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1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,773
- [whistling]
2
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:10,342
- You're pretty happy,
aren't you?
3
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,512
- [whistles]
4
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:17,282
Got to go to florida
next week to cover the pga.
5
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:21,520
Might have to play
a few rounds myself.
6
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,722
What is not
to be happy about?
7
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:28,227
- Oh, how about
my growing resentment?
8
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:31,730
- Well, you have your hobby,
and I have mine.
9
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:33,699
[clattering]
10
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,601
No!
11
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,036
Aaah!
12
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,673
Sweetheart.
13
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,609
[groaning]
14
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:49,782
I know you're up there.
15
00:00:49,784 --> 00:00:51,617
Come down here.
16
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,752
Come down now!
17
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,287
Come on, come on.
18
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,556
No.
This isn't going to happen.
19
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,324
No smiling.
Get on the couch.
20
00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:00,392
Get on the couch.
We have to talk.
21
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,560
You understand?
22
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,561
We're going to have
a long talk here.
23
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,296
Get over here.
Up on the couch.
24
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:06,098
This can't happen.
25
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,633
This can't happen.
No, over here.
26
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:08,801
Hey--hey, you!
On the couch.
27
00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:11,170
- [laughs]
- no, don't laugh.
28
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,638
Listen.
Turn around.
29
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:13,772
No.
30
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:16,141
It's not funny.
31
00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:17,776
Do you know that
that's daddy's golf bag?
32
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:20,379
Both: Yeah.
- Yeah, you do.
33
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,281
Well, do you know
what titanium is?
34
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:24,817
Both: Yeah.
35
00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:27,319
- Do you know
how hard daddy works?
36
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:29,555
Both: Yeah.
37
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:32,224
- Don't you know golf
is all daddy has?
38
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:33,725
Both: Yeah.
39
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,327
- Yeah, smile.
40
00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:37,129
It's going to be funny
when we send you a postcard
41
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:39,231
From disneyland,
isn't it?
42
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:45,871
Yeah.
43
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:48,407
- Okay, right
down here, boys.
44
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:51,477
- Okay.
Well, don't push, ray.
45
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:54,246
- You gave me
the heavy end.
46
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,247
Hold on.
Hold on.
47
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:56,815
- You got it?
48
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,384
Ma, why do you need
all this fabric?
49
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:00,752
- I got it real cheap,
and I'm going to make
50
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:03,122
Beautiful curtains
for your apartment.
51
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,290
- Great, ma.
52
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,159
Is it flame retardant?
53
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:07,860
- Of course.
54
00:02:07,862 --> 00:02:10,829
- Just my luck.
55
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,865
- All right, come on, ma.
Where do you want it?
56
00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:15,634
- Okay, open up that ping-pong
table and lay it out,
57
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:16,902
And be very careful.
58
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,504
Make sure
you wipe off the table
59
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:19,805
Before you put it down.
60
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,806
- Yep.
61
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:31,316
- What was that?
62
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,519
- Nothing, ma!
63
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:36,288
Robert just fell!
64
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:39,658
- On the fabric?
65
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,226
- No!
66
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:44,296
- All right.
67
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,231
- Well, there it is.
68
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:48,500
- Oh, god.
69
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,668
- What's the problem?
70
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:52,771
- I'm just thinking
about my childhood
71
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:55,607
And dad playing us
in ping-pong.
72
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,176
- Oh, yeah.
73
00:02:57,178 --> 00:03:01,914
- Yeah, and the rhyming
of the scores.
74
00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:05,617
- "10 serving 3.
You can't compete with me."
75
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,686
- "14 serving 1.
76
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,388
You're really
not my son."
77
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,860
- How about this move
78
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:15,961
Every time
he'd score a point?
79
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,930
[humming]
80
00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:20,265
- Yeah, and then he'd do
that voodoo.
81
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:21,934
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
82
00:03:21,936 --> 00:03:25,637
Yeah, get away.
I know.
83
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:28,407
- He made you cry.
84
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:29,441
- He--I didn't cry.
85
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,677
- You cried.
86
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:33,345
- The ball hit me
in the eye.
87
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,680
- Then you cried.
88
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,882
- Yeah, my body
was reacting.
89
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,550
- To the desire to cry.
90
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:43,222
- Come on.
Let's pick it up.
91
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:44,790
[groaning]
92
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,692
Who was it
who finally beat dad, huh?
93
00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,293
Yeah.
94
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:50,229
Yeah, who was that?
95
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,730
- Of course.
96
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,900
The first
of the many raymond glories.
97
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,969
- Got him
with my ray-man spin ball.
98
00:03:56,971 --> 00:03:58,971
Voom!
99
00:03:58,973 --> 00:04:02,307
- Yeah.
Dad was so crushed,
100
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:03,942
So sad.
101
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:04,943
- Yeah.
102
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:07,746
That was great.
103
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,616
I didn't have to play ping-pong
with him ever again.
104
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,651
- You talking about playing
ping-pong with your father?
105
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:13,952
I always hated that.
106
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:16,488
He made my raymond cry.
107
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,023
- Ah!
108
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,558
- I didn't cry.
109
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,892
- Oh, honey.
110
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,462
Your big brown eyes
getting watery,
111
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,464
The little sniffles.
112
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,499
You were so precious.
113
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,534
- I was not.
114
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:32,938
- Ah, raymond.
115
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:36,875
- Ah, I'm glad he finally
let you win that time.
116
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,543
- What?
117
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:39,778
- Now, how would
you and debra
118
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,580
Like a bedspread
made out of this?
119
00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:43,548
- No, no, ma, ma.
I beat dad, okay?
120
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,917
I beat him.
Don't you remember?
121
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,719
When I was in eighth grade;
it was in March,
122
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,288
And I came home,
and I put my sneakers on,
123
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,555
And I had
a fluffernutter.
124
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:51,490
I remember.
I remember.
125
00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:52,891
I remember the fluffernutter
126
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,593
Because I thought it would
help me beat him.
127
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:56,395
But after I won, I realized
it had nothing to do
128
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:58,463
With the fluffernutter.
129
00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,698
Ma?
130
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,533
- Whatever you say,
dear.
131
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,569
- So dad let you win.
132
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:05,570
Interesting.
133
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:07,572
- No, he didn't.
134
00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:09,908
No, he did not.
It was me, pal.
135
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,344
I was on.
I was on that day.
136
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,846
- Yeah.
- Dad?
137
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,081
- Sorry, ma.
138
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,482
- What?
Where are you going?
139
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,784
- Can't miss this!
140
00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:22,788
- Hey, dad,
I want to ask you something.
141
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:25,390
- I'm watching here.
- Hey, dad.
142
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:26,692
The last time you
played ping-pong,
143
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:27,993
Did you let ray
beat you?
144
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,795
- Yeah.
Quiet.
145
00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:31,463
- Ah!
146
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,098
- You--you did not, dad!
147
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,833
- Hey, give me that!
148
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,368
- Dad, I beat you.
149
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,337
Don't you remember
the ray-man spin ball?
150
00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:42,441
- Ray, I learned to play
in korea,
151
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:45,777
From koreans.
152
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:49,648
You think some punk kid's
going to actually beat me?
153
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,116
- No, dad.
You were trying to win.
154
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,851
You were sweating
and panting.
155
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,786
- I'm a damn fine actor.
156
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:00,959
- I saw your face
when I won.
157
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:01,760
- You mean this face?
158
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:10,736
"I'm so sad
and weak and old.
159
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:14,573
There's no way I could have
returned ray's spinny ball."
160
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,514
- You let me win?
161
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,617
- Morning, sunshine.
162
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,453
Now can I watch tv?
163
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:29,755
- You never let me win.
164
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,823
- You never cried.
165
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,959
- I didn't cry.
- You cried.
166
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,527
- I want a rematch.
167
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:37,129
- I'd be all for it
168
00:06:37,131 --> 00:06:39,064
If there was any chance
of making a man out of you,
169
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,434
But that horse
has long since left the barn.
170
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:44,069
- Yeah.
171
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:47,406
- Yeah, well, that--that horse
is going to kick your butt.
172
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:48,840
Come on.
173
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,675
Come on,
if you let me win back then,
174
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,978
You should have no problem
beating me now, right?
175
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,746
Unless...
176
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,816
- What are you saying?
177
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,618
- It's what I'm not saying.
178
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,491
- Okay, tough guy.
179
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:07,159
You're on.
180
00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:08,827
- Good.
181
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,429
- You got the balls?
182
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,597
- Yeah, don't worry
about me, pal, okay?
183
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,200
Oh, yeah.
We got to buy some balls.
184
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,708
- Tomorrow then.
185
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:24,910
- Tomorrow.
186
00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:33,718
- Can I play winner?
187
00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:38,557
[ping-pong ball bouncing]
188
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,902
- Ray, come on.
189
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,704
- You're still up?
190
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,806
- No.
Now I'm up.
191
00:07:56,709 --> 00:07:57,776
You know--
192
00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:00,245
You know what
would be louder?
193
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:04,816
If you hit the ball
directly against my head.
194
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:07,252
Come on, come on.
Come to bed.
195
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:09,788
- Sorry.
No sex before a game.
196
00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:16,161
- Yeah, that's not a problem.
Come on.
197
00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:18,997
- I need to practice.
198
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,665
- I need to sleep, honey.
199
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,235
I got to take the kids
to the doctor in the morning,
200
00:08:23,237 --> 00:08:25,971
And then I need to see
a lawyer about divorcing you.
201
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,138
- No, no, no.
202
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,640
You know what,
this is good.
203
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,108
You can help me here.
204
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,977
The key to my father's
whole game is trash talk,
205
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,545
All right, so just start
mouthing off.
206
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,213
Just call me nancy.
207
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,648
- Ray.
208
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,216
- No, no.
Nancy, or sally.
209
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:40,886
Or pansy--
pansy's always good.
210
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,721
- Listen, this shouldn't be
that big of a deal.
211
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,289
Your father has always
given you a hard time.
212
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,057
You should be
used to it by now.
213
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,158
- I am.
214
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,793
Look,
the thing is this.
215
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:51,696
I beat him, okay,
and I always had that on him.
216
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,299
If I didn't really win
that game,
217
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:58,203
I'm just 12 years old
crying in the basement.
218
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:01,006
- I thought a ball hit you
in the eye.
219
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,678
You want to talk about it?
220
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,146
- No!
221
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,848
No, I would like you
to support me on this.
222
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,149
- Why?
223
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,051
- Oh, nothing I do
is important, right?
224
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,587
I'm just here
to support you.
225
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:18,089
"oh, ray, you got to stick up
for me with your parents.
226
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,292
"ray, your parents
are bothering me.
227
00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:21,927
Ray, your parents--
they're in my face!"
228
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,094
Yeah, okay.
229
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,697
But the minute
I need you--
230
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:26,898
- You're pathetic.
231
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,100
- All right, forget it.
Forget it.
232
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,168
- No, come on,
come on.
233
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,572
All right.
You're pathetic, nancy.
234
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:36,708
- Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
235
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,577
- Yeah, look at you.
236
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,111
You're soft.
You're weak.
237
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,146
- Yeah, this is good.
238
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:44,015
- Yeah.
Oh, you're a crybaby.
239
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,750
- Easy.
- Sorry.
240
00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:57,062
- Raymond,
I just want you to know
241
00:09:57,064 --> 00:10:00,198
That your father
is a very sore loser.
242
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:04,636
But when he wins,
he's a gloating moron.
243
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:05,971
Here.
244
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:08,707
I brought you some lasagna
for strength.
245
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:09,975
- Thanks, mom.
- Okay.
246
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,309
- Maybe after
the game though.
247
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,878
I just had
a fluffernutter sandwich.
248
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,348
- Hey, I want you to know, ray,
I'm rooting for you too.
249
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:17,749
- Oh, thanks, robert.
250
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,351
- Don't get all choked up.
251
00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:21,786
It's more of an anti-dad thing
than pro-you.
252
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:28,226
- Hear ye, hear ye.
253
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:29,828
Will all women
and children
254
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,764
Please retreat
to a safe distance...
255
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:36,835
Except for
my little girl raymond.
256
00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:41,906
One butt-shellacking
coming up.
257
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:47,045
- Go get him, dad.
258
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,346
- What the hell's that?
259
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,682
- I got caught up
in the hype.
260
00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:55,887
- Marie, get a mop,
'cause after I play ray,
261
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,757
The floor's going
to be soaked with tears.
262
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,792
- Yeah, but they're
going to be your tears
263
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,761
'cause it's going to be
your funeral.
264
00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:08,366
- If it's my funeral,
how could I be crying?
265
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,370
Nice try.
266
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,107
- I thought it
was good, raymond.
267
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,309
- Ooh, look,
ray's got a cheerleader.
268
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,211
Warn me when you're
going to do a split.
269
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,686
- All right,
here's the ball.
270
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:31,423
Let's keep it clean.
No biting.
271
00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:33,091
- Volley for serve?
272
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,926
- No, go ahead.
You take it, dad.
273
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:36,394
- Oh, thank you.
274
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,997
Zero serving zero.
275
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,299
Ray can kiss my rear-o.
276
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:47,739
- Come on.
277
00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:51,042
- The voodoo.
- Yeah, okay.
278
00:11:52,945 --> 00:11:54,446
- Point: Dad.
279
00:11:54,448 --> 00:11:56,915
- [humming]
280
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,917
- Maybe you should take
a bite of the lasagna.
281
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,819
- I'm fine.
I'm fine.
282
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:01,886
- Then take a bite
out of this.
283
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,054
One serving zip.
284
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,924
I see a quivering
lower lip.
285
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,060
- Point: Dad.
286
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,464
- [humming]
287
00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:16,000
I haven't danced this much
since my prom.
288
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,235
- Yeah, yeah.
It's like vaudeville.
289
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,471
Just hit the damn ball.
290
00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:21,072
- Two serving nada.
291
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,274
I'm ashamed to be
his fadda.
292
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,843
- [laughs]
293
00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:26,211
Ow!
294
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:30,081
Point: Dad!
295
00:12:33,285 --> 00:12:34,953
You did that on purpose.
296
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:37,155
- No, I did not.
Shut up, robert.
297
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,289
- Don't tell your brother
to shut up.
298
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,357
- Just serve, dad.
299
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,359
- All right.
300
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:44,429
- Point: Dad.
301
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:47,966
- Hee hee hee.
That time, I didn't even rhyme.
302
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,235
- Yeah, all right.
Come on, just play.
303
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:53,338
- That doesn't exactly sound
like a winner, does it, robert?
304
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:54,839
- I don't believe so, dad.
305
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:03,882
- Aah!
- Point: Dad.
306
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,083
- All right,
all right.
307
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:07,552
- No, no, no, no.
Fight back.
308
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,454
Talk dirty
to your father.
309
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,222
- What?
310
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,358
- Say "ass."
311
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,929
- Ma, come on.
312
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,098
- Come on, ray, you going
to talk some more trash to me?
313
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,299
- No--
I don't know.
314
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,234
I'm distracted by the shine
off your scalp.
315
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:27,438
[laughter]
316
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,576
- That's a good one,
raymond.
317
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:34,012
'cause you're bald.
318
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:43,288
- Take all the skin
off my head,
319
00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,590
It still wouldn't
cover ray's nose.
320
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,559
- Ooh.
321
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,294
- Yeah, well,
I wish you would
322
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,895
'cause then I wouldn't have
to smell your head
323
00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:52,897
Without the skin on it.
324
00:13:58,204 --> 00:13:59,904
- What's that
supposed to mean?
325
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:01,472
- It means shut up, robert.
That's what it means.
326
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,141
- I don't like that, raymond.
- No? Well, you too.
327
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:04,209
- Oh.
- Ooh.
328
00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:06,010
- Sorry.
Sorry!
329
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,278
- [scoffs]
330
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:15,420
- I actually liked you
on the other side better
331
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:19,090
Because the tilt of the basement
was working in my favor.
332
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:33,304
Your serve, nancy.
- Yeah?
333
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:36,641
Oh, nancy.
Too bad I trained for nancy.
334
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:37,575
- Point: Dad.
335
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,143
- Damn it!
336
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,145
- [laughs]
337
00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:43,915
If you have a point in you,
you better break it out,
338
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:47,418
'cause you lose this one,
seven-nothing, game over.
339
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:51,923
Skunk-ity skunk skunk skunk.
340
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,025
Ray, are you crying?
341
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,627
- Yeah.
I'm not crying.
342
00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:58,496
- I see moisture, crybaby.
343
00:14:58,498 --> 00:14:59,530
- It's sweat,
all right?
344
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:00,565
Just leave me alone.
Ball.
345
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,900
- [laughs]
346
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:04,636
[fake crying]
347
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:09,340
- Zero serving six.
348
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,109
You're fat, and you smell.
349
00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:19,417
- Point, match: Dad.
350
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,657
- You know, I got to hand it
to you, ray.
351
00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:28,293
That's the best
I've ever seen you play.
352
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,428
I almost had to use
my good hand.
353
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:33,431
[laughs]
354
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,100
Lemonade, marie.
355
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,468
- Yeah, well, now you know
what it feels like.
356
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,304
- What?
357
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,405
- Now you know
what it feels like
358
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:41,539
When someone lets you win.
359
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:44,409
- [gasps]
360
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:46,177
- What are you saying?
361
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,946
- Nothing.
I let you win.
362
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,213
- No, you didn't.
363
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:51,149
I could tell
you were trying to win.
364
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,717
- Yeah.
Okay, all right.
365
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,552
- Yeah, I know people.
366
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:55,954
I know how they act.
367
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,689
You were not acting.
368
00:15:57,691 --> 00:15:59,257
- Oh, what do you--
oh, yeah, you mean this?
369
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,125
You mean this?
"damn it!"
370
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,260
"ahh!"
371
00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:05,396
Like that?
372
00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:08,299
- That's it.
373
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,400
We're going again right now.
374
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,468
- No, no!
375
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,071
- Come on.
Serve.
376
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,473
- Oh, boy, that doesn't sound
like a winner, does it, robert?
377
00:16:17,676 --> 00:16:20,044
- I don't know what
I'm supposed to do here.
378
00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:27,151
- You admit that I beat you
right now.
379
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,619
- I would if it was true.
380
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,054
- Come on.
Serve the damn ball!
381
00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:31,990
- No!
- Do what I say!
382
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,024
- No, I'm not!
383
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,297
[door slams]
384
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:42,033
- There you go.
Not bad, huh?
385
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:45,003
- Raymond, that was terrible.
- What?
386
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,205
- You can't take
a man's dignity away like that.
387
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:50,742
- Dignity?
Dad?
388
00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:52,310
Come on.
389
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,746
The man mows his lawn
in his underwear.
390
00:16:56,715 --> 00:17:00,585
And he cleans his ear
with his pen.
391
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:03,788
He rhymed "zero"
with "rear-o."
392
00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:11,396
- So, ma,
quick game?
393
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:20,371
- You know,
I want to say one thing.
394
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,306
Anytime we've ever played
ping-pong,
395
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:25,543
Or played anything,
you've always been...
396
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,678
- Better?
397
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,814
- A jerk.
398
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:32,083
- A jerk?
399
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,718
I'm not a jerk.
400
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,453
I'm a survivor!
401
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:40,258
- No, jerk,
I think, works.
402
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:43,127
- Let me tell you something.
403
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,262
When I came back
from korea,
404
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:47,765
I had no money
and no skills.
405
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,600
Sure, I was good
with a bayonet,
406
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:51,169
But you can't put that
on a resume.
407
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,304
It puts people off!
408
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:57,241
I had nothing!
409
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,609
- You had mom.
410
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,814
Sorry.
411
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:06,717
- I worked in a restaurant,
a meat-packing plant,
412
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,286
A bowling alley,
413
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,687
And they all ended
the same way
414
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:13,191
With the same
lame-ass excuse.
415
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,725
"broke too many dishes."
416
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:17,495
"too slow
with the giblets."
417
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,464
"I'm sorry.
You've been replaced
418
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,766
By a machine
that rolls the ball back."
419
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:27,371
- You were an accountant.
420
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:30,374
- Yeah, by the time
you came along,
421
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:32,810
I was an accountant.
422
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,779
Not even an accountant.
423
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:35,847
Bookkeeper.
424
00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:37,515
- So?
So what?
425
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:38,783
That's a good career.
426
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,818
- That's a job!
427
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,820
You think I liked it?
428
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:45,456
Sitting there all day?
429
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,826
Then the traffic,
the idiots.
430
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:53,231
That is life!
431
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:56,734
And you've got
to be tough!
432
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,270
I tried to show you that.
433
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:03,441
- With...Ping-pong?
434
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:08,246
- I was good at ping-pong.
435
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:11,215
I never lost a game.
436
00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:13,651
- So this is all
for my own good--
437
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:17,455
The taunting, the trash talk,
the dancing.
438
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,624
All that is to help me?
439
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:23,261
- You're welcome.
440
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:26,397
- So if you were trying
to help me back then,
441
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,366
Then why did
we stop playing?
442
00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:33,638
- Because you beat me.
443
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,306
- I did?
444
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,308
- Yeah.
445
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:41,712
- You didn't let me win?
446
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,447
- No.
447
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:53,257
- Well, look, if it makes you
feel any better,
448
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:55,226
You just beat me.
449
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:56,460
- You're just saying that.
450
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:58,763
- No, I'm not.
It's true.
451
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:00,498
I was trying my best
down there,
452
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,967
And you skunked me.
453
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:08,339
- I knew it!
454
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,775
- Oh, come on.
- I'm still number one.
455
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,243
[humming]
456
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,744
- All, right, dad.
What about the tough life
457
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:14,812
And you trying
to make me better?
458
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:17,615
- Meant every word.
459
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,451
- Okay, so, ah,
another lesson, right?
460
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:21,852
- Watch and learn.
461
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,488
[humming]
462
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,726
- All right,
here we go, cubby.
463
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:32,730
- Trash talk allowed,
right?
464
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,999
- Bring it on.
- All right.
465
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,901
Zero serving zero.
466
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,669
You experimented
in camp.
30719
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