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1
00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:09,208
- What are you doing?
2
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,409
- Oh, I'm emptying
the dishwasher.
3
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:11,610
I got that game tonight.
4
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,278
I didn't want to leave you
with everything.
5
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,447
- Aw, honey, that's sweet.
6
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:18,050
These are all dirty.
7
00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:19,718
Thanks for trying.
- All right.
8
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,087
- Yeah.
Go, have a good time.
9
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:26,291
- Aw, why did you
have to go say that?
10
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:27,760
- All I said was,
"have a good time."
11
00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:29,294
- Yeah, "have a good time."
12
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:30,662
You don't think I know
what that means?
13
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,731
I know wh--
I have to go to my game tonight.
14
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,700
- Yes, I understand.
15
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:38,604
- Oh, you are relentless!
16
00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:39,738
What, you think
I want to go?
17
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,441
I want to stay home with you,
you and the kids.
18
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:43,675
Last thing I want to do
19
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:45,611
Is go to an elementary school
gym tonight.
20
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:47,112
- Opening the paint.
21
00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,547
- Oh, he sees zone.
22
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,582
Forget the pick, lady.
23
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:53,285
Barone, barone!
24
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,421
- Don't bring that trash
in here.
25
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,656
Oh, you should know
better than that.
26
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:58,657
I don't even have to jump.
27
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,325
[both talking]
28
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:01,827
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:04,797
Honey, I'll be home
as soon as I can.
30
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,636
Hi, I'm ray,
31
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:13,505
And I live here in long island
with my wife, debra.
32
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:17,142
She's great with the kids,
the house, everything.
33
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:18,544
Oh, I don't know
how she does it.
34
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,412
We've got a daughter, ally,
35
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:24,183
And twin two-year-old boys.
36
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:26,251
It's not really
about the kids.
37
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,787
My parents live
across the street.
38
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,789
That's right.
39
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:33,559
And my brother lives with them.
40
00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:35,661
Now, not every family
would go by
41
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,296
On a conveyer belt for you,
42
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:38,730
But mine would, because--
43
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,799
- Everybody loves raymond.
44
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:43,102
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45
00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:51,110
- [men grumbling]
46
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,144
- They're killing us.
47
00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:53,312
Where's the escape hatch?
48
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:54,513
- I just don't know.
49
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,682
- It's like playing
the globetrotters.
50
00:01:56,684 --> 00:02:00,219
I'm waiting for meadowlark
to pull my pants down.
51
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,286
- Hey, guys.
Come on. Come on.
52
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,287
Hey, uh, no drinks.
53
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,655
Let's go. Come on.
Sit down.
54
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,257
Why don't we--come on.
Grab some pine. Come on.
55
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:09,261
Shake it up!
Come on!
56
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:12,731
You guys blow.
57
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:16,435
How could we be losing
to bed bath & beyond?
58
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:22,474
They shouldn't even be
in the pizza league!
59
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,909
I'll tell you, if we don't
pick it up in the second half,
60
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,911
It's arrivederci, play-offs.
61
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,913
- Hey, kevin, know
what I'd love to try once?
62
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:30,682
Getting into a game.
63
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,384
- Hey, you know
what we got to do, kevin?
64
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:33,652
We got to go to a zone.
65
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,821
- No, no, no, no.
66
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,656
- Kevin, you'll like
the zone.
67
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,791
You will not have to run, hmm?
68
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:42,694
- No, no zone.
No zone.
69
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,663
As long as I'm nemo's captain,
what I say goes.
70
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,499
- That's right.
He's right.
71
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,268
We need a new captain.
Who wants the job?
72
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,303
Hey, I do!
73
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,906
[all arguing]
74
00:02:53,908 --> 00:02:55,641
- All right!
Fine, fine.
75
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,509
Good luck finding someone
with my leadership abilities,
76
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,344
My patience, my people skills,
77
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:02,648
You candy-ass morons.
78
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:05,584
- Hey, how about ray
as captain?
79
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:09,621
- Yeah, ray, ray, raygella.
Sure.
80
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,957
- All right, sure, sure.
Hey, I'll do it.
81
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:12,925
I'd like
to give it a shot.
82
00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:14,526
I think I can do it.
83
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,362
Why don't we open it up
to a little discussion?
84
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,298
- Okay, how about robert?
85
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,633
- Yes, robert!
He's tall!
86
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,535
- Hold on.
What about discussing it?
87
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,237
- You--you guys
really want me?
88
00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:26,271
- Sure, you're tall!
89
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:28,674
Look how friggin' tall
you are!
90
00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:30,742
- So robert it is.
91
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,579
- Robert, you sure
you're up to this?
92
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,214
'cause I--you know,
I'll do it.
93
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:36,381
If you don't want to,
I'll do it.
94
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,818
- Come on, ray.
Share his joy.
95
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,955
- All right,
no, robert's one way to go
96
00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:45,390
If you want to go with robert.
97
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,492
Obviously, we all want
to go with robert, okay.
98
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,228
[buzzer buzzes]
99
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,562
- Second half.
What's the line-up, captain?
100
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,764
All:
Robert! Robert! Robert!
101
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,866
Robert! Robert! Robert!
102
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,869
- All right, all right,
all right, okay!
103
00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,738
Starting the second half,
104
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:05,677
It's going to be me,
you, you, you--
105
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:06,712
And you.
106
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:09,448
Let's go.
All right!
107
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:10,949
- Ho, whoa, what about me?
I'm not starting?
108
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:13,385
How could I not start
the second half?
109
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:16,622
- I don't want to be accused
of nepotism.
110
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,690
Catch the fever!
111
00:04:21,861 --> 00:04:23,462
- Oh, okay.
112
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:24,463
- Hi.
113
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:25,864
- Listen, ray just got home.
114
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,332
Yeah, that'll be great, shelly.
115
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:28,767
Thanks.
Okay, bye.
116
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,370
Listen, shelly's having
a birthday party for sam
117
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,404
Saturday,
at the happy zone.
118
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:33,572
We're all invited.
119
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:37,309
- Oh, that's great.
The happy zone.
120
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:39,745
- What's the matter, honey?
Did you lose?
121
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,546
- No, we won.
122
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:43,415
- I see.
123
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:46,618
And you're sad
for the other team?
124
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,822
- I didn't play
the whole second half.
125
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:53,759
Robert got elected captain,
and he didn't put me in.
126
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,694
- That's great.
127
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,562
- What's great?
128
00:04:57,564 --> 00:05:00,365
- Well, you know,
that robert gets to be captain.
129
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:01,667
And listen,
if he doesn't play you,
130
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:02,901
Then maybe you won't
have to go so much
131
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,736
And you can spend
some more time with us.
132
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,773
See, it's good news.
133
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:11,376
- It's all good news for me.
134
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:12,678
- Well, what's the matter?
135
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,513
Don't you want to spend
more time with us?
136
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,882
- I do.
You know I do.
137
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:18,817
- Aren't you happy that robert
got elected captain?
138
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:22,020
- Yes, I'm--
I'm happy.
139
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:25,724
Everything's working out great
for me.
140
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:29,795
- Oh, my god.
You want to be captain.
141
00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:32,064
You want to be captain!
142
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:32,998
- No, I don't!
143
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,499
- Yes, you do!
- I do not.
144
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,501
- Look at you.
- I don't want to be captain.
145
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,737
It's a stupid pizza league.
146
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,939
Those guys--those guys
don't have a life.
147
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:43,642
I have a big life.
148
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:46,411
- You really want this bad,
don't you?
149
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,814
- No.
No, I have you.
150
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:52,584
I have you. I have ally.
I have michael, geoffrey.
151
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:55,020
That's everybody, right?
152
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,122
- Yeah, should be.
153
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,724
Listen, ray,
you know, I don't get this.
154
00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,425
I mean, you work
all the time,
155
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:03,695
And when you come back,
you run off and play.
156
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,797
And now
you've got to be captain.
157
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,066
- Listen, I've been playing
with these guys
158
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,801
Since high school,
159
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,070
And we've never come close
to winning a championship.
160
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,705
This time, we're close.
161
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,941
And if I can be captain,
I know we can--
162
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,542
We can go all the way.
163
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,378
- And winning
is more important
164
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:21,079
Than spending time
with your family?
165
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:25,917
- Apples and oranges.
166
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,419
- No, no, no, ray.
167
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:29,788
Apples or oranges.
168
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:32,724
You know, I gave up some stuff
when we had kids.
169
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,659
- I know.
170
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,962
Did it have to be sex?
171
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,907
Listen, I'm just trying
to do it all; that's all.
172
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,742
- Okay, you go ahead
and try to do it all.
173
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,544
I just think that
you're choosing quantity
174
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:54,646
Over quality.
175
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:57,649
Myself, obviously,
representing quality.
176
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,186
- Well, quality is job one.
177
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,021
- That's right.
178
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,457
- Okay, quality,
you know what?
179
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:06,725
Robert doesn't want
to play me,
180
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,059
And they don't want me
as captain.
181
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,895
Then who needs them?
182
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,930
I can't get out of
tomorrow's game,
183
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,732
But I'm going
to blow off Saturday's.
184
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,134
Take me to the happy zone.
185
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:19,204
Let me at that whack-a-mole.
186
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:20,772
[knocking at door]
187
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,008
- Hey, hey, there he is,
there he is.
188
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:24,142
Come on. Come on.
189
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,778
Ray, that was
a great thing you did.
190
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:30,015
- Not lock the door?
191
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:33,218
- You stepped aside
and let your brother be captain.
192
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:36,588
Look at him,
captain robert barone.
193
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,790
- Dad, don't call me that.
194
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,725
I'm the same robert
I've always been.
195
00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:43,862
- Hey, congratulations,
robert.
196
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,530
We're really happy for you.
197
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:47,098
Isn't that right, ray?
198
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:50,068
- I share his joy.
199
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,837
- Come on. Come on.
Come on.
200
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:54,806
Get up. Get up.
Come on. Come on.
201
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,875
The barone boys,
202
00:07:56,877 --> 00:08:02,647
Continuing a long legacy
of athletic excellence.
203
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:05,484
- Well, I couldn't have done it
without ray.
204
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,586
- Well, always glad to help.
205
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:10,121
- Hey, no fatty foods!
206
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,756
We got games tomorrow
and Saturday.
207
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,024
I want the team to be
lean and mean,
208
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,593
Not soft and gushy.
209
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:18,997
- All right, don't--
don't touch my gush.
210
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,800
- Let's hear it
for my firstborn,
211
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:26,571
A leader of men,
212
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,874
And my second son,
213
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:31,576
A loyal follower.
214
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:38,583
- Yeah!
Whoo hoo hoo! Yeah!
215
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,585
- Oh, my god.
You were in there.
216
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,521
- Did you see me jam?
217
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,890
Believe me,
that was a jam.
218
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:47,792
- Gentlemen?
Gentlemen.
219
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:51,530
That was a disgrace.
220
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:53,064
I'm embarrassed to be
221
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,033
In the same children's
locker room with you.
222
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,568
- Robert, we won.
223
00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,136
- Yeah, we were lucky.
224
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,804
I consider this a moral defeat.
225
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:01,139
And I'll tell you
something else.
226
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,707
Nemo's pizzeria
should have destroyed
227
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,210
Wo hop's chinese takeout.
228
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,579
- Whoa, robert.
Just take it easy, all right?
229
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,814
- Yeah, calm down,
paul bunyan.
230
00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:13,318
- Hey, smokestack?
231
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,920
- Hmm?
- Come here.
232
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,688
- Hmm?
- Come here. Come here.
233
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:17,889
Yeah.
Give me that, heh?
234
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,224
Want to see what I think
of your lung rocket?
235
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,892
Look at that, huh?
236
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,861
- Ooh, look what he did
to my cigarette.
237
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:24,996
- You ain't smoking now,
are you, chum?
238
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,666
- He's a maniac!
239
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,135
- You ought to see him
with a birthday cake.
240
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,737
- Okay, that's enough
out of you too, raymond.
241
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,673
I didn't see you helping
out there tonight.
242
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:36,141
- Well, I only played
for two minutes.
243
00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:37,642
- Yeah, and we won.
244
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,177
All: Ooh.
245
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,946
- Hey, robert,
246
00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:42,347
You know,
I come here to play, okay?
247
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,949
I got three kids.
248
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:45,150
If I'm not going to play,
I could be home
249
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:49,688
Pulling a waffle
out of the vcr.
250
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,056
- At least when I was captain,
it was fun.
251
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,757
All: Yeah.
252
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,593
- Uh-huh, okay.
253
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,027
Are you guys unhappy with me?
254
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,896
- You scare me.
255
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,900
- Okay, all right.
256
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,201
Well, I just guess
I'm the target
257
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,136
Of some backstage grumblings.
258
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,138
- Robert, you're letting
the captain thing
259
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,640
Go to your head.
260
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,342
That's all you care about,
is captain.
261
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:12,611
Captain nemo.
262
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,613
I got to tell you, really,
nobody likes you this way.
263
00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:17,315
Maybe the captain thing
is just too much.
264
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:21,152
- Et tu, raymond?
265
00:10:23,255 --> 00:10:24,856
- Come on, don't do that.
266
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,358
Don't do that stuff.
267
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,959
- I quit.
268
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,294
All: Aw!
269
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,262
- Don't quit, rob.
Don't quit.
270
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,398
Come on, robert.
We need you.
271
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,933
We need you.
You--you're--
272
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,335
- You're so friggin' huge!
273
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,309
- Hi.
- Hey, how'd it go?
274
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,177
- Robert quit the team.
275
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:48,213
- That is terrible.
276
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,814
- Yeah, well, he got
a little drunk with power,
277
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,916
And the guys turned on him.
278
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:53,284
- Oh.
279
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,053
- He kind of left
in a bad way.
280
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,689
- Oh, poor robert.
281
00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:59,691
- So that kind of affects
our trip
282
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:02,093
To the happy zone Saturday.
283
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:05,964
- We don't have to take robert
with us, do we?
284
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:09,067
- No, but we can't take me
with us either.
285
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,969
- What?
Ray, come on.
286
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,270
I thought you said
287
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,039
You were going to blow off
the game on Saturday.
288
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,774
- That was when
I wasn't playing.
289
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,842
- Well, who says
you have to play?
290
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,945
- The new captain.
- Who's he?
291
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:23,048
- Hey.
292
00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:29,154
Ah!
293
00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:31,690
Ah.
294
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,993
Oh, why?
295
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,262
Oh!
Ah.
296
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,930
- Oh, my god,
what happened?
297
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,266
- Oh, not a good game.
298
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,068
- Oh.
299
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:46,738
- This is my new job.
I'm a coaster now.
300
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:47,739
- Where does it hurt?
301
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,809
- Ah, I think I pulled a liver.
302
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,010
- Here, come on.
303
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,479
- Easy.
Slow, slow, slower.
304
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,247
- Yeah.
I'm trying.
305
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,183
- Easy, nurse ratchet.
306
00:11:58,185 --> 00:11:59,784
Move the pillows.
307
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:01,720
- All right.
Well, did you win at least?
308
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,421
- No.
It was awful.
309
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,856
- Oh.
310
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,124
- Never mind.
How was your day?
311
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:07,358
- Oh, gosh, ray,
312
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,761
The kids were so cute
at the happy zone.
313
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,396
We had a great time.
314
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,897
- Where are they?
Are they sleeping?
315
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,033
- Yeah.
- Oh, I missed them?
316
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,502
- Yeah. Oh, god,
you should've seen them.
317
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:18,970
They were in the ball pit,
318
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,005
And this big 7-year-old kid
comes over,
319
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:22,307
And he starts throwing balls
at the twins.
320
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:25,243
And ally says,
"those are my brothers!"
321
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,312
And she runs over,
and she knocks the kid down.
322
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,514
- A boy? Ally?
She knocked down a boy?
323
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,483
- She, like, gave him this
hip check like mark messier.
324
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,118
I had to go in there,
'cause I thought
325
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,753
She was going to pull
his shirt over his head,
326
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:35,386
Like, start wailing on him.
327
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,122
She was so cute!
328
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,824
- Oh, god.
Well, did you film it?
329
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:42,327
- No, 'cause, I mean,
you're the video guy.
330
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:46,931
- Oh, well, I was busy
dry heaving.
331
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,933
What else?
What else did I miss?
332
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,136
- Double chocolate
fudge cake.
333
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:54,973
- Oh!
334
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,274
- Oh, and--
335
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,343
I hate to tell you this, ray,
336
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,812
But michael said
his first word today.
337
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:02,480
- Come on.
No!
338
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:05,183
- Yeah, well, we were driving
along the expressway,
339
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:07,051
And this truck cuts us off.
340
00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:08,520
And, well, you know
what you always say
341
00:13:08,522 --> 00:13:12,357
When that happens to you?
342
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,892
- He said that?
343
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,160
- Clear as a bell.
344
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,262
- Oh, god.
345
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:19,063
Well, how did he say it?
346
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:21,399
Did he punch it out
like I do?
347
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:27,906
- Ray, it was as if
you were in the car.
348
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:30,041
- Oh, god, I can't believe
I missed that.
349
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:32,977
- Well, you're very busy
having it all.
350
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:36,281
You are bound
to miss some things.
351
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,383
But I'll tell you what.
352
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,518
Tomorrow if we all want
to go together--
353
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,153
- Oh, I--tomorrow,
I can't tomorrow.
354
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,922
- What?
355
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,056
- I got the playoffs
tomorrow.
356
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:47,525
- Oh, get--
playoffs now, right?
357
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,127
You know,
this stuff never ends.
358
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,295
- Look, this is why--
359
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:52,163
This is why I became
the captain:
360
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,898
To lead us through
the playoffs
361
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:54,566
So we can win it.
362
00:13:54,568 --> 00:13:56,134
- Win what?
363
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,969
I mean, what are you
actually winning?
364
00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,971
- Maybe you'll understand
when you see
365
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,906
A big trophy
sitting right over there.
366
00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:04,175
- Oh, my god, the trophy.
367
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,611
You're right.
I forgot about the trophy.
368
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:11,482
Is it shiny?
369
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:12,517
- Come on.
Don't worry.
370
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:13,952
I'll make it up to you, okay?
371
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,353
Everything's going to be okay.
372
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,222
I'm the captain.
373
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:22,060
- You are some brother.
374
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,261
- Hi, ma.
375
00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:25,096
- Don't "ma" me.
376
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,398
I finally got it
out of robert.
377
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,234
He's been sitting over there
for two days
378
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:31,870
Depressed, moping,
not talking to anyone.
379
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,605
And you know why?
380
00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:37,008
- 'cause he's robert?
381
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:38,509
- Because his brother
sold him down the river
382
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,912
For his own glory.
383
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,580
- Hey, ma, you want to hear
what michael said today?
384
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,382
- I think you're about
to hear it again, ray.
385
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,118
- Ma, look,
I didn't do anything.
386
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,519
- Oh?
387
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,955
You dethroned him
and then you took his crown!
388
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,024
You're like richard iii
389
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:56,261
Or that guy on
"young and the restless"!
390
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,329
- Ma, he did it to himself,
all right?
391
00:14:58,331 --> 00:14:59,998
The team was right.
392
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,466
- You would put
a basketball team
393
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,334
Before your family?
394
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:05,637
- You don't understand.
He was out of control.
395
00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:07,405
He was yelling,
he wouldn't listen to anybody,
396
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,274
And he screamed,
and then he stormed out.
397
00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:10,975
- That's nonsense!
398
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:12,977
Who the hell in this family
acts like that?
399
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,445
You better get over there
400
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,047
And make your brother
feel better,
401
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,515
Or the next time
I come over,
402
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:20,118
I won't be so nice.
403
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:26,291
Well, somebody needs a trip
to the happy zone.
404
00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:37,368
- Hey.
- Hey.
405
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,470
- Is mom here?
406
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:43,074
- She's upstairs
hitting my speed bag.
407
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:45,143
How's the team?
408
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:48,112
- Well, we--we really missed you
out there, rob.
409
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,181
- Oh?
410
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:53,084
- Yeah.
Yeah, you ought to come back.
411
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:56,487
- You--you guys want me back?
412
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,523
- Yeah, sure.
413
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,058
Come on; you're the best player
out there.
414
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,060
We need you.
415
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,095
- So you're asking me
to be captain?
416
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:07,198
- No, no.
417
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,034
I'm still going to be captain.
418
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:11,569
- You are a piece of work.
419
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:12,971
- Look, come on.
Don't you see?
420
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,139
It's still in the family.
421
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,374
It's just like you're captain,
422
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,710
Only I'm captain.
423
00:16:18,712 --> 00:16:21,045
- Won't that be cozy?
424
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:24,682
You come back, and you help us
win the championship.
425
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,484
The whole team will be happy.
426
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,987
And you won't be mad anymore,
so mom will be happy.
427
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:30,021
And you can help me.
428
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:31,189
You can help me with some of
429
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,224
The lesser captaining
responsibilities,
430
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,159
And I can spend more time
with my family.
431
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,627
Then they'll be happy.
432
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,629
- So once again,
you get everything.
433
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:40,999
- No, no,
that's not everything.
434
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,634
That's, like, four things.
435
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,338
- Well, thanks for thinking
of me, raymond,
436
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,574
But I'm just going to
have to pass.
437
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,509
- What, pass?
You can't pass, robert.
438
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,044
We can't do it without you.
439
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:55,546
Come on,
you're the missing link.
440
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,516
- I've heard that before.
441
00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,717
- Come on; I tell you what.
442
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,452
Just come back,
come back for the playoffs,
443
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,454
And next year I'll make sure
you're captain.
444
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,123
I promise.
445
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,624
- Well, I appreciate it,
446
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,693
But I'm just going to have
to pursue another option.
447
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,328
- Another option?
448
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:11,462
With who?
449
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:14,499
- Wo hop's chinese takeout.
450
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:18,569
They put a very lovely offer
on the table.
451
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:21,039
Kung pao?
452
00:17:27,446 --> 00:17:29,180
- Morning, mommy.
453
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:30,348
- Hi, honey.
Where's daddy?
454
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,683
- He's in the shower,
singing.
455
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:35,053
He's terrible.
456
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:37,688
[knocking at door]
457
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,591
- Hey.
Oh, look, it's daddy's posse.
458
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,593
- Morning.
459
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,295
- Morning, debra.
Where's the captain?
460
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,663
- Yeah, we got a lot
of problems.
461
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,131
- No kidding.
462
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,167
Yeah, ray will be down
in a minute.
463
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:50,601
- Hey, boys.
464
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,470
Hey, you, uh,
going to finish this?
465
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:55,139
- Hey, hey, hey.
Kev, come on.
466
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:56,841
Do you mind?
It's his breakfast.
467
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:57,842
- He's not eating it.
468
00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:00,211
Look, he spit it all out.
469
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,647
- You know, ray will be down
in a second, okay?
470
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,283
Ray?
471
00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:08,619
- Oh. I'm sorry.
472
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:12,356
Can I have some juice,
please?
473
00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:16,360
- Can't believe
you're not married, andy.
474
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:18,830
- Well, you know,
I just haven't met miss right.
475
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,731
Know anybody?
476
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,201
I'll let 'em all know
that you're looking.
477
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,635
Ray?
478
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:27,839
- Mommy, that man's smoking.
479
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:29,173
- Narc.
480
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:32,677
- Come on, dave.
What are you doing?
481
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:33,811
- Sorry, debra,
where are my manners?
482
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,346
Would you like one?
483
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:38,649
- Ray! Ray!
484
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:39,750
Hey, you know what?
485
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,719
Why don't you guys
just go on up?
486
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,154
I'm sure ray will be happy
to see you.
487
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:47,125
After all, he's your captain.
488
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,559
- Hey, debra,
how's your sister doing?
489
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:49,861
- Yeah, just go.
490
00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:52,130
- All right,
thanks a lot.
491
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:58,269
- Ally, honey--
492
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:02,673
Do you want to talk about
what you just saw?
493
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,542
- [singing] camptown ladies,
sing that song
494
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,178
Doo dah, doo dah
495
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:10,148
Camptown ladies,
sing that song
496
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,183
- Hey, what do you got going
in there?
497
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:13,684
- What are you doing?
- We need to talk to you.
498
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,419
- We?
499
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:18,222
- [imitating ray]
oh, no, who's in my shower?
500
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:19,323
- Get out of here!
501
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,325
- "get out of here!"
502
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:22,894
- Ray, tartar control.
503
00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,595
Kudos.
504
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,531
- What are you doing?
What do you want?
505
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,466
- You screwed up the orders
for the playoff uniforms.
506
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,635
- What style number
did you order?
507
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,170
- I don't know,
I don't know. 17.
508
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,771
- I told you number 70!
509
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,439
- All right,
so what's the difference?
510
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:38,176
- Oh, nothing.
511
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:40,411
- Give me a towel.
512
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:41,913
- Hey, ray, am I going to
play tonight?
513
00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:43,281
I need to know,
because I was thinking
514
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,515
About bringing a girl
to the game.
515
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,417
- Yeah, all right, all right.
I'll play you.
516
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:48,686
- Okay, then I'm telling her
not to come.
517
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,354
- Come on, this is why you guys
are up here bothering me?
518
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:51,622
- Yeah, what do you think?
519
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:52,823
We just came up here
to watch you buff yourself
520
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,426
To a high sheen?
521
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:56,761
- Funny, funny.
All right.
522
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:57,962
I'll take care of everything.
523
00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,263
Now do me a favor
and get out of here!
524
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:01,365
- Hey, nice nipples!
525
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,234
- Ray, these come in chewable.
526
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:04,502
- Get out of here.
Come on.
527
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:05,603
- Hey, don't forget
the uniforms.
528
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:06,804
- Yeah.
- Who's starting tonight?
529
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,439
- The guys who aren't
in my bathroom.
530
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,308
- "in my bathroom."
531
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,609
- Yeah, all right,
you're funny, kevin.
532
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,778
You're real--hey, kevin,
come on, huh?
533
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:15,546
What, are you crazy?
534
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,516
Weirdoes.
535
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,851
- Want some more
french toast, honey?
536
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,588
- Yes. Thank you, mommy.
- You're welcome.
537
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:29,660
- What did you send in
the stooges to the shower for?
538
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:30,928
Bunch of idiots.
539
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:33,497
They can't handle anything.
540
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:37,835
- You okay, honey?
541
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,370
- Yeah, yeah.
542
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,739
Listen, I screwed up
the uniforms.
543
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,974
I got to go do the uniforms,
544
00:20:42,976 --> 00:20:46,611
And then I got to make sure
the gym's open.
545
00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:50,448
All the big important things
a captain's got to do.
546
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:51,616
So I'll see you later,
all right?
547
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,618
- See you.
- Bye, daddy.
548
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,020
- Bye, cutie.
549
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:58,823
Bye.
550
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:01,859
Michael, don't say anything
dirty until I get back.
551
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,761
- Bye.
552
00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:06,597
Can you get that?
You want some help?
553
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,366
Here, let me spread that
for you.
554
00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:09,567
Ooh, look at
all that syrup.
555
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:11,702
Is syrup your favorite thing?
556
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,871
Hmm? You like that?
557
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,940
What's your favorite breakfast?
558
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,743
- Syrup and french toast.
559
00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:21,445
- Mm-hmm, that's what I thought.
560
00:21:23,715 --> 00:21:26,384
What are you doing?
561
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,588
- I just retired.
562
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,757
- What about the team?
563
00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:36,060
- Don't worry about the team.
564
00:21:36,062 --> 00:21:39,397
I'll tell them there's a better
offer on the table.
565
00:21:40,999 --> 00:21:43,367
Any more french toast?
566
00:21:43,369 --> 00:21:44,502
- I'd love some.
567
00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:48,005
Thank you, captain.
568
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:50,374
- Yeah, I'm a born leader.
569
00:21:56,081 --> 00:21:57,615
Wow.
570
00:21:57,617 --> 00:22:01,552
- Wasn't that better
than basketball?
571
00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:08,492
- You know, I think I sweat
about the same.
572
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:12,930
Oh, I wonder how the guys
are doing right now.
573
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:14,865
- All right, guys.
574
00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:18,703
As your captain,
I just want to say,
575
00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:21,572
Look, don't get too down
on yourselves, all right?
576
00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:23,574
We did the best we could,
577
00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:25,109
But for whatever reason,
578
00:22:25,111 --> 00:22:27,111
We just didn't
match up tonight.
579
00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:28,612
- Two, four, six, eight.
580
00:22:28,614 --> 00:22:30,114
Who do we appreciate?
581
00:22:30,116 --> 00:22:31,882
Nemo's! Nemo's!
582
00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:34,985
Yay, nemo's!
40235
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