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1
00:00:06,290 --> 00:00:07,455
What a great day.
2
00:00:07,524 --> 00:00:08,456
Hey, Cliff.
3
00:00:08,525 --> 00:00:10,225
Hey, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy.
4
00:00:15,465 --> 00:00:16,910
You got something
funny there, Coach?
5
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:17,934
Yeah, Sam.
6
00:00:18,002 --> 00:00:19,668
This salesman
came by this morning
7
00:00:19,736 --> 00:00:20,903
with these new napkins.
8
00:00:20,971 --> 00:00:22,805
Read that one, it's terrific.
9
00:00:22,873 --> 00:00:24,173
This isn't funny.
10
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:26,141
Well, no, that's
not the funniest.
11
00:00:26,209 --> 00:00:28,043
No, uh, read some of the others.
12
00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:29,978
What others? Oh, here.
13
00:00:30,047 --> 00:00:31,229
I bought 30 gross.
14
00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:32,897
Take your pick.
15
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:36,034
30 gross of two hunters saying
16
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:37,947
"Did I hear a buck snort?"
17
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,237
No, no.
18
00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:41,707
They're all different, Sam.
19
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,930
Well I'll be darned.
20
00:00:51,035 --> 00:00:54,469
That salesman...
21
00:00:54,538 --> 00:00:57,022
But "two bucks snorting"
is funny every time.
22
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,777
You should have asked me
before you did this, Coach.
23
00:01:01,846 --> 00:01:03,144
Gee, I'm sorry, Sam.
24
00:01:03,213 --> 00:01:05,141
I was sure you were
going to love them.
25
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,444
These things are a
real conversation starter.
26
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,863
No, Coach, this is not
a conversation starter.
27
00:01:09,887 --> 00:01:11,547
You see these awful napkins?
28
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:12,571
Yeah, they stink.
29
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,022
See what I mean?
30
00:01:14,090 --> 00:01:16,024
The place is abuzz.
31
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,767
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
32
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♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
33
00:01:28,939 --> 00:01:31,573
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
34
00:01:31,642 --> 00:01:35,009
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
35
00:01:35,078 --> 00:01:37,946
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
36
00:01:40,918 --> 00:01:42,751
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
37
00:01:42,820 --> 00:01:48,306
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
38
00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:52,895
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
39
00:01:52,963 --> 00:01:55,430
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
40
00:01:55,499 --> 00:01:57,966
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
41
00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:03,238
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
42
00:02:03,307 --> 00:02:05,840
♪ You want to go
where people know ♪
43
00:02:05,910 --> 00:02:08,377
♪ People are all the same ♪
44
00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:12,347
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
45
00:02:12,416 --> 00:02:16,418
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT PICTURES
46
00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:34,436
Well, folks
47
00:02:34,504 --> 00:02:35,988
the Sox need a rally here
48
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,506
as they bat with two outs in
the bottom of the ninth inning.
49
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,403
The Yanks may have
it sewed up, though
50
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:42,144
as they lead five to nothing.
51
00:02:42,212 --> 00:02:44,546
Here's your drinks.
52
00:02:44,615 --> 00:02:45,981
Go, Red Sox!
53
00:02:46,049 --> 00:02:48,330
Uh, miss, which
drink is which here?
54
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:51,720
What does this look
like, the Pepsi challenge?
55
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:55,891
Sam, Carla's getting
her drink orders mixed up
56
00:02:55,959 --> 00:02:58,137
because she's
watching that silly game.
57
00:02:58,161 --> 00:03:00,228
Snitch face!
58
00:03:00,297 --> 00:03:01,746
You know
59
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:02,826
if you tried that
60
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,593
at St. Cleet's School for Girls
61
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:08,377
we'd have given you a pink
belly that glowed in the dark.
62
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:11,973
I'd kind of like to see that.
63
00:03:12,041 --> 00:03:14,209
Afternoon, everybody.
64
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,944
Hey, Norm! Hey, Norm.
65
00:03:16,013 --> 00:03:17,156
Norman.
66
00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:18,463
How you doing, Norm?
67
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:21,066
Cut the small talk
and give me a beer.
68
00:03:23,387 --> 00:03:24,853
Hey, Norm, how come you're late?
69
00:03:24,922 --> 00:03:26,421
Uh, boss kept me after.
70
00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:28,356
Got chewed out a little bit.
71
00:03:28,425 --> 00:03:30,057
Yeah, what for?
72
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,126
I don't know.
73
00:03:31,161 --> 00:03:33,328
Guess he doesn't have a dog.
74
00:03:33,397 --> 00:03:34,924
All right!
75
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:37,427
Hey, our prayers are
answered, Normy, babe. All right.
76
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:39,061
Yastrzemski's up with a man on.
77
00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:40,201
Yaz, fountain of youth.
78
00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:41,347
Yeah. Come on, now.
79
00:03:41,371 --> 00:03:43,115
Now we're going to
get something going!
80
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,300
All right, come on now.
81
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:46,007
You and me, babe.
You and me, Yaz.
82
00:03:46,076 --> 00:03:47,325
Come on, my hero. My man.
83
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,127
Popped it up.
84
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:51,229
Sox lose again.
85
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:53,147
You old fossil!
86
00:03:53,216 --> 00:03:54,649
That's it, that does it.
87
00:03:54,718 --> 00:03:56,729
May I have your attention,
please, everyone?
88
00:03:56,753 --> 00:03:58,920
I have an announcement to make.
89
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,255
As of right now...
90
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,490
Carla Tortelli
91
00:04:02,559 --> 00:04:04,809
is no longer a Red Sox fan.
92
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,696
No, no, really.
93
00:04:08,765 --> 00:04:10,949
I mean it this time.
94
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:15,487
Now stop that, okay?
95
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,523
Have I said that before?
96
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,041
Give everybody
97
00:04:20,109 --> 00:04:21,609
a drink on me, Sam.
98
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,714
What's the occasion, Fred?
99
00:04:25,782 --> 00:04:27,198
My sister, Louise, died.
100
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:30,469
That's terrific, Freddy.
101
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:31,803
Congratulations, Freddy.
102
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,800
Just in the nick of time, huh?
103
00:04:33,824 --> 00:04:34,923
Oh, yeah.
104
00:04:34,992 --> 00:04:36,753
I was getting
pretty low on funds.
105
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,897
What's going on?
106
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,311
Well, uh, Fred here
107
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:42,381
is the youngest of 12
brothers and sisters
108
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,232
of a very wealthy family.
109
00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:45,995
And I never cared
for any of them.
110
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,802
Every time one of them dies
111
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:50,489
uh, Fred here
inherits all their money.
112
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,407
Oh, I think that's ghoulish.
113
00:04:52,476 --> 00:04:56,116
Yeah, so did we the
first six or seven times.
114
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,958
Remember the night two of them
115
00:04:58,982 --> 00:05:00,793
drove off the cliff in the fog?
116
00:05:00,817 --> 00:05:03,785
Talk about a party.
117
00:05:03,854 --> 00:05:05,203
Okay, how we doing here? Cliff?
118
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:06,604
Yeah, another one, Sam, but, uh
119
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:09,174
hold the napkin, huh?
120
00:05:11,195 --> 00:05:14,596
Hey, what do we have
here, a Red Sox bar?
121
00:05:14,664 --> 00:05:17,115
Sorry about that, fans.
122
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,450
Another tough one
in the loss column.
123
00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:20,519
Boo hoo.
124
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,305
We're closed.
125
00:05:23,373 --> 00:05:25,590
I just came from
a classic massacre
126
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,291
of Boston by the Yankees.
127
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,638
Tonight on the news
128
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,673
you can watch the low-lights.
129
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:38,303
You know, I can't see why
you people are such bad losers.
130
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,772
You've had so much experience.
131
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:44,175
Who do you like, the Yankees?
132
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,962
Another swift Bostonian.
133
00:05:47,030 --> 00:05:48,663
Yeah, I'm a Yankee fan.
134
00:05:48,732 --> 00:05:52,033
Back in the real city,
they call me Big Eddie.
135
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,302
Pig Eddie?
136
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,789
Hey, uh, pal, you
made awfully good time
137
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,491
getting over here from Fenway.
138
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,404
I still hear the
TV tubes cooling.
139
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:03,812
Oh, I left right after
the Red Sox fans
140
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,930
had their seventh inning retch.
141
00:06:07,884 --> 00:06:09,768
Can I help you?
142
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:12,003
Yeah, give me a draft.
143
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:16,458
Ha, ha.
144
00:06:16,527 --> 00:06:19,560
You know, Big Ed,
the Sox are doing okay.
145
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:27,535
Yeah? Since 1918, the Yankees
have won 23 world championships
146
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,737
and the Sox zip.
147
00:06:31,041 --> 00:06:34,042
Want to talk about major
poets from New England
148
00:06:34,111 --> 00:06:35,710
as opposed to New York?
149
00:06:35,779 --> 00:06:39,380
Want to talk about Nobel
Prize winners in medicine?
150
00:06:39,449 --> 00:06:41,782
No.
151
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,953
Philistines.
152
00:06:45,021 --> 00:06:47,333
Fred, another
round for everybody?
153
00:06:47,357 --> 00:06:49,623
No, Louise didn't
have that much money.
154
00:06:49,692 --> 00:06:51,059
But I'll be back.
155
00:06:51,127 --> 00:06:54,195
My 90-year-old brother, Bob,
is hooked up to so many wires
156
00:06:54,264 --> 00:06:56,397
you can get the
Super Station on him.
157
00:06:58,535 --> 00:07:00,668
So long, Freddy!
158
00:07:00,737 --> 00:07:02,732
Hey, tell him we'll
be thinking of him
159
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,467
during the next
electrical storm.
160
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:05,406
Bye.
161
00:07:05,475 --> 00:07:07,475
Night, Freddy.
162
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:11,262
You homesick for the Bronx?
163
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,446
Yeah.
164
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,249
Here.
165
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,787
You'll, um, you'll
have to forgive Carla.
166
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,690
She gets a little
overemotional at times.
167
00:07:21,758 --> 00:07:23,391
But please bear in mind
168
00:07:23,459 --> 00:07:25,305
you are in an alien camp.
169
00:07:25,329 --> 00:07:29,463
Tact is perhaps
your wisest recourse.
170
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,733
What'd you get, a
vocabulary for Christmas?
171
00:07:32,802 --> 00:07:35,220
How would you like
to take a flying leap
172
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:36,604
up a knuckle sandwich?
173
00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:38,222
Huh?
174
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,731
Well, you gather my inference.
175
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:44,106
Hey, come on, come on,
everybody, take it easy.
176
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,175
We're trying to run a
nice, friendly bar here.
177
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,800
Come on, everybody
sit back and relax.
178
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:50,635
Read a napkin.
179
00:07:53,857 --> 00:07:56,091
Great shot, kid.
180
00:07:56,159 --> 00:07:59,010
Well, you must admit,
the man's a jackal.
181
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,463
Hey, hey, uh...
182
00:08:01,531 --> 00:08:04,332
I know you, uh...
183
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,600
What's your name?
184
00:08:05,669 --> 00:08:06,669
Sam Malone.
185
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:07,969
Yeah, that's it.
186
00:08:08,037 --> 00:08:10,438
Yeah, I usually get it right.
187
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:12,969
Hey, you used to
be a relief pitcher
188
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,258
for the Boston Red Sox, huh?
189
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,607
That's right.
190
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,662
Hey, you didn't stink.
191
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:19,948
Thanks.
192
00:08:20,016 --> 00:08:23,234
As I recall, you had a
darn good hard slider.
193
00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,770
And here you are
schlepping drinks?
194
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,972
The great Sam "Maybe" Malone?
195
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,306
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
196
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:30,491
That is "Mayday."
197
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:31,759
Let me buy you a drink, Sam.
198
00:08:31,828 --> 00:08:32,972
No, thanks.
199
00:08:32,996 --> 00:08:34,596
Come on, I didn't
mean all that stuff
200
00:08:34,664 --> 00:08:35,597
about your ball club.
201
00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:36,998
Come on, have a drink with me.
202
00:08:37,067 --> 00:08:38,216
No, I don't drink.
203
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,385
A baseball player
that don't drink?
204
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:41,480
He doesn't drink anymore.
205
00:08:41,504 --> 00:08:42,687
That's it.
206
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:45,439
Oh, that's... that's
what happened.
207
00:08:45,508 --> 00:08:47,942
And I thought you just lost it.
208
00:08:48,011 --> 00:08:49,293
Hey, hey.
209
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,513
He licked his booze
problem three years ago.
210
00:08:52,582 --> 00:08:54,782
Hey, what was it like
pitching to two guys
211
00:08:54,851 --> 00:08:56,317
at the same time?
212
00:08:56,385 --> 00:08:58,352
Better yet
213
00:08:58,421 --> 00:09:02,357
what was it like coming in with
bases loaded and so were you?
214
00:09:07,897 --> 00:09:11,032
Yah! Yah! Yah! Yah!
215
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,588
Easy. I got her.
216
00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:18,756
It's okay, everybody. I'm fine.
217
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,376
Sammy, uh, you get a minute
218
00:09:22,445 --> 00:09:24,946
you want to put a
head on this here, pal?
219
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,248
You all right?
220
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,252
Yeah, I-I think I better
get this looked at.
221
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,054
All right.
222
00:09:33,123 --> 00:09:34,055
Here's a doctor.
223
00:09:34,124 --> 00:09:35,150
Lives right near here.
224
00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:37,091
No, I was thinking something
225
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,194
more in lines of an attorney.
226
00:09:39,262 --> 00:09:41,107
Oh, here's a guy,
he's excellent.
227
00:09:41,131 --> 00:09:42,329
Coach...
228
00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:45,900
No thanks, I got my
own and he's damn good.
229
00:09:45,969 --> 00:09:49,220
Listen, Sam, you're
legally responsible
230
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,666
for the actions of
your employees.
231
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:51,784
You know that, don't you?
232
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:52,808
She got carried away.
233
00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:54,609
It was a stupid
mistake. I'm sorry.
234
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:55,910
Mistake?!
235
00:09:55,978 --> 00:09:58,090
That was an assault
in front of witnesses.
236
00:09:58,114 --> 00:09:59,797
Hey, I didn't see anything.
237
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,799
I still don't.
238
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:02,784
Hey, listen, Sam.
239
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,731
I ain't got nothing against you.
240
00:10:04,755 --> 00:10:05,965
You run a clean bar.
241
00:10:05,989 --> 00:10:07,833
Fire her and I'll
forget the whole thing.
242
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,424
Uh, come on, come on.
243
00:10:09,493 --> 00:10:12,705
Look, there must be some
other way we can settle this.
244
00:10:12,729 --> 00:10:14,362
Yeah, what do you suggest?
245
00:10:14,431 --> 00:10:16,815
Well, I certainly think
an apology's in order.
246
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:18,282
Don't you, Carla?
247
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,451
Hey, I'm willing to listen.
248
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:22,937
Listen, Sam.
249
00:10:23,006 --> 00:10:27,525
You fire her or I'm going
to take everything you got.
250
00:10:31,681 --> 00:10:33,380
Well, that's it.
251
00:10:33,449 --> 00:10:35,549
Happy hour is over.
252
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:45,743
Carla, what you did
was reprehensible.
253
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,478
You do what you can.
254
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,680
Talk to your lawyer, Sam?
255
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:52,100
Yeah. I finally got through.
256
00:10:52,168 --> 00:10:53,101
So, what did he say?
257
00:10:53,169 --> 00:10:54,229
Well...
258
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:55,303
If he's worth a dime
259
00:10:55,372 --> 00:10:56,815
he said by statute
and precedence
260
00:10:56,839 --> 00:10:59,440
this would be considered
a tort, and there is, therefor
261
00:10:59,509 --> 00:11:01,549
substantial grounds
for cause of action.
262
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,431
How'd you know that?
263
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,934
Well, I picked it up in Pre-Law.
264
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,237
I thought you were
an English major.
265
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:16,824
Well, that was after Art
and before Psychology.
266
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,945
Is there anything
you weren't in college?
267
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,948
Blond.
268
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,653
Check the yearbook, Carla.
269
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,454
Check the yearbook!
270
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,438
Come on, just stop.
271
00:11:31,507 --> 00:11:33,525
Sam...
272
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:38,530
Look, I'm sorry I
got you in trouble.
273
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:41,466
I promise, it won't
happen again.
274
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:43,846
How am I supposed
to believe that, Carla?
275
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,438
I mean, you've flown
off the handle too often.
276
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:47,955
When?
277
00:11:48,024 --> 00:11:51,409
You don't remember
throwing a man's change at him
278
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:52,877
from across the bar?
279
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:56,497
The correct change.
280
00:11:56,565 --> 00:11:58,366
Carla, Carla, look.
281
00:11:58,435 --> 00:12:01,336
You have a history of being...
282
00:12:01,404 --> 00:12:03,849
Abusive with customers.
283
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:06,141
I'll handle this.
284
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:12,813
A history of being
abusive with customers.
285
00:12:12,882 --> 00:12:14,098
Sam...
286
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,216
he was insulting you.
287
00:12:15,285 --> 00:12:17,218
You're so stupid,
you don't even know
288
00:12:17,287 --> 00:12:18,686
when you're being insulted?
289
00:12:18,754 --> 00:12:20,922
Carla, I appreciate
you defending my honor
290
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,768
but I used to be
a baseball player
291
00:12:22,792 --> 00:12:24,325
I'm used to people riding me.
292
00:12:24,393 --> 00:12:27,661
I mean, in Yankee Stadium,
I had to face 50,000 Eddies.
293
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:31,282
I can defend myself without
having to call in Spider Lady.
294
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:35,903
Yeah, I did make a couple
of nice moves, didn't I?
295
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,812
Like when I... Carla,
Carla, sit down.
296
00:12:37,874 --> 00:12:39,540
Look...
297
00:12:41,411 --> 00:12:43,889
I'm your friend, and I like you.
298
00:12:43,913 --> 00:12:48,082
But I'm also a businessman,
and as a businessman
299
00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:50,128
I don't like what
you did tonight.
300
00:12:50,152 --> 00:12:52,130
Look, you know, I
could get tough with you.
301
00:12:52,154 --> 00:12:55,234
My lawyer wants me to do
exactly what Eddie asked.
302
00:12:55,258 --> 00:12:57,425
Fire me?
303
00:13:01,331 --> 00:13:04,098
Come on, that's crazy.
304
00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:08,870
Carla... I could lose the bar.
305
00:13:08,939 --> 00:13:11,389
Sam, you can't fire me.
306
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,257
I need this job.
307
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,959
Think of my kids.
308
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,395
If I didn't have this job
309
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,581
I'd have to stay home with them.
310
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:26,866
Hey, Sam, you're not actually
thinking about it, are you?
311
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,930
Sam, this is Carla
we're talking about.
312
00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:31,675
I know it's Carla we're
talking about, Coach!
313
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:32,676
Excuse me...
314
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:34,128
may I make a suggestion?
315
00:13:34,196 --> 00:13:36,030
Sure, honey, go ahead. What?
316
00:13:36,099 --> 00:13:38,311
Well, I have a very close friend
317
00:13:38,335 --> 00:13:40,446
who is a clinical psychologist.
318
00:13:40,470 --> 00:13:41,614
That could work.
319
00:13:41,638 --> 00:13:42,670
What could work?
320
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,972
Well, I don't know, Sam.
321
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,775
Give the kid a chance to talk.
322
00:13:47,843 --> 00:13:51,279
Uh, this friend
mentioned to me one time
323
00:13:51,347 --> 00:13:55,649
that he has a therapy
group for people who...
324
00:13:55,718 --> 00:13:57,396
I hope you'll
forgive me, Carla...
325
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,765
For people who can't
control their tempers.
326
00:13:59,789 --> 00:14:01,722
You think I'm wacko.
327
00:14:01,791 --> 00:14:04,575
Nobody used the word "wacko."
328
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:06,555
Now, you don't have to be wacko
329
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,507
to see a psychologist.
330
00:14:08,531 --> 00:14:11,265
Perfectly normal, happy people
331
00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:13,167
consult psychologists.
332
00:14:13,236 --> 00:14:15,803
In fact, get ready to laugh...
333
00:14:15,871 --> 00:14:19,607
I have consulted him
professionally myself.
334
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,479
Are you one of his better jobs?
335
00:14:28,818 --> 00:14:30,952
I'm trying to help you.
336
00:14:31,021 --> 00:14:33,438
Carla, look, this might
do you a lot of good.
337
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,022
Now you think I'm crazy.
338
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:38,793
I think you're a person who's
got a lot of anger inside her.
339
00:14:38,862 --> 00:14:41,613
Yeah? Well, stick it.
340
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:44,048
Come on, would you?
341
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,683
Look, Sam.
342
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:47,652
I grew up on Federal Hill.
343
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,505
I had six older
brothers and sisters.
344
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,126
I mean, I worked all
my life to get this mean.
345
00:14:55,195 --> 00:15:00,164
Now you're telling me
I have to learn nice?
346
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,683
Carla, I'm giving you
one more chance... take it.
347
00:15:02,752 --> 00:15:04,519
Ugh.
348
00:15:07,056 --> 00:15:08,672
Okay.
349
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:13,877
Look, if I go see
whitey's shrink...
350
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:15,363
will you let me stay on?
351
00:15:15,431 --> 00:15:18,132
Show me you're
serious, get some help
352
00:15:18,201 --> 00:15:20,278
and, yeah, I'll keep you on.
353
00:15:20,302 --> 00:15:21,836
Thanks, Sam.
354
00:15:21,904 --> 00:15:22,948
Ah.
355
00:15:22,972 --> 00:15:25,217
Come on, let's go home.
356
00:15:25,241 --> 00:15:26,357
Aw, this is great.
357
00:15:26,409 --> 00:15:27,625
I mean, just great.
358
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,495
A minute ago, everything
seemed so hopeless.
359
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:33,498
I thought we were going
to lose Carla forever.
360
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,711
All of a sudden it's
all turned around.
361
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,234
I feel wonderful.
362
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:40,004
All we have to worry about
now is Eddie taking my bar away.
363
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:42,072
That didn't last long.
364
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,409
Oh, I'm sorry.
365
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:48,012
Pre-Law was after Literature
and before Psychol...
366
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,447
No, wait, I'm wrong again.
367
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,683
Indian Studies totally
slipped my mind.
368
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,083
How could I forget that?
369
00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:54,285
It changed my life.
370
00:16:02,078 --> 00:16:03,861
All right, fine, Eddie, yeah.
371
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:06,464
See you in 15 minutes.
372
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,215
So, Ed's coming over?
373
00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:09,550
Yeah, he's on his way.
374
00:16:09,619 --> 00:16:11,769
When was the last
time he was here, Sam?
375
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,254
Three weeks.
376
00:16:13,322 --> 00:16:16,708
Oh, geez, then he's
seen the napkins, huh?
377
00:16:17,927 --> 00:16:19,460
Ed?
378
00:16:19,528 --> 00:16:23,330
You don't mean that
swineherd Ed that's suing you?
379
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,932
Yeah, that's the one.
380
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:29,303
Oh, I see what you're doing.
381
00:16:29,372 --> 00:16:31,838
You're taking
advantage of the fact
382
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:34,741
that it's Carla's
day off to bring Ed in
383
00:16:34,810 --> 00:16:38,512
and fool him into thinking
that you've fired Carla.
384
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,147
It's a crass ploy.
385
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:43,751
Well, I'm going to tell
him that Carla's in therapy
386
00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:45,819
and ask him to understand.
387
00:16:45,888 --> 00:16:48,355
My way is better.
388
00:16:51,193 --> 00:16:53,505
Hey, that Ed guy is
not my favorite person.
389
00:16:53,529 --> 00:16:55,062
I think he's a big pansy
390
00:16:55,131 --> 00:16:57,765
making a big fuss
over some intense pain.
391
00:16:57,833 --> 00:17:00,284
How many times did
you play hurt, Sam?
392
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,452
Now and then.
393
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,154
I must've got hit by
a hundred fastballs.
394
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:07,758
As a matter of fact, it
became a specialty of mine.
395
00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:09,638
Wait, you specialized
in getting hit?
396
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,207
Yeah. Yeah, he lead the league
397
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:13,781
in HBP's two years in a row.
398
00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,800
"Hit by pitches."
399
00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:17,546
See, I perfected it
when I was down
400
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,837
with the St. Louis Browns
organization, Diane.
401
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:21,199
I could get to first base
402
00:17:21,223 --> 00:17:22,890
on any pitch.
403
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,158
I mean, what I'd do was
404
00:17:24,226 --> 00:17:26,038
I'd get up there
and lean my body
405
00:17:26,062 --> 00:17:27,461
into the pitch, right?
406
00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:30,665
Well, sometimes I took
one right in the old melon
407
00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:32,711
but, I mean, I, I really...
408
00:17:32,735 --> 00:17:34,279
I really made a
science out of it.
409
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,187
I became a master.
410
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,383
Well, here. Try to miss me.
411
00:17:37,407 --> 00:17:38,407
Oh...
412
00:17:40,710 --> 00:17:42,504
Diane, stand right there.
413
00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:46,130
Now, I got the batter's
box marked off back there
414
00:17:46,198 --> 00:17:48,358
at exactly 60 feet, 6 inches.
415
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,761
You ready? Okay. Here we go.
416
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,587
Has he done this before?
417
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,005
Lots.
418
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:58,320
You know, Diane,
back in those days
419
00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:01,662
we didn't wear
batting helmets, either!
420
00:18:01,731 --> 00:18:03,731
Sam, this is ridiculous.
421
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,711
He's go... he's going to
stay back there all night
422
00:18:05,735 --> 00:18:06,745
unless you throw the ball.
423
00:18:06,769 --> 00:18:08,268
Okay, honey, I'm ready!
424
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:09,481
Let her rip!
425
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,540
All right, all right.
426
00:18:12,608 --> 00:18:15,376
I'm not going to get
it anywhere near him.
427
00:18:15,444 --> 00:18:17,211
That's the whole point.
428
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,965
Oh, God... I'm
on my way to first!
429
00:18:26,989 --> 00:18:28,422
Way to hum, girl!
430
00:18:28,490 --> 00:18:30,758
Right in the old honeydew!
431
00:18:30,827 --> 00:18:33,160
I really had to
dive for that one
432
00:18:33,229 --> 00:18:35,440
but I still got the old touch!
433
00:18:35,464 --> 00:18:37,565
Hey, hi, everybody.
434
00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:38,566
Uh-oh.
435
00:18:38,634 --> 00:18:39,911
Carla, hi.
436
00:18:39,935 --> 00:18:42,936
It's Carla, Sam, and
Ed's on his way over.
437
00:18:43,005 --> 00:18:44,938
Thanks for reminding me.
438
00:18:45,007 --> 00:18:46,207
Carla, hi.
439
00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:49,577
What the hell are you
doing here on your day off?
440
00:18:49,645 --> 00:18:52,112
I brought my shrink
by to meet you all.
441
00:18:52,181 --> 00:18:55,115
He wanted to put the
names with the faces.
442
00:18:55,184 --> 00:18:57,201
Dr. Graham, this
is my boss, Sam.
443
00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:59,603
How do you? Hi, how you doing?
444
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:02,106
And, uh, this is Coach Pantusso.
445
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:03,090
Hi, Doc.
446
00:19:03,158 --> 00:19:04,858
So, you're a psychologist, huh?
447
00:19:04,927 --> 00:19:06,887
You know, our
jobs are a lot alike.
448
00:19:06,930 --> 00:19:09,463
You mean because we both
listen to people's problems all day?
449
00:19:09,532 --> 00:19:12,466
Well, there's that, too.
450
00:19:15,171 --> 00:19:16,171
Well... thank you.
451
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:17,705
It was really nice
to meet you, Doc.
452
00:19:17,774 --> 00:19:18,940
Hello, doctor.
453
00:19:19,008 --> 00:19:21,219
Hello, Diane, how are you?
454
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,526
In what sense?
455
00:19:24,513 --> 00:19:25,791
Pardon me?
456
00:19:25,815 --> 00:19:28,766
Oh, you mean,
"how are you," right?
457
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,535
Not, you know... "how are you"?
458
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,632
Well, if that's what
you meant, I'm fine.
459
00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:35,500
Good. Well, it's
really good to see you
460
00:19:35,524 --> 00:19:37,792
but I should get back
to work, you know.
461
00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:39,159
Okay.
462
00:19:39,228 --> 00:19:41,796
Nothing personal, I'm just
a hard worker, you know.
463
00:19:41,864 --> 00:19:43,642
Not that I'm
obsessed with work...
464
00:19:43,666 --> 00:19:45,900
Uh, Diane, why don't
you get some pretzels?
465
00:19:45,969 --> 00:19:48,719
Hi, Sam.
466
00:19:50,739 --> 00:19:52,940
What's she doing here?
467
00:19:53,009 --> 00:19:57,528
Uh, Ed, why don't you
sit down, way over there?
468
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:58,896
Uh, listen.
469
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:02,399
I, uh, asked you over here
to talk about Carla tonight.
470
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:04,936
You see, she's
still working here.
471
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,772
I thought my attorney
made my position
472
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,668
absolutely clear on that.
473
00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:12,259
Well, yes, yes, he did. He did.
474
00:20:12,328 --> 00:20:14,478
Hey, table for one. Sit down.
475
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,331
Uh, see, Carla is
seeing a therapist.
476
00:20:17,399 --> 00:20:20,033
She's trying to work things out.
477
00:20:20,102 --> 00:20:22,870
She's trying to become
the kind of waitress
478
00:20:22,938 --> 00:20:25,706
that you'd enjoy
being waited on by.
479
00:20:25,775 --> 00:20:29,627
You just ended that
sentence with two prepositions.
480
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:32,262
Don't you have
customers to deal with?
481
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:34,732
That ended with
a preposition, too.
482
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,402
Don't you have customers
to deal with, mullet head?
483
00:20:39,421 --> 00:20:41,088
Look...
484
00:20:45,528 --> 00:20:48,061
So, you're in therapy, huh?
485
00:20:48,130 --> 00:20:50,197
Yes.
486
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:09,566
I've come a long way, though.
487
00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:15,923
Well, I don't believe it,
and I want you out of here.
488
00:21:17,927 --> 00:21:21,745
Uh, Ed, uh, Ed, it's a
long process; sometimes...
489
00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:22,814
Sam?
490
00:21:25,801 --> 00:21:29,836
Hey, uh, Ed?
491
00:21:29,906 --> 00:21:31,405
Give me a break.
492
00:21:31,473 --> 00:21:37,127
I mean, I've been working...
damn hard, and... I'm better.
493
00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:38,545
Yeah?
494
00:21:38,614 --> 00:21:39,964
Yes.
495
00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:43,183
Boston... stinks.
496
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:53,794
This bar... stinks.
497
00:21:53,863 --> 00:21:57,314
It's all right, it's all right.
498
00:21:57,383 --> 00:22:00,434
You're a crummy waitress!
499
00:22:00,502 --> 00:22:01,782
Now, wait a minute.
500
00:22:01,837 --> 00:22:03,448
No, no, let it go. You're
doing wonderfully.
501
00:22:03,472 --> 00:22:05,155
Hang in there, Carla.
502
00:22:06,776 --> 00:22:10,244
You're short!
503
00:22:14,683 --> 00:22:17,451
You're obnoxious!
504
00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:22,289
You're a terrible dresser!
505
00:22:22,358 --> 00:22:23,423
Oh, that's low.
506
00:22:23,492 --> 00:22:24,959
No.
507
00:22:31,867 --> 00:22:36,670
Sam Malone was
a terrible pitcher!
508
00:22:36,739 --> 00:22:40,541
Ted Williams was overrated!
509
00:22:40,610 --> 00:22:42,776
Bobby Orr was a wimp!
510
00:22:42,845 --> 00:22:46,296
Uh, Eddie, Eddie, I'd
stay away from hockey.
511
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:50,467
Aha! I hit a soft spot, huh?
512
00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:51,816
Okay.
513
00:22:53,205 --> 00:23:01,205
The Bruins are a bunch
of ugly... stupid... sissies!
514
00:23:01,914 --> 00:23:02,914
Come on, Ed.
515
00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:05,382
I mean, how much
more do you need?
516
00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:08,385
Okay, Sam.
517
00:23:08,454 --> 00:23:10,165
I'm going to drop
the whole thing.
518
00:23:10,189 --> 00:23:12,356
Yeah! Ha, ha!
519
00:23:12,425 --> 00:23:15,075
Working here is
punishment enough!
520
00:23:15,143 --> 00:23:19,646
Hey, uh, I wish you hadn't
have said that about the Bruins.
521
00:23:19,715 --> 00:23:21,815
Why, are you a Bruin fan?
522
00:23:21,884 --> 00:23:24,084
No.
523
00:23:24,152 --> 00:23:27,087
I'm a Bruin.
524
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:31,514
Let me walk you to your car.
525
00:23:34,012 --> 00:23:35,312
I want to show you
526
00:23:35,381 --> 00:23:38,415
some of those sissy
things I got suspended for.
527
00:23:41,404 --> 00:23:43,053
All right!
528
00:23:43,121 --> 00:23:46,122
Carla, that was
wonderful, just wonderful.
529
00:23:46,191 --> 00:23:47,658
I'm so proud of you.
530
00:23:47,726 --> 00:23:49,526
You're a new woman.
531
00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:50,761
Mind psychology.
532
00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:52,696
How did you do it, honey?
533
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,047
Nothing to it.
534
00:23:54,116 --> 00:23:55,410
I mean, I've been
working really hard on this
535
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:56,550
haven't I, Doc?
536
00:23:56,618 --> 00:23:58,230
I mean, we had
some great sessions.
537
00:23:58,254 --> 00:24:01,605
I just use this little trick
Dr. Graham taught me.
538
00:24:01,674 --> 00:24:05,059
I imagine a small point
way off in the distance...
539
00:24:05,127 --> 00:24:06,771
Hey, Carla, where's
that beer I ordered?
540
00:24:06,795 --> 00:24:09,096
Shut up, we're celebrating!
541
00:24:09,164 --> 00:24:12,010
And I just keep
thinking of that point.
542
00:24:12,034 --> 00:24:13,728
He never phased
me, I'm telling you.
543
00:24:13,752 --> 00:24:16,186
A little deep
breathing, relaxation...
544
00:24:20,492 --> 00:24:24,494
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