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1
00:00:01,703 --> 00:00:04,736
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,373
There you go.
3
00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:09,024
Cheers.
4
00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:11,377
Oh, yeah, hi, Vera.
5
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,445
Uh, let me see if he's here yet.
6
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,683
Oh, yeah, he just walked in.
7
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:18,862
Yeah, here he is right now.
8
00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,519
All right, bye.
9
00:00:20,555 --> 00:00:22,087
Yeah, yeah, it's for you.
10
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:23,266
Hi, honey.
11
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,991
Yeah.
12
00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:26,359
I, I have no idea.
13
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:27,537
I mean, uh...
14
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,673
did you try that broom closet?
15
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,364
Well, how about the pantry?
16
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:34,333
Well, that would be a
good place to look, okay?
17
00:00:34,369 --> 00:00:35,501
All right.
18
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,736
Okay, let me know, thanks.
19
00:00:36,771 --> 00:00:38,971
Oh, here.
20
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,417
Well, what's Mrs.
Peterson doing?
21
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:42,722
I don't know, she's looking
for the fire extinguisher.
22
00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:47,996
Was there a fire in your house?
23
00:00:48,032 --> 00:00:49,298
I have no idea.
24
00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:51,100
Should I have asked?
25
00:00:58,108 --> 00:01:01,227
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
26
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,762
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
27
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:06,198
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
28
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:09,535
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
29
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:13,004
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
30
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,360
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
31
00:01:18,396 --> 00:01:22,698
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
32
00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:26,969
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
33
00:01:27,005 --> 00:01:30,239
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
34
00:01:30,274 --> 00:01:33,743
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
35
00:01:33,778 --> 00:01:36,846
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
36
00:01:36,881 --> 00:01:40,315
♪ You want to go
where people know ♪
37
00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:43,553
♪ People are all the same ♪
38
00:01:43,588 --> 00:01:47,823
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
39
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:14,099
Attention, everyone, attention!
40
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:16,335
I'm getting rid
of that television.
41
00:02:18,072 --> 00:02:20,105
And I am replacing
it this weekend
42
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,874
with a new 27-inch screen TV
43
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:24,910
with a direct hookup to
the Cable Sports Channel.
44
00:02:24,946 --> 00:02:26,011
Thank you.
45
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,548
Kind of a jerky thing to do,
46
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,116
but I liked it.
47
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,863
That means we'll be able
48
00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:35,087
to watch that world
welterweight championship bout
49
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:36,706
between Hector "The
Hammer" Rodriguez
50
00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:38,173
and Julio "The
Hacker" Rodriguez.
51
00:02:38,209 --> 00:02:39,007
Who do you think's gonna win?
52
00:02:39,043 --> 00:02:40,693
My money's on Rodriguez.
53
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:42,829
Julio "The Hacker" Rodriguez
54
00:02:42,864 --> 00:02:43,996
has got a glass jaw.
55
00:02:44,032 --> 00:02:46,331
My uncle Fergie had a glass eye.
56
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:49,301
He used to take it
out and scare the cat.
57
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,840
This is Cheers, Dorothy.
58
00:02:54,876 --> 00:02:57,609
Isn't it amusing?
59
00:02:57,645 --> 00:02:59,926
Frasier, would you be a
dear and get us some drinks?
60
00:03:04,152 --> 00:03:05,284
Sam, can I have
61
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:06,479
three martinis please?
62
00:03:06,503 --> 00:03:07,547
Make mine a double.
63
00:03:07,571 --> 00:03:08,748
How's married life treating ya?
64
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:09,838
Quite a change, huh?
65
00:03:09,873 --> 00:03:11,218
Well, you know, Lilith and I
66
00:03:11,242 --> 00:03:13,387
did live together for
a year before we wed.
67
00:03:13,411 --> 00:03:15,522
So other than the
fact that I now see it
68
00:03:15,546 --> 00:03:17,190
stretching endlessly before me,
69
00:03:17,214 --> 00:03:18,992
until I lie rotting
in the grave,
70
00:03:19,016 --> 00:03:20,482
there's no real difference.
71
00:03:20,517 --> 00:03:22,634
Now, Lilith, if
you, your family,
72
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:25,504
and generations of
your ancestors had lived
73
00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:28,340
with the boot of
oppression on your throat,
74
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,660
would cutting out a man's
heart seem that extreme?
75
00:03:31,696 --> 00:03:35,230
So who's the party girl?
76
00:03:35,265 --> 00:03:36,510
Dorothy Greenberg.
77
00:03:36,534 --> 00:03:39,668
She's an old childhood
chum of Lilith's from New York.
78
00:03:39,704 --> 00:03:41,582
She's been visiting for a week.
79
00:03:41,606 --> 00:03:42,850
She's a professional student.
80
00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:44,685
She's writing her dissertation
81
00:03:44,709 --> 00:03:48,121
on the Comuneros' uprising
in Paraguay during the 1700s.
82
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,256
She can't talk
about anything else.
83
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:53,193
Believe me, when you've
heard one Bruno de Zavala joke,
84
00:03:53,217 --> 00:03:54,497
you've heard them all.
85
00:03:58,489 --> 00:03:59,822
Sam, I got to
86
00:03:59,857 --> 00:04:01,824
get this over with.
87
00:04:01,859 --> 00:04:04,026
Listen, there's
something I got to ask you,
88
00:04:04,061 --> 00:04:06,261
and I don't want you
to take it the wrong way.
89
00:04:06,296 --> 00:04:07,262
What is it?
90
00:04:07,297 --> 00:04:09,782
Would you come to
dinner at my house tonight?
91
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,862
Hey, I thought we were friends.
92
00:04:11,886 --> 00:04:13,018
Well, it's just that
93
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:15,053
Eddie wants us to
practice our social skills
94
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,988
so he can invite his
boss over to dinner.
95
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,268
Can't you ask somebody else?
96
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,436
Please? Come on.
97
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:20,737
I'm sure any one of the guys
98
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,294
would love to go.
99
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:23,995
Guys, am I...
100
00:04:26,384 --> 00:04:29,151
So, uh... I'll
expect you at 7:00?
101
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,506
Yeah, all right. All right.
102
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,241
Where'd you guys go?
103
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,554
Go? Huh?
104
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:40,145
We were right here
all the time, Sammy.
105
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,847
By the way, uh,
106
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,061
thanks for hogging
that invitation
107
00:04:44,085 --> 00:04:46,330
to Carla's house
all for yourself.
108
00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:48,874
There's room for one more.
109
00:04:55,178 --> 00:04:57,362
Sam, you sit here.
110
00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,165
Thank you.
111
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,933
What is this, Sammy... no date?
112
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,612
Uh, your mom didn't
want me to bring one.
113
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,602
I always like
114
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,703
to be the prettiest woman
115
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:05,783
in my house.
116
00:05:05,807 --> 00:05:07,539
And you always will be, baby.
117
00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:09,724
You're no magazine
cover yourself.
118
00:05:14,265 --> 00:05:15,964
Now.
119
00:05:24,409 --> 00:05:27,209
Oh, these look great.
120
00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:28,411
Mm-hmm.
121
00:05:45,062 --> 00:05:46,106
You know, Carla,
122
00:05:46,130 --> 00:05:47,797
it's, uh, nice to see you
123
00:05:47,832 --> 00:05:50,098
surrounded by
such a loving family.
124
00:05:50,134 --> 00:05:53,135
Oh, it's eerie, Sam. Mmm.
125
00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:54,236
I got a husband
126
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:55,571
who does windows.
127
00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:57,740
And all the kids
are out of jail.
128
00:05:59,944 --> 00:06:01,944
For the first time in my life,
129
00:06:01,979 --> 00:06:03,813
when morning comes around,
130
00:06:03,848 --> 00:06:06,882
I want to open up my
eyes instead of my wrists.
131
00:06:06,918 --> 00:06:08,818
That's beautiful, honey.
132
00:06:10,822 --> 00:06:12,020
Uh, and who knows, Ma?
133
00:06:12,056 --> 00:06:14,056
Someday... well,
you can look forward
134
00:06:14,091 --> 00:06:15,491
to having grandkids.
135
00:06:15,526 --> 00:06:17,671
Carla, a grandmother?
136
00:06:17,695 --> 00:06:19,294
You've got to be kidding.
137
00:06:19,330 --> 00:06:21,396
No, no.
138
00:06:21,432 --> 00:06:22,898
Sammy, it's true.
139
00:06:22,934 --> 00:06:25,412
I think I'd like to be a
grandmother someday.
140
00:06:25,436 --> 00:06:26,535
I mean, get all the fun,
141
00:06:26,571 --> 00:06:27,837
none of the responsibility.
142
00:06:27,872 --> 00:06:29,939
Just seeing the little
brats when I want to.
143
00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:31,740
I think you're
gonna be surprised
144
00:06:31,776 --> 00:06:33,909
what a sweet little
old granny I'll be.
145
00:06:33,945 --> 00:06:36,411
That's great, 'cause I
knocked up Annie good.
146
00:06:36,447 --> 00:06:37,447
What!?
147
00:06:39,183 --> 00:06:40,215
Hey, hey, hey!
148
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:42,351
Oh! Oh! Carla!
149
00:06:42,386 --> 00:06:45,020
Carla! Carla!
150
00:06:45,055 --> 00:06:47,089
What are you thinking of?!
151
00:06:47,124 --> 00:06:49,091
I just waxed that table.
152
00:06:49,126 --> 00:06:50,971
Come here, come
here. Come on, come on.
153
00:06:50,995 --> 00:06:52,628
Get off. Come on.
154
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,463
Come here, come here.
155
00:07:00,571 --> 00:07:02,304
And besides...
156
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,039
this is family business.
157
00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,808
Let's, um...
158
00:07:06,811 --> 00:07:08,944
Let's talk about
this later, okay?
159
00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:28,563
So what kind of car
do you drive, Ed?
160
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:31,734
I thought you said
161
00:07:31,769 --> 00:07:33,468
you wanted to be a grandmother.
162
00:07:33,503 --> 00:07:34,764
Someday.
163
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:35,949
Like years from now,
164
00:07:35,973 --> 00:07:38,473
when you've moved
thousands of miles away.
165
00:07:38,509 --> 00:07:40,242
Carla, please.
166
00:07:44,549 --> 00:07:46,982
I drive a Corvette myself.
167
00:07:48,185 --> 00:07:49,652
How could you do this?!
168
00:07:49,687 --> 00:07:52,555
Hey, I'm going to
be 20 in two years.
169
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:55,668
I can hear my
biological clock ticking.
170
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:58,494
Do you know what it
takes to raise a kid?
171
00:07:58,529 --> 00:08:00,362
Ma, will you relax? I got a job.
172
00:08:00,398 --> 00:08:01,941
You think you can
support a family
173
00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:03,076
pushing cheeseburgers?!
174
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,700
Well, I thought
we'd all stay here.
175
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,034
Ho-ho, great.
176
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:07,881
More people in this house.
177
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:11,545
I get about 19 on the
highway, 15 in town.
178
00:08:12,042 --> 00:08:15,677
Whose stupid idea
was this anyway?
179
00:08:15,713 --> 00:08:18,313
Hey, I was getting bored
sitting around the house.
180
00:08:18,348 --> 00:08:20,749
I thought this might
give her something to do.
181
00:08:20,785 --> 00:08:21,750
I'll give you
182
00:08:21,786 --> 00:08:22,951
something to do!
183
00:08:23,987 --> 00:08:25,532
Oh! EDDIE: No, no.
184
00:08:25,556 --> 00:08:27,489
Carla, Carla, Carla!
185
00:08:27,525 --> 00:08:30,125
Come on.
186
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,405
Well...
187
00:08:31,429 --> 00:08:33,862
if this is the way that we
are going to be treated
188
00:08:33,898 --> 00:08:35,809
on the happiest day
of our young lives,
189
00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:38,233
then I don't want to live
in this house anymore!
190
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,637
Anthony!
191
00:08:41,672 --> 00:08:43,316
You should probably
come with me.
192
00:08:43,340 --> 00:08:46,592
But we haven't eaten yet.
193
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,338
Your hair is full
of bread crumbs.
194
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,795
We could butter your
head and make a sandwich.
195
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,999
I had a sandwich for lunch!
196
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,268
Oh, go on. Go, go!
197
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:57,269
Get out of here!
198
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:58,632
Let's see how long
you last on your own!
199
00:08:58,656 --> 00:09:00,305
I give you three days!
200
00:09:00,341 --> 00:09:02,408
Two, two tops! You hear me?
201
00:09:02,443 --> 00:09:04,910
Carla, come on. Calm down.
202
00:09:06,447 --> 00:09:11,216
Sammy, you get 15 in the city?
203
00:09:11,252 --> 00:09:13,429
Hey, so they're
gonna have a baby.
204
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,533
They'll, they'll find
their way through it.
205
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:19,158
You don't understand.
206
00:09:19,193 --> 00:09:20,392
My life is over.
207
00:09:20,428 --> 00:09:22,794
I'm going to be a grandmother.
208
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:23,957
I mean,
209
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:25,881
I might as well wrap myself up
210
00:09:25,916 --> 00:09:27,215
in a black babushka,
211
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:29,751
get fat and grow
hairs out of my moles.
212
00:09:29,787 --> 00:09:31,252
Oh, come on.
213
00:09:32,556 --> 00:09:33,767
You're exaggerating.
214
00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:36,208
Do I have to get
out the family album?
215
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,842
Oh, God,
216
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:39,261
this is terrible.
217
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,747
Look at my life.
218
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,049
I never had a childhood.
219
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,084
I married Nick when I was 15.
220
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,904
Never got to go to the
prom or homecoming,
221
00:09:48,939 --> 00:09:50,706
to a slumber party,
222
00:09:50,741 --> 00:09:53,542
to Fort Lauderdale
on Spring Break.
223
00:09:53,577 --> 00:09:55,811
Or on one lousy
date with Fabian.
224
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,748
Now I don't even
get a middle age.
225
00:09:59,783 --> 00:10:03,017
Go straight from
grade school to Granny.
226
00:10:03,053 --> 00:10:04,164
I don't know what to say,
227
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:05,364
Carla.
228
00:10:05,388 --> 00:10:06,805
Just don't say anything, okay?
229
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,240
There's nothing anybody can say
230
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,558
that's gonna change anything,
231
00:10:09,593 --> 00:10:10,826
so just don't say anything.
232
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:11,510
Yeah, but, Carla...
233
00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:12,785
Sam, I said don't say anything.
234
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,006
Weren't you listening to me?
235
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:14,746
Yes, Carla...
236
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,414
I said don't say anything!
237
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,799
Nobody listens to me.
238
00:10:17,835 --> 00:10:18,383
I listen to...
239
00:10:18,419 --> 00:10:21,186
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
240
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:24,339
Just stay away
and leave me alone!
241
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,692
I'm going to my room,
242
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,727
wait for the angel of death.
243
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,772
Oh, here's one of
my favorite paintings
244
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,640
of the Comuneros.
245
00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:45,809
It depicts the peasant
army struggling
246
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:49,046
to push this cannon
to the top of the hill.
247
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:51,382
Later, they found out
they were on the wrong hill
248
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,434
and had fired on
their own village.
249
00:10:53,469 --> 00:10:57,855
These people had no luck.
250
00:10:59,391 --> 00:11:02,392
That's fascinating, Dorothy.
251
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:04,548
Isn't that fascinating, Frasier?
252
00:11:05,815 --> 00:11:07,181
Oh, yes, yes.
253
00:11:07,216 --> 00:11:11,185
You know, these stories make
me long to visit Paraguay...
254
00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:13,721
right now.
255
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,896
I hired you as a
temporary waitress.
256
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,031
What on earth were you
doing with your blouse off?
257
00:11:24,066 --> 00:11:25,499
Serving drinks.
258
00:11:25,535 --> 00:11:27,001
This is not a topless bar.
259
00:11:27,036 --> 00:11:29,247
What, I'm supposed to
get tips for good service?
260
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:31,249
Yes, dear, that's the
way we do it around here.
261
00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:32,506
Well, I'm sorry,
262
00:11:32,542 --> 00:11:34,842
but I don't beauties
like these under wraps.
263
00:11:34,877 --> 00:11:36,193
Out.
264
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,678
Out!
265
00:11:37,714 --> 00:11:39,914
God, that is the fourth temp
266
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,549
waitress we've gone through.
267
00:11:41,584 --> 00:11:42,716
I hate this bar.
268
00:11:42,752 --> 00:11:44,718
Excuse me, Miss, can
we get some service?
269
00:11:44,754 --> 00:11:46,186
Yes, sir.
270
00:11:46,221 --> 00:11:47,533
Miss,
271
00:11:47,557 --> 00:11:48,901
this martini is too dry.
272
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:51,058
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll
take care of that.
273
00:11:51,093 --> 00:11:52,225
I've had it.
274
00:11:52,261 --> 00:11:53,661
Isn't Carla ever coming back?
275
00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:55,206
I was not born to be a waitress.
276
00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:56,775
I was born to manage waitresses.
277
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,639
Oh, Miss? You'll get it when
I'm damn good and ready!
278
00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:03,204
Oh, God.
279
00:12:03,239 --> 00:12:05,050
Well, we tried to
cheer up Carla,
280
00:12:05,074 --> 00:12:06,635
but I don't think it worked.
281
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,642
Yeah? How far did you get?
282
00:12:08,677 --> 00:12:10,322
About a half block away.
283
00:12:10,346 --> 00:12:13,214
She hit Mr. Clavin with a rock.
284
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:16,350
Woody, uh, would you
have a little look-see?
285
00:12:16,385 --> 00:12:17,517
Is there a lump up there?
286
00:12:17,553 --> 00:12:19,086
Well, let's see.
287
00:12:19,122 --> 00:12:20,320
No.
288
00:12:20,356 --> 00:12:23,568
Gee, Mr. Clavin, do you
pluck your eyebrows?
289
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,640
We can't get along
without Carla here.
290
00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:29,864
How can we get her back?
291
00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:31,676
Uh, well, I don't
know, but let's start
292
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:32,845
at square one here.
293
00:12:32,869 --> 00:12:34,179
We know that, uh, she's upset
294
00:12:34,203 --> 00:12:35,748
about having a
grandchild, right?
295
00:12:35,772 --> 00:12:37,320
Another round, Sam?
296
00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:38,550
Coming right up.
297
00:12:38,574 --> 00:12:40,574
Table 11, please.
298
00:12:42,378 --> 00:12:43,710
Well, she was complaining
299
00:12:43,746 --> 00:12:46,008
that she'd missed out on all
that teenage stuff, you know?
300
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:47,514
Homecoming, proms, may...
301
00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:48,983
What-What if we do something
302
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,812
to take her back
to her teen years?
303
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:52,052
Like get her pregnant?
304
00:12:52,087 --> 00:12:53,331
No.
305
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,355
That's been done to death.
306
00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:59,059
W-What else did
she say? What else?
307
00:12:59,094 --> 00:13:00,338
Uh, let me think, let me think.
308
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,007
All right, something
about a sleep over.
309
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,241
No, no, I know. Slumber party.
310
00:13:03,265 --> 00:13:04,231
Yeah, slumber party.
311
00:13:04,266 --> 00:13:05,232
A slumber party? Right.
312
00:13:05,267 --> 00:13:06,361
Well, that's it.
313
00:13:06,385 --> 00:13:07,929
Why don't we just
throw the woman
314
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,832
a slumber party, and
that'll cheer her up.
315
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,689
Recreating a ritual
of youth is often
316
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:12,990
just the thing to get someone
317
00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:15,526
out of depression
centered on a fear of aging.
318
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,528
I find it also helps to
listen to heavy doses
319
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:20,063
of Credence Clearwater Revival.
320
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,944
Great.
321
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,346
I'm gonna do that. - All right.
322
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:25,414
Just one question.
323
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,015
What-what do you
do at a slumber party?
324
00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:29,217
Well, the phrase "slumber party"
325
00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:31,253
would imply that one sleeps,
326
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:34,594
but somehow I sense
that's meant to be ironic.
327
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,382
Terrific. We're
really on a roll here.
328
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:39,816
I have a patient of that age.
329
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,519
I suppose I could
do some research
330
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:42,948
and help you put
something together.
331
00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:44,015
Thank you, Lilith.
332
00:13:44,039 --> 00:13:45,250
I would really appreciate that.
333
00:13:45,274 --> 00:13:46,484
Certainly. Say, Rebecca,
334
00:13:46,508 --> 00:13:47,357
if you're in need
335
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:48,525
of some extra guests,
336
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,926
I know a couple
of fun-loving gals
337
00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:51,573
who could really use
a night on the town
338
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:52,607
away from boring old me.
339
00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:54,765
And, uh,
340
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,045
Lilith, you've always told me
341
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,979
that you found Carla
an interesting, uh...
342
00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:59,648
psychological case study.
343
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:00,938
Won't you be lonely?
344
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:01,872
Well, it'll give me
345
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:03,936
a chance to be alone
with Dorothy's books
346
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,159
and a roaring fire.
347
00:14:10,082 --> 00:14:12,127
Well, what do you say, Lilith?
348
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,785
♪ Big wheel keep on turning ♪
349
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:17,054
♪ Proud Mary keep on burning ♪
350
00:14:17,089 --> 00:14:18,889
♪ Rolling ♪
♪ Rolling ♪
351
00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:20,335
♪ Rolling ♪
♪ Rolling ♪
352
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,060
♪ Rolling on the river... ♪
353
00:14:23,095 --> 00:14:26,697
You know, you don't often get
to see them loosen up like this.
354
00:14:37,709 --> 00:14:39,676
Come on in, the coast is clear.
355
00:14:39,711 --> 00:14:40,956
Hi, Eddie. Hey, how you doing?
356
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:42,679
Good. Hi, uh... how are you?
357
00:14:42,714 --> 00:14:43,992
There you go. Thank you so much.
358
00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:46,016
Sure, sure.
359
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:48,412
All right, I'm gonna
put on the 45s.
360
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:49,664
Where's Carla?
361
00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:50,988
She's in the back room knitting.
362
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:52,867
Oh, that's a sign
she's perking up.
363
00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:54,024
I don't think so.
364
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,060
It's her death shroud.
365
00:14:58,030 --> 00:14:59,629
Oh, no.
366
00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:02,566
I forgot the marshmallows
for the hot chocolate.
367
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:05,469
That's okay, we'll use
the ones for the s'mores.
368
00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:07,972
Then what will we
use for the s'mores?
369
00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:09,517
Why don't we just
skip the s'mores?
370
00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:11,853
You've been trying to get rid of
the s'mores since we've started.
371
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:13,010
No, I haven't.
372
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,478
You most certainly have...
373
00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:15,513
Shh! Shh!
374
00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:18,648
Go get Carla.
375
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:19,816
Hey, Carla,
376
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,263
could you come out
here for a second?
377
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:22,998
No!
378
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:25,555
I'd like to discuss something
about your, uh, grave site.
379
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,791
Be right there.
380
00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:36,700
Now!
381
00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:39,036
Surprise!
382
00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,237
What the hell
383
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:42,039
are you doing here?
384
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,208
We're having a slumber party!
385
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:45,842
That's right, Carla.
386
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,911
Hold on to your hat;
the gals are here.
387
00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:49,779
Eddie, get the gun.
388
00:15:49,815 --> 00:15:50,847
Now, Carla,
389
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,016
we know you're down,
390
00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:54,351
but being alone is no way
to deal with depression.
391
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,153
You need your
friends around you.
392
00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:57,554
Good idea.
393
00:15:57,589 --> 00:15:58,889
Who the hell are you?
394
00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:02,092
Dorothy.
395
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,261
Dorothy Greenberg.
396
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,375
Well, listen, Dorothy, Dorothy,
397
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:07,642
get the hell out of here,
398
00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:09,144
and take all this crap with you.
399
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:10,512
Now, come on, Carla. Go, go, go!
400
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:11,635
Come on.
401
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:12,814
Why'd you let them in?
402
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:14,120
Because for the last four days
403
00:16:14,156 --> 00:16:16,089
you've been sitting
around moping and whining
404
00:16:16,124 --> 00:16:17,223
and scaring the kids.
405
00:16:17,259 --> 00:16:18,358
I mean, for God's sake,
406
00:16:18,393 --> 00:16:19,893
you haven't yelled at them once.
407
00:16:19,929 --> 00:16:23,597
Don't you think children
notice those things?
408
00:16:23,632 --> 00:16:25,610
You're right, I'm
not a fit mother.
409
00:16:25,634 --> 00:16:27,000
I'll leave immediately.
410
00:16:27,035 --> 00:16:28,134
No, no, no.
411
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:29,536
Come on, Carla, look.
412
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,038
Look, if you're not
gonna do this for yourself,
413
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,251
will you do it for me?
414
00:16:33,275 --> 00:16:36,409
I can't live with you
like this anymore.
415
00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:38,757
Look, sweetie, gi-give
it a chance, would you?
416
00:16:38,781 --> 00:16:40,080
Come on, give it an hour.
417
00:16:41,283 --> 00:16:42,716
Look, if I do this,
418
00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:44,785
would you and the Supremes
419
00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:46,798
promise to leave me alone,
420
00:16:46,822 --> 00:16:48,388
get off my back?
421
00:16:48,423 --> 00:16:49,556
We promise.
422
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:52,092
All right, let's get
the thing over with.
423
00:16:52,127 --> 00:16:54,962
Let the slumber party begin.
424
00:16:56,999 --> 00:16:58,794
I'm going to take
off for about an hour,
425
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,918
then I'm gonna come
back and help you clean up
426
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:02,686
after you have all
your wacky gal fun.
427
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,421
Bring body bags.
428
00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,306
Well, Lilith, you have the list.
429
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:12,441
Where do we start?
430
00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:15,399
All right, let's see.
431
00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:17,000
All right, so on the list
432
00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:19,369
we have to do, uh,
each other's hair.
433
00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:22,172
Then we talk about boys.
434
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,074
Ooh, tell scary stories.
435
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:25,409
Have a pillow fight,
436
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:27,355
and then for the grand finale,
437
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,912
assorted madcap pranks.
438
00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:32,148
What kind of pranks?
439
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:33,817
According to my patient,
440
00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:36,186
when the first
person falls asleep,
441
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:39,323
the others take her
underwear, dip it in water
442
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:42,125
and then put it in
the icebox for an hour
443
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,493
to freeze it solid.
444
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:47,347
Or they could let you
wear it for ten minutes.
445
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:51,546
Why don't we just
446
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,371
move to the pillow fight?
447
00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:58,475
Do that again,
448
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,927
and they'll be
tracing you in chalk.
449
00:18:00,963 --> 00:18:03,763
Uh-oh, Carla.
450
00:18:03,799 --> 00:18:07,768
I saw the corners of
your mouth twitching.
451
00:18:07,803 --> 00:18:09,536
Are there little elves
452
00:18:09,571 --> 00:18:10,871
pulling on them?
453
00:18:10,907 --> 00:18:12,973
Up. Up.
454
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,503
Oh, here they go again.
455
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,304
Are you trying not to smile?
456
00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:18,946
No, I'm getting
ready to spit on you.
457
00:18:25,254 --> 00:18:27,270
Yep, in a little under an hour,
458
00:18:27,305 --> 00:18:28,905
Hector "The Hammer" Rodriguez
459
00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:31,408
will be nailing Julio
"The Hasbeen" Rodriguez
460
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,109
into the canvas on our new TV.
461
00:18:33,144 --> 00:18:34,177
Cliffie, in your dreams.
462
00:18:34,212 --> 00:18:36,179
I say "The Hammer"
goes down in five rounds.
463
00:18:36,214 --> 00:18:37,481
You're on.
464
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:38,593
I say three. Two.
465
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:39,828
All right. Get some
money up here.
466
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,195
We don't even have a manual.
467
00:18:41,219 --> 00:18:43,064
How are you gonna
hook that thing up?
468
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:44,131
Easy, Sam.
469
00:18:44,155 --> 00:18:46,073
They included a
special videotape
470
00:18:46,108 --> 00:18:48,608
showing exactly how
to hook everything up.
471
00:18:48,644 --> 00:18:51,211
So all we have to do
is hook everything up,
472
00:18:51,247 --> 00:18:52,345
watch the tape,
473
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,581
and then we'll know
exactly what to do.
474
00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:58,714
Okay, how long
475
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:01,471
before Woody spots
the flaw in his reasoning?
476
00:19:01,506 --> 00:19:04,252
I say, uh, eight
minutes. Give me three.
477
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:06,309
Okay, I say five. I say two.
478
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:09,858
Yeah, I'm in, I'm in.
479
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,081
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
480
00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:12,282
There you go. I'm in for ten.
481
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:13,433
Cheers.
482
00:19:13,468 --> 00:19:14,729
Sam, we're over here at Carla's,
483
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:16,114
but things aren't
going very well.
484
00:19:16,138 --> 00:19:17,165
I thought that maybe
485
00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,034
you guys could come
over and crash the party.
486
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:21,608
You know, something to
shake things up a little bit?
487
00:19:21,644 --> 00:19:22,759
I'm desperate.
488
00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:24,127
Oh, really?
489
00:19:24,162 --> 00:19:26,443
I bet you're kind of sexy
when you're desperate, huh?
490
00:19:27,983 --> 00:19:28,932
Breathing heavily?
491
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:29,883
Sam.
492
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:31,084
Is your chest heaving?
493
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,280
Sam, please.
494
00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:33,937
Is your nightgown clinging
495
00:19:33,972 --> 00:19:35,705
to your sweat-soaked body?
496
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,125
Yes.
497
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,960
We're on our way.
498
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:42,941
Hang on here.
499
00:19:42,965 --> 00:19:44,809
How can I hook this
up to watch the tape
500
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:46,394
if I don't know
how to hook it up?
501
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:48,084
Uh, two minutes. No.
502
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,219
Who had two?
503
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,253
Listen, guys, uh,
that was Rebecca.
504
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,610
Uh, slumber party's gone sour.
505
00:19:56,645 --> 00:19:57,723
Let's go help her out.
506
00:19:57,747 --> 00:19:59,324
Wait, wait, Sam,
what about the fight?
507
00:19:59,348 --> 00:20:00,413
Oh, come on.
508
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,515
You think Woody's
gonna be able to fix that?
509
00:20:02,551 --> 00:20:04,684
No one but Carla can
hook up a TV around here.
510
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,820
So we'll go cheer her
up and bring her back.
511
00:20:06,855 --> 00:20:08,416
Don't be so harsh
on the kid, Sam.
512
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,651
Have a little faith here.
513
00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:10,807
Wait a minute.
514
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,559
What are all these wires?
515
00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:16,993
Party's gone sour, you say.
516
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,447
Want another s'more?
517
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,260
Not sweet enough for me.
518
00:20:35,284 --> 00:20:38,252
I think I'll just have
a bowl of syrup.
519
00:20:38,287 --> 00:20:40,287
Look, Carla.
520
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,322
Lilith's hair is
coming out nice.
521
00:20:42,358 --> 00:20:44,458
Yeah, in clumps.
522
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,828
Carla, do you want
me to fix your hair, too?
523
00:20:48,864 --> 00:20:49,896
What do you say?
524
00:20:49,932 --> 00:20:52,244
I say your hour is almost over.
525
00:20:52,268 --> 00:20:53,700
Right.
526
00:20:53,735 --> 00:20:56,903
Um, let's see what's
next on the list?
527
00:20:56,939 --> 00:20:58,305
Ooh, good!
528
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,607
We get to tell scary stories.
529
00:21:00,642 --> 00:21:02,543
You want to hear a scary story?
530
00:21:02,578 --> 00:21:04,344
I'll tell you a scary story.
531
00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:07,047
My life, that's a scary story.
532
00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:08,932
Wonderful, Carla!
533
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,868
Okay, who's next?
534
00:21:14,757 --> 00:21:16,156
Oh, I hope it's not some boys
535
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:18,111
trying to crash
our slumber party.
536
00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:21,161
What?!
537
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:22,474
Hi, listen. What?!
538
00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:23,909
I know, I know you
don't want to see me.
539
00:21:23,933 --> 00:21:25,009
But I'll bet you want to see
540
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:26,066
the Four Swell Guys.
541
00:21:26,101 --> 00:21:27,312
We're going to be bringing you
542
00:21:27,336 --> 00:21:28,980
memories of your
swinging teenage years.
543
00:21:29,004 --> 00:21:31,032
Do you remember this, Carla?
544
00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:33,723
♪ Duke, Duke,
Duke, Duke of Earl ♪
545
00:21:33,758 --> 00:21:35,225
♪ Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl ♪
546
00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:37,894
♪ Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl ♪
547
00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:39,729
♪ Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl ♪
548
00:21:39,764 --> 00:21:41,964
♪ As I walked
through this world ♪
549
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,734
♪ Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl ♪
550
00:21:44,769 --> 00:21:46,803
♪ Nothing can stop... ♪
Shut up!
551
00:21:46,838 --> 00:21:48,137
♪ Duke, Duke... ♪
552
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:50,240
Why do you all keep
coming over here?
553
00:21:50,275 --> 00:21:52,141
We're trying to cheer you up.
554
00:21:52,177 --> 00:21:53,376
Well, stop it!
555
00:21:54,430 --> 00:21:55,762
You can't cheer me up.
556
00:21:55,797 --> 00:21:57,097
Why do people think
557
00:21:57,133 --> 00:21:59,111
they always have to rush over
558
00:21:59,135 --> 00:22:00,867
a-and talk somebody out of it
559
00:22:00,902 --> 00:22:02,569
when they're feeling lousy?
560
00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:06,072
Look, this grandmother thing
561
00:22:06,107 --> 00:22:08,542
is just something I
have to work through,
562
00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:09,743
and I will in time.
563
00:22:12,348 --> 00:22:14,681
There's nothing any
of you guys could do.
564
00:22:14,717 --> 00:22:17,534
Unless you can make me 15 again.
565
00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:20,220
Can any of you
566
00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:21,889
make me 15 again?
567
00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:26,793
Well, can you?
568
00:22:29,998 --> 00:22:32,448
Look, if you really
cared about me,
569
00:22:32,484 --> 00:22:35,151
you would just...
get out of my house
570
00:22:35,186 --> 00:22:38,354
and do what I asked
you to a long time ago.
571
00:22:38,389 --> 00:22:42,391
Just... just leave me alone.
572
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:46,396
You mean you really
573
00:22:46,432 --> 00:22:47,764
want to be left alone?
574
00:22:51,836 --> 00:22:53,381
Let's go, guys. Come on.
575
00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:54,971
Now what?
576
00:22:55,006 --> 00:22:56,072
The party was stupid.
577
00:22:56,107 --> 00:22:58,341
This was not a stupid party.
578
00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,776
Oh, well, I stand corrected.
579
00:22:59,811 --> 00:23:01,811
It was the social
event of the season.
580
00:23:02,781 --> 00:23:03,946
Shut up.
581
00:23:03,982 --> 00:23:06,422
Oh, yeah? You want
a punch in the mouth?
582
00:23:08,953 --> 00:23:10,737
You're gonna be all right?
583
00:23:10,772 --> 00:23:12,205
Yeah.
584
00:23:12,241 --> 00:23:14,674
I appreciate what
you tried to do, Sam.
585
00:23:14,709 --> 00:23:16,687
I'll be okay, you know?
586
00:23:16,711 --> 00:23:19,896
You know, something
always comes along,
587
00:23:19,932 --> 00:23:22,332
some little something,
588
00:23:22,367 --> 00:23:23,850
makes everything work out.
589
00:23:25,020 --> 00:23:26,147
But I got to find it myself.
590
00:23:26,171 --> 00:23:27,270
You can't do it for me.
591
00:23:27,305 --> 00:23:28,771
All right.
592
00:23:30,308 --> 00:23:32,842
You know my number.
593
00:23:38,550 --> 00:23:39,683
Sorry, Carla, I, uh...
594
00:23:41,637 --> 00:23:43,537
just forgot my jacket.
595
00:23:50,662 --> 00:23:53,846
Darn these pants.
596
00:23:53,882 --> 00:23:55,082
Why do they keep doing this?
597
00:23:55,116 --> 00:23:56,182
I had them fixed.
40391
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