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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,713 Calvin, this place is a real hot spot. 2 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,100 They're known for their Rosé Lemonades. 3 00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:16,120 Did you order these for our wives 4 00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:19,125 or is the cast of Sex and the City on the way? 5 00:00:19,130 --> 00:00:21,660 No, Calvin, these are for us. 6 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:22,759 I had a rough day at work today. 7 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,040 We are about to get sorority girl wasted. 8 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:29,001 Nobody's getting wasted off this Kool-Aid. 9 00:00:29,010 --> 00:00:30,209 Whoa. 10 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,220 Oh, my God. 11 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,250 Take my keys. I, like, can't drive. 12 00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:39,417 Calvin, look. 13 00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:41,834 It's Jerome Bettis. 14 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:43,792 He's an NFL legend, and he's just sitting there 15 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,875 drinking a Rosé Lemonade. 16 00:00:45,890 --> 00:00:47,553 Look at that. 17 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:50,040 Stars, they're just like us. 18 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:54,000 Dave, that is not Jerome Bettis. 19 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:57,823 Oh, my God, I was right. That's Jerome Bettis. 20 00:00:57,830 --> 00:00:59,125 I'll be right back. 21 00:01:01,190 --> 00:01:02,375 Jerome Bettis? 22 00:01:02,380 --> 00:01:04,084 My man! 23 00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:05,480 Hey, look. You don't know me, 24 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:08,084 but I'm married to your old friend, Tina Plummer. 25 00:01:08,085 --> 00:01:09,625 Lil' Tee Tee? 26 00:01:09,630 --> 00:01:12,292 Small world! How is she? 27 00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:14,243 Oh, well, she's Big Tee Tee now. 28 00:01:14,250 --> 00:01:16,540 Not... not big big. 29 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,780 But old. But not old old. 30 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,060 She's fine. 31 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:24,209 Jerome? 32 00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:26,375 Dave Johnson. That's on the house. 33 00:01:26,380 --> 00:01:30,249 Looks like we, uh, all have the same taste buds. 34 00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:33,000 Careful, these lemonades sneak up on you. 35 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:37,834 Yeah, but, uh, athletes like us can handle our juice, right? 36 00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:42,000 How much you bench? 185? 37 00:01:43,230 --> 00:01:44,834 In the fifth grade. 38 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:47,873 Hey, guys. 39 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:49,119 Jerome? 40 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:52,500 If it isn't Lil' Tee Tee from the LBC? 41 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,060 Romy, Romy. 42 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,749 Well, you know I'm straight out of Compton. 43 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,883 - You've seen the movie. - Yeah, yeah. 44 00:01:58,890 --> 00:02:00,753 Calvin... 45 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:04,150 Hey, Gemma. Dave Johnson. Kalamazoo born and raised. 46 00:02:04,170 --> 00:02:06,410 Okay. I guess I'm driving. 47 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:07,459 Oh, wow. 48 00:02:08,140 --> 00:02:09,790 So, uh, what are you doing here? 49 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,301 Well, I'm in town on business. 50 00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:13,084 Uh, I've got a shoot over at the Rose Bowl tomorrow. 51 00:02:13,085 --> 00:02:15,271 - Oh. - Oh. You know, that's by our house. 52 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,673 Tina and I would love for you to come over for dinner. 53 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,673 Oh, well, I'm sure Jerome is busy. 54 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,400 Well, actually, I am free tomorrow night. 55 00:02:22,420 --> 00:02:25,584 You know, room service... it gets real old, real fast. 56 00:02:25,590 --> 00:02:27,040 - Ah. - Well, there it is. 57 00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:29,330 Tomorrow night, it's going down! 58 00:02:30,380 --> 00:02:32,321 Looks like we're getting on The Bus! 59 00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:35,584 Next stop: Touchdown! 60 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:42,631 Sorry, but my friend is sorority girl wasted. 61 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,820 Okay, that's enough for you, Kelly-Jo. 62 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,163 Come on. 63 00:02:46,170 --> 00:02:50,360 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 64 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:58,375 Ooh, Jerome was so cute in his Geico ad. 65 00:02:58,380 --> 00:03:02,083 Mm, back in the day, I would have let him bundle my policies. 66 00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:06,159 Aw, why didn't you two date? 67 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,293 Oh, we did. 68 00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:12,863 Every summer in high school, I would visit my granny in Detroit. 69 00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:15,380 So I met Jerome in my senior year, 70 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,542 and, uh, you know, we had a cute little teenage romance. 71 00:03:18,550 --> 00:03:20,584 Aw. Does Calvin know? 72 00:03:20,590 --> 00:03:23,420 No. I would've told him, but when we started dating, 73 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,542 he had a "Don't Ask, Leave the Past in the Past" rule. 74 00:03:26,550 --> 00:03:28,181 Ah. 75 00:03:28,190 --> 00:03:29,683 When we started dating, 76 00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:32,460 Dave had a "Do Ask, Do Tell" rule. 77 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,084 He even told me his first crush was Nancy Reagan. 78 00:03:36,510 --> 00:03:38,042 And yet you still married him. 79 00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:40,293 Mm-hmm. 80 00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:43,180 Eventually, though, his honesty policy grew on me. 81 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,040 He's the ultimate open book. 82 00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:47,020 He'll tell anybody anything. 83 00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:48,042 - Hmm. - Watch. 84 00:03:48,043 --> 00:03:49,320 Dave? 85 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:51,709 Yes, sweetie? 86 00:03:51,710 --> 00:03:53,334 How many people have you slept with? 87 00:03:53,340 --> 00:03:54,709 - Six. - Three. 88 00:03:55,940 --> 00:03:58,330 Six? You told me it was three. 89 00:03:58,340 --> 00:03:59,500 Did I? 90 00:04:00,260 --> 00:04:02,500 Wait, did you lie about your number? 91 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:04,343 Hmm. 92 00:04:04,350 --> 00:04:05,750 Did I? 93 00:04:08,210 --> 00:04:09,630 That's the same voice you had 94 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:12,699 when I asked you if you dinged my car last week. 95 00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:14,084 Is it? 96 00:04:14,090 --> 00:04:16,210 Yes, it is. 97 00:04:20,290 --> 00:04:22,120 All right, you got it, little man? 98 00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:23,292 Yeah, I got it. 99 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,703 - I said, you got it, little man? - Yeah, I got it! 100 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:27,703 All right. One, two, three. 101 00:04:27,710 --> 00:04:29,625 Yeah, I don't got it. 102 00:04:29,630 --> 00:04:30,875 D'oh! 103 00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:33,909 Hey, Marty, how come you're not helping us get ready 104 00:04:33,910 --> 00:04:35,960 - for Poker Night? - Well, I am, man. 105 00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:37,460 I'm busy making snacks. 106 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,000 Uh, yeah, that'll be three large pizzas. 107 00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:41,540 Ooh, and some mozzarella sticks. 108 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,209 Okay, yeah, and-and two dozen mozzarella sticks. 109 00:04:44,210 --> 00:04:46,000 Yeah, Malcolm, give me your debit card. 110 00:04:46,010 --> 00:04:47,459 What? 111 00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:49,375 I didn't budget for no damn mozzarella sticks. 112 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,260 And yet you got enough money in your budget 113 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,834 for a Captain Kirk Snuggie. 114 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,610 It was a collector's edition. 115 00:04:56,620 --> 00:04:57,667 That's an investment. 116 00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:01,930 Man, playing poker is so much more funner 117 00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:03,667 than doing my English homework. 118 00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,375 More funner? 119 00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:06,799 Yeah, you might want to try "more harder" 120 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,090 on that homework, brother. 121 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,110 And, yeah, uh, listen. 122 00:05:11,130 --> 00:05:14,860 We appreciate you helping us set up, but tonight's for adults only. 123 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,000 I'm sorry, Grover. 124 00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:17,560 Aw, come on. 125 00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:19,625 We got mozzarella sticks coming. 126 00:05:19,630 --> 00:05:22,000 Ooh. Hey, you know what? I'll save you some. 127 00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,453 Fine. 128 00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:26,084 Didn't want to come to your awesome party anyway. 129 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,620 Look, oh, well. These poker nights can get kind of wild, Marty. 130 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,471 It's no place for kids. 131 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,280 And maybe not for you, either. 132 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:38,334 Yeah. Last time, you lost $100. 133 00:05:38,340 --> 00:05:40,579 Yeah, but this time, I'm prepared. 134 00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:41,940 I've created a foolproof system 135 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,040 that calculates the odds by running every permutation 136 00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:48,251 of any given hand to create an advantage in my favor. 137 00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,783 So, you're counting cards? 138 00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:51,375 Yeah, basically. 139 00:05:53,890 --> 00:05:55,100 It's, it's... 140 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,584 - Hey, dude, hey. - What's up, man? 141 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:57,609 - Good morning. - Hey! Sidney! 142 00:05:57,610 --> 00:05:59,740 Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. 143 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,040 Hey, this is my cousin, Whitney. 144 00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:02,563 She likes poker, so I brought her. 145 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,120 No, I brought you. 146 00:06:04,140 --> 00:06:05,209 I'm the one with the car. 147 00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:06,500 Oh. 148 00:06:06,510 --> 00:06:08,042 Why are you always telling family business? 149 00:06:08,043 --> 00:06:09,209 Why you always broke? 150 00:06:11,130 --> 00:06:12,584 Okay. 151 00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:14,200 Well, I got to warn you, Whitney, 152 00:06:14,220 --> 00:06:15,990 I have a math-based system that tells me 153 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,240 there's an 86% chance 154 00:06:17,260 --> 00:06:19,084 that I'm going to take 93% of your money. 155 00:06:19,090 --> 00:06:21,792 Well, I have a system that tells me you're 100% corny. 156 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,667 - What? - It's called my eyes. 157 00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:28,079 I like her. Yeah, she can stay. 158 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:33,681 Hey. Oh, yeah. 159 00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:34,843 Bam! 160 00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:37,334 1984 Pasadena High School. 161 00:06:37,340 --> 00:06:39,334 First Team All Conference. 162 00:06:39,340 --> 00:06:41,321 Jerome's gonna feel a lot more comfortable 163 00:06:41,330 --> 00:06:43,792 knowing he's not the only baller in the house. 164 00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:49,519 Well, I guess everyone can reach around your trophy 165 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,709 to get to my artichoke dip. 166 00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:56,280 Or we can just move your artichoke dip altogether. 167 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:03,110 Uh, guys, so excited to take a picture with The Bus 168 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:04,792 I changed three times. 169 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,560 Huh. Are you sure it wasn't six times? 170 00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:08,910 Hmm. 171 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,917 Was it? 172 00:07:12,810 --> 00:07:14,375 Romy! Welcome. 173 00:07:14,380 --> 00:07:15,760 - My man! - My man! 174 00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:17,753 - My man! - My man! 175 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:18,879 - My mickety, mickety... - All right, 176 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,319 who-who wants drinks? 177 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,334 My man? 178 00:07:24,070 --> 00:07:25,625 Do I smell artichoke dip? 179 00:07:25,630 --> 00:07:27,125 My man! 180 00:07:33,460 --> 00:07:35,450 Seven. 181 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,343 Just quit, Marty. 182 00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:40,113 You've already lost all your poker money. 183 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,413 Do not lose your pride. 184 00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:43,100 What? I... No! I can't be losing. 185 00:07:43,110 --> 00:07:44,542 I am a damn rocket scientist! 186 00:07:45,390 --> 00:07:47,583 Look, Marty, there's no shame in quitting. 187 00:07:47,590 --> 00:07:50,083 I do it with jobs all the time. 188 00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:53,159 I've won five hands. And you've won zero. 189 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,840 I'm no rocket scientist, 190 00:07:54,860 --> 00:07:56,820 but it sounds like you need to call Houston. 191 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,200 'Cause you got a problem. 192 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,533 Okay. 193 00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:03,020 I'll match all your chips. 194 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,084 My debit card. 195 00:08:04,090 --> 00:08:05,625 Whoa, whoa, wait. Marty! 196 00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:07,249 We haven't paid rent yet. What about your budget? 197 00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:08,542 Mind your own budget! 198 00:08:09,730 --> 00:08:11,360 I'm also putting in my Apple Watch. 199 00:08:11,375 --> 00:08:15,542 And I raise you my last chip. 200 00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:17,040 Okay. 201 00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:19,580 I call. 202 00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:24,875 Full house! King, seven. 203 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,060 Math wins again. 204 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,042 Or, perhaps, for the first time. 205 00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,542 Uh, not so fast. 206 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:32,749 According to my calculations, and this equation, 207 00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,631 "X" equals "you lose." 208 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,363 - What? - Four queens. 209 00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:39,720 Oh... 210 00:08:39,740 --> 00:08:43,750 How is this possible, that I'm losing to somebody related to Trey? 211 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,250 But, honestly, I'm surprised too. That's... 212 00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:47,542 Here you go, cuz. 213 00:08:47,550 --> 00:08:49,660 Thank you. Oh, look. 214 00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:52,080 Marty, my new Apple Watch says it's time for you to breathe. 215 00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:54,750 My mama gave me that watch. 216 00:08:58,510 --> 00:09:02,100 All right. I know they always called you The Bus, 217 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,453 but back in the day, 218 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,523 they called me The Truck 219 00:09:05,530 --> 00:09:07,863 'cause I used to haul ass into the end zone. 220 00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:10,084 - Ha! My man! - My man. 221 00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:11,163 Ha-ha. My man! 222 00:09:11,170 --> 00:09:13,050 My m... Dave, no. 223 00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:20,580 Hey, we're outta beer and I'm outta money. 224 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,584 And Mom wasn't lying about knowing Jerome Bettis. 225 00:09:23,590 --> 00:09:24,667 What? 226 00:09:24,670 --> 00:09:26,739 Yeah, well, Jerome and I go way back 227 00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:29,250 to a time when Amazon was just a jungle. 228 00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:33,084 Jerome, what was my mama like as a kid? 229 00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:35,300 Lil' Tee Tee? She was a lot of fun. 230 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,123 She was the best skater in our crew. 231 00:09:37,130 --> 00:09:38,361 Except for me, of course. 232 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:42,440 Man, please. You know, it's funny how you were selling Geico, 233 00:09:42,470 --> 00:09:44,300 but whenever you got on wheels, 234 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,625 your ass would crash. 235 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,829 You always did talk a lot of trash. 236 00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:50,089 Yeah, sure. 237 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,200 And I remember you loved the movies. 238 00:09:53,220 --> 00:09:56,090 That's why we spent a lot of time at the local drive-in. 239 00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:58,470 Drive-in? 240 00:09:58,490 --> 00:10:01,651 That requires a car. With you two alone in it. 241 00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:03,860 Yeah. And-and my car was so small, 242 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,200 she was practically sitting on my lap. 243 00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:09,042 E-Excuse me? 244 00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:11,893 Aw, it was like a, like a summer romance. 245 00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:13,363 Like... like Danny and Sandy. 246 00:10:13,370 --> 00:10:14,792 - Romance? - Well... 247 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,120 - Grease! We saw that together. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 248 00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:21,000 Oh, and Saturday Night Fever. It was a-a Travolta double feature. 249 00:10:21,010 --> 00:10:22,233 Double feature? 250 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,209 That's a awful lot of lap sitting. 251 00:10:25,670 --> 00:10:28,499 Wait a minute. Y... You guys weren't a couple, were you? 252 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:29,958 No, no, no, no, no. It was nothing like that. 253 00:10:29,959 --> 00:10:32,413 Uh, no, it was just a teenage fling. 254 00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:33,700 Fling? 255 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:36,130 My woman... 256 00:10:37,459 --> 00:10:39,042 ... and my man? 257 00:10:40,550 --> 00:10:42,625 Oh. Oh, man. 258 00:10:49,060 --> 00:10:51,381 - This was fun. - Good seeing you, Romy. 259 00:10:51,390 --> 00:10:52,459 Next time I'm in town, 260 00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:54,013 I'm taking you guys to dinner. 261 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,833 - See you, Tee Tee. - All right, now. 262 00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:57,000 Okay. 263 00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,660 I'm sure you've got to get going, man. 264 00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:01,900 Got one of those Hall of Fame meetings to get to. 265 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,749 And get that yellow jacket out of the dry cleaners, okay? 266 00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:07,140 So drive safe, my man. All right? 267 00:11:12,550 --> 00:11:15,917 - Well, that was embarrassing. - Well, yes, it was. 268 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,709 You embarrassed the hell out of me, Tina. 269 00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:19,792 I embarrassed you? 270 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,369 You were the one acting crazy tonight. 271 00:11:22,370 --> 00:11:23,399 Well, you would have, too, 272 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,178 if you would've learned what I just learned. 273 00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:26,792 I mean, who else did you date 274 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,363 that you forgot to mention? 275 00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:29,663 Barack Obama? 276 00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:32,633 Nelson Mandela? Ja Rule? 277 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,740 I didn't forget to mention anything. 278 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,840 I was just following your "Don't Ask, 279 00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:39,743 Leave the Past in the Past" rule. 280 00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,643 Well, if your past is all up in your house 281 00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:43,673 eating your food, then it's in the present. 282 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:47,792 You think it's easy for me to hear about you dating a famous athlete? 283 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,790 You were the one who came up with the "Don't Ask" rule. 284 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,780 Look, and don't think I didn't know 285 00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:56,334 you used to be Mr. Player Player. 286 00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:01,080 But did I make a big deal out of it? 287 00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,375 No, I did not. 288 00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:05,020 Well, I didn't make a big deal out of your past, either, Tina, 289 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,292 mainly because I didn't think you had one. 290 00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:11,520 Look at all this, Calvin. 291 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,320 Of course I had a past! 292 00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:18,600 What, you want me to start naming names? 293 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:19,873 - Okay, let me just... - Uh-uh. 294 00:12:19,874 --> 00:12:21,209 No, no, no. See, now you're going too far. 295 00:12:21,210 --> 00:12:22,670 No, you're the one tripping 296 00:12:22,690 --> 00:12:25,583 over somebody that I went to a movie with over 30 years ago, 297 00:12:25,590 --> 00:12:27,600 who you invited to dinner 298 00:12:27,610 --> 00:12:29,591 and then acted like a child. 299 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,700 - A child? - Yes. 300 00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:33,167 You know, nah, nah. Don't try to put this on me, Tina. 301 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,500 You know what, Calvin? I don't have time for this. 302 00:12:35,510 --> 00:12:37,292 Well, I didn't have time for it first. 303 00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:38,542 - Well, good! - Good! 304 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,010 - Good! - Good! 305 00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:42,750 And we cancelling Geico! 306 00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:54,334 I brought you the traditional husband peace offering. 307 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,960 Traditionally, that's jewelry. 308 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,370 But I'll take the pie anyway. 309 00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:05,893 Look... 310 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:08,499 I know it was stupid to lie about my number. 311 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:09,920 We had just started dating, 312 00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:11,580 and you were a little weirded out 313 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,440 about my "open book" policy. 314 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,360 You know, whenever we would open my book, 315 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:17,280 you wanted to burn all the pages. 316 00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:22,292 No, I just really liked the chapters about us. 317 00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:24,210 Exactly. And I didn't want to hurt you 318 00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:27,119 with my typical Dave "oversharing." 319 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,160 Especially when it was about all the women 320 00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:33,300 who turned me into, well, the sexual animal I am today. 321 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,300 An example of oversharing. 322 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:45,780 I admit, I used to get uncomfortable about your past. 323 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,660 But I'm much more secure now 324 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:50,240 because of our open-book policy. 325 00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:52,030 I'm just mad that you lied. 326 00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:56,417 I get that. And... and I'm sorry. 327 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,959 Thank you. 328 00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,520 And while we're here, 329 00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:03,210 you know, I did... to be totally transparent... remember 330 00:14:03,220 --> 00:14:05,051 a seventh girl. 331 00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,959 She's the one who taught me to... 332 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,667 Stop talking. 333 00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:15,861 Well, I should also be totally transparent. 334 00:14:15,870 --> 00:14:18,460 I might've spent some time in the Ozarks 335 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,320 with Justin Timberlake. 336 00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:26,625 Let's just say we were, uh, NSYNC. 337 00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:34,100 Okay. 338 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,250 That's funny! 339 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,520 Wait, for real? Justin? 340 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,292 Gemma, I gotta know. He's all over my playlist. 341 00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:54,230 - Ah... - Uh... 342 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,667 Hey, Dad. 343 00:14:55,670 --> 00:14:57,201 Did I catch you at a bad time? 344 00:14:57,210 --> 00:14:59,203 No, son. Never better. 345 00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:00,540 Good. 346 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:01,820 Uh... 347 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:02,880 I was a little embarrassed 348 00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:04,375 to bring this up in front of Jerome Bettis, but... 349 00:15:04,376 --> 00:15:06,243 Don't say that name in that house. 350 00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:08,913 Don't say that name on this porch. 351 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:10,600 Right. 352 00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:13,720 Well, see, I-I created this poker system 353 00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:15,413 based on math, that, uh... 354 00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:17,417 All right. How much did you lose? 355 00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:20,053 Let's just say I'd have to cash out some Bitcoin to make rent. 356 00:15:20,060 --> 00:15:22,375 Oh, no, not your Bitcoin. 357 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,667 I don't care. Pay me. 358 00:15:27,190 --> 00:15:28,680 Okay, all right. 359 00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:30,500 Quit playing. I got your back, man. 360 00:15:30,510 --> 00:15:31,875 Oh. Thanks, Dad. 361 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,620 But you're gonna have to clean up this yard, 362 00:15:33,650 --> 00:15:35,959 wax the cars and scrape off the grill. 363 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,520 Okay, all right. 364 00:15:37,540 --> 00:15:39,103 Fair enough. I respect that. 365 00:15:39,110 --> 00:15:41,411 You know, I'm glad you're my dad, man. 366 00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:43,690 Even though I probably could have been a famous athlete 367 00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,720 if Jerome Bettis had been my father. 368 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,953 Me, too, son. 369 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,860 Even though I could have been retired 370 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,200 if Patrick Mahomes was my son. 371 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,663 Hey, Calvin, I'm returning your pie tin. 372 00:15:59,670 --> 00:16:01,163 How are you and Tina doing? 373 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:02,499 I don't know. 374 00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:04,440 Ask Romy Rome. 375 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:07,082 So, you're still mad at her? 376 00:16:07,083 --> 00:16:09,740 Look, you just don't get over something like that. 377 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,375 The man is in the Hall of Fame. 378 00:16:11,380 --> 00:16:13,550 Plus, I've napped in his jersey. 379 00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:18,709 Okay, so you're really mad. 380 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,380 But you know what, you're right. 381 00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:24,821 In fact, I'm still mad at Dave. 382 00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:27,140 Gemma, come on. 383 00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:29,323 Is the number really that important? 384 00:16:29,330 --> 00:16:32,125 Yes! I'm not sure I can ever forgive him. 385 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:34,540 Okay. You know what? 386 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,093 This sounds a little extreme, so... 387 00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:38,792 tell me what's really going on. 388 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,209 I can't stop thinking about those other women. 389 00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:43,220 Well, that's why I created 390 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,660 "Don't Ask, Leave Your Past in the Past." 391 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:49,249 Also known as "Don't Ask or That's Yo Ass." 392 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,313 I mean, I was his eighth choice. 393 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,880 I bet he'd love to leave me for number seven. 394 00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:58,060 She's probably some doctor type 395 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,883 who's really good at full-body exams... 396 00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:04,123 if you know what I mean. 397 00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:06,260 I do. 398 00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:09,293 But that's not Dave. 399 00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:13,510 Dave is the guy that crocheted us all mittens for Christmas. 400 00:17:15,690 --> 00:17:18,173 Look, Dave married you. 401 00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:19,973 He loves you. 402 00:17:19,980 --> 00:17:21,480 Those other women don't matter. 403 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,749 You have nothing to be insecure about. 404 00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:26,000 Do you really believe that? 405 00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:27,334 You're damn right I do. 406 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,410 Then act like it. 407 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,292 Ooh, Mic drop. 408 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,480 Oh, my God, I cracked my screen. 409 00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:44,660 - Hey, babe. - I don't want to talk. 410 00:17:45,670 --> 00:17:49,250 Look, I was thinking that I might owe you an apology. 411 00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:51,880 Keep talking. 412 00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:56,241 I'm sorry that I got jealous. 413 00:17:58,050 --> 00:17:59,543 What were you thinking? 414 00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:01,113 I don't know. 415 00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:05,480 I guess I wasn't. I just... I got a little insecure that... 416 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:09,329 I thought maybe you thought you made the wrong choice. 417 00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:12,623 Wrong choice? I chose The Truck. 418 00:18:12,630 --> 00:18:14,293 The Truck is built for anything. 419 00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:16,960 Yeah, but he's The Bus. 420 00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:18,875 You could have been Mrs. Bus. 421 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,200 You know? 422 00:18:21,210 --> 00:18:22,933 Living the good life. 423 00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:24,420 Front-row seats to the game, 424 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,220 private jets, flashy jewelry. 425 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,700 Calvin, what are you talking about? 426 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,543 I am living my best life. 427 00:18:33,550 --> 00:18:36,460 Yeah, but being married to a guy that owns a body shop 428 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,460 doesn't get you on The Real Housewives of Pittsburgh. 429 00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:43,953 Calvin, I have had lots of chances at living that life, 430 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,209 but I chose you and the life you offered. 431 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,640 What do you mean you had "lots of chances"? 432 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:55,130 Oh, you thought you were playing about Ja Rule. 433 00:18:55,140 --> 00:18:56,449 What? Tina... 434 00:18:56,450 --> 00:18:58,334 I-I'm just playing, I'm just playing. 435 00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:01,903 Calvin... 436 00:19:01,910 --> 00:19:05,375 You know, nothing can replace the chemistry we have. 437 00:19:05,380 --> 00:19:08,160 Do you know how I feel every time you walk into a room? 438 00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:13,159 I'm guessing... pretty good? 439 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,920 After 32 years of marriage, 440 00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:17,870 I still light up. Every time. 441 00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:22,917 I feel bad. I guess I should've told you about Jerome. 442 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,793 Nah. 443 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,593 No, the rule is the rule. 444 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,563 And I still think it's the right way to go. 445 00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:30,600 I mean, who cares about our past 446 00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:32,375 when we're each other's forever? 447 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,700 Mmm. 448 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,620 I love you. 449 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,200 I think it was kind of sexy, though, with you being so jealous. 450 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,440 Made me feel like I still got it. 451 00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:44,417 Oh, trust me, you still got it. 452 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:47,800 And I still want it. 453 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,150 Now come on, let's go get unholy. 454 00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:53,540 - Come on. - Okay. 455 00:20:00,850 --> 00:20:03,120 Thanks for taking me to the movies, Calvin. 456 00:20:03,140 --> 00:20:05,167 Anytime, Lil' Tee Tee. 457 00:20:08,010 --> 00:20:10,333 Ooh! This is my favorite part. 458 00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:12,250 He is so cute! 459 00:20:18,460 --> 00:20:20,334 No! 460 00:20:37,930 --> 00:20:42,930 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 32656

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