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1
00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:12,436
Oh, hey, Diane, do
me a favor, will you?
2
00:00:12,504 --> 00:00:14,232
Pour Mischa there
a real quick beer?
3
00:00:14,256 --> 00:00:17,408
Coming right up, Mischa.
4
00:00:22,431 --> 00:00:24,481
There you go.
5
00:00:29,689 --> 00:00:32,957
Sam, what is he
doing with his hand?
6
00:00:33,025 --> 00:00:36,143
He's a cymbals player
for the symphony
7
00:00:36,212 --> 00:00:38,090
and they're in the
middle of a concert.
8
00:00:38,114 --> 00:00:39,580
He's counting out a long rest,
9
00:00:39,648 --> 00:00:41,359
so he'll know exactly
when to get back
10
00:00:41,383 --> 00:00:42,532
for the big finish.
11
00:00:43,819 --> 00:00:46,887
Ah! Fascinating.
12
00:00:46,956 --> 00:00:49,051
Okay, that's $1.25 out of $20,
13
00:00:49,075 --> 00:00:50,102
that's $1.50,
14
00:00:50,126 --> 00:00:54,277
$1.75, $2, $3, $4,
$5, $10, and $20.
15
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:55,696
Geez!
16
00:00:58,134 --> 00:01:00,250
Musicians are very
temperamental.
17
00:01:07,243 --> 00:01:09,843
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
18
00:01:09,912 --> 00:01:12,946
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
19
00:01:13,015 --> 00:01:15,649
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
20
00:01:15,717 --> 00:01:19,086
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
21
00:01:19,155 --> 00:01:22,022
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
22
00:01:24,993 --> 00:01:26,827
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
23
00:01:26,896 --> 00:01:32,366
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
24
00:01:32,435 --> 00:01:36,970
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
25
00:01:37,039 --> 00:01:39,523
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
26
00:01:39,592 --> 00:01:42,059
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
27
00:01:42,127 --> 00:01:47,331
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
28
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,933
♪ You want to go
where people know ♪
29
00:01:50,002 --> 00:01:52,470
♪ People are all the same ♪
30
00:01:52,538 --> 00:01:56,440
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
31
00:01:56,509 --> 00:02:00,494
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT PICTURES
32
00:02:18,281 --> 00:02:20,614
Afternoon, everybody.
33
00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:21,631
Norm!
34
00:02:21,701 --> 00:02:22,632
Norman.
35
00:02:22,702 --> 00:02:23,901
How's life, Norm?
36
00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:26,587
Not for the squeamish, Coach.
37
00:02:28,073 --> 00:02:29,506
Norm, what's the matter?
38
00:02:29,575 --> 00:02:31,052
You're shaking there like a
meringue in an earthquake.
39
00:02:31,076 --> 00:02:33,055
My whole career
as an accountant,
40
00:02:33,079 --> 00:02:36,280
I just sat in my cubicle,
kept my mouth shut, right?
41
00:02:36,348 --> 00:02:38,999
Today, I made the mistake
of volunteering for something.
42
00:02:39,068 --> 00:02:40,284
For what?
43
00:02:40,353 --> 00:02:43,236
Every year the firm
has this company party.
44
00:02:43,305 --> 00:02:44,438
Yeah?
45
00:02:44,507 --> 00:02:45,700
Guess who's party
director this year?
46
00:02:45,724 --> 00:02:46,957
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
47
00:02:47,026 --> 00:02:49,204
Let met guess. Let me
guess. I'm good at guessing.
48
00:02:49,228 --> 00:02:50,811
Uh, Julius LaRosa?
49
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:54,665
Warm, Coach... me.
50
00:02:54,734 --> 00:02:57,367
Gee, I should have taken
more time, huh, Sam?
51
00:02:57,436 --> 00:02:59,203
Probably.
52
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,083
So, how come you
volunteered, Norm?
53
00:03:02,107 --> 00:03:04,219
Chance to make
points with the big boss.
54
00:03:04,243 --> 00:03:06,676
Last year, some
nobody named Jensen
55
00:03:06,746 --> 00:03:09,012
threw a luau in the parking lot.
56
00:03:09,081 --> 00:03:10,092
It was a big hit.
57
00:03:10,116 --> 00:03:12,127
You know where
that man is today?
58
00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:16,253
Leaning over my shoulder,
saying, "Add faster!"
59
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,561
Norman,
60
00:03:17,590 --> 00:03:19,300
I don't know what
you're so upset about.
61
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,892
It sounds like a great
opportunity to me.
62
00:03:21,961 --> 00:03:23,327
Uh, that's what I thought.
63
00:03:23,395 --> 00:03:25,963
After I volunteered, I
realized, I never threw a party.
64
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:29,366
I killed a few...
65
00:03:31,019 --> 00:03:33,854
Hey, what's the big deal, huh?
66
00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,222
You want some excitement?
67
00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:37,658
You pay a sexy chick
to jump out of a cake.
68
00:03:37,727 --> 00:03:39,204
Or if you want to
save a little money,
69
00:03:39,228 --> 00:03:40,372
you could get Carla to do it,
70
00:03:40,396 --> 00:03:41,728
couldn't you?
71
00:03:41,797 --> 00:03:42,813
Carla, Carla...
72
00:03:42,881 --> 00:03:45,532
Diane, strippers
aren't enough here.
73
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:47,362
All right, Norm, will
you relax, will you?
74
00:03:47,386 --> 00:03:48,319
Life's too short.
75
00:03:48,387 --> 00:03:49,737
Cliff, you don't understand.
76
00:03:49,822 --> 00:03:51,933
We're talking about a
hundred accountants.
77
00:03:51,957 --> 00:03:54,224
Their lives are incredibly
dull all week long.
78
00:03:54,293 --> 00:03:55,776
We got to do something special
79
00:03:55,845 --> 00:03:58,829
to turn those guys
on, wake them up.
80
00:03:58,897 --> 00:04:00,580
Norm, the best
party I was ever at
81
00:04:00,649 --> 00:04:02,082
was in a locker room, right?
82
00:04:02,151 --> 00:04:04,351
We're all standing
around in our underwears
83
00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:06,053
pouring champagne on each other.
84
00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:08,388
Guys flinging guys into showers.
85
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:09,907
It was terrific, Norm.
86
00:04:09,976 --> 00:04:12,821
Coach, that was after we'd
won the division championship.
87
00:04:12,845 --> 00:04:15,646
That's right. That's why
we were all in Cleveland.
88
00:04:15,715 --> 00:04:16,915
Right.
89
00:04:19,118 --> 00:04:22,052
Hey, Norm, I got a great idea.
90
00:04:22,121 --> 00:04:23,620
Have yourself a hot tub party.
91
00:04:23,689 --> 00:04:24,621
What?
92
00:04:24,690 --> 00:04:25,989
Yeah, it's the latest craze
93
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:27,257
out there in California.
94
00:04:27,325 --> 00:04:30,861
You know, your,
your weirdo central.
95
00:04:30,929 --> 00:04:32,524
You get a bunch of
people in a hot tub
96
00:04:32,548 --> 00:04:34,326
you never can tell
what's going to happen.
97
00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:36,128
I mean, just today I,
uh, I was delivering
98
00:04:36,152 --> 00:04:38,297
two copies of, what is it,
Star Parade magazine?
99
00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:39,964
Guess who's on
the cover in a hot tub.
100
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:42,740
Julius LaRosa.
101
00:04:42,808 --> 00:04:44,653
No, it was Burt Reynolds, Coach.
102
00:04:44,677 --> 00:04:46,743
Boy, I used to be
so good at this game.
103
00:04:46,812 --> 00:04:47,923
I did think
104
00:04:47,947 --> 00:04:49,563
of one little
icebreaker, you know.
105
00:04:49,631 --> 00:04:51,065
I go through this year's audits.
106
00:04:51,133 --> 00:04:52,065
Yeah.
107
00:04:52,134 --> 00:04:53,195
Find the biggest mistakes
108
00:04:53,219 --> 00:04:54,150
and Xerox them
109
00:04:54,219 --> 00:04:56,753
and pass them around.
110
00:04:56,822 --> 00:04:59,089
We're talking monster laughs.
111
00:05:00,810 --> 00:05:03,376
You're a maniac, Normie.
112
00:05:03,445 --> 00:05:06,180
Norman, perhaps I
can give you an idea
113
00:05:06,248 --> 00:05:08,282
that you could actually use.
114
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,534
I think parties are the most fun
115
00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:14,004
when you can shed your
everyday, mundane identity
116
00:05:14,072 --> 00:05:15,806
and come as someone else.
117
00:05:15,875 --> 00:05:17,123
Back in college, I held
118
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,742
a party where everyone came
119
00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:20,794
as their favorite
Elizabethan poet.
120
00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:23,797
I remember...
121
00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,148
It was so great.
122
00:05:25,217 --> 00:05:27,433
I chose Christopher Marlowe
123
00:05:27,502 --> 00:05:30,320
because I was deeply
into Dr. Faustus at the time
124
00:05:30,389 --> 00:05:31,705
but I still get
125
00:05:31,774 --> 00:05:34,959
letters from people who
loved it, Norman... loved it.
126
00:05:35,027 --> 00:05:36,793
Say, didn't we use to have
127
00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:39,396
a weekly Elizabethan
poet night here?
128
00:05:39,465 --> 00:05:41,381
Yeah, it started
getting too rowdy, so...
129
00:05:41,450 --> 00:05:42,382
Oh, yeah, yeah.
130
00:05:42,451 --> 00:05:43,929
Yeah, I remember the night
131
00:05:43,953 --> 00:05:45,964
you were charged with, uh,
practicing iambic pentameter
132
00:05:45,988 --> 00:05:47,488
without a license there.
133
00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:51,257
You know, Sam, if I'm to serve
134
00:05:51,326 --> 00:05:53,760
both as a waitress
and the butt of jokes
135
00:05:53,829 --> 00:05:55,863
I think I should
make more money.
136
00:05:55,931 --> 00:05:58,565
Yeah, what does a good
butt make in this town?
137
00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:04,004
Okay, Norman, in
keeping with the spirit
138
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:06,773
of this establishment
and its patrons,
139
00:06:06,842 --> 00:06:09,743
I suggest you get
totally down in the mud
140
00:06:09,812 --> 00:06:11,495
and throw a toga party.
141
00:06:11,564 --> 00:06:12,762
A toga party?
142
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,210
You mean like, uh, where
they dress up in sheets?
143
00:06:15,234 --> 00:06:16,616
Oh, I'm sure you'd love it.
144
00:06:16,685 --> 00:06:19,319
It's a stupid
fraternity tradition
145
00:06:19,388 --> 00:06:21,438
where a bunch of
borderline humans
146
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:24,774
stand around swilling beer
and vomiting on themselves
147
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:28,345
until the inevitable denouement
when they raise the robes
148
00:06:28,414 --> 00:06:31,114
to reveal the depths
of their personalities.
149
00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:33,867
Hallelujah, I am saved.
150
00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:35,035
Yo!
151
00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:36,503
Yes, sir, I can see it.
152
00:06:36,572 --> 00:06:37,905
This is going to make
153
00:06:37,973 --> 00:06:39,568
that luau look like a pig roast.
154
00:06:39,592 --> 00:06:40,657
Easily. Easily.
155
00:06:40,726 --> 00:06:41,992
Sammy, can I use Cheers?
156
00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:44,089
I'll pay you half what
you think it's worth.
157
00:06:44,113 --> 00:06:45,212
How can I pass that up?
158
00:06:45,281 --> 00:06:46,797
I got a lot to do here.
159
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:49,599
I should just go home
and close myself off
160
00:06:49,668 --> 00:06:51,601
and work out all the details.
161
00:06:51,670 --> 00:06:52,747
Great. Good luck, Norm.
162
00:06:52,771 --> 00:06:54,471
Nah, I can do that
in the bathroom.
163
00:07:15,677 --> 00:07:16,877
Sam.
164
00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:22,282
These people aren't
dressed in togas, are they?
165
00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:23,650
No, Coach.
166
00:07:23,718 --> 00:07:26,019
I thought it was supposed
to be a toga party.
167
00:07:26,088 --> 00:07:27,154
It is.
168
00:07:27,222 --> 00:07:29,455
Well, I must be
getting my spells again.
169
00:07:29,524 --> 00:07:31,202
I thought I had them licked.
170
00:07:31,226 --> 00:07:32,904
No, no, no, no,
you're all right, Coach.
171
00:07:32,928 --> 00:07:33,861
You sure?
172
00:07:33,929 --> 00:07:35,009
Yeah, you're all right.
173
00:07:35,064 --> 00:07:36,263
These people just haven't
174
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:38,243
gotten into the
spirit of the party yet.
175
00:07:38,267 --> 00:07:41,235
Oh. Thanks, Sam.
176
00:07:41,303 --> 00:07:42,636
Ah! Here comes Diane.
177
00:07:42,704 --> 00:07:44,904
The gang in the backroom's
ready for another order, huh?
178
00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:46,339
Uh... not yet.
179
00:07:46,408 --> 00:07:47,808
It's been an hour and a half.
180
00:07:47,876 --> 00:07:50,077
What are they doing,
watching their ice melt?
181
00:07:50,146 --> 00:07:52,496
Actually, Sam, things
are quite peppy back there.
182
00:07:52,565 --> 00:07:54,676
There's one fellow,
who, believe it or not,
183
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:56,683
can recite every area
code in the country.
184
00:07:56,752 --> 00:08:00,420
We're talking dazzling
entertainment here.
185
00:08:00,489 --> 00:08:02,384
Sam, can you spring
me for a few minutes?
186
00:08:02,408 --> 00:08:03,540
I gotta see this.
187
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,676
Enjoy, Coach.
188
00:08:06,745 --> 00:08:07,955
Listen, if this guy
189
00:08:07,979 --> 00:08:10,347
knows Laramie,
Wyoming, I'll croak.
190
00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:14,367
Boy, this party stinks.
191
00:08:14,436 --> 00:08:15,769
An itch.
192
00:08:15,838 --> 00:08:18,321
Well, maybe we
should do something
193
00:08:18,390 --> 00:08:20,168
to help pick it up, huh?
194
00:08:20,192 --> 00:08:21,325
I got an idea. Listen.
195
00:08:21,393 --> 00:08:23,193
Why don't you go
back to my office.
196
00:08:23,262 --> 00:08:24,761
Uh... top drawer of my desk,
197
00:08:24,830 --> 00:08:26,863
you'll find two
tassels and a G-string.
198
00:08:26,932 --> 00:08:28,699
I'll hum "Night
Train" and you...
199
00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:29,700
No, come on...
200
00:08:29,768 --> 00:08:30,768
Get out.
201
00:08:32,237 --> 00:08:36,106
Let the games begin!
202
00:08:37,092 --> 00:08:38,859
Holy...
203
00:08:46,835 --> 00:08:51,504
Well, you all got the date
right, so I know you can read.
204
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:55,003
You, how come
you're not in a toga?
205
00:08:55,027 --> 00:08:56,293
I was afraid everybody else
206
00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:57,494
was going to chicken out
207
00:08:57,562 --> 00:08:58,728
and I'd be the only one.
208
00:08:58,798 --> 00:09:01,331
Look like a ridiculous fool.
209
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,667
Good point.
210
00:09:03,735 --> 00:09:04,868
Jensen.
211
00:09:04,937 --> 00:09:06,270
Nice suit.
212
00:09:08,607 --> 00:09:09,807
Hello, there.
213
00:09:13,412 --> 00:09:15,145
Why did I volunteer?
214
00:09:15,214 --> 00:09:16,613
I'm a dead man.
215
00:09:19,084 --> 00:09:20,195
Sam, you got somebody
216
00:09:20,219 --> 00:09:22,699
lying in state in the backroom?
217
00:09:24,072 --> 00:09:27,274
Nobody's moved for
a, an hour and a half.
218
00:09:27,342 --> 00:09:29,009
Hey, Normie, I like it.
219
00:09:29,078 --> 00:09:32,079
You look like the
Pillsbury Dough Monster.
220
00:09:33,582 --> 00:09:35,298
How come you're late?
221
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,561
I had car trouble.
222
00:09:36,585 --> 00:09:39,086
You try flagging down
help dressed like this.
223
00:09:42,758 --> 00:09:44,535
Where, uh, where's your wife?
224
00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:46,238
Why isn't she at the party?
225
00:09:46,262 --> 00:09:48,645
She didn't hear about it.
226
00:09:51,116 --> 00:09:53,427
This is the worst party yet.
227
00:09:53,451 --> 00:09:56,920
Thanks loads for
the toga idea, Diane.
228
00:09:56,989 --> 00:10:00,057
Well, Norman, all you
need is a little icebreaker.
229
00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:01,058
Yeah?
230
00:10:01,126 --> 00:10:02,209
Let me help.
231
00:10:03,445 --> 00:10:04,577
Okay, everybody.
232
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,046
Um... how about a round
233
00:10:06,115 --> 00:10:08,732
of that always enjoyable
game... Charades?
234
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,951
I'll start off. Um...
235
00:10:13,138 --> 00:10:15,405
Movie title.
236
00:10:15,473 --> 00:10:17,173
Four words.
237
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:19,459
First word.
238
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:25,815
"My."
239
00:10:25,884 --> 00:10:26,884
Sounds like...
240
00:10:26,951 --> 00:10:28,251
Eye.
241
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,440
I'll give you the first
one to get you going.
242
00:10:30,489 --> 00:10:32,155
Okay. Second word.
243
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,937
What am I doing here?
244
00:10:35,961 --> 00:10:37,241
Eating, huh?
245
00:10:37,279 --> 00:10:39,173
Doesn't this look like
eating and drinking?
246
00:10:39,197 --> 00:10:40,513
When do we eat and drink?
247
00:10:40,582 --> 00:10:42,749
"Dinner!" My Dinner...
248
00:10:42,818 --> 00:10:44,501
Third word.
249
00:10:46,171 --> 00:10:47,854
What is this?
250
00:10:47,923 --> 00:10:49,122
It's little, isn't it?
251
00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,024
It's a little word.
252
00:10:51,093 --> 00:10:52,291
"W." Begins with a "W."
253
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,893
Little word begins... "With."
254
00:10:53,962 --> 00:10:55,262
My Dinner with... My...
255
00:10:55,331 --> 00:10:59,082
My Dinner with Julius LaRosa.
256
00:10:59,150 --> 00:11:01,834
That's it.
257
00:11:03,122 --> 00:11:05,055
Okay, Ogden, Utah?!
258
00:11:05,124 --> 00:11:06,667
801!
259
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,793
Hold it down,
everybody... It's the phone!
260
00:11:12,597 --> 00:11:14,531
I feel it! I feel that beat!
261
00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:17,833
Get up off your seat
and on your feet!
262
00:11:17,902 --> 00:11:19,269
It's limbo time!
263
00:11:19,337 --> 00:11:20,553
Yeah!
264
00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:26,709
Come on! Everybody!
265
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,731
Hey! Come on down!
266
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:35,518
Come on! Last year you
ate a pig with your fist.
267
00:11:35,587 --> 00:11:36,752
What's going on?
268
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,155
Come on! Hey! Ho...
269
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,859
Pack of nerds.
270
00:11:44,546 --> 00:11:45,695
No, Norm, Norm.
271
00:11:45,763 --> 00:11:47,330
That was a message for you.
272
00:11:47,399 --> 00:11:50,349
Somebody named Ruta
can't make it tonight.
273
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,569
Oh, no, Ruta's the
girl I had coming down
274
00:11:52,637 --> 00:11:54,053
to entertain the big boss.
275
00:11:55,073 --> 00:11:57,324
This can't be happening.
276
00:11:57,392 --> 00:11:59,204
First I throw the worst party
277
00:11:59,228 --> 00:12:00,827
in the history of mankind.
278
00:12:00,895 --> 00:12:03,140
Now I got no date
for the big boss.
279
00:12:03,164 --> 00:12:05,715
You mean you got to set
your boss up with a woman?
280
00:12:05,784 --> 00:12:08,218
Yeah, that's one of the
party director's duties.
281
00:12:08,287 --> 00:12:11,154
Why don't you ask
one of the women here?
282
00:12:11,223 --> 00:12:13,790
Or does your boss
like live things?
283
00:12:17,062 --> 00:12:18,322
Carla, do you suppose you...?
284
00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:20,080
Oh, no, no, no,
Norm, don't look at me.
285
00:12:20,148 --> 00:12:22,615
I got four kids and I sure
ain't looking for any more.
286
00:12:22,684 --> 00:12:24,429
I didn't say to have
sex with the guy.
287
00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:25,880
Doesn't matter.
288
00:12:25,904 --> 00:12:28,288
I'm what you call
a fast breeder.
289
00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:31,591
A man winks at me,
I'm three months along.
290
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:35,745
I need a woman!
291
00:12:35,814 --> 00:12:39,132
Does anybody need anything?
292
00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:42,536
Hallelujah!
293
00:12:58,019 --> 00:13:00,286
All right, let's see if
I've got this straight.
294
00:13:00,355 --> 00:13:02,388
You want me to entertain a man
295
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:03,490
I've never met.
296
00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:04,869
All I'm asking you to do
297
00:13:04,893 --> 00:13:06,070
is pour the guy a few drinks
298
00:13:06,094 --> 00:13:07,327
and chat with him.
299
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:09,558
You don't have to go
home with him or anything.
300
00:13:09,582 --> 00:13:11,782
Although, if you do, I'll drive.
301
00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:14,211
I'm joking around,
Diane. Come on.
302
00:13:14,235 --> 00:13:16,269
Norman, I'm going to
walk away from here
303
00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:18,772
and pretend that you
never asked me to do this.
304
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,018
Hey, Diane,
305
00:13:20,042 --> 00:13:22,169
this could work out
for you, too, you know?
306
00:13:22,193 --> 00:13:23,371
You might like this guy.
307
00:13:23,395 --> 00:13:24,928
He's intelligent, he's educated.
308
00:13:24,996 --> 00:13:26,730
He went to Harvard
Business School.
309
00:13:26,799 --> 00:13:27,731
Sam?
310
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,749
You know, it's true.
311
00:13:29,818 --> 00:13:31,429
I can't believe that
your job depends
312
00:13:31,453 --> 00:13:33,231
on you finding some
woman for this guy.
313
00:13:33,255 --> 00:13:34,587
That's right.
314
00:13:34,656 --> 00:13:36,956
What you're doing is
demeaning and dehumanizing
315
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,736
not just to me, but to yourself.
316
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:39,693
I get it.
317
00:13:39,761 --> 00:13:42,362
You think I'm a kissy, right?
318
00:13:42,431 --> 00:13:44,364
It's easy for you two to talk.
319
00:13:44,433 --> 00:13:45,866
Diane's attractive.
320
00:13:45,934 --> 00:13:47,133
She's got brains.
321
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:50,403
Sammy... hey, good-looking
guy, baseball star.
322
00:13:50,472 --> 00:13:51,671
I've got nothing.
323
00:13:51,740 --> 00:13:52,939
My only hope in life
324
00:13:53,008 --> 00:13:54,785
is to find somebody
who's got something,
325
00:13:54,809 --> 00:13:56,293
and try to make them like me.
326
00:13:56,361 --> 00:13:57,555
Yeah, yeah. Norm...
327
00:13:57,579 --> 00:13:59,162
So long as there
are boots to be licked
328
00:13:59,231 --> 00:14:01,164
apples to be polished,
and fannies to be kissed
329
00:14:01,233 --> 00:14:02,233
I'll be there.
330
00:14:05,170 --> 00:14:06,803
First time I ever saw a man
331
00:14:06,871 --> 00:14:08,971
strut and grovel
at the same time.
332
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,224
Hey, you know,
333
00:14:11,292 --> 00:14:13,426
Norm is kind of in
a jam here tonight.
334
00:14:15,881 --> 00:14:18,398
Now you want me to do this.
335
00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:19,810
It wouldn't be so bad, would it?
336
00:14:19,834 --> 00:14:22,402
You are. You're asking
me to do this, aren't you?
337
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,648
What's the big deal?
338
00:14:23,672 --> 00:14:25,550
I mean, you sit down,
probably some old guy
339
00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:27,814
you have a couple of
drinks, he'll fall asleep...
340
00:14:27,842 --> 00:14:30,543
Hello, Mr. Sawyer, sir. Welcome.
341
00:14:35,066 --> 00:14:38,651
Well, Norman's a friend.
342
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,537
I guess I could
give the old geezer
343
00:14:40,606 --> 00:14:42,039
a couple minutes of my time.
344
00:14:42,107 --> 00:14:44,853
Sir, we are all terribly
honored and thrilled
345
00:14:44,877 --> 00:14:46,721
that you could make it here..
346
00:14:46,745 --> 00:14:48,211
Yeah, I like your sheet.
347
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,715
This old thing?
348
00:14:51,783 --> 00:14:52,716
Come on, sir.
349
00:14:52,784 --> 00:14:53,928
Why don't you just
come down here
350
00:14:53,952 --> 00:14:55,062
and I'll show you a seat.
351
00:14:55,086 --> 00:14:56,464
Oh, why don't you let
me do that, Norman?
352
00:14:56,488 --> 00:14:57,787
I know the place.
353
00:14:57,856 --> 00:14:59,534
I'll never forget this, Diane.
354
00:14:59,558 --> 00:15:01,608
Mr. Sawyer, Diane Chambers.
355
00:15:01,676 --> 00:15:02,871
Friend of mine.
356
00:15:02,895 --> 00:15:03,977
Nice to meet you, Diane.
357
00:15:04,046 --> 00:15:05,206
Nice to meet you.
358
00:15:06,464 --> 00:15:07,842
Why don't you
two sit right here?
359
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,399
You, mm.
360
00:15:15,073 --> 00:15:17,874
Well, what would
you like to drink?
361
00:15:17,943 --> 00:15:21,995
Uh... scotch, rocks.
362
00:15:22,063 --> 00:15:23,663
Uh, barkeep,
363
00:15:23,732 --> 00:15:25,198
a little service, please?
364
00:15:28,203 --> 00:15:30,870
Mr. Sawyer will
have scotch, rocks
365
00:15:30,939 --> 00:15:33,539
and... hmm, let's see,
what am I in the mood for?
366
00:15:33,608 --> 00:15:35,848
How about a good beating?
367
00:15:38,013 --> 00:15:39,791
Perhaps a vermouth cassis.
368
00:15:39,815 --> 00:15:41,776
Fine. If you need
anything else tonight
369
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,444
please, just snap
your fingers...
370
00:15:43,468 --> 00:15:45,151
in several places.
371
00:15:45,219 --> 00:15:47,587
I guess working at a
bar makes you grumpy.
372
00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,619
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
373
00:15:51,643 --> 00:15:53,877
We're Eddie Barnett
and the Eddie Barnetters.
374
00:15:53,946 --> 00:15:55,746
Okay, it's request time.
375
00:15:55,814 --> 00:15:57,947
Shout 'em out.
376
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:06,806
"Chicago"?
377
00:16:06,875 --> 00:16:09,742
One of Eddie's
favorites... "Chicago."
378
00:16:21,957 --> 00:16:23,901
Norm, this band is the worst.
379
00:16:23,925 --> 00:16:25,391
I don't understand it.
380
00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:27,961
They sounded so
good over the phone.
381
00:16:28,897 --> 00:16:30,446
So, you're an art student, huh?
382
00:16:30,515 --> 00:16:31,659
Yes.
383
00:16:31,683 --> 00:16:32,927
I really always
wanted to be a painter.
384
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,668
I must tell you it
is so refreshing
385
00:16:35,737 --> 00:16:37,381
to meet someone like you.
386
00:16:37,405 --> 00:16:38,521
Yeah?
387
00:16:38,590 --> 00:16:39,901
Yeah. Someone in business
388
00:16:39,925 --> 00:16:41,418
who enjoys the finer things.
389
00:16:41,442 --> 00:16:43,643
Here you go. One for you...
390
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:44,795
Thank you.
391
00:16:44,863 --> 00:16:47,630
One for your lady
of the evening.
392
00:16:53,488 --> 00:16:55,287
Here's to a sparkling
conversationalist.
393
00:16:55,356 --> 00:16:57,607
Oh, thank you.
394
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:01,355
You know, I'd normally
ask you to go out
395
00:17:01,379 --> 00:17:03,480
and find someplace
to talk through the night
396
00:17:03,549 --> 00:17:05,315
but I don't think
we'd find any place
397
00:17:05,383 --> 00:17:06,583
as quiet at this.
398
00:17:10,456 --> 00:17:12,956
Is something wrong
with your drink?
399
00:17:13,024 --> 00:17:14,201
Yes, it's a little watered down.
400
00:17:14,225 --> 00:17:15,225
I'll take it back.
401
00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:16,438
No, no, no. That's all right.
402
00:17:16,462 --> 00:17:18,205
I know the bartender.
I'll take care of it.
403
00:17:18,229 --> 00:17:19,469
I'll be right back.
404
00:17:23,618 --> 00:17:25,684
Do you have a
problem, Mr. Malone?
405
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:27,648
Listen, I know
you're a light drinker
406
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:30,106
and I didn't want you to
get carried away tonight
407
00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:31,869
and do something
you might regret.
408
00:17:31,893 --> 00:17:34,478
You're not at all bothered
409
00:17:34,546 --> 00:17:37,747
that I'm spending
time with Herb?
410
00:17:37,816 --> 00:17:39,783
Herb?
411
00:17:39,852 --> 00:17:41,268
No, no.
412
00:17:41,336 --> 00:17:43,036
None of my business, really.
413
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:46,139
Looks a little seamy, but
seaminess has its place.
414
00:17:46,207 --> 00:17:50,143
Well, a moment ago
you were encouraging it.
415
00:17:50,211 --> 00:17:52,712
A moment ago the
guy was 85 years old.
416
00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:54,597
Oh, I see.
417
00:17:54,666 --> 00:17:56,099
An old man is fine
418
00:17:56,168 --> 00:18:00,470
but one whose kidneys
are still functioning is taboo.
419
00:18:00,539 --> 00:18:03,222
Look, look, like I said,
it's none of my business
420
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:06,626
but this guy expects you
to be his for the evening...
421
00:18:06,695 --> 00:18:09,295
the whole evening.
Know what I mean?
422
00:18:09,363 --> 00:18:13,199
Sam, we are having a
harmless conversation about art.
423
00:18:13,268 --> 00:18:14,429
Do you know what I think?
424
00:18:14,453 --> 00:18:15,385
What?
425
00:18:15,454 --> 00:18:16,597
I think you're a little bothered
426
00:18:16,621 --> 00:18:18,101
by the fact that he's
so good-looking.
427
00:18:19,123 --> 00:18:20,940
That's what you
consider good-looking?
428
00:18:21,009 --> 00:18:22,942
The guy's got padded shoulders
429
00:18:23,011 --> 00:18:26,713
and I bet that's not
even his real lips.
430
00:18:26,781 --> 00:18:29,215
He's gorgeous and
it's driving you crazy.
431
00:18:29,283 --> 00:18:30,349
No, it's not.
432
00:18:30,418 --> 00:18:31,618
Yeah, it's killing you
433
00:18:31,686 --> 00:18:33,886
that there's another
attractive man in your bar,
434
00:18:33,922 --> 00:18:36,455
another rooster
in your henhouse.
435
00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:40,176
The day goes so much
easier for me now that we got
436
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,178
those little cup of
soups in the office, sir.
437
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:43,680
If that was your
idea, Mr. Sawyer
438
00:18:43,749 --> 00:18:45,965
you are a genius.
439
00:18:46,034 --> 00:18:47,578
Norm, how about
I buy you a drink?
440
00:18:47,602 --> 00:18:48,985
Well, thank you.
441
00:18:49,054 --> 00:18:50,515
Why don't you just set
sail for the bar over there
442
00:18:50,539 --> 00:18:52,317
and have yourself a good time?
443
00:18:52,341 --> 00:18:53,840
That's wonderful, sir.
444
00:18:53,908 --> 00:18:57,276
Diane, I understand there's
a pool table in the backroom.
445
00:18:57,346 --> 00:18:58,378
How about a game?
446
00:18:58,447 --> 00:19:00,792
Okay. I've never played before
447
00:19:00,816 --> 00:19:03,382
but why should
that stop us, huh?
448
00:19:03,451 --> 00:19:05,518
Thank you for that
conversation, sir.
449
00:19:05,586 --> 00:19:07,236
I know I'm the better for it.
450
00:19:07,305 --> 00:19:09,356
Hi, there.
451
00:19:09,424 --> 00:19:10,890
Hello.
452
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:15,729
That is a good-looking guy.
453
00:19:15,797 --> 00:19:17,864
Uh-oh, I felt something kick.
454
00:19:28,410 --> 00:19:29,410
Well, now you know
455
00:19:29,478 --> 00:19:31,422
why I never go to these things.
456
00:19:31,446 --> 00:19:35,081
Kind of strange getting that
reaction from people, huh?
457
00:19:35,150 --> 00:19:36,294
I like to think
458
00:19:36,318 --> 00:19:37,928
it's the money and
position and not me.
459
00:19:37,952 --> 00:19:40,220
Oh, I can assure
you it's not you.
460
00:19:42,174 --> 00:19:44,318
I think Sawyer likes Diane.
461
00:19:44,342 --> 00:19:46,154
I'm on my way, big guy.
462
00:19:46,178 --> 00:19:48,561
Norm, you know, you're
really sickening tonight.
463
00:19:48,630 --> 00:19:49,873
I know, Sam.
464
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:52,315
I'm not proud of myself
465
00:19:52,384 --> 00:19:53,984
but then I never am.
466
00:19:56,521 --> 00:19:58,171
Mm.
467
00:20:01,276 --> 00:20:03,927
Well, "Simon Says" is my game.
468
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,155
Yeah.
469
00:20:05,197 --> 00:20:06,529
I'm great at that.
470
00:20:06,597 --> 00:20:08,709
Yeah. Well, maybe I
can help you out here.
471
00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:11,834
I think I can teach you to
play in a couple of minutes.
472
00:20:11,903 --> 00:20:13,303
Oh, all right.
473
00:20:13,371 --> 00:20:15,788
Why don't you just put
your left hand down like that
474
00:20:15,857 --> 00:20:17,990
and grab the end
with your other hand.
475
00:20:18,059 --> 00:20:19,759
I'm not in the way here, am I?
476
00:20:19,828 --> 00:20:22,027
Diane, you smell
wonderful. What is it?
477
00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:23,980
Thank you. Dandruff shampoo.
478
00:20:26,701 --> 00:20:28,101
I like it.
479
00:20:28,169 --> 00:20:30,469
I don't flake for hours.
480
00:20:30,538 --> 00:20:32,238
Uh, uh, Herb, wait a minute.
481
00:20:32,306 --> 00:20:33,840
Diane, you're beautiful.
482
00:20:33,908 --> 00:20:36,275
Well, you know, I
don't really believe
483
00:20:36,344 --> 00:20:38,010
in mauling on first dates.
484
00:20:38,079 --> 00:20:40,199
I didn't come down to
hear the band, you know?
485
00:20:40,265 --> 00:20:42,193
Look, I thought we were
having a nice conversation.
486
00:20:42,217 --> 00:20:43,561
We were. That part's over.
487
00:20:43,585 --> 00:20:45,451
Hello, how is
everything back here?
488
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,220
Oops! Norman...
489
00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:49,122
He'll stop in a minute, Diane.
490
00:20:49,190 --> 00:20:50,534
No, really, Norman, it's...
491
00:20:50,558 --> 00:20:51,558
Mr. Sawyer...
492
00:20:51,593 --> 00:20:52,593
Get lost, Norm.
493
00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:54,494
Fine, sir.
494
00:20:54,562 --> 00:20:55,639
Look, look, this
is not my idea...
495
00:20:55,663 --> 00:20:56,773
Oh, come on.
496
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,275
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
497
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,465
Mr. Sawyer...
498
00:20:59,534 --> 00:21:00,966
I told you to leave.
499
00:21:01,035 --> 00:21:02,569
Norm, this is a big mistake.
500
00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:04,248
I'm sorry, sir. I know, sir.
501
00:21:04,272 --> 00:21:05,916
Nice cologne, sir.
Excellent cologne.
502
00:21:05,940 --> 00:21:06,956
You're crazy!
503
00:21:07,025 --> 00:21:08,758
You set me up with this girl
504
00:21:08,827 --> 00:21:10,326
and then you do this?!
505
00:21:11,629 --> 00:21:13,713
There's no room in my
company for unstable people.
506
00:21:13,781 --> 00:21:15,181
You clean out your desk tonight!
507
00:21:15,250 --> 00:21:16,250
You're fired!
508
00:21:16,284 --> 00:21:18,917
Yeah, I figured.
509
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:21,938
Norman, I'm, I'm real
sorry you lost your job.
510
00:21:22,006 --> 00:21:24,674
That's exactly what
I was trying to avoid.
511
00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:25,742
It's all right.
512
00:21:25,810 --> 00:21:27,142
What was that all about?
513
00:21:27,211 --> 00:21:29,111
Your boss just
stormed out of here.
514
00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:30,558
He's not my boss anymore.
515
00:21:30,582 --> 00:21:31,498
What?
516
00:21:31,566 --> 00:21:32,798
He was all over Diane.
517
00:21:32,867 --> 00:21:34,400
I had to get rough with him.
518
00:21:34,469 --> 00:21:36,769
I want a beer.
519
00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,574
You okay?
520
00:21:41,643 --> 00:21:43,309
Yes.
521
00:21:43,378 --> 00:21:45,561
Well, go ahead, gloat.
522
00:21:45,630 --> 00:21:48,047
Listen, believe it or not,
523
00:21:48,115 --> 00:21:50,594
I'm really sorry this happened.
524
00:21:50,618 --> 00:21:54,720
I know you must be feeling
hurt and angry right now.
525
00:21:54,789 --> 00:21:55,954
No, no.
526
00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:58,757
I'm not feeling hurt and angry.
527
00:21:58,826 --> 00:22:00,859
I brought this on myself.
528
00:22:00,928 --> 00:22:02,661
Actually, I'm feeling kind of...
529
00:22:02,730 --> 00:22:03,730
Cheap?
530
00:22:06,834 --> 00:22:10,653
All right, yes, I feel cheap.
531
00:22:10,722 --> 00:22:14,189
I saw an attractive
person, a little glamour
532
00:22:14,258 --> 00:22:16,258
and I wanted to
meet him so badly
533
00:22:16,327 --> 00:22:19,929
that I pushed everything
aside and threw myself at him...
534
00:22:19,997 --> 00:22:23,599
totally sacrificing my
dignity and my pride.
535
00:22:23,668 --> 00:22:24,983
What's wrong with that?
536
00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:26,469
I do that all the time.
537
00:22:29,925 --> 00:22:31,457
For one terrible moment
538
00:22:31,526 --> 00:22:34,160
I actually saw myself
through his eyes.
539
00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:39,032
I saw nothing but
a... cheap harlot.
540
00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:41,045
Aw, come on. We all know
541
00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:42,501
that you'd starve to death
542
00:22:42,571 --> 00:22:43,937
before you made a living
543
00:22:44,005 --> 00:22:45,504
with your body.
544
00:22:48,509 --> 00:22:49,520
Thanks, Sam.
545
00:22:49,544 --> 00:22:50,843
You're welcome, Diane.
546
00:22:55,566 --> 00:22:58,434
So he fired you, huh, Norm?
547
00:22:58,503 --> 00:23:00,353
Fired me, Coach.
548
00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:02,838
You know something?
549
00:23:02,907 --> 00:23:07,927
I may not have a job,
may not have a future.
550
00:23:07,995 --> 00:23:09,511
I may not have
551
00:23:09,580 --> 00:23:11,848
anything except this
sheet on my back...
552
00:23:14,001 --> 00:23:15,312
but you know something?
553
00:23:15,336 --> 00:23:17,103
I feel terrible.
554
00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:20,806
Gee, I'm sorry, Norm.
555
00:23:23,278 --> 00:23:26,678
Hey, did you
really hit the boss?
556
00:23:26,747 --> 00:23:28,692
No. Just shoved
him around a little bit.
557
00:23:28,716 --> 00:23:30,394
Hey, everybody, it's true!
558
00:23:30,418 --> 00:23:33,769
Norman just
punched out the boss!
559
00:23:33,838 --> 00:23:35,605
I just pushed him around.
560
00:23:35,673 --> 00:23:37,000
Way to go, Peterson.
561
00:23:37,024 --> 00:23:38,657
All right, Norman!
562
00:23:40,061 --> 00:23:42,295
Norman... our hero!
563
00:23:42,363 --> 00:23:43,629
Norman!
564
00:23:43,697 --> 00:23:45,064
Norman!
565
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,788
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