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1
00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:03,602
[rain splashing]
2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:06,138
[thunder rumbling]
3
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,240
- Michael asleep?
- Finally.
4
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,408
Tried everything.
5
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:10,743
I read to him.
I rocked him.
6
00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:13,012
He kept looking at me like,
"is that's all you got?
7
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:14,513
Is that it?"
8
00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:18,217
- The blue jays and the yankees
meet tonight...
9
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:21,420
- Oh, espn.
Nothing quite like it.
10
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,655
Nothing even comes close.
11
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:26,358
Well, espn2.
12
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,527
- You know, ray,
could you at least look at me
13
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,164
Before you settle in
for three hours of television?
14
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:35,234
- I looked at you
when I came in.
15
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,136
- ...With a win over the angels.
16
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:39,438
[tv static]
- hey.
17
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,373
- Ha, ha, ha!
18
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,308
- What's going on?
- Yeah, there you go.
19
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:46,812
- Oh, no.
Come on.
20
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:49,348
Come on.
I can't believe this.
21
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:51,550
- Look, try pressing
the on/off button,
22
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,619
And tapping the cable box
with the remote.
23
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,590
Now hit the back of the set.
24
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:03,228
Now rub the sides
with your hands.
25
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:08,567
A little harder.
26
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,570
Getting excited, huh?
[chuckles]
27
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,838
- Oh, you're funny.
28
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,606
You're very funny.
Yeah, you're funny.
29
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,341
You're jealous;
that's what you are.
30
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:17,609
Come on.
What's going on?
31
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,545
I hate this cable company.
- Oh, come on, ray.
32
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:21,814
It's just television.
It's not the end of the world.
33
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:25,717
- Your tv's out too.
34
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,686
Sweet mother of god!
35
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,359
[thunder rumbling]
36
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:39,832
- Oh, come on, ray.
37
00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:41,133
You're just going
to sit here
38
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:42,568
And wait for the cable
to come back on?
39
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:43,735
- Well, how long
can it be out for?
40
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,170
I mean, this is crazy.
41
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:47,272
- It's only been two minutes.
42
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,842
If your finger was
stuck in a car door,
43
00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:51,610
Would you say it's only been
two minutes? No.
44
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,779
- What?
45
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,781
- I like tv.
46
00:01:58,318 --> 00:01:59,451
- Look.
47
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,553
Why don't we just
sit and talk, hmm?
48
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,523
- Why?
What's wrong?
49
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,624
- Nothing's wrong.
50
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,259
When was the last time
51
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,294
That you and I just
sat here and talked?
52
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:12,431
- The last time
that something was wrong.
53
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,500
- All right,
just forget it.
54
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,268
- Look, debra, you know,
I work all day.
55
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,803
And when I come home,
I just--I want to relax.
56
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,272
- And talking to me
isn't relaxing, huh?
57
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:29,281
- [exhales deeply]
58
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,183
Okay, we'll talk.
59
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,418
- Good.
60
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,521
[clears throat]
61
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:36,788
So go ahead.
62
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,824
- No, no, no, no.
- What? What?
63
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,159
- See, that's what
you always do.
64
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:41,426
You always say,
"hey, let's talk,"
65
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:42,895
And then
you throw it to me.
66
00:02:42,897 --> 00:02:44,530
No, you say,
"let's talk,"
67
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:46,632
Then you should have
topics ready.
68
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:51,170
I'm not good--I'm not good
when I'm just expected to talk.
69
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:53,472
- "expected to talk"?
- Yeah, yeah.
70
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:56,308
I'm good with regular talk,
you know, like, uh,
71
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:59,278
"these pants are itchy"
72
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,879
Or "hey, get down from there,"
those things.
73
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,481
But I'm just--
but this--
74
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:05,250
- So talking to me is what
you have the problem with.
75
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,619
- No.
I love talking to you.
76
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:10,856
Come on. I'd rather talk to you
than do anything.
77
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,460
Hey, you know what
we could do--
78
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,296
- What--uh-oh.
Ha! No, no.
79
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,430
I don't think so.
80
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:19,431
- I think so.
81
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,366
- No.
- Why?
82
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,367
- Because it's--
83
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,402
- It's what?
84
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,603
It's a man and a woman
85
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,839
Just showing their love
for one another.
86
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:30,542
Maybe even showing it
downstairs this time.
87
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,244
- Yeah.
88
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,745
Ray, I'm not
having sex with you
89
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:37,349
Just because the cable's out.
90
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:40,686
- That's not just why.
91
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,254
I meant to tell you.
92
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:46,258
I wanted to when I came in,
remember?
93
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,760
Come on; you remember.
When I looked at you.
94
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,364
- All right, all right.
I'll tell you what.
95
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,800
When the cable
comes back on,
96
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:57,502
I will be happy
to show my love for you.
97
00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:00,405
- All right.
98
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,807
All right, you--
99
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,575
When that cable comes back on,
you got a deal.
100
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:04,977
- All right.
101
00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:08,981
- But I'll be thinking of you.
102
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:15,287
Michael still up?
- Yeah.
103
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,489
He's going to be a mess
tomorrow.
104
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:20,392
- Yeah, well,
what does he have tomorrow?
105
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:23,862
Let's see: I've got a crayon
up my nose at 11:00,
106
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,497
And at 1:30,
geoffrey and I
107
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,932
Are going to run
around the house naked,
108
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:30,569
Yelling
"ladle, ladle, ladle."
109
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,271
[knock on door]
110
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,605
- [grunting]
111
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:34,673
You got tv yet?
112
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,541
- No. You?
113
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,277
- I can't stand it.
114
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:42,547
I got nothing to live for
over there.
115
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:44,016
- He's driving me crazy.
116
00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:45,684
It's like someone went
into the ape cage
117
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:48,687
And took out the tire swing.
118
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,522
Why can't we just
talk to each other?
119
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,357
- That's exactly
what I've been saying.
120
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,993
- We haven't had a conversation
in 35 years.
121
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:58,030
- I didn't want to interrupt.
122
00:04:58,032 --> 00:05:00,332
- Hey, did you call
the cable company?
123
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,501
- Didn't you?
124
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,605
You look up the number.
I'll get the phone ready.
125
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,373
- Get the phone ready?
126
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,541
- Give me, give me, give me.
- Here, here.
127
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:10,742
Come on. Come on.
Come on.
128
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,712
Look, if it's busy,
dial 911.
129
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,080
- Hello.
Yeah, hi.
130
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:17,582
Uh, our cable's out.
131
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:19,618
320 fowler.
132
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,952
Really?
Oh, god.
133
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:21,953
- What?
What?
134
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:22,954
- They didn't know about it.
135
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:23,955
- They didn't know
about it!
136
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,625
- Deep breaths, frank.
137
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:27,693
- Okay, all right,
thanks. Yeah.
138
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,027
Hey, hey, hurry.
139
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:32,664
- Hey.
140
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,399
Cable's out.
141
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:37,869
- It's in the bible.
Next comes locusts.
142
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,571
- I'll tell you,
143
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,573
It's a cop's worst nightmare.
144
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:45,610
Cable goes out,
people get edgy.
145
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,913
Thank god
this isn't the summer.
146
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,815
You take away a man's tv
during the heat wave,
147
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,350
Well, you might as well
pack up the canned goods
148
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:54,119
And just head
for the basement.
149
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,887
So who wants to rent
a movie tonight?
150
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,389
- Oh.
151
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:58,990
- Yeah, that's not
a bad idea.
152
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,526
It's not tv, but at least
you got the tv going.
153
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,395
- There you go.
154
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:05,764
- You know what I wouldn't mind
seeing again?
155
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,833
"beaches."
156
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,434
- I would mind that.
157
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,837
I would mind that
very much.
158
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,506
- Okay. So forget about
the movie.
159
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:16,508
Let's do something else.
160
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,410
Ooh!
Let's play a game.
161
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:19,611
- Oh, yeah!
162
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,413
- Hey, I'd be up for that.
- A game?
163
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,648
- Yeah, that's
a very good idea, marie.
164
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:24,750
I mean, it's about time
we did something together
165
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,752
As a family for once.
166
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:27,986
- Come on, debra.
167
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,755
You really want to play, like,
a board game?
168
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,790
- I don't like games.
169
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,925
Follow the rules.
Pay attention.
170
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:37,062
Wait your turn.
171
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:40,766
It's just like work
dressed up like play.
172
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,834
- Come on, ray.
I really want to do this.
173
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:43,902
- Or you know what?
174
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,104
We could just sit and talk.
175
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:48,073
- Let's play a game.
176
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,975
- Okay, what does everybody
want to play?
177
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,410
- Well, how about scruples?
178
00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:53,578
- No, we don't have
that one, robert.
179
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:57,015
- I gave it to you
for christmas two years ago.
180
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:59,484
- Oh, yes.
Scruples!
181
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:00,786
Here it is.
Remember this, ray?
182
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,053
- Yeah, the one in--
the box.
183
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,523
- Yeah.
184
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,925
Yeah, let's play this.
We love this.
185
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,961
- The shrink wrap
is still on it.
186
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,696
"oh, gee, thanks, robert.
187
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:13,131
Thanks for the gift.
You have such great taste."
188
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,533
You can't even take off
the shrink wrap
189
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:15,634
To play one of the games...
190
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,736
- All right, calm down.
Come on, robert.
191
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:22,174
- No, no.
I'm fine.
192
00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:25,877
Let's just play, shall we?
193
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,712
Okay.
194
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,051
- "give each player
five red cards."
195
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,820
- What are you doing?
196
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,588
- I'm reading the rules.
197
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,223
- Just play!
198
00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:44,229
- "give each player
five red cards.
199
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,665
"each red card has
a moral question on it.
200
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,800
"for example,
'you are hungry and broke.
201
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:49,968
Do you steal food?'"
202
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,937
- "your family
wants to play a game.
203
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:54,840
Do you set yourself on fire
to get out of it?"
204
00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:59,845
- "give each player a blue card
with a yes-or-no answer."
205
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,146
- Okay, let me do that,
'cause I'm good at cards.
206
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:04,950
"take turns posing a question
to another player."
207
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:08,553
"if another player's answer
matches your answer card,
208
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:11,590
"then you get to discard
that question.
209
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,558
The object of the game
is to discard all of--"
210
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:14,759
Dad, will you stop?
211
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:15,961
- Can we just start the game?
212
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,596
Let's play;
that's all.
213
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,097
- No, but there's more rules.
- You know what?
214
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:22,133
We'll just learn as we play,
robert, okay?
215
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:24,736
- All right.
- Okay. All right.
216
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,238
Marie, my question's for you.
217
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:27,906
- Great.
See, this is fun.
218
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,674
- Yeah, all right.
219
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,110
"you were a famous
movie star in the 1950s."
220
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,012
- Whoo.
221
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,181
- "but now you are
strapped for cash.
222
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,782
"you are invited to endorse
223
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:42,854
"a diaper for bladder control
on tv.
224
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,856
Do you?"
225
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,192
- [laughs]
226
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,266
- Why do you ask me
that question?
227
00:08:54,268 --> 00:08:55,800
You think
I have that problem?
228
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:58,303
- What?
No. I--I just--
229
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,672
- You think I'm old?
- No, no.
230
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,541
- Oh, I need a match
and a cup of gasoline
231
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,209
Right now.
232
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,911
- I'm not--I'm not
answering you, debra.
233
00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,212
- Will you--
ma, come on.
234
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,680
You're the one who wanted
to play this game.
235
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:12,183
- This isn't play.
This is a personal attack.
236
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:15,787
- Yeah, a question
about my old bladder.
237
00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:20,659
Not only would she
take the money;
238
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,561
She'd model the damn things.
239
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:25,897
- Oh, I certainly
would not.
240
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:29,100
- You know, I'd endorse
the product if I used it myself.
241
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,835
- All right, could we ask
another question?
242
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:32,804
'cause I got to knock
the last couple of images
243
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,773
Out of my head.
244
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,809
- Listen, if--if you used them,
you'd admit to it?
245
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,611
- It's the right thing
to do.
246
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:42,714
- Ooh, all of a sudden,
you have scruples.
247
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,683
- I got scruples, marie.
248
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:47,152
I got scruples
the size of basketballs.
249
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,753
- Aw!
250
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,824
- What answer card
did you have, debra?
251
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:55,260
- Well, I had a "yes" card,
so I guess I lose.
252
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,928
- That's right; you lose.
253
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,965
You have to get another card.
That's what you get.
254
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,800
[baby cries on monitor]
255
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,635
- Oh, ray, look,
he's up again.
256
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:05,070
Could you go check on him?
- Yeah.
257
00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:07,138
- I'll go.
- No, dad, I want to go.
258
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,774
- I'm going!
259
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,076
- Argh!
260
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,711
- Okay, it's my turn.
261
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:15,614
Oh, this question.
262
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:18,249
This question's for raymond.
263
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:21,086
"someone has taken your umbrella
out of the cloakroom.
264
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,287
"it's a rainy day,
265
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,822
"and there's another one
sitting there.
266
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:26,691
Do you take it?"
267
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:27,993
- No. No. No.
268
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:30,061
I would not take
someone's umbrella, no.
269
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:33,031
- I wish to challenge you.
270
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,165
- Challenge?
271
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,367
- Yeah, that's right, challenge.
272
00:10:35,369 --> 00:10:36,167
It's right here
in the rules--
273
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,669
Oh, that's right,
274
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,270
You didn't want
to hear the rules.
275
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:42,641
Challenge.
276
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,809
I get 20 seconds
to convince everybody
277
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,111
That you're not
telling the truth,
278
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:48,179
And then you get 20 seconds
to lie some more,
279
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:51,650
And then we vote.
280
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,885
- Why would I lie?
281
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:56,421
- Ha! Why would you lie?
282
00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:00,392
I recall a rainy day.
283
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,294
1967.
284
00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:08,733
I was on my way to school,
and mom yelled,
285
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:12,437
"robbie, don't forget
your rubber boots."
286
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:17,375
But those boots
were nowhere to be found.
287
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,044
You know why, raymond?
288
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,879
- I didn't touch your boots.
289
00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:21,913
- When I showed up to school,
290
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,149
The kids called me
"sasquish."
291
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:30,021
Because of your thievery,
I was humiliated,
292
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,990
Victimized.
293
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:33,992
I vowed
that from that day forward,
294
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:37,729
I would do whatever I had to do
to fight crime.
295
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:41,866
And so today
I am a police officer.
296
00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:46,738
Okay,
now you have 20 seconds.
297
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:54,279
- I did not take
your rubber boots, robert.
298
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:57,916
That's it.
299
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,051
That's all.
I'm done, rob. I'm--
300
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,453
- Time.
301
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:05,056
Shall we vote?
Hmm?
302
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,992
Everyone who agrees with me
that raymond the boot thief
303
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:11,730
Would take someone's umbrella,
please raise your hand.
304
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,198
Mom? Mom?
305
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,367
- No, I can't--I can't vote
against one of my sons.
306
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:19,804
- Okay, taking raymond's side.
That's typical.
307
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,973
- What are you doing?
308
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,074
- Thank you, debra.
309
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,776
- What is this?
- What? Come on, ray.
310
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,045
You didn't make
much of an argument.
311
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:29,514
- Why would I lie
about taking his galoshes?
312
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:32,417
- Well, you lied about how much
you love talking to me.
313
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:36,121
- Well, I'm not crazy about it
right now either.
314
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,789
[baby crying]
315
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,524
- Oh, I think
frank needs some help.
316
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:42,193
- That kid's got
an attitude problem.
317
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,795
- What did you do, frank?
318
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,163
- Well, nothing.
319
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,432
I just did a little
peek-a-boo with him.
320
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:48,399
Peek-a-boo!
321
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:52,203
- I remember that.
322
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:55,440
- Yeah, me too.
Me too.
323
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:56,975
Don't do that.
324
00:12:58,778 --> 00:12:59,811
- All right.
325
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,513
What's happening
with the game?
326
00:13:01,515 --> 00:13:03,414
- Oh, we caught ray lying.
327
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,116
- Oh, come on.
I didn't lie.
328
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,351
- Remember when
he took my boots?
329
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,787
- Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's right.
330
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,555
Cheaters never prosper.
331
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,056
[laughs]
332
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,425
Hey, this ain't
such a bad game after all.
333
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,094
- So now you're glad we played?
334
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:19,397
- Yes, because not only does
this game teach moral values,
335
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,000
It brings families together.
336
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,935
That's what's happening here.
337
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,970
And what can be
more important than that?
338
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,305
[static on tv]
339
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,239
- Hey, hey,
we got something.
340
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,240
- Get out of the way!
341
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,441
- We got something.
342
00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,110
- Holy crap!
Come on, baby!
343
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,845
Come on!
Come on!
344
00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:36,881
- "barnaby jones."
"barnaby jones."
345
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:39,250
[static stops]
- oh!
346
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,288
- All right.
347
00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,123
Whose freakin' turn is it?
348
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,357
[thunder rumbles]
349
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,332
- You cable people stink!
350
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,567
And I'll tell you
something else.
351
00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:57,101
However long
the cable is out,
352
00:13:57,103 --> 00:14:02,307
I'm going to take
twice that much off my bill.
353
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:06,010
You lousy crooks!
354
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:09,914
That was the first nice lady
I've spoken to up there.
355
00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:15,253
- I think michael's
finally asleep.
356
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:16,321
Whose turn is it?
Come on.
357
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:17,989
- It's mine.
358
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:19,390
All right.
359
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,394
This question is for ray.
360
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,430
- Sure it is.
361
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:28,333
- "your elderly mother
lives all by herself
362
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:30,869
"and asks if she
can move in with you.
363
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,203
Do you agree?"
364
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:38,476
- Um...
365
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:40,445
What?
366
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:43,514
- "your elderly mother lives
all by herself and asks
367
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,116
"if she can move in with you.
368
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:45,984
Do you agree?"
369
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,454
- Wait a minute.
Let me see that card.
370
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:50,421
- No, no, frank.
Stop!
371
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:51,990
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
372
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,058
- Wait, frank, come on! No!
Robbie, stop it.
373
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,594
Robbie, don't do--
no! Ray, come on. Oh!
374
00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:59,230
No--ray--
375
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:03,001
- "a coworker has bad breath.
Do you tell her?"
376
00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:05,670
- Marie.
377
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:08,273
- You made up a question?
378
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,276
- Oh, now we know where raymond
gets his dishonesty.
379
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:16,281
- Am I the only one
with principles?
380
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:19,417
- Just answer the question.
Would you take me in?
381
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,319
- I'm--I'm not answering
that question.
382
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,554
It's an unofficial question, ma.
383
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,623
- I'm all alone.
Where do I go?
384
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,158
- Wait a minute.
What happened to me?
385
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,394
- You passed away.
386
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:32,430
- What? I died?
How did I die?
387
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,432
- We'll see.
388
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,368
The man always dies first.
That's just a fact.
389
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:40,305
So do you take me in?
390
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,173
- You know, marie, I don't think
this is really the time,
391
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,174
Right, ray?
392
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:44,442
- What about me?
393
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,077
- What about you, dear?
394
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,712
- Well, why can't you live
with me when dad dies?
395
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,648
- Excuse me,
I'm still here!
396
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:53,985
I'm still in the room!
397
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:55,586
- This is hypothetical,
robbie.
398
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:56,955
For this question,
399
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,289
Let's just say
I only have one son.
400
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,125
- Well, what else is new?
401
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,593
- So what would you do?
402
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,063
- All right, ma,
you can come live with us, okay?
403
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,364
Can you stop this now?
404
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,132
- Yeah, that's the answer
I wanted to hear.
405
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,734
Thanks, dear.
406
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,303
Okay, let's go on
with the game.
407
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,539
- Maybe it's not that I died.
408
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:20,678
Maybe I just sort of took off
and bought a boat and--
409
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,147
And now I'm sailing...
410
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,350
With your bridge partner
harriet lichtman.
411
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,018
- What?
412
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,754
- Ah, the sea air
is so invigorating.
413
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:34,659
Ah, harriet.
Ooh.
414
00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:39,297
- Ray.
415
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:40,765
How can you tell your mother
416
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,633
That she could
move in here with us?
417
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,502
- Well, that was just so
we could keep playing the game.
418
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,503
That's all.
419
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,372
This great game.
420
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,574
- Ray, she's going
to take it seriously.
421
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:52,310
How can you just make
such a decision by yourself?
422
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,746
- There was no decision there.
I was answering a question.
423
00:16:54,748 --> 00:16:57,215
- I know you don't like
talking to me, ray,
424
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,783
But I thought that at least
we would discuss it
425
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:01,319
When this situation came up.
426
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,054
God!
427
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,793
- So you're not crazy
about her moving in. Okay.
428
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,328
- I'm not talking to you.
429
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,563
- For the love of mike,
I-I was just kidding!
430
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:15,299
- Oh, there's a reason
you included harriet lichtman
431
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:16,601
In your sick fantasy.
432
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,202
- Yes.
To get you mad.
433
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:21,205
- Well, I may be moving in
sooner than I planned.
434
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,041
[baby cries]
435
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,743
- Oh, he's awake again.
436
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,445
- Hey, debra,
you mind if I go upstairs
437
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:28,746
And try to calm him down?
438
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,681
- Yeah, sure, robert.
- Thanks.
439
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:32,183
There's a lot of tension
down here.
440
00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:37,789
- All right,
let's get this over with.
441
00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,358
- Debra,
442
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,360
"while your mate
is off snorkeling,
443
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:46,130
"you're relaxing
in the resort hot tub.
444
00:17:46,132 --> 00:17:49,634
"a sexy stranger starts
playing footsie with you.
445
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:52,103
Do you withdraw your foot?"
446
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,538
- Ooh.
[laughs]
447
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:54,705
Yes, of course.
448
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:58,476
- What the hell was that?
449
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,411
- What?
450
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,713
- What was that--that pause
before you answered?
451
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:03,648
- I didn't pause.
452
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,183
- Yes, you did.
453
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,217
Yeah, you--
you went like this--
454
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,853
You went, "hmm, ooh."
455
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:10,855
What was that?
456
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:14,225
- Ray, if I paused, it was just
to picture you snorkeling.
457
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:16,427
- Oh, you know,
you--you're so obvious.
458
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,229
You're just mad at me
because of the other thing.
459
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,131
- What other thing?
460
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:21,532
- Nothing, nothing.
461
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,568
- You moving in.
462
00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:29,640
- Is--is that why debra
followed you in the kitchen?
463
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:30,708
To yell at you?
464
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,678
- No.
465
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,215
- Talk about pauses.
[laughs]
466
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,449
- Ray.
467
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,584
- All right,
I'll take a lighter
468
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,786
And a can of hair spray.
469
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,421
- Debra, what did you say
to him in there?
470
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,456
- It was ray!
Ray's the one that said it.
471
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,191
- All right, I'm not saying
anything anymore, okay?
472
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:50,294
- Well, when your mother
showed up--
473
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,796
- Hey, you had a problem
with my mother?
474
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:52,797
- A horrible woman.
475
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:53,831
- That woman was a saint!
476
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,233
- You let her move in
477
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,634
Without even discussing it
with me.
478
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,703
- [robert singing]
inchworm
479
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,838
Inchworm
480
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:06,310
Measuring the marigolds
481
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:10,414
You and your arithmetic
482
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:14,685
You'll certainly go far
483
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:19,357
Inchworm, inchworm
484
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:24,395
Measuring the marigolds
485
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:29,300
Seems to me
you'd stop and see
486
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:32,870
How beautiful they are
487
00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:51,189
- You know who used to sing you
to sleep with that song?
488
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:55,326
My mother!
- Oh, a horrible woman!
489
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,494
- Oh, come on,
why do you start?
490
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:57,728
- She was a saint!
491
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,197
- I didn't like her,
but I still took her in,
492
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,265
Not like some people.
493
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,534
- Marie, I like you.
Damn it, I like you!
494
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,870
- Please, huh?
Can't we play quietly?
495
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,738
I just put the kid to bed.
496
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:13,244
- I don't want to play
with this group.
497
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,845
I've seen too much here tonight.
498
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,414
- What are you talking about?
499
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,815
- You lied.
You made up questions.
500
00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:21,786
The game is called scruples,
marie, scruples!
501
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:22,787
- You raymond barone?
502
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:23,988
- Yeah, yeah.
503
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:24,989
- I'm from lynbrook cable.
504
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:27,692
- Oh, ho, ho!
Finally!
505
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,827
Oh, god, this is great.
506
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:33,731
- Oh, it's not great for you.
507
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,733
You got an illegal
cable splitter on your roof.
508
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,435
- I do?
509
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:39,537
- You didn't know nothing
about it, right?
510
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:40,972
Oh, and it's
a real cheap one.
511
00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:42,907
That's why your cable service
went out.
512
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,976
- Ray, I'm surprised at you.
513
00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:46,010
- What did you do, ray?
514
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:47,445
- I didn't do anything.
515
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,313
I don't even know
what a splitter is.
516
00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:51,482
- It splits your signal,
and it sends it somewhere else--
517
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:52,583
And in this case,
518
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,386
Right across the street
to that house.
519
00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,258
- Where are you going?
520
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,994
- Oh, I was just going
to get some cocoa.
521
00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:05,029
- You've been stealing cable?
522
00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:07,298
- You're stealing cable
from your own son?
523
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:08,699
- Sharing.
524
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:11,502
- Hey, look, you seem like
you're a real nice family.
525
00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,704
I'm sure you're going
to work this all out.
526
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:15,740
But right now,
you're looking at a $2,500 fine.
527
00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,441
- [gasps]
528
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,343
- Have a good evening.
529
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,913
- Hey, hey, hey,
wait a minute, pal.
530
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:25,983
It was an honest mistake.
Maybe I can make it right.
531
00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:36,427
Don't look at me like that.
532
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:37,862
You cannot judge me
533
00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:40,464
Until you've walked
in my shoes.
534
00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:44,435
- That brings up
an interesting point, dad.
535
00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:46,304
What size shoes would those be?
536
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:48,539
About a 12, right?
537
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,408
- So what?
538
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:55,546
- Robert, when you were 11,
539
00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:59,050
What size galoshes
did you wear?
540
00:21:59,052 --> 00:22:00,084
- 12.
541
00:22:06,958 --> 00:22:08,693
- No more games!
542
00:22:12,097 --> 00:22:13,631
- Don't worry.
543
00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:14,632
When I move in here,
544
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:16,467
We'll play games
all the time.
545
00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:27,745
- Okay, ray, now that
the cable's back,
546
00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:29,413
I'm going to go upstairs
and go to sleep.
547
00:22:29,415 --> 00:22:30,614
- All right.
548
00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:34,885
- Unless you want to collect
on our deal.
549
00:22:40,625 --> 00:22:42,426
- Commercial!
550
00:22:42,428 --> 00:22:45,429
[thudding footsteps]
38293
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