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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:04,172 "Cheers" is filmed before A live studio audience. 2 00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:08,042 I don't know, eddie. Try under the bed. 3 00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,777 Well, if they're Not there, 4 00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,112 Look in the back Of the closet 5 00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,846 Or behind The dresser 6 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,315 Or in The washing machine. 7 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:17,218 Yeah, if you still Can't find them, Call me back. 8 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,752 I swear to god. 9 00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:21,122 That man would lose His head if it Weren't bolted on. 10 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,623 What's up there, Carla? 11 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:25,093 Eddie wants to take The twins for a walk. 12 00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,260 Can't find his shoes, huh? 13 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,362 No, he can't find The twins. 14 00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:38,372 * making your way In the world today * 15 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,442 * takes everything You've got * 16 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:44,212 * taking a break From all your worries * 17 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:47,648 * sure would help a lot * 18 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:50,818 * wouldn't you like To get away? * 19 00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,456 * sometimes You want to go * 20 00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:59,260 * where everybody Knows your name * 21 00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:05,433 * and they're always Glad you came * 22 00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:08,035 * you want to be Where you can see * 23 00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:10,604 * our troubles Are all the same * 24 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:15,776 * you want to be where everybody Knows your name * 25 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:18,446 * you want to go Where people know * 26 00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:20,848 * people are all the same * 27 00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:25,353 * you want to go where Everybody knows your name * 28 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,075 Excuse me. 29 00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,210 No, no, it was my fault. 30 00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,212 I'm sorry. Are you ok? 31 00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:52,646 I'm just fine. 32 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,483 But how nice of you To be so completely Concerned. 33 00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:58,686 Well, you know, you can't Be too careful these days. 34 00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,754 So... 35 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,423 When's your baby due? 36 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,827 I'm not pregnant. 37 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:10,564 Oh. Well, then I really am sorry. Excuse me. 38 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,834 Why don't You just watch Where you're going 39 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,537 Next time, buster! 40 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,773 Sam, does this outfit 41 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,775 Make me look like I've put on a little weight? 42 00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,344 The outfit? Uh... 43 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:24,978 Yeah--no, that's what it Must be, right. 44 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,580 Turn around. Let me see. 45 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,782 Yeah, blame it On the outfit. 46 00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,552 You know, You've been wearing 47 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,487 An awful lot of fat clothes Recently, haven't you. 48 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,623 Oh, just shut up, Butthead! 49 00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:39,393 She called me butthead. 50 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,195 I think I'm Going to cry. 51 00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:42,530 Don't worry, sam. 52 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,198 It only looks that Way from the back. 53 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,472 You want another Beer, mr. P? 54 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:53,674 Love to, woody, But I gotta get back 55 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,109 To painting frasier And lilith's place. 56 00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,646 This is the first job Anyone's given me In 4 months. 57 00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:00,914 I'm not gonna do anything To jeopardize it. 58 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,683 I'm really making An effort this time 59 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,452 To be the kind of Dependable professional 60 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,987 That I'd like to have Working for me. 61 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,956 See you, Mr. Peterson. 62 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,123 What, wood? 63 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,725 I said I'll see you. 64 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,462 Well, damn it, woody, Now you made me late, man. 65 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,899 As long as I'm late, I'll just have another beer. 66 00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,878 Frasier: much better. Much better. 67 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,514 I never thought Our wedding portrait Lived there. 68 00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:34,915 Where should it go, Ivan? 69 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:37,751 Here's a spot. 70 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:44,625 Perfect. Why clutter A home with mementos? 71 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:48,095 Did I tell you Last night 72 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,497 I programmed myself 73 00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,265 To dream About your space? 74 00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:54,268 You didn't. We're thrilled. 75 00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,504 Hmm. To begin with, 76 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,539 We lose this wall. 77 00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:01,509 Uh, by "Lose," you mean We redesign it 78 00:04:01,509 --> 00:04:03,076 So that it practically Disappears? 79 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,545 Or "Lose" We knock it down 80 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,847 So we're left facing The back of our stove? 81 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:11,084 Fret not. We'll Be transforming Il cucina 82 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,186 Into an atrium. 83 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:14,988 I love this idea. 84 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,290 I adore it. 85 00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:17,858 But what about eating? 86 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,863 I design. I don't eat. 87 00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:26,334 Now over here, I imagine removing The ceiling 88 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,969 And extending the wall Up to the second story, 89 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,438 Culminating In a skylight 90 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:34,041 To flood the room With natural illumination. 91 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,344 But, uh, that's our-- 92 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:38,779 That's our bedroom Up there. 93 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:43,050 Is that all you People think about, Eating and sleeping? 94 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,456 Tell me This was a gift. 95 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,862 Doctor, might I have A word with you? 96 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:56,897 Certainly, doctor. 97 00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:00,868 How do you feel About ivan? 98 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:04,572 Feel? Lilith, the man Is one of the most famous Designers in the city. 99 00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,139 He's been written up In every magazine 100 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,908 From "Metropolitan home" To "H.G." 101 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,910 He's got more awards On his shelves Than we have shelves. 102 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,346 I'd like to beat The crap out of him. 103 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,750 Maybe we should Let him go. 104 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:19,219 If that's your final Decision, my cherub, I concur. 105 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,554 The heave-ho. 106 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,956 Wait. At the risk Of sounding sexist, 107 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,358 I do believe This is man's work. 108 00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:25,793 It requires A firm hand. 109 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,561 Please feel free To leave the room If you must. 110 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:30,030 This could get Unpleasant. 111 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,701 Sir? 112 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:36,036 You're too good For us. 113 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,306 Your masterful Design 114 00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:40,608 Would make our poor Little lives 115 00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:42,610 Just seem drab By comparison. 116 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:45,813 We'll see to Your severance pay. Two weeks? 117 00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:47,147 6 months. 118 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,482 Ivan: fine. 119 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:50,017 I can't tell you 120 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,386 What a once-in-a-lifetime Thrill it's been 121 00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:53,554 To bask in your talent. 122 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:56,857 Bye-bye, now. Watch the steps! 123 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,759 Hah! 124 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,095 I only hope He can recover 125 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,565 From that Tongue-lashing. 126 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:05,966 So, dandelion, 127 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,035 Now that you've given away The farm to ivan, 128 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,237 Do you have some swiss bank Account we can empty 129 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:11,505 To pay another Decorator? 130 00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:14,307 I'll go that one One better, dove bar. 131 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,276 I submit that Between the two of us, 132 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,645 We have enough faith And intelligence 133 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:19,980 To redesign our Own habitat 134 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,482 Sans outside help. 135 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,685 Bite me. I love you. 136 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,842 I take back my bite. We suck. 137 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,156 Much better. 138 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,358 Much better! 139 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,394 Pardon me? 140 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,797 Yes, by simply Moving that chair, 141 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:12,566 An intimate conversation Area is created, 142 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:13,734 At the same time 143 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,569 Opening up A new traffic pattern 144 00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,270 That gives The entire room 145 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,773 A whole new dynamic Sense of flow. 146 00:07:21,509 --> 00:07:23,977 Plus, I can spackle Behind here. 147 00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,149 Of course... 148 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,084 If you really Want a better shot At the intimate thing, 149 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:34,688 I'd take these-- What do you call these-- 150 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,824 These louis quatorze Jobbies 151 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:39,392 And move them Over like so. 152 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:42,996 Get the table Over this way. 153 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,465 Ok. Now this table Would have to come... 154 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,301 Like yea. 155 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,637 And, uh, 156 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:53,106 Sofa would come Around this way, Of course. 157 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,142 Ok? Now, uh... 158 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,044 That desk has got To come out of there. 159 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,012 You put the piano Into the bay, all right? 160 00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,782 That chrome and glass, You put into the harbor. 161 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,520 Tell you what, 162 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,121 I'd move into the warm Tones, all right? 163 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,591 Reupholster, re-drape The whole damn thing. 164 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,593 Splash a little bit Of paisley around. 165 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,595 Throw down A nice bokhara rug, 166 00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:17,097 Top it off with a fine Piece or two of chinoiserie, 167 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,031 And we're there. 168 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,236 Bite us, norm. We love you. 169 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,345 So what do you got In there, woodsky? 170 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:37,084 Oh, boy! My aunt edna's Killer fudge brownies! 171 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,752 Oh, killers, eh? 172 00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:39,887 Yeah, they're Called that 173 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,321 Because the first time My uncle ford 174 00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,455 Ever smelled them Baking, 175 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:43,657 He came running in From the field 176 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,025 And got hit By a combine. 177 00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:50,497 He hung on For a few days. 178 00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:53,533 At the end, he was Just praying to die. 179 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,268 Well, eat up, Everybody. 180 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,178 Hi, everybody. 181 00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,647 Oh, hey, rebecca. 182 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,381 Want a brownie? 183 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,350 Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. 184 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,652 A moment On the lips, 185 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,286 A lifetime On the hips. 186 00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:17,658 Cliff: you know, rebecca, 187 00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,059 I don't know why 188 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,828 You're so concerned About your figure? 189 00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,095 Back in the renaissance time, 190 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,264 Full-figured women Were revered. 191 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,666 Get out. 192 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:26,834 It's true. Yeah? 193 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,736 Yeah. Artists Would only paint 194 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,503 Big, voluptuous women. 195 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:33,774 In fact, that's how They got rid of a lot Of their old paint. 196 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:42,683 Speaking of weight And stuff, I got a riddle. 197 00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:43,917 Which is heavier: 198 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,853 A pound Of cliff's brain 199 00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:48,521 Or a pound Of dead flies? 200 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,123 It's a trick question. 201 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,092 A pound is a pound. They both weigh the same. 202 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:55,328 Go ahead. Ask me another Mr. Clavin's brain question. 203 00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,800 Ok. Let's see. Uh... 204 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,302 If you drop cliff's Brain and a bowling ball 205 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,437 Of the top of the empire State building-- 206 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,306 Yeah? 207 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:10,778 Norm, we had to rush over To tell you. 208 00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:12,445 The new window treatment You designed Just went up. 209 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,580 It is spectacular. 210 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:14,982 Are you speaking To another norm, 211 00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,817 Or do you have A death wish? 212 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,952 Frasier: Beg pardon? 213 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,487 You think I want These people to know 214 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:21,922 I'm an interior decorator? 215 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,490 We're sorry, norm. 216 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,493 It's just we simply Cannot moderate Our approbation. 217 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:27,928 Give it a shot, ok? 218 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:30,363 But you should Be decorating Professionally. 219 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:31,631 No, please. 220 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,566 Doing you both a favor Was one thing. 221 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,769 Any more of this Interior decorating junk 222 00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,170 Could really eat in To my reputation 223 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:41,408 As a lazy beer-guzzling lump Of mashed potatoes. 224 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,711 But, norm, You have a gift. 225 00:10:43,711 --> 00:10:46,479 Gift? Try curse, pal. 226 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,647 I spent my whole damn life 227 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,749 Trying to cover up The fact 228 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,150 That I have a great Sense of color 229 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,052 And I always know where To stick the ottoman. 230 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,955 It's a pity. You see, we've just met This new couple, 231 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,256 And they need A decorator. 232 00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,658 Dearest, norm has made His feelings clear. 233 00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,893 They're very well-off. 234 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,161 Frasier, it's not A matter of money. 235 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,763 They're willing To pay 5 figures. 236 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:03,997 But, frasier-- 237 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,799 Hey, elvira, Back off! 238 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,138 If the left side Of cliff's brain 239 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,773 Leaves new york On a train 240 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:15,275 Traveling 65 Miles per hour, 241 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:18,045 And the right side Of cliff's brain Leaves l.A.-- 242 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:20,313 Wait, wait, wait. Let me get a pencil. 243 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,903 Yeah! 244 00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,307 Damn, I am good! 245 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,376 Bring these people on. I'll wipe up the floor With this. 246 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,510 Who are they, anyhow? 247 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,512 Well, actually, They're friends of friends. 248 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,781 But I have to warn you. 249 00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:56,283 They're the essence Of the "Y" word. 250 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,919 That's the yuppie Word for yuppie. 251 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,888 Are you implying That I'm a yuppie? 252 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,489 Oh, forgive me. I erred. 253 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:05,158 And if I ever do it again, You may cut out my tongue 254 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:06,860 And serve it to me On a fajita. 255 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,430 [doorbell rings] 256 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:11,564 Well, here we go. 257 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:14,434 I'm gonna take one last look In the kitchen. 258 00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:20,407 Hi! We were just Talking about you. 259 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,508 Kiss, kiss. 260 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,110 Yes, yes. 261 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,878 Sorry we're late. We couldn't decide 262 00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:27,280 Whether to take The range rover Or the bmw. 263 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,316 Don't keep us In suspense. 264 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,951 The beamer. 265 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:33,120 Well, we're all here now. What fun. 266 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,088 Kir royales all around? 267 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,957 That's be great, Frais. 268 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,258 I can't get over 269 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,493 What your decorator Has done with this place. 270 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,363 It's warm, it's solid, It's real. 271 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,297 It's super. 272 00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,367 Oh, hi. What's going on? 273 00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,472 Hi 274 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,773 Kim and robert Cooperman, 275 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,176 I'd like you to meet Our decorator Norman peterson. 276 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,410 Hi. 277 00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,012 You know, This is the last Cold beer. 278 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,881 We could split it Or something. 279 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:03,650 No, thanks. We're taken care of. 280 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,518 Ok. Well, Suit yourself. 281 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:06,653 Sit down, everybody. 282 00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:09,456 It's beautiful And functional. 283 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,392 You know, frasier told me A little about your place, 284 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:16,796 So I did take the liberty Of jotting down A few ideas. 285 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:20,133 Uh, excuse me. Are those cocktail napkins? 286 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,836 Yeah. I'm sorry, Did you need one? 287 00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:25,238 No. 288 00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,406 Veggie pate? 289 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:29,943 Oh, yes, yes, please! I'm on empty over here. 290 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:32,079 Anyway... 291 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,984 I heard your place Is pretty modern, you know, 292 00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:39,819 And most of your stuff Is kind of gray. 293 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,221 So I thought, Maybe, you know, 294 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,356 Some, you know, Color would be good. 295 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:48,028 Actually, We hadn't totally Sold ourselves 296 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,729 On the concept Of change. 297 00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,364 Norm: oh. 298 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:53,833 You could keep Some of your old stuff 299 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,970 And, you know, throw in Some new stuff, too. 300 00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:00,573 Um... 301 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:04,878 Frais, could you help me With this wall treatment? 302 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:09,449 Sushi? I rolled it Myself. 303 00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,251 What's going on? I'm dying over here. 304 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,186 Well, it's not you, norm. It's them. 305 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,421 Yeah? 306 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:16,323 They're narrow-minded, Trend-sucking dilettantes 307 00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:19,826 Who insist that Their chefs be french, 308 00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,628 That their mechanics Be german, 309 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:23,863 And that their Designers be... 310 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,935 Stylish. 311 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,871 Oh. You mean... 312 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:32,805 Stylish. 313 00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,475 Very stylish. 314 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:36,643 Enough said, Frasier. 315 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,045 I'm sorry, norm. 316 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,047 This could have been A real lucrative job for you. 317 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,915 I don't know What to say. 318 00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:44,017 That's ok. I do. 319 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,454 Um... 320 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,291 Listen, uh... 321 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,160 Did I tell you That, uh, 322 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,328 Last night I programmed myself 323 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:58,365 To dream About your space? 324 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,183 Miss howe, I don't mean To insult you, 325 00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:17,985 But you're looking Kinda puny. 326 00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:19,719 Have you lost weight? 327 00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,321 Is this a setup? 328 00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,357 Did sam tell you To say that? 329 00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:27,727 No, ma'am. I told myself To say it. 330 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,096 I'm worried About you. 331 00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,230 If you're not careful, 332 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,564 You're gonna start Wasting away. 333 00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,300 And pretty soon, Your ribs will Start to show, 334 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,568 Like this guy back in Hanover, carl lefferts. 335 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:37,737 Of course, He'd been dead A while 336 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:40,073 When they found him. 337 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,674 Thank you, woody. 338 00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:44,544 That's the nicest thing Anyone's said to me all week. 339 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,517 Your hair's been looking Kind of ratty, too. 340 00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:55,588 Unfortunately, That's the second Nicest thing. 341 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:58,992 What, no kiss? 342 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,860 No. I've got To weigh myself. 343 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,562 We got your scale here Back here. 344 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,065 What's it doing Behind the bar? 345 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,766 We needed it To settle an argument 346 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,735 About how much mr. Clavin's Brain weighs. 347 00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:14,741 I think I am in For a pleasant surprise. 348 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:20,413 Mechanical voice: Your weight is 162 pounds. 349 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,481 What! 350 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,649 I-- 351 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,417 Malone! 352 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,319 Get out here! 353 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,888 I know what You just did! 354 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:31,891 Congratulations. 355 00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,660 Not you! I was talking-- 356 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,694 Forget it! 357 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,263 Ok, ok. 358 00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:40,367 Cliff's brain is found Murdered in a room. 359 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,402 All the doors And windows are locked. 360 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,671 Good. He's here. 361 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,173 Hello, norman! 362 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,440 What's going on? 363 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,608 Oh! Hi. 364 00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,977 No, no, no, let's Sit up here. 365 00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:53,313 Um, well! 366 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:54,881 Dick and della Tracy, 367 00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,583 How did you ever Track me down? 368 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,451 The address on The cocktail napkin 369 00:16:58,451 --> 00:16:59,819 You did your Sketches on. 370 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,289 You're good. 371 00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:03,723 You know, norman, 372 00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,525 We've never been In a gay bar before. 373 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,859 Yeah. 374 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,795 It seems just like A regular bar. 375 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:11,598 Honey, Look at those two. 376 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:20,440 Anyway, how about Some drinks. Miss? 377 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,474 Yeah? 378 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,144 No, I'll take Care of it. 379 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,213 He's kind of touchy Since the operation. 380 00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:30,883 Yo! 381 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,085 Wood-o, my friends And I need 382 00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:34,020 A couple of White wine spritzers 383 00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,922 And a beer--spritzer. 384 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,290 Are you feeling ok? 385 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:40,193 Sure. Very manly. Never more so. 386 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,763 Spritzers a toi On the way. 387 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,064 Thank you. 388 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,466 You know, norman, 389 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,335 We didn't just pop In here on a whim. 390 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:51,304 We love the work You did on our place So much 391 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:54,241 That we want you To do our mountain Retreat next. 392 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,309 Gee, I don't know. 393 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,410 My schedule's Kind of-- 394 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,212 We know It's inconvenient. 395 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:00,547 So can we double Your rate? 396 00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,815 Only because I love You kids so much. 397 00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:06,486 Listen, if you could Scope it out this weekend, That would be super. 398 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,821 Super. Super. Super. 399 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,024 I'm glad You can make it, 400 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,360 Because we have Another friend 401 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,395 We've been dying For you to meet. 402 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:18,165 And he's really cute. 403 00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,536 Um...He? 404 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,139 Well, unless somebody's Already snapped you up. 405 00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:28,308 Well... Yeah, darn it. 406 00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,543 I have been snapped up. 407 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,345 By, um... 408 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:33,580 That fellow over there. 409 00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:36,783 The one who had The operation? 410 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,485 Bite your tongue, No! 411 00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:41,921 No, the tall hunk Rinsing glasses. 412 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,690 Wait a minute. 413 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,626 Isn't that sam malone, The pitcher? 414 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:49,229 I've heard of him. Didn't he used to Play for the sox? 415 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:51,231 Uh...Yes. Yes. 416 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:53,433 But now he plays For me. 417 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:59,406 Oh, man, the guys At the gym are gonna freak! 418 00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:01,741 Why don't you bring him over And introduce him to us. 419 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,411 I think he's probably A little bit too busy Right now. 420 00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,717 All right. I'll get him. 421 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,220 Sam, could I have A word, please? 422 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,387 Yeah. Now. Come here. 423 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:17,624 Sam, I need A favor, pal. 424 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,226 Look, I have These clients. 425 00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:20,327 And they're Big fans of yours. 426 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:21,761 And it would Mean a lot 427 00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:24,096 If you could just Come over and say Hi to them. 428 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:25,632 Oh, yeah. No problem. 429 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,400 Thanks, sammy. Thanks, bud. 430 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,402 And one more thing, man, ok? 431 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,804 We're lovers. 432 00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:36,743 Kids... 433 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:37,910 This is sam malone. 434 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:40,247 Sam malone, This is kim and Robert cooperman. 435 00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:42,549 Pleased to meet you. 436 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:48,255 You sure do make A cute couple. 437 00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,659 Just accept The compliment, honey. 438 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:56,663 Thanks. 439 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:59,098 I have a confession To make. 440 00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:00,533 We came in here Tonight 441 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,835 To try to fix Norman up with Another man. 442 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,538 Naughty, naughty. 443 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:11,043 Naughty, naughty. 444 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,312 But since you two Are together, 445 00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:13,546 How about if The 4 of us 446 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,881 Spend a weekend An the cabin? 447 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:15,948 It'll be a hoot! 448 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,552 Is that good For you, sam? 449 00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,590 What do you mean, Is it good for me? 450 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,992 It stinks for me, Man. 451 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:28,060 I can't hack this. Don't do this to me. 452 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,762 Listen, I like Babes. 453 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:30,863 I love babes. 454 00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,499 And babes love me. 455 00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:34,667 Babes. Babes. 456 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,769 Babes. 457 00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,305 Babes. 458 00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:42,875 "Babes" is his pet word For linebackers. 459 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:44,711 Norman, I pride Myself 460 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:46,913 On being a very Perceptive person. 461 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,748 There's something amiss. 462 00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:53,019 Yeah. Sam and I Have had a tiff. 463 00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:58,691 Look, maybe meeting michael Is just the thing you need. 464 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,727 He lives right around The corner. Kim, go call him. 465 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:02,529 No. No, no, no, Folks, please. 466 00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:05,432 I can't go on with This any longer. 467 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,400 Look, I don't care if It costs me the job. 468 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,402 I gotta tell you The truth, ok? 469 00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:12,872 I wanted to be Your decorator, 470 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:15,342 So I pretended To be who I though You wanted me to be. 471 00:21:15,342 --> 00:21:16,776 But... 472 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:20,347 It's time I came Out of the closet. 473 00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:22,715 I'm straight. 474 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,585 Impossible. 475 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:29,255 No, no, I... 476 00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:30,523 Ever since I was a little boy, 477 00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:32,425 I've known that I prefer girls. 478 00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:35,362 Actually, I'm a guy With a wife. 479 00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:38,465 I mean, uh... I sleep with vera. 480 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:41,267 I sleep next to her. 481 00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:44,070 Actually it's in The room next to her, But, uh... 482 00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:45,672 I do keep the door open. 483 00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:48,975 But the point is... 484 00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:52,479 I think you should Judge people for What they do, 485 00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:56,015 Not for...Who they do. 486 00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:00,019 You're absolutely Right, norman. 487 00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:02,221 I can't believe we've been The perpetrators 488 00:22:02,221 --> 00:22:04,624 Of this kind of Discrimination. 489 00:22:04,624 --> 00:22:05,792 We'll see you, norman. 490 00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:07,727 No. Well, listen, Hey, folks, 491 00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:08,928 I can still, You know, 492 00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:11,698 Decorate your mountain Retreat, there. 493 00:22:11,698 --> 00:22:14,601 Kim and I happen To be people Of principle. 494 00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:16,803 And we put our trust In you, our faith. 495 00:22:16,803 --> 00:22:20,172 We trusted you with our Most prized possession-- Our home. 496 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:21,908 How did you Return that trust? 497 00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:23,610 You lied to us. You betrayed us. 498 00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:26,178 You made fools of us. 499 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:27,714 I could do it For half price. 500 00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:29,982 Here's the key. There's perrier in the fridge. 501 00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:31,718 If the neighbors ask, You're a plumber. 502 00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:33,453 Gotcha. Can do. Thank you so much. 503 00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:35,755 Thank you. 504 00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:56,576 How about those Celtics, huh? 505 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,848 What? What? 506 00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:02,782 What? 507 00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:05,418 Norm, how could you Do this to us? 508 00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:07,286 What? Do what? 509 00:23:07,286 --> 00:23:09,689 We're your Best friends. 510 00:23:09,689 --> 00:23:12,358 I can't believe That you didn't feel Close enough 511 00:23:12,358 --> 00:23:15,428 To share this part Of your life with us. 512 00:23:15,428 --> 00:23:16,929 This part? What? 513 00:23:16,929 --> 00:23:19,999 Guys, I'm straight. I'm not gay. 514 00:23:19,999 --> 00:23:21,701 Who cares about that? 515 00:23:21,701 --> 00:23:23,536 You can get stuff At wholesale! 516 00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:28,407 I need a sofa. Yeah? 517 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,209 And I could use a lamp. 518 00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:32,545 Can you get me a deal On a good barcalounger? 519 00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:34,213 All right. All right. 520 00:23:34,213 --> 00:23:35,482 But I have to tell You folks 521 00:23:35,482 --> 00:23:37,116 That I am not cheap. 522 00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:39,619 Even for Your lover? 523 00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:47,660 [theme music playing] 36283

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