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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 ENJOY ALL VOD IN HIGH QUALITY @ 4KVOD.TV GET LIVE TV,MOVIES,SHOWS IN ONE PACKAGE 2 00:00:12,561 --> 00:00:14,041 All cheer 3 00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:15,121 oh, my god! 4 00:00:16,722 --> 00:00:19,242 Oh, shame! 5 00:00:19,282 --> 00:00:21,922 Wow! There he is. An artist. 6 00:00:21,962 --> 00:00:23,242 Oh, for god's sake. 7 00:00:23,282 --> 00:00:24,682 He's only done the odd portrait. 8 00:00:24,722 --> 00:00:27,122 He spent most of his life working in homebase. All right! 9 00:00:27,162 --> 00:00:29,882 Doorbell rings 10 00:00:29,922 --> 00:00:31,298 hang on, what are you going to say? 11 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:33,482 What do you mean? To frank, about the painting? 12 00:00:33,522 --> 00:00:36,963 Oh, I'll just say something good and classy, yet barbed. 13 00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:38,443 Barbed? Yeah. 14 00:00:38,483 --> 00:00:41,603 But you are going to apologise for ruining the painting? No. Absolutely not. 15 00:00:41,643 --> 00:00:44,003 He ruined it first, in a way. 16 00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:45,803 Well... this is his fault, if anything. 17 00:00:45,843 --> 00:00:48,323 I just don't think you should go on the attack. I won't. 18 00:00:48,363 --> 00:00:52,404 I'll say something pithy and strong that both humiliates him and 19 00:00:52,444 --> 00:00:55,764 makes it clear that I'm the victim in all this. 20 00:00:55,804 --> 00:00:57,564 With dignity. And you back yourself 21 00:00:57,604 --> 00:00:59,564 to come up with that on the spot, do you? 22 00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,044 Yeah. 23 00:01:03,084 --> 00:01:05,564 Let's come back after cherry's salsa class. Hmm? 24 00:01:05,604 --> 00:01:07,724 Come on. Go, go, go, go! Quick! 25 00:01:09,404 --> 00:01:13,205 Sam, come on! Sam! Let's get to the bubble. 26 00:01:13,245 --> 00:01:15,765 You know, what is the point of even having a shoe rack 27 00:01:15,805 --> 00:01:18,925 if you just leave your shoes wherever you want? 28 00:01:18,965 --> 00:01:21,525 Completely agree. Let's get rid of it. 29 00:01:21,565 --> 00:01:24,565 No, Sam, i'm... saying the opposite. 30 00:01:24,605 --> 00:01:28,125 Oh, right. And why is there a grabber on the floor? 31 00:01:28,165 --> 00:01:30,446 Anyone? That's mine, Rachel! 32 00:01:30,486 --> 00:01:35,006 I can't bend down to get things since me hip replacement. 33 00:01:35,046 --> 00:01:38,446 I mean, I would pick it up, but I'd need another grabber. 34 00:01:38,486 --> 00:01:40,926 Ok, ok. And can you put this bow away, please? 35 00:01:40,966 --> 00:01:43,086 Paul? I'm job hunting! 36 00:01:43,126 --> 00:01:44,966 Amy: Who is it, anyway? What do you mean? 37 00:01:45,006 --> 00:01:48,087 Well, we only ever tidy up if someone's coming over, so who is it? 38 00:01:48,127 --> 00:01:50,407 That's not strictly true. We do sometimes hoover. 39 00:01:50,447 --> 00:01:53,167 But, yes, it's frank from number 2 about the family portrait. 40 00:01:53,207 --> 00:01:55,447 What?! Yeah. We're not actually doing that, are we? 41 00:01:55,487 --> 00:01:57,967 I thought you were joking. What's a data analyst? 42 00:01:58,007 --> 00:02:00,303 Yes, of course we are. Sam: Do I have to sit and pose for it? 43 00:02:00,327 --> 00:02:02,007 Yes. And put the camera down, please. Oh! 44 00:02:02,047 --> 00:02:05,207 Getting a family portrait is really weird. No! And vain. 45 00:02:05,247 --> 00:02:07,168 It's like something Vladimir putin would do. 46 00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:08,448 Yes, and I'm sure all the rest 47 00:02:08,488 --> 00:02:10,368 of the putins would be very appreciative. 48 00:02:10,408 --> 00:02:12,488 Rach, do you think I could be a data analyst? 49 00:02:12,528 --> 00:02:13,848 Erm, I wouldn't have thought so, 50 00:02:13,888 --> 00:02:15,408 hon, given you don't know what it is. 51 00:02:15,448 --> 00:02:16,568 Are there no bows and arrows 52 00:02:16,608 --> 00:02:18,488 vacancies, then, Paul? 53 00:02:18,528 --> 00:02:20,168 Er, no, no. 54 00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,848 No-one's advertising for a freelance Archer, mum. 55 00:02:22,888 --> 00:02:26,729 Surprisingly. Although I did hear that they were looking for someone 56 00:02:26,769 --> 00:02:28,929 to work behind the bar at the red lion pub. 57 00:02:28,969 --> 00:02:30,329 Oh, really? Yeah. 58 00:02:30,369 --> 00:02:31,825 So I was thinking I might go for that. 59 00:02:31,849 --> 00:02:34,689 You should. You look just like a barman. Oh, yeah? 60 00:02:34,729 --> 00:02:37,089 H-How, exactly? 61 00:02:37,129 --> 00:02:39,729 Well, you know, hearty. 62 00:02:39,769 --> 00:02:41,089 Oh, yeah. 63 00:02:41,129 --> 00:02:43,210 Yeah. I mean, I suppose I am, really. Yeah, yeah. 64 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:44,930 Oh, you having another bag, then? 65 00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:46,370 Yeah, he's like a chain smoker. 66 00:02:46,410 --> 00:02:49,610 Well, Amy's got us starting this month-long detox thing tomorrow 67 00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:53,290 so, you know, I thought i'd... Eat a month's worth of fudge today. 68 00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:56,490 Pretty much, yeah. You what? Detox? 69 00:02:56,530 --> 00:02:59,050 That's a bit hippy-dippy, isn't it? 70 00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:01,691 If you consider not dying from heart disease hippy-dippy, 71 00:03:01,731 --> 00:03:02,771 then yes. Exactly. 72 00:03:02,811 --> 00:03:05,971 It's a month without meat, booze, caffeine, sugar and dairy. 73 00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,851 But what else is there? I mean, there's nothing left. Doorbell rings 74 00:03:08,891 --> 00:03:12,211 there's vegetables. Yeah. Salad. Mm-hm. Bran. 75 00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:15,211 It's only for a month. I'm looking forward to it, actually. 76 00:03:15,251 --> 00:03:16,571 What, salad and bran? 77 00:03:16,611 --> 00:03:20,212 Frank! Frank, hello, how are you? 78 00:03:20,252 --> 00:03:21,252 Excellent, thank you. 79 00:03:21,292 --> 00:03:23,012 I've just had reiki. 80 00:03:23,052 --> 00:03:26,132 I'll just slip my crocs off, Rachel. Oh, no, it's f... 81 00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:30,812 Well... now, then. I love peeking at other houses in the street. 82 00:03:30,852 --> 00:03:34,652 I've gone completely open-plan. Game changer. Ah. 83 00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:36,772 Morning, all. 84 00:03:36,812 --> 00:03:40,573 Frank walmsley, portrait artist. Yes, this is... 85 00:03:40,613 --> 00:03:42,373 This is everyone. 86 00:03:42,413 --> 00:03:45,693 Paul, you know. Amy. Hi. 87 00:03:45,733 --> 00:03:47,933 And this is Sam. Sam: All right? Ah, yes. 88 00:03:47,973 --> 00:03:49,693 Nice to meet you. Is he filming? 89 00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:51,293 Yeah, he will do that. 90 00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:53,173 Hello, I'm sue. 91 00:03:53,213 --> 00:03:54,333 Frank walmsley. 92 00:03:54,373 --> 00:03:55,693 Hello, hello. 93 00:03:55,733 --> 00:03:58,214 Now, will you want us on our feet, frank? 94 00:03:58,254 --> 00:04:02,014 Because I've just had a hip replaced, and if I have to stand 95 00:04:02,054 --> 00:04:06,094 for long, I will look very distressed in the portrait. 96 00:04:06,134 --> 00:04:08,854 Well, I work off of a photo... oh. 97 00:04:08,894 --> 00:04:11,894 ..So I'll be super duper quick, I promise. 98 00:04:11,934 --> 00:04:15,135 I had a new hip installation myself last year, 99 00:04:15,175 --> 00:04:17,775 so I understand - intimately. 100 00:04:17,815 --> 00:04:19,575 Oh, did you? 101 00:04:19,615 --> 00:04:23,095 Now, how long before you could bend over? 102 00:04:23,135 --> 00:04:25,055 Ok, mum, that's a bit personal. 103 00:04:25,095 --> 00:04:28,855 I'm only asking! Now, are you swimming? 104 00:04:28,895 --> 00:04:33,776 No. If you are, you will be bending like blimming Beckham 105 00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:35,296 in no time at all. 106 00:04:35,336 --> 00:04:37,816 Oh, I'll try that, then. 107 00:04:37,856 --> 00:04:40,856 But you can stand, sit, cuddle... 108 00:04:40,896 --> 00:04:42,016 Ooh! Cuddle... 109 00:04:42,056 --> 00:04:45,256 ..Any arrangement for the portrait will be fine. 110 00:04:45,296 --> 00:04:48,296 Amy: Not cuddle. You don't want a cuddle? No! 111 00:04:48,336 --> 00:04:50,136 Where to do this? Oh, fantastic. 112 00:04:50,176 --> 00:04:54,297 This is the lightest room, I guess. The garden room. So... 113 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:57,137 I put a new stone fireplace in mine. 114 00:04:57,177 --> 00:04:59,257 Aegean limestone. Gorgeous! 115 00:04:59,297 --> 00:05:01,097 Oh! Oh. 116 00:05:01,137 --> 00:05:06,097 Yeah, you know, well, as long as we all look nice, I really don't mind. 117 00:05:06,137 --> 00:05:08,617 Sorry? I don't follow. 118 00:05:08,657 --> 00:05:11,218 Well, we just want to all look nice in the painting. 119 00:05:11,258 --> 00:05:12,618 That's the main thing. 120 00:05:12,658 --> 00:05:15,298 Yes. Well, you'll look how you look. 121 00:05:15,338 --> 00:05:17,098 Well, no, I know, but, 122 00:05:17,138 --> 00:05:19,778 I'm just saying, you don't have to just copy the photo. 123 00:05:19,818 --> 00:05:22,658 You can, you know, make it a bit... kind. 124 00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:24,858 Kind? What do you mean? 125 00:05:24,898 --> 00:05:26,738 Well... she means propaganda. 126 00:05:26,778 --> 00:05:30,139 Yes, thank you. Yeah, no. I just mean, you know, nice. 127 00:05:30,179 --> 00:05:32,059 Nicer than... yeah. 128 00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:34,259 I'm an artist, Rachel. 129 00:05:34,299 --> 00:05:40,099 I'm a servant of the truth. And the client. That's standard, no? 130 00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:41,939 I'm sure Michelangelo didn't have to 131 00:05:41,979 --> 00:05:44,139 make Jesus quite so buff all the time, did he? 132 00:05:44,179 --> 00:05:46,660 Oh, I see. You want to look like Jesus. 133 00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:49,860 Well, perhaps I should give you a halo as well, hmm? 134 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:52,100 No, I don't want to look like... 135 00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:54,260 Shall we take this photo, then? 136 00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:56,700 Yeah. Let's line up. Great. 137 00:05:56,740 --> 00:05:59,580 You can't wear that. What? What's wrong with it? Can you change? 138 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,540 I've changed! Ok. 139 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,541 Oh, yeah. There she is. 140 00:06:05,581 --> 00:06:07,781 Judas jessop, the job thief. 141 00:06:07,821 --> 00:06:09,421 Oh, god, get over it! 142 00:06:09,461 --> 00:06:11,461 Yeah, that's not get into that again. I'm over it. 143 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:13,541 So how's it going? Has it started? 144 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,581 Well, no, I don't think so. 145 00:06:15,621 --> 00:06:17,101 There's no-one really in there. 146 00:06:17,141 --> 00:06:18,741 Oh. Oh. Yeah. 147 00:06:18,781 --> 00:06:19,941 Hiya! 148 00:06:19,981 --> 00:06:23,422 Hi! How's it going? Yeah. 149 00:06:23,462 --> 00:06:26,142 How's it look like it's going? Sam: Badly. 150 00:06:26,182 --> 00:06:28,062 Don't say that, Sam! 151 00:06:28,102 --> 00:06:30,822 It is going badly. Right, see? Yes. Oh. 152 00:06:30,862 --> 00:06:34,862 Because this div forgot to say which red lion we were in, 153 00:06:34,902 --> 00:06:37,182 so now everyone's gone to different pubs. 154 00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:38,222 Oh, no. 155 00:06:38,262 --> 00:06:39,782 Except Kay. All right? 156 00:06:39,822 --> 00:06:43,823 And Dave, to be fair. Doing it here was all very lastminute.Com, 157 00:06:43,863 --> 00:06:46,823 and there are a staggering number of red lions out there, actually. 158 00:06:46,863 --> 00:06:49,823 Probably more than there are actual lions, yellow ones. 159 00:06:49,863 --> 00:06:52,143 Door opens man: Oh, here we are, cherry. Oh. 160 00:06:52,183 --> 00:06:54,423 Hiya! Are you here for the salsa class 161 00:06:54,463 --> 00:06:58,343 or the loo? Loo. Second door on the left, mate. 162 00:06:58,383 --> 00:06:59,984 That keeps happening an' all. Oh... 163 00:07:00,024 --> 00:07:03,304 Honestly, I shouldn't even be doing this in a bloody pub. 164 00:07:03,344 --> 00:07:06,104 It's so embarrassing. Well, it's... it's nice. 165 00:07:06,144 --> 00:07:09,424 Oh, shit. Nicky, yaz 166 00:07:09,464 --> 00:07:12,184 and ugly Chris are in the red lion in hitchin. 167 00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:14,024 Tell them to come to this one. 168 00:07:14,064 --> 00:07:16,224 They've already ordered food, though. Oh! 169 00:07:16,264 --> 00:07:19,305 Oh, I've eaten in that red lion before. It's pure goals, man. 170 00:07:19,345 --> 00:07:21,505 Lamb shank was absolutely dripping off the bone. 171 00:07:21,545 --> 00:07:22,945 And? 172 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:24,985 Right. 173 00:07:25,025 --> 00:07:26,825 Mm, can I get another half of amstel in there 174 00:07:26,865 --> 00:07:28,625 when you get a second, my love? Thank you. 175 00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,105 Actually, on that subject, though, 176 00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:32,185 if you could all order something, food and drink, 177 00:07:32,225 --> 00:07:33,505 that would really help me out. 178 00:07:33,545 --> 00:07:36,705 There's this, like, £30 minimum spend when hiring the room, so... 179 00:07:36,745 --> 00:07:38,226 Well, how's that going to work? 180 00:07:38,266 --> 00:07:41,786 People can't eat and dance at the same time, can they? 181 00:07:41,826 --> 00:07:43,066 They can if they get burgers. 182 00:07:43,106 --> 00:07:45,826 Oh, that is good... great... We're eating at home, actually. 183 00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,386 We've got some lentils soaking, so... 184 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,546 Oh, you're still on your detox, are you? Mm. 185 00:07:50,586 --> 00:07:52,866 Paul: One day more. Lamers. 186 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,946 Hang on, 30? 187 00:07:54,986 --> 00:07:57,467 No, the minimum spend is 300. 188 00:07:57,507 --> 00:07:58,667 Not 30. 189 00:07:58,707 --> 00:08:00,347 Ooh... ow. 190 00:08:00,387 --> 00:08:02,547 He sniggers 191 00:08:02,587 --> 00:08:05,787 i-is it? Yeah. Best make it a pint, then, love. 192 00:08:05,827 --> 00:08:06,867 It's all right. 193 00:08:08,427 --> 00:08:11,627 Sue: Oh, Rachel, that's fantastic! I agree, I love it. What?! 194 00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:14,508 Well, that's because you're looking at yourselves. 195 00:08:14,548 --> 00:08:15,988 Look at me! 196 00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:17,308 Look at how old he's made me. 197 00:08:17,348 --> 00:08:19,588 Well, you're just looking at yourself as well. 198 00:08:19,628 --> 00:08:21,468 Well, of course I am. I can't look away. 199 00:08:21,508 --> 00:08:24,108 It's like a horror film. I look like I'm about a million. 200 00:08:24,148 --> 00:08:26,348 No, you look a lot less than that. 201 00:08:26,388 --> 00:08:28,428 Anyway, you'll grow into it. Grow into it? 202 00:08:28,468 --> 00:08:29,748 Doorbell rings 203 00:08:29,788 --> 00:08:31,748 it's supposed to be a nice family portrait, sue, 204 00:08:31,788 --> 00:08:34,429 not a coat for a toddler. Well, I think he's captured us perfectly. 205 00:08:34,469 --> 00:08:37,229 Yeah, well, you would say that. He's made you look really chiselled. 206 00:08:37,269 --> 00:08:39,949 That's just how I look, love... Robin and cherry are here. 207 00:08:39,989 --> 00:08:42,389 Oh! Hi, Robin! Cherry, you all right? 208 00:08:42,429 --> 00:08:45,469 Robin: Oh, let me think, am I all right? 209 00:08:45,509 --> 00:08:48,829 Well, put it this way, paolo - Bitcoin went past 45. 210 00:08:48,869 --> 00:08:50,269 Huh? Is that good? 211 00:08:50,309 --> 00:08:51,830 Amazing, apparently. 212 00:08:51,870 --> 00:08:53,270 Sam: Interesting shirt. 213 00:08:53,310 --> 00:08:55,310 Oh, my godfathers! 214 00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:57,590 You look like torvill and Dean! 215 00:08:57,630 --> 00:08:59,350 Yeah, we're off to salsa. 216 00:08:59,390 --> 00:09:02,390 Keep the camera up here, Sam, while I'm in this. 217 00:09:02,430 --> 00:09:03,830 Sam: Who are torvill and Dean? 218 00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:05,310 Who are torvill and Dean? 219 00:09:05,350 --> 00:09:06,910 Wow. I've heard it all now. 220 00:09:06,950 --> 00:09:09,791 Hi. We thought we'd take a squizz at this portrait. 221 00:09:09,831 --> 00:09:12,151 Oh, I'd probably rather you didn't, to be honest. 222 00:09:12,191 --> 00:09:13,991 I didn't know you had Bitcoin, Robin. 223 00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:15,471 Well, not a whole one, to be fair. 224 00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:17,191 Me, Dean and gelsman got a third each. 225 00:09:17,231 --> 00:09:19,871 Yeah, he's got a bit of a Bitcoin. 226 00:09:19,911 --> 00:09:21,351 Sue: I'm sorry. What is it? 227 00:09:21,391 --> 00:09:23,391 You've got a big coin, Robin? 228 00:09:23,431 --> 00:09:25,351 Sam: No. It's not a real coin, granny. 229 00:09:25,391 --> 00:09:26,991 It's a sort of virtual currency. 230 00:09:27,031 --> 00:09:29,072 It's a cryptocurrency, so it only exists online 231 00:09:29,112 --> 00:09:30,952 and you do transactions in the blockchain. 232 00:09:30,992 --> 00:09:32,872 I wouldn't bother trying to explain it to mum. 233 00:09:32,912 --> 00:09:34,672 She still doesn't understand £2 coins. 234 00:09:34,712 --> 00:09:37,472 I do understand them, thank you very much. 235 00:09:37,512 --> 00:09:38,912 I just don't trust them. 236 00:09:38,952 --> 00:09:39,952 Well, not being vulgar, 237 00:09:39,992 --> 00:09:43,392 but so far this year, it's made me about eight grand. Eight grand?! 238 00:09:43,432 --> 00:09:45,032 Oh, my godfathers! I'd honestly 239 00:09:45,072 --> 00:09:47,233 have to work at the pub all year to earn that. 240 00:09:47,273 --> 00:09:49,913 Oh, did you get that job at the pub, then, Paul? 241 00:09:49,953 --> 00:09:52,393 Not yet, no, but it's basically a done deal. 242 00:09:52,433 --> 00:09:55,313 Ravi said there's only one other applicant, so we're... 243 00:09:55,353 --> 00:09:56,833 Oh. Oh, rach. 244 00:09:56,873 --> 00:09:58,793 My tummy. Amy: Tummy. 245 00:09:58,833 --> 00:10:01,113 Are you five years old? Robin: Oh, god, is he all right? 246 00:10:01,153 --> 00:10:03,193 Yeah, no, we're just in the middle of this detox, 247 00:10:03,233 --> 00:10:05,594 and Paul's had quite a bad reaction, so... 248 00:10:05,634 --> 00:10:07,674 Cherry: Shame. In the middle? 249 00:10:07,714 --> 00:10:09,674 We've been doing it for, like, six days. 250 00:10:09,714 --> 00:10:11,074 Rach? Yeah? 251 00:10:11,114 --> 00:10:13,954 I'm not in it. Yeah, well, you didn't pose for it, cherry. 252 00:10:13,994 --> 00:10:15,754 Were you expecting to be in it? 253 00:10:15,794 --> 00:10:17,634 Well, I wasn't sure, to be honest. 254 00:10:17,674 --> 00:10:21,074 It's a lucky escape, really, because I mean, look at me. 255 00:10:21,114 --> 00:10:24,315 Oh, god! He's just given me extra wrinkles on purpose. 256 00:10:24,355 --> 00:10:28,915 He's basically punished me for asking to look nice, the bastard! 257 00:10:28,955 --> 00:10:32,395 He's given me grey hairs as well, which I don't have. 258 00:10:32,435 --> 00:10:33,475 Aren't there a few? 259 00:10:33,515 --> 00:10:35,235 No, there aren't, actually. Oh... 260 00:10:35,275 --> 00:10:36,835 I mean, I could probably fix it. 261 00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:39,275 I could lose some of the wrinkles around the mouth. 262 00:10:39,315 --> 00:10:41,276 Oh, yeah, Botox would sort that right out. 263 00:10:41,316 --> 00:10:42,796 In the portrait! 264 00:10:42,836 --> 00:10:45,356 I could touch it up a bit. 265 00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:49,276 Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Like Photoshop? Yes. Mm-hm 266 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,036 shrill ringing, klaxon sounds 267 00:10:51,076 --> 00:10:52,676 oh, my god, what's that? Paul moans 268 00:10:52,716 --> 00:10:54,876 that'll be my mobile phone. 269 00:10:54,916 --> 00:10:56,276 Oh, I hate this. 270 00:10:56,316 --> 00:10:57,596 It's like an air raid, isn't it? 271 00:10:57,636 --> 00:10:59,757 This is exciting! 272 00:10:59,797 --> 00:11:01,397 Ridiculous. 273 00:11:01,437 --> 00:11:03,557 8659? 274 00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:05,277 Yes, speaking. 275 00:11:05,317 --> 00:11:09,517 Oh, yes. Very sexy phone voice, sue. 276 00:11:09,557 --> 00:11:11,957 So, where's the salsa class? 277 00:11:11,997 --> 00:11:13,877 That is uncanny. 278 00:11:13,917 --> 00:11:16,997 It's seven o'clock at the church hall, but it will start late, 279 00:11:17,037 --> 00:11:19,278 though, because the cubs always run over. 280 00:11:19,318 --> 00:11:21,878 Sue on phone: Right... Selfish little pricks. 281 00:11:21,918 --> 00:11:24,518 They piss me right off, them cubs. 282 00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:27,398 Last week, cherry nearly tripped on a woggle. 283 00:11:27,438 --> 00:11:30,318 Oh, no. A woggle?! What's a woggle? 284 00:11:30,358 --> 00:11:33,358 It's a little plastic hoopy thing the scarf goes in, babe. 285 00:11:33,398 --> 00:11:35,078 It's called a woggle. 286 00:11:35,118 --> 00:11:36,159 Wow. 287 00:11:37,519 --> 00:11:40,199 He's so clever, in't he? 288 00:11:40,239 --> 00:11:43,119 And kind. Do you know, Robin, as promised, 289 00:11:43,159 --> 00:11:45,759 has actually helped me set up my own dance class. 290 00:11:45,799 --> 00:11:47,839 And I dance with the instructor anyway, 291 00:11:47,879 --> 00:11:49,519 so I'm definitely good enough. 292 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:52,159 Oh, she really is. Honestly, the way she swings those hips about, 293 00:11:52,199 --> 00:11:54,400 it's like watching tennis. 294 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,240 Do you two not dance together, then? 295 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,720 No. Not yet. 296 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,080 Robin's a beginner. 297 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,520 He can't even do a basic cubana! They chuckle 298 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:06,200 and he really does get very sweaty, don't you? I do, actually. Yeah. 299 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,920 No, especially the palms, they are, aren't they, gushers. Urgh! 300 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,801 I don't know why. So who do you dance with, then, Robin? 301 00:12:12,841 --> 00:12:15,761 No, I don't. I just dance... just generally, just on my tod. 302 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:19,241 But my class is not going to be in some crummy church hall, is it? 303 00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:21,881 No. We're going upmarket, aren't we, babe? We are. 304 00:12:21,921 --> 00:12:24,361 We're already in touch with body explosion dance studios. 305 00:12:24,401 --> 00:12:27,801 So good. But if my Bitcoin keeps on surging, genuinely thinking 306 00:12:27,841 --> 00:12:30,761 about hiring out your friend and mine, the shard. 307 00:12:30,801 --> 00:12:32,562 Oh, very dramatic! That's miles away. 308 00:12:32,602 --> 00:12:34,682 Sue: Right... it's in London, is what it is. 309 00:12:34,722 --> 00:12:36,002 ..I've got some good news. 310 00:12:36,042 --> 00:12:38,322 Oh, have you managed to change your ringtone? 311 00:12:38,362 --> 00:12:40,762 They chuckle the pool's arriving on Wednesday. 312 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,162 What?! Oh, congratulations. 313 00:12:42,202 --> 00:12:43,722 Paul: What pool? My pool. 314 00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:47,122 I've ordered a pool, so make sure you're in on Wednesday. 315 00:12:47,162 --> 00:12:49,643 It's coming here?! Well, yeah. 316 00:12:49,683 --> 00:12:52,243 Well, it'll ruin my lawn if I put it in my garden. 317 00:12:52,283 --> 00:12:53,483 What about our lawn? 318 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:57,043 Well, screw our lawn. We'll take the pool. Thanks, granny! 319 00:12:57,083 --> 00:13:00,403 Sam: Sick! And I'm here more than I'm at home anyway, so... 320 00:13:00,443 --> 00:13:03,123 Yeah. Oh, I know. Yeah. I know. Yeah. 321 00:13:03,163 --> 00:13:04,603 You never told me you bought a pool. 322 00:13:04,643 --> 00:13:07,843 I bought a pool. Yeah, and why have you done that? 323 00:13:07,883 --> 00:13:10,524 Well, for me hip exercises. Oh, I see, right. 324 00:13:10,564 --> 00:13:12,884 So you're just foisting it on us, are you? Foisting?! 325 00:13:12,924 --> 00:13:14,764 Robin: We'll have it, if you don't want it. 326 00:13:14,804 --> 00:13:17,044 I didn't say that. You can always foist on us, sue. 327 00:13:17,084 --> 00:13:19,444 You live in a flat. With a parking space, though. Hang on. 328 00:13:19,484 --> 00:13:20,964 Where's my suzuki going to go? 329 00:13:21,004 --> 00:13:23,244 I'll be honest, I've not thought it through. 330 00:13:23,284 --> 00:13:25,684 Amy: We'll take the pool. This is amazing! 331 00:13:25,724 --> 00:13:29,445 I'm telling Maya! No, because I have not approved this yet! 332 00:13:29,485 --> 00:13:32,085 Rach... oh! Oh, no, my tummy's gone. 333 00:13:32,125 --> 00:13:34,565 I got you. I got you, big guy. Paul groans 334 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:35,885 Rachel, just give us a biscuit. 335 00:13:35,925 --> 00:13:38,525 Ok. Sam, you get a father one of those sugar-free oat biscuits, 336 00:13:38,565 --> 00:13:41,045 please? No, a normal one. Not a normal one! 337 00:13:41,085 --> 00:13:44,405 Right, so, two more apple pies. Mm-hm. 338 00:13:44,445 --> 00:13:47,846 Another pint of amstel. I'll try and squeeze in another sirloin. 339 00:13:47,886 --> 00:13:49,726 Let's go medium rare this time, mix it up. 340 00:13:49,766 --> 00:13:51,846 Another pint for you, deano? Mm. 341 00:13:51,886 --> 00:13:54,206 Take one for the team, yeah. Rach, paolo? 342 00:13:54,246 --> 00:13:56,766 Yeah, can I just have a fizzy water, please? 343 00:13:56,806 --> 00:13:57,806 What?! No. 344 00:13:57,846 --> 00:13:59,566 Rach, I've got to spend 300 quid here. 345 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,726 Robin, it's the last day of our family detox, 346 00:14:01,766 --> 00:14:04,807 there is genuinely nothing else we can have on here. 347 00:14:04,847 --> 00:14:06,887 So end it now, then. No, no. 348 00:14:06,927 --> 00:14:08,727 We're so close. 349 00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:10,727 Why is there no vegan food on here? 350 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,447 I don't know. Ridiculous! 351 00:14:12,487 --> 00:14:15,887 Well, she had mussels earlier while I was pinging up the tinsel. 352 00:14:17,327 --> 00:14:19,527 Oh... what?! Oh, my god! 353 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,087 Oh, my god. Is this a joke? 354 00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:23,568 Have you been eating meat at work the last month? 355 00:14:23,608 --> 00:14:25,688 Well, no, that's... 356 00:14:25,728 --> 00:14:27,648 Shellfish don't have a face, 357 00:14:27,688 --> 00:14:31,928 so technically you can argue that they're actually... plants. 358 00:14:31,968 --> 00:14:34,768 Oh, can you? Yeah. You can argue that, can you? Yep. 359 00:14:34,808 --> 00:14:37,208 Judas, again! Oh! 360 00:14:37,248 --> 00:14:38,488 Double Judas! 361 00:14:38,528 --> 00:14:41,169 Do you have any idea how difficult this last month 362 00:14:41,209 --> 00:14:43,489 has been for me, Amy? Mm. No sugar, no booze. 363 00:14:43,529 --> 00:14:46,209 Well, you're not getting either of those from mussels, dad. 364 00:14:46,249 --> 00:14:49,649 Yeah, it's the principle, though, isn't it? Yes, it is. You know? 365 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:52,049 Right, that's it. I'm going to have the pork belly. What?! 366 00:14:52,089 --> 00:14:55,929 I'm going to have the chocolate fondant, two cappuccinos 367 00:14:55,969 --> 00:14:59,290 and a pint of guinness extra cold. Yes, paolo, he's back! Pao-lo-o! 368 00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:01,970 Seriously, you're breaking the detox on the last day? 369 00:15:02,010 --> 00:15:04,490 You broke it first, mate. Oh, and a side order of wedges. 370 00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:07,490 Great. Rach? I'm going to have the fish and chips, a mojito 371 00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:08,730 and a bowl of butter. 372 00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:11,250 Oh, yeah, just go for it. Yeah, yeah. God, I'm trembling 373 00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:13,850 just thinking about it. Me too. I'm going to see if mum's eaten. 374 00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:18,131 Robin: Absolutely love it. Maya: I mean, you didn't tell me it was one of these ones. It's a beauty. 375 00:15:18,171 --> 00:15:19,691 What ones? 376 00:15:19,731 --> 00:15:22,971 It's a swimming pool, isn't it? Yeah, well, I figured 377 00:15:23,011 --> 00:15:25,011 it would go down... into the ground. 378 00:15:25,051 --> 00:15:28,331 Yeah. This is a bit more like a jacuzzi. 379 00:15:28,371 --> 00:15:30,891 Sam: Yeah, without the bubbles. Oh, there'll be bubbles! 380 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:34,051 What with the amount of lentils Amy's got us eating. Unbelievable. 381 00:15:34,091 --> 00:15:36,452 Oh, great. Yeah, this just gets better and better. 382 00:15:36,492 --> 00:15:38,932 Well, I'm sorry for dragging you all the way from uni 383 00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:40,972 for a substandard swimming pool. 384 00:15:41,012 --> 00:15:43,692 Hey, as long as I get free drinks in your pub, I'm happy. 385 00:15:43,732 --> 00:15:45,452 It's hardly her pub. 386 00:15:45,492 --> 00:15:47,172 She's basic bar staff. 387 00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:49,852 Oh, dad's upset because I got the job instead of him. 388 00:15:49,892 --> 00:15:51,052 I'm upset for them, yes, 389 00:15:51,092 --> 00:15:54,173 because you are the least hearty person I've ever met, Amy. 390 00:15:54,213 --> 00:15:55,733 You working on Saturday 30th? 391 00:15:55,773 --> 00:15:59,293 Yeah, probably. Why? 392 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:03,333 I've got my first salsa class, booked in at body explosion. 393 00:16:03,373 --> 00:16:04,533 Seven o'clock sharp. 394 00:16:04,573 --> 00:16:07,093 Sam: Could you not get the shard then? 395 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,573 No. Bit pricey in the end. 396 00:16:09,613 --> 00:16:11,453 Body explosion is not cheap, mind you, 397 00:16:11,493 --> 00:16:13,894 but should be all right as long as Bitcoin 398 00:16:13,934 --> 00:16:16,174 grows a pair and climbs back up again. 399 00:16:16,214 --> 00:16:19,054 Has it gone down, has it, Robin? It's taken a minor nosedive, yeah, 400 00:16:19,094 --> 00:16:21,774 after elon did another one of his weird tweets. 401 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:25,574 The function room at the red lion's free to hire if you need it. 402 00:16:25,614 --> 00:16:29,494 Keep talking. Well, there's like a £30 minimum spend, I think. Hmm... 403 00:16:30,895 --> 00:16:31,935 That's... 404 00:16:33,135 --> 00:16:35,575 Yeah, no, that's not funny. That's a bad idea. 405 00:16:35,615 --> 00:16:38,655 I wasn't joking. Yeah, I was joking. All right? Don't want that, thank you. 406 00:16:38,695 --> 00:16:40,655 Here we go! He chuckles 407 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,135 she's ready! 408 00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,615 She's ready, rach! Mum! 409 00:16:43,655 --> 00:16:45,655 Sam: I'm going to go and get my underwater camera. 410 00:16:45,695 --> 00:16:47,055 Course you are. Sicko. 411 00:16:47,095 --> 00:16:49,536 Rach! Stop fiddling with the painting, she's ready! 412 00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,416 Yes, one second! 413 00:16:51,456 --> 00:16:53,296 Sam: Jesus. Amy: Mum, you look like a zombie. 414 00:16:53,336 --> 00:16:55,496 Oh, that is terrifying! 415 00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:57,736 Yeah, I reckon leave it now, mum. Yes, I know, I will. 416 00:16:57,776 --> 00:17:01,536 Just the face... the face has gone a bit... plague-y. 417 00:17:03,136 --> 00:17:05,296 So... 418 00:17:05,336 --> 00:17:07,777 I mean, that's just... Just horrible. 419 00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:11,937 Oh! Oh, granny's ready! 420 00:17:11,977 --> 00:17:16,977 Hey, let's get this show in the pool! Yeah! 421 00:17:17,017 --> 00:17:20,697 Oh, this is the life. That is lovely. 422 00:17:20,737 --> 00:17:22,497 Ooh, it's like being on holiday! 423 00:17:22,537 --> 00:17:24,857 Cherry: Yeah, budget holiday, maybe. 424 00:17:24,897 --> 00:17:28,338 Did you not think to mix any water with that chlorine, Paul! 425 00:17:28,378 --> 00:17:32,858 It is chlorinated, Maya, thank you. Reassuringly chlorinated. 426 00:17:32,898 --> 00:17:36,538 In fact, it'll probably kill any parasites we might be carrying. 427 00:17:36,578 --> 00:17:39,058 Oh, great. So like a sheep dip? 428 00:17:39,098 --> 00:17:43,058 Oh, my god! This is genuinely fantastic. 429 00:17:43,098 --> 00:17:46,219 Tell me about it, right? I'm going to use it every day. 430 00:17:46,259 --> 00:17:48,459 Ok, I'm coming in! Huh? 431 00:17:48,499 --> 00:17:50,219 Geronimo! Whoa! 432 00:17:50,259 --> 00:17:52,059 No! 433 00:17:52,099 --> 00:17:53,179 Oh! 434 00:17:53,219 --> 00:17:57,539 No diving, please, Amy. I'm not diving, I'm jumping. 435 00:17:57,579 --> 00:18:01,419 Oh, jumping either, or bombing, ok? It's very unsafe. 436 00:18:01,459 --> 00:18:03,300 That is a rule. 437 00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:05,820 Sam: So what can we do? Just stand still? 438 00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:07,580 No, you can swim! 439 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:10,820 You know, do lengths. Cherry: Lengths? It's round. 440 00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:13,180 Well, you know, diameters, then, circumferences. 441 00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:14,740 Bloody hell. Which ones are they? 442 00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:16,740 What about heavy petting - is that allowed? 443 00:18:16,780 --> 00:18:18,180 Not with me, it's not, no. 444 00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:19,980 Not with anyone, thank you. 445 00:18:20,020 --> 00:18:24,061 This pool is primarily for my hip exercises, 446 00:18:24,101 --> 00:18:25,901 not for your funny business. 447 00:18:25,941 --> 00:18:27,701 Nature's hip exercises. 448 00:18:27,741 --> 00:18:31,701 No, no heavy petting, thank you, Robin, and no veruccas, either. 449 00:18:31,741 --> 00:18:33,781 Oh, no, really? Cherry: Out you get, then. 450 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:37,301 Oh, gross! Don't you shame me. It's a virus. 451 00:18:38,541 --> 00:18:40,982 Oh, my grandad does something called chair yoga, sue, 452 00:18:41,022 --> 00:18:44,222 for his hips. Absolutely swears by it. 453 00:18:44,262 --> 00:18:45,742 Ooh, I like the sound of chair. 454 00:18:45,782 --> 00:18:47,822 Sam: Whoa, what is that in the water? 455 00:18:47,862 --> 00:18:49,382 Dad, what is that? 456 00:18:49,422 --> 00:18:51,782 Oh, god, has someone spilled something. Cherry: What? No. 457 00:18:51,822 --> 00:18:54,542 Have they bled? Has someone bled something. What is it?! 458 00:18:54,582 --> 00:18:55,742 No, no, I'm getting out. 459 00:18:55,782 --> 00:18:57,983 What is it?! It's like an orangey-brown colour. 460 00:18:58,023 --> 00:19:00,623 It's like the squits, maybe. Oh! 461 00:19:00,663 --> 00:19:02,503 Oh! 462 00:19:02,543 --> 00:19:04,703 Sam: I think it's coming from you, mum. Oh, yeah... 463 00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:06,623 Oh, my god, rach, have you squitted? 464 00:19:06,663 --> 00:19:10,343 No! No, I... yeah. Yeah? Yeah. 465 00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,383 What is it?! 466 00:19:11,423 --> 00:19:13,183 Yeah! Have you? 467 00:19:13,223 --> 00:19:14,743 Yeah, I think it must be hair dye. 468 00:19:14,783 --> 00:19:17,984 Whose hair dye? You don't use hair dye, do you? 469 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:20,224 Well... since when have you used hair dye? 470 00:19:20,264 --> 00:19:23,464 Since the painting and everything. Oh. I do have a few greys, 471 00:19:23,504 --> 00:19:24,664 it turns out. Cherry: You do. 472 00:19:24,704 --> 00:19:26,144 Quite a few. 473 00:19:26,184 --> 00:19:28,624 Yeah. Well, I didn't realise it came out in water, so... 474 00:19:28,664 --> 00:19:30,264 Oh, in chlorine... 475 00:19:30,304 --> 00:19:32,184 ..It will, yeah. I mean, I knew that. 476 00:19:32,224 --> 00:19:34,945 Great. So the pool's red now, is it? 477 00:19:34,985 --> 00:19:36,745 Oh, oh, I've got it! 478 00:19:36,785 --> 00:19:40,625 Why don't we add some white hair dye to cancel out the red, 479 00:19:40,665 --> 00:19:42,225 like you do with wine? 480 00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:44,065 Shut up! Not in this situation, Robin. No. 481 00:19:44,105 --> 00:19:48,665 I mean, it's more a sort of greeny, swampy brown... mm... river 482 00:19:48,705 --> 00:19:49,985 than it is red. 483 00:19:50,025 --> 00:19:51,505 Yeah. Yeah, apologies. 484 00:19:51,545 --> 00:19:53,746 I mean, apologies. 485 00:19:53,786 --> 00:19:56,706 Sam: So do we empty the pool or what? 486 00:19:56,746 --> 00:19:59,706 Empty it?! You've got to be joking, haven't you? 487 00:19:59,746 --> 00:20:02,106 How you going to empty it? It'll be like Noah's ark? 488 00:20:02,146 --> 00:20:04,586 Nah, nah. I'm going to keep it like this. 489 00:20:04,626 --> 00:20:07,026 Hey! Well, so the water's a little bit brown. 490 00:20:07,066 --> 00:20:08,426 So what? Who cares? 491 00:20:08,466 --> 00:20:12,867 I don't. You know, no-one else has got a brown pool, have they? 492 00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:15,667 Huh? It's like swimming in a river. 493 00:20:15,707 --> 00:20:18,107 Cherry: One, two, three, left forward... 494 00:20:18,147 --> 00:20:20,467 Oh, my god, this is better than sex. 495 00:20:20,507 --> 00:20:21,667 Yeah... all right! 496 00:20:21,707 --> 00:20:23,587 Yeah, I agree with you, but don't... 497 00:20:23,627 --> 00:20:26,227 You want to imagine you're drawing an eight 498 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:29,067 with a pencil up your bum. 499 00:20:29,107 --> 00:20:31,668 Come on, that's it. Roll those hips, sue. 500 00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:36,068 I'd rather not roll me new hip, to be honest, Cheryl. 501 00:20:36,108 --> 00:20:38,668 You need to keep up with your swimming, mum. 502 00:20:38,708 --> 00:20:40,948 You haven't done your hip exercises for weeks. 503 00:20:40,988 --> 00:20:44,108 I'm over the pool now, Paul. 504 00:20:44,148 --> 00:20:49,149 I'm actually doing chair yoga, and it's working wonders. 505 00:20:49,189 --> 00:20:51,669 Mobile phone vibrates oh, god, it's frank. 506 00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:54,509 Well, what time is he expecting the picture? 507 00:20:54,549 --> 00:20:56,349 About an hour ago. 508 00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:58,749 Oh, I'll call him back. 509 00:20:58,789 --> 00:21:00,669 He's doing the robot. 510 00:21:03,469 --> 00:21:06,710 It's not funny. Yeah, it's not funny. That's not funny, Dean. 511 00:21:12,990 --> 00:21:15,150 Ugh! Ugh! 512 00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:16,390 Sam: How is it, dad? 513 00:21:18,870 --> 00:21:20,190 Horrible. 514 00:21:20,230 --> 00:21:21,790 Obviously. 515 00:21:21,830 --> 00:21:24,270 It's like being in a huge cup of tea. 516 00:21:24,310 --> 00:21:28,231 There's something about swimming in circles that's quite depressing, 517 00:21:28,271 --> 00:21:31,151 you know, existentially. 518 00:21:31,191 --> 00:21:33,351 Like I'm going down a drain. 519 00:21:33,391 --> 00:21:36,631 Yeah, that's probably the detox talking. Yeah. 520 00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:38,791 I'm just so low. 521 00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:43,072 I need a doughnut or a beer, you know? 522 00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:49,712 Rach? 523 00:21:49,752 --> 00:21:50,952 Rach? 524 00:21:50,992 --> 00:21:53,552 Can we have one beer while Amy's at work? No! 525 00:21:53,592 --> 00:21:56,192 Come on, it's one more week! 526 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,752 Oh, my god, rach! 527 00:21:57,792 --> 00:21:59,352 Stop fiddling with it! 528 00:21:59,392 --> 00:22:01,112 I know! I can't, though. 529 00:22:01,152 --> 00:22:05,193 I keep trying to fix it and making it worse. 530 00:22:05,233 --> 00:22:07,553 I feel like someone in a documentary who's addicted 531 00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:10,113 to plastic surgery. Doorbell rings 532 00:22:10,153 --> 00:22:13,073 oh, god. That is so bad. 533 00:22:13,113 --> 00:22:14,793 Like I'm married to Mick Jagger. 534 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:17,873 My only hope is, if I just keep at it long enough, 535 00:22:17,913 --> 00:22:20,634 I might gradually learn how to paint. 536 00:22:21,714 --> 00:22:23,714 Oh...! Rachel, hello! Mind if I pop in? 537 00:22:23,754 --> 00:22:25,194 Frank, hi! 538 00:22:25,234 --> 00:22:27,234 Hide it! Huh?! 539 00:22:27,274 --> 00:22:29,354 Sorry? Hi. Hi-de-hi. Hi. 540 00:22:29,394 --> 00:22:30,714 It's frank, Paul! 541 00:22:30,754 --> 00:22:32,994 Hi, frank! All right? 542 00:22:33,034 --> 00:22:35,954 I'd really rather you didn't film me. 543 00:22:35,994 --> 00:22:38,955 Hmm. Maybe don't come in our house, then. 544 00:22:38,995 --> 00:22:41,155 Everything all right, is it, frank? 545 00:22:41,195 --> 00:22:43,195 Marvellous. 546 00:22:43,235 --> 00:22:45,875 I found a £10 note in a clematis. Oh! 547 00:22:45,915 --> 00:22:49,075 But that wasn't what I came to tell you. 548 00:22:49,115 --> 00:22:53,675 I'm actually having a little exhibition next Saturday evening. 549 00:22:53,715 --> 00:22:56,555 Wow. So you should, an artist with your... 550 00:22:56,595 --> 00:22:59,236 Yes, we'd love to come. 551 00:22:59,276 --> 00:23:00,396 Of course, yes. 552 00:23:00,436 --> 00:23:04,036 And given that it turned out so well, I simply must include 553 00:23:04,076 --> 00:23:06,876 that super portrait of your lovely family. 554 00:23:06,916 --> 00:23:10,316 Oh, do you know, I don't know if I can part with it, frank. 555 00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:12,796 I just... I just love it so much. 556 00:23:12,836 --> 00:23:14,156 Oh, bless you. 557 00:23:14,196 --> 00:23:15,437 I will take good care of it. 558 00:23:15,477 --> 00:23:17,397 I give you my word as an artist 559 00:23:17,437 --> 00:23:21,877 and as the chairman of the Hazel road allotment association. Aw... 560 00:23:21,917 --> 00:23:25,477 Even so, I... where have you hung it? I'd love to see it in situ. 561 00:23:25,517 --> 00:23:30,037 No, no, no, no, no, no. No. No? Oh... 562 00:23:30,077 --> 00:23:32,637 You can't see it currently. 563 00:23:32,677 --> 00:23:34,838 Oh, well, why not? 564 00:23:34,878 --> 00:23:37,758 Because... Yes? 565 00:23:37,798 --> 00:23:40,518 Because... it's being framed! It's being framed! Brilliant. 566 00:23:40,558 --> 00:23:44,478 It's being framed at the moment, which may take weeks, months, 567 00:23:44,518 --> 00:23:46,798 maybe, even... I love you. Love you too. Oh, surely not. 568 00:23:46,838 --> 00:23:51,278 Who's doing it? The framers. In town. The one near lidl? Yes. No. 569 00:23:51,318 --> 00:23:54,279 No. Not that one. The... 570 00:23:54,319 --> 00:23:56,519 Well, you must mean mr frampton's, then? No. 571 00:23:56,559 --> 00:23:57,759 Hmm... 572 00:23:57,799 --> 00:23:59,959 Well, yes, if that's the new one. 573 00:23:59,999 --> 00:24:04,239 And, well, look, I'll telephone mr frampton first thing Monday 574 00:24:04,279 --> 00:24:07,319 morning and chivvy him along. No. Make sure it's ready in time. 575 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:08,519 Nah, don't do that. 576 00:24:08,559 --> 00:24:11,480 Well, no, I insist. Mr frampton won't mind. 577 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,280 He's my boggle partner. Oh. Great. 578 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:15,960 I'm collecting it on Monday. 579 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,640 In fact, I just remembered that, 580 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,960 so you don't need to call mr frampton. There's no need. 581 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,560 Oh, so, wonderful. 582 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,280 Yeah. You can bring it round, then. 583 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,817 Just trying to think of any other reason why I can't do that. 584 00:24:28,841 --> 00:24:31,057 Why can't I do that? Why can't I do that? Why can't I...?! 585 00:24:31,081 --> 00:24:32,481 I have the runs. Yeah, I can. 586 00:24:32,521 --> 00:24:35,201 I can, of course, do that. Yes. 587 00:24:35,241 --> 00:24:38,001 Any time before seven on Saturday. 588 00:24:38,041 --> 00:24:39,921 Ok. Bye. Great. 589 00:24:39,961 --> 00:24:42,961 Ta-ta, then. Ta-ta. 590 00:24:43,001 --> 00:24:46,041 Ta-ta, then. 591 00:24:46,081 --> 00:24:47,122 Rach? 592 00:24:49,562 --> 00:24:51,042 What are you going to do? 593 00:24:51,082 --> 00:24:52,842 I'm going to fix it. 594 00:24:52,882 --> 00:24:55,418 I'm going to put it back to how it was, and I'm going to frame it. 595 00:24:55,442 --> 00:24:57,122 Got a week. Yeah, I can do that. 596 00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:58,962 I can do that. Really? 597 00:25:00,242 --> 00:25:01,522 You've got this. 598 00:25:05,242 --> 00:25:08,603 So, all together, it comes to... 599 00:25:09,643 --> 00:25:11,803 ..Drum roll, please... Oh, here we go. 600 00:25:11,843 --> 00:25:13,723 Drumming 601 00:25:13,763 --> 00:25:15,923 ..£303.65. 602 00:25:15,963 --> 00:25:17,963 Cheering yes! 603 00:25:19,243 --> 00:25:21,323 Well done, everyone. Well done. 604 00:25:21,363 --> 00:25:23,203 Well, that worked out perfectly. 605 00:25:23,243 --> 00:25:25,844 Well, no, it didn't, cos no-one bloody came. 606 00:25:25,884 --> 00:25:27,124 Apart from that bit, yeah. 607 00:25:27,164 --> 00:25:28,924 I'll have another pint of amstel anyway. 608 00:25:28,964 --> 00:25:31,284 Can you go next door? Cos I want to close this bar now. 609 00:25:31,324 --> 00:25:32,564 Anyone else? Phone buzzes 610 00:25:32,604 --> 00:25:35,164 it's frank. It's frank. I've got to get it. 611 00:25:35,204 --> 00:25:37,404 Frank, yes, we're on our way. 612 00:25:37,444 --> 00:25:39,484 Yeah, right now. Right now. 613 00:25:39,524 --> 00:25:40,764 Yeah. Doorbell rings 614 00:25:40,804 --> 00:25:41,844 back again, then. 615 00:25:44,405 --> 00:25:46,325 Genuinely, what are you going to say? 616 00:25:48,525 --> 00:25:50,445 I... Door opens 617 00:25:50,485 --> 00:25:52,445 oh, at last! 618 00:25:52,485 --> 00:25:54,365 Rachel and family. 619 00:25:54,405 --> 00:25:55,525 Hi, frank. 620 00:25:57,405 --> 00:25:58,645 I'm so sorry. 621 00:26:02,086 --> 00:26:04,086 Oh, god. 622 00:26:04,126 --> 00:26:05,166 God, no. 623 00:26:06,286 --> 00:26:08,206 What happened? 624 00:26:08,246 --> 00:26:10,566 That's absolutely chilling! 625 00:26:12,246 --> 00:26:14,086 No, I know. 626 00:26:14,126 --> 00:26:18,246 Yeah, I tried to touch it up and then I got frustrated 627 00:26:18,286 --> 00:26:19,927 and then, yeah... 628 00:26:20,967 --> 00:26:22,007 ..Did that. 629 00:26:23,287 --> 00:26:24,487 But why? 630 00:26:27,047 --> 00:26:30,047 Well, in fairness... 631 00:26:30,087 --> 00:26:33,327 ..You had made me look quite haggard. 632 00:26:35,327 --> 00:26:37,167 What? 633 00:26:37,207 --> 00:26:39,288 Haggard? And I get it, you know? 634 00:26:39,328 --> 00:26:41,648 I asked to look nice in the painting, 635 00:26:41,688 --> 00:26:45,608 so you deliberately made me really old. 636 00:26:45,648 --> 00:26:49,888 I mean, you know, be honest - that's what happened, right? 637 00:26:49,928 --> 00:26:52,008 I just copied the photo. 638 00:26:57,289 --> 00:26:59,649 Well, that is... 639 00:26:59,689 --> 00:27:01,809 Yeah. Yeah, well played. 640 00:27:01,849 --> 00:27:03,809 Well played. That is checkmate. 641 00:27:03,849 --> 00:27:05,729 Well done, well done. 642 00:27:05,769 --> 00:27:09,569 I actually prefer it like that. Yeah. Yeah, me too, actually. 643 00:27:09,609 --> 00:27:12,409 Shouting: Stop filming me, boy! 644 00:27:12,449 --> 00:27:13,809 Ugh... 645 00:27:15,450 --> 00:27:16,970 Well, that went well. 646 00:27:17,010 --> 00:27:18,370 Mm. I need a lie-down. 647 00:27:18,410 --> 00:27:21,130 No, no, no, no, no. There's something we really need to do. 648 00:27:21,170 --> 00:27:23,250 Please, no, dad. I really need a shower. 649 00:27:23,290 --> 00:27:24,490 I did a double shift today. 650 00:27:24,530 --> 00:27:26,770 Yeah, and I've eaten an entire cheeseboard board. 651 00:27:26,810 --> 00:27:28,730 It'll only take a second, ok? 652 00:27:28,770 --> 00:27:30,930 Ok, this is the plan. 653 00:27:30,970 --> 00:27:34,611 I will make a careful incision in the pool's flank. 654 00:27:34,651 --> 00:27:36,771 "Flank"? Side. 655 00:27:36,811 --> 00:27:40,291 Creating a narrow aperture and a steady flow of water, 656 00:27:40,331 --> 00:27:42,771 which we will collect in the buckets and take to the drains 657 00:27:42,811 --> 00:27:45,691 in a four-person rotation. Ok? Rachel sighs 658 00:27:45,731 --> 00:27:50,691 always making sure that one person is stationed by the spout. 659 00:27:50,731 --> 00:27:53,932 And then we'll just let old papa gravity do his thang, ok? 660 00:27:53,972 --> 00:27:56,812 God. I mean, it's ambitious. Yeah, let's do this. 661 00:27:56,852 --> 00:27:58,972 Yeah? Let's drain a swamp. Yeah. Yeah! 662 00:27:59,012 --> 00:28:00,932 Yeah, woo. Team. 663 00:28:00,972 --> 00:28:02,812 Go... 664 00:28:02,852 --> 00:28:04,252 ..Jessops! ..Swamp! ..Pool! 665 00:28:04,292 --> 00:28:06,852 "Swamp"? We're draining the swamp. What did you say? "Pool." 666 00:28:06,892 --> 00:28:08,252 Jessops! Come on, Sam. Hurry up. 667 00:28:08,292 --> 00:28:10,333 Yeah, I'll just put the camera on the tripod. 668 00:28:10,373 --> 00:28:12,133 Is this right? Yeah? 669 00:28:12,173 --> 00:28:16,333 You set? Yeah, let's go. Ok. Ok. Nobody move. 670 00:28:16,373 --> 00:28:19,533 This needs to be a very delicate cut. Ok? 671 00:28:19,573 --> 00:28:20,933 Ok. Here goes. Let's do it. 672 00:28:22,013 --> 00:28:23,013 Whoa! 673 00:28:23,053 --> 00:28:25,813 Oh, god! Oh, my god! Argh! They all yell 674 00:28:27,333 --> 00:28:31,254 get back! Oh, my god. Get the buckets! 675 00:28:31,294 --> 00:28:33,454 Get the buckets! 676 00:28:33,494 --> 00:28:36,734 Oh... oh, it's so cold. 677 00:28:38,774 --> 00:28:41,014 Who's got a bucket? 678 00:28:41,054 --> 00:28:43,934 Oh, that was quicker than I expected. 679 00:28:43,974 --> 00:28:46,054 The buckets... Where have the buckets gone? 680 00:28:46,094 --> 00:28:48,175 I did say it would only take a second. 681 00:28:48,215 --> 00:28:50,695 Well, I don't need a shower any more. No. 682 00:28:50,735 --> 00:28:52,495 They laugh 683 00:28:52,535 --> 00:28:56,055 I mean, all joking aside, I think we may have flooded someone's house. 684 00:28:57,305 --> 00:29:57,567 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 685 00:29:57,617 --> 00:30:02,167 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 52809

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