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1
00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:04,403
- Maybe I shouldn't
leave you alone here
2
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,538
For the weekend.
3
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:08,774
- No, no, no!
4
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:10,442
Come on, the kids.
5
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,644
The kids have to see
their other grandparents.
6
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,380
Huh, we can't have them
growing up
7
00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:17,649
Thinking what's across
the street is normal, right?
8
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,551
- Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
9
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:22,221
[parrot mimics ally]
10
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,123
Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
11
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:25,557
[parrot mimics ally]
12
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:26,792
- Ahh...See?
13
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,227
I told you
she'd love that doll.
14
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:30,162
- Yeah. Thanks a lot, ray.
15
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,297
That's going to be really fun
all the way to connecticut.
16
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,566
- Aah!
[parrot mimics ally]
17
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:40,039
- Man, I wish I was going.
18
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:48,814
- Can I ask you guys
something?
19
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,488
When was the last time
you cried?
20
00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:03,562
- What do you mean?
About sports?
21
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:06,698
- Something real.
I mean, really cried.
22
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:11,203
- So nothing with sports?
23
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:12,638
- No, no.
Like last week,
24
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,473
I was watching "honey,
I shrunk the kids."
25
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,175
And the guy was looking
for his shrunken kids,
26
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:19,812
And I cried...
27
00:01:19,814 --> 00:01:23,148
'cause I didn't think my father
would come looking for me.
28
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:29,822
- It wouldn't be hard
to find you.
29
00:01:29,824 --> 00:01:31,256
- Yeah, you just look
under the cookie
30
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,159
That's moving
across the floor.
31
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:37,729
- Nah...
No, no, no.
32
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:40,265
No, guys, I know
what he's talking about
33
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,834
With the crying thing.
34
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:43,235
You know,
'cause the other day,
35
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,438
I dropped my twins off
at preschool.
36
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,775
And...I was watching
them go in, you know,
37
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,543
And just as the door
was closing,
38
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,646
I saw michael
take geoffrey's hand.
39
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:58,217
And...
40
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,886
I don't know.
41
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:03,322
- I'm going home before you guys
start making out.
42
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:05,624
- Yeah, I got to go.
43
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,825
It's getting late.
I got to go.
44
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,393
- Well, wait! Wait!
45
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:11,363
- Hey, johnny, I'll tell you
my cry story in the car.
46
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,532
- Great.
That'll be my throw-up story.
47
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,534
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you talking about?
48
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,236
We're just getting
started here.
49
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:18,804
- Ray, we've been here,
like, four hours.
50
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,639
- Aw, come on, man.
It's not even 11:00.
51
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,741
- Ray, I've been up
since 6:00 a.M., I'm tired.
52
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,276
- Come on.
What, you can't take it?
53
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,678
Huh? Ya wimps.
What, you're not men?
54
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,680
- Ray, you're the one that just
told us you cried
55
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:32,417
Because you think
your twins are gay.
56
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,853
- That wasn't the point
of the story!
57
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:35,854
- I don't want to know the point
of the story.
58
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,289
- Hey, come on!
59
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:38,924
It's my one night
of freedom here, guys.
60
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:42,594
Doug--
oh, come on!
61
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:47,366
- I probably should get going.
I have to get up early.
62
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:52,271
- Oh? Is it getting late?
63
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:55,607
- Maybe not.
64
00:02:55,609 --> 00:03:02,714
[doorbell ringing]
65
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,716
- What the hell is that?
66
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,519
It's 12:30--
not that that's late.
67
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:12,558
- Hey.
68
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,293
- Hey what?
What do you want?
69
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:16,762
- No kids, no debra. Come on.
What are we doing?
70
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,330
- Nothing.
Thanks for stopping by.
71
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:19,731
- Come on! Come on!
72
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,900
Come on, man!
I'm free here! I'm free!
73
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,702
Oh.
74
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,637
Hi.
75
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:26,605
- Hello.
76
00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:33,445
I'm aileen.
77
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,480
- I'm ray...
78
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:37,849
Robert's brother. Yeah.
79
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,518
Uh, okay, sorry.
80
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,386
Look, you guys
get back to, uh,
81
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:44,590
Whatever it was you were
doing on the couch, and, uh,
82
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:47,960
We'll talk tomorrow--
not about what you did.
83
00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:54,866
- Go now.
84
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:58,370
- Actually, robert,
I better get going.
85
00:03:58,372 --> 00:03:59,504
- No! Stay!
- Yeah! Stay!
86
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,240
- Please, please stay.
87
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:03,342
- It really is getting late.
Nice to meet you, ray.
88
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,576
I'll call you.
89
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,878
- Who, me? Oh, him!
Yeah, him. Yeah.
90
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,313
Yeah, call him.
91
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:10,549
Yeah. Please.
Please call him.
92
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:31,670
Oops.
93
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,672
- What the hell
is wrong with you?
94
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,974
- I just--
I wanted to hang out.
95
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,442
I didn't know
I'd be walking in
96
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,879
On "beauty and the beast."
97
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:44,683
- Since when do we
hang out at midnight?
98
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,585
- What, I didn't want
to go to bed yet, huh?
99
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,688
Why should I stay up
in an empty house all night
100
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,056
When I can do
whatever I want?
101
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:53,792
- Oh, you are unbelievable!
102
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,694
- I'm unbelievably
ready to roll.
103
00:04:55,696 --> 00:05:00,866
That's what I am.
[chuckles]
104
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,668
- Wait a minute.
Empty house?
105
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,636
- That's right. I'm free.
106
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,071
- Debra and the kids
are away?
107
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:09,308
- Uh-huh.
Hey! Hey, jacuzzi!
108
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,542
Jacuzzi!
109
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,077
[singing]
jacuzzi, jacuzzi
110
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:14,313
Ja-ja-ja-jacuzzi
111
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:15,781
Bubbles in my heinie
112
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:17,816
Ooh, ooh
113
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,986
Bubbles...In...My heinie
114
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,321
Ooh
115
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:24,556
[pop]
116
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:25,991
What?
117
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:31,029
- You're afraid to spend
the night alone.
118
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:34,733
- How do you get that
from "bubbles in my heinie"?
119
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,371
- Ray, it's me
you're talking to.
120
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:43,342
We used to share a bedroom.
You get scared.
121
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,644
- What? You don't know what
you're talking about; I do not.
122
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:46,712
- Yeah? Remember how long
you had to keep
123
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:50,615
The popeye night light,
scaredy-poo?
124
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,517
- Yeah, well,
until popeye came along,
125
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,519
You had to keep
the hallway light on.
126
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,421
- Only after one of dad's
bedtime stories.
127
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:58,457
- Yeah, which was every night.
128
00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,791
- Listen, if you're
having trouble sleeping,
129
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,860
Just turn on the tv.
130
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,962
- I-I'm not having
trouble sleeping.
131
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,997
I'm fine, okay?
I'm not scared, robert.
132
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:09,601
- Yeah...
133
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,103
Listen to your big brother,
okay?
134
00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:13,572
Watch some tv.
135
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,974
Discovery channel,
cubby.
136
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,710
Nature will
put you right out.
137
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,911
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
138
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:22,514
Unless it's
about monkeys, right?
139
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:26,718
- Wh-what's that
supposed to mean?
140
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,687
- Nothing.
I just, uh...
141
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,923
I remember a particular
shoe tree in your closet
142
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,158
That had a shadow...
143
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,426
- All right.
144
00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:35,861
- That you thought
145
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:37,662
Looked like a monkey
holding an ax.
146
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,831
- Listen, I was ten years old,
147
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:43,435
And my shoe trees were big.
148
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:44,770
- Monkey holding an ax.
149
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:45,937
- Yeah.
I'm over it now, raymond!
150
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:50,075
- You know what?
It's none of your business.
151
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,411
And it's time for you to go!
- [chattering]
152
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:54,112
- All right, get out of here.
- Aah! Aah!
153
00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:55,714
Good.
This place is stupid.
154
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,783
- Yeah, oh,
and, uh, good luck
155
00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:00,685
In that big, dark house
you're going to be all alone in.
156
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:03,755
Or are you?
157
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:27,779
- All right,
that was something.
158
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,461
[deep voice]
who is it there?
159
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,717
Now I can't hear
the murderer.
160
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,867
- The mother decides
to nurse its young
161
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:26,938
Under the cooling shade
of a nearby tree.
162
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:30,609
Unfortunately, that decision
will cost the gazelle its life.
163
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,511
[snarling]
164
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:36,248
- No, no, no.
165
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,250
Thanks, robert.
166
00:08:38,252 --> 00:08:40,619
Stupid nature.
167
00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:57,068
- [loud squawking]
no, no, no!
168
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,876
[squawking]
169
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:13,084
- Friggin' doll.
170
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:20,659
- Hey.
171
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:23,228
- Oh, raymond.
What are you doing up?
172
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,263
Can't you sleep, dear?
173
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,599
- No, no.
I could sleep if I wanted to.
174
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:30,001
I just...
175
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,904
- Aww,
you miss debra and the kids.
176
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:36,641
Aww...
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, them.
177
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,243
So what are you doing
still awake?
178
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,645
- I'm making tea for robert.
- Robert?
179
00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:49,688
- Yeah, they fumigated
his apartment today,
180
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:52,357
And he can't go back home
till tomorrow.
181
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:55,727
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
182
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:58,630
He said they had
army ants.
183
00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:03,301
- Army...
[chuckles]
184
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,839
- Well, what are you
doing over here?
185
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,108
- Hey, I just had to walk
across the street.
186
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:14,112
You had to drive here,
officer barone.
187
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,280
- What are you talking about?
188
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,782
- Ray's scared.
- Hey.
189
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,184
You're the one
who's scared.
190
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:20,285
- What do you mean?
191
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,920
You're sick?
You're in trouble?
192
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:26,057
Is someone bullying you?
193
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,826
- No, ma.
194
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,628
- Then what is it?
What are you scared of?
195
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,934
- Being alone.
196
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:39,037
- You mean for the rest
of your life.
197
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:47,912
- No, but thanks for bringing up
that possibility.
198
00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:48,980
- Then what is it?
199
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,348
- I-I-I don't know, ma.
200
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,283
You know, noises...
201
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,285
The dark,
things in the closet.
202
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,655
Sometimes it creeps me out.
203
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:57,889
You know, raymond too.
204
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,692
- Hey, hey, hey,
speak for yourself here.
205
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:03,161
- Hey, you're the one who
came over to my place tonight.
206
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,764
- Yes, and, uh,
there were no army ants.
207
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:08,099
- "oh! My house is empty.
208
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,668
"debra's gone.
209
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,936
Oh, no, I'm frightened."
210
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,005
- Shut up, ass of the world!
211
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,274
- You shut up, schmuck
of the whole neighborhood!
212
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,743
- That's smaller, you idiot.
- I know it's smaller!
213
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:20,845
- Stop! Stop!
- [chattering]
214
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,781
- Stop!
215
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:25,350
Raymond, your brother
is not a monkey.
216
00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:36,127
There's nothing wrong
with being a little frightened.
217
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,129
We all
get scared sometimes, right?
218
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:40,098
- Ehh...
- And there's no reason
219
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,133
Why you can't come over here
every once in a while.
220
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:44,135
I mean, that's fine.
221
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,837
Doesn't it make
you feel good
222
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,839
That there's a place to go
if you're feeling scared?
223
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:50,041
Robbie?
224
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,011
- Yeah, I guess.
225
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,413
- Raymond?
226
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:56,948
- [screaming]
227
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:57,982
[screaming]
228
00:11:57,984 --> 00:11:59,217
- Oh!
229
00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:14,232
- Hello, ladies.
- Oh.
230
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,234
Frank!
- Jerk!
231
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,204
- Why did you do that?
They're scared already.
232
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,806
- That's why I did it.
233
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:23,842
You're grown men,
for god's sake.
234
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,310
What's wrong with you?
235
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:27,946
- Hey, hey, you're the one
who started the whole thing.
236
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,181
- What the hell's
that supposed to mean?
237
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:31,282
- What, you don't remember
the stories?
238
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,184
Gargoyles in our closet
239
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:36,121
Or a big brother who's just
waiting for me to fall asleep,
240
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:39,023
So he can steal my brain.
241
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,493
- Or a little brother
who's half spider.
242
00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:44,863
- [chuckles]
half spider.
243
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:45,930
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
244
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,065
Very funny, dad.
Very funny.
245
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,300
- Give a break!
246
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,002
You asked for 'em.
247
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:55,840
"scare us, daddy.
Tell us a scary story."
248
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:59,778
- We also asked
to drive the car, you know?
249
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,112
I mean,
you should know better.
250
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,114
You scared the hell out of us.
We couldn't sleep.
251
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,184
- Yeah. A couple of times,
we even wet our beds.
252
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,952
- I never did that.
253
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:15,260
- Frank...
Look what you did to them.
254
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,895
- Don't give me that, marie.
255
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,563
You loved it
when I scared 'em.
256
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,431
Then they'd come
running to you,
257
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,433
And you could hug
and cuddle
258
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,135
And slobber
all over them.
259
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,804
- Hey, that was nice.
260
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,305
That's an actual
good memory I have.
261
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,406
She'd calm us down.
262
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:31,042
- Yeah, she used to
scratch my head.
263
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,844
That helped.
264
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:38,316
- I didn't like
seeing my boys scared.
265
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,919
- Oh, yeah, hey,
you got any of those, ma?
266
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,320
- Oh, sure, honey.
Let me get them.
267
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,156
- I like the, uh,
the pretzel-looking ones.
268
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,558
- And remember then we'd
go upstairs to our room
269
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,059
To get away from him,
270
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,260
And then we'd talk
about the mets
271
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:50,328
Till we fell asleep, huh?
272
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,462
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
273
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,565
I'm glad you were there,
cubby.
274
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:55,500
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, me too. It was good.
275
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,468
- Yeah.
276
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:01,539
- Personally,
I like leprechauns.
277
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,144
- What?
278
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,479
- Leprechauns.
279
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,882
Cute, harmless
little irish guys.
280
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,550
And whenever I'd tell
you guys a story,
281
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:14,319
I'd throw in a couple
of leprechauns
282
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:17,422
And scare the bejesus
out of you.
283
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:20,291
Hey, ray,
how did I know
284
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:23,061
That little raymond
was afraid of leprechauns?
285
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,029
- I don't know.
286
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:28,399
- Any ideas...
Robert?
287
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,501
- Oh, dad, don't start
pointing fingers, okay?
288
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,036
That's not going to work,
right, ray?
289
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,471
- That's right.
290
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:36,207
How did he know
about the leprechauns?
291
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,643
- I--I don't know, it wasn't me.
Maybe it was ma.
292
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:43,281
All I know is that I couldn't
serve you lucky charms.
293
00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:51,623
- [high-pitched laugh]
294
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:54,092
He was me little spy!
295
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,526
- You told him.
296
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,962
- All--all right, yes, I did.
I told him.
297
00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,231
- Robert.
- Why--why would you do that?
298
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,900
- Well, I liked
when he told us the stories,
299
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,601
But I didn't
want to get scared.
300
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,905
And I had no problem
with leprechauns.
301
00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,072
- Oh, great, great.
302
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,440
So you could sleep,
and I could...
303
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,209
Stay up all night waiting
for those little monsters
304
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,077
To come and take me
to their nest.
305
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,179
- Nest?
- That's right, nest.
306
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,648
- Hey, listen,
I'm sorry, okay?
307
00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:18,216
Don't think I didn't
hate myself for it.
308
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,450
Don't forget,
at that time,
309
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:24,489
I thought you might be
half spider.
310
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:29,327
When I was running
information to dad,
311
00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:30,428
I think the guilt
was the cause
312
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:33,031
Of my occasional bedwetting.
313
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:36,067
- All right. Look, whatever.
It was a long time ago.
314
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,435
- Yeah, but it was wrong.
315
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,303
I mean, we're supposed
to stick together, right?
316
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:42,373
- Yeah, well, brothers do those
kind of things; it's all right.
317
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:47,245
- Not good ones.
318
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,047
- All right, listen.
319
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,715
I got to tell you something.
320
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,417
You never wet your bed.
321
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:56,187
I used to--
322
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,323
I used to wait
until you fell asleep,
323
00:15:58,325 --> 00:15:59,157
And then I'd pour
a glass of water
324
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:02,226
In there with you.
325
00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:04,495
- What?
326
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,663
- What?
327
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,499
- [chuckling]
328
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:13,004
- I-I didn't want to always
look like a baby, you know,
329
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:15,540
Calling for mom
when I was scared, and...
330
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,508
I knew that she would come
if you wet your bed.
331
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:23,214
- I always wondered why it was
up by your shoulders.
332
00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:31,322
- I'm sorry, man.
333
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,225
I'm just--I'm sorry.
Look, I was six.
334
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,027
I was under
a lot of pressure.
335
00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:38,463
- Oh-ho, you just did that,
raymond,
336
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:42,233
'cause you wanted
to be near your mommy.
337
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:45,103
- Well, ain't this
a kick in the ass?
338
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:50,241
Everyone was so quick
to blame me for all of this,
339
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,110
But look at you.
340
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:56,280
You've all got blood
on your hands.
341
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:57,682
Now I'm going back to bed,
342
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:03,021
And I'm going to sleep
the sleep of the just.
343
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,590
- All right, all right,
I'm--I'm going home.
344
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:06,758
I'm going home.
345
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,527
This little exorcism
wore me out.
346
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,462
Robert, come on,
you can sleep on my couch.
347
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,531
- Good night, girls!
348
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,433
- Come on, let's go.
349
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,734
- All right, good night, boys.
Sleep tight.
350
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,503
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
351
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,271
Not that there are bedbugs.
352
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:21,773
You're perfectly safe.
353
00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:23,508
But make sure you lock
your door...
354
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,809
- Got it, ma.
- Because in the neighborho--
355
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,611
- Yeah, we know,
thanks.
356
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,112
Hey, come on, come on,
come on, come on.
357
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:29,714
- Whoa, what are you doing?
358
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,449
- Mom's making herself tea.
359
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,085
We can get dad.
Come on, let's go.
360
00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:38,689
He's still
in the bathroom, man.
361
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:39,757
Come on, go. Go.
362
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,225
- This is so great.
363
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,460
- Yeah, get in,
get in, get in.
364
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,370
Ha!
Little payback time.
365
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,439
- Yeah.
So how should we do it?
366
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:56,441
- We'll just--
we'll just jump out and scream.
367
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,409
- Yeah.
Like, "we're going to get you,"
368
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,811
Or "we need blood,"
or "I got a hammer!"
369
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:01,345
- No, no, no, no.
370
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:04,082
Just--just scream,
like "yah!"
371
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,316
- Yeah, good.
Yah!
372
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:08,219
Whoo!
- No whoo, just yah!
373
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,654
- Yeah.
Yah!
374
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:10,855
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
375
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,691
- This is so fun,
you know?
376
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,293
We got to do this
more often.
377
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,828
- Yeah, we should do this a lot.
- Yeah.
378
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:18,463
- Maybe the more
we do it to him,
379
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:20,531
The less that we'll be scared.
- Yeah, like therapy.
380
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,600
- Yeah, something like that,
something like that.
381
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,236
Next time, we should
get him in the shower.
382
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,437
[frank clears his throat]
383
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:31,809
- There he is!
- Shut up, shut up, shut up.
384
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,344
- Okay, now when do we go?
385
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:34,812
- Shut up.
We just wait.
386
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,514
Wait until he gets into bed.
387
00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:39,884
- Yeah, good.
Get comfortable there, old man.
388
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:43,621
Nice...
Nice and relaxed.
389
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:47,158
- Come on, marie.
What's with that face?
390
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,693
They're going to be fine.
391
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:51,162
- Oh, no, mom.
392
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:53,531
- Oh, I don't want
to scare her.
393
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,399
- Damn it.
394
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:56,467
- Let's just walk out
right now.
395
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,504
- No. No! No.
No, we'll wait.
396
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,372
We'll wait
till they fall asleep,
397
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:04,742
Then we'll sneak out.
Damn.
398
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,345
- Hey, you know what
we haven't done in a while?
399
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,253
- What?
What haven't they done?
400
00:19:17,789 --> 00:19:19,590
- Come over here.
401
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:29,600
- Oh, no.
402
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:33,304
Ohh, n-n-n-n-n-no.
403
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,472
- No, please don't, don't.
404
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,607
Don't--
don't go over there, ma.
405
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,943
Don't go, don't go, don't go,
don't go, don't go.
406
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:44,348
- Ohh, yeah!
407
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,217
- We're in here!
We're in here!
408
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,285
But, hey, we didn't
see anything.
409
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,653
Both:
We didn't see anything.
410
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:51,622
- We were in the closet.
We were in the closet.
411
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:59,530
- Scared ya, huh?
412
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,667
- You're a sick man!
413
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:04,535
- What the hell
is wrong with you?
414
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,238
- [chuckling]
415
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,340
- I'll tell ya--I'll tell ya
what's wrong with him.
416
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:11,275
He's a sick man!
You're a sick man!
417
00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:12,410
- Sick man!
418
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,212
- You tried
to scare me, huh?
419
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:18,216
Well, you mess with the bull,
you get the horns.
420
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:19,750
- What's going on here?
421
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,786
- Got 'em again, marie.
Terrified 'em.
422
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,721
- Oh, frank.
423
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,489
- He's a sick man, ma.
424
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:29,393
- I know.
Did he scare ya?
425
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,529
- Uh-huh.
- Aw, come on.
426
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,564
Let's go downstairs.
All right?
427
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,399
I'll make you boys
some cocoa,
428
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,834
And I still have
the butter cookies,
429
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:39,503
And everything will be fine,
honey.
430
00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:41,372
I'll protect you
from your mean, old daddy.
431
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:44,375
Isn't this nice?
I love it.
432
00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:47,478
- Scared myself
a little.
30419
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