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1
00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:05,190
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:08,516
I think if nobody minds,
I'll take my lunch now.
3
00:00:08,584 --> 00:00:09,517
Good.
4
00:00:09,585 --> 00:00:10,518
Coach, would you mind?
5
00:00:10,586 --> 00:00:11,519
Right down there.
6
00:00:11,587 --> 00:00:12,587
Here, honey.
7
00:00:12,655 --> 00:00:14,471
Yeah, I got some
lovely roast beef
8
00:00:14,540 --> 00:00:16,040
for a sandwich.
9
00:00:16,109 --> 00:00:17,902
Oh... Carla, if it bothers you,
10
00:00:17,926 --> 00:00:19,826
I could eat in the back.
11
00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:22,429
Oh, no, no, I was a
little nauseous before,
12
00:00:22,498 --> 00:00:23,997
but I'm fine now.
13
00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:25,449
Oh, great.
14
00:00:25,518 --> 00:00:28,018
You know, I'm starting to
feel a little hungry myself.
15
00:00:28,087 --> 00:00:30,354
Would you mind handing
me my lunch there, Coach?
16
00:00:30,423 --> 00:00:31,922
There you go, honey.
17
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,157
Thanks.
18
00:00:33,225 --> 00:00:34,725
Thank you.
19
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,646
Mind if I join you, Diane?
20
00:00:39,715 --> 00:00:41,481
Not at all.
21
00:00:43,302 --> 00:00:44,362
Mmm.
22
00:00:44,386 --> 00:00:45,569
You know,
23
00:00:45,638 --> 00:00:49,223
that's another thing
about pregnancy...
24
00:00:49,292 --> 00:00:50,924
You get cravings.
25
00:00:50,993 --> 00:00:53,894
Green olive... red pimiento...
26
00:00:56,331 --> 00:00:59,283
nice, juicy anchovy.
27
00:01:03,823 --> 00:01:07,390
Now you open the
little anchovy's mouth...
28
00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:14,030
a red pimiento, stuff it
into the anchovy's mouth...
29
00:01:15,601 --> 00:01:17,417
sugar...
30
00:01:19,354 --> 00:01:20,654
I... I think
31
00:01:20,723 --> 00:01:24,941
I've just lost my
appetite... forever.
32
00:01:27,646 --> 00:01:29,246
Works every time.
33
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:38,488
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
34
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:41,591
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
35
00:01:41,661 --> 00:01:44,294
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
36
00:01:44,363 --> 00:01:47,731
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
37
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,600
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
38
00:01:50,670 --> 00:01:53,554
♪ ♪ ♪
39
00:01:53,622 --> 00:01:55,455
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
40
00:01:55,524 --> 00:02:01,011
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
41
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:05,599
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
42
00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:08,151
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
43
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:10,688
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
44
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:15,942
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
45
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,545
♪ You want to go
where people know ♪
46
00:02:18,614 --> 00:02:21,081
♪ People are all the same ♪
47
00:02:21,150 --> 00:02:25,051
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
48
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:29,123
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT PICTURES
49
00:02:49,344 --> 00:02:50,511
Evening, everybody.
50
00:02:50,579 --> 00:02:52,613
Norm!
51
00:02:52,681 --> 00:02:53,758
Beer, Norm?
52
00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:55,399
That's that sudsy
amber stuff, right?
53
00:02:55,468 --> 00:02:56,867
Yeah.
54
00:02:56,935 --> 00:02:59,055
Yeah, I've been hearing
good things about it.
55
00:02:59,955 --> 00:03:01,405
How's it going, Norm?
56
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,907
Don't ask.
57
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:04,753
It's no fun looking
for work, Sammy.
58
00:03:06,095 --> 00:03:07,295
You going out on interviews?
59
00:03:07,329 --> 00:03:09,613
Three today.
60
00:03:09,681 --> 00:03:12,283
My résumé, right?
61
00:03:12,351 --> 00:03:16,370
Last guy I show it to
reads it, laughs in my face.
62
00:03:16,438 --> 00:03:17,915
Why would he do
something like that?
63
00:03:20,259 --> 00:03:21,741
Well, I'm sorry.
64
00:03:21,811 --> 00:03:26,146
It's just that, uh... well,
it's pretty skimpy, isn't it?
65
00:03:26,215 --> 00:03:29,416
Uh... you were born,
worked at one company
66
00:03:29,484 --> 00:03:31,518
and you're five foot ten.
67
00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:33,753
What you got to do
68
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:35,388
is pep this up a little bit.
69
00:03:35,457 --> 00:03:36,323
No, no, no, it's cheating.
70
00:03:36,392 --> 00:03:37,402
No, no, it's pepping it up.
71
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:38,825
Look, I mean, everybody does it.
72
00:03:38,894 --> 00:03:39,934
It's expected of it.
73
00:03:40,896 --> 00:03:42,874
You just take what's here...
74
00:03:42,898 --> 00:03:44,531
just spice it up a bit?
75
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,099
Yeah.
76
00:03:46,168 --> 00:03:47,662
Ooh, lookee.
77
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:51,138
There's Diane and her
date back from the weekend.
78
00:03:51,207 --> 00:03:54,524
Uh... thanks for
dropping me off, Walter.
79
00:03:54,593 --> 00:03:56,626
Bye-bye.
80
00:03:58,831 --> 00:04:00,541
You want to hear
me do it one last time?
81
00:04:00,565 --> 00:04:02,815
Uh... no, Walter.
82
00:04:02,884 --> 00:04:04,617
I have to get to work now.
83
00:04:04,686 --> 00:04:05,830
Twenty-eight.
84
00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:06,998
Why don't you introduce me
85
00:04:07,022 --> 00:04:08,355
to your co-workers?
86
00:04:08,424 --> 00:04:10,201
I'm sure they'd get
a bang out of this.
87
00:04:10,225 --> 00:04:11,624
Oh, I don't really think that,
88
00:04:11,693 --> 00:04:13,793
um... Hello, Sam.
89
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,946
Walter Franklin, Sam Malone.
90
00:04:16,014 --> 00:04:16,947
How do you do?
91
00:04:17,015 --> 00:04:18,015
Ten.
92
00:04:19,318 --> 00:04:20,879
Uh... he's able to
tell you instantly
93
00:04:20,903 --> 00:04:23,114
how many letters there
are in any sentence you say.
94
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,504
Sixty-six.
95
00:04:26,525 --> 00:04:27,758
Why, that's quite a gift.
96
00:04:27,827 --> 00:04:28,827
Fifteen.
97
00:04:31,613 --> 00:04:32,946
Been at it all weekend.
98
00:04:33,015 --> 00:04:34,359
How many days did it seem like?
99
00:04:34,383 --> 00:04:35,383
Twenty-four.
100
00:04:43,525 --> 00:04:46,759
Listen, Walter, I have
to go to work now.
101
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:49,529
Thanks again for
a lovely weekend.
102
00:04:49,598 --> 00:04:51,882
Two sentences: 30 and 28.
103
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:54,696
Stop doing that, Walter.
104
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:55,636
Nineteen.
105
00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:56,336
I mean it!
106
00:04:56,405 --> 00:04:57,654
Seven.
107
00:04:58,673 --> 00:04:59,773
Well, really,
108
00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:01,141
that's enough of this now.
109
00:05:01,210 --> 00:05:02,210
I better get going.
110
00:05:02,244 --> 00:05:03,244
Good-bye, Diane.
111
00:05:03,278 --> 00:05:04,510
Nice seeing you, Sam.
112
00:05:04,579 --> 00:05:05,729
Yeah.
113
00:05:05,798 --> 00:05:07,164
Four.
114
00:05:07,232 --> 00:05:08,648
By the way, Walter...
115
00:05:08,717 --> 00:05:09,949
Fourteen.
116
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:11,218
Uh... yeah, Sam, what is it?
117
00:05:11,287 --> 00:05:13,871
How was Diane on
a scale of a hundred?
118
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:15,338
Twenty-nine.
119
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,198
Quite a catch.
120
00:05:26,902 --> 00:05:28,301
Thank you.
121
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,970
So is a largemouth bass.
122
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:36,326
Walter happens to be a
distinguished geneticist.
123
00:05:36,395 --> 00:05:38,812
Oh, he studies genets.
124
00:05:40,149 --> 00:05:42,716
Nice to be back.
125
00:05:42,785 --> 00:05:44,546
Okay, Sammy, we're rolling here.
126
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:46,314
Those job offers ought to start
127
00:05:46,338 --> 00:05:48,333
pouring in now, huh?
128
00:05:48,357 --> 00:05:50,440
"Norm Peterson...
Thought-provoking,
129
00:05:50,509 --> 00:05:53,576
"poignant, hilarious, a
roller coaster of emotions.
130
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:56,246
"If you hire only one
accountant this year,
131
00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:57,781
make it Norm Peterson."
132
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,084
What is this?
133
00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:03,620
He had the paper open
to the movie section, Sam.
134
00:06:05,124 --> 00:06:07,541
Here's the part
I like best, Sam.
135
00:06:07,609 --> 00:06:10,009
It says "At last, an accountant
136
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,478
the whole family can go see."
137
00:06:13,765 --> 00:06:16,733
It's no use, Sammy... nobody's
going to hire me anyway.
138
00:06:16,802 --> 00:06:18,168
Hey, come on, hang in there.
139
00:06:18,237 --> 00:06:19,464
Come on, Norm.
140
00:06:19,488 --> 00:06:21,282
Have you ever thought
about doing anything else
141
00:06:21,306 --> 00:06:22,539
besides, you know, accounting?
142
00:06:22,608 --> 00:06:24,419
Well, I was in the
motor pool in the service.
143
00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:26,570
Learned a little
something about engines.
144
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,694
Yeah, like what?
145
00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:30,044
How to use them for shade.
146
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,233
Let's go have a look
at these want ads.
147
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,037
Well...
148
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,972
hello there.
149
00:06:39,041 --> 00:06:40,940
Did you have a nice weekend?
150
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:43,393
Oh, I had a wonderful weekend.
151
00:06:43,462 --> 00:06:45,562
Went to Martha's Vineyard,
152
00:06:45,631 --> 00:06:49,299
long walks on the beach,
hiked over the dunes,
153
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,151
crisscrossed the
island on bicycle.
154
00:06:52,220 --> 00:06:53,770
Still couldn't lose him, huh?
155
00:06:56,308 --> 00:06:58,609
You know, you are the
last person in the world
156
00:06:58,677 --> 00:07:00,310
who should take shots
157
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:02,379
at somebody else's
choice of dates...
158
00:07:03,499 --> 00:07:06,266
not with the coterie
of Betty Boops
159
00:07:06,334 --> 00:07:10,036
you squander your time,
money and hormones on.
160
00:07:10,105 --> 00:07:12,088
Hey, I date terrific women.
161
00:07:12,158 --> 00:07:13,723
Yes,
162
00:07:13,792 --> 00:07:15,425
and talented.
163
00:07:15,493 --> 00:07:18,761
Without them, the art of gum
snapping might be lost forever.
164
00:07:19,798 --> 00:07:21,698
At least my dates don't count
165
00:07:21,766 --> 00:07:24,050
the number of
letters in sentences.
166
00:07:24,119 --> 00:07:26,537
Your dates can't form sentences.
167
00:07:27,689 --> 00:07:30,657
Okay, all right, you
like dating nerds?
168
00:07:30,726 --> 00:07:32,125
Nerds it is.
169
00:07:32,194 --> 00:07:34,194
Well, the next time
I decide to go out,
170
00:07:34,263 --> 00:07:35,629
I'll check with you first.
171
00:07:35,698 --> 00:07:37,213
That would be a very good idea.
172
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,912
I suppose you know better
than I whom I should date.
173
00:07:41,936 --> 00:07:43,553
As a matter of fact, I do, lady.
174
00:07:43,622 --> 00:07:46,990
I could set you up with
the best date you ever had.
175
00:07:47,059 --> 00:07:48,208
That's ridiculous.
176
00:07:48,277 --> 00:07:49,342
I could.
177
00:07:49,411 --> 00:07:50,977
You want me to?
178
00:07:51,046 --> 00:07:53,646
Would you let me set you up?
179
00:07:53,715 --> 00:07:55,798
Yeah, why not?
180
00:07:59,404 --> 00:08:00,603
I'm tempted to do this...
181
00:08:00,672 --> 00:08:02,832
just to see what kind
of a joke you'd bring in.
182
00:08:02,875 --> 00:08:04,636
I haven't had a good
laugh for a week.
183
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:06,275
Certainly not in a weekend.
184
00:08:06,344 --> 00:08:07,344
I resent that.
185
00:08:07,396 --> 00:08:09,262
Eleven.
186
00:08:14,019 --> 00:08:15,930
All right,
Mr. Matchmaker, you're on.
187
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,338
Let's set each
other up. You got it.
188
00:08:18,407 --> 00:08:21,040
You're not going to pull
out on me now, are you?
189
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:24,377
No... you go out with
mine; I'll go out with yours.
190
00:08:24,446 --> 00:08:25,912
Tomorrow night?
191
00:08:25,981 --> 00:08:27,180
Well, I'll have...
192
00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:30,462
I just thought
193
00:08:30,486 --> 00:08:33,202
of the perfect woman.
194
00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:37,056
Yes! Bright, witty,
attractive... perfect.
195
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,691
Oh...
196
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,037
This is great, I can't wait.
197
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:40,994
All right, okay.
198
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,663
8:30 tomorrow night?
199
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,399
Two drafts.
200
00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:50,587
Uh... Carla, Carla, who, uh...
201
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,573
who do I know who would
be a good match for Diane?
202
00:08:53,642 --> 00:08:55,575
Um... what about that guy
203
00:08:55,644 --> 00:08:58,778
you used to play ball
with, Fred Wilson?
204
00:08:58,847 --> 00:09:00,530
Fred's dead, Carla.
205
00:09:02,301 --> 00:09:04,651
So? She has to drive.
206
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:05,652
No, hey...
207
00:09:05,721 --> 00:09:06,670
Hey, no, I'm seri...
208
00:09:06,739 --> 00:09:07,671
Hey, I'm serious, Coach.
209
00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:08,816
I mean, who do you think?
210
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,106
You know something, Sam?
211
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,175
I always thought
212
00:09:11,209 --> 00:09:12,876
you'd make a
great date for Diane.
213
00:09:12,944 --> 00:09:14,244
Oh, Coach, that's crazy.
214
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,414
Or is it?
215
00:09:17,483 --> 00:09:19,283
Let me think about that.
216
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:23,548
Of course, that's
what she's doing.
217
00:09:23,572 --> 00:09:24,821
Oh, that's cute.
218
00:09:24,889 --> 00:09:25,905
That is cute.
219
00:09:25,974 --> 00:09:27,007
Gee, thanks, Sam.
220
00:09:27,075 --> 00:09:28,186
I have lost a few pounds.
221
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:29,220
No, no, no, no,
222
00:09:29,244 --> 00:09:30,372
not you, Coach.
223
00:09:30,396 --> 00:09:32,039
I mean, don't you
see what she's doing?
224
00:09:32,063 --> 00:09:34,564
She's setting me
up with herself.
225
00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:36,466
Why, that little scamp.
226
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,629
Yeah.
227
00:09:37,653 --> 00:09:39,130
Yeah, you heard what she said:
228
00:09:39,154 --> 00:09:41,454
bright, witty, attractive,
the perfect girl.
229
00:09:41,523 --> 00:09:42,922
She's talking about herself.
230
00:09:43,008 --> 00:09:44,836
Who else could
she be talking about?
231
00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:46,140
She's not going to bring
232
00:09:46,178 --> 00:09:48,039
another girl in here
tomorrow night.
233
00:09:48,063 --> 00:09:49,974
She wants to go
out with me herself.
234
00:09:49,998 --> 00:09:50,930
I kind of like that.
235
00:09:50,999 --> 00:09:51,931
Our first date.
236
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,200
Thanks, Coach.
237
00:09:53,235 --> 00:09:54,667
Thanks.
238
00:09:54,736 --> 00:09:56,481
If there's anything
I can do for you,
239
00:09:56,505 --> 00:09:57,982
you just let me know, all right?
240
00:09:58,006 --> 00:10:00,373
Well, Sam, by the way, there is.
241
00:10:00,442 --> 00:10:01,858
One little thing.
242
00:10:01,926 --> 00:10:03,427
If you got some time later on,
243
00:10:03,495 --> 00:10:05,195
could you please tell me
244
00:10:05,264 --> 00:10:07,130
what the hell we
were talking about?
245
00:10:07,199 --> 00:10:09,048
You bet, you bet.
246
00:10:09,117 --> 00:10:10,667
I'm looking forward to it.
247
00:10:13,471 --> 00:10:15,772
Well, I'm feeling like
quite the matchmaker.
248
00:10:15,841 --> 00:10:17,507
I called my friend.
249
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:20,055
She said she'd love
to go out with Sam.
250
00:10:22,964 --> 00:10:24,244
Carla...
251
00:10:25,550 --> 00:10:29,719
you have any idea who
Sam has in store for me?
252
00:10:33,492 --> 00:10:34,492
No.
253
00:10:53,128 --> 00:10:56,625
Hey, Sammy, you're looking
pretty sharp there tonight.
254
00:10:56,649 --> 00:10:58,097
Yeah, what's the
occasion there, Sam?
255
00:10:58,166 --> 00:11:01,885
I've got a very big blind date.
256
00:11:01,954 --> 00:11:03,003
Uh-oh, blind date.
257
00:11:03,072 --> 00:11:05,038
Isn't that a little risky there?
258
00:11:05,107 --> 00:11:06,356
Not in this case.
259
00:11:06,425 --> 00:11:07,452
Coach?
260
00:11:07,476 --> 00:11:09,142
Sam.
261
00:11:25,827 --> 00:11:28,156
Ah, Sammy, watching
you get ready for a date
262
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:31,159
is like watching a great
matador prepare for a bullfight.
263
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:34,267
I hate that stuff.
264
00:11:34,336 --> 00:11:36,181
You know, who wants to
see a guy go and manipulate
265
00:11:36,205 --> 00:11:38,083
and torment a poor,
unthinking creature like that?
266
00:11:38,107 --> 00:11:40,440
Hey, I always buy
them breakfast, don't I?
267
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,877
But lookee here...
268
00:11:43,945 --> 00:11:45,879
Here comes Diane.
269
00:11:45,948 --> 00:11:47,814
Strangest thing...
270
00:11:47,883 --> 00:11:49,098
She appears to be alone.
271
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:51,212
Mind if I sit here, Sammy?
272
00:11:51,236 --> 00:11:52,569
Enjoy.
273
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:57,391
Hello, everyone.
274
00:11:57,459 --> 00:11:58,257
Hi, Diane.
275
00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,326
Hi, Diane.
276
00:11:59,394 --> 00:12:02,662
Sam, ready for your date?
277
00:12:02,731 --> 00:12:03,680
I certainly am.
278
00:12:03,749 --> 00:12:04,681
Are you for yours?
279
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,650
Oh, as I'll ever be.
280
00:12:06,719 --> 00:12:07,734
Is he here?
281
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,116
Kind of a dumb
question, isn't it?
282
00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:13,240
Of course he's here.
283
00:12:13,308 --> 00:12:15,008
Present and accounted for.
284
00:12:15,077 --> 00:12:18,828
But... wherever is my
date for the evening?
285
00:12:20,082 --> 00:12:23,233
Oh, she, um... she
went to lock the car.
286
00:12:24,236 --> 00:12:25,551
She what?
287
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,371
Gretchen went back to
make sure her car was locked.
288
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,606
Gretchen?
289
00:12:29,675 --> 00:12:30,874
The point is,
290
00:12:30,943 --> 00:12:33,087
she is a woman
of substance, Sam.
291
00:12:33,111 --> 00:12:35,006
She's going to challenge you.
292
00:12:35,030 --> 00:12:36,129
Gretchen?
293
00:12:36,198 --> 00:12:37,130
Yes.
294
00:12:37,199 --> 00:12:38,265
Oh, here she is.
295
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,145
Gretchen Darrow, Sam Malone.
296
00:12:40,169 --> 00:12:41,268
Hello.
297
00:12:41,336 --> 00:12:42,336
Hi.
298
00:12:43,088 --> 00:12:45,408
Yes, you and Gretchen
have a lot in common.
299
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,859
She's a grad student working
on her thesis in kinesiology.
300
00:12:48,927 --> 00:12:50,393
Ah, small world.
301
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,980
That's the study of
physical movement, Sam.
302
00:12:54,049 --> 00:12:55,382
Ah.
303
00:12:55,451 --> 00:12:56,716
Akin to athletics.
304
00:12:56,785 --> 00:12:57,785
Uh-huh.
305
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:02,539
She also lettered
in three sports.
306
00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:03,973
So, you're the Sam Malone
307
00:13:04,042 --> 00:13:06,226
that used to pitch
for the Sox, right?
308
00:13:06,295 --> 00:13:09,779
Yeah, yeah, as a
matter of fact, I am, I am.
309
00:13:09,848 --> 00:13:11,181
Uh... Coach,
310
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,567
why don't you get Gretchen
here something to drink?
311
00:13:13,636 --> 00:13:14,568
Sure.
312
00:13:14,637 --> 00:13:15,736
Thanks, Sam.
313
00:13:17,706 --> 00:13:19,523
I can't believe this.
314
00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:20,873
I knew you'd like her.
315
00:13:20,942 --> 00:13:23,054
I'm a pretty good
judge of people.
316
00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:25,678
So... let's see how you are.
317
00:13:25,747 --> 00:13:27,247
Where's my guy?
318
00:13:28,817 --> 00:13:29,817
Your guy...
319
00:13:29,884 --> 00:13:31,884
Well, as a matter
of fact, he, uh...
320
00:13:31,953 --> 00:13:34,187
he's in the, uh...
in the pool room.
321
00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:37,738
Shut up.
322
00:13:38,794 --> 00:13:41,144
I'll just go back and
get him right now.
323
00:13:41,213 --> 00:13:43,613
You just, uh... hang on here.
324
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:49,786
He's, uh... probably
right back here.
325
00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:57,410
Oh...
326
00:14:06,104 --> 00:14:08,271
Excuse me.
327
00:14:08,339 --> 00:14:09,556
What's your name?
328
00:14:09,625 --> 00:14:11,458
Andy.
329
00:14:11,527 --> 00:14:12,559
Why?
330
00:14:12,628 --> 00:14:14,694
Well, what are you
doing tonight, Andy?
331
00:14:14,763 --> 00:14:15,940
Why do you ask?
332
00:14:15,964 --> 00:14:17,097
Oh, no, no, no.
333
00:14:17,165 --> 00:14:18,965
Hey, no, I got...
334
00:14:19,034 --> 00:14:20,700
I got an extra girl on my hands.
335
00:14:20,769 --> 00:14:21,969
Oh, I see.
336
00:14:22,037 --> 00:14:25,305
It's worth $20 if
you'll go out with her.
337
00:14:25,374 --> 00:14:27,602
Why would you give me
20 bucks to take out a girl?
338
00:14:27,626 --> 00:14:29,053
The 20 bucks is not
to go out with her.
339
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,309
It's for a little lie.
340
00:14:30,378 --> 00:14:32,156
Pretend like we've known
each other for a long time
341
00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:33,500
and that we set
this up yesterday.
342
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,332
What do you... huh?
343
00:14:35,401 --> 00:14:36,599
My name's Sam, by the way.
344
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:37,668
Sam.
345
00:14:37,719 --> 00:14:39,247
Yeah, I probably
know that, don't I?
346
00:14:39,271 --> 00:14:40,637
Yeah, that's
great, that's great.
347
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,417
Sam, what if this
girl doesn't like me?
348
00:14:42,441 --> 00:14:43,373
That's all right.
349
00:14:43,442 --> 00:14:44,608
She doesn't like anybody.
350
00:14:53,719 --> 00:14:56,486
What are you looking
at, endomorph?
351
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,807
Uh, nothing.
352
00:15:01,876 --> 00:15:03,543
Nothing... sir.
353
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:06,663
Here we go, Andy.
354
00:15:06,732 --> 00:15:08,948
I'd like you to meet
Diane, and this is Gretchen.
355
00:15:10,685 --> 00:15:12,085
I finally meet Gretchen.
356
00:15:12,153 --> 00:15:14,471
Boy, Sam talks about
you all the time...
357
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:17,190
Gretchen, Gretchen, Gretchen.
358
00:15:17,259 --> 00:15:18,474
He just met me.
359
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:21,094
But I knew you'd be
coming along any day.
360
00:15:21,163 --> 00:15:24,564
No, this is your date,
Diane Chambers, Andy.
361
00:15:24,633 --> 00:15:26,465
Hello.
362
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:27,950
How do you do?
363
00:15:28,019 --> 00:15:32,922
Diane, I'd like you to meet
my good buddy, Andy... Andy.
364
00:15:32,991 --> 00:15:34,474
Andy Andy.
365
00:15:35,777 --> 00:15:37,257
Well, that should be
easy to remember.
366
00:15:40,098 --> 00:15:41,843
How do you two know each other?
367
00:15:41,867 --> 00:15:42,949
Well, uh...
368
00:15:43,018 --> 00:15:44,629
Boy, she asks good
questions, doesn't she?
369
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:45,653
Good question.
370
00:15:45,687 --> 00:15:47,131
We, uh... we met in the pool...
371
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:48,254
At the Y, pool at the Y.
372
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:50,323
We do a lot of swimming,
floating, kicking,
373
00:15:50,392 --> 00:15:51,691
all your basic water sports.
374
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,877
Hey, now we're getting
into your area of expertise,
375
00:15:53,946 --> 00:15:55,312
aren't we, Gretchen?
376
00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:58,114
Swimming is one of the finest
cardiopulmonary exercises.
377
00:15:58,183 --> 00:16:00,528
It's... it's also wonderful
for the development
378
00:16:00,552 --> 00:16:02,130
of all the major muscle groups,
379
00:16:02,154 --> 00:16:03,531
particularly the
latissimus dorsi.
380
00:16:04,723 --> 00:16:06,317
Boy, I bet you're
kicking yourself
381
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:07,741
that I got to her first, huh?
382
00:16:07,809 --> 00:16:09,354
Okay, we're going
to take off now.
383
00:16:09,378 --> 00:16:10,543
You two have a good time.
384
00:16:10,612 --> 00:16:12,862
Oh, you two, too.
385
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:16,232
Andy Andy and I...
386
00:16:16,301 --> 00:16:17,700
we'll have fun fun.
387
00:16:19,238 --> 00:16:21,316
So... what do you think, Andy?
388
00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:23,584
How does Italian
food sound, huh?
389
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:27,810
Oh, boy, I've been hungry
for Italian food all day.
390
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,280
Anywhere but... Villa Milano.
391
00:16:30,349 --> 00:16:32,883
That's... that's bad
memories for me.
392
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,252
I... I killed a waitress there.
393
00:16:40,175 --> 00:16:41,252
We'll double.
394
00:16:41,276 --> 00:16:43,326
Did you hear what he said?
395
00:16:44,363 --> 00:16:46,563
Aah! No, no...
396
00:16:49,768 --> 00:16:53,152
Hey, listen, Coach, you're
not going to believe this.
397
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,065
I was just talking to
the guys in the back.
398
00:16:55,089 --> 00:16:58,074
I'd like to believe it, Carla.
399
00:16:58,143 --> 00:17:02,044
No, no, Coach, not that.
400
00:17:02,113 --> 00:17:05,665
You know who that guy that
Sam just set Diane up with is?
401
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,044
Who?
402
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,901
He just got out of the pen
403
00:17:08,970 --> 00:17:11,704
after doing ten years
for manslaughter.
404
00:17:16,127 --> 00:17:17,647
Oh, hey, that must be them now.
405
00:17:17,712 --> 00:17:19,979
Yeah, I saw them taking
off on a motorcycle.
406
00:17:20,048 --> 00:17:22,682
You mean, Diane
had to ride piggyback
407
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:23,916
on a motorcycle?
408
00:17:23,985 --> 00:17:25,945
That's great.
409
00:17:25,971 --> 00:17:28,855
You didn't think we were going
to make that last jump, did you?
410
00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:40,083
Well, here we are.
411
00:17:40,152 --> 00:17:42,536
Anybody need anything?
412
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,237
A five-minute head start.
413
00:17:45,474 --> 00:17:47,240
Why don't we just sit
down here and, uh...
414
00:17:47,309 --> 00:17:50,410
pick up the conversation
where we left off?
415
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:56,983
So... where were we?
416
00:18:00,355 --> 00:18:02,772
Yeah, that... that was about it.
417
00:18:02,841 --> 00:18:06,593
You ever dream
that you have claws?
418
00:18:07,896 --> 00:18:09,279
That's it for me.
419
00:18:09,348 --> 00:18:11,081
I... I've got to run.
420
00:18:11,149 --> 00:18:12,315
Don't... don't get up.
421
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:13,384
I'm warning you.
422
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:15,635
Good night, all.
423
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:20,673
If you'll excuse me,
424
00:18:20,742 --> 00:18:22,876
I'm going to go scrape
the bugs off my teeth.
425
00:18:33,271 --> 00:18:37,440
Well... I guess that just about
does it there for you, Andy.
426
00:18:37,509 --> 00:18:39,459
Thank you very much.
427
00:18:39,528 --> 00:18:41,294
Thank you.
428
00:18:41,363 --> 00:18:43,496
Sam, everything all right?
429
00:18:43,565 --> 00:18:45,198
Oh, perfect.
430
00:18:45,267 --> 00:18:46,749
Hard to tell.
431
00:18:46,818 --> 00:18:48,684
She didn't say much...
432
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:51,054
except for that little
scream she let out
433
00:18:51,122 --> 00:18:53,723
when I asked the
waiter for a sharper knife.
434
00:18:56,228 --> 00:18:57,443
Bye.
435
00:19:06,455 --> 00:19:07,837
Is he...?
436
00:19:07,906 --> 00:19:09,823
He's gone, yes.
437
00:19:17,899 --> 00:19:19,565
In that case...
438
00:19:21,937 --> 00:19:23,453
let me just say...
439
00:19:26,158 --> 00:19:33,729
Of all the cheap, small-minded,
creepy, sophomoric pranks
440
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:37,417
you have perpetrated in your
long arrested adolescence,
441
00:19:37,485 --> 00:19:41,287
this is far and away the worst!
442
00:19:43,191 --> 00:19:45,408
How could you, Sam?
443
00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:50,530
So he wasn't your ideal date?
444
00:19:50,599 --> 00:19:52,749
I'm big enough to
admit when I'm wrong.
445
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,257
Did you really think
this was amusing?
446
00:19:55,286 --> 00:19:57,820
Did you have lots
of laughs planning it?
447
00:19:57,889 --> 00:19:59,555
Diane, I swear to you,
448
00:19:59,624 --> 00:20:00,924
I wasn't trying to be funny.
449
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,391
What were you trying to do?
450
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:04,577
All... the truth is,
451
00:20:04,645 --> 00:20:07,046
I... I never saw the
guy before in my life.
452
00:20:07,115 --> 00:20:08,881
I met him in the back room,
453
00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:11,434
and I... paid him
to go out with you.
454
00:20:15,623 --> 00:20:18,992
You hired a murderer to
take me out for the evening.
455
00:20:23,147 --> 00:20:26,632
Well... it's... it's kind of funny
when you put it that way.
456
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:31,471
Oh, look... see, I
actually didn't think
457
00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:34,240
that you were going
to get me a girl.
458
00:20:34,309 --> 00:20:36,242
What did you think I'd get you?
459
00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:37,777
Well, I... I thought...
460
00:20:37,846 --> 00:20:39,311
Well, I guess I...
461
00:20:39,381 --> 00:20:44,884
I thought that you... were
talking about us... you and me.
462
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,554
I thought that you thought...
463
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:52,675
you were the ideal date
for me and vice versa.
464
00:20:55,230 --> 00:20:57,296
Really?
465
00:20:57,365 --> 00:20:59,160
You thought that I...
466
00:20:59,184 --> 00:21:00,116
that we...
467
00:21:00,185 --> 00:21:01,801
I... I'm embarrassed.
468
00:21:01,869 --> 00:21:03,636
I am so embarrassed, I...
469
00:21:06,257 --> 00:21:08,157
Well, I... I understand.
470
00:21:10,529 --> 00:21:12,011
Poor Sam.
471
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,163
Thank you so much.
472
00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:14,391
My God...
473
00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:18,061
Wait a minute...
wait, wait, wait.
474
00:21:18,085 --> 00:21:20,953
What do you... what do
you mean "poor Sam"?
475
00:21:21,022 --> 00:21:24,791
I didn't realize you were
carrying such a torch for me.
476
00:21:26,428 --> 00:21:29,707
No, I didn't say I was
carrying a torch for you.
477
00:21:29,731 --> 00:21:33,043
I said I thought you were
carrying a torch for me.
478
00:21:33,067 --> 00:21:36,603
I'm certainly not
carrying a torch for you.
479
00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:39,350
Well, then I'm not
carrying a torch for you.
480
00:21:39,374 --> 00:21:40,406
Ha! My, my.
481
00:21:40,475 --> 00:21:41,635
Fine.
482
00:21:42,711 --> 00:21:43,951
Did you...?
483
00:21:45,913 --> 00:21:47,396
Sam...
484
00:21:51,302 --> 00:21:58,307
If you'll admit that you are
carrying a little torch for me,
485
00:21:58,377 --> 00:22:02,161
I'll admit that I'm carrying
a little one for you.
486
00:22:10,254 --> 00:22:13,906
Well, I am... carrying
a little torch for you.
487
00:22:13,975 --> 00:22:18,010
Well... I'm not
carrying one for you.
488
00:22:20,982 --> 00:22:23,650
Hey, well, then I'm not
carrying one for you either.
489
00:22:23,718 --> 00:22:24,718
You just said you were.
490
00:22:24,753 --> 00:22:25,796
No, no, no, no, no.
491
00:22:25,820 --> 00:22:27,298
I said that only
to get you to admit
492
00:22:27,322 --> 00:22:28,399
that you are, that's all.
493
00:22:28,423 --> 00:22:30,356
Sam, you're making
a fool of yourself.
494
00:22:30,425 --> 00:22:32,859
Would you just admit that
you're hung up on me, damn it?
495
00:22:32,927 --> 00:22:33,593
I am not.
496
00:22:33,661 --> 00:22:34,594
You are, too.
497
00:22:34,662 --> 00:22:35,612
I am not!
498
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,391
Please, please, do you think
499
00:22:37,415 --> 00:22:39,696
I'd behave like
this in your home?
500
00:22:42,637 --> 00:22:45,138
Sorry.
501
00:22:45,206 --> 00:22:48,041
Well, we are being
awfully childish about this.
502
00:22:48,109 --> 00:22:49,042
Well, maybe.
503
00:22:49,110 --> 00:22:50,776
Let's leave it at this:
504
00:22:50,845 --> 00:22:52,429
I'm rubber and you're glue.
505
00:22:52,497 --> 00:22:55,565
Everything you say bounces
off me and sticks to you.
506
00:22:55,634 --> 00:22:57,550
You love me! You love me!
507
00:22:57,618 --> 00:22:59,602
I do... I do not!
508
00:22:59,671 --> 00:23:01,070
Do, too! Do, too! Do, too!
509
00:23:01,139 --> 00:23:02,004
Do not! Do not!
510
00:23:02,073 --> 00:23:03,550
Do, too! Do, too! Do, too!
511
00:23:03,574 --> 00:23:04,574
Not! Not! Not!
512
00:23:04,642 --> 00:23:06,943
Not! Not! Not!
513
00:23:07,011 --> 00:23:10,596
That is the most embarrassing
display I have ever seen.
514
00:23:10,665 --> 00:23:12,648
You're absolutely right, Cliff.
515
00:23:12,717 --> 00:23:16,202
Anybody can look at them
and see she's crazy about him.
516
00:23:16,270 --> 00:23:17,315
Are you crazy?
517
00:23:17,339 --> 00:23:18,916
He's nuts about her.
518
00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:23,153
I don't want to hear it.
519
00:23:23,177 --> 00:23:24,555
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
520
00:23:24,579 --> 00:23:27,246
Oh, for crying out loud!
35003
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