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1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,068
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:27,593
All right, drink up.
We do not want to be late.
3
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:28,993
Cory, don't worry.
We'll make it.
4
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,530
Topanga, that's what
you said on Sunday,
5
00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:33,965
and we missed
most of 60 Minutes.
6
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,968
Okay, it's not called
"15 minutes," Topanga.
7
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,238
Where are Jack and Eric?
8
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:41,606
You know,
we gotta get goin',
9
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,175
'cause the place
is gonna be packed.
10
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:44,509
I bet you anything
11
00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:47,412
we're waiting because
of Jack and his hair.
12
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:48,614
Where are you guys going?
13
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:51,650
The Blue Room.
Oh, I hate that place.
14
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:55,187
Loud music,
tight clothing,
wild dancing.
15
00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:58,523
Yeah, why would we ever
want to go there?
16
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:01,126
I'm not goin', man.
It's fine!
17
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,396
It's not fine,
it's a disaster.
18
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,598
You don't understand.
It's just...
19
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,867
It's not holding,
all right?
It's not holding!
20
00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:10,636
I like dancing.
21
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:11,970
So why don't you come
with us?
22
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,206
Because we have
other plans tonight,
23
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:18,110
or did we forget about
watching the Doyle
quintuplets on 20/20?
24
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:20,545
We can tape it.
25
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:23,348
Of all the nights
to run out of hair gel.
26
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,818
No, no, no, taping it
is just not the same,
Topanga.
27
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,153
You know something, Jack?
28
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:30,989
If I were a woman,
I'd think you were swell.
29
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,295
Really?
30
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,867
Okay, fine. Then we can
watch it and go with them
afterwards.
31
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:43,435
At 11:00 PM?
32
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,272
You guys go
and have fun.
33
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,641
Okay. You wouldn't
really have fun anyway.
34
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,476
It's not your scene.
35
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:57,716
Not our scene?
36
00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,351
What do they mean
by "not our scene"?
37
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:03,321
Those quintuplets are
as cute as the Dickens.
38
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:06,124
What, they think just
because we're married,
we're not fun anymore?
39
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:08,427
I'll tell you who's fun,
Ricky.
40
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,496
Who's Ricky?
41
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:13,665
Oh, he's the one
that no one thought
would make it.
42
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,100
You get 'em, Ricky!
43
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,036
What did you
do that for?
44
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:19,604
We are boring.
45
00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:22,073
According to who, Topanga,
the "in" crowd
at the Blue Room?
46
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,510
Our friends didn't even
invite us to go along
with them.
47
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,077
Topanga, who cares,
all right?
48
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,814
Now, turn on the humidifier
and come to bed. Let's go.
49
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:32,817
(HUMIDIFIER BUZZING)
50
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:41,426
We got everything we need
right here, don't we?
51
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,027
I guess so.
52
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:44,362
Spoons!
53
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,570
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
54
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,105
(SIGHS)
We're in a rut.
55
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,507
Just because we're married
doesn't mean we have
to be old.
56
00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:58,176
Old? Why, because
we choose to stay home
57
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:01,479
and have a nice, quiet
evening while the others
are out gallivanting around
58
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,181
trolling for happiness?
59
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:07,418
We have become
your parents.
60
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:14,860
Never, never mention
my parents in bed.
61
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,094
Never!
62
00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:19,897
Cory, we have to do
something drastic.
63
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,532
Okay, okay, fine.
64
00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:23,568
Where are you going?
I am getting dressed,
65
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,904
and we are going
to that blue fish room.
66
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,907
No, no, no. Not like this.
Not because I'm forcing you
to go with me.
67
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:30,942
Okay, fine.
Back to bed.
68
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:34,646
Cory, I just don't want
to be excluded anymore!
69
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,448
I want to have fun.
70
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:37,915
All right.
Maybe you're right.
71
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,018
Maybe I am becoming
a little set in my ways.
72
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,819
You want to show everyone
we're fun?
73
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,423
That's all I'm saying.
Okay, tomorrow night,
you and your old man
74
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:48,093
are going to go to the
hippest, hottest, ragingest
party anyone has ever seen.
75
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,527
Really? Where?
76
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:50,628
Right here!
77
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:51,963
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
78
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,198
Now, let's get to sleep.
79
00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:55,834
There's a 6:00 a.m. sale
at the Linen Loft,
80
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,003
and guess
who's got coupons.
81
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,240
(LOUD BANGING)
82
00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:03,575
ERIC: Ow!
83
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:12,884
Morning, Eric.
84
00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:15,687
Make it better, Jack.
85
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,288
All right, you know what?
For the last time,
86
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:19,725
kissing the boo-boo
doesn't make it go away.
87
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,626
You'll be fine.
88
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,894
You know what, Jack,
I don't know.
89
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:26,230
This boo-boo feels different.
It feels special.
90
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:29,434
I don't know.
My nose is all tickly,
and I just feel like...
91
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:31,169
(SNEEZES)
92
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:34,005
You're gonna pour milk
into your cereal!
93
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,274
Not that I'm gonna
eat it now.
94
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:38,509
Jack, this is amazing!
95
00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:41,746
I sneezed, and I saw
a vision of you pouring
milk onto your cereal!
96
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:45,216
No, this is just more
background information
97
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,251
for the nice people
at the asylum.
98
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,287
You know,
they were nice.
99
00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:53,124
Jack, I'm telling you,
100
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:56,428
smashing my head
is what gave me
my special powers!
101
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,863
When I sneeze,
I see the future!
102
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,899
Wait a second,
I feel one coming on.
103
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,735
(SNEEZES)
There's a fire at
the Peterman warehouse!
104
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,203
WOMAN ON TV:
This just in!
105
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,772
There's a fire at the Peterman warehouse.
106
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:12,177
No, no, no,
this can't be happening.
107
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:15,480
Yes, Jack, we've been
down this road before.
108
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:17,882
Something amazing happens
to me, you try to resist,
109
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,084
and I pull you down
anyway.
110
00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:24,156
Fine. I'm gonna
die either way.
111
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:26,691
All right, I believe
in your stupid,
little powers, Eric.
112
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,860
All right!
See, that was painless.
113
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,428
Now, the first thing
I believe we have to do
114
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,931
is determine why
God gave me this power.
Mmm.
115
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,665
I wonder
why he gave it to me,
116
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:37,335
and not someone like, say,
oh, I don't know, you?
117
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,038
(SNEEZES)
118
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,141
21, 46, 53!
119
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:45,677
You snotted on me.
120
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:49,247
Dude, 21, 46, 53,
those are my Nana Boo Boo's
measurements!
121
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:50,682
She is hot!
122
00:05:54,053 --> 00:05:56,121
WOMAN ON TV:
And hurry to those lotto machines, folks.
123
00:05:56,189 --> 00:06:01,026
Tonight's Pennsylvania lottery is nearly $4 million.
124
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:04,795
Oh, no, no, those aren't
Nana Boo Boo's measurements,
those are lottery numbers!
125
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,532
No, the lottery's got
six numbers, Jack.
126
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,268
You're right! That's right!
Come on, sneeze me the rest!
127
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,103
I am not a carnival act.
128
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:14,939
All right,
I am a carnival act,
but my sneezing is a gift.
129
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,008
It's a gift that
should not be abused.
130
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,378
Unless, of course,
we can use it
to get chicks.
131
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:22,114
We get those
lottery numbers,
132
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,015
you can buy
all the chicks
you want, okay?
133
00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:26,785
So, come on,
sneeze me the rest.
134
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,220
(SNEEZES)
The King of Norway's
having a fish!
135
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:33,324
Come to our party.
Come to our party.
136
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,527
Come to our party.
137
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:37,963
Come to our party.
138
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,064
Come to our party.
139
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,800
What party?
140
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:45,336
"Cory and Topanga's
we-are-out-of-our-rut-
rip-roaring-party party."
141
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,206
Wow.
142
00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:51,042
"Cake, ice cream, games,
surprises."
143
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:52,543
Look, Shawn, "surprises."
144
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:56,347
Hey, Cor,
what's with the party?
145
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,517
What, a couple of people
like us can't throw
a hoedown?
146
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,922
Read this.
147
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:07,492
You are out of your rut.
148
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,928
That sounds good.
Congratulations.
149
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:11,329
(CHUCKLES) All right!
150
00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:13,731
I want all you kids
to wear your tassels
151
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,033
and your leather
and your get-up and such,
152
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,636
and I will see you all
tonight!
153
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:23,775
Tonight?
Yes, tonight,
Saturday night.
154
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:25,644
I know I've been
out of the loop
for a while,
155
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:28,379
but isn't that the night
y'all rabble-rouse?
156
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:32,016
Yes, it is,
especially this
Saturday night.
157
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:35,920
Cory, your party
is the same night
as Jerry Dervin's.
158
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,555
So?
159
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:41,526
Jerry Dervin's party
is the best party
of the year.
160
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:44,095
Oh, really?
All right, look.
No big deal.
161
00:07:45,399 --> 00:07:46,798
We'll go to
Cory and Topanga's party,
162
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,367
and then we'll go
to Dervin's party
and have some fun.
163
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,106
Excuse me?
164
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,675
Don't worry, Cory,
we won't leave
until your party's over.
165
00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,511
What, your thing will be
done by 10:00, right?
166
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:02,780
Look carefully, Shawn.
What does this say?
167
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:05,249
"No parents allowed."
Nice touch.
168
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,251
Thank you, thank you.
Read on.
169
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,854
8:00 to question mark.
170
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,189
"Question mark," Shawnie.
Do you know what that means?
171
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:15,192
It means that nobody knows
when this party's gonna end.
172
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:16,828
Okay? Do you know?
No.
173
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,063
Do I know?
No.
174
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,865
It's totally impossible
to predict!
175
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,634
Cory, don't worry.
We're gonna spend plenty
of time at your party.
176
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:27,405
No, it's fine. You go to
Dervin's and make nice-nice
with the cool kids.
177
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:29,507
But you are making
a big mistake, missy,
178
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:32,076
by doubting the power of
a Cory and Topanga party.
179
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:35,980
Oh, sure, we won't be
in leather, but that's
because I'm allergic
180
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,750
and Topanga is a sweater.
181
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,751
Cory, calm down.
We're comin' to your party.
182
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,287
Don't do me
any favors, okay?
183
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,355
The whole campus has
these fliers, Shawnie,
184
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:48,893
so there might
not even be room for you
or this thing on your face.
185
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,628
Come on,
you don't mean that.
186
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,064
Don't come to our party.
187
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,632
Don't come to our party.
188
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,201
Don't come to our party.
189
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:57,702
Don't come to our party.
190
00:08:57,770 --> 00:08:59,203
Don't come to our party.
191
00:08:59,273 --> 00:09:01,105
But we'll compare notes
on Monday
192
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,708
about who went
to the better party.
193
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,379
And I take notes
like a secretary.
194
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,191
I still don't see
why I have to wear
this stupid thing.
195
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:22,760
Because you have
a propensity for...
196
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,631
Head trauma.
197
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,136
You don't care at all
about my head.
198
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:33,805
You just care about your
stupid lottery numbers!
199
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:35,940
I mean, sure,
the helmet looks good,
200
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,342
but this wasn't a gift
given out of love,
this was given out of greed.
201
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,012
You know something, Jack?
You take all the fun
out of sneezing.
202
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,681
Okay, you know what?
203
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:44,749
Sneeze, you baby!
204
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:47,686
No, come on!
No more pepper!
My nostrils hurt!
205
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:48,987
Sneeze!
No!
206
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,421
Jackass!
No!
207
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:52,891
Come on, man.
208
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:57,061
Look, I got 21, 46, 53,
and then I got nothin'.
209
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,996
I got nothin' here.
I need you to help me out.
210
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:01,533
All right? Come on.
It's now or never.
Let's go.
211
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,367
(SNEEZES)
212
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:05,269
Oh, my gosh.
213
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,838
The numbers?
214
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,374
No, someone's in trouble,
Jack. That's what I just
sneezed.
215
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,608
We've got to
get out of here.
216
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,910
That's ridiculous.
217
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,113
Who's in trouble?
218
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,715
I don't know.
219
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,551
But I do know
that he needs my help.
220
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,986
God gave me these powers
to help people,
221
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:25,290
not to give
stupid lottery numbers.
222
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,291
I'm people!
I'm people!
Help me!
223
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:32,430
(SNEEZES)
He's cheating on you.
(GASPS)
224
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:35,266
(SNEEZES)
And he's gonna
rob this place.
225
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,202
You know what?
You're just a bad guy!
226
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,775
Topanga, could you come
in here for a moment?
227
00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:46,644
Oh, my!
228
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:48,880
Honey, don't you think
this might be
a little bit much?
229
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:52,283
No, I think people
appreciate it when
you go the extra mile.
230
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,451
(OVEN DINGS)
231
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,221
Oh, my quiches are done.
232
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:59,057
You know, I thought
people might be a little
tired of 20 questions,
233
00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:00,992
so I got a few other games.
234
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,227
Oh, Cory, I think people
might be tired of...
Oh! Clue!
235
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,696
I haven't played that game
in years!
236
00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:05,797
Exactly.
237
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,832
That guy Dervin
may have flash,
238
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:09,433
but we've got substance.
239
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,837
This party is gonna
be quite satisfying.
Taste this.
240
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:16,507
Mmm! Quiche-alicious!
241
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,576
Cory, you have to save some
for our guests.
242
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,144
They're gonna be here
in two minutes.
243
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,946
It's 7:58 already?
244
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,848
I haven't even picked
the music yet!
245
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:25,316
What should we start with?
246
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,685
I don't know.
Put on something
we can dance to.
247
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:30,488
That's exactly
what I was thinking.
248
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,423
(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)
249
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:44,001
Angela, if you tell me
one more time that
we left Dervin's party
250
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,237
right as you were about to
get your groove on, I'll...
251
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,072
You'll what?
Nothing, dear.
252
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,442
I was getting on my groove,
too, you know.
253
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,047
What? It would've
happened eventually.
254
00:11:57,116 --> 00:12:00,551
Look, it's only 10:00.
We'll be back at Dervin's
by 11:00.
255
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,754
Cory does not
want us here, anyway.
256
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,188
That's what he said.
257
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:07,591
What he meant was,
"If you don't, I'll nag
you till you bleed."
258
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:08,859
(SIGHS)
259
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,166
Damn!
260
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,802
(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)
261
00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:30,614
Nobody came?
262
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,116
I feel so bad.
263
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,451
They look devastated.
264
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,820
You know,
we should do something.
265
00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:37,622
Where are you going?
266
00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:39,591
Back to Dervin's party.
267
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,796
Cory?
268
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,131
Yeah, honey?
269
00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:49,967
Nobody came to our party.
270
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:51,769
I know.
271
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,838
I almost left.
272
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,842
That's it.
We are a boring
married couple
273
00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,076
who doesn't know
how to have fun.
274
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:00,611
No, we're not
a boring couple.
275
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,514
We're a young, vibrant,
healthy, exciting couple
276
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:06,083
who've been saddled
with superficial friends,
277
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,919
who wouldn't know
a good party if it fell
on their heads!
278
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,488
Maybe.
279
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:19,029
You know, maybe
it's a good thing
that no one showed up.
280
00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:20,898
You know what I'm saying?
281
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,667
I mean, those quiches
weren't your best.
282
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,372
What?
283
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:29,907
(STAMMERING) No.
Don't get me wrong.
They were great.
284
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,477
I'm just saying, you know,
you've made better.
285
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,914
It's a compliment, really.
286
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,282
Really?
287
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,818
Well, do you want
a compliment from me?
288
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,220
Bite me.
289
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,623
Excuse me?
290
00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:48,592
Well, maybe nobody
came to the party
to eat my quiches
291
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,695
because they read
your great jokes
on the fliers.
292
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:54,332
"Come join our party,
it'll be party-rific!"
293
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,300
"Buckle up for the ride
to funville!"
294
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:57,568
What is that?
295
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,870
Uh, it's called wit.
296
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:02,306
And it wasn't the jokes
that kept people away...
297
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,809
Was it the signs
on the doors?
298
00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:05,976
No.
299
00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:08,012
Because I guess
not as many people
300
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,315
were "authorized for fun"
as you thought.
301
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,717
Well, what about
your dumb dance music?
302
00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:14,551
I mean,
that really packed 'em in!
303
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,320
Oh, my dumb music?
304
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,556
Are you sure
you don't mean "dumb-tastic"?
305
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,091
Or "super-duper-dumb-dumb"?
306
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:22,994
You know what, Topanga?
307
00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:24,429
You were the one
that started
this whole thing.
308
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,631
(MIMICKING)
"I want to be hip,
we're in a rut."
309
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,567
I was perfectly happy
staying home on
a Saturday night
310
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:30,768
and doing nothing.
311
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:33,137
Well, I'm not.
I want to go out, Cory.
312
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,139
I want to have fun!
I want to be wild!
313
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,741
Wild? Ha!
314
00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:39,811
You wouldn't last 10 minutes
in those nightclubs!
315
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,512
Cram it, old man.
316
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,617
That is it!
317
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:49,686
(SQUEALS)
318
00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:51,889
Oh, my...
(LAUGHING)
319
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:55,926
(SCREAMING)
320
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:57,595
Topanga, you're goin' down!
321
00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,364
You want more,
Mr. Rogers?
322
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:01,899
Oh, a shot at my sweater?
Very funny!
323
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,034
What about your wild
little get-up, huh?
324
00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:05,503
When's the PTA meeting?
325
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,805
Mr. Rogers!
326
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,307
Soccer mom!
(SCREAMING)
327
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,075
Cory, this was
a nice blouse!
328
00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:13,343
Yeah?
And now it's
a ripped one!
329
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:18,115
It's off your shoulder
a little bit there.
330
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,484
Yeah.
331
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,386
I could say the same thing
about yours.
332
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:23,954
(BOTH PANTING)
333
00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:31,295
We're in the middle
of nowhere, Eric.
334
00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:33,163
Something bad's gonna
happen here, Jack.
I feel it.
335
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:35,532
Wait a minute,
something bad
is happening.
336
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:39,203
You're costing me $4 million.
$4 million!
337
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,605
Give me my numbers!
Hey, hey, hey!
338
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:44,242
Obviously, Jack,
you've never had
superpowers, okay?
339
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,044
So you don't know
what's goin' on.
340
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,679
Look, Jack,
don't you get it?
341
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:51,348
There is no way that
money could be nearly
as satisfying
342
00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:53,050
as what we were
brought here to do!
343
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,653
Look around you, Eric!
There's no one here to save!
344
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:01,225
(GRUNTS)
Now gimme my numbers!
345
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,627
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow!
346
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:04,795
(SNEEZES)
347
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,496
12! 22! 42!
348
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:07,832
(SOBBING)
349
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,371
What was that?
350
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,873
(CRYING)
I said, "12, 22, 42."
351
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:19,443
The numbers!
Yes, all right.
Thank you, buddy.
352
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:21,211
Yeah, that's right!
You know what?
353
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,013
You take your numbers,
and you remember
354
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:25,450
as you're sitting there
with your $4 million
that to get it,
355
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:28,353
you had to bash
your best friend's head
against a dumpster.
356
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:32,890
You had a helmet on.
357
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:36,961
It was you!
358
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,329
What was me?
What are you
talking about?
359
00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:40,931
It was you all along!
360
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:45,803
He's reachin' out
to you, Jack.
361
00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:48,339
He's tryin' to save you.
362
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:51,242
(CHUCKLES) Save me?
363
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:54,578
That's right.
Save you from your greed.
364
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,481
My vision was about you.
365
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:00,251
He's right.
366
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,720
You're the one in danger.
367
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:07,892
Yeah. Yeah, Jack, I mean,
look what this lottery
has done to you,
368
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,993
and you haven't even
won it yet.
369
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:18,435
(EXHALES)
You're right.
370
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:21,405
You know,
I let greed take me over.
371
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:22,707
(SIGHS)
372
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,509
I didn't care
what happened to you,
373
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,744
what happened
to our friendship.
374
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,046
You know,
it's unbelievable,
375
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:30,681
the things that people
will do for money.
376
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,553
Oh, well.
Off to buy me a ticket.
377
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:43,627
Hey, we tried.
378
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,998
This party better
be good, Hunter.
379
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,667
Dervin's party was awesome.
380
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,335
Shut up, Dervin.
381
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,773
All right, I'm gonna
go over this one more time.
382
00:17:55,841 --> 00:17:58,075
On the other side
of this door, it's ugly.
383
00:17:58,144 --> 00:18:02,880
These people are
wonderful, but they're
incredibly square.
384
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,982
And, remember,
nobody gets
their 20 bucks
385
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:07,751
unless they stay
the full hour.
386
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,720
This was a really
sweet thing to do, Shawn.
387
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:11,455
I just hope
we're not too late.
388
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:20,430
This is the best party
I've ever been to.
389
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:22,632
Topanga, I was wrong.
390
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:25,435
I love your quiche.
391
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:26,803
(LAUGHS)
392
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,773
I love every boring bone
in your body.
393
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,076
Really?
Let's never
go anywhere again.
394
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,250
You think they do that
every night?
395
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:42,353
Well, gosh, that's probably
why they go home at 9:00.
396
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,521
Whoa, hey!
Okay, party's over.
397
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,624
There's no way
we're gonna
save this one.
398
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,625
I'm goin' back
to Dervin's.
399
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,227
You are Dervin.
400
00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:58,269
I cannot believe
that we felt sorry
for Cory and Topanga.
401
00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:01,739
I know. I mean,
I feel sorry for us.
402
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,641
I wonder what their
food bill is a month.
403
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:07,744
I don't know.
You know, let's just
go back to Dervin's.
404
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,214
Yeah.
405
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:13,551
You know what? Forget
Dervin's. Let's just go
to a grocery store.
406
00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:22,125
Eric, quick,
come out here!
No!
407
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,430
Come on.
I said I'm sorry.
408
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:29,499
You're not sorry,
you're evil!
409
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:31,969
Well, just sit down
and watch me get
filthy rich.
410
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:34,471
They're about to announce
the winning lottery numbers.
411
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:35,606
That's blood money!
412
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,442
I'll give you half.
Oh. Turn it up.
413
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,811
WOMAN ON TV:
And here are tonight's winning lotto numbers...
414
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,113
I'm gonna buy myself
a new helmet.
415
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:48,319
...32, 6, 27, 18, 9, 2.
416
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:49,787
We're rich!
417
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,058
No, we're not.
418
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:55,726
Those aren't the numbers
you gave me!
419
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:58,429
This is worthless,
and you're worthless! Here!
420
00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:01,398
No, Jack, no!
Eat it! Eat it,
you psychic snot liar!
421
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,033
WOMAN ON TV:
So much for the New York Lottery.
422
00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:06,470
Now for the $4 million Pennsylvania lottery.
423
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,706
Oh, my God.
424
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:10,140
The winning numbers are,
425
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:16,680
21, 46, 53, 12, 22, 42.
426
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,148
And in other news...
427
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,750
Well, that's a coincidence.
428
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:32,729
(SNEEZES)
429
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,765
Oh, what you're
gonna do to me!
430
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,072
Cory, come quick!
431
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:44,875
John Stossel is doing
an expose on tainted meat!
432
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:56,721
Now, I ask you, would you
rather be spending the night
at some glitzy club,
433
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,122
or learning how to spot
a bad brisket?
434
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:01,358
You're right, brisket.
435
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:04,695
I mean, it's not like
I don't enjoy dancing
or going out and having fun.
436
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,531
It's just that
the best time I have
is when I'm here with you.
437
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:14,204
Oh, look,
bad flank steak.
438
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,044
I love you.
38118
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