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1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,201
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:27,559
Feeny! You. Here.
Sit. Now.
3
00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:31,963
Eric, don't use that...
4
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,298
Dean Bolander.
5
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,234
Okay, what you got?
6
00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:38,036
How old are you now,
Mr. Feeny?
What, 90, 100?
7
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,205
A hundred.
What do you want?
8
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,641
Not what I want,
it's what you want
9
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,343
but you're not
going after.
10
00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:47,212
Eric, my relationship
with Dean Bolander
11
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,149
will proceed at
my pace, not yours.
12
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,050
You are such
a scaredy-cat. I mean,
13
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:54,152
here's a woman that
you've obviously got
the hots for
14
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,687
and you're not gonna
do anything about it.
15
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:58,189
Mr. Matthews, don't
reduce my feelings
16
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:00,859
for the woman
to "the hots."
17
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,095
Unless, of course,
she used that term.
18
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:04,996
Mr. Feeny, you've
been good to me
over the years.
19
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,232
You taught me
everything I never
paid attention to.
20
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,801
It's payback time.
21
00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,936
Oh, no, no, payback time.
I don't want it. Eric...
22
00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:12,337
It's out of your
hands, Feeny. Sorry.
23
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,571
Out of your hands,
Feeny.
I beg you...
24
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,140
Eric...
25
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,209
Dean Bolander is
the kind of woman
26
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:21,279
that you have to romance
slowly, carefully.
27
00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:22,981
Like an orchid.
28
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:25,183
I'm a gardener.
I know these things.
29
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,885
Stop selling me, girls.
30
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,887
I like the man
very much.
31
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:31,957
But he needs to
pick up the pace
of this dance.
32
00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,091
Isn't there anything
to be said
33
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,359
for the old-fashioned
approach?
34
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,427
Yeah.
35
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,295
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
36
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:38,864
Oh, I know. He needs
to do something.
37
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,732
He needs to express
his feelings.
38
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:44,002
Goodness knows I've
been dropping the man
hints left and right.
39
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:46,438
Well, maybe you're
being too subtle.
40
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,540
I hiked up my skirt
at the seminar.
41
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:49,707
Damn!
42
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:52,578
Feeny, the time
is now.
43
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,914
Every second you
wait is another
clogged artery.
44
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:59,118
You know, my cholesterol
level is high.
45
00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:03,188
George, if not
now, when?
46
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,692
Now.
That's right!
47
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,128
You are the man,
you are the man!
48
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,529
Oh, will you
get lost!
49
00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:12,231
I'm lost, I'm lost!
Just bring her home.
50
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,632
Excuse me.
51
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:15,634
Um, Dean Bolander.
52
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,201
Yes?
53
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:20,171
There's something
that I have been
meaning to say to you...
54
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,207
There she is!
Lila Bolander,
55
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,109
the eighth wonder
of the world!
56
00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:25,177
Curtis!
57
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,778
(BOTH LAUGHING)
58
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,382
He must know her.
59
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:39,758
Well, Curtis,
what's it been,
15 years?
60
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:42,327
All this time,
I'm running
around the world,
61
00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:45,964
digging up bones,
and you're here
not aging a day.
62
00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:48,133
Doesn't seem fair.
63
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:50,802
But I like it.
64
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,371
Relax, this guy's
got nothin'.
65
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:54,372
I want you to meet
someone. George?
66
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:58,009
This is my colleague
and friend George Feeny.
67
00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,778
Curt Kincaid.
Put it there!
68
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,045
A pleasure,
Mr. Kincaid.
69
00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:03,281
Oh, come on.
What's with the mister?
70
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,284
It's doctor.
Dr. Kincaid.
71
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,853
Curtis is in town
to speak at our
science seminar.
72
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:11,223
He's made some
top-secret find
in Africa.
73
00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:12,957
Oh, just
a little something
74
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,526
that will change
the course of
the new millennium.
75
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:16,628
(CHUCKLING)
76
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,463
So then you're
an archeologist?
77
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:22,401
George, please,
that makes me feel like
a geezer with a compass.
78
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:27,039
I prefer fortune hunter,
adventurer, or my
personal favorite,
79
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,240
Lila's ex-husband.
80
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,175
Ex, it's no problem.
81
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:32,511
But I'm here
to win her back.
82
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,313
You know what?
You've been
alone this long.
83
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,816
How about, you know,
like, a puppy?
84
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,186
And the man stepped
in between them.
85
00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:42,854
And the course of true
love for one of our own
86
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:46,224
may have forever
been altered by
this schifosa.
87
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:52,497
Why do you
come to us now?
88
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:56,368
On this, the day
of our bake sale?
89
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:59,237
Well, 'cause this
just happened, like,
five minutes ago.
90
00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:00,805
Okay. What do you need?
91
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,907
I need for you to
do me this favor.
92
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:04,309
(SLURPING)
93
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:09,447
You need me to
do you this favor?
94
00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:12,517
You never invited me
into your home.
95
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,786
You never invited me
for a cup of coffee.
96
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:18,357
Yes, I know. And
for this I am sorry.
97
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:23,227
But we must
help Feeny,
98
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:25,163
but he mustn't know
that it is us.
99
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:27,032
This is the biggest job
we've ever attempted
to pull off.
100
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,601
I come to you with
my hat in my hand...
101
00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:32,036
It's my hat.
It's my hand.
102
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,373
Are you in,
or are you out?
103
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,509
Eric, we're flattered
you've come to us.
104
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:40,645
But look around.
We're legitimate now.
105
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,681
We're in the bake
sale business.
106
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:47,152
Guys, it's Feeny.
He's family.
107
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,888
This may be his
one chance at true love.
108
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:55,760
Eric, I just spent
68 bucks traveling
around this country.
109
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,429
I learned a few
things about life.
110
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:01,099
Why don't you
tell him what you
learned, Shawn.
111
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,635
(WHISPERING)
I love this part.
112
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,804
I learned to be
at peace with myself.
113
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,071
I like looking
over my shoulder
114
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:10,074
and not worrying about
who's coming after me.
115
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:18,850
These schemes and capers
I used to hatch, they
only lead to despair.
116
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,919
That's what I learned.
117
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,353
I also learned never
to park a trailer
118
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:25,524
across a railroad track
when that thing is down.
119
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:30,928
Besides, Eric, I hit
a teacher, remember?
120
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:31,997
Yes.
121
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,866
The dean put me
on probation.
122
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:38,870
I do one
thing wrong,
I'm outta here.
123
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,939
Don't you think that Feeny
can take care of himself?
124
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,707
I'm ashamed.
125
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,977
I am ashamed to
call you guys my
brother and Shawn.
126
00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:03,295
He ate the paper.
127
00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:12,470
(EXHALES)
128
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,038
What's the matter?
129
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,840
Jack, you know,
I really love this.
130
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,242
But have you noticed
that this is all we do?
131
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,645
Yeah. Isn't it great?
132
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:24,282
Yeah, yeah,
it is great, Jack.
But I want more.
133
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:25,850
Oh, thank you!
134
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,787
Well, more is
right this way.
135
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,489
Oh, Jack, no,
I mean,
136
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,791
I want us to
be a couple.
We are a couple.
137
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,192
I want to go out, Jack.
138
00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:35,794
We haven't gone out since
we've become a couple.
139
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,429
I mean, why don't
we ever go anywhere?
140
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,097
We go plenty of places.
141
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,833
First we went there,
then we went there,
142
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,969
and now we're gonna
go up there.
143
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:49,407
Jack, I wanna
be with people.
I wanna go dancing.
144
00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:54,345
Uh... Um, let's go
to the movies.
145
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,314
The movies are dark,
and no one will see us,
146
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:58,650
and I wanna show you off.
147
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:01,052
I wanna go dancing, Jack.
148
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,822
You can dance, right?
Yeah, I can dance.
149
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:06,490
Great, then we'll go
dancing tomorrow night.
150
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:09,427
Oh, Jack, this is going
to be so much fun!
151
00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:10,962
I can't wait.
152
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:18,603
So, I jump off the cliff,
153
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:20,739
grab hold of
a big old branch,
154
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,240
jungle-gym to the river,
155
00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:26,177
and never saw Chief Yakazo's
ugly mug again.
156
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,946
And the cursed ruby
of the Tzang-Kwai
157
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:32,584
now resides in the Turkish
Museum of Natural History
158
00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:36,487
diagonally across from
the Hard Rock Cafe. The end!
159
00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:38,156
(ALL APPLAUDING)
160
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:44,996
Wow.
Wow.
161
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,631
Hey, whose side
are you on?
162
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:51,603
Well, thank you,
Dr. Kincaid, for that,
uh, vivid story,
163
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:54,639
which provides us with
a perfect transition
164
00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:56,140
into today's assignment,
165
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:59,611
where on neighboring Crete
166
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,881
we will find
Sir Arthur Evans
167
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:07,451
excavating at Minoan Knossos,
beginning in 1899.
168
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,588
(COUGHS) You're dying.
Do something.
169
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:14,959
We will read what
Evans was most
interested in excavating
170
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:18,530
and the effect it had
on archeology
in the 20th century.
171
00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:21,666
Ponderous, man,
ponderous.
172
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,035
George is a fine
educator, Curtis.
173
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:26,971
Sorry, but when
you've had these
experiences firsthand,
174
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,908
it's a little hard
to get excited
about reading a book.
175
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:34,045
But I suppose reading
is a lot safer than
actually doing something.
176
00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:44,021
I feel as though
this gentleman may
require our attention.
177
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,657
Perhaps a lesson
in humility.
178
00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:47,758
Something big.
179
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:50,962
Something spectacular.
180
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,264
But let's not get
caught like all
the other times, okay?
181
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,432
Okay.
182
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:04,142
(LAUGHS) Shawnie,
of all the plans
we've concocted,
183
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,576
this is the best one.
184
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:09,014
And we have concocted
some doozies.
185
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,581
And Feeny always
caught us.
186
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:12,984
Yeah, he always
had us figured out.
187
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,753
But we're in college now.
We're older, we're wiser.
188
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,522
You think he's up
to the challenge?
189
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:20,658
It's us against him,
living on
the edge, babe.
190
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:24,261
I like when you
call me babe.
191
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:28,365
All right. So, Eric said
this guy Curtis
stored all the stuff
192
00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:30,267
from his last dig here
in the science lab.
193
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:31,936
Yeah, he's supposedly
got something
194
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,571
that's gonna alter
the course of
the new millennium.
195
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:36,408
Are we ready to
execute phase one
of our master plan?
196
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:38,376
Ready. Let's mess
this place up.
197
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:44,982
You know, Shawnie,
I honestly don't see
198
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:46,151
how anything could
be simpler.
199
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,552
This is child's play.
200
00:09:48,621 --> 00:09:50,554
What's this, a brain?
201
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,223
That's gotta be
his discovery.
202
00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,125
He's discovered
the world's
first brain.
203
00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:56,060
This gets out,
Feeny'll never
get the dean.
204
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,762
You could get any
woman with the world's
first brain.
205
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:01,666
Could I get Topanga?
206
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,135
Yeah, I think you could.
207
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:05,202
Whoo-hoo!
208
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,370
Whoa, whoa, hey.
209
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,006
That jar's been closed
for 5,000 years.
210
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,407
You know, this must be
the world's first jar.
211
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:11,876
How do I get
this thing open?
212
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,045
Well, here, here.
Hand me the rare
Phoenician mallet.
213
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,982
No, no, no, no,
that's an early
Egyptian dental tool.
214
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,450
There we go.
215
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:23,821
Phoenician piece
of crap.
216
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,624
Shawn, you broke it.
That's not part
of the plan.
217
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:29,093
I'll replace it.
I see them all the time
218
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,429
at Bed, Bath
and Phoenician.
219
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:34,766
Here, hand me
the Byzantine statue
of King Hafaratu.
220
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:42,173
Home Shopping Channel.
There's six billion
of them left.
221
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,574
(GRUNTING)
222
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:52,917
Wow, the human brain.
223
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:58,590
The thing that separates
us from the animals.
224
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,858
'Cause they
would have
an animal brain.
225
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,927
Yeah.
226
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:07,498
I hold in my hands
the pinnacle of
God's creation.
227
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,767
Think fast!
228
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,676
You want personality
or motor skills?
229
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:28,086
Energy can be emitted
or absorbed by matter,
230
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:32,223
but only in small, discreet
units called quanta.
231
00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:35,459
Feeny, stop hiding
behind your books!
232
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:40,131
Also fundamental
to the development
of quantum physics
233
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,366
was the uncertainty
principle.
234
00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:45,169
Oh, Feeny,
you're in pain.
235
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,405
Eric, you're not
even in this class.
236
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,307
But someone who
is perfectly fine
237
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,609
does not let
some world-famous
super-duper explorer guy
238
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:55,246
who's five times the man
you'll ever be, swoop in
and take your booty.
239
00:11:55,314 --> 00:11:57,048
She is not my booty!
240
00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:03,187
And if she was my booty,
241
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:06,958
I would prefer not
to talk about my booty
242
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:08,659
in front of
the entire class.
243
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:12,563
Look, come on, Feeny.
Everybody knows.
244
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,265
No one knows.
245
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:18,369
I have behaved
in a manner befitting
a man of my station.
246
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:19,704
Word salad, Feeny.
247
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,506
Okay, who here knows
who Feeny loves?
248
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,474
ALL: The dean!
249
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:26,310
All right,
everybody out.
250
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:27,879
We're just rooting
for you, Mr. Feeny.
251
00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:29,347
Why won't you
make your move?
252
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:33,351
Eric, in a world that
is not run by savages,
253
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,987
there is such
a thing as decorum.
254
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:38,156
Now, decorum would suggest
255
00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:41,926
that a gentleman allow
a lady to resolve
256
00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:43,961
an old relationship
257
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,997
before he engages her
in a new one.
258
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:48,732
Yes, but, see,
you're already in
a new relationship!
259
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,568
You're in
a triangle, Feeny,
260
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:52,937
and take it from
somebody who's been
in a triangle before,
261
00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:54,372
he who hesitates
is lost.
262
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:55,974
(GASPS) Rachel!
263
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,511
I'm okay, I'm okay.
264
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,847
I'm fine.
I'm just like you.
265
00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:05,850
Oh, dear, I don't
want to be like you.
266
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,185
(SOBBING)
267
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:09,821
Cory, look what
you did.
268
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:11,488
You had
a perfectly good
world's first brain,
269
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:13,191
and now look at it.
270
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:14,659
I'm sorry.
271
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:17,228
Well, well, here.
Just, like, smoosh
it back together
272
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,296
and put it back
in the jar.
273
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:19,564
I will.
274
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,301
You know what,
I better hide
this because...
275
00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:26,971
Uh-oh.
276
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,040
Oh, you broke
another jar.
277
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,442
Wonder what was
in that one?
278
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:32,944
(BEE BUZZING)
279
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:34,411
CORY: Whoa!
Whoa.
280
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,247
That is one angry bee.
281
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,349
All right,
forget the bee.
On to phase two.
282
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:41,986
Yeah. How about
we open a window
for some air?
283
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:45,022
Wait a minute, Shawn,
won't opening a window
set off an alarm?
284
00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:46,824
(ALARM RINGING)
285
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:49,460
Oh, man. We never
learn anything, do we?
286
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:52,130
No, and now the teacher
from next door's gonna
hear that alarm.
287
00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:53,564
And he's gonna come
in here all mad.
288
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,466
And I wonder who
that teacher's gonna be?
289
00:13:57,303 --> 00:13:59,270
BOTH: Oh, no.
It's Feeny.
290
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:02,941
What's going on in here?
291
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:04,842
Nothing.
292
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,210
We didn't break
this stuff.
293
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,079
Well, who did?
294
00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:09,614
You did!
And we're telling!
295
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:15,653
Hey!
296
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,258
Hmm! Come on out, Jack.
297
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:23,127
I wanna see
how good you look.
298
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:29,366
How ya doing?
299
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:32,403
Okay, something's different.
300
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:33,504
Yeah, and we're
going out.
301
00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:34,906
Let's go. Hey, hey.
302
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:37,942
Oh, wait a second.
You're tall.
303
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,877
Yeah. So are you.
Let's go.
304
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,612
No, I mean, I'm looking
straight ahead,
305
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,181
and suddenly you're
in my field of vision.
306
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:45,583
What did you do?
307
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:46,750
Well, I'm
standing up straight.
308
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,652
You know me,
I'm a schlump.
309
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,955
I'm a real, uh,
down-looker.
310
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,224
Well, let's go.
Hey, hey.
311
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:55,326
What is on your feet?
312
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,894
My dancing shoes.
313
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:58,863
Oh, I can't believe
this. Jack, you
bought elevator shoes.
314
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,531
They're not elevator shoes.
315
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,965
The guy never called
them elevator shoes.
316
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:03,667
Oh, what did
he call them?
317
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,935
"Manly step-ups."
318
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,637
Oh, Jack!
What?
319
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:09,540
I can't believe this.
That's why you didn't
want to go out with me,
320
00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:11,042
because you're
too embarrassed
to be seen with me
321
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:12,343
'cause I'm so tall.
322
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,778
What are you
talking about?
323
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:16,213
My whole life I've
been the tall one,
the bean pole.
324
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:17,515
I never thought that.
325
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,149
"Hey, stilts, how's
the weather up there?"
326
00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:20,751
You know, you're crazy.
You know why I didn't
want to go out with you?
327
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:21,819
'Cause I thought they'd say,
328
00:15:21,887 --> 00:15:24,455
"Hey, look at the model
with that shrimp."
329
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:25,523
What are you
talking about?
330
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,757
You've never been
worried about this
331
00:15:26,825 --> 00:15:27,925
before when
we've been out.
332
00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:29,927
Yeah, but we've only
been out as friends.
333
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:32,663
I never really
thought about this
until we got together.
334
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,266
You know what,
to be honest,
335
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:36,934
I never thought you'd
be interested in me.
336
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:40,872
(SIGHS) Well, I am
interested in you, Jack,
337
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:43,707
but not in those.
338
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:50,481
You know what?
I would love
to go dancing.
339
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,283
Really? You mean,
in front of everybody?
340
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:56,854
Yes, in front of
the whole world.
341
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,055
All right,
let's dance.
342
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,123
Oh, Jack.
343
00:15:59,191 --> 00:16:01,291
Come on.
Okay.
344
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,166
How you doing?
345
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,102
She's too
tall for you.
346
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,675
George!
347
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:19,310
What?
348
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,312
This? I didn't do this.
349
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,013
I didn't believe them
when they told me,
350
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:24,849
but it's hard to argue
with something
351
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,651
that's right in front
of your face.
352
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,619
Yeah, we're just
as shocked as
you are, Dean.
353
00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:29,854
Now, look,
this is insane.
354
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:33,290
Put the brain down!
355
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,426
What in heaven's name
were you thinking of
when you did this?
356
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,830
I didn't do it!
They did it!
357
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:39,997
Oh!
358
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:43,101
Mr. Feeny,
we are insulted.
359
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,169
Shawn and I
have been upstairs
360
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,372
selling muffins for
the underprivileged.
361
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,073
They were down here with me.
362
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:52,410
Topanga, you wouldn't lie
for him. Where was he?
363
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:54,211
He's been selling
muffins all day.
364
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,279
So was Shawn.
365
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,248
We're legitimate now.
366
00:16:57,316 --> 00:16:59,416
Why did you
do this, George?
367
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:00,584
Uh, you know
something, Dean,
368
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:03,187
this was simply
just an act of love
369
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,955
culminating in
an act of vandalism.
370
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,757
It actually happens
all the time.
371
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,793
An act of love?
372
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:12,130
Was this an act
of love, George?
373
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,599
(MOUTHING)
374
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:19,703
Yeah.
375
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,374
Yep.
376
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:25,943
All right,
nobody move.
377
00:17:26,011 --> 00:17:27,010
Where's my bee?
378
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,145
Bee? What bee?
379
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,214
My bee,
it's my discovery.
380
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,350
Uh-oh.
381
00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:35,219
It's an African
killer bee. I've been
searching for it for years.
382
00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:39,056
(LAUGHS) Curtis, you've
been out of town
a little too long.
383
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:41,491
Those African
killer bees are swarming
all over the country.
384
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,960
They're due in Philly
next Tuesday.
385
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,896
This bee has a reverse
migration pattern.
386
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,265
We mate that species
with the killer bees
that are already here,
387
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:50,201
they start migrating
back where they
originated from,
388
00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:52,569
saving thousands of
lives. I could be rich!
389
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:53,637
(BEE BUZZING)
390
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:54,705
It's the bee!
391
00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:56,507
Everybody relax!
I'll kill it.
392
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,576
No! Don't touch
that bee.
393
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:01,112
Oh, Curtis, no.
394
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,780
The statue of
King Hafaratu
395
00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:05,182
you gave me for
our anniversary,
it's broken.
396
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:06,850
The hell
with the statue.
397
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,953
This stuff is
nothing but junk
compared to that bee.
398
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:10,488
This is junk?
399
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,290
Shh! Don't move.
400
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,525
The bee's on you.
401
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,627
Oh, Curtis, you know
I'm allergic to bees.
402
00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:18,329
So you puff up
for a little while.
403
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:19,897
This is my Nobel Prize.
404
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,367
I don't
think so, Curtis.
405
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:26,771
Ooh!
406
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:32,576
Ow!
407
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:37,682
I think this
belongs to you.
408
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:40,785
I'll return the stinger
as soon as it works
its way out of my flesh.
409
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,354
No, no, no, no.
Don't die. Don't die!
410
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,656
Quick! Where's
the zoology department?
411
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,658
Oh, God!
412
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:50,895
Ha! That guy's
a dope, man.
413
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:54,832
George, that's the most
wonderful thing anybody's
ever done for me.
414
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:57,734
I wouldn't let anything
harm you, Lila.
415
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,537
I hope you feel
the same way about me.
416
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:02,740
(SIGHS) What took you
so long, George?
417
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,475
Kiss her, Feeny.
418
00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:08,579
All right.
419
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:11,649
Yeah!
Whoo!
420
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,089
Now, this is
a beautiful moment.
421
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,923
What's even
more beautiful,
it's the first time
422
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,959
we've ever gotten
away with anything
in our lives.
423
00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:23,527
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
424
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,831
We've washed
734 windows so far.
425
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,400
How did this blow up
in our face?
426
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:32,836
I don't know.
We had Feeny
scammed.
427
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,106
Yeah, Feeny
was nothing,
428
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,174
but his chick
is tough.
429
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:40,344
Ouch.
Ooh.
430
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,414
Oh, does it
still hurt?
431
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:44,748
A little.
432
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:46,417
You want me to...
433
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:47,852
Oh, please.
434
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:52,890
All better.
435
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:55,993
I want to thank you
again for going easy
on the boys.
436
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:59,930
Oh. George, one of
the reasons I was
attracted to you
437
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:02,600
was because I've
never seen a teacher
whose students
438
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:06,170
were willing to go
to such lengths
to see him happy.
439
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:08,472
You never actually
thought I was
the perpetrator?
440
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:13,977
Oh, I have no doubt that
you're capable of acting
with reckless abandon.
441
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,446
Oh, I am, I am.
442
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:18,682
Hey! Well,
this is great,
isn't it?
443
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:21,251
I mean, you love him,
he loves you,
I love you both.
444
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,120
We're a triangle.
445
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,022
Now, um, Dean,
there's something
you should know.
446
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,957
Feeny and I like
to hang out
quite a bit,
447
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:30,727
so, if I'm ever around and
you guys are getting
(MURMURS SUGGESTIVELY) frisky,
448
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,162
or whatever it is
that you guys do,
449
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,597
I'm gonna need
some kind of a signal
450
00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:36,433
to know that it's my
time... This'll work.
451
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:43,540
I don't know
what I was thinking.
452
00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:45,876
We are perfect
for each other.
Perfect.
453
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,311
Hi, Mrs. Bertelson.
454
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:49,513
She's too tall for you.
455
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,649
Jack, stop, stop!
Okay, okay, okay.
456
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:53,918
Jack, look, look,
look, look, look.
457
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,519
You said you weren't
gonna let this
bother you, okay?
458
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:56,954
It's no problem.
I'm okay.
459
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:58,021
Okay, great.
460
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,624
I hope the cable breaks,
Mrs. Bertelson!
461
00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:03,594
Jack, why don't
we go inside and
make us snuggly.
462
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:05,195
Yes. I'm not
too short for that.
463
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,497
I know.
464
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:11,068
JACK: Hey. Hey!
465
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:12,936
Come any closer
and I'll club ya.
466
00:21:16,241 --> 00:21:18,042
She's too tall
for you.
41002
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