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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:47,642 --> 00:00:50,100 ASTERIX & THE MIDDLE KINGDOM 2 00:00:52,558 --> 00:00:54,517 The year is 50 BC. 3 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:57,433 All of Gaul is under Roman occupation. 4 00:00:57,767 --> 00:00:58,767 All of it? 5 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,142 No! 6 00:01:00,225 --> 00:01:02,600 One village of indomitable Gauls 7 00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:05,850 keeps up the good fight against the invader. 8 00:01:06,017 --> 00:01:09,517 And life is not easy for the Roman legionaries 9 00:01:09,683 --> 00:01:14,850 in their camps at Totorum, Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium. 10 00:01:17,683 --> 00:01:20,433 What I love in life 11 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,600 Is wandering day and night 12 00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:26,225 In the forest what's really fun 13 00:01:26,392 --> 00:01:29,433 Is going for a wander with my chum 14 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:30,683 It rhymes. 15 00:01:31,142 --> 00:01:33,100 Obelix, our lifestyle isn't healthy. 16 00:01:34,142 --> 00:01:35,308 Too much meat. 17 00:01:36,558 --> 00:01:38,017 - Too much meat? - Sure. 18 00:01:38,183 --> 00:01:40,308 Wild boar for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 19 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:41,558 Supper, too! 20 00:01:41,725 --> 00:01:43,308 Not to mention ale. 21 00:01:43,642 --> 00:01:45,392 It can't be good for us. 22 00:01:45,558 --> 00:01:47,308 What else is there to eat? 23 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:51,100 I don't know. We could try balancing it out with... 24 00:01:51,558 --> 00:01:52,600 vegetables. 25 00:01:54,267 --> 00:01:55,267 Veg... 26 00:01:55,433 --> 00:01:56,600 Vegetables? 27 00:02:02,183 --> 00:02:04,350 You make me laugh, Asterix. 28 00:02:05,350 --> 00:02:06,475 Hear him, Dogmatix? 29 00:02:07,183 --> 00:02:09,933 Imagine chewing a stick of celery, not a bone! 30 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:11,100 Vegetables! 31 00:02:11,725 --> 00:02:12,808 You can laugh. 32 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:16,892 I honestly don't see the point of ruining our health. 33 00:02:17,225 --> 00:02:18,892 Same with the magic potion. 34 00:02:19,350 --> 00:02:21,558 Could be, it's bad for our systems. 35 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,892 Where's the data, honestly? Where? 36 00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:26,475 Above all, do we really need it? 37 00:02:29,058 --> 00:02:29,850 You okay? 38 00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,100 No, I'm not okay. 39 00:02:31,308 --> 00:02:34,392 I'm just saying, throwing in a mixed salad, mushrooms... 40 00:02:34,558 --> 00:02:37,350 Chestnuts! When they're in season, obviously. 41 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:46,058 You snagged one already. Leave the poor things alone. 42 00:02:53,975 --> 00:02:55,517 Peek-a-boo, loopy loolas! 43 00:02:58,850 --> 00:02:59,558 Ave! 44 00:02:59,725 --> 00:03:02,683 Sorry, we're lost. Who knew we're so near the village? 45 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,767 Me. I kept telling you. 46 00:03:05,683 --> 00:03:06,725 - Didn't. - Did. 47 00:03:06,892 --> 00:03:09,225 And you said, "To hell with the Gauls! 48 00:03:09,392 --> 00:03:10,767 "They get up my nose. 49 00:03:10,933 --> 00:03:13,058 "They can shove their menhirs." 50 00:03:14,308 --> 00:03:15,558 I'm a terrible liar. 51 00:03:17,058 --> 00:03:18,267 Leave this to me. 52 00:03:19,225 --> 00:03:21,308 I'll show you I don't need this. 53 00:03:23,892 --> 00:03:25,267 Strength is here. 54 00:03:25,725 --> 00:03:26,725 And here. 55 00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:30,058 Take a seat, sit tight and enjoy the show. 56 00:03:33,808 --> 00:03:34,808 Hello. 57 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:42,142 Stupid helmet! I blame the helmet. 58 00:03:42,308 --> 00:03:43,600 You plan to step in? 59 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,183 No, not allowed. 60 00:03:54,517 --> 00:03:55,517 Help me, silly! 61 00:03:55,642 --> 00:03:56,642 Harder! 62 00:04:14,892 --> 00:04:15,892 Not fair! 63 00:04:17,642 --> 00:04:18,642 Cheat! 64 00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:22,142 Not at all. Without it, same result. 65 00:04:28,933 --> 00:04:30,225 You don't have to. 66 00:04:31,517 --> 00:04:32,517 I do. 67 00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:15,475 Where is everyone? 68 00:05:16,058 --> 00:05:17,225 It's hardly fresh. 69 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:18,975 - And you are? - What? 70 00:05:19,142 --> 00:05:20,183 No, nothing. 71 00:05:20,517 --> 00:05:23,600 Getafix, he won't let me smoke my boar in the house. 72 00:05:23,767 --> 00:05:26,850 Just because Mr Asterix has decided to quit 73 00:05:27,017 --> 00:05:28,267 doesn't mean I have to. 74 00:05:28,433 --> 00:05:29,558 Panacea! 75 00:05:30,267 --> 00:05:31,267 Panacea! 76 00:05:32,725 --> 00:05:33,808 Morning, girls. 77 00:05:34,392 --> 00:05:35,975 - Coming to the market? - Yes! 78 00:05:38,933 --> 00:05:39,975 Hi, Panacea. 79 00:05:40,142 --> 00:05:41,142 Hi, Obelix. 80 00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:44,975 I just wanted to say... 81 00:05:46,725 --> 00:05:49,725 I carved this menhir thinking of you. It's a gift. 82 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,308 Sweet, but what use is it to me? 83 00:05:56,517 --> 00:05:57,517 See you. 84 00:06:00,017 --> 00:06:01,142 She refused it. 85 00:06:02,058 --> 00:06:03,225 She refused my menhir. 86 00:06:03,392 --> 00:06:05,642 Obviously. It weighs a ton. 87 00:06:05,808 --> 00:06:08,100 What use is it? Put it on her finger? 88 00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:09,267 Getafix, your sickle. 89 00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:10,808 Thanks, Fulliautomatix. 90 00:06:10,975 --> 00:06:11,975 Slow down. 91 00:06:14,725 --> 00:06:15,725 Say... 92 00:06:19,767 --> 00:06:22,475 Asterix has the right to change his diet. 93 00:06:22,767 --> 00:06:23,933 Not everyone else's. 94 00:06:24,892 --> 00:06:26,183 Getafix, what's wrong? 95 00:06:29,892 --> 00:06:30,683 I'm sinking. 96 00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:31,850 You're sinking? 97 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,392 It must be quicksand. 98 00:06:33,558 --> 00:06:36,058 There is no quicksand in the region. 99 00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:38,808 If you ask me, someone needs to know. 100 00:06:39,725 --> 00:06:40,767 Chariot ahoy! 101 00:06:41,475 --> 00:06:43,225 Chariot ahoy! 102 00:06:46,558 --> 00:06:47,558 Excuse me. 103 00:06:48,558 --> 00:06:52,058 Some nights, my voice just wants to scream 104 00:06:52,392 --> 00:06:53,808 Shut it, will you! 105 00:07:00,017 --> 00:07:02,017 For once, I had a customer. 106 00:07:02,183 --> 00:07:03,850 For once, you have fresh fish! 107 00:07:04,017 --> 00:07:06,058 What? My fish isn't fresh? 108 00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:14,433 I'll take a look. 109 00:07:37,517 --> 00:07:40,808 For Louise and Marcel 110 00:07:41,308 --> 00:07:42,308 Hold still. 111 00:07:42,392 --> 00:07:44,975 Bankruptis, already here? It's not autumn. 112 00:07:45,142 --> 00:07:46,142 You were hit? 113 00:07:46,183 --> 00:07:49,100 - Where's your uncle? - Quiet, for goodness' sake! 114 00:07:49,433 --> 00:07:51,308 My friends, how are you? 115 00:07:51,725 --> 00:07:54,183 I come from China to ask for help. 116 00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:55,892 It's nuts! 117 00:07:56,183 --> 00:07:57,225 Why are you blond? 118 00:07:57,392 --> 00:07:58,433 I was going to say. 119 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,975 I'm a Gaul, all right? Always have been. 120 00:08:01,142 --> 00:08:02,642 Please... No slip-ups. 121 00:08:02,808 --> 00:08:04,517 No slip-ups, I'm begging you. 122 00:08:04,683 --> 00:08:05,725 I'll explain. Come on. 123 00:08:16,850 --> 00:08:17,850 That one... 124 00:08:18,308 --> 00:08:19,725 The beautiful girl fast asleep 125 00:08:19,892 --> 00:08:21,100 is a princess. 126 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:24,350 Named Sa See. Daughter of the Empress of China. 127 00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,392 You do know where China is? 128 00:08:31,058 --> 00:08:32,683 - Two princesses! - Actually, no. 129 00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:34,725 That's her bodyguard. Miss Tik. 130 00:08:35,392 --> 00:08:38,517 Believe me, she's insane. Smashed everyone on the way. 131 00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:41,517 She smashed Scythians, smashed Parthians, smashed Huns! 132 00:08:42,225 --> 00:08:43,600 A beautiful woman. 133 00:08:43,850 --> 00:08:46,308 A female bodyguard? Don't make me laugh! 134 00:08:46,475 --> 00:08:47,808 Go ahead, laugh. 135 00:08:48,225 --> 00:08:51,308 Share with us your Alpha male experience. 136 00:08:52,475 --> 00:08:54,517 Alpha male, just try to touch her. 137 00:08:54,975 --> 00:08:56,517 - Be my guest. - All right. 138 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,725 There you go! 139 00:09:28,475 --> 00:09:29,808 You drank potion? 140 00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:31,433 No. 141 00:09:32,142 --> 00:09:33,225 I don't get it. 142 00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:35,350 I get what's going on. 143 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,392 And you'd better stop right now. 144 00:09:38,558 --> 00:09:41,683 Princess and I are more than friends, see? 145 00:09:42,392 --> 00:09:43,517 - You are? - We are. 146 00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,100 Princess... 147 00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,517 We have arrived. 148 00:09:53,142 --> 00:09:54,308 What is all this? 149 00:09:55,058 --> 00:09:57,100 - It's the chief! - Run! 150 00:09:57,642 --> 00:10:00,225 Vitalstatistix is chief of all us Gauls. 151 00:10:02,142 --> 00:10:03,850 Glad to see you, by Toutatis! 152 00:10:04,642 --> 00:10:07,642 Where's your Uncle Ekonomikrisis? His silk scarves are too small. 153 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:08,933 Really? 154 00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:11,308 He said they'd loosen up. I look loose? 155 00:10:11,475 --> 00:10:12,642 - No. - He's a crook! 156 00:10:13,808 --> 00:10:15,642 He sent me. Let me explain. 157 00:10:16,142 --> 00:10:18,600 Allow me to introduce Princess Sa See, 158 00:10:18,767 --> 00:10:21,225 daughter of the Empress of China. 159 00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:24,683 Who's she? 160 00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,558 - Thanks, Bankruptis. - You're welcome. 161 00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:30,683 Great Chief Vitalstatistix, let me explain the reasons for my visit. 162 00:10:31,017 --> 00:10:32,600 Getafix, is China far? 163 00:10:32,892 --> 00:10:35,642 Yes, it's where the sun rises. That way. 164 00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:45,058 Since the Princess's story could be very, very long, 165 00:10:45,225 --> 00:10:46,892 and not devoid of emotion, 166 00:10:47,058 --> 00:10:50,058 allow me to give you a potted version. 167 00:10:50,225 --> 00:10:52,850 The Princess lives with her mother, the Empress, 168 00:10:53,017 --> 00:10:56,183 who reigns with difficulty, since her husband's death, 169 00:10:56,350 --> 00:10:57,933 over her nation's six kingdoms. 170 00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:02,808 Beloved by her people, the Empress is confronted by ambitious princes, 171 00:11:02,975 --> 00:11:05,142 who secretly covet her throne. 172 00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:09,892 The trouble began on the birthday of Princess Sa See, 173 00:11:10,058 --> 00:11:11,808 whom you met in the village. 174 00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:13,517 So this is a flashback. 175 00:11:18,225 --> 00:11:19,475 Another vase? 176 00:11:21,392 --> 00:11:24,392 Each year, same deal. Who's interested in Chinese vases? 177 00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:28,517 I'm 20 today, and never left this palace. Just gardens and guards! 178 00:11:28,683 --> 00:11:30,683 Sa See, for your security, you know... 179 00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:35,225 Father promised to take me to Lutetia. Its shops, its taverns... 180 00:11:35,392 --> 00:11:36,808 I want to see Gaul. 181 00:11:37,308 --> 00:11:40,642 We discussed this. It's dangerous to travel so far. 182 00:11:40,808 --> 00:11:41,933 The answer is no. 183 00:11:43,350 --> 00:11:44,850 Here, open this one. 184 00:11:46,642 --> 00:11:49,767 It's a coin with your head on it. Newly minted. 185 00:11:50,433 --> 00:11:51,850 To buy a dress in Lutetia? 186 00:11:52,933 --> 00:11:53,933 Sa See! 187 00:12:01,058 --> 00:12:02,517 Prince Deng Tsin Quin... 188 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,600 I hear you raised taxes again in your kingdom, 189 00:12:08,767 --> 00:12:10,475 while your people endures famine. 190 00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,225 If I may, Your Majesty, 191 00:12:12,392 --> 00:12:16,267 Julius Caesar levied taxes across the Roman world, and it works! 192 00:12:16,433 --> 00:12:18,933 No pain, no pleasure, as they say back home. 193 00:12:19,308 --> 00:12:20,308 Who is he? 194 00:12:20,433 --> 00:12:23,183 Pu Nee, my new strategic advisor. 195 00:12:23,350 --> 00:12:26,267 In Rome, he wielded power and influence. 196 00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:30,225 Put the Chinese people before bad Roman advice. 197 00:12:30,808 --> 00:12:33,183 Naturally, Your Imperial Majesty. 198 00:12:34,183 --> 00:12:35,225 Before I leave, 199 00:12:35,392 --> 00:12:38,017 have you considered my marriage proposal? 200 00:12:38,308 --> 00:12:39,725 I spoke with Princess Sa See. 201 00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:40,892 And? 202 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,808 It made us laugh. 203 00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:47,475 Make a woman laugh and... 204 00:12:49,558 --> 00:12:50,558 Sorry. 205 00:12:50,975 --> 00:12:53,725 If it made Your Majesty and her daughter laugh, 206 00:12:53,892 --> 00:12:55,183 then so be it. 207 00:13:01,433 --> 00:13:02,433 Miss Tik... 208 00:13:05,767 --> 00:13:07,225 My faithful warrior, 209 00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:09,058 fetch my daughter. 210 00:13:32,725 --> 00:13:34,183 This is China. 211 00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:37,892 The Chinese love all things Gaul, so we're Gauls. Simple. 212 00:13:38,058 --> 00:13:40,433 For a Phoenecian, it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis. 213 00:13:41,725 --> 00:13:42,808 Ekonomikrisix! 214 00:13:42,975 --> 00:13:44,933 Get it into your head! 215 00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,517 You guys are Premix and Overmix. 216 00:13:47,933 --> 00:13:49,183 We are Gauls. 217 00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,350 Gotix? 218 00:13:50,392 --> 00:13:52,600 As usual, we make all the efforts. 219 00:13:52,892 --> 00:13:53,892 Only you? 220 00:13:57,017 --> 00:13:57,600 Laugh? 221 00:13:57,767 --> 00:13:58,558 You're laughing? 222 00:13:58,725 --> 00:14:00,892 Am I laughing about going blond? 223 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,058 Grab those papyri and hit the streets. Move! 224 00:14:04,225 --> 00:14:06,183 Go, yalla! I mean, let's go. 225 00:14:06,350 --> 00:14:08,183 Put those helmets on! There! 226 00:14:08,683 --> 00:14:09,767 Let's go! 227 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,183 China is ours! 228 00:14:12,850 --> 00:14:13,892 No snooping. 229 00:14:14,517 --> 00:14:15,892 You need help? 230 00:14:16,058 --> 00:14:17,475 Touch it, buy it. Golden rule. 231 00:14:18,392 --> 00:14:19,683 They're genuine Louboutix? 232 00:14:20,142 --> 00:14:21,350 "They're genuine Louboutix?" 233 00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:24,058 Of course they are. Look at the sole! 234 00:14:24,225 --> 00:14:27,975 As red as the price tag. If you can't afford them, try Diskountos. 235 00:14:29,767 --> 00:14:32,225 Give my stall some space. Scram! 236 00:14:33,683 --> 00:14:34,808 You nincompoop! 237 00:14:35,683 --> 00:14:37,058 Sorry, Her Majesty. 238 00:14:37,225 --> 00:14:38,683 Sorry for my nephew. 239 00:14:38,850 --> 00:14:41,392 He has his mother's temper. 240 00:14:41,558 --> 00:14:43,017 True, everybody says so. 241 00:14:43,308 --> 00:14:45,850 Of course, for you, sandals are on the house. 242 00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:48,100 I'll take them out of his wages. 243 00:14:48,267 --> 00:14:50,267 - That hurt. - Yup. Your fault. 244 00:14:50,433 --> 00:14:52,433 Ekonomikrisix, at your service. 245 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,808 No one shakes hands here. 246 00:14:54,975 --> 00:14:56,517 - No one. - Not one. 247 00:14:56,683 --> 00:14:59,517 A most regrettable mistake, Princess. 248 00:15:00,308 --> 00:15:01,308 Gorgeous. 249 00:15:03,725 --> 00:15:05,267 Bankruptix, the nephew. 250 00:15:05,808 --> 00:15:07,517 I have my mother's temper. 251 00:15:07,683 --> 00:15:08,683 As well as... 252 00:15:09,433 --> 00:15:10,433 her eyes. 253 00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:14,892 I envy you your blond hair. 254 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,767 I had no choice, Princess. I was born this way. 255 00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:20,558 Nature decided for me. 256 00:15:20,933 --> 00:15:22,475 Your Imperial Majesty, 257 00:15:22,975 --> 00:15:27,892 if you'd care to forgive us and taste our famous nectar from Gaul, 258 00:15:28,058 --> 00:15:29,225 the honour's all ours. 259 00:15:30,392 --> 00:15:31,392 Come in. 260 00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:33,558 A great vintage. 261 00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:36,767 To celebrate the great and majestic empress. 262 00:15:38,225 --> 00:15:39,933 On the nose, fruity notes. 263 00:15:40,475 --> 00:15:41,558 There's sunshine. 264 00:15:42,517 --> 00:15:43,933 There's pine and shade. 265 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,100 I'm getting hints of chestnut. 266 00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:47,350 Bananas. 267 00:15:47,767 --> 00:15:48,767 And dates. 268 00:15:49,142 --> 00:15:52,142 Overall, more fruit salad than wine. 269 00:15:56,517 --> 00:15:57,808 I want Gaul of it 270 00:16:07,392 --> 00:16:08,392 I'll take the lot. 271 00:16:11,892 --> 00:16:13,017 Perfumes from Gaul? 272 00:16:13,183 --> 00:16:14,975 But of course, Princess. 273 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:16,933 All our perfumes come from Gaul. 274 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,683 Like me and my sales team. 275 00:16:19,933 --> 00:16:21,600 This is the latest creation 276 00:16:21,767 --> 00:16:23,683 that every Gaul lady would die for. 277 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,850 Amphor. 278 00:16:24,933 --> 00:16:25,933 Amphor? 279 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,642 I adore! 280 00:16:27,808 --> 00:16:28,975 I adore, too. 281 00:16:29,142 --> 00:16:30,350 Archers! Loose! 282 00:16:30,517 --> 00:16:31,517 Watch out! 283 00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:40,808 Sa See, are you hurt? 284 00:16:40,975 --> 00:16:42,225 No, mother, I'm fine. 285 00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:43,392 Anything broken? 286 00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:44,933 No, I'm fine. 287 00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:46,308 I meant the stock. 288 00:16:46,683 --> 00:16:47,392 Nice. 289 00:16:47,558 --> 00:16:48,808 Hey, Empress! 290 00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:50,142 Come out, hands up! 291 00:16:50,475 --> 00:16:52,392 And no one will get hurt. 292 00:16:52,933 --> 00:16:53,975 You're encircled. 293 00:16:54,142 --> 00:16:55,350 And slanted! 294 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,308 You said "encircled", like eyes with makeup. 295 00:17:00,475 --> 00:17:01,850 And I added "And..." 296 00:17:06,183 --> 00:17:07,267 There's another exit? 297 00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:08,933 Yes. My secret passage. 298 00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:10,850 In case customs raid... 299 00:17:11,017 --> 00:17:12,642 I mean, in case of fire. 300 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,350 It's the fire escape. 301 00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:17,433 Miss Tik, take my daughter and go. 302 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,267 No, mother. Flee with us. 303 00:17:19,433 --> 00:17:21,392 The Empress of China does not flee. Go! 304 00:17:21,558 --> 00:17:23,100 The traitor wants you. 305 00:17:23,558 --> 00:17:24,558 Let's go. 306 00:17:26,017 --> 00:17:27,475 - Bye, Princess. - Stop it! 307 00:17:27,642 --> 00:17:30,683 I'll stay. A good merchant never abandons his merchandise. 308 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,183 Like a ship's captain. 309 00:17:34,225 --> 00:17:35,517 Go home and fetch the others. 310 00:17:35,683 --> 00:17:36,892 What? Uncle Mahmood? 311 00:17:37,058 --> 00:17:38,725 No! Our other home. 312 00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,058 - That home? - That home! 313 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,225 It's miles away! 314 00:17:41,308 --> 00:17:42,308 So get going! 315 00:17:43,475 --> 00:17:44,475 No, wait! 316 00:17:45,058 --> 00:17:46,683 Take good care of the princess. 317 00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:48,267 We are not losing this sale. 318 00:17:48,433 --> 00:17:51,808 Just imagine. You're saving the Princess of China. 319 00:17:59,392 --> 00:18:00,725 I'll work it out later. 320 00:18:00,892 --> 00:18:01,975 Take care, unc! 321 00:18:07,017 --> 00:18:09,058 I trained in Phoenician boxing. 322 00:18:09,225 --> 00:18:10,225 Leave this to me. 323 00:18:11,183 --> 00:18:13,433 So you guys are harassing the ladies? 324 00:18:18,950 --> 00:18:20,825 I went in there and... 325 00:18:21,992 --> 00:18:23,075 What happened? 326 00:18:23,242 --> 00:18:24,950 You got kicked in the head. 327 00:18:25,617 --> 00:18:27,325 All right, I get it now. 328 00:18:27,492 --> 00:18:29,408 So who's laughing now, Empress? 329 00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:31,617 Excuse me a second, who are you? 330 00:18:31,783 --> 00:18:34,950 I don't get any of this. I'm confused, totally lost. 331 00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:37,950 - Well? - The Princess has vanished. 332 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,575 If she's hiding, she's a smart cookie! 333 00:18:41,033 --> 00:18:42,950 A shifty little fish! 334 00:18:44,158 --> 00:18:45,158 Scour the kingdom! 335 00:18:45,283 --> 00:18:46,658 Offer a handsome reward! 336 00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:49,950 I want her alive at our magnificent forced marriage! 337 00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:53,950 I know my daughter. 338 00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:55,658 She'll come for revenge. 339 00:18:55,825 --> 00:18:58,867 Scary! A spoilt little girl who never left home. 340 00:18:59,033 --> 00:19:01,075 - That's my wife you're talking about. - Sorry. 341 00:19:01,242 --> 00:19:05,075 I'm sorry too. I'm so confused, totally lost! 342 00:19:05,242 --> 00:19:07,075 I'll have you beheaded, Empress. 343 00:19:07,242 --> 00:19:10,075 No, there'll be no beheading. It's rude, sir. 344 00:19:10,242 --> 00:19:12,867 Yes, Deng Tsin Quin, you can't kill the Empress. 345 00:19:13,325 --> 00:19:14,325 What? 346 00:19:14,408 --> 00:19:17,450 It's tricky. The other 4 kingdoms' princes hate you. 347 00:19:17,617 --> 00:19:19,992 They claim you're not Emperor material. 348 00:19:20,158 --> 00:19:23,242 They say you are "physically unbecoming with a tiny..." 349 00:19:23,408 --> 00:19:25,200 - Nonsense. - No, army! 350 00:19:25,492 --> 00:19:27,825 A tiny army. The tiniest of all of them. 351 00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:29,742 In combat, it's hopeless. 352 00:19:29,908 --> 00:19:32,492 Your impudence suggests you have a plan. 353 00:19:32,825 --> 00:19:33,825 Naturally. 354 00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:35,450 My idea... 355 00:19:37,992 --> 00:19:39,700 Take them away! Let's go! 356 00:19:39,867 --> 00:19:40,950 Take it easy! 357 00:19:41,117 --> 00:19:43,783 Easy! Mind the Empress and my wares. 358 00:19:44,158 --> 00:19:45,492 China is ours! 359 00:20:17,742 --> 00:20:19,242 Princess, it'll be fine. 360 00:20:19,408 --> 00:20:20,408 I'm here for you. 361 00:20:21,325 --> 00:20:22,325 I'm here. 362 00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:26,158 Don't worry. We'll help you. 363 00:20:26,617 --> 00:20:29,867 Everyone knows that we Gauls just love to help. 364 00:20:30,033 --> 00:20:31,033 No! 365 00:20:33,367 --> 00:20:34,408 Not a chance. 366 00:20:34,992 --> 00:20:37,200 Was it just me or did her story drag on? 367 00:20:38,658 --> 00:20:42,658 By Benelos, how come folks always come asking us for help? 368 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:44,658 Vitalstatistix, 369 00:20:44,825 --> 00:20:46,033 it's a tradition 370 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,200 for us to help those in need. 371 00:20:48,783 --> 00:20:50,825 Not forgetting Bankrup... 372 00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:52,617 Tis. 373 00:20:52,825 --> 00:20:53,825 Bankruptix. 374 00:20:54,408 --> 00:20:55,783 The answer's no. There! 375 00:20:55,950 --> 00:20:57,283 It's often been yes. 376 00:20:57,492 --> 00:20:58,492 But it's no. 377 00:20:58,950 --> 00:21:00,325 I'm not feeling it. 378 00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:01,825 China's unknown to us. 379 00:21:01,992 --> 00:21:03,575 We don't know where it is. 380 00:21:03,742 --> 00:21:04,533 Sure we do. 381 00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:05,700 Even I know. 382 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,783 It's the way where the sun rises. 383 00:21:09,575 --> 00:21:10,867 Stumped him. 384 00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:12,992 I don't know and I decide. 385 00:21:13,158 --> 00:21:15,033 Great Chief, I respect your decision. 386 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,575 I depart to save my mother and country. 387 00:21:17,992 --> 00:21:18,992 Princess! 388 00:21:21,658 --> 00:21:22,867 I'm up for it. 389 00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:26,117 And anyway, I'm free right now. 390 00:21:27,325 --> 00:21:28,617 I'm free too. 391 00:21:29,075 --> 00:21:30,367 I want to go too. 392 00:21:30,533 --> 00:21:32,533 You two! Who's in the chair? 393 00:21:33,908 --> 00:21:35,575 You're chief now? 394 00:21:35,867 --> 00:21:37,658 Discussion over. It's no. 395 00:21:37,825 --> 00:21:39,700 Are you out of your mind? 396 00:21:40,575 --> 00:21:42,117 Some village chief! 397 00:21:42,492 --> 00:21:44,325 Ignoring a damsel's tears. 398 00:21:44,617 --> 00:21:46,325 - Mimenta... - Don't Mimenta me! 399 00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:49,200 - Welcome our Chinese friends! - Yup. 400 00:21:49,617 --> 00:21:50,825 You and your Gaul! 401 00:21:51,450 --> 00:21:53,075 All because it's too far? 402 00:21:53,242 --> 00:21:54,950 As if you'd be going! 403 00:21:56,408 --> 00:21:58,742 No, it's Asterix and Obelix, as usual. 404 00:22:00,408 --> 00:22:02,658 If some idiot writes our history one day, 405 00:22:02,825 --> 00:22:06,117 the title will never be The Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul. 406 00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:07,908 Dogmatix travels more than you. 407 00:22:08,783 --> 00:22:09,867 Hear that, Dogmatix? 408 00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:13,825 Stones fired! 409 00:22:13,992 --> 00:22:17,242 Magic potion for the boys in the village, you're in. 410 00:22:17,408 --> 00:22:19,742 But anything more delicate, you're out? 411 00:22:28,992 --> 00:22:29,992 All right, go. 412 00:22:33,075 --> 00:22:34,783 Thank you. Heartfelt thanks. 413 00:22:35,617 --> 00:22:39,075 So you're starting on a journey 414 00:22:39,950 --> 00:22:42,158 So we're parting tonight 415 00:22:43,950 --> 00:22:45,492 My heart has turned to... 416 00:22:45,950 --> 00:22:46,950 jelly 417 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:59,075 Meanwhile, in the eternal, beautifully irrigated city of Rome, 418 00:22:59,242 --> 00:23:02,200 Julius Caesar, in his magnificent palace, 419 00:23:02,367 --> 00:23:05,658 lives in domestic bliss with the powerful Queen of Egypt, 420 00:23:05,825 --> 00:23:08,283 sublime, dulcet Cleopatra. 421 00:23:08,450 --> 00:23:09,950 I've had it up to here! 422 00:23:10,117 --> 00:23:12,867 Know what? I've had it up to here! 423 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:19,617 May I ask what you're doing? 424 00:23:19,783 --> 00:23:22,117 Packing my trunks and heading home. 425 00:23:22,283 --> 00:23:24,283 Why didn't I listen to Mummy? 426 00:23:25,408 --> 00:23:28,200 Now it's over, I can tell you. There's another man. 427 00:23:28,617 --> 00:23:29,658 What do you mean? 428 00:23:31,367 --> 00:23:32,783 You can't be serious. 429 00:23:34,117 --> 00:23:36,200 What do you mean, another man? 430 00:23:36,867 --> 00:23:39,533 What is this? Infidelitatis? 431 00:23:39,700 --> 00:23:40,700 Nailed it. 432 00:23:42,658 --> 00:23:43,658 And... 433 00:23:45,117 --> 00:23:47,950 May I ask for whom you leave mighty Caesar? 434 00:23:49,408 --> 00:23:50,533 Tabascos! 435 00:23:52,033 --> 00:23:52,700 Tabascos? 436 00:23:52,867 --> 00:23:53,867 The Greek? 437 00:23:57,533 --> 00:23:59,408 Tabascos the Greek! 438 00:23:59,867 --> 00:24:02,492 So you'd leave mighty Caesar 439 00:24:04,117 --> 00:24:06,033 to shack up with a gym teacher? 440 00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:10,492 Well, we'll discuss this after the lions. 441 00:24:11,492 --> 00:24:13,450 I forbid you to harm him. 442 00:24:14,492 --> 00:24:16,033 I love him, you hear? 443 00:24:16,825 --> 00:24:17,825 You love him? 444 00:24:19,242 --> 00:24:20,367 You love him? 445 00:24:21,992 --> 00:24:23,617 What's he got that I don't? 446 00:24:23,867 --> 00:24:25,492 He's an international gymnast. 447 00:24:25,658 --> 00:24:28,117 Outside Rome and Gaul, you're a complete unknown. 448 00:24:30,283 --> 00:24:32,367 A complete unknown? Julius Caesar? 449 00:24:33,033 --> 00:24:36,742 Fine. You have international ambitions? Go with your athlete. 450 00:24:37,075 --> 00:24:39,408 Let the Greek tsat your ziki! 451 00:24:41,158 --> 00:24:42,908 May I, O Caesar? 452 00:24:43,075 --> 00:24:45,742 Minor marital contretemps. All settled. 453 00:24:46,575 --> 00:24:50,492 Speak, Slius Foxxus, devious and unsightly advisor of mine. 454 00:24:50,658 --> 00:24:51,408 Ave, Caesar! 455 00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:54,325 Your perspicacity captures me perfectly. 456 00:25:02,575 --> 00:25:04,325 May I introduce Pu Nee, 457 00:25:04,492 --> 00:25:08,825 envoy of Prince Deng Tsin Quin, the new master of China. 458 00:25:08,992 --> 00:25:12,450 How does an empire so big have an advisor so small? 459 00:25:13,242 --> 00:25:15,783 Size doesn't matter, skill does, Caesar. 460 00:25:15,950 --> 00:25:17,575 Some men have neither. 461 00:25:21,033 --> 00:25:22,158 She's a looker. 462 00:25:22,533 --> 00:25:23,617 Well, half-pint? 463 00:25:23,992 --> 00:25:27,325 I come to offer you the riches of my adopted land 464 00:25:27,492 --> 00:25:29,867 in return for modest military support. 465 00:25:30,242 --> 00:25:33,492 Your land? Even great Alexander abandoned the conquest of China. 466 00:25:33,658 --> 00:25:38,075 A great opportunity to expand my empire. Your empire, O Caesar! 467 00:25:38,242 --> 00:25:39,742 I have conquered enough. 468 00:25:39,908 --> 00:25:43,158 My name will go down in the annals of history. 469 00:25:43,325 --> 00:25:45,825 I love when you say that. Love it! 470 00:25:45,992 --> 00:25:48,200 What a way with words. Right? 471 00:25:48,533 --> 00:25:50,783 Biopix, my Gallician biographer. 472 00:25:51,158 --> 00:25:54,450 How inspiring is the fabulous tale of almighty Caesar! 473 00:25:54,617 --> 00:25:55,908 Vade retro, both of you. 474 00:25:56,075 --> 00:25:57,575 Caesar, may I point out, 475 00:25:57,742 --> 00:25:59,700 in terms of going down in history, 476 00:25:59,867 --> 00:26:01,950 in China, you are unknown. 477 00:26:02,367 --> 00:26:03,575 What was I saying? 478 00:26:05,242 --> 00:26:06,783 That's quite enough! 479 00:26:08,283 --> 00:26:10,700 I, Julius Caesar, man of a thousand conquests? 480 00:26:10,867 --> 00:26:12,075 Unknown? 481 00:26:12,450 --> 00:26:13,450 Alas! 482 00:26:25,033 --> 00:26:26,492 He speaks the truth. 483 00:26:26,658 --> 00:26:27,783 In China, at least. 484 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,325 It's all good, don't worry. 485 00:26:31,033 --> 00:26:34,283 Pu Nee, step forward to discuss our alliance 486 00:26:34,783 --> 00:26:35,783 with your land 487 00:26:35,950 --> 00:26:38,117 that will soon know my name! 488 00:26:40,492 --> 00:26:43,908 Explain clearly. Be sure not to toss Caesar a salad. 489 00:26:48,283 --> 00:26:50,700 I swapped your clunker for something tougher. 490 00:26:50,867 --> 00:26:54,033 That's what I call a chariot. Unbeatable! On loan from cousin Turbo. 491 00:26:54,533 --> 00:26:55,992 I added boar stomachs. 492 00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,575 A kind of air cushion to absorb shocks. 493 00:27:00,783 --> 00:27:01,867 The sunroof! 494 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,283 You know what? 495 00:27:04,450 --> 00:27:05,950 I made a perfect chariot. 496 00:27:06,325 --> 00:27:07,325 Magnificent. 497 00:27:11,700 --> 00:27:12,700 Let's go! 498 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,242 Princess, if you'd care to board. 499 00:27:20,533 --> 00:27:21,533 Too bad. 500 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,533 We'll have a great trip. 501 00:27:26,450 --> 00:27:29,742 Asterix, I made you a flask of magic potion, 502 00:27:29,908 --> 00:27:33,117 but Obelix tells me you don't need it, so I... 503 00:27:33,533 --> 00:27:34,992 No, that's fine. 504 00:27:37,908 --> 00:27:39,033 But just in case. 505 00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:41,950 I'm cutting down. 506 00:27:42,117 --> 00:27:44,408 Watch out, I beefed it up. 507 00:27:50,575 --> 00:27:51,617 You had some? 508 00:27:52,908 --> 00:27:54,533 No, just a quick taste. 509 00:27:54,867 --> 00:27:55,908 Just to see. 510 00:27:58,658 --> 00:27:59,908 Good luck, Princess. 511 00:28:00,658 --> 00:28:01,700 As for you two, 512 00:28:02,075 --> 00:28:03,908 be brave, reckless 513 00:28:04,075 --> 00:28:06,492 and disingenuous. In a word... 514 00:28:06,992 --> 00:28:07,992 Be Gauls! 515 00:28:10,117 --> 00:28:11,242 Hold on tight. 516 00:28:11,617 --> 00:28:14,450 It'll be much faster than on the way here. 517 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,533 Sorry but can I just point out, 518 00:28:20,242 --> 00:28:24,117 the bard's role is to celebrate heroes and their exploits? 519 00:28:25,658 --> 00:28:27,825 If I never travel, what am I? 520 00:28:29,367 --> 00:28:30,367 Excellent idea. 521 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:32,700 Cacophonix will go with... 522 00:28:37,783 --> 00:28:39,325 They forgot me. 523 00:28:40,158 --> 00:28:43,075 They forgot me! 524 00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:51,950 And so, at high speed, our friends head south, 525 00:28:52,117 --> 00:28:55,533 favouring the maritime route that, according to Getafix, 526 00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:57,617 is faster than the Silk Road. 527 00:28:58,492 --> 00:29:00,992 Having rowed across the Mediterranean, 528 00:29:01,158 --> 00:29:02,367 thanks to Obelix, 529 00:29:02,533 --> 00:29:04,617 they reach northern Africa. 530 00:29:11,283 --> 00:29:12,700 Rub and wring. 531 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,158 Miss Tik, I asked to learn kung fu. 532 00:29:18,075 --> 00:29:19,200 Rub... 533 00:29:20,242 --> 00:29:21,408 and wring. 534 00:29:28,367 --> 00:29:29,575 No, not again. 535 00:29:31,158 --> 00:29:32,992 All good? Enjoying the show? 536 00:29:33,158 --> 00:29:35,867 Want a beer? A chair? Coming right up. 537 00:29:36,992 --> 00:29:39,533 Not coming up! What are you doing? 538 00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:40,700 Same as you. 539 00:29:41,158 --> 00:29:42,492 She knows you peep? 540 00:29:42,658 --> 00:29:43,950 I might tell her. 541 00:29:47,700 --> 00:29:48,700 Sublime! 542 00:29:49,408 --> 00:29:51,158 She's learning to do laundry 543 00:29:51,325 --> 00:29:54,742 to prepare for her new, tougher life in Gaul with me. 544 00:29:55,742 --> 00:29:58,450 A Chinese princess in Gaul? With those hicks? 545 00:29:58,617 --> 00:29:59,867 Don't make me laugh. 546 00:30:00,075 --> 00:30:03,075 When I say Sa See and I are together, you turn deaf? 547 00:30:03,242 --> 00:30:06,408 - You're not together. - We are together. Six months now. 548 00:30:06,575 --> 00:30:07,575 Really? 549 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,325 No way! 550 00:30:09,533 --> 00:30:11,283 My friends, once and for all, 551 00:30:11,450 --> 00:30:14,408 Sa See and I are serious. It's love. And marriage. 552 00:30:15,658 --> 00:30:17,658 - Congrats, Bankruptis. - Thank you. 553 00:30:17,825 --> 00:30:19,492 I love weddings. Love them. 554 00:30:19,658 --> 00:30:21,408 - With a banquet? - Of course. 555 00:30:21,575 --> 00:30:23,742 Know what? You'll be my best man. 556 00:30:24,575 --> 00:30:26,867 Thank you. I was never anyone's best man. 557 00:30:27,325 --> 00:30:29,825 Can you stop being so gullible? 558 00:30:29,992 --> 00:30:31,158 It gets annoying. 559 00:30:31,450 --> 00:30:33,783 - If they're in love, don't blame me. - Yup. 560 00:30:33,950 --> 00:30:35,283 They're not in love. 561 00:30:35,450 --> 00:30:37,867 If Sa See isn't with anyone, she's with no one. 562 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:39,200 It's on. 563 00:30:39,242 --> 00:30:42,367 I can't wait to see her face when I tell her... 564 00:30:43,117 --> 00:30:45,283 You're a phony Gaul and fake blonde. 565 00:30:45,450 --> 00:30:49,700 Yeah? Well, I can't wait to see her face when I tell her your moustache... 566 00:30:49,867 --> 00:30:51,200 What about it? 567 00:30:51,367 --> 00:30:52,492 Your moustache... 568 00:30:53,658 --> 00:30:54,658 sucks. 569 00:30:57,950 --> 00:30:58,950 So lame. 570 00:31:01,700 --> 00:31:02,700 I went too far. 571 00:31:02,742 --> 00:31:03,825 Not the moustache! 572 00:31:03,992 --> 00:31:05,367 I know but he pushes me. 573 00:31:05,533 --> 00:31:07,325 Sure but not the moustache! 574 00:31:08,325 --> 00:31:09,325 What's he doing? 575 00:31:09,867 --> 00:31:12,200 Unbelievable! He's snitching on us! 576 00:31:12,575 --> 00:31:14,325 He's something else, your friend! 577 00:31:14,492 --> 00:31:15,658 She's coming our way. 578 00:31:18,158 --> 00:31:19,158 What's up? 579 00:31:19,325 --> 00:31:22,367 Nothing. We're just looking for a date. 580 00:31:23,492 --> 00:31:24,575 For the wedding. 581 00:31:24,742 --> 00:31:26,367 No, to eat. The fruit! 582 00:31:26,533 --> 00:31:27,533 At the wedding. 583 00:31:27,617 --> 00:31:28,825 No, to eat here. 584 00:31:28,992 --> 00:31:30,200 I'm the best man! 585 00:31:30,533 --> 00:31:33,117 He's impossible. He talks nonsense. 586 00:31:34,575 --> 00:31:35,658 Yes, let's go. 587 00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:39,992 Is it so hard to let me do the talking? 588 00:31:46,325 --> 00:31:47,492 'Night, Smartypants! 589 00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:50,617 'Night, Two-Faced Friend! 590 00:31:52,242 --> 00:31:53,408 'Night, Veggie Lover! 591 00:31:53,867 --> 00:31:56,658 Veggies are yummy. So yummy! 592 00:31:56,825 --> 00:31:58,367 'Night, Fake Blonde! 593 00:31:58,950 --> 00:32:00,867 Can't you just say goodnight? 594 00:32:01,992 --> 00:32:02,992 It was him. 595 00:32:03,117 --> 00:32:04,283 'Night, Miss Tik. 596 00:32:10,617 --> 00:32:12,658 You think Mother's still alive? 597 00:32:13,117 --> 00:32:16,158 The Empress is the daughter of the heavens. 598 00:32:16,658 --> 00:32:18,242 No harm can come to her. 599 00:32:21,700 --> 00:32:24,033 'Night, I'm In Love and can't admit it! 600 00:32:24,367 --> 00:32:27,825 'Night, Poppycock who's so fat that he's all belly! 601 00:32:27,992 --> 00:32:31,658 'Night, Lonesome Gaul, so alone like a tiny insect! 602 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:32,908 Enough! 603 00:32:33,075 --> 00:32:33,783 Yes. 604 00:32:33,950 --> 00:32:34,950 Sorry. 605 00:32:55,117 --> 00:32:57,283 Hello, how are you? 606 00:32:57,742 --> 00:32:59,033 Good trip? 607 00:33:14,908 --> 00:33:17,908 Your daughter's vanished. We looked too long in a land too big. 608 00:33:18,075 --> 00:33:20,533 Hello perhaps? There's two of us. 609 00:33:21,158 --> 00:33:23,992 When military support arrives, off with your head. 610 00:33:24,158 --> 00:33:28,408 I remember now. You're the guy who loves beheading folks. 611 00:33:28,575 --> 00:33:29,575 You too, merchant. 612 00:33:30,117 --> 00:33:32,783 No, leave me out of this. We really need to... 613 00:33:32,950 --> 00:33:34,242 Balls for you! 614 00:33:39,242 --> 00:33:40,242 Day one. 615 00:33:40,867 --> 00:33:43,992 When no balls are left, if the princess won't show, 616 00:33:45,617 --> 00:33:46,617 you two... 617 00:33:49,450 --> 00:33:50,492 We have two lives. 618 00:33:50,658 --> 00:33:53,617 The second begins when we see we have only one. 619 00:33:55,275 --> 00:33:56,275 I thank you. 620 00:34:00,025 --> 00:34:01,900 That's what I call an Empress. 621 00:34:02,525 --> 00:34:03,358 Love it. 622 00:34:03,525 --> 00:34:06,067 We have two lives and it ends when... 623 00:34:06,233 --> 00:34:08,400 The second life begins with... 624 00:34:09,983 --> 00:34:12,817 We have two lives and when they begin... 625 00:34:13,650 --> 00:34:14,650 I thank you. 626 00:34:21,442 --> 00:34:22,442 Meanwhile, 627 00:34:22,525 --> 00:34:25,317 Caesar, his immense army and Pu Nee 628 00:34:25,483 --> 00:34:28,775 travel the Silk Road, headed at top speed for China. 629 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:30,233 Or almost. 630 00:34:31,817 --> 00:34:32,983 This is the Silk Road? 631 00:34:33,150 --> 00:34:35,400 We're lost, aren't we? Just admit it. 632 00:34:36,108 --> 00:34:38,108 Woopsus, what is this route? 633 00:34:38,608 --> 00:34:40,900 At least 9,000 men struck northwards. 634 00:34:41,067 --> 00:34:42,567 I can't work like this. 635 00:34:42,733 --> 00:34:44,108 It's just impossible! 636 00:34:44,900 --> 00:34:46,733 Join the army, they said! 637 00:34:50,942 --> 00:34:53,025 Woopsus, your call, left or right? 638 00:34:53,192 --> 00:34:55,108 Easy-peasy papyrus, Caesar. Left. 639 00:34:55,275 --> 00:34:56,442 So we'll go right. 640 00:34:56,983 --> 00:34:59,942 Sorry, will this go on long? Left-right, right-left... 641 00:35:00,108 --> 00:35:02,692 We'll reach China on the 12th of Never. 642 00:35:03,233 --> 00:35:04,233 The upstart! 643 00:35:04,317 --> 00:35:05,942 Hail! Risklus, imperial security. 644 00:35:06,692 --> 00:35:08,400 Risklus, imperial security. 645 00:35:10,858 --> 00:35:14,067 Risklus! Everyone knows you here. Where is Antivirus? 646 00:35:14,483 --> 00:35:16,233 Still on the campaign in Milan. 647 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,233 He's not reading my pigeons. 648 00:35:19,983 --> 00:35:21,150 Caesar, I'm here. 649 00:35:22,150 --> 00:35:24,900 - It's not the same. - Not at all the same. 650 00:35:25,067 --> 00:35:26,192 What do you want? 651 00:35:26,733 --> 00:35:30,192 Almighty Caesar, Carioca, head dancer, wants an audience. 652 00:35:30,358 --> 00:35:33,025 She has demands. For respect or something. 653 00:35:33,192 --> 00:35:34,192 I beat her? 654 00:35:34,817 --> 00:35:35,817 Are you nuts? 655 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:37,442 Show her in. 656 00:35:40,775 --> 00:35:41,775 Tapioca! 657 00:35:48,233 --> 00:35:50,275 So, Carioca, what do you want? 658 00:35:50,692 --> 00:35:54,233 Caesar, we received new outfits and what do we see? 659 00:35:54,608 --> 00:35:56,400 Shorter than ever. What a surprise! 660 00:35:58,567 --> 00:36:01,150 If you want go-go taverns, Rome is full of them. 661 00:36:01,858 --> 00:36:03,192 I'm sure I have no idea. 662 00:36:03,358 --> 00:36:05,858 Sure! The Palladium near the market. 663 00:36:06,025 --> 00:36:07,733 Or there's Sternum, or Scrotum. 664 00:36:07,900 --> 00:36:08,900 Right... 665 00:36:09,900 --> 00:36:13,150 So, what do you want? Longer outfits for your dancers? 666 00:36:13,317 --> 00:36:14,317 It's a start. 667 00:36:14,358 --> 00:36:18,525 And let's talk about the role of women in Roman society. 668 00:36:18,775 --> 00:36:21,692 Look closely and it's all about men here. 669 00:36:21,858 --> 00:36:23,400 Gladiators? Men. 670 00:36:23,567 --> 00:36:24,900 Senators? Men only. 671 00:36:25,067 --> 00:36:26,525 Legionaries? Men only. 672 00:36:26,692 --> 00:36:28,275 Caesars? Men only. 673 00:36:28,733 --> 00:36:30,400 You want a Julia Caesar? 674 00:36:34,233 --> 00:36:35,900 You want Rome run by a woman? 675 00:36:38,358 --> 00:36:39,358 I see. 676 00:36:47,692 --> 00:36:49,358 Back to our friends. 677 00:36:49,525 --> 00:36:54,442 After crossing the Egyptian desert in sweltering heat, 678 00:36:54,608 --> 00:36:58,317 they reach the Red Sea and the city of Klysma, 679 00:36:58,483 --> 00:37:02,358 a small Egyptian port, later known as Suez. 680 00:37:02,525 --> 00:37:03,775 Yes, like the canal. 681 00:37:09,900 --> 00:37:13,567 If we want a captain, I guarantee we'll find one here. 682 00:37:14,317 --> 00:37:17,025 Look, Asterix, the tavern's called Little Lutetia. 683 00:37:17,483 --> 00:37:23,608 Dare to come and cast the first stone 684 00:37:26,858 --> 00:37:29,317 To fall for one head over heels 685 00:37:29,483 --> 00:37:31,192 leaves a wound that never heals 686 00:37:31,358 --> 00:37:35,442 But the love you feel is the real deal 687 00:37:38,650 --> 00:37:41,233 So don't be harsh or disapprove 688 00:37:41,900 --> 00:37:44,692 When a woman falls in love 689 00:37:46,692 --> 00:37:49,025 - You don't know it. - I know it by heart. 690 00:37:49,192 --> 00:37:51,858 With a man who sweeps her off her feet 691 00:37:58,192 --> 00:37:59,817 See? That's Gaul for you! 692 00:37:59,983 --> 00:38:01,317 I love this place. 693 00:38:01,650 --> 00:38:03,817 Exactly how I pictured Lutetia. 694 00:38:05,775 --> 00:38:06,775 Same here. 695 00:38:11,733 --> 00:38:14,108 That's so good! You're a Gaul for sure. 696 00:38:14,483 --> 00:38:16,400 Yes, duckie. Born and bred. 697 00:38:16,650 --> 00:38:19,275 - You've lived here long? - Donkey's years. 698 00:38:19,442 --> 00:38:21,358 I had a small cabaret in Lutetia. 699 00:38:21,525 --> 00:38:25,317 A hotspot, raking it in, but I fell for a fella, 700 00:38:25,483 --> 00:38:27,692 a lowlife who wanted me as his floozy. 701 00:38:27,858 --> 00:38:29,692 And to clean me out! 702 00:38:30,567 --> 00:38:33,025 So who took her dosh and hightailed it here? 703 00:38:33,192 --> 00:38:35,525 Yours truly. Tipsy, that's me! 704 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,150 What brings you blondies here? 705 00:38:38,525 --> 00:38:40,692 Looking for the best ship's captain. 706 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:42,775 He's your man. Titanix! 707 00:38:44,942 --> 00:38:45,942 He's reliable? 708 00:38:46,275 --> 00:38:49,025 Titanix is top-notch. Unsinkable! 709 00:38:49,983 --> 00:38:51,317 Thanks for your help, Tipsy. 710 00:38:51,483 --> 00:38:52,692 Anything for a Gaul! 711 00:38:53,733 --> 00:38:55,358 Normally, mutts stay outside. 712 00:38:55,525 --> 00:38:57,025 But you're a real cutie. 713 00:39:03,567 --> 00:39:05,817 We're looking for a boat to China. 714 00:39:05,983 --> 00:39:08,650 China by sea? Too much hassle. 715 00:39:09,525 --> 00:39:10,983 Here's what I got for you... 716 00:39:11,150 --> 00:39:12,817 A quick visit of the coves of Klysma, 717 00:39:12,983 --> 00:39:16,067 all-you-can-eat and swimming, plus the sunset. 718 00:39:17,150 --> 00:39:18,150 Tasty. 719 00:39:19,775 --> 00:39:21,067 Another time. 720 00:39:21,233 --> 00:39:23,400 This is worth more than your boat. 721 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:25,942 Why didn't you say so? 722 00:39:26,442 --> 00:39:27,525 So how's it... 723 00:39:27,692 --> 00:39:30,567 You think I'll stand by and let you extort me? 724 00:39:30,733 --> 00:39:33,192 Get out before I get out my cudgel! 725 00:39:33,733 --> 00:39:35,775 Tipsy's steaming up. Trouble ahoy. 726 00:39:35,942 --> 00:39:36,983 A problem, Tipsy? 727 00:39:37,150 --> 00:39:39,567 These gents want to dip into my pockets. 728 00:39:39,733 --> 00:39:43,567 They'll get a dose of their own medicine. Nobody messes with Tipsy. 729 00:39:44,942 --> 00:39:47,150 Lightweights! Fooling with a Gaul. 730 00:39:47,317 --> 00:39:49,192 What do you want with the lady? 731 00:39:50,275 --> 00:39:51,400 You're the lightweight. 732 00:39:56,817 --> 00:39:57,817 Screwy. 733 00:39:57,942 --> 00:39:59,108 Princess, in Gaul, 734 00:39:59,275 --> 00:40:01,858 when heavyweights run their mouths off, 735 00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,900 flyweights don't listen. 736 00:40:32,858 --> 00:40:33,858 He's a lizard! 737 00:40:41,858 --> 00:40:42,858 What is this? 738 00:40:54,150 --> 00:40:56,942 A very, very strong batch. He overdid it. 739 00:40:57,900 --> 00:40:59,900 Give me a drop. No one will know. 740 00:41:00,067 --> 00:41:01,067 No chance. 741 00:41:04,900 --> 00:41:06,525 One's yours. Take your pick. 742 00:41:06,983 --> 00:41:08,525 The big guy, I guess. 743 00:41:11,608 --> 00:41:12,650 Gentlemen... 744 00:41:22,150 --> 00:41:25,608 I'm not allowed it ever since I fell in as a kid. 745 00:41:26,108 --> 00:41:27,400 So it will hurt less. 746 00:41:46,483 --> 00:41:49,608 Imagine a mini-amphora with two wings painted on it, 747 00:41:49,775 --> 00:41:51,733 containing a drop of magic potion. 748 00:41:51,900 --> 00:41:53,692 A kind of pick-me-up. 749 00:41:54,067 --> 00:41:56,442 We market it as an invigorating drink... 750 00:41:56,608 --> 00:41:59,067 I'll come up with a name for it. 751 00:41:59,442 --> 00:42:03,942 In Rome, with all the orgies and kids dancing through the night, 752 00:42:04,108 --> 00:42:05,275 we'll make a killing. 753 00:42:05,733 --> 00:42:08,150 Count me in. I'll handle transport. 754 00:42:09,483 --> 00:42:10,483 What's that? 755 00:42:10,733 --> 00:42:11,983 It's tai chi. 756 00:42:12,150 --> 00:42:14,983 An ancestral technique to boost the body's energy. 757 00:42:16,025 --> 00:42:17,692 It's crazy, us meeting now. 758 00:42:18,317 --> 00:42:21,317 My new lifestyle's so in step with your culture. 759 00:42:21,983 --> 00:42:24,900 Balance, nutrition, energies, everything! 760 00:42:25,858 --> 00:42:27,358 The two of us are so connected. 761 00:42:33,317 --> 00:42:35,025 - Done? - Meditation. 762 00:42:35,192 --> 00:42:35,942 Great! 763 00:42:36,108 --> 00:42:37,108 No talking! 764 00:42:43,067 --> 00:42:44,317 It's a fine coin. 765 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,442 That's you? 766 00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:51,275 Yes. A gift from my mother. 767 00:42:52,483 --> 00:42:53,483 That's real love. 768 00:42:56,942 --> 00:42:58,192 When I received it, 769 00:42:59,108 --> 00:43:00,108 I didn't smile. 770 00:43:01,150 --> 00:43:02,650 Don't worry, Princess. 771 00:43:03,108 --> 00:43:04,817 I'll rescue your mother. 772 00:43:05,775 --> 00:43:06,775 I'm here for you. 773 00:43:07,983 --> 00:43:09,525 Quick correction, sorry. 774 00:43:09,692 --> 00:43:11,067 We are here for you. 775 00:43:11,233 --> 00:43:14,733 Some of us were here for you from the start of the adventure. 776 00:43:15,775 --> 00:43:17,067 Excuse me. 777 00:43:17,442 --> 00:43:18,483 Princess... 778 00:43:24,275 --> 00:43:25,358 What are you doing? 779 00:43:25,525 --> 00:43:27,150 That was 2 balls! 780 00:43:27,317 --> 00:43:28,983 Put 1 back. That was 2 balls! 781 00:43:29,150 --> 00:43:31,650 Put 1 back. Don't screw me on the balls. 782 00:43:31,817 --> 00:43:33,317 It's extra jailtime for me. 783 00:43:34,858 --> 00:43:36,983 By the way, did you think over... 784 00:43:38,358 --> 00:43:39,358 my offer? 785 00:43:42,192 --> 00:43:43,900 Playing hard to get. 786 00:43:44,483 --> 00:43:47,025 I'm used to tough negotiations, though. 787 00:43:47,192 --> 00:43:48,817 - Ekonomikrisis... - Yes? 788 00:43:48,983 --> 00:43:50,650 If we get out one day, 789 00:43:51,025 --> 00:43:53,817 would you like to keep trading in China? 790 00:43:54,567 --> 00:43:56,025 - Sure. - So shut up. 791 00:43:57,942 --> 00:44:00,108 They put us together to torture me. 792 00:44:00,817 --> 00:44:02,025 Let's not exaggerate. 793 00:44:03,275 --> 00:44:04,608 Perhaps it's... 794 00:44:05,358 --> 00:44:07,067 destiny bringing us together. 795 00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,108 Maktub, as they say back home. 796 00:44:10,442 --> 00:44:12,775 You're very beautiful in a temper. 797 00:44:31,692 --> 00:44:32,483 Gents! 798 00:44:32,650 --> 00:44:35,317 Here, on the Red Sea, no more fatal encounters! 799 00:44:35,692 --> 00:44:37,817 Who are the predators here? 800 00:44:37,983 --> 00:44:39,567 - We are! - Bang on! 801 00:44:41,192 --> 00:44:43,358 Ship ahoy! 802 00:44:44,525 --> 00:44:45,567 Thanks, lookout! 803 00:44:45,733 --> 00:44:46,942 Just doing my job! 804 00:44:47,358 --> 00:44:49,483 No lavish ship will escape us. 805 00:44:49,650 --> 00:44:50,983 We sleep tonight in silk! 806 00:45:06,275 --> 00:45:07,025 The Gauls? 807 00:45:07,192 --> 00:45:09,442 It's the Gauls! 808 00:45:12,192 --> 00:45:13,358 Peek-a-boo! 809 00:45:13,858 --> 00:45:14,858 Hi, guys! 810 00:45:19,608 --> 00:45:20,692 Not the Gauls! 811 00:45:20,858 --> 00:45:21,858 Why us? 812 00:45:23,275 --> 00:45:24,483 There are other ships. 813 00:45:25,442 --> 00:45:27,817 Morning, could you pretend not to see us? 814 00:45:27,983 --> 00:45:29,400 But we have seen you. 815 00:45:29,900 --> 00:45:30,900 That's fair. 816 00:45:31,942 --> 00:45:32,942 Prepare our defences! 817 00:45:33,108 --> 00:45:34,108 Let's go! 818 00:45:38,608 --> 00:45:40,525 Freshly painted too! 819 00:45:41,067 --> 00:45:42,400 Watch out now! 820 00:45:47,150 --> 00:45:48,817 Don't think I enjoy it. 821 00:45:50,150 --> 00:45:51,150 No, wait. 822 00:45:52,192 --> 00:45:53,608 Watch some Chinese fighting. 823 00:46:12,067 --> 00:46:13,233 What now, skipper? 824 00:46:14,733 --> 00:46:15,858 I'm not feeling it. 825 00:46:16,025 --> 00:46:17,817 Let's go anyway. Attack! 826 00:46:21,692 --> 00:46:22,858 No, go back! 827 00:46:23,025 --> 00:46:24,483 Michel, go on! 828 00:46:38,900 --> 00:46:40,275 That's gotta hurt. 829 00:46:48,650 --> 00:46:49,858 That's too many feet! 830 00:46:51,317 --> 00:46:52,567 Let me through. 831 00:46:56,317 --> 00:46:57,525 Sorry, skipper. 832 00:46:57,692 --> 00:46:58,817 Where you going? 833 00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:00,525 Going out like a prince. 834 00:47:02,150 --> 00:47:03,358 Behind you! 835 00:47:07,858 --> 00:47:09,567 Cool it, crazywoman! 836 00:47:50,067 --> 00:47:51,067 Comrades, 837 00:47:51,442 --> 00:47:53,525 official reason for us sinking, 838 00:47:53,692 --> 00:47:55,733 we ran into a Chinese tornado. 839 00:48:05,692 --> 00:48:06,692 May I? 840 00:48:07,275 --> 00:48:08,275 Yes. 841 00:48:12,108 --> 00:48:13,108 Beautiful. 842 00:48:14,650 --> 00:48:15,942 I wanted to say, 843 00:48:16,608 --> 00:48:18,108 you fight fabulously. 844 00:48:19,025 --> 00:48:20,025 Thank you. 845 00:48:21,192 --> 00:48:23,483 How come you never use the potion? 846 00:48:23,650 --> 00:48:24,817 I'm not allowed to. 847 00:48:26,775 --> 00:48:29,525 Dangerous, apparently. One shot too many. 848 00:48:32,192 --> 00:48:35,275 I'd love to feel that kick just one more time. 849 00:49:24,775 --> 00:49:25,775 Obelix? 850 00:49:28,108 --> 00:49:29,108 Mummy! 851 00:49:34,567 --> 00:49:36,275 The feeling is extraordinary. 852 00:49:36,608 --> 00:49:38,983 Fizzing through your head and body. A bit like... 853 00:49:39,150 --> 00:49:41,192 falling in love, so I hear. 854 00:50:07,567 --> 00:50:10,317 Having found their way again at last, 855 00:50:10,483 --> 00:50:12,650 Caesar and his powerful army 856 00:50:12,817 --> 00:50:15,983 cross Persia, the mountains of India, 857 00:50:16,150 --> 00:50:17,733 the Mongolian steppes, 858 00:50:17,900 --> 00:50:20,400 and finally reach the gates of China, 859 00:50:20,567 --> 00:50:22,733 where the formidable Deng Tsin Quin 860 00:50:22,900 --> 00:50:24,858 is perfecting his dastardly plan 861 00:50:25,025 --> 00:50:27,067 to conquer all six kingdoms. 862 00:50:33,983 --> 00:50:34,983 Ave! 863 00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:36,442 This is the war? 864 00:50:36,608 --> 00:50:37,608 Prince Deng Tsin Quin, 865 00:50:37,775 --> 00:50:39,233 allow me to introduce... 866 00:50:39,775 --> 00:50:43,317 Julius Caesar himself. Impressive, I know, but deep breaths 867 00:50:43,483 --> 00:50:44,942 and everything will be fine. 868 00:50:45,525 --> 00:50:48,442 So where are these rebels you can't keep in check? 869 00:50:48,608 --> 00:50:52,067 War's a full-time job. Good idea to call in the professionals. 870 00:50:54,108 --> 00:50:55,400 Aren't you overthinking it? 871 00:50:55,567 --> 00:50:57,608 No, simply following Sun Tzu, 872 00:50:57,983 --> 00:50:59,608 the greatest Chinese strategist, 873 00:50:59,775 --> 00:51:01,233 who wrote The Art of War. 874 00:51:01,983 --> 00:51:03,150 The Fart is Raw? 875 00:51:04,817 --> 00:51:08,775 Anyway, shrimps, keep those eyes open. We'll make short work of this. 876 00:51:09,442 --> 00:51:10,192 All right... 877 00:51:10,358 --> 00:51:12,198 - If you want peace... - Prepare for war. 878 00:51:12,233 --> 00:51:13,233 Exactly! 879 00:51:14,525 --> 00:51:15,608 He's hard work. 880 00:51:15,775 --> 00:51:16,775 A maniac. 881 00:51:16,942 --> 00:51:20,067 Mega-pretentious, too. First decan cancer. The pits. 882 00:51:20,775 --> 00:51:23,400 I had no idea. I need sleep. Chariot-lag. 883 00:51:27,692 --> 00:51:29,275 Biopix, new chapter. 884 00:51:29,442 --> 00:51:31,983 After Caesar the Seducer, 885 00:51:32,650 --> 00:51:33,983 Caesar the Strategist. 886 00:51:34,150 --> 00:51:36,650 Hold on, change of scroll and I'm all yours. 887 00:51:36,817 --> 00:51:38,358 - Helmet! - Hoofus! 888 00:51:50,025 --> 00:51:51,025 Sword! 889 00:51:54,608 --> 00:51:55,442 What on earth? 890 00:51:55,608 --> 00:51:57,817 - Last time you cut yourself... - Enough! 891 00:51:59,275 --> 00:52:00,983 Any news of Antivirus? 892 00:52:01,150 --> 00:52:03,150 He's here and ready, almighty Caesar. 893 00:52:03,317 --> 00:52:04,400 All right, let's go! 894 00:52:09,525 --> 00:52:10,525 All together! 895 00:52:14,358 --> 00:52:16,442 - Goose bumps. - Same here. 896 00:53:36,067 --> 00:53:37,275 Antivirus, I love you! 897 00:53:50,442 --> 00:53:53,192 Antivirus, don't go losing your cool. 898 00:53:53,608 --> 00:53:55,400 Cut the pushing. It hurts. 899 00:53:55,567 --> 00:53:57,150 You wanted Antivirus, 900 00:53:57,567 --> 00:53:59,358 I gave you Antivirus. 901 00:53:59,525 --> 00:54:02,483 Now go back to your chariot races. 902 00:54:04,942 --> 00:54:07,192 Why talk when you can fly. 903 00:54:31,775 --> 00:54:33,400 A walk in the park! 904 00:54:35,900 --> 00:54:37,192 In a few days, 905 00:54:37,358 --> 00:54:39,025 I shall be master of China. 906 00:54:40,108 --> 00:54:44,233 I almost envy you, getting a first taste of Rome's power. 907 00:54:44,858 --> 00:54:47,108 Veni, vidi, vici. 908 00:54:48,150 --> 00:54:50,358 Caesar, you spoil me. 909 00:54:50,525 --> 00:54:52,317 I've got it word for word. 910 00:54:52,483 --> 00:54:54,900 - Awkward. This is for dinner? - Yes. 911 00:54:55,067 --> 00:54:56,817 - No sense of hospitality. - No. 912 00:54:57,983 --> 00:54:59,733 And Antivirus? Not here? 913 00:55:00,108 --> 00:55:01,108 He's sleeping. 914 00:55:01,275 --> 00:55:02,275 Sleeping? 915 00:55:02,358 --> 00:55:03,358 I'm here, Caesar. 916 00:55:03,442 --> 00:55:05,650 - Yes, but it's not the same. - Not at all. 917 00:55:07,442 --> 00:55:09,942 You have one last kingdom to conquer. 918 00:55:10,108 --> 00:55:11,108 The trickiest. 919 00:55:12,358 --> 00:55:14,233 Our victories echo around the land. 920 00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:16,108 And the Ku Koos never give up. 921 00:55:16,275 --> 00:55:19,067 Fine. Let's see who's the biggest Ku Koo. 922 00:55:21,150 --> 00:55:24,067 Not laughing. King So Ku Koo passed this winter. 923 00:55:24,858 --> 00:55:27,608 His son and heir, Prince of Ku Koo, is 20 924 00:55:27,775 --> 00:55:30,525 and wears a mask to hide a terrible malformation. 925 00:55:30,692 --> 00:55:32,358 The man in the bamboo mask. 926 00:55:32,858 --> 00:55:33,692 A death 927 00:55:33,858 --> 00:55:37,317 and taking a drubbing from Caesar. Bad year for the Ku Koos. 928 00:55:38,483 --> 00:55:39,692 By the way... 929 00:55:40,983 --> 00:55:42,525 you seem a bit cuckoo. 930 00:55:43,192 --> 00:55:45,525 No, I'm a Quin. No relation. 931 00:55:45,692 --> 00:55:46,692 I mean... 932 00:55:49,608 --> 00:55:51,025 you're totally cuckoo, right? 933 00:55:57,608 --> 00:56:02,150 Why would you want my help in ousting you from your own kingdom? 934 00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:04,192 What do you stand to gain, 935 00:56:04,358 --> 00:56:06,358 Deng Tsin Quin? 936 00:56:07,650 --> 00:56:09,817 You plan to give me a Caesarian 937 00:56:09,983 --> 00:56:11,900 after I conquer all the kingdoms? 938 00:56:12,317 --> 00:56:13,317 No. 939 00:56:13,775 --> 00:56:15,025 I'd never do that. 940 00:56:15,525 --> 00:56:16,525 Really? 941 00:56:17,983 --> 00:56:18,983 I would. 942 00:56:19,733 --> 00:56:21,108 At the drop of a hat! 943 00:56:22,650 --> 00:56:23,650 Good one! 944 00:56:25,650 --> 00:56:27,358 Tell me, O Caesar, 945 00:56:28,067 --> 00:56:30,025 did you know that Queen Cleopatra 946 00:56:30,192 --> 00:56:31,733 is highly respected in China? 947 00:56:32,525 --> 00:56:33,525 That's true. 948 00:56:33,608 --> 00:56:36,817 She's done so much for the conservation of pandas that... 949 00:56:37,442 --> 00:56:39,567 What's she like in real life? Cool? 950 00:56:54,608 --> 00:56:56,150 Home at last. 951 00:56:57,525 --> 00:57:00,400 Can you smell the bamboo, eucalyptus and ginger? 952 00:57:01,900 --> 00:57:03,983 Don't bother. They have no idea. 953 00:57:04,442 --> 00:57:06,025 I smell them, though. 954 00:57:06,858 --> 00:57:07,900 What sweet scent! 955 00:57:08,442 --> 00:57:09,442 Titanix, 956 00:57:09,608 --> 00:57:11,608 you'll head straight back to Egypt? 957 00:57:11,775 --> 00:57:14,358 No, straight on till I'm back where I started, 958 00:57:14,525 --> 00:57:16,067 to prove the earth's round. 959 00:57:46,608 --> 00:57:48,650 Didn't I promise you'd be back? 960 00:57:54,233 --> 00:57:56,858 Miss Tik, how will we find your master here? 961 00:57:57,025 --> 00:57:58,317 He will find us. 962 00:58:16,442 --> 00:58:18,525 - What was the message? - Nothing. 963 00:58:19,692 --> 00:58:21,150 The bald guy's a friend? 964 00:58:22,608 --> 00:58:24,650 Why not tell me if it's nothing? 965 00:58:26,567 --> 00:58:30,275 Master Sill Lee will come to the inn where we're staying. 966 00:58:31,442 --> 00:58:33,733 Why all the mystery? 967 00:58:33,900 --> 00:58:35,275 I've lost my appetite now! 968 00:58:38,108 --> 00:58:39,692 He's never like that. 969 00:58:41,150 --> 00:58:45,108 Could be the fatigue, time difference and culture shock. 970 00:58:45,567 --> 00:58:47,150 Can we talk honestly? 971 00:58:47,775 --> 00:58:51,192 We're hardly bosom buddies. I hate you, and it feels mutual. 972 00:58:52,442 --> 00:58:54,692 But it's really tense between you two. 973 00:58:54,942 --> 00:58:56,650 The tension's getting to us all. 974 00:58:57,358 --> 00:58:58,650 - It is? - Yes. 975 00:58:59,567 --> 00:59:01,525 I have an idea for you both 976 00:59:02,025 --> 00:59:05,067 and honestly it will do you the world of good. 977 00:59:07,733 --> 00:59:09,650 Obelix, we need to talk. 978 00:59:10,192 --> 00:59:11,317 I'm all ears. 979 00:59:11,483 --> 00:59:15,233 You've noticed the Princess and I have a real good thing going? 980 00:59:17,192 --> 00:59:18,192 For sure. 981 00:59:19,858 --> 00:59:22,067 I think it would be simpler... 982 00:59:22,775 --> 00:59:24,942 if she moved to our village. 983 00:59:25,108 --> 00:59:26,108 All right. 984 00:59:27,025 --> 00:59:28,525 You and I are... 985 00:59:28,942 --> 00:59:30,775 We've lived together for ages. 986 00:59:31,317 --> 00:59:33,317 We never said it was for life. 987 00:59:34,525 --> 00:59:35,942 Seeing as, originally, 988 00:59:36,275 --> 00:59:38,108 it was my parents' hut... 989 00:59:42,150 --> 00:59:43,900 You'd like me to move out? 990 00:59:44,900 --> 00:59:45,900 Yes. 991 00:59:50,067 --> 00:59:51,525 What a relief! 992 00:59:51,692 --> 00:59:54,983 I want to move out and had no idea how to tell you. 993 00:59:55,608 --> 00:59:56,608 Really? 994 00:59:59,108 --> 01:00:00,400 I'm in love, too. 995 01:00:01,942 --> 01:00:02,983 You're in love? 996 01:00:03,817 --> 01:00:05,442 Beautiful Miss Tik. 997 01:00:08,775 --> 01:00:09,775 Miss Tik? 998 01:00:10,525 --> 01:00:11,858 Our Miss Tik? 999 01:00:12,317 --> 01:00:13,317 Seriously? 1000 01:00:15,900 --> 01:00:17,233 What's so funny? 1001 01:00:18,150 --> 01:00:19,317 I'm just surprised. 1002 01:00:19,483 --> 01:00:20,650 By me falling in love? 1003 01:00:21,358 --> 01:00:22,525 Come on, Oby... 1004 01:00:22,692 --> 01:00:23,900 Don't Oby me. 1005 01:00:24,150 --> 01:00:25,150 No more Oby! 1006 01:00:26,817 --> 01:00:27,817 What's funny? 1007 01:00:27,900 --> 01:00:29,317 I've no right to love? 1008 01:00:29,817 --> 01:00:31,025 No rights at all! 1009 01:00:31,192 --> 01:00:32,983 Nonsense! It's all about you. 1010 01:00:33,150 --> 01:00:34,150 It is not! 1011 01:00:34,275 --> 01:00:35,275 It is! 1012 01:00:36,650 --> 01:00:38,108 No magic potion for Obelix. 1013 01:00:38,275 --> 01:00:39,442 No love for Obelix! 1014 01:00:39,608 --> 01:00:42,567 Poor Obelix! He can't have any magic potion. 1015 01:00:43,358 --> 01:00:44,358 Poor Obelix! 1016 01:00:44,442 --> 01:00:45,650 Now I'm not allowed 1017 01:00:45,817 --> 01:00:49,067 to roast my wild boar in my own hut! 1018 01:00:49,650 --> 01:00:52,442 Sorry, not my hut. Asterix's parents' hut! 1019 01:00:52,608 --> 01:00:53,317 Correct! 1020 01:00:53,483 --> 01:00:55,442 And he wants me to eat fruit and veg! 1021 01:00:55,608 --> 01:00:57,900 Why should we eat fruit and veg? 1022 01:00:58,067 --> 01:00:59,150 For your sake! 1023 01:00:59,483 --> 01:01:00,483 Your health! 1024 01:01:00,567 --> 01:01:02,567 Don't say the word! Don't say it! 1025 01:01:02,733 --> 01:01:03,983 Because you're fat! 1026 01:01:06,442 --> 01:01:08,650 I am curvaceous! 1027 01:01:09,483 --> 01:01:10,650 But at least I'm... 1028 01:01:11,108 --> 01:01:12,275 strong. 1029 01:01:12,442 --> 01:01:14,317 There we go. Thank you! 1030 01:01:14,483 --> 01:01:17,275 You think it's easy always being weaker? 1031 01:01:17,692 --> 01:01:19,025 Dependent on a flask! 1032 01:01:19,192 --> 01:01:20,442 Serves you right! 1033 01:01:20,858 --> 01:01:22,067 There, I said it! 1034 01:01:23,900 --> 01:01:26,442 Needles work well. Release tensions. 1035 01:01:28,150 --> 01:01:30,192 Speak freely. 1036 01:01:42,525 --> 01:01:44,025 - Romans! - No, Obelix. 1037 01:01:44,442 --> 01:01:45,442 What now? 1038 01:01:45,608 --> 01:01:47,775 We protect the princess's identity. 1039 01:01:48,900 --> 01:01:50,400 What brings Caesar to China? 1040 01:01:50,733 --> 01:01:53,525 The traitor Deng Tsin Quin has sold us out. 1041 01:01:55,942 --> 01:01:57,442 News flash! 1042 01:01:58,192 --> 01:01:59,400 People of China, 1043 01:01:59,733 --> 01:02:02,192 Prince Deng Tsin Quin and Julius Caesar 1044 01:02:02,358 --> 01:02:04,733 are delighted to announce the public execution 1045 01:02:04,900 --> 01:02:06,150 of the ex-Empress. 1046 01:02:07,233 --> 01:02:10,733 Beheading will take place in seven days at sunset. 1047 01:02:11,942 --> 01:02:15,817 Fries will be stirred. Book early to avoid disappointment. 1048 01:02:15,983 --> 01:02:16,983 Nobody told me. 1049 01:02:17,025 --> 01:02:18,733 By papyrus? You're not in the group? 1050 01:02:18,900 --> 01:02:20,650 I never am! 1051 01:02:20,817 --> 01:02:22,650 I am Princess Sa See! 1052 01:02:22,817 --> 01:02:24,983 Nobody harms the daughter of the heavens, 1053 01:02:25,150 --> 01:02:27,567 her majesty the Empress, my mother! 1054 01:02:27,733 --> 01:02:28,733 Arrest her! 1055 01:02:35,817 --> 01:02:36,817 Hey, doggie. 1056 01:02:37,525 --> 01:02:38,317 Bring it on. 1057 01:02:38,483 --> 01:02:41,692 Anyone who touches a single hair of my future wife 1058 01:02:41,858 --> 01:02:44,150 must prepare for a world of pain. 1059 01:02:45,858 --> 01:02:46,858 I said that? 1060 01:02:53,692 --> 01:02:55,858 Hold on, timeout. Pause it. 1061 01:02:56,025 --> 01:02:58,650 Just a second, I'll be right back. 1062 01:02:59,900 --> 01:03:01,108 You're kidding me. 1063 01:03:03,567 --> 01:03:04,692 You good? 1064 01:03:08,650 --> 01:03:09,650 We can start? 1065 01:03:10,067 --> 01:03:10,900 Toilet break. 1066 01:03:11,067 --> 01:03:11,817 Sure. 1067 01:03:11,983 --> 01:03:13,108 Not buying it. 1068 01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:44,400 Wring! 1069 01:04:07,775 --> 01:04:08,775 How about that. 1070 01:04:14,442 --> 01:04:17,108 The acupuncturist prescribed me two days' rest. 1071 01:04:17,275 --> 01:04:18,567 For what we get paid... 1072 01:04:20,358 --> 01:04:21,692 Act like we never met? 1073 01:04:21,858 --> 01:04:22,858 We never met. 1074 01:05:18,150 --> 01:05:20,358 Say, he just flew off my fist. 1075 01:05:20,525 --> 01:05:21,525 Yeah, I saw that. 1076 01:05:21,692 --> 01:05:23,567 Let's face it, no one beats you. 1077 01:05:24,483 --> 01:05:25,692 What's this? 1078 01:05:28,900 --> 01:05:29,942 Insane! So tight. 1079 01:05:30,108 --> 01:05:31,817 Come on, Princess, it's not safe. 1080 01:05:31,983 --> 01:05:34,067 "Come on, Princess, it's not safe." 1081 01:05:35,775 --> 01:05:36,858 A problem? 1082 01:05:37,025 --> 01:05:38,025 Maybe. 1083 01:05:38,942 --> 01:05:39,983 Potion's worn off? 1084 01:05:40,442 --> 01:05:42,108 Maybe. Try me, you'll see. 1085 01:05:43,442 --> 01:05:44,442 We'll talk later. 1086 01:05:45,233 --> 01:05:46,358 Ready when you are. 1087 01:06:05,358 --> 01:06:06,358 Halt! 1088 01:06:11,317 --> 01:06:13,067 THE ORIGINAL 2CV 1089 01:06:18,442 --> 01:06:20,067 SOAPS by CLEO 1090 01:06:22,733 --> 01:06:24,317 Who whistled? 1091 01:06:35,317 --> 01:06:36,400 I go off to war. 1092 01:06:37,358 --> 01:06:39,317 I risk my life and nothing from her. 1093 01:06:39,900 --> 01:06:41,442 No messages, no news. 1094 01:06:41,775 --> 01:06:43,358 No papyrus, no pigeons. 1095 01:06:43,733 --> 01:06:45,400 Time to snap out of it! 1096 01:06:45,650 --> 01:06:48,150 We were the intrepid, conquering hero. 1097 01:06:48,317 --> 01:06:49,775 We've gone a bit flat. 1098 01:06:49,942 --> 01:06:50,942 He's right. 1099 01:06:51,108 --> 01:06:52,317 You messaged her? 1100 01:06:52,483 --> 01:06:55,275 No, we said no messages. We play it cool. 1101 01:06:55,442 --> 01:06:58,233 We do nothing. Let her stew like beef. 1102 01:06:58,400 --> 01:07:00,358 Butt out, cupcake! 1103 01:07:00,817 --> 01:07:02,317 Come again, sentry? 1104 01:07:02,608 --> 01:07:05,608 Risklus! An aquarium, with water on the brain! 1105 01:07:05,775 --> 01:07:08,858 Two-bit Antivirus! You're not fit to shine his sandals. 1106 01:07:09,025 --> 01:07:10,608 Shut your trap! 1107 01:07:14,150 --> 01:07:15,942 Who wears the toga at home? 1108 01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:17,400 Who's the boss? 1109 01:07:17,942 --> 01:07:18,942 I am. 1110 01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:20,650 Anyone hear that? 1111 01:07:21,108 --> 01:07:22,608 Who's the boss? 1112 01:07:24,025 --> 01:07:25,442 - I am. - There you are! 1113 01:07:25,608 --> 01:07:27,358 You're back. Julius Caesar! 1114 01:07:27,525 --> 01:07:29,025 Our champion! Number one! 1115 01:07:30,525 --> 01:07:31,608 The only message is, 1116 01:07:31,775 --> 01:07:34,775 "Take your trunks and stuff, and go home to Egypt! 1117 01:07:34,942 --> 01:07:37,650 "Walking straight or sideways, whatever, just go!" 1118 01:07:41,567 --> 01:07:42,900 You're right. Scribe! 1119 01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:55,442 Better! 1120 01:07:55,858 --> 01:07:59,275 I want my palace in Rome empty of sarcophagi and bandages. 1121 01:08:00,317 --> 01:08:03,317 As of today, you know who wears the toga at home. 1122 01:08:04,775 --> 01:08:05,775 Ave, me! 1123 01:08:06,108 --> 01:08:09,775 There, that's big-time Caesar. Masterful! 1124 01:08:09,942 --> 01:08:11,567 The Queen of Egypt? 1125 01:08:11,733 --> 01:08:13,650 Queen of Nitwits more like! 1126 01:08:14,733 --> 01:08:16,400 They're not singing anymore... 1127 01:08:16,567 --> 01:08:19,192 They're not singing, the Egyptians! 1128 01:08:19,608 --> 01:08:21,233 - Send. - Yes! 1129 01:08:25,275 --> 01:08:26,483 Pigeon! 1130 01:08:29,858 --> 01:08:30,983 A bunny! 1131 01:08:32,067 --> 01:08:33,483 It's a bunny. 1132 01:08:33,650 --> 01:08:34,650 Scary! 1133 01:08:34,983 --> 01:08:36,233 A raccoon! 1134 01:08:40,317 --> 01:08:41,317 A goat! 1135 01:08:42,067 --> 01:08:43,233 A billy goat. 1136 01:08:49,317 --> 01:08:51,025 Come on, sweetie, let's go. 1137 01:09:00,192 --> 01:09:01,275 From Cleopatra. 1138 01:09:01,442 --> 01:09:02,442 Already? 1139 01:09:03,900 --> 01:09:04,900 Read it. 1140 01:09:16,858 --> 01:09:18,150 Don't understand a word. 1141 01:09:18,317 --> 01:09:19,317 I don't understand. 1142 01:09:21,275 --> 01:09:22,900 "I wanted to apologise. 1143 01:09:23,858 --> 01:09:25,025 "For my behaviour. 1144 01:09:25,192 --> 01:09:26,400 "I went too far." 1145 01:09:26,567 --> 01:09:27,567 For sure. 1146 01:09:28,733 --> 01:09:32,608 "Four months apart and I dream of us being reunited. 1147 01:09:33,233 --> 01:09:35,858 "Waiting for you in Rome. Come back soon. 1148 01:09:37,058 --> 01:09:38,350 "Your loving Cleo." 1149 01:09:40,058 --> 01:09:41,433 Stop the pigeon! 1150 01:09:41,933 --> 01:09:42,975 Cancel the pigeon! 1151 01:09:43,142 --> 01:09:44,767 - Fast! - We can't cancel it. 1152 01:09:44,933 --> 01:09:46,183 Sent is sent. 1153 01:09:46,558 --> 01:09:47,558 I beat him? 1154 01:09:47,642 --> 01:09:48,975 Everybody out! 1155 01:09:54,100 --> 01:09:55,267 I said everybody. 1156 01:11:13,225 --> 01:11:15,058 Hungry? There's lots of fruit. 1157 01:11:15,225 --> 01:11:16,267 - Hands off. - What? 1158 01:11:16,433 --> 01:11:17,725 They're offerings. 1159 01:11:18,392 --> 01:11:19,767 Sorry. I didn't... 1160 01:11:27,725 --> 01:11:28,725 Hold on. 1161 01:11:28,808 --> 01:11:30,725 Move along. Have a good evening. 1162 01:11:31,267 --> 01:11:32,308 Good luck. 1163 01:11:33,058 --> 01:11:34,183 Just a beggar. 1164 01:11:39,392 --> 01:11:40,392 Master Sill Lee. 1165 01:11:41,725 --> 01:11:42,725 Sorry. 1166 01:11:43,683 --> 01:11:46,350 Profuse apologies, Mr Sill Lee. I thought... 1167 01:11:46,767 --> 01:11:50,058 Master Sill Lee is a hermit who devotes his life to meditation. 1168 01:11:50,225 --> 01:11:51,933 He took a vow of absolute poverty. 1169 01:11:53,183 --> 01:11:55,683 Bravo for the oath. That blows my mind. 1170 01:11:55,850 --> 01:11:57,017 It's beyond me. 1171 01:11:57,183 --> 01:12:00,225 In that case, allow me to relieve you of the money. 1172 01:12:00,392 --> 01:12:02,850 Try to take back your coin, 1173 01:12:03,308 --> 01:12:04,725 little grasshopper. 1174 01:12:09,183 --> 01:12:10,892 It's too easy. You're blind. 1175 01:12:11,058 --> 01:12:14,308 Never assume a man cannot see because he's... 1176 01:12:16,308 --> 01:12:17,933 You saw that coming? 1177 01:12:19,683 --> 01:12:21,183 There we are! 1178 01:12:21,767 --> 01:12:22,975 It was his game. 1179 01:12:23,142 --> 01:12:24,142 Leave him. 1180 01:12:24,308 --> 01:12:25,350 Little grasshopper! 1181 01:12:25,808 --> 01:12:27,517 Sir, over here. 1182 01:12:28,725 --> 01:12:30,517 You are as swift as a cobra. 1183 01:12:30,683 --> 01:12:31,683 Yup, Sill Lee. 1184 01:12:31,767 --> 01:12:34,183 Can we move on to important matters? 1185 01:12:40,392 --> 01:12:41,600 By Toutatis! 1186 01:12:42,017 --> 01:12:45,808 Deng Tsin Quin spreads terror across the whole country. 1187 01:12:46,308 --> 01:12:47,975 Do not touch. 1188 01:12:48,933 --> 01:12:49,933 Hard to resist. 1189 01:12:50,350 --> 01:12:51,433 I see 1190 01:12:51,642 --> 01:12:53,558 an old abandoned temple. 1191 01:12:54,017 --> 01:12:55,600 The temple in Xuan. 1192 01:12:56,058 --> 01:12:59,642 Her majesty the Empress is held prisoner. 1193 01:13:01,475 --> 01:13:02,850 After releasing her, 1194 01:13:03,017 --> 01:13:05,933 you must go with all speed 1195 01:13:06,100 --> 01:13:07,683 to the Ku Koos' palace, 1196 01:13:07,850 --> 01:13:12,017 before Caesar seizes the final kingdom. 1197 01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:14,683 You will encounter 1198 01:13:15,308 --> 01:13:16,392 the hideous... 1199 01:13:16,850 --> 01:13:18,392 the unsightly... 1200 01:13:18,558 --> 01:13:22,517 the monstrous crown prince, 1201 01:13:22,683 --> 01:13:23,892 Prince of Ku Koo, 1202 01:13:24,058 --> 01:13:27,225 the man in the bamboo mask. 1203 01:13:29,267 --> 01:13:30,975 Don't worry, it's fake. 1204 01:13:31,433 --> 01:13:32,683 Good luck! 1205 01:13:33,475 --> 01:13:35,892 We must go our separate ways. 1206 01:13:36,475 --> 01:13:37,808 Grand master, 1207 01:13:38,308 --> 01:13:39,975 are you done with the ball? 1208 01:13:41,600 --> 01:13:42,600 Yes. 1209 01:13:46,850 --> 01:13:48,142 Holy cow! 1210 01:13:51,017 --> 01:13:52,892 There you are. You broke it. 1211 01:13:53,058 --> 01:13:54,642 He said do not touch. 1212 01:13:56,683 --> 01:13:57,725 He's right. 1213 01:13:58,642 --> 01:14:00,475 I said do not touch! 1214 01:14:06,517 --> 01:14:07,975 Why'd you touch it? 1215 01:14:13,558 --> 01:14:16,100 Seen Princess Sa See? With two warriors... 1216 01:14:20,267 --> 01:14:21,600 Princess Sa See? 1217 01:14:21,767 --> 01:14:25,017 Seen her? With two superhuman foreign warriors. 1218 01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:26,600 And a dog. 1219 01:14:41,892 --> 01:14:44,350 You're waiting for an ale? Bring them in! 1220 01:14:45,183 --> 01:14:46,808 - Asterix! - What? Run! 1221 01:14:47,308 --> 01:14:48,558 - Asterix! - What? 1222 01:14:48,725 --> 01:14:50,100 Why are we running? 1223 01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:52,267 - So I don't have to fight. - Why? 1224 01:14:52,433 --> 01:14:54,308 No more potion with the Princess. 1225 01:14:54,475 --> 01:14:56,392 I'm sick of looking stupid. 1226 01:14:56,892 --> 01:14:58,933 Hurry! I bagged a rickshaw. 1227 01:14:59,100 --> 01:15:00,183 Come on! 1228 01:15:01,975 --> 01:15:02,975 Fast! 1229 01:15:03,725 --> 01:15:04,767 Faster! 1230 01:15:09,308 --> 01:15:10,683 He does this on purpose. 1231 01:16:03,600 --> 01:16:04,683 All right. 1232 01:16:10,392 --> 01:16:13,142 One more ball and it's curtains for us. 1233 01:16:14,183 --> 01:16:15,392 So, our last night... 1234 01:16:16,308 --> 01:16:17,600 I was thinking... 1235 01:16:18,308 --> 01:16:20,308 maybe as a memento... 1236 01:16:20,475 --> 01:16:21,475 Majesty! 1237 01:16:23,017 --> 01:16:24,100 Gave me a fright! 1238 01:16:24,267 --> 01:16:25,683 We'll get you out. 1239 01:16:26,142 --> 01:16:27,142 Who's that? 1240 01:16:29,058 --> 01:16:30,308 Stand back. 1241 01:16:41,350 --> 01:16:42,350 All good? 1242 01:16:50,433 --> 01:16:51,433 Sorry. 1243 01:17:04,100 --> 01:17:05,100 Rise. 1244 01:17:06,683 --> 01:17:07,475 Let's go. 1245 01:17:07,642 --> 01:17:08,975 Jump. We'll catch you. 1246 01:17:09,142 --> 01:17:10,767 What? Jump? 1247 01:17:10,933 --> 01:17:12,433 I can't leave right now! 1248 01:17:12,725 --> 01:17:14,767 Abandon a negotiation? Not my style! 1249 01:17:15,392 --> 01:17:17,058 In two balls, the guard caves. 1250 01:17:17,225 --> 01:17:19,850 Go ahead without me. I'll catch you up. 1251 01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:21,600 Are you sure? 1252 01:17:22,267 --> 01:17:23,267 Yes. 1253 01:17:24,225 --> 01:17:25,267 As you wish. 1254 01:17:28,683 --> 01:17:29,683 Take care. 1255 01:17:30,642 --> 01:17:31,850 And keep your head. 1256 01:17:34,142 --> 01:17:35,558 You're afraid for me. 1257 01:17:36,850 --> 01:17:40,767 You see, you're even more beautiful smiling than in a temper. 1258 01:17:48,683 --> 01:17:50,308 She's so impressive! 1259 01:17:51,767 --> 01:17:52,850 Thank you. 1260 01:17:54,308 --> 01:17:55,308 Mother! 1261 01:17:56,183 --> 01:17:57,808 What joy to see you again. 1262 01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:08,642 Alert! 1263 01:18:08,808 --> 01:18:09,433 Run! 1264 01:18:09,600 --> 01:18:10,600 They've escaped! 1265 01:18:21,433 --> 01:18:22,892 Which way now? Which way? 1266 01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:25,600 Wait. 1267 01:18:26,517 --> 01:18:28,475 Good. We lost them. 1268 01:18:28,642 --> 01:18:30,850 Friends from Gaul. Thanks for your help. 1269 01:18:31,017 --> 01:18:32,808 Our pleasure, Your Majesty. 1270 01:18:33,683 --> 01:18:35,767 Seeing as no one introduces me... 1271 01:18:37,517 --> 01:18:38,725 Bankruptis. 1272 01:18:38,892 --> 01:18:41,350 We already met at the market. 1273 01:18:42,058 --> 01:18:43,100 That's right. 1274 01:18:43,892 --> 01:18:45,558 Life's full of surprises. 1275 01:18:47,975 --> 01:18:50,100 Attention issues for the Empress. 1276 01:18:50,933 --> 01:18:54,058 Take the Gauls to the Ku Koos. Secure their support. 1277 01:18:54,225 --> 01:18:57,558 Meanwhile I'll rally our army and followers. 1278 01:18:58,433 --> 01:18:59,600 Miss Tik, come with me. 1279 01:19:00,308 --> 01:19:01,975 I shall honour you, Mother. 1280 01:19:02,142 --> 01:19:03,183 You'll be proud of me. 1281 01:19:05,100 --> 01:19:06,767 I'm already proud of you. 1282 01:19:08,350 --> 01:19:09,600 Let's go, Miss Tik. 1283 01:19:27,142 --> 01:19:28,475 This will end badly. 1284 01:19:51,392 --> 01:19:53,350 Miss Tik has fallen for Obelix. 1285 01:19:55,392 --> 01:19:56,392 Obelix, too. 1286 01:19:59,017 --> 01:20:02,017 I don't like all the falling-for in this adventure. 1287 01:20:03,100 --> 01:20:04,142 So let's go. 1288 01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:07,142 Obelix, come on. 1289 01:20:15,558 --> 01:20:18,183 - What's the wine made from? - Rice. 1290 01:20:19,267 --> 01:20:21,433 Refinement is not your strong suit. 1291 01:20:26,100 --> 01:20:28,183 Got a kick but not all bad. 1292 01:20:29,058 --> 01:20:30,100 It's relaxing. 1293 01:20:30,267 --> 01:20:31,267 Rice wine. 1294 01:20:31,933 --> 01:20:35,225 Maybe take a few amphorae for fight nights with Wifey. 1295 01:20:37,642 --> 01:20:38,683 You see... 1296 01:20:38,850 --> 01:20:40,475 At times like this... 1297 01:20:43,850 --> 01:20:45,017 I miss her. 1298 01:20:45,725 --> 01:20:47,100 What's with the music? 1299 01:20:47,267 --> 01:20:48,100 A full band? 1300 01:20:48,267 --> 01:20:49,642 Four and a singer. 1301 01:20:50,100 --> 01:20:51,892 - You take them everywhere? - Yes. 1302 01:20:52,058 --> 01:20:53,142 It's practical. 1303 01:20:54,142 --> 01:20:56,267 I always have my favourite music. 1304 01:20:57,933 --> 01:20:58,933 Know it? 1305 01:20:59,058 --> 01:21:00,433 Sure, obviously. 1306 01:21:01,183 --> 01:21:03,433 Now that's what I call music. 1307 01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:06,767 None of your ching-chong nonsense. 1308 01:21:20,600 --> 01:21:21,600 Amore! 1309 01:21:22,642 --> 01:21:24,017 What are you doing? 1310 01:21:25,600 --> 01:21:27,933 - I saw my wife. - I'm nobody's wife. 1311 01:21:29,808 --> 01:21:30,642 Know what? 1312 01:21:30,808 --> 01:21:33,308 Your libation brought back the urge. 1313 01:21:35,975 --> 01:21:38,933 I shall become the next Emperor of China. 1314 01:21:39,475 --> 01:21:40,475 Wow... 1315 01:21:40,558 --> 01:21:43,183 Mama Cleo will never get over it. 1316 01:21:44,017 --> 01:21:46,767 Tomorrow at dawn, we go full Ku Koo. 1317 01:22:04,183 --> 01:22:06,475 Slow down. Our exit's coming up. 1318 01:22:06,642 --> 01:22:07,850 Yes, next one. 1319 01:22:09,892 --> 01:22:11,975 Once more, thanks to Obelix, 1320 01:22:12,142 --> 01:22:15,975 our friends beat Caesar's army to the palace of Prince Ku Koo, 1321 01:22:16,142 --> 01:22:17,975 the man in the bamboo mask. 1322 01:22:18,308 --> 01:22:19,392 Keep up. 1323 01:22:23,392 --> 01:22:24,558 I am To Fu. 1324 01:22:25,225 --> 01:22:28,308 Advisor to the prince regent, Ku Koo. 1325 01:22:28,808 --> 01:22:30,308 Can you prove 1326 01:22:31,017 --> 01:22:33,100 you really are Princess Sa See? 1327 01:22:34,308 --> 01:22:36,933 I give my word. I am the Empress's daughter. 1328 01:22:37,308 --> 01:22:40,642 Sadly, your word is not enough. 1329 01:22:41,933 --> 01:22:43,600 You could be a spy. 1330 01:22:44,225 --> 01:22:45,350 In the pay 1331 01:22:45,517 --> 01:22:46,933 of Deng Tsin Quin! 1332 01:22:49,517 --> 01:22:50,517 The coin! 1333 01:22:56,267 --> 01:22:59,725 Will you now bow before your Empress's daughter? 1334 01:23:01,767 --> 01:23:03,850 I apologise profusely, Princess Sa See. 1335 01:23:04,017 --> 01:23:05,642 We must be careful. 1336 01:23:06,433 --> 01:23:08,642 His Highness, the Prince... 1337 01:23:08,808 --> 01:23:09,808 of Ku Koo! 1338 01:23:22,183 --> 01:23:23,183 What the heck? 1339 01:23:24,017 --> 01:23:25,933 Don't turn your back. It's rude! 1340 01:23:26,100 --> 01:23:27,225 In his house. 1341 01:23:49,683 --> 01:23:50,683 Princess Sa See, 1342 01:23:50,808 --> 01:23:53,267 Prince of Ku Koo, with my men, at your service. 1343 01:23:53,433 --> 01:23:55,975 We support your mother, our Empress. 1344 01:23:57,725 --> 01:23:58,725 Thanks. 1345 01:23:59,350 --> 01:24:00,433 Sorry, I'm lost for... 1346 01:24:00,892 --> 01:24:03,308 All my fault. My cursed mane frightens you. 1347 01:24:04,100 --> 01:24:05,892 On the contrary, it suits you. 1348 01:24:07,558 --> 01:24:08,933 Nobody ever said that. 1349 01:24:09,100 --> 01:24:10,892 I never wanted to say it. 1350 01:24:26,350 --> 01:24:28,433 That's love at first look. 1351 01:24:28,600 --> 01:24:30,933 Whole weeks of work for nothing. 1352 01:24:34,308 --> 01:24:35,683 Back to the friend zone. 1353 01:24:37,058 --> 01:24:38,100 Let's go. 1354 01:24:39,558 --> 01:24:41,267 We have a country to save. 1355 01:24:55,100 --> 01:24:57,558 Gotta be cuckoo to build a palace in a hollow. 1356 01:24:57,725 --> 01:24:58,892 No way out. 1357 01:24:59,392 --> 01:25:01,642 Cornered by Caesar. It will be brief. 1358 01:25:05,350 --> 01:25:06,600 Here we go again. 1359 01:25:06,767 --> 01:25:07,933 Blah-blah time. 1360 01:25:19,767 --> 01:25:21,600 I am Princess Sa See. 1361 01:25:21,767 --> 01:25:24,017 Submit to the sole Empress of China. 1362 01:25:26,142 --> 01:25:27,183 Sa See darling, 1363 01:25:27,350 --> 01:25:28,850 we can marry at last. 1364 01:25:29,017 --> 01:25:32,350 Don't bet on it. You'll regret your acts, Deng Tsin Quin. 1365 01:25:33,267 --> 01:25:36,058 - She's no pushover. - Can't lie, sparks aren't flying. 1366 01:25:36,225 --> 01:25:38,558 I have a question for you. 1367 01:25:39,808 --> 01:25:40,808 How many? 1368 01:25:41,392 --> 01:25:42,558 Ten thousand. 1369 01:25:42,725 --> 01:25:46,183 Because we are 80,000-strong! 1370 01:25:52,433 --> 01:25:55,517 That's experience for you. Not boasting, I've never lost. 1371 01:25:55,683 --> 01:25:56,683 You're wonderful. 1372 01:25:56,808 --> 01:25:58,267 You miscounted, Princess. 1373 01:25:58,433 --> 01:25:59,933 Ten thousand plus two. 1374 01:26:00,100 --> 01:26:01,308 If you still need me. 1375 01:26:01,475 --> 01:26:02,558 Peek-a-boo, Julius! 1376 01:26:02,725 --> 01:26:03,850 It's us! 1377 01:26:04,017 --> 01:26:05,017 The crazies! 1378 01:26:05,142 --> 01:26:05,975 Not plus two. 1379 01:26:06,142 --> 01:26:07,225 Plus three! 1380 01:26:08,017 --> 01:26:09,475 The man in the bamboo mask. 1381 01:26:11,433 --> 01:26:12,267 Gross! 1382 01:26:12,433 --> 01:26:14,142 Poor guy's blond! 1383 01:26:14,308 --> 01:26:15,308 It's not too bad. 1384 01:26:15,392 --> 01:26:16,850 Not plus three. Plus four! 1385 01:26:17,600 --> 01:26:18,725 I'm the man 1386 01:26:19,517 --> 01:26:20,600 with feather feet! 1387 01:26:20,767 --> 01:26:21,892 What is this? 1388 01:26:28,433 --> 01:26:30,808 Why talk when you can run? 1389 01:26:43,267 --> 01:26:45,433 He didn't warm up. The chump! 1390 01:26:45,683 --> 01:26:47,225 - Did I say charge? - No. 1391 01:26:50,167 --> 01:26:51,208 Substitute! 1392 01:26:55,333 --> 01:26:56,792 Antivirus! 1393 01:27:33,667 --> 01:27:35,542 Asterix, I'll have a drop. 1394 01:27:36,125 --> 01:27:37,167 Not enough for 4. 1395 01:27:37,500 --> 01:27:38,500 "Not enough for 4!" 1396 01:27:42,208 --> 01:27:43,500 The cheats! 1397 01:27:43,667 --> 01:27:44,667 Won't help them. 1398 01:27:46,292 --> 01:27:47,875 Charge! 1399 01:28:05,375 --> 01:28:06,375 Yes? 1400 01:28:06,917 --> 01:28:07,917 Of course. 1401 01:28:57,625 --> 01:28:58,625 Help me. 1402 01:28:59,125 --> 01:29:00,125 Pipe down. 1403 01:29:00,292 --> 01:29:01,500 You've got gall. 1404 01:29:01,833 --> 01:29:02,583 Gall... 1405 01:29:02,750 --> 01:29:03,750 Gaul! 1406 01:29:16,500 --> 01:29:17,875 Can I join in? 1407 01:29:18,375 --> 01:29:19,375 Yeah, sure. 1408 01:29:19,625 --> 01:29:20,625 Archers! 1409 01:29:21,375 --> 01:29:22,375 Prepare! 1410 01:29:22,875 --> 01:29:23,875 Draw! 1411 01:29:24,417 --> 01:29:25,417 Loose! 1412 01:29:26,875 --> 01:29:29,083 Deng Tsin Quin, Emperor of China! 1413 01:29:32,042 --> 01:29:33,042 Arrows! 1414 01:29:47,833 --> 01:29:49,042 You can't be serious. 1415 01:29:49,458 --> 01:29:50,500 Don't judge me. 1416 01:29:53,167 --> 01:29:54,167 I feel it. 1417 01:29:55,333 --> 01:29:56,792 I feel it rising. 1418 01:29:59,958 --> 01:30:01,083 It's insane! 1419 01:30:02,542 --> 01:30:03,542 That's it? 1420 01:30:07,333 --> 01:30:08,667 No way! It's a joke. 1421 01:30:18,667 --> 01:30:19,792 I smell victory. 1422 01:30:21,542 --> 01:30:22,750 A particular scent? 1423 01:30:24,000 --> 01:30:26,083 Do readers care for such details? 1424 01:30:26,250 --> 01:30:27,500 It sets the scene. 1425 01:30:29,333 --> 01:30:30,958 The scent of laurels. 1426 01:30:31,375 --> 01:30:32,417 Excellent! 1427 01:30:56,167 --> 01:30:56,875 Thanks. 1428 01:30:57,042 --> 01:30:58,125 You're welcome. 1429 01:31:01,542 --> 01:31:03,375 We fell out but I can help out. 1430 01:31:04,042 --> 01:31:04,792 Sure. 1431 01:31:04,958 --> 01:31:06,458 I'm on your side. 1432 01:31:07,500 --> 01:31:08,500 Sure. 1433 01:31:09,875 --> 01:31:11,417 You'll always be my chum. 1434 01:31:14,583 --> 01:31:15,583 Sure. 1435 01:31:16,750 --> 01:31:18,042 Sorry, Obelix. 1436 01:31:42,917 --> 01:31:43,917 Stop! 1437 01:31:58,583 --> 01:31:59,833 Before I die... 1438 01:32:01,250 --> 01:32:02,958 I must tell you, Princess... 1439 01:32:29,083 --> 01:32:30,083 Look! 1440 01:32:31,625 --> 01:32:33,375 Just when all seems lost, 1441 01:32:33,917 --> 01:32:35,583 the Empress arrives, 1442 01:32:35,750 --> 01:32:38,458 followed by her army and entire people. 1443 01:32:38,792 --> 01:32:40,083 They are all there, 1444 01:32:40,250 --> 01:32:43,708 marching across the middle kingdom 1445 01:32:43,875 --> 01:32:45,917 to the scene of the final battle. 1446 01:33:03,292 --> 01:33:05,125 - What on earth is this? - Not sure. 1447 01:33:05,292 --> 01:33:07,708 Suddenly, I can't smell the laurels. 1448 01:33:08,250 --> 01:33:09,583 Pine boxes maybe. 1449 01:33:18,583 --> 01:33:20,083 I am Empress of China. 1450 01:33:20,250 --> 01:33:22,708 I order you to leave my empire forthwith. 1451 01:33:23,792 --> 01:33:24,917 Never! 1452 01:33:25,417 --> 01:33:27,500 She has a temper. Reminds me of someone. 1453 01:33:29,500 --> 01:33:30,625 Your Majesty! 1454 01:33:31,500 --> 01:33:33,750 Rather than ruin everything in anger, 1455 01:33:33,917 --> 01:33:36,500 perhaps we could envisage a sort of alliance. 1456 01:33:36,875 --> 01:33:39,375 When the cloud conceals the sun, 1457 01:33:39,542 --> 01:33:41,833 my army will reduce you to dust. 1458 01:33:42,708 --> 01:33:43,875 What's that? 1459 01:33:44,417 --> 01:33:45,417 A local proverb? 1460 01:33:45,500 --> 01:33:48,125 No, it's literal. It's happening. 1461 01:33:53,833 --> 01:33:55,042 How many of you? 1462 01:33:55,208 --> 01:33:56,333 He's at it again. 1463 01:33:57,000 --> 01:33:58,000 One 1464 01:33:58,458 --> 01:33:59,458 million! 1465 01:34:02,333 --> 01:34:03,417 Game changer. 1466 01:34:05,167 --> 01:34:07,292 I'll be going. I'm not from here. 1467 01:34:07,458 --> 01:34:09,625 I'll be in Rome. Keep me posted. 1468 01:34:10,417 --> 01:34:11,500 Don't desert us. 1469 01:34:11,667 --> 01:34:13,042 There's a million of them. 1470 01:34:13,833 --> 01:34:15,042 It's not my war. 1471 01:34:20,625 --> 01:34:21,917 I can't go like this. 1472 01:34:25,042 --> 01:34:26,042 Rear up! 1473 01:34:37,583 --> 01:34:38,625 Got your message! 1474 01:34:38,792 --> 01:34:41,667 Say goodbye to my little pyramid! Cleopatra 1475 01:34:43,167 --> 01:34:44,625 It's been a tough day. 1476 01:34:45,458 --> 01:34:46,458 A tough day. 1477 01:35:25,750 --> 01:35:27,167 That feels good. 1478 01:35:28,667 --> 01:35:30,667 Here we are, back in Gaul. 1479 01:35:31,167 --> 01:35:33,750 Not only for our friends' customary banquet. 1480 01:35:34,458 --> 01:35:38,333 But also to celebrate Gaul and China. 1481 01:35:41,625 --> 01:35:44,292 And now the Empress will speak. 1482 01:35:46,333 --> 01:35:47,375 Valiant Gauls! 1483 01:35:48,542 --> 01:35:50,500 You have my eternal gratitude. 1484 01:35:51,083 --> 01:35:53,208 It was an honour, Your Majesty. 1485 01:35:53,875 --> 01:35:55,542 I insisted we come to help. 1486 01:35:57,042 --> 01:35:58,792 We made this long journey 1487 01:35:58,958 --> 01:36:00,833 to celebrate a beautiful alliance. 1488 01:36:09,625 --> 01:36:11,083 That's my cousin Remix. 1489 01:36:11,708 --> 01:36:13,500 A specialist in world music. 1490 01:36:14,333 --> 01:36:15,458 He's my cousin. 1491 01:36:15,625 --> 01:36:17,792 Mine. Not yours, mine! 1492 01:37:04,500 --> 01:37:06,917 We have a lot in common, you and I. 1493 01:37:07,083 --> 01:37:08,125 We're chiefs. 1494 01:37:08,292 --> 01:37:10,750 I always think power isolates you from people. 1495 01:37:10,917 --> 01:37:12,417 Don't you agree? 1496 01:37:14,542 --> 01:37:16,333 And I'm not done. 1497 01:37:16,500 --> 01:37:18,667 And behind every great man 1498 01:37:18,833 --> 01:37:19,875 is a great woman. 1499 01:37:20,042 --> 01:37:22,958 Without Impedimenta, I'm nothing. At home, she holds the shield. 1500 01:37:23,125 --> 01:37:25,708 I'm not disturbing you? You're having a good day? 1501 01:37:27,167 --> 01:37:28,167 We'll talk at home. 1502 01:37:29,750 --> 01:37:30,750 Mimenta! 1503 01:37:31,292 --> 01:37:33,833 Excuse me, minor marital contretemps. 1504 01:37:37,500 --> 01:37:39,625 I thought he'd never leave. 1505 01:37:40,792 --> 01:37:43,917 You know, when you left the cell, I kept my head... 1506 01:37:45,500 --> 01:37:46,583 However... 1507 01:37:47,167 --> 01:37:48,333 I lost my heart. 1508 01:37:49,125 --> 01:37:50,250 Now, now. 1509 01:37:50,750 --> 01:37:53,333 Well then, where's my little heart? 1510 01:37:55,958 --> 01:37:57,000 Bankruptis, look. 1511 01:37:57,500 --> 01:37:59,333 Uncle didn't nod off in prison. 1512 01:38:00,292 --> 01:38:01,333 Classy! 1513 01:38:08,208 --> 01:38:09,208 One more plate. 1514 01:38:09,292 --> 01:38:11,250 No, a dish. A big dish! Share? 1515 01:38:12,292 --> 01:38:13,292 I won't crack. 1516 01:38:13,333 --> 01:38:14,333 Silly me. 1517 01:38:15,625 --> 01:38:17,083 Still don't miss it? 1518 01:38:17,542 --> 01:38:18,917 Not at all. 1519 01:38:19,167 --> 01:38:20,333 Honestly... 1520 01:38:20,667 --> 01:38:21,792 the smell is vile. 1521 01:38:23,125 --> 01:38:25,000 There are still triggers, though. 1522 01:38:26,000 --> 01:38:28,208 Drink an ale and it becomes tricky. 1523 01:38:29,750 --> 01:38:30,750 Hi, Obelix. 1524 01:38:31,417 --> 01:38:32,417 Panacea. 1525 01:38:33,292 --> 01:38:34,292 I'm interrupting? 1526 01:38:35,208 --> 01:38:36,500 I can see I am. 1527 01:38:37,167 --> 01:38:38,292 You ignore me now. 1528 01:38:39,792 --> 01:38:40,917 Are the rumours true? 1529 01:38:41,292 --> 01:38:42,375 You and Miss Tik? 1530 01:38:43,417 --> 01:38:44,417 Seriously? 1531 01:38:44,458 --> 01:38:46,458 Long-distance relationships don't work. 1532 01:38:46,625 --> 01:38:49,375 Honestly, her there, you here... And I'm here. 1533 01:38:50,000 --> 01:38:52,667 Waiting for you for months, worried sick, 1534 01:38:52,833 --> 01:38:54,250 and you fall in love? 1535 01:38:55,125 --> 01:38:56,250 Don't you love me? 1536 01:38:57,208 --> 01:38:58,542 Is that a yes or a no? 1537 01:38:58,875 --> 01:39:00,000 You wanted me. 1538 01:39:00,500 --> 01:39:01,625 Is it a yes or a no? 1539 01:39:02,000 --> 01:39:03,667 - I forget you? - Say yes! 1540 01:39:03,833 --> 01:39:04,917 Panacea... 1541 01:39:06,083 --> 01:39:07,083 Don't bother. 1542 01:39:07,417 --> 01:39:10,333 You know the village thrives on new adventures. 1543 01:39:11,625 --> 01:39:13,667 It's time for me to do the same. 1544 01:39:13,833 --> 01:39:14,833 Nothing personal. 1545 01:39:15,917 --> 01:39:16,917 Excuse me... 1546 01:39:17,750 --> 01:39:18,750 You're nuts. 1547 01:39:20,792 --> 01:39:21,792 But I'd... 1548 01:41:45,583 --> 01:41:46,750 Good, wasn't it? 1549 01:41:47,042 --> 01:41:48,792 Everyone had a great time. 1550 01:41:50,542 --> 01:41:51,750 Yes, a fine feast. 1551 01:41:54,658 --> 01:41:56,825 So Miss Tik has gone home? 1552 01:41:57,158 --> 01:41:58,783 Sure. It's a long ride. 1553 01:42:00,867 --> 01:42:02,408 She said I'm her true love. 1554 01:42:03,658 --> 01:42:04,658 Did she? 1555 01:42:05,367 --> 01:42:06,367 Wonderful. 1556 01:42:07,325 --> 01:42:08,408 Even so... 1557 01:42:08,992 --> 01:42:09,992 she didn't stay? 1558 01:42:10,075 --> 01:42:11,825 She'd have loved to but... 1559 01:42:12,283 --> 01:42:15,492 Too much work in China, lots of responsibility at the palace. 1560 01:42:16,408 --> 01:42:18,242 But there's time, we'll meet again. 1561 01:42:18,575 --> 01:42:19,575 As grown-ups. 1562 01:42:20,533 --> 01:42:21,533 As grown-ups? 1563 01:42:21,783 --> 01:42:22,783 Yes. 1564 01:42:25,242 --> 01:42:26,867 Tired. I'm going to bed. 1565 01:42:32,450 --> 01:42:33,700 One for the road? 1566 01:42:34,075 --> 01:42:35,617 I wouldn't say no. 1567 01:42:45,158 --> 01:42:46,158 My chum! 1568 01:42:55,283 --> 01:42:56,658 You're strangling me! 1569 01:43:01,992 --> 01:43:02,992 THE END 1570 01:43:03,158 --> 01:43:05,533 For René Goscinny & Albert Uderzo 1571 01:44:04,992 --> 01:44:06,783 You don't want me to sing? 1572 01:44:11,325 --> 01:44:12,742 I'm gonna sing anyway 1573 01:44:14,908 --> 01:44:16,617 You don't want me to sing? 1574 01:44:18,408 --> 01:44:20,117 You don't want me to sing 1575 01:44:20,492 --> 01:44:21,617 The surprise! 1576 01:44:21,783 --> 01:44:23,367 - What surprise? - Hold on. 1577 01:44:26,075 --> 01:44:28,867 So what is it? My voice or just me? 1578 01:44:29,033 --> 01:44:31,450 So is it me or my voice? 1579 01:44:32,617 --> 01:44:35,408 So is my voice not right? It's what you don't like? 1580 01:44:35,575 --> 01:44:37,200 Or is it just me? 1581 01:44:37,992 --> 01:44:40,658 Tell me what's wrong Always something wrong 1582 01:44:41,992 --> 01:44:43,658 Don't do this, don't do that 1583 01:44:43,825 --> 01:44:46,492 Is it my lyrics or my voice I don't get it 1584 01:44:46,658 --> 01:44:49,450 Don't call me paranoid You're all against me 1585 01:45:14,492 --> 01:45:15,825 Caesar said, 1586 01:45:16,242 --> 01:45:18,325 "I want it gleaming when I get back." 1587 01:45:19,075 --> 01:45:20,158 So buff! 1588 01:45:20,992 --> 01:45:22,200 Buff, buff, buff! 1589 01:45:24,658 --> 01:45:25,867 That's the spirit! 1590 01:45:29,158 --> 01:45:30,450 You keep Gaul. 1591 01:45:30,617 --> 01:45:32,575 I take China, rest of the world. 1592 01:45:32,742 --> 01:45:33,908 It'll go gangbusters. 1593 01:45:34,075 --> 01:45:36,242 Take it or leave it right now. 1594 01:45:36,742 --> 01:45:38,367 What might go gangbusters? 1595 01:45:38,533 --> 01:45:40,242 - I didn't say that. - Sure you did. 1596 01:45:40,408 --> 01:45:42,033 Top-notch merchants like me, 1597 01:45:42,200 --> 01:45:44,825 we read your lips even 5 km away. 1598 01:45:44,992 --> 01:45:46,783 - Why'd you say that? - I didn't! 1599 01:45:46,950 --> 01:45:48,908 - You did. - I'll lash out! 1600 01:45:51,242 --> 01:45:54,033 You know, duckie, your Julius is no lost cause. 1601 01:45:54,200 --> 01:45:56,533 So just send him a message, 1602 01:45:56,700 --> 01:45:59,658 "I'd go above and beyond, I'd dye my hair blond..." 1603 01:45:59,825 --> 01:46:02,367 It's in the bag. The rascal will be back. 1604 01:46:03,408 --> 01:46:06,283 You're right. Why did I ever flip my headdress? 1605 01:46:09,242 --> 01:46:12,033 Flat out. You got a pigeon charger? 1606 01:46:12,658 --> 01:46:14,658 Sit tight, I'll find you one. 1607 01:46:15,950 --> 01:46:17,742 With an Egyptian connector! 1608 01:46:18,367 --> 01:46:19,367 Why Egyptian? 1609 01:46:31,242 --> 01:46:33,492 Are you done making a ruckus? 1610 01:46:34,075 --> 01:46:35,742 We're trying to sleep! 1611 01:46:41,367 --> 01:46:42,367 Sorry. 1612 01:46:46,575 --> 01:46:48,033 Goodnight! 1613 01:46:48,200 --> 01:46:50,325 Goodnight, little Gauls! 106621