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1
00:00:09,599 --> 00:00:11,119
Come on. Artie.
2
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:20,640
Artie, I gotta...
3
00:00:20,719 --> 00:00:22,719
What the fuck, man ?!
What are you doin' ?
4
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,399
- I'm sorry.
- You're a weirdo.
5
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,399
What the fuck are you doin'
in my house ? Come on.
6
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:30,399
- I let myself in. I still have a key.
- You don't just let yourself in.
7
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,320
This is my fuckin' house ! Are you
tryin' to give me a heart attack ?
8
00:00:33,399 --> 00:00:35,560
I'm sorry, man. I don't...
I live here.
9
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,759
I don't have anywhere to go, Artie.
10
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,600
It was either this
or the Port Authority.
11
00:00:40,679 --> 00:00:43,039
But what are you doin' here ?
Why are you here ?
12
00:00:43,119 --> 00:00:45,159
I was fired, okay ? I was fired.
13
00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,000
You were fired already ?
That's amazing. You got an edge to ya.
14
00:00:48,079 --> 00:00:49,960
Want happened ?
How'd you get fired already ?
15
00:00:50,039 --> 00:00:51,439
- I was doing warm-up for Rachael Ray.
- Right.
16
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:52,640
- I go out.
- Yeah ?
17
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:56,359
- Regular crowd. I'm cookin'...
- You're cooking ?
18
00:00:56,439 --> 00:00:59,200
There's an older woman,
and I messed with her.
19
00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,320
- I did some blue material.
- Right.
20
00:01:01,399 --> 00:01:03,200
It was Rachael Ray's mom.
21
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,519
You messed with Rachael Ray's mom ?
That sounds hilarious.
22
00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:09,200
And they yelled at me and I'm fired.
23
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,359
And I don't have my job anymore,
and I'm back at your house.
24
00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:14,159
Yeah, I got the rundown.
25
00:01:14,239 --> 00:01:17,280
Maybe give a man a heads up
if the mother of the star of the show
26
00:01:17,359 --> 00:01:19,799
is gonna be in the audience.
It's on them.
27
00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:23,359
Listen, I got news for ya. I can't have
this shit in my house, okay ?
28
00:01:23,439 --> 00:01:25,159
- I told you that.
- I'm gonna finish it.
29
00:01:25,239 --> 00:01:27,719
You're not gonna finish it.
I'm takin' this the fuck outa here.
30
00:01:27,799 --> 00:01:29,640
Artie, you can't have this.
31
00:01:29,719 --> 00:01:31,400
It's Mike's Hard Lemonade.
You're an alcoholic.
32
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,719
Dude, I'm an alcoholic.
I'm not Hannah Montana.
33
00:01:33,799 --> 00:01:35,120
What the fuck ? I can handle it.
34
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,799
Artie, Hannah Montana
would drink Mike's Hard Lemonade,
35
00:01:37,879 --> 00:01:40,560
because we've let her slip
into Miley Cyrus.
36
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,040
She used to be Hannah Montana.
She used to be pure.
37
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,359
She used to be golden light,
and now she's out there lickin' poles,
38
00:01:47,439 --> 00:01:51,000
and children at the Teens Choice
Awards get a look right at her vagina.
39
00:01:51,079 --> 00:01:54,040
Listen. Let's get to breakfast.
We gotta sober you up.
40
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,319
CRASHING
Episode 8
41
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,439
I don't understand
why we're eating breakfast here.
42
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,760
Why can't we eat breakfast
in a strip club ?
43
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:02,120
That was... Oh, hi.
44
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,599
Hey, sweetie. How you doin' ?
Good to see ya.
45
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,599
Wait. Where's that smile I ordered ?
46
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,159
There's an ass right by your head.
47
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:12,639
Yeah, that's the point.
Well, look at it. Go ahead.
48
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,680
I don't see anything.
I'm just seeing you.
49
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,400
That is an odd choice, man.
Between me and a woman's ass ?
50
00:02:20,719 --> 00:02:22,400
This isn't helping breakfast.
51
00:02:22,479 --> 00:02:25,840
It's such a surprise that your wife
wanted the company of somebody else.
52
00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:27,520
Man, do you talk like this around her ?
53
00:02:27,599 --> 00:02:29,759
- I happen to be a very sexual person.
- Oh, yeah ?
54
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,560
I just don't flap it around
like a dick in the wind.
55
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,439
Is that your type ? That's not
your type ? What is your type ?
56
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,120
If I was in the privacy
of my own home with this,
57
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:41,800
I would have wonderful consensual sex
with this woman
58
00:02:41,879 --> 00:02:43,919
if we went out twelve
to fourteen times.
59
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,639
You can have consensual sex
with any of these women,
60
00:02:45,719 --> 00:02:48,400
as long as you give 'em
like four hundred dollars.
61
00:02:48,479 --> 00:02:51,479
What's really weird is I was supposed
to be at a baptism today.
62
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,120
Why would you want
to go to a baptism ?
63
00:02:53,199 --> 00:02:56,719
My roommate from college,
his wife went through the whole thing.
64
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,120
She's getting baptized today.
65
00:02:58,199 --> 00:03:00,120
Why you still talk to your college
roommate's wife ?
66
00:03:00,199 --> 00:03:02,159
I don't talk to my sister anymore.
67
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,159
- How you doin' ?
- Hi.
68
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,800
- Hi.
- Hi.
69
00:03:06,879 --> 00:03:08,280
Come here.
70
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,879
My buddy here is not that experienced.
Give him an education.
71
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,759
- Okay.
- You understand ? Whatever...
72
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,000
- Let's just leave it alone.
- Shut up. You're gonna love this.
73
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,400
- Fine. I'm doing this under protest.
- What's to protest ?
74
00:03:19,479 --> 00:03:21,080
Hi. I'm sorry, very sorry.
75
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,000
You're dancing with a hot chick
under protest.
76
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,520
- I don't know what to do with you, man.
- I don't know what to do.
77
00:03:25,599 --> 00:03:28,599
Clearly. Don't come back
until you have Hepatitis C.
78
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,240
- Okay.
- Go get 'em, buddy.
79
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,400
- Sit down.
- Sure. It's like Jambi's house.
80
00:03:40,479 --> 00:03:41,800
Hey, sit down.
81
00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:46,039
That's not as soft as I thought
it would be, but... Lovely.
82
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,080
- Open your legs.
- Okay.
83
00:03:48,759 --> 00:03:50,599
Now tell me what you like.
84
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:55,639
I like... free WiFi. Matt Damon.
85
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,800
I love breakfast for dinner.
It's great.
86
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:02,879
That's... It's a lot.
87
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,039
Just relax.
88
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:10,919
I didn't know there was a...
This is the lap part then ?
89
00:04:11,759 --> 00:04:13,800
You're a very good dancer.
90
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,120
- You like that ?
- Yeah.
91
00:04:15,199 --> 00:04:19,240
You like to dance ?
Just relax, okay ? Enjoy. Yeah ?
92
00:04:19,319 --> 00:04:20,959
- Okay.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.
93
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,600
There's so many signs
that say "No touching."
94
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,360
Oh, that's okay.
95
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:29,680
Your friend ordered off menu.
96
00:04:30,959 --> 00:04:34,120
- What's your name ?
- My name's Peter. Short for Pete.
97
00:04:34,199 --> 00:04:38,199
- Pete. Give it up, Pete.
- No, no, no.
98
00:04:39,759 --> 00:04:43,199
- It's just I'm a ticklish boy.
- It's fun. You having fun ? Yeah ?
99
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:48,600
- Pete.
- Pete. I'm sorry. Sorry. Hold on.
100
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,240
Sorry. This is degrading.
101
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,639
Degrading ?
Just...
102
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,720
- For who ?
- For you.
103
00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,680
- For me ?
- You're being degraded, right ?
104
00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:04,720
- Excuse me ?
- You're grinding on my... for cash.
105
00:05:05,399 --> 00:05:07,759
What the fuck do you do for a living ?
106
00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:10,160
I'm a stand-up. I do comedy.
107
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,959
- Oh, shit. A fuckin' comedian ?
- Yeah.
108
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,399
Oh, okay. So you stand up
on stage at a bar
109
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,720
and show your comedy titties
to strangers, and that's okay ?
110
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,079
It's my passion.
111
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,800
No one's a fuckin' bigger degenerate
than a comic !
112
00:05:23,879 --> 00:05:27,160
I used to date Jim Norton. He owes me
fuckin' four thousand dollars.
113
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:30,639
He can't even afford to get
his own parking spot in Manhattan.
114
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,439
- You got a parking spot ?
- No...
115
00:05:32,519 --> 00:05:36,000
I make fourteen hundred dollars a night.
How much do you make ?
116
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,879
What are you gonna do
when you're 60 ?
117
00:05:37,959 --> 00:05:40,480
Tell jokes at fuckin' Yuk Yuk's
in Calgary ?
118
00:05:40,959 --> 00:05:43,519
You think you're funny ? You think
you're funnier than Kat Williams ?
119
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,439
I don't do that kind of humor...
120
00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:48,480
Every motherfucker and their mother
has a one-hour special.
121
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,639
There's more demand because people
have an appreciation for the art form.
122
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:56,480
It don't mean dick.
Comedy died with Richard Pryor.
123
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,439
You know what ?
I'm done talkin' to your ass.
124
00:05:59,519 --> 00:06:03,079
We got three more songs, and I don't
want to hear nothin' else no more.
125
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,279
- Okay. I'm sorry.
- Three more songs.
126
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,839
Spank it, you Jim Gaffigan rip-off !
127
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,560
What ?
128
00:06:09,639 --> 00:06:12,560
I'm gonna give some balls
before you leave here.
129
00:06:13,519 --> 00:06:14,959
Okay. That didn't feel good.
130
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,399
Good day.
131
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,240
God.
132
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,639
Shit.
133
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,399
So, where to now ?
134
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,680
I feel worse. You liked that ?
135
00:06:28,759 --> 00:06:31,240
What are you talkin' about, "liked ?"
Of course. You don't like that ?
136
00:06:31,319 --> 00:06:33,000
Depressing. She yelled at me.
137
00:06:33,079 --> 00:06:35,160
Where the fuck are you from ?
I can't believe it.
138
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,240
You never knew there were legs
and eggs before.
139
00:06:37,319 --> 00:06:40,040
I'm a bad friend, Artie.
I should be with my friend today.
140
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,480
- I should be at the baptism.
- Fine ! I'll got the baptism with ya.
141
00:06:44,639 --> 00:06:46,279
You want to go to a baptism ?
142
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,120
I'm a comedian.
I work 45 minutes a night.
143
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:50,000
I got tons o' hours to kill
during the day.
144
00:06:50,079 --> 00:06:52,360
- Hey, Art.
- Hey, Jimmy Norton.
145
00:06:52,439 --> 00:06:53,720
- Good to see you, man.
- Good to see you, buddy.
146
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:54,920
Goin' for the breakfast ?
147
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,120
It's the best time to come.
Always come before noon.
148
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:58,920
The girls need you more
than you need them.
149
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,839
You really fuckin' drive down prices
before noon.
150
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,319
Good news.
We're on our way to a baptism.
151
00:07:02,399 --> 00:07:04,000
- Pray for me, will ya ?
- Of course.
152
00:07:04,079 --> 00:07:05,759
- Nice meeting you.
- Nice to meet you.
153
00:07:23,959 --> 00:07:25,920
Is there air conditioning
under that tent ?
154
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,160
No, it's outside. It's like a wedding.
155
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,759
Pay attention. You might get
somethin' out of it, you know ?
156
00:07:30,839 --> 00:07:32,360
I gotta pay attention ?
157
00:07:32,439 --> 00:07:35,600
I'm beginning to feel like
I'm on the opposing team's court.
158
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,720
Thank you, Lord, for this food.
159
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:46,519
Dude, I'm freakin' out. When do they
bring out the Nikes and Kool-Aid ?
160
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,079
After the service or before ?
161
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,040
These are good people.
They're loving people.
162
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,720
They'll be very nice to you.
Just try to blend in.
163
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:54,759
Pete ?
164
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:58,199
- Hey, Skowie. What's up, man ?
- I'm so glad you could make it.
165
00:07:58,279 --> 00:07:59,519
- Nice to see you.
- You, too.
166
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,759
- Ellen, hi.
- Hey, hi. So good to see you.
167
00:08:02,839 --> 00:08:04,839
Hey, how you doin' ? Artie Lange.
How you doin', alright ?
168
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,199
Yeah. Take care of yourself.
Take care.
169
00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:09,240
- "Elf" ?
- It's my friend, Artie.
170
00:08:09,319 --> 00:08:12,439
- He's in "Elf". We love that movie.
- Yeah. It's a great film.
171
00:08:12,519 --> 00:08:15,600
We rent a movie every Friday.
We call it "Movie Night."
172
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,480
- And who's this ?
- Can you say, "Hi," Penny ?
173
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,160
Hi. Hi, Petey. I'm Penny.
174
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,160
- Can I hold her ?
- Yeah, of course. Watch the head.
175
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:26,000
- Oh my goodness.
- I know.
176
00:08:27,759 --> 00:08:30,920
It's time to be a baby,
holding baby...
177
00:08:31,839 --> 00:08:33,960
Just pull her dress down, Peter,
in the back.
178
00:08:34,039 --> 00:08:37,679
This is amazing. I'm so happy for you.
Getting baptized, this is huge.
179
00:08:37,759 --> 00:08:39,120
It's been an eventful year.
180
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,240
I just think this is a really good time
to hit reset
181
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,759
and just rededicate myself to the Lord.
182
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,519
- Okay.
- Alright, just...
183
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,399
You always want the back...
The back of the head. Okay, okay.
184
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:50,960
- Alright, Peter.
- Okay, look at that.
185
00:08:51,039 --> 00:08:53,200
- Okay, we'll take her back.
- Okay. Thanks.
186
00:08:53,279 --> 00:08:55,600
- There we go.
- My God.
187
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,879
- There he is.
- Speaking of... Good to see you.
188
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,200
- Nice to see you.
- Hi, Pastor.
189
00:09:00,279 --> 00:09:03,120
- Steven, Ellen, big day today.
- I'm so excited.
190
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,200
I hope it's not a new dress.
191
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,679
- Now, that is comic.
- He's so funny.
192
00:09:07,759 --> 00:09:10,159
- Pete, we should catch up.
- I would love to. You wanna...
193
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,080
- Yeah, let's walk over to our office.
- Yeah, sure. Great, great.
194
00:09:13,159 --> 00:09:15,600
- Bye, Peter. Bye, Pastor.
- Bye, Penny.
195
00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:17,320
- See you.
- Thanks again for coming.
196
00:09:18,879 --> 00:09:23,000
- So what's up ? How are you ?
- I'm fine. I'm good.
197
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:24,480
You sure ?
198
00:09:25,879 --> 00:09:27,720
Yeah, I'm good. Why ?
199
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,600
Just, you know, you hear things.
200
00:09:31,039 --> 00:09:33,240
I don't know
what people have been saying, but...
201
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,639
That's fine.
We don't have to talk about it.
202
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,639
I just wanted to bring you in
and offer ya some support,
203
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:42,159
and I'd love to lift you up in prayer
if that's okay.
204
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,759
Yeah, of course.
That would be great.
205
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,240
Great. So...
206
00:09:49,039 --> 00:09:53,120
Heavenly Father, we want
to thank you for this glorious day
207
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,360
and this opportunity to sit down
with our brother, Peter,
208
00:09:56,440 --> 00:10:00,440
and help him through this trying
and wicked, debaucherous time.
209
00:10:00,519 --> 00:10:03,799
You are with us, especially
when we need you the most.
210
00:10:03,879 --> 00:10:04,919
Yes, Lord.
211
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:09,120
And as Pete has lowered himself
to begging on the streets of Manhattan,
212
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,720
pleading with strangers for money,
for food...
213
00:10:12,799 --> 00:10:14,519
- Sorry.
- Lord, we ask... Yes ?
214
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,919
I'm not begging on the streets.
That's not...
215
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,519
Julie Chaney said she saw you
panhandling in the West Village.
216
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,320
You were wearing ragged clothes...
It was very sad.
217
00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:27,399
No, no, I'm doing stand-up.
I'm handing out fliers.
218
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,759
- Okay.
- So I'm not...
219
00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:34,799
Dear God, we ask
that you forgive Peter for sins,
220
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:39,480
for laws he may have broken,
especially laws involving arson.
221
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:43,399
- Also, laws that don't involve arson.
- Okay, no...
222
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:47,679
I'm so sorry.
Again, I haven't broken any laws.
223
00:10:47,759 --> 00:10:50,480
Okay, Adam Johnson,
he reads the police blotter,
224
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:52,919
and he told me that
there was a fire at your house
225
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,200
and you fled the scene.
You burnt down a garage.
226
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:58,799
I didn't... Okay, no.
That's another misunderstanding.
227
00:10:58,879 --> 00:11:02,000
There... I had a garage sale,
Jess and I,
228
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,159
and there was a fire,
but I didn't flee the scene.
229
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:08,559
I left with some things...
and the fire was extinguished.
230
00:11:08,639 --> 00:11:11,879
- Are you doing drugs ?
- Am I ? No, I'm not doing drugs.
231
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:16,279
Okay, Stacey Chase said she saw you
tweet about having the munchies.
232
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,000
Hashtag-FlamingHotCheetos.
233
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,960
I smoked some pot, yeah.
I want to get back out, so...
234
00:11:21,039 --> 00:11:23,480
- Okay, let's just finish this up then.
- Yeah.
235
00:11:24,039 --> 00:11:28,919
- Lord, Pete's marriage's fallen apart.
- Yes, Father.
236
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,200
And we know it's because Jess
had an affair.
237
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,480
I'm sorry. I thought
you were gonna stop me again.
238
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,200
That one's correct, yes.
239
00:11:39,279 --> 00:11:43,559
Lord, forgive Peter for forcing his wife
into the arms of another man.
240
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,679
Is it true that you walked in on her
with two men ?
241
00:11:48,279 --> 00:11:49,279
No.
242
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,720
Kevin Sparks has a porn addiction
that he's dealing with,
243
00:11:51,799 --> 00:11:55,000
and he said he saw a video of you two
on a cuckolding website.
244
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:56,480
- That wasn't us.
- It wasn't you ?
245
00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:59,000
Can you wrap it up ? Amen.
246
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,840
I have to say it. Amen.
You know, Jess is here today.
247
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,399
- She is ?
- Yeah, she's here.
248
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,360
- How you doin' ?
- Hey.
249
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,279
- Have a good time ?
- Yeah, how about you ?
250
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,799
Are you kidding ? Look at me.
I'm Christian mingling.
251
00:12:27,879 --> 00:12:29,679
- I'm Artie, by the way.
- Stephanie, hi.
252
00:12:29,759 --> 00:12:31,039
Nice to meet you.
253
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:37,120
- You with anybody or hangin' out ?
- I'm just hangin' out.
254
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:44,080
Hey, how does this work ?
I thought they only baptized babies.
255
00:12:44,519 --> 00:12:46,679
Well, I mean, some churches do.
256
00:12:46,759 --> 00:12:49,000
We prefer when people can make
their own big decisions.
257
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,720
So we do it with adults.
258
00:12:50,799 --> 00:12:53,320
Kinda like John the Baptist with Jesus.
259
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,840
Oh, right. Okay.
Good guy, John the Baptist.
260
00:12:56,919 --> 00:13:00,320
Not a lot of career options
with that name... John the Baptist.
261
00:13:00,759 --> 00:13:04,399
- It's like my cousin, Joe the Foot.
- He's a foot ?
262
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,960
He got one foot.
263
00:13:07,519 --> 00:13:09,159
Think I'll sit down. See ya.
264
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,279
So I'll see you later then for sure,
right ? Alright.
265
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,039
This is free, I hope. Right ?
266
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,480
- Hey. Hi.
- Oh my God, Pete.
267
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,679
- Sorry, I wasn't expecting to see you.
- Well...
268
00:13:24,759 --> 00:13:28,200
- I thought you weren't going to church.
- Well, no, I'm here to suppose Ellen.
269
00:13:28,639 --> 00:13:29,720
- Ellen ?
- Yeah.
270
00:13:29,799 --> 00:13:33,840
- I thought you hated Ellen.
- I kinda do, but she invited me, so...
271
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,120
I'm here or Steve.
272
00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:42,519
- Where's Leif ?
- Oh, he's not here. He's... It's...
273
00:13:43,399 --> 00:13:46,440
- What ?
- It's over.
274
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:49,440
Oh my God.
275
00:13:49,519 --> 00:13:52,200
Yeah. I thought it was
this whole other thing,
276
00:13:52,279 --> 00:13:54,519
and then he said he was leaving
his wife,
277
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,200
but he was still with her, so...
278
00:13:57,279 --> 00:14:01,080
- Are they still together ?
- One assumes.
279
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,240
I'm so sorry.
280
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,559
Then she called and threatened me,
so now she has my number,
281
00:14:05,639 --> 00:14:07,519
which has been really fun.
282
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:15,519
I've spent a lot of the past week
fantasizing about you guys breaking up,
283
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,799
but now I just feel terrible for you.
284
00:14:19,399 --> 00:14:21,600
Yeah, it's weird. I was so worried
about you this whole time,
285
00:14:21,679 --> 00:14:24,480
and it seems like you're doing
better than all of us.
286
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:31,480
I don't know. It's not exactly
what I thought out there, you know ?
287
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,039
- Really ?
- I don't...
288
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:37,000
Hello, everyone ! Good afternoon.
Before we begin today's journey,
289
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,240
I want to invite all of you
to a game of tag.
290
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:41,320
He still does this ?
291
00:14:41,399 --> 00:14:44,480
And, no, I don't mean we're gonna
run around and chase each other.
292
00:14:45,159 --> 00:14:46,279
Laughs every time.
293
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,840
No, I mean some T-A-G.
Time alone with God.
294
00:14:49,919 --> 00:14:52,360
Let's take advantage
of these beautiful grounds.
295
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,279
I want everyone to take a walk
and clear your minds.
296
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,120
Open your hearts
to what's about to happen.
297
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,120
So I'll see you all in a few minutes.
298
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,879
Please return at the sound
of the triangle.
299
00:15:06,919 --> 00:15:08,240
- Jess.
- Pete, listen.
300
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,000
Could we do this whole
walk in the woods thing together ?
301
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,120
I don't want to be alone with God,
you know ?
302
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,879
It gets in my head,
and then I go to a bad place, right ?
303
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,200
Hold on, Artie.
304
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,240
Yeah, I need to smoke.
I need a smoke.
305
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,679
Jess. Hey.
306
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,480
Do you mind if I walk with ya ?
307
00:15:30,559 --> 00:15:33,960
Time alone with God, right ?
Feels familiar.
308
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:39,080
Yeah, I feel like a tourist. Like this
used to be our life, you know.
309
00:15:40,759 --> 00:15:43,240
I'm sorry, I feel like
I need to do this alone.
310
00:15:44,159 --> 00:15:47,000
- I'm sorry.
- I just... I have a lot to think about.
311
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,039
Being back here
and seeing all these people
312
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:53,879
just reminds me of what I used to have
and what I want.
313
00:15:54,919 --> 00:15:57,879
I don't know. Excuse me.
314
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,279
- Hey. How you doin' ?
- Hey.
315
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:14,000
Hey, you mind if I bum one of those ?
Yeah, thanks.
316
00:16:14,519 --> 00:16:18,399
Not a big woods guy, so, thank you.
These things are valuable here.
317
00:16:22,879 --> 00:16:24,559
Thank you.
318
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,679
Oh, that feels good.
319
00:16:27,759 --> 00:16:31,519
A cigarette after lunch is like one
of the 40 best cigarettes of the day.
320
00:16:34,759 --> 00:16:37,000
- Can I ask you somethin' ?
- Sure.
321
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:42,720
Come on. Time alone with God ?
Come on, come on.
322
00:16:42,799 --> 00:16:44,840
- That's your question ?
- I don't know.
323
00:16:44,919 --> 00:16:48,320
Starin' into leaves and shit,
all this spirituality, and, I mean...
324
00:16:48,399 --> 00:16:50,120
You want to know
how I'm buyin' into all this ?
325
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,320
You seem like a reasonable person.
You seem rational, right ?
326
00:16:53,399 --> 00:16:55,799
Yeah, I want to know if it's real
or if it's bullshit,
327
00:16:55,879 --> 00:16:58,240
because if it's real,
I gotta talk to ya.
328
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,080
I don't know, I need more details.
I just do.
329
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:08,599
Early in the morning,
330
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:16,880
My soul will rise to thee
331
00:17:19,559 --> 00:17:24,880
Only thou art holy
332
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:31,400
Lord God almighty !
333
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:38,519
God in three persons
334
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:43,119
Blessed tree...
335
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,440
- Leave me alone !
- Hey !
336
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,480
Just get out of here !
Get away from me !
337
00:17:48,559 --> 00:17:50,440
- Hey !
- Stop it. You're scaring me !
338
00:17:50,519 --> 00:17:51,759
Jess !
339
00:17:51,839 --> 00:17:52,880
Oh God !
340
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,279
What ?! Leif !
What are you doing here ?
341
00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,960
- I can't believe you followed me here.
- You're not answering my calls, Jess.
342
00:17:59,039 --> 00:18:01,160
Of course I'm not answering your calls !
I don't want to talk to you.
343
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,319
I had to follow you to talk to you.
What is he doing here ?
344
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,960
This is our church ! We're members !
We belong here.
345
00:18:07,039 --> 00:18:10,240
Okay, fine. I understand that.
Peter, Jess.
346
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,920
I have to say I'm so, so sorry.
I made a huge mistake.
347
00:18:15,319 --> 00:18:17,920
I came here to tell you
that I talked to my wife.
348
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,359
You said it was done before.
349
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,519
I'm so sorry it took so long,
but she is a scary human being.
350
00:18:22,599 --> 00:18:24,920
She would grab me and be physical
with me and toss me around,
351
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,079
and I had to take it.
352
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,920
I don't know what abuse is,
but I'm pretty sure she abused me.
353
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,880
I met his wife.
She wasn't that scary.
354
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:34,799
- You're a fucking hippie douche bag !
- What were the last seven months ?
355
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,319
- This started seven months ago ?!
- It wasn't serious for that long.
356
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,240
Oh, just casual adultery ?!
357
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,519
You're in the program, right ?
358
00:18:43,599 --> 00:18:44,960
What makes you think
I'm in the program ?
359
00:18:45,039 --> 00:18:48,839
Well, I'm looking at your face.
You look like you snorted the Big Book.
360
00:18:49,759 --> 00:18:52,559
Thank you, sweetie.
I run into Don Rickles in the woods.
361
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,799
- Are you in a program ?
- Yeah.
362
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:58,519
It's not helpin' me, obviously.
And, clearly, something's helped you.
363
00:18:58,599 --> 00:19:01,880
I'm looking for somethin',
but I can't buy into this.
364
00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:05,079
Come on.
You know about the higher power.
365
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,559
That's the one part
I could never buy into.
366
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:07,720
Why not ?
367
00:19:07,799 --> 00:19:10,359
Because what is that ? So vague.
Higher power ? What does that mean ?
368
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,240
- It's the easiest part.
- So what is it ? Be specific.
369
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:16,079
It's about letting go and not holding
on to something. It's just letting go.
370
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,400
- Letting go of what ?
- I don't know. Like, look around.
371
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,480
Who made all this ?
You think it just happened ?
372
00:19:22,559 --> 00:19:25,319
That's the best argument, I guess.
I don't know, but to me,
373
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,759
this is like we could be on the set
of Jurassic Park.
374
00:19:27,839 --> 00:19:31,279
- And that would be cool ?
- Yeah, but it wouldn't be God.
375
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,000
It would be, you know,
Teamsters and a couple of guys
376
00:19:34,079 --> 00:19:36,359
in the Carpenters Union
who Spielberg knows.
377
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,720
My point is there's an explanation
for everything.
378
00:19:38,799 --> 00:19:41,720
- This could be manmade.
- It's not.
379
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,799
Convince me.
380
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,720
I need a real relationship.
You're off in another planet.
381
00:19:47,799 --> 00:19:49,240
Explain our love.
382
00:19:49,319 --> 00:19:51,279
I was in a trance,
and now I'm out of it.
383
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:53,839
We just had good sex together,
and that was confusing to me,
384
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:55,319
'cause I've never had an orgasm before,
385
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,880
and that's what was really messing
with my mind.
386
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:57,960
But it was just an orgasm.
387
00:19:58,039 --> 00:20:01,000
Our eleven hour sessions
are one of the deepest,
388
00:20:01,079 --> 00:20:03,839
most ritualistic experiences of love
I've ever had,
389
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,359
and I need that with you forever.
390
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,480
My friends think
I'm like a wicked fucking idiot
391
00:20:07,799 --> 00:20:09,920
who had sex with the hand turkey guy !
392
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,359
You're not even a real artist, okay ?
I'm an idiot for fucking you !
393
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:14,440
Thank you.
394
00:20:14,519 --> 00:20:19,279
That all hurts, and I thank you
for having the courage to give it to me,
395
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:22,559
but whatever person you need me
to become, I will become that.
396
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,880
I don't want you to become that.
I want you to be that !
397
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,440
- I will be that after I become it !
- It's over, okay ?
398
00:20:29,279 --> 00:20:32,480
Jess, we can't end
an argument negatively.
399
00:20:34,279 --> 00:20:36,519
What does she...
Is she always like that ?
400
00:20:36,599 --> 00:20:39,440
- What do you want me to say ?
- Give me the courage.
401
00:20:41,559 --> 00:20:44,440
It's like quantum physics, right ?
String theory.
402
00:20:44,519 --> 00:20:49,440
You ever notice how the further down
you get into the sub-atomic particles,
403
00:20:50,039 --> 00:20:52,759
the more mystery there is,
the less we understand.
404
00:20:52,839 --> 00:20:57,000
I don't get it on the most, you know,
just basic and most surface of levels.
405
00:20:57,319 --> 00:20:59,480
What I'm saying
is that it's all the same thing.
406
00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:02,839
Like science and religion
and all of that, it's all the same.
407
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:06,680
It's just us trying to understand it.
Science is trying to photograph it,
408
00:21:06,759 --> 00:21:08,480
and people go to church
to try to feel it.
409
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:11,599
Honestly, I'm trying to pretend that
I understand what you're talking about,
410
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,160
but in- in high school, I thought
the blue part of the globe was the sky.
411
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,440
So I'm not deep. I don't understand
what the hell you're talking about.
412
00:21:18,519 --> 00:21:21,920
I know that's hard to not have
anything to believe in,
413
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,119
but it's easier to if you try.
414
00:21:25,759 --> 00:21:28,920
I guess, but, look,
I've done a lot of bad things.
415
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,880
I've probably done a lot worse than you.
416
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,480
Oh, come on. Now, you know,
I'm callin' bullshit. What did you do ?
417
00:21:34,799 --> 00:21:37,160
That's not a first-time-we-meet
conversation.
418
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,680
Maybe it's a second-time-we-meet
conversation.
419
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:45,279
- I'll try it. I'll give it a shot.
- Alright.
420
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:47,759
- You believe me ?
- Yeah, I believe you.
421
00:21:47,839 --> 00:21:51,480
- That's where girls go wrong.
- Come on.
422
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,359
Christ of my own heart,
423
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:06,720
Whatever befall
424
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,480
Still be my vision,
425
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:15,000
Oh, ruler of all...
426
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:20,839
Wasn't that lovely ?
427
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,960
You'll notice there are no babies
being baptized today.
428
00:22:24,039 --> 00:22:26,559
That's not just for water safety.
429
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:30,200
It's because we practice
a believer's baptism,
430
00:22:30,279 --> 00:22:34,720
and unlike, say, the Catholics, who
are sprinkling babies all willy-nilly,
431
00:22:35,319 --> 00:22:37,000
we have a three-week course.
432
00:22:37,079 --> 00:22:38,839
So, Glen.
433
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,480
- You need to leave Jess alone.
- Don't interfere in our destiny, Peter.
434
00:22:52,559 --> 00:22:55,839
Do you pledge your life
to the service and love of Christ ?
435
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,599
I do.
436
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,519
- Welcome home, brother.
- Oh, yeah !
437
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,480
Praise Jesus !
438
00:23:09,839 --> 00:23:12,640
We all need forgiveness.
We all need redemption.
439
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,440
We all need to come home.
Right ? That's what this is about.
440
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,599
All of us stray
from the path sometimes.
441
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,200
Your wife tried to Shania Twain me,
by the way.
442
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,640
- What does that mean ?
- Means she tried to fuck me.
443
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:31,200
Just like the church, we represent
God welcoming you home.
444
00:23:32,319 --> 00:23:34,359
Sure, you've made some mistakes.
445
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,160
You've done some things
you're not proud of.
446
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:39,160
You've made some choices
that you regret.
447
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,480
Church is still here. God forgives you.
448
00:23:42,559 --> 00:23:45,720
All you have to do is ask.
Isn't that good news ?
449
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,160
- Ellen.
- Let's do this.
450
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,440
- You ready to come home ?
- Wait !
451
00:23:51,519 --> 00:23:54,200
- Wait what ?
- Jess. Jess !
452
00:23:54,279 --> 00:23:56,519
- I need this.
- Unacceptable. I'm next. I'm second.
453
00:23:56,599 --> 00:23:58,559
- Jessica, this is not okay.
- I need this, Pastor.
454
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,440
- Jessica, come on.
- Now, please, please. Let me do this.
455
00:24:00,519 --> 00:24:03,680
- Jessica, what are you doing ?
- Please, let me come home. Please.
456
00:24:03,759 --> 00:24:06,240
This is a ceremony.
These people took a three-week course.
457
00:24:06,319 --> 00:24:07,799
Monday and Tuesday ! Nine to four !
458
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,680
But you know I know all the basics.
Just let me do it.
459
00:24:09,759 --> 00:24:10,759
You've already been baptized...
460
00:24:10,839 --> 00:24:12,720
I know, but I've strayed too far.
I need to come home.
461
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:14,240
Okay, Jessica. I don't think
462
00:24:14,319 --> 00:24:17,079
that you are in the right place
for this personally.
463
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:18,839
- Get her outa there !
- Shut up, Ellen !
464
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,839
- You shut up !
- Just dunk me and let me be risen !
465
00:24:22,839 --> 00:24:25,119
Jessica, we are all aware
in this congregation
466
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,559
that you've been unfaithful to Pete.
467
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,079
You cheated on him with an art teacher.
468
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,000
- Jess !
- Hey, don't stand up.
469
00:24:32,079 --> 00:24:33,799
Sweetheart ! That's bullshit !
470
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,079
Baby ! You don't need God,
you just need me.
471
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,240
- Okay, sir.
- What are you doing ?!
472
00:24:38,319 --> 00:24:40,680
This is very inappropriate.
You need to get out of the pool.
473
00:24:40,759 --> 00:24:43,519
I can't. Sweetheart,
I love you so much.
474
00:24:43,599 --> 00:24:45,720
I'm so sorry, so sorry.
475
00:24:45,799 --> 00:24:49,599
I get this, though. This is a cool
ceremony. Congratulations.
476
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:54,319
Jess, I love you. I need you.
And I want us to just go home.
477
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,200
That's what I want. I want to go home.
478
00:24:56,279 --> 00:24:59,680
You don't need God.
You're God and I'm God.
479
00:24:59,759 --> 00:25:03,119
God is love, and together we make God.
Let's go home and make some God.
480
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,440
We can do it. Ask God.
481
00:25:04,519 --> 00:25:07,359
Okay, none of that is true,
and most of it didn't make any sense.
482
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,039
- How do you know, Officer ?
- Officer ? I'm a pastor.
483
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:11,880
- So am I.
- Really ? Of what ?
484
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,519
Pastor of life.
485
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:18,160
I love you so much, Jess, and I want
to be with you for the rest of my life.
486
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,839
I've known that since we met.
487
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,799
- I've made too many mistakes.
- That's okay.
488
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:23,680
I've strayed off my path.
489
00:25:24,279 --> 00:25:27,480
Jess ! No ! Wait ! Jess, hold on.
490
00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:30,119
I've made mistakes, too.
Hold on.
491
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,839
- Sorry, will you hold this, please ?
- Sure.
492
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:37,160
Wait ! You don't have to do this.
I forgive you.
493
00:25:38,079 --> 00:25:40,440
Okay. Okay. Steps.
494
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,400
Jess, we both strayed from the path,
but I forgive you.
495
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,599
Please forgive me.
We need to go home.
496
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,119
It's not about your forgiveness.
It's something I have to do for myself.
497
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,640
- I want to come back.
- I can't go back with you.
498
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,319
Jess and I are together now.
499
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,799
What are you talking about, man ?
Help me !
500
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:59,839
Help you ? I'm not gonna help you
get back with my wife.
501
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:02,319
- We're a family.
- I thought you were a comedian now.
502
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,839
I don't have to be a comedian.
It's a hobby.
503
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,240
I can make you laugh.
I could make our kids laugh.
504
00:26:08,319 --> 00:26:10,200
You don't want to be with him, Jess.
You weren't happy.
505
00:26:10,279 --> 00:26:11,720
We can put the genie back
in the bottle.
506
00:26:11,799 --> 00:26:13,880
- You can't put genies back in bottles !
- Shut up !
507
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,599
- They're out !
- Shut up ! Shut up ! Shut up !
508
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,440
I trust Jesus !
509
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,759
Hallelujah ! Oh ! She is risen !
510
00:26:26,839 --> 00:26:30,319
That did not count. That did not count,
everyone ! None of this counts.
511
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:39,039
Jess, you don't understand.
I have nothing.
512
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,160
I have no job, I have no money.
513
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,759
I have no prospects.
I have nowhere to stay.
514
00:26:43,839 --> 00:26:45,680
I need to be with you.
515
00:26:45,759 --> 00:26:49,240
God will provide a way, Peter.
He always does.
516
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,119
What about Tampa, though ?!
517
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:56,920
Jess ?!
518
00:26:57,319 --> 00:26:59,079
I put down a deposit !
519
00:27:00,759 --> 00:27:03,599
Jess ! God.
520
00:27:04,839 --> 00:27:06,519
She wasn't that great.
521
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,440
- See ? This is church.
- Yeah. I'll tell ya, this ain't bad.
522
00:27:32,759 --> 00:27:36,279
That's good stuff. Thank you, Lord.
523
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,079
I've been doing
a lot of reflecting lately
524
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,720
on the happiest moments of my life,
and I thought of a big one.
525
00:27:42,799 --> 00:27:45,839
You ever make plans with someone
you do not want to hang out with,
526
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,000
and then they cancel ?
527
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,799
Does wet money work, man ?
528
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:57,160
What a rip. It's not enough anyway.
529
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,440
I can't really help you out
with the hotel,
530
00:27:59,519 --> 00:28:04,400
but my brother will wire me money
in the next couple days.
531
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,599
I just gotta give him a call.
He's a Bitcoin guy.
532
00:28:08,559 --> 00:28:12,079
Do you ever think about who existed
in your environment
533
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,880
before you came upon it ?
534
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:19,720
Like, for example, we are here,
but who was here before we got here ?
535
00:28:19,799 --> 00:28:22,640
Who was here before
this hotel was here ?
536
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:27,720
Maybe the Indians ?
Maybe pioneers ?
537
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,000
Could be Vikings.
538
00:28:32,079 --> 00:28:35,799
There were no Vikings
in upstate New York.
539
00:28:38,079 --> 00:28:39,799
Are you still mad ?
540
00:28:41,839 --> 00:28:44,559
Don't eat French fries with your foot.
541
00:28:46,599 --> 00:28:48,839
I'm really excited
about our friendship, man.
542
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:52,480
We're not friends.
We're broke together.
543
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,839
That's how it starts.
544
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:01,480
Would you be uncomfortable
if I put on some adult fare ?
545
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,720
CRASHING
546
00:29:12,599 --> 00:29:14,960
End of episode 8
45599
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