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1
00:00:07,972 --> 00:00:09,172
Come on!
2
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:13,773
All: Wahey...!
3
00:00:13,813 --> 00:00:14,853
Oh, my god!
4
00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:17,813
Cool...
5
00:00:17,853 --> 00:00:20,013
Ugh. Isn't it great?
6
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:22,254
I always forget how much
I love the countryside.
7
00:00:22,294 --> 00:00:25,214
Ooh, keep an eye out
for birds, everyone. Mm.
8
00:00:25,254 --> 00:00:27,494
Well, keep an eye out
for the house, mainly.
9
00:00:27,534 --> 00:00:29,654
It's called the gables
and it's supposed to be
10
00:00:29,694 --> 00:00:31,494
on this road, apparently.
I don't know.
11
00:00:31,534 --> 00:00:34,135
Oh, ah! What was that house there?
Sam, was that the gables?
12
00:00:34,175 --> 00:00:35,215
The stables. Stables.
13
00:00:35,255 --> 00:00:37,255
Oh, well, we're close, sound-wise.
14
00:00:37,295 --> 00:00:40,855
Oh... yeah, I'm not sure that's
how it works, mum. It's not.
15
00:00:40,895 --> 00:00:43,175
Well, what number is the gables?
No...!
16
00:00:43,215 --> 00:00:46,136
They don't have numbers. No, that
would make life far too easy.
17
00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:50,016
No, no, they much prefer to give
their houses quaint little names.
18
00:00:50,056 --> 00:00:51,776
Branches scrape car
whoa, mum, look out.
19
00:00:51,816 --> 00:00:54,216
You're hitting the hedges.
Yes, but the road is too thin.
20
00:00:54,256 --> 00:00:55,937
Amy, can you help, please?
I'm on my phone.
21
00:00:55,977 --> 00:00:58,777
Yeah, well, could you stop being on
your phone and look for the gables?
22
00:00:58,817 --> 00:01:01,657
What are you talking about?
I don't know what gables look like.
23
00:01:01,697 --> 00:01:02,977
The sign! Look for the sign!
24
00:01:03,017 --> 00:01:04,417
Mum, it's there! Stop!
25
00:01:04,457 --> 00:01:06,018
Look, back there. The gables!
26
00:01:06,058 --> 00:01:08,618
Yes, well done, sue! Well done, mum.
Well done. Nice one, gran.
27
00:01:08,658 --> 00:01:10,898
I spotted it first, but... sue!
Turn her around, babe.
28
00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:13,538
Yep, turn around up here... as han
solo: Turn her around, Chewie.
29
00:01:13,578 --> 00:01:14,618
Normal: Chewbacca.
30
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:17,195
Turn her around, babe. You've got
to reverse her. Stop doing that.
31
00:01:17,219 --> 00:01:19,859
I know I've got to turn around.
You could've turned there.
32
00:01:19,899 --> 00:01:21,779
How could a road be this narrow
for this long?
33
00:01:21,819 --> 00:01:24,195
Missed a... I take it back -
I absolutely hate the countryside.
34
00:01:24,219 --> 00:01:26,659
You keep missing laybys.
I hate it!
35
00:01:26,699 --> 00:01:29,660
But why? What do you need
a screwdriver for?
36
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,940
None of your business.
37
00:01:31,980 --> 00:01:34,700
I mean... well, do you want
a flathead or Philips?
38
00:01:34,740 --> 00:01:37,581
Philip's? Who's...? No, I want...
I want your one. No, no.
39
00:01:37,621 --> 00:01:39,701
They're different types
of screwdriver.
40
00:01:39,741 --> 00:01:41,301
Doorbell rings
41
00:01:41,341 --> 00:01:43,621
doorbell! Yes, we know.
We have a doorbell.
42
00:01:43,661 --> 00:01:45,501
You don't need to shout
"doorbell", as well.
43
00:01:45,541 --> 00:01:47,541
I do if no-one answers it.
44
00:01:47,581 --> 00:01:48,982
Sam: I'll get it.
45
00:01:49,022 --> 00:01:50,862
Just tell me what... no.
46
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,862
What are you trying to screw?
47
00:01:52,902 --> 00:01:55,342
She wants to put a lock on
her bedroom door. Maya!
48
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:57,542
What? No. Absolutely not. Uh, why?
49
00:01:57,582 --> 00:01:59,103
Cheers. Just no!
50
00:01:59,143 --> 00:02:00,823
Mum, the foxes have been again.
51
00:02:00,863 --> 00:02:02,983
Oh, god! Oh, god. Really?
52
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:06,623
I mean, how?
How do they keep opening that bin?
53
00:02:06,663 --> 00:02:09,103
I struggle to work it out
most of the time.
54
00:02:09,143 --> 00:02:11,264
They haven't eaten much
of your Kale pie, mum.
55
00:02:11,304 --> 00:02:12,984
Well, neither did we, to be fair.
56
00:02:13,024 --> 00:02:15,344
Sue: Anyone like a coke float?
57
00:02:15,384 --> 00:02:16,984
A coke float? No, thanks.
58
00:02:17,024 --> 00:02:19,184
Mum, it's 8:45 in the morning.
59
00:02:19,224 --> 00:02:20,825
Is that a no?
60
00:02:20,865 --> 00:02:23,265
No, I mean, I will have one.
61
00:02:23,305 --> 00:02:25,665
Look, dad, please...
Where are you going to put it, mum?
62
00:02:25,705 --> 00:02:27,305
Well, back in the food bin,
I imagine,
63
00:02:27,345 --> 00:02:28,945
for the foxes to take out again
64
00:02:28,985 --> 00:02:32,226
and so the cycle goes on forever.
65
00:02:32,266 --> 00:02:34,386
Oh, is that a sausage or a shit?
66
00:02:35,826 --> 00:02:37,226
I'll get the marigolds.
67
00:02:37,266 --> 00:02:39,746
Rachel, can you please tell Amy
that she's not having a lock
68
00:02:39,786 --> 00:02:41,786
on her bedroom door?
Ugh! Why not-uh?
69
00:02:41,826 --> 00:02:43,227
Because-uh!
70
00:02:43,267 --> 00:02:44,747
We don't have a lock on our door.
71
00:02:44,787 --> 00:02:46,467
Yeah, well, we don't need one.
Exactly.
72
00:02:46,507 --> 00:02:48,667
What-what do you mean by that?
No, no, I didn't...
73
00:02:48,707 --> 00:02:50,147
Oh. I don't mean... no, nothing.
74
00:02:50,187 --> 00:02:53,188
Please! I keep having to push
my harp against the door.
75
00:02:53,228 --> 00:02:55,228
Well... there you go, Paul.
76
00:02:55,268 --> 00:02:57,708
Perhaps if you actually tried
playing your harp,
77
00:02:57,748 --> 00:03:00,548
instead of using it as a
really expensive doorstop!
78
00:03:00,588 --> 00:03:01,868
Thank you, mum.
79
00:03:01,908 --> 00:03:04,149
And Maya's here, like,
every weekend. Yes, yes.
80
00:03:04,189 --> 00:03:06,629
And I'm worried it's going to
affect her course. Oh, no.
81
00:03:06,669 --> 00:03:08,269
I mean, it helps me, if anything.
82
00:03:08,309 --> 00:03:10,509
I've kind of got this sort
of stalker in swansea
83
00:03:10,549 --> 00:03:12,269
called jav that I'm trying to avoid.
84
00:03:12,309 --> 00:03:14,309
Look, let's just vote on it,
at least.
85
00:03:14,349 --> 00:03:15,750
Fine. Sam, come on.
86
00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:18,350
You want a lock on your
bedroom door, right? Uh...
87
00:03:18,390 --> 00:03:19,750
No, you know what? I'm all right.
88
00:03:19,790 --> 00:03:21,550
Aha-ha! Oh, bloody hell, Sam.
89
00:03:21,590 --> 00:03:23,070
Thank you very much, Sam.
90
00:03:23,110 --> 00:03:24,790
Phone buzzes
it is finally settled.
91
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,071
Maya: Aw, bless.
92
00:03:26,111 --> 00:03:27,991
Well, you will Sam. Soon.
93
00:03:28,031 --> 00:03:30,191
What? Oh, Robin's asking if
he can borrow big Bertha.
94
00:03:30,231 --> 00:03:31,711
Oh...
95
00:03:31,751 --> 00:03:34,391
Well, he'll have to go up into
the loft to get it himself.
96
00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:36,072
There's that wasps' nest up there.
97
00:03:36,112 --> 00:03:37,432
I mean, what is going on?
98
00:03:37,472 --> 00:03:39,512
I thought all animal life was
about to go extinct
99
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,432
and yet, somehow, we're infested
with wasps and foxes.
100
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:45,112
Oh, honestly, bring back
fox hunting, I say.
101
00:03:45,152 --> 00:03:47,073
Let the poshos sort them out -
102
00:03:47,113 --> 00:03:49,233
make themselves useful for once.
103
00:03:49,273 --> 00:03:51,833
That's a good idea, actually.
Who was that at the door?
104
00:03:51,873 --> 00:03:54,473
No-one. It was just someone
delivering a parcel for dad.
105
00:03:54,513 --> 00:03:56,833
Ooh! Fabbo.
Oh, really, what is it?
106
00:03:56,873 --> 00:03:59,634
Oh? Mm, that's exciting.
107
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:01,554
Hang on.
108
00:04:01,594 --> 00:04:03,394
What day is it? Erm...
109
00:04:03,434 --> 00:04:05,114
15th. Why? Oh, god.
110
00:04:05,154 --> 00:04:07,074
Oh. What?
It's from him, isn't it?
111
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,715
What? Him? Who's him?
112
00:04:08,755 --> 00:04:11,915
Uh, ray, one of dad's old
archery team-mates.
113
00:04:11,955 --> 00:04:13,955
Sue: How nice of him
to send you something.
114
00:04:13,995 --> 00:04:15,795
It actually isn't.
115
00:04:15,835 --> 00:04:17,595
Every August he does this,
116
00:04:17,635 --> 00:04:21,796
on the anniversary of team gb
finishing fourth in Athens.
117
00:04:21,836 --> 00:04:23,636
Unbelievable.
118
00:04:23,676 --> 00:04:27,116
"Bronzeless in bedford. Thinking of
you at this most tragic time."
119
00:04:27,156 --> 00:04:30,077
Yeah, he went on to win a bronze in
Beijing four years later, you see?
120
00:04:30,117 --> 00:04:31,957
Yeah, and he took my spot -
121
00:04:31,997 --> 00:04:34,797
and every year he has to bloody
well rub my face in it.
122
00:04:34,837 --> 00:04:37,197
Is ray the one that looks like you?
123
00:04:37,237 --> 00:04:38,837
Yeah, yeah. No.
124
00:04:38,877 --> 00:04:40,117
No? No.
125
00:04:40,157 --> 00:04:42,918
No, he's the one, erm,
who Rachel, you know...?
126
00:04:42,958 --> 00:04:45,798
Yeah, all right.
What? You know what?
127
00:04:45,838 --> 00:04:48,118
We went out, very briefly,
a long time ago,
128
00:04:48,158 --> 00:04:50,358
before me and your father
got together.
129
00:04:50,398 --> 00:04:52,239
Wow. And you dumped him for dad?
130
00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:54,679
Yep. How is that possible? Uh...
131
00:04:54,719 --> 00:04:57,559
No, it was all very innocent
and Dawsons creek-y.
132
00:04:57,599 --> 00:05:00,159
Well, yeah. Yeah. And I was always
the better Archer...
133
00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:01,839
Mm... if you watch the videos.
134
00:05:01,879 --> 00:05:03,480
Sam: Videos? What videos?
135
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,680
Oh, god.
136
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,920
"If you're ever in cardigan bay..."
Big if.
137
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:11,160
"You really must come and stay
at the gables."
138
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,240
Oh.
139
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,761
"Love to rachey and best
to you and the family."
140
00:05:14,801 --> 00:05:16,481
I mean, "love to rachey."
141
00:05:16,521 --> 00:05:17,681
Pfft!
142
00:05:17,721 --> 00:05:19,641
Jog on, son. Jog on.
143
00:05:19,681 --> 00:05:22,001
Cardigan? That's not far from me.
144
00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:25,162
You can drop Amy off in swansea,
and then go check out his gables.
145
00:05:25,202 --> 00:05:26,562
No! No.
146
00:05:26,602 --> 00:05:29,002
No! Why not? No way! No.
147
00:05:29,042 --> 00:05:32,282
I-I would...
I would rather be dead, genuinely.
148
00:05:32,322 --> 00:05:34,402
Wow. You know?
149
00:05:34,443 --> 00:05:37,123
No, I never want to see ray again.
150
00:05:37,163 --> 00:05:40,883
I mean, who names their house the
gables, for god's sake? Yeah...
151
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:43,883
A joke. The man is a joke.
152
00:05:45,003 --> 00:05:46,324
Here we go.
153
00:05:47,484 --> 00:05:49,484
Wow. Ah.
154
00:05:49,524 --> 00:05:51,484
Look at that view.
Sue: That's gorgeous.
155
00:05:51,524 --> 00:05:54,084
Blimey.
Yeah, it is actually...
156
00:05:54,124 --> 00:05:56,165
..Really lovely, isn't it?
Annoyingly.
157
00:05:56,205 --> 00:05:58,485
Oh, we forgot to drop Amy
off on the way!
158
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,725
No, no, no, that's not...
159
00:06:00,765 --> 00:06:03,165
Maya's got a deadline, so her
course mates have taken her
160
00:06:03,205 --> 00:06:05,845
to their family's place
in gower to work.
161
00:06:05,885 --> 00:06:08,406
Sam: What? All of them?
Yeah, I think so.
162
00:06:08,446 --> 00:06:10,886
Ah! I hear voices. There he is!
163
00:06:10,926 --> 00:06:12,126
Ray.
164
00:06:12,166 --> 00:06:15,966
The second best-looking man on
the '04 gb olympic archery team.
165
00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:18,487
Yeah, well, I suppose Colin
was quite good-looking.
166
00:06:18,527 --> 00:06:21,407
I'm not talking about Colin, mate.
I'm talking about myself.
167
00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:23,967
Yeah, I know. I know that.
Rachey, rachey...!
168
00:06:24,007 --> 00:06:25,887
Ah, ray. Oh. Lovely.
169
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,167
Mm...
170
00:06:27,207 --> 00:06:28,688
Well, you smell amazing.
171
00:06:28,728 --> 00:06:30,728
Yes, I've just eaten burger king.
172
00:06:30,768 --> 00:06:32,328
Is it a burger king?
173
00:06:32,368 --> 00:06:34,088
Wow. You're enormous.
174
00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:35,408
Ok, thank you.
175
00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:36,728
And Paul's mum!
176
00:06:36,768 --> 00:06:38,368
Yes, you're still with us!
177
00:06:38,408 --> 00:06:40,529
Sue. I am, yes. Hello.
178
00:06:40,569 --> 00:06:42,929
Last time I saw you,
you were a babe in arms.
179
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,809
Yeah, stop filming actually, Sam.
No, keep filming, actually, Sam.
180
00:06:45,849 --> 00:06:47,569
Love all this stuff,
tiktok and whatnot.
181
00:06:47,609 --> 00:06:49,289
Sam: I'm a documentary film-maker.
182
00:06:49,329 --> 00:06:51,930
Sure you are.
Well, get a load of this.
183
00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:54,450
That is what a winner looks like.
184
00:06:54,490 --> 00:06:55,850
Peej.
185
00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:57,450
Yeah, you didn't win, ray.
186
00:06:57,490 --> 00:06:58,850
It's bronze. Mm.
187
00:06:58,890 --> 00:07:01,011
I won the bronze, so I did win.
188
00:07:01,051 --> 00:07:02,371
Ok.
189
00:07:02,411 --> 00:07:04,891
Good, that's that sorted.
190
00:07:04,931 --> 00:07:06,411
Right, shall I show you round?
191
00:07:06,451 --> 00:07:08,211
Yes, please.
Give me that bloody bag...
192
00:07:08,251 --> 00:07:10,491
Thank you... before we're too much
older. Come on.
193
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:13,052
Into the gables!
Show you my house!
194
00:07:13,092 --> 00:07:15,532
Oh, yes, yes. Yes?
Three barbecues, is it?
195
00:07:15,572 --> 00:07:17,092
Pardon me? Three barbecues.
196
00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:19,692
One, two, three.
Middle one's a smoker. Come on.
197
00:07:19,732 --> 00:07:21,492
If you'll excuse the tools.
198
00:07:21,532 --> 00:07:24,173
I've just been whittling some
new gatepost finials.
199
00:07:24,213 --> 00:07:26,093
Oh, yeah? Yes.
200
00:07:26,133 --> 00:07:28,893
This place is more like
a workshop than a kitchen.
201
00:07:28,933 --> 00:07:30,613
I'm such a bloody bloke.
202
00:07:30,653 --> 00:07:33,134
No, no, it's... it's lovely, ray.
203
00:07:33,174 --> 00:07:34,734
Indeed it is, sue.
204
00:07:34,774 --> 00:07:36,374
It could do with a woman's touch.
205
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,494
Paul chuckles as could I.
206
00:07:38,534 --> 00:07:39,894
As could I.
207
00:07:42,174 --> 00:07:44,895
Oh, what amazing...
208
00:07:44,935 --> 00:07:46,615
..Gables. Mm-hm.
209
00:07:46,655 --> 00:07:49,175
Yeah, when was it built?
Well, have a guess.
210
00:07:49,215 --> 00:07:51,775
No, thanks. Just tell us. 1675.
211
00:07:51,815 --> 00:07:54,135
I've tried to restore it
sympathetically,
212
00:07:54,175 --> 00:07:57,496
keep all the superb
17th-century features.
213
00:07:57,536 --> 00:07:59,456
Now, bedrooms.
214
00:07:59,496 --> 00:08:02,176
Granny and the kids,
I've put you in barley.
215
00:08:02,216 --> 00:08:05,457
Mm. So, you've named the rooms,
as well, have you? Oh, yeah, barley.
216
00:08:05,497 --> 00:08:06,897
Come on, up we go.
217
00:08:06,937 --> 00:08:09,937
Oh, blimey, look at
all the stuffies! Mm-hm.
218
00:08:09,977 --> 00:08:11,457
It's like a zoo!
219
00:08:11,497 --> 00:08:13,137
Where all the animals are dead.
220
00:08:13,177 --> 00:08:14,697
Sam: Not seeing much barley.
221
00:08:14,737 --> 00:08:16,058
Have you got Wi-Fi, ray?
222
00:08:16,098 --> 00:08:18,178
Uh, dial-up, yes.
223
00:08:18,218 --> 00:08:19,778
Dial-up? Mm-hm.
224
00:08:19,818 --> 00:08:21,738
Is that a 17th-century feature,
as well?
225
00:08:21,778 --> 00:08:23,298
Amy.
Paul chuckles
226
00:08:23,338 --> 00:08:25,418
no. That is actually quite rude.
All right!
227
00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:27,139
Well, you know,
it gets the job done.
228
00:08:27,179 --> 00:08:28,499
Slow and steady.
229
00:08:28,539 --> 00:08:30,659
Downloads the image. Ugh.
230
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:37,459
Now, let me take you, sir,
and you, to cumulonimbus.
231
00:08:37,499 --> 00:08:39,140
Cumulonimbus?
232
00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:41,860
There's no theme, then,
behind the names?
233
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:43,860
Lots of themes. Ok.
234
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:45,460
Different theme for each room.
235
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:47,660
And, finally... wow.
236
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:49,141
..The yard. Mm.
237
00:08:49,181 --> 00:08:51,861
Yes, please. Just the nine acres,
in the end. Nine?
238
00:08:51,901 --> 00:08:54,221
My own private Idaho. Crikey.
239
00:08:54,261 --> 00:08:56,821
You don't get this in the suburbs,
I imagine. No, you don't.
240
00:08:56,861 --> 00:08:59,062
We have parks, so no need.
241
00:08:59,102 --> 00:09:01,182
Do you get a lot of birds, ray?
242
00:09:01,222 --> 00:09:04,822
Yes. Yes, I do have a few female
admirers in the village.
243
00:09:04,862 --> 00:09:08,662
No, no, I mean, you know...?
I'm winding you up, sue!
244
00:09:08,702 --> 00:09:10,183
Oh!
245
00:09:10,223 --> 00:09:11,783
No, but in all seriousness,
246
00:09:11,823 --> 00:09:13,543
we have all sorts come through here.
247
00:09:13,583 --> 00:09:15,943
Grouse, owls,
the occasional warbler. Oh!
248
00:09:15,983 --> 00:09:17,823
Owls? Really? Yes.
249
00:09:17,863 --> 00:09:21,104
Do you know,
I've always wanted to see an owl?
250
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,744
That's one for the bucket list.
251
00:09:22,784 --> 00:09:24,784
Ah, yeah. Seeing an owl?
252
00:09:24,824 --> 00:09:26,824
Is that all? No!
253
00:09:26,864 --> 00:09:30,104
There are other things on my
bucket list, thank you very much.
254
00:09:30,144 --> 00:09:31,665
Like what?
255
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,105
Well...
256
00:09:33,145 --> 00:09:36,785
..I've always wanted to
try acid at some point.
257
00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:38,985
Well, I can't help with that, sue.
Really?
258
00:09:39,025 --> 00:09:41,345
But, yes, we do have owls. Oh.
259
00:09:41,385 --> 00:09:43,466
Tawny, thereof. Wow.
260
00:09:43,506 --> 00:09:45,786
Now, if you keep an eye on
this old tree here,
261
00:09:45,826 --> 00:09:48,426
the big one, round about
half past ten tonight...
262
00:09:48,466 --> 00:09:50,386
Right... you may be in luck.
263
00:09:50,426 --> 00:09:52,306
Well, there goes that idea.
264
00:09:52,346 --> 00:09:54,707
Mum's usually asleep by 5:30.
265
00:09:54,747 --> 00:09:57,147
8:15, thank you.
266
00:09:57,187 --> 00:09:59,147
And I can do later.
267
00:09:59,187 --> 00:10:01,947
I watched newsnight
a couple of months ago -
268
00:10:01,987 --> 00:10:03,307
some of it.
269
00:10:03,347 --> 00:10:05,548
And, rachey...
270
00:10:05,588 --> 00:10:07,908
..There is a church yonder.
271
00:10:07,948 --> 00:10:09,908
Oh, yes. Wow, yeah.
272
00:10:09,948 --> 00:10:11,748
Avec graveyard. Mm-hm.
273
00:10:13,548 --> 00:10:15,669
Ray, are they...?
Are they meant to be there?
274
00:10:15,709 --> 00:10:19,349
Um, yes. Let the tourists camp here,
bit of extra pocket money.
275
00:10:20,629 --> 00:10:21,789
Hi.
276
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,229
Sam: Oh, hi.
277
00:10:23,269 --> 00:10:24,829
Erm, I wasn't...
278
00:10:24,869 --> 00:10:26,350
Sorry, I...
279
00:10:26,390 --> 00:10:28,150
Anyway, that concludes the tour.
280
00:10:28,190 --> 00:10:30,230
Who would like a cup of tea?
Yes, please!
281
00:10:30,270 --> 00:10:32,070
Come on, sue. Thank you.
282
00:10:32,110 --> 00:10:33,830
Thanks, ray.
283
00:10:33,870 --> 00:10:36,031
Thank you. Thank you, rachey.
284
00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:43,111
Are you going to mention the sneeze?
Yeah... yeah, I will.
285
00:10:43,151 --> 00:10:45,711
Just not now, ok? In a bit.
286
00:10:45,751 --> 00:10:47,672
Don't rush me. I will.
287
00:10:49,512 --> 00:10:54,472
TV: Simon Terry now, looking to
consolidate on his earlier nine.
288
00:10:54,512 --> 00:10:56,112
Pff...
289
00:10:56,152 --> 00:10:58,833
This is really not how I wanted
to spend my Saturday night.
290
00:10:58,873 --> 00:11:01,953
Well, Sam wanted to watch the old
archery video, so blame him.
291
00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:03,113
Sam: What?
292
00:11:03,153 --> 00:11:06,793
It's actually very interesting,
once you get into the story. Story?
293
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,554
It's not line of duty, dad.
294
00:11:08,594 --> 00:11:11,354
It's five socially awkward men
trying to put a stick in a circle.
295
00:11:11,394 --> 00:11:13,274
Yeah, and it's sent granny to sleep.
296
00:11:13,314 --> 00:11:16,834
No, no, it hasn't. I'm dozing.
297
00:11:16,874 --> 00:11:18,674
Ok, Sam.
298
00:11:18,714 --> 00:11:20,875
Any of your friends up
to anything tonight?
299
00:11:20,915 --> 00:11:22,355
Uh, yeah.
300
00:11:22,395 --> 00:11:24,675
I think Ollie's watching all
three kung fu pandas again.
301
00:11:24,715 --> 00:11:26,315
Aw. But I mean...
302
00:11:26,355 --> 00:11:29,715
..Some of them must be out
somewhere, meeting girls, or...?
303
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,436
Oh, leave him alone, he's only 15.
304
00:11:31,476 --> 00:11:34,876
Exactly, he should be into
all that by now. All right.
305
00:11:34,916 --> 00:11:38,756
Well, you weren't meeting boys
and whatnot at 15, were you?
306
00:11:38,796 --> 00:11:40,797
God, yeah. God, yeah?
307
00:11:40,837 --> 00:11:42,317
As... as in, yeah.
308
00:11:42,357 --> 00:11:43,677
It means yeah.
309
00:11:43,717 --> 00:11:46,237
Well, not when you put a "god"
in front of it, it doesn't. Oh...
310
00:11:46,277 --> 00:11:48,997
That indicates that you were some
sort of underage man-eater.
311
00:11:49,037 --> 00:11:51,277
Of course... ok, well, that's
a horrendous image.
312
00:11:51,317 --> 00:11:52,558
Of course I wasn't.
313
00:11:52,598 --> 00:11:55,438
I was just having fun and
obsessed with Damon albarn.
314
00:11:55,478 --> 00:11:57,998
And what were you doing
when you were 15?
315
00:11:58,038 --> 00:11:59,598
Well, I was...
316
00:11:59,638 --> 00:12:01,238
..Archery, mainly.
317
00:12:01,278 --> 00:12:03,879
Yeah, and draining his back boils.
318
00:12:03,919 --> 00:12:06,879
Ew. Honestly, some of them were
like absolute udders.
319
00:12:06,919 --> 00:12:09,519
Oh, my god. Can you go to sleep,
please, mum? Please?
320
00:12:11,399 --> 00:12:13,080
How are you doing out there, Robin?
321
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,000
Nearly got it!
He's on his way down now.
322
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,880
Oh, oh. I remember this one vividly.
323
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,040
Yes, this tournament was
the one that decided
324
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,360
who was going to Beijing '08.
325
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,040
So, yeah...
326
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,561
Maya laughs
327
00:12:24,601 --> 00:12:25,761
who is that...
328
00:12:25,801 --> 00:12:27,281
That's Ian... texting you?
329
00:12:27,321 --> 00:12:28,761
Uh, it's, uh, jav.
330
00:12:28,801 --> 00:12:30,881
Jav from uni. Jav?
331
00:12:30,921 --> 00:12:33,761
What, as in your stalker?
332
00:12:33,801 --> 00:12:38,762
Oh, no, no, no, no, that was all
just a big misunderstanding. Oh.
333
00:12:38,802 --> 00:12:42,002
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, jav's
just a friend, that's all.
334
00:12:42,042 --> 00:12:43,682
Robin: Found it.
335
00:12:45,122 --> 00:12:46,723
Woo!
336
00:12:46,763 --> 00:12:48,283
Did...? That wasn't easy.
337
00:12:49,683 --> 00:12:51,683
Have you been up the chimney?
338
00:12:51,723 --> 00:12:55,603
No, I just...
It's just very dirty up there.
339
00:12:55,643 --> 00:12:58,324
I mean, to be fair, I shouldn't have
worn white jeans in the loft.
340
00:12:58,364 --> 00:13:00,604
Or at all, really.
Robin, I'm so sorry.
341
00:13:00,644 --> 00:13:02,604
It's all on your thighs, look.
Oh, I know.
342
00:13:02,644 --> 00:13:05,164
Well, I had to sort of go
commando... oh, my god.
343
00:13:05,204 --> 00:13:07,645
..Cos of the wasps.
You took off your pants?
344
00:13:08,765 --> 00:13:12,725
No. No, I... no. I just crawled
around on my hands and knees.
345
00:13:12,765 --> 00:13:14,165
All: Oh.
346
00:13:14,205 --> 00:13:15,885
My pants are very much...
347
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:18,206
I'm so sorry.
Well, don't do that.
348
00:13:18,246 --> 00:13:19,686
I realised that as I did it.
349
00:13:19,726 --> 00:13:21,846
Anyway, we found big Bertha, so...
350
00:13:21,886 --> 00:13:23,206
Yep... cheers.
351
00:13:23,246 --> 00:13:26,006
Yeah, no worries. So, are you...?
Are you going away or...?
352
00:13:26,046 --> 00:13:28,607
Yeah, I'm doing a Buddhist
retreat... oh?
353
00:13:28,647 --> 00:13:30,047
..In Ipswich. Oh.
354
00:13:30,087 --> 00:13:32,887
It's for a month, so I need
to pack a lot of outfits.
355
00:13:32,927 --> 00:13:37,327
Oh, yeah, cos that's what Buddhist
retreats are all about. Yeah.
356
00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:39,848
You're not going, then, Robin?
No. No, I'm not.
357
00:13:39,888 --> 00:13:43,168
We're just having a month off,
aren't we, apart?
358
00:13:43,208 --> 00:13:45,888
Uh, just freezing the contract.
We're not breaking up or anything.
359
00:13:45,928 --> 00:13:47,848
It's just a... just a little break,
innit?
360
00:13:47,888 --> 00:13:49,889
Innit? Uh-huh.
361
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:52,249
Oh, oh, there I am, there I am!
That's me!
362
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:53,689
Everybody exclaims
363
00:13:53,729 --> 00:13:54,929
Sam: What is that haircut?
364
00:13:54,969 --> 00:13:56,449
Oh, look, and there's ray.
365
00:13:56,489 --> 00:13:57,809
God, he does look like you, dad.
366
00:13:57,849 --> 00:14:00,690
You've got a type, haven't you, mum?
Oh, shut up, Amy.
367
00:14:00,730 --> 00:14:04,490
So, I needed eight points or more,
uh, to finish above him. Yeah.
368
00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:06,770
But then I...
I ballsed up my final shot.
369
00:14:06,810 --> 00:14:09,370
Oh, wicked.
Oh, good. Now you're interested.
370
00:14:09,410 --> 00:14:11,370
It was galling.
I can't get over your hair, Paul.
371
00:14:11,411 --> 00:14:13,171
I had him, as well. Unlucky, dad.
372
00:14:13,211 --> 00:14:15,251
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What was that noise?
373
00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:17,651
What noise? Yeah, on the video.
Rewind it.
374
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,251
I didn't hear anything. No, there
was definitely a weird noise.
375
00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:23,252
Maybe it was the crowd or something.
Turn it up. Is there a noise?
376
00:14:23,292 --> 00:14:24,852
Ray sneezes loudly
377
00:14:24,892 --> 00:14:26,732
oh, there was.
Yeah, I heard it that time.
378
00:14:26,772 --> 00:14:28,532
I think that was...
I think that was ray.
379
00:14:28,572 --> 00:14:29,972
What, that shouty sneeze thing?
380
00:14:30,012 --> 00:14:31,772
Sam: Yeah, that's why you
shanked it, dad.
381
00:14:31,812 --> 00:14:34,493
Who even sneezes like that?
What, "achoo-ah"?
382
00:14:34,533 --> 00:14:36,973
Yeah, no-one.
No-one. It was a fake.
383
00:14:37,013 --> 00:14:38,533
He did it on purpose to put dad off.
384
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:42,333
Really? Some people do have really
weird sneezes, to be fair, Amy.
385
00:14:42,373 --> 00:14:44,014
Ray: Achoo-ah!
386
00:14:44,054 --> 00:14:46,134
Not that weird. Yeah, that's a fake.
387
00:14:46,174 --> 00:14:49,094
I'm calling fake sneeze on that.
Yep, yep.
388
00:14:49,134 --> 00:14:52,054
Oh, my god, dad.
Ray screwed you over.
389
00:14:52,094 --> 00:14:53,534
It is like line of duty.
390
00:14:55,215 --> 00:14:57,615
If I'd have made that shot,
I would've gone to Beijing...
391
00:14:57,655 --> 00:14:58,975
Well, let's not get carried away.
392
00:14:59,015 --> 00:15:01,175
..Where I would've almost
certainly have medalled,
393
00:15:01,215 --> 00:15:02,615
and been given an obe.
394
00:15:02,655 --> 00:15:04,815
Well, probably not an obe.
Maybe an mbe.
395
00:15:04,855 --> 00:15:06,096
Well, one of the bes.
396
00:15:06,136 --> 00:15:08,752
Which you should turn down because
of the association with the empire.
397
00:15:08,776 --> 00:15:11,176
Yeah, I probably would've...
Well, it makes no difference.
398
00:15:11,216 --> 00:15:13,432
You still wouldn't have an mbe.
Yeah, but he might be a pundit
399
00:15:13,456 --> 00:15:15,712
or something by now. They always
wheel out the old medallists
400
00:15:15,736 --> 00:15:17,537
for that, don't they?
Well, I don't think so.
401
00:15:17,577 --> 00:15:19,337
They do! If I'd have won
a bronze medal,
402
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:20,777
I could be the next Steve cram!
403
00:15:20,817 --> 00:15:22,377
Mm... or Claire balding!
404
00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:24,857
As opposed to just balding.
Ah, well, if ray did put you off,
405
00:15:24,897 --> 00:15:27,338
there's still nothing we can do
about now, is there? So...
406
00:15:27,378 --> 00:15:30,498
No, of course you can. You could go
up there and have it out with him.
407
00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,058
Oh, no. Yes, great!
408
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,859
Go the weekend that I'm in swansea
and you can drop me off on the way.
409
00:15:34,898 --> 00:15:36,058
Oh, that's...
410
00:15:36,098 --> 00:15:38,179
I mean, do you want to do that?
411
00:15:38,219 --> 00:15:39,819
Oh, go on, Paul.
412
00:15:39,859 --> 00:15:41,539
It's not very you to...
413
00:15:41,579 --> 00:15:43,299
Erm, uh...
414
00:15:44,619 --> 00:15:47,459
I don't know. Oh, come on, dad.
Don't be a doormat all your life.
415
00:15:47,499 --> 00:15:50,020
Well, that's a bit...
What do you mean all my life?!
416
00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:51,980
I haven't been a doormat
for any of my life!
417
00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:53,580
So, stick it to him, paolo!
418
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,140
Go on. Go on up to cardigan.
419
00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:57,220
I'm going to bloody do it!
Yes, he's doing it!
420
00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:58,980
Damn straight! Yes, dad!
421
00:16:00,141 --> 00:16:02,581
Yeah, we are going to cardigan, ray!
422
00:16:05,421 --> 00:16:06,901
Huh.
423
00:16:06,941 --> 00:16:07,981
Yeah...
424
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,782
Hi, ray. A wagtail.
425
00:16:13,062 --> 00:16:14,902
Wow.
426
00:16:14,942 --> 00:16:16,382
What can I do you for?
427
00:16:16,422 --> 00:16:17,782
Erm...
428
00:16:17,822 --> 00:16:19,622
Well, uh...
429
00:16:19,662 --> 00:16:21,423
It's not a biggie. Ok. I just...
430
00:16:21,463 --> 00:16:25,543
I was wondering if you remember
a archery meet in '07,
431
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:28,543
before Beijing? Erm...
432
00:16:28,583 --> 00:16:30,823
..The one... where you beat me?
433
00:16:30,863 --> 00:16:33,624
Ray chortles bloody hell!
434
00:16:33,664 --> 00:16:36,024
Narrow it down, peej.
That could be any of them.
435
00:16:36,064 --> 00:16:38,824
Well, I mean, I did win seven
tournaments that season, but...
436
00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:41,104
Seven? I only ask because...
437
00:16:41,144 --> 00:16:43,705
I think there may have been some...
438
00:16:43,745 --> 00:16:47,145
..Unsavoury behaviour-y... behaviour,
shenanigans.
439
00:16:47,185 --> 00:16:49,825
Right. What are you...?
440
00:16:49,865 --> 00:16:52,265
Uh, cheating.
441
00:16:52,305 --> 00:16:53,986
I mean... oh, god.
442
00:16:54,026 --> 00:16:57,546
Yeah, cheating. Oh, peej, man!
443
00:16:57,586 --> 00:17:00,066
Honestly, whatever you've done,
forget about it.
444
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,466
Honestly, I forgive you.
No, not by me.
445
00:17:02,506 --> 00:17:04,227
What are friends for?
446
00:17:04,267 --> 00:17:06,707
Forgive and forget,
that's what I say.
447
00:17:06,747 --> 00:17:11,627
I'm not one of these sad old farts
who stores up grudges.
448
00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:14,027
I'd find that pretty tragic,
wouldn't you?
449
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:18,268
No, I think I'd pity the fool who
can't just move on from stuff.
450
00:17:18,308 --> 00:17:21,068
Do you know what I mean? Yeah...
451
00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:23,348
Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah,
I mean, it's a good point.
452
00:17:23,388 --> 00:17:25,349
Don't give it another thought,
honestly. Ok.
453
00:17:25,389 --> 00:17:27,629
Yeah, it's, erm...
Let's just say no more.
454
00:17:27,669 --> 00:17:30,669
It's a long time ago, and, uh...
Water under the bridge.
455
00:17:30,709 --> 00:17:32,309
Yeah.
456
00:17:32,349 --> 00:17:35,189
It'd be pretty sad to start raking
over old graves, wouldn't it,
457
00:17:35,229 --> 00:17:37,350
you know? Yeah.
458
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,350
Would it ever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
459
00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:41,910
Me and rach did enough of that.
460
00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:43,910
Ok, yeah.
461
00:17:43,950 --> 00:17:45,550
Ah...
462
00:17:45,590 --> 00:17:47,351
Sorry...
Paul sputters
463
00:17:47,391 --> 00:17:48,991
what are these...?
464
00:17:49,031 --> 00:17:51,031
What are these grave jokes
all about again?
465
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,751
I, uh...
466
00:17:52,791 --> 00:17:54,711
Oh, no, just that, erm...
467
00:17:54,751 --> 00:17:58,032
No, me and rach once fooled around
in a graveyard,
468
00:17:58,072 --> 00:17:59,912
back in the... back in the day.
Yeah.
469
00:17:59,952 --> 00:18:02,072
What, fooled around as in,
uh, removed flowers
470
00:18:02,112 --> 00:18:03,752
and, uh, made fun of the names?
471
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:06,392
They laugh awkwardly
yeah, could be. Yeah?
472
00:18:06,432 --> 00:18:07,872
No, we got it on.
473
00:18:09,953 --> 00:18:11,633
Had it off.
474
00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,553
Arse on the grass and...
475
00:18:14,633 --> 00:18:16,593
Yeah, plugged away.
476
00:18:16,633 --> 00:18:18,233
She not tell you about that?
477
00:18:18,273 --> 00:18:19,994
No, she did say.
478
00:18:20,034 --> 00:18:21,714
Yeah, no, she said,
479
00:18:21,754 --> 00:18:24,114
many times. Erm...
480
00:18:24,154 --> 00:18:25,914
I knew about that.
481
00:18:25,954 --> 00:18:27,794
It's an absolute classic, actually.
482
00:18:27,834 --> 00:18:30,235
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah...
483
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,315
You all right?
Yeah, I'm good, man.
484
00:18:32,355 --> 00:18:34,715
Maya: Oh, god. Have you frozen?
485
00:18:34,755 --> 00:18:37,315
No, sorry. The signal's crap here.
486
00:18:37,355 --> 00:18:39,475
It's like being in a submarine...
487
00:18:39,515 --> 00:18:42,156
..Full of stuffed animals.
488
00:18:42,196 --> 00:18:43,916
Ew.
489
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,716
Are you alone?
490
00:18:45,756 --> 00:18:47,796
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jav's in the kitchen.
491
00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:49,436
She's cooking,
so I can keep on working.
492
00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:52,317
Oh, right.
And what about the others?
493
00:18:53,437 --> 00:18:55,037
How do you mean?
494
00:18:55,077 --> 00:18:57,077
All the others have finished?
495
00:18:57,117 --> 00:18:59,557
No, there aren't any others.
496
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:01,797
Uh...
497
00:19:01,837 --> 00:19:03,878
Oh, sorry, I thought...
I thought you knew that.
498
00:19:03,918 --> 00:19:06,398
Uh, yeah, no, I...
499
00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:07,678
Yeah.
500
00:19:09,958 --> 00:19:11,198
So...
501
00:19:13,079 --> 00:19:15,079
Oh, you've frozen again.
502
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,679
No, sorry, that's... that's just my
face.
503
00:19:17,719 --> 00:19:21,159
Erm... so, sorry,
it's just you and jav?
504
00:19:21,199 --> 00:19:23,119
Is no-one else there?
505
00:19:23,159 --> 00:19:24,480
Uh...
506
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,840
Yeah, well, only because ashad
couldn't come...
507
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,440
Sam, piss off!
508
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:29,720
Sam: All right.
509
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,840
Oh, my god, what is that?
510
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:39,081
Granny, what are you doing?
511
00:19:39,121 --> 00:19:41,281
Oh, hello, Sam.
512
00:19:41,321 --> 00:19:43,481
Just waiting for the owls.
513
00:19:43,521 --> 00:19:45,682
Right. Are you shivering?
514
00:19:45,722 --> 00:19:47,242
Uh, no.
515
00:19:47,282 --> 00:19:50,602
No, I've just had half a thermos
of coffee to keep me awake,
516
00:19:50,642 --> 00:19:52,762
so I'm extremely jittery.
517
00:19:52,802 --> 00:19:55,082
Right. What time is it?
518
00:19:55,122 --> 00:19:57,123
It's about five past eight.
519
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,683
Oh, my god...!
520
00:19:58,723 --> 00:20:00,443
Oh, my god. Ok, I can do this.
521
00:20:00,483 --> 00:20:02,043
Paul: I can't even think about it.
522
00:20:02,083 --> 00:20:04,723
Rachel: Well, there's no need
to get all weird about it.
523
00:20:04,763 --> 00:20:06,323
You said it was innocent. It was.
524
00:20:06,363 --> 00:20:08,444
You had sex in a graveyard, Rachel.
Ah...
525
00:20:08,484 --> 00:20:11,284
I mean, I don't remember that scene
in Dawson's creek. Ah...!
526
00:20:11,324 --> 00:20:13,524
You know,
it's just so disrespectful.
527
00:20:13,564 --> 00:20:15,564
All right, don't... don't try and
shame me.
528
00:20:15,604 --> 00:20:18,405
It's not like you don't have any
skeletons in your cupboard.
529
00:20:18,445 --> 00:20:19,925
Not like that, I don't.
530
00:20:19,965 --> 00:20:22,085
You've probably had a threesome
with a skeleton.
531
00:20:22,125 --> 00:20:23,605
Oh, don't be so childish. I mean...
532
00:20:23,645 --> 00:20:26,245
God, how could you even get
turned on in that context?
533
00:20:26,285 --> 00:20:28,045
We just thought it'd be funny.
534
00:20:28,085 --> 00:20:31,046
Really? Cos you know what I think
about in graveyards, Rachel?
535
00:20:31,086 --> 00:20:32,286
Death!
536
00:20:32,326 --> 00:20:34,286
I didn't enjoy it,
for what it's worth.
537
00:20:34,326 --> 00:20:37,246
It was very damp and nettle-y.
Oh, god...!
538
00:20:37,286 --> 00:20:40,007
I mean, we've not even
had sex outside.
539
00:20:40,047 --> 00:20:41,327
No, I know. Or not in a bed.
540
00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:43,527
Or not in the dark. I know,
I know you don't do that.
541
00:20:43,567 --> 00:20:46,007
Don't make me out to be some
sort of victorian just because
542
00:20:46,047 --> 00:20:47,687
I haven't had it off on top
of a corpse.
543
00:20:47,727 --> 00:20:50,528
I'm not calling you a victorian.
I'm calling you a coward.
544
00:20:50,568 --> 00:20:53,448
Of course you never have sex
outside. You're not even going
545
00:20:53,488 --> 00:20:55,808
to confront ray about cheating you
out of a medal,
546
00:20:55,848 --> 00:20:58,968
even after we've come
out all this way!
547
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:00,328
Are you?
548
00:21:03,689 --> 00:21:06,049
Well, don't... don't storm off.
549
00:21:06,089 --> 00:21:07,129
Paul?
550
00:21:08,209 --> 00:21:09,489
Paul!
551
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:12,410
Paul!
552
00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:16,650
Ok, listen to me,
you son of a bitch! What?
553
00:21:16,690 --> 00:21:18,450
You shafted me on purpose!
554
00:21:18,490 --> 00:21:21,010
Are you all right? In '07!
I'm fine. Uh-huh.
555
00:21:21,050 --> 00:21:23,611
At the team gb meet in Leeds!
Oh, not that again, peej.
556
00:21:23,651 --> 00:21:25,171
You sneezed during my final shot.
557
00:21:25,211 --> 00:21:27,891
If I'd have got eight or over,
then that medal would be mine.
558
00:21:27,931 --> 00:21:30,691
I can't help sneezing,
if that is even what I did.
559
00:21:30,731 --> 00:21:32,251
Well, you did, very loudly.
560
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,532
Yeah, and very fakely.
561
00:21:33,572 --> 00:21:35,092
It's all on video. Is it?
562
00:21:35,132 --> 00:21:36,932
The fake sneeze designed
to put me off...
563
00:21:36,972 --> 00:21:38,572
And can you stop whisking, please?!
564
00:21:38,612 --> 00:21:40,852
Can you stop whisking, you swine?!
Please!
565
00:21:43,012 --> 00:21:45,453
That medal should be mine
and you know it.
566
00:21:45,493 --> 00:21:48,133
Well, that's pathetic and weird.
567
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:50,173
It's not my fault that
I'm the better Archer.
568
00:21:50,213 --> 00:21:52,133
Oh, you think so, do you?
Yeah, I know so.
569
00:21:52,173 --> 00:21:55,334
Well, then, you won't mind a little
rematch tomorrow, then, will you?
570
00:21:55,374 --> 00:21:58,334
You're embarrassing yourself, peej.
I didn't put you off.
571
00:21:58,374 --> 00:22:00,134
What's the matter?
Are you chicken? No.
572
00:22:00,174 --> 00:22:02,094
Chicken? No. Huh? No, I'm not.
573
00:22:02,134 --> 00:22:03,534
Paul squawks
574
00:22:03,574 --> 00:22:05,415
cockle-doodle-doo!
575
00:22:05,455 --> 00:22:07,255
I'm not a chicken.
Cockle-doodle-doo!
576
00:22:07,295 --> 00:22:08,735
Sam: Dad, that's a rooster.
577
00:22:08,775 --> 00:22:10,055
Which is a type of chicken!
578
00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:13,095
I'm not a chicken, I said! Peej!
579
00:22:13,135 --> 00:22:14,935
Great... great.
580
00:22:14,975 --> 00:22:16,856
Well, then, we're on. Yeah.
581
00:22:16,896 --> 00:22:18,376
Tomorrow morning. Yeah.
582
00:22:18,416 --> 00:22:20,536
And if I win, I get the medal!
583
00:22:20,576 --> 00:22:22,136
Right, what about if I win?
584
00:22:22,176 --> 00:22:23,616
Well, if you win, you get...
585
00:22:23,656 --> 00:22:25,136
Rachel. What? I get Rachel.
586
00:22:25,176 --> 00:22:28,497
No. What the hell are you talking
about? Of course you don't.
587
00:22:28,537 --> 00:22:30,297
Definitely not, no? No... no!
588
00:22:30,337 --> 00:22:31,617
This isn't medieval times.
589
00:22:31,657 --> 00:22:33,937
You don't win women in sports
competitions any more -
590
00:22:33,977 --> 00:22:36,017
at least, I don't think you do.
In formula 1, maybe.
591
00:22:36,057 --> 00:22:38,178
I'm saying you'd have to agree
to it, too, of course.
592
00:22:38,218 --> 00:22:40,498
Well, I don't. Why would I do that?
593
00:22:40,538 --> 00:22:44,018
Because I thought maybe
you might harbour... no.
594
00:22:44,058 --> 00:22:46,698
No, no. This harbour
is totally empty.
595
00:22:46,738 --> 00:22:48,899
Frankly, ray,
you give me the creeps -
596
00:22:48,939 --> 00:22:51,099
that's why we broke up
after just under a month.
597
00:22:51,139 --> 00:22:53,379
The best just-under-a-month
of my whole life.
598
00:22:53,419 --> 00:22:56,059
Oh, for god's sake.
You'll have to win something else.
599
00:22:56,099 --> 00:22:57,939
All right, £1,000. Deal. Yep.
600
00:22:57,979 --> 00:22:59,780
Yeah, that's my monetary value,
is it? Deal.
601
00:22:59,820 --> 00:23:02,020
What are you saying deal for?
We don't have £1,000.
602
00:23:02,060 --> 00:23:03,580
We won't need £1,000
603
00:23:03,620 --> 00:23:06,060
cos it's in the bag, mate!
You'll need it, you'll need £1,000.
604
00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:07,860
You'll need £1,000.
Why would I need it?
605
00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:10,741
I'm giving you the medal if you win!
Think about the rules, man!
606
00:23:10,781 --> 00:23:11,941
We're going to win!
607
00:23:11,981 --> 00:23:13,861
Au contraire, peej!
This is my game!
608
00:23:13,901 --> 00:23:16,621
Sam, will you promise me to have
therapy when you get older?
609
00:23:16,661 --> 00:23:19,021
Because I don't want you turning
out like that, ok?
610
00:23:19,061 --> 00:23:20,221
Sam: Yes, mum.
611
00:23:22,862 --> 00:23:25,102
All right, dad, ready.
612
00:23:26,622 --> 00:23:28,142
Here we go then, young peej.
613
00:23:28,182 --> 00:23:30,302
Three arrows each,
highest score wins.
614
00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:31,983
Yeah, we know. Get on with it.
615
00:23:32,023 --> 00:23:35,863
I shall, uh,
text you my bank details.
616
00:23:35,903 --> 00:23:37,943
We won't need them.
Don't bother, mate.
617
00:23:40,503 --> 00:23:42,464
Ooh.
618
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:43,784
Someone's on the board.
619
00:23:43,824 --> 00:23:45,344
Over to you, sir. Ok.
620
00:23:48,024 --> 00:23:49,504
Go on, Paul.
621
00:23:49,544 --> 00:23:50,824
Sam: Go on, dad.
622
00:23:51,944 --> 00:23:53,265
Oh.
623
00:23:53,305 --> 00:23:55,865
Having a bit of trouble there, peej?
624
00:23:55,905 --> 00:23:58,585
The pointy end goes in
the front, mate.
625
00:23:58,625 --> 00:24:00,465
Be quiet, ray, please.
626
00:24:02,025 --> 00:24:04,626
That's it. Steady.
627
00:24:04,666 --> 00:24:07,226
Take your time, Paul.
Take your ti...
628
00:24:07,266 --> 00:24:09,946
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho!
629
00:24:09,986 --> 00:24:12,106
Straight in the old five there.
630
00:24:12,146 --> 00:24:14,186
It's ok. It's ok, Paul.
Don't mind if I do.
631
00:24:14,226 --> 00:24:16,947
It's all right, it's good.
Were you going for that?
632
00:24:16,987 --> 00:24:19,027
Peej? Yep.
Were you going for the five?
633
00:24:19,067 --> 00:24:20,947
Mm-hm. All right, good plan.
634
00:24:20,987 --> 00:24:23,947
Yeah, of course I was.
Got to have a plan.
635
00:24:23,987 --> 00:24:26,468
Got to have a plan.
I'm a bit rusty.
636
00:24:26,508 --> 00:24:28,868
How are you feeling, gran?
637
00:24:28,908 --> 00:24:30,908
Oh, awful.
638
00:24:30,948 --> 00:24:32,788
Jet lagged.
639
00:24:32,828 --> 00:24:37,589
I was buzzing till about 9:30
and then I hit the wall, conked out.
640
00:24:37,629 --> 00:24:41,309
Totally missed the owls,
if they even came.
641
00:24:41,349 --> 00:24:45,629
And I've no interest in taking acid
any more, not after that.
642
00:24:45,669 --> 00:24:47,430
Right.
643
00:24:49,590 --> 00:24:51,350
Come on, dad.
644
00:24:51,390 --> 00:24:53,630
Make that 13-5, I think, peej. Yep.
645
00:24:53,670 --> 00:24:54,910
You're up.
646
00:24:54,950 --> 00:24:57,190
How old's this bow, ray?
Action's a bit stiff, mate.
647
00:24:57,230 --> 00:25:00,471
Oh, ho, ho, ho. Yeah, I see.
Action's a bit stiff. Yes.
648
00:25:00,511 --> 00:25:02,391
Excuses, excuses, peej.
649
00:25:02,431 --> 00:25:04,071
Oh, come on, you two.
650
00:25:04,111 --> 00:25:07,111
Stop waggling your willies around
and get on with it.
651
00:25:08,352 --> 00:25:09,432
Willies?
652
00:25:10,792 --> 00:25:12,632
Rachel: You've got this, Paul. Yep.
653
00:25:16,592 --> 00:25:18,672
Yes!
654
00:25:18,712 --> 00:25:20,113
Well done.
655
00:25:20,153 --> 00:25:23,553
13-12, dad. You can do it.
Really... beautiful.
656
00:25:23,593 --> 00:25:25,953
Big one here... uh-huh.
..And you're out of it.
657
00:25:33,794 --> 00:25:36,074
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Oh...
658
00:25:36,114 --> 00:25:38,914
Yes, please!
That's how it's done, Raymond!
659
00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:40,594
21-12!
660
00:25:40,635 --> 00:25:42,755
You going to bow out now or...?
Shot.
661
00:25:42,795 --> 00:25:44,555
Shot.
662
00:25:44,595 --> 00:25:46,195
You need a big one.
663
00:25:46,235 --> 00:25:47,915
21-12, peej! Little bit rusty...
664
00:25:47,955 --> 00:25:49,675
Are you ok? Mm-hm. Yeah?
665
00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:51,676
It's only a medal, you know that?
666
00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:53,196
It doesn't change anything.
667
00:25:53,236 --> 00:25:56,476
We all love you anyway. Ok...
668
00:25:56,516 --> 00:25:59,796
That said, we really don't have
£1,000, so you do need to get a ten.
669
00:26:05,637 --> 00:26:07,357
Ray squeals
670
00:26:09,077 --> 00:26:11,797
my bad, peej. Thought I was
going to sneeze. Yeah.
671
00:26:11,837 --> 00:26:13,678
I heard. Just kidding, mate. Ok.
672
00:26:17,878 --> 00:26:19,558
Arrow looses
oh. Ten!
673
00:26:19,598 --> 00:26:20,598
Yes! Yes!
674
00:26:20,638 --> 00:26:22,598
I got ten! Yes! Yes!
675
00:26:22,638 --> 00:26:24,959
I got a ten! Ok...
676
00:26:24,999 --> 00:26:27,159
And it's all on camera.
You got that, right, Sam?
677
00:26:27,199 --> 00:26:28,359
Uh... you got that last shot?
678
00:26:28,399 --> 00:26:29,599
Yep. Oh, yes.
679
00:26:29,639 --> 00:26:32,599
Finally, having you film everything
pays off, mate. Ah...
680
00:26:32,639 --> 00:26:34,199
Erm, where's Amy?
681
00:26:34,239 --> 00:26:36,760
Uh... oh, yeah.
682
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,400
Where's Amy?
683
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:41,736
God. Oh, my god, where is she?
It'll be ok, it'll be fine.
684
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,680
We'll find her.
Did she say anything to you, Sam?
685
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,081
Of course not. She only talks
to me to tell me to shut up.
686
00:26:46,121 --> 00:26:48,041
There. There she is,
up there, on the left.
687
00:26:48,081 --> 00:26:49,761
Ah...
688
00:26:49,801 --> 00:26:51,801
Amy! Amy...!
689
00:26:54,721 --> 00:26:57,322
Oh, Amy.
Where were you going?
690
00:26:58,682 --> 00:27:00,762
I was trying to walk to cardigan!
691
00:27:00,802 --> 00:27:03,642
These stupid country roads
all look the bloody same!
692
00:27:03,682 --> 00:27:06,482
Oh, well, that's, uh,
lazy journalism.
693
00:27:06,522 --> 00:27:07,803
That's clearly the b4570...
694
00:27:07,843 --> 00:27:09,283
Shut up, ray. Yeah.
695
00:27:09,323 --> 00:27:12,643
Why were you going to cardigan?
To get the bus to swansea and...
696
00:27:12,683 --> 00:27:14,203
Amy sniffles
697
00:27:15,483 --> 00:27:18,684
it's just Maya and jav in the house.
698
00:27:18,724 --> 00:27:20,524
Oh, Amy...
699
00:27:20,564 --> 00:27:22,924
I thought they were all going,
700
00:27:22,964 --> 00:27:24,924
but it's just the two of them!
701
00:27:28,164 --> 00:27:30,725
Hey, on the... on the plus side,
I won a medal.
702
00:27:30,765 --> 00:27:31,925
Not now.
703
00:27:31,965 --> 00:27:33,965
Achoo-ah!
704
00:27:34,005 --> 00:27:35,925
Bless you.
705
00:27:35,965 --> 00:27:37,605
Thank you.
706
00:27:37,645 --> 00:27:40,126
Bloody ragweed, always sets me off.
707
00:27:41,566 --> 00:27:44,726
Achoo-ah! Oh!
708
00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:49,686
Achoo-ah!
709
00:27:50,607 --> 00:27:51,807
Ah...
710
00:27:53,727 --> 00:27:55,367
Achoo-ah!
711
00:27:57,527 --> 00:27:59,607
Achoo-ah!
712
00:28:01,688 --> 00:28:03,648
Achoo-ah!
713
00:28:05,008 --> 00:28:07,168
Cheers, then, peej. Ok.
714
00:28:07,208 --> 00:28:08,568
See you in a bit, rach.
715
00:28:09,888 --> 00:28:12,249
Ok. Bye, ray.
716
00:28:16,849 --> 00:28:20,489
I actually thought it was quite
an ugly medal, to be honest.
717
00:28:20,529 --> 00:28:21,609
Thanks, mum.
718
00:28:23,170 --> 00:28:25,290
It's better that he keeps it,
you know?
719
00:28:26,370 --> 00:28:28,290
He needs it more than me.
720
00:28:28,330 --> 00:28:29,730
I've got you lot.
721
00:28:29,770 --> 00:28:32,090
Aw. You're my bronze medal.
722
00:28:32,130 --> 00:28:36,091
Oh, right. So, we're the third best
family you could get, are we?
723
00:28:36,131 --> 00:28:38,731
I meant that in a nice way, Amy,
thank you. Hey, who is up for
724
00:28:38,771 --> 00:28:41,251
going to the seaside? No.
Yes! Oh, yes, please!
725
00:28:41,291 --> 00:28:43,051
That's a great idea!
Brilliant. Great.
726
00:28:43,091 --> 00:28:44,212
Amy? Yeah. Yeah, sure.
727
00:28:44,252 --> 00:28:45,652
Lovely.
728
00:28:45,692 --> 00:28:46,852
Chips.
729
00:28:46,902 --> 00:28:51,452
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