 --> 01:07:41,013
You went to Orly, because
you knew Pivert was there!
682
01:07:41,070 --> 01:07:43,468
I thought he was leaving
with Therese Leduc.
683
01:07:43,521 --> 01:07:46,132
- On his daughter's wedding day?
- Drill!
684
01:07:46,196 --> 01:07:49,175
No, not the drill, I can't stand it!
685
01:07:54,282 --> 01:07:55,970
He's with Slimane.
686
01:07:56,032 --> 01:07:57,759
Where are they?
687
01:08:01,698 --> 01:08:03,400
Hello. Hello!
688
01:08:03,455 --> 01:08:07,718
Is this 749-28-27? Hello.
Who's speaking?
689
01:08:07,833 --> 01:08:09,909
Answer. But watch it!
690
01:08:10,153 --> 01:08:13,987
- Germaine? It's me, Victor.
- Ah Victor, it's you.
691
01:08:14,432 --> 01:08:16,432
- Ask where he is.
- No!
692
01:08:16,481 --> 01:08:18,595
Hello? Hello? Hello!
693
01:08:19,756 --> 01:08:22,323
Germaine turn off the drill, dammit!
694
01:08:22,354 --> 01:08:24,203
Can you hear me, or not?
695
01:08:24,310 --> 01:08:25,812
Where are you, cheri?
696
01:08:25,844 --> 01:08:28,441
Hiding with some Jewish friends.
697
01:08:28,505 --> 01:08:30,620
You have Jewish friends? You?!
698
01:08:30,702 --> 01:08:34,323
'Course I have Jewish fr...
What do you mean by that?
699
01:08:34,370 --> 01:08:37,151
Say the police is here
and let me speak to him.
700
01:08:37,198 --> 01:08:40,618
The police is here.
They wanna speak to you.
701
01:08:40,948 --> 01:08:44,318
Hello, M. Pivert, I'm the Commissioner.
702
01:08:44,432 --> 01:08:46,969
I recognize your voice, Commissioner.
703
01:08:47,025 --> 01:08:49,118
I'm so happy to hear you!
704
01:08:49,167 --> 01:08:52,556
Same here. Where are you M. Pivert?
705
01:08:52,727 --> 01:08:54,730
Listen, I know the killers.
706
01:08:54,804 --> 01:08:57,648
You can nab the whole smalah*. (tribe)
707
01:08:57,698 --> 01:09:00,719
- Their leader is called Fares.
- Oh, yeah?
708
01:09:01,302 --> 01:09:03,512
I'll give you his description.
709
01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:05,888
Fat, greasy, curly hair,
710
01:09:05,959 --> 01:09:09,428
small cruel eyes piercing
through dark glasses.
711
01:09:09,803 --> 01:09:12,482
- A true killer's face.
- Voila!
712
01:09:12,790 --> 01:09:15,466
I am at "Etoile de Kiev".
713
01:09:17,239 --> 01:09:20,853
It's a restaurant, a delikatessen,
714
01:09:20,931 --> 01:09:23,831
Rue des Rosiers number eight...
715
01:09:23,902 --> 01:09:25,380
Oight, oight!
716
01:09:25,528 --> 01:09:28,397
- Shalom, Rabbi.
- Shalom, my son. - Shalom.
717
01:09:28,442 --> 01:09:30,693
Shalom, not you, him.
718
01:09:30,926 --> 01:09:32,572
OK...
719
01:09:32,641 --> 01:09:35,552
OK, you ask for Rabbi Jacob.
720
01:09:35,631 --> 01:09:38,229
And Rabbi Jacob, is me.
721
01:09:38,284 --> 01:09:40,698
Is Slimane with you?
722
01:09:42,424 --> 01:09:43,901
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
723
01:09:43,948 --> 01:09:47,503
They're marrying him off
to a redhead, outside.
724
01:09:47,608 --> 01:09:51,135
- Don't move M. Pivert, we're coming.
- Yes!
725
01:09:51,191 --> 01:09:52,731
Jacob!
726
01:09:52,917 --> 01:09:56,808
- Jacob! Have you heard the news?
- No.
727
01:09:56,918 --> 01:09:58,933
Hannah's engaged.
728
01:09:58,977 --> 01:10:03,006
- If Rabbi Jacob gives his blessing.
- Pfft!
729
01:10:03,312 --> 01:10:05,726
What a cute goil!
730
01:10:09,850 --> 01:10:13,764
So, are you happy?
Look at her. Tiddly-diggety-dee!
731
01:10:13,886 --> 01:10:16,405
And you... Mmmmm!
732
01:10:17,446 --> 01:10:19,865
Rabbi Jacob says YES!
733
01:10:21,430 --> 01:10:24,173
Voila. He's so happy.
734
01:10:28,884 --> 01:10:32,235
Today of all days, to pull THIS on me!
735
01:10:41,360 --> 01:10:43,583
Papa's disappeared.
736
01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:47,825
Mama!
737
01:11:11,036 --> 01:11:12,766
Antoinette!
738
01:11:13,701 --> 01:11:16,157
*[♪ canticle: Heb]
739
01:11:46,561 --> 01:11:48,042
I can't do it.
740
01:11:48,128 --> 01:11:50,903
- Are you Rabbi Jacob or not?
- Yes, but not here!
741
01:11:50,969 --> 01:11:54,306
- Play along, I beg you.
- You're safe with us.
742
01:11:54,331 --> 01:11:56,019
- Uncle Jacob?
- Yes.
743
01:11:56,043 --> 01:11:57,732
We cleared the way.
744
01:12:02,409 --> 01:12:05,574
- What should we do?
- Do like everyone else.
745
01:12:05,637 --> 01:12:10,359
- How does a Jewish Communion work?
- It works out alright.
746
01:12:15,535 --> 01:12:19,504
As soon as my wife gets here,
I'm off to church!
747
01:12:29,926 --> 01:12:32,317
Bless me, uncle Jacob.
748
01:12:38,191 --> 01:12:40,402
I bless you, David.
749
01:12:46,427 --> 01:12:49,139
You too, Rabbi Seligmann.
750
01:12:53,582 --> 01:12:56,159
God be with you, David.
751
01:12:56,170 --> 01:13:00,133
*[♪ canticle: Heb]
752
01:13:03,761 --> 01:13:05,512
- Pssst!
- Amen!
753
01:13:06,584 --> 01:13:10,084
- Pssst! Hey.
- What is it?
754
01:13:10,208 --> 01:13:15,230
Rabbi Jacob's wanted on the phone.
It's urgent. From Madame Pivert.
755
01:13:16,247 --> 01:13:18,055
I'm coming.
756
01:13:28,992 --> 01:13:31,640
Amen!
757
01:13:32,910 --> 01:13:34,900
Did you hear? They say amen.
758
01:13:34,979 --> 01:13:37,288
Great! Same as us.
759
01:13:37,453 --> 01:13:39,706
I beg you Solomon, warn Monsieur!
760
01:13:39,757 --> 01:13:42,216
There are 3.
Their boss is called Fares.
761
01:13:42,250 --> 01:13:44,577
Three killers? Here?
762
01:13:47,801 --> 01:13:51,578
They want to assassinate him.
Hurry they're on their way!
763
01:13:51,625 --> 01:13:54,064
No, Madame, they're here.
764
01:14:05,818 --> 01:14:08,653
*[♪ canticle: Heb]
765
01:14:16,963 --> 01:14:19,224
Mazel tov, my son.
766
01:14:31,878 --> 01:14:35,945
*♪ Ya mod, Rabbi Jacob.
767
01:14:38,890 --> 01:14:40,921
- What's he saying?
- Eh?
768
01:14:40,946 --> 01:14:42,484
What's he saying?
769
01:14:43,308 --> 01:14:47,958
He says, without imposing, uncle Jacob,
it's your turn to read the Torah.
770
01:14:48,019 --> 01:14:50,269
I can't, it's too great an honour.
771
01:14:50,356 --> 01:14:53,269
I'm even more overcome than you.
772
01:14:53,375 --> 01:14:55,235
- You too, Rabbi Seligman.
- No.
773
01:14:55,260 --> 01:14:55,870
Yes!
774
01:14:55,953 --> 01:14:58,917
What an honour for my family and me!
775
01:14:59,835 --> 01:15:01,933
Please, Rabbi Jacob.
776
01:15:28,410 --> 01:15:30,068
It's Hebrew.
777
01:15:30,114 --> 01:15:33,032
Read from right to left, like Arabic.
778
01:15:34,067 --> 01:15:37,690
I'll give the honour to Rabbi Seligmann.
779
01:15:37,877 --> 01:15:40,269
He'll read in Hebrew.
780
01:15:40,457 --> 01:15:43,838
The glasses. And the hand.
781
01:15:44,253 --> 01:15:47,928
There... You read it from right to left.
782
01:15:51,290 --> 01:15:54,707
- Think they're in there, Chief?
- It's possible.
783
01:15:54,863 --> 01:15:59,739
Careful, it's like a church.
So... tact and delicacy!
784
01:16:03,402 --> 01:16:05,291
Your hats.
785
01:16:13,366 --> 01:16:15,246
Fares is in the synagogue.
786
01:16:15,308 --> 01:16:17,802
- Fares?
- Leave it to me.
787
01:16:25,668 --> 01:16:27,992
- Hats.
- Hats.
788
01:16:28,759 --> 01:16:30,636
Hats!
789
01:16:33,008 --> 01:16:36,171
Silence. Silence!
790
01:16:37,757 --> 01:16:39,657
*Brothers... [HEBREW]
791
01:16:39,765 --> 01:16:43,204
The three men that have just come in
792
01:16:43,304 --> 01:16:47,515
are not here to pray.
They're assassins!
793
01:16:47,753 --> 01:16:50,280
- Assassins?
- Assassins?
794
01:16:50,993 --> 01:16:55,663
*They want to kill Rabbi Jacob
and Rabbi Seligmann.
795
01:16:55,826 --> 01:17:00,843
Help me save them.
796
01:17:08,731 --> 01:17:12,695
What are you doing? let me be.
797
01:17:29,382 --> 01:17:32,616
Solomon! Quickly, Solomon.
798
01:17:34,124 --> 01:17:35,811
That way.
799
01:17:38,017 --> 01:17:41,110
Wait in the "Etoile de Kiev".
I'll get my moped.
800
01:17:41,150 --> 01:17:43,424
How did Fares know we were here?
801
01:17:43,449 --> 01:17:48,746
- Monsieur blabbed to him on the phone.
- I told the Commissioner. - That WAS Fares.
802
01:17:48,797 --> 01:17:52,463
What? That was Fares? Unbelievable!
803
01:18:08,332 --> 01:18:12,432
Thirty years, Samuel, and nothing changed!
804
01:18:16,540 --> 01:18:21,254
There's the synagogue.
And this is the Etoile de Kiev.
805
01:18:23,996 --> 01:18:26,637
Hey, what's going on? Lemme go!
806
01:18:26,691 --> 01:18:28,348
Open it. Get in!
807
01:18:32,694 --> 01:18:34,493
Step on it!
808
01:18:36,865 --> 01:18:39,800
Monsieur, come quick.
809
01:18:40,392 --> 01:18:43,145
Hop on, and get away, quick!
810
01:18:43,264 --> 01:18:45,225
Hurry, get on!
811
01:18:47,171 --> 01:18:49,942
- Get on. Go!
- Goddammit!
812
01:18:50,012 --> 01:18:52,172
- You saved my life, Solomon.
- Ok, OK!
813
01:18:52,197 --> 01:18:53,632
You'd have done the same
814
01:18:53,702 --> 01:18:57,365
I say! Solomon, Slimane.
Slimane, Solomon.
815
01:18:57,890 --> 01:19:00,085
Could you guys be cousins?
816
01:19:00,279 --> 01:19:03,067
- Cousins?
- Estranged...
817
01:19:03,565 --> 01:19:05,262
Thanks.
818
01:19:05,435 --> 01:19:09,741
Save it for later. Go!
To St. Louis des Invalides Church.
819
01:19:29,265 --> 01:19:32,644
Police. Commissioner Andreani.
820
01:19:36,976 --> 01:19:39,774
Mama, there's the Etoile de Kiev.
821
01:19:39,837 --> 01:19:44,286
Commissioner, we took you for killers.
It's a misunderstanding.
822
01:19:44,326 --> 01:19:45,916
He misunderstood!
823
01:19:45,953 --> 01:19:49,075
- This misunderstanding will cost you dearly.
- Sami!
824
01:19:49,116 --> 01:19:50,899
Cossaks!
825
01:19:51,554 --> 01:19:54,798
Leave my Sami alone
or I'll call the police!
826
01:19:54,862 --> 01:19:58,477
This is the police, mameh.
These men are the police
827
01:19:59,008 --> 01:20:01,635
There's Solomon, mom.
828
01:20:04,670 --> 01:20:07,170
- Solomon!
- Madame?
829
01:20:09,063 --> 01:20:11,603
What've you done with my husband?
830
01:20:11,650 --> 01:20:14,473
- Don't worry, Sir is safe.
- Where is he?
831
01:20:14,498 --> 01:20:18,502
I lent him my moped and
he went to your wedding.
832
01:20:51,791 --> 01:20:53,934
I can't breathe.
833
01:20:56,034 --> 01:20:58,746
Police! *...
834
01:21:00,911 --> 01:21:03,463
Take off your beard, Pivert.
835
01:21:03,568 --> 01:21:07,352
Again, with the Piverte?!
What is this Piverte?
836
01:21:10,071 --> 01:21:11,988
Waddaya tryinna do?
837
01:21:12,083 --> 01:21:17,973
- That's not Slimane!
* - Fi, rai! Eenhoil
838
01:21:18,042 --> 01:21:20,128
And I'm not Piverte!
839
01:21:20,379 --> 01:21:22,183
Hurry, hurry!
840
01:21:25,381 --> 01:21:28,841
My boat, my car! There, they stole it.
841
01:21:29,075 --> 01:21:31,052
Thief! Thief!
842
01:21:31,118 --> 01:21:33,692
- Don't shout like that.
- Move it!
843
01:21:40,763 --> 01:21:43,614
- Faster. Faster.
- I can't!
844
01:21:43,723 --> 01:21:45,825
- Go!
- Aahh, my hat!
845
01:21:45,881 --> 01:21:47,458
That way!
846
01:21:47,902 --> 01:21:50,668
- There!
- Careful, my hat!
847
01:21:50,887 --> 01:21:53,097
My hat, I can't see!
848
01:22:02,914 --> 01:22:05,068
Quick, this way!
849
01:22:14,343 --> 01:22:16,545
Thief! Stop!
850
01:22:23,233 --> 01:22:24,860
Thief!
851
01:22:25,410 --> 01:22:27,631
Oh, no, it's not me.
852
01:22:30,382 --> 01:22:32,722
Not the moustache. Not the moustache.
853
01:22:45,824 --> 01:22:49,048
- You're the Pivert?!
- Rabbi Jacob!
854
01:22:58,007 --> 01:23:02,553
Hello, Citroen DS, license 438ZA75,
855
01:23:02,702 --> 01:23:05,601
carrying the boat Germaine II,
856
01:23:05,698 --> 01:23:08,962
is heading towards Place de la Concorde.
857
01:23:23,181 --> 01:23:26,015
Spare their lives, Fares.
They won't talk.
858
01:23:26,064 --> 01:23:29,432
No, I won't talk. Not a word.
I forgot everything.
859
01:23:29,477 --> 01:23:32,704
I don't even know your name, M. Fares.
860
01:23:35,266 --> 01:23:37,914
Don't shoot! I have an idea.
861
01:23:38,223 --> 01:23:40,749
Instead of shooting me in the car,
862
01:23:40,774 --> 01:23:43,588
you let me go to my daughters wedding.
863
01:23:43,649 --> 01:23:47,148
And tomorrow, you send me a letter-bomb.
864
01:23:47,700 --> 01:23:49,632
So, I'm at home...
865
01:23:49,905 --> 01:23:52,217
The doorbell rings. Drrring!
866
01:23:52,428 --> 01:23:54,022
Drrring!
867
01:23:58,864 --> 01:24:00,993
- Who is it?
- I open...
868
01:24:03,427 --> 01:24:05,500
A letter bomb!
869
01:24:07,526 --> 01:24:09,160
And for whom?
870
01:24:09,253 --> 01:24:12,329
- For you, not me.
- You're a pain in the a...!
871
01:24:12,359 --> 01:24:15,129
- So, I open it.
- NO, don't! YES! No!
872
01:24:15,214 --> 01:24:17,670
I open it and paf!
873
01:24:18,584 --> 01:24:23,332
No more Pivert, no more Jacob,
no more Fares! Waddaya gonna do?
874
01:24:25,099 --> 01:24:26,450
That's for me.
875
01:24:26,500 --> 01:24:28,153
For me! Leggo!
876
01:24:29,334 --> 01:24:31,505
Hello... *...
877
01:24:31,573 --> 01:24:32,941
Hello!
878
01:24:32,979 --> 01:24:35,730
Hello, is this M. Pivert's car?
879
01:24:35,798 --> 01:24:38,527
Is president Slimane with you?
880
01:24:39,770 --> 01:24:41,770
President Slimane?!
881
01:24:42,904 --> 01:24:46,073
The Minister wants to speak with him.
882
01:24:47,691 --> 01:24:50,233
It is for you. The Minister.
883
01:24:51,325 --> 01:24:53,217
Ahh! Gimme!
884
01:24:53,403 --> 01:24:55,356
- Hello.
- Hello.
885
01:24:55,622 --> 01:24:58,364
- Mr. President?
- Slimane speaking.
886
01:24:58,459 --> 01:25:00,272
The Revolutionary Council
887
01:25:00,297 --> 01:25:03,780
which took power in your
country at 13:00 GMT,
888
01:25:03,850 --> 01:25:06,309
wishes you to return, urgently.
889
01:25:06,837 --> 01:25:10,299
- Should I mention petroleum?
- It'd be inappropriate.
890
01:25:10,345 --> 01:25:13,257
A Concorde! We could
fix him up with one.
891
01:25:13,337 --> 01:25:16,413
- Not so fast, you'll spoil everything.
- OK.
892
01:25:16,551 --> 01:25:18,608
There's the Alouette 'copters.
893
01:25:18,671 --> 01:25:20,939
I'll slip in a cagey allusion.
894
01:25:22,475 --> 01:25:25,608
We'll come pick you up,
in our Alouette Chopper.
895
01:25:25,647 --> 01:25:27,053
Latest model.
896
01:25:27,100 --> 01:25:28,701
I did it, I did it!
897
01:25:28,744 --> 01:25:31,494
We did it, and they lost!
898
01:25:33,491 --> 01:25:37,078
You appreciate, Mr. President...
899
01:25:37,366 --> 01:25:39,343
that I saved your life.
900
01:25:39,419 --> 01:25:41,475
They wanted to, 'taga-daga-da!'
901
01:25:41,515 --> 01:25:43,835
*Arkhoum Fares, my President.
902
01:25:44,141 --> 01:25:47,295
- No more *Arkhoum!
- Pardon.
903
01:25:47,351 --> 01:25:49,907
Shouldn't have bet on the wrong camel.
904
01:25:49,932 --> 01:25:52,234
Sabres... up!
905
01:26:04,246 --> 01:26:06,588
See that, Mr. President?
906
01:26:13,664 --> 01:26:15,910
That's France! Clip-clop...
907
01:26:16,652 --> 01:26:18,270
France!
908
01:26:44,807 --> 01:26:46,333
That's it! It's over.
909
01:26:46,468 --> 01:26:49,336
It's 2 o' clock, I can't wait any longer.
910
01:26:49,453 --> 01:26:52,110
Remove the plants and flower bouquets.
911
01:26:52,135 --> 01:26:54,740
But Reverend! A little more patience.
912
01:26:54,780 --> 01:26:58,378
I phoned and no one's home,
they're surely on their way.
913
01:26:58,439 --> 01:27:02,127
- I'm sorry, I have a funeral.
- At least, he'll be on time!
914
01:27:02,170 --> 01:27:04,262
- Alexandre.
- Yes, papa.
915
01:27:04,301 --> 01:27:06,496
The Marquise is leaving.
916
01:27:06,776 --> 01:27:09,994
- Stay a little longer, dear Madame?
- Any minute, now.
917
01:27:10,030 --> 01:27:14,527
Ah, no, I've been standing for
2 hours, so good bye. Home!
918
01:27:15,073 --> 01:27:17,831
Alexander, you sure it wasn't Notre Dame?
919
01:27:17,895 --> 01:27:19,813
Will we get lunch anyway?
920
01:27:19,839 --> 01:27:22,370
- Better luck next time.
- Piss off!
921
01:27:22,527 --> 01:27:24,728
Papa, mama, what now?
922
01:27:25,440 --> 01:27:28,706
- Two hours late. Two!
- What'll people think?
923
01:27:28,750 --> 01:27:31,189
Pivert is a useless ass!
924
01:27:38,415 --> 01:27:40,355
What's that?
925
01:27:46,595 --> 01:27:48,182
Mama, what is that?
926
01:27:48,237 --> 01:27:50,260
'TEN... HUTT!
927
01:28:07,185 --> 01:28:09,769
Here I am. Allez, allez!
928
01:28:12,597 --> 01:28:14,988
General, here I am! Here!
929
01:28:15,158 --> 01:28:16,810
Pivert!
930
01:28:18,022 --> 01:28:20,076
I'm here. Coming!
931
01:28:20,155 --> 01:28:23,842
Stay, Reverend.
I'm the father of the bride.
932
01:28:23,945 --> 01:28:25,598
You? A Rabbi?!
933
01:28:25,665 --> 01:28:28,420
It's a scandal, Pivert! A SCANDAL
934
01:28:28,481 --> 01:28:32,169
- Explain yourself!
- 2 hours late and what's that disguise?
935
01:28:32,240 --> 01:28:34,498
A Rabbi! I'm a Rabbi like you.
936
01:28:34,546 --> 01:28:37,162
This is a Shtreimel.
That, too, is a Shtreimel.
937
01:28:37,212 --> 01:28:39,047
These are Curlicues. (*Payot)
938
01:28:39,080 --> 01:28:41,537
- Those, too, are Curlicues!
- Aah!
939
01:28:43,327 --> 01:28:44,984
We're here!
940
01:28:45,256 --> 01:28:46,898
That's my wife!
941
01:28:50,748 --> 01:28:52,265
Turn into it!
942
01:28:52,421 --> 01:28:55,304
- Mama, stop!
- Shall I take the wheel?
943
01:28:55,374 --> 01:28:57,757
I can't Solomon, no brakes!
944
01:29:03,343 --> 01:29:06,741
What's that white smoke from the engine?
945
01:29:23,698 --> 01:29:26,372
My boat! My boat.
946
01:29:27,458 --> 01:29:29,138
Antoinette.
947
01:29:29,203 --> 01:29:31,188
You did that on purpose!
948
01:29:31,242 --> 01:29:32,703
My hat!
949
01:29:32,754 --> 01:29:35,216
My boat, gluglug... Your hat...
950
01:29:36,791 --> 01:29:38,690
Mademoiselle, allow me.
951
01:29:39,775 --> 01:29:41,498
Are you nuts?
952
01:29:41,617 --> 01:29:45,322
Papa, mama, don't start. Not today.
953
01:29:45,518 --> 01:29:47,956
Jacob! It's him!
954
01:29:52,381 --> 01:29:53,889
Shalom.
955
01:30:02,511 --> 01:30:05,228
Pivert, what's this tribe?
956
01:30:05,305 --> 01:30:08,055
Tribe?! Those are my
friends, the Schmolls.
957
01:30:08,117 --> 01:30:11,276
They invited me to synagogue
so I invite them to church.
958
01:30:11,301 --> 01:30:14,941
- Gotcha, Pivert!
- Well done! - Imbecile!
959
01:30:27,622 --> 01:30:29,553
Sabres... up!
960
01:30:48,163 --> 01:30:49,726
Mr president...
961
01:30:55,296 --> 01:30:56,928
*...
962
01:30:57,157 --> 01:30:59,980
In the name of the bonds
that unite our countries,
963
01:31:00,060 --> 01:31:02,068
I'm glad to be the first to...
964
01:31:02,122 --> 01:31:05,661
- Slimane, in the name of the law, I arrest you.
- Me?
965
01:31:05,746 --> 01:31:08,350
Now, there, you're making a gaffe.
966
01:31:08,451 --> 01:31:10,513
And, what a cock up! Haha...
967
01:31:10,622 --> 01:31:12,544
- You'll see.
- Yes, we'll see.
968
01:31:12,607 --> 01:31:15,695
It's OK, Minister I collared
them without incident.
969
01:31:15,760 --> 01:31:18,263
Release these men, imbecile!
970
01:31:18,954 --> 01:31:21,235
Of course, Minister.
971
01:31:22,525 --> 01:31:25,978
- Mr. President, excuse us, sir.
- Ah, it's nothing.
972
01:31:26,033 --> 01:31:27,564
Hmm... you!
973
01:31:27,626 --> 01:31:29,899
- Thank you, 'constable'.
- 'Constable'?
974
01:31:29,975 --> 01:31:32,337
Because tomorrow... truuu-lut!
975
01:31:32,772 --> 01:31:34,506
Truuu-lut!
976
01:31:36,104 --> 01:31:37,817
truuu-lut!
977
01:31:57,838 --> 01:32:01,311
My veil! Can I have my veil back?
978
01:32:02,987 --> 01:32:04,614
No.
979
01:32:14,653 --> 01:32:16,530
Antoinette!
980
01:32:18,162 --> 01:32:21,956
Where's she off to?
Antoinette, come back!
981
01:32:22,011 --> 01:32:25,106
See that, Minister?
He's taking my daughter!
982
01:32:25,161 --> 01:32:27,520
He just takes her and zoom!
983
01:32:27,747 --> 01:32:30,216
Victor, she's gone mad.
984
01:32:30,294 --> 01:32:33,310
You can't let our daughter
go off with a... a...
985
01:32:33,392 --> 01:32:38,208
A President of a Republic.
My daughter will marry a President.
986
01:32:57,258 --> 01:32:59,125
*Mazel tov.
987
01:32:59,456 --> 01:33:04,872
Of course, tonight, you're coming
to the bar mitzvah dinner?
988
01:33:04,982 --> 01:33:07,162
Listen, Rabbi Jacob, listen.
989
01:33:07,287 --> 01:33:09,578
I must confess.
990
01:33:09,756 --> 01:33:12,292
Voila... I'm not Jewish.
991
01:33:12,593 --> 01:33:16,623
Doesn't matter, Monsieur.
We'll, keep you on anyway.
70649
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