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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:03,959 --> 00:00:05,709 40 CRUSADERS 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:13,876 SEVEN STORMY DAYS 5 00:00:17,709 --> 00:00:19,459 AN EERIE ISLAND 6 00:00:24,876 --> 00:00:26,001 FULL OF DANGER 7 00:00:29,084 --> 00:00:30,084 AND SECRETS 8 00:00:45,876 --> 00:00:48,292 COMING SOON TO THEATERS 9 00:01:28,876 --> 00:01:31,751 The story so far….… 10 00:01:33,251 --> 00:01:35,626 So there 's this, um, guy 11 00:01:35,792 --> 00:01:37,917 and he has this, um….… 12 00:01:38,084 --> 00:01:40,167 kangaroo move into his apartment… 13 00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:42,584 And this guy 14 00:01:42,834 --> 00:01:44,542 had a crush on his neighbor… 15 00:01:44,792 --> 00:01:47,417 And his neighbor, um, she… …. 16 00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:49,709 Let me do this… 17 00:01:50,459 --> 00:01:51,959 The story so far….… 18 00:01:55,292 --> 00:01:57,209 In 1852, 19 00:01:57,376 --> 00:02:00,334 in the ruins ofAshurbanipal's Library 20 00:02:00,584 --> 00:02:04,584 in Nineveh, a 3, 000-year-old clay tablet was found… 21 00:02:09,209 --> 00:02:14,459 44 years later, A s s y ri o I o g i s t Heinrich Zimmern from Baden 22 00:02:14,626 --> 00:02:17,626 translated the writing on the tablet into German… 23 00:02:17,792 --> 00:02:23,126 On the tablet, the arbiter of wisdom Shaggil-kinam-ubib noted… … … 24 00:02:24,584 --> 00:02:26,459 ..."If you really look, 25 00:02:27,626 --> 00:02:29,542 you see that people are 26 00:02:30,792 --> 00:02:32,834 by and large, stupid." 27 00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,917 That sums things up pretty well… 28 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,834 So, imagine you go to the movies. 29 00:02:42,001 --> 00:02:43,751 The movie starts, but you see nothing 30 00:02:43,917 --> 00:02:46,834 because it's set in a dark restaurant. 31 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,417 - Okay. - And I've already got a title. 32 00:02:49,584 --> 00:02:52,042 - "Blind Date"? - Uh, yeah. 33 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:55,292 You really can't see anything. 34 00:02:55,459 --> 00:02:57,959 Hey, stop! You want me to do that to you? 35 00:02:58,126 --> 00:03:00,042 Ow! My eye! 36 00:03:00,209 --> 00:03:03,334 - I can't see! I'm blind! - Why exactly is the kangaroo here? 37 00:03:03,501 --> 00:03:05,876 - It just came along. - He needs help. 38 00:03:06,042 --> 00:03:07,751 I don't need help! 39 00:03:07,917 --> 00:03:09,667 Well, then go ahead. 40 00:03:10,292 --> 00:03:11,584 So... 41 00:03:14,251 --> 00:03:18,209 It really is funny. You can't see anything at all. 42 00:03:18,376 --> 00:03:21,376 If we can't talk on the first date, it'll be tough. 43 00:03:21,542 --> 00:03:25,334 Isn't that inevitable? Do your parents still talk to each other? 44 00:03:25,501 --> 00:03:27,626 - My dad's dead. - Oh, yeah. Right. 45 00:03:27,792 --> 00:03:28,876 Sorry. 46 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,626 - Bling! - "Bling"? 47 00:03:30,792 --> 00:03:33,126 - I'm counting your blunders. - Not helpful. 48 00:03:33,292 --> 00:03:36,792 All right, one vegan, one vegetarian, and one with everything. 49 00:03:36,959 --> 00:03:38,209 Enjoy your meal. 50 00:03:38,376 --> 00:03:39,959 - Thank you. - Finally. 51 00:03:42,792 --> 00:03:45,501 How's yours? Mine's pretty dry. 52 00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:47,917 Because you're eating the decorations. 53 00:03:48,084 --> 00:03:52,126 How dumb would it be to have decorations in a dark restaurant? 54 00:03:52,292 --> 00:03:55,542 What are you doing? You can't turn on a flashlight in here. 55 00:03:55,709 --> 00:03:58,167 That's not a flashlight. 56 00:03:58,417 --> 00:04:00,584 - That is a flashlight. - Dude! 57 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,542 - What are you doing? - I can't see anything. 58 00:04:04,709 --> 00:04:06,459 That's the point. 59 00:04:06,626 --> 00:04:09,834 - I thought this was a dark restaurant. - Yeah... 60 00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:14,334 I set my mom up on Facebook so she wouldn't be so lonely in Backwood. 61 00:04:14,501 --> 00:04:17,751 But now she's denying climate change. 62 00:04:17,917 --> 00:04:20,167 - My uncle was afraid of chemtrails. - Was? 63 00:04:20,334 --> 00:04:24,292 Yeah, he was always looking up at the sky and got hit by a tram. 64 00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:28,167 - Sorry, of course, that's not funny. - Well, it kind of is. 65 00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:31,501 Anyway, now my mom keeps sending me Adam Krieger videos. 66 00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:35,459 At first I didn't take it seriously, but now we just yell at each other. 67 00:04:35,626 --> 00:04:37,501 - I've got to go. - Tell the waiter. 68 00:04:37,667 --> 00:04:41,042 Nonsense, I have a great sense of direction. 69 00:04:41,751 --> 00:04:43,542 - Hey! - Sorry, wrong direction. 70 00:04:43,709 --> 00:04:46,667 Please sneak out before the next date. 71 00:04:46,834 --> 00:04:48,709 - Sorry. - I tried to do that today. 72 00:04:48,876 --> 00:04:51,334 Whose dog is running free in here? 73 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:54,709 TOILETS 74 00:05:00,626 --> 00:05:03,292 We have about 60 seconds. Time to speed date. 75 00:05:03,459 --> 00:05:06,459 What is your favorite book, film, animal, 76 00:05:06,626 --> 00:05:08,959 color, city, country, river, joke? 77 00:05:09,126 --> 00:05:12,167 "Momo", "The Matrix", pig, black, Paris, Portugal, Spree, 78 00:05:12,334 --> 00:05:15,126 and the joke: how do you recognize a vegan at a party? 79 00:05:15,709 --> 00:05:17,292 She'll tell you. 80 00:05:18,167 --> 00:05:19,792 Now you. 81 00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:22,792 - Can I... - No. 82 00:05:23,001 --> 00:05:25,251 - ...name five each? - No. 83 00:05:31,084 --> 00:05:33,126 WHERE YOU ATE? SPILL DON'T STARE 84 00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:35,876 Why is it red if you're not supposed to push it? 85 00:05:36,126 --> 00:05:37,417 Get out! 86 00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:41,292 - Your table decorations are far too dry! - Don't touch me. 87 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,751 And where's my flashlight? 88 00:05:44,792 --> 00:05:48,792 - Banned! - I'll come again... Uh, be back! 89 00:05:49,042 --> 00:05:51,876 Oh, damn it. Screwed up the quote. 90 00:05:52,709 --> 00:05:54,584 I'm your uncle... 91 00:05:55,709 --> 00:05:58,251 - ...father. - Fly, you clowns... 92 00:05:58,501 --> 00:06:00,042 Um... fools. 93 00:06:00,959 --> 00:06:02,501 I'll relieve the babysitter. 94 00:06:02,751 --> 00:06:05,626 - What? - I can relieve the babysitter. 95 00:06:05,792 --> 00:06:09,542 You can tell me later where else you got kicked out of. 96 00:06:10,167 --> 00:06:13,334 Three is one too few... um... too many. 97 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:15,626 But... 98 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,251 But... 99 00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:21,667 I'll make it up to you. 100 00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:23,417 Please don't. 101 00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:27,501 Don't take it too hard, dude. 102 00:06:27,667 --> 00:06:29,542 Sometimes I get the feeling... 103 00:06:30,542 --> 00:06:32,751 ...that life is a sitcom? 104 00:06:32,917 --> 00:06:34,084 A sitcom? 105 00:06:37,501 --> 00:06:39,251 THE KANGAROO 106 00:06:47,334 --> 00:06:50,417 THREE IS ONE TOO FEW 107 00:06:51,084 --> 00:06:53,459 UM... TOO MANY 108 00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:58,084 "Anna Karenina." 109 00:07:00,126 --> 00:07:02,126 Too pretentious. 110 00:07:02,292 --> 00:07:03,876 How about... 111 00:07:04,042 --> 00:07:06,042 "The Magic Mountain." 112 00:07:15,376 --> 00:07:17,626 Lying in the hammock again? 113 00:07:17,876 --> 00:07:20,209 Nope. Not again. Still. 114 00:07:23,084 --> 00:07:25,834 You haven't even gotten out of your pajamas. 115 00:07:26,001 --> 00:07:29,417 Have you noticed some people seem to have a need 116 00:07:29,584 --> 00:07:31,751 to put the obvious into words? 117 00:07:34,251 --> 00:07:37,751 Which is the better favorite book? "In Search of Lost Time"? 118 00:07:37,917 --> 00:07:39,751 Or "100 Years of Solitude"? 119 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,959 Have you even read them? 120 00:07:45,376 --> 00:07:49,876 I... Well, I have them on my bookshelf. That count? 121 00:07:51,376 --> 00:07:53,876 By the way, I'm not talking to you anymore. 122 00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:57,251 I admit, I wasn't a big help yesterday, 123 00:07:57,417 --> 00:08:01,417 but I bought all the things you like. 124 00:08:01,584 --> 00:08:03,501 Organic eggplant-pomelo soda 125 00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:05,584 licorice wheels, 126 00:08:05,834 --> 00:08:09,209 chips with coriander, and champagne truffles. 127 00:08:11,417 --> 00:08:13,417 I don't like any of it. 128 00:08:14,042 --> 00:08:16,167 Not any of it? 129 00:08:17,626 --> 00:08:19,542 I hate coriander. 130 00:08:23,792 --> 00:08:26,584 No way she wants to go out with me again. 131 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:32,792 You have to show her you'll lay it on the line for her. 132 00:08:32,959 --> 00:08:35,042 And I know how to do that. 133 00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:37,167 Oh, yeah? How then? 134 00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:40,167 We pull her mom out of the rabbit hole. 135 00:08:57,251 --> 00:08:58,751 A bet? 136 00:08:59,417 --> 00:09:03,292 - What kind of a bet? - If we straighten your mom out... 137 00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:08,084 - Get her to stop denying climate change. - ...we go out for dinner again. 138 00:09:09,292 --> 00:09:11,001 - Okay. - In Paris. 139 00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:12,459 In Paris. 140 00:09:12,709 --> 00:09:14,959 - No kangaroo. - Certainly not. 141 00:09:15,126 --> 00:09:17,334 - And you'll pay. - That's not... 142 00:09:17,584 --> 00:09:19,334 - You don't have to... - I'll pay. 143 00:09:20,084 --> 00:09:23,792 - Okay. - And you give me your gaming console. 144 00:09:24,042 --> 00:09:27,834 - That's optional, of course. - Do it, and you'll get the console too. 145 00:09:28,084 --> 00:09:29,126 But, Mom! 146 00:09:29,376 --> 00:09:33,209 Don't worry. Grandma's a tough cookie. They're just wasting their time. 147 00:09:33,459 --> 00:09:36,251 - That wouldn't be new. - No, it wouldn't. 148 00:09:37,167 --> 00:09:40,042 - And what if you lose? - Then... 149 00:09:40,709 --> 00:09:43,459 I'll pay for your dinner. 150 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,251 Nice try, but it'll have to be more. 151 00:09:47,501 --> 00:09:49,209 We don't have anything. 152 00:09:50,959 --> 00:09:54,251 You have a nice big apartment with an old contract. 153 00:09:55,542 --> 00:09:56,834 You mean... 154 00:09:57,376 --> 00:09:59,917 If you lose, then we trade apartments. 155 00:10:00,084 --> 00:10:01,584 Never. 156 00:10:03,542 --> 00:10:05,834 - Agreed. - Are you crazy? Ow! 157 00:10:07,001 --> 00:10:09,417 You said I have to lay it on the line. 158 00:10:11,292 --> 00:10:13,626 It's pretty cramped in here, huh? 159 00:10:16,376 --> 00:10:17,917 We've got this. 160 00:10:21,126 --> 00:10:23,167 What have I done? 161 00:10:23,334 --> 00:10:25,459 You've ruined our lives. 162 00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:27,584 That's what you've done. 163 00:10:27,751 --> 00:10:30,501 - She's cleaning. - Pinch me. 164 00:10:31,459 --> 00:10:33,501 Herta, expecting a special visitor? 165 00:10:33,751 --> 00:10:36,792 Haven't you heard? Joe is coming back. 166 00:10:38,834 --> 00:10:40,709 Joe who? Our Joe? 167 00:10:40,876 --> 00:10:43,751 - Mighty Joe, the Steppenwolf? - Yes, he's out of prison. 168 00:10:44,584 --> 00:10:47,959 - Does Maria already know? - No, it's a surprise. 169 00:10:48,209 --> 00:10:50,084 Who in the hell is Joe? 170 00:10:51,501 --> 00:10:53,626 Maria's ex. 171 00:10:53,792 --> 00:10:58,584 Last I saw him, he carried my washing machine up to the fourth floor. 172 00:10:58,751 --> 00:10:59,917 Alone. 173 00:11:03,334 --> 00:11:04,584 Hey, Maria. 174 00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:06,834 Hey? 175 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,709 My mother just invited me to an event in Köpenick. 176 00:11:11,584 --> 00:11:13,626 It'd be a good chance to meet her. 177 00:11:13,792 --> 00:11:15,209 THE CLIMATE CONSIPRACY 178 00:11:18,001 --> 00:11:19,001 Have fun. 179 00:11:20,751 --> 00:11:23,417 You're really going to go on bikes? 180 00:11:23,584 --> 00:11:25,626 I can lend you our van. 181 00:11:28,251 --> 00:11:32,501 No. We can hardly talk of protecting the environment and drive up in that. 182 00:11:32,751 --> 00:11:34,667 - That's right. - Well... 183 00:11:34,917 --> 00:11:37,334 my bike is broken, but... 184 00:11:38,126 --> 00:11:40,251 I can lend you that. 185 00:11:41,084 --> 00:11:43,667 - It's Jesus' old trailer. - I call it St. Peter. 186 00:11:46,167 --> 00:11:48,459 - You pedal. - No. 187 00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:54,709 We'll decide that in the manner passed down to us from our ancestors. 188 00:11:56,417 --> 00:11:57,834 So be it. 189 00:11:59,334 --> 00:12:02,251 Hey, bro, five on the kangaroo. 190 00:12:11,542 --> 00:12:13,542 But no well. 191 00:12:13,709 --> 00:12:15,417 No well. 192 00:12:15,959 --> 00:12:18,209 Rock, paper, 193 00:12:18,459 --> 00:12:20,334 scissors. 194 00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:27,542 - He always does paper. Always paper! - Why? 195 00:12:27,792 --> 00:12:30,876 Because I always think the kangaroo will go for the well. 196 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:32,959 Yallah… 197 00:12:34,001 --> 00:12:36,167 It's not a game of chance. 198 00:12:43,126 --> 00:12:44,709 Here you go. 199 00:12:47,292 --> 00:12:49,542 - You shit! - Thanks! 200 00:12:49,709 --> 00:12:51,126 That was my ice cream! 201 00:12:55,376 --> 00:12:57,542 Come on! Go! Faster! 202 00:12:57,792 --> 00:13:00,251 - Faster! Faster! - Faster, you lazy dog! 203 00:13:00,501 --> 00:13:02,834 Faster! Faster! Go, faster! 204 00:13:08,959 --> 00:13:10,542 Hey! 205 00:13:10,709 --> 00:13:12,459 Stop there! 206 00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:15,542 Stop! 207 00:13:17,376 --> 00:13:20,334 - Have you ever met Maria's mom? - Nope. 208 00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:23,626 How are we going to know which of the crazies... 209 00:13:23,792 --> 00:13:25,126 Hey! 210 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,334 An established artist. 211 00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:34,334 Hitler, or who? 212 00:13:35,251 --> 00:13:37,834 I'm not Hitler. I'm the Captain of Köpenick. 213 00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:40,501 Well, you look like Hitler. 214 00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:42,917 You look like Hitler. 215 00:13:47,084 --> 00:13:48,959 Seriously, dude? 216 00:13:49,834 --> 00:13:52,042 Any Reich citizens among you? 217 00:13:52,209 --> 00:13:54,709 Here, you can take a picture with Hitler. 218 00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,376 Help! Help! 219 00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:24,959 Help! 220 00:14:25,709 --> 00:14:27,334 Come here! 221 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,709 KÖPENICK CITIZENS' MEETING 222 00:14:37,876 --> 00:14:39,792 IMPENDING ECO-DICTATORSHIP? 223 00:14:39,959 --> 00:14:42,667 We shouldn't take a confrontational approach. 224 00:14:42,834 --> 00:14:45,584 - Like you did just now? - Or she'll shut down. 225 00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:49,001 - So we'll use the Socratic method? - That's right. 226 00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:51,667 Calmly and kindly questioning. 227 00:14:55,542 --> 00:14:57,042 All righty. 228 00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:05,001 Like me, many of you learned of the climate conspiracy via Adam Krieger. 229 00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:08,501 - Krieger fights for the truth. - Stay vigilant! 230 00:15:08,751 --> 00:15:11,376 He says the climate scare is a pretense 231 00:15:11,626 --> 00:15:14,042 to raise taxes and pass new laws. 232 00:15:14,292 --> 00:15:16,876 They want to tell us how to live. 233 00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,542 WHAT DOES YOUR MOTHER LOOK LIKE? 234 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:21,751 They want to deindustrialize Germany. 235 00:15:22,001 --> 00:15:24,042 That's right! 236 00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:26,459 - Did you get that? - Bravo! 237 00:15:29,292 --> 00:15:30,292 Yes? 238 00:15:30,542 --> 00:15:33,001 The desire to be unique, a loss of control, 239 00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:34,584 or just boredom? 240 00:15:34,751 --> 00:15:36,584 - What was it for you? - What do you mean? 241 00:15:36,834 --> 00:15:40,334 Why you fall for conspiracy theories. 242 00:15:40,584 --> 00:15:44,042 The CIA invented "conspiracy theory" as a battle cry 243 00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:47,334 to discredit people who think differently. 244 00:15:49,126 --> 00:15:50,751 Oh, crapola. 245 00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:53,042 We don't want you here! 246 00:15:53,209 --> 00:15:56,959 - That's right! - We don't want your eco-fascism! 247 00:15:57,209 --> 00:15:59,417 You're the friends of fascism. 248 00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:02,042 - Calmly and kindly questioning? - Back off. 249 00:16:02,292 --> 00:16:05,626 Not even scientists agree climate change exists. 250 00:16:05,792 --> 00:16:08,501 Hogwash! That's just conspiracy bullshit. 251 00:16:08,751 --> 00:16:12,001 A study analyzed more than 50,000 scientific articles 252 00:16:12,167 --> 00:16:16,376 and 99.94 percent say humans are the main drivers of climate change. 253 00:16:16,626 --> 00:16:18,751 My experience says otherwise. 254 00:16:19,001 --> 00:16:20,834 What? Your perceived reality? 255 00:16:21,084 --> 00:16:23,417 - Get lost, you sheeple! - Baa! 256 00:16:23,959 --> 00:16:25,209 Baa to you! 257 00:16:25,459 --> 00:16:28,667 Do you work for fake news? Or are you paid rabble-rousers? 258 00:16:29,417 --> 00:16:31,876 My dear Ms. Schlabotnik, 259 00:16:32,042 --> 00:16:34,417 I get what you mean, kind of. 260 00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:38,126 Conspiracies are fascinating. I used to watch "The X-Files." 261 00:16:39,126 --> 00:16:42,709 But why do you absolutely have to think one up? 262 00:16:42,959 --> 00:16:44,584 There are enough real conspiracies. 263 00:16:44,751 --> 00:16:48,584 Watergate, Prism, LIBOR, Panama Papers, Dieselgate, FIFA! 264 00:16:48,751 --> 00:16:53,501 Back in 1982, Exxon Mobile had a study into climate change conducted 265 00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:58,542 and, sadly, it concluded that CO2 heats up the Earth. 266 00:16:58,709 --> 00:17:01,417 - Tough break. - But they did nothing. 267 00:17:01,667 --> 00:17:04,584 Except start a huge disinformation campaign. 268 00:17:04,751 --> 00:17:07,709 You're the ones who've fallen prey to a conspiracy. 269 00:17:07,876 --> 00:17:12,042 You are actually the brainwashed sheeple. 270 00:17:14,042 --> 00:17:16,167 Get lost, you clowns! 271 00:17:16,334 --> 00:17:19,084 Get lost! Get lost! Get lost! 272 00:17:19,334 --> 00:17:22,667 Get lost! Get lost! Get lost! Get lost! 273 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,917 The lady with the eggs. 274 00:17:41,209 --> 00:17:42,584 Yes? 275 00:17:42,751 --> 00:17:45,917 You failed to mention your mom was the one speaking. 276 00:17:46,709 --> 00:17:48,542 Oops! Sorry. 277 00:17:49,417 --> 00:17:51,084 Go ring. 278 00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:55,751 Yes, she even has her own YouTube channel. 279 00:17:55,917 --> 00:17:57,917 I'm Lisbeth Schlabotnik.… … 280 00:17:58,084 --> 00:18:00,876 The movers are here! I've got to run. 281 00:18:02,542 --> 00:18:07,584 Didyou know that 55 million years ago the Earth experienced a hotphase? 282 00:18:07,751 --> 00:18:12,042 Now try and tellme my diesel is responsible for that too… 283 00:18:15,876 --> 00:18:19,917 - Come on, let's go home. - You crazy? If we go, we won't have one. 284 00:18:21,126 --> 00:18:23,126 That woman's a hopeless case. 285 00:18:23,376 --> 00:18:26,417 Rock Paper Scissors? If I win, we wait for her. 286 00:18:26,584 --> 00:18:30,376 - If you win then... - ...we sleep in a bunk bed from now on. 287 00:18:30,626 --> 00:18:34,626 - Or you get on your knees and beg Maria. - Forget it. Never. 288 00:18:35,792 --> 00:18:37,334 Let's rock it. 289 00:18:39,917 --> 00:18:41,709 I thought up new rules. 290 00:18:42,292 --> 00:18:43,501 What? 291 00:18:43,751 --> 00:18:46,834 Pick whatever sign we want and then discuss who won. 292 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,542 - Sounds totally idiotic. - You in? 293 00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:51,792 Of course. 294 00:18:52,042 --> 00:18:54,251 I call it Rock Paper Whatever. 295 00:18:56,126 --> 00:18:57,751 Rock Paper Whatever. 296 00:18:57,917 --> 00:19:03,084 Sounds like a music magazine that doesn't give a shit. 297 00:19:04,251 --> 00:19:06,584 Maybe Rock Paper Wizzard? 298 00:19:07,251 --> 00:19:11,834 Sounds like "Pen & Paper" from Stranger Things. 299 00:19:13,292 --> 00:19:14,917 Rock Paper Blizzard? 300 00:19:15,959 --> 00:19:17,251 Better. 301 00:19:27,001 --> 00:19:28,792 Rock, 302 00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:30,751 paper, 303 00:19:31,001 --> 00:19:32,876 blizzard! 304 00:19:40,959 --> 00:19:43,542 - What's that supposed to be? - Chainsaw. Yours? 305 00:19:44,084 --> 00:19:45,751 I, um... 306 00:19:46,959 --> 00:19:48,959 A giraffe. 307 00:19:49,126 --> 00:19:51,376 A giraffe versus a chainsaw? 308 00:19:51,542 --> 00:19:54,167 We don't even have to discuss, do we? 309 00:19:55,126 --> 00:19:56,292 No. 310 00:19:58,751 --> 00:20:03,792 If I many ask, what did you expect to beat with a giraffe? 311 00:20:03,959 --> 00:20:06,209 A leaf that grows high up. 312 00:20:06,376 --> 00:20:09,501 Why in the hell would I do a leaf that grows high up? 313 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,209 What would that have beat? 314 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:16,292 Um... an animal without a long neck. I was under major time pressure. 315 00:20:16,459 --> 00:20:18,959 Granted, a giraffe wasn't the best option. 316 00:20:19,209 --> 00:20:23,751 - We got really great footage. - We can send it to you for YouTube. 317 00:20:23,917 --> 00:20:27,292 - We're really big fans of Diesel Liesel. - I'm glad. 318 00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:29,834 Come on, this way. Shortcut. 319 00:20:30,084 --> 00:20:31,834 Would you give us an autograph? 320 00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:33,626 Of course. 321 00:20:33,792 --> 00:20:35,292 May I? 322 00:20:37,209 --> 00:20:39,084 Tina and I, we met on 323 00:20:39,334 --> 00:20:41,584 lovetruth.info. 324 00:20:44,084 --> 00:20:48,834 Every23 minutes a contrarian falls in love on lovetruth.info… 325 00:20:49,001 --> 00:20:52,292 Create a profile and click everything you believe in… 326 00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:54,584 AREA 51, CHEMTRAILS, REPTILIANS... 327 00:20:54,834 --> 00:20:56,959 Only the two of us clicked every conspiracy. 328 00:20:58,584 --> 00:20:59,667 Chemtrails! 329 00:21:01,167 --> 00:21:03,126 You are not alone. 330 00:21:03,376 --> 00:21:05,917 Find someone who loves the truth as much as you… 331 00:21:07,876 --> 00:21:10,292 I met my Eva here too. 332 00:21:11,126 --> 00:21:15,126 I'm Adam Krieger and I recommend lovetruth.info. 333 00:21:15,292 --> 00:21:17,584 Don't let them shut you up. 334 00:21:17,751 --> 00:21:19,334 Stay vigilant. 335 00:21:19,501 --> 00:21:21,417 What do you think of chemtrails? 336 00:21:22,292 --> 00:21:23,584 What? 337 00:21:23,751 --> 00:21:26,917 The "condensed vapor trails" behind planes 338 00:21:27,084 --> 00:21:28,876 that are actually harmful chemicals. 339 00:21:29,042 --> 00:21:32,501 - Never heard of them. - They reduce the fertility of Germans. 340 00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:35,251 And/or contaminate soil with aluminum compounds. 341 00:21:35,417 --> 00:21:39,709 - They're for population control. - And/or thought control via nanobots. 342 00:21:39,876 --> 00:21:42,751 Those who believe in nanobot mind control 343 00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:45,209 should probably see it as a chance. 344 00:21:45,917 --> 00:21:48,834 - What do you clowns want now? - Piss off. 345 00:21:49,459 --> 00:21:53,001 Around the corner there, I saw Adam Krieger. 346 00:21:53,167 --> 00:21:54,834 Yes, I think it was him. 347 00:21:55,084 --> 00:21:57,792 He just found the entrance to the Hollow Earth. 348 00:21:58,042 --> 00:21:59,084 What? 349 00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:02,292 See you at the CoCon, and/or someplace else. 350 00:22:04,917 --> 00:22:08,792 Ms. Schlabotnik, we had a rough start. Can we start over? 351 00:22:09,042 --> 00:22:10,792 No. 352 00:22:10,959 --> 00:22:12,751 We're friends of Maria's. 353 00:22:14,876 --> 00:22:17,459 - Are you her new fella? - I... Well... 354 00:22:19,209 --> 00:22:20,292 Sad. 355 00:22:21,084 --> 00:22:23,376 Oh well, no one can hold a candle to Joe. 356 00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:27,001 What if we invited you to eat? 357 00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:30,292 And as a peace offering: 358 00:22:30,459 --> 00:22:32,667 the categorical aperitif. 359 00:22:34,251 --> 00:22:36,001 Chop-chop, let it drop! 360 00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:42,501 CATEGORICAL APERITIF 361 00:22:42,667 --> 00:22:45,042 I'll have 13 and 72, please. 362 00:22:45,292 --> 00:22:47,542 - You didn't even look. - I pick at random. 363 00:22:47,709 --> 00:22:50,501 - Keeps life exciting. - I'll have the same. 364 00:22:50,751 --> 00:22:52,667 And I'll take... 365 00:22:52,917 --> 00:22:55,792 12 and 61, but without Koreans... 366 00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:58,126 I mean coriander. 367 00:22:59,001 --> 00:23:00,876 Nothing here is Korean. 368 00:23:01,126 --> 00:23:03,584 - Coriander, please. - We're Chinese. 369 00:23:04,709 --> 00:23:06,501 Oh, God. How embarrassing. 370 00:23:06,667 --> 00:23:08,876 A very interesting Freudian slip. 371 00:23:09,126 --> 00:23:10,917 - Oh, yeah? - Yes. 372 00:23:11,167 --> 00:23:13,751 You Germans want the perks of multiculturalism, 373 00:23:13,917 --> 00:23:17,751 the services immigrants provide, but not the immigrants. 374 00:23:17,917 --> 00:23:20,709 You actually do want 61 without Koreans. 375 00:23:20,959 --> 00:23:25,292 - Don't exaggerate. - "The deindustrialization of Germany"? 376 00:23:25,542 --> 00:23:26,751 - Really? - You'll see. 377 00:23:27,001 --> 00:23:29,001 Why doesn't the press report on that? 378 00:23:29,251 --> 00:23:32,542 - All bought up. - And us, or Maria? Were we bought up? 379 00:23:32,709 --> 00:23:35,084 You eat up what the lying press feeds you. 380 00:23:35,334 --> 00:23:39,292 You reject every argument that doesn't suit you. 381 00:23:39,459 --> 00:23:40,959 Everyone does that. 382 00:23:41,126 --> 00:23:43,376 I'm a conspirator if I disagree with you? 383 00:23:43,626 --> 00:23:45,042 Or a puppet. 384 00:23:45,292 --> 00:23:48,167 You're puppets who've stopped questioning things. 385 00:23:48,334 --> 00:23:50,334 You believe what "Time" writes. 386 00:23:50,584 --> 00:23:53,126 And you believe your Facebook timeline. 387 00:23:55,209 --> 00:23:57,334 The way you defend your climate lie claims 388 00:23:57,501 --> 00:23:59,084 can be used to defend any old rot. 389 00:23:59,584 --> 00:24:02,751 - With exactly the same phrases. - Not true. 390 00:24:03,001 --> 00:24:05,417 Okay, think of a totally crazy theory 391 00:24:05,667 --> 00:24:08,709 that's so out there not even you believe it. 392 00:24:09,501 --> 00:24:11,001 All right. 393 00:24:13,876 --> 00:24:15,917 Earth is a cube. 394 00:24:17,251 --> 00:24:20,501 - A cube-Earth theory. - Fine. 395 00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:22,667 The Earth is obviously cubed. 396 00:24:22,834 --> 00:24:25,292 Why else do all maps have four corners? 397 00:24:25,459 --> 00:24:28,167 - Why isn't that in the press? - All bought up. 398 00:24:28,417 --> 00:24:29,917 Am I bought up too? 399 00:24:30,167 --> 00:24:33,167 You eat up what the lying press feeds you. 400 00:24:33,417 --> 00:24:38,709 How else do you explain big waterfalls? They're all on the Earth's edges. 401 00:24:38,959 --> 00:24:41,001 Why does it look round from space? 402 00:24:41,251 --> 00:24:42,959 Because... 403 00:24:43,126 --> 00:24:47,584 the CIA forces every single astronaut to use 404 00:24:47,834 --> 00:24:49,667 a special wide-angle lens. 405 00:24:49,834 --> 00:24:53,334 Hundreds of thousands of people vanish every year. Where to? 406 00:24:53,584 --> 00:24:56,501 They get "offed." 407 00:24:56,751 --> 00:24:59,417 - Will I fall off if I walk over an edge? - Not quite. 408 00:24:59,584 --> 00:25:04,001 They're usually slightly rounded, so they're not that easy to see. 409 00:25:04,167 --> 00:25:09,459 But 99.94 percent of scientific journals say the world is round. 410 00:25:09,626 --> 00:25:11,792 My experience says otherwise. 411 00:25:12,042 --> 00:25:16,209 See? Does that type of "argumentation" sound familiar? 412 00:25:16,459 --> 00:25:19,834 My sports teacher would've said, "You catch that?" 413 00:25:21,459 --> 00:25:24,209 I'm not going to be screwed with like this. 414 00:25:28,542 --> 00:25:30,042 Wackos. 415 00:25:30,709 --> 00:25:32,917 There goes my gaming console. 416 00:25:38,417 --> 00:25:41,417 Did you hear that? Earth is a cube. 417 00:25:41,584 --> 00:25:42,667 Yeah. 418 00:25:42,834 --> 00:25:45,167 And I thought it was flat. 419 00:25:56,751 --> 00:25:59,584 We'd like to take the bike on the bus. 420 00:26:00,459 --> 00:26:02,334 How do imagine that working? 421 00:26:02,584 --> 00:26:05,334 Well, I'd just carry it through the door. 422 00:26:08,084 --> 00:26:10,042 - This is a bus. - True. 423 00:26:10,209 --> 00:26:14,751 - Right. - But it is a rail replacement service. 424 00:26:14,917 --> 00:26:17,917 Therefore, this is not a bus, it's a city train. 425 00:26:19,876 --> 00:26:23,459 Are you shitting me? Of course, this is a bus. 426 00:26:23,709 --> 00:26:26,709 No one is going to tell me this isn't a bus. 427 00:26:26,959 --> 00:26:28,917 It's a bus all right. 428 00:26:29,167 --> 00:26:31,292 I've driven bus my entire life. 429 00:26:31,542 --> 00:26:34,042 I can tell a bus when I see one. 430 00:26:34,542 --> 00:26:38,001 And I can take my bike with me on a city train. 431 00:26:42,251 --> 00:26:44,042 But not in the first car. 432 00:26:45,501 --> 00:26:48,709 All right, then I'll just ride it. 433 00:26:59,001 --> 00:27:02,042 - Hold this a sec. - Now chop-chop! 434 00:27:08,042 --> 00:27:11,959 The other passengers don't have time to waste either. 435 00:27:16,376 --> 00:27:19,542 No one's going to tell me this isn't a bus! 436 00:27:20,167 --> 00:27:22,001 It's a bus all right! 437 00:27:22,251 --> 00:27:25,501 I can tell what's a bus and what's not. 438 00:27:28,542 --> 00:27:30,501 Hey, what the hell, man? 439 00:27:32,126 --> 00:27:34,876 He doesn't quite understand his job. 440 00:27:35,042 --> 00:27:37,042 We can make him stop. 441 00:27:48,542 --> 00:27:50,876 Someone betterget offhere. 442 00:27:53,376 --> 00:27:55,084 Who was that? 443 00:27:58,209 --> 00:28:01,167 Either one ofyou gets out orboth ofyou do… 444 00:28:04,751 --> 00:28:08,251 - Rock Paper Blizzard? - Do I have to come back there? 445 00:28:10,001 --> 00:28:12,459 - Rock... - I was going to call the fire service. 446 00:28:12,626 --> 00:28:16,626 But then Joe clambered up the tree and saved the cat. 447 00:28:16,876 --> 00:28:19,584 Then there's the story with the pig. 448 00:28:19,834 --> 00:28:21,542 Joe took a pig to work, 449 00:28:21,709 --> 00:28:24,209 and his boss goes, "What's the pig doing here?" 450 00:28:24,376 --> 00:28:28,167 Joe says, "How should I know why you came in today?" 451 00:28:29,209 --> 00:28:32,959 - Unbelievable he was in prison so long. - Talking about Joe again? 452 00:28:33,126 --> 00:28:34,751 Still. 453 00:28:34,917 --> 00:28:36,959 Oh, if I were a bit younger... 454 00:28:50,584 --> 00:28:51,959 Joe. 455 00:28:52,209 --> 00:28:54,334 People, nice to see you! 456 00:28:54,584 --> 00:28:56,626 Come closer, settle in 457 00:28:56,876 --> 00:28:59,167 Hands on your head, and then spin 458 00:28:59,334 --> 00:29:01,209 Unscrew and remove your brain 459 00:29:01,459 --> 00:29:03,876 Get crazy, people, champagne and treats 460 00:29:04,042 --> 00:29:08,126 Let's outwit logic to the beat Throw confetti and walk on tables 461 00:29:08,376 --> 00:29:10,376 And eat our brains with fishes 462 00:29:10,626 --> 00:29:13,376 I mean, logic is sick overrated 463 00:29:13,626 --> 00:29:16,876 - I say, "One plus one plus one is six!" - That's wrong! 464 00:29:17,584 --> 00:29:19,959 They finally let you out, you rascal! 465 00:29:25,459 --> 00:29:26,459 Well? 466 00:29:27,709 --> 00:29:31,251 Why you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler. 467 00:29:33,626 --> 00:29:36,126 You've got a lot of guts coming here 468 00:29:36,292 --> 00:29:38,917 after all the crap you pulled. 469 00:30:06,334 --> 00:30:08,626 Listen up, next round's on me! 470 00:30:08,792 --> 00:30:12,001 Breathe in, breathe out Tonight we let it allhang out 471 00:30:12,251 --> 00:30:14,501 Tonight we're storming your front lots 472 00:30:14,667 --> 00:30:16,834 Gonna dig'em up With diggers and what-not 473 00:30:59,459 --> 00:31:02,209 ...you have shrimp in your beard. And Joe said... 474 00:31:02,376 --> 00:31:07,001 - You've got jellyfish on your pants. - "You've got jellyfish on your pants!" 475 00:31:08,251 --> 00:31:10,084 - To Joe! - Cheers. 476 00:31:10,251 --> 00:31:13,292 - You're a swell guy. - Yeah, a real swell guy. 477 00:31:13,459 --> 00:31:17,209 Gets arrested and leaves his wife and kid in the lurch. 478 00:31:22,667 --> 00:31:23,834 What? 479 00:31:24,084 --> 00:31:26,542 He was in prison for fighting for human rights. 480 00:31:26,792 --> 00:31:29,501 Are you attacking him for working for Amnesty? 481 00:31:29,667 --> 00:31:34,209 He tried to help North Korean dissidents across the demilitarized zone. 482 00:31:35,042 --> 00:31:36,417 Of course. 483 00:31:36,584 --> 00:31:38,084 North Korea. 484 00:31:38,626 --> 00:31:41,626 And I drilled wells in Africa. 485 00:31:43,834 --> 00:31:48,709 Were you as tall as you are stupid, you could drink out of the eaves kneeling. 486 00:31:52,042 --> 00:31:53,209 You... 487 00:31:53,376 --> 00:31:55,209 really were in North Korea? 488 00:31:55,459 --> 00:31:56,876 Bling. 489 00:32:25,209 --> 00:32:26,751 Go. 490 00:32:26,917 --> 00:32:28,292 You're free. 491 00:32:39,209 --> 00:32:42,084 It's all right. You couldn't have known. 492 00:32:43,792 --> 00:32:45,959 Know what they say in Korea? 493 00:32:46,126 --> 00:32:49,334 Even monkeys fall from trees. 494 00:32:52,917 --> 00:32:54,459 Here, look. 495 00:32:57,417 --> 00:32:59,209 I carved this in prison. 496 00:32:59,834 --> 00:33:01,709 From a wooden spoon. 497 00:33:01,876 --> 00:33:03,334 For Maria? 498 00:33:03,501 --> 00:33:06,751 Thinking of her was what kept me alive. 499 00:33:06,917 --> 00:33:09,334 But I don't want to overwhelm her. 500 00:33:09,501 --> 00:33:11,959 No... I wouldn't do that either. 501 00:33:12,126 --> 00:33:16,667 She didn't want me to go to Pyongyang. She might still be mad at me. 502 00:33:16,834 --> 00:33:19,376 She's very mad, extremely mad. 503 00:33:19,542 --> 00:33:22,126 - Maybe I should give it more time. - Much more. 504 00:33:22,292 --> 00:33:24,709 I don't want it to be slapdash. 505 00:33:24,876 --> 00:33:28,126 - Whatever that means. - That's how you end up with kids. 506 00:33:29,501 --> 00:33:31,626 I'll ask her on her birthday. 507 00:33:34,251 --> 00:33:36,042 WESTERNERS 508 00:33:36,209 --> 00:33:37,792 EASTERNERS 509 00:33:39,417 --> 00:33:41,667 - Watch where you... - Time's running out. 510 00:33:41,834 --> 00:33:45,001 - What? Time? - Is our bet still on? 511 00:33:45,251 --> 00:33:47,876 Yes, I've got the moving boxes ready. 512 00:33:48,126 --> 00:33:49,792 We're Liesel's best friends. 513 00:33:49,959 --> 00:33:53,834 - Easy. She has no others. - We visit her in Backwood tomorrow. 514 00:33:54,001 --> 00:33:56,126 Hey, I've got to get back to the hotel. 515 00:33:56,292 --> 00:33:58,501 I've got to call Greta. 516 00:33:58,667 --> 00:34:01,376 Why to the hotel? Joe can sleep at our place. 517 00:34:01,626 --> 00:34:05,751 But where? I mean, in the hall we can maybe just... 518 00:34:06,501 --> 00:34:09,584 Oh, no. I don't want to impose on anyone. 519 00:34:11,126 --> 00:34:15,459 - Joe can sleep at our place. - Yes! Our place can sleep at Joe's. 520 00:34:16,126 --> 00:34:17,626 No harm done. 521 00:34:20,917 --> 00:34:23,251 The little nose goes on the pancake face… 522 00:34:23,501 --> 00:34:25,792 Put some powdered sugar on it... 523 00:34:30,126 --> 00:34:32,292 Howdy, doody, partner! 524 00:34:33,001 --> 00:34:34,292 Good morning. 525 00:34:34,542 --> 00:34:38,584 I woke up early and so I decided to clean the kitchen. 526 00:34:38,751 --> 00:34:42,001 Made some breakfast too. Hope I didn't wake you. 527 00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:47,751 Do you need anything? Got everything you need? 528 00:34:55,709 --> 00:34:56,917 Fuck. 529 00:35:04,084 --> 00:35:05,584 Ah, there we go. 530 00:35:09,001 --> 00:35:11,001 Dig in and enjoy. 531 00:35:13,251 --> 00:35:16,042 I'm going to the hardware store. Need anything? 532 00:35:16,292 --> 00:35:18,292 - Never from the hardware store. - Okay. 533 00:35:18,542 --> 00:35:20,501 A pool table. 534 00:35:20,667 --> 00:35:21,917 Cool. Bye. 535 00:35:22,167 --> 00:35:23,834 Bye. Bye. 536 00:35:32,501 --> 00:35:34,084 Off to Backwood. 537 00:35:35,876 --> 00:35:40,334 Dearpassengers, for reasons not entirely clear to me 538 00:35:40,501 --> 00:35:44,834 the train forplatform 21 is arriving atplatform 22 539 00:35:45,001 --> 00:35:46,709 and vice versa… 540 00:35:50,584 --> 00:35:52,334 I wasjustjoking… 541 00:35:52,959 --> 00:35:55,584 - He's a real jokester. - Seriously! 542 00:35:55,751 --> 00:36:00,209 Due to a personalinjury, today is topsy-turvy day 543 00:36:00,376 --> 00:36:03,292 sojust get on a train and see where you end up… 544 00:36:03,459 --> 00:36:06,126 What's going on here? Terrorist attack? 545 00:36:06,376 --> 00:36:08,667 What is your major malfunction? 546 00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:12,167 Stand at attention when an... officer is present. 547 00:36:13,042 --> 00:36:14,667 Yes, sir. 548 00:36:15,876 --> 00:36:17,334 Yes... 549 00:36:17,584 --> 00:36:18,792 sir... 550 00:36:19,876 --> 00:36:21,126 Captain. 551 00:36:21,667 --> 00:36:23,959 - Yes, sir, Captain. - Name? 552 00:36:24,209 --> 00:36:25,209 Krapotke. 553 00:36:26,501 --> 00:36:28,792 "Krapotke, Captain." 554 00:36:29,042 --> 00:36:30,209 Krapotke, Captain. 555 00:36:31,001 --> 00:36:32,417 What is it, Krapotke? 556 00:36:32,917 --> 00:36:36,917 - Terrorist attack, Captain? - Speak in complete sentences! 557 00:36:37,084 --> 00:36:39,417 "Terrorist attack." How about a verb? 558 00:36:42,667 --> 00:36:45,084 Was here a terrorist attack, Captain? 559 00:36:46,626 --> 00:36:48,501 Was, Krapotke. 560 00:36:48,667 --> 00:36:50,167 Yes, was. 561 00:36:50,334 --> 00:36:53,876 It was a so-called "suicide bomber," 562 00:36:54,126 --> 00:36:56,251 someone who blew my nerves to bits. 563 00:36:56,417 --> 00:36:58,584 These world-weary types, Krapotke. 564 00:36:58,751 --> 00:37:00,834 They could jump off the Reichstag screaming, 565 00:37:01,001 --> 00:37:03,751 "The system is rotten!" But no. 566 00:37:04,001 --> 00:37:06,084 - It must be a train. - Wrong, Krapotke. 567 00:37:06,334 --> 00:37:08,876 Not a train, my train. 568 00:37:09,042 --> 00:37:11,292 Where is it you're going, Krapotke? 569 00:37:11,542 --> 00:37:13,709 - A conference. - Complete sentences! 570 00:37:13,876 --> 00:37:16,542 - I'm going to a conference! - What conference? 571 00:37:17,084 --> 00:37:20,376 In Wannsee, Captain, on the future of the army. 572 00:37:20,542 --> 00:37:24,126 Holding a military conference in Wannsee is insensitive, 573 00:37:24,292 --> 00:37:26,209 don't you agree, Krapotke? 574 00:37:30,292 --> 00:37:32,084 Because of the tourists? 575 00:37:36,459 --> 00:37:38,042 Forgetting history. 576 00:37:38,292 --> 00:37:40,209 But if we hadn't forgotten history 577 00:37:40,459 --> 00:37:44,376 who of us would still be wearing a uniform today, Krapotke? 578 00:37:45,042 --> 00:37:49,376 I thought the captain was traveling to the conference too. 579 00:37:49,626 --> 00:37:51,709 You, Krapotke, aren't to think. 580 00:37:51,876 --> 00:37:56,376 Come along instead. The conference has been moved to Backwood. 581 00:37:56,542 --> 00:37:59,042 - Backwood? But... - Get in! 582 00:37:59,292 --> 00:38:01,042 Yes, Captain! 583 00:38:02,542 --> 00:38:06,584 - What's the point of this? - I've got a feeling he could be useful. 584 00:38:06,751 --> 00:38:10,251 - A feeling? From where? - I read the script. 585 00:38:10,417 --> 00:38:12,667 TRUTH, FACTS, STAY VIGILANT 586 00:38:16,626 --> 00:38:19,792 You know "human-induced" global warming 587 00:38:20,042 --> 00:38:21,751 is a huge con. 588 00:38:21,917 --> 00:38:25,126 Lisbeth Schlabotnik tells it straight. Listen. 589 00:38:25,292 --> 00:38:28,251 There was a hotperiod in the Paleocene too… 590 00:38:28,417 --> 00:38:32,667 Now try and tellme my diesel is responsible for that too… 591 00:38:32,917 --> 00:38:35,042 But they don't want us to hear that. 592 00:38:35,292 --> 00:38:40,417 Only yesterday one of Lisbeth's events was interrupted by paid rabble-rousers. 593 00:38:40,667 --> 00:38:44,542 Luckily reporters from "White Russian Today" filmed everything. 594 00:38:44,792 --> 00:38:47,334 Not even scientists agree climate change exists… 595 00:38:47,501 --> 00:38:49,626 That'sjust conspiracy bullshit… 596 00:38:49,876 --> 00:38:53,501 That's the level at which our opponents argue. 597 00:38:53,667 --> 00:38:58,084 But could it potentially, possibly, perhaps, 598 00:38:58,251 --> 00:39:01,667 be that this kangaroo is paid to say such things? 599 00:39:02,334 --> 00:39:04,376 Who's stuffing dollars in his pouch? 600 00:39:04,542 --> 00:39:07,167 Merkel? Soros? Gore? Gates? 601 00:39:07,417 --> 00:39:09,667 Contact me if you have leads. 602 00:39:10,376 --> 00:39:12,501 We'll get to the bottom of it by CoCon. 603 00:39:12,667 --> 00:39:17,959 Apropos, the Conspiracy Convention is the world's largest annual convention 604 00:39:18,126 --> 00:39:20,876 for contrarians and soldiers of truth. 605 00:39:21,126 --> 00:39:24,626 And this year, CoCon is taking place in Bielefeld. 606 00:39:25,126 --> 00:39:28,584 That caused some rifts within the scene. 607 00:39:29,751 --> 00:39:32,251 Even Krieger's lying… CoCon is fake… 608 00:39:32,417 --> 00:39:38,376 What is Bielefeld ifnot a city built to keep secret that it doesn 't exist? 609 00:39:38,542 --> 00:39:40,959 What is it actually about? Zombies! 610 00:39:41,126 --> 00:39:42,126 Zombies… 611 00:39:44,292 --> 00:39:48,751 The Bielefeld conspiracy is a hoax. Don't fall for such nonsense. 612 00:39:49,001 --> 00:39:51,459 You can get CoCon tickets on my webshop… 613 00:39:51,626 --> 00:39:54,792 See you at CoCon. Stay vigilant… 614 00:39:54,959 --> 00:39:56,834 Every industry has a fair. 615 00:39:57,001 --> 00:39:59,209 Yeah, even bullshit manufacturing. 616 00:39:59,376 --> 00:40:01,126 Nuts, Captain? 617 00:40:04,042 --> 00:40:06,626 And where's the coffee, Krapotke? 618 00:40:06,792 --> 00:40:08,376 Yes, coffee. 619 00:40:09,959 --> 00:40:13,251 - Adam Krieger. That's not a real name. - No. 620 00:40:14,251 --> 00:40:17,292 Did you know his real name's S. Martazz? 621 00:40:17,459 --> 00:40:19,542 - Really? - You didn't know? 622 00:40:19,792 --> 00:40:23,334 He was left-wing. He used to write for "Workers' Struggle." 623 00:40:23,584 --> 00:40:26,917 Then he jumped into the rabbit hole headfirst. 624 00:40:43,584 --> 00:40:45,917 SilverLake! Silver Lake! 625 00:40:46,084 --> 00:40:49,417 Passengers to Backwood, change here… 626 00:40:56,209 --> 00:40:58,001 Please stand clear… 627 00:41:07,792 --> 00:41:09,126 Excuse me. 628 00:41:10,709 --> 00:41:12,876 I don't work here anymore. 629 00:41:14,126 --> 00:41:18,126 Might you still know when the next train to Backwood is coming? 630 00:41:18,376 --> 00:41:20,001 Stop that! 631 00:41:21,376 --> 00:41:23,709 To Backwood? 632 00:41:25,959 --> 00:41:28,834 Trains haven't gone there in a long time. 633 00:41:29,001 --> 00:41:32,709 That line wasn't economically viable. You understand. 634 00:41:33,417 --> 00:41:36,001 But go over to platform two. 635 00:41:36,834 --> 00:41:40,626 If you're lucky, the draisine is available. 636 00:41:53,917 --> 00:41:56,834 VEHICLE PROVIDED BY SOUTHEAST BRANDENBURG STRUCTURAL FUND 637 00:41:59,917 --> 00:42:01,876 He wasn't joking. 638 00:42:02,417 --> 00:42:04,709 Yeah, then get going Krapotke. 639 00:42:05,834 --> 00:42:06,834 Yes, Captain. 640 00:42:42,417 --> 00:42:45,834 Now you're happy we brought him along, eh? 641 00:42:46,001 --> 00:42:47,501 Faster, Krapotke! 642 00:42:47,667 --> 00:42:49,167 Yes, Captain! 643 00:43:03,501 --> 00:43:05,709 Krapotke! Krapotke! 644 00:43:06,251 --> 00:43:09,209 - Stop pumping! - No! Keep going, Krapotke! 645 00:43:09,376 --> 00:43:12,334 - It'll all be fine! - Yes, Captain. 646 00:43:22,001 --> 00:43:23,542 Krapotke! 647 00:43:46,917 --> 00:43:48,667 Everything okay? 648 00:43:48,834 --> 00:43:53,584 The question alone gets my dander up. Obviously, nothing is okay. 649 00:43:54,292 --> 00:43:57,209 - Did you have a nightmare? - You bet I did. 650 00:43:57,376 --> 00:44:00,292 It probably swallowed up half our budget. 651 00:44:07,834 --> 00:44:09,584 BACKWOOD 652 00:44:12,334 --> 00:44:13,959 Well done, Krapotke. 653 00:44:14,209 --> 00:44:15,709 Thanks, Captain. 654 00:44:15,876 --> 00:44:19,501 - What do we do now? - You're going to do a few pushups. 655 00:44:21,417 --> 00:44:24,542 - How many, Captain? - Until I say it's enough. 656 00:44:24,792 --> 00:44:26,501 Yes, Captain. 657 00:44:29,417 --> 00:44:30,876 One, 658 00:44:31,042 --> 00:44:32,417 two, 659 00:44:32,584 --> 00:44:34,417 three, five... 660 00:44:38,167 --> 00:44:39,334 Look. 661 00:44:45,001 --> 00:44:46,917 Ms. Schlabotnik? 662 00:44:47,751 --> 00:44:49,376 Liesel! 663 00:44:50,709 --> 00:44:52,417 You guys again! 664 00:44:52,584 --> 00:44:53,959 Yes, uh... 665 00:44:54,209 --> 00:44:56,001 Ms. Schlabotnik, 666 00:44:56,167 --> 00:44:59,042 I'll make you an offer that you can accept, 667 00:44:59,209 --> 00:45:00,792 or not. 668 00:45:01,834 --> 00:45:03,459 We talk again, 669 00:45:04,584 --> 00:45:07,667 and if you can convince us of your theory, 670 00:45:07,917 --> 00:45:10,042 then we'll convince Maria. 671 00:45:10,209 --> 00:45:13,292 - Deal? - Well, I don't have much time. 672 00:45:14,501 --> 00:45:19,167 I'm already on my way to CoCon. I'm speaking just before Adam Krieger. 673 00:45:19,334 --> 00:45:20,584 Oh, yeah? 674 00:45:20,751 --> 00:45:22,917 Yes. It wasn't cheap. 675 00:45:25,626 --> 00:45:27,251 Then in you get. 676 00:45:27,501 --> 00:45:30,209 DIESEL LIESEL'S DRIVING SCHOOL 677 00:45:36,959 --> 00:45:39,209 WITH LOVE, YOUR JOE 678 00:46:04,084 --> 00:46:08,334 From Joe's abstract phase. I've had plenty of offers for it. 679 00:46:10,292 --> 00:46:11,376 Why not? 680 00:46:12,334 --> 00:46:15,876 Right, so what's your issue with climate protection? 681 00:46:16,751 --> 00:46:19,251 Even if in 50 years we were to realize 682 00:46:19,417 --> 00:46:25,042 that every scientist royally screwed up and global warming doesn't exist, 683 00:46:25,209 --> 00:46:26,792 then what? 684 00:46:26,959 --> 00:46:31,001 For no reason at all, we'd have ensured our cities have clean air, 685 00:46:31,167 --> 00:46:34,584 rivers aren't toxic, cars are quiet and don't stink, 686 00:46:34,834 --> 00:46:38,292 and we no longer depend on dictators and their oil reserves. 687 00:46:38,459 --> 00:46:40,459 That would suck. 688 00:46:41,042 --> 00:46:42,709 What are you afraid of? 689 00:46:42,959 --> 00:46:45,334 Not the deindustrialization of Germany. 690 00:46:46,001 --> 00:46:48,959 - Who'd want that? - That's the question. 691 00:46:49,209 --> 00:46:53,501 It's the question Caesar asked. Cui bon o? W h o p r o fi t s? 692 00:46:53,751 --> 00:46:56,834 I don't think that came from Caesar. 693 00:46:57,001 --> 00:47:00,376 Funny idea, falsely attributing quotes. 694 00:47:00,542 --> 00:47:04,501 The state profits. It's a reason to raise taxes. 695 00:47:04,751 --> 00:47:08,917 "I came, I saw, I conquered." Hillary Clinton. 696 00:47:10,334 --> 00:47:12,292 "Ask not what your country can do for you, 697 00:47:12,459 --> 00:47:14,751 but what you can do for your country." 698 00:47:14,917 --> 00:47:16,709 Kim Jong-un. 699 00:47:18,334 --> 00:47:19,876 I've got one too. 700 00:47:20,042 --> 00:47:22,834 "I have a simple recipe to keep fit. 701 00:47:23,001 --> 00:47:24,792 I go on killing spree every day." 702 00:47:27,584 --> 00:47:29,042 From whom? 703 00:47:29,292 --> 00:47:30,626 Attila Hildmann. 704 00:47:34,376 --> 00:47:36,167 Well, I've got to run. 705 00:47:36,417 --> 00:47:37,959 To CoCon. 706 00:47:39,042 --> 00:47:41,209 - We're coming along. - Really? 707 00:47:41,376 --> 00:47:43,667 It's a free country. For now. 708 00:47:43,834 --> 00:47:47,167 - My flight leaves in two hours. - You're flying to Bielefeld? 709 00:47:47,334 --> 00:47:50,042 I'm flying to Frankfurt and renting a car. 710 00:47:50,209 --> 00:47:52,251 I fly out of principle. 711 00:47:55,084 --> 00:47:58,834 Well-recognized scientists are battling the climate lie. 712 00:47:59,001 --> 00:48:01,667 You know atmospheric physicist Fred Singer? 713 00:48:01,917 --> 00:48:03,126 Fred Singer? 714 00:48:03,292 --> 00:48:05,792 He not only denied the climate crisis, 715 00:48:05,959 --> 00:48:09,709 he denied acid rain, that the hole in the ozone exists, 716 00:48:09,959 --> 00:48:11,667 and that smoking causes cancer. 717 00:48:11,834 --> 00:48:13,876 Very credible guy. 718 00:48:14,042 --> 00:48:19,334 What nerve. I had to pay a ten-euro baggage fee for my pouch. 719 00:48:21,001 --> 00:48:23,626 - Have you seen my phone? - No. 720 00:48:24,334 --> 00:48:27,542 We do random, non-suspicion-based full-scale checks. 721 00:48:28,042 --> 00:48:31,876 And you're randomly, non-suspicion-based checking me 722 00:48:32,042 --> 00:48:35,251 because I don't look so unsuspiciously Caucasian? 723 00:48:36,751 --> 00:48:38,792 Empty your pouch, please. 724 00:48:47,626 --> 00:48:49,834 Reunions are a joy. 725 00:48:50,751 --> 00:48:52,751 I need all of this back. 726 00:48:55,584 --> 00:48:57,626 Ah, look. My phone. 727 00:48:57,876 --> 00:49:00,792 Mine and yours are bourgeois categories. 728 00:49:04,126 --> 00:49:06,251 Please put the pouch on the belt. 729 00:49:06,501 --> 00:49:09,292 - I can't do that, dude. - Pouch on the belt. 730 00:49:09,542 --> 00:49:11,334 Dude, it's part of me. 731 00:49:11,584 --> 00:49:15,001 The pouch has to go on the belt! 732 00:49:16,376 --> 00:49:19,334 Por favor el pucho on el belto. 733 00:49:23,917 --> 00:49:25,959 Part of me! Can't do it! 734 00:49:26,209 --> 00:49:28,376 The pouch has to go on the belt. 735 00:49:28,542 --> 00:49:30,417 Those are the rules. 736 00:49:31,084 --> 00:49:33,459 This is degrading! 737 00:49:35,209 --> 00:49:38,251 Last call for Penguin Air 4773 738 00:49:38,501 --> 00:49:40,292 to Frankfurt… 739 00:49:40,542 --> 00:49:42,709 Proceed to gate 17immediately… 740 00:49:42,876 --> 00:49:44,417 I can't make out a thing. 741 00:49:45,667 --> 00:49:48,126 - We've got to go again. - You have el culo in el aire. 742 00:49:48,292 --> 00:49:51,584 - And turn the pouch upside down. - Are they with you? 743 00:49:52,417 --> 00:49:53,876 No. 744 00:49:54,126 --> 00:49:56,917 Excuse me. Can I go through now? 745 00:49:57,834 --> 00:50:01,001 Jacket off, sweater down, belt open, shoes and hat off. 746 00:50:01,584 --> 00:50:02,917 Which... 747 00:50:13,834 --> 00:50:16,209 So what do you think, doctor? 748 00:50:17,042 --> 00:50:19,251 Is it serious? 749 00:50:19,917 --> 00:50:23,709 Is this okay? Or should I shave off the hair? 750 00:50:26,834 --> 00:50:29,709 Oh, I can't believe it. Them again. 751 00:50:29,959 --> 00:50:33,792 I'll run through the charges, destruction of a scanning machine, 752 00:50:34,042 --> 00:50:38,292 or rather, one moment... an X-ray luggage scanner. 753 00:50:38,542 --> 00:50:41,459 - I got caught up in the cables. - Why always me? 754 00:50:42,501 --> 00:50:44,084 Indecent exposure. 755 00:50:44,251 --> 00:50:46,167 I haven't eaten the whole day. 756 00:50:46,334 --> 00:50:48,126 And violating probation. 757 00:50:48,292 --> 00:50:51,209 Let's keep it short. One month in prison. 758 00:50:51,459 --> 00:50:54,084 - What? - For both of them. 759 00:50:54,334 --> 00:50:57,084 - But I'm just his pet. - Your honor. 760 00:50:57,251 --> 00:51:01,459 As we are dealing with repeat offenders, I think one month... 761 00:51:01,709 --> 00:51:05,376 - Then three. And don't drag this out. - But... But... 762 00:51:05,626 --> 00:51:06,959 The cafeteria is about to close. 763 00:51:07,209 --> 00:51:11,501 - I have champagne truffles. - Whoa, that's a bribe attempt. 764 00:51:13,417 --> 00:51:15,376 So, six months. Happy? 765 00:51:15,626 --> 00:51:17,209 But... 766 00:51:18,709 --> 00:51:20,917 - Huh? - Objection. 767 00:51:21,167 --> 00:51:22,751 Denied. 768 00:51:42,626 --> 00:51:44,417 Joe, my man. 769 00:51:44,667 --> 00:51:46,876 - Yeah. - So you're back? 770 00:51:47,126 --> 00:51:49,292 Freddie, they can't keep me down. 771 00:51:49,542 --> 00:51:52,709 How's Martha doing? You old Martha fucker? 772 00:51:52,959 --> 00:51:55,834 You know her, always has something to gripe about. 773 00:51:56,001 --> 00:51:57,709 - Joe. - Tommi. 774 00:51:57,959 --> 00:52:01,042 You owe me a rematch on the tennis court. 775 00:52:09,084 --> 00:52:12,542 I brought a little something to nibble on. 776 00:52:12,792 --> 00:52:15,584 It's all vegan. Dig in. Help yourselves. 777 00:52:16,334 --> 00:52:19,709 All righty then, according to Article 833, Section 2, 778 00:52:19,876 --> 00:52:22,001 the obligation to pay damages is invalid 779 00:52:22,251 --> 00:52:25,084 if they were caused by a pet that is part of 780 00:52:25,334 --> 00:52:28,959 the owner's work, occupation, or livelihood. 781 00:52:29,126 --> 00:52:32,626 And this man is very clearly a small-time performer. 782 00:52:36,042 --> 00:52:40,334 The kangaroo is basically his mascot. It is part of his act. 783 00:52:40,584 --> 00:52:43,667 And I'd like to refer to Article 582. 784 00:52:43,834 --> 00:52:47,251 Yes, all right. Take the two of them with you, Joe. 785 00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:54,792 It was super nice of Joe to lend us his car to drive to CoCon. 786 00:52:54,959 --> 00:52:58,876 "Tommi, you owe me a rematch on the tennis court." 787 00:52:59,042 --> 00:53:01,959 "Dig in, please. It's all vegan." 788 00:53:05,167 --> 00:53:08,667 Why not leave your key here so I can start painting the walls? 789 00:53:08,834 --> 00:53:12,042 Look for a nice restaurant in Paris instead. 790 00:53:12,209 --> 00:53:14,209 If we're not back in two days, 791 00:53:14,751 --> 00:53:16,751 avenge our deaths. 792 00:53:17,542 --> 00:53:22,334 Oh, "Don Quixote," "The Big Lebowski," kangaroo, red, Berlin, Italy, Havel. 793 00:53:22,501 --> 00:53:26,209 Joke: A doc tells a small-time performer he has three months to live. 794 00:53:26,376 --> 00:53:30,376 The performer says, "All right, Doc. But off what?" 795 00:53:32,417 --> 00:53:33,584 Cute. 796 00:53:40,917 --> 00:53:44,751 - And you needed so long for that list? - It wasn't easy. 797 00:53:44,917 --> 00:53:48,501 Of course it is: "Capital," "Banana Joe," kangaroo, red, 798 00:53:48,667 --> 00:53:50,667 Hanoi, Vietnam, Mekong, and the joke: 799 00:53:50,834 --> 00:53:53,667 how many Vietcong vets does it take to put in a light bulb? 800 00:53:53,834 --> 00:53:56,251 - No idea, maybe two. - You have no idea! 801 00:53:56,417 --> 00:53:59,209 - You weren't there! - Are you nuts? 802 00:54:00,959 --> 00:54:03,376 TRUTH, FACTS, STAY VIGILANT 803 00:54:07,209 --> 00:54:10,417 Last time I asked you for leads on this kangaroo. 804 00:54:10,667 --> 00:54:13,084 That'sjust conspiracy bullshit… 805 00:54:13,334 --> 00:54:15,876 Walter Feldmann contacted me. 806 00:54:16,126 --> 00:54:19,626 Walter, you have a YouTube channel called Walternative Facts. 807 00:54:19,792 --> 00:54:24,501 - Correct. - A video of yours went through the roof. 808 00:54:24,667 --> 00:54:26,917 Yes, "The Kangaroo Conspiracy." 809 00:54:27,084 --> 00:54:30,167 The kangaroo is the head of a conspiracy 810 00:54:30,417 --> 00:54:32,417 called the Antisocial Network. 811 00:54:32,667 --> 00:54:37,959 His anti-terror attacks aim to fan dirty left-wing-green-thinking eco-fascism. 812 00:54:38,209 --> 00:54:40,792 I mean how many times have I been branded a Nazi 813 00:54:40,959 --> 00:54:42,584 …… just because I'm a fan of the Fuhrer? 814 00:54:43,251 --> 00:54:47,709 But you've potentially, possibly, perhaps, uncovered something shocking. 815 00:54:47,959 --> 00:54:48,959 Yes. 816 00:54:49,126 --> 00:54:53,709 For centuries, kangaroos have been secretly pulling the strings. 817 00:54:55,209 --> 00:54:57,876 I'm sure you know this painting. 818 00:54:58,042 --> 00:54:59,751 What you don't know is... 819 00:55:00,584 --> 00:55:02,251 that it's been doctored. 820 00:55:02,501 --> 00:55:06,376 Recently, using terahertz radiation and layer amplification, 821 00:55:06,542 --> 00:55:09,876 it was revealed who was actually behind this revolution. 822 00:55:10,042 --> 00:55:14,584 A kangaroo! We have to stop the critter! Down with the kangaroo conspiracy! 823 00:55:14,834 --> 00:55:18,126 I am prepared to die for my c... country. 824 00:55:18,292 --> 00:55:20,626 Eva's made us tea. Thank you, dear. 825 00:55:20,792 --> 00:55:24,292 - What kind? I don't like black. - German herbal tea. 826 00:55:25,042 --> 00:55:28,042 "Strength through Friends." It's on my webshop too. 827 00:55:28,751 --> 00:55:31,834 You'll find other great products too. Check it out. 828 00:55:32,084 --> 00:55:37,042 After seeing Walter's kangaroo video, I had to do some research of my own. 829 00:55:37,209 --> 00:55:38,876 And what I found out 830 00:55:39,126 --> 00:55:42,626 might potentially, possibly, perhaps, be shocking. 831 00:55:56,834 --> 00:55:58,501 Stay vigilant. 832 00:55:58,917 --> 00:56:00,584 Stay vigilant. 833 00:56:01,834 --> 00:56:04,084 Dude, those freaks are out to get me. 834 00:56:04,251 --> 00:56:07,126 Soon you'll be getting death threats. 835 00:56:07,292 --> 00:56:10,042 Do you think Joe has a gun in the glove box? 836 00:56:15,042 --> 00:56:16,251 Look. 837 00:56:16,417 --> 00:56:19,584 - Cookie? - You have no idea what's in that. 838 00:56:22,084 --> 00:56:27,042 As the guy who always gets sanctioned for animal neglect, 839 00:56:27,209 --> 00:56:29,792 I forbid you to eat those cookies. 840 00:56:32,709 --> 00:56:34,667 Stop that now! 841 00:56:34,917 --> 00:56:37,709 - Rock Paper Blizzard? - If I win, you stop? 842 00:56:37,876 --> 00:56:40,584 If I win I get to eat them all without you griping. 843 00:56:40,751 --> 00:56:43,084 - Deal! - Rock, paper, blizzard! 844 00:56:43,959 --> 00:56:45,751 What's that? A giraffe again? 845 00:56:46,001 --> 00:56:48,542 It's a Tyrannosaurus rex, you loser! 846 00:56:48,709 --> 00:56:50,042 Interesting. 847 00:56:50,292 --> 00:56:53,084 Fun fact: my fist was a falling meteorite. 848 00:56:55,959 --> 00:56:57,001 Duh. 849 00:56:57,501 --> 00:56:59,876 Anyone can win with a meteorite. 850 00:57:01,876 --> 00:57:03,959 And a falling meteorite is a pleonasm. 851 00:57:04,126 --> 00:57:07,001 An asteroid becomes a meteorite by falling. 852 00:57:07,251 --> 00:57:11,376 Had you pointed at yourself and said "smartass," you'd have won. 853 00:57:11,626 --> 00:57:13,459 - Two of three. - Rock, paper, blizzard! 854 00:57:13,626 --> 00:57:14,626 Firestorm. 855 00:57:15,334 --> 00:57:17,001 - Well. - No wells! 856 00:57:17,167 --> 00:57:20,501 I can do anything I think of, but not a well? 857 00:57:20,667 --> 00:57:22,251 - Yes. - Nonsense. 858 00:57:22,501 --> 00:57:24,251 Okay, three of five. 859 00:57:24,417 --> 00:57:26,251 - Rock, paper... - No black holes. 860 00:57:26,501 --> 00:57:28,501 - How did you know I...? - ...blizzard. 861 00:57:28,667 --> 00:57:30,542 It isn't a game of chance. 862 00:57:38,376 --> 00:57:40,709 Find the fastest route to Bielefeld. 863 00:57:40,959 --> 00:57:42,792 SEARCHING FOR BIELEFELD 864 00:57:42,959 --> 00:57:45,042 Not found. 865 00:57:47,792 --> 00:57:49,292 No problem, 866 00:57:49,542 --> 00:57:52,167 I have an excellent sense of direction. 867 00:57:52,834 --> 00:57:55,584 We'll be there before you can say razupaltuff. 868 00:57:55,751 --> 00:57:57,459 Other way around. 869 00:57:58,042 --> 00:58:00,001 Hold on. Nearly got it. One sec. 870 00:58:00,667 --> 00:58:02,709 You have to get off here. 871 00:58:32,042 --> 00:58:33,792 EARLY SHOP VILLAGE DRINKS 872 00:58:44,959 --> 00:58:45,959 Hello? 873 00:58:46,126 --> 00:58:50,084 My mom told me to be wary of places where right-wing radicals 874 00:58:50,251 --> 00:58:52,626 keep their posters down low. 875 00:58:52,876 --> 00:58:54,292 PRINCE OF EUROPE 876 00:59:02,042 --> 00:59:03,667 Are you nuts? 877 00:59:13,001 --> 00:59:15,876 I have a really terrible feeling. 878 00:59:16,542 --> 00:59:19,501 Let's go ask at the inn. Looks nice. 879 00:59:22,667 --> 00:59:24,584 HEIDI'S 880 00:59:36,001 --> 00:59:37,751 Good evening. 881 00:59:39,542 --> 00:59:41,167 Come on. 882 00:59:45,042 --> 00:59:46,376 Hello? 883 00:59:47,084 --> 00:59:50,292 Oh no. This is the shadow world. It's the Upside Down. 884 00:59:50,459 --> 00:59:53,001 - We have to go. - Pull yourself together. 885 00:59:53,876 --> 00:59:55,626 Ah! Dark Herta! 886 00:59:55,876 --> 00:59:57,792 Um... Good evening. 887 00:59:58,042 --> 01:00:01,917 What kind of a strange dog is that you got there? 888 01:00:03,876 --> 01:00:07,584 - Dark Jesus! Dark Maria! - We're going to the refugee home. 889 01:00:08,417 --> 01:00:10,501 We need to... 890 01:00:10,667 --> 01:00:12,667 charge our electric car. 891 01:00:12,834 --> 01:00:14,917 Do you have an outlet for us? 892 01:00:15,084 --> 01:00:17,501 You think out here in the country 893 01:00:18,209 --> 01:00:20,542 we just have torches and candles? 894 01:00:20,792 --> 01:00:21,792 THE GERMAN PEOPLE 895 01:00:21,959 --> 01:00:23,834 That we live primitively? 896 01:00:24,084 --> 01:00:26,126 Or, as Thomas Hobbes would put it, 897 01:00:26,376 --> 01:00:29,417 "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short"? 898 01:00:29,667 --> 01:00:30,917 Dark Uwe! 899 01:00:31,167 --> 01:00:32,542 Your opposite. 900 01:00:32,709 --> 01:00:35,126 I mean, he's manly, 901 01:00:35,667 --> 01:00:37,209 talented and... 902 01:00:37,376 --> 01:00:38,876 Kiss me. 903 01:00:40,834 --> 01:00:42,376 ...loved. 904 01:00:45,167 --> 01:00:47,042 Who? Where? 905 01:00:47,292 --> 01:00:49,126 Who is it? 906 01:00:50,501 --> 01:00:52,209 Who is my opposite? 907 01:01:02,542 --> 01:01:04,167 Plugged in! 908 01:01:22,876 --> 01:01:24,542 VACANCY 909 01:01:33,459 --> 01:01:35,376 You better not wake me. 910 01:01:48,251 --> 01:01:50,417 Just don't lose your head. 911 01:01:59,209 --> 01:02:01,209 Long live Aldebaran! 912 01:02:01,376 --> 01:02:05,751 We were in contact… The Aldebaran confirmed our worst fears… 913 01:02:05,917 --> 01:02:10,251 The invasion of the reptilians by the Draco constellation has begun… 914 01:02:10,417 --> 01:02:14,917 The government of GER Ltd… has been subjected by the Plutonium Empire. 915 01:02:15,084 --> 01:02:17,417 The Sucknitz cellmust take action! 916 01:02:17,584 --> 01:02:21,251 We have to cap the Reptilians' adrenochrome supply… 917 01:02:23,001 --> 01:02:28,042 - The Reptilians are among us. - Even here, in Sucknitz. 918 01:02:28,209 --> 01:02:30,501 Stop gabbing so much, we have to act! 919 01:02:30,667 --> 01:02:32,751 We have to get to the bunkers in Berlin! 920 01:02:33,001 --> 01:02:37,667 - To free the kids! - Or they'll harvest their adrenochrome. 921 01:02:37,834 --> 01:02:40,751 - We're ready! - For the children! 922 01:02:41,001 --> 01:02:43,542 - For the children! - For the children! 923 01:02:43,792 --> 01:02:46,251 We are not alone. 924 01:02:48,042 --> 01:02:49,251 No. 925 01:02:55,292 --> 01:02:57,084 Leave me! Leave me! 926 01:02:57,667 --> 01:02:59,084 Leave me! 927 01:02:59,334 --> 01:03:01,542 - Leave me! - I've given your... 928 01:03:02,417 --> 01:03:05,209 Well, it can't be a kangaroo 929 01:03:05,459 --> 01:03:08,292 because owning wild animals is not permitted. 930 01:03:08,459 --> 01:03:10,876 Let's just say I've given your... dog 931 01:03:11,126 --> 01:03:13,209 a mix of diazepam and haloperidol. 932 01:03:13,376 --> 01:03:15,709 Did someone say dog? 933 01:03:15,876 --> 01:03:18,584 You won't believe the far-out trip I had. 934 01:03:19,126 --> 01:03:21,167 Oh, yes, I believe it. 935 01:03:23,917 --> 01:03:25,417 Are you nuts? 936 01:03:25,584 --> 01:03:27,667 SUCKNITZ VILLAGE FAIR PRINCE OF EUROPE 937 01:03:27,834 --> 01:03:30,876 This is the shadow world. It's the Upside Down. Dark Herta! 938 01:03:31,042 --> 01:03:33,042 Collections for the children's home? 939 01:03:33,209 --> 01:03:35,667 Dark Maria! Dark Jesus! 940 01:03:35,917 --> 01:03:37,626 Dark Uwe! 941 01:03:40,417 --> 01:03:42,626 Who is my opposite? 942 01:03:44,626 --> 01:03:46,459 HEIDI'S 943 01:03:46,626 --> 01:03:49,959 Maybe you shouldn't have eaten the cookies, hm? 944 01:03:50,126 --> 01:03:53,376 Maybe you shouldn't have wagered our apartment, hm? 945 01:03:53,542 --> 01:03:56,584 Maybe you shouldn't have come to the dark restaurant, hm? 946 01:03:56,751 --> 01:03:59,959 Maybe I shouldn't have asked you for eggs, hm? 947 01:04:00,126 --> 01:04:03,584 Maybe I shouldn't have answered. Maybe I liked living alone. 948 01:04:03,751 --> 01:04:05,001 Hm? 949 01:04:08,126 --> 01:04:09,376 Cookie? 950 01:04:23,084 --> 01:04:25,876 Last night, after a heat wave lasting weeks, 951 01:04:26,126 --> 01:04:29,334 we had torrentialrains, so drive carefully… 952 01:04:29,501 --> 01:04:32,876 And now a hit mygood friend Joe requested… 953 01:04:33,042 --> 01:04:37,542 He says hi to all the people, animals, andplants on the planet… 954 01:04:52,126 --> 01:04:54,584 Ding-dong! We 're paying you a visit 955 01:04:54,834 --> 01:04:57,459 Ringing your bell with rhythm andpie Give it a try 956 01:04:57,626 --> 01:05:02,001 We picked it from the rhythm pie tree Take a bite and see 957 01:05:02,167 --> 01:05:05,959 And have you guessed The out-of-this-world secrets inside? 958 01:05:06,126 --> 01:05:08,417 Brain, eyes, lips, heart, nose, legs, breast 959 01:05:08,584 --> 01:05:11,042 Put them together then shake 'em with the rest 960 01:05:11,292 --> 01:05:15,251 Cut a rug and we 'llsing to you We're the dream team, so damn cool 961 01:05:15,501 --> 01:05:17,542 On our knees, we beg andplead 962 01:05:17,709 --> 01:05:19,542 Please, oh please, don 't be such a dweeb 963 01:05:19,792 --> 01:05:22,501 Get crazy, people, champagne and treats 964 01:05:22,751 --> 01:05:26,751 Let's outwit logic to the beat Throw confetti and walk on tables 965 01:05:26,917 --> 01:05:29,209 And eat our brains with ladles 966 01:05:29,459 --> 01:05:31,417 I mean, logic is sick overrated 967 01:05:31,584 --> 01:05:34,209 Bielefeld! You have to turn off! Turn! 968 01:05:34,459 --> 01:05:36,459 … …. one plus one plus one plus one 969 01:05:36,709 --> 01:05:39,042 plus one plus one plus one is six! 970 01:05:44,667 --> 01:05:45,876 Crap, crap. 971 01:05:53,959 --> 01:05:55,501 Tell me the cookies are gone. 972 01:06:04,417 --> 01:06:06,042 Pack them away. 973 01:06:06,292 --> 01:06:07,876 Pack them away, quick! 974 01:06:08,501 --> 01:06:10,167 Not in your pouch! 975 01:06:10,667 --> 01:06:11,917 Yeah. 976 01:06:14,417 --> 01:06:15,876 They'll see them! 977 01:06:16,126 --> 01:06:18,334 What was I supposed to do with them? 978 01:06:20,959 --> 01:06:23,459 - Eat them! - You eat them! 979 01:06:30,251 --> 01:06:32,501 Where did you learn to drive? 980 01:06:34,126 --> 01:06:35,834 - Lisbeth? - Lisbeth! 981 01:06:36,751 --> 01:06:39,542 It's you guys. Unbelievable. 982 01:06:39,792 --> 01:06:43,126 - What are you doing here? - I've got to get to CoCon. 983 01:06:46,667 --> 01:06:49,667 And, um... Why do you have a police car? 984 01:06:52,834 --> 01:06:54,709 That's a long story. 985 01:06:55,834 --> 01:06:59,126 Dearpassengers, due to disastrous weather conditions 986 01:06:59,376 --> 01:07:01,876 the flight is being rerouted… 987 01:07:06,959 --> 01:07:08,417 Fuck you. 988 01:07:21,834 --> 01:07:23,751 Stay vigilant. 989 01:07:25,334 --> 01:07:27,459 I haven't slept much. 990 01:07:29,542 --> 01:07:30,626 Sick. 991 01:07:30,792 --> 01:07:34,292 That has to be the most incredible... No! 992 01:07:42,876 --> 01:07:45,751 Please turn… Please turn. 993 01:07:47,084 --> 01:07:49,709 Cars aren't really your thing, huh? 994 01:08:06,542 --> 01:08:09,001 I have to go. I'm running late. 995 01:08:09,959 --> 01:08:11,959 I'm speaking just before Adam Krieger. 996 01:08:12,126 --> 01:08:16,084 I'll take you. I have an excellent sense of direction. 997 01:08:17,834 --> 01:08:19,459 - Um... Yes. - But... 998 01:08:20,292 --> 01:08:24,376 Shouldn't we call roadside assistance or something? 999 01:08:35,209 --> 01:08:37,042 Howdy Doody, Joe speaking. 1000 01:08:37,209 --> 01:08:39,167 Hey, Joe. So? 1001 01:08:39,751 --> 01:08:41,626 Listen, your car... 1002 01:08:41,876 --> 01:08:46,709 is parked on the side of the road, just outside of Bielefeld. 1003 01:08:46,959 --> 01:08:50,167 Although "parked"isn 't exactly the right word… 1004 01:08:50,334 --> 01:08:54,626 That is, it's more kind of lying there… … … on its hood… 1005 01:08:54,876 --> 01:08:57,376 There was this bee that... 1006 01:08:58,292 --> 01:09:00,501 It's, uh... hard to explain. 1007 01:09:00,667 --> 01:09:04,001 Ah, no biggie… Don 't worry about it, it's insured… 1008 01:09:04,167 --> 01:09:06,584 The main thing is that you're fine. 1009 01:09:11,042 --> 01:09:13,001 Do you see that too? 1010 01:09:16,584 --> 01:09:20,126 I presume we're dealing with a rift in time. 1011 01:09:21,251 --> 01:09:22,792 Say what? 1012 01:09:23,042 --> 01:09:27,542 A rift in the space-time continuum has sent us back 2,000 years. 1013 01:09:27,709 --> 01:09:29,626 Liesel! What are you doing? 1014 01:09:29,792 --> 01:09:31,834 - Liesel! - Excuse me. 1015 01:09:32,709 --> 01:09:35,376 Excuse me, are you on your way to CoCon? 1016 01:09:37,292 --> 01:09:39,542 Surround her! 1017 01:09:45,251 --> 01:09:47,417 - The die is cast! - Seize the day! 1018 01:09:47,667 --> 01:09:51,584 We've found a German who have a funny dog. 1019 01:09:51,751 --> 01:09:55,626 Who has a funny dog! 1020 01:09:57,292 --> 01:09:59,251 Forward, prisoners! 1021 01:10:00,501 --> 01:10:01,542 Watch it! 1022 01:10:02,084 --> 01:10:04,501 I fell in the magic potion as a kid. 1023 01:10:06,084 --> 01:10:07,501 What is this? 1024 01:10:07,751 --> 01:10:11,292 Clades Variana. 1025 01:10:11,542 --> 01:10:13,626 - Yo, Clades, wassup? - Hey, no. 1026 01:10:13,876 --> 01:10:15,584 I'm not Clades. 1027 01:10:15,751 --> 01:10:18,126 This is the Clades Variana, 1028 01:10:18,292 --> 01:10:20,042 the Varian Disaster. 1029 01:10:21,042 --> 01:10:25,501 I am Publius Quinctilius Varus of Cremona, 1030 01:10:25,751 --> 01:10:30,126 son of quaestor Sextus Quinctilius Varus. 1031 01:10:30,376 --> 01:10:34,084 Commander of three Roman legions! 1032 01:10:37,584 --> 01:10:39,292 And in real life? 1033 01:10:39,542 --> 01:10:41,126 Our Latin teacher. 1034 01:10:42,751 --> 01:10:44,959 Magister latinae lingulae est. 1035 01:10:45,209 --> 01:10:46,709 Romans go the home! 1036 01:10:47,251 --> 01:10:50,542 Romans go home! 1037 01:10:50,709 --> 01:10:52,584 Raise shields! 1038 01:10:55,876 --> 01:10:57,126 Turn around! 1039 01:11:00,042 --> 01:11:01,792 Speers down! 1040 01:11:25,292 --> 01:11:28,959 - And you do this every year? - Isn't it grand! 1041 01:11:34,334 --> 01:11:37,001 - Hello. - You had an accident? 1042 01:11:37,251 --> 01:11:38,667 Yeah... 1043 01:11:39,292 --> 01:11:42,001 - There was this bee, and.… … - Is my mom with you? 1044 01:11:43,167 --> 01:11:45,167 - Maybe. - Is she all right? 1045 01:11:45,417 --> 01:11:47,334 I don't know. 1046 01:11:48,417 --> 01:11:49,917 What's going on? 1047 01:11:50,167 --> 01:11:52,209 That's hard to explain. 1048 01:11:52,459 --> 01:11:54,292 Very hard to explain. 1049 01:11:54,542 --> 01:11:56,709 What is hard to explain? 1050 01:11:56,959 --> 01:11:59,376 - Um... the situation in general. - Fire! 1051 01:12:00,667 --> 01:12:02,292 Take cover! 1052 01:12:03,167 --> 01:12:05,334 They have ballistas! 1053 01:12:05,501 --> 01:12:06,501 Ballistae! 1054 01:12:06,751 --> 01:12:08,292 They have ballistae! 1055 01:12:09,417 --> 01:12:11,667 Who has ballistae? 1056 01:12:13,251 --> 01:12:14,876 The connection is bad… 1057 01:12:15,126 --> 01:12:16,251 A t least I hope so… 1058 01:12:18,167 --> 01:12:19,917 Are you in a movie theater? 1059 01:12:20,167 --> 01:12:21,876 - Excuse me. - Hello? 1060 01:12:24,751 --> 01:12:26,626 Do I have to avenge your death? 1061 01:12:26,876 --> 01:12:28,001 Nope... 1062 01:12:28,251 --> 01:12:29,876 No. 1063 01:12:39,251 --> 01:12:43,126 Um, excuse me. Which way is it to Bielefeld? 1064 01:12:46,959 --> 01:12:48,251 Thanks. 1065 01:13:16,501 --> 01:13:18,334 That was a cakewalk. 1066 01:13:19,459 --> 01:13:21,584 COCON WELCOME TO THE TRUTH 1067 01:13:28,667 --> 01:13:31,834 THIS EVENING YOUR PATH TO THE TRUTH 1068 01:13:33,292 --> 01:13:35,292 STOP ORGANIC DIGITIZATION 1069 01:13:35,459 --> 01:13:37,292 AGAINST THE VACCINE MAFIA 1070 01:13:39,917 --> 01:13:44,459 "Come with me and you'll find all it'll cost you is your mind." 1071 01:13:44,626 --> 01:13:46,251 Donald Trump. 1072 01:14:09,834 --> 01:14:11,417 Welcome, 1073 01:14:11,667 --> 01:14:14,126 you are now a citizen of the Reich. 1074 01:14:14,376 --> 01:14:16,459 I'm a citizen of the Reich! 1075 01:14:17,584 --> 01:14:20,126 The Romans were harmless in comparison. 1076 01:14:20,292 --> 01:14:23,626 Yes. And this here appears to be out. 1077 01:14:25,542 --> 01:14:26,751 SYSTEM TRASH 1078 01:14:27,001 --> 01:14:29,542 These 499-euro sunglasses of mine 1079 01:14:29,792 --> 01:14:33,792 are an indispensable resource in the fight against reptilians. 1080 01:14:34,709 --> 01:14:37,459 That one helps heal... rheumatism. 1081 01:14:37,709 --> 01:14:39,709 What's that you said? 1082 01:14:40,834 --> 01:14:43,209 That one helps heal hearing loss. 1083 01:14:43,459 --> 01:14:45,709 Can I get an autograph too? 1084 01:14:45,876 --> 01:14:47,709 Yes, sure. Of course. 1085 01:14:47,876 --> 01:14:49,459 - Here. - Awesome. 1086 01:14:49,709 --> 01:14:51,876 - Diesel Liesel! - On the hat. 1087 01:14:52,126 --> 01:14:53,084 Right. 1088 01:14:53,334 --> 01:14:54,417 On the arm. 1089 01:14:54,667 --> 01:14:57,667 - Thank you. - I'm a huge fan. Can you sign the baby? 1090 01:14:57,917 --> 01:14:58,876 Uh, no. 1091 01:14:59,126 --> 01:15:02,959 Donald Trump confirmed that vaccines cause autism. 1092 01:15:03,209 --> 01:15:05,292 And he's a well-trained doctor. 1093 01:15:05,459 --> 01:15:07,876 Go on. One for your child too. 1094 01:15:08,626 --> 01:15:11,209 And that's why it was an inside job. 1095 01:15:11,376 --> 01:15:14,084 - Thank you for the chat. - Thank you. 1096 01:15:19,501 --> 01:15:22,959 9/11 is the cannabis of conspiracy theories. 1097 01:15:23,209 --> 01:15:26,542 No, I think Covid-19 is the gateway drug now. 1098 01:15:26,709 --> 01:15:29,167 This isn't the right place for this. 1099 01:15:29,417 --> 01:15:30,834 - Please go. - Security! 1100 01:15:31,084 --> 01:15:34,334 I thought anyone could say any old bull here. 1101 01:15:34,584 --> 01:15:36,459 - Okay, fine. - Move! 1102 01:15:36,626 --> 01:15:39,084 I have proof that 9/11 1103 01:15:39,334 --> 01:15:41,834 wasn't an inside job! 1104 01:15:42,917 --> 01:15:45,251 Could I still get a T-shirt? 1105 01:15:45,501 --> 01:15:47,292 I do workshops in Brandenburg. 1106 01:15:47,542 --> 01:15:50,292 A Glock 32 is good. It's easy to grip. 1107 01:15:50,542 --> 01:15:54,501 You can crawl across the floor, or jump. You have to jump after them. 1108 01:15:54,751 --> 01:15:57,917 You've got to shoot the critters right in the stomach, the head. 1109 01:15:58,167 --> 01:16:00,792 If you leave the window open at night, 1110 01:16:01,042 --> 01:16:03,917 illegal drones will implant a microchip inside you. 1111 01:16:04,167 --> 01:16:08,167 Then Hitler withdrew to New Swabia in a Nazi UFO. 1112 01:16:08,417 --> 01:16:10,376 ...where he realized that 1113 01:16:10,626 --> 01:16:13,376 the sun is cold. 1114 01:16:13,542 --> 01:16:17,667 - Why else would... - I'm glad I'm no small-time performer. 1115 01:16:17,834 --> 01:16:21,001 It'd be very hard to overstate this. 1116 01:16:22,667 --> 01:16:26,501 You have to understate it or no one will believe it. 1117 01:16:26,667 --> 01:16:30,417 The smallhall: pendulum divining with heavy metals forbeginners… 1118 01:16:30,667 --> 01:16:33,626 Krieger founded a money-grubbing publishing house. 1119 01:16:35,876 --> 01:16:38,709 - He was a left-wing radical? - Yes. 1120 01:16:39,834 --> 01:16:45,376 Strange. People who fall into the rabbit hole always land on the far right. 1121 01:16:45,542 --> 01:16:47,042 Nonsense. 1122 01:16:47,209 --> 01:16:48,876 Krieger isn't a Nazi. 1123 01:16:49,126 --> 01:16:51,001 Don't take this the wrong way, 1124 01:16:51,167 --> 01:16:55,126 but if something walks, clucks, and lays eggs like a chicken, 1125 01:16:55,292 --> 01:16:57,667 then it very probably is a chicken. 1126 01:16:57,917 --> 01:16:59,584 Oh, crap. 1127 01:17:00,376 --> 01:17:05,042 Come over here, we have the latest truth for you. 1128 01:17:05,209 --> 01:17:08,084 Here's what it's all about: the world is a cube. 1129 01:17:08,334 --> 01:17:12,751 We've got T-shirts for 79.90, and we're everywhere. 1130 01:17:12,917 --> 01:17:15,584 We're on Facebook. We're on... 1131 01:17:22,876 --> 01:17:25,834 - Do you remember us? - We're your biggest fans. 1132 01:17:26,084 --> 01:17:27,501 What? But... 1133 01:17:28,084 --> 01:17:32,001 We took the liberty of disseminating your revolutionary message. 1134 01:17:32,251 --> 01:17:33,417 What? 1135 01:17:33,584 --> 01:17:35,834 My message? I don't understand. 1136 01:17:36,084 --> 01:17:38,584 We were there, in Köpenick, 1137 01:17:38,751 --> 01:17:40,959 when you spoke of the cube Earth. 1138 01:17:41,209 --> 01:17:45,001 The only way to ward off chemtrails is to have a roof over your head. 1139 01:17:45,167 --> 01:17:46,834 Earth is a cube. 1140 01:17:47,959 --> 01:17:49,959 A cube-Earth theory. 1141 01:17:50,542 --> 01:17:52,667 The Earth is obviously square. 1142 01:17:52,834 --> 01:17:55,376 Why else do all maps have four corners? 1143 01:17:55,542 --> 01:17:58,126 We've been spreading your truth everywhere. 1144 01:17:58,292 --> 01:18:01,084 Facebook, YouTube, Insta, Twitter, 4chan, 1145 01:18:01,334 --> 01:18:03,667 5chan, 6chan, 7chan, 1146 01:18:03,917 --> 01:18:05,209 8chan, 1147 01:18:05,459 --> 01:18:07,209 MySpace, Telegram, WeChat, 1148 01:18:07,459 --> 01:18:08,667 nextdoor.de, 1149 01:18:08,917 --> 01:18:11,751 Reddit, WhatsApp, StudiVZ, TikTok. 1150 01:18:12,001 --> 01:18:16,959 Soon only sheeple will believe the Earth is flat and/or round. 1151 01:18:17,126 --> 01:18:18,751 Round? Ha. 1152 01:18:18,917 --> 01:18:20,167 How ridiculous. 1153 01:18:20,417 --> 01:18:23,001 What baloney. That was just a joke. 1154 01:18:23,251 --> 01:18:25,417 This is all one big joke. 1155 01:18:25,667 --> 01:18:29,459 - What? - I thought up the thing with the cube. 1156 01:18:31,126 --> 01:18:32,209 Ah. 1157 01:18:32,376 --> 01:18:36,251 This is a test? You're testing our true belief. 1158 01:18:36,501 --> 01:18:38,459 - Right? - No. 1159 01:18:38,626 --> 01:18:40,376 It's bullcrap. 1160 01:18:42,626 --> 01:18:44,792 And you're still allowed to say that. 1161 01:18:46,292 --> 01:18:47,876 Oh, Lisbeth. 1162 01:18:48,751 --> 01:18:51,209 Lisbeth, why are you denying everything? 1163 01:18:51,834 --> 01:18:53,792 I can tell you why. 1164 01:18:55,292 --> 01:18:57,334 The kangaroo brainwashed her. 1165 01:18:57,501 --> 01:18:58,667 Me? 1166 01:18:59,334 --> 01:19:03,042 You must've sat in the garage with the engine running. 1167 01:19:03,209 --> 01:19:06,792 You've been brainwashed, and/or are a traitor. 1168 01:19:07,042 --> 01:19:08,542 Traitor! 1169 01:19:08,709 --> 01:19:11,167 - Traitor! - Traitor! 1170 01:19:11,417 --> 01:19:13,459 Traitor! Traitor! 1171 01:19:21,084 --> 01:19:23,167 Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! 1172 01:19:28,251 --> 01:19:31,792 I'm certain we are potentially, possibly, perhaps, 1173 01:19:31,959 --> 01:19:34,709 dealing with a misunderstanding here. 1174 01:19:36,459 --> 01:19:38,667 This is Lisbeth. 1175 01:19:38,834 --> 01:19:40,584 Diesel Liesel. 1176 01:19:40,834 --> 01:19:42,417 One of us. 1177 01:19:42,667 --> 01:19:44,334 Right, Lisbeth? 1178 01:19:45,834 --> 01:19:49,126 - Adam, I really don't know... - Hey, Mr. S.! 1179 01:19:49,292 --> 01:19:50,917 A real S. Martazz! 1180 01:19:54,084 --> 01:19:56,542 These fools aren't with you, are they? 1181 01:20:01,417 --> 01:20:02,584 No. 1182 01:20:06,792 --> 01:20:08,126 You see? 1183 01:20:08,292 --> 01:20:10,959 Go freshen up. You're up in five minutes. 1184 01:20:11,126 --> 01:20:12,334 Yes. 1185 01:20:13,292 --> 01:20:15,667 It's our duty to stop the kangaroo! 1186 01:20:15,834 --> 01:20:18,001 That critter can't leave here alive! 1187 01:20:24,459 --> 01:20:27,751 Mincemeat! Mincemeat! Mincemeat... 1188 01:20:41,084 --> 01:20:44,501 Wait! What you're about to do is murder! 1189 01:20:44,667 --> 01:20:47,001 You'll all go to prison for this. 1190 01:20:47,167 --> 01:20:48,501 Not true. 1191 01:20:49,459 --> 01:20:52,751 As per the German Criminal Code, animals are goods. 1192 01:20:52,917 --> 01:20:56,292 According to Article 303, killing this kangaroo 1193 01:20:56,542 --> 01:20:59,459 would merely be considered property damage. 1194 01:20:59,709 --> 01:21:00,792 What? 1195 01:21:00,959 --> 01:21:05,709 So we would at most, potentially, possibly, perhaps, 1196 01:21:05,876 --> 01:21:11,042 be liable to provide recourse to this gentlemen for killing his pet. 1197 01:21:11,292 --> 01:21:14,209 It isn't my pet. It belongs to itself. 1198 01:21:14,376 --> 01:21:16,876 It's peculiar when it comes to ownership. 1199 01:21:17,126 --> 01:21:19,876 - Ugh, bad timing. - All the better. 1200 01:21:20,626 --> 01:21:25,001 Killing an animal without an owner is no problem whatsoever. 1201 01:21:25,251 --> 01:21:26,751 - Nice. - No! 1202 01:21:27,001 --> 01:21:29,376 - No! - Stop! Stop! 1203 01:21:29,959 --> 01:21:32,167 One moment. Stop! Stop! 1204 01:21:32,417 --> 01:21:34,042 Stop! 1205 01:21:34,209 --> 01:21:37,209 Scheduling announcement: in five minutes 1206 01:21:37,459 --> 01:21:39,584 DieselLiesel, followed by.… … 1207 01:21:39,751 --> 01:21:42,126 - Lisbeth. - .… …Adam Krieger, live… 1208 01:21:42,376 --> 01:21:47,376 You've found like-minded people, friends, I'd even say family. 1209 01:21:48,667 --> 01:21:51,501 Don't say anything you'll regret later. 1210 01:21:54,292 --> 01:21:59,292 As per the statutes the Brotherhood of Truth Warriors adopted in 1448 1211 01:21:59,542 --> 01:22:04,001 in Nuremberg, I demand the accused be allowed to defend themselves, 1212 01:22:04,167 --> 01:22:06,001 in a duel. 1213 01:22:13,042 --> 01:22:16,917 That might potentially, possibly, perhaps, 1214 01:22:17,584 --> 01:22:19,542 indeed be in the statutes. 1215 01:22:20,834 --> 01:22:22,709 If the accused demand a duel, 1216 01:22:22,876 --> 01:22:25,292 then it must be granted to them. 1217 01:22:25,542 --> 01:22:28,626 And the accused get to choose the weapons. 1218 01:22:28,792 --> 01:22:30,167 I choose... 1219 01:22:30,667 --> 01:22:32,501 Rock Paper Blizzard. 1220 01:22:36,626 --> 01:22:39,917 Welcome to the big Rock Paper Blizzard duel. 1221 01:22:45,417 --> 01:22:47,876 We're playing best of three. 1222 01:22:48,126 --> 01:22:51,584 Once one team has won two duels, it has won. 1223 01:22:52,167 --> 01:22:55,126 Round one features the kangaroo... 1224 01:22:59,876 --> 01:23:02,042 against Heinz! 1225 01:23:08,792 --> 01:23:10,292 On your marks... 1226 01:23:24,501 --> 01:23:26,001 get set... 1227 01:23:29,084 --> 01:23:32,126 rock, paper, blizzard! 1228 01:23:34,292 --> 01:23:36,084 Climate crisis. 1229 01:23:37,084 --> 01:23:38,667 Adam Krieger! 1230 01:23:43,417 --> 01:23:46,501 Krieger doesn't believe in the climate crisis. 1231 01:23:46,751 --> 01:23:49,667 It doesn't care if Krieger doesn't believe in it. 1232 01:23:49,834 --> 01:23:52,251 - It's coming no matter what. - Oh, yeah? 1233 01:23:53,042 --> 01:23:54,626 Krieger doesn't care. 1234 01:23:55,167 --> 01:23:57,667 Even if there were a crisis, 1235 01:23:57,834 --> 01:24:02,584 in central Germany it wouldn't be really bad until after he's dead. 1236 01:24:05,917 --> 01:24:07,792 Not a good crowd. 1237 01:24:07,959 --> 01:24:10,709 And what about the rest of the world? 1238 01:24:17,251 --> 01:24:20,501 Krieger doesn't give a shit about the rest of the world! 1239 01:24:20,751 --> 01:24:23,584 Krieger doesn't give a shit about the rest of the world! 1240 01:24:23,751 --> 01:24:25,626 That's right! 1241 01:24:27,292 --> 01:24:28,292 Yes! 1242 01:24:28,542 --> 01:24:31,459 The first round goes to Heinz! 1243 01:24:32,751 --> 01:24:33,709 Yes! 1244 01:24:35,167 --> 01:24:36,376 But... 1245 01:24:37,084 --> 01:24:38,917 prompting isn't fair. 1246 01:24:40,417 --> 01:24:42,667 One more victory and his team has won. 1247 01:24:42,917 --> 01:24:44,209 Bravo! 1248 01:24:51,917 --> 01:24:53,626 Round two. 1249 01:24:54,334 --> 01:24:58,501 We have Lisbeth Schlabotnik, alias Diesel Liesel... 1250 01:25:02,376 --> 01:25:04,792 versus Tina from "White Russian Today"! 1251 01:25:10,001 --> 01:25:11,876 On your marks... 1252 01:25:16,042 --> 01:25:17,501 get set... 1253 01:25:27,292 --> 01:25:29,959 rock, paper, blizzard! 1254 01:25:30,876 --> 01:25:32,376 Jesus Christ! 1255 01:25:33,667 --> 01:25:35,376 Chuck Norris! 1256 01:25:42,167 --> 01:25:43,542 There's nothing to discuss. 1257 01:25:43,709 --> 01:25:48,167 Jesus is obviously more important than Chuck Norris. 1258 01:25:52,084 --> 01:25:54,251 This isn't about importance. 1259 01:25:55,126 --> 01:25:58,042 This is about head-to-head battle. 1260 01:25:58,209 --> 01:25:59,834 Yes! Yes, ma'am! 1261 01:26:00,084 --> 01:26:03,792 Jesus is far more powerful. He can change water into wine! 1262 01:26:04,042 --> 01:26:06,292 - Say what? - And raise the dead! 1263 01:26:06,959 --> 01:26:08,959 And the thing with the fish. 1264 01:26:09,209 --> 01:26:12,251 And if Chuck hit him on the left cheek, 1265 01:26:12,501 --> 01:26:14,959 what would Jesus do then? 1266 01:26:16,709 --> 01:26:18,292 Crap. 1267 01:26:25,334 --> 01:26:27,584 He would turn the other cheek. 1268 01:26:31,501 --> 01:26:33,667 The second round goes to the home team! 1269 01:26:41,917 --> 01:26:43,792 That decides it. 1270 01:26:44,376 --> 01:26:48,584 We have a clear winner and the kangaroo has to die! 1271 01:26:57,292 --> 01:26:59,459 No, no! Wait, wait, wait! 1272 01:26:59,626 --> 01:27:00,876 Stop! 1273 01:27:02,792 --> 01:27:06,542 I want my turn too. Double or nothing. 1274 01:27:06,792 --> 01:27:08,751 What's that supposed to mean? 1275 01:27:10,001 --> 01:27:12,834 If I beat you, the kangaroo goes free. 1276 01:27:13,834 --> 01:27:15,251 And if you lose? 1277 01:27:18,209 --> 01:27:21,459 Then you can kill me too? 1278 01:27:23,959 --> 01:27:26,542 - Boy, are you insane? - No, no, no. 1279 01:27:27,209 --> 01:27:30,834 I have to advise against that. That would be murder. 1280 01:27:31,084 --> 01:27:32,334 Sorry. 1281 01:27:33,501 --> 01:27:35,126 Wait! No! 1282 01:27:35,751 --> 01:27:37,459 All right... 1283 01:27:38,584 --> 01:27:40,876 If I lose... 1284 01:27:41,834 --> 01:27:43,417 then... 1285 01:27:43,584 --> 01:27:46,959 I will kill myself. 1286 01:27:47,584 --> 01:27:50,751 And I'll do it with that... cleaver! 1287 01:27:52,834 --> 01:27:55,334 Legally, that's not a problem. 1288 01:27:55,584 --> 01:27:56,876 All righty. 1289 01:27:57,126 --> 01:27:58,584 We're in business! 1290 01:28:01,834 --> 01:28:03,376 Round three! 1291 01:28:06,584 --> 01:28:08,876 Double or nothing. 1292 01:28:10,626 --> 01:28:13,292 - We have fat boy... - I'm not fat. 1293 01:28:16,417 --> 01:28:19,501 ...against the small-time performer. 1294 01:28:19,751 --> 01:28:22,167 I'm not a small-time performer... 1295 01:28:22,917 --> 01:28:25,126 - Ow! Why? - On your marks... 1296 01:28:26,751 --> 01:28:27,917 get set... 1297 01:28:44,417 --> 01:28:46,042 rock... 1298 01:28:48,209 --> 01:28:50,126 paper... 1299 01:28:53,542 --> 01:28:55,459 blizzard! 1300 01:29:03,834 --> 01:29:05,042 Yes! 1301 01:29:05,209 --> 01:29:06,459 Yes! 1302 01:29:37,959 --> 01:29:40,417 Paper? Honestly, dude? Paper? 1303 01:29:40,584 --> 01:29:42,876 You can do whatever and you do paper? 1304 01:29:44,542 --> 01:29:45,751 Compadres! 1305 01:29:46,001 --> 01:29:47,792 Come with me if you want to live. 1306 01:29:52,584 --> 01:29:54,251 Hey! Hey! 1307 01:29:54,501 --> 01:29:56,501 They're taking off! After them! 1308 01:29:58,501 --> 01:30:01,167 I don't get it. Did you think he'd do rock? 1309 01:30:01,334 --> 01:30:04,501 - I was under pressure! - You could've at least done a well! 1310 01:30:04,751 --> 01:30:08,417 How about saying thanks? I just risked my life for you! 1311 01:30:12,959 --> 01:30:14,626 Stop them! 1312 01:30:16,417 --> 01:30:17,709 Stop! 1313 01:30:17,959 --> 01:30:19,417 Liesel! 1314 01:30:20,292 --> 01:30:22,251 - Leave me behind! - Want some? 1315 01:30:22,417 --> 01:30:24,167 - Tell Maria... 1316 01:30:24,417 --> 01:30:26,417 - I'm sorry! - You're coming. 1317 01:30:26,667 --> 01:30:27,834 Smack time! 1318 01:30:28,084 --> 01:30:31,251 - I'll make mincemeat of you! - Come and get some! 1319 01:30:32,251 --> 01:30:34,667 I have to warn you. I do have a black belt. 1320 01:30:36,709 --> 01:30:39,584 I heard kangaroo burgers taste fantastic. 1321 01:30:39,834 --> 01:30:41,376 A real delicacy. 1322 01:30:41,626 --> 01:30:43,334 Get them. 1323 01:30:44,459 --> 01:30:46,917 Look! There! 1324 01:30:48,959 --> 01:30:50,626 Chemtrails... 1325 01:30:51,667 --> 01:30:53,417 Chemtrails! 1326 01:30:55,001 --> 01:30:57,792 Chemtrails! Take cover! 1327 01:30:57,959 --> 01:30:59,876 Hey! Hey, are you bonkers? 1328 01:31:00,042 --> 01:31:01,751 Come back! Stay where you are! 1329 01:31:02,001 --> 01:31:04,501 Come back! Come back! 1330 01:31:25,126 --> 01:31:28,792 If you really look, you see that people are, by and large, 1331 01:31:29,834 --> 01:31:31,751 stupid. 1332 01:31:34,334 --> 01:31:37,084 I think this guy is potentially, possibly, 1333 01:31:37,251 --> 01:31:40,042 perhaps, an asshole. 1334 01:31:41,251 --> 01:31:43,459 My experience says the same. 1335 01:32:09,126 --> 01:32:11,376 All the nonsense people believe. 1336 01:32:12,792 --> 01:32:14,876 I'm finally vigilant again. 1337 01:32:32,084 --> 01:32:35,084 I just really didn't want to have to avenge your deaths. 1338 01:32:35,959 --> 01:32:38,751 Yes, I'm getting the gaming console. 1339 01:32:40,209 --> 01:32:43,251 This is my second car. Small, but solar-powered. 1340 01:32:43,417 --> 01:32:45,917 Built it myself. It's my hobby. 1341 01:33:03,876 --> 01:33:07,709 To be honest, I'm pretty glad you won the bet. 1342 01:33:09,042 --> 01:33:10,251 Me too. 1343 01:33:10,417 --> 01:33:14,042 Now I can put the kangaroo in front of the console when it annoys me. 1344 01:33:14,209 --> 01:33:15,751 - I... - Unbelievable! 1345 01:33:15,917 --> 01:33:17,709 No ice cream sandwiches. 1346 01:33:17,876 --> 01:33:20,667 And this calls itself haute cuisine. 1347 01:33:21,626 --> 01:33:23,626 I shouldn't have brought you. 1348 01:33:23,876 --> 01:33:26,001 If anyone took anybody anywhere, 1349 01:33:26,167 --> 01:33:28,334 then it was me who took you. 1350 01:33:30,542 --> 01:33:32,709 That's all, folks. 1351 01:33:37,167 --> 01:33:39,084 Kangaroo rap two thousand… …. 1352 01:33:39,251 --> 01:33:41,292 - The movie's not over. - Well... 1353 01:33:41,542 --> 01:33:45,084 From here it's just cheesy. No one wants to see it. We can... 1354 01:33:45,334 --> 01:33:47,876 Nonsense. Everyone wants to see it. 1355 01:33:48,667 --> 01:33:50,417 All right, then... 1356 01:33:51,751 --> 01:33:53,959 Let's grit our teeth and do this. 1357 01:33:54,126 --> 01:33:57,959 We have gathered here today in this church 1358 01:33:58,126 --> 01:34:02,334 because the two of you wish to be wed in holy matrimony. 1359 01:34:02,501 --> 01:34:06,334 And so I ask you, my friend Josef Seligmann, 1360 01:34:06,501 --> 01:34:12,126 do you wish to take Maria Schlabotnik as your lawfully wedded wife? 1361 01:34:12,292 --> 01:34:13,459 I do. 1362 01:34:13,626 --> 01:34:16,376 And I ask you, Maria Schlabotnik... 1363 01:34:16,542 --> 01:34:19,667 - I didn't think it'd end like this. - Me either. 1364 01:34:19,834 --> 01:34:25,001 ...my pen pal and pilgrimage partner, as your lawfully wedded husband? 1365 01:34:25,251 --> 01:34:26,751 I do. 1366 01:34:27,334 --> 01:34:29,792 Chin up, dude. Champagne truffle? 1367 01:34:29,959 --> 01:34:32,542 ...many say marriage is merely cheesy... 1368 01:34:32,709 --> 01:34:36,209 Oh, well. Let's get out of here. I'm allergic to frankincense. 1369 01:34:36,376 --> 01:34:38,209 Yeah, let's go home. 1370 01:34:38,834 --> 01:34:41,042 You may now kiss the bride. 1371 01:35:03,376 --> 01:35:06,167 I think the movie really is over now. 1372 01:35:06,334 --> 01:35:08,126 What makes you think that? 1373 01:35:15,876 --> 01:35:19,501 - How do we get out of here? - How should I know? 1374 01:35:19,667 --> 01:35:22,626 But the big blue door is my best guess. 1375 01:35:31,209 --> 01:35:33,501 Huh? Where are we now? 1376 01:35:33,667 --> 01:35:35,251 No idea. 1377 01:35:37,584 --> 01:35:39,834 Excuse me, our movie is over. 1378 01:35:40,001 --> 01:35:43,167 How... do we get out of here? 1379 01:35:43,709 --> 01:35:45,876 An old horse does not forget his path. 1380 01:35:46,042 --> 01:35:48,584 God damn it! Why is there a dog in the picture? 1381 01:35:48,751 --> 01:35:50,876 We're trying to film here! 1382 01:35:56,834 --> 01:35:59,792 Kangaroo rap 2139 1383 01:35:59,959 --> 01:36:05,001 Potentially, possibly, perhaps 1384 01:36:05,251 --> 01:36:07,667 This movie ends with this rap 1385 01:36:07,834 --> 01:36:10,042 Yet there is magic in every end 1386 01:36:10,209 --> 01:36:12,251 We drink out of the eaves 1387 01:36:12,417 --> 01:36:14,001 Our truth is disguised 1388 01:36:14,167 --> 01:36:16,334 Power to the animals Small-time performers united 1389 01:36:16,959 --> 01:36:18,792 An offer has been made 1390 01:36:18,959 --> 01:36:21,042 - That you can accept….… - Or not! 1391 01:36:21,292 --> 01:36:25,667 We communicate with "pets" Who formulate things we don 't get 1392 01:36:25,834 --> 01:36:28,084 They talk about a world in demise 1393 01:36:28,334 --> 01:36:30,251 Something we don 't seem to realize 1394 01:36:30,417 --> 01:36:32,459 We say, "It's allin your heads" 1395 01:36:32,626 --> 01:36:35,126 From thinking in bourgeois categories 1396 01:36:35,376 --> 01:36:37,876 Reality check, no time, mate 1397 01:36:38,042 --> 01:36:40,834 This is the post-factualage 1398 01:36:41,001 --> 01:36:45,001 The vengeance of the dimwits Our feelings burst on the facts 1399 01:36:45,167 --> 01:36:49,501 We show our rainforest a PDF And when it rains we sue the WWF 1400 01:36:49,667 --> 01:36:54,459 We're not about to change We want to kick up a stink, not to think 1401 01:36:54,709 --> 01:36:57,001 You don 't want to see it Switch the numbers 1402 01:36:57,167 --> 01:36:59,876 Not owning the shit Is your shtick 1403 01:37:00,126 --> 01:37:03,334 But you have to know The signs show when it's time to go 1404 01:37:03,584 --> 01:37:05,376 And the signs are clear as day 1405 01:37:05,542 --> 01:37:09,084 The planet will survive Humanity will fade away 1406 01:37:10,251 --> 01:37:12,792 The end is nigh! 1407 01:37:13,042 --> 01:37:17,501 One hundred thousand opinions Only one is clear 1408 01:37:17,751 --> 01:37:22,126 Yet if we lose this planet 1409 01:37:22,376 --> 01:37:26,834 Then there's no Planet B And nowhere we can debate 1410 01:37:31,834 --> 01:37:34,126 Deba, deba, deba, deba 1411 01:37:34,292 --> 01:37:36,834 Deba, deba, debate 1412 01:37:37,084 --> 01:37:38,834 Deba, deba, deba, deba, 1413 01:37:39,001 --> 01:37:41,042 Deba, deba, debate 1414 01:37:42,584 --> 01:37:46,209 It'd be sad, that's all It'djust be sad, sad 1415 01:37:47,042 --> 01:37:50,334 It'd be kind ofsad, or not? 1416 01:37:52,126 --> 01:37:56,001 This place is full Ofambitionatedpeople 1417 01:37:56,167 --> 01:37:58,167 I'm out ofhere 1418 01:37:58,792 --> 01:38:00,876 Gonna chill with my marsupial 1419 01:42:08,126 --> 01:42:10,584 648,363. 1420 01:42:11,292 --> 01:42:13,709 648,364. 1421 01:42:14,334 --> 01:42:16,917 - 648,3... - That's enough, Krapotke. 1422 01:42:17,501 --> 01:42:18,959 That's enough. 1423 01:42:21,667 --> 01:42:23,417 Yes, Captain. 97559