All language subtitles for Cheers - 822 - Loverboyd

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,540 --> 00:00:04,310 (Sam) cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:04,377 --> 00:00:07,229 Good afternoon, everyone. Have i missed anything? 3 00:00:07,296 --> 00:00:10,865 Uh, well, we're just having a little bit of spring training debate over here. 4 00:00:10,933 --> 00:00:12,401 Mmm. Who do you, uh, 5 00:00:12,468 --> 00:00:14,302 who do you pick for the pennant this year, huh? 6 00:00:14,370 --> 00:00:16,838 Well, if that's not the most loaded question i've ever heard. 7 00:00:16,906 --> 00:00:19,941 Uh, who are you all going with, uh, boston, perchance? 8 00:00:20,010 --> 00:00:22,144 Uh, as coincidence would have it, yeah. 9 00:00:22,212 --> 00:00:24,313 You know, we go through the same charade every year. 10 00:00:24,381 --> 00:00:26,515 Colored by your hometown chauvinism, 11 00:00:26,582 --> 00:00:28,884 you throw statistics and feasibility to the wind 12 00:00:28,951 --> 00:00:30,185 and predict boston, 13 00:00:30,253 --> 00:00:31,620 and you're usually wrong. 14 00:00:31,687 --> 00:00:33,822 Well, i'm going out on a limb this year. 15 00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:37,576 I'm going to be the only one to pick the new york yankees. 16 00:00:37,644 --> 00:00:40,378 You're not the only one to pick the yankees, frase. 17 00:00:40,380 --> 00:00:42,598 I'm not? (Carla) no. Steve picked them, too. 18 00:00:42,665 --> 00:00:44,850 Hey, woody, is steve back there with you? 19 00:00:44,918 --> 00:00:46,000 (Woody) you bet, carla. 20 00:00:46,069 --> 00:00:49,771 [Steve exclaiming in muffled voice] 21 00:00:52,509 --> 00:00:53,742 (frasier) you didn't let me finish. 22 00:00:53,810 --> 00:00:55,643 You see, i--i picked the yankees to lose, you see? 23 00:00:55,711 --> 00:00:56,812 I, uh, 24 00:00:57,546 --> 00:00:58,847 i love the red sox. 25 00:00:59,516 --> 00:01:00,749 Don't hurt me, please. 26 00:01:06,906 --> 00:01:08,990 ¶ Sometimes you want to go 27 00:01:09,058 --> 00:01:12,293 ¶ where everybody knows your name ¶ 28 00:01:14,663 --> 00:01:17,766 ¶ and they're always glad you came ¶ 29 00:01:19,202 --> 00:01:21,636 ¶ you wanna be where you can see ¶ 30 00:01:21,704 --> 00:01:24,339 ¶ our troubles are all the same ¶ 31 00:01:24,406 --> 00:01:28,343 ¶ you wanna go where everybody knows your name ¶ 32 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,297 hey, everybody. 33 00:01:49,365 --> 00:01:51,566 Oh, sam, you're just the guy i've been lookin' for. 34 00:01:51,634 --> 00:01:52,551 Why is that, woody? 35 00:01:52,619 --> 00:01:54,036 'Cause you weren't here. 36 00:01:57,673 --> 00:01:58,941 Check this out, sam. 37 00:01:59,842 --> 00:02:01,977 It's a promise ring for kelly. 38 00:02:02,045 --> 00:02:03,428 By givin' her this ring, 39 00:02:03,496 --> 00:02:05,364 i'm makin' a deep and solemn promise 40 00:02:05,431 --> 00:02:08,266 that someday i'm gonna give her an engagement ring. 41 00:02:08,334 --> 00:02:10,986 That's beautiful, man. That's beautiful. 42 00:02:11,053 --> 00:02:12,971 I've given a lot of those to women. 43 00:02:13,039 --> 00:02:14,973 Of course, uh, in my case, 44 00:02:15,041 --> 00:02:16,658 it was a deep and solemn promise 45 00:02:16,726 --> 00:02:18,226 that their backs will arch. 46 00:02:22,231 --> 00:02:24,149 So, uh, woodworth, 47 00:02:24,151 --> 00:02:27,986 why the, uh, sudden jump on the old bullet train to commitmentville, huh? 48 00:02:28,054 --> 00:02:30,038 Well, um, kelly's leavin' tomorrow. 49 00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:31,573 Her dad's sendin' her to europe 50 00:02:31,641 --> 00:02:33,275 to study for a year. 51 00:02:33,342 --> 00:02:35,510 I wanna give her this ring so she won't forget me. 52 00:02:36,612 --> 00:02:38,446 God, a whole year. 53 00:02:38,514 --> 00:02:40,849 I'm gonna be one lost and lonely soul. 54 00:02:40,917 --> 00:02:41,984 Mmm. 55 00:02:42,051 --> 00:02:43,152 [Laughing] 56 00:02:43,219 --> 00:02:46,288 "bullet train to commitmentville." 57 00:02:46,355 --> 00:02:48,923 You crack me up, mr. Clavin. 58 00:02:48,991 --> 00:02:51,043 Thank you, woody. 59 00:02:51,111 --> 00:02:54,746 Woody, you can't believe that your beloved kelly would actually forget you. 60 00:02:54,813 --> 00:02:57,382 Well, i love kelly and all, dr. Crane, 61 00:02:57,449 --> 00:02:59,918 but you gotta admit, she's no rocket scientist. 62 00:03:01,604 --> 00:03:04,690 Yeah. I sympathize, woody. 63 00:03:04,757 --> 00:03:09,260 I once, uh, experienced a painful separation myself. 64 00:03:09,328 --> 00:03:12,330 A woman i cared very, very deeply about left me. 65 00:03:12,398 --> 00:03:13,498 Oh, yeah. 66 00:03:13,566 --> 00:03:15,300 Your mom moved to florida. 67 00:03:18,304 --> 00:03:19,304 She's right. 68 00:03:21,774 --> 00:03:24,376 I think i'm gonna go and give that little cutie a call right now. 69 00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:28,881 Wow. 70 00:03:28,948 --> 00:03:31,183 Kelly going to study in europe. 71 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,684 Well, it'll be tough on you, woody, 72 00:03:32,751 --> 00:03:34,736 but, boy, what an opportunity for her. 73 00:03:34,803 --> 00:03:36,254 Yeah. You're right, miss howe. 74 00:03:36,322 --> 00:03:38,040 You know, and if i know her father, 75 00:03:38,107 --> 00:03:39,791 she's not gonna have to do it like i did. 76 00:03:39,859 --> 00:03:43,362 Backpacking, hanging out in seedy youth hostels, 77 00:03:43,429 --> 00:03:45,863 hitching rides with sleazy locals 78 00:03:45,931 --> 00:03:48,100 who use their inability to speak english 79 00:03:48,167 --> 00:03:50,868 as an excuse to give you directions on your sweater. 80 00:03:51,988 --> 00:03:54,072 That sweet little kelly girl 81 00:03:54,140 --> 00:03:57,442 will get everything handed to her on a silver platter. 82 00:03:57,510 --> 00:03:59,678 I hope she chokes on europe. 83 00:04:02,865 --> 00:04:04,849 Well, miss howe shouldn't be mad at kelly. 84 00:04:04,917 --> 00:04:06,818 I mean, it's her dad's idea. 85 00:04:06,885 --> 00:04:08,820 He's just sendin' her away to hurt me. 86 00:04:08,887 --> 00:04:11,723 Oh, come on, woody. Probably doesn't have anything to do with you. 87 00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:14,326 He probably just wants to prove to his friends 88 00:04:14,393 --> 00:04:17,862 that he's rich enough to send his daughter to a fancy school in europe. 89 00:04:17,930 --> 00:04:19,448 Has it occurred to anyone 90 00:04:19,515 --> 00:04:22,301 that kelly might just want the best education money can buy? 91 00:04:22,368 --> 00:04:23,852 Well, that could be, dr. Crane, 92 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,487 but i think he's sendin' her to europe 93 00:04:25,554 --> 00:04:27,105 to get her away from me. 94 00:04:27,173 --> 00:04:28,423 Why do you think that? 95 00:04:28,491 --> 00:04:29,891 Because he told me so. 96 00:04:33,646 --> 00:04:35,079 Afternoon, everybody. 97 00:04:35,147 --> 00:04:36,631 (All) norm! 98 00:04:36,699 --> 00:04:38,633 Nice cold beer coming up, mr. Peterson. 99 00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:41,620 You mean, nice cold beer going down mr. Peterson. 100 00:04:41,688 --> 00:04:43,655 Wait a minute. Not so fast. 101 00:04:43,722 --> 00:04:46,358 What? It's time for us to pick our designated driver 102 00:04:46,425 --> 00:04:47,826 for the night. [Norm groaning] 103 00:04:47,894 --> 00:04:49,894 ok, you all know the rules. 104 00:04:49,962 --> 00:04:52,381 Write your names down on a slip of paper. 105 00:04:52,448 --> 00:04:56,318 Uh, you know, i understand you can, uh, tell a lot about a person 106 00:04:56,385 --> 00:04:57,785 by analyzing their signature. 107 00:04:57,853 --> 00:04:59,571 You ever-- you ever, uh, get into that, doc? 108 00:04:59,639 --> 00:05:00,905 Oh, come on. 109 00:05:00,973 --> 00:05:02,341 I'm a trained psychiatrist, 110 00:05:02,408 --> 00:05:04,609 not some fortune-teller in a cheap carnival tent. 111 00:05:04,677 --> 00:05:06,060 Yeah, well, that's too bad. 112 00:05:06,128 --> 00:05:09,364 I always, uh, wondered what my signature said about me. 113 00:05:09,432 --> 00:05:10,432 Mother of god! 114 00:05:12,468 --> 00:05:13,468 What? 115 00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:19,741 And the lucky loser is... 116 00:05:23,396 --> 00:05:24,663 yeesh! 117 00:05:24,731 --> 00:05:25,930 Cliff clavin. 118 00:05:27,583 --> 00:05:29,217 You all get to ride shotgun 119 00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,052 in a brand-new postal vehicle. 120 00:05:32,388 --> 00:05:33,421 Oh, great. 121 00:05:33,489 --> 00:05:34,790 We'll all have a ride, 122 00:05:34,857 --> 00:05:36,658 but we'll all go to the wrong address. 123 00:05:39,345 --> 00:05:40,945 That better be the beer talking. 124 00:05:43,365 --> 00:05:45,784 Well, cliffie, i guess that's just the luck of the draw, huh? 125 00:05:45,918 --> 00:05:47,502 Speaking of draw, sammy-- wait a minute, 126 00:05:47,569 --> 00:05:48,603 what's this? What? 127 00:05:48,755 --> 00:05:51,123 What? Give me that. No! Wait a minute. 128 00:05:51,190 --> 00:05:53,358 This says "norm peterson." 129 00:05:53,426 --> 00:05:56,311 [All groaning] hey, wait a minute! 130 00:05:56,378 --> 00:05:58,479 You didn't put this in the hat! 131 00:05:58,547 --> 00:06:00,064 Oh, it's supposed to go in the hat? 132 00:06:00,132 --> 00:06:01,233 [All groaning] 133 00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:02,801 come on. 134 00:06:02,868 --> 00:06:04,102 Look, how many times have you done this? 135 00:06:04,170 --> 00:06:06,405 Well, i'm embarrassed to say this is my very first time. 136 00:06:06,472 --> 00:06:08,273 This is the first time you cheated? 137 00:06:08,341 --> 00:06:11,276 Oh, i thought you meant getting caught. 138 00:06:11,344 --> 00:06:14,946 All right. Thanks to your good buddy, norm peterson, 139 00:06:15,014 --> 00:06:17,682 the first drawing is null and void. 140 00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:18,833 Ok, everybody. 141 00:06:18,901 --> 00:06:21,102 Once again, names in the hat. 142 00:06:21,170 --> 00:06:22,153 (Carla) come on. 143 00:06:22,221 --> 00:06:24,239 I'm watching you, peterson. 144 00:06:24,306 --> 00:06:25,724 Don't watch me, carla. 145 00:06:25,792 --> 00:06:27,341 What, you think i like it? 146 00:06:33,249 --> 00:06:34,249 All right. 147 00:06:35,851 --> 00:06:37,385 And the lucky loser is... 148 00:06:39,221 --> 00:06:40,855 norm peterson. 149 00:06:40,923 --> 00:06:42,623 [All exclaiming] well, well, well. 150 00:06:42,691 --> 00:06:45,727 Great. Great. First time i enter this damn thing. 151 00:06:45,794 --> 00:06:47,562 You couldn't pick "norm peterson" 152 00:06:47,630 --> 00:06:49,764 or "norm peterson"? 153 00:06:49,832 --> 00:06:52,200 [Mumbling] 154 00:06:52,268 --> 00:06:54,836 well, "frasier crane." At least one person here is honest. 155 00:06:54,904 --> 00:06:56,554 I beg your pardon. I wrote "norm peterson." 156 00:07:00,559 --> 00:07:02,093 I guess you're right. I wrote that. 157 00:07:06,198 --> 00:07:07,832 Hi, woody. 158 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:10,719 Oh, hey, kelly. I didn't expect to see you here. 159 00:07:10,787 --> 00:07:13,622 Oh, woody, i'm leaving for europe first thing in the morning, 160 00:07:13,689 --> 00:07:16,925 and i wanted to spend every single free minute of the time i have left 161 00:07:16,992 --> 00:07:18,226 with you. 162 00:07:18,228 --> 00:07:19,827 That's a great idea. 163 00:07:19,895 --> 00:07:22,213 But first, i have to get my hair done. 164 00:07:22,281 --> 00:07:24,082 Oh, then i have to get my shots, 165 00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:26,417 and i have to buy a new bathing suit. 166 00:07:26,485 --> 00:07:28,953 Oh, and i haven't even started packing. 167 00:07:29,021 --> 00:07:30,555 So what are you saying, kelly? 168 00:07:31,073 --> 00:07:32,224 I guess, bye. 169 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,746 Well, at least we had this time together. 170 00:07:37,830 --> 00:07:40,665 Oh, listen, before you go, there's somethin' i want to give you. 171 00:07:42,235 --> 00:07:43,351 This 172 00:07:44,887 --> 00:07:46,554 is a promise ring. 173 00:07:46,622 --> 00:07:47,888 By giving you this ring, 174 00:07:47,956 --> 00:07:49,741 i'm makin' a promise that someday 175 00:07:49,808 --> 00:07:52,260 i'm gonna be giving you an engagement ring. 176 00:07:52,328 --> 00:07:55,347 Oh, woody, that's beautiful. 177 00:07:55,414 --> 00:07:57,649 Yeah, well, it's been in my family for years. 178 00:07:57,717 --> 00:07:59,600 My dad gave it to some chick on guam. 179 00:08:03,372 --> 00:08:05,957 That--that was before he met my mom. 180 00:08:06,025 --> 00:08:08,376 Oh. Woody, i'll never take it off. 181 00:08:08,443 --> 00:08:09,711 Yeah. 182 00:08:09,778 --> 00:08:12,480 But why are you giving this to me right now? 183 00:08:12,548 --> 00:08:14,365 Oh, well, i'm on a break right now. 184 00:08:16,518 --> 00:08:18,536 Not since myrna loy and william powell 185 00:08:18,604 --> 00:08:20,538 have i heard such a rich collection of witticisms 186 00:08:20,606 --> 00:08:22,307 exchanged in such a pithy manner. 187 00:08:23,576 --> 00:08:25,109 Was that, that, uh, drunk couple 188 00:08:25,177 --> 00:08:27,095 who was always fighting in the pool room there? 189 00:08:27,097 --> 00:08:28,346 No. Those were the lunts. 190 00:08:30,299 --> 00:08:31,799 Well, i'm--i'm givin' this to you 191 00:08:31,867 --> 00:08:33,301 because you're gonna be in europe, 192 00:08:33,369 --> 00:08:36,271 and you're gonna be meetin' all those rich dukes and earls 193 00:08:36,339 --> 00:08:38,673 and counts and basies and stuff, you know. 194 00:08:40,876 --> 00:08:42,843 Woody, you have nothing to worry about. 195 00:08:42,911 --> 00:08:44,011 I love you. 196 00:08:44,079 --> 00:08:45,480 [Chuckling] 197 00:08:45,548 --> 00:08:47,732 and besides, i'll probably be so busy with my studies 198 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,084 that i won't have time for anything else. 199 00:08:50,152 --> 00:08:52,186 Really? Wh-what are you studying? 200 00:08:52,638 --> 00:08:54,956 French, economics, 201 00:08:55,023 --> 00:08:57,024 and nude male figure drawing. 202 00:09:00,913 --> 00:09:02,596 Well, that ought to keep you real busy. 203 00:09:04,433 --> 00:09:06,651 Yo, peterson. I need a ride. 204 00:09:08,187 --> 00:09:09,670 What, you going home already? 205 00:09:09,738 --> 00:09:11,739 No, down to the corner so i can buy a pack of gum. 206 00:09:12,842 --> 00:09:14,058 Gum? 207 00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:15,493 Norm. (Norm) what? 208 00:09:15,561 --> 00:09:19,697 This is your duty. Now finish your shirley temple and drive him. 209 00:09:19,765 --> 00:09:22,567 All right, all right. I'll drive you to get some gum. 210 00:09:22,635 --> 00:09:24,653 Hey, i know, after we get the gum, 211 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,555 why don't i take you on a tour of the freedom trail? 212 00:09:27,622 --> 00:09:28,957 Can we pick up my kid? 213 00:09:29,024 --> 00:09:30,124 I was joking. 214 00:09:30,192 --> 00:09:31,525 He'll be heartbroken. 215 00:09:34,313 --> 00:09:35,946 Well, woody, 216 00:09:36,014 --> 00:09:38,783 i kind of wish i didn't have to go all the way to europe right now, 217 00:09:38,850 --> 00:09:40,418 what with us getting so close and everything. 218 00:09:40,486 --> 00:09:41,552 Mmm. 219 00:09:41,621 --> 00:09:43,354 Daddy really wants me to go, and, 220 00:09:43,422 --> 00:09:44,656 well, you know how he is. 221 00:09:45,658 --> 00:09:47,458 Do i ever. 222 00:09:47,526 --> 00:09:49,043 What's that supposed to mean? 223 00:09:50,345 --> 00:09:52,647 Nothing. I--i just know how he is. 224 00:09:53,299 --> 00:09:54,950 What do you mean by "is"? 225 00:09:55,918 --> 00:09:57,752 Well, he can be sort of... 226 00:09:58,454 --> 00:10:00,255 you know. 227 00:10:00,322 --> 00:10:02,139 What do you mean by "you know"? 228 00:10:03,325 --> 00:10:04,742 Same thing as "is." 229 00:10:06,779 --> 00:10:08,313 Hey. 230 00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:10,431 Are you putting down daddy? 231 00:10:10,499 --> 00:10:12,467 I'm not putting down daddy. 232 00:10:12,535 --> 00:10:14,302 Don't call him "daddy." 233 00:10:14,369 --> 00:10:17,055 He's not your daddy, he's my daddy. 234 00:10:17,122 --> 00:10:18,756 Well, it's a good thing, 235 00:10:18,824 --> 00:10:20,558 because my daddy doesn't treat me like a baby. 236 00:10:20,693 --> 00:10:21,543 [Exclaiming] 237 00:10:21,610 --> 00:10:24,045 woody boyd, what an awful thing to say. 238 00:10:25,147 --> 00:10:27,832 I'm sorry, kelly. I take it back. 239 00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:30,234 Well, you can take this back, too. 240 00:10:30,302 --> 00:10:32,136 I can't take this back. 241 00:10:32,204 --> 00:10:33,237 I don't even have a receipt. 242 00:10:36,142 --> 00:10:38,843 Well, then, i guess you'll just have to find the person who has it 243 00:10:38,911 --> 00:10:40,045 and give it back to them, 244 00:10:40,112 --> 00:10:42,080 so they can return it and get credit. 245 00:10:44,116 --> 00:10:45,699 What's that supposed to mean? 246 00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:47,051 You know what it means. 247 00:10:47,119 --> 00:10:48,219 No, really. What does it mean? 248 00:10:48,287 --> 00:10:50,521 Stop it, woody. You can't make up now. 249 00:10:52,207 --> 00:10:54,309 No, really. Can anybody tell me what it means? 250 00:11:03,319 --> 00:11:04,536 Evening, everybody. 251 00:11:04,604 --> 00:11:06,637 (All) norm! 252 00:11:06,705 --> 00:11:07,906 What are you knowin' there, norm? 253 00:11:07,973 --> 00:11:10,141 How to sit, how to drink. 254 00:11:10,209 --> 00:11:11,309 Wanna quiz me? 255 00:11:12,377 --> 00:11:13,528 Here you go, big fella. 256 00:11:14,747 --> 00:11:15,697 Sorry. 257 00:11:17,316 --> 00:11:18,766 No suds tonight, norm. 258 00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:21,636 You are still our designated driver, remember? 259 00:11:21,704 --> 00:11:24,055 I know that. You know that. 260 00:11:24,123 --> 00:11:26,391 Did you have to call every bar in town and tell them? 261 00:11:28,828 --> 00:11:30,295 Hey, norm, can i get a lift home? 262 00:11:31,664 --> 00:11:33,715 All right. 263 00:11:33,782 --> 00:11:37,335 Hey, woody, you gonna have to get your mind off your problems with kelly. 264 00:11:37,403 --> 00:11:39,437 Is it that obvious, sam? 265 00:11:39,504 --> 00:11:40,938 Well, you're peeling your thumb. 266 00:11:42,591 --> 00:11:45,160 Thank god you told me before i put it in someone's drink. 267 00:11:48,697 --> 00:11:50,632 I just can't think straight, sam. 268 00:11:50,699 --> 00:11:52,634 I've really blown it with kelly. 269 00:11:52,701 --> 00:11:54,135 Now she's gonna go off 270 00:11:54,203 --> 00:11:56,103 and marry one of those worldly european guys for sure. 271 00:11:56,122 --> 00:11:58,389 Woody, nothing like that's gonna happen. 272 00:11:58,391 --> 00:11:59,607 Really, miss howe? 273 00:11:59,674 --> 00:12:01,075 No, woody. 274 00:12:01,143 --> 00:12:02,944 Those wealthy european royals are not good enough 275 00:12:03,011 --> 00:12:05,330 for princess button-nose and her daddy. 276 00:12:07,132 --> 00:12:09,901 So, becks, what's this thing you have against rich people? 277 00:12:09,969 --> 00:12:13,137 I mean, you're dating a rich guy, and you want to be rich yourself, right? 278 00:12:13,205 --> 00:12:14,756 Yes. 279 00:12:14,824 --> 00:12:17,809 And when i am rich, i will stop hating rich people, 280 00:12:17,876 --> 00:12:19,276 and start hating poor people. 281 00:12:20,312 --> 00:12:21,412 It's the american way. 282 00:12:29,021 --> 00:12:30,554 I can't believe it's over. 283 00:12:30,623 --> 00:12:32,256 I can't believe she's leavin' me. 284 00:12:32,324 --> 00:12:34,358 Oh, come on. What are you talking like that for? 285 00:12:34,426 --> 00:12:36,611 You gonna give up after one little spat? 286 00:12:37,195 --> 00:12:38,796 What else can i do? 287 00:12:38,864 --> 00:12:41,666 Well, you--you can run to her, hold her in your arms, 288 00:12:41,734 --> 00:12:43,000 and tell her that you love her. 289 00:12:43,068 --> 00:12:45,236 Come on, man. 290 00:12:45,304 --> 00:12:47,288 That's a great idea. Yeah. 291 00:12:47,356 --> 00:12:49,040 Yeah, that's exactly what i'm gonna do. 292 00:12:49,108 --> 00:12:51,376 (Woody) see you guys later. Where are you going, wood? 293 00:12:51,444 --> 00:12:53,160 Sam wants me to elope. 294 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,246 No! 295 00:13:06,338 --> 00:13:08,589 Woody, woody, i didn't say anything about eloping. 296 00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:11,392 I didn't mean that. I just meant you should go over to her place 297 00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:13,760 and maybe make out a little bit. 298 00:13:13,828 --> 00:13:16,330 Well, yeah. And to do that, we gotta get married, right? 299 00:13:16,398 --> 00:13:17,564 Kids today. 300 00:13:19,268 --> 00:13:20,718 Woody-- excuse me. I'll handle this. 301 00:13:20,786 --> 00:13:23,304 Woody, listen to me. 302 00:13:23,371 --> 00:13:27,174 I once was deeply in love with a boy that my parents did not approve of, 303 00:13:27,242 --> 00:13:30,377 and i thought about eloping. 304 00:13:30,445 --> 00:13:33,247 But fortunately, i came to my senses. 305 00:13:33,315 --> 00:13:35,449 I mean, can you imagine what would have happened to me 306 00:13:35,517 --> 00:13:37,001 if i had married him? 307 00:13:37,068 --> 00:13:38,719 Yeah, maybe you'd be happy now, 308 00:13:38,786 --> 00:13:41,322 instead of whining and being dumped on your whole life. 309 00:13:44,726 --> 00:13:46,226 Go get her, woody. 310 00:13:46,294 --> 00:13:47,478 No, no, no, no, no! 311 00:13:47,546 --> 00:13:49,880 Woody, woody, come on. Stop, here, kid. 312 00:13:49,948 --> 00:13:51,181 Think a little bit. 313 00:13:51,249 --> 00:13:53,434 No, sam. That's all i've done my whole life, 314 00:13:53,502 --> 00:13:55,419 is think, think, think. 315 00:13:55,487 --> 00:13:57,655 There comes a time when you gotta stop thinking. 316 00:13:57,722 --> 00:14:00,324 You taught me that, sam. 317 00:14:00,326 --> 00:14:03,344 Well, i--i just want you to be sure, man. That's all. 318 00:14:03,411 --> 00:14:06,013 Sam, i am sure. I love kelly. 319 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,365 I'm willing to risk everything 320 00:14:07,432 --> 00:14:09,784 to make her mrs. Woodrow tiberius boyd. 321 00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:13,454 Tiberius? 322 00:14:13,521 --> 00:14:15,489 You never told us that was your middle name. 323 00:14:16,942 --> 00:14:18,609 Yeah, right. I never told kelly, either. 324 00:14:18,677 --> 00:14:20,845 Maybe i'd better just forget this whole thing. 325 00:14:20,912 --> 00:14:22,029 (Sam) hey. 326 00:14:22,097 --> 00:14:24,682 Hey, bro, come on. No, no, no, wait a minute. 327 00:14:24,749 --> 00:14:26,316 Now, i-i-i've accepted the fact 328 00:14:26,384 --> 00:14:28,485 that her middle name is susan. 329 00:14:31,105 --> 00:14:32,990 I'm gonna go for it. 330 00:14:33,024 --> 00:14:36,543 Oh, hey, sam, would you come with me? 331 00:14:36,611 --> 00:14:38,479 I mean, you're kind of like a big brother to me, 332 00:14:38,547 --> 00:14:40,614 and i don't think i could take a big step like this 333 00:14:40,682 --> 00:14:42,249 without you there to support me. 334 00:14:42,317 --> 00:14:44,968 Ah. Well, thanks, woody. I'm--i'm very touched. 335 00:14:45,036 --> 00:14:46,269 Yeah. 336 00:14:46,338 --> 00:14:48,238 I need someone strong to hold the ladder. 337 00:14:49,574 --> 00:14:50,907 Thanks, woody. I'm very touched. 338 00:14:56,331 --> 00:14:57,814 [Speaking quietly] that's not her room, either. 339 00:14:57,883 --> 00:14:59,516 Well, what took you so long up there? 340 00:14:59,584 --> 00:15:01,485 Ghostbusters was on t.V. 341 00:15:01,553 --> 00:15:03,120 I love that movie. Oh, yeah. 342 00:15:03,188 --> 00:15:05,222 It's criminal the way it got snubbed by the oscars that year. 343 00:15:05,290 --> 00:15:07,358 Yeah, it still ticks me off. 344 00:15:07,425 --> 00:15:08,692 Let's try over here. 345 00:15:16,267 --> 00:15:17,418 Evening, everybody. 346 00:15:17,486 --> 00:15:18,319 Norm! 347 00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:24,641 Guess i drove everyone else home, huh? 348 00:15:24,709 --> 00:15:26,043 That's right. 349 00:15:26,111 --> 00:15:28,379 You know, norm, i'm proud of you. 350 00:15:28,446 --> 00:15:30,281 I rode you pretty hard for cheating, 351 00:15:30,348 --> 00:15:31,932 but you really came through. 352 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,250 [Sighing] well, thank you. 353 00:15:33,318 --> 00:15:34,685 Now can i have a beer? 354 00:15:35,019 --> 00:15:36,136 Nope, we're closed. 355 00:15:39,957 --> 00:15:44,027 All right. I guess i deserved that, cheatin' the way i did. 356 00:15:44,095 --> 00:15:47,130 Tonight actually turned out to be a pretty rewarding experience. 357 00:15:47,198 --> 00:15:48,565 What are you telling me, 358 00:15:48,633 --> 00:15:50,401 you liked cartin' those guys all over town? 359 00:15:50,468 --> 00:15:52,035 No, i didn't cart 'em all over town. 360 00:15:52,103 --> 00:15:54,037 I just dropped them all off at your place. 361 00:15:56,574 --> 00:15:57,741 Great. 362 00:15:57,809 --> 00:16:00,711 I finally get my kids to stop rolling drunks, 363 00:16:00,779 --> 00:16:03,580 and now you have to go and put temptation in their path. 364 00:16:03,648 --> 00:16:04,948 I am telling you, 365 00:16:05,016 --> 00:16:07,250 it is impossible to raise a family in the '90s. 366 00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:12,807 Ok. 367 00:16:12,874 --> 00:16:14,942 Something cold and german, perhaps? 368 00:16:21,449 --> 00:16:22,749 [Whispering] good news, woody. 369 00:16:22,817 --> 00:16:24,584 [Whispering] all right. You finally found kelly's bedroom? 370 00:16:24,652 --> 00:16:27,037 No, i just met the cutest little chambermaid. 371 00:16:27,105 --> 00:16:29,289 She was makin' popcorn. You want some? 372 00:16:29,357 --> 00:16:30,757 Sam, how can you think of popcorn 373 00:16:30,825 --> 00:16:32,826 when my life and happiness are at stake? 374 00:16:32,894 --> 00:16:33,960 It's cheddar. 375 00:16:34,029 --> 00:16:35,496 Ooh, gimme. 376 00:16:35,563 --> 00:16:36,596 Thank you. 377 00:16:43,505 --> 00:16:45,239 (Sam) ouch! Oh, sorry, sam. 378 00:16:47,775 --> 00:16:50,377 Yeah. This is kelly's room, all right, sam. 379 00:16:50,445 --> 00:16:52,312 [Gargling] how can you tell? 380 00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:53,580 That's her gargle. 381 00:17:01,006 --> 00:17:03,824 Woody, sam, what are you doing here? 382 00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:06,594 Kelly, i wanna marry you. 383 00:17:06,661 --> 00:17:08,162 I wanna elope with you right now. 384 00:17:08,229 --> 00:17:09,779 You mean everything in the world to me, 385 00:17:09,847 --> 00:17:11,548 and nothin' is gonna stop me-- 386 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,502 hey, you do have over 1,000 barbie dolls. 387 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,755 I thought you were just braggin'. 388 00:17:20,425 --> 00:17:23,327 Woody, i just can't run off and marry you at the drop of a hat. 389 00:17:24,178 --> 00:17:25,996 Boy, this is a great little comb. 390 00:17:26,064 --> 00:17:29,266 Teeth aren't too wide, nice flexibility, good heft. 391 00:17:29,334 --> 00:17:31,668 I've been looking for one of these for my eyebrows. 392 00:17:34,172 --> 00:17:35,539 That one's for blondes. 393 00:17:35,606 --> 00:17:36,957 For-- 394 00:17:37,024 --> 00:17:38,892 [chuckling] jeez, you are rich. 395 00:17:41,312 --> 00:17:43,163 You know, it--it's not right for you to be here. 396 00:17:43,231 --> 00:17:45,115 You shouldn't even be seeing me like this. 397 00:17:45,183 --> 00:17:46,383 I'm not decent. 398 00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:48,018 Well, it's all right, kelly. I didn't look. 399 00:17:48,970 --> 00:17:50,370 Yeah, i did, sam. 400 00:17:54,158 --> 00:17:55,526 Kelly, i wanna say somethin'. 401 00:17:57,228 --> 00:17:58,495 I'm not just gonna stand still 402 00:17:58,563 --> 00:18:00,664 while you run off to europe. 403 00:18:00,732 --> 00:18:01,798 I love you, kelly, 404 00:18:01,866 --> 00:18:04,801 and i wanna make you mrs. Woodrow tiberius boyd. 405 00:18:06,121 --> 00:18:07,188 Tiberius? 406 00:18:07,756 --> 00:18:09,690 Susan! 407 00:18:09,757 --> 00:18:13,143 Hey, hey, hey, whoa. Kids, kids, calm down! 408 00:18:13,211 --> 00:18:16,747 Why is everybody making such a big fuss about their middle name? 409 00:18:16,815 --> 00:18:18,231 What's yours, sam? Hey, shut up. 410 00:18:20,384 --> 00:18:22,086 The point-- sit down here. 411 00:18:22,153 --> 00:18:25,556 The point is that you should be sharing with each other how you feel. 412 00:18:25,623 --> 00:18:27,023 Names don't matter. 413 00:18:27,092 --> 00:18:29,359 I'm not saying that you should get married, but-- 414 00:18:29,427 --> 00:18:33,497 no, no. Let's get married. Oh, that'll be a blast. 415 00:18:33,565 --> 00:18:35,566 Well, whether you get married or not, 416 00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:37,901 what's important is to share how you feel. 417 00:18:37,969 --> 00:18:40,737 How you feel about him, how he feels about you. 418 00:18:40,805 --> 00:18:42,506 Woody, i know he's your friend and all-- 419 00:18:42,573 --> 00:18:43,791 beat it, sam. 420 00:18:48,713 --> 00:18:52,115 Boy, g.I. Joe should come here on leave someday. 421 00:18:59,857 --> 00:19:01,959 Kelly, you mean everything in the world to me. 422 00:19:02,026 --> 00:19:04,661 And i want you to know that someday i'm gonna give you back 423 00:19:04,729 --> 00:19:07,297 everything you've given up by marrying me. 424 00:19:07,364 --> 00:19:10,717 Oh, woody, i don't need all those things. 425 00:19:10,785 --> 00:19:15,138 I'd live in a cold-water flat in the seediest part of town to be with you. 426 00:19:15,206 --> 00:19:17,741 Then have i got a surprise honeymoon suite for you. 427 00:19:18,643 --> 00:19:19,976 Well, let's go. 428 00:19:20,044 --> 00:19:21,478 Look, i'm all packed for europe, 429 00:19:21,545 --> 00:19:24,014 so all i have to do is take out my passport and voltage changer, 430 00:19:24,082 --> 00:19:25,415 and we're all set. 431 00:19:25,483 --> 00:19:26,817 (Mr. Gaines) kelly. Kelly, dear. 432 00:19:26,884 --> 00:19:27,968 Oh, no. 433 00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:30,404 Woody, quick. In the closet. 434 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,274 (Woody) wow. 435 00:19:33,341 --> 00:19:35,475 What are all these barbie legs doing here? 436 00:19:35,543 --> 00:19:37,027 Sometimes i get mad. 437 00:19:42,284 --> 00:19:43,817 [Knocking on door] 438 00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:44,918 come in, daddy. 439 00:19:47,738 --> 00:19:50,124 Ah, honey. 440 00:19:50,191 --> 00:19:52,776 So, my little kelly-belle is leaving me. 441 00:19:52,844 --> 00:19:54,228 [Chuckling] leaving you? 442 00:19:54,345 --> 00:19:56,046 Why do you say that, daddy? 443 00:19:56,113 --> 00:19:57,314 I'm not going away. 444 00:19:57,432 --> 00:19:58,965 Well, you're going off to europe. 445 00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:00,467 Oh, there. 446 00:20:00,535 --> 00:20:02,869 Yeah, well, i don't think of that as away. 447 00:20:06,057 --> 00:20:07,858 Look at you now. 448 00:20:07,926 --> 00:20:10,444 All grown-up and beautiful. 449 00:20:10,511 --> 00:20:13,447 I can't help but think of a little, towheaded butterball 450 00:20:13,514 --> 00:20:15,249 taking her first steps. 451 00:20:15,317 --> 00:20:17,017 Now i'm sending you off to see the world. 452 00:20:18,753 --> 00:20:22,256 And if, when you come back, 453 00:20:22,323 --> 00:20:23,723 you still want to be with woody, 454 00:20:23,792 --> 00:20:25,709 well, that'll be fine with me, 455 00:20:25,776 --> 00:20:28,462 'cause i'll know you're making a grown-up decision. 456 00:20:29,664 --> 00:20:31,699 But no matter how grown-up you get, 457 00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:35,485 you'll always be my only kelly, 458 00:20:35,803 --> 00:20:37,588 and i'll always be your only daddy 459 00:20:38,423 --> 00:20:39,690 till the day i die. 460 00:20:41,058 --> 00:20:42,359 Oh. [Chuckling] 461 00:20:45,647 --> 00:20:47,297 sweet dreams, sweetheart. 462 00:20:56,157 --> 00:20:57,307 [Door closing] 463 00:20:57,374 --> 00:20:58,875 ok, woody! Let's go! 464 00:21:01,412 --> 00:21:02,779 Woody? 465 00:21:02,847 --> 00:21:04,347 [Crying] i can't do it! 466 00:21:07,218 --> 00:21:09,485 God, he's your only daddy! 467 00:21:09,553 --> 00:21:11,188 I'm just some guy with a ladder! 468 00:21:13,991 --> 00:21:16,559 But, woody, what about us? 469 00:21:16,678 --> 00:21:19,596 I can't take away his little butter-headed towball. 470 00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:23,983 I think you should go to europe. 471 00:21:24,853 --> 00:21:26,270 Are you sure, woody? 472 00:21:26,337 --> 00:21:29,189 As sure as corn chiggers in august. 473 00:21:29,257 --> 00:21:31,191 Well, if--if that's what you want, woody, 474 00:21:31,259 --> 00:21:33,360 then i'll--i'll go to europe. 475 00:21:33,428 --> 00:21:37,064 But how will i know you'll still be here for me when i get back? 476 00:21:38,566 --> 00:21:40,400 Well, how 'bout this? 477 00:21:42,570 --> 00:21:45,205 We could get secretly engaged. 478 00:21:45,273 --> 00:21:48,375 Oh, yes, woody. That's a wonderful idea. 479 00:21:48,442 --> 00:21:50,193 I-it'll be our special secret. 480 00:21:50,261 --> 00:21:52,662 I'll be in europe, and you'll be here, 481 00:21:52,730 --> 00:21:55,749 and we'll have an unspoken bond across the ocean. 482 00:21:55,816 --> 00:21:58,118 Oh, that sounds swell. 483 00:21:58,186 --> 00:21:59,819 So you won't date any other guys 484 00:21:59,887 --> 00:22:01,555 while you're in europe? 485 00:22:01,622 --> 00:22:03,473 Well, woody, if i don't date any other guys, 486 00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:06,176 then people might suspect that i'm secretly engaged. 487 00:22:08,929 --> 00:22:10,797 Yeah, that's right, yeah. 488 00:22:10,865 --> 00:22:13,132 So i'll have to do the same thing back here in the states. 489 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,901 Except, of course, i'll date women. 490 00:22:16,821 --> 00:22:18,104 Right, woody. 491 00:22:18,172 --> 00:22:19,239 Yeah. 492 00:22:20,358 --> 00:22:22,092 Now wait a minute. You're-- 493 00:22:22,159 --> 00:22:24,127 you're not already secretly engaged to someone else, are you? 494 00:22:24,828 --> 00:22:26,012 No, 495 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:27,380 but even if i were, 496 00:22:27,448 --> 00:22:29,582 i couldn't tell you because it'd be a secret. 497 00:22:30,869 --> 00:22:32,552 Boy, i can trust you. 498 00:22:35,857 --> 00:22:38,358 And i know that you're gonna come back to me, 499 00:22:38,426 --> 00:22:41,812 and then we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together. 500 00:22:41,963 --> 00:22:44,431 So i just wanna hold this moment in my mind. 501 00:22:46,467 --> 00:22:48,635 I just wanna look at you one last time, 502 00:22:49,570 --> 00:22:50,904 then i'm gonna go. 503 00:22:56,227 --> 00:22:58,112 [Thudding] 504 00:22:58,179 --> 00:23:00,130 (woody) sam? Where's the ladder? 505 00:23:01,866 --> 00:23:03,100 Sam. 506 00:23:03,167 --> 00:23:04,584 Sam? 507 00:23:04,652 --> 00:23:06,236 ¶[Theme from ghostbusters playing] 508 00:23:06,304 --> 00:23:07,737 (man on t.V.) ¶ Who you gonna call? 509 00:23:07,805 --> 00:23:09,206 (Both) ¶ ghostbusters! 37545

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