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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,230 Being an adult is 80% misery. 2 00:00:14,430 --> 00:00:15,890 [Whimsical tune plays] 3 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:17,360 I think you're at 80. 4 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:18,700 I'm at 30. 5 00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:19,900 [Clinking] 6 00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,700 I do think the press may pick up the poem, 7 00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:24,270 [Snickers] once they hear it. 8 00:00:24,470 --> 00:00:25,640 He abandoned us. 9 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:27,240 He abandoned you. 10 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:28,710 Now, he's moving back. 11 00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:30,780 They want me to make a list of people to fire. 12 00:00:30,980 --> 00:00:32,650 They were concerned that you might panic, 13 00:00:32,850 --> 00:00:35,450 but I said, "No! They're all adults." 14 00:00:35,650 --> 00:00:39,150 Railton is just a town that can suck you in. 15 00:00:39,350 --> 00:00:40,840 Are you trying to get me to leave? 16 00:00:43,770 --> 00:00:45,320 [ "Won't You Tell Your Dreams?" by Lee Hazelwood playing] 17 00:00:45,530 --> 00:00:50,130 * Da, da... da, da, da, da, da * 18 00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:56,150 * I've learned to do some simple things * 19 00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:59,970 * Like lock the door 20 00:01:00,170 --> 00:01:01,910 * And shut the lights 21 00:01:02,110 --> 00:01:03,440 [Young Hank's parents arguing] 22 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:09,480 * And pay the paperboy on time * 23 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:14,490 * And try and miss you less each night * 24 00:01:14,690 --> 00:01:15,650 [parents arguing] 25 00:01:15,850 --> 00:01:20,990 * So please won't you tell your dreams... * 26 00:01:21,190 --> 00:01:22,760 [clock chiming] 27 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:27,830 * ...To leave my room alone? 28 00:01:28,030 --> 00:01:29,800 [clock chiming] 29 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:36,180 * Please won't you tell your dreams * 30 00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:41,310 * To leave my room alone? 31 00:01:41,510 --> 00:01:43,380 [clock chiming] 32 00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:49,890 * Da, da... da, da, da, da, da * 33 00:01:50,090 --> 00:01:56,730 * Da, da... da, da, da, da, da... * 34 00:01:56,930 --> 00:02:03,570 * Da, da... da, da, da, da, da * 35 00:02:03,770 --> 00:02:08,710 * Da, da... da, da, da, da, da... * 36 00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:10,830 [groans] 37 00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:19,570 [**] 38 00:02:39,590 --> 00:02:42,860 [**] 39 00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:48,100 [**] 40 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,870 [phone ringing] 41 00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:57,520 Tom, this isn't a good time. 42 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,010 You got it! 43 00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:02,260 What do you mean? You said that-- 44 00:03:02,460 --> 00:03:04,530 I know, but they loved you, Lil. 45 00:03:04,730 --> 00:03:06,450 They want you to start as soon as you can. 46 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,300 Okay. Slow down. 47 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:11,270 I didn't say I could take this. You know that. 48 00:03:11,470 --> 00:03:12,270 I know that, 49 00:03:12,470 --> 00:03:13,410 but this is a great school, 50 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,140 and you'd love it here. 51 00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:17,480 You had all these ideas about education back in school. 52 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,250 We'll do them here, and you know it will be funded. 53 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:21,280 [door opens] 54 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:22,380 Okay. I have to go. 55 00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:23,780 Talk to Hank, and then come. 56 00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:24,880 You deserve this. 57 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,790 Okay. Thank you. Bye. 58 00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:28,450 Hey. 59 00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:29,790 Hi. 60 00:03:29,990 --> 00:03:33,560 I was just looking at the grandfather clock out there, 61 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:34,990 in the pod. 62 00:03:35,190 --> 00:03:36,060 It's a nice piece. 63 00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:37,930 Your father's clock? 64 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:41,770 The clock that I possess on my property. 65 00:03:41,970 --> 00:03:43,150 When is that pod going? 66 00:03:44,650 --> 00:03:45,800 I'm going to keep the clock. 67 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,220 You want it in the house? 68 00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:48,970 That piece is different. 69 00:03:49,170 --> 00:03:51,490 I always thought of it as a friend. 70 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,560 Oh. That's sweet. 71 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,250 Hey, we're missing two settings. 72 00:03:58,450 --> 00:04:00,290 We are not. 73 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,150 Well, how many are we? 74 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,660 Um... 75 00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:05,120 Billie, Gracie, 76 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:06,290 Teddy, June, 77 00:04:06,490 --> 00:04:08,510 Rourke, Joanie, Emma. 78 00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:10,830 I'm missing someone. 79 00:04:11,030 --> 00:04:12,270 Finny, and us. 80 00:04:12,470 --> 00:04:13,930 You know, one time, 81 00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:16,470 we should throw a dinner party for people we actually like. 82 00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:17,800 You know, change of pace. 83 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,000 Do you remember 84 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:23,210 when you accidentally made punch with 151-proof rum, 85 00:04:23,410 --> 00:04:24,940 and Gracie fell asleep under the table? 86 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,680 That was fun. 87 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,810 Although with the budget cuts, I don't know. 88 00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:29,850 This year might be grim. 89 00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:31,650 Ten water glasses. 90 00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:35,050 You know, tonight is about lowering expectations. 91 00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:37,360 That way, we might be pleasantly surprised. 92 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,460 That was almost optimism. 93 00:04:39,660 --> 00:04:40,730 No, No, no. 94 00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:43,300 I know what's going to happen. 95 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,460 One of these bozos is going to break down crying. 96 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:46,820 It happens every year. 97 00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:49,740 And then... 98 00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:51,540 another bozo will reveal 99 00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:54,040 something embarrassing and personal, 100 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,040 and we're all left sitting there staring at each other, 101 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,480 wondering what the hell's going on? 102 00:04:58,680 --> 00:04:59,880 All right. 103 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,380 Eyes wide open. 104 00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:03,680 When did you check the stew last? 105 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,070 [doorbell rings] 106 00:05:06,030 --> 00:05:07,650 Okay, eight minutes early. 107 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:09,250 That'll be the Washington-Chens. 108 00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:10,760 - Shall we? - [phone ringing] 109 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,730 Oh, I have to take this. I'll just be a minute. 110 00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:16,510 Hey, Ash. 111 00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:19,700 I wonder who does their landscaping. 112 00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:22,170 This is-- this is what chair money gets you, huh? 113 00:05:22,370 --> 00:05:23,740 I guess so. 114 00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:25,020 Hey! 115 00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:27,510 - Hey! - Hi. How are you? 116 00:05:27,710 --> 00:05:28,840 Right in there, yeah, yeah. 117 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:30,180 No, I need your help with something. 118 00:05:30,380 --> 00:05:32,240 Oh. Oh. Um... 119 00:05:32,450 --> 00:05:33,950 Hi. 120 00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:36,280 [Ashley] You're coming to New York! 121 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:37,920 Oh, no. 122 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,890 No. It's just an offer. I'm not taking it. 123 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:41,920 I can't. There's just-- 124 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,690 You know, there's just too many obstacles. 125 00:05:43,890 --> 00:05:46,630 Oh. But you want to, right? 126 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:48,290 I mean... 127 00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:49,600 if there was no other considerations, 128 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,430 then of course I want to. 129 00:05:51,630 --> 00:05:53,930 Oh. Hmm. Is Hank mad about what happened? 130 00:05:54,130 --> 00:05:55,730 Nothing happened. 131 00:05:55,930 --> 00:05:57,070 Oh, you didn't tell him. 132 00:05:57,270 --> 00:05:58,770 Nothing happened. 133 00:05:58,970 --> 00:06:00,070 Well, look, no, right. 134 00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:01,440 I wouldn't have told my husband either. 135 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:02,580 Come on. 136 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,280 Look, he surprised me. 137 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,080 I was on the phone, I wasn't even paying attention. 138 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:07,750 It was nothing. 139 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:10,920 It looks heavy. 140 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,870 You can't see weight. 141 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:15,790 What if we drop it? 142 00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:19,140 Don't let go with your hands, and we won't drop it. 143 00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:22,060 No! No! Put it down! Put it down! 144 00:06:22,260 --> 00:06:23,800 Put it down. Put it down! 145 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,330 What happened? 146 00:06:26,530 --> 00:06:28,000 I panicked. 147 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,840 I can't leave it out here. It's going to rain. 148 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:31,000 Yeah. Sorry, Hank. 149 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,840 My brass band plays Sunday, 150 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,310 and, you know, the French horn, 151 00:06:34,510 --> 00:06:36,580 it's much more latissimus-centric 152 00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:38,110 than most people think. 153 00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:39,980 I can't risk a strain. 154 00:06:40,180 --> 00:06:42,250 Oh, Lil. I can't wait for your ass to get here. 155 00:06:42,450 --> 00:06:44,480 I mean, I'm not as eager as Tom or anything. 156 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,820 I mean, that guy's, like, drooling for you. 157 00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:48,790 - Okay, stop it. - [door closes] 158 00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:49,940 Okay, I gotta go. 159 00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:55,990 Make yourself something. I-- 160 00:06:56,190 --> 00:06:57,000 - Was it Teddy and June? - Yeah. 161 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,130 Are you okay? 162 00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:00,680 I got the job. The Arlyle job. 163 00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:03,800 You did? That's amazing! 164 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,470 I mean, of course you did. 165 00:07:06,670 --> 00:07:07,870 You're amazing. 166 00:07:08,070 --> 00:07:09,840 - I'm so proud of you. - Thank you. 167 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:10,840 I really didn't expect to get it. 168 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:12,680 Is it a good offer? 169 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,010 Did you talk specifics? 170 00:07:14,210 --> 00:07:15,110 - We didn't get into it. - Yeah. 171 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,180 It's an offer. 172 00:07:16,380 --> 00:07:17,530 Fantastic news. 173 00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:21,690 Oh... 174 00:07:21,890 --> 00:07:23,020 talk about leverage, right? 175 00:07:23,220 --> 00:07:24,960 You are going to bring East Railton High to its knees. 176 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,490 You're going to get so many cleaning supplies, 177 00:07:26,690 --> 00:07:28,030 they're going to give you your own closet. 178 00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:29,190 Right? 179 00:07:29,390 --> 00:07:30,630 Yeah, totally. 180 00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:32,150 I'm going to be queen of that place. 181 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:44,710 [**] 182 00:07:44,910 --> 00:07:45,530 Hello. 183 00:07:45,790 --> 00:07:46,980 Hey. 184 00:07:47,180 --> 00:07:48,580 - Welcome. - Thank you. 185 00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:49,580 Uh, Lily? 186 00:07:49,780 --> 00:07:50,850 She's right in the kitchen. Yeah. 187 00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:52,300 Okay. Thanks. 188 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:55,720 Now, before you come in, 189 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,510 could you help me with something? 190 00:07:58,740 --> 00:08:00,480 Just that. 191 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:05,150 Oh! Oh! Would you like me to also bust up a chifforobe? 192 00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:09,420 I'm not your moving company. 193 00:08:20,230 --> 00:08:22,110 [ "Y Sin Embargo T Estabas Ah " by Pippo Spera playing] 194 00:08:22,310 --> 00:08:25,380 [Hank, thinking] Why do people my age have parties? 195 00:08:25,580 --> 00:08:26,950 I mean, I get it when you're in your 20s, 196 00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:28,690 and it's all about getting laid, 197 00:08:28,890 --> 00:08:30,460 but what's in it for us? 198 00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:33,130 I think it's the same reason people gamble. 199 00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:34,790 The thrill of possibility. 200 00:08:34,990 --> 00:08:35,930 The roll of the die. 201 00:08:36,130 --> 00:08:36,930 Right before the party, 202 00:08:37,130 --> 00:08:38,030 where you think, "What if? 203 00:08:38,230 --> 00:08:41,200 What if I have a good conversation? 204 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,770 What if a real friendship emerges? 205 00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:46,070 What if Penelope Cruz's car breaks down outside 206 00:08:46,270 --> 00:08:48,110 and she needs to stay for dinner?" 207 00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:49,780 But then the party starts. 208 00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:52,980 The die is cast, and everybody is a loser. 209 00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:56,110 [in French] * ...Par la fen tre ouverte * 210 00:08:56,310 --> 00:08:58,720 * Posait sur ton corps d nud ... * 211 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,950 Why don't we have a view of the lake? 212 00:09:01,150 --> 00:09:01,990 Paul. 213 00:09:02,190 --> 00:09:03,720 - Not again. - What? 214 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:04,910 I shouldn't have this? 215 00:09:06,140 --> 00:09:07,290 It's not the Mediterranean. 216 00:09:07,490 --> 00:09:08,960 It's a modest lake in Pennsylvania. 217 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:10,480 I can't have a view of it? 218 00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:14,170 Well, I'm very happy where we live. 219 00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:17,300 All right, but you'd be happier here. 220 00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,140 Hmm? 221 00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:21,440 Right? 222 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:22,440 See? 223 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:23,810 This is some bullshit. 224 00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:25,140 This place should be mine. 225 00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:27,180 Did I tell you I outbid him by ten grand? 226 00:09:27,380 --> 00:09:28,850 Yeah, like a hundred times. 227 00:09:29,050 --> 00:09:29,820 And you also told me 228 00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:31,080 how you showed up here with a builder 229 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,620 and told that old man that was selling the place 230 00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:34,840 that you were going to tear down his childhood home. 231 00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:38,840 Yeah, well, this place was a dump. 232 00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:41,910 Still is. 233 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,260 You know, I bet Hank doesn't even know what he has. 234 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,530 But if it was mine, 235 00:09:46,730 --> 00:09:49,920 I would clear this path so you could get to the lake. 236 00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:53,790 Build my deck out. 237 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:58,040 Lily. 238 00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,040 Oh, hi. 239 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,110 It's been so long. 240 00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:01,180 - I know. - Thanks for doing this. 241 00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:02,720 Thank you for being here. 242 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:03,920 This is fun. 243 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,390 Hank mentioned you, uh, had an interview at Arlyle. 244 00:10:07,590 --> 00:10:08,820 He did? 245 00:10:09,020 --> 00:10:10,290 Oh, I forget he talks about me sometimes. 246 00:10:10,490 --> 00:10:12,020 I know that school. 247 00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:13,860 They're a huge a cappella feeder. 248 00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:15,380 Five of the 14 Whiffenpoofs. 249 00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:17,360 Oh, I didn't know. 250 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:18,460 Yeah. 251 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:19,830 So? 252 00:10:20,030 --> 00:10:20,900 How'd it go? 253 00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:21,970 It went very well. 254 00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:25,240 Um, I have an offer, actually. 255 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,370 Um, but, you know, 256 00:10:26,570 --> 00:10:27,970 it's very complicated right now, so. 257 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:30,040 But you're taking it, though, right? 258 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:31,540 No. 259 00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:33,000 Are you crazy? 260 00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:37,050 I mean, um... 261 00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:38,570 why not? 262 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,740 Well, I can't take a job in New York right now. 263 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,220 Oh... 264 00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:45,410 That's too bad. 265 00:10:46,910 --> 00:10:48,910 Well, congratulations anyway. 266 00:10:50,410 --> 00:10:52,060 Thanks. 267 00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:53,320 Excuse me. 268 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,100 [Emma] So if I taste it, 269 00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:58,570 it's not like a stroke, it's actually in there. 270 00:10:58,770 --> 00:11:00,910 Yeah, it's not artificial rust, it's real. 271 00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:02,170 [Teddy] Oh, okay. 272 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:03,210 Real prepared rust. 273 00:11:03,410 --> 00:11:04,340 Great. Perfect. 274 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:05,340 [Teddy] Okay. 275 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,180 Yeah, and it is just... 276 00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:08,180 Oh, we're still talking about this. 277 00:11:08,380 --> 00:11:09,210 ...such a magnificent animal. 278 00:11:09,410 --> 00:11:11,550 I actually like going 279 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,750 to the school plays of my friends' children. 280 00:11:13,950 --> 00:11:14,890 That's gross. 281 00:11:15,090 --> 00:11:16,760 No. The bottomless need for attention, 282 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,590 it's not yet ugly, 283 00:11:18,790 --> 00:11:19,890 unlike adult actors. 284 00:11:20,090 --> 00:11:21,530 Doesn't a bottomless need for attention 285 00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:23,100 make you feel at home? 286 00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:25,060 Why would I think that tonight would be any different? 287 00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:26,400 I don't know. 288 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:27,870 You can take the asshole out of the English department, 289 00:11:28,070 --> 00:11:29,070 but you can't take-- 290 00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:30,270 No. It's not going to make sense. 291 00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:31,440 Hold on. 292 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:32,770 You can't take the English department out of-- 293 00:11:32,970 --> 00:11:33,740 Nope. 294 00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:36,110 They can trace its lineage back to 1882. 295 00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:37,140 Whoa. 296 00:11:37,340 --> 00:11:38,410 I can't do that with my own family. 297 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:39,810 Well, they hate you, so. 298 00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:41,280 No. Now, if June doesn't give me a baby 299 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:42,280 by next year, 300 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:43,320 I'm getting two. 301 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:44,450 That's not how babies work. 302 00:11:44,650 --> 00:11:46,990 I'm throwing away her stupid, little cat-dogs. 303 00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:48,290 Oh, okay. 304 00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,460 You won't believe what I just heard. 305 00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:52,830 Lily got a job offer at the Arlyle School, 306 00:11:53,030 --> 00:11:53,990 and she's not taking it. 307 00:11:54,190 --> 00:11:56,160 - You mean she's taking it. - Right? 308 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,260 I mean, she has to take it. 309 00:11:57,460 --> 00:11:59,300 [clears throat] 310 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,670 You know, 311 00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:03,940 if the university really wanted to help with department morale, 312 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,100 they'd give us a stipend to keep us apart. 313 00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:07,410 [Lily chuckles] 314 00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:10,240 Well, maybe we should take the job. 315 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,180 We'd have a whole new set of circumstances 316 00:12:12,380 --> 00:12:13,680 to complain about. 317 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:14,750 Yeah, that's true. 318 00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:16,830 And there's New York, of course. 319 00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:19,730 You're not serious, are you? 320 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:21,750 Maybe I am. 321 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,160 Yeah, but we already talked about this. 322 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,520 Only in theory. 323 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:26,490 There was no offer before, so. 324 00:12:26,690 --> 00:12:27,690 It's real now. 325 00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:29,130 - [Gracie] You heard about that. - [Billie] Shenanigan. 326 00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:30,800 Yeah. All right. 327 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,930 Well, um... 328 00:12:33,130 --> 00:12:34,170 maybe we should have this conversation 329 00:12:34,370 --> 00:12:35,670 when we're hosting a bigger event, 330 00:12:35,870 --> 00:12:37,170 like a wedding, or a parade. 331 00:12:37,370 --> 00:12:38,540 [Lily chuckles] 332 00:12:38,740 --> 00:12:40,290 Okay. You're right. We'll talk about it later. 333 00:12:41,790 --> 00:12:44,230 Well, sure, 334 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,970 [**] 335 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,940 Oh, hey, guys. 336 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,360 Hi. Yeah. 337 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,060 Ah. 338 00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:07,900 You didn't mention a department dinner party. 339 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:10,540 I did not. I wanted you to come over. 340 00:13:10,740 --> 00:13:11,570 Drink? 341 00:13:11,770 --> 00:13:13,560 I think something stronger. 342 00:13:16,890 --> 00:13:18,410 Hello. June, is it? 343 00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:19,710 Tony. We've met a couple of times. 344 00:13:19,910 --> 00:13:20,710 Of course. 345 00:13:20,910 --> 00:13:22,310 Hi. 346 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,020 Did I see you're giving a talk on The Hunger Games ? 347 00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,390 As it relates to the gladiatorial ludi. 348 00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:29,420 I'm doing a seminar on the literature of antiquity. 349 00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:31,690 What a perfect way to liven it up. 350 00:13:31,890 --> 00:13:33,030 These kids and their bloodlust. 351 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,230 [June] Mm-hmm. 352 00:13:34,430 --> 00:13:36,530 You know, they also respond to sex. 353 00:13:36,730 --> 00:13:38,000 Oh? 354 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,360 [June] Yeah. 355 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,100 I show them everything they know about eroticism in storytelling 356 00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,570 can be traced back to the etchings on the pyramids. 357 00:13:43,770 --> 00:13:45,240 In fact, 358 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,240 the very first Egyptian god-- 359 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,340 - Atum. - Atum, that's right. 360 00:13:48,540 --> 00:13:49,840 He created himself, 361 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,410 but he had no wife, 362 00:13:51,610 --> 00:13:53,410 so in order to beget his children, 363 00:13:53,610 --> 00:13:54,750 Shu and Tefnut, 364 00:13:54,950 --> 00:13:55,880 he masturbated. 365 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,580 Good for him, 366 00:13:57,780 --> 00:13:59,920 but from my own experience with masturbation, 367 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,350 I'm only hearing half the story. 368 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,460 Does your husband teach similar subject matter? 369 00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:05,020 Oh, no. 370 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,540 No. He doesn't get to show his students Caligula, either. 371 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:09,730 - [Tony] And you do? - [June] Yeah. 372 00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:10,860 [Tony] Wow. 373 00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:12,100 I wish I had some relevant porn 374 00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:14,370 to help my students connect to philosophy, 375 00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:17,070 but it's tough to rely on their attention spans. 376 00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:18,450 - So tough. - Right? 377 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,310 Well, you should come to my talk. 378 00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:22,810 I will. 379 00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:24,610 It's a date. 380 00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:25,940 Okay. 381 00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:27,130 Great. 382 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:36,990 - You can have her, you know. - What? 383 00:14:37,190 --> 00:14:38,970 They have an open marriage. 384 00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:43,750 Interesting. 385 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,240 So what are the ethics of this situation? 386 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,640 Do I just hit on a married woman 387 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,310 in front of her husband without feeling badly? 388 00:14:53,510 --> 00:14:54,510 Is that how this works? 389 00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:56,340 No. There's a whole protocol involved. 390 00:14:56,540 --> 00:14:58,640 How do you know this? 391 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,510 Teddy has the hots for Lily, but-- 392 00:15:00,710 --> 00:15:01,980 Let's put it down. 393 00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:04,120 ...June vetoed it. 394 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,150 You know, don't sleep with the boss' wife. 395 00:15:07,350 --> 00:15:09,940 I'm letting him think that's the only obstacle. 396 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,490 All right. Good to go? 397 00:15:14,690 --> 00:15:17,160 Lily can't get the dream of moving to New York 398 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,330 out of her head. 399 00:15:18,530 --> 00:15:20,580 It's a 20-year fantasy. 400 00:15:21,650 --> 00:15:22,530 Well, if she wants to go so bad, 401 00:15:22,730 --> 00:15:23,850 why aren't you guys there already? 402 00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:27,360 Because it's a fantasy. 403 00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:30,480 She doesn't really want to go. 404 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,360 Is that what you want? 405 00:15:33,830 --> 00:15:35,380 Are you kidding me? What do I want? 406 00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:37,220 How the hell do I know what I want? 407 00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:38,620 [Finny] Gentlemen. 408 00:15:38,820 --> 00:15:40,720 Oh. 409 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,020 Is this the same bottle of wine 410 00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,720 that we've been giving each other since you got tenure? 411 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:44,790 The one and the same. 412 00:15:44,990 --> 00:15:46,620 Aw, that is so sweet. 413 00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:47,890 I'll take it inside. 414 00:15:48,090 --> 00:15:49,480 You know, I got this-- 415 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,610 Good? 416 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,620 I should have been a surgeon. 417 00:15:59,050 --> 00:16:00,990 - Yes. There we go. - Oh, missed that. 418 00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:05,560 [Finny] ...like redundancy... 419 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,800 [grandfather clock ticking] 420 00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:16,840 [indistinct party conversation continues] 421 00:16:18,070 --> 00:16:22,010 [**] 422 00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:29,820 [**] 423 00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:33,770 Wow. Look at this feast. 424 00:16:33,970 --> 00:16:35,510 I've got to be careful not to have too much stew. 425 00:16:35,710 --> 00:16:37,010 Yeah. Watch your mouth. 426 00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:38,740 Yeah. Hmm. 427 00:16:38,940 --> 00:16:41,450 So, Lil. 428 00:16:41,650 --> 00:16:42,710 Congratulations on the job. 429 00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:44,380 Oh, June's been talking. 430 00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:45,450 [chuckling] 431 00:16:45,650 --> 00:16:46,420 Well, it sounds like an opportunity 432 00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:47,950 too impossible to pass up. 433 00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:50,260 - Thank you, Paul. - Right? 434 00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:52,460 Well, listen, guys, um, 435 00:16:52,660 --> 00:16:53,790 if you're headed to New York, 436 00:16:53,990 --> 00:16:55,760 I'm still interested in this place. 437 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,760 [Lily] You're still-- We've lived here for 18 years. 438 00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,400 18? 439 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:04,140 No one should live in the same place for 18 years. 440 00:17:04,340 --> 00:17:06,200 We'll keep that in mind. 441 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,720 We're not going anywhere. 442 00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:10,230 [Rourke] All right. All right. 443 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:12,980 All right. Yeah. 444 00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:16,150 Um, but, you know, I'll make you a nice offer. 445 00:17:16,350 --> 00:17:17,280 Ah. Got it. 446 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:18,880 I'll go 5% over market value. 447 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,220 Honey, they said no. 448 00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:22,590 You'll need every penny in New York. 449 00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:23,590 Those places are for real. 450 00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:26,290 Yeah, but we're not selling, right? 451 00:17:26,490 --> 00:17:27,730 Just because you get an offer for something 452 00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:28,690 doesn't mean that you have to-- 453 00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:29,790 Wait. Wait. Wait, wait. 454 00:17:29,990 --> 00:17:30,750 We were going to talk about it later, right? 455 00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:33,130 So we'll get back to you. 456 00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:35,050 Wha-- Wait. What? 457 00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:38,940 - [glass shattering] - Whoa! Cosmo down! 458 00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:39,990 Here I come. 459 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,060 [**] 460 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,450 Hey, June. 461 00:17:55,650 --> 00:17:56,350 Tony. 462 00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:59,320 I heard that you-- 463 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:00,290 What? 464 00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:01,630 Well, uh, what did I hear? 465 00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:02,630 What was it? 466 00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:05,130 That-- What are you into? What's your jam? 467 00:18:05,330 --> 00:18:06,130 What is my jam? 468 00:18:06,330 --> 00:18:09,670 Um, uh, we hike, a lot. 469 00:18:09,870 --> 00:18:10,970 Mm, no. 470 00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:11,970 That wasn't it. 471 00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:13,140 [Teddy] Hey. 472 00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:14,440 Hey. Hi. 473 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:15,270 That's your husband, right here. 474 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:16,210 [June] There you go. 475 00:18:16,410 --> 00:18:17,780 There he is, and that's his drink, 476 00:18:17,980 --> 00:18:18,780 so that's great. 477 00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:21,450 Um, we were just talking about hiking, 478 00:18:21,650 --> 00:18:24,350 and, um, if you had any great routes, 479 00:18:24,550 --> 00:18:25,820 or other interests 480 00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:27,350 completely different from hiking. 481 00:18:27,550 --> 00:18:28,990 I'm super interested in all-- 482 00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:30,890 Let's just stick to hiking, because that's a great-- 483 00:18:31,090 --> 00:18:32,360 Oh. No, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 484 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:34,660 We took a great hike through Jasper Park. 485 00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:35,690 - Jasper. - Yeah, yeah. 486 00:18:35,890 --> 00:18:36,990 Enter in through the south side, 487 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,200 and keep taking the center trail. 488 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,160 Great. 489 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,130 - Yeah. It's beautiful. - Oh, yeah, great. 490 00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:45,200 Um, and when you do hiking... 491 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,340 do you-- 492 00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:50,210 is it just the two of you hiking? 493 00:18:50,410 --> 00:18:51,580 When you hike... 494 00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:52,640 together? 495 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:56,550 Or sometimes, like, you hike separately. 496 00:18:56,750 --> 00:18:57,820 Or is there, like, a club? 497 00:18:58,020 --> 00:18:58,880 Do you go-- 498 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:03,140 Do you do hiking with other hikers and people? 499 00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:05,990 Are you asking us out? 500 00:19:06,190 --> 00:19:07,840 June. Just June. 501 00:19:09,510 --> 00:19:10,400 You didn't have to pretend 502 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,000 you were interested in our hiking routes. 503 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,400 Sorry. Although I am a hiker myself, 504 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:15,570 and appreciate suggestions. 505 00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:17,700 Hey. Can I ask you something? 506 00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:19,240 Hmm? 507 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:20,870 Do you think Lily's going to take that job? 508 00:19:21,070 --> 00:19:21,870 Yeah. 509 00:19:22,070 --> 00:19:24,280 Oh, I thought-- Um, I don't know. 510 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:25,910 Um, maybe? 511 00:19:26,110 --> 00:19:26,910 She wants to. 512 00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:29,010 I thought for sure she'd take it. 513 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,620 Yeah. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. 514 00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:31,920 Why wouldn't she, right? 515 00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:34,720 Yeah. So the conversation we were having before this one-- 516 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,590 Yeah. You were flirting with my wife. 517 00:19:36,790 --> 00:19:39,090 Yeah. 518 00:19:39,290 --> 00:19:42,590 So, did I cross a boundary, 519 00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:45,800 or am I within the framework? 520 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,570 And if so, are we talking something happening? 521 00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:52,020 Because that would be pretty fantastic. 522 00:19:54,190 --> 00:19:55,190 We'll get back to you. 523 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:57,580 Okay. 524 00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,250 Fair enough. 525 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:01,250 Good, well, good. 526 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:05,200 I look forward to your response. 527 00:20:06,270 --> 00:20:07,990 - Cheers. - Don't do that. 528 00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:10,290 Did he just bow because I'm Asian? 529 00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:11,990 I think that was a bow, yeah. 530 00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:14,790 [Finny] I love Jack Nicholson in Chinatown. 531 00:20:14,990 --> 00:20:16,130 And, you know, 532 00:20:16,330 --> 00:20:18,500 Faye Dunaway is so beautiful in that movie. 533 00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:19,660 [Emma] Oh, my gosh, I know. 534 00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:21,130 [Finny] I could just watch her for... forever. 535 00:20:21,330 --> 00:20:22,330 [Emma] So tragic. 536 00:20:22,530 --> 00:20:23,800 [Finny] Yeah. I mean, I could-- 537 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,670 I could watch her read the telephone book because... 538 00:20:25,870 --> 00:20:26,770 - Who couldn't? - ...she's so delightful. 539 00:20:26,970 --> 00:20:27,840 Do you know that Robert Towne 540 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,810 didn't even want the last line to be, 541 00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:31,480 "Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown." 542 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,080 - That's the best line. - It's the best line! 543 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,150 Did you guys ever finish your argument about Pinocchio ? 544 00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:37,180 [chuckles] 545 00:20:37,380 --> 00:20:38,950 Well, "argument" is a little strong. 546 00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:40,820 Interpretation is, by its nature, 547 00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:42,320 a bit of a sticky wicket. 548 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:43,790 What were the issues again? 549 00:20:43,990 --> 00:20:45,320 Oh, yeah. It's racist, 550 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,660 and it's filled with allusions to child slavery 551 00:20:47,860 --> 00:20:49,590 and demented Christian ideology. 552 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:50,530 Yeah, except it's not. 553 00:20:50,730 --> 00:20:52,680 [Gracie screaming] 554 00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:56,830 I'm being published in The Atlantic ! 555 00:20:57,030 --> 00:20:57,940 Oh. 556 00:20:58,140 --> 00:20:59,000 They're-- They're publishing me! 557 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,340 That's wonderful. 558 00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:01,340 Congratulations. 559 00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:02,270 That's-- 560 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,310 Yeah, so are you okay? 561 00:21:03,510 --> 00:21:04,540 [Rourke] Yay. 562 00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:06,010 [Gracie shrieking] 563 00:21:06,210 --> 00:21:07,700 - Wonderful. - [shrieks] 564 00:21:09,700 --> 00:21:11,300 [applauding] 565 00:21:14,670 --> 00:21:15,890 [shrieks] 566 00:21:16,090 --> 00:21:17,820 [gasps] 567 00:21:18,020 --> 00:21:18,720 I need a minute. 568 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:19,970 [shrieks] 569 00:21:22,010 --> 00:21:23,800 [Hank, thinking] I've never been that excited 570 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,780 about anything in my entire life. 571 00:21:26,810 --> 00:21:28,700 Yay, Gracie. 572 00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:30,200 That includes my wedding, 573 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:31,840 the birth of my child, 574 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,890 and my first orgasm. 575 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,410 Is that for real? 576 00:21:37,610 --> 00:21:38,830 Can you imagine that in bed? 577 00:21:40,190 --> 00:21:42,810 [Hank] I'm canceling my subscription to The Atlantic . 578 00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,300 [Rourke] Yeah. 579 00:21:46,570 --> 00:21:47,420 [Gracie screaming] 580 00:21:47,620 --> 00:21:48,390 [Hank, thinking] A billion dollars 581 00:21:48,590 --> 00:21:49,650 could fall on top of me, 582 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:52,160 and, you know, toss in world peace, 583 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:54,340 and my reaction would be, "Good." 584 00:21:59,580 --> 00:22:00,730 Gracie! 585 00:22:00,930 --> 00:22:02,430 Gracie! Gracie! 586 00:22:02,630 --> 00:22:03,940 There's either something wrong with her, 587 00:22:04,140 --> 00:22:05,670 or me, 588 00:22:05,870 --> 00:22:08,540 or, with overwhelming odds, 589 00:22:08,740 --> 00:22:10,530 humanity in general. 590 00:22:12,390 --> 00:22:13,930 [whispers] I did it, Daddy. 591 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:16,700 Yes! 592 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:18,670 [screams] 593 00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:24,920 [phone buzzes] 594 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,880 [indistinct party conversation continues] 595 00:22:34,250 --> 00:22:35,530 ...I mean, I had, like, 596 00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:37,540 one and a half tequila sunrises by then. 597 00:22:37,740 --> 00:22:39,220 I wasn't in the best position to... 598 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:43,740 [Hank, reading] "Hey, Ash told me 599 00:22:43,940 --> 00:22:46,210 she said that I'm 'jizzing' for you. 600 00:22:46,410 --> 00:22:47,980 You're married. I get it. 601 00:22:48,180 --> 00:22:49,880 I'm sorry a thousand times again 602 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:51,580 for you know what. 603 00:22:51,780 --> 00:22:53,750 Please know that, as you make this decision, 604 00:22:53,950 --> 00:22:54,950 don't think that 605 00:22:55,150 --> 00:22:58,060 I'm going to just be making constant passes at you. 606 00:22:58,260 --> 00:23:00,310 This is just the job, I swear." 607 00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:13,720 Check your texts. 608 00:23:21,060 --> 00:23:22,810 Okay. This is silly. 609 00:23:23,010 --> 00:23:23,920 I mean, it's not-- 610 00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:24,820 It's something that I need to tell you, 611 00:23:25,020 --> 00:23:25,850 but it's nothing. 612 00:23:26,050 --> 00:23:28,320 It's like-- It's less than nothing. 613 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:29,620 I'm listening. 614 00:23:29,820 --> 00:23:31,820 Okay. So in New York, Tom-- You know, he tried to kiss me. 615 00:23:32,020 --> 00:23:35,160 Or, I mean, he did kiss me. 616 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,500 I pushed him away. I got really mad at him. 617 00:23:37,700 --> 00:23:40,470 He said that he was joking, which I'm sure that he was. 618 00:23:40,670 --> 00:23:42,420 I just don't know where his head was fully. 619 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,540 That does sound like nothing, 620 00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:48,470 so let's just forget about it. 621 00:23:48,670 --> 00:23:51,310 Okay. Thank you. 622 00:23:51,510 --> 00:23:53,700 I'm sorry that I didn't tell you when I got home. 623 00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:57,820 [cell phone timer ringing] 624 00:23:58,020 --> 00:23:58,970 The stew's ready. 625 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:08,810 [indistinct party conversation continues] 626 00:24:09,810 --> 00:24:10,960 It's certainly understood 627 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:12,060 that the first poem in The Atlantic 628 00:24:12,260 --> 00:24:13,000 is nothing more than an amuse-bouche, 629 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:14,570 but to be offered page 72, 630 00:24:14,770 --> 00:24:15,970 an early part of the magazine, 631 00:24:16,170 --> 00:24:17,130 I was thrilled already, 632 00:24:17,330 --> 00:24:18,200 but when I found out that I was the second poem-- 633 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,070 - Stew? - ...or anything after 60... 634 00:24:20,270 --> 00:24:22,310 page 14, page 97... 635 00:24:22,510 --> 00:24:24,480 that's where Billy Preston was-- 636 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,880 [Rourke] This can't happen. She should have her own place. 637 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,910 She's my mother. 638 00:24:29,110 --> 00:24:30,350 - [Joanie] Why not? - You can't do that with mothers. 639 00:24:30,550 --> 00:24:31,350 - Stew? - [Rourke] Yes. 640 00:24:31,550 --> 00:24:32,980 She can't switch houses. 641 00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:33,990 House, house, house. 642 00:24:34,190 --> 00:24:35,690 The woman can't stay with us. 643 00:24:35,890 --> 00:24:37,220 - Stew? - Is that plate for June? 644 00:24:37,420 --> 00:24:38,420 I can serve June. 645 00:24:38,620 --> 00:24:39,990 [Teddy] That's okay. 646 00:24:40,190 --> 00:24:41,830 [indistinct party conversation continues] 647 00:24:42,030 --> 00:24:43,430 - ..donkey-headed boys... - Stew? 648 00:24:43,630 --> 00:24:45,600 ...are a metaphor for child slavery. 649 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,570 [brays like a donkey] 650 00:24:47,770 --> 00:24:49,700 I broke your damn toilet, Spanky. 651 00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:51,520 Serve yourself. 652 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:08,040 [**] 653 00:25:10,170 --> 00:25:12,340 [Hank, thinking ] She loves me. It's just a job. 654 00:25:13,710 --> 00:25:16,210 She loves me. It's just a job. 655 00:25:17,580 --> 00:25:20,380 She loves me. It's just a job. 656 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:23,050 We can work it out. 657 00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:25,550 We will work it out. 658 00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:32,060 [**] 659 00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:40,300 Hey, Julie. 660 00:25:43,910 --> 00:25:46,320 Uh, yeah. Something is wrong. 661 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,010 It's Mom. 662 00:25:53,350 --> 00:25:54,320 [indistinct party conversation continues] 663 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:55,980 ...all covered in cheese. 664 00:25:57,620 --> 00:25:59,250 I mean, I would say I'm-- 665 00:26:04,460 --> 00:26:06,890 [indistinct party conversation continues] 666 00:26:09,630 --> 00:26:10,480 [chiming against glass] 667 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:11,450 Hey, everyone. 668 00:26:11,650 --> 00:26:13,620 Thank you for coming. 669 00:26:13,820 --> 00:26:15,020 Every year, 670 00:26:15,220 --> 00:26:18,190 the university gives us a small budget to get together, 671 00:26:18,390 --> 00:26:19,660 which is very kind of them. 672 00:26:19,860 --> 00:26:21,760 Or cruel, depending on the year. 673 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:23,090 [laughing] 674 00:26:23,290 --> 00:26:24,300 This year, it's kind, 675 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,000 because, um, 676 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,670 I get a chance to say in front of people 677 00:26:28,870 --> 00:26:31,340 how proud I am of my wife. 678 00:26:31,540 --> 00:26:34,210 Lily got an amazing job opportunity 679 00:26:34,410 --> 00:26:36,510 at a very respected school in New York. 680 00:26:36,710 --> 00:26:38,840 Many of you already know. 681 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:40,280 It's wonderful, 682 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,510 and I just wanted to, uh, show her my appreciation. 683 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:44,620 To Lily. 684 00:26:44,820 --> 00:26:45,720 - To Lily! - To Lily! 685 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:47,640 Thank you. I appreciate that. 686 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,390 It's something I'm very excited about, so. 687 00:26:50,590 --> 00:26:51,890 - As well you should be. - So, what about the house, then? 688 00:26:52,090 --> 00:26:52,890 It's an incredible-- 689 00:26:53,090 --> 00:26:54,990 [Billie] Wait a second. Wait a second. 690 00:26:55,190 --> 00:26:57,810 Like, she got the job, and he's going? 691 00:26:59,010 --> 00:27:00,130 Spanky's going to New York? 692 00:27:00,330 --> 00:27:01,230 [Hank] It's not your concern. 693 00:27:01,430 --> 00:27:05,540 Well, it does affect us quite a bit. 694 00:27:05,740 --> 00:27:06,700 - Does it? - How so? 695 00:27:06,900 --> 00:27:08,240 You know exactly how so, you twits. 696 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,180 Well, we haven't made a decision, 697 00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:12,880 so it's not going to affect you tonight. 698 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,650 [Gracie] Oh, come on, Hank. You have to go. 699 00:27:15,850 --> 00:27:19,350 A path has opened up for Lily. 700 00:27:19,550 --> 00:27:20,720 It's just... 701 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,320 It happened for a reason. 702 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:23,590 [Billie] How can they take it? 703 00:27:23,790 --> 00:27:25,220 Hank's qualified for nothing. 704 00:27:25,420 --> 00:27:27,060 What's he gonna do? 705 00:27:27,260 --> 00:27:28,490 Play sax in the subway? 706 00:27:28,690 --> 00:27:30,230 [laughing] 707 00:27:30,430 --> 00:27:31,230 Thank you, Billie. 708 00:27:31,430 --> 00:27:32,600 [Rourke] He's a writer. 709 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,830 He can go to one of those stupid coffee shops 710 00:27:35,030 --> 00:27:37,400 and be one of those cliches, you know. 711 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:38,540 He'd love that. 712 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:39,740 That sounds nice. 713 00:27:39,940 --> 00:27:40,740 Yeah, it does sound nice. 714 00:27:40,940 --> 00:27:41,770 No, actually. 715 00:27:41,970 --> 00:27:43,570 Well, the poem that I wrote, 716 00:27:43,780 --> 00:27:45,580 the one that's coming out in The Atlantic ? 717 00:27:45,780 --> 00:27:48,080 "The Seven Sisters of Tobias". 718 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,050 I wrote that in the city. 719 00:27:50,250 --> 00:27:52,180 I'm just-- I'm so stimulated there. 720 00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:54,250 You can take a walk on the High Line, 721 00:27:54,450 --> 00:27:56,750 or just stroll through the Village 722 00:27:56,950 --> 00:27:59,560 with the ghost of Allen Ginsberg. 723 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:00,610 Have you ever been to New York? 724 00:28:02,710 --> 00:28:05,200 Hank, if you were to leave in the middle of term, 725 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,430 would the Chair just go to the next person in rotation, 726 00:28:08,630 --> 00:28:10,130 or would we have to take a vote? 727 00:28:10,330 --> 00:28:12,390 - That's a great question. Yeah. - How would that work? 728 00:28:14,220 --> 00:28:16,310 How's everyone liking the stew tonight? 729 00:28:16,510 --> 00:28:18,140 I ground my own paprika. 730 00:28:18,340 --> 00:28:19,980 Oh, it's very good. Yeah, delicious. 731 00:28:20,180 --> 00:28:20,980 That's good. Yeah. 732 00:28:21,180 --> 00:28:22,060 It tastes the same. 733 00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:24,030 [door opening] 734 00:28:26,030 --> 00:28:26,820 Hi, everyone. 735 00:28:27,020 --> 00:28:28,550 - Hey. - Oh, hey. 736 00:28:28,750 --> 00:28:29,550 Hi, Julie. 737 00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,990 Um, can I talk to you? 738 00:28:32,190 --> 00:28:33,260 Now? Like, right now? 739 00:28:33,460 --> 00:28:34,630 Yeah. 740 00:28:34,830 --> 00:28:36,080 Okay. 741 00:28:41,620 --> 00:28:42,470 [door closes] 742 00:28:42,670 --> 00:28:43,470 - Do you want more? - Yes, please. 743 00:28:43,670 --> 00:28:45,140 Anybody want a refresher? 744 00:28:45,340 --> 00:28:46,840 - Yes. - Yeah. 745 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:48,140 [Hank] No. 746 00:28:48,340 --> 00:28:49,470 Okay, so, um, how are we-- 747 00:28:49,670 --> 00:28:50,740 how are we doing? 748 00:28:50,940 --> 00:28:52,930 How we doin', you know? How are we doing? 749 00:28:57,970 --> 00:28:59,100 [indistinct conversation] 750 00:29:00,470 --> 00:29:03,490 Uh, do you guys, like, after, do you talk about it? 751 00:29:03,690 --> 00:29:06,690 Like, what was touched and untouched? 752 00:29:06,890 --> 00:29:08,460 I would cool it down a bit. 753 00:29:08,660 --> 00:29:11,500 Teddy doesn't like desperate men for me. 754 00:29:11,700 --> 00:29:12,930 Jesus. Desperate? 755 00:29:13,130 --> 00:29:14,170 [Gracie] Hank. 756 00:29:14,370 --> 00:29:15,370 Hank? 757 00:29:15,570 --> 00:29:18,500 I think we need an answer to June's question. 758 00:29:18,700 --> 00:29:19,670 It's only fair. 759 00:29:19,870 --> 00:29:21,370 [sighs] 760 00:29:21,570 --> 00:29:22,960 Ask Emma. 761 00:29:25,830 --> 00:29:28,950 What? Why am I the only one who has read the bylaws? 762 00:29:29,150 --> 00:29:30,550 It's, like, three pages. 763 00:29:30,750 --> 00:29:32,880 No. You know what? I'm not telling you. 764 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,150 [June] Emma, please. We need to know. 765 00:29:35,350 --> 00:29:37,960 [Gracie] Emma, those are a very difficult three pages. 766 00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:39,290 It's very dry stuff. 767 00:29:39,490 --> 00:29:41,360 Oh, god. All right. Fine. 768 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,660 If the chair needs to leave his position 769 00:29:43,860 --> 00:29:45,560 due to force majeure, 770 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:48,830 the position goes into rotation and no vote is needed. 771 00:29:49,030 --> 00:29:51,000 - Force majeure? - Mm-hmm. 772 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:52,070 Oh. 773 00:29:52,270 --> 00:29:55,210 Since when is moving to New York an act of God? 774 00:29:55,410 --> 00:29:56,340 [Teddy] A job at the Arlyle School 775 00:29:56,540 --> 00:29:58,210 is an act of God. 776 00:29:58,410 --> 00:30:00,040 Do you know five of the 14 Whiffenpoofs went there? 777 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:01,330 That's a lot of Whiffenpoofs. 778 00:30:02,460 --> 00:30:04,150 * Whiffenpoofs... 779 00:30:04,350 --> 00:30:06,080 - * Whiffenpoo-- - * Whiffenpoo-- 780 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:07,520 * Whiffenpoofs... 781 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:08,550 You're all doing my note. 782 00:30:08,750 --> 00:30:10,150 [all harmonizing] 783 00:30:10,350 --> 00:30:12,360 Please stop doing this... 784 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,990 Please stop doing this. 785 00:30:15,190 --> 00:30:17,410 Where in New York do you think you'd want to live? 786 00:30:19,180 --> 00:30:22,030 Well, actually, I've thought about this. 787 00:30:22,230 --> 00:30:23,370 We love Brooklyn, 788 00:30:23,570 --> 00:30:25,600 particularly Greenpoint and Williamsburg. 789 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:27,070 - Oh, yes. - Right? 790 00:30:27,270 --> 00:30:28,340 Um, of course, 791 00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:30,070 my commute would be much better from the Upper West Side, 792 00:30:30,270 --> 00:30:33,080 but we'd probably never be able to afford that. 793 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,950 Well, you could if you... 794 00:30:36,150 --> 00:30:37,110 * ...Sell me your place! 795 00:30:37,310 --> 00:30:38,750 * You could sell me your place! * 796 00:30:38,950 --> 00:30:40,080 * Come on and sell me your place! * 797 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:41,450 I hate it when you get like this. 798 00:30:41,650 --> 00:30:42,550 Listen. 799 00:30:42,750 --> 00:30:43,450 Selling you this place 800 00:30:43,650 --> 00:30:45,420 would barely cover the downpayment 801 00:30:45,620 --> 00:30:46,590 on a place in New York. 802 00:30:46,790 --> 00:30:48,430 [Lily] They did mention a moving stipend, 803 00:30:48,630 --> 00:30:49,690 but you're right, Paul. 804 00:30:49,890 --> 00:30:50,760 We could use some extra money. 805 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,970 And, um, the good news is 806 00:30:54,170 --> 00:30:55,970 that we also own the plot right next to ours. 807 00:30:56,170 --> 00:30:57,230 Also not for sale. 808 00:30:57,430 --> 00:30:59,440 [Lily] I'd be very interested in an offer, Paul. 809 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:00,470 [Rourke] Is it a large plot? 810 00:31:00,670 --> 00:31:02,240 Is it larger than this one? 811 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,440 For God's sake. What is wrong with you? 812 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:06,390 Can you ever be happy with what is? 813 00:31:24,610 --> 00:31:25,730 She'll cool off. 814 00:31:25,930 --> 00:31:26,830 Hey, Hank. 815 00:31:27,030 --> 00:31:28,230 I'll give you 10% over market value. 816 00:31:28,430 --> 00:31:30,570 [Hank] It's not for sale any time soon. 817 00:31:30,770 --> 00:31:32,100 Well, I just had 818 00:31:32,300 --> 00:31:34,010 a very interesting conversation with our daughter, 819 00:31:34,210 --> 00:31:36,440 and she says that, um, she's coming with me. 820 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:37,910 [Gracie] Oh! 821 00:31:38,110 --> 00:31:40,140 She and her husband have flexible work situations. 822 00:31:40,340 --> 00:31:41,110 Oh, that's nice. 823 00:31:41,310 --> 00:31:42,510 And she mentioned that you, Hank, 824 00:31:42,710 --> 00:31:43,810 recently suggested 825 00:31:44,020 --> 00:31:45,980 that she move to a city with more opportunities. 826 00:31:46,180 --> 00:31:47,150 Oh, there you go. 827 00:31:47,350 --> 00:31:49,520 I guess we're going to need a bigger place. 828 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:52,860 [Rourke] Well, this sounds like good news all around. 829 00:31:53,060 --> 00:31:54,190 Win-win-win. 830 00:31:54,390 --> 00:31:55,630 No, no, no. 831 00:31:55,830 --> 00:31:56,960 Look. Look. 832 00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:58,760 We're not making a decision right here, 833 00:31:58,960 --> 00:31:59,830 not with this group. 834 00:32:00,030 --> 00:32:01,170 So let's go back 835 00:32:01,370 --> 00:32:03,670 to our usual awful, awkward conversation 836 00:32:03,870 --> 00:32:05,000 that we're all so good at. 837 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,000 [laughing] 838 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:07,040 All right? 839 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:08,590 Because nothing is happening. 840 00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:13,460 But something is happening. 841 00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:16,950 Well, nothing's happening right now. 842 00:32:17,150 --> 00:32:18,600 Julie just happened right now. 843 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,020 It appears that the situation is evolving in real time. 844 00:32:23,220 --> 00:32:24,060 Julie isn't going anywhere. 845 00:32:24,260 --> 00:32:25,470 That's not up to you, is it? 846 00:32:27,470 --> 00:32:28,990 I'm not going. 847 00:32:29,190 --> 00:32:30,140 I'm... 848 00:32:32,980 --> 00:32:36,030 ...going to stay here, 849 00:32:36,230 --> 00:32:38,370 even if you go. 850 00:32:38,570 --> 00:32:39,400 Okay? 851 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,790 So how's that for a decision made right now? 852 00:32:57,870 --> 00:33:00,890 Hank, you know what, I think I can taste the paprika. 853 00:33:01,090 --> 00:33:02,060 It's much fresher. 854 00:33:02,260 --> 00:33:04,400 - Yeah, it's a fresher taste. - Yeah. 855 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:05,600 Hits you more, yeah. 856 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,930 - Let's play a game. - Oh, yes! 857 00:33:08,130 --> 00:33:09,200 That's a great idea! 858 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,740 Do you remember how we used to all play Celebrity? 859 00:33:12,940 --> 00:33:14,070 I'll certainly never forget 860 00:33:14,270 --> 00:33:16,440 the time that Paul didn't know who Andrea Dworkin was. 861 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:17,910 [laughing] 862 00:33:18,110 --> 00:33:20,240 Lily, where do you keep the pencils and the paper? 863 00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,710 No. This game is called "Percentage Of Happiness". 864 00:33:22,910 --> 00:33:24,620 [Gracie] Oh! 865 00:33:24,820 --> 00:33:25,850 Goodness. 866 00:33:26,050 --> 00:33:27,720 I do not think that I know that game. 867 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,790 I think I played that game once. 868 00:33:29,990 --> 00:33:31,890 I was at a book reading with Johnny Franzen-- 869 00:33:32,090 --> 00:33:33,360 It's a really simple game. 870 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:35,960 So, how you play is you answer this question-- 871 00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,900 "What percentage of happiness am I?" 872 00:33:39,100 --> 00:33:39,960 [Gracie] Oh. 873 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:43,300 And, "What percentage of happiness is so low 874 00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:45,140 that you should be willing to make a change?" 875 00:33:45,340 --> 00:33:46,200 [Gracie] Oh. 876 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:47,540 We'll just go around the room. 877 00:33:47,740 --> 00:33:48,940 Gracie, do you want to kick us off? 878 00:33:49,140 --> 00:33:51,380 Oh. Um, yes. Okay. 879 00:33:51,580 --> 00:33:53,610 Um, well, um, 880 00:33:53,810 --> 00:33:55,310 as you know, I'm having a very good day, 881 00:33:55,510 --> 00:33:57,550 so I think I would, um-- 882 00:33:57,750 --> 00:34:03,290 Oh, I-- I would put myself at, um, oh... 883 00:34:03,490 --> 00:34:05,290 95% happiness! 884 00:34:05,490 --> 00:34:06,420 Wow. 885 00:34:06,620 --> 00:34:07,660 And when would I make a change? 886 00:34:07,860 --> 00:34:09,930 Um, oh, I don't know. 887 00:34:10,130 --> 00:34:10,930 Um-- 888 00:34:11,130 --> 00:34:11,930 Would you just-- 889 00:34:12,130 --> 00:34:13,060 60%! 890 00:34:13,260 --> 00:34:14,470 Yeah, 60%. 891 00:34:14,670 --> 00:34:15,330 60%. 892 00:34:15,530 --> 00:34:17,170 All right. I would, uh-- 893 00:34:17,370 --> 00:34:19,090 [Lily] That's very interesting. What about you, Hank? 894 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:21,310 Oh, wait. Actually, I already know 895 00:34:21,510 --> 00:34:22,770 the answer to the first question. 896 00:34:22,970 --> 00:34:24,910 You told me a while ago. 897 00:34:25,110 --> 00:34:26,180 I believe it was 20. 898 00:34:26,380 --> 00:34:28,810 You are 20% happy. 899 00:34:29,010 --> 00:34:30,810 Oh. 900 00:34:31,010 --> 00:34:33,150 That does sound pretty low, Spanky. 901 00:34:33,350 --> 00:34:36,250 - No, that's high for him. - That does sound like Hank. 902 00:34:36,450 --> 00:34:37,390 [Lily] So question number two-- 903 00:34:37,590 --> 00:34:40,160 what percentage would you have to drop down to 904 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:41,380 in order to make a change? 905 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:44,330 10? 906 00:34:44,530 --> 00:34:45,660 Or... 907 00:34:45,860 --> 00:34:47,050 zero? 908 00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:01,400 [**] 909 00:35:06,470 --> 00:35:08,270 [indistinct party conversation] 910 00:35:14,010 --> 00:35:15,980 A little wine, hey? 911 00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:18,550 Or no? 912 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:22,050 You know, guys. 913 00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:24,740 I've been thinking about it, 914 00:35:24,940 --> 00:35:26,470 and I think this just isn't me. 915 00:35:26,670 --> 00:35:28,410 For no real reason. 916 00:35:28,610 --> 00:35:30,570 It was fun imagining what might be, 917 00:35:30,770 --> 00:35:33,340 but I'm going to have to respectfully bow out. 918 00:35:33,540 --> 00:35:37,300 Oh. Are you sure? 919 00:35:39,300 --> 00:35:40,300 Oh, come on. 920 00:35:45,070 --> 00:35:49,180 [**] 921 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,600 Honey... 922 00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:00,000 sorry I brought Julie into this. 923 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:01,490 It was childish of me. 924 00:36:02,690 --> 00:36:03,740 I didn't handle it well. 925 00:36:03,940 --> 00:36:05,860 No, you didn't. 926 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,610 You take that great job, 927 00:36:10,810 --> 00:36:13,220 and I'll keep my shitty job. 928 00:36:13,420 --> 00:36:14,750 You come out here when you can, 929 00:36:14,950 --> 00:36:17,920 and I'll go into the city, 930 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:19,370 make it work. 931 00:36:24,780 --> 00:36:29,550 [**] 932 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:35,120 "Marriage is sweeter, sweeter than you think, think." 933 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,210 - [Gracie] Anne Waldman. - [Finny] Indeed. 934 00:36:39,410 --> 00:36:40,480 - "Stereo". - Mm-hmm. 935 00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:42,230 Very nice. 936 00:36:43,130 --> 00:36:44,780 You know, there was a period of time 937 00:36:44,980 --> 00:36:46,950 where Teddy and I were long distance, 938 00:36:47,150 --> 00:36:48,120 and it actually strengthened our marriage. 939 00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:49,150 Yeah. 940 00:36:49,350 --> 00:36:50,570 That's nice to hear. 941 00:36:51,810 --> 00:36:53,220 We developed a different foundation 942 00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:56,160 for our own unique relationship, 943 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,810 and it made us closer than before. 944 00:36:59,780 --> 00:37:00,930 [Teddy] Best decision we ever made. 945 00:37:01,130 --> 00:37:02,130 [June] Best decision. 946 00:37:02,330 --> 00:37:04,400 I mean, there are days I want to punch him in the face. 947 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:05,400 Don't get me wrong. 948 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:06,600 [laughing] 949 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:08,170 When I go on about my research. 950 00:37:08,370 --> 00:37:09,970 Funny story. 951 00:37:10,170 --> 00:37:11,310 You want to hear a story? 952 00:37:11,510 --> 00:37:12,780 I have the best 953 00:37:12,980 --> 00:37:15,310 long-distance relationship story ever. 954 00:37:15,510 --> 00:37:16,350 And don't worry. 955 00:37:16,550 --> 00:37:17,410 It's not about me wanting your house. 956 00:37:17,610 --> 00:37:19,020 [laughing] 957 00:37:19,220 --> 00:37:22,350 I've mentioned my first wife, Barbara, right? 958 00:37:22,550 --> 00:37:24,090 Uh, God rest her soul. 959 00:37:24,290 --> 00:37:26,820 Well, she and I met in college, 960 00:37:27,020 --> 00:37:28,460 freshman year, 961 00:37:28,660 --> 00:37:32,260 and it was just supposed to be one of those hook-ups. 962 00:37:32,460 --> 00:37:34,110 Damn, she was fine. 963 00:37:36,620 --> 00:37:38,340 Yeah. We went to her room that first night, 964 00:37:38,540 --> 00:37:40,600 and guess what? 965 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,170 I never left. 966 00:37:43,370 --> 00:37:48,380 I, uh, spent my freshman year sharing a single bed with her. 967 00:37:48,580 --> 00:37:50,110 She was the one who introduced me to poetry. 968 00:37:50,310 --> 00:37:51,520 Oh. 969 00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:54,700 We would, uh, recite Blake to each other. 970 00:37:56,500 --> 00:38:00,660 We never spent one night apart for all four years of college, 971 00:38:00,860 --> 00:38:02,640 and we got married right after. 972 00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:05,810 Had a destination wedding like a couple of jerks. 973 00:38:06,980 --> 00:38:08,280 Tuscany, for God's sakes. 974 00:38:10,050 --> 00:38:13,990 Well, we didn't get into the same Ph.D. program, though. 975 00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:16,740 The closest we could get to each other 976 00:38:16,940 --> 00:38:20,240 was a 12-hour drive. 977 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,400 I went to Chapel Hill and she went to Chicago. 978 00:38:23,660 --> 00:38:27,720 And I just remember missing her so much 979 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:31,170 that I decided to go visit her that first weekend. 980 00:38:32,970 --> 00:38:34,220 I didn't have a car, 981 00:38:34,430 --> 00:38:36,530 so I decided to put up some flyers 982 00:38:36,730 --> 00:38:37,590 to get a ride, 983 00:38:37,790 --> 00:38:38,900 and I got one from this woman 984 00:38:39,100 --> 00:38:42,400 who was visiting this guy down there, 985 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:48,000 and we talk in the car... 986 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:51,440 and it is... 987 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:56,830 the most interesting, brilliant ride of my life. 988 00:38:59,270 --> 00:39:00,770 Everything she says. 989 00:39:01,900 --> 00:39:05,590 She made the trip feel like a hot-air balloon ride. 990 00:39:05,790 --> 00:39:08,510 [Gracie] Ooh. 991 00:39:11,710 --> 00:39:15,870 I thought I knew what love was, 992 00:39:16,070 --> 00:39:17,700 but I was just learning. 993 00:39:17,900 --> 00:39:20,570 I thought I had found my person, 994 00:39:20,770 --> 00:39:22,860 but I was fooling myself. 995 00:39:25,690 --> 00:39:28,040 She dropped me off at Barbara's. 996 00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:28,950 I took one look at her, 997 00:39:29,150 --> 00:39:31,250 and I... 998 00:39:31,450 --> 00:39:32,730 I asked for a divorce. 999 00:39:34,870 --> 00:39:40,320 Now that I knew what love really felt like... 1000 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,210 I had to. 1001 00:39:44,650 --> 00:39:46,460 I went back outside. 1002 00:39:46,660 --> 00:39:50,400 I didn't know how I was going to find her, 1003 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:54,760 but guess who was still there in the car, waiting. 1004 00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:03,180 - Yes! - Come on. 1005 00:40:03,380 --> 00:40:05,750 We've been together ever since. 1006 00:40:05,950 --> 00:40:07,820 Yes. 1007 00:40:08,020 --> 00:40:09,270 Quite a story. 1008 00:40:10,970 --> 00:40:12,070 That's a divorce story. 1009 00:40:14,170 --> 00:40:15,360 [Billie] You should go with her, Spanky. 1010 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:17,330 Before she finds her Joanie. 1011 00:40:17,530 --> 00:40:19,780 I already found my Joanie. 1012 00:40:21,580 --> 00:40:23,020 You never really know about people. 1013 00:40:24,490 --> 00:40:25,500 No. 1014 00:40:25,700 --> 00:40:27,300 I know my wife. 1015 00:40:27,500 --> 00:40:28,710 I know Lily. 1016 00:40:28,910 --> 00:40:30,010 We don't have secrets. 1017 00:40:30,210 --> 00:40:33,090 We tell each other everything right away. 1018 00:40:35,430 --> 00:40:36,810 That's right. We do. 1019 00:40:37,010 --> 00:40:38,630 Where does Tom live again? 1020 00:40:39,770 --> 00:40:41,450 Mm. 1021 00:40:41,650 --> 00:40:42,700 I think he lives in Greenpoint. 1022 00:40:43,770 --> 00:40:45,120 Who's Tom? 1023 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,360 Uh, he's Lily's old boyfriend. 1024 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:49,390 Oh. 1025 00:40:49,590 --> 00:40:51,030 Mm-hmm. 1026 00:40:51,230 --> 00:40:52,360 [Emma] Since we're talking about this again, 1027 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:54,470 I actually have a friend who lives in the East Village 1028 00:40:54,670 --> 00:40:56,170 who might be looking for a roommate. 1029 00:40:56,370 --> 00:40:57,170 She's super cool. 1030 00:40:57,370 --> 00:40:58,170 She's an adjunct at NYU. 1031 00:40:58,370 --> 00:40:59,470 That sounds really interesting. 1032 00:40:59,670 --> 00:41:00,670 I'd like to talk to her. 1033 00:41:00,870 --> 00:41:01,540 Okay. 1034 00:41:01,740 --> 00:41:02,720 Or you could just live with Tom. 1035 00:41:03,720 --> 00:41:05,680 I don't want to live with Tom. 1036 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,410 Well, it's just an idea. 1037 00:41:07,610 --> 00:41:08,800 Just a suggestion. 1038 00:41:11,700 --> 00:41:13,080 Where is the school exactly? 1039 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:14,650 - It's in the west 40s. - Oh. 1040 00:41:14,850 --> 00:41:16,890 Do you have any old boyfriends there? 1041 00:41:17,090 --> 00:41:18,760 Okay. Let's go. 1042 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:20,660 - Let's go into the kitchen. - [Hank] My kitchen? 1043 00:41:20,860 --> 00:41:22,760 How is Tom's wife, by the way? 1044 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,260 [Lily] They're separated, actually. 1045 00:41:24,460 --> 00:41:25,400 [Hank] Oh! Really? 1046 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:26,810 Come with me. Right now. 1047 00:41:28,850 --> 00:41:29,980 You know, I'm not going. 1048 00:41:32,690 --> 00:41:33,870 No one's keeping you here, Hank, 1049 00:41:34,070 --> 00:41:35,370 so why don't you go ahead and-- 1050 00:41:35,570 --> 00:41:36,770 Hank. 1051 00:41:36,970 --> 00:41:38,270 Go. Support your wife. 1052 00:41:38,470 --> 00:41:40,240 Are you going to vote me out? 1053 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:42,380 That worked real well last time you tried. 1054 00:41:42,580 --> 00:41:44,350 Easy, Spanky. 1055 00:41:44,550 --> 00:41:46,950 [Hank] Easy? If I go, he's next on the rotation. 1056 00:41:47,150 --> 00:41:49,290 So who are they going to get rid of? 1057 00:41:49,490 --> 00:41:50,890 [Rourke] Hey. Nobody's getting rid of anybody. 1058 00:41:51,090 --> 00:41:51,890 [Hank] Yeah. 1059 00:41:52,090 --> 00:41:53,220 Dickie Pope will have his redundancy, 1060 00:41:53,420 --> 00:41:54,260 so who's it going to be? 1061 00:41:54,460 --> 00:41:57,090 Gun to your head, pick one right now! 1062 00:41:57,290 --> 00:41:58,230 I'm not playing this game. 1063 00:41:58,430 --> 00:42:00,900 The game of having two poetry professors? 1064 00:42:01,100 --> 00:42:01,870 I was just published! 1065 00:42:02,070 --> 00:42:03,270 This is not the place for this. 1066 00:42:03,470 --> 00:42:04,470 Maybe we should just change topics. 1067 00:42:04,670 --> 00:42:06,100 June is very wise. 1068 00:42:06,300 --> 00:42:08,350 Why aren't you coming with me? 1069 00:42:10,420 --> 00:42:11,310 My life is here! 1070 00:42:11,510 --> 00:42:12,730 [Lily] Your life could move. 1071 00:42:14,730 --> 00:42:15,610 My mom is here. 1072 00:42:15,810 --> 00:42:17,210 You aren't talking to her. 1073 00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:18,210 Julie is here. 1074 00:42:18,410 --> 00:42:19,220 Julie is a grown woman that-- 1075 00:42:19,420 --> 00:42:20,780 I am here! 1076 00:42:20,980 --> 00:42:21,750 Okay? 1077 00:42:21,950 --> 00:42:23,390 I've stayed. I'm here. 1078 00:42:23,590 --> 00:42:25,160 Look. You might not be coming with me, 1079 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:26,240 but you are not here either. 1080 00:42:28,110 --> 00:42:29,590 [grandfather clock chiming] 1081 00:42:29,790 --> 00:42:31,630 Why do you want to leave me so badly? 1082 00:42:31,830 --> 00:42:33,330 How hard is it for you to understand 1083 00:42:33,530 --> 00:42:35,630 that this is not about you? 1084 00:42:35,830 --> 00:42:38,970 [Hank] Leaving me isn't about me? 1085 00:42:39,170 --> 00:42:40,000 [chiming] 1086 00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:41,840 Going to New York for a job? 1087 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,010 [chiming] 1088 00:42:44,210 --> 00:42:45,510 It isn't about me? 1089 00:42:45,710 --> 00:42:47,890 [chiming] 1090 00:42:51,830 --> 00:42:54,170 [chiming] 1091 00:42:55,170 --> 00:42:56,420 [Hank, in past] It doesn't matter. 1092 00:42:56,620 --> 00:42:57,820 [Laurel, in past] What do you mean it doesn't matter? 1093 00:42:58,020 --> 00:43:00,290 Tell me? What is it? What can we do to make you stay? 1094 00:43:00,490 --> 00:43:02,930 [Hank, in past] Nothing. Nothing at all. 1095 00:43:03,130 --> 00:43:05,200 [ "You Won't Be Satisfied" by Ella Fitzgerald playing] 1096 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,800 [**] 1097 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,870 * Oh, you won't be satisfied 1098 00:43:11,070 --> 00:43:14,710 * Until you break my heart 1099 00:43:14,910 --> 00:43:16,810 * You're never satisfied 1100 00:43:17,010 --> 00:43:20,640 * Until the teardrops start 1101 00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:26,150 * I tried to shower you with love and kisses * 1102 00:43:26,350 --> 00:43:32,790 * Oh, you won't be satisfied until you break my heart * 1103 00:43:32,990 --> 00:43:39,800 * No, you won't be satisfied until you break my heart * 1104 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:44,030 * You're never satisfied until the teardrops start... * 1105 00:43:44,230 --> 00:43:45,400 [Young Hank gasping] 1106 00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:49,810 * I tried to shower you with love and kisses, baby * 1107 00:43:50,010 --> 00:43:51,840 [**] 1108 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:52,740 * All I ever get from you... 1109 00:43:52,940 --> 00:43:54,080 Laurel! 1110 00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:55,550 * ...Is naggin' and braggin' 1111 00:43:55,750 --> 00:43:57,960 - * My poor heart is saggin'... - Just go. Just go. 1112 00:43:59,130 --> 00:44:00,130 Come on, man. 1113 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:03,800 [Hank] I'm fine. I'm fine. 1114 00:44:04,970 --> 00:44:07,890 * I'll bet you wouldn't like it if I did the same... * 1115 00:44:08,090 --> 00:44:09,060 Lily made cookies. 1116 00:44:09,260 --> 00:44:10,230 Oh, God! 1117 00:44:10,430 --> 00:44:15,500 * You're only happy tearin' all my dreams apart... * 1118 00:44:15,700 --> 00:44:17,000 Celebrity, right? Celebrity. 1119 00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:18,020 Celebrity. 1120 00:44:20,750 --> 00:44:22,510 Peter Fonda! 1121 00:44:22,710 --> 00:44:23,760 It's just a wild guess. 1122 00:44:27,060 --> 00:44:28,700 Easy Rider ? 1123 00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:30,710 Who wants to drive me home? 1124 00:44:30,910 --> 00:44:31,870 - I'll drive you home. - Okay. 1125 00:44:32,700 --> 00:44:34,920 Good night. 1126 00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:36,040 Thank you. 1127 00:44:40,770 --> 00:44:42,440 - Good night. - Good night. 1128 00:44:47,180 --> 00:44:51,450 [**] 1129 00:44:54,590 --> 00:44:56,060 Teddy. 1130 00:44:59,430 --> 00:45:01,440 He'll be back to how he always is tomorrow. 1131 00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:02,960 Okay? Tomorrow. 1132 00:45:04,870 --> 00:45:05,720 Thanks, Lily. 1133 00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,950 * The way you toss my heart around's * 1134 00:45:09,150 --> 00:45:11,590 * A cryin' shame 1135 00:45:11,790 --> 00:45:12,790 * Oh, yes... 1136 00:45:12,990 --> 00:45:17,630 * I'll bet you wouldn't like it if I did the same * 1137 00:45:17,830 --> 00:45:23,670 * You're only tearin' all my little dreams apart * 1138 00:45:23,870 --> 00:45:29,720 * Oh, you won't be satisfied until you break my heart * 1139 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:44,990 [Hank] Something else 1140 00:45:45,190 --> 00:45:47,020 about that night my father walked away. 1141 00:45:47,220 --> 00:45:49,410 He called out for my mom. 1142 00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:52,660 "Laurel! Office!" 1143 00:45:52,860 --> 00:45:54,430 And she came in. 1144 00:45:54,630 --> 00:45:57,000 And she knelt down beside me, 1145 00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:58,870 she took the rope from around my neck, 1146 00:45:59,070 --> 00:45:59,940 and she hugged me, 1147 00:46:00,140 --> 00:46:01,040 and then she said, 1148 00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:04,260 "We won't ever talk about this again." 1149 00:46:10,530 --> 00:46:13,270 And I doubt I ever will. 1150 00:46:19,540 --> 00:46:20,690 [ "The Whippoorwill" by Keely Smith playing] 1151 00:46:20,890 --> 00:46:23,330 - * The night was young... - [Lily] Let's go to bed. 1152 00:46:23,530 --> 00:46:27,360 * ...And so were we 1153 00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:35,220 * The whippoorwill sang sweet and low * 1154 00:46:45,030 --> 00:46:46,580 Why haven't you answered my calls? 1155 00:46:46,780 --> 00:46:48,890 Because my caller I.D. works. 1156 00:46:49,090 --> 00:46:51,990 I've been invited to a conference in Harrisburg. 1157 00:46:52,190 --> 00:46:53,360 Russell and I had a fight, so I'm gonna 1158 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:54,930 take you up on that offer. What offer? 1159 00:46:55,130 --> 00:46:56,260 I'm gonna come stay with you in New York. 1160 00:46:56,460 --> 00:46:57,990 Man: Do you write with a pen or a scalpel? 1161 00:46:58,190 --> 00:47:02,070 I'm just trying to slurp the marrow from the present moment. 1162 00:47:02,270 --> 00:47:05,340 You hurt your father. Come by and ask him to stay. 1163 00:47:05,540 --> 00:47:08,100 * 1164 00:47:08,300 --> 00:47:10,570 I'm afraid I'm gonna do something stupid. 1165 00:47:10,770 --> 00:47:13,490 * 1166 00:47:16,330 --> 00:47:21,000 [**] 79404

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