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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
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Sid: This is a story
of life and death.
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00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,547
Specifically, one life
and one death.
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00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:52,344
More specifically, mine.
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00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:01,728
My name is Sid Sandagger,
and I have figured out
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00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,939
the key
to a long and happy life.
8
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:09,319
It's quite simple.
Don't mess with the system.
Think about it.
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00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:12,155
Every awful thing
that happens to someone
in their life,
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00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,575
it can be chalked up
to them ripping at the fabric
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00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,953
of the social continuum.
So don't.
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00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:19,663
There's a natural order
to things in life,
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00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,248
and it is not
to be reckoned with.
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00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,000
And nowhere
is that more important
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00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,128
than the one environment
more strict,
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00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:28,589
more brutal, and more savage
17
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,592
than all of the rest--
high school.
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00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:35,929
Luckily, I've developed
three simple rules
to ensure survival.
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00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:40,058
Rule number one?
Shut up.
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00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,393
Most people
don't get beaten up
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00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:43,437
for what they don't say.
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00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:48,358
Rule number two,
don't stand out.
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00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:52,613
This applies to everything,
from what you wear,
to who your friends are,
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00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:55,282
to what extra-curriculars
you're a part of.
25
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:59,369
I have mastered
the art of the nondescript
extra-curricular.
26
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:01,997
For example, I'm comptroller
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00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:04,082
for the Eastland High
student council,
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00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:07,461
understudy
for the school play...
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00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:10,339
♪ You make me alive ♪
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00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:13,217
...equipment manager
for the hockey team...
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00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,219
Hey, yo. Incoming!
32
00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:18,639
...and starter for
the Eastland e-sports team.
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00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,141
E-sports, need I say more?
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00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:24,978
Midnight tonight, boys.
You excited, Cunningham?
35
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,856
I hacked into
my parents' internet account
to upgrade our speed.
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00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:31,777
- Sweet.
- Also, I think my parents
are getting divorced.
37
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:41,453
And finally, the third
and most important rule.
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00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:45,457
Don't fuck with Chuck.
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00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:48,460
Chuck Brawnte,
him and his stupid friends
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00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:51,046
have a few thousand
subscribers to their
YouTube channel,
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00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:53,465
which, believe it or not,
people actually
give a shit about.
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00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,467
Whoo! Fuck you, window!
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00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,803
But the real reason everybody
knows who Chuck Brawnte is...
44
00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,472
- Are you boys okay over here?
- Pussy bitch!
45
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,641
...is because
he is super violent.
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00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,518
- Come on. Let's go,
let's go, let's go.
- Here's the big one.
47
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,436
Chuck got kicked out
of his old school
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00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,314
for beating a freshmen
nearly to death.
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00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,859
The kid is still in a coma.
Now I'm not a lawyer,
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00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,027
but allow me to present
these three facts.
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00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:18,824
One, Chuck got off
with a few hours
of community service.
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00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:21,076
Two, Chuck's dad
is super rich
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00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:24,288
because he owns
all the Mercedes dealerships
in upstate New York.
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00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:27,499
And three, the judge
hearing Chuck's case
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00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:30,085
now drives a top of the line
Mercedes Benz.
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00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,212
Get the picture?
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00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,139
Fuh...
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00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:43,932
Well, there you have it,
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00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:48,520
Sid Sandagger's
Guide to Life.
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00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,231
♪ But I could care less ♪
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00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,901
♪ What's on your mind ♪
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00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,320
♪ You say something nice ♪
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00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,323
♪ You say something right ♪
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00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:02,117
♪ And people start
losing their mind ♪
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00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,119
♪ Thursdays on my mind ♪
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00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:06,538
♪ We were driving
through red lights ♪
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00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,333
♪ We were flying ♪
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00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:12,628
♪ But I could care less
what's on your mind ♪
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00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:17,508
- I'm putting Todd
at your parents' table.
- Oh, he gives my dad anxiety.
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00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,760
And your dad's a Republican,
and you're marrying a woman,
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00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:23,096
- so already kinda anxious.
- Fair point.
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00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,098
- Hey!
- Hey.
73
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:32,272
How was school?
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00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,943
To me that said,
"Fuck off, Moms,
but I love you."
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00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:40,447
- No.
- If he was half-Korean,
this would not be happening.
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00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:45,035
Sid: School was great.
I woke up, I went to class,
and then I came home.
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00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:46,537
It was perfectly predictable,
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00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:49,164
which is
perfectly acceptable.
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00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:51,583
As long as
I stick to my rules,
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00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,168
much like
my internet search history,
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00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,586
high school will be a filthy,
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00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:57,464
nasty, amoral blip
on my radar
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00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:01,593
that someday will
never have even happened.
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00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:04,388
Life is about
embracing routine.
85
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:06,014
- Oh.
- Eat, sleep, play.
86
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,724
It's gonna be a good night.
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00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,102
That is, of course,
except when a new edition
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00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:12,354
of War Monger comes out.
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00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,314
It's a sacred night.
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00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,816
And on this night,
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00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,609
you don't eat,
you don't sleep,
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00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,611
and you sit at your altar
for hours on end
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00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,196
just praying to stay alive.
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00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,784
It's pure heaven.
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00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:34,168
Then the semen travels
through the vas deferens,
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00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:37,421
out the urethra,
and hopefully into the vagina
97
00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:39,423
of someone you're
not just using for sex
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00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:40,632
and that you're willing
to stick around
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00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,176
and raise the baby with.
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00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,429
Or into an anus.
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00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:47,014
Any questions?
102
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,850
Oh, my God, dude.
Sex Ed is such bullshit.
103
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,226
Like, I don't understand
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00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:53,020
why we spend
so much time on condoms.
105
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,022
What is there to know?
You open the shit up,
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00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,273
you stick your junk in it,
and you go to town on somebody.
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00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,900
Sid:My best friend Jim Vega.
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00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,651
Jim cares about two things,
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00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,862
getting laid
and being popular,
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00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,906
and so far
he's achieved neither.
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00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:05,657
Do they seriously
think dudes are, like,
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00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,784
sticking their balls
in it or something?
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00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:11,496
You'd be surprised.
What do you want
them to teach?
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00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,040
- Like, I don't know.
- Heads up!
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00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,042
Why don't they teach us
how to fuck awesome?
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00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,878
'Cause it's Sex Ed.
It's not sex class.
117
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,088
Yeah, but what's the difference?
And unlike trigonometry,
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00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,674
this would be, like, practical,
applicable knowledge.
119
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:25,469
Just talk to
the school board
about it, man.
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00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:28,472
- Wait, you-- you think so?
- Yeah, why not?
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00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,891
You go to the school board
and you say,
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00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,227
"Ladies and gentlemen,
I would like my teachers
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00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,354
- to teach me
how to fuck awesome."
- I'm serious.
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00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,272
Like, how do you
find the clitoris during
over the pants sex stuff?
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00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:40,692
Can you not say fucking
"clitoris" in the hallway?
126
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,861
You see, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.
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00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:45,906
Everyone is so horny that
yelling "clit" in the hall
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00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,783
is like yelling fire
in a theater.
129
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:50,244
Yeah, and you don't yell fire
in a fucking theater.
130
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:54,957
Regardless,
the clitoris is at the top
of the labia minora.
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00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:57,501
That sophomore
with the cleft lip?
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00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:59,503
No, that's Lydia Mindlin.
133
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:01,505
Yo, Rafi! What's up, man?
134
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:02,840
- How you doing?
How was that test?
- Who are you?
135
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:06,426
All right.
Rafi's the best.
136
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,929
- You really shouldn't do that.
- Why? Rafi's my homie.
137
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,722
Rafi's not your fucking homie.
138
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,058
He just tolerates you
because you let him
cheat off you once.
139
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,518
You're just jealous
'cause I'm popular.
140
00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:16,520
- You're not fucking popular,
- Okay.
141
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,188
- And that's a blessing.
- Oh, come on.
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00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,398
Don't start with your whole
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00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:21,316
"don't mess with the system"
bullshit.
144
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,735
- You're just afraid
to live a little.
- I live.
145
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:27,114
What do you call
an all-nighter
playing World Of--
146
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:30,117
Whoa-ly shit. Tiff Mann.
147
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:33,120
I don't think I've talked
to Tiff Mann since our
figure skating recital
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00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,247
when I was eight years old.
149
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,924
I've been in love with her
the entire time since,
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00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:49,052
but it's clear
that she didn't exactly
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00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:51,388
see me as boyfriend material.
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00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,515
I've told you,
no sleepovers at boys' houses.
153
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:56,143
But, Mom, it's just Sid's.
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00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:57,477
Come to think of it,
neither did her mom.
155
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,731
Oh, that's fine.
156
00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,774
Even more fucked up
than that,
157
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,776
Tiff Mann is dating Chuck.
158
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:07,988
Yo.
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00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,198
Chuck: Wanna go to
the parking lot right now?
160
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,241
- How was class?
- Sucks.
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00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,410
Mr. Ramirez can literally
lick my butthole.
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00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,621
Suck a dick, Chuck.
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00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:18,874
All right, class, let's go!
164
00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:22,294
- Two laps around the field!
- Oh, my God.
165
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:26,590
Dude, do you think
Juliana Ulrich would be down
for a finger in the butt?
166
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,800
Teacher:
Good speed! Keep it up!
167
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,011
I really don't think
girls are as into that
as you think they are.
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00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,971
Are you kidding me?
It's a second G-spot.
169
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,015
And I'm usually pretty good
at telling who would be down.
170
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,809
I'm like the Finger
In The Butt Whisperer.
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00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,020
You know who probably sticks
a bunch of fingers in butts?
172
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,856
- Teacher: Two more laps!
- Chuck. Chuck is the man.
173
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,733
Did you see his latest video?
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00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:47,152
He totally wrecked
Su-Ming Lee's car
with a pogo stick.
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00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,822
- Chuck's a fucking monster.
- Jim, Jim! Hey.
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00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,824
You haven't told me
what color tie you're
wearing to homecoming.
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00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,409
That's 'cause
I'm not going with you, Luna.
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00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,620
Sid:Meet Luna Peralta.
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00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,413
Luna and Jim have
known each other since
they were in diapers,
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00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,624
and have hated each other
just as long.
181
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:02,251
Luna does not hold back.
182
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:04,211
You think I wanna go with you?
183
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,796
Here's a list
of inanimate objects
184
00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:07,381
I would rather take to
Homecoming than you, okay?
185
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,633
Bleach, a bottle of urine,
186
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:12,094
and rusty nails literally
stuck in my hands.
187
00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:14,847
- Glad we're on the same page.
- My crazy parents only
want me to go with you
188
00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:16,723
'cause they know I'm not
gonna come back pregnant.
189
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:19,268
Great. Not happening.
Leave me alone. I have herpes.
190
00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:21,854
You wish you had herpes.
That would have to mean
someone touched
191
00:09:21,854 --> 00:09:23,856
- your skinny
little micro-penis.
- It's not skinny.
192
00:09:23,856 --> 00:09:25,691
If anything, girth is my asset
and length is my weakness.
193
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,859
- Okay.
- So fuck off.
194
00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:28,652
Buddy, nothing is your asset,
195
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,863
and being a fuckwad
is your weakness.
196
00:09:30,863 --> 00:09:32,656
Later, shrimp dick.
197
00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:34,074
- She is so mean.
- I know.
198
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,993
- Teacher: Sandagger, Vega!
- I love it.
199
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:50,799
- Oh, come on, babe.
- Hey! Hold it.
200
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,676
- What's up?
- Oh.
201
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:56,263
- Oh. You look awful.
- I'm just tired.
202
00:09:56,263 --> 00:10:00,475
- We got an email.
A parent-y email.
- Yes.
203
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:06,064
Uh, "Please ensure
proper Homecoming attire,"
blah blah blah.
204
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:10,611
Were you planning on
wearing a very short skirt
to this dance?
205
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:13,071
Why is this the first time
we're hearing about
this Homecoming?
206
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:16,533
- 'Cause I'm not going.
- Why not?
207
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,452
Homecoming is a very big deal.
208
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,329
You get all dressed up,
and you wait for some schnook
209
00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:22,289
to pick you up,
and you dance at arm's length,
210
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,249
and then you have
a fleeting sexual encounter.
211
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:27,336
- And then you realize
that you're a lesbian.
- Yes.
212
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:28,921
Have you thought
about that, Sid?
213
00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:30,881
You might be a lesbian
and not even know it.
214
00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:33,383
- You do like Brandy Carlile.
- And going to Maine.
215
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,595
- Mm, the signs are all there.
- Come on.
216
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:38,889
Why aren't you going?
217
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:43,227
That was a pretty
compelling argument.
218
00:10:43,227 --> 00:10:44,353
Come on.
219
00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,480
Think about it.
220
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:51,818
You don't want to
graduate high school
without any memories.
221
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:54,947
Actually, I have no problem
leaving high school
without any memories.
222
00:10:54,947 --> 00:10:57,157
I can't imagine
any experience good enough
223
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,326
to risk the possibility
of a bad one.
224
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:02,037
It's like why I don't have
my driver's license.
225
00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:08,544
And what's so bad about this?
226
00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:10,546
A 72-hour War Monger marathon
227
00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:12,965
is pretty awesome and safe.
228
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:17,344
Game on, baby.
229
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:21,181
Okay, well, maybe 72 hours
isn't entirely safe.
230
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:25,561
According to Google,
there are seven specific
signs of sleep deprivation
231
00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:27,437
that all lead
to complete madness.
232
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,772
Heads up, Tiny Tim.
233
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,899
Ow. Stupid hemorrhoid.
234
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,860
Look alive, fuckface.
235
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:37,197
Oh, God. Dude, slow down.
236
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,866
What happened to
no carbs till college?
237
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:42,202
Symptom number one,
you eat a lot.
238
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,580
- I'm fricking starving.
- Oh, pop quiz.
239
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,790
Okay, so you're
driving home from a party
and you can't drive.
240
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,042
What do you take?
Uber or Lyft?
241
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,587
Symptom number two,
you're indecisive.
242
00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:56,008
- I don't know.
- Lyft, 'cause their drivers
are super hot.
243
00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:57,759
Plus, Uber is for fascists.
244
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,803
Symptom number three,
you forget things.
245
00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,805
- What are we talking about?
- I'm open, I'm open!
246
00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,932
Symptom number four?
Delayed motor skills.
247
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,642
- Come on, come on.
- Go, go, go, go, go!
248
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:08,312
Symptom number five,
your pain receptors are...
249
00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:09,646
- Heads up!
- ...diminished.
250
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:13,150
Sorry!
251
00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:17,738
Symptom number six,
your senses get all weird.
252
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:21,450
And the final symptom
of sleep deprivation
253
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:25,245
leading to complete madness,
you lose your filter.
254
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,622
Suck a dick, Chuck.
255
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,210
What did you just say?
256
00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:38,634
- Come on.
- What the fuck did you
just say to me?
257
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:43,847
Um, I said, uh,
258
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:47,434
I said suck--
suck her lick, Chuck.
259
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,562
I want you guys
to enjoy kissing each other,
260
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,439
'cause, you know, like,
we're not gonna be
young forever.
261
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,859
Uh, I didn't say
that second part,
but I thought it.
262
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:58,612
Uh, what I said, uh...
263
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,450
I said, "Suck a dick."
264
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:07,412
Suck a dick,
you pogo stick-riding douchebag.
265
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,207
You think everyone's
afraid of you? Why?
266
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:13,377
Because you look like
one of those punching bags
shaped like a torso?
267
00:13:17,089 --> 00:13:19,132
Jimenez, my good man.
268
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,968
I'm not his man.
I don't even know
who the hell he is.
269
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:23,804
- We ride.
- You remember three rules
270
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,472
to getting through
high school alive?
271
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:30,018
Shut up, don't stand out,
don't fuck with Chuck?
272
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,271
Well, this is what happens
when you break all three
273
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:37,484
of those rules
in the exact same moment.
274
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,487
Motherfucker.
Tell me another joke.
275
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,990
Tell me another fucking joke.
Huh? Was it worth it?
276
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:46,159
- I really fucking hope
it was worth it.
- Break it up!
277
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,829
- I'm gonna kill you, kid.
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
- Ow!
278
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:53,792
- Oh! Oh, oh!
- I am going to end your
goddamn miserable life.
279
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:59,256
- Come here, kid. Come here.
- The next time I see you,
you are fucking dead.
280
00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:01,842
- Get the fuck off me!
- Are you okay?
281
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:03,969
Chuck:
...fuck off me. God damn it!
282
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,938
This is fucking fantastic.
283
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:16,732
I've never seen
something like this.
284
00:14:16,732 --> 00:14:19,735
I mean, terrible--
oh, dude, you're up.
285
00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:21,987
This is a fascinating
porn collection.
286
00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:23,947
How long have I been out?
287
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:27,159
Dude, you've been out for,
like, seven hours. Here.
288
00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:29,912
The nurse said
that you were gonna sleep
for a really long time.
289
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,043
- What about Chuck?
- So Luna texted me.
290
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,545
I don't even know how
she got through to me
because I blocked her number,
291
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:42,216
but she said that Chuck
is only gonna be suspended
for 2 1/2 weeks.
292
00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:44,635
- That's it?
- Plus anger management
counseling.
293
00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:47,888
I have two weeks to live.
294
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:51,350
2 1/2 weeks actually.
So, what? Today's--
295
00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:56,188
Today's Wednesday,
so he's suspended
until the 25th.
296
00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:58,649
Aw, damn it.
That's the day of
the Homecoming dance.
297
00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:00,859
It's not like you need
another reason not to go.
298
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:04,196
You all right? Sid?
299
00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:05,739
Dude, what are
you thinking about?
300
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,407
- Sid: Death.
- I'm gonna kill you.
301
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,786
I broke my rules,
I fucked with the system,
302
00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:12,496
and this is what I deserve.
303
00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:14,998
Chuck is gonna kill me,
and who's gonna stop him?
304
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:18,794
Not the police,
not the school,
not the courts.
305
00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:20,671
No one ever has.
306
00:15:20,671 --> 00:15:23,549
Sid, you still awake?
307
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:33,892
Jim told me you two
called out sick from work.
308
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,394
You feeling okay?
309
00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:44,611
Hmm.
310
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,576
Oh, I get it. Boundaries.
311
00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:17,060
Sid: This can't be it.
This can't be how it ends.
312
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,437
I've gotta find out
where Chuck is
313
00:16:18,437 --> 00:16:19,855
and explain what happened.
314
00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:21,398
He'll understand.
315
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:22,900
Well, obviously this would
work a little bit better
316
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:25,944
if I had a banana
that wasn't quite so ripe.
317
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,863
But I can't find
the demo banana,
318
00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:28,906
so I just took this
out of my lunch.
319
00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:30,657
Dude, did you hear?
320
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,076
Chuck's parents sent him
to some anger management class
321
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,703
during his suspension
in, like, Switzerland?
322
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,079
It turns out the Swiss
323
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:38,665
are masters
of not giving a fuck.
324
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:42,085
It sounds dope, and rich,
and you can ski there.
325
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:45,088
- Maybe he'll forgive you.
- And inside the condom...
326
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:48,091
Mm, no, you're probably right.
327
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:51,386
- He's probably gonna
murder you. Sorry, dawg.
- All right, question.
328
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:55,849
What is the only 100% effective
method of contraception?
329
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:58,810
- Butt stuff.
- No, that's not it.
330
00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:00,687
- Double condoms.
- No.
331
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,314
- Dry humping.
- Abstinence.
332
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:04,608
It's written--
it's literally on
the board behind me.
333
00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:07,361
Now, Candace is your
student abstinence leader,
334
00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:10,030
so she's agreed
to share her experience
335
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,616
or, well, lack thereof.
336
00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:15,619
So, as you guys know,
337
00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:17,496
I have taken
the abstinence pledge.
338
00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:19,289
I'm in Sex Ed,
and I'm gonna die a virgin.
339
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:20,874
What are they gonna write
on my tombstone?
340
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,335
"Here lies Sid Sandagger.
He shrugged."
341
00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:25,254
What's wrong with me?
Was this really my life?
342
00:17:25,254 --> 00:17:26,964
I can't die like this.
343
00:17:26,964 --> 00:17:29,132
Is this why my moms
want me to make memories?
344
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,969
In case some psycho
with a YouTube channel
pounds me to death
345
00:17:31,969 --> 00:17:33,512
on the dance floor
at Homecoming
346
00:17:33,512 --> 00:17:36,139
to a Taylor Swift ballad?
I'm sick of it!
347
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,349
And this abstinence queen
going on
348
00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:39,142
and on and on and on
349
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,103
- and on and--
- Fuck that.
350
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:42,062
Sid?
351
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,818
- I'm sorry.
- Candace, please continue.
352
00:17:47,818 --> 00:17:51,154
I'm sorry that
I've wasted so much time
in this dumb class.
353
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:53,574
Excuse me. Sid Sandagger!
354
00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:55,325
Candace, I'm sorry for
interrupting you, but come on.
355
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,953
Be honest with yourself.
Aren't you tired of lying?
356
00:17:57,953 --> 00:18:02,916
Have you ever dealt
with unhealthy, unclean urges
357
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,294
or impure thoughts?
358
00:18:05,294 --> 00:18:07,546
At this very moment.
359
00:18:07,546 --> 00:18:10,716
Do you know what I think about
on a daily basis?
360
00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:12,384
It would traumatize you.
361
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:13,844
And then I search it
on the internet,
362
00:18:13,844 --> 00:18:14,970
and it exists
and there's porn for it.
363
00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:16,388
That means I'm not alone.
364
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:18,765
You're probably horny
all the time, too!
365
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,226
- Actually--
- It's okay, Candace!
366
00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:23,520
You can admit to flicking it
every now and again.
367
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,398
- No one's gonna crucify you.
- Dude, I don't know
what you're doing,
368
00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:28,984
- but please keep going.
- I'm horny.
369
00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:30,819
You are horny!
370
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:33,697
Everyone in this room is horny!
371
00:18:33,697 --> 00:18:35,490
Like, what's the big deal?
372
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:38,994
It takes a slight breeze,
and I am hard as a rock!
373
00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:40,245
All right, Sandagger,
lock it up.
374
00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:41,788
Come on, Dr. Capanna.
375
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,999
This is Sex Ed,
for crying out loud.
376
00:18:43,999 --> 00:18:45,792
How can you just stand there
377
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,504
and let this girl
make us all feel badly
378
00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:51,215
for having completely normal
sexual appetites?
379
00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:53,383
- How do you sleep at night?
- Yeah, I don't.
380
00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:56,803
I have really bad apnea.
381
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,723
- It's not because of this.
- Why?
382
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:03,018
Why do we all have to pretend
383
00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:04,645
that we don't
want to fuck each other
384
00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,230
six ways to the weekend?
385
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:08,106
We should embrace it!
386
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:09,650
For crying out loud,
387
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:11,777
I can see Dave Guggenheim's
boner from here.
388
00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:15,239
And you know what?
I love your boner, Dave.
389
00:19:15,239 --> 00:19:17,950
- Because Dave's boner
is in all of us.
- Yeah.
390
00:19:17,950 --> 00:19:21,828
- We are all Dave's boner!
- Yeah.
391
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:25,457
And I'm not gonna sit here
and let you make everyone
in this room feel bad
392
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:29,127
- for having completely normal
sexual appetites.
- Yeah!
393
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:34,258
My name is Sidney Sandagger,
394
00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:37,511
and I once put a Sharpie
inside of my own butthole.
395
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,811
- I humped a melon.
- Okay, Guggenheim!
396
00:19:45,811 --> 00:19:48,564
I cut a hole in it,
and I microwaved it,
and then I humped it.
397
00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:50,774
Hell yeah, man.
That is disgusting.
398
00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:53,694
Okay, don't encourage him.
That's a UTI waiting to happen.
399
00:19:53,694 --> 00:19:56,029
I get off to porn
of guys doing it
with other guys.
400
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,157
- Sit down!
- I use my electric toothbrush
as a vibrator.
401
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:00,909
My boyfriend and I
are into macrophilia.
402
00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:02,953
I have a reoccurring sex dream
about Elizabeth Warren.
403
00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:05,205
I have vertical balls!
404
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,124
Oh.
405
00:20:07,124 --> 00:20:09,501
Like,
instead of a left one
and a right one,
406
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:11,795
I have an upstairs
and a downstairs.
407
00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:13,547
It's like two-thirds
a snowman.
408
00:20:13,547 --> 00:20:16,175
It goes pickle, potato,
potato, cinnamon doughnut.
409
00:20:16,175 --> 00:20:19,052
That is so hot.
410
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,888
Okay, all right, all right.
411
00:20:20,888 --> 00:20:24,016
Warner, Sandagger,
Guggenheim, okay.
Oh, God damn it.
412
00:20:24,016 --> 00:20:25,893
- No one's taking home condoms.
- Sid, Sid.
413
00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:31,106
Sid, dude!
Dude, what the hell was that?
414
00:20:31,106 --> 00:20:34,318
- I don't know.
- Dude, that was brilliant!
415
00:20:34,318 --> 00:20:36,737
- Come on! Say something!
- I don't know, man.
416
00:20:36,737 --> 00:20:38,488
Dude, that was
fucking incredible!
417
00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:40,741
Like, fuck every
other revolutionary
that's come before you.
418
00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:43,535
Like, you are the Messiah.
You are Jesus returning.
419
00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:44,912
Candace should've
fucking recognized that.
420
00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:46,788
Like, you are
the king-fucking-penis.
421
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:49,333
Your schlong definitely
grew three inches from that.
422
00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:51,335
Whatever it is that
made it click for you,
423
00:20:51,335 --> 00:20:53,462
- that's what we gotta
tell everyone about.
- What?
424
00:20:53,462 --> 00:20:55,756
Oh, my God. Sid, we're gonna
get so much pussy from this.
425
00:20:55,756 --> 00:20:58,175
I was so inspired.
I feel liberated!
426
00:20:58,175 --> 00:21:00,552
Like, this is how...
427
00:21:03,764 --> 00:21:06,350
- Sid: Who is this?
- Jim: Hugh Hefner would be
so proud of you,
428
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:07,935
may his soul rest
in fucking peace.
429
00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:09,770
Like, he would be so happy.
430
00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:12,564
I'm going home
and I'm trying that...
431
00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:20,447
- ...like vagina juice.
- Sid: What's next?
432
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,574
- That's fucking brilliant!
- How the hell should I know?
433
00:21:22,574 --> 00:21:23,659
It's so DIY, and, like...
434
00:21:26,203 --> 00:21:28,997
I've never really
thought about it before.
435
00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:30,582
I mean, I don't think
I want to deliver pizzas
436
00:21:30,582 --> 00:21:32,584
with Jim
for the rest of my life,
437
00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:34,962
but I'm a senior
in high school.
438
00:21:34,962 --> 00:21:36,922
I don't even know
what I wanna wear tomorrow.
439
00:21:38,382 --> 00:21:41,718
What if I die, Jim?
What if I die?
440
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:45,597
What are you talk--
Chuck isn't gonna kill you.
441
00:21:45,597 --> 00:21:49,601
Dude, he beat a kid
nearly to death,
442
00:21:49,601 --> 00:21:51,186
and he's been beating
people ever since.
443
00:21:51,186 --> 00:21:53,146
It's not like he's
getting any worse at it.
444
00:21:54,189 --> 00:21:56,441
Oh, God. Two weeks.
445
00:21:58,402 --> 00:21:59,820
What if this is it?
446
00:22:01,613 --> 00:22:03,156
Oh, that is just so sad.
447
00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:05,617
Look, Chuck isn't
gonna kill you, dawg.
448
00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:09,204
- I'll protect you.
- Yeah, sure, you will.
449
00:22:09,204 --> 00:22:11,415
Unless he offers
to let you be in one
of his fucking videos.
450
00:22:11,415 --> 00:22:13,834
You think he'd ever
let me be in one?
451
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:17,129
- Fuck you, man.
- I'm kidding.
452
00:22:17,129 --> 00:22:21,842
But, like, let's say
for a second that Chuck
might actually kill you,
453
00:22:21,842 --> 00:22:26,430
which I'll admit
is a possibility because
he does have a record.
454
00:22:26,430 --> 00:22:28,849
So in this hypothetical world,
455
00:22:28,849 --> 00:22:30,934
then you got two weeks
left to live.
456
00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:32,895
What do you wanna do?
457
00:22:38,025 --> 00:22:38,984
That.
458
00:22:40,152 --> 00:22:42,404
Skip rocks?
459
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:46,241
No, live.
460
00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:48,243
I wanna fucking live.
461
00:22:48,243 --> 00:22:50,204
What do you mean?
462
00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:54,791
Sidney, where has
that Sharpie been?
463
00:22:56,710 --> 00:23:01,048
Sid, what are you doing?
464
00:23:01,048 --> 00:23:03,091
"Win at some--"
465
00:23:03,091 --> 00:23:04,885
What does that even mean?
466
00:23:04,885 --> 00:23:08,472
I don't know.
I have no idea.
467
00:23:08,472 --> 00:23:11,266
But I'm not gonna,
like, you know,
468
00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:14,978
get a promotion
or start a company
469
00:23:14,978 --> 00:23:18,065
or have a fling
with some foreign girl
on a train in Europe.
470
00:23:18,065 --> 00:23:20,692
Everything that
you do in life,
471
00:23:20,692 --> 00:23:23,403
everything that makes life good,
I have to do it right now.
472
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:28,116
I don't want just some memories.
I want all the memories.
473
00:23:30,494 --> 00:23:31,662
"Know real love."
474
00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:35,666
Are you gonna die a virgin?
475
00:23:42,214 --> 00:23:46,301
Yeah! That's my boy!
Let's go!
476
00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:48,512
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
477
00:23:50,973 --> 00:23:55,561
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
478
00:23:55,561 --> 00:23:57,521
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
479
00:23:57,521 --> 00:23:59,731
Dude, that sounds insane.
480
00:23:59,731 --> 00:24:01,817
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
481
00:24:01,817 --> 00:24:05,070
So you're gonna do
all of this in two weeks?
482
00:24:06,947 --> 00:24:09,783
Yeah. What have I got to lose?
483
00:24:14,955 --> 00:24:18,750
Hey! You want some dinner?
484
00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:23,547
Stay impenetrably silent
if you love your mothers.
485
00:24:23,547 --> 00:24:25,340
- Both: Yes!
- ♪ You're gonna hit ♪
486
00:24:25,340 --> 00:24:28,135
♪ Your back side
when your roll out ♪
487
00:24:28,135 --> 00:24:30,012
♪ I know I used
to roll the dice ♪
488
00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:31,972
♪ Till I slowed down ♪
489
00:24:31,972 --> 00:24:33,724
♪ I hope you
hit your back side ♪
490
00:24:33,724 --> 00:24:35,350
♪ Hit your backside ♪
491
00:24:35,350 --> 00:24:36,852
♪ When you roll out ♪
492
00:24:48,363 --> 00:24:52,159
♪ Don't start, don't start ♪
493
00:24:52,159 --> 00:24:54,161
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
494
00:24:54,161 --> 00:24:56,121
- What's up, dude?
- Hey.
495
00:24:57,372 --> 00:24:59,791
Girl: Hey, Sid.
496
00:24:59,791 --> 00:25:03,587
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
497
00:25:03,587 --> 00:25:06,798
Dude! Sid, dude,
everyone is talking about
498
00:25:06,798 --> 00:25:08,842
your "I'm Boner Spartacus" bit
in Sex Ed yesterday.
499
00:25:08,842 --> 00:25:10,511
- Like, in a good way?
- Yes, like, in a fucking ama--
500
00:25:10,511 --> 00:25:13,388
- Jim! Jim.
- Oh, my God.
501
00:25:13,388 --> 00:25:15,015
Luna, what the fuck
do you want?
502
00:25:15,015 --> 00:25:17,142
I don't remember saying
Beetlejuice three times.
503
00:25:17,142 --> 00:25:18,977
Ha, ha, ha.
You're so funny, Jim.
504
00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:20,938
We need to buy tickets
for Homecoming,
505
00:25:20,938 --> 00:25:22,814
and you have to pay
for them, so...
506
00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:25,025
Well, make sure you tell that
to the Japanese sex robot
507
00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:26,485
that you get to take you
to the dance,
508
00:25:26,485 --> 00:25:28,445
'cause I'm not going
with you, Luna.
509
00:25:28,445 --> 00:25:30,822
Dude, dude, dude, dude.
Incoming heatseekers inbound.
510
00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:31,865
- What?
- Hey.
511
00:25:33,784 --> 00:25:35,827
Holy shit.
512
00:25:35,827 --> 00:25:38,956
Oh, please, God,
let Tiff Mann be
my secret texter.
513
00:25:38,956 --> 00:25:40,832
Uh, hey. Hey.
514
00:25:40,832 --> 00:25:44,753
- I'm Tiff.
- Oh, I know.
515
00:25:44,753 --> 00:25:49,925
Um, listen, I just wanted
to say I'm really sorry
about what Chuck did to you.
516
00:25:49,925 --> 00:25:53,220
Oh, no, that's--
517
00:25:53,220 --> 00:25:55,055
that's, uh-- he's--
518
00:25:55,055 --> 00:25:57,307
- that's okay.
- No, it's not okay.
519
00:25:57,307 --> 00:25:59,643
His parents say that
he has impulsivity issues,
520
00:25:59,643 --> 00:26:03,063
but I think he can
just be a dick sometimes.
521
00:26:03,063 --> 00:26:05,858
Yeah, yeah.
522
00:26:05,858 --> 00:26:10,070
Also are you going to
go the game tonight?
523
00:26:10,070 --> 00:26:12,823
He'll be there,
and so will I.
524
00:26:16,285 --> 00:26:18,704
Now is probably a good time
to talk about hockey.
525
00:26:18,704 --> 00:26:20,289
Let me see you get it in net.
526
00:26:20,289 --> 00:26:22,332
Hockey is a pretty
big deal in Eastland.
527
00:26:22,332 --> 00:26:24,418
- Let's get it in!
- Score a goal,
528
00:26:24,418 --> 00:26:27,546
and you get to feel
what it's like to be a god.
529
00:26:27,546 --> 00:26:30,090
Brad passes it to Worsham.
And he goes for the shot.
530
00:26:30,090 --> 00:26:35,762
He shoots. He scores!
531
00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:38,098
You know who knows that
feeling better than anyone?
532
00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:41,226
- Whoo!
- Eric Worsham.
533
00:26:41,226 --> 00:26:43,478
Eric, Eric, Eric!
534
00:26:43,478 --> 00:26:45,939
Eric is like a king
in Eastland.
535
00:26:45,939 --> 00:26:49,902
Face-off at center ice!
536
00:26:49,902 --> 00:26:52,196
Good move, man.
Good move, Eric. Come on!
537
00:26:52,196 --> 00:26:55,324
But heavy is the head
that wears the helmet.
538
00:26:55,324 --> 00:26:58,160
Eric has to be perfect,
because if he's not...
539
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,954
Move your fucking feet!
Come on!
540
00:27:00,954 --> 00:27:04,917
...he gets to enjoy
a lifetime of pain
and humiliation.
541
00:27:04,917 --> 00:27:08,128
And they're alone!
542
00:27:08,128 --> 00:27:13,091
And just like that,
the Fighting Spirits have
sent this game into overtime.
543
00:27:13,091 --> 00:27:15,719
Get the fuck up,
you fucking piece of shit!
544
00:27:15,719 --> 00:27:18,263
Eric, that goal!
That's on you!
545
00:27:18,263 --> 00:27:20,349
And Coach Worsham expressing
his frustrations
546
00:27:20,349 --> 00:27:22,935
as they make their way
to the locker room.
547
00:27:22,935 --> 00:27:25,479
I wouldn't wanna be
at that dinner table tonight.
548
00:27:25,479 --> 00:27:26,939
Oh, yeah.
Did I forget to mention?
549
00:27:26,939 --> 00:27:29,816
That psycho coach?
Also Eric's dad.
550
00:27:29,816 --> 00:27:32,945
You know what you are?
I can't even say the word
551
00:27:32,945 --> 00:27:35,405
because the school board
won't let me call you
"pussies" anymore.
552
00:27:35,405 --> 00:27:37,658
You pissed away the last period.
553
00:27:37,658 --> 00:27:39,660
God damn, look at me when
I'm fucking talking to you!
554
00:27:39,660 --> 00:27:41,954
Beat the fuck out of someone
out there, okay?
555
00:27:41,954 --> 00:27:44,164
Like we're back
in fucking 'Nam!
556
00:27:44,164 --> 00:27:46,208
What have I got,
a bunch of pacifists?
557
00:27:46,208 --> 00:27:48,877
Or do I have me some warriors
in this fucking room?
558
00:27:48,877 --> 00:27:52,172
Now, I love you boys.
You know I do.
559
00:27:52,172 --> 00:27:54,883
On three. One, two, three!
560
00:27:54,883 --> 00:27:57,177
- Go, Frogs!
- Whoo! Go, Frogs!
561
00:27:57,177 --> 00:27:59,346
Come on, guys.
Let's go, come on.
562
00:27:59,346 --> 00:28:02,724
Come on, boys, let's go.
Get out there and fucking win.
563
00:28:02,724 --> 00:28:05,185
Come on!
I love you guys.
564
00:28:05,185 --> 00:28:08,522
Get out there, play hard,
play fast.
565
00:28:08,522 --> 00:28:10,315
Come on, guys.
Let's go, come on.
566
00:28:25,581 --> 00:28:26,832
You don't have go out there.
567
00:28:28,792 --> 00:28:30,961
What the hell
are you talking about, man?
568
00:28:30,961 --> 00:28:32,421
Say you go out there, right?
569
00:28:32,421 --> 00:28:34,089
And you do whatever
the hell it was
570
00:28:34,089 --> 00:28:36,550
your dad was screaming about,
and you win the game,
571
00:28:36,550 --> 00:28:38,385
and you win
a lot more games, right?
572
00:28:38,385 --> 00:28:41,054
You get a scholarship,
and now you're playing NCAA.
573
00:28:41,054 --> 00:28:42,764
And you do really well there.
574
00:28:42,764 --> 00:28:45,058
And now you're playing
in the NHL.
575
00:28:45,058 --> 00:28:48,228
And now you have fans
and money and women
576
00:28:48,228 --> 00:28:49,771
and you might even win
the Franklin Cup.
577
00:28:49,771 --> 00:28:51,565
- Stanley.
- The Stanley Cup.
578
00:28:53,609 --> 00:28:56,153
But you'll still be miserable,
579
00:28:56,153 --> 00:29:00,240
because you're not
playing to win.
580
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,409
You're playing not to lose.
581
00:29:04,620 --> 00:29:06,246
- I don't know.
- I know what it's like
582
00:29:06,246 --> 00:29:07,247
to live your life
the way you do
583
00:29:07,247 --> 00:29:09,374
because you're afraid.
584
00:29:09,374 --> 00:29:12,252
I used to hide
in all kinds of places.
585
00:29:12,252 --> 00:29:16,381
- You hide in here.
- I gotta get back out there.
586
00:29:20,052 --> 00:29:21,220
No, you don't.
587
00:29:23,555 --> 00:29:26,058
Crowd: Let's go, Frogs!
Let's go, Frogs!
588
00:29:26,058 --> 00:29:29,436
Sid: Turns out jockstraps
are super uncomfortable,
589
00:29:29,436 --> 00:29:31,855
especially when you're using
somebody else's.
590
00:29:31,855 --> 00:29:35,567
And we got Eric Worsham
returning to the ice.
591
00:29:35,567 --> 00:29:37,653
Looks like he took
a few extra minutes of rest,
592
00:29:37,653 --> 00:29:39,530
and he'll need it against
these Fighting Spirits.
593
00:29:40,572 --> 00:29:42,407
And face-off at center ice.
594
00:29:42,407 --> 00:29:44,201
The drop!
595
00:29:46,870 --> 00:29:49,998
Eric Worsham going offsides.
596
00:29:49,998 --> 00:29:52,501
Ooh, you don't see that
from Worsham every day.
597
00:29:52,501 --> 00:29:55,671
- Uh, we've got a face-off
deep in the Frog territory.
- I'm good, bro.
598
00:29:55,671 --> 00:29:58,507
Jim: There's the drop!
Worsham has got the puck.
599
00:29:58,507 --> 00:30:01,593
Oh! Worsham is pounded by
the Spirits, and he's down.
600
00:30:01,593 --> 00:30:02,970
Coach:
Get your fucking heads
in the game, kids.
601
00:30:02,970 --> 00:30:04,096
Jim: Looks like
that'll leave a mark.
602
00:30:04,096 --> 00:30:05,472
Coach:
Come on, let's go, boys.
603
00:30:05,472 --> 00:30:08,225
Let's go! God damn it.
604
00:30:08,225 --> 00:30:09,852
What the fuck are you doing?
605
00:30:09,852 --> 00:30:12,479
You cock-sucking
son of a fucking bitch.
606
00:30:15,107 --> 00:30:18,485
Sid: And then I remembered
why I was here.
607
00:30:18,485 --> 00:30:21,113
For in the realm of the dead,
where I'm going,
608
00:30:21,113 --> 00:30:23,240
I wanna be able
to talk about this shit.
609
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:24,992
The Frogs lining up
with the Fighting Spirits
610
00:30:24,992 --> 00:30:28,203
- in striking distance.
- Let's go, E.
611
00:30:28,203 --> 00:30:30,914
Referee: All right, boys,
sticks down, face-off.
612
00:30:30,914 --> 00:30:34,793
Jim: And the puck is down.
613
00:30:34,793 --> 00:30:38,714
Oh! With a huge collision
on center ice.
614
00:30:38,714 --> 00:30:40,007
Worsham now has the puck.
615
00:30:43,093 --> 00:30:44,928
Fuck fear.
616
00:30:44,928 --> 00:30:46,889
I've been doing a lot
of avoiding in my life.
617
00:30:46,889 --> 00:30:48,891
Time to put it to good use.
618
00:30:48,891 --> 00:30:51,894
- Jim: Oh, he dodges!
- Come on!
619
00:30:51,894 --> 00:30:53,812
Jim: He's getting close
to the goal!
620
00:31:00,402 --> 00:31:02,946
With a spin like a ballerina!
621
00:31:04,239 --> 00:31:05,741
He shoots!
622
00:31:05,741 --> 00:31:07,743
No fear, motherfucker!
623
00:31:07,743 --> 00:31:08,994
He scores!
624
00:31:10,454 --> 00:31:14,124
Eric Worsham brings
the Frogs to victory!
625
00:31:14,124 --> 00:31:17,544
Crowd:
Eric, Eric, Eric!
626
00:31:17,544 --> 00:31:21,965
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
627
00:31:27,304 --> 00:31:31,141
- Sid.
- What the fuck?
628
00:31:31,141 --> 00:31:35,771
Sid? Is that the guy that shoved
the sharpie up his asshole?
629
00:31:35,771 --> 00:31:38,857
Um, correction,
that goal was scored by,
630
00:31:38,857 --> 00:31:40,859
and I can't believe
I'm saying this,
631
00:31:40,859 --> 00:31:45,405
my best friend Sid Sandagger!
632
00:31:52,079 --> 00:31:56,083
He's 160 pounds
of pure sexual energy,
633
00:31:56,083 --> 00:31:57,835
and he's very, very single!
634
00:31:57,835 --> 00:31:59,419
Go, Sid!
635
00:32:03,674 --> 00:32:07,553
Hey. Who the fuck are you?
636
00:32:07,553 --> 00:32:10,806
I'm a friend of your son's,
I guess?
637
00:32:10,806 --> 00:32:13,267
I clean the jockstraps.
I give them--
I'm, like, their penis--
638
00:32:13,267 --> 00:32:15,227
Where the fuck
did you learn that thing?
639
00:32:15,227 --> 00:32:18,438
I, um-- I...
640
00:32:18,438 --> 00:32:22,192
Fantastic Figure Skating
for Fabulous Five-Year-Olds.
641
00:32:24,027 --> 00:32:25,070
Can you be
at practice tomorrow?
642
00:32:27,030 --> 00:32:28,740
Yeah.
643
00:32:28,740 --> 00:32:31,410
Yes, sir. Yes, coach.
644
00:33:43,690 --> 00:33:45,192
Jim: I don't know
what you did to Eric,
645
00:33:45,192 --> 00:33:48,695
but that was some
serious Jedi voodoo shit.
646
00:33:48,695 --> 00:33:51,156
He was just afraid.
I used to live like that.
647
00:33:51,156 --> 00:33:54,576
- Dude, he quit hockey.
He joined the dance team.
- Good for him.
648
00:33:54,576 --> 00:33:56,870
- Yo, what up, Sid?
- What's up, Sandagger?
649
00:34:00,707 --> 00:34:01,834
Who are you?
650
00:34:03,669 --> 00:34:04,711
Moving on.
651
00:34:04,711 --> 00:34:06,129
With Arlene in the hospital
652
00:34:06,129 --> 00:34:08,382
for her
Seasonal Affective Disorder,
653
00:34:08,382 --> 00:34:10,050
I will be assuming
the role of interim
654
00:34:10,050 --> 00:34:11,343
student body president.
655
00:34:11,343 --> 00:34:13,345
However,
according to school bylaws,
656
00:34:13,345 --> 00:34:14,930
we will hold a special election
657
00:34:14,930 --> 00:34:16,723
to determine
a permanent replacement
658
00:34:16,723 --> 00:34:18,851
for the remainder
of the year.
659
00:34:18,851 --> 00:34:21,019
Obviously, I will need
a vice-president to run with.
660
00:34:21,019 --> 00:34:24,565
You'll be working with me,
designing campaign signs,
661
00:34:24,565 --> 00:34:28,735
ironing out our platform,
and of course, debating
alongside me in three days.
662
00:34:28,735 --> 00:34:33,699
Expect long, gruesome hours
and a whole lot of fun.
663
00:34:33,699 --> 00:34:35,742
Now, raise your hand
664
00:34:35,742 --> 00:34:36,910
if you'd like
to be considered.
665
00:34:40,747 --> 00:34:42,958
Sid: You know, I'm not sure
when it became cool
666
00:34:42,958 --> 00:34:46,795
to hate on Megan Waters,
or even why, really.
667
00:34:46,795 --> 00:34:48,755
But a few months ago,
some kid started
a FarmersOnly account
668
00:34:48,755 --> 00:34:51,175
and posted pictures of her
with a bunch of dicks
669
00:34:51,175 --> 00:34:52,676
and other stuff
flying around.
670
00:34:52,676 --> 00:34:54,928
People can be such jerks.
671
00:34:54,928 --> 00:34:57,389
And when do they decide
that's the one
we're gonna torture?
672
00:34:57,389 --> 00:35:00,601
That's the one
that we're gonna make
feel like shit?
673
00:35:00,601 --> 00:35:02,519
It isn't right.
674
00:35:05,606 --> 00:35:07,399
Great.
675
00:35:07,399 --> 00:35:08,984
I'll give you guys
some time to think it over
676
00:35:08,984 --> 00:35:10,485
and I'll put a sign-up sheet
on the door.
677
00:35:10,485 --> 00:35:13,572
Meeting adjourned.
678
00:35:13,572 --> 00:35:16,325
Before I die, I said
I'd fuck up the system.
679
00:35:16,325 --> 00:35:18,994
Helping Megan Waters
just might be the way.
680
00:35:18,994 --> 00:35:21,330
- Hey, Megan.
- Hey, Sid.
681
00:35:21,330 --> 00:35:23,165
About the whole
vice-president thing?
682
00:35:23,165 --> 00:35:24,791
I'm sure that
I'll find somebody.
683
00:35:24,791 --> 00:35:27,961
I would--
I would love to run with you.
684
00:35:29,588 --> 00:35:32,424
- Really?
- Yeah. Why not?
685
00:35:32,424 --> 00:35:35,219
Well, I should probably vet you
against the other candidates
686
00:35:35,219 --> 00:35:36,762
before I make
any final decisions.
687
00:35:40,390 --> 00:35:42,768
Right. Welcome to the ticket.
688
00:35:44,811 --> 00:35:47,022
I've never really done drugs.
689
00:35:47,022 --> 00:35:49,107
Oh, except in sixth grade
when I took two Tylenol
690
00:35:49,107 --> 00:35:50,817
and drank
three Diet Dr Peppers
691
00:35:50,817 --> 00:35:53,237
and ended up riding
the mammoth at the museum.
692
00:35:53,237 --> 00:35:55,447
Haven't really
experimented since.
693
00:35:55,447 --> 00:35:58,450
This is the shit you want.
You ever spent
the night with molly?
694
00:35:58,450 --> 00:36:01,036
Uh, spent what?
695
00:36:01,036 --> 00:36:02,329
Oh, yeah. No.
696
00:36:02,329 --> 00:36:04,623
Um, what is molly exactly?
697
00:36:04,623 --> 00:36:06,667
You ever been rolling
down a hill in the ice
698
00:36:06,667 --> 00:36:08,794
but felt really hot
in your soul?
699
00:36:08,794 --> 00:36:13,298
Um, no.
700
00:36:13,298 --> 00:36:15,467
It's, like, spiritual.
701
00:36:15,467 --> 00:36:17,678
The real you comes out.
702
00:36:17,678 --> 00:36:18,762
You're gonna trip balls.
703
00:36:18,762 --> 00:36:21,265
Cool. Sweet.
704
00:36:21,265 --> 00:36:22,850
Um, how much do I owe you?
705
00:36:22,850 --> 00:36:27,479
- How much you want?
- Just a few... bits.
706
00:36:27,479 --> 00:36:30,065
- Bits?
- Pieces? I don't know.
707
00:36:30,065 --> 00:36:32,484
Just a handful.
I don't-- what--
708
00:36:32,484 --> 00:36:34,069
Just enough
to have a good time.
709
00:36:34,069 --> 00:36:36,947
- 80.
- 80. Cool.
710
00:36:36,947 --> 00:36:39,867
Usually, I'd be
saving this money for,
I don't know, my future?
711
00:36:39,867 --> 00:36:41,493
That's the nice thing
about imminent death.
712
00:36:41,493 --> 00:36:43,495
It makes financial planning
a lot easier.
713
00:36:43,495 --> 00:36:46,790
But don't take more
than half a pill at a time.
714
00:36:46,790 --> 00:36:47,791
- Half a pill?
- Yeah.
715
00:36:47,791 --> 00:36:49,835
Got it. Okay.
716
00:36:49,835 --> 00:36:54,298
- Minty fresh.
Just like this shit.
- Thank you.
717
00:36:54,298 --> 00:36:56,300
You think that Candace chick
would be down to hump?
718
00:36:56,300 --> 00:36:59,720
The abstinence cop? No.
719
00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:01,346
No, man,
I don't think she is.
720
00:37:03,307 --> 00:37:05,184
I might be catching
feelings for her.
721
00:37:05,184 --> 00:37:06,476
That's too bad, man.
722
00:37:12,065 --> 00:37:15,652
You know what, Dave?
Why wait?
723
00:37:15,652 --> 00:37:18,113
If not now, then when, right?
724
00:37:18,113 --> 00:37:20,949
- Boner bros.
- Boner bros.
725
00:37:23,410 --> 00:37:25,162
Like, a lot of puss.
726
00:37:25,162 --> 00:37:27,748
Oh, dude,
the Frakas twins are having
a party this weekend.
727
00:37:27,748 --> 00:37:30,167
- We gotta go.
- Sweet. What kind of party?
728
00:37:30,167 --> 00:37:32,794
Aw, dude,
it's a wine-tasting party.
729
00:37:32,794 --> 00:37:36,590
They got Austrian whites,
they got a sommelier coming.
730
00:37:36,590 --> 00:37:39,885
I mean, he's gonna-- I mean--
what do you think kind of party?
731
00:37:39,885 --> 00:37:41,345
Yeah, dude.
Whatever, I'm in.
732
00:37:41,345 --> 00:37:42,930
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
733
00:37:42,930 --> 00:37:46,058
Fuck yes, dude!
That's what I'm talking about.
734
00:37:46,058 --> 00:37:47,476
Dude, I thought I was
gonna have to sell that.
735
00:37:47,476 --> 00:37:49,561
Like, for real,
I had this whole thing prepared
736
00:37:49,561 --> 00:37:52,564
about how if we both hook up,
we would be brothers.
737
00:37:52,564 --> 00:37:53,774
Like, not that
we're not already brothers,
738
00:37:53,774 --> 00:37:55,776
but we would be like
boner brothers.
739
00:37:55,776 --> 00:37:59,071
Oh, dude, I'm so sorry,
but Dave Guggenheim
already called that.
740
00:38:14,294 --> 00:38:16,964
You know, I always suspected
Tiff Mann was an angel,
741
00:38:16,964 --> 00:38:18,966
but am I really
falling in love
742
00:38:18,966 --> 00:38:22,386
with an honest to goodness
celestial being?
743
00:38:22,386 --> 00:38:24,930
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, were you
masturbating again?
744
00:38:24,930 --> 00:38:26,974
- What? No!
- That's okay.
745
00:38:26,974 --> 00:38:28,392
Masturbation promotes health.
746
00:38:28,392 --> 00:38:30,060
That's why grandma's
never had the flu.
747
00:38:30,060 --> 00:38:32,104
- Can I help you guys?
- Well, when you are a parent,
748
00:38:32,104 --> 00:38:36,358
and your son's Sex Ed teacher
Dr. Capanna calls you
749
00:38:36,358 --> 00:38:38,652
and tells you that your son
has flipped out in class...
750
00:38:38,652 --> 00:38:41,738
Dr. Capanna, by the way,
sounds like the biggest moron.
751
00:38:41,738 --> 00:38:45,617
But also, if your son,
say, mysteriously ends up
752
00:38:45,617 --> 00:38:48,787
on the cable access
sports channel pucking a goal,
753
00:38:48,787 --> 00:38:51,832
we have no choice
but to get very invasive
754
00:38:51,832 --> 00:38:54,251
and ask what exactly
is going on?
755
00:38:54,251 --> 00:38:56,170
- I'm fine.
- Do you know what?
756
00:38:56,170 --> 00:38:57,504
- You don't look fine.
- Mm-mm.
757
00:38:57,504 --> 00:39:00,591
I had teeny little
mishap at school.
758
00:39:00,591 --> 00:39:01,884
- With a girl?
- No.
759
00:39:01,884 --> 00:39:03,886
- With Dr. Capanna?
- No.
760
00:39:06,471 --> 00:39:10,392
Okay, well,
if you change your mind,
you know where to find us.
761
00:39:18,233 --> 00:39:20,152
- Friday.
- Hmm?
762
00:39:20,152 --> 00:39:23,197
I have another game on Friday.
763
00:39:23,197 --> 00:39:26,950
And I am going to
Homecoming next week.
764
00:39:28,744 --> 00:39:31,121
Do you want us
to ask a girl out for you?
765
00:39:31,121 --> 00:39:33,081
Because we are good at that.
766
00:39:33,081 --> 00:39:35,918
No thank you, no.
767
00:39:47,888 --> 00:39:50,098
Well, all right.
768
00:39:50,098 --> 00:39:51,892
It appears as though
I am not the only one
769
00:39:51,892 --> 00:39:53,310
who is fucking up
the system nowadays.
770
00:39:53,310 --> 00:39:56,897
Whoo!
771
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,067
Hey, take five, guys.
What's up?
772
00:40:00,067 --> 00:40:01,610
- What's up, man?
- How you doing?
773
00:40:01,610 --> 00:40:02,819
I'd heard you joined
the dance team.
774
00:40:02,819 --> 00:40:04,613
That's-- that was--
that was awesome.
775
00:40:04,613 --> 00:40:07,157
- Hey, nice goal
the other night.
- Thanks, man.
776
00:40:07,157 --> 00:40:08,742
Hey, I wanted to
tell you something.
777
00:40:08,742 --> 00:40:13,914
Um, just thank you
for talking to me
the other night.
778
00:40:13,914 --> 00:40:15,707
I feel like
I'm finally having fun
in high school.
779
00:40:15,707 --> 00:40:17,709
- I'm happy for you, man.
- I should get back there,
780
00:40:17,709 --> 00:40:21,171
- but have a good game Friday.
- Careful on those backflips.
781
00:40:21,171 --> 00:40:23,966
- Hey, don't let my dad
ride you too hard.
- I won't!
782
00:40:23,966 --> 00:40:28,470
- See you around, Sid.
Let's go again.
- All right! Okay, one...
783
00:40:33,934 --> 00:40:35,519
Good God, understudy,
784
00:40:35,519 --> 00:40:37,145
I cannot wait
to kiss that mouth.
785
00:40:37,145 --> 00:40:40,482
It's, like, the hottest
face hole I've ever seen.
786
00:40:40,482 --> 00:40:41,525
God.
787
00:40:41,525 --> 00:40:42,985
Only a total tool
788
00:40:42,985 --> 00:40:44,027
would call Tiff Mann's
789
00:40:44,027 --> 00:40:45,988
perfect lips a face hole.
790
00:40:45,988 --> 00:40:49,157
Then again, Erwin Mueller
is a total tool.
791
00:40:49,157 --> 00:40:52,077
Voice on PA:
This time with lights, please.
Thank you.
792
00:40:52,077 --> 00:40:57,457
♪ Me, alive ♪
793
00:40:57,457 --> 00:41:02,087
♪ You make me alive ♪
794
00:41:04,798 --> 00:41:10,429
♪ A final kiss
before I burn your body ♪
795
00:41:10,429 --> 00:41:14,308
Also, what the fuck
even is this show?
796
00:41:14,308 --> 00:41:16,351
Megan: 'Cause we know that
Olivia's gonna go after
797
00:41:16,351 --> 00:41:18,770
those one-issue
plastic straw voters,
798
00:41:18,770 --> 00:41:20,647
who aren't even informed,
and they don't even know
799
00:41:20,647 --> 00:41:22,357
that it's landfills
that are causing
800
00:41:22,357 --> 00:41:25,152
the most pollution
in our entire planet.
801
00:41:25,152 --> 00:41:26,778
But we have to appeal to them.
802
00:41:26,778 --> 00:41:28,947
We have to appeal
to that dumb demographic.
803
00:41:28,947 --> 00:41:31,366
Hey!
You know, that's really rude,
804
00:41:31,366 --> 00:41:33,452
to just rifle through
people's things?
805
00:41:33,452 --> 00:41:36,371
What is it? Is it, like,
a diary or a journal?
806
00:41:36,371 --> 00:41:38,790
Is it a hit list?
Are you an assassin?
807
00:41:38,790 --> 00:41:43,921
It sounds stupid,
but I write poetry sometimes.
808
00:41:43,921 --> 00:41:46,340
- Can I hear one?
- No.
809
00:41:46,340 --> 00:41:48,050
- Please?
- No.
810
00:41:57,267 --> 00:41:59,770
Look, it's...
811
00:42:01,396 --> 00:42:02,523
I'm still fixing them.
812
00:42:09,947 --> 00:42:12,658
Rainbows contain
all of the colors,
813
00:42:12,658 --> 00:42:16,411
but white light contains all
of the colors of the rainbow.
814
00:42:16,411 --> 00:42:20,082
I am the white light
on a cold night.
815
00:42:20,082 --> 00:42:21,667
And if you look just right,
816
00:42:21,667 --> 00:42:26,171
you will see all
of the colors inside of me.
817
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,843
There.
Now we can get back
to recycling.
818
00:42:30,843 --> 00:42:33,428
- That was great.
- You don't have to like it.
819
00:42:33,428 --> 00:42:37,432
- I know.
- You know, I've never actually
820
00:42:37,432 --> 00:42:39,768
read one of my poems out loud.
821
00:42:39,768 --> 00:42:45,232
Normally when
I try to talk to people,
they just walk away.
822
00:42:45,232 --> 00:42:49,486
Megan, I'm sorry
that I never stuck up for you
in student council.
823
00:42:49,486 --> 00:42:51,196
- It's fine.
- It's not.
824
00:42:51,196 --> 00:42:53,448
It's not. I'm sorry.
825
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:58,662
Okay, we really need
a stronger stance on cardboard.
826
00:42:58,662 --> 00:43:02,124
Let's just take a break.
827
00:43:03,417 --> 00:43:05,419
I can't just take a break, Sid.
828
00:43:05,419 --> 00:43:07,671
Every minute that we take off
829
00:43:07,671 --> 00:43:09,882
is another one that
Olivia Binghman doesn't.
830
00:43:09,882 --> 00:43:12,676
That dirty whore
has been trying to steal
the council from me for years,
831
00:43:12,676 --> 00:43:16,138
and we are not
about to let that happen.
832
00:43:16,138 --> 00:43:17,222
Mm-hmm.
833
00:43:18,682 --> 00:43:20,392
- Your breath stinks.
- I'm good.
834
00:43:20,392 --> 00:43:23,437
- I have some in my bag.
- Good, 'cause I'm almost out.
835
00:43:26,857 --> 00:43:30,944
I've been meaning to get
the average joe perspective.
836
00:43:30,944 --> 00:43:33,572
What do you feel?
Paper or plastic?
837
00:43:36,867 --> 00:43:40,704
Yeah, my mom threw a hairdryer
at my dad last night.
838
00:43:40,704 --> 00:43:44,583
- I don't know if he bled,
but it look like it hurt.
- Oh, my God.
839
00:43:44,583 --> 00:43:49,671
- Um...
- I wanna believe in love,
but I don't know anymore.
840
00:43:51,965 --> 00:43:56,303
Yeah, that's one of life's
greatest mysteries.
841
00:43:56,303 --> 00:43:58,305
It's big, right?
Like, life-changing.
842
00:43:58,305 --> 00:44:00,933
Mm-hmm, and it's--
just don't feel like
it's your fault.
843
00:44:00,933 --> 00:44:02,893
- I'm sure it's not your fault.
- It might be.
844
00:44:11,944 --> 00:44:13,153
Sorry. I need a minute.
845
00:44:13,153 --> 00:44:16,281
Yeah, take-- I'm sorry. Yeah.
846
00:44:18,951 --> 00:44:20,994
- I didn't mean
to make that weird.
- No, no.
847
00:44:20,994 --> 00:44:22,621
- I'm good. I'm surviving.
- Yeah, of course.
848
00:44:22,621 --> 00:44:24,957
I just-- I wanna be there
and I don't know with to say
849
00:44:24,957 --> 00:44:29,545
because I don't-- I never--
my parents are still in love.
850
00:44:29,545 --> 00:44:32,631
- So, sorry. I just--
- Yeah, thanks for
rubbing that in.
851
00:44:32,631 --> 00:44:37,344
- Um, I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
852
00:44:38,762 --> 00:44:39,847
Announcer:
Attention, Eastland Frogs.
853
00:44:39,847 --> 00:44:41,348
The student council assembly
854
00:44:41,348 --> 00:44:43,642
will begin in ten minutes
in the auditorium.
855
00:44:43,642 --> 00:44:45,352
Where the fuck
have you been, Sandagger?
856
00:44:45,352 --> 00:44:46,979
Megan, this is the men's room.
857
00:44:46,979 --> 00:44:48,772
I know.
What the hell are you
doing in here, huh?
858
00:44:48,772 --> 00:44:52,609
- I'm just peeing.
- You peed?
859
00:44:52,609 --> 00:44:56,905
Every great politician knows,
"No pee before debate.
860
00:44:56,905 --> 00:44:59,783
It's the pee
that makes you great."
861
00:44:59,783 --> 00:45:02,244
I haven't pissed in four days.
862
00:45:02,244 --> 00:45:04,162
Oh, my God.
That's incredibly unhealthy.
863
00:45:04,162 --> 00:45:06,540
By the way, your mints,
they taste like shit.
864
00:45:10,377 --> 00:45:14,256
- No. Oh, shit.
- What?
865
00:45:14,256 --> 00:45:16,341
Are they not mints?
866
00:45:18,010 --> 00:45:20,387
- Uh, kind of.
- Kind of?
867
00:45:20,387 --> 00:45:23,223
Okay, there's no such thing as
kind of when it comes to mints.
868
00:45:23,223 --> 00:45:26,101
They either refresh
your breath or they don't.
869
00:45:26,101 --> 00:45:27,686
They freshen your perspective.
870
00:45:29,229 --> 00:45:30,439
Oh, my God, they're a drug.
871
00:45:30,439 --> 00:45:33,275
I've never taken a drug before!
872
00:45:36,528 --> 00:45:39,448
Get the fuck out of here, Eli!
873
00:45:39,448 --> 00:45:42,367
- Move!
- And vote Megan Waters!
874
00:45:42,367 --> 00:45:45,746
Nobody's gonna vote
Megan Waters now.
875
00:45:45,746 --> 00:45:47,748
Relax. It's okay.
876
00:45:47,748 --> 00:45:49,833
- I think I need to call
my pediatrician.
- It's gonna be fine.
877
00:45:49,833 --> 00:45:53,045
I'm-- you're gonna be fine.
I promise.
878
00:45:53,045 --> 00:45:54,713
You're gonna go out there,
879
00:45:54,713 --> 00:45:56,048
and you're gonna be yourself,
880
00:45:56,048 --> 00:45:57,299
and everyone's gonna love you.
881
00:45:57,299 --> 00:45:59,635
- No one loves me, Sid!
- Jesus.
882
00:45:59,635 --> 00:46:01,386
No one even likes me.
883
00:46:01,386 --> 00:46:05,265
Because people like you and me,
we're not pretty.
884
00:46:05,265 --> 00:46:07,392
No! But we're smart.
885
00:46:07,392 --> 00:46:10,771
And that means that
we're supposed to have
good lives after we leave.
886
00:46:10,771 --> 00:46:15,692
No. Megan,
we're gonna start now.
887
00:46:16,777 --> 00:46:18,278
See?
888
00:46:20,072 --> 00:46:22,449
You're gonna be fine,
I promise.
889
00:46:23,825 --> 00:46:24,785
Okay.
890
00:46:26,870 --> 00:46:29,164
So what drug was it
that we took?
891
00:46:46,890 --> 00:46:48,475
- Oh, okay.
- Your turn, your turn.
892
00:46:48,475 --> 00:46:50,310
Hey, everyone. Sid Sandagger.
893
00:46:50,310 --> 00:46:52,229
Uh, it is my strong opinion
894
00:46:52,229 --> 00:46:55,023
that Megan
is the fucking best.
895
00:46:55,023 --> 00:46:56,483
- I'm serious, girl,
you're such--
- Really?
896
00:46:56,483 --> 00:46:58,694
- Yeah, you're the fucking shit.
- Aw, dude.
897
00:46:58,694 --> 00:47:01,405
- I love you so fucking much.
- Such good friends.
We've blossomed.
898
00:47:01,405 --> 00:47:02,656
- Our friendship has blossomed.
- Aww, Sid.
899
00:47:02,656 --> 00:47:05,701
Oh, yeah, of course.
Friends.
900
00:47:05,701 --> 00:47:07,327
Okay, I hear ya.
901
00:47:07,327 --> 00:47:11,707
We have evaluated things
and come to the conclusion
902
00:47:11,707 --> 00:47:13,500
that you have all
been cocks to her.
903
00:47:13,500 --> 00:47:15,335
Yeah, you guys--
you guys have been cocks.
904
00:47:15,335 --> 00:47:16,712
- Yeah. Yeah.
- You've been cocks!
905
00:47:16,712 --> 00:47:18,797
Especially you,
Jonathan Gliggman.
906
00:47:18,797 --> 00:47:21,133
Yeah, but she is wonderful,
907
00:47:21,133 --> 00:47:23,135
wonderful,
if you can't tell already.
908
00:47:23,135 --> 00:47:24,261
- Thank you.
- And I think it's about time
909
00:47:24,261 --> 00:47:25,721
that you got to
know her yourself.
910
00:47:25,721 --> 00:47:29,349
So, um, well, without
much further ado, Megan.
911
00:47:29,349 --> 00:47:31,185
Be yourself.
You got this.
912
00:47:33,145 --> 00:47:34,313
Whoo!
913
00:47:44,531 --> 00:47:47,075
I am a prism.
914
00:47:47,075 --> 00:47:51,371
I refract.
915
00:47:51,371 --> 00:47:54,208
But I glow for me.
916
00:47:56,376 --> 00:48:00,172
And I dance for you.
917
00:48:00,172 --> 00:48:05,177
And you and you and you
and everybody!
918
00:48:05,177 --> 00:48:08,388
Not her! You made your signs
with signs with glitter,
919
00:48:08,388 --> 00:48:10,682
and I went to Kinko's, bitch.
920
00:48:18,023 --> 00:48:19,691
♪ Composting papers
on papers ♪
921
00:48:19,691 --> 00:48:22,361
- ♪ Recycle bottles on bottles ♪
- ♪ Skrr, skrr ♪
922
00:48:22,361 --> 00:48:24,154
♪ We're burning bodies
like models ♪
923
00:48:24,154 --> 00:48:26,198
♪ And now you inhaled
the vapors ♪
924
00:48:26,198 --> 00:48:27,991
♪ You know what
you wanted me to spit ♪
925
00:48:27,991 --> 00:48:30,202
- ♪ Whoo, whoo ♪
- ♪ And now you're sorry I did ♪
926
00:48:30,202 --> 00:48:32,663
- ♪ Huh! ♪
- ♪ Losers vote for Olivia ♪
927
00:48:32,663 --> 00:48:35,415
♪ Ballers vote Megan and Sid,
you love it ♪
928
00:48:35,415 --> 00:48:38,001
Sid: Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah! Whoo!
929
00:48:38,001 --> 00:48:42,172
Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan!
930
00:48:42,172 --> 00:48:45,551
Megan, Megan, Megan!
931
00:48:45,551 --> 00:48:49,930
Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan!
932
00:48:49,930 --> 00:48:54,226
Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan!
933
00:48:54,226 --> 00:48:58,230
Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan!
934
00:48:58,230 --> 00:49:02,442
Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan!
935
00:49:02,442 --> 00:49:06,196
Megan, Megan...
936
00:49:09,408 --> 00:49:11,910
Jim: Oh, it's a pass
to Sandagger!
937
00:49:11,910 --> 00:49:14,454
- Oh, oh!
- Sid: I can't believe
I'm about to say this,
938
00:49:14,454 --> 00:49:17,124
but as long as
you are not falling flat
on your face in spandex...
939
00:49:17,124 --> 00:49:20,961
He shoots! He scores!
940
00:49:20,961 --> 00:49:23,213
...standing out might not be
the worst thing in the world.
941
00:49:23,213 --> 00:49:26,800
- Sidney! Go, Sidney! Go!
- Whoo!
942
00:49:31,180 --> 00:49:34,141
- Whoo!
- It certainly
has its benefits.
943
00:49:34,141 --> 00:49:35,434
Later, dude.
944
00:49:36,852 --> 00:49:38,604
- Good game, guys.
- Good job, Sid.
945
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:50,282
Tiff Mann might be
my destiny,
946
00:49:50,282 --> 00:49:53,243
but sometimes even destiny
needs a little nudge.
947
00:49:55,579 --> 00:49:58,498
Break a leg
out there tonight, man.
948
00:49:58,498 --> 00:50:02,794
Hello, understudy.
I thought I smelled you.
949
00:50:02,794 --> 00:50:05,088
Now, this isn't something
I'm super proud
950
00:50:05,088 --> 00:50:08,133
to add to
my lifetime achievements,
951
00:50:08,133 --> 00:50:10,177
but Erwin Mueller's a dick.
952
00:50:11,887 --> 00:50:13,514
Announcer: Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,
953
00:50:13,514 --> 00:50:15,057
welcome to tonight's
performance of "Frankenstein,"
954
00:50:15,057 --> 00:50:17,684
the new musical
by Erwin Mueller,
955
00:50:17,684 --> 00:50:19,770
based on a concept
by Mary Shelley.
956
00:50:19,770 --> 00:50:21,313
Tonight,
the role of Frankenstein
957
00:50:21,313 --> 00:50:23,524
will be performed
by Sidney Sandagger.
958
00:50:23,524 --> 00:50:25,192
The performance will begin
in a moment.
959
00:50:25,192 --> 00:50:27,528
- Did he tell you?
- No.
960
00:50:27,528 --> 00:50:28,737
Oh.
961
00:50:40,123 --> 00:50:43,168
♪ Oh, how I love thee ♪
962
00:50:43,168 --> 00:50:45,587
♪ And yet you're a monster ♪
963
00:50:45,587 --> 00:50:47,381
♪ A vicious monster ♪
964
00:50:47,381 --> 00:50:51,176
♪ I am a vicious monster ♪
965
00:50:51,176 --> 00:50:54,346
- Wow.
- ♪ You must die, monster ♪
966
00:50:54,346 --> 00:50:58,225
♪ But know
I will never forget you ♪
967
00:50:58,225 --> 00:51:03,480
- ♪ She will never forget me ♪
- ♪ Goodbye, goodbye ♪
968
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:06,817
- I can't tell if it's
supposed to be a parody.
- Is it funny?
969
00:51:11,738 --> 00:51:13,365
♪ A final kiss ♪
970
00:51:13,365 --> 00:51:16,326
♪ Before I burn your body ♪
971
00:51:16,326 --> 00:51:18,745
Sid: Don't get a boner.
Don't get a boner.
Don't get a boner.
972
00:51:18,745 --> 00:51:20,747
Don't get a boner.
Don't get a boner.
Don't get a boner.
973
00:51:20,747 --> 00:51:23,500
Don't get a boner. Damn it.
974
00:51:23,500 --> 00:51:27,045
- Oh, shit.
- Go, Sid.
975
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:37,055
Whoo! Yeah, Sid!
976
00:51:38,849 --> 00:51:41,226
My acting coach says
I need to follow
my instincts.
977
00:51:41,226 --> 00:51:46,899
Huh. Wait, you have a--
you have an acting coach?
978
00:51:46,899 --> 00:51:50,444
- On YouTube.
- Well, that's 21st century.
979
00:51:50,444 --> 00:51:54,615
Um, do you want to--
would you like to go maybe
980
00:51:54,615 --> 00:51:57,868
to the Frakas twins' party
with me tomorrow?
981
00:52:05,626 --> 00:52:07,794
- Okay.
- Oh, yeah. Okay.
982
00:52:07,794 --> 00:52:09,630
Sick. Cool. Uh, dope.
983
00:52:09,630 --> 00:52:12,007
I'll pick you up at 10.
984
00:52:12,007 --> 00:52:14,301
- You'll text me?
- I don't have your number.
985
00:52:14,301 --> 00:52:16,094
Sid: Don't have my number.
986
00:52:16,094 --> 00:52:18,096
We love a good cat and mouse,
don't we, Tiff Mann?
987
00:52:18,096 --> 00:52:20,224
Hey, bud,
you got something
on your face.
988
00:52:23,435 --> 00:52:26,480
♪ Go ♪
989
00:52:29,775 --> 00:52:31,985
♪ Let's go ♪
990
00:52:31,985 --> 00:52:34,821
♪ Go, go,
trouble in the evening ♪
991
00:52:34,821 --> 00:52:35,989
♪ Take it or leave it ♪
992
00:52:35,989 --> 00:52:37,991
♪ I can really feel it ♪
993
00:52:37,991 --> 00:52:39,826
♪ Stay in on the weekends ♪
994
00:52:39,826 --> 00:52:41,662
Hey, does this shirt
make me look fat?
995
00:52:41,662 --> 00:52:43,997
Like, kinda like when I do this?
996
00:52:43,997 --> 00:52:45,666
Oh, no. No.
Buttons are totally slimming.
997
00:52:45,666 --> 00:52:47,918
- What time again?
- Um, so, 10.
998
00:52:47,918 --> 00:52:51,088
So then I'll pick you up at 9:30
'cause we gotta get Luna first.
999
00:52:51,088 --> 00:52:54,258
- Dude, you're taking Luna?
- It's just for show. What?
1000
00:52:54,258 --> 00:52:56,635
Mom!
1001
00:52:56,635 --> 00:52:58,929
No wonder you don't like Luna.
You're too busy falling
in love with Sid!
1002
00:52:58,929 --> 00:53:02,850
- Mom! Making me date
that brown fire hydrant--
- She is a lovely girl.
1003
00:53:02,850 --> 00:53:05,477
- She's like Satan in the flesh.
- I will smack your ass
1004
00:53:05,477 --> 00:53:07,604
- back to next Thursday, okay?
- Okay, okay, okay.
1005
00:53:07,604 --> 00:53:09,690
That's the kind of woman
you could slap around
in bed a little.
1006
00:53:09,690 --> 00:53:11,984
- Okay, Mom, please stop.
- I punched your father
in the face!
1007
00:53:11,984 --> 00:53:15,571
- Eww, eww! Mom!
- And then I got down on him
and just went to town!
1008
00:53:15,571 --> 00:53:17,197
- Mom!
- Si, and...
1009
00:53:34,548 --> 00:53:36,675
Okay. What the fuck.
1010
00:53:38,594 --> 00:53:42,639
Oh, that was too many knocks.
Too many knocks. Okay.
1011
00:53:42,639 --> 00:53:45,100
- You're not even
gonna say I look nice?
- You don't look nice.
1012
00:53:45,100 --> 00:53:46,935
You look like
an incredibly mean person
1013
00:53:46,935 --> 00:53:48,228
because you are one.
1014
00:53:48,228 --> 00:53:50,731
You have the mustache
of a child molester
1015
00:53:50,731 --> 00:53:52,816
and the haircut
of a molested child.
1016
00:53:55,903 --> 00:53:57,487
Relax, relax.
1017
00:54:10,292 --> 00:54:13,170
- Hey.
- Hey.
1018
00:54:13,170 --> 00:54:17,132
Is that your minivan?
1019
00:54:19,384 --> 00:54:23,222
It's Jim's.
Great for families.
1020
00:54:28,644 --> 00:54:30,479
Fuck my life.
1021
00:54:30,479 --> 00:54:32,439
You ever wonder
what life is like
1022
00:54:32,439 --> 00:54:34,066
for the cool kids?
1023
00:54:34,066 --> 00:54:37,027
Well, tonight I find out.
1024
00:54:41,156 --> 00:54:42,741
You okay?
1025
00:54:46,161 --> 00:54:48,580
Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.
1026
00:54:48,580 --> 00:54:50,374
- Wanna get a drink?
- Oh, yeah.
1027
00:54:50,374 --> 00:54:51,792
- Totally.
- Let's do it.
1028
00:54:58,757 --> 00:55:00,717
Cheers.
Let's just go for it. Okay.
1029
00:55:00,717 --> 00:55:03,804
- Nice-- oh, you--
- Oh, my God.
1030
00:55:03,804 --> 00:55:06,515
- Is this one bad?
- Sid, come hit this!
1031
00:55:14,731 --> 00:55:18,110
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!
1032
00:55:18,110 --> 00:55:20,028
Chug, chug, chug, chug!
1033
00:55:28,537 --> 00:55:31,623
This is literally
the coolest fucking party
1034
00:55:31,623 --> 00:55:33,625
that I have ever been to
in my entire life.
1035
00:55:33,625 --> 00:55:37,212
Why doesn't anybody want
to go ride a horse with me?
1036
00:55:37,212 --> 00:55:39,214
You wanna do one?
Guys, let's go--
1037
00:55:39,214 --> 00:55:42,467
Dude, give them their moment.
Stop hopping on the...
1038
00:55:42,467 --> 00:55:44,219
For a moment...
1039
00:55:44,219 --> 00:55:47,097
...this party
felt like heaven.
1040
00:55:52,060 --> 00:55:53,520
Luna: Oh, like you haven't
thought about it.
1041
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:57,399
Yo. Why aren't you
responding to my texts?
1042
00:55:57,399 --> 00:55:59,776
'Cause I don't want
to talk to you.
1043
00:55:59,776 --> 00:56:03,363
- Okay, let's go for a walk.
- No.
1044
00:56:03,363 --> 00:56:08,452
We're gonna go for a walk,
'cause we clearly have things--
1045
00:56:08,452 --> 00:56:11,747
What the fuck?
1046
00:56:11,747 --> 00:56:14,625
- Uh, uh, Chuck. Yo, dawg.
- I need you to shut up.
1047
00:56:14,625 --> 00:56:17,252
Sid: Who gets out of anger
management a week early?
1048
00:56:17,252 --> 00:56:20,672
- Fuck you, Switzerland.
- Dude, don't.
1049
00:56:20,672 --> 00:56:24,259
- Don't do this.
- David, Candace, I--
1050
00:56:24,259 --> 00:56:28,222
I really appreciate it,
but I'm fine.
1051
00:56:31,058 --> 00:56:34,269
Well, now I see
why you wanted
to get me suspended,
1052
00:56:34,269 --> 00:56:36,897
you little piece of shit.
1053
00:56:36,897 --> 00:56:39,358
Give me one good reason
1054
00:56:39,358 --> 00:56:41,193
why I shouldn't
kill you right now.
1055
00:56:41,193 --> 00:56:44,655
- Uh...
- This is it.
1056
00:56:44,655 --> 00:56:48,867
Barring divine intervention,
I am... dead?
1057
00:56:50,661 --> 00:56:52,287
Oh!
1058
00:56:55,415 --> 00:56:59,711
- Not again. Oh!
- It may not have been
a burning bush,
1059
00:56:59,711 --> 00:57:03,215
but if an exploding car
at the time of your
imminent demise
1060
00:57:03,215 --> 00:57:04,925
isn't evidence
of a higher power,
1061
00:57:04,925 --> 00:57:06,009
then I don't know what is.
1062
00:57:06,009 --> 00:57:08,220
Halle-fucking-lujah!
1063
00:57:08,220 --> 00:57:10,806
Let's get the hell out of here.
1064
00:57:10,806 --> 00:57:12,516
- Yeah.
- I think God just did that.
1065
00:57:12,516 --> 00:57:14,768
That was fucking dope!
1066
00:57:14,768 --> 00:57:17,855
Oh, my God.
1067
00:57:22,901 --> 00:57:24,820
- Oh, I'm shaking.
- It just--
1068
00:57:24,820 --> 00:57:27,322
That happened, right?
You saw that too?
1069
00:57:27,322 --> 00:57:30,200
I feel like we're in
a rap video or something.
1070
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,494
- What happened?
- I don't know.
1071
00:57:39,626 --> 00:57:41,962
Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
1072
00:57:41,962 --> 00:57:44,131
That just came out.
I don't even know
what noise that was.
1073
00:57:44,131 --> 00:57:48,343
It sounded like
you put a pig in a blender.
1074
00:57:48,343 --> 00:57:51,346
Um, I'm so confused.
1075
00:57:51,346 --> 00:57:53,765
Have you not been texting me
this whole time?
1076
00:57:53,765 --> 00:57:55,309
No, I told you,
I don't have your number.
1077
00:57:55,309 --> 00:57:58,770
Look, the truth is, Sid,
1078
00:57:58,770 --> 00:58:01,690
I've been trying
really hard to like you.
1079
00:58:01,690 --> 00:58:04,234
I mean, like that.
1080
00:58:04,234 --> 00:58:07,571
That's cool, because
I want to like you, too.
1081
00:58:07,571 --> 00:58:11,658
And I do like you,
so I'm like a success story
you can really look up to.
1082
00:58:16,121 --> 00:58:20,834
You know, I've just--
I've felt so trapped dating
Chuck the past few years.
1083
00:58:20,834 --> 00:58:23,003
He and I, we have this cycle.
1084
00:58:23,003 --> 00:58:26,131
It's, like,
we fight, we break up,
we get back together.
1085
00:58:26,131 --> 00:58:28,175
He gets into some
kind of insane trouble
1086
00:58:28,175 --> 00:58:30,177
and I swear that
I'm gonna never date him again.
1087
00:58:30,177 --> 00:58:35,933
And then I just end up
back with him again.
1088
00:58:37,935 --> 00:58:42,272
I guess I just thought
that maybe if I liked you
1089
00:58:42,272 --> 00:58:45,817
then I wouldn't go back
to him, you know?
1090
00:58:45,817 --> 00:58:47,945
I wouldn't make
the same mistake.
1091
00:58:51,323 --> 00:58:53,825
But...
1092
00:58:53,825 --> 00:58:59,414
But I just-- I don't feel
that way about you, Sid.
1093
00:58:59,414 --> 00:59:00,999
I'm sorry.
1094
00:59:05,546 --> 00:59:06,505
Friends?
1095
00:59:24,439 --> 00:59:26,024
She didn't even
jerk you off?
1096
00:59:30,028 --> 00:59:30,988
Bummer.
1097
01:00:16,408 --> 01:00:18,785
Screw, Chuck.
He can't touch me.
1098
01:00:18,785 --> 01:00:20,204
- What's up, Sid?
- Yo.
1099
01:00:20,204 --> 01:00:21,830
When he left,
I was invisible.
1100
01:00:21,830 --> 01:00:24,499
Now I'm invincible.
1101
01:00:24,499 --> 01:00:27,503
I'm like a hero,
and people protect heroes.
1102
01:00:27,503 --> 01:00:31,632
Heroes never die, right?
1103
01:01:08,752 --> 01:01:10,546
Uh, hey.
1104
01:01:10,546 --> 01:01:13,131
Hey, can I talk to you guys?
1105
01:01:16,301 --> 01:01:17,970
I think-- I think that--
1106
01:01:17,970 --> 01:01:19,346
I think that you should log off.
1107
01:01:19,346 --> 01:01:20,931
Get the fuck outta here.
1108
01:01:20,931 --> 01:01:23,559
Okay, I get it. I do.
1109
01:01:23,559 --> 01:01:28,772
I love being in here,
but I think you're--
1110
01:01:28,772 --> 01:01:30,941
I just--
I think you're missing out.
1111
01:01:30,941 --> 01:01:32,693
Trust me. I'm you.
1112
01:01:32,693 --> 01:01:36,113
We're to living our lives
to our full potential.
1113
01:01:36,113 --> 01:01:40,325
Out there,
the quests don't wait for you
like they do in here.
1114
01:01:40,325 --> 01:01:43,579
There's a lot more out there
than orcs and night elves
1115
01:01:43,579 --> 01:01:47,374
and you shouldn't be spending
your whole lives hiding.
1116
01:01:51,503 --> 01:01:54,298
Yeah, all right. Okay.
1117
01:02:07,644 --> 01:02:09,980
Whoa, whoa. Sorry. Hey!
1118
01:02:12,232 --> 01:02:14,067
Hey, hey!
1119
01:02:17,029 --> 01:02:19,364
Hey! Hey!
1120
01:02:22,451 --> 01:02:26,830
- What?
- You're, uh...
1121
01:02:26,830 --> 01:02:29,833
Katie.
1122
01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:31,835
You've been texting me
this whole time.
1123
01:02:31,835 --> 01:02:33,462
- I'm sorry, okay? I got--
- No.
1124
01:02:33,462 --> 01:02:34,630
No, don't say you're sorry.
1125
01:02:34,630 --> 01:02:37,382
Just...
1126
01:02:37,382 --> 01:02:38,884
...hi.
1127
01:02:40,636 --> 01:02:43,305
- Hi.
- How do you even
know who I am?
1128
01:02:43,305 --> 01:02:47,851
I think everyone knows
who you are at this point.
1129
01:02:47,851 --> 01:02:49,645
You've been weird.
1130
01:02:49,645 --> 01:02:52,231
Good weird, though.
1131
01:02:52,231 --> 01:02:57,027
And you--
you wanted to help me?
1132
01:02:59,863 --> 01:03:00,989
Yeah.
1133
01:03:00,989 --> 01:03:03,242
Suck a dick, Chuck.
1134
01:03:03,242 --> 01:03:05,452
Why do we all have
to pretend that we don't want
to fuck each other...
1135
01:03:05,452 --> 01:03:07,996
Jim: Hugh Hefner would be
so proud of you right now.
1136
01:03:07,996 --> 01:03:11,166
Sandagger!
1137
01:03:11,166 --> 01:03:14,378
♪ She will never forget me ♪
1138
01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:18,298
Do you wanna go on
a date with me?
1139
01:03:19,883 --> 01:03:22,302
- Really?
- Yeah.
1140
01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:28,058
I'm going to
something after school
if you wanna come.
1141
01:03:28,058 --> 01:03:29,059
Yeah.
1142
01:03:33,814 --> 01:03:36,275
- I'll text you, I guess.
- Yeah, please.
1143
01:03:58,547 --> 01:04:01,300
You know that
I have two moms, right?
1144
01:04:03,343 --> 01:04:04,845
And they're both
going to hell.
1145
01:04:04,845 --> 01:04:06,680
Oh.
1146
01:04:11,476 --> 01:04:12,686
Okay.
1147
01:04:16,940 --> 01:04:19,067
I just like bits and pieces.
1148
01:04:19,067 --> 01:04:24,531
- Of the Bible?
- Yeah, of all religions.
1149
01:04:24,531 --> 01:04:30,537
Plus, churches are
really pretty, and quiet,
1150
01:04:30,537 --> 01:04:33,916
and they make boys like you
super uncomfortable.
1151
01:04:44,968 --> 01:04:47,471
Sometimes it's just nice
to be somewhere, you know?
1152
01:04:51,475 --> 01:04:52,726
Amen.
1153
01:04:56,563 --> 01:04:57,731
Amen.
1154
01:05:05,614 --> 01:05:07,407
Jim: Ten seconds left!
1155
01:05:07,407 --> 01:05:09,826
He's going! Yeah!
1156
01:05:09,826 --> 01:05:13,372
Sandagger!
1157
01:05:23,006 --> 01:05:25,300
♪ I spent a lifetime
killing me ♪
1158
01:05:30,013 --> 01:05:32,975
♪ I found an old soul
who disagreed ♪
1159
01:05:35,435 --> 01:05:36,812
Hey, can I ask you something?
1160
01:05:36,812 --> 01:05:37,771
Yeah.
1161
01:05:39,273 --> 01:05:41,275
Did you set Chuck Brawnte's
car on fire?
1162
01:05:41,275 --> 01:05:44,486
- No.
- I had this awful--
1163
01:05:44,486 --> 01:05:46,405
♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
1164
01:05:53,829 --> 01:05:56,832
Cool. I can do better.
1165
01:05:56,832 --> 01:05:58,542
I wasn't expecting that.
So, I can--
1166
01:06:02,254 --> 01:06:04,256
Katie:"Let go of the past,
1167
01:06:04,256 --> 01:06:05,924
let go of the future,
1168
01:06:05,924 --> 01:06:07,426
in the present, let go.
1169
01:06:07,426 --> 01:06:10,053
Gone to the other shore
of becoming,
1170
01:06:10,053 --> 01:06:11,847
mind released entirely,
1171
01:06:11,847 --> 01:06:15,058
you will never again
undergo birth and old age."
1172
01:06:15,058 --> 01:06:17,853
- Wow. That's beautiful.
- Isn't it?
1173
01:06:17,853 --> 01:06:18,979
- Depressing.
- No.
1174
01:06:18,979 --> 01:06:20,189
♪ We're still young ♪
1175
01:06:20,189 --> 01:06:22,065
♪ We should still believe ♪
1176
01:06:22,065 --> 01:06:26,278
♪ We passed out
on a city street ♪
1177
01:06:26,278 --> 01:06:29,072
♪ We laughed until
we couldn't breathe ♪
1178
01:06:29,072 --> 01:06:31,992
♪ I spent a lifetime
killing me ♪
1179
01:06:31,992 --> 01:06:35,078
My mom is eighth grade math,
1180
01:06:35,078 --> 01:06:37,873
and my dad is a librarian,
1181
01:06:37,873 --> 01:06:40,375
but he likes to be called
a media specialist.
1182
01:06:43,295 --> 01:06:44,505
- I wanna kiss you again.
- ♪ I ain't got nothing ♪
1183
01:06:44,505 --> 01:06:50,511
♪ Left to lose ♪
1184
01:06:50,511 --> 01:06:52,471
♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
1185
01:06:52,471 --> 01:06:54,848
Watch your head
because there's, like,
a lot of books.
1186
01:06:59,102 --> 01:07:02,648
Like this, Joey.
1187
01:07:02,648 --> 01:07:03,899
All right,
if you don't poop there,
1188
01:07:03,899 --> 01:07:05,317
I'm just gonna tell Mom
that you pooped.
1189
01:07:05,317 --> 01:07:09,863
Oh, my God.
1190
01:07:09,863 --> 01:07:12,908
Jimbo, what's up, brother?
1191
01:07:12,908 --> 01:07:15,202
Hey, dawg.
1192
01:07:15,202 --> 01:07:18,038
You wanna come chill with us?
We're gonna shoot a session.
1193
01:07:18,038 --> 01:07:20,332
You need someone to, like,
hold the camera or something?
1194
01:07:20,332 --> 01:07:22,334
No, bro, we need to get you
in a goddamn video.
1195
01:07:22,334 --> 01:07:25,546
- You're hilarious.
- Uh, all right. Yeah.
1196
01:07:25,546 --> 01:07:26,755
Chuck: Jim, Jim!
Jim, Jim, Jim!
1197
01:07:26,755 --> 01:07:29,550
- All right.
- Fuck yeah, baby!
1198
01:07:29,550 --> 01:07:32,594
- This fucking kid.
- Your dog smells.
1199
01:07:44,356 --> 01:07:46,900
I hope you do die,
you fucking drug addict.
1200
01:07:52,739 --> 01:07:54,116
Hey, guys.
1201
01:08:01,123 --> 01:08:02,583
I could press charges,
you know?
1202
01:08:02,583 --> 01:08:04,168
For what you did to my face?
1203
01:08:04,168 --> 01:08:05,961
My mom had to put chapstick
on my eyelids.
1204
01:08:05,961 --> 01:08:08,881
Okay, what the fuck is going on?
1205
01:08:08,881 --> 01:08:10,382
I feel like
I'm in a fricking, like,
1206
01:08:10,382 --> 01:08:11,800
spaceship right now, right?
1207
01:08:11,800 --> 01:08:14,595
You are in a spaceship.
1208
01:08:14,595 --> 01:08:15,762
Yeah, I am!
1209
01:08:15,762 --> 01:08:17,472
I'm in a fucking
spaceship, dawg!
1210
01:08:17,472 --> 01:08:19,600
- And your boy, Sid?
- Yeah?
1211
01:08:19,600 --> 01:08:21,393
Dude, I've been hearing
so many stories.
1212
01:08:21,393 --> 01:08:23,187
Actually, I have
mad respect for the guy.
1213
01:08:23,187 --> 01:08:24,813
Dude, he's been going crazy.
1214
01:08:24,813 --> 01:08:27,774
He spiked that theater kid's
makeup with Icy Hot
1215
01:08:27,774 --> 01:08:29,276
just so he could go onstage.
1216
01:08:29,276 --> 01:08:31,653
And he got Megan Waters
crazy high for her debate.
1217
01:08:31,653 --> 01:08:33,280
- Megan fucking waters?
- Yeah, yeah.
1218
01:08:33,280 --> 01:08:35,032
Chuck: He's just trying
to live it up before I X him?
1219
01:08:35,032 --> 01:08:37,618
And, dude,
he's determined
to get laid, too.
1220
01:08:37,618 --> 01:08:39,203
He tried sticking it
to Tiff Mann.
1221
01:08:39,203 --> 01:08:41,663
- But don't worry.
She said no.
- Yeah?
1222
01:08:41,663 --> 01:08:43,207
Jim: Now he's trying
to hit on this gamer chick.
1223
01:08:43,207 --> 01:08:44,791
He even went to church with her
1224
01:08:44,791 --> 01:08:46,293
just so that
he could get in her pants
1225
01:08:46,293 --> 01:08:47,586
all before
you fucking kill him.
1226
01:08:47,586 --> 01:08:49,421
Sid, that is cold, brother.
1227
01:08:49,421 --> 01:08:51,215
You're not gonna, like,
hurt him or anything?
1228
01:08:51,215 --> 01:08:53,509
'Cause, like, I'm--
like, I'm down with him.
1229
01:08:53,509 --> 01:08:55,802
No, for sure.
I'm not gonna hurt him.
1230
01:08:55,802 --> 01:08:57,554
- Um...
- Dope.
1231
01:08:57,554 --> 01:09:00,474
Chuck: 'Cause I'm gonna
fucking end him.
1232
01:09:00,474 --> 01:09:03,644
I'm gonna beat him so badly
1233
01:09:03,644 --> 01:09:07,231
that he's never able to feel
a fucking thing ever again.
1234
01:09:07,231 --> 01:09:09,858
- Say, "Hi, Sid."
- Wait, what?
1235
01:09:17,407 --> 01:09:19,117
- Hey!
- Slow down!
1236
01:09:23,497 --> 01:09:24,957
Fuck off, noob.
1237
01:09:36,426 --> 01:09:38,846
What was everyone
so upset about?
1238
01:09:38,846 --> 01:09:41,682
Yeah, they were
part of a list. So what?
1239
01:09:41,682 --> 01:09:45,394
I still did all the things
they thought were great.
1240
01:09:45,394 --> 01:09:48,021
But after the video,
everything went to shit.
1241
01:09:49,857 --> 01:09:51,650
I was kicked off the ice,
1242
01:09:51,650 --> 01:09:53,652
and the rest of the guys
refused to play with me.
1243
01:09:56,154 --> 01:09:59,283
Megan was put on
disciplinary probation
for doing drugs,
1244
01:09:59,283 --> 01:10:01,785
and then kicked off
student council.
1245
01:10:01,785 --> 01:10:06,081
Candace re-pledged
her eternal abstinence
and dumped Dave.
1246
01:10:06,081 --> 01:10:08,125
Dr. Capanna:
Oh, yeah, sure...
1247
01:10:08,125 --> 01:10:10,919
Oh, and guess who decided
to be sick today?
1248
01:10:21,096 --> 01:10:23,098
- Hey, man.
- Dude, seriously? Go away.
1249
01:10:23,098 --> 01:10:24,641
- Sid, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Go, dude.
1250
01:10:24,641 --> 01:10:26,518
- I made a mistake.
- Don't fucking touch me.
1251
01:10:26,518 --> 01:10:28,312
- Leave, man.
- I made a mistake.
Just hear me out.
1252
01:10:28,312 --> 01:10:29,688
Just let me talk
for a little bit.
1253
01:10:29,688 --> 01:10:31,899
Do you have any idea
what the fuck you've done?
1254
01:10:31,899 --> 01:10:37,112
- Sid, I do know what I did.
- You have literally
ruined everything.
1255
01:10:37,112 --> 01:10:41,366
All you ever wanted was for
someone popular to like you,
and they never will.
1256
01:10:41,366 --> 01:10:42,534
Luna, was right, Jim.
1257
01:10:42,534 --> 01:10:45,329
You are an insecure
attention whore
1258
01:10:45,329 --> 01:10:46,747
who would literally sell out
1259
01:10:46,747 --> 01:10:49,082
the only real friend
that you have ever had
1260
01:10:49,082 --> 01:10:51,668
for the chance at someone
with more fucking followers.
1261
01:10:51,668 --> 01:10:54,880
Sid. Sid, I'm sorry, dude.
1262
01:10:54,880 --> 01:10:57,508
Sid, come on! Sid!
1263
01:11:01,011 --> 01:11:04,640
Jim is an idiot.
1264
01:11:04,640 --> 01:11:05,766
Stupid.
1265
01:11:09,937 --> 01:11:15,943
I wasn't just trying
to get with you.
1266
01:11:15,943 --> 01:11:17,444
I promise.
1267
01:11:21,281 --> 01:11:22,824
God.
1268
01:11:31,667 --> 01:11:32,751
I know.
1269
01:11:49,977 --> 01:11:52,479
Aah! God!
1270
01:12:06,493 --> 01:12:08,370
This is why I have rules.
1271
01:12:08,370 --> 01:12:09,621
This is why I said to shut up
1272
01:12:09,621 --> 01:12:11,039
and to stay under the radar
1273
01:12:11,039 --> 01:12:13,000
and to not mess
with the system.
1274
01:12:13,000 --> 01:12:15,419
Because when you speak up,
when you care,
1275
01:12:15,419 --> 01:12:17,421
and when you stop
being afraid,
1276
01:12:17,421 --> 01:12:20,424
people will hurt you.
1277
01:12:20,424 --> 01:12:22,050
They will find
that thing inside of you
1278
01:12:22,050 --> 01:12:24,636
that you try so hard
to guard and protect,
1279
01:12:24,636 --> 01:12:26,638
and they will poke at it
and jab at it
1280
01:12:26,638 --> 01:12:30,809
until you want to just crawl
into a little ball and cry,
1281
01:12:30,809 --> 01:12:33,395
and then you might
as well be dead.
1282
01:12:50,245 --> 01:12:54,041
Why haven't you been
answering Jim's DMs?
1283
01:12:54,041 --> 01:12:56,502
I don't really feel like
talking to him right now.
1284
01:12:56,502 --> 01:12:58,879
What he did was stupid.
1285
01:12:58,879 --> 01:13:01,965
But what do you expect?
It's Jim.
1286
01:13:01,965 --> 01:13:05,052
He has
the emotional intelligence
of a premature baby
1287
01:13:05,052 --> 01:13:08,096
and the actual intelligence
of one of those baboons
with the red asses.
1288
01:13:08,096 --> 01:13:10,057
Those are just baboons.
1289
01:13:10,057 --> 01:13:12,184
And they use tools,
they're brilliant animals.
1290
01:13:12,184 --> 01:13:13,435
Well, Jim isn't.
1291
01:13:14,686 --> 01:13:16,230
But he's also your best friend.
1292
01:13:20,150 --> 01:13:21,610
You're coming to
Homecoming tonight, right?
1293
01:13:21,610 --> 01:13:25,572
No. I don't have a date.
I don't have a ride.
1294
01:13:25,572 --> 01:13:28,909
I got you a tie
and boutonnière
when Jim got his.
1295
01:13:28,909 --> 01:13:31,286
Fair warning,
he did that dumb thing
1296
01:13:31,286 --> 01:13:33,705
where he got the pimp cane
and the top hat.
1297
01:13:33,705 --> 01:13:34,831
Ugh.
1298
01:13:34,831 --> 01:13:37,918
As far as a date goes,
fuck it.
1299
01:13:37,918 --> 01:13:40,170
Just show up,
or you'll regret it.
1300
01:13:41,505 --> 01:13:42,923
Chuck will kill me.
1301
01:13:42,923 --> 01:13:45,968
- I blew up Chuck's car.
- What?
1302
01:13:45,968 --> 01:13:47,803
Yeah.
1303
01:13:58,814 --> 01:14:01,316
Grain alcohol
is surprisingly flammable.
1304
01:14:01,316 --> 01:14:03,652
Luna, that's insane.
And a felony.
1305
01:14:03,652 --> 01:14:06,071
- Maybe.
- It is.
1306
01:14:06,071 --> 01:14:08,115
- But do you know why I did it?
- Because you're fucking nuts?
1307
01:14:08,115 --> 01:14:11,743
Because for a moment,
you gave everyone hope.
1308
01:14:11,743 --> 01:14:14,538
Look at all those people
whose lives you affected
1309
01:14:14,538 --> 01:14:16,540
just by being
an arrogant little shit
1310
01:14:16,540 --> 01:14:19,960
by refused to play
by the rules and be quiet.
1311
01:14:19,960 --> 01:14:23,297
Now everybody just thinks
I was using them for
some stupid bucket list.
1312
01:14:23,297 --> 01:14:26,300
But stay home
and hide from Chuck?
1313
01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:30,053
You'll be showing them
that they're right.
1314
01:14:33,765 --> 01:14:35,934
Well, I gotta get back
before lunch is over.
1315
01:14:43,817 --> 01:14:45,319
For you.
1316
01:14:47,154 --> 01:14:49,323
Later, fuckwad.
1317
01:15:07,799 --> 01:15:10,928
- I think we have to start over.
- You know how to tie a tie?
1318
01:15:10,928 --> 01:15:13,514
Can you get a YouTube video
just in case?
1319
01:15:13,514 --> 01:15:16,642
Oh, did you know that this
is called an oriental knot?
1320
01:15:16,642 --> 01:15:18,644
- It goes around
the tree trunk.
- Yeah.
1321
01:15:18,644 --> 01:15:21,396
- Did it.
- Photo time.
1322
01:15:27,194 --> 01:15:28,529
Oh, man, this is my song!
1323
01:15:39,206 --> 01:15:41,041
Get up.
1324
01:15:41,041 --> 01:15:45,087
- Get up.
- Nice cane.
1325
01:15:45,087 --> 01:15:49,424
- Thanks.
- Look, man, I'm sorry
1326
01:15:49,424 --> 01:15:51,218
about some of that stuff
that I said.
1327
01:15:51,218 --> 01:15:54,179
Yeah, you said
some pretty rough stuff.
1328
01:15:54,179 --> 01:15:56,056
I do think you care
a little bit too much
1329
01:15:56,056 --> 01:15:59,434
about being popular,
but I get it.
1330
01:15:59,434 --> 01:16:01,687
I know how good it felt
when I finally started
to get some attention,
1331
01:16:01,687 --> 01:16:03,897
so I don't blame you.
1332
01:16:03,897 --> 01:16:06,066
Boner brothers?
1333
01:16:06,066 --> 01:16:09,236
I thought that was you
and Dave Guggenheim's thing.
1334
01:16:09,236 --> 01:16:12,447
Come on, Jimenez.
1335
01:16:12,447 --> 01:16:14,074
You'll always be
my boner brother.
1336
01:16:15,450 --> 01:16:17,202
I'm gonna go spike the punch.
1337
01:16:24,459 --> 01:16:26,879
Give him some time.
1338
01:16:26,879 --> 01:16:28,422
Jim doesn't think very fast.
1339
01:16:31,466 --> 01:16:33,468
You look nice.
1340
01:16:33,468 --> 01:16:35,679
Thanks.
1341
01:16:35,679 --> 01:16:37,097
You look beautiful.
1342
01:16:37,097 --> 01:16:38,223
I know.
1343
01:16:42,269 --> 01:16:46,106
- Um, will you give me a second?
- Yeah.
1344
01:16:46,106 --> 01:16:50,152
Hey. Um, just--
1345
01:16:50,152 --> 01:16:52,112
- Hey, please.
- Sid, I don't wanna have
this conversation.
1346
01:16:52,112 --> 01:16:54,865
This isn't that.
It's not that conversation.
1347
01:16:54,865 --> 01:16:57,910
This isn't me saying
that I made a mistake,
1348
01:16:57,910 --> 01:17:01,496
or that there was
some big misunderstanding,
1349
01:17:01,496 --> 01:17:04,917
or even telling you that
you're the love of my life
1350
01:17:04,917 --> 01:17:06,919
or the only one for me
or anything.
1351
01:17:06,919 --> 01:17:08,754
This isn't even me
trying to win you back.
1352
01:17:08,754 --> 01:17:11,673
- Okay, then what is it?
- It's goodbye.
1353
01:17:14,301 --> 01:17:17,304
I just-- I wanted
to say that I've had
1354
01:17:17,304 --> 01:17:20,140
a lot of bad days
and a few good ones.
1355
01:17:20,140 --> 01:17:24,811
But the ones that
I spent with you, Katie,
were the best ones.
1356
01:17:24,811 --> 01:17:27,981
And I'm so thankful to you
for that.
1357
01:18:03,433 --> 01:18:04,476
You ready?
1358
01:18:08,272 --> 01:18:10,232
I am.
1359
01:18:10,232 --> 01:18:14,069
As I walk through the valley
of the shadow of high school,
1360
01:18:14,069 --> 01:18:17,406
I take with me my memories,
I leave behind my regrets.
1361
01:18:17,406 --> 01:18:20,492
I have loved, lost,
risen, fallen,
1362
01:18:20,492 --> 01:18:22,411
and now I face the beyond.
1363
01:18:22,411 --> 01:18:25,205
May my beatdown inspire those
who still live in fear.
1364
01:18:25,205 --> 01:18:29,293
I am Sid Sandagger,
and I am no longer afraid!
1365
01:18:29,293 --> 01:18:32,004
And I have lived!
1366
01:18:42,806 --> 01:18:45,142
Oh, shit. Oh, fuck.
1367
01:18:45,142 --> 01:18:46,560
How does this shit
fucking work?
1368
01:18:46,560 --> 01:18:50,063
That's definitely
not how it works.
1369
01:18:50,063 --> 01:18:53,567
Hey, buddy. How you feel?
1370
01:18:54,818 --> 01:18:56,195
I'm alive?
1371
01:18:56,195 --> 01:18:57,404
Yeah, you're alive.
1372
01:18:57,404 --> 01:19:00,032
I mean,
you look like a Picasso,
1373
01:19:00,032 --> 01:19:02,034
but you're alive.
1374
01:19:06,622 --> 01:19:08,624
- Oh, my God.
- What?
1375
01:19:08,624 --> 01:19:11,001
What happened to your face?
1376
01:19:11,001 --> 01:19:13,837
Oh, um, I think Luna
might've tagged me by accident.
1377
01:19:13,837 --> 01:19:15,297
She is so strong.
1378
01:19:15,297 --> 01:19:18,050
I think it's the low
center of gravity
1379
01:19:18,050 --> 01:19:21,553
- and the rage issues.
- So what happened?
1380
01:19:21,553 --> 01:19:24,181
You went unconscious
pretty quickly,
and then shit went down.
1381
01:19:26,099 --> 01:19:28,393
Coach: Break it up!
1382
01:19:28,393 --> 01:19:30,854
Dad, listen to me!
I'm a dancer!
1383
01:19:30,854 --> 01:19:31,855
What do you mean
you're a dancer?
1384
01:19:31,855 --> 01:19:33,065
Yeah!
You know what else?
1385
01:19:35,234 --> 01:19:37,486
I wanna dance!
1386
01:19:37,486 --> 01:19:38,820
Somebody dance with me!
1387
01:19:38,820 --> 01:19:40,656
Now I know why pimps
carry canes!
1388
01:19:45,661 --> 01:19:47,287
- Oh, fuck.
- You stupid bitch.
1389
01:19:47,287 --> 01:19:51,250
- No, I thought we were bros!
- Motherfucker!
1390
01:19:51,250 --> 01:19:54,461
I'll kill you, you hear me?
I'll fucking kill you, bitch!
1391
01:19:55,587 --> 01:19:57,005
I hope you choke to death!
1392
01:19:57,005 --> 01:19:58,882
I'll protect you.
1393
01:19:58,882 --> 01:20:00,509
Protect yourself, bitch.
1394
01:20:00,509 --> 01:20:02,970
- Make your melon.
- Yes.
1395
01:20:09,560 --> 01:20:11,937
- You fought Chuck for me?
- Yeah, of course, dude.
1396
01:20:11,937 --> 01:20:14,815
You're my best friend.
1397
01:20:14,815 --> 01:20:18,402
I'm never gonna let
some piece of shit
beat the shit out of you.
1398
01:20:18,402 --> 01:20:23,073
- Can you walk?
- Oh, fuck.
1399
01:20:23,073 --> 01:20:25,117
Dude, I haven't even tri-- oh.
1400
01:20:25,117 --> 01:20:26,910
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, no, I think so.
1401
01:20:26,910 --> 01:20:27,911
Fuck!
1402
01:20:30,122 --> 01:20:33,208
Well, anyway,
there's some people
who might wanna see you.
1403
01:20:33,208 --> 01:20:35,711
Yeah, I'm good.
1404
01:20:38,839 --> 01:20:40,132
Hey.
1405
01:20:42,926 --> 01:20:44,136
Yeah, you're definitely
gonna need stitches.
1406
01:20:44,136 --> 01:20:47,723
- Ow. Oh, fuck.
- Sid! Hey.
1407
01:20:47,723 --> 01:20:53,562
♪ Today I took
my first breath ♪
1408
01:20:53,562 --> 01:20:55,731
Sid, way to take
that punch, man.
1409
01:20:55,731 --> 01:20:57,608
Oh!
1410
01:20:57,608 --> 01:21:02,112
♪ I'm standing
on this broken road ♪
1411
01:21:02,112 --> 01:21:08,076
♪ I'll find my way back home
to you and me ♪
1412
01:21:10,537 --> 01:21:12,956
♪ Hey ♪
1413
01:21:12,956 --> 01:21:15,375
♪ Hey ♪
1414
01:21:15,375 --> 01:21:16,502
♪ Hey ♪
1415
01:21:19,671 --> 01:21:20,964
So we're agreed
on ground rules?
1416
01:21:20,964 --> 01:21:22,299
One night only,
1417
01:21:22,299 --> 01:21:23,383
and then we never
breathe a word of this
1418
01:21:23,383 --> 01:21:24,885
- to anyone ever again.
- Deal.
1419
01:21:24,885 --> 01:21:26,220
Like it never happened.
1420
01:21:26,220 --> 01:21:27,971
- Wanna know something?
- What?
1421
01:21:27,971 --> 01:21:31,767
- I blew up Chuck's car.
- God, you're fucking crazy.
1422
01:21:31,767 --> 01:21:35,604
♪ Today is the day ♪
1423
01:21:46,406 --> 01:21:48,200
Hey.
1424
01:21:48,200 --> 01:21:49,159
Hey.
1425
01:21:50,202 --> 01:21:53,747
How was your day?
1426
01:21:53,747 --> 01:21:54,748
Eventful.
1427
01:21:54,748 --> 01:21:57,292
Can we just start over?
1428
01:21:58,794 --> 01:22:01,046
Yeah.
1429
01:22:01,046 --> 01:22:02,005
I'm Sid.
1430
01:22:04,007 --> 01:22:04,967
I know.
1431
01:22:07,219 --> 01:22:08,679
Do you wanna dance?
1432
01:22:10,597 --> 01:22:11,598
Yeah.
1433
01:22:17,229 --> 01:22:19,022
- Oh!
- What?
1434
01:22:19,022 --> 01:22:20,399
What, what?
What, what, what?
1435
01:22:20,399 --> 01:22:22,609
- What, what? What?
- You bit me!
1436
01:22:22,609 --> 01:22:25,153
Why is your tongue so long?
Are you trying to get
my throat pregnant?
1437
01:22:25,153 --> 01:22:27,447
Oh, my God. Why did I think
this would be a good idea?
1438
01:22:27,447 --> 01:22:30,951
- You kiss like a succubus.
- I hate you so much.
1439
01:22:33,620 --> 01:22:36,623
What, what?
1440
01:22:36,623 --> 01:22:38,208
Will you stick a finger
in my butt?
1441
01:22:42,129 --> 01:22:45,632
- You are so beautiful.
- ♪ Hey ♪
1442
01:22:45,632 --> 01:22:50,637
♪ Today is the day ♪
1443
01:22:50,637 --> 01:22:55,851
♪ Today is our day ♪
1444
01:22:55,851 --> 01:22:57,603
Shit, I have a boner.
1445
01:22:58,896 --> 01:23:00,856
Me too.
1446
01:23:05,027 --> 01:23:10,282
♪ Today is the day ♪
1447
01:23:10,282 --> 01:23:13,869
♪ Today is our day ♪
1448
01:23:13,869 --> 01:23:15,871
♪ For your and me ♪
1449
01:23:18,874 --> 01:23:20,834
♪ For you and me ♪
1450
01:23:23,670 --> 01:23:26,048
♪ For you and me ♪
1451
01:23:28,675 --> 01:23:30,469
♪ For you and me ♪
1452
01:23:51,657 --> 01:23:55,327
♪ All the roads
I've had to choose ♪
1453
01:23:55,327 --> 01:23:58,997
♪ And they all led
back to you ♪
1454
01:23:58,997 --> 01:24:02,668
♪ My eyes are open wide out ♪
1455
01:24:02,668 --> 01:24:05,712
♪ But you put the light out ♪
1456
01:24:05,712 --> 01:24:08,715
♪ You're running me around ♪
1457
01:24:08,715 --> 01:24:12,553
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1458
01:24:12,553 --> 01:24:16,265
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1459
01:24:16,265 --> 01:24:19,852
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1460
01:24:19,852 --> 01:24:21,770
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1461
01:24:21,770 --> 01:24:25,357
♪ I never know
how many roads ♪
1462
01:24:25,357 --> 01:24:29,027
♪ I'll have to choose ♪
1463
01:24:29,027 --> 01:24:31,363
♪ It's not a bed of roses ♪
1464
01:24:31,363 --> 01:24:33,365
♪ You never notice ♪
1465
01:24:33,365 --> 01:24:36,368
♪ You never knew ♪
1466
01:24:36,368 --> 01:24:40,956
♪ I hope you don't hit your
back side when you roll out ♪
1467
01:24:40,956 --> 01:24:44,751
♪ And you never
used to roll the dice
till you slowed down ♪
1468
01:24:44,751 --> 01:24:48,589
♪ Now I hope
you hit your back side,
hit your back side ♪
1469
01:24:48,589 --> 01:24:51,049
♪ When you roll out ♪
1470
01:24:51,049 --> 01:24:54,052
♪ You're running me around ♪
1471
01:24:54,052 --> 01:24:57,723
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1472
01:24:57,723 --> 01:25:01,435
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1473
01:25:01,435 --> 01:25:05,063
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1474
01:25:05,063 --> 01:25:08,734
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1475
01:25:08,734 --> 01:25:12,404
♪ Who you calling
in the middle of the night? ♪
1476
01:25:12,404 --> 01:25:16,074
♪ I know you miss it
and you wish it was right ♪
1477
01:25:16,074 --> 01:25:19,745
♪ I know you wish you knew
what you know now ♪
1478
01:25:19,745 --> 01:25:24,041
♪ But I can't take you when
you're running me around ♪
1479
01:25:37,638 --> 01:25:41,558
♪ All the roads
I've had to choose ♪
1480
01:25:41,558 --> 01:25:44,645
♪ And they all led
back to you ♪
1481
01:25:44,645 --> 01:25:48,649
♪ My eyes are open wide out ♪
1482
01:25:48,649 --> 01:25:52,236
♪ But you put the light out ♪
1483
01:25:52,236 --> 01:25:54,029
♪ I hope you know
you're gonna hit ♪
1484
01:25:54,029 --> 01:25:57,032
♪ Your back side
when you roll out ♪
1485
01:25:57,032 --> 01:25:59,034
♪ I know I used to
roll the dice ♪
1486
01:25:59,034 --> 01:26:00,744
♪ Till I slowed down ♪
1487
01:26:00,744 --> 01:26:02,663
♪ I hope you
hit your back side,
1488
01:26:02,663 --> 01:26:06,834
♪ Hit your back side
when you roll out ♪
1489
01:26:06,834 --> 01:26:09,670
♪ You're running me around ♪
1490
01:26:09,670 --> 01:26:13,465
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1491
01:26:13,465 --> 01:26:17,177
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1492
01:26:17,177 --> 01:26:21,056
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1493
01:26:21,056 --> 01:26:24,685
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1494
01:26:24,685 --> 01:26:28,480
♪ Don't start, don't start ♪
1495
01:26:28,480 --> 01:26:33,235
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1496
01:26:36,196 --> 01:26:41,243
♪ Don't start
running me around ♪
1497
01:27:04,725 --> 01:27:08,729
♪ The cycle never
really ends ♪
1498
01:27:08,729 --> 01:27:12,107
♪ You and me were left out ♪
1499
01:27:12,107 --> 01:27:14,902
♪ I'm stuck inside
the glass again ♪
1500
01:27:14,902 --> 01:27:17,112
♪ Tell me everything
about it ♪
1501
01:27:17,112 --> 01:27:20,115
♪ Now I can't explain ♪
1502
01:27:20,115 --> 01:27:23,911
♪ Everything inside
your brain ♪
1503
01:27:23,911 --> 01:27:26,538
♪ Is turning inside out ♪
1504
01:27:26,538 --> 01:27:30,501
♪ And upside down ♪
1505
01:27:32,753 --> 01:27:36,548
♪ I think I'm just
your bad habit ♪
1506
01:27:36,548 --> 01:27:40,552
♪ I think I'm just
your bad habit ♪
1507
01:27:40,552 --> 01:27:43,931
♪ I think I'm just
your bad habit ♪
1508
01:27:43,931 --> 01:27:46,892
♪ I think I'm just your--
just your ♪
1509
01:28:01,949 --> 01:28:05,369
♪ Hurting from
a tough crowd ♪
1510
01:28:05,369 --> 01:28:09,373
♪ Cool classic
playing on the brain ♪
1511
01:28:09,373 --> 01:28:13,377
♪ We're craving
all the old times ♪
1512
01:28:13,377 --> 01:28:15,796
♪ Just to bring back
all the pain ♪
1513
01:28:15,796 --> 01:28:18,382
♪ Tell me everything
about it ♪
1514
01:28:18,382 --> 01:28:21,176
♪ Now I can't explain ♪
1515
01:28:21,176 --> 01:28:24,805
♪ Everything inside
your brain ♪
1516
01:28:24,805 --> 01:28:27,599
♪ Is turning inside out ♪
1517
01:28:27,599 --> 01:28:31,770
♪ And upside down ♪
1518
01:28:33,605 --> 01:28:37,609
♪ I think I'm just
your bad habit ♪
1519
01:28:37,609 --> 01:28:41,405
♪ I think I'm just
your bad habit ♪
1520
01:28:41,405 --> 01:28:44,992
♪ I think I'm just
your bad habit ♪
1521
01:28:44,992 --> 01:28:48,620
♪ I think I'm just your--
just your habit ♪
1522
01:28:48,620 --> 01:28:51,623
♪ Makes me wanna scream ♪
1523
01:28:51,623 --> 01:28:55,419
♪ Feeling like I'm 17 ♪
1524
01:28:55,419 --> 01:28:59,631
♪ Pick a fight
and make a scene ♪
1525
01:28:59,631 --> 01:29:02,593
♪ Think I'm just
your bad habit ♪
1526
01:29:19,651 --> 01:29:23,447
♪ I think I'm just
your bad habit ♪
1527
01:29:23,447 --> 01:29:27,242
♪ I think I'm just
your bad habit ♪
1528
01:29:27,242 --> 01:29:30,871
♪ I think I'm just
your bad habit ♪
1529
01:29:30,871 --> 01:29:34,041
♪ I think I'm just your--
just your ♪
110454
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