All language subtitles for Being.Human.UK.S05E03.BDRip.x265-ION265

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,377 --> 00:00:03,504 Whoever impresses me most 2 00:00:03,588 --> 00:00:07,341 will be named employee of the month. 3 00:00:07,425 --> 00:00:08,509 Imagine having a cv. 4 00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:10,344 I just wanted to better meself. 5 00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:12,722 Broaden my horizons. And this was gonna be it. 6 00:00:13,097 --> 00:00:15,183 You need to freshen up, my love. 7 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,393 Why don't you go take a dip in the sea? 8 00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:19,687 My name is Dominic rook. 9 00:00:20,605 --> 00:00:23,941 My job is to maintain the illusion that man is alone. 10 00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:25,776 Frith: Your department is to be dissolved, 11 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,696 its responsibilities handed to special branch. 12 00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:31,115 Then god help us all. 13 00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:35,536 Still feeling the benefits of that lovely little Ridge of high pressure. 14 00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:38,789 And, oh, do my eyes deceive me? Sunshine? 15 00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:41,292 37 degrees? I'll take it. 16 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,045 Time to dust off that bikini and hit the beach. 17 00:00:44,128 --> 00:00:47,131 And Larry Chrysler will see you there. 18 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,386 And we're out. 19 00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:55,640 Sorry, what the galloping balls was that? 20 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,643 I'm not stupid. I know exactly what's going on here. 21 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,062 You only have so many "poor performances" 22 00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:02,905 before it starts to look a lot like sabotage. 23 00:01:02,939 --> 00:01:05,983 - It was fine, Larry. - No, Trevor, that was a shambles. 24 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:09,237 The only thing that saved that sorry sack of shit was my bikini line. 25 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,738 The line I said. Not... 26 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,406 Look... 27 00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:16,661 I'm watching. Don't you worry. I'm watching. 28 00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:25,753 - Woman: Not the point. - No, love, that is very much the point. 29 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:29,340 Nicolas cage does not use that particular model of jacuzzi. 30 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,676 Woman: Well, Mr. Cage has purchased several hot tubs... 31 00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:34,178 Yes, he may use your brand of jacuzzis, 32 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:37,014 but that's not an after-dinner anecdote I can use. 33 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,518 I bought your product for one purpose and one purpose only - 34 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:42,937 to point at and say, "that is the exact jacuzzi 35 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,690 "owned by Hollywood film star Nicolas cage." 36 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:49,443 Look, love, no offense, but is there a man there I can talk to? 37 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:51,779 - Woman: Er, unfortunately... - Shit. Hang on. 38 00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:53,948 - There's nobody else available. - Hang on. 39 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:59,704 Woman: Mr. Chrysler? Hello? 40 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:08,546 Woman: Mr. Chrysler, are you still there? Hello? 41 00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:11,299 Is everything okay? 42 00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:14,385 - Mr. Chrysler? - Can I call you back? 43 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:32,478 Tom: I've been here just as long as you. I don't know why they made you manager 44 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:34,322 - and not me. - It's acting manager. 45 00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:38,409 And I have no idea, Tom. I wasn't privy to the deliberations. 46 00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:41,221 There, that. It's 'cause you say "privy" and you don't even mean the bogs. 47 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:43,664 It's just a title, Tom. It doesn't change a thing. 48 00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:45,833 Will you please stop that? It's unsanitary. 49 00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:48,252 I know. So what happened to that patsy bird anyway? 50 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,503 Did she just walk out? 51 00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:50,921 She was rather highly strung. 52 00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:53,424 Clearly, the pressure got too much for her. 53 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,842 But I'm sure she'll be back soon 54 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:57,511 and we can return to our original roles and responsibilities. 55 00:02:57,595 --> 00:02:59,072 Yeah, but until then, it's gonna be all, 56 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,536 "Tom, can you help out on reception? 57 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:03,076 "Tom, Mrs. Smith left her key in her room. Can you let her in?" 58 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,578 You do know those are your actual jobs anyway? 59 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,520 'Cause I won't put up with it, hal! 60 00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:09,774 And for starters, it's a full moon tonight, so I'm having the night off. 61 00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:11,776 I'm just gonna walk out, go home. 62 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,944 And what are you gonna do about it, eh? 63 00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:15,279 You can't. 64 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,865 - Unbelievable. - No, I mean, I knew that, 65 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,283 so I scheduled you the night off. 66 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:22,620 Did you hear that, then? Did you hear it? And so it begins. 67 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:44,642 Werewolf. 68 00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:52,316 Testes, one, two. Testes, one, two. 69 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:55,569 Little bit bassy, but we can live with it. 70 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:58,572 So, what are the lighting choices? What have we got to play with? 71 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,832 - On. - Okay. 72 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,669 - And off. - Okay. 73 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,921 Let's go with "on". 74 00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:19,176 Larry: The hotel door closed behind me, didn't have a key. 75 00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:24,515 Locked out in the corridors of the Dorchester, London. 76 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:28,185 Not quite full monty. Calm down, ladies. 77 00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:31,355 Larry: Still had on my dressing gown over a pair of pants. 78 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,858 But it took me 25 minutes to get another key. 79 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,778 Hilarious. 80 00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:41,198 I'm reminded of the time I met my wonderful wife, 81 00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:44,493 winner of miss avon and somerset, 1992, '94. 82 00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:48,539 Larry: All the same person. Don't worry, I'm not a mormon. 83 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,876 Double the nagging. Who needs it? 84 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:55,171 We met at a wild party after children in need. 85 00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:58,859 When we met there were certainly sparks, 86 00:04:58,883 --> 00:05:02,470 because I reversed my BMW 6 series into her Renault clio. 87 00:05:02,887 --> 00:05:07,308 Our bumpers kissed and then our mouths kissed. 88 00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:14,190 That was great. 89 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:16,734 I spotted you as soon as you walked in. Did you spot me? 90 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,236 I can't say I did, but I can certainly see you now. 91 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:20,905 So, where do you change? 92 00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:23,741 Uh, in the dressing room. 93 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,243 Sorry, I'm a little bit busy right now. 94 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:29,079 That's a iovelyjacket. My name's Tom. 95 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,248 Your name's Larry, I've seen it on your sign. 96 00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,584 Well done. So, what do you want? 97 00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:35,753 Money? A date? An autograph? What? 98 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,839 - I'll have the last one, if it's okay? - And there it is. 99 00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,425 - Who do I make it out to? - Uh, Tom mcnair? 100 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:44,762 M, small c, big n, and then "air". Like "air". 101 00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:48,015 There you go. So, what next? 102 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:53,103 I'm guessing straight on eBay. Because I'll check. 103 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,105 I always check. 104 00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:57,876 I think it's great that you're famous. I didn't know we could be famous. 105 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,777 I can't get over it. 106 00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:05,783 Man: A response from the secretary of state. 107 00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:07,385 Frith: Placing value uppermost 108 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:09,370 does exactly what it says on the tin. 109 00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:10,704 This isn't about cuts. 110 00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:13,123 This is about identifying those departments 111 00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,876 that simply aren't pulling their weight and reallocating... 112 00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,297 Departments within the civil service. 113 00:06:20,965 --> 00:06:22,299 The placing... 114 00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,735 Hal's got a girlfriend. 115 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,322 I have not got a girlfriend. 116 00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:46,991 He's visiting a girl. 117 00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:49,994 And judging from that getup, she's got a very good sense of humor. 118 00:06:50,286 --> 00:06:53,330 Lady Mary is simply an acquaintance, nothing more. 119 00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:54,832 Wow. 120 00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:59,003 An acquaintance with the lady Mary? That's prison slang, surely? 121 00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:01,338 No hanging around with fangs, hal. Them's the rules. 122 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,090 Please don't call us that. 123 00:07:03,299 --> 00:07:08,012 Lady Mary is not a vampire. She is a ghost, who died some years ago. 124 00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:09,847 Wait a minute. 125 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:14,018 You know a ghost, another female ghost, and what, you didn't tell me? 126 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:17,605 Because I knew there was no point. You really wouldn't get on. 127 00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:21,275 Oh. Well, I think that's for me and my new best mate Mary to decide, don't you? 128 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,776 Absolutely not. 129 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,862 Lady Mary is a shy, 130 00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:28,824 fragile creature, with an innocence I am determined to protect. 131 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:30,973 What, you think I would corrupt her? 132 00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:33,996 I think you'd corrupt Keith Richards. So, if you don't mind? 133 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,835 Told you. Girlfriend. 134 00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:49,511 It is a pleasure to receive you, as always, lord Harry. 135 00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:53,807 Since your last visit, we have gained several invigorating new exhibits 136 00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:57,186 including an enchanting selection of pottery from the colonies. 137 00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:00,856 Wonderful. I shall look foward to perusing them in due course. 138 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,025 Boo! 139 00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:06,403 His face. Shut you right up. 140 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,114 Alex. How's it going? 141 00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:12,576 Ooh! Hold that thought! 142 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,206 I thought we decided you were staying at home? 143 00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:21,418 Oh, you decided I was staying at home, but I decided to ignore you. 144 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,881 Oh, come on, hal, stop being all "hal" about this. 145 00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:29,385 I've got no one to talk to about ghost stuff. 146 00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:31,720 And I swear, I won't swear. 147 00:08:37,393 --> 00:08:39,186 Lady Mary. 148 00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:44,400 Allow me to introduce Alex, a new ghost of my acquaintance. 149 00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:50,447 I see. And I take it you two are, um... 150 00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:54,034 I'm not sure what the modern parlance is. 151 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,705 What, shagging? 152 00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:02,459 - God, no. Are you serious? No way. - Nothing of the sort. I assure you. 153 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,354 - Friends and nothing more. - I mean, he irons his socks... 154 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,922 In fact, we share our abode with a lycanthrope. 155 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,426 That is one crazy big dress, isn't it? 156 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:14,179 Still, I suppose it saves you shaving your legs, right? 157 00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,432 You got any guillotines or stuff? 158 00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,142 Oh, is there a dungeon in here? 159 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:21,770 Oh! My god, this place is so cool. 160 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:26,275 Lady Mary, I offer my sincerest apologies. 161 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,027 Not at all. No. She has, um, 162 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:33,323 a boisterous charm that has awoken the teacher in me. 163 00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:36,368 I almost wish my finishing school were still open. 164 00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:39,538 I fear she is beyond the help of even your prodigious talents. 165 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,707 - Then I accept your wager. - My what? 166 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,543 The carving really is quite exquisite. 167 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:48,714 In addition, we have gained a new ivory comb and a Moroccan footstool. 168 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,966 - No, seriously, what? - Mistress Alex, 169 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:55,053 I feel we have so much to learn from one another, though we've hardly conversed. 170 00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:56,263 Yeah, totally. 171 00:09:56,346 --> 00:10:00,350 And as it seems that lord Harry has other urgent business to attend to, 172 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,186 it appears we shall have that chance. 173 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,479 What? 174 00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:06,982 Yes. 175 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:13,489 I have business, urgent business, to go and do. 176 00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:19,953 But it is my fervent hope that you will both become better acquainted. 177 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:24,416 A sentiment I echo, lord Harry. 178 00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:29,838 Lady Mary. 179 00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,226 God, 180 00:10:43,227 --> 00:10:47,689 haunting a stately home. Shit, that must be brilliant. 181 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:52,069 I mean, sorry, not "shit". Um, "bums"? 182 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,112 You all right? 183 00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:57,115 Yes. I am curious, lord Harry, has he... 184 00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:59,576 - Oh, yeah, yeah. He's gone. - Oh, thank fuck for that. 185 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:00,744 - What? - God I 186 00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:03,997 it's just such hard work keeping it up, you know? 187 00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:06,291 All that "thee" and "thou" bollocks. 188 00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,919 It gets on my tits. 189 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,546 You're not... 190 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:15,717 - You're not posh? - Oh. Let's get out of here. 191 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:19,179 This place bored me to frigging tears even when I was alive. 192 00:11:19,555 --> 00:11:21,181 But now I have a playmate. 193 00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:23,851 Come on, let's go, have some fun. 194 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,193 - Mr. Chrysler. - I missed the fried breakfast, 195 00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:35,779 so technically, I'm just taking what's due to me. 196 00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:41,243 I was under the impression that you were leaving us today. However... 197 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,595 I don't know where you got that idea from. 198 00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,621 My management company specifically stated 199 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,207 that there was one week's full stay included in the rider. 200 00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:50,335 Well, whoever's error it is, it's very unfortunate. 201 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,214 Going out tonight, Mr. Chrysler? 202 00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:57,175 Maybe. 203 00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:00,178 Be sure to vacate your room by tomorrow morning. 204 00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:03,265 Well, that's fine. Be good to get back on the road. 205 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,142 Put some miles on the clock. 206 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:08,353 Hotel living can be a little bit soulless. 207 00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:09,813 You know what I mean? 208 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:13,942 Thanks again. 209 00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:22,576 So you put it all on, just for hal? 210 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,995 Mmm-mmm. It wasn't always an act. 211 00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:29,666 When he first started visiting me, I actually was that curtseying fuckwit. 212 00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:34,212 So, you and hal, what's the deal? 213 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,340 I told you. We're just mates. 214 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:43,555 I mean, we kind of had a date once, but it didn't go too well. 215 00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:48,894 I laddered my tights on the way there, then I had to run back and get changed, 216 00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,563 and then I got killed by a vampire. 217 00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:55,525 Shit the bed. So, you kind of had a thing, 218 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:58,570 you got killed, and now you and hal live together? 219 00:12:58,654 --> 00:13:00,155 - Yeah. - Mmm-hmm. 220 00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:01,782 Oh, fuck off. 221 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:06,536 Kind of had a thing. Mates. 222 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,957 What is he like? Hmm? 223 00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:11,875 Shit. 224 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:19,800 Okay, so, apparently, she is secretly shagging him, 225 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,260 but he's the boyfriend of her. 226 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,346 You can read their minds? 227 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,640 Isn't that a bit like reading someone's diary? 228 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,183 It's brilliant, isn't it? 229 00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:31,937 So it's fair to say that you've changed over the years? 230 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:36,400 Mmm. Doesn't everyone? I mean I read. I watch TV. 231 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,503 I keep up with the world. It just looks a bit bloody weird 232 00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:41,363 'cause I'm dressed like a cake decoration. 233 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:47,411 She knows! And she's one bacardi breezer away from twatting her. 234 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,162 Oops. 235 00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,041 Fucking bitch! 236 00:13:55,627 --> 00:14:00,215 Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 237 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,346 - Mr. Chrysler. - What? 238 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:08,432 It's you again. All right? 239 00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:11,452 You off to go and drag your chicken around in a circle? 240 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,769 Excuse me? 241 00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:15,480 - I've got a cellar. - Awesome. 242 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,458 Well, she's faking it, and he's thinking about his ex. 243 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,126 But he's almost there. 244 00:14:37,169 --> 00:14:40,756 Come on. You're gonna miss it. He's not exactly a long-distance runner. 245 00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:43,759 Yeah, you know what? I think I'm... I'm just gonna pass. 246 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,219 Suit yourself. Oh, god, here we go. 247 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:51,892 Man: Oh, yes! 248 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,632 I've got my own cellar now. A lot less faff. 249 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,258 Yeah, the cellar. 250 00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:26,736 You're very pleased with your cellar, aren't you? 251 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,220 Look at the state of you. 252 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,889 No offense. But I know the signs. 253 00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:32,766 Woke up in the woods, then, yeah? 254 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:36,103 Yeah, bit of a crazy night last night, actually. 255 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:40,649 Some of the people from the show dragged me out to a club, 256 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:43,860 and had absolute carnage. Had about four pints. 257 00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,655 Then a casino. Fell in with a stag do, and... 258 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:50,075 Nice lads, but I lost a bet, so here we are. Oh. 259 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:53,036 - I think I can hear my pager. - It's all right, you know. 260 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:56,331 - What do you mean? - I'm a werewolf, too. 261 00:15:58,542 --> 00:15:59,662 Suppose it's understandable, 262 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,270 if you've never met any other werewolves, 263 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,880 how would you know how to spot them? Us. 264 00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:06,216 I can't stop thinking about your talk. 265 00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:09,803 All the things that you've done and bought. 266 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,639 I was just wondering if you had any, like, 267 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,808 you know, like, pointers for me? 268 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:18,728 I'm a werewolf too, but I've never lived anywhere posh, like you. 269 00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:21,982 I live in a house now, but I ain't got it all to myself. 270 00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,401 I have share it with a couple of friends. 271 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,570 I used to live in a Van in the woods with my dad. 272 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,739 We'd move about, and keep a low profile, 273 00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:31,968 and, well, just live off the land, really. 274 00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,535 What did you say? 275 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,054 I used to live in a Van in the woods with my dad. 276 00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:36,413 - Before that. - Erm... 277 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,558 I'm a werewolf, but I've never lived anywhere posh, like you. 278 00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:41,751 After that. You said something about living in a house with people. 279 00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,087 - Yeah. - Do they know what you are? 280 00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,214 Yeah. Totally. 281 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,383 And they don't mind? 282 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:51,052 Well, they've got their own things going on. 283 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,265 So, you want to know about the secret of my success? 284 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,516 Yeah. 285 00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:59,352 Half of me thinks it's impossible. 286 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:02,772 Half of me thinks it would be selfish not to pass on my wisdom. 287 00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:04,608 And yet, 288 00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:07,194 the other halfjust wants to throw caution to the wind. 289 00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:10,113 - That's three halves. - Oh, you're good. 290 00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,032 Real good. 291 00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:16,411 So, this house of yours. How big is it, exactly? 292 00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:25,420 We need to talk about Mary. 293 00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:28,131 I did say you'd find her a little dull. 294 00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:29,815 "Dull" is not the word that I would use. 295 00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:31,051 Erm... 296 00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:33,887 "Crazy sordid batshit shocking" is more the flavor. 297 00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:37,724 I'm sorry, is this some new youth slang for "boring"? I do try to keep up. 298 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,143 Mary is not who you think she is, hal. 299 00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,437 The whole "posh totty" thing, it's just an act. 300 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,314 Why on earth would she do that? 301 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,750 I don't know and I don't care. 302 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:48,401 But what I'm worried about is the fact that she's been stuck here 303 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:52,113 for 200 years and it's turned her into a total frothing loon. 304 00:17:53,949 --> 00:17:56,618 - Is that what's gonna happen to me? - Look... 305 00:17:57,452 --> 00:18:01,164 Even if you don't pass over for... A while, 306 00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:04,167 I'm sure you'd cope with it admirably. 307 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:07,671 You and Mary are completely different people, after all. 308 00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:14,010 Had a thing with you. Got killed. 309 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,514 Stuck here as a ghost, but mates now. 310 00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:20,642 Does that ring any bells? 311 00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:23,812 - You all right, Tom? - I'm fine. Are you? 312 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,524 Ooh. Is that somebody at the door? 313 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,948 - Tom, my young apprentice. - Larry, come on in, mate. 314 00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:42,539 Alex, hal, this is Larry, the werewolf from the talk. 315 00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:45,542 Greetings, Larry Chrysler. 316 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,627 - Hi. - Very nice. 317 00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:49,546 The room. Love the place. 318 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,133 Buffet monitor. 319 00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:54,509 Good to see you again. 320 00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:56,946 Larry's gonna teach me how to become a successful werewolf. 321 00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,471 How do you feel about that, hal? 322 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,224 - Good for you, Tom. - Yeah, it is good for me, Tom. 323 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:04,561 So, am I to take it you're both werewolves as well? 324 00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:08,064 - No. I'm a vampire. - And I'm a ghost. 325 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,483 Very good. I see what you're doing there. 326 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:13,320 Using humor to break the ice. Great stuff. 327 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,388 So I see you've brought a suitcase. 328 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:19,242 Yeah, well, my tutoring can be quite time-intensive. 329 00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,220 We thought, rather than a lot of coming and going, 330 00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:23,246 I'd just stay here for a while. 331 00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:25,915 Uh, yeah. 332 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,960 Larry's gonna stay here for a while, to train me. 333 00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:30,420 Great. 334 00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:33,402 - The more the merrier! - You're not the boss of me here, hal. 335 00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:36,301 - I can do what I like. - Yes, I know, I said it was great. 336 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,145 Great to meet you both. 337 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:52,400 - I didn't know you wanted to stay. - I thought we discussed it, hadn't we? 338 00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:54,778 Sure we did. We were thinking it, anyway. 339 00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,404 Because of the training? 340 00:19:56,488 --> 00:19:59,282 Yeah. Yeah, the training. Lots of it. 341 00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:01,326 Great stuff. 342 00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,787 When do we start? Like, is there a manual or summat? 343 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:07,749 Yes, of course there is. A vital component of the program. 344 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:12,462 Now, er, this is the most important book you'll ever own. 345 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:16,674 Er, truly got me where I am today. 346 00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,762 This book is now your Bible. I want you to live it, 347 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,515 breathe it, sleep with it... Under your pillow. 348 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:25,683 I'm just saying it's a good book. 349 00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,104 Oh, wow. Thanks, Larry. 350 00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:32,482 You say your dad taught you a few things? 351 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:37,237 Yeah, um, only steal from big shops, there's good eating on rabbit, 352 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,698 and underpants inside out buys you an extra week. 353 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:43,159 Essential life lessons. 354 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:46,162 Anything about becoming a success? Making something of yourself? 355 00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,164 Nah, not really. 356 00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:51,376 It were more about whittling and not starving to death. 357 00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:54,546 He were amazing, though, my dad. 358 00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:56,965 We were hardly ever out of each other's sight. 359 00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:58,883 He protected me from the world. 360 00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:00,969 A bit too much, maybe. 361 00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:03,555 I don't know, I just want to make him proud. 362 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,183 And I get dead frustrated when I can't, and I get things wrong and that. 363 00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:11,646 Tom, open that door. 364 00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:18,069 Did you see him go? 365 00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:21,322 Old Tom, failure Tom, he's left the building. 366 00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:24,993 Oh, right. See ya! 367 00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,705 No, no, Tom. Shun him. Shun him. 368 00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:30,081 Shun him. 369 00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:34,043 Now, 370 00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:37,589 let's get down to basics. Clothes maketh the man. 371 00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:40,925 How would you like this suit, Tom? 372 00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:43,344 To keep? You'd just give me your suit? 373 00:21:44,262 --> 00:21:48,558 It's important, vitally important to make a good first impression. 374 00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:51,603 And this little baby has done wonders for me. 375 00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:54,481 Oh, cheers, Larry. Giving me all this stuff. 376 00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:56,375 I feel as though I should give you summat in return. 377 00:21:56,399 --> 00:21:59,068 No. Not necessary, seriously. 378 00:21:59,569 --> 00:22:01,929 Having said that, there is one thing you could help me with. 379 00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:03,031 Yeah, anything. 380 00:22:03,114 --> 00:22:05,283 Well, obviously, I need to buy a new suit now. 381 00:22:05,408 --> 00:22:09,245 Um, and I've got a bit of a cash flow issue over the next few days. So... 382 00:22:09,746 --> 00:22:12,415 I'm transferring money between banks. You know how it is. 383 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:16,252 But if you could, maybe, lend me, say, £150? 384 00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:19,635 - I've got some savings. - Actually, forget it. 385 00:22:19,714 --> 00:22:22,175 I'm embarrassed for even asking. 386 00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:24,260 I'll think of something, don't worry. 387 00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:27,931 I don't know what exactly, but something will turn up. 388 00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:30,600 I'll help you out, Larry. 389 00:22:30,767 --> 00:22:32,767 But it's just a loan, though, yeah? For a few days? 390 00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:35,563 Absolutely. Absol-Larry-lutely. 391 00:22:35,647 --> 00:22:38,107 Yeah. 392 00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:52,497 - Tom? - Hello, hal. 393 00:22:52,622 --> 00:22:56,125 I've just come to congratulate you on your new position of manager. 394 00:23:00,964 --> 00:23:02,382 Thank you, Tom. 395 00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:04,342 That Larry's suit? 396 00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:06,467 You're not the only one who can wear a suit, hally. 397 00:23:07,637 --> 00:23:09,722 I got this printed off at the library. 398 00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:14,519 - Tom mcnair incorporated? - Yep. 399 00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:18,541 I think you're supposed to put something else on there, 400 00:23:18,565 --> 00:23:19,899 like a phone number or an email. 401 00:23:20,191 --> 00:23:23,820 I'll call you. Yeah, there's a new player in town. 402 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,572 And he's got the skills and the looks 403 00:23:25,697 --> 00:23:27,907 and the motivation and the skills. 404 00:23:28,533 --> 00:23:30,034 He's got the whole package. 405 00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:32,662 Quite. 406 00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:36,725 Everything okay with your breakfast there, madam? 407 00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:39,502 Everything okay? How's things, all right? 408 00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:41,421 Ange. Ange. Ange. 409 00:23:44,257 --> 00:23:46,342 Tom: They were really impressed. 410 00:23:46,426 --> 00:23:51,347 I did the power handshake, gave him my card, um, interrupted him. 411 00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:55,268 I mean, that's three of the ingredients for success pie right there, innit? 412 00:23:55,393 --> 00:23:57,145 Success pie? 413 00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:58,868 Yeah, the book. Chapter four, success pie. 414 00:23:58,896 --> 00:24:00,315 Oh, the book. Of course. 415 00:24:00,398 --> 00:24:03,735 Now, your next life lesson. Take this, 416 00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:06,613 and go and put the windscreen through on that BMW over there. 417 00:24:06,696 --> 00:24:07,947 Whose car is it? 418 00:24:08,281 --> 00:24:10,366 Let's say it's your competitor, 419 00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:13,745 who has stolen your assets and voted you off the board. 420 00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:16,247 Yeah, but whose car is it, really? 421 00:24:16,706 --> 00:24:17,749 Mine. 422 00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:20,084 Stolen by my bitch of an ex-wife. 423 00:24:20,209 --> 00:24:23,880 Who is currently spending my money, tanning herself in that spa, 424 00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:27,133 so she can look even more like the leather handbag, which I bought. 425 00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:29,385 Ha! The irony. Makes me wanna puke. 426 00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:31,262 Your ex-wife? 427 00:24:31,888 --> 00:24:35,308 - Miss thingy '92 and '94? - One and the same. 428 00:24:35,391 --> 00:24:38,519 Although 1992 was a long time ago, as one look at her will plainly tell you. 429 00:24:38,603 --> 00:24:40,313 I don't think I can do this. 430 00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:42,750 I thought you wanted to learn how to climb the mountain of success? 431 00:24:42,774 --> 00:24:44,209 Yeah, but I don't think smashing a windscreen 432 00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:45,878 is gonna help me climb the mountain of success, 433 00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:48,404 - or eat success pie, is it? - Tom, 434 00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:51,658 sometimes you have to do regrettable things to get to the top. 435 00:24:52,283 --> 00:24:54,637 And when you do, your old dad will be looking down and smiling. 436 00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:56,746 Not if I do this, he won't. 437 00:24:57,413 --> 00:25:00,166 Maybe you're right. I'm pushing you too quickly. 438 00:25:00,249 --> 00:25:03,419 Just go and let her tires down and we'll say no more about it. 439 00:25:04,754 --> 00:25:05,963 Go on. 440 00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:11,594 All of them. 441 00:25:14,263 --> 00:25:17,684 Mary: It's simple, really. I go off and have adventures 442 00:25:17,767 --> 00:25:19,644 and just make sure I'm back here 443 00:25:19,769 --> 00:25:22,480 in time for all the "prithee, lord Harry" bullshit. 444 00:25:22,605 --> 00:25:25,233 Why? That's what I don't understand. 445 00:25:25,316 --> 00:25:27,777 And what about your unfinished business? 446 00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:30,613 Oh, that's all sorted. Something about library books. 447 00:25:30,697 --> 00:25:33,866 No, I've had loads of doors appear. I just turn them down. 448 00:25:34,492 --> 00:25:36,285 What? Why? 449 00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:38,705 Hal. He needs me. 450 00:25:38,788 --> 00:25:42,125 I know he's got you, and there's been Pearl and Annie, 451 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:45,086 and those are just the ones I can remember, but... 452 00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:47,797 Me and hal have something special. 453 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,633 Something no one else could ever understand. 454 00:25:51,008 --> 00:25:52,051 Which is? 455 00:25:52,385 --> 00:25:53,803 I keep him clean. 456 00:25:54,303 --> 00:25:57,223 Seeing me once a year stops him from killing. 457 00:25:57,974 --> 00:26:01,561 And has kept him from killing for more than two centuries. 458 00:26:01,978 --> 00:26:04,981 - What do you mean? - I was his last victim. 459 00:26:05,481 --> 00:26:08,568 - Is that what he told you? - Yes. 460 00:26:13,823 --> 00:26:16,492 You know what? It's not my business. 461 00:26:16,993 --> 00:26:18,494 But I... 462 00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:22,832 Mmm! ...Just really don't think that all these lies are that healthy. 463 00:26:23,666 --> 00:26:25,668 Just tell him who you really are. 464 00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:28,379 What if he doesn't want the new me? 465 00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:34,218 Sometimes, when he looks at me, it's like... 466 00:26:38,806 --> 00:26:40,391 It's just on the tip of his tongue. 467 00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:44,395 Yeah, you two really need to have a talk. 468 00:26:44,979 --> 00:26:47,315 No. No, no, no, no. 469 00:26:48,691 --> 00:26:49,942 I'm not ready. 470 00:26:50,318 --> 00:26:52,153 Okay, listen, um, 471 00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:56,073 you've shown me your world. How about I show you mine? 472 00:26:57,575 --> 00:26:59,035 You know, come see my gaff. 473 00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:01,913 Okay. 474 00:27:14,050 --> 00:27:15,092 Cheers. 475 00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:18,679 Larry. 476 00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:22,141 - Might I have a quick word? - Shoot. 477 00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:27,772 I was just wondering how Tom's lessons were progressing? 478 00:27:28,648 --> 00:27:30,358 Yeah, very... 479 00:27:30,817 --> 00:27:33,694 We're at a delicate stage. We're breaking down barriers. 480 00:27:34,362 --> 00:27:37,490 - To replace them with? - Bridges. Castles. 481 00:27:38,199 --> 00:27:40,117 Affordable housing. 482 00:27:40,660 --> 00:27:42,888 Actually, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. 483 00:27:42,912 --> 00:27:46,123 - Did you ever meet Tom's father? - No, I never had that pleasure. 484 00:27:46,624 --> 00:27:48,864 But I'm right in thinking they kept him away from people, 485 00:27:48,918 --> 00:27:50,628 and that Tom was home-schooled? 486 00:27:50,711 --> 00:27:52,004 That was my understanding. 487 00:27:52,088 --> 00:27:55,258 Although, I don't think mcnair's lessons were exactly conventional. 488 00:27:56,008 --> 00:27:57,653 You must take some of the credit, of course, 489 00:27:57,677 --> 00:27:59,554 for helping Tom adjust to society. 490 00:27:59,637 --> 00:28:02,348 Tom's been very resourceful in that area. 491 00:28:02,473 --> 00:28:04,642 Sorry, are you saying you haven't taught him anything? 492 00:28:04,725 --> 00:28:06,870 I mean, you're obviously a man of breeding and intelligence, 493 00:28:06,894 --> 00:28:09,397 whereas Tom was almost literally raised by wolves. 494 00:28:09,939 --> 00:28:11,691 That's something of a sweeping statement. 495 00:28:11,774 --> 00:28:15,611 And yet you felt no compulsion to pass on any of your... 496 00:28:16,070 --> 00:28:19,031 Huh, fine. Not really my place. 497 00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:20,366 Unbelievable. 498 00:28:20,449 --> 00:28:22,577 I suppose the greatest test of a teacher's work 499 00:28:22,660 --> 00:28:25,913 is whether the student thrives without them. 500 00:28:27,582 --> 00:28:28,666 It'll be interesting 501 00:28:28,749 --> 00:28:31,210 to see Tom implement all the things you've taught him... 502 00:28:32,879 --> 00:28:34,463 Once you've gone. 503 00:28:37,258 --> 00:28:39,010 Once all of this is over. 504 00:28:42,013 --> 00:28:43,639 It's a big house, 505 00:28:45,308 --> 00:28:46,851 but not that big. 506 00:28:47,685 --> 00:28:50,229 How odd you must find our little setup here. 507 00:28:51,731 --> 00:28:53,149 How domesticated. 508 00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:57,153 Perhaps we are a little rigid, but that structure seems to work for us. 509 00:28:57,653 --> 00:29:00,573 And we'll do all we can to protect it. 510 00:29:01,949 --> 00:29:03,701 I'll bear that in mind. 511 00:29:07,038 --> 00:29:10,291 Rook: My situation is not unique, and I appreciate that. 512 00:29:10,374 --> 00:29:12,919 People lose their jobs every day. 513 00:29:13,002 --> 00:29:15,504 When that happens, no doubt 514 00:29:15,588 --> 00:29:18,966 other aspects of their life expand to fill the void. 515 00:29:20,134 --> 00:29:22,136 The problem with my life is, 516 00:29:22,678 --> 00:29:25,306 there's nothing else there to expand. 517 00:29:26,140 --> 00:29:28,059 I don't have a family. 518 00:29:28,142 --> 00:29:30,102 I don't have any hobbies. 519 00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:32,897 The job was my life. 520 00:29:34,649 --> 00:29:36,442 Now that's gone. 521 00:29:37,234 --> 00:29:40,279 So I find myself at something of a loose end. 522 00:29:40,363 --> 00:29:43,324 Woman: What was it that you did? Your job? 523 00:29:43,532 --> 00:29:46,369 Oh, civil service. Very dull. 524 00:29:47,912 --> 00:29:51,248 Well, that's what I always said. 525 00:29:53,167 --> 00:29:55,252 But it's something of a lie. 526 00:29:56,212 --> 00:30:00,508 My job was covert and dangerous, 527 00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:05,137 and required me to commit acts that will haunt me until the day I die. 528 00:30:06,931 --> 00:30:09,642 All in the name of holding back the tide. 529 00:30:10,810 --> 00:30:13,312 And if we simply step aside now, 530 00:30:13,396 --> 00:30:16,190 and allow that tide to wash over the world, 531 00:30:16,399 --> 00:30:19,402 then all my sacrifice has been for nothing. 532 00:30:19,652 --> 00:30:23,197 All those deaths have been for nothing. 533 00:30:25,491 --> 00:30:27,243 Do you understand? 534 00:30:29,078 --> 00:30:31,998 Woman: Would you like me to tell you what I'm wearing? 535 00:30:36,836 --> 00:30:39,255 Why not? Why not? 536 00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:47,823 Don't have to keep the suit on all the time. 537 00:30:47,847 --> 00:30:50,099 What happens if an exciting business opportunity arose 538 00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:52,643 and I'd taken it off? Look a bit stupid then, wouldn't I? 539 00:30:53,978 --> 00:30:55,146 Tom. 540 00:30:58,816 --> 00:31:00,192 I need to talk to you about Larry. 541 00:31:09,368 --> 00:31:12,371 I don't think he's quite the success he's led us to believe. 542 00:31:13,706 --> 00:31:16,125 I wanted to know why we hadn't seen him on the television. 543 00:31:16,208 --> 00:31:20,171 So I did a search, a Google, 544 00:31:20,379 --> 00:31:22,923 and it turns out he was sacked. 545 00:31:24,133 --> 00:31:27,344 - Six months ago. - You really can't stand it, can you? 546 00:31:27,762 --> 00:31:29,388 Can't stand to see me winning. 547 00:31:29,472 --> 00:31:30,973 Tom, this isn't winning. 548 00:31:36,312 --> 00:31:39,607 I've been thinking. What if I made you assistant manager? 549 00:31:39,690 --> 00:31:42,693 I don't want to be just your assistant. I want your job! 550 00:31:44,278 --> 00:31:46,840 Something tells me, now that Larry's given me the skills that I need, 551 00:31:46,864 --> 00:31:48,783 you're worried that I mightjust get it. 552 00:31:49,450 --> 00:31:51,869 Larry is a charlatan and a failure. 553 00:31:51,952 --> 00:31:54,497 He's not. He's a business guru and a motivated speaker. 554 00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:57,416 He's been filling your head with utter nonsense. 555 00:31:57,500 --> 00:32:00,086 Tom, these attitudes 556 00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:01,921 he's encouraging, 557 00:32:02,379 --> 00:32:04,006 they're shallow, they're aggressive... 558 00:32:04,090 --> 00:32:06,008 All right, okay, all right. 559 00:32:06,759 --> 00:32:08,636 Maybe he's not a very nice guy. 560 00:32:08,761 --> 00:32:11,013 Maybe that's the truth. But you know what? 561 00:32:11,097 --> 00:32:12,473 I don't care. 562 00:32:12,723 --> 00:32:14,642 'Cause nice guys finish last, hal. 563 00:32:14,725 --> 00:32:17,144 And I'm tired of finishing last. 564 00:32:17,311 --> 00:32:19,897 Because when you're there, you get to the finishing line, 565 00:32:19,980 --> 00:32:21,816 you find that the pie's already gone, 566 00:32:21,899 --> 00:32:24,193 'cause some bugger like you has already ate it. 567 00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:27,404 The success pie. 568 00:32:28,072 --> 00:32:29,949 Which is where they keep it. 569 00:32:30,074 --> 00:32:31,994 The finishing line, on top of success mountain... 570 00:32:32,034 --> 00:32:34,120 I don't really know how it works. 571 00:32:37,790 --> 00:32:39,101 You don't have to stoop to his level. 572 00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:40,876 Maybe I do, hal. 573 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,169 Because I'm sure of one thing, 574 00:32:42,253 --> 00:32:44,547 mcnair would've wanted more for me than this. 575 00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:46,215 And I'm letting him down. 576 00:32:46,966 --> 00:32:49,135 Every day I'm letting him down. 577 00:32:51,053 --> 00:32:53,806 And maybe this is a way I can make him proud of me. 578 00:33:07,111 --> 00:33:08,696 Welcome to our humble abode. 579 00:33:09,655 --> 00:33:12,658 It used to be a cheesy b&b, but I swear you would never know. 580 00:33:12,741 --> 00:33:14,326 Mmm-hmm. Don't sweat it. 581 00:33:14,410 --> 00:33:17,037 Over the years I've seen some right sh... 582 00:33:17,121 --> 00:33:21,584 Shining examples of edwardian architecture. 583 00:33:22,459 --> 00:33:23,961 Oh, Tom's here. 584 00:33:24,211 --> 00:33:25,671 I thought you'd be at work. 585 00:33:26,255 --> 00:33:29,675 Um, I didn't know we were expecting company. You should have said. 586 00:33:29,842 --> 00:33:33,554 Mary, this is Tom. And Larry, 587 00:33:34,138 --> 00:33:38,184 Tom's werewolf friend stroke lifestyle coach. 588 00:33:39,476 --> 00:33:41,187 Guilty as charged. 589 00:33:42,104 --> 00:33:44,224 You must have died a long time ago, dressed like that. 590 00:33:44,273 --> 00:33:46,734 I believe that questions as to a lady's age 591 00:33:46,817 --> 00:33:51,071 are considered inappropriate, even in this barbaric age. 592 00:33:51,155 --> 00:33:54,241 I'm loving that whole downton Abbey thing you've got going on there. 593 00:33:54,325 --> 00:33:56,076 Pretty sexy. Say something else. 594 00:33:57,661 --> 00:34:00,414 So might I take it you're Thomas' father? 595 00:34:01,707 --> 00:34:05,753 - I'm not that bloody old. - I apologize for any offense caused. 596 00:34:13,385 --> 00:34:15,221 - Lady Mary? - Lord Harry. 597 00:34:22,478 --> 00:34:25,481 You are no longer in your home, you are outside? 598 00:34:25,606 --> 00:34:30,444 Indeed. Mistress Alexandra persuaded me to take a quiet constitutional. 599 00:34:30,945 --> 00:34:33,322 Um, we were just about to have some dinner. 600 00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:35,115 Would you like to join us? 601 00:34:38,953 --> 00:34:42,164 Alex: So, 250 years. 602 00:34:42,665 --> 00:34:44,291 Man. Phew. 603 00:34:44,625 --> 00:34:47,503 That's a long time to stay on the straight and narrow. 604 00:34:47,962 --> 00:34:49,296 What's your secret, hal? 605 00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:51,173 Are my ears burning? 606 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:55,219 - So ghosts really can't eat? - No. We can't. It's tragic. 607 00:34:55,344 --> 00:34:58,389 Anyway, hal, 250 years without blood. 608 00:34:58,472 --> 00:35:01,392 - That's quite an achievement. - Larry: So, what else can't you do? 609 00:35:01,475 --> 00:35:04,037 I'm right in saying that you can't take your clothes off, aren't I? 610 00:35:04,061 --> 00:35:09,650 So, does that also mean you can't, you know, have a bath? 611 00:35:09,858 --> 00:35:13,404 No. It's a real shame. Anyway, hal, Mary, blood, discuss. 612 00:35:13,487 --> 00:35:15,864 It is unfortunately very true. 613 00:35:16,198 --> 00:35:20,786 Yet, even though I've been dead for over 200 years, 614 00:35:20,869 --> 00:35:25,416 I am sure that I bathe more regularly than some people I could think of. 615 00:35:25,541 --> 00:35:26,875 I prefer showers. 616 00:35:27,543 --> 00:35:29,229 You're just sitting in your own muck in a bath. 617 00:35:29,253 --> 00:35:31,130 Oh, forget the baths, it's the shagging I miss. 618 00:35:31,255 --> 00:35:33,132 I think I need to go. 619 00:35:41,724 --> 00:35:43,976 So I see the footsie's gone up. Crazy! 620 00:35:44,059 --> 00:35:46,687 Real pity. Real waste. 621 00:35:46,770 --> 00:35:48,522 Pretty girl like you. 622 00:35:48,605 --> 00:35:50,983 That you'll never again know the love of a man. 623 00:35:53,986 --> 00:35:56,613 Do you want to stay a man? Do you? 624 00:35:57,406 --> 00:35:58,824 - Just nod. - Alex? 625 00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:03,537 Okay. Then you don't talk to me. 626 00:36:03,620 --> 00:36:06,165 You don't look at me. You don't even think of me again. 627 00:36:06,248 --> 00:36:09,335 Because if you do, I will cut your nutsack off in the night. 628 00:36:09,835 --> 00:36:11,962 Oh, and mention one word of this to hal... 629 00:36:20,471 --> 00:36:23,599 I just gotta catch up on some work. 630 00:36:34,777 --> 00:36:36,528 What have you done? 631 00:36:37,529 --> 00:36:38,739 You've broken Mary. 632 00:36:38,822 --> 00:36:41,950 I told you. She only puts it on because she thinks that you need it. 633 00:36:42,034 --> 00:36:44,578 That's insane. Why would I need her to do such a thing? 634 00:36:44,661 --> 00:36:47,706 Because, somehow, she has this crazy idea 635 00:36:47,790 --> 00:36:49,958 that she was your last ever victim. 636 00:36:52,795 --> 00:36:55,130 - You haven't told her, have you? - No, I haven't. 637 00:36:55,214 --> 00:36:57,495 But how the hell could you let her think that for so long? 638 00:36:57,549 --> 00:36:59,301 It's not exactly an easy topic to raise. 639 00:36:59,385 --> 00:37:01,428 Hal, she is turning down doors 640 00:37:01,512 --> 00:37:03,555 because she thinks that's keeping you clean. 641 00:37:03,806 --> 00:37:05,641 - You have to tell her. - I can't. 642 00:37:06,683 --> 00:37:08,328 It would destroy her. She's far too fragile. 643 00:37:08,352 --> 00:37:10,312 Hal, does she look fragile? 644 00:37:16,985 --> 00:37:19,863 - Your mate's a nutter. - Yeah, well, yours is an arsehole. 645 00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:22,241 And a letch and a bullshitter. 646 00:37:22,825 --> 00:37:25,077 - He's got a jacuzzi. - Oh, stuff his jacuzzi. 647 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,996 Seriously, Tom, what are you even doing with that guy? 648 00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:33,168 Learning how to be like him. 649 00:37:42,177 --> 00:37:43,720 Larry? You all right, mate? 650 00:37:43,929 --> 00:37:46,432 Absolutely fine. What's on your mind there, Tom Tom? 651 00:37:46,849 --> 00:37:48,684 Bit weird down there with Mary, wasn't it? 652 00:37:48,767 --> 00:37:51,520 Oh, that. Yeah, to be honest, I'd forgotten all about that. 653 00:37:51,687 --> 00:37:54,189 It's all part of the game, Tom. All part of the game. 654 00:37:54,940 --> 00:37:57,276 - Your hand's bleeding. - Anything else? 655 00:37:58,694 --> 00:38:00,279 When are you gonna be back on the telly? 656 00:38:00,362 --> 00:38:02,239 I'd really like hal to see you in action. 657 00:38:02,364 --> 00:38:03,699 Ah, well, if you must know, 658 00:38:03,782 --> 00:38:06,201 I'm taking some leave to pursue other opportunities. 659 00:38:06,285 --> 00:38:08,537 But I'll be back on again in a couple of weeks, 660 00:38:08,704 --> 00:38:10,456 straight after the six o'clock news. 661 00:38:10,539 --> 00:38:13,750 Um, I was thinking that, 662 00:38:13,876 --> 00:38:15,961 maybe tomorrow we could go round to your house, 663 00:38:16,044 --> 00:38:19,298 do some training or go for a swim in the jacuzzi or summat? 664 00:38:19,465 --> 00:38:23,802 Uh, sorry, but the old pile now belongs to my charming ex-wife. 665 00:38:24,386 --> 00:38:26,239 We can certainly go round there and put some windows through, 666 00:38:26,263 --> 00:38:28,724 - if you're up for it? - No, thanks. 667 00:38:29,391 --> 00:38:31,435 So you ain't got a house no more, no? 668 00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:34,730 Come on, Tom. House? Job? Wife? Shackles by any other name. 669 00:38:34,897 --> 00:38:36,648 Who needs 'em, really? Ha! 670 00:38:38,984 --> 00:38:41,069 Hal was right, wasn't he? 671 00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:43,780 It's all just made-up. All just stories. 672 00:38:43,906 --> 00:38:46,366 What? I wouldn't go listening to hal. 673 00:38:46,450 --> 00:38:48,761 Look up "loser" in the dictionary, there's a picture of him. 674 00:38:48,785 --> 00:38:52,080 Or a drawing. I don't quite know how it works, but... 675 00:38:52,789 --> 00:38:54,500 You've been sleeping in your car, ain't ya? 676 00:38:55,417 --> 00:38:57,711 I've done enough dossing to know the signs. 677 00:38:57,794 --> 00:39:00,255 He's really got to you, hasn't he? 678 00:39:01,340 --> 00:39:02,508 Gotta say, I'm disappointed. 679 00:39:02,591 --> 00:39:04,927 Stop it now, Larry. It ain't working no more, mate. 680 00:39:06,261 --> 00:39:08,263 Were you ever a success, or was it all just lies? 681 00:39:08,430 --> 00:39:11,433 Look, if I ever lied to you, it was only to protect you. 682 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,685 I did have it all, once upon a time. 683 00:39:13,769 --> 00:39:16,146 Then the werewolf came, gobbled it all up. 684 00:39:16,355 --> 00:39:19,566 How? How did it gobble it all up? What does that even mean? 685 00:39:19,650 --> 00:39:21,652 You were turned as a baby, weren't you? 686 00:39:21,777 --> 00:39:23,612 You've never known anything else. 687 00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:26,031 You don't know how the wolf changes you. 688 00:39:26,114 --> 00:39:28,116 You see, it's not just one night a month. 689 00:39:28,450 --> 00:39:30,452 It's every day, every hour. 690 00:39:30,536 --> 00:39:32,663 No, it's not. Most of the time we're normal. 691 00:39:32,788 --> 00:39:35,332 How would you know? You've never seen yourself without it. 692 00:39:35,666 --> 00:39:37,292 I know it changed me. 693 00:39:37,376 --> 00:39:40,170 I've got instincts now, which I never had before. 694 00:39:41,129 --> 00:39:43,215 New drives. Aggression. 695 00:39:44,049 --> 00:39:46,051 Lust. That's how it started. 696 00:39:46,301 --> 00:39:47,844 I cheated on my wife. 697 00:39:48,136 --> 00:39:51,139 Piece by piece, the wolf took it all away. 698 00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:53,642 The houses, the job, the money. 699 00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:55,602 Well, iain't like that. I'm nothing like that. 700 00:39:55,686 --> 00:39:58,897 What, no aggression? How many vampires have you killed? 701 00:39:59,147 --> 00:40:01,608 Or maybe the wolf is holding you back in other ways. 702 00:40:01,692 --> 00:40:05,529 How would you know? Maybe there's a smart, successful Tom inside 703 00:40:05,654 --> 00:40:07,322 that has all the answers. 704 00:40:07,406 --> 00:40:09,199 Who, sadly, we'll never meet. 705 00:40:10,242 --> 00:40:13,412 Yeah, but... you gave me the book. You said if! Learned it... 706 00:40:13,495 --> 00:40:15,080 I've never even read that book. 707 00:40:15,163 --> 00:40:17,666 I don't think any of us stands a chance against the wolf. 708 00:40:17,833 --> 00:40:19,376 Because it always wins. 709 00:40:19,835 --> 00:40:22,337 For us, this is as good as it gets. 710 00:40:28,885 --> 00:40:31,763 Mary: Ah, I shouldn't have come back. 711 00:40:31,930 --> 00:40:34,433 You and hal need to talk about this. 712 00:40:35,183 --> 00:40:37,519 But he doesn't even know me anymore. 713 00:40:38,270 --> 00:40:40,188 So introduce yourself. 714 00:40:41,857 --> 00:40:45,360 And I like action films. 715 00:40:45,527 --> 00:40:48,864 Um, John woo, Jackie chan, 716 00:40:49,906 --> 00:40:53,076 and the music of metallica. 717 00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:56,705 I watch cage fighting. 718 00:40:57,039 --> 00:41:00,125 I shoplift. Quite a lot. 719 00:41:00,208 --> 00:41:06,131 And I push people over sometimes, if I don't like their shoes. 720 00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:07,924 Or their faces. 721 00:41:10,761 --> 00:41:13,764 Suppose this must all be a bit of a headfuck. 722 00:41:15,891 --> 00:41:18,810 That's certainly one way of putting it. 723 00:41:19,686 --> 00:41:21,897 Well, actually, Mary, 724 00:41:22,064 --> 00:41:25,067 hal has a little secret that he wants to tell you. 725 00:41:27,110 --> 00:41:28,445 Really? 726 00:41:31,448 --> 00:41:32,741 What's that then, hal? 727 00:41:36,078 --> 00:41:39,414 Alex has been telling me that you have been turning down doors, 728 00:41:40,707 --> 00:41:44,086 thinking that your presence here has been keeping me from killing. 729 00:41:44,586 --> 00:41:47,756 I'm sorry to break this to you, Mary, but that simply isn't true. 730 00:41:48,090 --> 00:41:50,217 You have been a loyal and close friend. 731 00:41:50,300 --> 00:41:52,094 But you weren't my last victim. 732 00:41:58,767 --> 00:42:00,769 You are... 733 00:42:02,396 --> 00:42:03,438 Shitting me. 734 00:42:03,605 --> 00:42:05,607 Many times, I tried to raise 735 00:42:05,774 --> 00:42:09,403 - the courage to tell you. - You had centuries of lying. 736 00:42:10,487 --> 00:42:16,702 Centuries of bowing and fawning, and babbling about the fucking weather. 737 00:42:16,785 --> 00:42:19,621 Centuries of knowing how I felt about you. 738 00:42:20,122 --> 00:42:24,000 Centuries of letting me think you felt the same. 739 00:42:24,126 --> 00:42:27,087 And I did. Perhaps not in that way. 740 00:42:27,838 --> 00:42:29,297 But I'm totally clean now. 741 00:42:30,132 --> 00:42:32,384 It must be over 50 years since I last killed 742 00:42:32,467 --> 00:42:34,845 - a human for blood. - Oh, well, that's okay, then. 743 00:42:34,970 --> 00:42:39,015 'Cause that only makes me an idiot for what, 200 years? 744 00:42:39,683 --> 00:42:42,602 And you knew? Wow. 745 00:42:42,978 --> 00:42:45,272 You covered for this tosser? 746 00:42:45,814 --> 00:42:47,691 But now, you're... 747 00:42:48,442 --> 00:42:50,193 You're free. 748 00:42:50,318 --> 00:42:53,697 - You're free to pass over. - Well, thank you. 749 00:42:53,822 --> 00:42:58,160 Thank you very much. You've really solved my life. 750 00:43:02,122 --> 00:43:04,624 You utter wanker. 751 00:43:10,797 --> 00:43:13,842 I'm not gonna lie, that could have gone better. 752 00:43:14,134 --> 00:43:16,303 250 years I've been visiting her. 753 00:43:16,887 --> 00:43:18,555 Five minutes with you, 754 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:21,975 and she's threatening to castrate people and accusing me of onanism. 755 00:43:22,184 --> 00:43:23,477 Accusing you of what? 756 00:43:25,228 --> 00:43:26,646 Masturbation. 757 00:43:26,813 --> 00:43:30,650 This whole business, it really makes me doubt you. 758 00:43:31,485 --> 00:43:34,821 Am I just the latest in a long line of dead girls who... 759 00:43:34,905 --> 00:43:38,200 Who you lean on, and who trust you and who you lie to? 760 00:43:42,913 --> 00:43:44,706 Sorry, couldn't help overhearing. 761 00:43:44,831 --> 00:43:47,083 I was just down there looking for something, 762 00:43:47,209 --> 00:43:48,877 for 10 minutes. 763 00:43:49,711 --> 00:43:52,589 - Why are you dressed like that? - I'm only saving the day, 764 00:43:52,714 --> 00:43:54,132 covering Tom's shift. 765 00:43:54,216 --> 00:43:57,302 I used to do bar work back in the old student days. 766 00:43:57,385 --> 00:44:00,096 - Where is Tom? - Yeah, a little bit awkward, that. 767 00:44:00,222 --> 00:44:04,643 - Erm... I think he's left. - Left what? The job? 768 00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:06,019 No, the house. 769 00:44:06,102 --> 00:44:09,481 He said something about not working out trying to be human, 770 00:44:09,564 --> 00:44:11,399 and then he packed a bag and left. 771 00:44:11,525 --> 00:44:12,984 Maybe it's for the best. 772 00:44:13,068 --> 00:44:16,238 Like you said yourself, hal, it was getting a little bit cramped. 773 00:44:17,614 --> 00:44:21,117 Oh, yeah, it's all coming back to me now. 774 00:44:24,746 --> 00:44:26,081 I will pay for that, obviously. 775 00:44:53,608 --> 00:44:55,986 - Tom, are you in there? - Tom: No. 776 00:44:59,781 --> 00:45:01,783 How did you know I was here? 777 00:45:01,908 --> 00:45:03,427 We know how much mcnair meant to you, Tom. 778 00:45:03,451 --> 00:45:05,120 His grave seemed a good bet. 779 00:45:05,287 --> 00:45:07,455 How are the funds going, Tom? 780 00:45:08,665 --> 00:45:09,916 Alex: For his gravestone? 781 00:45:10,125 --> 00:45:11,727 I've changed my mind. I don't want a gravestone. 782 00:45:11,751 --> 00:45:13,031 I've spent the money. It's gone. 783 00:45:13,128 --> 00:45:16,006 - Tom, did Larry take all the money? - He was a surveyor. 784 00:45:16,631 --> 00:45:19,634 Mcnair. Did you know that? Before he got bit. 785 00:45:21,094 --> 00:45:23,179 He never told me, I had to find it out. 786 00:45:24,806 --> 00:45:26,308 He was a success. 787 00:45:27,267 --> 00:45:29,019 And then he turned into a werewolf. 788 00:45:29,144 --> 00:45:30,979 And he ended up living in the woods, in a Van. 789 00:45:31,146 --> 00:45:34,399 And raising a son who was courageous, 790 00:45:34,482 --> 00:45:35,984 and motivated and generous. 791 00:45:36,109 --> 00:45:37,861 No, Larry was right. 792 00:45:37,986 --> 00:45:41,197 It's a waste of time, wolves trying to better themselves and fit in. 793 00:45:42,198 --> 00:45:45,535 This is where we always end up - in the woods, poaching rabbits. 794 00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:47,020 This is as good as it gets for us. 795 00:45:47,162 --> 00:45:49,748 Tom, you have one night a month to worry about. 796 00:45:49,831 --> 00:45:51,267 You are the closest to human of all of us. 797 00:45:51,291 --> 00:45:53,835 Yeah, I used to think that too. 798 00:45:54,336 --> 00:45:56,504 And then Larry put me straight. 799 00:45:56,880 --> 00:46:00,717 The wolf never sleeps. He's always there inside me, making me dumb. 800 00:46:00,842 --> 00:46:03,803 Tom, that is utter nonsense. 801 00:46:04,387 --> 00:46:06,991 And if that's what Larry's been telling you, then he is despicable. 802 00:46:07,015 --> 00:46:08,642 No, it's good. 803 00:46:08,725 --> 00:46:10,202 All this time, I thought I was the problem. 804 00:46:10,226 --> 00:46:12,979 But it's not my fault, it's the wolf. So it's okay, innit? 805 00:46:18,526 --> 00:46:20,820 - Let's say that's true. - Hal, what... 806 00:46:20,904 --> 00:46:24,199 No! Let's... let's say you have a monster inside you. 807 00:46:24,908 --> 00:46:26,743 All the time. 808 00:46:26,910 --> 00:46:30,705 Pulling at your strings, tormenting you, itching to see you fail. 809 00:46:31,706 --> 00:46:33,375 Well, join the club. 810 00:46:34,250 --> 00:46:37,087 Come on in! Because if you do, if all of that is true, 811 00:46:37,879 --> 00:46:40,215 then this is where you prove your worth. 812 00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:43,843 By fighting it. By defying it. 813 00:46:43,927 --> 00:46:45,345 By proving it wrong. 814 00:46:45,428 --> 00:46:49,182 By standing toe to toe with it every day and spitting in its face. 815 00:46:49,349 --> 00:46:52,036 Larry tell you that he lost his wife and his job because of the wolf? 816 00:46:52,060 --> 00:46:54,038 Tom, whatever Larry's problems are, you can be damn sure 817 00:46:54,062 --> 00:46:56,147 they're nothing to do with him being a werewolf, 818 00:46:56,231 --> 00:46:59,192 and everything to do with him being a failure! 819 00:46:59,901 --> 00:47:02,779 You are nothing like him. 820 00:47:03,279 --> 00:47:07,075 You are stronger in every way. You are a good man. 821 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:08,618 Best I've ever known. 822 00:47:08,743 --> 00:47:11,037 Not a success, though, am I? 823 00:47:12,414 --> 00:47:15,792 Yes, you are. By all the measures that matter. 824 00:47:16,292 --> 00:47:19,421 That's just a wishy-washy way of saying "failure", isn't it? 825 00:47:19,754 --> 00:47:22,882 Look, I know both of you mean well. But this is for the best. Really, it is. 826 00:47:22,966 --> 00:47:25,093 I know where I am in the woods. It's like coming home. 827 00:47:25,218 --> 00:47:28,596 I don't have to dress up or learn stupid rules. 828 00:47:29,180 --> 00:47:31,683 I can stop pretending I'm normal. 829 00:47:31,766 --> 00:47:33,727 I don't have to try for anything more. 830 00:47:34,436 --> 00:47:35,770 This is enough for me. 831 00:47:37,272 --> 00:47:38,606 It's enough. 832 00:47:59,794 --> 00:48:01,463 - Out. - I'm sorry? 833 00:48:01,629 --> 00:48:04,257 I'll spell it out. You. Gone. Now! 834 00:48:05,050 --> 00:48:07,302 I'm guessing this is something to do with Tom, right? 835 00:48:07,427 --> 00:48:11,473 Look, whatever he's chosen to believe, it's got nothing to do with me. 836 00:48:12,098 --> 00:48:14,642 We both know he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. 837 00:48:14,726 --> 00:48:16,978 You've got five minutes to pack your case. 838 00:48:17,645 --> 00:48:18,813 But this is my home, hal. 839 00:48:18,897 --> 00:48:21,417 Do you think if you say something enough times it makes it true? 840 00:48:21,983 --> 00:48:23,401 "This is my home?" 841 00:48:23,651 --> 00:48:25,487 "It wasn't me, it was the wolf?" 842 00:48:25,570 --> 00:48:28,114 - You know nothing of the wolf. - But I know people. 843 00:48:29,115 --> 00:48:31,910 I know the lies they tell themselves to cover up their own failings. 844 00:48:31,993 --> 00:48:35,163 There's only one person to blame for what's happened to you, 845 00:48:35,997 --> 00:48:37,832 and he's standing right in front of me. 846 00:48:37,957 --> 00:48:40,502 Shut your mouth, you arrogant little shit. 847 00:48:41,169 --> 00:48:42,337 You don't know me. 848 00:48:42,462 --> 00:48:44,672 - You don't scare me either. - I should. 849 00:48:45,006 --> 00:48:48,176 Because there is something within me that I've been holding back, 850 00:48:48,301 --> 00:48:50,595 and it so wants to be free. 851 00:48:51,262 --> 00:48:54,849 And what you did to Tom has given it the perfect excuse. 852 00:48:55,266 --> 00:48:57,519 - Ooh. - This is your chance, 853 00:48:58,353 --> 00:49:01,523 Larry, your only chance to be the wise man who walks away 854 00:49:02,273 --> 00:49:04,526 and lives to see another day. 855 00:49:41,688 --> 00:49:44,482 - Alex: Do you know how this ends? - What? 856 00:49:44,649 --> 00:49:46,985 You, here, 857 00:49:47,819 --> 00:49:49,237 in a tent. 858 00:49:49,863 --> 00:49:51,531 You know how this ends? 859 00:49:54,075 --> 00:49:56,911 She gave up the fight, she let it overwhelm her. 860 00:49:57,078 --> 00:49:59,914 Now she's all alone and mad as a badger. 861 00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:03,168 - I'm nothing like her. - Yeah, neither am I. 862 00:50:03,918 --> 00:50:05,086 Yet. 863 00:50:05,253 --> 00:50:08,256 I bet she didn't plan on ending up like that, either. 864 00:50:11,885 --> 00:50:15,263 You've got to stay part of something, you know? 865 00:50:16,055 --> 00:50:18,933 You've got to stay anchored. 866 00:50:20,518 --> 00:50:22,437 And it's okay for you because, 867 00:50:22,562 --> 00:50:24,355 well, you can be seen and do stuff. 868 00:50:24,439 --> 00:50:28,860 Whereas the only thing I can be part of is the Tom, hal and Alex gang. 869 00:50:29,110 --> 00:50:30,778 So I'd be coming home for you? 870 00:50:31,779 --> 00:50:32,864 Yeah. 871 00:50:34,365 --> 00:50:36,743 Yeah, I'm just gonna put it out there. 872 00:50:38,203 --> 00:50:40,872 I want you to come back, because... 873 00:50:42,457 --> 00:50:45,126 Well, because Mary has scared the shit out of me. 874 00:50:46,544 --> 00:50:48,713 And I'm scared that, without you two... 875 00:50:49,797 --> 00:50:51,799 That, well, that's gonna be me 876 00:50:51,925 --> 00:50:54,135 crouched over a bog watching other people shag. 877 00:50:56,262 --> 00:50:58,306 Long story. And... 878 00:50:58,431 --> 00:51:00,433 It's about you as well. 879 00:51:00,975 --> 00:51:03,228 You're the best out of all of us, Tom. 880 00:51:03,978 --> 00:51:05,647 You just don't realize it. 881 00:51:10,735 --> 00:51:12,987 I've got a surprise for you. 882 00:51:13,071 --> 00:51:15,490 Well, there's a coincidence. 883 00:51:17,784 --> 00:51:19,077 Mary: Hello, Alex. 884 00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,664 Hal was just telling me how truly sorry he is for this whole business. 885 00:51:22,747 --> 00:51:24,791 It was really quite moving. 886 00:51:25,792 --> 00:51:29,337 Mary, you don't want to do this. 887 00:51:29,796 --> 00:51:32,006 Why do people always say that? 888 00:51:32,131 --> 00:51:35,677 This is exactly what I want to do, which is why I'm doing it. 889 00:51:35,843 --> 00:51:39,264 Mary, I am eternally grateful to you 890 00:51:39,847 --> 00:51:41,742 for all the years you dedicated to my well-being. 891 00:51:41,766 --> 00:51:43,977 Oh my god, do you ever listen to yourself? 892 00:51:44,352 --> 00:51:47,313 It's like the shipping forecast took a shit in your ear. 893 00:51:47,438 --> 00:51:51,359 You were my rock. You helped me stay clean for so many years. 894 00:51:51,484 --> 00:51:53,528 That is worth more to me than I can say! 895 00:51:53,820 --> 00:51:56,531 Yeah, but it didn't last forever, did it? 896 00:51:56,698 --> 00:51:58,366 So, then you drink again, 897 00:51:58,491 --> 00:52:00,785 and then you're clean again, and then you drink again. 898 00:52:00,868 --> 00:52:02,704 On, and on, and on, and on. 899 00:52:02,829 --> 00:52:05,665 How long until you kill again, hal? 900 00:52:06,332 --> 00:52:09,627 How many lives will I be saving when I kill you today? 901 00:52:44,245 --> 00:52:48,166 Oh! My little girl's all grown up. 902 00:52:49,334 --> 00:52:52,211 But I've been doing this for a very long time. 903 00:53:01,554 --> 00:53:03,681 Tom: It's all right! I've got it, I think! 904 00:53:04,599 --> 00:53:06,184 You can just run off, you know. 905 00:53:06,893 --> 00:53:08,936 - We've got this. - What? 906 00:53:09,020 --> 00:53:11,439 I said, "we have got this." 907 00:53:13,024 --> 00:53:14,859 Alex: He's our responsibility now. 908 00:53:15,693 --> 00:53:17,974 We'll make sure that he doesn't kill again. Won't we, Tom? 909 00:53:18,279 --> 00:53:20,698 Absolutely. Can we just wrap this up now, please? 910 00:53:20,782 --> 00:53:22,950 Mmm, no. He needs to suffer. 911 00:53:23,076 --> 00:53:25,745 Every day he fights with the monster he might become. 912 00:53:26,454 --> 00:53:27,955 You think that isn't suffering? 913 00:53:28,289 --> 00:53:31,459 You've had centuries of making him your problem. 914 00:53:32,085 --> 00:53:35,296 I know it hurts, and I know that your heart is breaking, 915 00:53:35,380 --> 00:53:37,590 but it is time to let go of this. 916 00:53:39,133 --> 00:53:40,593 He's our problem now. 917 00:53:51,145 --> 00:53:53,439 It's okay. I'm fine. Don't worry about me. 918 00:53:53,940 --> 00:53:54,982 Don't worry. 919 00:54:09,288 --> 00:54:10,790 Alex: So, what now? 920 00:54:11,707 --> 00:54:14,335 I guess you don't have to keep coming back here anymore. 921 00:54:17,004 --> 00:54:19,632 I think it's high time for a new country. 922 00:54:20,049 --> 00:54:22,844 And maybe a whole new personality. Yeah. 923 00:54:23,177 --> 00:54:26,305 I could be a ditsy tourist. 924 00:54:26,889 --> 00:54:28,683 Or a crazy eco-warrior. 925 00:54:28,808 --> 00:54:32,395 Go scare the shit out of some loggers in the Amazon. 926 00:54:33,896 --> 00:54:35,523 He's not a bad man. 927 00:54:36,315 --> 00:54:37,733 Not anymore. 928 00:54:38,025 --> 00:54:39,902 Where have I heard that before? 929 00:54:40,194 --> 00:54:43,990 Oh, yeah. It was me for 250 years. 930 00:54:44,699 --> 00:54:47,952 Right. Why don't we just try and leave this on a civil note, hmm? 931 00:54:48,035 --> 00:54:49,745 How's that sound? 932 00:54:56,085 --> 00:55:00,882 Goodbye, lady Mary. It has certainly been an experience. 933 00:55:01,215 --> 00:55:03,217 I hope you know what you're taking on? 934 00:55:04,218 --> 00:55:06,846 'Cause the man that killed me isn't gone, he's just sleeping. 935 00:55:06,929 --> 00:55:08,556 And he's a very good liar. 936 00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:12,894 How long until you're the one holding the stake? 937 00:55:25,406 --> 00:55:27,241 So, hejust up and left? 938 00:55:27,783 --> 00:55:30,578 I'll be honest, Tom, I didn't leave him a lot of choice. 939 00:55:31,078 --> 00:55:32,246 Good riddance. 940 00:55:33,122 --> 00:55:35,166 He was a bit of a wrong 'UN, wasn't he? 941 00:55:35,249 --> 00:55:37,877 I've been a bit of an idiot. Sorry, hal. 942 00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:41,088 - You've nothing to apologize for. - No, I have. I let him get to me. 943 00:55:41,214 --> 00:55:43,400 The wolf ain't holding me back. Nothing's holding me back. 944 00:55:43,424 --> 00:55:46,344 I just gotta try harder, that's all. I can be anything I want to be. 945 00:55:46,427 --> 00:55:47,845 We all can. 946 00:55:47,929 --> 00:55:50,449 That's quite an insight. Maybe I should spend some time in the woods. 947 00:55:50,473 --> 00:55:53,017 No, you don't want to do that. It's crap, damp and itchy. 948 00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:54,912 That's why I came home, really. I needed a shower. 949 00:55:54,936 --> 00:55:57,063 Of course it is. 950 00:55:57,939 --> 00:55:59,357 Hal, while I've got you, mate. 951 00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,442 Thatjob opportunity, is it still open? 952 00:56:01,817 --> 00:56:03,778 - Assistant manager? - That's the bunny. 953 00:56:04,570 --> 00:56:05,810 It's yours if you want it, Tom. 954 00:56:06,405 --> 00:56:10,243 Well, I'll have my people call your people and set summat up. 955 00:56:11,285 --> 00:56:12,453 You do that. 956 00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:16,457 Mary didn't know you like we know you, hal. You're a good bloke. 957 00:56:17,083 --> 00:56:18,251 Thank you. 958 00:56:22,463 --> 00:56:24,382 Hal: This is your chance, 959 00:56:24,465 --> 00:56:27,802 Larry, your only chance to be the wise man who walks away 960 00:56:28,469 --> 00:56:30,638 and lives to see another day. 961 00:56:36,310 --> 00:56:38,354 So, we're more alike than I thought. 962 00:56:38,479 --> 00:56:40,791 - We are nothing alike. - When you look at me, you just see 963 00:56:40,815 --> 00:56:43,734 - the monster you're hiding. - You believe whatever you want. Just go. 964 00:56:43,818 --> 00:56:45,903 I'm a little too wild for your liking, aren't I? 965 00:56:45,987 --> 00:56:48,656 A little too unpredictable, little too complete. 966 00:56:48,823 --> 00:56:50,968 It's clearly helped you make such a success of your life. 967 00:56:50,992 --> 00:56:53,286 Didn't you tell Tom all that stuff was unimportant? 968 00:56:53,369 --> 00:56:56,122 Instead, I've got no struggle, no tug-of-war, 969 00:56:56,289 --> 00:56:58,249 just one voice, one life, one me. 970 00:56:58,332 --> 00:57:00,293 Ooh. Seeing that's gotta hurt. 971 00:57:00,376 --> 00:57:02,136 I strongly suggest you take a step backwards. 972 00:57:02,169 --> 00:57:05,214 You know what? I think... 973 00:57:05,339 --> 00:57:07,425 You're just one big PR exercise. 974 00:57:07,508 --> 00:57:10,511 You think I'm a fraud? Well, I guess you'd know the signs. 975 00:57:10,720 --> 00:57:12,179 I'll huff and I'll puff. 976 00:57:12,346 --> 00:57:14,473 Ooh! Come on, let's see this big bad hal 977 00:57:14,557 --> 00:57:16,827 - that's got everyone so scared. - You don't know what you're doing. 978 00:57:16,851 --> 00:57:19,979 Maybe I do. Maybe I want this. Maybe I want to see the monster. 979 00:57:20,521 --> 00:57:23,357 Come on. Let him out, let's play. If he's even real! 980 00:57:23,691 --> 00:57:26,027 You've got the others fooled, it's not exactly hard, is it? 981 00:57:26,152 --> 00:57:27,194 A slag and a retard. 982 00:57:29,530 --> 00:57:30,865 You want to talk to the real me? 983 00:57:38,414 --> 00:57:41,500 Hello, Larry. Here I am. Did you want to speak to me? 984 00:57:42,668 --> 00:57:44,670 Hello? Hello? 985 00:58:16,702 --> 00:58:17,870 Hello? 986 00:58:18,412 --> 00:58:20,414 I believe I have some work for you. 987 00:58:27,463 --> 00:58:29,090 I'll be right over. 988 00:58:45,981 --> 00:58:48,401 Mary: How long until you kill again, hal? 989 00:58:55,825 --> 00:58:58,661 Bobby. Excellent. Yes. 990 00:58:59,620 --> 00:59:02,748 Bobby: Mr. Rook always says that I'm a savage and deadly predator. 991 00:59:03,416 --> 00:59:06,752 Crumb: There is no Ian. There is only crumb. 992 00:59:08,295 --> 00:59:09,839 Let's do this. 75209

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.