All language subtitles for Here We Go s01e03 Cherrys Salsa Class.eng

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All cheer

oh, my god!

Oh, shame!

Wow! There he is. An artist.

Oh, for god's sake.

He's only done the odd portrait.

He spent most of his life
working in homebase. All right!

Doorbell rings

hang on, what are you going to say?

What do you mean? To frank, about
the painting?

Oh, I'll just say something
good and classy, yet barbed.

Barbed? Yeah.

But you are going to apologise
for ruining the painting? No. Absolutely not.

He ruined it first, in a way.

Well... this is his fault,
if anything.

I just don't think you should go
on the attack. I won't.

I'll say something pithy and strong
that both humiliates him and

makes it clear that I'm the victim
in all this.

With dignity. And you back yourself

to come up with that on the spot,
do you?

Yeah.

Let's come back after cherry's
salsa class. Hmm?

Come on. Go, go, go, go! Quick!

Sam, come on! Sam! Let's get to the
bubble.

You know, what is the point
of even having a shoe rack

if you just leave your shoes
wherever you want?

Completely agree.
Let's get rid of it.

No, Sam, i'm... saying the opposite.

Oh, right. And why is there a
grabber on the floor?

Anyone?
That's mine, Rachel!

I can't bend down to get things
since me hip replacement.

I mean, I would pick it up,
but I'd need another grabber.

Ok, ok. And can you put this bow
away, please?

Paul? I'm job hunting!

Amy: Who is it, anyway?
What do you mean?

Well, we only ever tidy up if
someone's coming over, so who is it?

That's not strictly true.
We do sometimes hoover.

But, yes, it's frank from number 2
about the family portrait.

What?! Yeah. We're not actually
doing that, are we?

I thought you were joking.
What's a data analyst?

Yes, of course we are. Sam:
Do I have to sit and pose for it?

Yes. And put the camera down,
please. Oh!

Getting a family portrait
is really weird. No! And vain.

It's like something Vladimir putin
would do.

Yes, and I'm sure all the rest

of the putins would be very
appreciative.

Rach, do you think I could be a
data analyst?

Erm, I wouldn't have thought so,

hon, given you don't know what it
is.

Are there no bows and arrows

vacancies, then, Paul?

Er, no, no.

No-one's advertising for a freelance
Archer, mum.

Surprisingly. Although I did hear
that they were looking for someone

to work behind the bar
at the red lion pub.

Oh, really? Yeah.

So I was thinking I might go
for that.

You should. You look just like
a barman. Oh, yeah?

H-How, exactly?

Well, you know, hearty.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I suppose I am,
really. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you having another bag, then?

Yeah, he's like a chain smoker.

Well, Amy's got us starting this
month-long detox thing tomorrow

so, you know, I thought i'd...
Eat a month's worth of fudge today.

Pretty much, yeah.
You what? Detox?

That's a bit hippy-dippy, isn't it?

If you consider not dying
from heart disease hippy-dippy,

then yes. Exactly.

It's a month without meat, booze,
caffeine, sugar and dairy.

But what else is there?
I mean, there's nothing left. Doorbell rings

there's vegetables.
Yeah. Salad. Mm-hm. Bran.

It's only for a month.
I'm looking forward to it, actually.

What, salad and bran?

Frank! Frank, hello, how are you?

Excellent, thank you.

I've just had reiki.

I'll just slip my crocs off, Rachel.
Oh, no, it's f...

Well... now, then. I love peeking
at other houses in the street.

I've gone completely open-plan.
Game changer. Ah.

Morning, all.

Frank walmsley, portrait artist.
Yes, this is...

This is everyone.

Paul, you know. Amy. Hi.

And this is Sam. Sam: All right?
Ah, yes.

Nice to meet you.
Is he filming?

Yeah, he will do that.

Hello, I'm sue.

Frank walmsley.

Hello, hello.

Now, will you want us on our
feet, frank?

Because I've just had a hip
replaced, and if I have to stand

for long, I will look
very distressed in the portrait.

Well, I work off of a photo... oh.

..So I'll be super duper quick,
I promise.

I had a new hip installation
myself last year,

so I understand - intimately.

Oh, did you?

Now, how long before you could
bend over?

Ok, mum, that's a bit personal.

I'm only asking! Now, are
you swimming?

No. If you are, you will be bending
like blimming Beckham

in no time at all.

Oh, I'll try that, then.

But you can stand, sit, cuddle...

Ooh! Cuddle...

..Any arrangement
for the portrait will be fine.

Amy: Not cuddle.
You don't want a cuddle? No!

Where to do this? Oh, fantastic.

This is the lightest room, I guess.
The garden room. So...

I put a new stone fireplace in mine.

Aegean limestone. Gorgeous!

Oh! Oh.

Yeah, you know, well, as long as we
all look nice, I really don't mind.

Sorry? I don't follow.

Well, we just want to all look
nice in the painting.

That's the main thing.

Yes. Well, you'll look how you look.

Well, no, I know, but,

I'm just saying, you don't
have to just copy the photo.

You can, you know, make
it a bit... kind.

Kind? What do you mean?

Well... she means propaganda.

Yes, thank you. Yeah, no.
I just mean, you know, nice.

Nicer than... yeah.

I'm an artist, Rachel.

I'm a servant of the truth.
And the client. That's standard, no?

I'm sure Michelangelo
didn't have to

make Jesus quite so buff all the
time, did he?

Oh, I see. You want to look
like Jesus.

Well, perhaps I should give
you a halo as well, hmm?

No, I don't want to look like...

Shall we take this photo, then?

Yeah. Let's line up.
Great.

You can't wear that. What? What's
wrong with it? Can you change?

I've changed! Ok.

Oh, yeah. There she is.

Judas jessop, the job thief.

Oh, god, get over it!

Yeah, that's not get into that
again. I'm over it.

So how's it going? Has it started?

Well, no, I don't think so.

There's no-one really in there.

Oh. Oh. Yeah.

Hiya!

Hi! How's it going?
Yeah.

How's it look like it's going?
Sam: Badly.

Don't say that, Sam!

It is going badly. Right, see?
Yes. Oh.

Because this div forgot
to say which red lion we were in,

so now everyone's
gone to different pubs.

Oh, no.

Except Kay. All right?

And Dave, to be fair. Doing it here
was all very lastminute.Com,

and there are a staggering number
of red lions out there, actually.

Probably more than there
are actual lions, yellow ones.

Door opens
man: Oh, here we are, cherry. Oh.

Hiya! Are you here for the
salsa class

or the loo? Loo.
Second door on the left, mate.

That keeps happening an' all.
Oh...

Honestly, I shouldn't even
be doing this in a bloody pub.

It's so embarrassing.
Well, it's... it's nice.

Oh, shit. Nicky, yaz

and ugly Chris are in the
red lion in hitchin.

Tell them to come to this one.

They've already ordered food,
though. Oh!

Oh, I've eaten in that red lion
before. It's pure goals, man.

Lamb shank was absolutely dripping
off the bone.

And?

Right.

Mm, can I get another half of amstel
in there

when you get a second,
my love? Thank you.

Actually, on that subject, though,

if you could all order something,
food and drink,

that would really help me out.

There's this, like, £30 minimum
spend when hiring the room, so...

Well, how's that going to work?

People can't eat and dance
at the same time, can they?

They can if they get burgers.

Oh, that is good... great...
We're eating at home, actually.

We've got some lentils soaking,
so...

Oh, you're still on your detox, are
you? Mm.

Paul: One day more. Lamers.

Hang on, 30?

No, the minimum spend is 300.

Not 30.

Ooh... ow.

He sniggers

i-is it? Yeah.
Best make it a pint, then, love.

It's all right.

Sue: Oh, Rachel, that's fantastic!
I agree, I love it. What?!

Well, that's because you're looking
at yourselves.

Look at me!

Look at how old he's made me.

Well, you're just looking at
yourself as well.

Well, of course I am.
I can't look away.

It's like a horror film.
I look like I'm about a million.

No, you look a lot less than that.

Anyway, you'll grow into it.
Grow into it?

Doorbell rings

it's supposed to be a nice family
portrait, sue,

not a coat for a toddler. Well, I
think he's captured us perfectly.

Yeah, well, you would say that.
He's made you look really chiselled.

That's just how I look, love...
Robin and cherry are here.

Oh! Hi, Robin!
Cherry, you all right?

Robin: Oh, let me think,
am I all right?

Well, put it this way, paolo -
Bitcoin went past 45.

Huh? Is that good?

Amazing, apparently.

Sam: Interesting shirt.

Oh, my godfathers!

You look like torvill and Dean!

Yeah, we're off to salsa.

Keep the camera up here, Sam,
while I'm in this.

Sam: Who are torvill and Dean?

Who are torvill and Dean?

Wow. I've heard it all now.

Hi. We thought we'd take a squizz
at this portrait.

Oh, I'd probably rather you didn't,
to be honest.

I didn't know you had Bitcoin,
Robin.

Well, not a whole one, to be fair.

Me, Dean and gelsman got a
third each.

Yeah, he's got a bit of a Bitcoin.

Sue: I'm sorry. What is it?

You've got a big coin, Robin?

Sam: No. It's not a real coin,
granny.

It's a sort of virtual currency.

It's a cryptocurrency, so it only
exists online

and you do transactions in the
blockchain.

I wouldn't bother trying
to explain it to mum.

She still doesn't understand
£2 coins.

I do understand them,
thank you very much.

I just don't trust them.

Well, not being vulgar,

but so far this year, it's made me
about eight grand. Eight grand?!

Oh, my godfathers! I'd honestly

have to work at the pub all year to
earn that.

Oh, did you get that job
at the pub, then, Paul?

Not yet, no, but it's basically a
done deal.

Ravi said there's only one
other applicant, so we're...

Oh. Oh, rach.

My tummy. Amy: Tummy.

Are you five years old?
Robin: Oh, god, is he all right?

Yeah, no, we're just in the middle
of this detox,

and Paul's had quite a bad reaction,
so...

Cherry: Shame. In the middle?

We've been doing it for, like,
six days.

Rach? Yeah?

I'm not in it. Yeah, well, you
didn't pose for it, cherry.

Were you expecting to be in it?

Well, I wasn't sure, to be honest.

It's a lucky escape, really, because
I mean, look at me.

Oh, god! He's just given me extra
wrinkles on purpose.

He's basically punished me for
asking to look nice, the bastard!

He's given me grey hairs as well,
which I don't have.

Aren't there a few?

No, there aren't, actually. Oh...

I mean, I could probably fix it.

I could lose some of the wrinkles
around the mouth.

Oh, yeah, Botox would sort that
right out.

In the portrait!

I could touch it up a bit.

Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah.
Like Photoshop? Yes. Mm-hm

shrill ringing, klaxon sounds

oh, my god, what's that?
Paul moans

that'll be my mobile phone.

Oh, I hate this.

It's like an air raid, isn't it?

This is exciting!

Ridiculous.

8659?

Yes, speaking.

Oh, yes. Very sexy phone voice, sue.

So, where's the salsa class?

That is uncanny.

It's seven o'clock at the
church hall, but it will start late,

though, because the cubs
always run over.

Sue on phone: Right...
Selfish little pricks.

They piss me right off, them cubs.

Last week, cherry nearly
tripped on a woggle.

Oh, no.
A woggle?! What's a woggle?

It's a little plastic hoopy thing
the scarf goes in, babe.

It's called a woggle.

Wow.

He's so clever, in't he?

And kind. Do you know, Robin,
as promised,

has actually helped me set up my own
dance class.

And I dance with the instructor
anyway,

so I'm definitely good enough.

Oh, she really is. Honestly, the way
she swings those hips about,

it's like watching tennis.

Do you two not dance together, then?

No. Not yet.

Robin's a beginner.

He can't even do a basic cubana!
They chuckle

and he really does get very sweaty,
don't you? I do, actually. Yeah.

No, especially the palms, they are,
aren't they, gushers. Urgh!

I don't know why. So who do you
dance with, then, Robin?

No, I don't. I just dance... just
generally, just on my tod.

But my class is not going to be in
some crummy church hall, is it?

No. We're going upmarket,
aren't we, babe? We are.

We're already in touch with
body explosion dance studios.

So good. But if my Bitcoin keeps
on surging, genuinely thinking

about hiring out your friend
and mine, the shard.

Oh, very dramatic!
That's miles away.

Sue: Right... it's in London,
is what it is.

..I've got some good news.

Oh, have you managed
to change your ringtone?

They chuckle
the pool's arriving on Wednesday.

What?! Oh, congratulations.

Paul: What pool? My pool.

I've ordered a pool, so make sure
you're in on Wednesday.

It's coming here?!
Well, yeah.

Well, it'll ruin my lawn
if I put it in my garden.

What about our lawn?

Well, screw our lawn. We'll take the
pool. Thanks, granny!

Sam: Sick! And I'm here
more than I'm at home anyway, so...

Yeah. Oh, I know. Yeah. I know.
Yeah.

You never told me you bought a pool.

I bought a pool. Yeah, and why have
you done that?

Well, for me hip exercises.
Oh, I see, right.

So you're just foisting it on us,
are you? Foisting?!

Robin: We'll have it, if you don't
want it.

I didn't say that. You can always
foist on us, sue.

You live in a flat. With a parking
space, though. Hang on.

Where's my suzuki going to go?

I'll be honest, I've not
thought it through.

Amy: We'll take the pool.
This is amazing!

I'm telling Maya! No, because I have
not approved this yet!

Rach... oh! Oh, no, my tummy's gone.

I got you. I got you, big guy.
Paul groans

Rachel, just give us a biscuit.

Ok. Sam, you get a father one of
those sugar-free oat biscuits,

please? No, a normal one.
Not a normal one!

Right, so, two more apple pies.
Mm-hm.

Another pint of amstel. I'll try and
squeeze in another sirloin.

Let's go medium rare this time,
mix it up.

Another pint for you, deano? Mm.

Take one for the team, yeah.
Rach, paolo?

Yeah, can I just have a
fizzy water, please?

What?! No.

Rach, I've got to spend 300 quid
here.

Robin, it's the last day
of our family detox,

there is genuinely nothing
else we can have on here.

So end it now, then.
No, no.

We're so close.

Why is there no vegan food on here?

I don't know. Ridiculous!

Well, she had mussels earlier
while I was pinging up the tinsel.

Oh... what?! Oh, my god!

Oh, my god. Is this a joke?

Have you been eating meat
at work the last month?

Well, no, that's...

Shellfish don't have a face,

so technically you can argue
that they're actually... plants.

Oh, can you? Yeah. You can argue
that, can you? Yep.

Judas, again! Oh!

Double Judas!

Do you have any idea how difficult
this last month

has been for me, Amy? Mm.
No sugar, no booze.

Well, you're not getting either
of those from mussels, dad.

Yeah, it's the principle, though,
isn't it? Yes, it is. You know?

Right, that's it. I'm going to have
the pork belly. What?!

I'm going to have the chocolate
fondant, two cappuccinos

and a pint of guinness extra cold.
Yes, paolo, he's back! Pao-lo-o!

Seriously, you're breaking the detox
on the last day?

You broke it first, mate.
Oh, and a side order of wedges.

Great. Rach? I'm going to have the
fish and chips, a mojito

and a bowl of butter.

Oh, yeah, just go for it.
Yeah, yeah. God, I'm trembling

just thinking about it. Me too. I'm
going to see if mum's eaten.

Robin: Absolutely love it. Maya:
I mean, you didn't tell me it was one of these ones. It's a beauty.

What ones?

It's a swimming pool, isn't it?
Yeah, well, I figured

it would go down... into the ground.

Yeah. This is a bit more
like a jacuzzi.

Sam: Yeah, without the bubbles.
Oh, there'll be bubbles!

What with the amount of lentils
Amy's got us eating. Unbelievable.

Oh, great. Yeah, this just gets
better and better.

Well, I'm sorry for dragging
you all the way from uni

for a substandard swimming pool.

Hey, as long as I get free drinks
in your pub, I'm happy.

It's hardly her pub.

She's basic bar staff.

Oh, dad's upset because I got
the job instead of him.

I'm upset for them, yes,

because you are the least hearty
person I've ever met, Amy.

You working on Saturday 30th?

Yeah, probably. Why?

I've got my first salsa class,
booked in at body explosion.

Seven o'clock sharp.

Sam: Could you not get
the shard then?

No. Bit pricey in the end.

Body explosion is not cheap,
mind you,

but should be all right as long
as Bitcoin

grows a pair and climbs back up
again.

Has it gone down, has it, Robin?
It's taken a minor nosedive, yeah,

after elon did another one of his
weird tweets.

The function room at the red lion's
free to hire if you need it.

Keep talking. Well, there's like a
£30 minimum spend, I think. Hmm...

That's...

Yeah, no, that's not funny.
That's a bad idea.

I wasn't joking.
Yeah, I was joking. All right? Don't want that, thank you.

Here we go!
He chuckles

she's ready!

She's ready, rach! Mum!

Sam: I'm going to go and get my
underwater camera.

Course you are. Sicko.

Rach! Stop fiddling with the
painting, she's ready!

Yes, one second!

Sam: Jesus. Amy: Mum, you look like
a zombie.

Oh, that is terrifying!

Yeah, I reckon leave it now, mum.
Yes, I know, I will.

Just the face... the face has gone a
bit... plague-y.

So...

I mean, that's just...
Just horrible.

Oh! Oh, granny's ready!

Hey, let's get this show in the
pool! Yeah!

Oh, this is the life.
That is lovely.

Ooh, it's like being on holiday!

Cherry: Yeah, budget holiday, maybe.

Did you not think to mix any water
with that chlorine, Paul!

It is chlorinated, Maya, thank you.
Reassuringly chlorinated.

In fact, it'll probably kill any
parasites we might be carrying.

Oh, great.
So like a sheep dip?

Oh, my god! This is genuinely
fantastic.

Tell me about it, right?
I'm going to use it every day.

Ok, I'm coming in! Huh?

Geronimo! Whoa!

No!

Oh!

No diving, please, Amy.
I'm not diving, I'm jumping.

Oh, jumping either, or bombing,
ok? It's very unsafe.

That is a rule.

Sam: So what can we do?
Just stand still?

No, you can swim!

You know, do lengths.
Cherry: Lengths? It's round.

Well, you know, diameters,
then, circumferences.

Bloody hell. Which ones are they?

What about heavy petting -
is that allowed?

Not with me, it's not, no.

Not with anyone, thank you.

This pool is primarily for
my hip exercises,

not for your funny business.

Nature's hip exercises.

No, no heavy petting, thank you,
Robin, and no veruccas, either.

Oh, no, really?
Cherry: Out you get, then.

Oh, gross! Don't you
shame me. It's a virus.

Oh, my grandad does something
called chair yoga, sue,

for his hips. Absolutely swears by
it.

Ooh, I like the sound of chair.

Sam: Whoa, what is that in the
water?

Dad, what is that?

Oh, god, has someone spilled
something. Cherry: What? No.

Have they bled? Has someone bled
something. What is it?!

No, no, I'm getting out.

What is it?! It's like an
orangey-brown colour.

It's like the squits, maybe. Oh!

Oh!

Sam: I think it's coming from you,
mum. Oh, yeah...

Oh, my god, rach, have you squitted?

No! No, I... yeah. Yeah? Yeah.

What is it?!

Yeah! Have you?

Yeah, I think it must be hair dye.

Whose hair dye?
You don't use hair dye, do you?

Well... since when have you
used hair dye?

Since the painting and everything.
Oh. I do have a few greys,

it turns out. Cherry: You do.

Quite a few.

Yeah. Well, I didn't realise it came
out in water, so...

Oh, in chlorine...

..It will, yeah. I mean, I knew
that.

Great. So the pool's red now,
is it?

Oh, oh, I've got it!

Why don't we add some white
hair dye to cancel out the red,

like you do with wine?

Shut up! Not in this situation,
Robin. No.

I mean, it's more a sort of greeny,
swampy brown... mm... river

than it is red.

Yeah. Yeah, apologies.

I mean, apologies.

Sam: So do we empty the pool or
what?

Empty it?! You've got to be joking,
haven't you?

How you going to empty it?
It'll be like Noah's ark?

Nah, nah.
I'm going to keep it like this.

Hey! Well, so the water's
a little bit brown.

So what? Who cares?

I don't. You know, no-one else
has got a brown pool, have they?

Huh? It's like swimming in a
river.

Cherry: One, two, three,
left forward...

Oh, my god, this is better than sex.

Yeah... all right!

Yeah, I agree with you,
but don't...

You want to imagine you're
drawing an eight

with a pencil up your bum.

Come on, that's it.
Roll those hips, sue.

I'd rather not roll me new hip,
to be honest, Cheryl.

You need to keep
up with your swimming, mum.

You haven't done your
hip exercises for weeks.

I'm over the pool now, Paul.

I'm actually doing chair yoga,
and it's working wonders.

Mobile phone vibrates
oh, god, it's frank.

Well, what time is he expecting
the picture?

About an hour ago.

Oh, I'll call him back.

He's doing the robot.

It's not funny. Yeah, it's not
funny. That's not funny, Dean.

Ugh! Ugh!

Sam: How is it, dad?

Horrible.

Obviously.

It's like being in a huge cup of
tea.

There's something about swimming in
circles that's quite depressing,

you know, existentially.

Like I'm going down a drain.

Yeah, that's probably the detox
talking. Yeah.

I'm just so low.

I need a doughnut or a beer,
you know?

Rach?

Rach?

Can we have one beer while Amy's
at work? No!

Come on, it's one more week!

Oh, my god, rach!

Stop fiddling with it!

I know! I can't, though.

I keep trying to fix it and making
it worse.

I feel like someone
in a documentary who's addicted

to plastic surgery.
Doorbell rings

oh, god. That is so bad.

Like I'm married to Mick Jagger.

My only hope is, if I just keep
at it long enough,

I might gradually learn how to
paint.

Oh...! Rachel, hello!
Mind if I pop in?

Frank, hi!

Hide it! Huh?!

Sorry?
Hi. Hi-de-hi. Hi.

It's frank, Paul!

Hi, frank! All right?

I'd really rather you didn't film
me.

Hmm. Maybe don't come in our house,
then.

Everything all right,
is it, frank?

Marvellous.

I found a £10 note in a clematis.
Oh!

But that wasn't what I came
to tell you.

I'm actually having a little
exhibition next Saturday evening.

Wow. So you should, an artist with
your...

Yes, we'd love to come.

Of course, yes.

And given that it turned out
so well, I simply must include

that super portrait of your lovely
family.

Oh, do you know, I don't know
if I can part with it, frank.

I just... I just love it so much.

Oh, bless you.

I will take good care of it.

I give you my word as an artist

and as the chairman of the Hazel
road allotment association. Aw...

Even so, I... where have you hung
it? I'd love to see it in situ.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No. No?
Oh...

You can't see it currently.

Oh, well, why not?

Because...
Yes?

Because... it's being framed!
It's being framed! Brilliant.

It's being framed at the moment,
which may take weeks, months,

maybe, even... I love you.
Love you too. Oh, surely not.

Who's doing it? The framers. In
town. The one near lidl? Yes. No.

No. Not that one.
The...

Well, you must mean mr frampton's,
then? No.

Hmm...

Well, yes, if that's the new one.

And, well, look, I'll telephone
mr frampton first thing Monday

morning and chivvy him along. No.
Make sure it's ready in time.

Nah, don't do that.

Well, no, I insist.
Mr frampton won't mind.

He's my boggle partner. Oh. Great.

I'm collecting it on Monday.

In fact, I just remembered that,

so you don't need to call
mr frampton. There's no need.

Oh, so, wonderful.

Yeah. You can bring it round, then.

Just trying to think of any other
reason why I can't do that.

Why can't I do that? Why can't
I do that? Why can't I...?!

I have the runs. Yeah, I can.

I can, of course, do that. Yes.

Any time before seven on Saturday.

Ok. Bye. Great.

Ta-ta, then. Ta-ta.

Ta-ta, then.

Rach?

What are you going to do?

I'm going to fix it.

I'm going to put it back to how it
was, and I'm going to frame it.

Got a week. Yeah, I can do that.

I can do that. Really?

You've got this.

So, all together, it comes to...

..Drum roll, please...
Oh, here we go.

Drumming

..£303.65.

Cheering yes!

Well done, everyone. Well done.

Well, that worked out perfectly.

Well, no, it didn't,
cos no-one bloody came.

Apart from that bit, yeah.

I'll have
another pint of amstel anyway.

Can you go next door?
Cos I want to close this bar now.

Anyone else?
Phone buzzes

it's frank. It's frank.
I've got to get it.

Frank, yes, we're on our way.

Yeah, right now. Right now.

Yeah.
Doorbell rings

back again, then.

Genuinely,
what are you going to say?

I...
Door opens

oh, at last!

Rachel and family.

Hi, frank.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, god.

God, no.

What happened?

That's absolutely chilling!

No, I know.

Yeah, I tried to touch it up
and then I got frustrated

and then, yeah...

..Did that.

But why?

Well, in fairness...

..You had made me look
quite haggard.

What?

Haggard? And I get it, you know?

I asked to look nice
in the painting,

so you deliberately
made me really old.

I mean, you know, be honest -
that's what happened, right?

I just copied the photo.

Well, that is...

Yeah. Yeah, well played.

Well played. That is checkmate.

Well done, well done.

I actually prefer it like that.
Yeah. Yeah, me too, actually.

Shouting: Stop filming me, boy!

Ugh...

Well, that went well.

Mm. I need a lie-down.

No, no, no, no, no. There's
something we really need to do.

Please, no, dad.
I really need a shower.

I did a double shift today.

Yeah, and I've eaten
an entire cheeseboard board.

It'll only take a second, ok?

Ok, this is the plan.

I will make a careful incision
in the pool's flank.

"Flank"? Side.

Creating a narrow aperture
and a steady flow of water,

which we will collect in the buckets
and take to the drains

in a four-person rotation. Ok?
Rachel sighs

always making sure that one person
is stationed by the spout.

And then we'll just let
old papa gravity do his thang, ok?

God. I mean, it's ambitious.
Yeah, let's do this.

Yeah? Let's drain a swamp.
Yeah. Yeah!

Yeah, woo. Team.

Go...

..Jessops! ..Swamp! ..Pool!

"Swamp"? We're draining the swamp.
What did you say? "Pool."

Jessops! Come on, Sam. Hurry up.

Yeah, I'll just put the camera
on the tripod.

Is this right? Yeah?

You set? Yeah, let's go. Ok. Ok.
Nobody move.

This needs to be
a very delicate cut. Ok?

Ok. Here goes. Let's do it.

Whoa!

Oh, god! Oh, my god! Argh!
They all yell

get back! Oh, my god.
Get the buckets!

Get the buckets!

Oh... oh, it's so cold.

Who's got a bucket?

Oh, that was quicker
than I expected.

The buckets...
Where have the buckets gone?

I did say
it would only take a second.

Well, I don't need a shower
any more. No.

They laugh

I mean, all joking aside, I think
we may have flooded someone's house.

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