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1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
KatmovieHD.Eu
2
00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:32,942
Come disco.
3
00:02:33,118 --> 00:02:35,347
No, no, no.
I no disco, I make the fish.
4
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,180
Danny, come on, go disco.
5
00:02:37,355 --> 00:02:40,517
Oh, okay. Disco!
6
00:02:40,992 --> 00:02:44,154
Danny, that looks good. You're gonna
be a hit at your bar mitzvah.
7
00:02:45,530 --> 00:02:49,295
So okay, Mr. Big Penachim,
I no see you disco.
8
00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:51,297
No, no, no. I making dagim.
I no disco.
9
00:02:51,469 --> 00:02:54,437
A real man, he can disco
and cooking dagim.
10
00:02:54,606 --> 00:02:55,697
So let's go.
11
00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:01,943
Go, go.
12
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,276
I get the hummus for you.
13
00:03:06,550 --> 00:03:07,846
And for you.
14
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,651
Little for me, eh!
15
00:03:18,694 --> 00:03:19,717
No.
16
00:03:22,832 --> 00:03:23,991
No.
17
00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:26,030
Kapara, what is going on!
18
00:03:26,202 --> 00:03:28,499
Just some bullshit-uchen.
19
00:03:29,538 --> 00:03:30,561
Let's go!
20
00:03:30,740 --> 00:03:34,675
Hey, I'm on vacation here.
Can't you see this!
21
00:03:34,844 --> 00:03:38,745
You promised me time off.
Get someone else to do it.
22
00:03:42,584 --> 00:03:45,211
Are they gonna hurt him!
23
00:03:45,387 --> 00:03:47,513
No one can hurt the Zohan.
24
00:03:49,858 --> 00:03:54,191
- Bye, Zohan.
- Take care, man.
25
00:04:13,247 --> 00:04:15,214
The terrorist known as Phantom...
26
00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:18,508
...was spotted yesterday at a
Hacky Sack tournament in Beirut.
27
00:04:24,423 --> 00:04:27,619
He may be have been trying to
bait us by surfacing briefly.
28
00:04:27,793 --> 00:04:31,193
We believe he's being kept in a safe
house on the Lebanon border.
29
00:04:31,362 --> 00:04:32,692
How is we lose Phantom!
30
00:04:32,864 --> 00:04:35,263
Didn't I capture Phantom
three months ago!
31
00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:37,457
What, you didn't hear
about the trade!
32
00:04:37,635 --> 00:04:38,760
What trade!
33
00:04:41,606 --> 00:04:43,539
Zohan, we gave back the Phantom.
34
00:04:43,707 --> 00:04:46,106
No!
35
00:04:46,276 --> 00:04:48,641
What do you mean,
we give back the Phantom!
36
00:04:48,812 --> 00:04:50,244
Zohan, relax.
37
00:04:50,414 --> 00:04:53,644
It was a good trade.
We got back Etan and David.
38
00:04:53,817 --> 00:04:56,580
That's all we got
for a veteran terrorist!
39
00:04:56,753 --> 00:04:59,277
Come on, we got hosed here.
40
00:04:59,456 --> 00:05:01,582
They threw in a spy
to be named later.
41
00:05:01,758 --> 00:05:03,884
Come on, Zohan,
you have to like that deal.
42
00:05:04,061 --> 00:05:05,823
Maybe they're talking about Ze'ev.
43
00:05:05,995 --> 00:05:08,428
Ze'ev.
Come on, he's not even a good spy.
44
00:05:08,597 --> 00:05:11,724
He got caught, for God's sake.
He's a stupid.
45
00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:16,098
Our plan is to enter the building from
the front with a team of eight men...
46
00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:18,967
...with an additional 12 men
at perimeter positions.
47
00:05:19,141 --> 00:05:22,974
Unfortunately, there is a high
probability of collateral damage...
48
00:05:23,145 --> 00:05:26,739
...including property and loss of life,
on both sides.
49
00:05:26,915 --> 00:05:28,472
Okay, here we go.
50
00:05:28,650 --> 00:05:29,843
Excuse me!
51
00:05:30,018 --> 00:05:33,316
Come on, is it not safer
to send one man into building...
52
00:05:33,488 --> 00:05:35,751
...with minimal coverage
to take out the target...
53
00:05:35,924 --> 00:05:38,118
...instead of blowing up
half the neighborhood!
54
00:05:38,293 --> 00:05:39,657
Well, who would do that!
55
00:05:39,828 --> 00:05:41,192
Oh, "who would do that!"
56
00:05:41,363 --> 00:05:43,660
You know you were
going to ask the Zohan.
57
00:05:43,832 --> 00:05:45,025
Zohan, why you say this!
58
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,362
I just laid out an entire plan
which didn't rely on you.
59
00:05:48,535 --> 00:05:50,695
Come on, Yaron,
you're setting me up.
60
00:05:50,871 --> 00:05:54,636
All this talk of civilian casualties,
then of course I end up doing it.
61
00:05:54,808 --> 00:05:57,935
- But I'm not even asking you to do it.
- All right, I'll do it.
62
00:05:58,112 --> 00:06:01,877
Give me Avi and Koby as watch,
I'll get it done without the mess.
63
00:06:02,049 --> 00:06:04,676
Well, thank you. You didn't have to.
64
00:06:04,852 --> 00:06:07,217
Oh, I didn't have to, bullschlassah.
65
00:06:08,055 --> 00:06:09,544
Have some Fizzy Bubblech.
66
00:06:10,590 --> 00:06:13,990
"Kiwi watermelon"! Yeah, is good.
67
00:06:56,767 --> 00:06:59,394
"Avalon."
68
00:07:18,154 --> 00:07:19,950
Chunky cuts.
69
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,449
Zohan, what are you doing!
The girls are here.
70
00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:25,456
I know, I was watching television.
71
00:07:25,628 --> 00:07:28,425
Well, if you want to have fun with us,
we're right next door.
72
00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:31,293
- Good with the sticky, you should do it.
- No, no, no.
73
00:07:31,468 --> 00:07:34,300
I am going to dinner with my parents.
Just leave me alone.
74
00:07:34,471 --> 00:07:37,769
- All right, all right.
- It is all right!
75
00:07:39,074 --> 00:07:40,768
You don't giggle at the Zohan.
76
00:07:40,943 --> 00:07:43,706
You hear me!
No giggling at the Zohan.
77
00:07:43,879 --> 00:07:46,278
You never giggle at the Zohan.
78
00:07:51,153 --> 00:07:52,449
What's the matter, tatele?
79
00:07:52,621 --> 00:07:55,453
You haven't touched
your baba ganoush.
80
00:07:57,892 --> 00:08:00,655
What would you think if I tell you...
81
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:03,125
...I want to leaving the army,
start a new life!
82
00:08:03,598 --> 00:08:08,660
Why would you do that!
You are good at it. It's steady pay.
83
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,826
You can't leave,
you're one of their best.
84
00:08:11,005 --> 00:08:13,131
Besides, you are too old
to take a risk.
85
00:08:13,307 --> 00:08:16,742
Stay in the army, play it safe.
86
00:08:16,911 --> 00:08:19,606
There's other things I can do
besides war.
87
00:08:19,779 --> 00:08:21,245
You don't war.
88
00:08:21,414 --> 00:08:24,007
- I was in the real war.
- I know, I know the story.
89
00:08:24,184 --> 00:08:26,344
1967.
90
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:30,353
We were surrounded on all sides,
outnumbered.
91
00:08:30,524 --> 00:08:32,753
- And in six days, we...
- And in six days, we won.
92
00:08:32,926 --> 00:08:35,553
You won. I'm sorry,
I don't have a big, fancy war...
93
00:08:35,729 --> 00:08:37,320
...that lasted all of six days...
94
00:08:37,497 --> 00:08:42,627
Six days and five hours.
Your generation likes to forget that.
95
00:08:44,837 --> 00:08:48,397
Dad, I've done so much
for the country. When does it end!
96
00:08:48,574 --> 00:08:52,009
They've been fighting for 2000 years.
It can't be much longer.
97
00:08:53,345 --> 00:08:56,802
All of my friends served
the minimum three years.
98
00:08:56,982 --> 00:08:59,506
Why can't I move on!
Do something else.
99
00:08:59,685 --> 00:09:02,050
Something more creative.
100
00:09:02,221 --> 00:09:03,881
Creative, what!
101
00:09:04,055 --> 00:09:06,887
You've caught so many terrorists,
it's an art.
102
00:09:07,058 --> 00:09:09,491
You're like Rembrandt
with a grenade.
103
00:09:09,661 --> 00:09:10,718
What will you do!
104
00:09:12,463 --> 00:09:14,123
Maybe go to America.
105
00:09:14,299 --> 00:09:17,165
What, and haggle over
stereo equipment!
106
00:09:17,335 --> 00:09:19,131
Wait a minute, Ya'acov.
107
00:09:19,304 --> 00:09:21,965
Uncle Levi will set you up
at electronic store.
108
00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:25,666
You make money, sow your
creative oats, you come back.
109
00:09:25,842 --> 00:09:28,571
No, I don't want to do
electronics store.
110
00:09:29,212 --> 00:09:30,838
Then how will you make money!
111
00:09:32,449 --> 00:09:33,847
I don't want to say.
112
00:09:34,017 --> 00:09:38,180
Zohan, if you can't tell your parents,
who can you tell!
113
00:09:38,355 --> 00:09:40,652
Come, Zohanele.
114
00:09:44,194 --> 00:09:47,594
I want to cut...
115
00:09:47,763 --> 00:09:50,731
...and style hair.
116
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,239
You... You fagala?
117
00:10:00,409 --> 00:10:02,535
He's fag... Faga...
118
00:10:06,015 --> 00:10:09,142
I like hair. It's pleasant,
it's peaceful, no one gets hurt.
119
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:13,946
Well, you're only digging
that fagala hole deeper and deeper.
120
00:10:15,290 --> 00:10:19,521
Hello, down there!
Hello, in the fagala hole.
121
00:10:20,562 --> 00:10:22,222
Maybe he wants Vaseline.
122
00:10:24,065 --> 00:10:26,760
Yes, it's so funny.
123
00:10:54,827 --> 00:11:01,823
I just want to make people
silky smooth.
124
00:11:11,344 --> 00:11:14,574
You know the Phantom will try to run,
so be ready for this.
125
00:11:14,746 --> 00:11:16,406
- Zohan, now!
- So let's go.
126
00:11:34,565 --> 00:11:35,758
The Zohan.
127
00:11:45,543 --> 00:11:47,009
Freeze!
128
00:11:58,822 --> 00:12:04,157
I get it, I get it,
you guys don't like our country.
129
00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:12,628
So we are the bad ones.
130
00:12:12,802 --> 00:12:15,964
I'd love to sit and discuss this
with you, but I'm short on time.
131
00:12:16,139 --> 00:12:18,231
I'm just saying.
It's not so cut-and-dry.
132
00:12:20,642 --> 00:12:22,836
We settled here
for hundreds of years!
133
00:12:23,011 --> 00:12:24,170
Good point.
134
00:12:24,346 --> 00:12:27,803
None of my ancestors ever stepped
foot in this land. No, you're right.
135
00:12:27,983 --> 00:12:29,916
Hey, don't walk away!
136
00:12:31,019 --> 00:12:33,486
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
137
00:12:33,655 --> 00:12:35,588
Hello, jackass.
138
00:12:38,593 --> 00:12:42,528
You think you can oppress my people,
landgrabber!
139
00:12:43,097 --> 00:12:46,327
But I will never disappear.
140
00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:49,560
No one can catch Phantom!
141
00:12:57,378 --> 00:12:58,776
So let's go.
142
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,459
Very good.
143
00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:49,157
Sorry. It's for the cause.
144
00:14:03,007 --> 00:14:04,906
Zohan.
145
00:14:08,612 --> 00:14:11,774
Zohan, bring it.
146
00:14:27,129 --> 00:14:28,925
Why you do this! I feel no pain.
147
00:14:29,098 --> 00:14:32,464
No, no, no. I feel no pain.
148
00:14:32,635 --> 00:14:36,092
- I feel no pain. This is too much...
- No, no, no. I feel no pain.
149
00:14:36,272 --> 00:14:37,829
I have told you in other fights.
150
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:40,497
No, no, no. I kill you right now.
151
00:14:45,848 --> 00:14:47,815
Look, look, look.
152
00:14:51,653 --> 00:14:55,088
The piranha,
it looks very painful for you.
153
00:14:55,257 --> 00:14:57,019
Is good, is good.
154
00:14:57,192 --> 00:14:59,284
Is very nice. Yes, yes.
155
00:14:59,461 --> 00:15:01,655
Fizzy Bubblech for me.
156
00:15:06,434 --> 00:15:07,798
You like what you see!
157
00:15:11,005 --> 00:15:12,130
Time to die.
158
00:15:12,306 --> 00:15:13,829
So let's go.
159
00:15:23,684 --> 00:15:26,208
Okay, game over.
160
00:15:45,638 --> 00:15:47,070
Yeah!
161
00:15:48,942 --> 00:15:50,431
I kill!
162
00:15:50,977 --> 00:15:53,911
I kill the Zohan!
163
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:55,737
Zohan is dead.
164
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,710
The Phantom!
165
00:16:33,517 --> 00:16:36,644
Cutting the hair,
this makes something beautiful.
166
00:16:36,820 --> 00:16:38,810
Instead of shooting it.
167
00:16:38,989 --> 00:16:41,081
That's why I had to fake to die.
168
00:16:41,257 --> 00:16:44,885
I could have captured Phantom again,
but for what! They trade him.
169
00:16:45,829 --> 00:16:49,127
I love my country,
but the fighting, it never ends.
170
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,567
It's like Mr. Scrappy, you bite Coco.
171
00:16:52,736 --> 00:16:54,134
Coco, you bite him back.
172
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:58,467
Soon you are both having worms,
eating your own poopech...
173
00:17:02,511 --> 00:17:03,704
I understand. The pills.
174
00:17:03,879 --> 00:17:06,438
Your parents think
they know what's best for you.
175
00:17:06,615 --> 00:17:08,275
Sleep.
176
00:17:15,557 --> 00:17:18,354
It's all about not getting recognized.
177
00:17:18,527 --> 00:17:20,460
I know how great I looked
in the beard...
178
00:17:20,628 --> 00:17:23,460
but I'll make this work for me,
you'll see.
179
00:17:37,879 --> 00:17:41,143
Rise and shine, guys.
Good morning.
180
00:17:41,782 --> 00:17:43,373
Is nice, huh!
181
00:17:43,550 --> 00:17:44,982
It's the Avalon.
182
00:17:45,152 --> 00:17:49,315
It says I care about the way I look,
but I'm still approachable.
183
00:17:51,058 --> 00:17:52,854
Oh, you like this!
184
00:17:53,026 --> 00:17:56,119
Who wants to go next, guys!
Who wants to look silky smooth!
185
00:17:56,296 --> 00:17:58,354
Yes. Yes.
186
00:18:02,668 --> 00:18:05,693
Oh, where are my two little babies!
Oh, come on.
187
00:18:05,871 --> 00:18:08,998
Come on out, Scrappy, come on out.
Come to Mama, Mr. Coco.
188
00:18:10,109 --> 00:18:13,703
Mr. Scrappy. Coco.
What happened!
189
00:18:13,879 --> 00:18:15,903
Who gave you permission
to do this, huh!
190
00:18:16,082 --> 00:18:17,673
Who did! Answer me.
191
00:18:17,850 --> 00:18:19,908
Scrappy, was it you!
It was you, wasn't it!
192
00:18:20,086 --> 00:18:21,814
You're always the instigator.
193
00:18:21,987 --> 00:18:26,855
Bad dog. You are a very bad dog.
Never again are you gonna travel.
194
00:18:33,731 --> 00:18:36,494
Take me to the Paul Mitchell
hair salon.
195
00:18:37,035 --> 00:18:39,434
- First time in New York!
- Yes, my friend.
196
00:18:39,838 --> 00:18:41,361
So, what brings you here!
197
00:18:41,539 --> 00:18:43,005
I have a dream.
198
00:18:43,675 --> 00:18:45,073
I had a dream too.
199
00:18:45,243 --> 00:18:46,573
What dream you have!
200
00:18:46,743 --> 00:18:48,573
My dream was to come to America...
201
00:18:48,745 --> 00:18:51,770
...and make enough money
to send for me brothers and sisters...
202
00:18:51,949 --> 00:18:54,212
...so that we all could enjoy
freedom together.
203
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,408
- This is good dream.
- Oh, yes, it is.
204
00:18:56,587 --> 00:18:58,781
- Is dream come true!
- No, man.
205
00:18:58,956 --> 00:19:01,389
Me brothers and sisters
were hacked to death.
206
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:05,118
But I love the Chinese food here.
It's incredible.
207
00:20:15,195 --> 00:20:18,755
- Hey, you forgot these.
- Those are for you, my friend.
208
00:20:27,774 --> 00:20:31,436
Good morning for you.
I am here to meet Mr. Paul Mitchell.
209
00:20:31,611 --> 00:20:32,702
And who are you!
210
00:20:34,179 --> 00:20:38,137
Scrappy Coco.
I am here to take a job from him.
211
00:20:38,317 --> 00:20:39,715
He isn't in right now.
212
00:20:39,885 --> 00:20:41,613
That's good. So I will wait, then.
213
00:20:45,157 --> 00:20:48,216
You know what! I'll take
one Fizzy Bubblech, a raspberry.
214
00:20:48,627 --> 00:20:51,595
You know,
he actually doesn't come in too often.
215
00:20:51,763 --> 00:20:54,458
Yes, just tell him I am perfect for this,
so let's go.
216
00:20:54,633 --> 00:20:56,759
- I am the best.
- The best at what!
217
00:20:56,934 --> 00:21:00,835
All of this. The cutting, the styling,
the making it silky smooth.
218
00:21:01,005 --> 00:21:02,665
I wanna know who cuts your hair.
219
00:21:03,207 --> 00:21:04,537
Oh, you like this, eh!
220
00:21:04,709 --> 00:21:07,643
This is the Avalon,
straight from the Paul Mitchell book.
221
00:21:07,812 --> 00:21:11,907
I haven't seen that style
since Luke married Laura.
222
00:21:12,717 --> 00:21:14,843
Sister, are you this Laura!
223
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:22,155
You tell Paul Mitchell,
Scrappy Coco was here to see him.
224
00:21:23,260 --> 00:21:26,353
If I find out he was here...
225
00:21:26,529 --> 00:21:29,361
...or you are keeping him
hidden from me...
226
00:21:29,532 --> 00:21:31,362
...I will destroy you.
227
00:21:31,534 --> 00:21:33,763
Believe me this.
228
00:22:29,287 --> 00:22:31,948
What the hell was this, champ!
I'm not paying for that!
229
00:22:32,123 --> 00:22:34,420
This asshole cut me off,
made me swerve into you!
230
00:22:34,592 --> 00:22:37,424
With all due respect,
I was in the bicycle lane.
231
00:22:37,595 --> 00:22:39,994
You came like a madman.
Be glad nobody was hurt.
232
00:22:40,165 --> 00:22:43,463
I mean, somebody could've died.
I mean, you came...
233
00:22:44,735 --> 00:22:47,225
Okay, real mature, sir. Real mature.
234
00:22:47,404 --> 00:22:50,065
You do not want to be
throwing bicycles.
235
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,571
Look, stay out of my business,
Mustafa.
236
00:22:52,743 --> 00:22:55,905
"Mustafa"! This is not my name.
Who tells you this is my name!
237
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,206
Whatever.
Salami, bologna, apple sauce.
238
00:22:58,382 --> 00:22:59,405
Apple who!
239
00:22:59,583 --> 00:23:02,016
My friend, if I were you,
I would change the tone.
240
00:23:02,186 --> 00:23:03,311
Avoid the pain.
241
00:23:03,487 --> 00:23:06,819
Listen, go back to your goddamned
pretzel stand. We got it...
242
00:23:08,191 --> 00:23:10,454
- Look what I've got. It's right here.
- Please!
243
00:23:10,626 --> 00:23:12,092
- I've got it.
- Please, let me go.
244
00:23:12,261 --> 00:23:16,026
I never work at pretzel stand.
You like to insult people!
245
00:23:17,533 --> 00:23:19,830
Was that your feet!
246
00:23:20,002 --> 00:23:21,764
Yes, it's the feet. The feet uppercut.
247
00:23:23,206 --> 00:23:24,467
Here comes the double foot.
248
00:23:25,341 --> 00:23:26,807
This is good.
249
00:23:26,975 --> 00:23:29,943
Smell it, smell it, smell it.
Now take it.
250
00:23:30,112 --> 00:23:32,170
- That's for you.
- All right, let me go!
251
00:23:32,347 --> 00:23:34,371
You said you wanted pretzel!
252
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:38,608
Okay, I'm good.
253
00:23:38,787 --> 00:23:40,219
Beautiful.
254
00:23:40,389 --> 00:23:41,855
You want some chickens!
255
00:23:42,023 --> 00:23:43,956
No, no, no. I fix for you.
256
00:23:50,264 --> 00:23:51,560
It's all b'seder.
257
00:23:51,732 --> 00:23:53,824
What are you, bionic!
258
00:23:54,001 --> 00:23:56,833
No, no, no. I only like the girls.
259
00:23:58,005 --> 00:24:00,063
Thanks, anyways.
260
00:24:04,545 --> 00:24:07,138
This is ridiculous traffic.
261
00:24:07,314 --> 00:24:10,680
Anyway, George insisted
we have the party.
262
00:24:10,850 --> 00:24:13,818
- I always get midnight shift.
- Could you keep it down, please!
263
00:24:13,987 --> 00:24:16,318
I no sleep,
I no see World Series Poker.
264
00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:18,649
Are you even watching the road!
265
00:24:18,825 --> 00:24:22,726
Be nice. He could be a terrorist.
266
00:24:22,896 --> 00:24:27,389
- Why Hamdi no get no midnight!
- Could you at least change the station!
267
00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:34,999
- Hey, that was amazing.
- Oh, yes.
268
00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:36,765
Where are you from, anyway!
269
00:24:36,942 --> 00:24:39,102
Where am I from!
270
00:24:39,278 --> 00:24:40,437
Australia.
271
00:24:40,612 --> 00:24:42,670
Really!
Because you sound Middle Eastern.
272
00:24:42,848 --> 00:24:44,644
No, no, no. Similar accents.
273
00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:47,546
- Kangaroo. You see!
- Sure.
274
00:24:49,621 --> 00:24:51,747
This is ridiculous. We're getting out.
275
00:24:51,924 --> 00:24:54,756
- Come on, dear.
- I've been working longer than Hamdi.
276
00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:58,992
- You want me to get you home!
- No, I'll grab a cab.
277
00:24:59,163 --> 00:25:01,096
You've done enough.
That was crazy.
278
00:25:01,265 --> 00:25:03,357
Whose lockzie do I have to schluck?
279
00:25:05,036 --> 00:25:07,333
Oh, you know you're boning me.
I don't know that.
280
00:25:09,807 --> 00:25:10,864
It's you.
281
00:25:12,910 --> 00:25:14,900
- What is happening!
- What's happening!
282
00:25:15,078 --> 00:25:16,408
It's bullshaklaga.
283
00:25:16,580 --> 00:25:17,876
- We have to go.
- Go where!
284
00:25:18,048 --> 00:25:19,810
- I'll run you.
- What are you doing!
285
00:25:19,983 --> 00:25:22,075
This is legal!
286
00:25:26,323 --> 00:25:29,758
Scrappy, have another kneidlach.
Come on.
287
00:25:29,926 --> 00:25:31,392
You're very nice, Mrs. Klayman.
288
00:25:31,561 --> 00:25:35,326
It reminds me of my mother's cooking
in Australia.
289
00:25:35,499 --> 00:25:38,990
Really!
It's funny, you don't sound Australian.
290
00:25:39,168 --> 00:25:42,330
Yes, no, no, no.
This is because I am half Australian...
291
00:25:42,505 --> 00:25:44,995
...half Mount Everest.
292
00:25:45,174 --> 00:25:47,471
So this is what you're hearing.
293
00:25:48,577 --> 00:25:51,704
Well, Australia,
it must be really nice there...
294
00:25:51,881 --> 00:25:53,939
...since they got rid of the apartheid.
295
00:25:54,116 --> 00:25:56,140
Oh, yes, the weather is much cooler.
296
00:25:57,785 --> 00:26:01,015
So, Scrappy,
I understand you cut hair.
297
00:26:01,789 --> 00:26:04,018
I will be working
with Mr. Paul Mitchell...
298
00:26:04,192 --> 00:26:06,659
...as soon as I find out
where they are hiding him.
299
00:26:06,828 --> 00:26:09,660
Oh, Mom, Scrappy
doesn't have a place to stay yet.
300
00:26:09,831 --> 00:26:10,888
- Really!
- Not yet.
301
00:26:11,065 --> 00:26:13,430
Well, actually,
there's a nice one-bedroom...
302
00:26:13,601 --> 00:26:16,000
...that just opened up upstairs.
303
00:26:16,170 --> 00:26:18,763
Nice light, not huge.
304
00:26:18,940 --> 00:26:20,998
And they redid the kitchen very well.
305
00:26:21,842 --> 00:26:24,207
- This could be good.
- Could be good.
306
00:26:25,679 --> 00:26:27,509
Could be good.
307
00:26:37,124 --> 00:26:39,591
Hey, Mom,
do you know where the detergent is!
308
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,920
- That's very good.
- Oh, my God!
309
00:26:42,094 --> 00:26:43,355
What! What's the matter!
310
00:26:43,563 --> 00:26:45,757
What's the matter! That's my mom.
311
00:26:45,932 --> 00:26:48,024
- It's okay, Michael.
- I know it's your mother.
312
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:49,188
She's very beautiful.
313
00:26:49,368 --> 00:26:51,335
Michael, I haven't made sticky
in two days.
314
00:26:51,504 --> 00:26:54,495
- What do you want from me!
- Couldn't you wait till I was asleep!
315
00:26:54,674 --> 00:26:56,436
- Or dead!
- No, Michael.
316
00:26:56,609 --> 00:26:58,303
You do... What's he doing now!
317
00:26:58,477 --> 00:27:00,944
Why'd that happen!
Why'd that happen!
318
00:27:01,113 --> 00:27:02,602
It's okay. Let me talk to him.
319
00:27:02,781 --> 00:27:04,441
Oh, I can't get up.
320
00:27:04,616 --> 00:27:07,311
No, no. You'll feel your legs again
in two hours.
321
00:27:08,987 --> 00:27:10,283
Michael.
322
00:27:10,455 --> 00:27:13,287
Come on, this is nothing
to feel bad about.
323
00:27:13,458 --> 00:27:15,550
Me sexing your mother.
324
00:27:15,727 --> 00:27:18,695
It's beautiful. It's natural.
325
00:27:18,863 --> 00:27:21,797
No, I didn't bring you home
to do it with my mother.
326
00:27:21,967 --> 00:27:24,696
Why not, huh!
You don't want her to be happy!
327
00:27:24,868 --> 00:27:27,267
Did you see her! Did you look at her!
328
00:27:27,438 --> 00:27:29,769
I don't think
I can ever look at her again.
329
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:33,602
Michael, her face
during the big bang-boom!
330
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:34,936
You did not see!
331
00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:36,738
She was glowing.
332
00:27:36,914 --> 00:27:38,972
Patches. What are you...!
333
00:27:39,149 --> 00:27:40,581
Michael, come on.
334
00:27:40,751 --> 00:27:42,741
They'll be plenty of time
for you and me.
335
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,251
Tonight, I take you to disco, huh!
How's this!
336
00:27:45,422 --> 00:27:47,412
No, why would I wanna go
to a disco tonight!
337
00:27:48,491 --> 00:27:50,651
Michael, you should go. It'd be fun!
338
00:27:50,827 --> 00:27:52,657
You could use a little stank.
339
00:27:52,829 --> 00:27:55,888
Yes, you need your penachim
to take a swim.
340
00:27:56,065 --> 00:27:58,760
Yeah, a little chicken of the sea.
It wouldn't hurt.
341
00:27:58,935 --> 00:28:02,199
Disco, disco.
Let's do this, Michael. Yes or no!
342
00:28:02,372 --> 00:28:03,668
Come on, you get to disco.
343
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,171
- All right, fine, I'll go to the disco.
- Okay.
344
00:28:06,342 --> 00:28:09,037
I do your mother one more time,
and then we go.
345
00:28:09,211 --> 00:28:11,144
- Wha...!
- Seconds already!
346
00:28:11,313 --> 00:28:13,007
Oh, yes.
347
00:28:18,453 --> 00:28:21,148
Hey. Look at this.
348
00:28:21,323 --> 00:28:24,519
This is what you need, man,
to let off a little steam, huh!
349
00:28:24,693 --> 00:28:28,389
How many times a day do you
make sticky! Two! Five! Twelve!
350
00:28:28,563 --> 00:28:31,793
How many times a day!
I've had sex once in my life.
351
00:28:31,966 --> 00:28:34,661
It was at tennis camp.
It was awful.
352
00:28:34,835 --> 00:28:38,099
You're too picky, Michael.
Maybe that's the problem.
353
00:28:38,272 --> 00:28:41,399
Every weed in the desert
is still a flower.
354
00:28:41,909 --> 00:28:44,706
Look at this. This a big one, eh!
355
00:28:44,879 --> 00:28:49,281
But look at the tits.
These will bounce nice for you.
356
00:28:49,450 --> 00:28:52,885
Your mother, she has huge poopeh.
357
00:28:53,053 --> 00:28:55,612
I mean, very wide.
358
00:28:55,789 --> 00:29:01,351
But what I see are two big, strong legs
wrapped around my head, squeezing.
359
00:29:01,528 --> 00:29:03,222
So who wants to get some
poontachen?
360
00:29:05,165 --> 00:29:08,827
- I wanna get some poontachen?
- Well, let's get some. Yes.
361
00:29:13,405 --> 00:29:15,338
It's good for you. Nice spinning.
362
00:29:18,143 --> 00:29:20,906
This is what I'm talking about.
You play this.
363
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,070
- I ain't playing this corny shit.
- No, no.
364
00:29:23,248 --> 00:29:25,408
I need to set the
mood for my friend.
365
00:29:25,584 --> 00:29:27,676
Get out,
you Daisy Duke-wearing motherf...
366
00:29:38,229 --> 00:29:40,219
- Disco, disco.
- Good, good!
367
00:29:40,398 --> 00:29:42,092
- Disco, disco.
- Good, good!
368
00:29:55,612 --> 00:29:57,101
Yes, hello. Hello.
369
00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,180
Hey, Zohan.
370
00:30:00,350 --> 00:30:01,873
Who you looking for!
371
00:30:02,052 --> 00:30:04,849
It's okay, no one can hear me
in disco, Zohan.
372
00:30:05,021 --> 00:30:07,215
Can you believe the poontachat
in this place!
373
00:30:07,390 --> 00:30:10,950
I'm not Zohan.
My name is Scrappy Coco, my friend.
374
00:30:11,128 --> 00:30:14,096
What!
Of course you are Zohan Dvir.
375
00:30:14,264 --> 00:30:17,664
They all think you dead in Israel.
I'm not going to tell.
376
00:30:17,833 --> 00:30:20,528
Tell what!
I don't know what you're talking about.
377
00:30:20,703 --> 00:30:24,502
Zohan, it's okay.
Don't worry, I'm a huge fan.
378
00:30:24,673 --> 00:30:28,005
The way you took out
Abdullah Meda in '94.
379
00:30:28,177 --> 00:30:32,909
And when you made Melami Benazir
eat his own shit in '97.
380
00:30:33,082 --> 00:30:35,481
I can't believe I'm meeting you, man.
381
00:30:35,651 --> 00:30:37,675
So, what the fachma
are you doing here!
382
00:30:37,853 --> 00:30:39,251
Come with me.
383
00:30:40,288 --> 00:30:42,414
Look, I couldn't take
all the fighting anymore.
384
00:30:42,590 --> 00:30:44,989
- What's it all for!
- Are you crazy!
385
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,593
If I could blow a terrorist
inside out like you...
386
00:30:47,762 --> 00:30:49,956
...this is all I would do.
I'd never sleep.
387
00:30:50,131 --> 00:30:52,826
- This is exaggeration.
- No, it's not.
388
00:30:53,001 --> 00:30:57,266
You made Palami Habdallah's poodle
sit on a live grenade.
389
00:30:57,438 --> 00:31:00,668
- You gotta show me how you did that.
- I don't remember. I was young.
390
00:31:00,841 --> 00:31:03,502
So tell me the truth.
Why are you in America!
391
00:31:04,711 --> 00:31:05,734
I no want to tell you.
392
00:31:06,213 --> 00:31:08,077
What! What! Come on.
393
00:31:08,248 --> 00:31:13,014
You are the best, Zohan.
Whatever you say is good.
394
00:31:16,490 --> 00:31:19,356
I want to be hairdresser.
395
00:31:20,227 --> 00:31:21,955
You a fagala?
396
00:31:22,128 --> 00:31:23,617
I can't believe it.
397
00:31:23,796 --> 00:31:27,526
A great warrior, but also a fagala
with the penachim.
398
00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:30,668
No, no, no. I like hair.
399
00:31:30,837 --> 00:31:33,430
Come on, man, I get you real job.
400
00:31:33,606 --> 00:31:36,335
You come by my shop tomorrow.
401
00:31:36,509 --> 00:31:38,703
Israeli electronics. Are you crazy!
402
00:31:38,878 --> 00:31:42,608
- Everyone will recognize me.
- No, you don't look like same Zohan.
403
00:31:42,782 --> 00:31:44,078
You have silly haircut now.
404
00:31:44,249 --> 00:31:46,512
- I have what haircut!
- What!
405
00:31:46,685 --> 00:31:48,914
- You say I look silly!
- No, no. Who said this!
406
00:31:49,087 --> 00:31:51,247
- You said this.
- No, no. Nobody say nothing.
407
00:31:52,991 --> 00:31:54,014
I don't need your job.
408
00:31:54,192 --> 00:31:58,423
I get my own job on my own
at a big salon. You will see.
409
00:32:00,699 --> 00:32:02,632
You ever cut a sister's hair before!
410
00:32:02,801 --> 00:32:06,702
Yes. Sister, brother, grandma,
grandpa, the whole family.
411
00:32:06,871 --> 00:32:08,064
I'm good at this.
412
00:32:08,239 --> 00:32:10,297
Have you ever worked
with dreads before!
413
00:32:14,612 --> 00:32:15,669
This is what you do.
414
00:32:15,846 --> 00:32:18,109
No more. This creature slayed.
415
00:32:18,282 --> 00:32:22,240
It's not a problem. Okay, he's got me.
He's got me. He's got me. Okay.
416
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:25,444
Okay. So we blind him in the eyes.
We got you.
417
00:32:25,623 --> 00:32:27,647
And we finish him.
418
00:32:27,824 --> 00:32:31,759
You back away, I take hold of him.
Go! Go! Go out! Go now!
419
00:32:31,928 --> 00:32:33,485
Go!
420
00:32:35,498 --> 00:32:38,955
This is hair. This is hair.
421
00:32:39,135 --> 00:32:42,262
Oh, okay. The joke's on me, eh!
422
00:32:44,107 --> 00:32:47,667
A big part of our job here
is making this a fun experience.
423
00:32:47,844 --> 00:32:49,071
Of course, of course.
424
00:32:49,244 --> 00:32:52,974
For a lot of kids, this is their first cut,
and it can be very frightening.
425
00:32:53,148 --> 00:32:56,310
- I can imagine.
- I don't want a haircut.
426
00:32:56,485 --> 00:32:58,076
Get away from me.
427
00:32:58,253 --> 00:33:00,482
Let me go.
428
00:33:00,656 --> 00:33:04,022
Young man, look what I found here.
429
00:33:04,192 --> 00:33:06,284
A nice balloon.
430
00:33:06,461 --> 00:33:08,690
Do you want it! It's right here.
431
00:33:09,464 --> 00:33:11,055
You shouldn't jump around...
432
00:33:11,232 --> 00:33:13,927
...when this nice woman's
holding a sharp pair of scissors.
433
00:33:14,435 --> 00:33:18,495
If you move, she could slip and
slice your jugular vein on accident.
434
00:33:19,006 --> 00:33:21,269
There's no way to stitch the jugular.
435
00:33:21,442 --> 00:33:24,433
All of your blood will be on the floor
in four minutes.
436
00:33:24,879 --> 00:33:28,473
I've seen this. I've done this.
You don't want this.
437
00:33:39,526 --> 00:33:43,484
Well, then, at least it's a good time to
shave his neck. I would get him quick.
438
00:33:47,500 --> 00:33:50,263
When I was your age
I already killed seven men.
439
00:33:50,437 --> 00:33:52,904
Maybe you should grow up.
440
00:34:19,630 --> 00:34:22,393
I promise you you won't regret.
441
00:34:22,567 --> 00:34:24,796
And come back.
442
00:34:24,969 --> 00:34:28,028
"Fujigawa"! I don't know that brand.
It really isn't...
443
00:34:28,206 --> 00:34:30,833
It's not really Fujigawa.
It's Sony guts.
444
00:34:31,009 --> 00:34:34,944
- Wouldn't it be better with the Sony...
- Oh, no, no, no. This is what you want.
445
00:34:35,113 --> 00:34:38,206
- Four-hundred fifty.
- But the ad says "Sony," and "300."
446
00:34:38,382 --> 00:34:42,579
No, no, no. What you going to believe,
me or the ad! Four-fifty.
447
00:34:44,021 --> 00:34:46,921
Hello, Going Out of Business.
Can I help you!
448
00:34:47,090 --> 00:34:49,216
Sony, yes. Three hundred.
449
00:34:49,393 --> 00:34:51,360
Come in, yes. Very good, very good.
450
00:34:54,231 --> 00:34:56,664
Hi. I represent the new owner
of this building.
451
00:34:56,833 --> 00:34:59,426
Good for you. Want a birthday cake!
What do you want!
452
00:34:59,602 --> 00:35:00,761
Yamaha is very good.
453
00:35:00,936 --> 00:35:03,096
Did you receive our letter
regarding your rent!
454
00:35:03,272 --> 00:35:06,206
- This I don't know.
- It's being raised to 20,000 a month.
455
00:35:06,375 --> 00:35:07,705
No, no, no. This is too much.
456
00:35:07,877 --> 00:35:09,901
Eighty-five hundred
is all we'll give you.
457
00:35:10,079 --> 00:35:13,138
- This isn't negotiable. We can get...
- Ten thousand, that's all.
458
00:35:13,315 --> 00:35:14,474
We both go home happy.
459
00:35:14,650 --> 00:35:17,345
- I'm sorry. We can't settle for less.
- Okay, no deal.
460
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,316
You come back when you
want to deal.
461
00:35:19,487 --> 00:35:21,078
- Sir, you don't understand.
- Go.
462
00:35:21,256 --> 00:35:24,656
What you still here for! You like me!
I have girlfriend. Go.
463
00:35:24,826 --> 00:35:26,952
Thank you very much.
464
00:35:30,198 --> 00:35:33,655
Hey, look who's here.
465
00:35:33,835 --> 00:35:35,096
Come on, not so loud.
466
00:35:35,270 --> 00:35:38,796
Don't worry, Zohan.
I tell you, they don't recognize you.
467
00:35:38,973 --> 00:35:42,874
Yosi. This is good man.
This Chocolaté Coco.
468
00:35:43,043 --> 00:35:45,738
- Scrappy Coco.
- Scrappy Coco.
469
00:35:45,913 --> 00:35:47,004
Cooking Who-co!
470
00:35:47,881 --> 00:35:49,142
Yes, yes.
471
00:35:49,316 --> 00:35:50,839
So you're going out of business!
472
00:35:51,018 --> 00:35:54,180
No, no, no, no. Is just a sign.
Is good for business.
473
00:35:54,788 --> 00:35:58,917
Yeah, so you look me up, man.
That's cool.
474
00:35:59,093 --> 00:36:01,458
I come for job.
475
00:36:02,762 --> 00:36:06,026
Job. So you not big hairstyle!
476
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:13,128
It's not really happening for me
so far.
477
00:36:13,306 --> 00:36:16,138
So I am here. So let's go.
478
00:36:18,778 --> 00:36:21,041
No. No job.
479
00:36:21,214 --> 00:36:23,306
What do you mean!
You tell me to come here.
480
00:36:23,483 --> 00:36:26,815
I can no let you do this.
You want to be hair homo.
481
00:36:26,985 --> 00:36:29,714
No, so I do this for now.
It's all yofi tofi.
482
00:36:29,888 --> 00:36:31,878
Is no now.
483
00:36:32,491 --> 00:36:38,224
Once you start in electronics store,
you never get out.
484
00:36:39,865 --> 00:36:42,025
Look at Ephraim. You see!
485
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,463
I don't see nothing wrong with that.
It's perfect.
486
00:36:44,636 --> 00:36:46,796
Ephraim came to America...
487
00:36:47,338 --> 00:36:50,738
...to be racing car driver.
488
00:36:51,575 --> 00:36:53,474
But he let slip away.
489
00:36:53,644 --> 00:36:56,635
I can hear it. Look. Check your ear.
490
00:36:56,814 --> 00:37:01,978
Pinchas wanted to be
the next Bill Cosby.
491
00:37:02,153 --> 00:37:05,519
No. Is resistant, no proof.
You don't understand!
492
00:37:06,223 --> 00:37:10,158
But the store kept pulling him back.
493
00:37:10,326 --> 00:37:11,917
Maybe you swimming with the watch.
494
00:37:12,095 --> 00:37:13,652
- I'm not swimming...
- Is resistant.
495
00:37:15,231 --> 00:37:19,997
Yosi wanted to be a hand model.
496
00:37:20,170 --> 00:37:23,104
What, you don't like this! Look at this.
This is most beautiful.
497
00:37:23,273 --> 00:37:24,899
But he got too comfortable here.
498
00:37:25,074 --> 00:37:28,099
Press this button, it's free HBO.
499
00:37:28,645 --> 00:37:33,479
The electronics store
is a dream killer.
500
00:37:34,583 --> 00:37:39,246
And I won't let the Zohan
kill his dream.
501
00:37:41,690 --> 00:37:45,625
You are a real mensch, Oori.
502
00:37:45,794 --> 00:37:49,160
You the mensch.
503
00:37:49,331 --> 00:37:50,388
Come.
504
00:37:50,566 --> 00:37:51,623
What! What's this!
505
00:37:51,799 --> 00:37:55,564
You may not go for this,
but this place cross the street...
506
00:37:55,736 --> 00:37:57,760
- Yes!
- They maybe take you.
507
00:37:58,372 --> 00:38:01,772
- Is good place!
- No, is dump, but they take you.
508
00:38:01,943 --> 00:38:04,069
Is on Palestinian side of street.
509
00:38:04,245 --> 00:38:05,541
Palestinian!
510
00:38:05,713 --> 00:38:09,045
No, no, no.
Look, nobody kill you there.
511
00:38:09,217 --> 00:38:10,478
Here nobody care.
512
00:38:10,651 --> 00:38:12,709
First off, no one kill me anywhere.
513
00:38:13,420 --> 00:38:15,683
But Palestinian, no.
514
00:38:15,855 --> 00:38:17,947
I've done enough
to my parents already.
515
00:38:18,124 --> 00:38:20,421
I just want job for the Zohan.
516
00:38:20,594 --> 00:38:22,584
And it kills me
the way Phantom bastard...
517
00:38:22,762 --> 00:38:25,628
...getting his buttochim kissed
in Palestine now.
518
00:38:25,799 --> 00:38:28,130
Buttochim kissed! What's this!
519
00:38:28,568 --> 00:38:29,829
He have business.
520
00:38:30,003 --> 00:38:31,902
He buy wives.
521
00:38:33,206 --> 00:38:34,570
Him!
522
00:38:34,740 --> 00:38:38,175
They say his ugly face everywhere.
523
00:38:38,744 --> 00:38:41,803
Everyone is running
To Phantom's Chewy Muchentuchen
524
00:38:41,947 --> 00:38:45,347
For the food the heroes eat
525
00:38:45,718 --> 00:38:48,777
Kubeh, sambouesk,
Delicious muchentuchen
526
00:38:48,954 --> 00:38:51,046
You never know who you'll meet
527
00:38:51,223 --> 00:38:55,022
You are going to get spoiled.
528
00:39:01,132 --> 00:39:03,691
Phantom Muchentuchen!
529
00:39:03,868 --> 00:39:05,391
Oh, yeah!
530
00:39:05,570 --> 00:39:07,662
This month,
order Muchentuchen Happy Lunch...
531
00:39:07,839 --> 00:39:10,966
... and get action figures from
Phantom Presents: Death to Zohan.
532
00:39:14,612 --> 00:39:16,442
Unbelievable.
533
00:39:16,614 --> 00:39:21,641
This animal gets to live his dream.
But, me, l...
534
00:39:22,185 --> 00:39:26,348
I can no work Palestinian, no.
It's like... I can't do this.
535
00:39:26,523 --> 00:39:27,887
Yes, you can.
536
00:39:28,058 --> 00:39:31,993
Is your dream to cut hair.
You want fight, or you want hair!
537
00:39:32,162 --> 00:39:35,392
I want hair. But I'm scared.
538
00:39:35,565 --> 00:39:38,362
Is America.
You can do anything here.
539
00:39:38,535 --> 00:39:42,129
You never done something
people thought was impossible!
540
00:39:44,607 --> 00:39:47,541
So you don't want to talk, huh!
I'll make you talk.
541
00:40:07,329 --> 00:40:08,420
I can do this.
542
00:40:20,542 --> 00:40:22,031
Disco, disco, good, good.
543
00:40:22,209 --> 00:40:23,903
Disco, disco, good, good.
544
00:40:24,078 --> 00:40:25,806
Disco, disco, good, good.
545
00:40:25,979 --> 00:40:27,445
Disco, disco, good, good.
546
00:40:27,614 --> 00:40:29,376
Disco, disco, good, good.
547
00:40:31,251 --> 00:40:34,048
So you have never cut hair before.
548
00:40:34,221 --> 00:40:37,087
I have cut my own hair
and several dogs.
549
00:40:37,758 --> 00:40:41,853
I have the Paul Mitchell book,
I have the stamina, the desire...
550
00:40:42,029 --> 00:40:44,394
But you have no training
or experience.
551
00:40:44,564 --> 00:40:48,624
Would you hire someone
with experience in something else!
552
00:40:49,102 --> 00:40:50,125
In what!
553
00:40:50,503 --> 00:40:52,732
Can anyone here do this!
554
00:40:59,912 --> 00:41:03,074
Okay. I have never seen that.
555
00:41:03,249 --> 00:41:06,046
That is very nice,
but that is not going to help me.
556
00:41:06,218 --> 00:41:08,685
No hands.
557
00:41:08,854 --> 00:41:10,377
Besides, I have no openings.
558
00:41:10,555 --> 00:41:12,283
If anything, I need to scale back...
559
00:41:12,457 --> 00:41:14,947
...since they just raised my rent
through the roof.
560
00:41:15,127 --> 00:41:19,688
Out of nowhere, some guy with a tie
comes in and tells me I need to pay.
561
00:41:19,865 --> 00:41:21,058
Stop it!
562
00:41:22,467 --> 00:41:25,333
I only wish to learn.
563
00:41:25,504 --> 00:41:27,835
I will do whatever it takes.
564
00:41:30,674 --> 00:41:34,234
Fine. You can sweep up hair
a few shifts a week.
565
00:41:34,412 --> 00:41:36,402
- You won't be...
- No pay.
566
00:41:36,580 --> 00:41:39,742
No, no, no.
But then, I will become stylist, yes!
567
00:41:40,351 --> 00:41:41,544
That could be a while.
568
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:44,118
I will wait turn. You will see.
569
00:41:44,288 --> 00:41:47,518
I will get nighttime job for money.
570
00:41:47,691 --> 00:41:50,318
Soon the whole world
will be silky smooth.
571
00:42:00,637 --> 00:42:01,660
Zohan.
572
00:42:01,838 --> 00:42:04,431
- Carmen Electra has the best tits now.
- Oh, please.
573
00:42:04,607 --> 00:42:07,632
Oh, my God.
I wonder how much she paid for them.
574
00:42:08,945 --> 00:42:11,174
They're so perky.
575
00:42:11,346 --> 00:42:14,314
You know, leave it to her
to buy the best tits.
576
00:42:14,483 --> 00:42:16,916
It's always first class with that one.
577
00:42:17,085 --> 00:42:20,247
You know you don't have to catch
every piece of hair as it falls.
578
00:42:20,422 --> 00:42:24,790
Yes, I do. You deserve a perfect floor.
One single hair is unacceptable.
579
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:25,983
As you were.
580
00:42:39,774 --> 00:42:41,536
Yes. I got this.
581
00:42:42,910 --> 00:42:45,275
"Did you see
the new Kate Hudson movie!
582
00:42:45,446 --> 00:42:48,505
I think she is even more vivacious
than her mother."
583
00:42:48,683 --> 00:42:52,846
Scrappeleh, that's wonderful.
Now, let's practice on Michael.
584
00:42:53,020 --> 00:42:56,147
Michael!
Could you come in here, please!
585
00:42:56,923 --> 00:42:58,219
What! What is...!
586
00:42:58,391 --> 00:43:01,325
Oh, Scrappy needs to practice
small-talking.
587
00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:04,861
Can we do this another time! I have
a shot at keeping my food down.
588
00:43:05,031 --> 00:43:06,588
Michael, I want to practice now.
589
00:43:06,766 --> 00:43:09,700
I'm afraid I'm terrible at this.
Why won't you help me!
590
00:43:09,870 --> 00:43:14,863
Oh, honey.
You are good at everything you do.
591
00:43:39,264 --> 00:43:40,958
- Got it.
- Thanks.
592
00:43:41,132 --> 00:43:43,326
So you're making her silky smooth,
huh, Claude!
593
00:43:43,501 --> 00:43:46,731
- Framing her face!
- Yeah, Scrappy. I'm framing her face.
594
00:43:46,905 --> 00:43:48,064
This is smart.
595
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:51,833
A nice layered style
with the soft bangs...
596
00:43:52,010 --> 00:43:54,102
...is good for a bigger woman
like this.
597
00:43:54,279 --> 00:43:56,473
- Coco.
- Takes the eyes off the moon face...
598
00:43:56,648 --> 00:43:58,410
...and brings it toward the titzim.
599
00:43:58,582 --> 00:44:00,412
Coco.
600
00:44:00,584 --> 00:44:01,777
I need to speak to you.
601
00:44:03,287 --> 00:44:04,548
In private.
602
00:44:05,689 --> 00:44:08,213
Private. A secret!
603
00:44:08,392 --> 00:44:10,791
They will never get it out of me,
I promise you.
604
00:44:10,961 --> 00:44:14,157
Coco, Claude is trying to work.
605
00:44:14,331 --> 00:44:15,957
Yes. He's very good.
606
00:44:16,133 --> 00:44:18,999
So I am ready to cut hair today.
So let's go, let's get it on.
607
00:44:19,169 --> 00:44:21,068
No. Let's not go.
608
00:44:21,237 --> 00:44:22,260
But I am the best.
609
00:44:22,438 --> 00:44:24,405
Don't tell me you're the best.
610
00:44:24,574 --> 00:44:27,337
- I have the desire, the stamina.
- You've been here two days.
611
00:44:27,510 --> 00:44:29,238
I run this place for five years.
612
00:44:29,412 --> 00:44:32,175
I think I know when you are ready
to cut hair.
613
00:44:32,348 --> 00:44:35,009
Okay, Jeez! Get a room, you two.
614
00:44:35,184 --> 00:44:37,208
No, no, no.
615
00:44:37,386 --> 00:44:40,320
I do not touch this
with your penachim.
616
00:44:41,756 --> 00:44:43,450
Out of respect for the working.
617
00:44:43,792 --> 00:44:46,885
No, you don't eat where you shit.
618
00:44:47,062 --> 00:44:50,519
Or shit where you eat.
Whatever the...
619
00:44:50,699 --> 00:44:52,359
The smell is bad.
620
00:44:55,403 --> 00:44:56,664
This is called a comb.
621
00:44:58,673 --> 00:45:01,641
- With the fingers!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no.
622
00:45:03,177 --> 00:45:06,577
- Scrappy.
- I'm sorry. Here, I take your leg up.
623
00:45:06,747 --> 00:45:08,441
I'm sorry about this. I'm sorry.
624
00:45:08,616 --> 00:45:10,674
- Okay. All right.
- I apologize.
625
00:45:10,851 --> 00:45:13,284
- Take him where he wants to go.
- Thank you. Okay.
626
00:45:13,454 --> 00:45:14,977
- Good luck.
- It will be fine.
627
00:45:15,155 --> 00:45:18,681
- Your limousine has arrived, sir.
- You're observant, Tyler.
628
00:45:19,460 --> 00:45:21,256
Thank you, Big Mac.
629
00:45:21,428 --> 00:45:25,329
I am really late for a hotel opening
downtown. The Walbridge Hotel.
630
00:45:25,498 --> 00:45:28,660
I understand, sir. I know the
neighborhoods inside and backwards.
631
00:45:28,835 --> 00:45:31,166
- We will not let them stop us.
- What!
632
00:45:36,709 --> 00:45:38,073
I'm not in much of a hurry.
633
00:45:41,681 --> 00:45:43,807
Oh, no.
634
00:45:47,085 --> 00:45:48,574
You want some coffee back there!
635
00:45:48,754 --> 00:45:50,152
No!
636
00:45:50,656 --> 00:45:51,849
I will lose them.
637
00:45:53,258 --> 00:45:55,817
Nobody is following us.
638
00:46:01,566 --> 00:46:03,328
Oh, shit!
639
00:46:16,714 --> 00:46:18,578
Have a good time, sir.
640
00:46:22,620 --> 00:46:25,611
Debbie, you did a good job.
641
00:46:25,790 --> 00:46:29,156
You look very bangable,
Mrs. Rosen.
642
00:46:29,993 --> 00:46:32,426
Mrs. Paulson, I must tell you...
643
00:46:32,595 --> 00:46:36,621
...when you first came in,
you looked hideous.
644
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,130
There was nothing attractive.
645
00:46:38,301 --> 00:46:43,328
But now, I must say,
my schtitzel, it's about to burst.
646
00:46:43,506 --> 00:46:46,201
- It could break these any...
- What are you doing!
647
00:46:46,376 --> 00:46:49,139
We are talking shop.
648
00:46:49,312 --> 00:46:51,404
No. No.
649
00:46:52,147 --> 00:46:53,909
- Look, Coco...
- What!
650
00:46:54,083 --> 00:46:55,982
You need to calm down now, okay!
651
00:46:56,151 --> 00:46:58,948
I don't think these customers
like the way you talk shop.
652
00:46:59,121 --> 00:47:00,246
Nobody say this.
653
00:47:00,422 --> 00:47:05,723
Coco, remember,
respect for the workplace.
654
00:47:07,529 --> 00:47:09,462
I have betrayed my salon.
655
00:47:13,768 --> 00:47:15,064
He's trying to kill himself.
656
00:47:15,236 --> 00:47:16,566
- Scrappy.
- I deserve this.
657
00:47:16,738 --> 00:47:19,934
No, no. Just... Just...
658
00:47:20,508 --> 00:47:22,839
Easy on the ladies.
659
00:47:23,444 --> 00:47:25,604
I didn't mind.
660
00:47:30,752 --> 00:47:32,616
Take care, Mrs. Paulson.
661
00:47:33,588 --> 00:47:35,612
She did not mind.
662
00:47:38,525 --> 00:47:41,652
Let me disinfect the scissors...
663
00:47:42,395 --> 00:47:47,093
...so someone else
can make someone else silky smooth.
664
00:47:48,135 --> 00:47:49,965
I'll just clean up.
665
00:47:55,041 --> 00:47:57,099
Rafaela's Salon.
666
00:47:57,276 --> 00:47:59,209
What! No.
667
00:48:02,281 --> 00:48:03,508
Debbie, she quit.
668
00:48:04,283 --> 00:48:06,045
- What!
- Sorry.
669
00:48:06,519 --> 00:48:08,679
Claude, did you know about this!
670
00:48:08,854 --> 00:48:10,115
I should have told you.
671
00:48:10,289 --> 00:48:13,655
She's been looking for a new job
since those rent guys came around.
672
00:48:13,826 --> 00:48:16,191
Then why you no say nothing,
little bitch!
673
00:48:18,096 --> 00:48:21,531
Don't worry,
I'm not giving up on this place.
674
00:48:21,699 --> 00:48:24,963
You're a good guy, habibi.
I just... I don't know what to do.
675
00:48:30,108 --> 00:48:31,631
So let's go.
676
00:48:31,810 --> 00:48:34,835
Scrappy, I have enough problems
right now.
677
00:48:38,049 --> 00:48:40,414
I not the problem. I the solution. I fix.
678
00:48:40,584 --> 00:48:42,744
But if you screw up...
679
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,319
I can't afford a screwup right now.
680
00:48:45,489 --> 00:48:48,616
No, no, no. I no screw up.
I am the best for the job.
681
00:48:48,792 --> 00:48:51,555
Yeah, but you push and push.
"When is my turn"!
682
00:48:51,728 --> 00:48:53,319
I have to care about salon.
683
00:48:53,497 --> 00:48:54,827
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no.
684
00:48:54,998 --> 00:48:59,593
You care about you. And don't fight
in front of the customer.
685
00:49:02,338 --> 00:49:06,967
Mrs. Skitzer,
I am afraid our stylist is out today.
686
00:49:07,143 --> 00:49:10,270
Would you care to wait for Claude!
687
00:49:11,681 --> 00:49:12,738
Does he do hair!
688
00:49:15,585 --> 00:49:18,883
He's not a regular.
689
00:49:19,055 --> 00:49:20,351
Well, that's fine.
690
00:49:22,724 --> 00:49:28,025
She say...
I mean, only if it's okay with Dalia.
691
00:49:30,365 --> 00:49:31,626
Okay.
692
00:49:32,467 --> 00:49:37,597
You will not regret this decision.
693
00:49:41,109 --> 00:49:43,804
Mrs. Skitzer, let's cut your hair.
694
00:49:44,378 --> 00:49:47,972
Just lay back, Mrs. Skitzer.
I'll take care of everything.
695
00:49:48,449 --> 00:49:50,814
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
696
00:49:50,985 --> 00:49:53,782
Sexy woman like you
deserves to be pampered.
697
00:49:53,954 --> 00:49:55,978
Me, sexy! Sure.
698
00:49:56,156 --> 00:49:57,179
Don't be humble.
699
00:49:57,358 --> 00:50:02,317
You've got the ass and tits
of a schoolgirl and you know it.
700
00:50:02,496 --> 00:50:05,692
And everyone else knows this too,
believe me.
701
00:50:05,865 --> 00:50:07,422
Yes.
702
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,499
Let me get your earring off.
703
00:51:58,940 --> 00:52:00,201
I love it.
704
00:52:00,375 --> 00:52:04,242
Of course you do.
I make you silky smooth. I tell you this.
705
00:52:04,812 --> 00:52:08,679
All right, Scrappy.
You can cut Debbie's clients today.
706
00:52:08,850 --> 00:52:11,443
If they want you.
707
00:52:16,123 --> 00:52:17,146
Thank you.
708
00:52:17,324 --> 00:52:20,884
I'll get to you all soon as I'm
all the way done with Mrs. Skitzer.
709
00:52:22,195 --> 00:52:23,684
That all you got, Mrs. Skitzer!
710
00:52:23,864 --> 00:52:28,027
Come on, baby. Go, baby. Yes. Yes.
711
00:52:47,420 --> 00:52:48,613
So who's next!
712
00:53:23,654 --> 00:53:26,144
Come on, Scrappy!
713
00:53:27,925 --> 00:53:30,358
Thank you, dear.
714
00:53:30,861 --> 00:53:34,887
- It's a lot of speakers.
- Yes. Yes.
715
00:53:38,569 --> 00:53:40,502
It's orgasmic.
716
00:53:40,671 --> 00:53:42,365
Oh, my God.
717
00:53:43,573 --> 00:53:45,540
Oh, yes!
718
00:53:59,989 --> 00:54:02,718
Grab it, Scrappy!
719
00:54:10,599 --> 00:54:13,192
For you. Yes.
720
00:54:18,406 --> 00:54:20,737
I give this to you.
721
00:54:28,582 --> 00:54:32,073
- No. I am sorry, Mr. Paul Mitchell.
- Hear me out, Scrappy, please.
722
00:54:32,253 --> 00:54:35,983
I'll give you stock options.
I'll name a shampoo after you.
723
00:54:36,157 --> 00:54:40,650
No, my loyalty is to here.
I will destroy you.
724
00:54:43,931 --> 00:54:47,195
I heard about this place
from Joanne.
725
00:54:47,367 --> 00:54:49,698
You have to ask for Scrappy.
726
00:54:49,869 --> 00:54:52,860
Yes, is the primary
cardholder present!
727
00:54:53,039 --> 00:54:54,062
Excuse me!
728
00:54:54,240 --> 00:54:56,969
Hello, I am calling
from Spiegel catalogue.
729
00:54:57,143 --> 00:54:59,576
Are you between the ages
of 18 and 39!
730
00:54:59,746 --> 00:55:01,542
We're trying to talk here.
731
00:55:01,714 --> 00:55:04,079
Have you ordered from catalogue
in past six months!
732
00:55:04,250 --> 00:55:06,240
Could you get off the phone
while you drive!
733
00:55:06,419 --> 00:55:09,216
Hey, what's the matter!
I trying to make a living, do my job.
734
00:55:09,388 --> 00:55:10,445
This is your job.
735
00:55:10,622 --> 00:55:11,713
This is job also.
736
00:55:11,890 --> 00:55:12,913
This is not Iraq.
737
00:55:13,091 --> 00:55:15,320
I am Palestine, I'm not Iraq.
738
00:55:15,494 --> 00:55:16,824
And you're not getting a tip.
739
00:55:16,995 --> 00:55:18,723
And you are a stupid cow.
740
00:55:18,897 --> 00:55:19,920
Jeez.
741
00:55:20,098 --> 00:55:22,657
- And we're done. Okay, you, skedaddle.
- Thanks so much.
742
00:55:22,834 --> 00:55:25,233
- I'll see you later.
- All right.
743
00:55:25,837 --> 00:55:27,770
I like this, the red hair.
744
00:55:27,940 --> 00:55:31,204
I bet she has a pumpkin patch
down below, yes!
745
00:55:31,375 --> 00:55:32,432
I don't know.
746
00:55:32,610 --> 00:55:35,203
- Did you tap her tuchus?
- No.
747
00:55:35,379 --> 00:55:38,404
Why don't you go after
the snatchacheem in this place!
748
00:55:38,583 --> 00:55:40,675
They all want you, believe me.
749
00:55:40,851 --> 00:55:42,818
Scrappy, I wouldn't be so sure.
750
00:55:42,987 --> 00:55:45,318
I'm telling you,
you're not picking up the signs.
751
00:55:45,990 --> 00:55:48,651
Come with me.
I'll show you a technique. It's beautiful.
752
00:55:48,826 --> 00:55:53,228
Hello, Mrs. Haynes. How are you!
You want the cut and color today!
753
00:55:53,396 --> 00:55:54,760
Yes, please. Thanks.
754
00:55:55,765 --> 00:55:56,788
Watch.
755
00:56:00,437 --> 00:56:03,496
You see! She's going with it.
It's good.
756
00:56:03,673 --> 00:56:04,832
Yep.
757
00:56:05,342 --> 00:56:08,139
- She has a free shoulder. Come join.
- I'm good.
758
00:56:09,312 --> 00:56:11,745
Mrs. Haynes,
you're getting cold here.
759
00:56:11,915 --> 00:56:14,348
Claude, come. Keep her warm.
760
00:56:14,516 --> 00:56:16,176
Go ahead. Yes.
761
00:56:16,885 --> 00:56:21,480
And gently move.
Gently move the shoulder.
762
00:56:21,657 --> 00:56:24,454
All you want to do is let her know
you're here for her.
763
00:56:25,011 --> 00:56:28,069
Now look away
like you're not even doing it.
764
00:56:28,246 --> 00:56:30,179
We're not doing this.
765
00:56:30,348 --> 00:56:31,645
- Same rhythm.
- Okay.
766
00:56:31,817 --> 00:56:34,181
Push. Push. Push.
767
00:56:35,987 --> 00:56:40,649
Oh, you're pushing harder.
It's starting to feel good on my end.
768
00:56:40,824 --> 00:56:44,487
I am trying to make money
to start my own business, huh.
769
00:56:44,663 --> 00:56:47,221
Would you say you read Spiegel
once a month, twice...
770
00:56:47,399 --> 00:56:49,262
Would you just get us
to the hair salon!
771
00:56:49,433 --> 00:56:50,991
We're gonna miss our appointment.
772
00:56:51,169 --> 00:56:54,763
I curse you, and I curse your hair.
773
00:56:54,939 --> 00:56:58,305
What is big deal
about this hair place anyway!
774
00:57:00,878 --> 00:57:02,401
They get worse every year.
775
00:57:09,420 --> 00:57:14,722
Okay, we'll take them to the truck.
We'll just talk to them. But we'll find a...
776
00:57:17,727 --> 00:57:21,356
Did you throw this shoe at me,
my friend!
777
00:57:22,532 --> 00:57:23,862
No!
778
00:57:24,033 --> 00:57:26,592
Sure looks like it was you.
779
00:57:31,174 --> 00:57:33,438
Then who threw it!
780
00:57:36,779 --> 00:57:40,976
Okay. You're lucky I'm in good mood.
I'll let you off the hook.
781
00:57:42,452 --> 00:57:45,214
Nobody spits on me.
782
00:57:49,591 --> 00:57:52,492
Thank you for the goat, my friend.
783
00:57:52,662 --> 00:57:53,685
Yes.
784
00:57:54,697 --> 00:57:57,062
Goat!
785
00:57:57,233 --> 00:57:59,200
Goat.
786
00:57:59,368 --> 00:58:01,892
Goat!
787
00:58:02,070 --> 00:58:04,536
Goat!
788
00:58:05,373 --> 00:58:07,863
Goat.
789
00:58:08,043 --> 00:58:11,033
I said, "Can we have the receipt!"
790
00:58:12,214 --> 00:58:14,773
Yes. Die in hell.
791
00:58:18,487 --> 00:58:19,714
Welcome.
792
00:58:23,324 --> 00:58:26,520
We'll color your hair Bling-Bling
Blond. This is what you need.
793
00:58:26,694 --> 00:58:28,684
You know what else they go for!
794
00:58:28,863 --> 00:58:32,696
The... I don't know what you have,
but mine is the biggest.
795
00:58:32,867 --> 00:58:35,391
This...
It does not get bigger than this.
796
00:58:35,569 --> 00:58:38,800
It's enormous. Scary. I mean:
797
00:58:38,973 --> 00:58:40,132
What!
798
00:58:40,575 --> 00:58:43,168
I have the biggest. It's the biggest.
799
00:58:43,344 --> 00:58:45,005
Take a look at this.
800
00:58:45,179 --> 00:58:47,169
Look.
801
00:58:49,916 --> 00:58:52,145
- It's not that big.
- It's not that...!
802
00:58:52,318 --> 00:58:53,478
No, no, no. The bush.
803
00:58:54,087 --> 00:58:55,748
The bush is the biggest.
804
00:58:55,923 --> 00:58:58,412
And the girls like this
because it's cushion.
805
00:58:59,927 --> 00:59:04,260
It is no bullshaklaga. He is the one.
I never forget a face.
806
00:59:04,431 --> 00:59:06,091
So, what do you want I do!
807
00:59:06,633 --> 00:59:08,532
Wait. I conference you.
808
00:59:10,603 --> 00:59:11,625
Hello!
809
00:59:11,805 --> 00:59:14,830
Nasi, emergency meeting.
You're on with Hamdi as well.
810
00:59:15,008 --> 00:59:16,941
- Hello, Nasi.
- Hello, Hamdi.
811
00:59:17,110 --> 00:59:19,509
Can you believe
how much they pay Delgado!
812
00:59:19,679 --> 00:59:22,909
Yes. Why Mets do this!
813
00:59:23,683 --> 00:59:26,708
This is serious. We meet!
814
00:59:26,886 --> 00:59:29,547
I explain why is emergency.
815
00:59:29,721 --> 00:59:32,518
This is not just man
who take my goat.
816
00:59:34,928 --> 00:59:38,020
- Zohan Dvir.
- Yes.
817
00:59:38,197 --> 00:59:40,323
Everyone think Phantom kill him.
818
00:59:40,499 --> 00:59:41,863
Phantom not kill him.
819
00:59:42,034 --> 00:59:45,663
We will capture,
then make trade with Israel.
820
00:59:45,838 --> 00:59:47,998
We will be heroes.
821
00:59:48,173 --> 00:59:51,870
But, Salim, we are not Jihadim. We
don't know for sure that this is him.
822
00:59:52,044 --> 00:59:54,943
Let's call Hamas, Hezbollah.
Let them handle this.
823
00:59:55,112 --> 00:59:57,136
- Leave it to the pros.
- No.
824
00:59:57,315 --> 00:59:58,713
Hezbollah shmezbollah.
825
00:59:58,883 --> 01:00:02,751
Hezbollah will take all the credit.
This is our shot.
826
01:00:02,921 --> 01:00:04,854
Why not let Phantom capture him!
827
01:00:05,023 --> 01:00:08,219
Screw Phantom. He hero already.
828
01:00:08,727 --> 01:00:12,092
Where's my chain
of muchentuchen restaurants!
829
01:00:13,531 --> 01:00:16,259
Salim, don't make this
about yourself.
830
01:00:16,433 --> 01:00:17,900
This is about me.
831
01:00:18,068 --> 01:00:19,695
And about him.
832
01:00:19,871 --> 01:00:21,838
And about my goat!
833
01:00:22,572 --> 01:00:25,132
Come on, let's go!
834
01:00:25,309 --> 01:00:28,709
This is nice,
the walking inside the outside.
835
01:00:28,879 --> 01:00:32,440
The park, the people,
the horses, the kid.
836
01:00:32,616 --> 01:00:34,446
Well, you're always downtown.
837
01:00:34,618 --> 01:00:36,710
You should see
a little more of New York.
838
01:00:36,887 --> 01:00:38,854
Yes, yes, this is good.
839
01:00:39,022 --> 01:00:40,579
The talking is good...
840
01:00:40,757 --> 01:00:43,452
...to get to know each other
before the bang-boom. I like.
841
01:00:43,627 --> 01:00:47,494
Oh, no, no, no.
There will be no bang-booming.
842
01:00:47,664 --> 01:00:51,030
I just wanted to thank you
for saving my business.
843
01:00:51,201 --> 01:00:54,192
- This isn't a date.
- No, no, no.
844
01:00:54,371 --> 01:00:57,566
I feel you have helped me so much...
845
01:00:57,740 --> 01:01:00,003
The right thing to do
is to tap you so hard...
846
01:01:00,175 --> 01:01:03,371
...my schtitzel will come out
your poopech. That's what I think.
847
01:01:03,545 --> 01:01:06,570
Look, why don't we
just enjoy the park!
848
01:01:06,749 --> 01:01:08,910
No, no, no. This is what we do.
849
01:01:10,452 --> 01:01:12,885
Hey, look, softball.
850
01:01:13,056 --> 01:01:15,990
- You like softball!
- Of course, I love softball.
851
01:01:16,157 --> 01:01:19,957
What is softball! Teach me how to.
852
01:01:20,129 --> 01:01:22,721
I learned softball
when I came to the States.
853
01:01:22,897 --> 01:01:25,456
When you're Arab, it helps to fit in.
854
01:01:25,634 --> 01:01:27,566
Yeah, how long you move here ago!
855
01:01:27,736 --> 01:01:29,668
Just a few years ago.
856
01:01:29,838 --> 01:01:34,274
I couldn't take it there anymore.
All the hate, on both sides.
857
01:01:34,443 --> 01:01:36,501
Yes, especially yours.
858
01:01:36,678 --> 01:01:39,578
Why you say this! You don't know.
859
01:01:39,747 --> 01:01:41,976
No, no, I don't. I read this.
860
01:01:42,149 --> 01:01:46,518
The Australian-Tibet media
is very biased.
861
01:01:46,688 --> 01:01:50,248
Look, both sides crazy.
862
01:01:50,425 --> 01:01:51,789
My own family...
863
01:01:52,994 --> 01:01:54,517
My brother...
864
01:01:54,696 --> 01:02:00,099
...if he knew I work cross street
from Israelis, he would lose it.
865
01:02:00,267 --> 01:02:03,861
- Really!
- You have the hardcores on both sides.
866
01:02:04,037 --> 01:02:06,470
They just want to fight and fight.
867
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:09,837
Nobody will win this way.
It has to stop.
868
01:02:11,111 --> 01:02:14,375
When will it end, eh! Yes.
869
01:02:16,117 --> 01:02:19,949
Okay, so you must be thirsty, no!
870
01:02:20,454 --> 01:02:22,387
Here.
871
01:02:22,556 --> 01:02:24,546
Where you get this!
872
01:02:24,725 --> 01:02:27,158
This! From specialty shop
on West Side.
873
01:02:27,326 --> 01:02:30,853
This Middle Eastern drink.
You know this! Fizzy Bubblech!
874
01:02:31,031 --> 01:02:34,192
No, no, no. It looks pretty good.
875
01:02:34,367 --> 01:02:37,234
Oh, try, try. It's very good.
Try, have a sip.
876
01:02:41,474 --> 01:02:42,564
It's not for me.
877
01:02:42,741 --> 01:02:44,640
No! Really!
878
01:02:48,247 --> 01:02:50,544
This is his shop.
879
01:02:50,716 --> 01:02:53,080
Here is photo for compare.
880
01:02:53,251 --> 01:02:55,811
For how long this take!
I close the newsstand.
881
01:02:57,189 --> 01:03:00,749
Make sure you ask him
if he ever hit by shoe.
882
01:03:00,926 --> 01:03:06,090
And about the prize goat
that can fetch a bowl of onion soup.
883
01:03:06,698 --> 01:03:10,531
Look in his eyes when you
ask him this, for they will be suffering.
884
01:03:10,702 --> 01:03:12,931
- You know, I just got haircut.
- Go.
885
01:03:14,373 --> 01:03:19,172
Look at this. I feel like Hugh Hefner
with all you little bunnies around here.
886
01:03:22,113 --> 01:03:26,208
Okay, okay,
let's see who is going next.
887
01:03:27,452 --> 01:03:31,547
"Jorge Posada," where are you!
888
01:03:31,723 --> 01:03:32,881
That's me.
889
01:03:34,491 --> 01:03:37,288
Okay, good-looking guy,
you take a seat there. You're next.
890
01:03:37,962 --> 01:03:40,428
You know, you look like
you already just got haircut.
891
01:03:41,465 --> 01:03:43,523
No, no.
892
01:03:43,701 --> 01:03:47,567
So I guessing you're looking for
something in the silky smooth area!
893
01:03:47,737 --> 01:03:51,036
- Well...
- Because I see you have nice curls.
894
01:03:51,207 --> 01:03:53,800
You don't want to
cut into those curls.
895
01:03:53,976 --> 01:03:55,909
We will talk about this over there.
896
01:03:56,079 --> 01:04:00,516
Okay, Scrappy, I wait.
897
01:04:00,684 --> 01:04:03,277
Is not like I have a shoe to throw.
898
01:04:04,554 --> 01:04:06,384
Sure. Yes. Beautiful. Whatever.
899
01:04:06,556 --> 01:04:10,719
I don't have time to go watch
a goat fetch soap.
900
01:04:11,527 --> 01:04:14,586
- What!
- What! I don't know.
901
01:04:14,764 --> 01:04:16,162
Listen, my friend...
902
01:04:16,332 --> 01:04:19,266
...you want to talk, it's good,
but you have to wait your turn.
903
01:04:19,435 --> 01:04:21,561
First I have to cut and bang
Mrs. Greenhouse.
904
01:04:21,737 --> 01:04:23,761
- That's right.
- Okay.
905
01:04:28,311 --> 01:04:30,005
Well, I'm ready for it.
906
01:04:30,178 --> 01:04:32,372
Oh, dear.
907
01:04:33,850 --> 01:04:38,479
I am sorry, Mrs. Greenhouse.
I am not man enough for you today.
908
01:04:38,653 --> 01:04:41,416
Oh, Scrappy, it's fine.
909
01:04:41,590 --> 01:04:45,423
I don't know what the problem is.
I am going to lose business.
910
01:04:45,594 --> 01:04:49,495
Oh, no, dear. You're still adorable.
911
01:04:49,664 --> 01:04:52,427
The screwing
was really just a bonus.
912
01:04:53,301 --> 01:04:56,791
You are an angel, Mrs. Greenhouse.
913
01:04:56,972 --> 01:05:00,065
An angel with a magic throat.
914
01:05:00,241 --> 01:05:02,106
Oh, Scrappy!
915
01:05:03,411 --> 01:05:06,845
No, that could work.
One more, please.
916
01:05:07,014 --> 01:05:08,606
Let's see what we got.
917
01:05:08,782 --> 01:05:10,942
And we're still nothing.
918
01:05:23,430 --> 01:05:24,453
Well!
919
01:05:24,632 --> 01:05:26,622
He was very cool.
920
01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,824
Idiot. What did he say!
921
01:05:29,470 --> 01:05:33,872
He think I have nice curls
that go well with a full face.
922
01:05:34,041 --> 01:05:37,203
- But was it him!
- Well, it looked like him.
923
01:05:37,377 --> 01:05:38,843
But hard to know.
924
01:05:39,012 --> 01:05:43,710
I tell you this: he didn't seem to care
when I talk about goat fetching soap.
925
01:05:44,751 --> 01:05:49,484
Soup. The goat fetched soup.
You ruin everything.
926
01:05:49,656 --> 01:05:51,647
Soup! This makes no sense.
927
01:05:51,824 --> 01:05:54,724
Screw you. It's him. I know it's him.
928
01:05:54,894 --> 01:05:58,488
The goat fetched soup!
This is unbelievable.
929
01:05:58,664 --> 01:06:00,995
Go to hell.
930
01:06:01,667 --> 01:06:02,894
You said it was urgent!
931
01:06:03,068 --> 01:06:06,265
It's an emergency.
Please, take a look.
932
01:06:07,573 --> 01:06:08,597
Yes, yes.
933
01:06:09,508 --> 01:06:13,443
Well, that's not a real problem.
You can always shave it.
934
01:06:14,514 --> 01:06:16,538
No, not the bush.
935
01:06:16,716 --> 01:06:20,674
No, inside the bush.
Look deeper. Him.
936
01:06:20,852 --> 01:06:23,081
- I see.
- He lays in there all day long.
937
01:06:23,255 --> 01:06:27,315
Maybe it needs some more oxygen.
It looks like it's being strangled.
938
01:06:29,361 --> 01:06:31,453
So the Palestinian says to the priest:
939
01:06:31,630 --> 01:06:34,893
"Okay, but let's skip the bath."
940
01:06:36,134 --> 01:06:37,964
Why, are they not clean!
941
01:06:38,136 --> 01:06:39,466
No, is good joke.
942
01:06:40,838 --> 01:06:43,965
Honey, are you all right!
You've been in there for over an hour.
943
01:06:44,141 --> 01:06:48,509
What is this stuff! I mean, I took one
sip and I repainted the whole toilet.
944
01:06:48,679 --> 01:06:51,238
Is Fizzy Bubblech.
You'll get used to it, relax.
945
01:06:51,415 --> 01:06:53,905
I don't wanna get used to it.
My car couldn't.
946
01:06:56,121 --> 01:06:59,452
- All right, that's it for me. I'm done.
- What! What!
947
01:06:59,624 --> 01:07:01,022
Is everything all right!
948
01:07:01,191 --> 01:07:03,249
- Is it about the pee-pee!
- Stop it.
949
01:07:03,426 --> 01:07:06,087
- The pee-pee!
- He can't do with his peepeechosetz.
950
01:07:06,263 --> 01:07:09,754
Really!
He's usually as hard as trigonometry.
951
01:07:09,933 --> 01:07:12,298
- Mom. What...!
- When did this happen!
952
01:07:13,037 --> 01:07:14,559
The last few days.
953
01:07:14,738 --> 01:07:17,968
Of course. It's ever since
you went out with that Dalia.
954
01:07:19,243 --> 01:07:23,941
Your hog is telling you something.
She must be the one.
955
01:07:24,114 --> 01:07:26,637
The one!
956
01:07:26,815 --> 01:07:28,146
Is this possible!
957
01:07:28,318 --> 01:07:30,978
Of course it's possible, man.
958
01:07:31,153 --> 01:07:35,350
All the beaverim in the world
and he falls for Palestinian muffich.
959
01:07:35,992 --> 01:07:38,255
Why should Scrappy care
if she's Palestinian!
960
01:07:38,428 --> 01:07:41,691
He's from Australia and Tibet.
He's not Israeli.
961
01:07:41,864 --> 01:07:43,195
- No, no, no.
- Oh, no, no, no.
962
01:07:45,668 --> 01:07:46,964
Exactly.
963
01:07:47,136 --> 01:07:48,727
What was that, a motor boat!
964
01:07:48,904 --> 01:07:50,131
You know, Scrappy...
965
01:07:50,305 --> 01:07:55,436
...a special woman is special
no matter where she's from.
966
01:07:55,611 --> 01:07:57,874
Listen to your hog.
967
01:07:58,647 --> 01:08:02,082
Someone special.
968
01:08:02,251 --> 01:08:03,376
Maybe is good.
969
01:08:03,552 --> 01:08:05,678
It's good! It's terrific!
970
01:08:06,521 --> 01:08:09,354
I mean, you know,
you guys won't be together anymore...
971
01:08:09,525 --> 01:08:11,991
...but Scrappy is in love.
That's great, awesome.
972
01:08:12,727 --> 01:08:14,318
Thank you for your support.
973
01:08:14,495 --> 01:08:16,086
- Is a good boy.
- Good boy.
974
01:08:16,264 --> 01:08:18,959
This is fun. Let's celebrate.
Where's the cat!
975
01:08:19,133 --> 01:08:21,760
Let's cat-sack, huh! Throw it to me.
976
01:08:21,937 --> 01:08:24,631
- Got you.
- Let's play, man.
977
01:08:27,407 --> 01:08:29,033
Take it, Michael.
978
01:08:33,780 --> 01:08:34,906
Look at you.
979
01:08:38,485 --> 01:08:40,783
I wanna try it.
980
01:08:48,162 --> 01:08:49,287
Is good.
981
01:08:51,732 --> 01:08:53,562
Welcome to Hezbollah phone line.
982
01:08:53,734 --> 01:08:56,293
For membership information,
press one.
983
01:08:56,470 --> 01:08:59,130
For negotiation update, press two.
984
01:08:59,305 --> 01:09:02,035
For bonus mile information,
press three.
985
01:09:02,209 --> 01:09:05,507
For terrorist supplies, press four.
986
01:09:06,980 --> 01:09:09,971
We have currently suspended
our terrorist supply service...
987
01:09:10,150 --> 01:09:13,141
... as we are engaged
in negotiations with Israel.
988
01:09:13,319 --> 01:09:18,654
We will resume service as soon as
negotiations break down. Thank you.
989
01:09:18,824 --> 01:09:20,950
Great.
990
01:09:21,427 --> 01:09:23,792
Come on. Just think of a bomb.
991
01:09:23,963 --> 01:09:28,262
They say you can make bomb from
everyday's material. You combine.
992
01:09:28,434 --> 01:09:31,459
Yes, okay.
But what we combination!
993
01:09:33,439 --> 01:09:34,961
Just think of chemicals.
994
01:09:35,141 --> 01:09:37,734
Chemicals, like in science class.
995
01:09:37,909 --> 01:09:39,809
Yes.
996
01:09:45,116 --> 01:09:48,142
Who remembers this stuff!
997
01:09:50,955 --> 01:09:52,013
Hello.
998
01:09:52,191 --> 01:09:54,818
Well, can I help you fellas
find anything!
999
01:09:54,993 --> 01:09:58,450
Yes, do you have...
1000
01:10:00,465 --> 01:10:05,197
..."liquid nitrogen."
1001
01:10:06,403 --> 01:10:08,029
You need what!
1002
01:10:08,205 --> 01:10:12,869
Liquid nitrogen.
1003
01:10:14,545 --> 01:10:18,345
Yeah. Well, I suppose
we have some of that.
1004
01:10:18,515 --> 01:10:19,776
Now, just a moment.
1005
01:10:26,156 --> 01:10:29,352
- This is it!
- Yes, and that's the large container.
1006
01:10:30,661 --> 01:10:32,218
This works!
1007
01:10:32,396 --> 01:10:34,056
Oh, it works quite well. Yes.
1008
01:10:35,365 --> 01:10:36,388
You use!
1009
01:10:36,567 --> 01:10:40,025
From time to time. Sure.
1010
01:10:44,607 --> 01:10:46,575
We'll take 12.
1011
01:10:47,577 --> 01:10:50,512
Look, you can turn off the water...
1012
01:10:50,681 --> 01:10:53,477
...but we will find a way
to keep on going.
1013
01:10:53,649 --> 01:10:55,707
Oh, you like when I spray you,
Mrs. Skitzer!
1014
01:10:55,885 --> 01:10:57,681
Where's the $ 14,000!
1015
01:10:58,253 --> 01:11:02,154
I have your rent right here.
There is no getting rid of me.
1016
01:11:02,324 --> 01:11:03,757
We don't wanna get rid of you.
1017
01:11:03,926 --> 01:11:08,361
Mr. Walbridge would actually like to
relocate your salon in our new mall.
1018
01:11:08,530 --> 01:11:11,761
You mean the one you want to destroy
this community to build!
1019
01:11:11,934 --> 01:11:14,401
It is not our intent
to destroy this community.
1020
01:11:15,270 --> 01:11:19,673
I'll take the community, Pancake.
1021
01:11:19,841 --> 01:11:23,105
My name is Gray, and I'll be back.
1022
01:11:23,811 --> 01:11:25,539
Nice to meet you, Pancake.
1023
01:11:29,317 --> 01:11:30,340
Why Pancake!
1024
01:11:31,186 --> 01:11:32,209
Just for fun.
1025
01:11:32,988 --> 01:11:34,955
You were amazing right there.
1026
01:11:38,093 --> 01:11:39,116
Oh, my God.
1027
01:11:39,294 --> 01:11:41,318
What!
1028
01:11:41,495 --> 01:11:43,257
I have one.
1029
01:11:43,764 --> 01:11:44,856
What!
1030
01:11:45,032 --> 01:11:47,522
I have zikpah.
1031
01:11:47,701 --> 01:11:48,894
Look at it.
1032
01:11:50,204 --> 01:11:52,967
It is you.
1033
01:11:53,741 --> 01:11:57,801
Dalia, I don't know how to tell you this.
I cannot make sticky with anyone else.
1034
01:11:58,879 --> 01:12:01,780
You are the special one.
1035
01:12:01,950 --> 01:12:05,406
I will only be stiff for you.
1036
01:12:06,719 --> 01:12:08,243
Who is Steve!
1037
01:12:08,422 --> 01:12:10,820
Stiff, with an F.
1038
01:12:13,326 --> 01:12:15,953
- Stiff. Stiff.
- Yes.
1039
01:12:16,564 --> 01:12:18,154
Okay...
1040
01:12:18,332 --> 01:12:22,323
...I know you meant that
in a good way...
1041
01:12:22,503 --> 01:12:23,729
The best of ways.
1042
01:12:23,903 --> 01:12:26,336
- so thank you.
1043
01:12:26,505 --> 01:12:28,631
Thank you.
1044
01:12:29,976 --> 01:12:31,602
Is crazy.
1045
01:12:31,778 --> 01:12:35,076
This has never happened.
1046
01:12:35,248 --> 01:12:36,838
One woman...
1047
01:12:37,015 --> 01:12:39,210
...one zikpah...
1048
01:12:39,385 --> 01:12:41,078
...one life.
1049
01:13:04,444 --> 01:13:07,570
You see his face!
Scared Israeli son of bitch.
1050
01:13:07,746 --> 01:13:09,713
Salim, this is not bomb.
1051
01:13:09,880 --> 01:13:11,244
What you mean "not bomb"!
1052
01:13:11,415 --> 01:13:14,042
It's grade A liquid nitrogen.
1053
01:13:14,218 --> 01:13:15,912
Guys, I really need to go home.
1054
01:13:16,087 --> 01:13:18,247
Inaz have a soccer match
in the morning.
1055
01:13:18,422 --> 01:13:21,913
- I am hero.
- Salim, this not bomb. It just go:
1056
01:13:22,093 --> 01:13:23,890
Well, just go with it.
1057
01:13:26,031 --> 01:13:27,657
I scraped some off the window.
1058
01:13:28,332 --> 01:13:29,629
Maybe you know what is!
1059
01:13:35,438 --> 01:13:39,898
It's Neosporin, it's nothing.
I use it for cuts and genital sores.
1060
01:13:43,114 --> 01:13:45,808
We're beginning to think
maybe someone out to get the Zo...
1061
01:13:45,982 --> 01:13:47,812
The Scrappy.
1062
01:13:47,984 --> 01:13:51,579
You mean like a competing salon!
That's heavy.
1063
01:13:51,755 --> 01:13:54,655
Don't be afraid, honey.
Don't be afraid.
1064
01:13:54,824 --> 01:13:56,552
Well, I...
1065
01:13:58,061 --> 01:14:00,756
Yeah, lick this.
No, she likes the tongue in the ear.
1066
01:14:00,930 --> 01:14:02,954
Oh, I like that bet... Oh, I like that.
1067
01:14:03,133 --> 01:14:05,225
Close with the brenski.
1068
01:14:07,637 --> 01:14:10,036
Come on, get some saliva
on those bad boys.
1069
01:14:10,206 --> 01:14:12,366
- She likes it, huh!
- Of course she likes it.
1070
01:14:12,542 --> 01:14:13,872
Okay.
1071
01:14:14,043 --> 01:14:17,102
I could look for clues. It's my shift
for community night watch.
1072
01:14:17,279 --> 01:14:19,007
The what!
The communism tight crotch!
1073
01:14:19,181 --> 01:14:21,148
Oh, it's the community
night watch program.
1074
01:14:21,316 --> 01:14:25,183
You know, people in the neighborhood
patrolling it, keeping it safe.
1075
01:14:25,354 --> 01:14:27,116
We kick some ass.
1076
01:14:27,289 --> 01:14:30,224
Hey, why don't you let Scrappy Coco
take your shift tonight!
1077
01:14:30,393 --> 01:14:32,792
- I bet he'd be good at this.
- Oori.
1078
01:14:33,395 --> 01:14:35,362
What! For clues.
1079
01:14:35,530 --> 01:14:40,125
I know it sounds scary, Scrappy,
but you are gonna be just fine.
1080
01:14:41,003 --> 01:14:43,129
Maybe I can manage one night.
1081
01:14:43,305 --> 01:14:45,033
Maybe you can pretzel some people.
1082
01:14:45,207 --> 01:14:48,231
- Thank you for getting the hummus.
- The hummus.
1083
01:14:48,877 --> 01:14:50,365
Where's Patches!
1084
01:14:50,545 --> 01:14:52,307
Patches.
1085
01:14:55,883 --> 01:14:58,873
I'm terrified right now.
I'm totally terrified.
1086
01:14:59,052 --> 01:15:01,349
"Shitting my pants"
doesn't come close.
1087
01:15:01,522 --> 01:15:03,614
I wish I was shitting my pants.
1088
01:15:03,791 --> 01:15:05,655
It's just a patrol.
1089
01:15:05,827 --> 01:15:07,123
What if something goes down!
1090
01:15:07,294 --> 01:15:09,488
I don't know if I'd have the courage.
1091
01:15:09,663 --> 01:15:12,427
What if something goes down
and someone got killed!
1092
01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:16,091
I would have to live with that.
I'd be happier shitting my pants.
1093
01:15:16,270 --> 01:15:17,566
Much happier.
1094
01:15:21,641 --> 01:15:23,801
- Let's go.
- We're supposed to call the police.
1095
01:15:23,977 --> 01:15:25,068
No. No time.
1096
01:15:25,245 --> 01:15:27,144
No, no. No. It's good.
1097
01:15:30,250 --> 01:15:31,273
Drop the paint.
1098
01:15:32,686 --> 01:15:35,779
Get out of here, Ahab,
or I'll cut your eyes out.
1099
01:15:35,956 --> 01:15:38,423
- Maybe we should let him finish.
- No, no, no.
1100
01:15:38,592 --> 01:15:41,356
What you cut my eyes out with!
The Neosporin!
1101
01:15:44,363 --> 01:15:46,091
My blade, camel jockey.
1102
01:15:46,265 --> 01:15:49,666
My friend, the beating I give you
if you stop the spraying...
1103
01:15:49,836 --> 01:15:53,326
...is much less than the beating
I give you if you try to cut me.
1104
01:15:57,643 --> 01:15:58,939
What are you laughing at!
1105
01:15:59,812 --> 01:16:02,508
That was just with everyone.
1106
01:16:13,325 --> 01:16:14,985
They had it coming to them, right!
1107
01:16:15,161 --> 01:16:17,390
Yeah. Yeah, it seemed like it. Yeah.
1108
01:16:17,563 --> 01:16:21,362
- Okay, you take it from here.
- I got it.
1109
01:16:21,534 --> 01:16:22,897
Everything's gonna be okay.
1110
01:16:26,337 --> 01:16:28,566
What you gotta say about that, huh!
1111
01:16:32,844 --> 01:16:35,243
You're telling me
our guys can't handle...
1112
01:16:35,413 --> 01:16:38,643
...some neighborhood
night-watching losers!
1113
01:16:38,817 --> 01:16:41,683
We can't even put a scare
into these people!
1114
01:16:41,854 --> 01:16:43,581
The main guy who got in the way...
1115
01:16:43,755 --> 01:16:46,917
...is the same one who's bringing
old biddies into Rafaela Salon.
1116
01:16:47,090 --> 01:16:48,284
My aunt goes there.
1117
01:16:48,458 --> 01:16:51,858
She says besides the sex,
the guy gives a pretty good haircut.
1118
01:16:52,029 --> 01:16:54,155
Don't talk to me about that dump.
1119
01:16:54,332 --> 01:16:58,825
I've got a huge,
classy hotel standing there...
1120
01:16:59,003 --> 01:17:01,526
...and it's staring
at that cheap garbage.
1121
01:17:01,705 --> 01:17:04,036
I want it staring at the Supercuts.
1122
01:17:04,208 --> 01:17:10,009
Now, has anyone made any headway
with any of these foreign people!
1123
01:17:10,179 --> 01:17:13,239
I spoke to the manager of Going
Out Of Business again yesterday.
1124
01:17:13,417 --> 01:17:16,044
I stated our price
and the urgency of the matter...
1125
01:17:16,220 --> 01:17:19,210
...and he offered me two-thirds less
and a Toshiba DVD player.
1126
01:17:19,388 --> 01:17:21,948
The people at Everything Must Go
were just as difficult.
1127
01:17:22,125 --> 01:17:25,422
They offered me a Blu-ray disc
and a jar of hummus.
1128
01:17:25,929 --> 01:17:27,020
What's hummus!
1129
01:17:27,196 --> 01:17:29,095
It's a very tasty...
1130
01:17:29,265 --> 01:17:30,731
...diarrhea-like substance.
1131
01:17:30,900 --> 01:17:33,197
Grant Walbridge has a vision.
1132
01:17:33,369 --> 01:17:37,668
A vision for Lower Manhattan
to have the first indoor mall...
1133
01:17:37,840 --> 01:17:41,070
...with its own 300-foot
roller coaster.
1134
01:17:41,244 --> 01:17:44,576
You know, you're lucky I have
a world-class superhot girlfriend...
1135
01:17:44,747 --> 01:17:48,580
...with a perfectly proportioned
ass-to-breast ratio...
1136
01:17:48,750 --> 01:17:50,614
...or I'd be furious.
1137
01:17:50,785 --> 01:17:52,775
She is smoking, sir.
1138
01:17:52,955 --> 01:17:54,818
I'd pay
to spend an hour with her, sir.
1139
01:17:54,991 --> 01:17:56,251
Let me in on that.
1140
01:17:56,424 --> 01:17:57,981
Well, thank you.
1141
01:17:58,159 --> 01:18:04,222
But if you bitches
can't get those people out...
1142
01:18:04,399 --> 01:18:07,128
...I will find other people
who will get the job done.
1143
01:18:07,302 --> 01:18:10,066
However, whenever.
1144
01:18:11,305 --> 01:18:16,641
Walbridge!
1145
01:18:23,984 --> 01:18:25,348
This is where I find them.
1146
01:18:25,519 --> 01:18:28,784
But I don't know if it's same people
who try to Neosporin salon.
1147
01:18:28,957 --> 01:18:32,824
But you caught them writing this crap,
so, what do you do!
1148
01:18:34,995 --> 01:18:37,827
- You don't mess with the Zohan.
- Check it.
1149
01:18:37,998 --> 01:18:38,986
- Disco.
- Disco.
1150
01:18:39,166 --> 01:18:40,154
- Good.
- Good.
1151
01:18:40,334 --> 01:18:42,823
Why did you do this
to Naseef's store, huh!
1152
01:18:43,002 --> 01:18:44,469
Why you blame the Israelis!
1153
01:18:44,638 --> 01:18:46,537
We come to work,
go out of business.
1154
01:18:46,707 --> 01:18:49,573
No, no, no.
Is not Israeli who do this.
1155
01:18:49,743 --> 01:18:52,506
I do community watch.
Don't worry, it's all taken care of.
1156
01:18:52,680 --> 01:18:56,046
Not Israeli! Who else would write
"Arab go home"!
1157
01:18:56,215 --> 01:18:59,741
Oh, I don't know,
just maybe 99 percent of the world.
1158
01:19:00,620 --> 01:19:02,610
- You see what he says!
- That was joke.
1159
01:19:02,789 --> 01:19:06,451
Come on, come on.
You guys get along here, stop this.
1160
01:19:06,626 --> 01:19:10,721
Yeah, here it's okay. It's just there,
the war is never going to end.
1161
01:19:11,397 --> 01:19:14,764
You know, we were so close to peace
before the asshole shot Rabin.
1162
01:19:15,901 --> 01:19:17,265
Bush, he see the big picture.
1163
01:19:17,436 --> 01:19:19,869
Bush no want peace,
he set it all back.
1164
01:19:20,038 --> 01:19:23,474
What about Bush's wife!
This is a wife I would get sticky with.
1165
01:19:23,642 --> 01:19:25,768
I would do this. I would do this.
1166
01:19:25,944 --> 01:19:28,639
- Yes, yes.
- What about Clinton! I would do Hillary.
1167
01:19:30,549 --> 01:19:31,743
The big legs.
1168
01:19:31,918 --> 01:19:34,851
Yeah, she look strict,
like she's going to teach me a lesson.
1169
01:19:35,020 --> 01:19:37,180
- Yes, discipline.
- You know what's funny!
1170
01:19:37,355 --> 01:19:39,117
I like Chelsea.
1171
01:19:39,290 --> 01:19:40,881
You're crazy.
1172
01:19:42,227 --> 01:19:43,784
She has beautiful legs.
1173
01:19:44,763 --> 01:19:48,755
If I want legs, I'll take Obama's wife.
She has legs.
1174
01:19:48,934 --> 01:19:50,992
This is what happens
when they talk politics.
1175
01:19:51,169 --> 01:19:53,068
No, no, no, wife of McCain!
1176
01:19:53,238 --> 01:19:56,468
She has the ass,
and you know she's not getting any.
1177
01:19:57,676 --> 01:20:02,078
I understand my assistant
explained the job to you.
1178
01:20:02,245 --> 01:20:04,907
He told us. You wanna get
some people out your building...
1179
01:20:05,082 --> 01:20:08,016
...so you can build
some kind of roller coaster mall.
1180
01:20:08,185 --> 01:20:11,415
Sir, I just wanna thank you
for this opportunity.
1181
01:20:11,589 --> 01:20:15,752
I mean, it's a gift to mess with the Jews
and the terrorists on the same night.
1182
01:20:15,926 --> 01:20:17,257
I mean, it's like...
1183
01:20:17,428 --> 01:20:20,328
- It's like...
- Christmas in July.
1184
01:20:20,497 --> 01:20:22,361
It's like Christmas in July.
1185
01:20:22,532 --> 01:20:25,500
Right now
we are scheduled to sabotage...
1186
01:20:25,669 --> 01:20:28,534
... a black peoples' parade
in Chicago...
1187
01:20:28,705 --> 01:20:30,934
...but we can move that.
1188
01:20:31,107 --> 01:20:34,542
Well, I'm not really quite sure
how you move a parade.
1189
01:20:34,711 --> 01:20:37,201
That's easy, it's just a phone call.
1190
01:20:37,881 --> 01:20:41,213
Well, we'll be calling back
to make the arrangements.
1191
01:20:41,384 --> 01:20:45,286
Can I just say that I don't like
most rich people, but you get it.
1192
01:20:45,454 --> 01:20:47,944
We built this country
on the right to bear arms.
1193
01:20:48,123 --> 01:20:52,024
Now they're trying to tell me how many
bullets my gun can shoot per second.
1194
01:20:52,194 --> 01:20:55,925
They're trying to tell me
whether I can stockpile weapons...
1195
01:20:56,098 --> 01:20:57,793
...in the shed behind my house.
1196
01:20:57,967 --> 01:21:00,559
- Right, by God.
- Anyway, you're a rich guy that gets it.
1197
01:21:00,736 --> 01:21:02,999
You and Mel Gibson.
1198
01:21:05,441 --> 01:21:08,967
Mel Gibson. Not too shabby.
1199
01:21:11,446 --> 01:21:13,470
Welcome to Hezbollah
customer service.
1200
01:21:13,648 --> 01:21:15,081
All lines are busy now.
1201
01:21:15,250 --> 01:21:20,516
Your call will be received
in... minutes.
1202
01:21:21,290 --> 01:21:23,519
Come on with this.
How we find Phantom!
1203
01:21:23,692 --> 01:21:26,990
Well, he probably hang
at the muchentuchen restaurant.
1204
01:21:27,161 --> 01:21:29,685
Okay, but which!
He have, like, 200.
1205
01:21:29,864 --> 01:21:31,057
Probably in Amman.
1206
01:21:31,232 --> 01:21:33,426
In downtown
he get the hottest poochibaba.
1207
01:21:39,607 --> 01:21:42,370
What's the area code of Amman!
1208
01:22:23,383 --> 01:22:24,780
Hello. Phantom Muchentuchen.
1209
01:22:24,951 --> 01:22:27,510
Yes. I want speak Phantom.
1210
01:22:27,687 --> 01:22:29,620
What say! No English.
1211
01:22:30,022 --> 01:22:31,511
Idiot.
1212
01:22:31,690 --> 01:22:34,157
Want speak to Phantom.
1213
01:22:34,326 --> 01:22:37,226
No, no, no. Phantom not here.
Phantom Muchentuchen.
1214
01:22:37,396 --> 01:22:40,762
Yeah, yeah, I know.
But Phantom no come!
1215
01:22:40,933 --> 01:22:42,524
But what about for poonibaba!
1216
01:22:42,701 --> 01:22:46,101
No, no, poonibaba at store
on 3rd and Lachalta.
1217
01:22:46,272 --> 01:22:48,831
Oh, okay. So you have number
for store!
1218
01:22:49,008 --> 01:22:50,634
You call information.
1219
01:22:50,809 --> 01:22:53,242
You don't have number
for other store!
1220
01:22:55,680 --> 01:22:57,078
It's somewhere. I don't know.
1221
01:22:57,248 --> 01:23:03,186
Come on, get number! I calling from
America, fry bitch! I very important.
1222
01:23:03,354 --> 01:23:05,185
Salim, the kids.
1223
01:23:05,356 --> 01:23:08,483
When she is grown up
she will understand!
1224
01:23:10,094 --> 01:23:11,788
Hello.
1225
01:23:13,897 --> 01:23:17,162
I find the Zohan.
You not kill the Zohan.
1226
01:23:17,335 --> 01:23:18,925
I kill the Zohan.
1227
01:23:19,102 --> 01:23:21,969
No, you did not.
I find him in America.
1228
01:23:22,140 --> 01:23:24,732
I prove. I send you picture on cell.
1229
01:23:25,375 --> 01:23:27,137
Okay. Bring this.
1230
01:23:27,311 --> 01:23:28,505
I am bringing.
1231
01:23:34,918 --> 01:23:35,940
You see?
1232
01:23:36,119 --> 01:23:39,645
But the hairstyle, it is hideous.
1233
01:23:39,822 --> 01:23:40,914
This is same Zohan.
1234
01:23:41,091 --> 01:23:44,081
What he thinking! He look like guy
from Who's the Boss?
1235
01:23:44,260 --> 01:23:46,524
Look, this is same Zohan.
1236
01:23:46,697 --> 01:23:50,996
Everybody think you big hero.
But I tell everyone you not big hero.
1237
01:23:51,168 --> 01:23:53,135
Okay, okay, okay!
What you want, huh!
1238
01:23:53,303 --> 01:23:55,827
I want muchentuchen
restaurant chain.
1239
01:23:56,005 --> 01:23:57,164
No.
1240
01:23:57,340 --> 01:24:00,035
But if I tell,
you no have chain anyway.
1241
01:24:00,209 --> 01:24:02,472
So you not give any incentive.
1242
01:24:03,846 --> 01:24:06,780
Okay. I want 50 percent
of muchentuchen chain.
1243
01:24:06,949 --> 01:24:10,349
- Phantom & Salim Muchentuchen.
- No.
1244
01:24:10,519 --> 01:24:12,145
- Twenty-five percent.
- No.
1245
01:24:12,321 --> 01:24:15,312
I want yogurt shop attached to store,
like food court.
1246
01:24:15,792 --> 01:24:16,814
Okay.
1247
01:24:16,993 --> 01:24:18,892
- I get profits from store.
- No.
1248
01:24:19,060 --> 01:24:20,550
- Some profits.
- No.
1249
01:24:20,729 --> 01:24:22,697
I get free yogurt
when I come to store.
1250
01:24:23,398 --> 01:24:25,160
Okay. Within reason.
1251
01:24:25,333 --> 01:24:26,857
And I want some of your wives.
1252
01:24:27,302 --> 01:24:28,633
How many wives you want?
1253
01:24:28,804 --> 01:24:30,133
- Twenty.
- No.
1254
01:24:30,305 --> 01:24:32,135
- I sleep with one wife.
- No.
1255
01:24:32,307 --> 01:24:34,137
She give one pee-pee touch.
1256
01:24:35,044 --> 01:24:36,066
Okay.
1257
01:24:53,528 --> 01:24:56,587
My friends, look what I do.
I hook you all up with tickets.
1258
01:24:56,765 --> 01:24:59,527
This Walbridge guy's
trying to kiss salon's ass...
1259
01:24:59,701 --> 01:25:02,396
...so he give me 20 tickets
hackyside.
1260
01:25:02,569 --> 01:25:06,527
Very nice. Hassan, you see this!
1261
01:25:07,541 --> 01:25:10,737
This is where you're going to be
when Israel kick your ass.
1262
01:25:10,911 --> 01:25:14,209
Yes! No, you're gonna give it up
like you give up Gaza Strip, huh!
1263
01:25:16,250 --> 01:25:18,217
Excuse us.
1264
01:25:20,054 --> 01:25:21,145
I have to show you this.
1265
01:25:21,322 --> 01:25:24,917
Listen to Fatima Zaad's
gossip column on Page Nine.
1266
01:25:25,092 --> 01:25:28,184
"A hall of fame terrorist
is visiting New York...
1267
01:25:28,361 --> 01:25:30,692
...and not for the muchentuchen."
1268
01:25:31,398 --> 01:25:34,126
- Phantom's coming to the City!
- There's more.
1269
01:25:34,300 --> 01:25:38,463
"He's coming to hacky sack
a certain scrappy Israeli...
1270
01:25:38,638 --> 01:25:42,869
...who says he cuts hair,
but really cuts terrorist."
1271
01:25:44,510 --> 01:25:45,771
He's ruined everything.
1272
01:25:45,945 --> 01:25:48,242
Why you say! You the Zohan.
1273
01:25:48,414 --> 01:25:50,904
He come to hacky sack,
you take him out.
1274
01:25:51,083 --> 01:25:53,607
No, I don't care.
I come here to start new life.
1275
01:25:53,785 --> 01:25:56,686
Get new woman to love
and make the bang-boom.
1276
01:25:56,856 --> 01:25:59,085
Now my life's followed me here.
1277
01:26:07,933 --> 01:26:10,765
Maybe Phantom no care anymore.
1278
01:27:05,790 --> 01:27:08,314
You're an Israeli counterterrorist!
1279
01:27:08,492 --> 01:27:09,890
- I knew it.
- What!
1280
01:27:10,060 --> 01:27:13,357
Well, the Israeli part.
Because he's circumcised.
1281
01:27:14,330 --> 01:27:17,195
How is Dalia going to forgive me!
1282
01:27:17,366 --> 01:27:18,765
I'm liar.
1283
01:27:18,935 --> 01:27:21,869
She Palestinian, I'm no Australian.
1284
01:27:22,038 --> 01:27:24,972
You know, Scrappy...
I mean, "Zohard."
1285
01:27:25,141 --> 01:27:28,166
- if there's one thing I've learned
from all my relationships...
1286
01:27:28,344 --> 01:27:32,473
...with Jewish men, Puerto Rican men,
aborigines...
1287
01:27:34,149 --> 01:27:37,117
...you can't have secrets
in a relationship.
1288
01:27:37,286 --> 01:27:42,086
You tell her the truth
and if she really is this special one...
1289
01:27:42,257 --> 01:27:44,919
...everything will work out just fine.
1290
01:27:45,661 --> 01:27:47,753
I like this.
1291
01:27:52,766 --> 01:27:56,826
I am sorry I not tell you the truth before
I make you fall head over tits for me.
1292
01:27:57,002 --> 01:28:01,028
But believe me,
I am wanting you even more.
1293
01:28:02,042 --> 01:28:04,770
I know you're not from
where you say.
1294
01:28:04,943 --> 01:28:07,035
I see how you look
at the Fizzy Bubblech.
1295
01:28:07,212 --> 01:28:11,238
Then why you like this! Is it because
I Israel and you Palestine!
1296
01:28:11,417 --> 01:28:12,941
Come on, tell me in my face.
1297
01:28:13,119 --> 01:28:16,554
Zohan, you're not just Israel.
1298
01:28:16,722 --> 01:28:18,621
You Israel.
1299
01:28:18,791 --> 01:28:20,758
But you say hate is stupid.
1300
01:28:20,926 --> 01:28:24,725
That's why you run to America, to get
away from the hate and the fighting.
1301
01:28:25,330 --> 01:28:28,422
I was even thinking
we let all this cool down...
1302
01:28:28,599 --> 01:28:30,566
...I go out and get us
a house over there.
1303
01:28:30,735 --> 01:28:33,329
We move in together,
we cut the hair...
1304
01:28:33,505 --> 01:28:36,268
...make the children,
cut the children's hair.
1305
01:28:36,442 --> 01:28:38,807
Zohan, I can't.
1306
01:28:39,677 --> 01:28:43,271
I have open mind,
but you Israeli counterterrorist.
1307
01:28:43,448 --> 01:28:45,142
No, no, no. I no do this anymore.
1308
01:28:45,316 --> 01:28:48,045
You put the fork in the fat lady,
it's over.
1309
01:28:48,219 --> 01:28:50,379
She's had enough to eat.
This is a promise.
1310
01:28:50,555 --> 01:28:53,045
It doesn't matter.
1311
01:28:53,224 --> 01:28:55,316
You don't know my family.
1312
01:28:55,493 --> 01:28:57,960
Or maybe you do.
1313
01:28:58,130 --> 01:28:59,390
What does this mean!
1314
01:29:00,630 --> 01:29:02,393
Just leave.
1315
01:29:02,567 --> 01:29:04,500
Please, it can't be.
1316
01:29:08,940 --> 01:29:11,271
Maybe is for best.
1317
01:29:12,109 --> 01:29:15,237
You deserve a safe life.
1318
01:29:16,580 --> 01:29:18,740
But know...
1319
01:29:19,684 --> 01:29:22,913
...you will always be my special one.
1320
01:29:34,531 --> 01:29:36,623
- Zohan.
- Dalia.
1321
01:29:39,269 --> 01:29:40,701
I got you a gift.
1322
01:29:40,871 --> 01:29:42,997
A gift.
1323
01:29:46,775 --> 01:29:49,265
They come out with new book!
1324
01:29:49,445 --> 01:29:54,279
Yes. They do it
every 21 years, I think.
1325
01:29:54,449 --> 01:29:56,643
Just a slight update from yours.
1326
01:30:02,358 --> 01:30:04,348
No feathering!
1327
01:30:04,526 --> 01:30:05,822
Or scrunching!
1328
01:30:06,561 --> 01:30:07,857
Where's the style!
1329
01:30:08,897 --> 01:30:13,630
But I know this is nice gesture.
Thank you.
1330
01:30:14,903 --> 01:30:16,529
Goodbye, Zohan.
1331
01:30:16,704 --> 01:30:18,933
Goodbye.
1332
01:30:25,379 --> 01:30:27,471
Goodbye.
1333
01:30:52,538 --> 01:30:54,199
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
1334
01:30:54,374 --> 01:30:55,863
Me too.
1335
01:30:56,043 --> 01:30:57,303
You still go to Hacky Sack!
1336
01:30:57,477 --> 01:31:00,445
Yes, it's better I find him
than he finds me, huh!
1337
01:31:00,614 --> 01:31:03,673
I got your back.
I get you best army guys in city.
1338
01:31:03,850 --> 01:31:06,818
No, no, no. I handle this alone.
1339
01:31:16,796 --> 01:31:18,592
Hello! Let's go.
1340
01:31:36,915 --> 01:31:39,383
Go. Go, go, go.
1341
01:32:04,476 --> 01:32:08,912
Ladies and gentlemen,
here are your Israeli Blue Stars...
1342
01:32:09,080 --> 01:32:13,243
... and your Lebanese Trees!
1343
01:32:24,928 --> 01:32:27,157
Fizzy Bubblech.
1344
01:32:39,742 --> 01:32:42,233
What's with the cheers!
Wasn't that guy a terrorist!
1345
01:32:42,412 --> 01:32:44,902
Yeah, people used to boo
you too, John, you remember!
1346
01:32:45,081 --> 01:32:46,604
I wasn't a terrorist.
1347
01:32:46,783 --> 01:32:49,046
You were pretty bad.
1348
01:32:51,054 --> 01:32:55,013
I brought this great event
to New York to tell the world...
1349
01:32:55,192 --> 01:32:57,159
...that New York City...
1350
01:32:57,327 --> 01:33:01,558
...loves its foreign immigrant-types
from the Middle East.
1351
01:33:02,698 --> 01:33:07,431
My hot girlfriend and I
know that we can all get along...
1352
01:33:07,603 --> 01:33:13,062
...whether you're white, or brown,
or khaki, whatever that color is.
1353
01:33:13,241 --> 01:33:17,575
And here to sing
the American national anthem...
1354
01:33:17,746 --> 01:33:20,213
...a superstar we all love:
1355
01:33:20,382 --> 01:33:22,611
Mariah Carey!
1356
01:33:48,977 --> 01:33:50,499
Goal!
1357
01:33:50,678 --> 01:33:52,941
And disco break!
1358
01:34:08,129 --> 01:34:11,460
Disco, disco, good, good!
Disco, disco, good, good!
1359
01:34:11,631 --> 01:34:15,498
Disco, disco, good, good!
Disco, disco, good, good!
1360
01:34:17,704 --> 01:34:19,500
Okay, Mariah. Couple more.
1361
01:34:19,672 --> 01:34:22,470
This one's from Sheik Fayalah
of Lebanon.
1362
01:34:22,642 --> 01:34:25,132
He wants you to write
"All I want for Ramadan is you."
1363
01:34:25,311 --> 01:34:26,469
Okay, this again!
1364
01:34:26,646 --> 01:34:27,804
- I know.
- All right.
1365
01:34:27,980 --> 01:34:30,004
MC, there's a Mr. Phantom
here to see you.
1366
01:34:30,182 --> 01:34:32,308
Who's Phantom,
a dude trying to be a rapper!
1367
01:34:32,484 --> 01:34:35,544
- Because I don't know who that is.
- He says he's a killing machine.
1368
01:34:36,289 --> 01:34:37,983
Whatever. Okay.
1369
01:34:40,293 --> 01:34:42,556
Miss Mariah Carey.
1370
01:34:43,897 --> 01:34:46,865
It is a pleasure to meet you.
1371
01:34:47,032 --> 01:34:50,592
Thank you. Nice to meet you.
Hi, how are you!
1372
01:34:50,769 --> 01:34:54,226
Miss Carey, your high notes
are so beautiful...
1373
01:34:54,406 --> 01:34:58,808
...like a Scud missile
soaring towards its target.
1374
01:34:59,511 --> 01:35:01,808
- Thank you. That's really nice.
- Thank you.
1375
01:35:01,980 --> 01:35:03,674
So you know I'm not dead.
1376
01:35:05,317 --> 01:35:07,546
Oh, I sorry I startle.
1377
01:35:07,718 --> 01:35:11,585
I was not startle. I saw a bee.
1378
01:35:11,756 --> 01:35:14,223
There's a bee! I'm allergic.
It's not even funny.
1379
01:35:14,392 --> 01:35:16,883
No, no, no. Look.
The bee is gone. He's gone.
1380
01:35:17,062 --> 01:35:19,325
Mariah, believe me, there's no bee.
1381
01:35:19,497 --> 01:35:21,362
I'm allergic. You know I'm allergic.
1382
01:35:21,533 --> 01:35:26,332
No, no, no. The bee... Forget the bee.
The bee is made up, it's fiction.
1383
01:35:26,504 --> 01:35:28,835
It was a black wasp.
1384
01:35:29,005 --> 01:35:30,995
- promising me
that there was no bee here.
1385
01:35:31,174 --> 01:35:32,868
There was no bee. He says the bee...
1386
01:35:33,043 --> 01:35:36,274
...so he can look more like a person
who would not scream like this.
1387
01:35:36,447 --> 01:35:38,744
- Are you sure!
- I promise you.
1388
01:35:38,915 --> 01:35:40,246
I beg your cleavage's pardon.
1389
01:35:40,418 --> 01:35:44,854
We will be out of your bouncy hair
in a jiffy. Is between us.
1390
01:35:45,022 --> 01:35:47,682
I was going to kill you tomorrow...
1391
01:35:47,858 --> 01:35:54,262
...but I guess jackass
can't wait to die for real.
1392
01:35:54,431 --> 01:35:56,090
Do y'all want us to leave!
Because we can go.
1393
01:35:56,265 --> 01:35:57,926
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no.
1394
01:35:58,101 --> 01:36:00,796
- We are not even here.
- Almost done. Give it a few seconds.
1395
01:36:02,873 --> 01:36:05,340
I came here to the States to
stop the fighting...
1396
01:36:05,509 --> 01:36:07,533
...but I guess
this will never end, eh!
1397
01:36:08,645 --> 01:36:12,410
Oh, Zohan does not want
to fight anymore.
1398
01:36:12,581 --> 01:36:14,070
Scared of bees, huh!
1399
01:36:14,250 --> 01:36:17,447
Now I'm afraid of the bees!
I'm afraid of the bees!
1400
01:36:17,620 --> 01:36:19,747
What! You're the one that
brings up the bees.
1401
01:36:20,990 --> 01:36:23,514
Your hair. Your hair does not
do you justice.
1402
01:36:23,693 --> 01:36:25,990
You don't like this hair!
I think you're alone on this one.
1403
01:36:26,162 --> 01:36:27,627
Everyone else
going crazy for it.
1404
01:36:27,796 --> 01:36:30,287
I like the 'fro better.
1405
01:36:30,467 --> 01:36:31,762
Hang on, I'm getting a call.
1406
01:36:33,868 --> 01:36:34,959
Michael, what is!
1407
01:36:35,136 --> 01:36:37,296
Zohan? We have a problem here.
1408
01:36:37,472 --> 01:36:40,133
- Where you get that!
- This is a Sony Ericsson.
1409
01:36:40,308 --> 01:36:42,742
- It has Bluetooth!
- Of course it has Bluetooth.
1410
01:36:42,912 --> 01:36:45,243
I can never figure that
Bluetooth shit out, though.
1411
01:36:45,414 --> 01:36:48,006
Oh, no, it's very simple.
You sync it to your PowerBook.
1412
01:36:48,182 --> 01:36:50,809
- Tell her. Phantom will tell you.
- Mac or PC!
1413
01:36:51,487 --> 01:36:53,647
- Mac.
- You have MySpace!
1414
01:36:53,821 --> 01:36:56,050
The record company does.
It's not really mine.
1415
01:36:56,224 --> 01:36:59,192
Please, add me as a friend.
1416
01:36:59,994 --> 01:37:01,016
Sure, yeah, yeah.
1417
01:37:01,194 --> 01:37:04,186
Sure, as Huge Boner.
We'll add you tomorrow.
1418
01:37:04,399 --> 01:37:05,490
Michael, what is!
1419
01:37:05,667 --> 01:37:11,832
There's a bunch of guys and they are
lighting fires and it's getting pretty bad.
1420
01:37:14,242 --> 01:37:16,232
No. Stay where you are.
1421
01:37:16,410 --> 01:37:17,898
Yeah, we'll stay up here.
1422
01:37:18,445 --> 01:37:20,708
- What! Where you go!
- I have bigger fish to swim.
1423
01:37:20,881 --> 01:37:23,644
- Mariah, I love the newest album.
- Thank you.
1424
01:37:47,474 --> 01:37:49,998
The Zohan.
1425
01:37:53,446 --> 01:37:54,673
My pita shop.
1426
01:37:56,617 --> 01:37:57,844
They burned it down.
1427
01:38:11,230 --> 01:38:12,560
Why you do this!
1428
01:38:12,732 --> 01:38:15,359
We no do this. We at Hacky Sack
as much as the next guy.
1429
01:38:15,534 --> 01:38:19,299
And I wish that we should do this,
after you write that shit on my wall.
1430
01:38:21,306 --> 01:38:22,863
Across street!
1431
01:38:23,041 --> 01:38:25,565
- Waleed, Waleed. Look, Waleed!
- No. My store.
1432
01:38:25,744 --> 01:38:29,907
You people ruined my store.
You people ruined my store!
1433
01:38:35,120 --> 01:38:37,314
What I miss!
I was stuck on West Broadway.
1434
01:38:37,489 --> 01:38:40,116
The Israeli burned down my store!
1435
01:38:40,291 --> 01:38:41,587
No, no, no.
1436
01:38:41,760 --> 01:38:43,521
I save store.
1437
01:38:43,694 --> 01:38:46,287
Then I kill the Zohan.
1438
01:38:48,732 --> 01:38:51,256
Phantom, kick its ass.
1439
01:38:51,435 --> 01:38:52,765
Jab it to the right.
1440
01:38:52,936 --> 01:38:54,800
Stick and move, Phantom.
Stick and move.
1441
01:38:55,506 --> 01:38:57,996
He can't do this alone.
1442
01:39:01,445 --> 01:39:02,844
Don't back down. Kick its ass.
1443
01:39:26,235 --> 01:39:28,202
Phantom.
1444
01:39:31,974 --> 01:39:33,338
Why you help me!
1445
01:39:33,875 --> 01:39:37,072
Because I'm through with this.
1446
01:39:37,246 --> 01:39:38,542
I no more fight.
1447
01:39:40,048 --> 01:39:43,381
You do whatever you want,
but I no fight back.
1448
01:39:44,220 --> 01:39:46,380
It's trick, huh!
1449
01:39:46,555 --> 01:39:47,680
No.
1450
01:39:50,425 --> 01:39:52,893
- Fight back.
- No.
1451
01:39:53,061 --> 01:39:56,052
- Fight back!
- No.
1452
01:39:57,666 --> 01:39:58,791
Fight back, Zohan.
1453
01:39:58,967 --> 01:40:01,197
Fight him back. What are you doing!
Fight back.
1454
01:40:03,339 --> 01:40:04,395
No.
1455
01:40:04,573 --> 01:40:07,838
This is not fun for anybody.
1456
01:40:08,009 --> 01:40:09,373
Why you not fight back!
1457
01:40:09,544 --> 01:40:13,205
Because he know better.
He show you he change.
1458
01:40:13,614 --> 01:40:14,637
Sister!
1459
01:40:14,815 --> 01:40:16,805
When you gonna grow up, Fatoush!
1460
01:40:16,984 --> 01:40:18,178
Fatoush!
1461
01:40:18,353 --> 01:40:21,013
No, no, no Fatoush.
1462
01:40:21,188 --> 01:40:24,715
Is Phantom now.
And is my business.
1463
01:40:24,893 --> 01:40:27,519
Is my man, Fatoush.
1464
01:40:27,695 --> 01:40:29,162
You're my woman!
1465
01:40:29,331 --> 01:40:30,854
You Phantom's sister!
1466
01:40:31,031 --> 01:40:32,930
You tapping the Zohan!
1467
01:40:33,467 --> 01:40:35,297
You settle for a pee-pee touch!
1468
01:40:35,469 --> 01:40:38,698
I wouldn't say "settle."
It was negotiation.
1469
01:40:38,873 --> 01:40:40,100
Fatoush is talking.
1470
01:40:41,609 --> 01:40:44,770
Yes. I am Phantom's sister.
1471
01:40:46,213 --> 01:40:50,046
And, no, Fatoush,
I am not tapping the Zohan.
1472
01:40:50,217 --> 01:40:54,118
But I think I love him.
1473
01:40:56,589 --> 01:40:57,919
This is good.
1474
01:40:58,091 --> 01:41:00,752
Of course you love me.
I'm very good man.
1475
01:41:04,497 --> 01:41:07,897
Brother, here in America
we're the same.
1476
01:41:08,067 --> 01:41:11,934
We just people trying to get jobs
cutting hair, driving cabs...
1477
01:41:12,105 --> 01:41:14,095
...selling crappy stereo equipment.
1478
01:41:14,273 --> 01:41:16,365
- Hey. Is Sony guts.
- Whatever.
1479
01:41:16,543 --> 01:41:21,569
The point is, we are thousands
of miles away from all this hate...
1480
01:41:21,747 --> 01:41:24,408
...and we live together just fine.
1481
01:41:24,583 --> 01:41:26,140
We do.
1482
01:41:27,753 --> 01:41:28,912
We do.
1483
01:41:29,088 --> 01:41:33,990
Come on, people.
Where is the hate! Anyone!
1484
01:41:34,493 --> 01:41:36,323
- I resent.
- Resent is good.
1485
01:41:36,494 --> 01:41:37,791
What! What do you resent!
1486
01:41:37,963 --> 01:41:39,053
People don't like us.
1487
01:41:39,230 --> 01:41:42,324
Come on, is not easy for us.
People don't like us too.
1488
01:41:42,501 --> 01:41:46,129
- Why!
- Because they think we are you.
1489
01:41:47,605 --> 01:41:49,971
We do look alike.
You got to admit this. Come on.
1490
01:41:50,909 --> 01:41:53,501
Waleed looks Mexican, to be honest.
1491
01:41:54,713 --> 01:41:55,939
Yeah, he do.
1492
01:41:57,615 --> 01:41:59,673
You know, ever since
the stupid terrorists...
1493
01:41:59,851 --> 01:42:01,613
...everyone think we are terrorists.
1494
01:42:01,786 --> 01:42:03,685
Look, Bashir, no offense...
1495
01:42:03,855 --> 01:42:07,085
...but if you sat next to me on a plane,
I might want to get off too.
1496
01:42:10,027 --> 01:42:11,254
He's right.
1497
01:42:11,429 --> 01:42:15,865
But how could I not hate
when you stole my goat!
1498
01:42:16,701 --> 01:42:19,191
I am sorry about your goat.
1499
01:42:19,369 --> 01:42:23,202
He was a good goat.
I treat him like member of the family.
1500
01:42:24,741 --> 01:42:27,208
- Really!
- Yes.
1501
01:42:27,377 --> 01:42:30,436
Did you rub his chin!
1502
01:42:30,614 --> 01:42:32,581
Like this!
1503
01:42:32,749 --> 01:42:36,707
Yes, sometimes for hours.
He would make face if I stop.
1504
01:42:36,887 --> 01:42:38,377
He make the face!
1505
01:42:38,556 --> 01:42:41,421
Oh, the face. The face.
1506
01:42:41,590 --> 01:42:44,114
That's it, that's it.
That looks just like him.
1507
01:42:44,293 --> 01:42:47,955
As long as he was happy.
1508
01:42:48,130 --> 01:42:49,721
Is good. Very happy.
1509
01:42:52,635 --> 01:42:54,499
Holy shichumetz.
1510
01:42:54,670 --> 01:42:56,296
I see what is.
1511
01:42:59,708 --> 01:43:01,402
Those are cool. Who make this!
1512
01:43:28,769 --> 01:43:31,896
You see this! Bastard landlord.
1513
01:43:32,072 --> 01:43:33,470
He tell us go to Hacky Sack...
1514
01:43:33,640 --> 01:43:36,301
...so he can make it look like
we burn each other's store.
1515
01:43:36,476 --> 01:43:38,670
To make us look like we enemies.
1516
01:43:38,846 --> 01:43:40,368
This the real enemy.
1517
01:43:41,481 --> 01:43:43,846
I thought the whole place
was going down.
1518
01:43:44,017 --> 01:43:45,348
Oh, we're waiting on them, sir.
1519
01:43:45,518 --> 01:43:51,514
We're drawing them closer,
like a fat queer to a dick sandwich.
1520
01:43:53,192 --> 01:43:54,886
Aharon, get weapons from truck.
1521
01:43:55,061 --> 01:43:57,187
No, no, no.
I wanna minimize collateral damage.
1522
01:43:57,363 --> 01:43:59,227
- I do this alone.
- I do this alone.
1523
01:43:59,398 --> 01:44:01,297
- We do this together.
- I go myself.
1524
01:44:01,467 --> 01:44:05,459
No, no, no. Listen.
Come on, already, big guy.
1525
01:44:05,638 --> 01:44:07,798
Let it go.
We're on the same side, here.
1526
01:44:07,973 --> 01:44:09,837
Don't "big guy" me, big guy.
1527
01:44:10,008 --> 01:44:12,374
Look, you think I didn't want
to run like you did!
1528
01:44:12,545 --> 01:44:14,671
- Is no pressure here.
- What!
1529
01:44:14,847 --> 01:44:19,942
Listen, all I ever wanted since high
school was to go to States and...
1530
01:44:20,118 --> 01:44:23,383
- What!
- This hard to say.
1531
01:44:23,556 --> 01:44:25,648
Tell me, what is!
1532
01:44:27,126 --> 01:44:28,956
And sell shoes.
1533
01:44:29,127 --> 01:44:30,820
I love shoes.
1534
01:44:30,995 --> 01:44:34,761
No. That's great. I love to cut hair.
1535
01:44:34,933 --> 01:44:36,593
There is nothing wrong with that.
1536
01:44:36,768 --> 01:44:38,098
- Tell my parents.
- I hear you.
1537
01:44:38,270 --> 01:44:41,170
- They don't understand.
- Parents, they never do, huh!
1538
01:44:41,339 --> 01:44:44,705
- Never do. They think they're clever...
- You guys going, or what!
1539
01:44:45,243 --> 01:44:47,073
- Yes. Okay, we go.
- Yes. We go.
1540
01:44:47,245 --> 01:44:48,575
Come on, let's go.
1541
01:44:48,747 --> 01:44:50,441
Soup's on, boys.
1542
01:44:50,614 --> 01:44:52,444
Hell, yeah!
1543
01:44:57,354 --> 01:44:58,752
What kind of shoes you like!
1544
01:44:58,922 --> 01:45:01,617
You know, Rockport, Ferragamo,
the classics.
1545
01:45:07,098 --> 01:45:10,122
You should maybe try
Hugo Boss, huh!
1546
01:45:10,301 --> 01:45:12,427
No, no, no.
They always cover the toes.
1547
01:45:12,602 --> 01:45:14,626
You stylist,
you buy some style shoes.
1548
01:45:14,804 --> 01:45:17,967
Oh, yes, but I'm looking
for function too.
1549
01:45:18,141 --> 01:45:21,132
Try mine. It's Kenneth Cole.
1550
01:45:21,312 --> 01:45:23,244
Square toe.
1551
01:45:24,547 --> 01:45:25,673
It is nice.
1552
01:45:25,849 --> 01:45:28,078
This is a fashion
but you can wear to work also.
1553
01:45:29,285 --> 01:45:31,445
Yes. Hey, to be honest,
it's a little tight.
1554
01:45:31,621 --> 01:45:34,749
- Let me measure.
- If you could.
1555
01:45:34,924 --> 01:45:36,948
I'm ready for you.
1556
01:45:37,126 --> 01:45:39,320
Okay, checking the width.
1557
01:45:39,495 --> 01:45:41,428
Triple E.
1558
01:45:41,597 --> 01:45:43,029
This is a big foot, huh!
1559
01:45:43,199 --> 01:45:44,324
You win again.
1560
01:45:44,500 --> 01:45:46,626
Is not a competition.
1561
01:45:46,803 --> 01:45:48,793
I do need to cut my nails.
1562
01:45:48,971 --> 01:45:50,870
We don't know
what set off this fight.
1563
01:45:51,040 --> 01:45:53,735
It's apparently between
Middle-Eastern merchants.
1564
01:45:53,909 --> 01:45:57,366
- Let's get some insight.
- They is no Middle East. Is all fake.
1565
01:45:57,546 --> 01:46:00,343
Is the landlord, the Walbridge guy.
He pay...
1566
01:46:00,515 --> 01:46:03,005
Excuse me.
Grant Walbridge, the developer?
1567
01:46:03,186 --> 01:46:04,276
Damn it!
1568
01:46:04,453 --> 01:46:07,615
Mariah Carey, I love you. I love you.
1569
01:46:07,789 --> 01:46:11,121
I find you, Mariah.
I come to where you are.
1570
01:46:11,293 --> 01:46:14,693
I love you too, horny little man.
Buy my new album.
1571
01:46:19,633 --> 01:46:21,759
Zohan. He has a bomb.
1572
01:46:23,604 --> 01:46:25,935
- And puppies.
- No.
1573
01:46:26,108 --> 01:46:27,596
I'm gonna blow up this block.
1574
01:46:27,775 --> 01:46:31,040
I'm gonna blow you up,
I'm gonna blow up these puppies...
1575
01:46:31,213 --> 01:46:34,613
...and we all going to hell together,
because I hate these puppies.
1576
01:46:34,783 --> 01:46:37,841
We have no time. We have to make
the sonic power, quick.
1577
01:46:38,017 --> 01:46:40,986
- You mean the sound!
- Yes.
1578
01:46:41,155 --> 01:46:45,454
But Arab and Jews have not made
sound for thousands of years.
1579
01:46:45,626 --> 01:46:48,491
- Now is time, my friend.
- Thirty seconds.
1580
01:46:48,661 --> 01:46:52,994
You can't do nothing about it,
Rabbi Towelhead.
1581
01:46:57,972 --> 01:47:00,439
No, no, no. Let me take the melody,
you go harmony.
1582
01:47:00,607 --> 01:47:02,471
- Yes. Okay, okay.
- Here we go.
1583
01:47:28,902 --> 01:47:31,869
Well, hello, stranger.
1584
01:47:32,037 --> 01:47:34,095
Care for some chips!
1585
01:47:36,208 --> 01:47:37,607
Puppies!
1586
01:47:37,777 --> 01:47:40,869
That dog is incredibly cute.
Did you bring that dog!
1587
01:47:41,046 --> 01:47:42,740
Barry Manilow
used to have a beagle...
1588
01:47:47,853 --> 01:47:52,289
Listen, I'm Grant Walbridge.
This is all a mistake and...
1589
01:47:58,197 --> 01:48:00,060
Keep it together. Keep it together.
1590
01:48:04,602 --> 01:48:06,626
No!
1591
01:48:08,005 --> 01:48:10,131
My life is ruined.
1592
01:48:10,307 --> 01:48:11,797
They were perfect.
1593
01:48:11,976 --> 01:48:13,602
The ratio.
1594
01:48:13,778 --> 01:48:15,039
Why!
1595
01:48:17,748 --> 01:48:19,408
No, no, no. Stop.
1596
01:48:22,787 --> 01:48:26,222
What the heck are you doing!
Why you do this!
1597
01:48:26,389 --> 01:48:29,755
Sorry. Sorry. I got excited.
1598
01:48:29,926 --> 01:48:33,019
Okay, we fix.
We make mall, but this...
1599
01:48:33,196 --> 01:48:36,653
It's fine. Yes, it's fine.
We'll be fine.
1600
01:48:36,833 --> 01:48:38,959
It's all b'seder.
1601
01:48:50,447 --> 01:48:53,676
Goat rides! Everybody, goat ride.
1602
01:48:53,849 --> 01:48:56,339
The most wonderful goat
in the world.
1603
01:49:00,489 --> 01:49:03,458
You come. Come, come. Come on.
Come on, now. Give ride.
1604
01:49:09,865 --> 01:49:12,196
I'm almost done.
1605
01:49:12,368 --> 01:49:14,858
- I love it.
- Yes, of course you do.
1606
01:49:15,036 --> 01:49:16,936
I had fun shampooing your hair...
1607
01:49:17,105 --> 01:49:20,302
...but I'd rather be licking it off
those melons.
1608
01:49:20,676 --> 01:49:22,199
I knew he had it in him.
1609
01:49:22,378 --> 01:49:25,505
Yeah, he sounds like his mother.
1610
01:49:25,680 --> 01:49:28,547
Maybe I'll bleach your nipples
and slap you in your face.
1611
01:49:28,717 --> 01:49:31,879
- Oh, now he's gone too far.
- That was disturbing. Too much.
1612
01:49:32,053 --> 01:49:34,748
Zohan!
Can you help this woman, please.
1613
01:49:34,923 --> 01:49:37,584
Of course, motek.
You know, if I was not married to you...
1614
01:49:37,759 --> 01:49:41,194
...this is the kind of bootachem
I would go all night long w...
1615
01:49:41,362 --> 01:49:42,988
Hello, Zohan.
1616
01:49:45,033 --> 01:49:48,024
So this is where you work!
1617
01:49:50,104 --> 01:49:52,071
Yes, Abba.
1618
01:49:52,239 --> 01:49:55,901
And this is your Palestinian wife!
1619
01:49:57,912 --> 01:49:59,400
Yes, Abba.
1620
01:50:01,248 --> 01:50:03,010
Does she know you're a fagala?
1621
01:50:05,185 --> 01:50:06,583
I see. This is because...
1622
01:50:06,753 --> 01:50:08,550
Congratulations.
1623
01:50:08,722 --> 01:50:10,417
Now, cut my hair.
1624
01:50:10,592 --> 01:50:12,855
Yes. Yes. Yes.
1625
01:50:13,026 --> 01:50:16,905
I love it.
Please.
122472