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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,833 --> 00:00:09,033 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:22,933 --> 00:00:25,600 - hey, larry. - hi, cha cha. 3 00:00:25,633 --> 00:00:28,000 Thanks again For recommending me For this job. 4 00:00:28,033 --> 00:00:31,733 - thanks. You were so great. - oh. Good. 5 00:00:31,767 --> 00:00:33,533 And richard says Thank you too. 6 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:34,767 ( giggles ) 7 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,667 - aren't these great? - yeah. 8 00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:38,333 You like 'em? I could get you a pair. 9 00:00:38,367 --> 00:00:40,300 Nah, that's okay. I'm going to the bathroom. 10 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,167 It's like ross Down by the airport-- They don't do just clothes. 11 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,100 They do housewares too, If you're interested. 12 00:00:45,133 --> 00:00:47,667 - that's okay. I'll-- I'll-- - so how are you today? 13 00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:50,600 - good. I'm just Going to the bathroom. - yeah? Is that prada? 14 00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,733 - hey, larry. - oh, hey, burt. 15 00:00:52,767 --> 00:00:55,833 - 1:00 lunch, right? - yeah, 1:00. 16 00:00:55,867 --> 00:00:57,400 Yeah, lunch With the wives. 17 00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:59,733 Downstairs, yeah. See you then. 18 00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:02,067 - he's great, isn't he? - he is a good guy, yeah. 19 00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:03,667 I wanna be a producer. How do you become A producer? 20 00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:05,433 You know, You gotta know people. 21 00:01:05,467 --> 00:01:08,300 - well, I know you. - you know me, yeah. That's true. Okay. 22 00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:12,133 - maybe we could talk about That sometime over lunch. - yeah, sure. 23 00:01:12,167 --> 00:01:14,500 Great. Okay. Just let me know when... 24 00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:17,300 - all right, okay. - ...And I'll write it In my filofax. 25 00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:32,467 Wow, that was quick. 26 00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:39,800 You don't really need To comment 27 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:41,867 On what's going on 28 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:44,833 - in terms of that Or anything. - oh, okay. I'm sorry. 29 00:01:44,867 --> 00:01:47,233 Okay. - by the way, how do you Get here in the morning? 30 00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:50,800 I'm having a hard time Getting here on time. What if we carpooled? 31 00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:53,133 I really gotta get back, Okay? So... 32 00:01:53,167 --> 00:01:55,067 Okay, maybe you could Think about it and... 33 00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:58,300 Yeah, we're not-- We probably won't be able To work that out, 34 00:01:58,333 --> 00:02:00,367 But I'll-- We'll think about it. 35 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,300 You have one of those Healthy cars. 36 00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:03,933 How does it work? 37 00:02:03,967 --> 00:02:06,767 You put your footon the gas. 38 00:02:09,133 --> 00:02:11,300 It was like having A bathroom monitor. 39 00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:13,633 - I have a bathroom monitor. - oh, that's terrible. 40 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,800 Why don't you go at home, Like I do? 41 00:02:15,833 --> 00:02:17,200 I don't like To go in my house. 42 00:02:17,233 --> 00:02:19,167 Who doesn't like To go in their house? 43 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,833 Cheryl has-- you know, She's an environmentalist. 44 00:02:21,867 --> 00:02:24,067 She has this recycled 45 00:02:24,067 --> 00:02:25,967 Post-consumer toilet paper All over the house. 46 00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:28,133 - oh. - it's coarse. 47 00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:30,067 It's like going To the port authority 48 00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,467 - or a whaling vessel. - a whaling vessel! 49 00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:35,767 I can't go here And I can't go there. It's horrible. 50 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,400 Oh, jeez. 51 00:02:37,433 --> 00:02:40,267 All right,let's go to lunch. 52 00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,833 I love that You have a restaurant In your building. 53 00:02:44,933 --> 00:02:46,767 - oh, and larry... - mmm. 54 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,933 Again, I want to thank you For cha cha. 55 00:02:48,967 --> 00:02:50,567 - that has worked out Very well. - what? 56 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,367 - cha cha. She's been wonderful. - oh my god, cha cha? 57 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,500 - cha cha's been wonderful. - are you kidding me? 58 00:02:54,533 --> 00:02:57,567 I apologize for having Even recommended her. 59 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,367 - no no. - you don't have to Lie to me. 60 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,367 Okay? You don't Have to lie to me. 61 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,833 No, I wouldn't. No, she's worked out Very well. 62 00:03:03,867 --> 00:03:05,800 - no, she's terrible. - better than expected. 63 00:03:05,833 --> 00:03:07,767 She's terrible and If you want to fire her, Go ahead. 64 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,133 Oh, right. No no. 65 00:03:09,167 --> 00:03:10,633 - don't keep her On my account, okay? - I won't. 66 00:03:10,667 --> 00:03:12,333 You're not gonna Hurt my feelings If you fire her. 67 00:03:12,367 --> 00:03:14,500 We're very happy with her. What can I say? 68 00:03:14,533 --> 00:03:16,067 I tell you what: I've noticed that Every time 69 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:19,333 I pass your office-- That she's not working, 70 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:22,500 That she's reading or Talking on the phone. By the way-- 71 00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:25,533 Well, that's her job. She's supposed to-- She's a receptionist. 72 00:03:25,567 --> 00:03:29,333 She's supposed To use obscenities Every other word, 73 00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:33,067 Say "Fuck" and "Fuck this, cunt that" The whole time? 74 00:03:33,067 --> 00:03:34,267 - susie: you're kidding me. - no, I'm not kidding. 75 00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:37,200 - the "C" word? - it's true, I swear. 76 00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:39,600 Oh, she's been very-- She really came along 77 00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:41,767 At a good time For all of us. 78 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,300 I am very impressed, Barbara, that you are Here today. 79 00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:46,067 - oh, thank you. Me too. - they've got nine kids. 80 00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:48,067 - susie: nine kids? Nine kids? - yeah. Yeah. 81 00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:51,367 - jeff: nine kids? That's unbelievable. - barbara: I know. 82 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,467 Larry: Jesus, you're kidding. 83 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,667 It's a little egotistical Though, isn't it... 84 00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:56,333 Burt: No, it's really Not up to us. 85 00:03:56,367 --> 00:03:58,067 ...To have So many of you? 86 00:03:58,067 --> 00:04:00,733 You want to bring So much more of you Into the world. 87 00:04:00,767 --> 00:04:03,067 Hey hey hey, You should tell larry About your dad's shop. 88 00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:05,700 Oh, my dad has opened This barbershop. 89 00:04:05,733 --> 00:04:08,067 He wants you both to come, Special invitation. 90 00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:10,433 Completely retro, Very old-school. 91 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:13,333 - you mean, Like the old barbershops? - oh yeah, with the pole. 92 00:04:13,367 --> 00:04:14,900 I love that. What a great idea. 93 00:04:14,933 --> 00:04:16,867 - the first thing He did was get the pole. - I'm gonna go. 94 00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:18,300 - jeff: I'm gonna go with you. - does he do the hot towels? 95 00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:21,067 - should we go To the barbershop? - I'm with you. Let's go. 96 00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:23,067 - we're gonna go. - yeah, get a cut And a shave. 97 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:26,500 - a little aqua velva? - susie: like "The godfather." 98 00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,167 Waiter: I hope that you Enjoyed your lunch. 99 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,467 Jeff: daviday, It was fantastic. 100 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,067 Good. I want to let you know 101 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:32,933 That we are going to send Our autumn food jellies 102 00:04:32,967 --> 00:04:36,067 Made of concentrated Sugar, apricots 103 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,767 And winter fruits And nuts. 104 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,167 - susie: oh, delicious. - winter fruits. 105 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,633 - a nice treat, A nice treat. - yummy. 106 00:04:41,667 --> 00:04:43,900 Now tell me, Is there anything else I can do for you? 107 00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:46,200 You know what? You could wrap this up For me to take home. 108 00:04:46,233 --> 00:04:49,300 Very good. You're going to warm that Up for a nice luncheon? 109 00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:52,133 Uh, no, actually. It's for the dog. 110 00:04:53,367 --> 00:04:55,400 We have a policy That we do not give food 111 00:04:55,433 --> 00:04:57,933 That was Prepared for people To animals. 112 00:04:57,967 --> 00:04:59,767 Well, I'm giving this To the dog. You're not. 113 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,800 So just wrap it up. I'll give it To the dog. 114 00:05:01,833 --> 00:05:04,133 No, that is the policy Of the restaurant. 115 00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:06,400 All right, daviday, Forget I said it. 116 00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:08,700 Just wrap it up. I'm taking it home. Okay? 117 00:05:08,733 --> 00:05:11,467 We do not give Doggy bags to dogs. 118 00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:14,433 Why do you think They call it a goddamn Doggy bag, huh? 119 00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:16,067 If you want To feed an animal, Why don't you 120 00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:18,367 Go to petco And get a bag of kibble? 121 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,733 Well, I give him kibble And I like to spice it up 122 00:05:20,767 --> 00:05:23,867 - with a little steak Every now and then. - I can bring you corn. 123 00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:25,567 - I don't want corn. This is my steak. - okay, you know what? 124 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:26,767 - hey hey hey. - what? 125 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:30,233 You know what? I'm gonna take that home. 126 00:05:30,267 --> 00:05:33,367 - susie: oh, okay. - do you mind? Do you mind? 127 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,400 - you take it home. - daviday, I'm gonna Take this home. 128 00:05:36,433 --> 00:05:38,200 - do you have an animal? - no. 129 00:05:38,233 --> 00:05:41,600 - does he have an animal? - no. 130 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,600 So you are going To eat that? 131 00:05:43,633 --> 00:05:44,600 Yes. 132 00:05:44,633 --> 00:05:46,167 - you promise me? - yeah. 133 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,967 We shall see. 134 00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:58,367 - susie: a fucking nutjob. - "We shall see"? 135 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,733 - susie: what does that mean? - larry: it's a little crazy 136 00:06:00,767 --> 00:06:02,700 That you can't Give a doggy bag To a dog. 137 00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:05,633 - jeff: it's none Of their business. - thank you. Thank you. 138 00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:08,167 - all right, I'm going To the bathroom. - all right. 139 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,133 Jeff: You're excused. 140 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,767 Hey, larry. Long time no see. 141 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,533 - hey, cha cha. - hey. 142 00:06:17,567 --> 00:06:19,567 - have you had The fruit plate here? - no. 143 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,067 - it's excellent. - really? 144 00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:22,867 - you have to try it. Taste this. - no, please. 145 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:26,633 - it's the ripest cantaloupe. - I've had fruit. Fruit's fruit pretty much. 146 00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:29,233 What did you have For lunch? 147 00:06:29,267 --> 00:06:31,067 - I had some chicken. - chicken? 148 00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:33,500 Chicken and fruit go together. You can have this for dessert. 149 00:06:33,533 --> 00:06:35,233 - okay, I gotta-- - it's really really good. 150 00:06:35,267 --> 00:06:36,900 I highly recommend it. 151 00:06:36,933 --> 00:06:39,233 Mm, that time again, huh? 152 00:06:57,367 --> 00:06:59,400 - oh, cool, you're here. I owe you. - oh, hey. 153 00:06:59,433 --> 00:07:01,367 Good to see you, man. I was just over At cha cha's. 154 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,200 Ooh, god, is she Beautiful. Whew. Jesus. 155 00:07:04,233 --> 00:07:07,100 Listen, I had an idea. I want to go to a movie Tomorrow night 156 00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:09,333 And maybe-- It's been a while-- Let's double-date, 157 00:07:09,367 --> 00:07:10,933 Cha cha and me And you and cheryl. 158 00:07:10,967 --> 00:07:13,833 What do you think? 159 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,500 - uh... - why the hesitation? 160 00:07:15,533 --> 00:07:18,200 I don't know. I mean, I don't know What our plans are. 161 00:07:18,233 --> 00:07:19,933 I'll let you know. I'll call you. 162 00:07:19,967 --> 00:07:22,167 What's wrong? 163 00:07:24,633 --> 00:07:26,700 You know, I got cha cha This job and all... 164 00:07:26,733 --> 00:07:27,833 Yeah, and she Loves you for it. Me too, by the way. 165 00:07:27,867 --> 00:07:31,967 Yeah, well, it's not really Working out for me, 166 00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:34,100 I gotta tell you. 167 00:07:34,133 --> 00:07:35,167 Why not? 168 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,067 Her office is right across From the bathroom. 169 00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:40,200 - yeah, I know. - every time I go To the bathroom 170 00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:43,333 I have to have this-- Stop and chat with her 171 00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:47,500 Both before I go And after I go. It's too much. 172 00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:49,900 She means well. By the way, she's told me 173 00:07:49,933 --> 00:07:53,367 That you go to the bathroom, Like, 10 to 14 times a day. 174 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,667 You move your bowels, You piss... 175 00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:57,467 Are you all right? She was concerned. 176 00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:59,267 Okay, do you see What I'm saying? 177 00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:02,433 This is what I'm talking about. This is none of her business-- 178 00:08:02,467 --> 00:08:04,133 How often I go To the bathroom, 179 00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:06,667 What I'm doing in there, How long I'm in there. 180 00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:09,533 Talking to you About my personal Bathroom habits-- 181 00:08:09,567 --> 00:08:12,533 That's not good, all right? It's too much. It's too much. 182 00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:15,267 Someone's got to sit there. Would you rather have A klansman sitting there? 183 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:18,400 No, I'd rather have A stranger, frankly-- A stranger sitting there 184 00:08:18,433 --> 00:08:20,700 Who I don't have to Report into. 185 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:23,733 - she cares about you. - oh, she cares about me? 186 00:08:23,767 --> 00:08:25,900 - yeah. - okay, listen, It's none of her business. 187 00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:27,900 She has Bowel concern for you And I do too. 188 00:08:27,933 --> 00:08:29,633 I don't need Her bowel concern. 189 00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:32,133 - how much water do you drink? - I drink a lot of water, That's all. 190 00:08:32,167 --> 00:08:33,133 - big deal. - a lot of water? You drink More than a porpoise. 191 00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:36,300 Yeah, usually I have Bottles of water. 192 00:08:36,333 --> 00:08:38,167 - I don't know where they are. - no one pisses that often 193 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,167 Without drinking, like, Thousands of gallons a week. 194 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,567 Okay, all right, let's stop Talking about this. 195 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,567 My bathroom habits are not Your concern, okay? 196 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,800 All right, I won't care About your health. Fine. 197 00:08:47,833 --> 00:08:49,733 You don't need to care about-- I'm in very good health. 198 00:08:49,767 --> 00:08:51,667 - you are? - I got a beautiful colon. 199 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:53,567 - you wanna take A picture of my colon? - I have a vhs of mine. 200 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,400 Fine. You can put my colon up Next to your colon. 201 00:08:56,433 --> 00:08:57,767 We'll see who's got A cleaner, healthier colon. 202 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,567 I'll have a colon contest With you any time you want. 203 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,067 Any time you want to have A colon contest, buddy, yeah. 204 00:09:02,067 --> 00:09:04,300 You're shitting and pissing Almost 70 times a week. 205 00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:07,333 Get the hell out of here. This is ridiculous. 206 00:09:07,367 --> 00:09:08,500 She's right next to you. 207 00:09:08,533 --> 00:09:10,067 I don't want her Monitoring 208 00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:13,700 My bathroom habits, Okay? 209 00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:15,700 What are you eating? A lot of grains 210 00:09:15,733 --> 00:09:17,633 And fruit and nuts Like a jew squirrel? 211 00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:19,900 - okay. - where are you going? 212 00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:21,167 You're not going To the bathroom again? 213 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,600 No, I'm not going To the bathroom. 214 00:09:22,633 --> 00:09:24,233 - you are going To the bathroom. - no. 215 00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:26,233 I bet you are Going to the bathroom. 216 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,900 ( screaming ) 217 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,933 So what happened? 218 00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:25,667 I flushed a toilet And it was, like, 219 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:28,667 The loudest flush, Like a sonic boom Went off. 220 00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:31,900 - it just was so loud That I was thrown back. - really? 221 00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:33,767 I was trapped Inside the stall 222 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,433 And I'm telling you, It's killing me. 223 00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:38,800 Okay, so you're having Some pain there. 224 00:10:38,833 --> 00:10:40,400 - right ear, yeah. - right ear, okay. 225 00:10:40,433 --> 00:10:42,667 Let me just ask you A couple other questions. 226 00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:44,533 Re you experiencing Any dizziness? 227 00:10:44,567 --> 00:10:46,233 - no. - no. 228 00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:48,333 - any shortness of breath? - no. 229 00:10:48,367 --> 00:10:50,433 - aches and pains Anywhere else? - no. 230 00:10:50,467 --> 00:10:52,100 Are you going To the bathroom a lot? 231 00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:57,067 I don't see how that's Relevant, really-- 232 00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,167 Am I going To the bathroom a lot. 233 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,367 Are you urinatinga lot? 234 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,067 What does that have to do With my ear? 235 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,167 This is a standard Medical question. It's all-- 236 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,667 I know, but I really Don't think it's relevant 237 00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:10,600 How often I go To the bathroom. 238 00:11:10,633 --> 00:11:11,900 With all due respect, I think I'm the one 239 00:11:11,933 --> 00:11:14,233 Who should tell you If it's relevant or not. And it is. 240 00:11:14,267 --> 00:11:18,200 Well, let's just say-- Let's just move on. How about that? 241 00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:20,233 What, you're Not gonna tell me About urination? 242 00:11:20,267 --> 00:11:22,433 I'd really rather Not talk about it. 243 00:11:22,467 --> 00:11:24,900 I don't see how it's Anybody's business, Frankly, you know. 244 00:11:24,933 --> 00:11:27,367 It's kind of private And I really don't think-- 245 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,167 - how is it private? - it's private. 246 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,367 How often I go to the bathroom is Kind of a private thing. 247 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,767 Yeah, but I'm not some-- We're not on a bus. I'm a doctor. 248 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,900 We'll just have To make a diagnosis Without this information. 249 00:11:36,933 --> 00:11:38,867 I'm normal. Let's just say that, okay? 250 00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:41,467 - what does "Normal" mean? - everything's normal. It's normal. 251 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,533 Three times a day, Four times a day? 252 00:11:43,567 --> 00:11:44,867 Do we have to get Into a specific number? 253 00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,667 Do we have to get A number attached to it? 254 00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:49,667 - yeah, it's science. - however often people are Supposed to go, I go, 255 00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:51,700 Unless I drink A lot of water. And, you know, 256 00:11:51,733 --> 00:11:54,833 Sometimes I drink a lot of water And I'll go a lot. 257 00:11:54,867 --> 00:11:56,567 If you had an office Next to the bathroom And it was one of those days 258 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,233 I was drinking a lot of water, You'd say, "Boy, this guy Goes a lot." 259 00:11:59,267 --> 00:12:01,367 But so what? So what? 260 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,167 - what are you talking about? - I'm talking about, 261 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,967 You know, Urination frequency 262 00:12:05,067 --> 00:12:07,167 If I happen to be Drinking a lot of water, 263 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,700 Which I have Been doing lately, So maybe lately 264 00:12:09,733 --> 00:12:11,767 I've been going more often Than I normally would. 265 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,400 - great. - but it's good for you 266 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,133 To drink water. That's a good thing. 267 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:16,767 - that's all I wanted to hear. - that's a good thing, Drinking water. 268 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,867 Yes, sure sure. Okay, let's move on. 269 00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:20,867 Please. 270 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,967 How's your stool? 271 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,667 - please. - stool's fine. Let's move on. 272 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:29,533 - all right. - you know, again, 273 00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:31,900 I mean, if I do Drink a lot of water, 274 00:12:31,933 --> 00:12:34,267 I eat a lot of salad too. So that's good. 275 00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,600 It's normal, okay? Is it more than once a day? 276 00:12:36,633 --> 00:12:39,067 Many times it is, yeah. More than twice a day? 277 00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,900 Sometimes, you know. Who knows? 278 00:12:40,933 --> 00:12:43,700 If you had an office Next to the bathroom And I was going 279 00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:45,900 And you looked at your watch And you saw how long I was in there, 280 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:48,333 You might say, "Oh, boy, he goes a lot." 281 00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:50,067 But so what? That's good. That's a good thing. 282 00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:52,533 - all right, I apologize for-- - let's just-- can we Get to the ear? 283 00:12:52,567 --> 00:12:56,067 Sure sure. So here's-- It's pretty simple, really. I'm gonna suggest-- 284 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,333 I'm exhausted From being here, 285 00:12:58,367 --> 00:13:00,200 You know, having to talk About my stool, 286 00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:03,733 How often I'm urinating. I mean, you know, My ear hurts. 287 00:13:03,767 --> 00:13:05,467 Okay, here's what I'm gonna Suggest for your ear: 288 00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,267 You just basically Stay off it. 289 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,067 Use your left ear To talk on the phone 290 00:13:09,067 --> 00:13:12,600 If you need to For some reason favor an ear, Favor the left one. 291 00:13:12,633 --> 00:13:14,233 Don't use the phone From my right ear? 292 00:13:14,267 --> 00:13:15,567 Yeah. I mean, You just want to limit 293 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,300 The amount of noise That goes into it. 294 00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:20,433 You want me To talk lefty? 295 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,167 Yeah, just talk lefty. 296 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,067 I have a hard time Talking lefty on the phone. 297 00:13:24,067 --> 00:13:26,467 Everything comes out wrong. It's like throwing lefty. I can't do it. 298 00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:30,067 I'm not myself. I feel different, strange, Like I'm not me. 299 00:13:30,067 --> 00:13:33,800 I'm not comfortable Talking lefty. 300 00:13:33,833 --> 00:13:37,767 All I can do is give you My expert opinion, okay? 301 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,233 So that's what I'm suggesting. I'm suggesting you stay Off the right ear. 302 00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:41,867 Okay, fine. I'll talk lefty. 303 00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:43,567 And I also think It wouldn't hurt you 304 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,433 To talk to your therapist About your bathroom issues, 305 00:13:45,467 --> 00:13:48,267 'cause there's clearly Something going on there. 306 00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:49,367 Okay? 307 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,067 I think I'd like to see Somebody else. 308 00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:54,067 All right. That's your right. Fine. 309 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,900 Is there somebody In the office I could see? 310 00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:57,600 Now? 311 00:13:57,633 --> 00:14:00,133 No no, you have to Make an appointment. 312 00:14:02,433 --> 00:14:04,467 This isn't mcdonald's, okay? 313 00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:06,567 Okay, fine. 314 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,567 - okay, all right. - okay, thank you. 315 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,100 Thank you. 316 00:14:17,867 --> 00:14:19,767 What the fuck are you Looking at, jewboy? 317 00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:23,133 Fucking faggot. 318 00:14:25,467 --> 00:14:27,067 That's right, Keep walking. 319 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,900 - hey. - come on, Let's deal with it. 320 00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:41,367 - can we talk to you? - what? Wow. Hey hey. 321 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,067 - I like cheryl. She's sweet, but... - yeah. 322 00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:48,133 She's nice, But the toilet paper... 323 00:14:48,167 --> 00:14:50,067 I've never seen no Toilet paper like that. 324 00:14:50,067 --> 00:14:51,733 Have you been To port authority before, 325 00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:53,167 - the port authority In new york city? - yeah. 326 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,200 That's what It feels like. 327 00:14:55,233 --> 00:14:57,767 - real close. - I said the same thing The other day. 328 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,733 - mm-hmm. - did you get that from me? 329 00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:03,200 - yeah. - y'all got some funny kind Of toilet paper here. 330 00:15:03,233 --> 00:15:05,567 - we can't deal With this toilet paper. - hey, tell me about it. 331 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,600 - you know what I mean? It's rough. - it's rough. 332 00:15:07,633 --> 00:15:10,133 Well, you know, It's an environmental thing. 333 00:15:10,167 --> 00:15:13,067 She's doing it For the environment. What can I do? 334 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:15,867 Can you do us a favor? Can we get some soft Toilet paper to use? 335 00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:18,067 - all right, okay. - auntie rae: the babies' Behinds are hurting. 336 00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:20,467 All right. 337 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:22,900 Here's what I'm gonna suggest: 338 00:15:22,933 --> 00:15:25,867 - you want soft paper? - oh, yes. No doubt. 339 00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:29,067 - I'll get you your Soft toilet paper... - okay, cool. 340 00:15:29,067 --> 00:15:32,233 ...Under one condition-- 341 00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:34,967 I want access To the toilet. 342 00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:37,200 - you want To use our bathroom? - so what you're saying is, 343 00:15:37,233 --> 00:15:39,200 You want to Come in our bathroom And use our bathroom? 344 00:15:39,233 --> 00:15:40,567 You got it. 345 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,500 - I want some soft Toilet paper. - okay, fine. 346 00:15:43,533 --> 00:15:45,533 - it's all about the tissue. - okay, you have a deal. 347 00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:47,967 - auntie rae, all right. - deal. 348 00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:52,100 - my man. - leon. Oh, hey, By the way, 349 00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:54,333 If cheryl finds out, 350 00:15:54,367 --> 00:15:55,800 You're all going down With me. 351 00:15:55,833 --> 00:15:57,933 - we got your back. - we got your back. 352 00:15:57,967 --> 00:15:59,367 - cool. - what it is what it is. 353 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,933 Leon, come here. I need to talk to you. 354 00:16:01,967 --> 00:16:03,400 What's going down, larry? 355 00:16:03,433 --> 00:16:06,300 Listen to this, All right? 356 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:07,800 I'm in a doctor's office Earlier, 357 00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:10,500 There's a guy sitting there, A skinhead, okay? 358 00:16:10,533 --> 00:16:12,633 He looks at me And he says, 359 00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:15,167 "What the fuck are you Looking at, jewboy?" 360 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,367 - what? - "Fucking faggot." 361 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:20,367 What? Okay, what'd you do? 362 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,167 - what'd I do? - yeah, what'd you do? 363 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,600 I slunk out. 364 00:16:24,633 --> 00:16:25,967 You slunk out? 365 00:16:26,067 --> 00:16:27,700 Slunk. I slunk out. 366 00:16:27,733 --> 00:16:29,733 So you didn't do shit And you punked out. 367 00:16:29,767 --> 00:16:30,767 That's what the fuck Happened, right? 368 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,800 Yeah, I punked out. I punked out. 369 00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:34,833 - how'd that happen? - well, what was I Gonna do? 370 00:16:34,867 --> 00:16:36,067 The guy could have Killed me. 371 00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:37,767 Next time a man calls you A fucking faggot, 372 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,333 You get in that ass, larry. Know what I mean? 373 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,667 You get in that ass, larry. That's what the fuck you do. 374 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,600 - what are you talking about? - you let that man slide today. 375 00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:47,767 You gotta immediately Get in somebody's ass When that happens to you. 376 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,267 You pull their Asshole open, 377 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,400 Step into their asshole, Close the door behind you, 378 00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:53,067 - pick up your spray-paint Can, right? - uh-huh. 379 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,233 "Larry was here." You spray-paint 380 00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:58,300 "Larry was here," "Wash me," All that kind of shit, 381 00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,333 Fuck his whole asshole up, Eat some snickers bar, 382 00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:02,167 Throw some paper on the floor, Read a newspaper, 383 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,867 Ball the paper up, The newspaper, and throw The newspaper on the floor, 384 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,800 Fuck his whole asshole up, You know what I'm saying? 385 00:17:06,833 --> 00:17:08,300 Then you open that asshole One more time-- 386 00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:10,867 Open it again, Open that asshole again- Uhh! 387 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:13,833 Step out of his ass And leave that motherfucker Wide open, 388 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,800 - so he knows You've been there. - open it up, 389 00:17:15,833 --> 00:17:17,133 - step in. - step in their asshole. 390 00:17:17,167 --> 00:17:18,900 - spray-paint "Larry was here." - "Larry was here." 391 00:17:18,933 --> 00:17:22,067 - leave garbage, snickers, Eat snickers, leave garbage. - spit, fuck it. 392 00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:23,133 - get out. - mm! 393 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,400 - open it up again. - step out their asshole. 394 00:17:25,433 --> 00:17:27,100 - step out. - don't even close That motherfucker. 395 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,900 Leave it open So he knows you've been there. 396 00:17:28,933 --> 00:17:31,233 - you feel me? - I got you. 397 00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:33,200 That's how You handle people. 398 00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:35,300 Mm! Get in that ass, larry. 399 00:17:35,333 --> 00:17:36,733 - don't worry. - all right. 400 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,567 I hope you don't Get me killed. 401 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,533 My man. 402 00:17:53,833 --> 00:17:55,767 ( line ringing ) 403 00:17:57,733 --> 00:17:59,667 ( huffing ) 404 00:18:03,233 --> 00:18:05,433 - hello? - hey, is richard there? 405 00:18:05,467 --> 00:18:08,467 Uh, no, he's not. Is this larry? 406 00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:09,833 Yeah. 407 00:18:09,867 --> 00:18:12,267 - this is cha cha. - ah. 408 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,900 ( chuckles ) - cha cha. 409 00:18:13,933 --> 00:18:16,967 Hi, larry. You just caught me In the middle of a workout. 410 00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:18,867 So I'm calling About the movies. 411 00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:20,367 Yeah, the movies, right. 412 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,967 You know, We were talking about-- Wouldn't it be great 413 00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:24,500 If we could all go To a really nice dinner 414 00:18:24,533 --> 00:18:26,767 In one of those Fancy-schmancy joints? 415 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:31,067 Okay, I'll tell-- I'll tell cheryl. 416 00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:32,367 Great. 417 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,200 What are you wearing? 418 00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:39,967 What am I wearing Right now? 419 00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:41,700 Yeah, what are you Wearing? 420 00:18:41,733 --> 00:18:45,567 You're making me Uncomfortable, larry. 421 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,133 ( groaning ) 422 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,467 1- ( moaning ) - I'm gonna hang up Right now. 423 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:54,267 'm gonna Hang up right now. 424 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,333 - goodbye. - bye. 425 00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:03,633 I am loving this place. Jeff, how great is This place? 426 00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:06,067 It's unbelievable. I'm having a great time. 427 00:19:06,067 --> 00:19:07,800 It's like my old Barbershop in brooklyn. 428 00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:09,433 Yeah, reminds me Of the old days, you know. 429 00:19:09,467 --> 00:19:12,433 I like the whole Snip-snip thing, The sound of it. 430 00:19:12,467 --> 00:19:14,900 I think I can do it too. It doesn't look That hard. 431 00:19:14,933 --> 00:19:16,967 You know, It's like the bongos-- Who can't do that? 432 00:19:17,067 --> 00:19:18,400 - ( laughs ) - you know what I mean? 433 00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:20,400 - yeah. - anybody can play The bongos, come on. 434 00:19:20,433 --> 00:19:23,867 Do you have to Be that skilled To bang on something? 435 00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:27,400 - come on, how hard is that? - I never thought of that. 436 00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,600 When was the last time You saw burt? 437 00:19:29,633 --> 00:19:31,533 Oh, I just Had lunch with him 438 00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:33,067 The other day, Him and barbara. 439 00:19:33,067 --> 00:19:35,100 You notice anything Different about them? 440 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,800 No. 441 00:19:37,833 --> 00:19:40,967 'cause she just had A miscarriage. 442 00:19:41,067 --> 00:19:42,667 - really? - yeah. 443 00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:44,433 It's a shame. 444 00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:46,067 Shame? 445 00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:48,400 They do have nine kids. 446 00:19:53,467 --> 00:19:55,167 - that's it? - yep. 447 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,733 Wow, that was Pretty fast. 448 00:19:58,967 --> 00:20:00,833 You haven't taken Anything off. 449 00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:04,133 Hey! ( screaming ) 450 00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:14,567 I'm good. 451 00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:20,467 Where the hell Have you been? 452 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,367 I've been calling you All goddamn day. 453 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,867 - we were getting a haircut. - this is a bag of shit. 454 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:27,333 Oscar's been shitting. I've been cleaning up Shit all day. 455 00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:30,567 He ate those leftovers That that asshole gave us. 456 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,333 - really? - "We shall see." 457 00:20:33,367 --> 00:20:36,200 - "We shall see." daviday. - that little piece of shit. 458 00:20:36,233 --> 00:20:38,567 - is that possible, That that nut did that? - yes yes. 459 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,600 - he put crap in there. He put something in there. - jesus christ. 460 00:20:41,633 --> 00:20:43,067 - jeff: is he throwing up too? - what a psycho. 461 00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,167 You gotta go down there And tell this motherfucker 462 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,267 - you're gonna kick his ass. - oh, yeah. 463 00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:49,700 No, wait a second. He can't go down there. 464 00:20:49,733 --> 00:20:52,000 - why? - because I took The food home. 465 00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:55,767 - I promised him That I would eat it. - all right, you go down there. 466 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,433 - you go. - yeah, better idea: 467 00:20:57,467 --> 00:20:59,433 You go, larry. You go tell him 468 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:01,267 That you've been shitting All over yourself all day, 469 00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:03,667 Shitting in your pants, You can't make it To the toilet, 470 00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:05,533 You got shit Running down your leg. 471 00:21:05,567 --> 00:21:06,800 Why can't I make it To the toilet? 472 00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:09,167 Because it's more dramatic That way. 473 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,167 I don't wanna tell a guy I got shit running Down my leg. 474 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,733 All right, tell him Whatever the fuck you want. Tell him you've been 475 00:21:12,767 --> 00:21:16,333 - sick sick Sick as a dog, okay? - all right. 476 00:21:16,367 --> 00:21:17,667 I'm gonna go To the restaurant Right now, 477 00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:19,400 - see what he says. - go! 478 00:21:19,433 --> 00:21:22,400 - you know, These waiters are nuts. - jeff: he's nuts. 479 00:21:22,433 --> 00:21:25,333 You can't get On a waiter's bad side. They'll do anything. 480 00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:27,067 - jeff: I never Said anything back. - you gotta be so nice to 'e. 481 00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:28,533 You gotta leave A good tip. 482 00:21:28,567 --> 00:21:30,567 - jeff, throw this out. - you throw it out. 483 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,433 You throw it out. I've been cleaning-- - no, you got gloves. 484 00:21:32,467 --> 00:21:34,100 - I've been Cleaning this shit. - you got gloves! 485 00:21:34,133 --> 00:21:37,233 - throw it out. - aw, fuck. 486 00:21:47,067 --> 00:21:50,233 Hello, daviday. 487 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:52,933 Hello, larry. Nice to see you again. 488 00:21:52,967 --> 00:21:55,933 Good to see you, daviday. 489 00:21:55,967 --> 00:22:00,567 You know, I ate the leftovers 490 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,800 And I just want you To know 491 00:22:02,833 --> 00:22:04,633 I got sick from them. 492 00:22:04,667 --> 00:22:06,400 Now when you say That you got sick, Do you mean 493 00:22:06,433 --> 00:22:08,233 That the animal got sick Or that you got sick? 494 00:22:08,267 --> 00:22:10,100 - no no, I got sick. - you got sick? 495 00:22:10,133 --> 00:22:13,367 Yes, and I'm just Kind of wondering 496 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,367 If the food 497 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:18,200 Perhaps was Tampered with. 498 00:22:18,233 --> 00:22:20,633 Well, it most certainly Was not tampered with. 499 00:22:20,667 --> 00:22:22,167 - really? - absolutely. 500 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,467 Are you sure? 501 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:26,167 I'm very sure. 502 00:22:41,567 --> 00:22:44,733 - I don't believe you. - larry, how can you Accuse me of that? 503 00:22:44,767 --> 00:22:46,500 Because I was sick. I was running to The bathroom all day. 504 00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:48,200 - all day? - all day. 505 00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:50,333 - oh, really? I see. - really. Yeah. 506 00:22:50,367 --> 00:22:52,367 Aha. Cha cha? 507 00:22:53,733 --> 00:22:54,967 Come here For a moment, please. 508 00:22:58,500 --> 00:23:01,733 Larry doesn't feel well. He said that his bowels Are irregular. 509 00:23:01,767 --> 00:23:05,600 How many times has larry Gone to the bathroom today? 510 00:23:05,633 --> 00:23:07,067 Twice so far, 511 00:23:07,067 --> 00:23:08,667 Two minutes Each time. 512 00:23:08,700 --> 00:23:10,067 Thank you. 513 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,800 Larry, that does not sound Like a man who's sick at all. 514 00:23:30,167 --> 00:23:33,167 - ( punches and grunts on tv ) - ( chattering ) 515 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,967 What's up, l.D.? 516 00:23:35,067 --> 00:23:37,733 Um... 517 00:23:37,767 --> 00:23:40,567 I'm just gonna Use the bathroom. 518 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,600 - leon: what? - loretta: hmm? 519 00:23:42,633 --> 00:23:45,800 Bathroom. I'm gonna use The bathroom. 520 00:24:16,067 --> 00:24:18,200 What are you doing In there? 521 00:24:18,233 --> 00:24:21,700 The toilet wasn't Working properly. 522 00:24:21,733 --> 00:24:24,567 - so you fixed it? - I did, actually, yeah. 523 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,500 - oh, okay, great. - I had to just Jiggle it around. 524 00:24:27,533 --> 00:24:28,967 Oh, okay. So it's all-- 525 00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:31,267 Hey, stay here For a second. No no, I just want to see 526 00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:32,600 Your handiwork. Hold on. 527 00:24:32,633 --> 00:24:36,300 Hey, don't go anywhere. Don't go anywhere. 528 00:24:36,333 --> 00:24:38,200 Oh, wait a second. 529 00:24:38,233 --> 00:24:41,400 Larry? 530 00:24:41,433 --> 00:24:43,767 Do you know How many millions Of virgin trees 531 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,700 Are cut down to make This toilet paper, 532 00:24:45,733 --> 00:24:47,467 Which is contributing To global warming, 533 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:50,100 Which is causing hurricanes, Which is why you're here? 534 00:24:50,133 --> 00:24:52,267 Do you have any idea What I'm talking About, larry? 535 00:24:52,300 --> 00:24:53,967 - yeah, that's what I was telling them. - this isn't the kind 536 00:24:54,067 --> 00:24:56,500 - of toilet paper We use in this house. - no, it's not. 537 00:24:56,533 --> 00:24:58,700 We use recycled Post-consumer toilet paper. 538 00:24:58,733 --> 00:25:03,167 - that's what I've been trying- - so why do we have tons of Toilet paper in this bathroom? 539 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,967 And why were you In this bathroom Using this toilet paper? 540 00:25:06,067 --> 00:25:09,200 Again, the toilet Was broken, 541 00:25:09,233 --> 00:25:10,633 But they asked me-- They were very unhappy-- 542 00:25:10,667 --> 00:25:13,800 - we asked you? Hold there, hold up. - ( all talking at once ) 543 00:25:13,833 --> 00:25:15,833 You liars, You were complaining About the toilet paper. 544 00:25:15,867 --> 00:25:19,067 - he wanted access To our bathroom. - auntie rae, 545 00:25:19,100 --> 00:25:21,933 Don't blame this on me, Auntie rae. 546 00:25:21,967 --> 00:25:27,167 - ( doorbell rings ) - ( all continue overlapping) 547 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,100 Hey, david, Come down here, pervo. 548 00:25:30,133 --> 00:25:32,233 Come down here, You fucking pervo. 549 00:25:32,267 --> 00:25:34,967 What? What are you talking about? How did you get in? 550 00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:36,400 The fucking door. How else do you think I got in? 551 00:25:36,433 --> 00:25:38,567 This kid has got to stop Leaving the door open, man. 552 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,533 This is it. If I didn't know you My whole life, 553 00:25:40,567 --> 00:25:42,333 You know what? I'd attack you Right now. 554 00:25:42,367 --> 00:25:44,867 - what are you talking about? - you called my girlfriend 555 00:25:44,900 --> 00:25:46,733 And hit on her And she doesn't respond 556 00:25:46,767 --> 00:25:50,333 - and you fucking get her fired, You fucking piece of shit. - what? 557 00:25:50,367 --> 00:25:52,167 First of all, I never hit on her. 558 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,067 - and what are you Talking about, "Fired"? - burt's dad at the barbershop. 559 00:25:54,100 --> 00:25:57,233 You made that fucking Miscarriage remark. So he fired her 560 00:25:57,267 --> 00:25:59,833 Because he wants nothing to do With anybody that knows you. 561 00:25:59,867 --> 00:26:01,833 Oh, he's supposed to be Getting back at me? 562 00:26:01,867 --> 00:26:03,833 Who are you to tell him How many kids to have? 563 00:26:03,867 --> 00:26:05,100 She's got nine kids. Come on, that's plenty. 564 00:26:05,133 --> 00:26:07,133 - she wants more children. - how many does she need? 565 00:26:07,167 --> 00:26:08,567 Who the fuck are you, The messiah, to count? 566 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,933 I got news for you. That's enough. By the way, 567 00:26:10,967 --> 00:26:12,400 In china You're allowed two. 568 00:26:12,433 --> 00:26:13,933 Those people would be Killed in china. - china what? 569 00:26:13,967 --> 00:26:15,633 Two-- two babies in china. 570 00:26:15,667 --> 00:26:17,067 What happens If you have three? 571 00:26:17,067 --> 00:26:19,167 - they execute you. - they kill the baby? 572 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,700 Not the baby, idiot. They kill the parents. 573 00:26:21,733 --> 00:26:23,467 Get out of here. 574 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:25,900 Well, maybe they don't execute, But they give you a good Dressing-down. 575 00:26:25,933 --> 00:26:28,200 How dare you lose My girlfriend's job? 576 00:26:28,233 --> 00:26:29,633 She lost Her health insurance, 577 00:26:29,667 --> 00:26:31,267 She has no self-worth Anymore. 578 00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:33,967 - she lost her self-worth? Oh, really? - that's right. 579 00:26:34,067 --> 00:26:37,067 You get on that Goddamn telephone and you Get my girlfriend's job back. 580 00:26:37,100 --> 00:26:38,700 You call burt And you apologize. 581 00:26:38,733 --> 00:26:40,833 Okay, I'll make that call Under one condition: 582 00:26:40,867 --> 00:26:42,667 I want to be able To use your bathroom 583 00:26:42,700 --> 00:26:45,300 - on the way to work In the morning. - sit on my toilet? 584 00:26:45,333 --> 00:26:46,667 - yeah. - there's no fucking way. 585 00:26:46,700 --> 00:26:48,733 - why? - nobody sits On richard lewis's toilet. 586 00:26:48,767 --> 00:26:51,200 - you use every Toilet in the house? - that's right. I rotate. 587 00:26:51,233 --> 00:26:53,433 - I can't use the basement? - no, that's for weekends. 588 00:26:53,467 --> 00:26:54,667 I have no place To go to the bathroom. 589 00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:56,467 I can't go here, I can't go at work. 590 00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:58,767 You just make The goddamn call. You owe me. 591 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,600 - jesus christ. - I'll try. 592 00:27:00,633 --> 00:27:01,733 - that's all I can do. - yeah, fine. 593 00:27:01,767 --> 00:27:04,067 Just get her Her job back. 594 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,333 What are you doing? I want a righty call. 595 00:27:11,367 --> 00:27:13,067 What's this Lefty bullshit? 596 00:27:13,067 --> 00:27:16,167 I want a righty call. 597 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:17,500 Jesus christ. 598 00:27:20,067 --> 00:27:21,833 - hello? - oh, hey, barbara? 599 00:27:21,867 --> 00:27:23,333 - yes. - hey, it's larry david. 600 00:27:23,367 --> 00:27:25,767 Oh, hi, larry. 601 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,700 - ( shouts ) fuck you! - ( screaming ) 602 00:27:35,067 --> 00:27:37,633 The woman's out of her mind, Screaming in my ear Like that. 603 00:27:37,667 --> 00:27:39,800 Can you imagine? Fuck. 604 00:27:39,833 --> 00:27:42,133 Thanks for taking me, By the way. 605 00:27:42,167 --> 00:27:45,367 You're damn right, man. It's a big favor I'm Doing your ass, man. 606 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,533 There's the building. Pull over. 607 00:27:47,567 --> 00:27:50,333 All right. 608 00:27:50,367 --> 00:27:53,767 Okay, park the car And come up, okay? 609 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,067 His name's Dr. Schaeffer. 610 00:27:55,067 --> 00:27:58,067 Dr. Schaeffer. All right. 611 00:27:58,067 --> 00:28:01,067 ( quiet jazz music Playing ) 612 00:28:06,467 --> 00:28:07,633 So you're all set, Actually. 613 00:28:07,667 --> 00:28:08,700 We'll see you Next wednesday. 614 00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:15,600 Leon's voice: You get in that ass. 615 00:28:15,633 --> 00:28:17,367 You get in his ass Immediately. 616 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,533 - get in that ass, larry. - hey! 617 00:28:19,567 --> 00:28:21,500 Come on, You fucking skinhead, 618 00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:22,900 You piece of shit, Let's go! 619 00:28:22,933 --> 00:28:26,067 He is not a skinhead. He just came out Of chemotherapy. 620 00:28:34,067 --> 00:28:35,867 - sorry. - asshole. 621 00:28:39,233 --> 00:28:41,300 - leon: hey, skinhead! - stop it. I'm not a skinhea! 622 00:28:41,333 --> 00:28:44,567 - leon! No, leon! - ( continue yelling ) 623 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,167 Leon, no! 624 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,867 - leon: motherfucker! - man: stop it! 625 00:28:47,900 --> 00:28:50,367 ( theme music playing ) 50565

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