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>>> LIVE FROM CENTRAL PARK, IT'S
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00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:20,053
HERE IN NEW YORK CITY, AND THE
TEMPERATURE HIT 90 DEGREES THIS
WEEK, A FULL TWO MONTHS AHEAD OF
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00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:23,556
SCHEDULE.
WHILE THAT MAY BE TERRIFYING ON
A CLIMATE LEVEL, THE WARM
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00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:32,032
WEATHER CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING.
ALL THE FREAKS, CRAZIES, AND
WEIRDOS ARE HEADED TO CENTRAL
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00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:37,203
PARK.
AND WE'RE EXPECTED TO SEE SOME
ICONIC PARK PEOPLE TODAY, AREN'T
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00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:41,374
WE, JACE?
>> WE SURE ARE.
THE MOOD HERE IS ELECTRIC.
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THE SMELL OF HORSE MANURE IS IN
THE AIR.
IT'S A MAN DOING AN AGGRESSIVE
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00:00:49,582 --> 00:00:52,552
POWER WALK.
>> HI THERE.
>> FIRST, DISH ON THIS OUTFIT.
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>> CERTAIN WILL I.
I'M WEARING THE TIGHTEST SPANDEX
SHIRT OF ALL TIME, LITTLE
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00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:03,630
SHORTS, AND A WEIRD HEART RATE
MONITOR STRAPPED TO MY ARM.
>> ICONIC.
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CAN YOU GIVE US A PREVIEW OF
YOUR WALK?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
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00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:11,104
BEHIND YOU, BEHIND YOU, ON YOUR
LEFT.
AND THERE IT IS.
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00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:16,943
>> WOW, GORGEOUS.
DANA.
>> WELL, JACE, I AM STAR STRUCK
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RIGHT NOW AS I AM JOINED BY NOT
ONE BUT TWO PERVERTS WHO CAME TO
THE PARK TO PLEASURE THEMSELVES.
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>> NICE TO BE OUT OF THE SUBWAY.
>> EXCITED FOR THE BIG DAY?
>> OH, YEAH.
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00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:39,099
I GOT MY MODESTY BLANKET AND BY
KNOCK LARS, SO I'M GOOD TO GO.
>> YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOUR
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00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:44,204
BOYS, THIS IS BUSHES, BABY.
>> ANY NEW TECHNIQUES THIS YEAR?
>> OH, JUST ONE.
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00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:47,974
>> IS THAT A FAKE ARM?
>> YEAH.
>> WOW!
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SHAME ON YOU BOTH.
JACE.
>> WELL, WE WERE HOPING SHE
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WOULD MAKE AN APPEARANCE.
IT'S A WOMAN LEARNING TO ROLLER
BLADE.
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>> YEAH.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN, AND
I THOUGHT WHAT BETTER PLACE THAN
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00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:03,590
ON A CROWDED PATHWAY FILLED WITH
THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE.
>> HORRIBLE PLAN.
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00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:07,827
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
>> HERE I GO.
>> AND SHE FELL RIGHT AWAY.
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DANA.
>> WELL, LOOK WHO I FOUND.
TWO OF CENTRAL PARK'S FINEST.
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PARK EMPLOYEES WHO DO NOT CARE
ABOUT THEIR JOBS.
HOW YOU GUYS FEELING?
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>> WE ARE VERY HIGH RIGHT NOW.
YES.
THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
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00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:24,277
>> AMAZING.
ANY WARNINGS FOR THOSE WHO
VIOLATE PARK RULES?
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>> YOU DO YOU.
>> INSPIRING WORDS.
JACE, I HEAR YOU'VE SPOTTED AN
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ABSOLUTE LEGEND.
>> WELL, I HOPE SHE'LL STOP TO
TALK.
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IT'S A LADY TRYING TO TELL
SOMEONE WHERE SHE IS.
>> WELL, I DON'T SEE YOU, BITCH.
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00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:45,799
I'M RIGHT WHERE I SAID I WOULD
BE.
RIGHT BY THE BIG TREE, THE BIG
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00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:49,703
TREE NEAR THE BRIDGE.
>> OH, JUST MISSED HER.
DANA.
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00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:54,207
>> HE'S BACK.
IT'S THE GROWN MAN WITH THE
DRONE WHO'S ALONE.
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00:02:54,207 --> 00:03:00,647
>> HEY, THERE.
>> AND YOU WON'T BE FILMING
GIRLS LAYING OUT SUN BATHING,
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00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:06,720
WILL YOU?
>> NO.
>> I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
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00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:11,791
NOW, JACE, THIS GUY IS BAD, BUT
I HEAR YOU'RE WITH ONE OF THE
WORST PARK PEOPLE OF ALL.
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00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:15,929
>> I SURE AM.
IT'S THE GUY WITH THE CLIPBOARD
WHO WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE A
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00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:21,735
SECOND FOR A GOOD CAUSE.
NOW, PEOPLE ABSOLUTELY HATE YOU.
CAN YOU TELL US WHY?
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00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:28,308
>> WELL, I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I
ZERO IN ON FOLKS TRYING TO ENJOY
THEMSELVES AND PESTER THEM FOR
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00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:30,910
MONEY.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
CAN WE SEE THAT IN ACTION?
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00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:35,448
>> YOU BET.
WOW.
COOL SHIRT.
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00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,917
YOU HAVE A SECOND FOR --
>> NO!
I DONATED BEFORE.
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00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:40,954
>> WHAT AN ABSOLUTE PAIN IN THE
ASS.
DANA.
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00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:45,091
>> IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE.
IT'S A CRAZY MAN WITH A
MICROPHONE.
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00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:49,829
>> GOOD TO BE BACK FOR ANOTHER
YEAR.
>> AND I SEE YOU BROUGHT A LADY
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00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:53,767
FRIEND WITH YOU.
>> I SURE DID.
THIS WOMAN WILL BE DEBATING THE
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00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:57,671
NONSENSE THAT I SCREAM AS IF I'M
A RATIONAL MAN WHOSE MIND CAN BE
CHANGED.
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00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:04,511
>> CAN WE GET A PREVIEW?
>> OF COURSE.
>> OUR PLEASURE.
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00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:11,317
>> BIDEN CREATED THE
CORONAVIRUS.
>> THAT IS BOLOGNA!
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00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:15,689
>> WOW.
I CAN'T TELL WHO ANNOYS ME MORE.
JACE.
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00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:21,428
>> WELL, WE HAVE BEEN WAITING
FOR HER TO ARRIVE.
IT'S WEALTHY WOMAN AND CHILD.
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00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:26,199
I FOUGHT TO ASK, WHAT'S THE PLAN
TODAY?
>> I'M TAKING RILEY HERE TO THE
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00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:31,338
PLAYGROUND WHERE I'LL SNAP INTO
AN IMMEDIATE PANIC IF I LOSE
SIGHT OF HIM FOR ONE MINUTE.
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00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:34,774
RILEY?
RILEY!
>> OH, NO.
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00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:39,713
>> WELL, I STILL DON'T SEE YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M DONE LOOKING FOR YOU, BITCH.
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00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:45,418
YOU COME FIND ME.
I'LL BE IN THE GRASS IN A RED
BIKINI GETTING MYSELF SOME SUN.
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00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:51,925
>> WELL, WE'VE GOT PLENTY MORE
PARK PEOPLE COMING UP, INCLUDING
A WOMAN WITH AN OUT OF CONTROL
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00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:56,596
DOG AND A PERFORMANCE FROM SOME
A-HOLE PLAYING A GUITAR.
AND LIVE --
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00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:59,099
>> OKAY.
GIRL,
>> LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
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00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:01,301
GIRL,
>> LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
SATURDAY NIGHT!
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00:05:10,810 --> 00:06:15,108
>> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY
NIGHT LIVE" WITH --
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00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,242
>> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY
NIGHT LIVE" WITH --
FEATURING --
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00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:04,224
MUSICAL GUEST KAROL G.
AND YOUR HOST, ANA de ARMAS.
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00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:28,314
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ANA de
ARMAS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:35,422
>>> GRACIAS.
GRACIAS.
[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
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00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:41,828
JUST KIDDING.
I SPEAK ENGLISH.
BUT I DIDN'T WHEN I FIRST GOT TO
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00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:48,835
THE U.S.
I WAS BORN IN CUBA, CAME TO
AMERICA WHEN I WAS 26, AND I
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00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:55,709
LEARNED ENGLISH THE WAY EVERYONE
WHO COMES TO THIS COUNTRY DOES,
BY WATCHING "FRIENDS."
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00:07:55,709 --> 00:08:01,481
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THE BEST
ENGLISH TUTOR WOULD HAVE BEEN
CHANDLER BING.
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00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:07,020
LOOK AT ME NOW, COULD I BE ANY
BETTER AT ENGLISH?
ACTING HERE WAS DIFFICULT AT
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00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:11,825
FIRST BECAUSE I DIDN'T ALWAYS
UNDERSTAND WHAT I WAS SAYING.
THEN I MET A GUY WHO HAD A CLASS
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00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:17,397
CALLED HOW TO AUDITION, WHICH
WAS DEFINITELY A SCAM.
HE HAD ME READ A SCENE, AND
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00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:22,035
THERE WAS THIS LINE, I BEG YOUR
PARDON.
BUT I HAD NEVER SEEN OR HEARD
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00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:29,075
THAT PHRASE, SO I THOUGHT THIS
CHARACTER WAS LITERALLY BEGGING.
SO WHEN I DID THE LINE, I SAID,
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00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:33,713
I BEG YOUR PARDON!
GIVE IT TO ME!
THEN SOMEONE ELSE IN THE CLASS
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00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:39,919
READ THE LINE, AND I WAS LIKE,
OH, CAN I TRY AGAIN?
THIS HAS BEEN A MAGICAL YEAR.
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00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:48,194
NOT ONLY I WAS NOMINATED FOR AN
OSCAR --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,364
BUT IN THREE WEEKS, I'M GOING
OFFICIALLY BECOME AN AMERICAN
CITIZEN.
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00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:58,271
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I AM PROUD TO BECOME A CITIZEN
BECAUSE WHEN I MOVED HERE,
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00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:06,012
EVERYONE WAS SO WELCOMING.
WHEN I DID MY FIRST MOVIE IN THE
U.S. CALLED HANDS OF STONE, I
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00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:14,788
GOT TO WORK WITH ROBERT DE NIRO,
AND ONE DAY ON SET, HE SAID HE
WAS GOING TO CUBA SOON, AND IF I
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00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:18,725
DO, I'LL SAY HELLO TO YOUR
FAMILY.
HE ASKED ME FOR THEIR PHONE
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00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:23,196
NUMBER.
I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT,
AND ONE DAY I GET A PHONE CALL
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00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:30,804
FROM MY DAD, HE'S HYSTERICAL,
AND I GO, DAD, WHAT'S WRONG, AND
HE GOES, ROBERT DE NIRO JUST
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00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:35,608
CAME TO VISIT ME AT WORK.
THAT WAS SUCH A KIND GESTURE,
AND I HAVE BEEN SO FORTUNATE TO
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00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:41,348
WORK WITH SO MANY WONDERFUL
ACTORS.
MY DAD WAS SO PROUD OF ME, AND
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00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:47,654
HE WOULD BE PROUD TO SEE ME
TODAY STANDING ON THIS STAGE.
I FEEL VERY LUCKY TO BE HERE.
88
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:52,058
I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME MY
NAME WAS IN THE NEW YORK CROSS
WORD.
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00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:55,628
EVERYONE TEXTED ME, AND THEY
SAID, YOU MADE IT.
AND I THOUGHT I DID.
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00:09:55,628 --> 00:10:00,800
BUT THEN, A COUPLE MONTHS AGO,
SNL CALLED ME AND SAID, ANA, WE
WANT YOU TO HOST.
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00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:06,806
AND I WAS SO SHOCKED AND EXCITED
THAT ALL I COULD SAY WAS -- I
BEG YOUR PARDON!
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00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:09,476
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
KAROL G IS HERE.
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00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:14,180
KAROL G IS HERE.
STICK AROUND.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
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00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:33,333
HERE IN THE DOME.
>> GOOD EVENING.
GOOD EVENING.
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00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:38,505
I'M TED CONLEY, AND THIS IS THE
DOME.
NOW LET'S MEET THE TEAMS VYING
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00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:43,443
FOR A CHANCE AT THE $1 MILLION
PRIZE.
TEAM ONE, INTRODUCE YOURSELVES.
97
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:48,748
>> I'M BETH AND THIS IS MY
BROTHER-IN-LAW, ROB.
>> PROOF THAT IN-LAWS CAN GET
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00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:51,151
ALONG.
WE'RE HAVING FUN.
OKAY.
99
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:56,589
WHO DO WE HAVE ON TEAM TWO?
>> I'M CARMEN, AND THIS IS MY
HUSBAND MATT.
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00:10:56,589 --> 00:11:00,160
>> ALL RIGHT.
CARMEN AND HER COUSIN MATT.
OKAY.
101
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:04,130
>> NO, NO.
MATT'S MY HUSBAND.
>> I'M SORRY.
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00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:09,069
I HAVE A BAD EAR FOR ACCENTS.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU SAID THAT MATT'S
YOUR HUSBAND.
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00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:11,905
>> I DID.
WE'RE MARRIED.
>> UH-HUH.
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00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:17,911
>> TO EACH OTHER?
>> YEPERONI.
>> OKAY.
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00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:25,585
SO, LET ME JUST CLARIFY WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE.
SO YOU, WHO ARE YOU, ARE MARRIED
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00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:30,557
TO HE, WHO IS HIM?
>> YEP.
WE ARE MR. AND MRS. MATTHEW
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00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:41,701
PATRICK SCHATT.
>> YOUR NAME IS MATT PAT SCHATT?
>> YES, SIR.
108
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:47,674
IS THAT OKAY?
>> NOT REALLY.
NOW, I GOT TO ASK, WHY ARE YOU
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00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:52,812
ON THE SHOW WHEN YOU ARE
OBVIOUSLY EXTREMELY WEALTHY?
>> OH, NO, I AM NOT WEALTHY.
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00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:57,217
>> WELL, THEN, WHY IS SHE WITH
YOU?
>> ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?
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00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:02,288
>> NO!
OH, MAN, I GOT TO CALM DOWN.
I GOTS TO CALM DOWN.
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00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:07,794
IF YOU'RE NOT RICH, WHAT DO YOU
DO FOR A LIVING?
>> I DANCE WITH THE SAN
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00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:12,966
FRANCISCO BALLET, AND MATT WORKS
IN THE FOOD INDUSTRY.
>> OH, SO YOU'RE A CHEF?
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00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:17,103
>> NO.
I'M A TASTE TESTER AT PURINA DOG
CHOW.
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00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:22,642
>> HE TRIES NEW DOG FOODS TO
TELL THEM IF IT'S TOO, LIKE,
SPICY.
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00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:33,353
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE THE DOGS CAN
TALK.
>> SO YOU EAT DOG FOOD FOR
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00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:37,757
MONEY?
>> SOME DAY, HOPEFULLY.
IT'S VOLUNTEER RIGHT NOW, BUT
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00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:42,629
FINGERS CROSSED IT TURNS INTO A
PAID GIG SOON.
>> YOU EAT THE DOG FOOD FOR
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00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,864
FREE?
OH, MY GOD.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
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00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:49,569
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING
ON.
THIS DUDE HAS OBVIOUSLY GOT THE
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00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:52,872
BADDEST BITCH I EVER SEEN, AND
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
SORRY, EVERYBODY.
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00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:57,243
I JUST HAD A STROKE.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET BACK TO IT.
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00:12:57,243 --> 00:13:02,382
JUST TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW THIS
ABSOLUTE DIME IS MARRIED TO MATT
SCHATT.
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00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:07,721
OH, BETH, YOU GOT AN ANSWER?
>> I THINK I DO.
HE OBVIOUSLY GAVE HER A KIDNEY
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00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:12,759
AND SAVED HER LIFE.
>> HE DIDN'T GIVE ME A KIDNEY.
>> ROB, CHANCE TO STEAL.
126
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:17,197
>> HE'S A HANGING EIGHT BUT A
STANDING 12?
>> NO.
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00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:24,704
AND FYI, HE'S HANGING FIVE AND
WHEN HE STANDS IT'S A FOUR.
>> SO WHEN HE GETS EXCITED IT
128
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:30,710
GETS SMALLER?
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
ONE OF THOSE THINGS.
129
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:36,082
>> I'M BUZZING IN ON THIS ONE.
HERE'S WHAT I THINK, SHE
HYPNOTIZED.
130
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:41,588
>> YOU'RE ALL SOUNDING CRAZY.
LOOK AT MY HUSBAND.
I THINK IT'S OBVIOUS WHY I'M
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00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:44,824
WITH HIM.
>> THE JUDGES SAY NO.
>> I'M SORRY.
132
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:49,529
CAN WE PLAY THE GAME NOW OR --
>> OF COURSE, OF COURSE.
I'M SORRY.
133
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:54,834
MATT AND CARMEN, YOU WON THE
COIN TOSS BACKSTAGE, SO THE
FIRST QUESTION GOES TO YOU.
134
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:59,172
>> OH, MY GOSH.
I'M SO NERVOUS.
I'M LIKE ALREADY SWEATING.
135
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,775
ONE SECOND.
>> FREEZE.
ZOOM IN ON THIS.
136
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:08,081
>> WHAT?
>> WHAT IN THE HECK?
MATT PAT SCHATT HAS GOT A
137
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:13,053
GRIFFIN NIPPLES.
LOOK AT ALL OF THESE.
EWW.
138
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:16,690
>> YEAH.
EVERY COUPLE OF YEARS, A NEW ONE
POPS UP.
139
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:21,695
JUST ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE
THINGS.
>> BABE, PUT YOUR SHIRT DOWN.
140
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:25,865
I'M GOING TO GET TOO EXCITED.
>> BUT WHY, THOUGH?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
141
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:30,070
LET'S JUST TAKE A BREAK WHILE I
HAVE ANOTHER STROKE.
BECAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND
142
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:33,873
WHAT'S GOING ON.
SHE BAD.
RIGHT?
143
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:34,974
SHE BAD.
RIGHT?
SHE BAD.
144
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:46,386
BARBIE MOVIE, BUT NOT ALL DOLLS
LIVE IN A DREAM HOUSE.
SOME ARE BIGGER, YOUNGER,
145
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:51,091
SADDER.
SOME DOLLS ARE AMERICAN GIRLS.
>> HI, KIRSTEN.
146
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:57,364
>> HI MOLLY.
>> HI SAMANTHA.
>> AND I'M ADDY.
147
00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:02,402
NO ONE SAID HI TO ME.
>> THIS SUMMER, A NEW LIVE
ACTION STORY ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE
148
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:10,243
HISTORICALLY ACCURATE DOLLS,
EACH WITH THEIR OWN BACK STORY.
>> I'M FROM VICTORIAN TIMES.
149
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:14,781
I WATCHED MY PARENTS DIE IN A
BOAT.
>> THAT'S OKAY.
150
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:20,687
MY DADDY'S A PRISONER OF WAR,
AND TRAGICALLY, I HAVE GLASSES.
>> THAT'S OKAY.
151
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:24,257
MY MAMA IS DEAD.
>> THAT'S OKAY.
I DON'T KNOW MY BIRTHDAY BECAUSE
152
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:32,332
I'M A RUN AWAY SLAVE.
>> LET'S PLAY.
>> YEA!
153
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:38,972
>> DO THEY HAVE PINK CORVETTES?
NOPE, BOYFRIENDS, NO WAY.
DID ALL THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS DIE
154
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:44,344
OF VAGUE OLD-TIMEY DISEASES?
ABSOLUTELY.
>> FASHION SHOW.
155
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:52,619
>> COME FOR THE FUN, STAY FOR
THE OVERBURDENED PRETEENS
WEARING FOUR LAYERS OF COATS AND
156
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:56,823
PANTALOONS.
>> WHAT'S WRONG?
YOU'VE BARELY TOUCHED YOUR TEA.
157
00:15:56,823 --> 00:16:07,667
>> THE MEMORY OF MY MAMA IS
SLIPPING AWAY.
LOOK WHAT I CAN DO.
158
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:12,472
>> THAT'S OKAY.
>> YEAH.
>> AUDIENCES ARE RAVING.
159
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:17,677
WE LOVED IT, SAYS GIRLS WHO
PLAYED SOCCER MAGAZINE.
THE NEW YORK TIMES WRITES, THESE
160
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:21,348
LITTLE GIRLS ARE GOING THROUGH
TOO MUCH.
>> WHAT DO YOU SAY, GIRLS,
161
00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:24,050
SHOULD WE HAVE A SLEEPOVER
TONIGHT?
>> YEA.
162
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:27,954
>> WHAT ABOUT YOU, ADDY?
>> I'M GOOD.
I DON'T TRUST NONE OF Y'ALL.
163
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:33,093
>> WATCH AS THE AMERICAN GIRLS
TRAVEL ON A JOURNEY FROM
AMERICAN GIRL LAND TO THE MODERN
164
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:36,329
WORLD.
>> I'M GOING TO STOP WORLD WAR
II.
165
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:44,804
>> AND I'M GOING TO STOP THE
SPANISH AMERICAN WAR.
>> AND I'M GOING TO END CHOLERA.
166
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:48,074
SPANISH AMERICAN WAR.
>> AND I'M GOING TO END CHOLERA.
>> THAT'S OKAY.
167
00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:02,088
A PRODUCER.
I'M ABOUT TO RELEASE MY FIRST
ALBUM.
168
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:04,491
JALAPENO JONES.
>> THANKS FOR HELPING US OUT
TODAY.
169
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:09,462
>> HOW Y'ALL DOING?
>> WHAT'S GOOD, SPICY?
>> WE JUST LOOKING FOR A NEW
170
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:15,035
PRODUCER TAG FOR MY BEATS,
SOMETHING SEXY AND COOL.
>> FOR EXAMPLE, SOMETHING LIKE,
171
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:20,807
MAKE THAT MUSIC.
>> AND WE'VE HEARD YOU HAVE SOME
BEAUTIFUL VOICES, SO WE NEED TO
172
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:25,812
HEAR YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE,
YOUNG SPICY SO FUEGO.
>> WE CAN DO THAT.
173
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:33,586
>> WE GOT YOU, MR. SPICY.
>> I'M GOING TO START THE BEAT,
YOU TWO TAKE IT AWAY, AND WE'LL
174
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:37,590
GET SOME LUNCH.
>> WE'LL GIVE YOU SOME OPTIONS.
YOUNG SPICY GOT THAT FIRE.
175
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:42,595
>> YOUNG SPICY'S FLAMING HOT.
>> EXACTLY LIKE THAT.
KEEP THAT GOING.
176
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:50,537
>> OOH, YOUNG SPICY, YOU STUPID.
>> OOH, SPICY CAN'T READ.
>> DAMN, SPICY, YOU ILLITERATE.
177
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:54,274
>> OKAY.
I LOVE IT.
BUT JUST FYI, I CAN READ.
178
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,943
I'M A READER.
>> OKAY.
>> ALL RIGHT.
179
00:17:56,943 --> 00:18:05,518
WE GOT YOU.
WE GOT YOU.
>> OOH, SPICY CAN READ BUT HAS
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00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:08,555
TROUBLES WITH MATH.
>>LET STOP.
>> I THINK WE GOT IT, MAN.
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00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:12,425
LET'S GET SOME LUNCH.
>> NO LUNCH.
SO Y'ALL REMEMBER THE
182
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,862
ASSIGNMENT, RIGHT?
>> WE HEAR YOU.
WE GOOD.
183
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:21,234
>> WE'RE ARTISTS.
WE JUST RESPONDING TO THE VIBES.
>> LET'S DO A DIFFERENT VIBE
184
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:26,106
THEN.
LET'S DO SOMETHING LIKE, TO OH,
SPICY, THESE BEATS NASTY.
185
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:34,514
>> ALL RIGHT, COOL.
>> ONE MORE TAKE AND THEN WE ALL
GETTING GYROS.
186
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:39,652
TZATZIKI SAUCE ON THE SIDE.
TAKE TWO.
>> OH, SPICY, YOU FILTHY FOR
187
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:43,289
THIS.
>> LET'S GET A COUPLE MORE LIKE
THAT, YEAH.
188
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:49,496
>> SPICY, WHY YOU SLEEP NEXT TO
YOUR LAUNDRY.
>> SPICY DON'T WASH HIS PILLOWS.
189
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:54,167
HE'S GROSS.
>> DAMN, SPICY, YOU GOT THAT
DARK RING AROUND YOUR TOILET.
190
00:18:54,167 --> 00:19:00,540
I'M UNCOMFORTABLE HERE.
>> DAMN SPICY, YOU LIKE THAT.
>> STOP.
191
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:07,847
OKAY, LADIES, I AM BEGGING YOU.
CAN Y'ALL SAY SOMETHING LIKE,
OH, THE LADIES LOVE SPICY?
192
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:17,924
>> YEAH.
AND AFTER THIS TAKE, I'M GOING
TO GET SOME HUMMUS WITH THE PITA
193
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:20,927
BREAD.
>> DAMN, SPICY GETTING
EVERYTHING PREGNANT.
194
00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:27,767
>> GETTING CLOSER.
>> THE BABY'S YOURS FOR SURE.
>> DAMN, SPICY, MY WATER BROKE.
195
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:34,574
>> DAMN, SPICY, I'M GOING TO
NAME THE BABY DELONTE.
>> SPICY, DRIVE ME TO THE
196
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:41,881
HOSPITAL IN YOUR 2001 COROLLA.
>> NO, NO BABY STUFF, AND LEAVE
MY COROLLA OUT OF THIS, ALL
197
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:45,819
RIGHT?
TALK ABOUT HOW LIKE SPICY GETS
YOU HOT, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
198
00:19:45,819 --> 00:19:50,323
>> OKAY.
>> DAMN, SPICY GOT ME SWEATING.
>> YEAH, THANK YOU.
199
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:54,561
>> OH, I DON'T USUALLY SWEAT
LIKE THIS.
I'M SCARED.
200
00:19:54,561 --> 00:20:01,201
>> DAMN, SPICY, WHY THE ROOM
SPINNING ALL THE SUDDEN?
>> DAMN, SPICY, ALL I HAD WAS
201
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:05,705
ONE SPRITE.
I SHOULDN'T BE FEELING LIKE
THIS.
202
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:14,381
>> OOH, I THINK SPICY PUT
SOMETHING IN MY DRINK.
>> SPICY NEEDS TO BE ON A WATCH
203
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:16,383
LIST.
>> CUT THAT.
DELETE THAT, ACTUALLY.
204
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:20,587
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S JUST CALL IT A DAY.
I'M GOOD.
205
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:23,423
>> OKAY.
I MEAN, LISTEN --
>> WHATEVER.
206
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,592
I MEAN --
>> RIGHT?
COME ON.
207
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:33,366
>> WE GAVE YOU FUEGO.
>> YOU SHOULD JUST USE THE ONE
ABOUT THE RING AROUND YOUR
208
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:36,770
TOILET FOR REAL.
>> SPICY, CAN I TRY ONE?
PLEASE?
209
00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:41,141
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> YEAH, SPICY GOT THAT FIRE.
>> I LIKE THAT.
210
00:20:41,141 --> 00:20:44,644
>> YEAH, YEAH, SPICY GOT THAT
HEAT.
>> OKAY.
211
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:48,281
>> SPICY STRUGGLES WITH HIS
READING.
>> NO!
212
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:50,417
READING.
>> NO!
>> THAT'S NOT IT?
213
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,906
[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
EXCELENTE.
BEFORE WE GET STARTED, WHAT DID
214
00:21:12,906 --> 00:21:24,718
EVERYONE DO THIS WEEKEND?
AND REMEMBER, ANSWER IN ESPANOL.
>> COMO SE DICE EDIBLES?
215
00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:31,758
>> OKAY.
>> MR. McINTOSH?
>> HOLA, PRINCIPAL DAVIDSON,
216
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:35,595
COMO ESTAS?
>> THE NEW TRANSFER STUDENTS ARE
HERE.
217
00:21:35,595 --> 00:21:43,269
COME ON IN, GUYS.
>> HAVE A SEAT.
[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
218
00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:49,843
I'M ASKING YOUR NAMES IN CASE
>> --
[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
219
00:21:49,843 --> 00:22:03,723
>> --
[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
>> UH-OH.
220
00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:10,063
A LITTLE FAST.
THAT WAS A LITTLE FAST POR ME,
VERY COOL.
221
00:22:10,063 --> 00:22:13,967
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET STARTED.
TODAY, WE'RE GOING OVER OUR
222
00:22:13,967 --> 00:22:21,641
FAVORITE FOODS.
OKAY?
SO, RICKY, WHAT IS YOURS?
223
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:36,823
>> MI FAR VRKS ORITA IS PIZZA.
>> ES PIZZA.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, HUGO?
224
00:22:36,823 --> 00:22:48,101
>> --
[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
>> YUMMY!
225
00:22:48,101 --> 00:22:57,143
>> WHOA!
WHAT DID HE SAY, MR. McINTOSH?
>> SI, SI, I HEARD RICE
226
00:22:57,143 --> 00:23:07,954
SOMEWHERE IN THERE, AKA, NIES.
>> I THINK YOU MEAN ARROZ.
>> YES, YES.
227
00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:10,724
ARROZ.
YES, ARROZ, OF COURSE.
OF COURSE.
228
00:23:10,724 --> 00:23:16,830
SO, HUGO LIKES ARROZ.
ALL RIGHT.
I AM SWEATING A LITTLE BIT.
229
00:23:16,830 --> 00:23:21,301
WHO ELSE WANTS TO SAY THEIR
FAVORITE FOOD?
OKAY.
230
00:23:21,301 --> 00:23:28,641
ANYBODY ELSE?
OKAY.
MARIA.
231
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:53,233
>> --
[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
>> RICO, SI.
232
00:23:53,233 --> 00:23:59,339
>> SENOR McINTOSH, COMO SE DICE
I'M IN LOVE?
>> OKAY.
233
00:23:59,339 --> 00:24:11,351
VERY GOOD PREGUNTA.
ESTOY EMARADO.
>> IN MY COUNTRY, WE SAY --
234
00:24:11,351 --> 00:24:14,154
[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
WHICH MEANS GOING DOWN THE HILL
WITH NO BRAKES.
235
00:24:14,154 --> 00:24:17,323
>> SI.
THAT IS SO MUCH MORE ROMANTIC.
I LOVE THAT.
236
00:24:17,323 --> 00:24:25,532
YOU KNOW, THIS MORNING, I CAME
IN FEELING BUENO, BUT NOW I'M
STARTING TO FEEL ASI ASI.
237
00:24:25,532 --> 00:24:31,538
>> JUST SO YOU KNOW, NO ONE IN
OUR COUNTRY SAY ASI ASI.
>> THAT'S LIKE IF SOMEBODY SAY
238
00:24:31,538 --> 00:24:38,111
HOW ARE YOU, AND YOU SAY, THAT,
THAT.
>> SI, SI, I KNOW.
239
00:24:38,111 --> 00:24:46,786
I WAS KIDDING.
ESTOY KIDDING.
I'M FEELING -- I'M FEELING A
240
00:24:46,786 --> 00:24:59,332
LITTLE CALIENTE UNDER MY COLLAR.
TMA, ES UN TMI, I THINK I GOT
THE RUNS.
241
00:24:59,332 --> 00:25:08,608
I'M GOING HEAD TO EL BANO.
>> WHILE MR. McINTOSH IS GONE,
CAN YOU GUYS TEACH US SOME
242
00:25:08,608 --> 00:25:23,056
STUFF?
>> AND TO HELP US, WE BROUGHT
SOME BACKUP.
243
00:25:23,056 --> 00:25:29,396
>> OKAY, CLASS.
I JUST THINK THAT WE NEED TO
START FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.
244
00:25:29,396 --> 00:25:30,930
>> UH-HUH.
>> THE ALPHABET.
>> OKAY.
245
00:25:30,930 --> 00:25:43,843
HIT IT.
**
**
246
00:25:48,114 --> 00:25:52,819
>>> THAT AFTERPARTY ON SATURDAY
WAS WILD, HUH?
>> SUPER WILD.
247
00:25:52,819 --> 00:25:57,557
THAT OPEN BAR GOT ME GOOD.
CAN'T HELP BUT HAVE A LITTLE
HANGXIETY.
248
00:25:57,557 --> 00:25:59,559
>> ABOUT WHAT?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
I WASN'T LIKE WEIRD TO ANYONE,
249
00:25:59,559 --> 00:26:10,370
WAS I?
MICHAEL LONGFELLOW.
KISS ATTACK.
250
00:26:10,370 --> 00:26:16,543
I WANT TO SEE THEM LONG FELLOWS.
>> DUDE!
STOP IT!
251
00:26:16,543 --> 00:26:21,748
>> THAT'S JUST HANGXIETY, MAN.
IT'S ALWAYS WORSE IN YOUR HEAD
THAN WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
252
00:26:21,748 --> 00:26:25,452
>> OKAY.
COOL.
JUST WOKE UP TO A LOT OF MISSED
253
00:26:25,452 --> 00:26:28,455
CALLS.
NO BIG DEAL.
PROBABLY JUST HANGXIETY.
254
00:26:28,455 --> 00:26:33,393
>> NOTHING TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT,
DUDE.
LIKE, MARK, ME AND YOU ARE FINE,
255
00:26:33,393 --> 00:26:35,695
RIGHT?
WE'RE ALL GOOD?
>> YEAH.
256
00:26:35,695 --> 00:26:41,401
WHY WOULDN'T WE BE?
>> GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK NOW!
>> OH, YOU WANT YOUR PHONE?
257
00:26:41,401 --> 00:26:48,441
>> YEAH, GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK
NOW!
>> JUST MAKING SURE.
258
00:26:48,441 --> 00:26:52,879
ALL GOOD.
>> MAN, HOW MUCH DID WE DRINK?
>> NOT MUCH.
259
00:26:52,879 --> 00:26:58,952
I HAD LIKE TWO NEGRONIS AND
MAYBE LIKE 40 BEERS.
>> WHOEVER WAS BAR TENDING WAS
260
00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:03,690
MAKING THEM STRONG.
>> DUDE, LET ME MAKE IT, YOU'RE
TOO SLOW.
261
00:27:03,690 --> 00:27:09,662
>> I'M FILMING YOU.
>> GO AHEAD, FILM ME.
>> MAKE IT.
262
00:27:09,662 --> 00:27:16,236
>> MAN, WHO ORDERED THE
MARGARINI?
I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING.
263
00:27:16,236 --> 00:27:19,039
>> HEY, GUYS.
>> ANA.
>> THAT PARTY WAS FUN ON
264
00:27:19,039 --> 00:27:21,307
SATURDAY.
>> THANKS FOR COMING.
>> YOU WERE A DELIGHT.
265
00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:27,113
>> AND WERE ME AND YOU KIND OF
VIBING?
>> SO LIKE ARE YOUR THOUGHTS
266
00:27:27,113 --> 00:27:32,485
USUALLY IN SPANISH OR ENGLISH?
>> CAN YOU STOP LIKE YELLING IN
MY MOUTH?
267
00:27:32,485 --> 00:27:37,457
>> YOU'RE HILARIOUS.
>> SERIOUSLY, YOU SMELL LIKE YOU
HAVE A DEAD TOOTH.
268
00:27:37,457 --> 00:27:39,492
>> I LOVE IT.
>> I DON'T THINK SO.
>> COOL.
269
00:27:39,492 --> 00:27:44,664
DIDN'T THINK SO EITHER.
BACK TO WORK.
>> WELL, ANA, EVERYONE LOVED
270
00:27:44,664 --> 00:27:48,401
YOU.
SERIOUSLY, I WAS WITH PEOPLE ALL
NIGHT, AND ALL WE COULD TALK
271
00:27:48,401 --> 00:27:56,109
ABOUT WAS HOW FUN YOU WERE
BEING.
NO!
272
00:27:56,109 --> 00:27:59,746
>> THANK YOU.
IT'S JUST SO NICE TO SEE YOU
GUYS HOW YOU REALLY ARE LIKE A
273
00:27:59,746 --> 00:28:08,521
FAMILY HERE.
* DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME *
>> YOU NEED AUTO TUNE!
274
00:28:08,521 --> 00:28:13,927
YOU NEED AUTO TUNE!
>> YOU'RE A JEALOUS BITCH!
>> LITERALLY THE POT CALLING THE
275
00:28:13,927 --> 00:28:25,105
KETTLE BAD!
>> MY SHIRT!
>> FAMILY.
276
00:28:25,105 --> 00:28:28,241
>> WE ARE.
>> TOTALLY.
>> HEY, GUYS.
277
00:28:28,241 --> 00:28:34,214
OH, IT'S MESSY IN HERE.
THAT'S CRAZY.
I JUST WANT TO SAY YOUR BEHAVIOR
278
00:28:34,214 --> 00:28:40,053
AT THE AFTERPARTY WAS UNACCEPT
LABLE.
>> SORRY, MIKEY.
279
00:28:40,053 --> 00:28:41,955
>> THIS IS A WORK PLACE.
ACT LIKE IT.
>> OKAY, MAN.
280
00:28:41,955 --> 00:28:44,958
ACT LIKE IT.
>> OKAY, MAN.
GOD.
281
00:29:00,473 --> 00:29:22,262
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
**
**
282
00:29:22,262 --> 00:30:00,600
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
283
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:12,112
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
284
00:30:12,112 --> 00:30:24,691
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
285
00:30:24,691 --> 00:30:41,341
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
286
00:30:41,341 --> 00:30:52,819
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
287
00:30:52,819 --> 00:31:06,833
**
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
288
00:31:06,833 --> 00:31:25,919
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
289
00:31:25,919 --> 00:31:36,963
**
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
290
00:31:36,963 --> 00:31:50,744
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
291
00:31:50,744 --> 00:32:00,420
**
**
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
292
00:32:13,466 --> 00:32:18,705
MICHAEL CHE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
293
00:32:18,705 --> 00:32:22,542
GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.
>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE."
I'M MICHAEL CHE.
294
00:32:22,542 --> 00:32:28,081
>> I'M COLIN JOST.
THE PERSON WHO ALLEGEDLY LEAKED
CLASSIFIED PENTAGON DOCUMENTS ON
295
00:32:28,081 --> 00:32:36,756
SOCIAL MEDIA HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED
AS JACK TEIXEIRA WHO IS A
MASSACHUSETTS AIR NATIONAL
296
00:32:36,756 --> 00:32:42,562
GUARDSMAN, I ASSUME IN A SCHOOL
PLAY.
HE SHARED IS DOCUMENT IN A
297
00:32:42,562 --> 00:32:47,133
PRIVATE SOCIAL MEDIA GROUP THAT
MEMBERS SAY STARTED AS A PLACE
WHERE YOUNG MEN COULD PLAY WAR
298
00:32:47,133 --> 00:32:53,406
THEMED VIDEO GAMES, BOND OVER
THEIR LOVE OF GUNS, AND POST
RACIST MEMES, AND NOW IT'S
299
00:32:53,406 --> 00:33:00,513
RUINED.
IT WAS REVEALED THAT JUST BEFORE
HIS ARREST, TEIXEIRA CONTACTED
300
00:33:00,513 --> 00:33:05,352
THE MEMBERS OF HIS GROUP AND
SAID, GUYS, IT'S BEEN GOOD.
I LOVE YOU ALL.
301
00:33:05,352 --> 00:33:12,292
OF COURSE, HIS FRIENDS ALL
REPLIED, GAY.
>> THE ONLINE GROUP TEIXEIRA
302
00:33:12,292 --> 00:33:17,697
STARTED WAS NAMED THUGS SHAKER
CENTRAL.
THAT'S ALSO WHAT COLIN CALLS
303
00:33:17,697 --> 00:33:25,438
ATLANTA.
PRESIDENT BIDEN IS TRYING TO
DOWN PLAY THE RECENT LEAK OF
304
00:33:25,438 --> 00:33:31,144
CLASSIFIED U.S. DOCUMENTS THAT
WERE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA
BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE OVER 80, A
305
00:33:31,144 --> 00:33:36,649
COUPLE OF LEAKS IS NOTHING TO BE
EMBARRASSED ABOUT.
>> IN AN INTERVIEW, DONALD TRUMP
306
00:33:36,649 --> 00:33:40,720
CLAIMED NEW YORK POLICE AND
COURT EMPLOYEES WERE CRYING WHEN
THEY ARRESTED HIM.
307
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:46,693
WHY IS EVERYONE IN TRUMP'S
STORIES ALWAYS CRYING?
>> PEOPLE CAME TO ME AND THEY
308
00:33:46,693 --> 00:33:52,632
SAW ME, AND THEY WERE CRYING.
VERY TOUGH, VERY STRONG, VERY
POWERFUL MEN WERE CRYING.
309
00:33:52,632 --> 00:33:58,571
THEY HAD TEARS IN THEIR EYES.
THEY WERE ALL CRYING.
PEOPLE WERE CRYING.
310
00:33:58,571 --> 00:34:04,277
THESE PEOPLE THAT DIDN'T CRY
WHEN THEY WERE BABIES, AND THEY
WERE CRYING.
311
00:34:04,277 --> 00:34:10,150
A LOT OF THEM WERE CRYING.
>> YOU'RE BRAGGING THAT WHEN
PEOPLE SEE YOU, THEY JUST LIKE
312
00:34:10,150 --> 00:34:14,454
BURST INTO TEARS, BECAUSE IT
NEVER SOUNDS LIKE EXCITED
CRYING.
313
00:34:14,454 --> 00:34:19,659
IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE SCARED
CRYING LIKE WHEN HOSTAGES SEE
JIGSAW.
314
00:34:19,659 --> 00:34:26,733
>> AFTER A JUDGE'S RULING LEFT
ACCESS TO ABORTION PILLS
UNCERTAIN, SOME STATE OFFICIALS
315
00:34:26,733 --> 00:34:33,940
ARE STOCK PILING THEM JUST IN
CASE.
CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR GAVIN NEWSOM
316
00:34:33,940 --> 00:34:44,718
AND NEW YORK COMEDIAN, MICHAEL
CHE.
AFTER IT WAS REVEALED THAT
317
00:34:44,718 --> 00:34:52,692
HARLAN CROWE BOUGHT CLARENCE
THOMAS' HOME, HE SAID HE DID IT
SO HE COULD TURN IT INTO A
318
00:34:52,692 --> 00:34:58,998
MUSEUM CALLED THE SEXUAL
HARASSMENT HALL OF FAME.
>> CONSERVATIVE JUDGES HAVE
319
00:34:58,998 --> 00:35:05,271
DEFENDED THOMAS SAYING HIS DEALS
WITH HARLAN CROWE ARE NOT
CORRUPT BECAUSE HE HAD NO DEALS
320
00:35:05,271 --> 00:35:09,409
BEFORE THE COURT.
DOES THIS BILLIONAIRE STRIKE YOU
AS SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T WANT THEM
321
00:35:09,409 --> 00:35:17,784
TO OVERTURN ROE V WADE?
HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S AN A PAMPHLET
CALLED WHY YOU HAVE TO KEEP IT.
322
00:35:17,784 --> 00:35:21,821
>> PRESIDENT BIDEN TRAVELED TO
IRELAND THIS WEEK AND IS BEING
CALLED THE MOST IRISH PRESIDENT
323
00:35:21,821 --> 00:35:27,861
SINCE KENNEDY.
BIDEN HAS SO MUCH IRISH BLOOD
THAT HE DOESN'T NEED A DRINK TO
324
00:35:27,861 --> 00:35:35,068
SLUR HIS WORDS.
>> WOW.
>> DID THAT GET YOUR PEOPLE?
325
00:35:35,068 --> 00:35:41,274
>> EASY.
SENATOR DIANE FEINSTEIN WHO IS
89 IS FACING CALLS TO RESIGN
326
00:35:41,274 --> 00:35:45,512
FROM FELLOW DEMOCRATS.
UNFORTUNATELY, FEINSTEIN IS
ANSWERING THOSE CALLS ON HER
327
00:35:45,512 --> 00:35:52,619
STAPLER.
>> REPUBLICAN SENATOR TIM SCOTT
OF SOUTH CAROLINA ANNOUNCED THE
328
00:35:52,619 --> 00:35:57,090
LAUNCH OF AN EXPLORATORY
COMMITTEE FOR A 2024
PRESIDENTIAL RUN.
329
00:35:57,090 --> 00:36:03,596
THAT NAME AGAIN IS TIM SCOTT, AS
IN TIM'S GOT NO CHANCE OF BEING
A NOMINEE.
330
00:36:05,498 --> 00:36:11,604
>> THE NEW MARIO BROTHERS MOVIE
IS A HUGE HIT, AND MANY FANS
WERE HOPING FOR AN APPEARANCE
331
00:36:11,604 --> 00:36:18,378
FROM ONE OF THE COOLEST
CHARACTERS, FUNKY KONG.
SO HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS
332
00:36:18,378 --> 00:36:26,386
FUNKY KONG.
>> WHAT'S U COLIN?
WHAT'S UP, LADIES?
333
00:36:26,386 --> 00:36:30,223
WHICH ONE OF Y'ALL GOING HOME
WITH FUNKY KONG.
>> ALL RIGHT.
334
00:36:30,223 --> 00:36:36,363
HOW ARE YOU DOING, FUNKY KONG?
>> I'VE BEEN BETTER.
I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE ALL
335
00:36:36,363 --> 00:36:43,236
OVER THIS MOVIE THAT JUST MADE
$500 MILLION -- 600.
BUT THIS IS HOW MUCH YOU GET TO
336
00:36:43,236 --> 00:36:45,739
SEE OF ME.
>> YOU'RE JUST IN THE
BACKGROUND?
337
00:36:45,739 --> 00:36:50,410
WHAT HAPPENED?
>> THEY CUT ME OUT.
I GUESS I'M TOO REAL FOR THEM.
338
00:36:50,410 --> 00:36:56,316
THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR WHAT I
GOTS TO SAY, AND THEY SURE AS
HELL DON'T WANT TO WATCH ME
339
00:36:56,316 --> 00:37:00,854
WORK.
BRING IT BACK.
**
340
00:37:00,854 --> 00:37:05,191
>> WOW.
I'M SO SORRY YOU GOT CUT.
>> FUNKY DON'T WANT TO BE WHAT
341
00:37:05,191 --> 00:37:14,701
THEY WANT, COLIN.
FUNKY DON'T THROW NO BARRELS.
FUNKY KONG SPENDS ALL DAY
342
00:37:14,701 --> 00:37:21,808
CRUISING IN MY CART AND MY
NIGHTS WITH A GLASS FULL OF
BANANA RUM AND A BED FULL OF
343
00:37:21,808 --> 00:37:26,780
TOADS.
>> ARE THE TOADS MALE OR FEMALE?
>> FUNKY DON'T KNOW, FUNKY DON'T
344
00:37:26,780 --> 00:37:32,085
ASK.
>> IT'S A SHAME YOU'RE NOT IN
THE MOVIE BECAUSE YOUR COUSIN
345
00:37:32,085 --> 00:37:36,790
DONKEY KONG IS A MAJOR
CHARACTER.
>> YEAH, DONKEY KONG IS ALL UP
346
00:37:36,790 --> 00:37:41,161
IN IT.
BUT THEY AIN'T EVEN USE MONKEY
KONG.
347
00:37:41,161 --> 00:37:46,266
>> WHO IS MONKEY KONG?
>> HE'S A DONKEY.
THEM JAPANESE PEOPLE SURE ARE
348
00:37:46,266 --> 00:37:48,902
INTERESTING.
YOU KNOW THEY KICKED ME OFF THE
SET?
349
00:37:48,902 --> 00:37:52,572
>> WHAT?
WHY?
>> BECAUSE I WAS IN MY TRAILER
350
00:37:52,572 --> 00:38:00,613
DRUMMING ON BOOTY CHEEKS LIKE
BONGOS.
I WAS IN THERE LIKE, BOOTY
351
00:38:00,613 --> 00:38:07,320
CHEEKS, BOOTY CHEEKS.
>> GREAT.
REALLY GREAT.
352
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:12,359
SO YOU WERE ORIGINALLY IN THE
MOVIE.
>> ABSOLUTELY, MAN.
353
00:38:12,359 --> 00:38:17,731
I HAD A FEW CHOICE SCENES.
I WAS INCREDIBLE.
I EVEN HAVE THE OLD SCRIPT RIGHT
354
00:38:17,731 --> 00:38:23,269
HERE.
READ THIS WITH ME.
I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I'M TALKING
355
00:38:23,269 --> 00:38:30,043
ABOUT.
YOU BE MARIO AND LUIGI.
>> LUIGI, WE GOT TO GET TO THE
356
00:38:30,043 --> 00:38:33,813
CASTLE.
BUT THE FASTEST WAY IS RAINBOW
ROAD.
357
00:38:33,813 --> 00:38:36,316
MARIO, RAINBOW ROAD?
WE'LL FALL OFF.
>> MAN, AIN'T NO BITCHES IN
358
00:38:36,316 --> 00:38:40,820
HERE.
>> I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT'S THE
ORIGINAL LINE.
359
00:38:40,820 --> 00:38:45,058
>> I TOLD YOU, MAN.
I WAS DOPE.
GO TO PAGE 36, MAN.
360
00:38:45,058 --> 00:38:49,229
THE SCENE WITH ME AND PEACH.
>> YOU AND PEACH.
OKAY.
361
00:38:49,229 --> 00:38:57,170
PRINCESS PEACH, FUNKY KONG,
THEY'RE HOLDING OUR FRIENDS
PRISONER AT WARIO STADIUM.
362
00:38:57,170 --> 00:39:04,310
CAN YOU HELP?
>> GIRL, WHY DON'T YOU GO ON AND
OPEN UP THAT PEACH AND LET ME
363
00:39:04,310 --> 00:39:08,448
SEE WHAT'S INSIDE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
HONESTLY, I CAN SEE WHY THEY CUT
364
00:39:08,448 --> 00:39:11,818
YOU OUT.
>> COME ON.
PEOPLE WOULD HAVE EATEN THAT UP,
365
00:39:11,818 --> 00:39:15,155
MAN.
YOU EVER HAD MONKEY MEAT?
>> NO.
366
00:39:15,155 --> 00:39:20,093
>> THAT'S NOT WHAT YOUR MAMA
SAID LAST NIGHT.
BRING IT BACK!
367
00:39:20,093 --> 00:39:25,031
BRING IT BACK!
>> FUNKY KONG, EVERYONE.
>> I'LL TAKE THAT.
368
00:39:30,670 --> 00:39:42,682
TITLE FORMERLY KNOWN AS
MS. STATEN ISLAND.
LOSER.
369
00:39:42,682 --> 00:39:51,925
>> YOU AND FUNKY KONG?
ARCHEOLOGISTS HAVE DISCOVERED A
THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD SCOREBOARD
370
00:39:51,925 --> 00:39:57,664
USED FOR AN ANCIENT MAYAN BALL
GAME.
THE SCORE WAS MAYANS 24, NEW
371
00:39:57,664 --> 00:40:03,336
YORK JETS, 0.
THE DEPARTMENT OF SANITATION HAS
LAUNCHED ITS FIRST CAMPAIGN WITH
372
00:40:03,336 --> 00:40:08,975
MESSAGES SUCH AS, IF YOU LITTER,
YOU'RE GARBAGE, WHICH IS
ACTUALLY DIALLED BACK FROM THE
373
00:40:08,975 --> 00:40:13,880
ORIGINAL VERSION, YOUR LITTER
BELONGS IN THE TRASH NEXT TO
YOUR WHORE WIFE.
374
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:20,253
>> A PROPOSED BILL IN CALIFORNIA
WOULD CREATE AN ALERT SYSTEM FOR
MISSING BLACK WOMEN AND KIDS.
375
00:40:20,253 --> 00:40:31,231
THIS IS IN ADDITION TO THE ALERT
SYSTEM FOR MISSING WHITE WOMEN
AND KIDS, THE NEWS.
376
00:40:35,035 --> 00:40:40,407
>> WITH MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES
ON THE RISE, SOME AMERICANS ARE
SEEKING ALTERNATIVE FORMS OF
377
00:40:40,407 --> 00:40:45,945
WELLNESS.
HERE TO HELP IS MEDITATION GURU
GENESIS FRY.
378
00:40:45,945 --> 00:40:52,252
>> HELLO, COLIN.
JOIN ME, WON'T YOU, ON A GUIDED
MEDITATION TO THE CENTER OF YOUR
379
00:40:52,252 --> 00:40:56,089
MIND.
>> OH.
LIKE RIGHT NOW?
380
00:40:56,089 --> 00:41:01,661
>> YES, COLIN.
COLIN, ARE YOU READY TO MEET
COLIN?
381
00:41:01,661 --> 00:41:07,067
>> OH, I DON'T KNOW.
I'M SCARED.
>> COLIN, TAKE MY HAND.
382
00:41:07,067 --> 00:41:12,739
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
>> OKAY.
>> I WANT YOU TO PICTURE
383
00:41:12,739 --> 00:41:20,647
YOURSELF AFTER THE SHOW TONIGHT,
COLIN.
AS USUAL, FANS ARE TAKING
384
00:41:20,647 --> 00:41:29,089
PICTURES WITH CHLOE, SELFIES
WITH BOWEN.
YOU STEP OUTSIDE, AND NOT A
385
00:41:29,089 --> 00:41:32,392
SINGLE BALL FLASHES.
>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.
>> RELAX.
386
00:41:32,392 --> 00:41:36,596
RELAX YOUR ARMS, RELAX YOUR
BODY, RELAX YOUR ARMS.
SOFTER THAN I IMAGINED.
387
00:41:36,596 --> 00:41:47,273
>> OKAY.
>> YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR WITHOUT
ACKNOWLEDGING YOUR DRIVER.
388
00:41:47,273 --> 00:41:50,643
HE'S LIKE A SUBHUMAN CREATURE TO
YOU.
>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.
389
00:41:50,643 --> 00:41:55,582
>> WHAT'S HIS NAME, COLIN?
>> IT'S -- LET'S JUST FOCUS ON
THE MEDITATION RIGHT NOW.
390
00:41:55,582 --> 00:42:03,156
>> YOU GET HOME AND YOU REWATCH
TONIGHT'S UPDATE.
21 LAUGHS FOR MICHAEL, FOUR FOR
391
00:42:03,156 --> 00:42:07,894
YOU.
YOU'RE IMPROVING, BUT IT'S SLOW.
>> GENESIS, COME ON.
392
00:42:07,894 --> 00:42:12,465
>> SHH, COLIN, RELAX.
RELAX.
>> I'M RELAXED.
393
00:42:12,465 --> 00:42:16,903
>> RELAX.
>> I'M RELAXED.
>> REPEAT AFTER ME, I AM COLIN
394
00:42:16,903 --> 00:42:20,240
JOST.
>> I AM COLIN JOST.
>> I AM FULL OF LIGHT.
395
00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:26,880
>> I AM FULL OF LIGHT.
>> EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE.
>> EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE.
396
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:33,186
>> WAS SIMPLY HANDED TO ME.
>> I AM NOT SAYING THAT.
>> IT'S OKAY, COLIN.
397
00:42:33,186 --> 00:42:37,924
IT'S NATURAL THE FIGHT AGAINST
THE BREAKTHROUGH.
GIVE ME YOUR HAND.
398
00:42:37,924 --> 00:42:40,960
>> YOU'RE ALREADY HOLDING MY
HAND.
>> I KNOW.
399
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:45,532
WOW, IT'S SO SOFT.
YOU'VE NEVER DONE AN HONEST
DAY'S WORK IN YOUR LIFE.
400
00:42:45,532 --> 00:42:49,836
>> NO, NO.
>> RELAX.
PICTURE IT, COLIN.
401
00:42:49,836 --> 00:42:55,842
YOU'RE IN YOUR DRESSING ROOM
AFTER THE SHOW TONIGHT STILL
FUMING ABOUT THE BILINGUAL
402
00:42:55,842 --> 00:43:09,289
MONOLOGUE!
>> THAT WOULD NOT UPSET ME!
>> YOU'RE SO ALONE.
403
00:43:09,289 --> 00:43:15,695
THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO
CARES ABOUT YOU IS ANTONIO.
>> WHO IS ANTONIO?
404
00:43:15,695 --> 00:43:29,809
>> YOUR DRIVER, COLIN!
SO SUNDAY MORNING, PICTURE IT,
COLIN, YOU'RE STANDING IN THE
405
00:43:29,809 --> 00:43:35,448
NBC GIFT SHOP TO SEE IF ANYONE
RECOGNIZES YOU.
>> SUNDAY MORNING?
406
00:43:35,448 --> 00:43:42,856
>> NO ONE DOES.
FINALLY, A MAN SEES YOU, HE RUNS
UP TO YOU SO EXCITED.
407
00:43:42,856 --> 00:43:48,628
COLIN JOST, COLIN JOST, HE SAYS.
AND HE SERVES YOU WITH COURT
PAPERS.
408
00:43:48,628 --> 00:43:53,933
>> COURT PAPERS?
>> TURNS OUT, SOMEONE DOES
RECOGNIZE YOU, 32 WOMEN TO BE
409
00:43:53,933 --> 00:44:00,507
EXACT.
>> YOU'RE MAKING THIS UP.
>> REPEAT AFTER ME, COLIN.
410
00:44:00,507 --> 00:44:03,777
I AM COLIN JOST.
>> I AM COLIN JOST.
>> I AM A STAR.
411
00:44:03,777 --> 00:44:08,915
>> I AM A STAR.
>> IF YOU WANT TO SHINE LIKE THE
SUN, FIRST YOU HAVE TO BURN LIKE
412
00:44:08,915 --> 00:44:12,585
IT.
>> IF YOU WANT TO SHINE LIKE THE
SUN, FIRST YOU HAVE TO BURN LIKE
413
00:44:12,585 --> 00:44:15,488
IT.
>> YOU DID IT, COLIN!
YES!
414
00:44:15,488 --> 00:44:19,392
>> WOW.
I ACTUALLY LOVE THAT LAST QUOTE.
DID YOU JUST COME UP WITH THAT?
415
00:44:19,392 --> 00:44:23,163
>> NO.
IT'S A FAMOUS HITLER QUOTE,
COLIN.
416
00:44:23,163 --> 00:44:37,877
AND NOW IT'S A YOU QUOTE TOO.
>> ALL RIGHT.
GENESIS FRY, EVERYONE.
417
00:44:44,584 --> 00:44:52,158
>> A NEW REPORT FROM THE CDC
SHOWS THAT IN 2021, CASES OF
SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES
418
00:44:52,158 --> 00:44:59,666
JUMPED BY 7% TO WHAT EXPERTS
DESCRIBE AS NURSING HOME LEVELS.
IT'S HAPPENING, GUYS.
419
00:44:59,666 --> 00:45:10,143
>> A NEW STUDY SUGGESTS THE
AVERAGE MAN EXAGGERATES THE
LENGTH OF THEIR PENIS BY 20%,
420
00:45:10,143 --> 00:45:21,121
BUT AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO ADD
20% FOR TIP?
>> TWO 81-YEAR-OLD WOMEN HAVE
421
00:45:21,121 --> 00:45:32,832
TRAVELED THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS
AFTER THE POST OFFICE LOST THEIR
ASHES.
422
00:45:32,832 --> 00:45:40,073
>> A GROUP OF HIKERS IN GREAT
BRITAIN HAD TO BE RESCUED WHEN
THEY GOT LOST AFTER TAKING
423
00:45:40,073 --> 00:45:44,244
PSYCHEDELIC MUSHROOMS.
MORE EMBARRASSING, THEY NEVER
ACTUALLY LEFT THE HOUSE.
424
00:45:44,244 --> 00:45:50,950
AND POLICE IN AUSTRALIA ARRESTED
A MAN AFTER HE WAS CAUGHT AT A
BUS STOP MASTURBATING FOR OVER
425
00:45:50,950 --> 00:45:55,121
AN HOUR.
AUSTRALIA, WHERE THE POLICE LET
YOU FINISH.
426
00:45:56,656 --> 00:46:05,498
>> SINCE THE START OF THIS YEAR,
OVER 400 ANTI --
[ LAUGHTER ]
427
00:46:05,498 --> 00:46:14,607
SINCE THE START OF THIS YEAR,
OVER 400 ANTI-LBGTQ BILLS HAVE
BEEN INTRODUCED ACROSS THE
428
00:46:14,607 --> 00:46:20,547
COUNTRY, MANY OF WHICH TARGET
TRANSYOUTH.
HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS SOMEONE
429
00:46:20,547 --> 00:46:29,589
WITH THEIR OWN INTRODUCTION.
>> INTRODUCING SNL'S FIRST
NONBINARY CAST MEMBER.
430
00:46:29,589 --> 00:46:37,197
IT'S MOLLY KEARNEY!
>> THANK YOU, MR. CHE.
>> MOLLY, WHAT IS ALL THIS.
431
00:46:37,197 --> 00:46:42,769
>> WELL, AS YOU KNOW, I HAVE
BEEN WANTING TO COME TO UPDATE
AND TALK ABOUT TRANSPEOPLE, BUT
432
00:46:42,769 --> 00:46:48,375
I HAVE FOR A MUCH LONGER TIME
THAN THAT WANTED TO FLY DOWN
FROM THE CEILING.
433
00:46:48,375 --> 00:46:53,346
>> DID IT LIVE UP TO YOUR
EXPECTATIONS?
>> YEAH.
434
00:46:53,346 --> 00:46:59,419
BUT THIS HARNESS IS PRETTY TIGHT
AND MY GROIN AREA IS BEEFED.
I HAVE BEEN HUNG UP ON MY
435
00:46:59,419 --> 00:47:06,626
GENITALS FOR FAR TOO LONG, AND
I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE A
FREAKING REPUBLICAN LAWMAKER.
436
00:47:06,626 --> 00:47:09,863
HELLO.
>> THAT'S AN AWESOME TRANSITION.
AS OF THIS WEEK, THERE ARE NOW
437
00:47:09,863 --> 00:47:15,135
OVER 14 STATES THAT HAVE PASSED
BILLS RESTRICTING HEALTH CARE
FOR TRANSKIDS.
438
00:47:15,135 --> 00:47:19,172
>> LISTEN TO THAT, MICHAEL,
RESTRICTING HEALTH CARE FOR
KIDS.
439
00:47:19,172 --> 00:47:24,811
FOR SOME REASON, THERE'S
SOMETHING ABOUT THE WORD TRANS
THAT MAKES PEOPLE FORGET THE
440
00:47:24,811 --> 00:47:29,749
WORD KIDS.
IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT
TRANSKIDS LIVES, IT MEANS YOU
441
00:47:29,749 --> 00:47:34,621
DON'T CARE ABOUT FREAKING KIDS'
LIVES.
>> WOW.
442
00:47:34,621 --> 00:47:37,390
I CAN TELL YOU'RE REALLY UPSET
ABOUT THAT.
>> I AM!
443
00:47:37,390 --> 00:47:42,862
AND ALSO, MY LEGS ARE GOING
NUMB, AND I MIGHT PASS OUT.
>> HOW LONG WERE YOU HANGING UP
444
00:47:42,862 --> 00:47:44,964
THERE?
>> LONGER THAN I WOULD HAVE
LIKED.
445
00:47:44,964 --> 00:47:50,637
I TRIED TO CALL DOWN, BUT NO ONE
COULD HEAR ME.
AT ONE POINT, I HEARD A CREW GUY
446
00:47:50,637 --> 00:47:57,844
SAY, IS SHE GONNA DIE UP THERE.
AND THEN ANOTHER GUY WAS LIKE,
YOU MEAN, ARE THEY GONNA DIE UP
447
00:47:57,844 --> 00:48:03,450
THERE.
AND THEN THEY BOTH WALKED AWAY
AND DIDN'T HELP, WHICH FEELS A
448
00:48:03,450 --> 00:48:07,754
LOT LIKE HOW TRANSPEOPLE ARE
BEING TREATED RIGHT NOW.
BUT DON'T WORRY.
449
00:48:07,754 --> 00:48:13,226
WE HAVE A CODE WORD FOR
EMERGENCIES, AND IT WAS
TRANSRIGHTS.
450
00:48:13,226 --> 00:48:18,565
OH, MY GOSH.
GOOD GOLLY!
THAT WAS THE CODE FOR CONFETTI!
451
00:48:18,565 --> 00:48:21,768
MY BAD.
>> THAT WAS SO LOUD.
>> WELL, YEAH.
452
00:48:21,768 --> 00:48:28,641
PEOPLE NEED TO WAKE UP!
WE ARE MAKING TRANS KIDS GROW UP
TOO FAST.
453
00:48:28,641 --> 00:48:33,046
WE SHOULD BE KEEPING THEM SAFE,
AND WE NEED TO LIFT THEM UP.
NOT ME, THEM.
454
00:48:33,046 --> 00:48:43,390
I MEAN THE KIDS!
THEY GOT MY PRONOUNS RIGHT,
LET'S GO!
455
00:48:43,390 --> 00:48:46,259
WAIT A MINUTE.
BEFORE I GO.
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
456
00:48:46,259 --> 00:48:51,231
WHAT'S HAPPENING, KIDS, IS
WRONG.
AND YOU DON'T NEED TO BE SCARED.
457
00:48:51,231 --> 00:48:57,404
OUR JOB IS TO PROTECT YOU, AND
YOUR JOB IS TO FOCUS ON BEING A
KID.
458
00:48:57,404 --> 00:49:02,909
IT'S KIND OF LIKE ME FLYING IN
THE SNL SKY.
THERE'S A BUNCH OF DUDES ASKING
459
00:49:02,909 --> 00:49:09,749
YOU ABOUT YOUR CROTCH AND
CONTROLLING WHEN AND WHERE YOU
GET TO PEE.
460
00:49:09,749 --> 00:49:16,022
IF YOU JUST HANG ON, YOU'LL LOOK
UP AND REALIZE, YOU'RE FLYING,
KID.
461
00:49:16,022 --> 00:49:26,566
HEY, MR. CHE, AND I STILL IN THE
FRAME?
>> YOUR FEET
462
00:49:35,909 --> 00:49:41,081
>>> OH, MY GOSH.
THIS WEDDING HAS BEEN UNREAL.
NADINE IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL
463
00:49:41,081 --> 00:49:46,219
BRIDE.
>> CHANDLER IS ONE LUCKY GUY.
>> HE SURE IS.
464
00:49:46,219 --> 00:49:54,060
HEY, SHINA, BY THE WAY, I KNOW
IT'S TOUGH COMING TO A WEDDING
AFTER A BREAKUP, BUT I THINK
465
00:49:54,060 --> 00:49:58,398
IT'S SO SWEET YOUR BABY SISTER
CAME ALL THE WAY HERE TO BE YOUR
DATE.
466
00:49:58,398 --> 00:50:01,301
LISA, IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
>> YEAH.
THAT'S CUTE.
467
00:50:01,301 --> 00:50:04,637
BUT MY BOX IS CLOSED TONIGHT.
>> I'M SORRY.
WHAT?
468
00:50:04,637 --> 00:50:10,076
>> KELLY, GIRL.
PAY NO MIND TO MY SISTER.
SHE'S SUCH A JOKESTER.
469
00:50:10,076 --> 00:50:14,214
>> ALL RIGHT, MA'AM.
THIS IS ALL THE DRESSING WE
COULD FIND IN THE KITCHEN.
470
00:50:14,214 --> 00:50:19,853
>> WHY IS THIS RANCH BLACK?
>> IT'S BALSAMIC.
>> YOU REALLY LIKE YOUR
471
00:50:19,853 --> 00:50:25,191
DRESSING, HUH?
>> YEAH, EVERYONE ELSE IS JUST
EATING THE SALAD AS SERVED.
472
00:50:25,191 --> 00:50:28,294
>> AND EVERYONE ELSE IS ABOUT TO
BE SICK.
NOT ME.
473
00:50:28,294 --> 00:50:34,734
TOSS MY SALAD.
THE MORE DRESSING YOU PUT ON IT,
THE LESS LIKELY YOU ARE TO GET
474
00:50:34,734 --> 00:50:39,205
ECOLI.
I NEED TO STAY HEALTHY.
I GOT TO BE IN COURT IN THE
475
00:50:39,205 --> 00:50:45,779
MORNING.
>> LISA IS THE LEAD LITIGATOR ON
A CLASS ACTION SUIT AGAINST
476
00:50:45,779 --> 00:50:51,718
BUILD-A-BEAR.
>> THEY GAVE A BUNCH OF
BUILD-A-BEARS TO BALD KIDS, AND
477
00:50:51,718 --> 00:50:56,556
I AIN'T GOT TO TELL YOU WHAT
HAPPENED NEXT.
>> THAT IS REALLY GREAT WORK.
478
00:50:56,556 --> 00:51:03,129
>> SIS, SWITCH ME SEATS, YOUR
LESBIAN FRIEND IS TRYING TO GET
THE BOX TONIGHT.
479
00:51:03,129 --> 00:51:07,701
IT AIN'T HAPPENING, BOO.
>> DO I COME OFF FLIRTING?
BECAUSE I'M NOT.
480
00:51:07,701 --> 00:51:11,571
>> KELLY, YOU'RE FINE.
LISA, CAN YOU PLEASE CHILL?
>> WHATEVER.
481
00:51:11,571 --> 00:51:15,742
I'M GOING TO SIT BACK, RELAX,
AND FIX THIS SALAD.
OKAY?
482
00:51:15,742 --> 00:51:21,781
HOLD ON.
HUH-HUH.
WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD
483
00:51:21,781 --> 00:51:24,351
IDEA?
RAW SOLOMON.
>> WELL, IT'S SMOKED.
484
00:51:24,351 --> 00:51:33,793
>> SMOKED.
PINK AS IT IS, LOOK LIKE A FRUIT
ROLLUP, HUH-HUH.
485
00:51:33,793 --> 00:51:38,898
COOK MY MEAT.
I'M GOING TO MIX THIS ALL UP FOR
ALL OF US.
486
00:51:38,898 --> 00:51:40,900
YEAH?
OKAY.
>> WELL, ANYWAYS, I HAVE TO TELL
487
00:51:40,900 --> 00:51:46,740
YOU GUYS ABOUT THIS EMBARRASSING
DATE I WENT ON.
>> THIS ABOUT TO BE A MEAN ASS
488
00:51:46,740 --> 00:51:49,843
SALAD.
>> SO WE WENT TO A MOVIE AND
ENDED UP BACK AT MY PLACE.
489
00:51:49,843 --> 00:51:55,315
AS SOON AS WE WALKED IN, A MOUSE
RUNS ACROSS --
>> YOU GOT ANY RANCH ON YOU?
490
00:51:55,315 --> 00:52:00,687
>> CAN YOU PLEASE JUST EAT?
>> BUT I NEED RANCH.
EVERYBODY KNOWS LETTUCE IS NASTY
491
00:52:00,687 --> 00:52:06,593
WITHOUT RANCH.
>> NOW I'M WORRIED THAT HE SAW
THE MOUSE.
492
00:52:06,593 --> 00:52:10,697
BUT THEN HE'S LIKE, NO, NO, IT'S
FINE.
WE'LL JUST GO TO MY PLACE.
493
00:52:10,697 --> 00:52:15,368
>> WOW, WHAT A GENTLEMAN.
>> SMART MAN.
>> COME ON, SIS.
494
00:52:15,368 --> 00:52:20,140
WHAT HAPPENED TO US JUST
CHILLING?
>> I AM CHILLING.
495
00:52:20,140 --> 00:52:25,078
I'M CHILLIN.
WHAT?
I'M CHILLIN.
496
00:52:25,078 --> 00:52:33,086
I'M MINDING MY BUSINESS.
THIS SALAD GOING TO BE ALL
RIGHT, BUT I'M GOING TO NEED IT
497
00:52:33,086 --> 00:52:37,624
TO BE BUSSIN.
I HEARD THE GIRL.
SHE SAID HER HOUSE IS DIRTY.
498
00:52:37,624 --> 00:52:40,260
>> LISA.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
499
00:52:40,260 --> 00:52:47,834
LISA, CAN YOU PLEASE JUST --
>> I NEED THE LERJ.
I NEED THE LEVERAGE.
500
00:52:47,834 --> 00:52:53,239
WHAT?
GIRL, I HEARD THE GIRL.
CARMEN SAN DIEGO TRYING TO GET
501
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:59,679
THE BOX WHILE SHE GOT
RATATOUILLE AS HE ROOMMATE.
>> WHAT HAPPENED?
502
00:52:59,679 --> 00:53:07,454
A PIECE OF SALMON HIT MY MOTHER.
>> THIS WEDDING IS A MESS.
PEOPLE GETTING HIT WITH SOLOMON
503
00:53:07,454 --> 00:53:12,592
AND THEY PUT RAW SOLOMON IN MY
SALAD.
>> IS SHE SAYING SALMON?
504
00:53:12,592 --> 00:53:18,098
>> THIS IS RUINING OUR SPECIAL
DAY.
>> OH, BECAUSE WE GAY?
505
00:53:18,098 --> 00:53:22,168
>> NO.
WE'RE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR
FIRST DANCE.
506
00:53:22,168 --> 00:53:27,574
>> WHY YOU OVER HERE TALKING TO
ME?
DANCE, BITCH.
507
00:53:27,574 --> 00:53:33,913
Y'ALL SEE THIS, RIGHT?
THERE IS CHAMPAGNE ALL IN THE
FOOD, VEGETABLES EVERYWHERE.
508
00:53:33,913 --> 00:53:38,218
THAT MARRIAGE IS DOOMED.
>> I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU DON'T
WANT TO GET SICK, BUT THIS IS
509
00:53:38,218 --> 00:53:41,221
ALL KIND OF YOUR FAULT.
>> YEAH.
YOU HAVE BEEN DRESSING THAT
510
00:53:41,221 --> 00:53:45,792
SALAD IN A REALLY INSANE WAY.
>> HOLD ON.
I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET Y'ALL
511
00:53:45,792 --> 00:53:51,631
ATTACK MY SISTER, LISA WHO CAME
ALL THE WAY OUT HERE FROM
TEMECULA TO BE MY DATE.
512
00:53:51,631 --> 00:53:55,802
MAYBE SHE'S THE TYPE OF SISTER
THAT CAN'T TAKE NOWHERE.
>> I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT.
513
00:53:55,802 --> 00:54:00,774
>> OH, MY GOD.
MAYBE SHE'S SUCH A BAD LISTENER
IT MAKES YOU WONDER IS THIS
514
00:54:00,774 --> 00:54:04,944
WOMAN HARD OF HEARING?
>> I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT.
>> BUT WHEN IT'S ALL SAID AND
515
00:54:04,944 --> 00:54:11,217
DONE, THIS MY BLOOD RIGHT HERE,
AND SHE BETTER NOT HAVE ONE DRY
LEAF IN THAT DAMN BOWL.
516
00:54:11,217 --> 00:54:19,259
>> TOSS MY SALAD.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
Y'ALL DONE PISSED ME OFF.
517
00:54:19,259 --> 00:54:24,397
I LOST MY APPETITE.
I'M LEAVING.
>> WHERE IS SHE FROM AGAIN?
518
00:54:24,397 --> 00:54:27,267
I'M LEAVING.
>> WHERE IS SHE FROM AGAIN?
>> TEMECULA!
519
00:54:37,444 --> 00:54:42,882
>> HAS IT CRUISED BY ON LOOKS
ITS ENTIRE LIFE?
>> DO YOU CATCH YOUR DOG LOOKING
520
00:54:42,882 --> 00:54:48,988
AT ITSELF IN THE MIRROR?
>> BUT IT SUCKS IN ITS CHEEKS
LIKE THIS?
521
00:54:48,988 --> 00:54:57,197
THEN YOUR DOG MIGHT BE THE
PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR ENTER
STAGE WOOF, ACTING SCHOOL FOR
522
00:54:57,197 --> 00:55:06,873
DOGS.
>> I'M YOLANDA BATISTA, AND I'M
DONNA COLONOSCOPINI.
523
00:55:06,873 --> 00:55:13,513
>> GET IN HERE, HENRY.
NOW, SURE, SURE.
OH, HENRY, OH, OH.
524
00:55:13,513 --> 00:55:20,286
HENRY'S DOING A LITTLE IMPROV.
SURE, HENRY IS THE TOTAL
PACKAGE.
525
00:55:20,286 --> 00:55:27,060
WINNING SMILES, GOLDEN LOCKS,
AND THOSE BIG PHOTO GENERALIC
NUTS.
526
00:55:27,060 --> 00:55:33,800
>> GOOD LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING.
YOU KNOW, CASTING DIRECTORS WANT
TO SEE EMOTIONAL RANGE.
527
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:39,439
>> WATCH.
HENRY, YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOU
HAVE WORMS.
528
00:55:39,439 --> 00:55:45,345
SHOW ME SHOCK.
ALL RIGHT.
>> HENRY, YOU'RE GOING TO THE
529
00:55:45,345 --> 00:55:58,625
VET TO GET CLIPPED, AND THEY
DON'T MEAN YOUR NAILS.
SHOW ME FEAR.
530
00:55:58,625 --> 00:56:01,594
PERFECT.
YOU BOOKED IT.
>> YOU MAY HAVE SEEN THE TRAILER
531
00:56:01,594 --> 00:56:09,135
FOR THAT MOVIE, NONE OF OUR DOGS
GOT THE JOB.
>> BUT DAMN IT, THEY GOT IN THE
532
00:56:09,135 --> 00:56:14,374
ROOM.
JUST LIKE COCO HERE.
>> COCO MAY NOT BE CLASSICAL
533
00:56:14,374 --> 00:56:18,812
BEAUTIFUL, BUT SHE'S DRIPPING IN
SEX APPEAL.
>> IS SHE EVER, AND SHE'LL GO
534
00:56:18,812 --> 00:56:22,849
FULL NUDE IF THE PAY IS RIGHT.
>> SHE'LL DO IT EVEN IF IT'S
NOT.
535
00:56:22,849 --> 00:56:30,957
>> LOOK AT THOSE NIPS.
LOOKING FOR A DOG THAT CAN PULL
OFF ROMANTIC COMEDY?
536
00:56:30,957 --> 00:56:39,265
THEN LOOK NO FURTHER THAN ROMEO.
>> AND ROMEO IS UNDER CONTRACT
WITH DISNEY.
537
00:56:39,265 --> 00:56:42,068
>> HOW?
BY LEARNING OUR PATENTED LADY
AND THE TRAMP TECHNIQUE.
538
00:56:42,068 --> 00:56:57,884
WATCH.
ROMEO.
WOW.
539
00:56:57,884 --> 00:57:08,595
I THINK I'M IN LOVE.
>> THAT'S ADORABLE.
AND CASTABLE.
540
00:57:08,595 --> 00:57:18,471
>> HIGH FIVE, ROMEO.
HE'S A REGULAR MARLAN BRAND DOG.
OUR INSTRUCTORS ARE READY TO
541
00:57:18,471 --> 00:57:23,043
HANDLE EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR
DOG'S CAREER FROM SOCIAL MEDIA
TO HEAD SHOTS.
542
00:57:23,043 --> 00:57:27,914
>> AND WE CAN EVEN COVER UP
EMBARRASSING SCANDALS.
>> YEAH.
543
00:57:27,914 --> 00:57:32,652
LIKE IF YOUR DOG IS STINKY AND
GETS CAUGHT HOOKING UP WITH A
CAT.
544
00:57:32,652 --> 00:57:38,091
>> NOT CONVINCED.
LISTEN TO THIS SATISFIED
CUSTOMER.
545
00:57:38,091 --> 00:57:43,263
>> THIS IS MAITI.
HE HAS BEEN TAKING CLASSES HERE
FOR YEARS.
546
00:57:43,263 --> 00:57:49,302
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE HIM FROM
THE MOVIE MOONLIGHT WHERE HE WAS
WALKING BY ON THE BEACH DURING
547
00:57:49,302 --> 00:57:53,239
THE HAND JOB SCENE.
THAT WAS A FUN SET.
THANK YOU DOG ACTING SCHOOL.
548
00:57:53,239 --> 00:58:00,547
>> DID SOMEONE SAY ACCENT?
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS TALENTED
POOCH.
549
00:58:00,547 --> 00:58:10,457
>> BISCUIT, DO FRENCH.
>> LE WOOF!
>> WOW, LE WOOF, I THINK THAT
550
00:58:10,457 --> 00:58:17,230
MEANS, THE BARK.
>> WE EVEN TEACH PUPPIES.
LIKE THIS LITTLE FELLA NAMED
551
00:58:17,230 --> 00:58:23,737
JELLY BEAN.
>> NOW, JELLY BEAN JUST GOT CAST
IN A MOVIE WHERE HE PLAYS AN
552
00:58:23,737 --> 00:58:29,709
ALIEN THAT DESTROYS SEATTLE.
LET REHEARSE.
GO.
553
00:58:29,709 --> 00:58:42,088
GO.
>> GO, GO.
>> DESTROY.
554
00:58:42,088 --> 00:58:45,592
GET IN THERE.
OH, SEATTLE.
OH, NO, SEATTLE.
555
00:58:45,592 --> 00:58:49,562
OH, NO.
OH, NO.
OKAY.
556
00:58:49,562 --> 00:58:57,137
WOW.
GOOD JOB, JELLY BEAN.
>> PEOPLE IN SEATTLE ARE DEAD.
557
00:58:57,137 --> 00:59:05,278
SO ENROLL TODAY, AND IN NO TIME,
YOUR DOG WILL BE THE NEXT CLINT
EASTWOOF.
558
00:59:05,278 --> 00:59:10,917
EASTWOOF.
>> AT ENTER STAGE WOOF, ACTING
SCHOOL FOR DOGS.
559
00:59:23,029 --> 00:59:42,415
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
**
**
560
00:59:42,415 --> 00:59:56,463
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
561
00:59:56,463 --> 01:00:12,312
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
562
01:00:12,312 --> 01:00:28,595
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
563
01:00:28,595 --> 01:00:44,377
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
564
01:00:44,377 --> 01:01:03,563
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
565
01:01:03,563 --> 01:01:20,313
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
566
01:01:20,313 --> 01:01:36,563
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
567
01:01:36,563 --> 01:01:54,414
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
**
**
568
01:01:54,414 --> 01:02:05,625
**
**
**
569
01:02:05,625 --> 01:02:22,208
**
**
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
570
01:02:28,982 --> 01:02:35,855
>>> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TALKED
ME INTO COMING INTO NAIL SALON.
>> MEN GET THEIR NAILS DONE ALL
571
01:02:35,855 --> 01:02:40,293
THE TIME.
>> I'M NOT LIKE OTHER MEN, NINA.
>> WE'RE READY FOR YOU TWO.
572
01:02:40,293 --> 01:02:45,932
I LOVE WHEN WE GET COUPLES IN
HERE.
SCREW THOSE GENDER ROLES.
573
01:02:45,932 --> 01:02:51,104
WHAT COLOR ARE WE GOING TO PAINT
YOU?
>> SOMETHING NEUTRAL LIKE TAN OR
574
01:02:51,104 --> 01:02:55,842
NUDE OR SOMETHING.
>> YOU PROMISED.
>> THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW,
575
01:02:55,842 --> 01:03:06,219
NINA BECAUSE AS OF YESTERDAY,
I'M THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORDER
HOLDER FOR THE WORLD'S LONGER
576
01:03:06,219 --> 01:03:10,557
FINGERNAILS.
>> YOU SAID YOU WOULD CUT THEM
AFTER YOU WON.
577
01:03:10,557 --> 01:03:16,396
>> I CAN'T CUT THEM AFTER ONE
DAY OF BEING FAMOUS!
>> I'M TIRED OF LIVING LIKE
578
01:03:16,396 --> 01:03:20,066
THIS.
IT'S EMBARRASSING!
>> YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE
579
01:03:20,066 --> 01:03:27,607
EMBARRASSING IF I SHOWED UP TO
THE GALA WITH SHORT NAILS.
>> SO THE WATER IS GETTING
580
01:03:27,607 --> 01:03:31,945
COLD --
>> THAT WOULD BE LIKE IF THE
WORLD'S TALLEST MAN SHOWED UP
581
01:03:31,945 --> 01:03:38,218
AND THEY CUT OFF HIS LEGS.
>> HAVE WE LANDED ON A COLOR?
>> I DON'T WANT COLOR.
582
01:03:38,218 --> 01:03:46,259
I WANT RIDGY, CRAFT, AND YELLOW.
GOD, NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME.
>> WHAT ABOUT ME, GREGG?
583
01:03:46,259 --> 01:03:52,565
WHERE IS MY CERTIFICATE?
I DESERVE THE GUINNESS WORLD
RECORD FOR WIPING YOUR BUTT FOR
584
01:03:52,565 --> 01:03:55,802
12 YEARS!
>> YOU ACT LIKE I'VE NEVER TRIED
TO WIPE MYSELF.
585
01:03:55,802 --> 01:04:00,507
I DID ONCE AND ALMOST DIED.
>> YOU PROMISED ME!
YOU PROMISED ME YOU WERE GOING
586
01:04:00,507 --> 01:04:06,179
TO CUT YOUR NAILS, LEARN WONDER
WALL ON THE GUITAR, AND DO HAND
STUFF TO ME FOR THE FIRST TIME.
587
01:04:06,179 --> 01:04:11,051
>> I NEVER SAID THAT.
>> YES, YOU DID.
I HAVE IT ON VOICE MAIL.
588
01:04:11,051 --> 01:04:16,890
>> AS SOON AS I GET THIS WORLD
RECORD, I'M GONNA CUT THESE
NAILS, LEARN WONDER WALL ON
589
01:04:16,890 --> 01:04:20,393
GUITAR, AND DO HAND STUFF TO
YOU.
NOW WHAT TIME ARE YOU GETTING
590
01:04:20,393 --> 01:04:25,699
HOME?
I NEED YOU TO WIPE ME.
>> WHO AM I WITHOUT MY NAILS,
591
01:04:25,699 --> 01:04:29,736
NINA?
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER COMED TO
THIS NAIL SALON.
592
01:04:29,736 --> 01:04:33,440
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER MOVED TO
SEATTLE, AND I I SHOULD NEVER
MARRIED YOU.
593
01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:41,214
>> WELL, IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL,
I'M TAKING MY RING BACK.
>> GO ON, TAKE IT!
594
01:04:41,214 --> 01:04:48,555
GO, TAKE IT THEN!
GO!
KEEP GOING, GO, GO ON NOW, TAKE
595
01:04:48,555 --> 01:04:53,460
IT.
I'M OUT OF HERE, BOO.
>> GREGG!
596
01:04:53,460 --> 01:05:06,039
GREGG!
>> SO THERE IS A CANCELLATION
FEE.
597
01:05:06,039 --> 01:05:10,210
>> I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.
>> SAY IT.
OUT LOUD.
598
01:05:10,210 --> 01:05:15,048
SAY IT.
>> THAT GUY FROM THE GUINNESS
BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS WITH THE
599
01:05:15,048 --> 01:05:18,918
WORLD'S LONGEST FINGERNAILS.
>> ARE YOU AFRAID, OR ARE YOU
NOT?
600
01:05:18,918 --> 01:05:24,591
OH, NO, YOU CRACKED MY
FINGERNAIL!
NOW THESE LOOK GROSS!
601
01:05:24,591 --> 01:05:28,895
>> I CAN'T BELIEVE HE LEFT FOR
REAL.
>> OH, DON'T WORRY, MAMA.
602
01:05:28,895 --> 01:05:33,933
I SEE THIS ALL THE TIME.
MEN JUST NEED AN IDENTITY.
IF IT'S MEANT TO BE, HE'LL COME
603
01:05:33,933 --> 01:05:40,440
BACK.
>> I'M BACK.
AND I CUT MY NAILS.
604
01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:47,647
AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
HAND STUFF.
>> YOU WIPE YOUR BUTT!
605
01:05:47,647 --> 01:05:50,517
HAND STUFF.
>> YOU WIPE YOUR BUTT!
>> SCREW THOSE GENDER ROLES!
606
01:06:11,738 --> 01:06:15,942
THAT WAS AN AMAZING SHOW.
I WANT TO THANK THIS AMAZING
CAST.
607
01:06:15,942 --> 01:06:21,915
THEY ARE THE BEST PEOPLE.
THIS FOR SURE HAS BEEN THE BEST
WEEK OF MY LIFE.
608
01:06:21,915 --> 01:06:26,286
THANK YOU, KAROL G!
>> THANK YOU.
>> LORNE, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
609
01:06:26,286 --> 01:06:31,124
PLEASE BRING ME BACK.
I LOVE YOU TOO.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING TONIGHT!
610
01:06:31,124 --> 01:06:35,528
I LOVE YOU TOO.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING TONIGHT!
>> THANK YOU!
61686
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