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1
00:00:01,540 --> 00:00:04,310
(Sam)
cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,377 --> 00:00:07,229
Good afternoon, everyone.
Have i missed anything?
3
00:00:07,296 --> 00:00:10,865
Uh, well, we're just having
a little bit of spring
training debate over here.
4
00:00:10,933 --> 00:00:12,401
Mmm.
Who do you, uh,
5
00:00:12,468 --> 00:00:14,302
who do you pick
for the pennant
this year, huh?
6
00:00:14,370 --> 00:00:16,838
Well, if that's not
the most loaded question
i've ever heard.
7
00:00:16,906 --> 00:00:19,941
Uh, who are you
all going with,
uh, boston, perchance?
8
00:00:20,010 --> 00:00:22,144
Uh, as coincidence
would have it, yeah.
9
00:00:22,212 --> 00:00:24,313
You know, we go through
the same charade
every year.
10
00:00:24,381 --> 00:00:26,515
Colored by your
hometown chauvinism,
11
00:00:26,582 --> 00:00:28,884
you throw statistics
and feasibility to the wind
12
00:00:28,951 --> 00:00:30,185
and predict boston,
13
00:00:30,253 --> 00:00:31,620
and you're usually wrong.
14
00:00:31,687 --> 00:00:33,822
Well, i'm going out
on a limb this year.
15
00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:37,576
I'm going to be
the only one to pick
the new york yankees.
16
00:00:37,644 --> 00:00:40,378
You're not the only one
to pick the yankees, frase.
17
00:00:40,380 --> 00:00:42,598
I'm not?
(Carla)
no. Steve picked them, too.
18
00:00:42,665 --> 00:00:44,850
Hey, woody,
is steve back there
with you?
19
00:00:44,918 --> 00:00:46,000
(Woody)
you bet, carla.
20
00:00:46,069 --> 00:00:49,771
[Steve exclaiming
in muffled voice]
21
00:00:52,509 --> 00:00:53,742
(frasier)
you didn't let me finish.
22
00:00:53,810 --> 00:00:55,643
You see,
i--i picked the yankees
to lose, you see?
23
00:00:55,711 --> 00:00:56,812
I, uh,
24
00:00:57,546 --> 00:00:58,847
i love the red sox.
25
00:00:59,516 --> 00:01:00,749
Don't hurt me, please.
26
00:01:06,906 --> 00:01:08,990
¶ Sometimes you want to go
27
00:01:09,058 --> 00:01:12,293
¶ where everybody
knows your name ¶
28
00:01:14,663 --> 00:01:17,766
¶ and they're always
glad you came ¶
29
00:01:19,202 --> 00:01:21,636
¶ you wanna be
where you can see ¶
30
00:01:21,704 --> 00:01:24,339
¶ our troubles
are all the same ¶
31
00:01:24,406 --> 00:01:28,343
¶ you wanna go
where everybody
knows your name ¶
32
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,297
hey, everybody.
33
00:01:49,365 --> 00:01:51,566
Oh, sam,
you're just the guy
i've been lookin' for.
34
00:01:51,634 --> 00:01:52,551
Why is that, woody?
35
00:01:52,619 --> 00:01:54,036
'Cause you weren't here.
36
00:01:57,673 --> 00:01:58,941
Check this out, sam.
37
00:01:59,842 --> 00:02:01,977
It's a promise ring
for kelly.
38
00:02:02,045 --> 00:02:03,428
By givin' her
this ring,
39
00:02:03,496 --> 00:02:05,364
i'm makin' a deep
and solemn promise
40
00:02:05,431 --> 00:02:08,266
that someday
i'm gonna give her
an engagement ring.
41
00:02:08,334 --> 00:02:10,986
That's beautiful, man.
That's beautiful.
42
00:02:11,053 --> 00:02:12,971
I've given a lot of those
to women.
43
00:02:13,039 --> 00:02:14,973
Of course,
uh, in my case,
44
00:02:15,041 --> 00:02:16,658
it was a deep
and solemn promise
45
00:02:16,726 --> 00:02:18,226
that their backs
will arch.
46
00:02:22,231 --> 00:02:24,149
So, uh, woodworth,
47
00:02:24,151 --> 00:02:27,986
why the, uh, sudden jump
on the old bullet train
to commitmentville, huh?
48
00:02:28,054 --> 00:02:30,038
Well, um,
kelly's leavin' tomorrow.
49
00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:31,573
Her dad's sendin' her
to europe
50
00:02:31,641 --> 00:02:33,275
to study for a year.
51
00:02:33,342 --> 00:02:35,510
I wanna give her this ring
so she won't forget me.
52
00:02:36,612 --> 00:02:38,446
God, a whole year.
53
00:02:38,514 --> 00:02:40,849
I'm gonna be
one lost and lonely soul.
54
00:02:40,917 --> 00:02:41,984
Mmm.
55
00:02:42,051 --> 00:02:43,152
[Laughing]
56
00:02:43,219 --> 00:02:46,288
"bullet train
to commitmentville."
57
00:02:46,355 --> 00:02:48,923
You crack me up,
mr. Clavin.
58
00:02:48,991 --> 00:02:51,043
Thank you, woody.
59
00:02:51,111 --> 00:02:54,746
Woody, you can't believe
that your beloved kelly
would actually forget you.
60
00:02:54,813 --> 00:02:57,382
Well, i love kelly
and all, dr. Crane,
61
00:02:57,449 --> 00:02:59,918
but you gotta admit,
she's no rocket scientist.
62
00:03:01,604 --> 00:03:04,690
Yeah. I sympathize, woody.
63
00:03:04,757 --> 00:03:09,260
I once, uh, experienced
a painful separation myself.
64
00:03:09,328 --> 00:03:12,330
A woman i cared
very, very deeply about
left me.
65
00:03:12,398 --> 00:03:13,498
Oh, yeah.
66
00:03:13,566 --> 00:03:15,300
Your mom moved
to florida.
67
00:03:18,304 --> 00:03:19,304
She's right.
68
00:03:21,774 --> 00:03:24,376
I think i'm gonna go
and give that little cutie
a call right now.
69
00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:28,881
Wow.
70
00:03:28,948 --> 00:03:31,183
Kelly going to study
in europe.
71
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,684
Well, it'll be tough
on you, woody,
72
00:03:32,751 --> 00:03:34,736
but, boy,
what an opportunity
for her.
73
00:03:34,803 --> 00:03:36,254
Yeah.
You're right,
miss howe.
74
00:03:36,322 --> 00:03:38,040
You know,
and if i know her father,
75
00:03:38,107 --> 00:03:39,791
she's not gonna
have to do it
like i did.
76
00:03:39,859 --> 00:03:43,362
Backpacking,
hanging out
in seedy youth hostels,
77
00:03:43,429 --> 00:03:45,863
hitching rides
with sleazy locals
78
00:03:45,931 --> 00:03:48,100
who use
their inability
to speak english
79
00:03:48,167 --> 00:03:50,868
as an excuse
to give you directions
on your sweater.
80
00:03:51,988 --> 00:03:54,072
That sweet
little kelly girl
81
00:03:54,140 --> 00:03:57,442
will get everything
handed to her
on a silver platter.
82
00:03:57,510 --> 00:03:59,678
I hope she chokes
on europe.
83
00:04:02,865 --> 00:04:04,849
Well, miss howe
shouldn't be mad
at kelly.
84
00:04:04,917 --> 00:04:06,818
I mean,
it's her dad's idea.
85
00:04:06,885 --> 00:04:08,820
He's just
sendin' her away
to hurt me.
86
00:04:08,887 --> 00:04:11,723
Oh, come on, woody.
Probably doesn't have anything
to do with you.
87
00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:14,326
He probably just wants
to prove to his friends
88
00:04:14,393 --> 00:04:17,862
that he's rich enough
to send his daughter
to a fancy school in europe.
89
00:04:17,930 --> 00:04:19,448
Has it occurred
to anyone
90
00:04:19,515 --> 00:04:22,301
that kelly might just want
the best education
money can buy?
91
00:04:22,368 --> 00:04:23,852
Well, that could be,
dr. Crane,
92
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,487
but i think
he's sendin' her
to europe
93
00:04:25,554 --> 00:04:27,105
to get her away from me.
94
00:04:27,173 --> 00:04:28,423
Why do you think that?
95
00:04:28,491 --> 00:04:29,891
Because he told me so.
96
00:04:33,646 --> 00:04:35,079
Afternoon, everybody.
97
00:04:35,147 --> 00:04:36,631
(All)
norm!
98
00:04:36,699 --> 00:04:38,633
Nice cold beer
coming up,
mr. Peterson.
99
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:41,620
You mean, nice cold beer
going down mr. Peterson.
100
00:04:41,688 --> 00:04:43,655
Wait a minute.
Not so fast.
101
00:04:43,722 --> 00:04:46,358
What?
It's time for us
to pick our designated driver
102
00:04:46,425 --> 00:04:47,826
for the night.
[Norm groaning]
103
00:04:47,894 --> 00:04:49,894
ok, you all
know the rules.
104
00:04:49,962 --> 00:04:52,381
Write your names down
on a slip of paper.
105
00:04:52,448 --> 00:04:56,318
Uh, you know, i understand
you can, uh, tell a lot
about a person
106
00:04:56,385 --> 00:04:57,785
by analyzing
their signature.
107
00:04:57,853 --> 00:04:59,571
You ever-- you ever,
uh, get into that, doc?
108
00:04:59,639 --> 00:05:00,905
Oh, come on.
109
00:05:00,973 --> 00:05:02,341
I'm a trained psychiatrist,
110
00:05:02,408 --> 00:05:04,609
not some fortune-teller
in a cheap carnival tent.
111
00:05:04,677 --> 00:05:06,060
Yeah, well,
that's too bad.
112
00:05:06,128 --> 00:05:09,364
I always, uh, wondered
what my signature
said about me.
113
00:05:09,432 --> 00:05:10,432
Mother of god!
114
00:05:12,468 --> 00:05:13,468
What?
115
00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:19,741
And the lucky loser is...
116
00:05:23,396 --> 00:05:24,663
yeesh!
117
00:05:24,731 --> 00:05:25,930
Cliff clavin.
118
00:05:27,583 --> 00:05:29,217
You all get
to ride shotgun
119
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,052
in a brand-new
postal vehicle.
120
00:05:32,388 --> 00:05:33,421
Oh, great.
121
00:05:33,489 --> 00:05:34,790
We'll all have a ride,
122
00:05:34,857 --> 00:05:36,658
but we'll all go
to the wrong address.
123
00:05:39,345 --> 00:05:40,945
That better be
the beer talking.
124
00:05:43,365 --> 00:05:45,784
Well, cliffie,
i guess that's just
the luck of the draw, huh?
125
00:05:45,918 --> 00:05:47,502
Speaking of draw,
sammy--
wait a minute,
126
00:05:47,569 --> 00:05:48,603
what's this?
What?
127
00:05:48,755 --> 00:05:51,123
What? Give me that.
No! Wait a minute.
128
00:05:51,190 --> 00:05:53,358
This says "norm peterson."
129
00:05:53,426 --> 00:05:56,311
[All groaning]
hey, wait a minute!
130
00:05:56,378 --> 00:05:58,479
You didn't put this
in the hat!
131
00:05:58,547 --> 00:06:00,064
Oh, it's supposed to go
in the hat?
132
00:06:00,132 --> 00:06:01,233
[All groaning]
133
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:02,801
come on.
134
00:06:02,868 --> 00:06:04,102
Look, how many times
have you done this?
135
00:06:04,170 --> 00:06:06,405
Well, i'm embarrassed to say
this is my very first time.
136
00:06:06,472 --> 00:06:08,273
This is the first time
you cheated?
137
00:06:08,341 --> 00:06:11,276
Oh, i thought you meant
getting caught.
138
00:06:11,344 --> 00:06:14,946
All right.
Thanks to your good buddy,
norm peterson,
139
00:06:15,014 --> 00:06:17,682
the first drawing
is null and void.
140
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:18,833
Ok, everybody.
141
00:06:18,901 --> 00:06:21,102
Once again,
names in the hat.
142
00:06:21,170 --> 00:06:22,153
(Carla)
come on.
143
00:06:22,221 --> 00:06:24,239
I'm watching you, peterson.
144
00:06:24,306 --> 00:06:25,724
Don't watch me,
carla.
145
00:06:25,792 --> 00:06:27,341
What, you think
i like it?
146
00:06:33,249 --> 00:06:34,249
All right.
147
00:06:35,851 --> 00:06:37,385
And the lucky loser is...
148
00:06:39,221 --> 00:06:40,855
norm peterson.
149
00:06:40,923 --> 00:06:42,623
[All exclaiming]
well, well, well.
150
00:06:42,691 --> 00:06:45,727
Great. Great.
First time i enter
this damn thing.
151
00:06:45,794 --> 00:06:47,562
You couldn't pick
"norm peterson"
152
00:06:47,630 --> 00:06:49,764
or "norm peterson"?
153
00:06:49,832 --> 00:06:52,200
[Mumbling]
154
00:06:52,268 --> 00:06:54,836
well, "frasier crane."
At least one person
here is honest.
155
00:06:54,904 --> 00:06:56,554
I beg your pardon.
I wrote "norm peterson."
156
00:07:00,559 --> 00:07:02,093
I guess you're right.
I wrote that.
157
00:07:06,198 --> 00:07:07,832
Hi, woody.
158
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:10,719
Oh, hey, kelly.
I didn't expect
to see you here.
159
00:07:10,787 --> 00:07:13,622
Oh, woody, i'm leaving
for europe first thing
in the morning,
160
00:07:13,689 --> 00:07:16,925
and i wanted to spend
every single free minute
of the time i have left
161
00:07:16,992 --> 00:07:18,226
with you.
162
00:07:18,228 --> 00:07:19,827
That's a great idea.
163
00:07:19,895 --> 00:07:22,213
But first,
i have to get my hair done.
164
00:07:22,281 --> 00:07:24,082
Oh, then i have to get
my shots,
165
00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:26,417
and i have to buy
a new bathing suit.
166
00:07:26,485 --> 00:07:28,953
Oh, and i haven't even
started packing.
167
00:07:29,021 --> 00:07:30,555
So what are you saying,
kelly?
168
00:07:31,073 --> 00:07:32,224
I guess, bye.
169
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,746
Well, at least we had
this time together.
170
00:07:37,830 --> 00:07:40,665
Oh, listen, before you go,
there's somethin' i want
to give you.
171
00:07:42,235 --> 00:07:43,351
This
172
00:07:44,887 --> 00:07:46,554
is a promise ring.
173
00:07:46,622 --> 00:07:47,888
By giving you
this ring,
174
00:07:47,956 --> 00:07:49,741
i'm makin' a promise
that someday
175
00:07:49,808 --> 00:07:52,260
i'm gonna be giving you
an engagement ring.
176
00:07:52,328 --> 00:07:55,347
Oh, woody,
that's beautiful.
177
00:07:55,414 --> 00:07:57,649
Yeah, well, it's been
in my family for years.
178
00:07:57,717 --> 00:07:59,600
My dad gave it
to some chick on guam.
179
00:08:03,372 --> 00:08:05,957
That--that was
before he met my mom.
180
00:08:06,025 --> 00:08:08,376
Oh. Woody, i'll never
take it off.
181
00:08:08,443 --> 00:08:09,711
Yeah.
182
00:08:09,778 --> 00:08:12,480
But why are you
giving this to me right now?
183
00:08:12,548 --> 00:08:14,365
Oh, well,
i'm on a break right now.
184
00:08:16,518 --> 00:08:18,536
Not since myrna loy
and william powell
185
00:08:18,604 --> 00:08:20,538
have i heard
such a rich collection
of witticisms
186
00:08:20,606 --> 00:08:22,307
exchanged
in such a pithy manner.
187
00:08:23,576 --> 00:08:25,109
Was that, that, uh,
drunk couple
188
00:08:25,177 --> 00:08:27,095
who was always fighting
in the pool room there?
189
00:08:27,097 --> 00:08:28,346
No. Those were the lunts.
190
00:08:30,299 --> 00:08:31,799
Well, i'm--i'm givin' this
to you
191
00:08:31,867 --> 00:08:33,301
because you're gonna be
in europe,
192
00:08:33,369 --> 00:08:36,271
and you're gonna be meetin'
all those rich dukes
and earls
193
00:08:36,339 --> 00:08:38,673
and counts and basies
and stuff, you know.
194
00:08:40,876 --> 00:08:42,843
Woody, you have nothing
to worry about.
195
00:08:42,911 --> 00:08:44,011
I love you.
196
00:08:44,079 --> 00:08:45,480
[Chuckling]
197
00:08:45,548 --> 00:08:47,732
and besides,
i'll probably be so busy
with my studies
198
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,084
that i won't have time
for anything else.
199
00:08:50,152 --> 00:08:52,186
Really?
Wh-what are you studying?
200
00:08:52,638 --> 00:08:54,956
French, economics,
201
00:08:55,023 --> 00:08:57,024
and nude male
figure drawing.
202
00:09:00,913 --> 00:09:02,596
Well,
that ought to keep you
real busy.
203
00:09:04,433 --> 00:09:06,651
Yo, peterson.
I need a ride.
204
00:09:08,187 --> 00:09:09,670
What, you going home
already?
205
00:09:09,738 --> 00:09:11,739
No, down to the corner
so i can buy a pack of gum.
206
00:09:12,842 --> 00:09:14,058
Gum?
207
00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:15,493
Norm.
(Norm)
what?
208
00:09:15,561 --> 00:09:19,697
This is your duty.
Now finish your shirley temple
and drive him.
209
00:09:19,765 --> 00:09:22,567
All right, all right.
I'll drive you
to get some gum.
210
00:09:22,635 --> 00:09:24,653
Hey, i know,
after we get the gum,
211
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,555
why don't i take you
on a tour
of the freedom trail?
212
00:09:27,622 --> 00:09:28,957
Can we pick up
my kid?
213
00:09:29,024 --> 00:09:30,124
I was joking.
214
00:09:30,192 --> 00:09:31,525
He'll be heartbroken.
215
00:09:34,313 --> 00:09:35,946
Well, woody,
216
00:09:36,014 --> 00:09:38,783
i kind of wish i didn't
have to go all the way
to europe right now,
217
00:09:38,850 --> 00:09:40,418
what with us getting
so close and everything.
218
00:09:40,486 --> 00:09:41,552
Mmm.
219
00:09:41,621 --> 00:09:43,354
Daddy really
wants me to go, and,
220
00:09:43,422 --> 00:09:44,656
well, you know how he is.
221
00:09:45,658 --> 00:09:47,458
Do i ever.
222
00:09:47,526 --> 00:09:49,043
What's that
supposed to mean?
223
00:09:50,345 --> 00:09:52,647
Nothing. I--i just know
how he is.
224
00:09:53,299 --> 00:09:54,950
What do you mean
by "is"?
225
00:09:55,918 --> 00:09:57,752
Well, he can be
sort of...
226
00:09:58,454 --> 00:10:00,255
you know.
227
00:10:00,322 --> 00:10:02,139
What do you mean
by "you know"?
228
00:10:03,325 --> 00:10:04,742
Same thing as "is."
229
00:10:06,779 --> 00:10:08,313
Hey.
230
00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:10,431
Are you putting down daddy?
231
00:10:10,499 --> 00:10:12,467
I'm not putting down
daddy.
232
00:10:12,535 --> 00:10:14,302
Don't call him "daddy."
233
00:10:14,369 --> 00:10:17,055
He's not your daddy,
he's my daddy.
234
00:10:17,122 --> 00:10:18,756
Well, it's a good thing,
235
00:10:18,824 --> 00:10:20,558
because my daddy
doesn't treat me
like a baby.
236
00:10:20,693 --> 00:10:21,543
[Exclaiming]
237
00:10:21,610 --> 00:10:24,045
woody boyd,
what an awful thing to say.
238
00:10:25,147 --> 00:10:27,832
I'm sorry, kelly.
I take it back.
239
00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:30,234
Well, you can
take this back, too.
240
00:10:30,302 --> 00:10:32,136
I can't take this back.
241
00:10:32,204 --> 00:10:33,237
I don't even
have a receipt.
242
00:10:36,142 --> 00:10:38,843
Well, then, i guess
you'll just have to find
the person who has it
243
00:10:38,911 --> 00:10:40,045
and give it back to them,
244
00:10:40,112 --> 00:10:42,080
so they can return it
and get credit.
245
00:10:44,116 --> 00:10:45,699
What's that
supposed to mean?
246
00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:47,051
You know what it means.
247
00:10:47,119 --> 00:10:48,219
No, really.
What does it mean?
248
00:10:48,287 --> 00:10:50,521
Stop it, woody.
You can't make up now.
249
00:10:52,207 --> 00:10:54,309
No, really. Can anybody
tell me what it means?
250
00:11:03,319 --> 00:11:04,536
Evening, everybody.
251
00:11:04,604 --> 00:11:06,637
(All)
norm!
252
00:11:06,705 --> 00:11:07,906
What are you knowin' there,
norm?
253
00:11:07,973 --> 00:11:10,141
How to sit, how to drink.
254
00:11:10,209 --> 00:11:11,309
Wanna quiz me?
255
00:11:12,377 --> 00:11:13,528
Here you go,
big fella.
256
00:11:14,747 --> 00:11:15,697
Sorry.
257
00:11:17,316 --> 00:11:18,766
No suds tonight, norm.
258
00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:21,636
You are still
our designated driver,
remember?
259
00:11:21,704 --> 00:11:24,055
I know that.
You know that.
260
00:11:24,123 --> 00:11:26,391
Did you have to call
every bar in town
and tell them?
261
00:11:28,828 --> 00:11:30,295
Hey, norm,
can i get a lift home?
262
00:11:31,664 --> 00:11:33,715
All right.
263
00:11:33,782 --> 00:11:37,335
Hey, woody, you gonna
have to get your mind off
your problems with kelly.
264
00:11:37,403 --> 00:11:39,437
Is it that obvious, sam?
265
00:11:39,504 --> 00:11:40,938
Well, you're peeling
your thumb.
266
00:11:42,591 --> 00:11:45,160
Thank god you told me
before i put it
in someone's drink.
267
00:11:48,697 --> 00:11:50,632
I just can't
think straight, sam.
268
00:11:50,699 --> 00:11:52,634
I've really blown it
with kelly.
269
00:11:52,701 --> 00:11:54,135
Now she's gonna go off
270
00:11:54,203 --> 00:11:56,103
and marry one of those
worldly european guys
for sure.
271
00:11:56,122 --> 00:11:58,389
Woody, nothing like that's
gonna happen.
272
00:11:58,391 --> 00:11:59,607
Really, miss howe?
273
00:11:59,674 --> 00:12:01,075
No, woody.
274
00:12:01,143 --> 00:12:02,944
Those wealthy
european royals
are not good enough
275
00:12:03,011 --> 00:12:05,330
for princess button-nose
and her daddy.
276
00:12:07,132 --> 00:12:09,901
So, becks,
what's this thing you have
against rich people?
277
00:12:09,969 --> 00:12:13,137
I mean, you're dating
a rich guy, and you want
to be rich yourself, right?
278
00:12:13,205 --> 00:12:14,756
Yes.
279
00:12:14,824 --> 00:12:17,809
And when i am rich,
i will stop hating
rich people,
280
00:12:17,876 --> 00:12:19,276
and start hating
poor people.
281
00:12:20,312 --> 00:12:21,412
It's the american way.
282
00:12:29,021 --> 00:12:30,554
I can't believe it's over.
283
00:12:30,623 --> 00:12:32,256
I can't believe
she's leavin' me.
284
00:12:32,324 --> 00:12:34,358
Oh, come on.
What are you
talking like that for?
285
00:12:34,426 --> 00:12:36,611
You gonna give up
after one little spat?
286
00:12:37,195 --> 00:12:38,796
What else can i do?
287
00:12:38,864 --> 00:12:41,666
Well, you--you can
run to her,
hold her in your arms,
288
00:12:41,734 --> 00:12:43,000
and tell her
that you love her.
289
00:12:43,068 --> 00:12:45,236
Come on, man.
290
00:12:45,304 --> 00:12:47,288
That's a great idea.
Yeah.
291
00:12:47,356 --> 00:12:49,040
Yeah, that's exactly
what i'm gonna do.
292
00:12:49,108 --> 00:12:51,376
(Woody)
see you guys later.
Where are you going, wood?
293
00:12:51,444 --> 00:12:53,160
Sam wants me to elope.
294
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,246
No!
295
00:13:06,338 --> 00:13:08,589
Woody, woody,
i didn't say anything
about eloping.
296
00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:11,392
I didn't mean that.
I just meant you should
go over to her place
297
00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:13,760
and maybe make out
a little bit.
298
00:13:13,828 --> 00:13:16,330
Well, yeah.
And to do that,
we gotta get married, right?
299
00:13:16,398 --> 00:13:17,564
Kids today.
300
00:13:19,268 --> 00:13:20,718
Woody--
excuse me.
I'll handle this.
301
00:13:20,786 --> 00:13:23,304
Woody, listen to me.
302
00:13:23,371 --> 00:13:27,174
I once was deeply in love
with a boy that my parents
did not approve of,
303
00:13:27,242 --> 00:13:30,377
and i thought
about eloping.
304
00:13:30,445 --> 00:13:33,247
But fortunately,
i came to my senses.
305
00:13:33,315 --> 00:13:35,449
I mean, can you imagine
what would have
happened to me
306
00:13:35,517 --> 00:13:37,001
if i had married him?
307
00:13:37,068 --> 00:13:38,719
Yeah, maybe
you'd be happy now,
308
00:13:38,786 --> 00:13:41,322
instead of whining
and being dumped on
your whole life.
309
00:13:44,726 --> 00:13:46,226
Go get her, woody.
310
00:13:46,294 --> 00:13:47,478
No, no, no, no, no!
311
00:13:47,546 --> 00:13:49,880
Woody, woody, come on.
Stop, here, kid.
312
00:13:49,948 --> 00:13:51,181
Think a little bit.
313
00:13:51,249 --> 00:13:53,434
No, sam.
That's all i've done
my whole life,
314
00:13:53,502 --> 00:13:55,419
is think, think, think.
315
00:13:55,487 --> 00:13:57,655
There comes a time
when you gotta
stop thinking.
316
00:13:57,722 --> 00:14:00,324
You taught me that, sam.
317
00:14:00,326 --> 00:14:03,344
Well, i--i just want you
to be sure, man.
That's all.
318
00:14:03,411 --> 00:14:06,013
Sam, i am sure.
I love kelly.
319
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,365
I'm willing
to risk everything
320
00:14:07,432 --> 00:14:09,784
to make her
mrs. Woodrow tiberius boyd.
321
00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:13,454
Tiberius?
322
00:14:13,521 --> 00:14:15,489
You never told us
that was your middle name.
323
00:14:16,942 --> 00:14:18,609
Yeah, right.
I never told kelly, either.
324
00:14:18,677 --> 00:14:20,845
Maybe i'd better
just forget
this whole thing.
325
00:14:20,912 --> 00:14:22,029
(Sam)
hey.
326
00:14:22,097 --> 00:14:24,682
Hey, bro, come on.
No, no, no,
wait a minute.
327
00:14:24,749 --> 00:14:26,316
Now, i-i-i've accepted
the fact
328
00:14:26,384 --> 00:14:28,485
that her middle name
is susan.
329
00:14:31,105 --> 00:14:32,990
I'm gonna go for it.
330
00:14:33,024 --> 00:14:36,543
Oh, hey, sam,
would you come with me?
331
00:14:36,611 --> 00:14:38,479
I mean, you're kind of
like a big brother to me,
332
00:14:38,547 --> 00:14:40,614
and i don't think
i could take a big step
like this
333
00:14:40,682 --> 00:14:42,249
without you there
to support me.
334
00:14:42,317 --> 00:14:44,968
Ah. Well, thanks, woody.
I'm--i'm very touched.
335
00:14:45,036 --> 00:14:46,269
Yeah.
336
00:14:46,338 --> 00:14:48,238
I need someone strong
to hold the ladder.
337
00:14:49,574 --> 00:14:50,907
Thanks, woody.
I'm very touched.
338
00:14:56,331 --> 00:14:57,814
[Speaking quietly]
that's not her room,
either.
339
00:14:57,883 --> 00:14:59,516
Well, what took you
so long up there?
340
00:14:59,584 --> 00:15:01,485
Ghostbusters
was on t.V.
341
00:15:01,553 --> 00:15:03,120
I love that movie.
Oh, yeah.
342
00:15:03,188 --> 00:15:05,222
It's criminal
the way it got snubbed
by the oscars that year.
343
00:15:05,290 --> 00:15:07,358
Yeah, it still
ticks me off.
344
00:15:07,425 --> 00:15:08,692
Let's try
over here.
345
00:15:16,267 --> 00:15:17,418
Evening, everybody.
346
00:15:17,486 --> 00:15:18,319
Norm!
347
00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:24,641
Guess i drove
everyone else home, huh?
348
00:15:24,709 --> 00:15:26,043
That's right.
349
00:15:26,111 --> 00:15:28,379
You know, norm,
i'm proud of you.
350
00:15:28,446 --> 00:15:30,281
I rode you pretty hard
for cheating,
351
00:15:30,348 --> 00:15:31,932
but you really came through.
352
00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,250
[Sighing]
well, thank you.
353
00:15:33,318 --> 00:15:34,685
Now can i have a beer?
354
00:15:35,019 --> 00:15:36,136
Nope, we're closed.
355
00:15:39,957 --> 00:15:44,027
All right.
I guess i deserved that,
cheatin' the way i did.
356
00:15:44,095 --> 00:15:47,130
Tonight actually turned out
to be a pretty
rewarding experience.
357
00:15:47,198 --> 00:15:48,565
What are you
telling me,
358
00:15:48,633 --> 00:15:50,401
you liked cartin' those guys
all over town?
359
00:15:50,468 --> 00:15:52,035
No, i didn't cart 'em
all over town.
360
00:15:52,103 --> 00:15:54,037
I just dropped them all off
at your place.
361
00:15:56,574 --> 00:15:57,741
Great.
362
00:15:57,809 --> 00:16:00,711
I finally get my kids
to stop rolling drunks,
363
00:16:00,779 --> 00:16:03,580
and now you have to go
and put temptation
in their path.
364
00:16:03,648 --> 00:16:04,948
I am telling you,
365
00:16:05,016 --> 00:16:07,250
it is impossible
to raise a family
in the '90s.
366
00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:12,807
Ok.
367
00:16:12,874 --> 00:16:14,942
Something cold and german,
perhaps?
368
00:16:21,449 --> 00:16:22,749
[Whispering]
good news, woody.
369
00:16:22,817 --> 00:16:24,584
[Whispering]
all right. You finally
found kelly's bedroom?
370
00:16:24,652 --> 00:16:27,037
No, i just met
the cutest little
chambermaid.
371
00:16:27,105 --> 00:16:29,289
She was makin' popcorn.
You want some?
372
00:16:29,357 --> 00:16:30,757
Sam, how can you think
of popcorn
373
00:16:30,825 --> 00:16:32,826
when my life and happiness
are at stake?
374
00:16:32,894 --> 00:16:33,960
It's cheddar.
375
00:16:34,029 --> 00:16:35,496
Ooh, gimme.
376
00:16:35,563 --> 00:16:36,596
Thank you.
377
00:16:43,505 --> 00:16:45,239
(Sam)
ouch!
Oh, sorry, sam.
378
00:16:47,775 --> 00:16:50,377
Yeah. This is
kelly's room,
all right, sam.
379
00:16:50,445 --> 00:16:52,312
[Gargling]
how can you tell?
380
00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:53,580
That's her gargle.
381
00:17:01,006 --> 00:17:03,824
Woody, sam,
what are you doing here?
382
00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:06,594
Kelly, i wanna
marry you.
383
00:17:06,661 --> 00:17:08,162
I wanna elope with you
right now.
384
00:17:08,229 --> 00:17:09,779
You mean everything
in the world to me,
385
00:17:09,847 --> 00:17:11,548
and nothin' is
gonna stop me--
386
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,502
hey, you do have
over 1,000 barbie dolls.
387
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,755
I thought you were
just braggin'.
388
00:17:20,425 --> 00:17:23,327
Woody, i just can't
run off and marry you
at the drop of a hat.
389
00:17:24,178 --> 00:17:25,996
Boy, this is
a great little comb.
390
00:17:26,064 --> 00:17:29,266
Teeth aren't too wide,
nice flexibility,
good heft.
391
00:17:29,334 --> 00:17:31,668
I've been looking
for one of these
for my eyebrows.
392
00:17:34,172 --> 00:17:35,539
That one's for blondes.
393
00:17:35,606 --> 00:17:36,957
For--
394
00:17:37,024 --> 00:17:38,892
[chuckling]
jeez, you are rich.
395
00:17:41,312 --> 00:17:43,163
You know,
it--it's not right
for you to be here.
396
00:17:43,231 --> 00:17:45,115
You shouldn't even be
seeing me like this.
397
00:17:45,183 --> 00:17:46,383
I'm not decent.
398
00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:48,018
Well, it's all right, kelly.
I didn't look.
399
00:17:48,970 --> 00:17:50,370
Yeah, i did, sam.
400
00:17:54,158 --> 00:17:55,526
Kelly, i wanna
say somethin'.
401
00:17:57,228 --> 00:17:58,495
I'm not just gonna
stand still
402
00:17:58,563 --> 00:18:00,664
while you run off
to europe.
403
00:18:00,732 --> 00:18:01,798
I love you, kelly,
404
00:18:01,866 --> 00:18:04,801
and i wanna make you
mrs. Woodrow tiberius boyd.
405
00:18:06,121 --> 00:18:07,188
Tiberius?
406
00:18:07,756 --> 00:18:09,690
Susan!
407
00:18:09,757 --> 00:18:13,143
Hey, hey, hey, whoa.
Kids, kids, calm down!
408
00:18:13,211 --> 00:18:16,747
Why is everybody
making such a big fuss
about their middle name?
409
00:18:16,815 --> 00:18:18,231
What's yours, sam?
Hey, shut up.
410
00:18:20,384 --> 00:18:22,086
The point--
sit down here.
411
00:18:22,153 --> 00:18:25,556
The point is
that you should be sharing
with each other how you feel.
412
00:18:25,623 --> 00:18:27,023
Names don't matter.
413
00:18:27,092 --> 00:18:29,359
I'm not saying that
you should get married, but--
414
00:18:29,427 --> 00:18:33,497
no, no. Let's get married.
Oh, that'll be a blast.
415
00:18:33,565 --> 00:18:35,566
Well, whether
you get married or not,
416
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:37,901
what's important is
to share how you feel.
417
00:18:37,969 --> 00:18:40,737
How you feel about him,
how he feels about you.
418
00:18:40,805 --> 00:18:42,506
Woody, i know
he's your friend and all--
419
00:18:42,573 --> 00:18:43,791
beat it, sam.
420
00:18:48,713 --> 00:18:52,115
Boy, g.I. Joe should
come here on leave someday.
421
00:18:59,857 --> 00:19:01,959
Kelly, you mean everything
in the world to me.
422
00:19:02,026 --> 00:19:04,661
And i want you to know
that someday
i'm gonna give you back
423
00:19:04,729 --> 00:19:07,297
everything you've given up
by marrying me.
424
00:19:07,364 --> 00:19:10,717
Oh, woody,
i don't need
all those things.
425
00:19:10,785 --> 00:19:15,138
I'd live in a cold-water flat
in the seediest part of town
to be with you.
426
00:19:15,206 --> 00:19:17,741
Then have i got
a surprise honeymoon suite
for you.
427
00:19:18,643 --> 00:19:19,976
Well, let's go.
428
00:19:20,044 --> 00:19:21,478
Look, i'm all packed
for europe,
429
00:19:21,545 --> 00:19:24,014
so all i have to do
is take out my passport
and voltage changer,
430
00:19:24,082 --> 00:19:25,415
and we're all set.
431
00:19:25,483 --> 00:19:26,817
(Mr. Gaines)
kelly. Kelly, dear.
432
00:19:26,884 --> 00:19:27,968
Oh, no.
433
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:30,404
Woody, quick.
In the closet.
434
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,274
(Woody)
wow.
435
00:19:33,341 --> 00:19:35,475
What are all these
barbie legs doing here?
436
00:19:35,543 --> 00:19:37,027
Sometimes i get mad.
437
00:19:42,284 --> 00:19:43,817
[Knocking on door]
438
00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:44,918
come in, daddy.
439
00:19:47,738 --> 00:19:50,124
Ah, honey.
440
00:19:50,191 --> 00:19:52,776
So, my little kelly-belle
is leaving me.
441
00:19:52,844 --> 00:19:54,228
[Chuckling]
leaving you?
442
00:19:54,345 --> 00:19:56,046
Why do you say that, daddy?
443
00:19:56,113 --> 00:19:57,314
I'm not going away.
444
00:19:57,432 --> 00:19:58,965
Well, you're going off
to europe.
445
00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:00,467
Oh, there.
446
00:20:00,535 --> 00:20:02,869
Yeah, well,
i don't think of that
as away.
447
00:20:06,057 --> 00:20:07,858
Look at you now.
448
00:20:07,926 --> 00:20:10,444
All grown-up
and beautiful.
449
00:20:10,511 --> 00:20:13,447
I can't help but think
of a little,
towheaded butterball
450
00:20:13,514 --> 00:20:15,249
taking her first steps.
451
00:20:15,317 --> 00:20:17,017
Now i'm sending you off
to see the world.
452
00:20:18,753 --> 00:20:22,256
And if,
when you come back,
453
00:20:22,323 --> 00:20:23,723
you still want to be
with woody,
454
00:20:23,792 --> 00:20:25,709
well, that'll be fine
with me,
455
00:20:25,776 --> 00:20:28,462
'cause i'll know
you're making
a grown-up decision.
456
00:20:29,664 --> 00:20:31,699
But no matter how
grown-up you get,
457
00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:35,485
you'll always
be my only kelly,
458
00:20:35,803 --> 00:20:37,588
and i'll always be
your only daddy
459
00:20:38,423 --> 00:20:39,690
till the day i die.
460
00:20:41,058 --> 00:20:42,359
Oh.
[Chuckling]
461
00:20:45,647 --> 00:20:47,297
sweet dreams,
sweetheart.
462
00:20:56,157 --> 00:20:57,307
[Door closing]
463
00:20:57,374 --> 00:20:58,875
ok, woody! Let's go!
464
00:21:01,412 --> 00:21:02,779
Woody?
465
00:21:02,847 --> 00:21:04,347
[Crying]
i can't do it!
466
00:21:07,218 --> 00:21:09,485
God,
he's your only daddy!
467
00:21:09,553 --> 00:21:11,188
I'm just some guy
with a ladder!
468
00:21:13,991 --> 00:21:16,559
But, woody,
what about us?
469
00:21:16,678 --> 00:21:19,596
I can't take away
his little butter-headed
towball.
470
00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:23,983
I think you should go
to europe.
471
00:21:24,853 --> 00:21:26,270
Are you sure, woody?
472
00:21:26,337 --> 00:21:29,189
As sure as corn chiggers
in august.
473
00:21:29,257 --> 00:21:31,191
Well, if--if that's
what you want, woody,
474
00:21:31,259 --> 00:21:33,360
then i'll--i'll go
to europe.
475
00:21:33,428 --> 00:21:37,064
But how will i know
you'll still be here for me
when i get back?
476
00:21:38,566 --> 00:21:40,400
Well, how 'bout this?
477
00:21:42,570 --> 00:21:45,205
We could get
secretly engaged.
478
00:21:45,273 --> 00:21:48,375
Oh, yes, woody.
That's a wonderful idea.
479
00:21:48,442 --> 00:21:50,193
I-it'll be our special secret.
480
00:21:50,261 --> 00:21:52,662
I'll be in europe,
and you'll be here,
481
00:21:52,730 --> 00:21:55,749
and we'll have
an unspoken bond
across the ocean.
482
00:21:55,816 --> 00:21:58,118
Oh, that sounds swell.
483
00:21:58,186 --> 00:21:59,819
So you won't date
any other guys
484
00:21:59,887 --> 00:22:01,555
while you're
in europe?
485
00:22:01,622 --> 00:22:03,473
Well, woody,
if i don't date
any other guys,
486
00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:06,176
then people might suspect
that i'm secretly engaged.
487
00:22:08,929 --> 00:22:10,797
Yeah, that's right, yeah.
488
00:22:10,865 --> 00:22:13,132
So i'll have to do
the same thing
back here in the states.
489
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,901
Except, of course,
i'll date women.
490
00:22:16,821 --> 00:22:18,104
Right, woody.
491
00:22:18,172 --> 00:22:19,239
Yeah.
492
00:22:20,358 --> 00:22:22,092
Now wait a minute. You're--
493
00:22:22,159 --> 00:22:24,127
you're not already
secretly engaged
to someone else, are you?
494
00:22:24,828 --> 00:22:26,012
No,
495
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:27,380
but even if i were,
496
00:22:27,448 --> 00:22:29,582
i couldn't tell you
because it'd be a secret.
497
00:22:30,869 --> 00:22:32,552
Boy, i can trust you.
498
00:22:35,857 --> 00:22:38,358
And i know that you're gonna
come back to me,
499
00:22:38,426 --> 00:22:41,812
and then we're gonna spend
the rest of our lives
together.
500
00:22:41,963 --> 00:22:44,431
So i just wanna
hold this moment
in my mind.
501
00:22:46,467 --> 00:22:48,635
I just wanna look at you
one last time,
502
00:22:49,570 --> 00:22:50,904
then i'm gonna go.
503
00:22:56,227 --> 00:22:58,112
[Thudding]
504
00:22:58,179 --> 00:23:00,130
(woody)
sam? Where's the ladder?
505
00:23:01,866 --> 00:23:03,100
Sam.
506
00:23:03,167 --> 00:23:04,584
Sam?
507
00:23:04,652 --> 00:23:06,236
¶[Theme from ghostbusters
playing]
508
00:23:06,304 --> 00:23:07,737
(man on t.V.)
¶ Who you gonna call?
509
00:23:07,805 --> 00:23:09,206
(Both)
¶ ghostbusters!
37545
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