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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,108 --> 00:00:09,427 ( Gary groans ) God, that is really bad. 2 00:00:09,603 --> 00:00:11,363 Can't we get this shit out of here? 3 00:00:11,398 --> 00:00:12,866 Not until the shutdown is over. 4 00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:14,567 - The garbage collection is suspended... - ( Bags rustle ) 5 00:00:14,602 --> 00:00:16,370 - ( Shrieks ) - Wait, what? 6 00:00:16,404 --> 00:00:18,839 - ( Scoffs ) - Did I hear the VP scream? 7 00:00:18,873 --> 00:00:22,342 No, that was me. And it was a shout. 8 00:00:22,376 --> 00:00:24,278 There was a rat on the garbage, 9 00:00:24,312 --> 00:00:26,113 so I shouted to scare it off. 10 00:00:26,147 --> 00:00:29,584 - That was a man's voice? - Yeah, 'cause I'm a man. 11 00:00:29,618 --> 00:00:32,087 I have a man's voice. 12 00:00:32,121 --> 00:00:34,423 Yeah, that's right. Walk away. 13 00:00:34,458 --> 00:00:36,592 Walk away. 14 00:00:37,594 --> 00:00:39,029 ( Chuckles ) 15 00:00:39,063 --> 00:00:41,265 ( Theme music playing ) 16 00:00:51,912 --> 00:00:54,380 Gary: I swear to God, it was massive. 17 00:00:54,414 --> 00:00:56,049 - It was like a pony. - Squeak, squeak. 18 00:00:56,083 --> 00:00:57,684 God! Stop! That's not cool. 19 00:00:57,718 --> 00:01:00,387 Okay, guys, I'm not gonna drag this out. 20 00:01:00,421 --> 00:01:01,554 We're in shutdown mode. 21 00:01:01,589 --> 00:01:03,423 I've got to have a skeleton staff. 22 00:01:03,457 --> 00:01:05,292 - So Keith stays, right? - What? 23 00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:07,762 Keith. He's skinny like a skeleton. 24 00:01:07,796 --> 00:01:09,664 Ma'am, please. I can't afford to be furloughed. 25 00:01:09,698 --> 00:01:11,966 - No, you're not. But, Dan, you are. - Ma'am. 26 00:01:12,001 --> 00:01:14,136 Yeah, you know, you two do similar jobs. 27 00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:15,971 It just makes economic sense for you to go, Dan. 28 00:01:16,005 --> 00:01:17,506 Does that mean he makes more money than I do? 29 00:01:17,541 --> 00:01:19,275 Selina: Anyway, the deal is it's not going to be long 30 00:01:19,309 --> 00:01:21,010 because I've got a meeting with the Speaker today. 31 00:01:21,045 --> 00:01:22,479 - Is that correct? - Today, yes. 32 00:01:22,513 --> 00:01:23,947 So I'm gonna shut down the shutdown. 33 00:01:24,015 --> 00:01:25,515 Gary: It looks like it's between you and me. 34 00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:27,150 Without me, this office will implode. 35 00:01:27,185 --> 00:01:29,787 Gary, the Secret Service is calling you Girly Shirley Temple. 36 00:01:29,821 --> 00:01:30,988 - So you need to just cut... - Sue. 37 00:01:31,023 --> 00:01:32,023 - Yeah? - You're going home. 38 00:01:32,057 --> 00:01:33,224 Oh! 39 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:36,461 - Yeah, I'm sorry. - Fine. 40 00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:38,664 I need a moment. ( Crying ) 41 00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:41,066 Oh, man, that's tough. 42 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,435 Oh, my God. I feel so bad for her. 43 00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:45,137 - Come on, she had to go. - Poor Sue. 44 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:47,406 - Poor Sue. - I guess I'll be heading out. 45 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,844 Okay. I need to remind you you cannot make work-related contact with anyone 46 00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:53,280 from this administration and you're forbidden by law 47 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,382 from entering the West Wing or EEOB. 48 00:01:55,417 --> 00:01:57,285 Actually, you did not need to remind me of that. 49 00:01:57,319 --> 00:01:59,387 - I know, but I wanted to. - Laters. 50 00:01:59,421 --> 00:02:01,022 Wow, he's taking that well. 51 00:02:01,056 --> 00:02:02,991 He's like Spock. He doesn't show his emotions. 52 00:02:03,025 --> 00:02:04,926 - Ever? - Ever. 53 00:02:04,961 --> 00:02:06,795 Ever? 54 00:02:06,830 --> 00:02:08,964 - No, not even then. - You're kidding me. 55 00:02:08,999 --> 00:02:10,533 I saw him laugh once really hard 56 00:02:10,567 --> 00:02:12,435 when the security guy fell off his Segway. 57 00:02:13,537 --> 00:02:15,972 Is laughter an emotion? 58 00:02:16,006 --> 00:02:18,141 Full day spa package. 59 00:02:18,175 --> 00:02:19,976 No, I think you'll find it is possible. 60 00:02:20,044 --> 00:02:21,244 Sue Wilson. 61 00:02:21,279 --> 00:02:23,847 Valued and, if need be, aggressive client. 62 00:02:23,881 --> 00:02:26,717 Can you set up a lunch with him? Great. 63 00:02:26,751 --> 00:02:29,119 No, no, no. Just browsing the store of life. 64 00:02:29,153 --> 00:02:30,887 Section marked "what if." 65 00:02:30,922 --> 00:02:33,156 No, no, network the bejesus... 66 00:02:35,093 --> 00:02:36,593 Network the bejesus out of me. 67 00:02:36,661 --> 00:02:38,996 I want people to be sick of the sight of my face. 68 00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:40,597 Very funny, Carl. 69 00:02:40,631 --> 00:02:42,666 Gary, I don't know how to do that. 70 00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:45,234 Oh, ma'am. Oh, oh, oh. Sorry. 71 00:02:45,269 --> 00:02:47,470 Andrew donating to both parties is all over the blogs. 72 00:02:47,504 --> 00:02:50,239 - Who the hell keeps stirring the shit pot? - Both: Roger Furlong. 73 00:02:50,307 --> 00:02:52,408 Thought that, too. So obvious, Furlong. 74 00:02:52,475 --> 00:02:54,243 Wow, it's like anal leakage. 75 00:02:54,277 --> 00:02:56,879 The donations, the shitty book about me and Andrew 76 00:02:56,913 --> 00:02:58,314 having some sort of fake relationship, 77 00:02:58,348 --> 00:03:01,016 the land deal from, like, ages ago. 78 00:03:01,051 --> 00:03:03,885 Somebody bring me the chinless head of Roger Furlong. 79 00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,355 Well, in the acknowledgments, the author says... 80 00:03:06,389 --> 00:03:08,024 Why do you have a copy of that? 81 00:03:08,058 --> 00:03:09,825 So I can refute it to people. It's my refuting copy. 82 00:03:09,859 --> 00:03:11,527 Get rid of it. Refuse it. 83 00:03:11,561 --> 00:03:13,128 Okay, look, if the VP did have a window, 84 00:03:13,162 --> 00:03:15,130 it'd be a high one and she'd push you out of it. 85 00:03:15,165 --> 00:03:17,933 - Ooh, that's very good. - I'm doing my impression of Sue. 86 00:03:17,968 --> 00:03:20,336 - Yeah, that's very good. - What? 87 00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:23,672 You're pregnant? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I did not mean that. 88 00:03:23,707 --> 00:03:26,108 Listen, if you call next week, I can probably fit you in, okay? 89 00:03:26,143 --> 00:03:27,777 Congratulations. 90 00:03:27,812 --> 00:03:29,345 Jonah: Well, 'ello, governors. 91 00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:31,748 Pickle me eels and tickle me belly 92 00:03:31,782 --> 00:03:34,818 'cause I am off to merry London Town 93 00:03:34,852 --> 00:03:37,020 for a right fuckabout, eh? 94 00:03:37,088 --> 00:03:39,055 Innit, though? Huh? 95 00:03:39,090 --> 00:03:40,490 Are you going to the G8 conference in London? 96 00:03:40,525 --> 00:03:43,027 Yes, I am, Gary. Thank you for asking. 97 00:03:43,061 --> 00:03:44,762 Yes, I am. 98 00:03:44,796 --> 00:03:48,065 It is a city where women are literally drunk all day. 99 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:51,069 And I am going to mind their gaps, my friend. 100 00:03:51,103 --> 00:03:54,506 But I need my passport renewed, so can I speak to the veep? 101 00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:56,608 Why do you need her for that? 102 00:03:56,642 --> 00:03:59,711 Well, cum-for-brains, the government is shut down, 103 00:03:59,746 --> 00:04:01,780 so all the passport offices are closed. 104 00:04:01,815 --> 00:04:03,382 So I need Selina to pull some strings for me. 105 00:04:03,416 --> 00:04:06,251 So get Sue. 106 00:04:06,286 --> 00:04:08,854 Where's Sue? Where's Sue? 107 00:04:08,888 --> 00:04:11,289 Who's the new Sue? Me. 108 00:04:12,492 --> 00:04:14,159 Would you like an appointment, Mr. Ryan? 109 00:04:14,194 --> 00:04:16,929 Uh, yes, new Sue, I would like to make an appointment. 110 00:04:16,997 --> 00:04:19,165 - Suck it. - Ha ha! 111 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,700 ( Amy chuckles ) 112 00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,236 Chung: Look around you. 113 00:04:23,271 --> 00:04:26,172 People out of work. Garbage in the streets. 114 00:04:26,207 --> 00:04:28,275 Ordinary folks suffering. 115 00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:30,811 Sometimes I feel I don't know my own party. 116 00:04:30,845 --> 00:04:32,913 See, this is the problem with high-definition. 117 00:04:32,947 --> 00:04:34,882 You don't want to see a dick in hi-def. 118 00:04:34,916 --> 00:04:37,117 How can they allow this shutdown to happen? 119 00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:39,219 Do Washington's overpaid lawmakers 120 00:04:39,287 --> 00:04:40,921 not care about ordinary people? 121 00:04:40,955 --> 00:04:42,656 What? I'm not overpaid. 122 00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:45,292 I'm independently wealthy. All right? Sorry. 123 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,861 They need to cut a deal and vanquish the stench. 124 00:04:47,895 --> 00:04:51,264 Ma'am, the stench at your home is gone. 125 00:04:51,298 --> 00:04:53,099 - Thanks to me. - What? 126 00:04:53,134 --> 00:04:55,902 You know that stinky garbage outside your home? 127 00:04:55,936 --> 00:04:58,906 I, as Sue, had a private company take it away. 128 00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:00,941 What? Why would you do that? 129 00:05:00,975 --> 00:05:02,809 Amy: That was not a good idea, Gary. 130 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,945 That wasn't the reaction I was expecting. 131 00:05:04,979 --> 00:05:06,613 Come on, Gary. Everybody in Garbagetown 132 00:05:06,647 --> 00:05:08,615 has to live with the stink except for the... 133 00:05:08,649 --> 00:05:12,118 ( feminine British accent ) uppity princess in her perfumed palace. 134 00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:14,120 Is what other people would say. 135 00:05:14,155 --> 00:05:15,889 I'm not saying that. Not me. 136 00:05:15,923 --> 00:05:17,523 Wait a minute, hold on now. 137 00:05:17,558 --> 00:05:20,192 So now some private contractor 138 00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:21,594 who has not been vetted 139 00:05:21,628 --> 00:05:23,663 could go through all of my trash 140 00:05:23,697 --> 00:05:25,398 and put it up on the... 141 00:05:25,466 --> 00:05:27,900 on the Internet? 142 00:05:27,935 --> 00:05:29,502 I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean to do that. 143 00:05:29,536 --> 00:05:31,437 You've got to go and get the garbage bags back. 144 00:05:31,471 --> 00:05:34,673 Okay. Yes, ma'am. Wait, how am I gonna know which bags are yours? 145 00:05:36,576 --> 00:05:39,645 Do you want to let me know some of the things that are in the bags? 146 00:05:39,679 --> 00:05:42,080 Ahem, can I just... can I talk to you privately just for a second? 147 00:05:42,115 --> 00:05:44,049 Yeah, sure. 148 00:05:46,218 --> 00:05:47,385 - ( Door closes ) - What the...? 149 00:05:47,420 --> 00:05:48,920 - I don't know. - Fuck. 150 00:06:00,766 --> 00:06:02,233 ( Coffee machine beeping ) 151 00:06:05,203 --> 00:06:07,038 - Selina: Be quick. - Yes, ma'am. 152 00:06:10,843 --> 00:06:13,277 Selina: So me and the Speaker, I think we're gonna end this. 153 00:06:13,312 --> 00:06:15,513 Well, POTUS knows we have to get out of shutdown ASAP. 154 00:06:15,548 --> 00:06:17,182 It's fucking us all every which way. 155 00:06:17,216 --> 00:06:19,785 Yeah. Speaking of which... 156 00:06:19,819 --> 00:06:21,620 Ma'am? 157 00:06:21,654 --> 00:06:25,625 Um, I've been seeing Andrew. 158 00:06:27,061 --> 00:06:28,628 Seeing him? 159 00:06:28,662 --> 00:06:32,299 Like you would see someone for lunch or a game of cards? 160 00:06:32,334 --> 00:06:34,068 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 161 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:37,638 I mean, we've been having lunch and then we've been having sex. 162 00:06:37,706 --> 00:06:39,440 And not really cards so much. 163 00:06:39,474 --> 00:06:41,542 Just, you know, just, like, sex. 164 00:06:41,576 --> 00:06:43,544 Oh, God, Amy. Can you tell me what to do? 165 00:06:43,578 --> 00:06:45,046 - Honestly? - Yeah. 166 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,349 You dump him overboard like the toxic waste he is. 167 00:06:48,383 --> 00:06:50,718 - He will kill your career. - Come on, Amy. 168 00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:53,755 It is just so good. 169 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:56,491 You just have no idea. And it's stress relief. 170 00:06:56,526 --> 00:06:58,327 You know, endorphins. 171 00:06:58,361 --> 00:07:01,664 Okay, then you see... see where it goes. 172 00:07:01,698 --> 00:07:04,433 - No, I have to end it. - Yeah. 173 00:07:04,468 --> 00:07:06,668 But I can't. 174 00:07:06,703 --> 00:07:08,504 ( Elevator bell dings ) 175 00:07:08,538 --> 00:07:10,940 ( Doors open ) 176 00:07:10,974 --> 00:07:14,243 ( Sighs ) I'm glad we talked. On the same page. 177 00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:19,180 I don't actually have to touch the trash, do I? 178 00:07:19,215 --> 00:07:20,849 Yes, you've got to embrace it. 179 00:07:20,883 --> 00:07:22,684 You've got to help me get the garbage, put it in your car. 180 00:07:22,718 --> 00:07:24,786 We'll take it to the residence and I'll help you get a passport. 181 00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,621 So you're the guys who want your trash back? 182 00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,055 - Yeah. Are you Mr. Walker? - Yes. 183 00:07:28,090 --> 00:07:29,757 - Hey, I'm Gary Walsh. - It's a pleasure. 184 00:07:29,791 --> 00:07:32,260 - Jonah Ryan. West Wing. - Hi. 185 00:07:32,294 --> 00:07:34,262 - So, our trash? - Your trash? 186 00:07:34,296 --> 00:07:36,097 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's mine now. 187 00:07:36,131 --> 00:07:38,833 - Oh. - So what's my end? 188 00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:40,368 Okay, sir, this is a government matter, 189 00:07:40,402 --> 00:07:42,536 so it would be best if you cooperated. 190 00:07:42,571 --> 00:07:44,238 Are you threatening me, Pez head? 191 00:07:44,272 --> 00:07:46,807 Because we got a compactor that takes shit 192 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,375 and turns it into cubes. 193 00:07:48,410 --> 00:07:49,910 Okay. ( Laughs ) 194 00:07:49,945 --> 00:07:52,379 Could you just excuse us for one moment? Thank you so much. 195 00:07:52,414 --> 00:07:54,648 ( Laughs ) What the hell are you doing? 196 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,416 We have to offer him something. 197 00:07:56,451 --> 00:07:58,485 Why don't you offer to blow him over by the recycled glass? 198 00:07:58,520 --> 00:07:59,954 It would throw up some interesting light effects. 199 00:07:59,988 --> 00:08:01,589 That would be romantic, wouldn't it? 200 00:08:01,623 --> 00:08:04,091 It's a shame you're not going to London. 201 00:08:04,126 --> 00:08:06,193 Okay, fine. You know what? 202 00:08:06,228 --> 00:08:08,062 I'm gonna offer him a tour of the West Wing. 203 00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:10,130 Civilians love that shit. 204 00:08:10,164 --> 00:08:12,299 They get so hot for it, I call it the Wet Wing. 205 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,234 - Okay, that's disrespectful. - It's a building, Gary. 206 00:08:14,268 --> 00:08:16,435 - It doesn't have feelings. - It has a spirit. 207 00:08:16,503 --> 00:08:20,105 No, it doesn't. Sir, Mr. Walsh and I 208 00:08:20,140 --> 00:08:21,974 would love to offer you a private, exclusive tour 209 00:08:22,008 --> 00:08:24,076 of the West Wing of the White House. 210 00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:25,711 - Sure, that sounds like fun. - Great. 211 00:08:25,745 --> 00:08:27,179 Oh, wait. Did I say fun? 212 00:08:27,246 --> 00:08:29,881 I meant like you think I'm a dick. 213 00:08:29,915 --> 00:08:32,583 ( Laughs ) What would you like? 214 00:08:32,618 --> 00:08:35,086 I would like a visit from the vice president. 215 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,255 - Oh. - I'd like to have her take a tour. 216 00:08:37,289 --> 00:08:39,157 I think it'd be good for business. 217 00:08:39,191 --> 00:08:42,193 "Vice president applauds shit compaction." 218 00:08:43,529 --> 00:08:45,631 Okay, we can do that. Yeah. 219 00:08:48,768 --> 00:08:50,669 Selina: Boy, I had forgotten 220 00:08:50,703 --> 00:08:52,070 how nice this office was, Jim. 221 00:08:52,104 --> 00:08:53,638 It is nice, isn't it? 222 00:08:53,673 --> 00:08:55,640 These chairs are worth a fortune. 223 00:08:55,675 --> 00:08:57,742 - Are they? - Uncomfortable as hell, though. 224 00:08:57,776 --> 00:08:59,611 - Yeah. Yeah. - Right? 225 00:08:59,645 --> 00:09:02,547 Well, people in the old days lived in discomfort most of the time. 226 00:09:02,581 --> 00:09:05,149 - Oh, well, that's true. - They were laced into their clothing. 227 00:09:05,184 --> 00:09:06,984 Freezing cold or hot as hell. 228 00:09:07,019 --> 00:09:10,288 - Hard chairs and they all stank. - Tough times. Tough times. 229 00:09:10,322 --> 00:09:13,024 - Yeah, and I'm just talking about the 1970s. - Okay. 230 00:09:13,059 --> 00:09:15,627 I'm not. I was thinking of the 18th century. 231 00:09:15,662 --> 00:09:18,764 - The wigs, so on. - All right. 232 00:09:18,798 --> 00:09:22,401 So I think we're pretty close on a budget deal here. 233 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:25,237 I think we just need you to move a scooch more. 234 00:09:25,271 --> 00:09:27,506 - Oh, I'm not moving. - You're not moving? 235 00:09:27,540 --> 00:09:30,910 Not with you, ma'am. You have been hung out to dry. 236 00:09:30,978 --> 00:09:32,645 I just got a call from "Politico." 237 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,948 They just did an interview with the president and they called for my reaction. 238 00:09:35,983 --> 00:09:37,750 Just now? What are you talking about? 239 00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:40,620 - Do you not know? You haven't. All right. - I have not seen... 240 00:09:40,654 --> 00:09:44,690 I will read the president's words without inflection. 241 00:09:44,825 --> 00:09:46,826 "Slide to unlock." 242 00:09:46,860 --> 00:09:51,164 "Selina Meyer is a feisty operator and a fine VP. 243 00:09:51,198 --> 00:09:53,900 She tried her best to prevent this shutdown, 244 00:09:53,934 --> 00:09:57,203 working long hours, but it was a tough call." 245 00:09:57,238 --> 00:10:00,774 Subtext, ma'am... you failed. 246 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:03,644 And you are being blamed personally for this government shutdown. 247 00:10:03,678 --> 00:10:06,280 Okay, first of all, I did not hear that subtext. 248 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,282 I hear text, and the text that I hear 249 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,686 is a feisty and successful VP. 250 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:13,921 Oh, I don't think he said successful. 251 00:10:13,955 --> 00:10:15,556 Oh, I know he said successful. 252 00:10:15,590 --> 00:10:16,757 Well, that wasn't in those words. 253 00:10:16,791 --> 00:10:18,358 That's what you just read to me. 254 00:10:18,392 --> 00:10:20,660 - I'm sorry. - Feel free. Yeah, read it back. 255 00:10:20,694 --> 00:10:22,962 "Selina Meyer is a feisty operator and a fine VP." 256 00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:25,231 - No successful. - Fine and successful are synonyms. 257 00:10:25,265 --> 00:10:27,766 - You're grasping at straws. - I'm not grasping for straws. 258 00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:30,035 What with this 259 00:10:30,069 --> 00:10:32,104 and with all those stories about your ex-husband, 260 00:10:32,138 --> 00:10:34,072 there's a lot of poison coming 261 00:10:34,107 --> 00:10:37,209 from certain enemy congressmen. 262 00:10:37,244 --> 00:10:39,445 Roger Furlong? 263 00:10:39,479 --> 00:10:41,614 If you say so. It's all beans to me. 264 00:10:41,648 --> 00:10:45,017 Madam Vice President, you have been squeezed out of the budget deal. 265 00:10:45,051 --> 00:10:47,953 It's tough, but I don't care. 266 00:10:47,988 --> 00:10:50,056 Now you see why we have the hard chairs. 267 00:10:50,090 --> 00:10:52,358 Hardly worth you sitting down. 268 00:10:52,392 --> 00:10:54,426 You know, Jim, 269 00:10:54,494 --> 00:10:57,362 you're a lot older than me. 270 00:10:57,397 --> 00:11:00,665 If you die within the next six years, 271 00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:03,601 I will be attending your funeral 272 00:11:03,636 --> 00:11:07,839 and giving a eulogy when POTUS sends me there in his stead. 273 00:11:07,873 --> 00:11:10,775 And it is gonna be full of subtext. 274 00:11:10,843 --> 00:11:14,379 Chock-full of subtext. 275 00:11:14,447 --> 00:11:17,382 Well, I look forward to that. Oh, wait, I'll be dead. 276 00:11:17,417 --> 00:11:19,919 Dan: Honestly, Sidney, I'm looking at being furloughed 277 00:11:19,953 --> 00:11:21,421 - as an opportunity. - Oh, yeah. 278 00:11:21,455 --> 00:11:24,591 Get out there, touch some bases, face some faces. 279 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,226 So what you're saying is your career has stalled. 280 00:11:26,260 --> 00:11:27,928 So now you and your slack pussy 281 00:11:27,962 --> 00:11:30,564 want to make big bucks as an oil lobbyist, right? 282 00:11:30,598 --> 00:11:31,831 - Welcome, gentlemen. - Hello. 283 00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,099 Today's specials are the cuttlefish... 284 00:11:33,134 --> 00:11:35,001 Let me stop you right there, sweetheart. 285 00:11:35,036 --> 00:11:37,504 - You're gonna pick up the tab, right? - Yes, that's on me. 286 00:11:37,538 --> 00:11:38,839 Great. I'm gonna have the most expensive starter, 287 00:11:38,873 --> 00:11:42,242 the most expensive entr�e, and a $200 bottle of champagne. 288 00:11:42,277 --> 00:11:45,579 - Yes, sir. - You know, I think I'm gonna keep it light. 289 00:11:45,613 --> 00:11:48,515 I'm gonna go chicken salad and a Diet Coke. 290 00:11:48,550 --> 00:11:50,885 Nonsense. Give him exactly what I'm having. 291 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,452 And we will split the champagne. 292 00:11:52,487 --> 00:11:54,454 It's our first date. 293 00:11:56,557 --> 00:12:00,860 My husband was killed 15 yards from a ranger's station. 294 00:12:00,895 --> 00:12:03,496 This is the most fucked-up story. 295 00:12:03,530 --> 00:12:05,598 I mean, killed by a bear? 296 00:12:05,633 --> 00:12:08,202 Reporter: No park rangers on site due to the shutdown. 297 00:12:08,236 --> 00:12:09,303 And a black bear. That's the weird part. 298 00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,105 They rarely attack people. That's weird. 299 00:12:11,139 --> 00:12:13,775 Right. That's what I was... then he must have goaded him. 300 00:12:13,809 --> 00:12:17,045 He must have hit him with a stick or done something stupid. 301 00:12:17,079 --> 00:12:19,047 Taunting him or forcing the bear to dance. 302 00:12:19,081 --> 00:12:21,383 - Bears don't like to dance. - Would you dance, please? 303 00:12:21,418 --> 00:12:23,785 - There's not a happy bear in show business. - Or he tried to fuck the bear. 304 00:12:23,853 --> 00:12:26,656 - Mike: He tried to fuck... - Like Grizzly Adams. 305 00:12:26,723 --> 00:12:29,025 - Amy: Oh, jeez. - Enjoying yourselves? 306 00:12:29,059 --> 00:12:30,493 - We were. - Are you laughing 307 00:12:30,528 --> 00:12:32,328 at the violent death of a young man? 308 00:12:32,363 --> 00:12:36,166 - Yeah, pretty much. - I thought you were on furlough, Kent. 309 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:37,967 Forgot my noise-cancelling headphones. 310 00:12:38,002 --> 00:12:40,070 Guess what I just heard. 311 00:12:40,104 --> 00:12:42,472 I'm not here. Ergo, my ears aren't here either. 312 00:12:42,506 --> 00:12:44,975 Okay. POTUS's quote 313 00:12:45,009 --> 00:12:47,778 in his soon-to-be-released "Politico" interview 314 00:12:47,812 --> 00:12:51,682 in which he blames me for the government shutdown. 315 00:12:51,716 --> 00:12:53,116 - What? - Exactly. What? 316 00:12:53,151 --> 00:12:55,052 - It was implicit. - Implicit? 317 00:12:55,119 --> 00:12:57,722 Implicit like a "kick me" sticker 318 00:12:57,756 --> 00:12:59,557 on my keister would be implicit? 319 00:12:59,591 --> 00:13:01,693 Madam Vice President, greatest respect, 320 00:13:01,727 --> 00:13:04,262 but it has been the job of the VP over the ages 321 00:13:04,296 --> 00:13:06,931 to take it in the ass to save the president. 322 00:13:06,965 --> 00:13:08,232 Yeah, let me tell you something. 323 00:13:08,266 --> 00:13:10,601 This ass is closed for business. 324 00:13:10,635 --> 00:13:13,436 This ass is in clench-down. I don't want to be a decoy. 325 00:13:13,471 --> 00:13:16,072 Let the president take it in the ass. He might like it. 326 00:13:16,107 --> 00:13:17,874 Woman on TV: These powerful men and women, 327 00:13:17,908 --> 00:13:20,943 they couldn't agree on anything. 328 00:13:20,977 --> 00:13:22,678 Selina: You've got to be kidding me. 329 00:13:22,713 --> 00:13:24,547 Now I'm to blame because some goober 330 00:13:24,581 --> 00:13:26,282 got all eaten up by a bear? 331 00:13:26,316 --> 00:13:28,150 You've got to get your press guys on this, okay? 332 00:13:28,185 --> 00:13:31,153 - Yes, ma'am. - Ma'am, this is in Minnesota, right? 333 00:13:31,187 --> 00:13:33,322 So Governor Chung is gonna be all over this 334 00:13:33,356 --> 00:13:34,991 - like a bear on an idiot. - Of course. That's right. 335 00:13:35,025 --> 00:13:37,660 At the very least, let's get in front of something 336 00:13:37,694 --> 00:13:39,529 and get in touch with this widow. 337 00:13:39,563 --> 00:13:41,665 - Yeah. Did you hear that, Mike? - Uh-uh. 338 00:13:41,699 --> 00:13:43,300 The bear widow. Get in touch with the bear widow. 339 00:13:43,334 --> 00:13:44,668 As well as get in touch with the press guys? 340 00:13:44,702 --> 00:13:46,235 Yeah, as well as get in touch with the press guys. 341 00:13:46,270 --> 00:13:48,337 Two things. Call the "Guinness Book of World Records." 342 00:13:48,372 --> 00:13:51,173 Oh, no, no, don't, don't, because that would be three things. 343 00:13:52,609 --> 00:13:54,609 So you're really not gonna eat that lobster? 344 00:13:54,644 --> 00:13:55,644 Oh, no, I hate lobster. 345 00:13:55,678 --> 00:13:58,112 You know, Dan, we could use you. 346 00:13:58,147 --> 00:13:59,614 How do you feel about swindling 347 00:13:59,648 --> 00:14:02,383 a bunch of sister fuckers out of their land in Nebraska? 348 00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:05,019 We're trying to skirt a pipeline through their backyard 349 00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:06,688 and they're not a fan for some reason. 350 00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:08,456 You want to get rid of some farm folk, huh? 351 00:14:08,490 --> 00:14:11,359 Consider me your well-groomed dust bowl, my friend. 352 00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:13,661 Hey, ooh! Boy, you made it twitch. 353 00:14:13,696 --> 00:14:15,530 But if you really want to make my dick dance, 354 00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,866 why don't you tell me what's going on in the VP's office? 355 00:14:19,702 --> 00:14:22,905 Well, you know, I can't really be too specific. 356 00:14:22,939 --> 00:14:24,406 Sure, sure. No, we can... 357 00:14:24,441 --> 00:14:26,409 why don't we come up with some kind of code? 358 00:14:26,443 --> 00:14:29,479 Here, the VP will be the lobster. 359 00:14:29,513 --> 00:14:32,015 Amy, greens. We'll call Mike carrots. 360 00:14:32,049 --> 00:14:33,349 Dan, you can be shrimp. 361 00:14:33,384 --> 00:14:35,618 Do you see what I did there, Dan? I made you shrimp. 362 00:14:35,653 --> 00:14:38,755 Boy, I just wish I ordered a plate of useless assholes. 363 00:14:38,789 --> 00:14:41,858 But you go to war with the army you have, right? 364 00:14:41,893 --> 00:14:43,727 Okay, I think the lobster 365 00:14:43,761 --> 00:14:45,696 is getting back together with her ex-husband. 366 00:14:45,730 --> 00:14:49,299 The greens are only barely keeping it together. 367 00:14:49,334 --> 00:14:53,737 Mike... the carrots are drowning in debt. 368 00:14:53,772 --> 00:14:57,708 And this little shrimp wants to hear more about this Nebraska deal. 369 00:14:57,743 --> 00:14:59,611 ( Laughs ) Want to go to the corn belt, do you? 370 00:14:59,645 --> 00:15:01,446 I want to hit it. I want to hit it hard for you. 371 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,648 Well, tap your ruby slippers together 372 00:15:03,683 --> 00:15:06,184 and wake the fuck up. There is no job, Dorothy. 373 00:15:06,218 --> 00:15:08,453 But I'm very impressed that you would turn on 374 00:15:08,487 --> 00:15:11,189 all of your compadres there in the vice president's office. 375 00:15:11,224 --> 00:15:14,592 So why don't you take your little vanilla Thriller dance over to Danny Chung? 376 00:15:14,627 --> 00:15:18,329 He's the shiny turd rising to the top of the bowl right now. 377 00:15:18,363 --> 00:15:20,264 You like turds, don't you, Dan? 378 00:15:20,299 --> 00:15:23,234 Yeah. No, no, no, no. 379 00:15:23,268 --> 00:15:25,836 That's really not what I meant. You misunderstood, honestly. 380 00:15:25,871 --> 00:15:29,640 When I said fault, I meant that it wasn't your husband's fault 381 00:15:29,707 --> 00:15:33,143 because bears are naturally hungry. 382 00:15:33,210 --> 00:15:35,078 Does that make sense? 383 00:15:35,112 --> 00:15:37,580 Hello? Hello? 384 00:15:38,783 --> 00:15:40,416 Oh, was that Mrs. Doolittle? 385 00:15:40,451 --> 00:15:41,951 - Yeah. - And? 386 00:15:42,019 --> 00:15:43,886 - Very emotional. - Well, of course. 387 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,788 Yeah. 388 00:15:45,822 --> 00:15:47,656 What? Oh, Jesus. 389 00:15:47,691 --> 00:15:49,525 All right, Amy, we're gonna have to get Dan 390 00:15:49,559 --> 00:15:51,795 to go to Minnesota, do some widow work. 391 00:15:51,829 --> 00:15:54,731 - Dan's on furlough. - Yeah, I know he's fucking furloughed 392 00:15:54,766 --> 00:15:56,333 because I'm the fucker who furloughed him. 393 00:15:56,367 --> 00:15:58,401 And by the way, where is Gary? 394 00:15:58,436 --> 00:15:59,936 He's still getting the garbage. 395 00:15:59,971 --> 00:16:01,438 Well, okay, if he's not back soon, 396 00:16:01,539 --> 00:16:03,240 we're gonna have to unenfurlough Sue. 397 00:16:03,274 --> 00:16:04,641 Unenfur... 398 00:16:04,675 --> 00:16:06,309 - we'll have to get Sue back. - Amy: Okay. 399 00:16:06,343 --> 00:16:09,112 Yeah. And I want to meet with Furlong. 400 00:16:12,116 --> 00:16:13,649 It's not happening. I'm not getting in there. 401 00:16:13,684 --> 00:16:14,951 Unbelievable. 402 00:16:15,019 --> 00:16:16,987 Oh, God! 403 00:16:17,021 --> 00:16:20,256 Oh, please. Please. You think this is bad? 404 00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:23,760 Wait till you get to London. Everything smells like urine. 405 00:16:23,827 --> 00:16:25,394 Even the food. 406 00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:27,296 Okay, found it. 407 00:16:27,330 --> 00:16:29,198 - How do you know it's hers? - Shut up. I found it. 408 00:16:32,402 --> 00:16:35,538 Selina: Oh, my God, that pizza was good. 409 00:16:35,573 --> 00:16:37,374 You know, I don't eat pizza very much, Roger. 410 00:16:37,408 --> 00:16:40,543 But when I do, it just makes me so fucking happy. 411 00:16:40,578 --> 00:16:43,713 - Thank the Chinese for that. - What? 412 00:16:43,748 --> 00:16:45,682 - The Chinese invented pizza. - No, they didn't. 413 00:16:45,750 --> 00:16:47,750 - Yeah, they did. - Listen, Roger, 414 00:16:47,785 --> 00:16:50,419 let's talk about all these stories going around 415 00:16:50,454 --> 00:16:53,523 about Andrew's land deal and our relationship. 416 00:16:53,557 --> 00:16:56,191 Oh, my God, all these whispers, these rumors. 417 00:16:56,226 --> 00:16:57,793 Who knows where any of that's coming from? 418 00:16:57,827 --> 00:17:00,762 The point is there's boxes and boxes of this stuff out there. 419 00:17:00,797 --> 00:17:02,464 - I know that. That's a fact. - Uh-huh. 420 00:17:02,498 --> 00:17:05,100 That's as much a fact as Will's impotence. 421 00:17:05,135 --> 00:17:07,236 I don't think that's appropriate. 422 00:17:07,304 --> 00:17:08,771 He doesn't mind. Do you, Will? 423 00:17:08,806 --> 00:17:10,073 Whatever works, sir. 424 00:17:10,107 --> 00:17:12,042 - Right, see? Team player. - Yeah. 425 00:17:12,077 --> 00:17:16,413 Yeah, I got a pretty impressive deck of cards here, ma'am. 426 00:17:16,448 --> 00:17:17,882 No kidding. I love to play cards. 427 00:17:17,916 --> 00:17:19,250 - Do you? - Yeah. 428 00:17:19,284 --> 00:17:21,152 - What's your favorite game? - Shanghai. 429 00:17:21,186 --> 00:17:23,588 I would have guessed Old Maid. 430 00:17:23,622 --> 00:17:25,323 - Want to play Go Fish? - Sure. 431 00:17:25,357 --> 00:17:27,125 - Why don't you lay 'em out? - All right. 432 00:17:27,159 --> 00:17:29,694 Queen. The boxes I just mentioned. 433 00:17:29,728 --> 00:17:31,229 - Uh-huh. - Boxes full of dirt. 434 00:17:31,263 --> 00:17:33,899 - Right. - Explosive dirt. Hurty dirt. 435 00:17:33,933 --> 00:17:36,635 Yeah, you can start calling me the Hurty Dirty Man. 436 00:17:36,669 --> 00:17:38,170 Yeah, I'm not gonna call you that. 437 00:17:38,204 --> 00:17:39,938 - All right. - ( Laughs ) 438 00:17:39,973 --> 00:17:42,207 I'm not. What's your king? 439 00:17:42,242 --> 00:17:43,943 Could be Chung time. 440 00:17:43,977 --> 00:17:45,711 Everybody Dan Chung tonight. 441 00:17:45,746 --> 00:17:47,447 Danny likes boxes. 442 00:17:48,482 --> 00:17:50,050 And then? 443 00:17:50,084 --> 00:17:52,452 Well, I can't predict the future. 444 00:17:52,487 --> 00:17:54,220 Ooh! ( Laughs ) 445 00:17:54,255 --> 00:17:58,024 Roger Furlong, look at you being all coy. 446 00:17:58,059 --> 00:17:59,759 - ( Laughs ) - You are, man. 447 00:17:59,794 --> 00:18:02,029 You're a coy boy. So what? 448 00:18:02,063 --> 00:18:04,665 You'd make some sort of a deal with him? Is that what you're thinking? 449 00:18:04,699 --> 00:18:08,234 For some sort of senior position in his administration? 450 00:18:08,269 --> 00:18:10,202 - Stranger things have happened. - Uh-huh. 451 00:18:10,237 --> 00:18:11,737 Stranger things could happen. 452 00:18:11,771 --> 00:18:13,739 - Boom. - Boom. 453 00:18:13,774 --> 00:18:15,441 You want to make a deal with me? 454 00:18:15,475 --> 00:18:17,910 Have a place in my future administration? 455 00:18:17,944 --> 00:18:20,879 Wow, that came out of nowhere, didn't it, Will? 456 00:18:20,914 --> 00:18:24,115 It's like a sudden monsoon in Goa, sir. 457 00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:27,852 Sudden monsoon. They predict those things weeks in advance, you idiot. 458 00:18:29,355 --> 00:18:30,855 Hey, did you ever see "Silence of the Lambs"? 459 00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:34,559 Oh, yeah. That scared the living shit out of me. 460 00:18:34,593 --> 00:18:37,729 I know, it's hard to believe that they have female FBI agents. 461 00:18:37,763 --> 00:18:39,031 - Oh! - I'm kidding. 462 00:18:39,065 --> 00:18:40,399 I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 463 00:18:40,466 --> 00:18:42,468 ( Laughs ) I love that kind of misogyny. 464 00:18:42,502 --> 00:18:45,004 - I love misogyny like that. - Yeah, it's the best kind. 465 00:18:45,038 --> 00:18:46,539 Well, anyway, the point is you got 466 00:18:46,573 --> 00:18:48,241 - these two characters, right? - Right. 467 00:18:48,275 --> 00:18:51,077 That seem to be so different, but they can come to an understanding 468 00:18:51,111 --> 00:18:52,645 and they can actually work together. 469 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,614 You know what? You make such a good point. 470 00:18:54,648 --> 00:18:56,583 You make such a good point. 471 00:18:56,617 --> 00:19:00,386 Ahem. Just to be clear, Roger, 472 00:19:00,421 --> 00:19:02,922 you're not asking for anything 473 00:19:02,956 --> 00:19:05,858 and I'm not agreeing to anything. 474 00:19:05,892 --> 00:19:07,593 Okay. 475 00:19:07,627 --> 00:19:10,696 Obviously, I can't say anything explicitly. 476 00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:13,533 Neither can you. You understand that? 477 00:19:13,634 --> 00:19:15,635 Will, do I understand? 478 00:19:16,570 --> 00:19:17,970 Yes, you do, sir. 479 00:19:19,172 --> 00:19:20,606 Did you hear what we said, Will? 480 00:19:20,641 --> 00:19:23,009 No, ma'am. 481 00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:24,510 - Team player. - Yeah. 482 00:19:24,545 --> 00:19:26,145 - I like it. - Yeah. 483 00:19:26,180 --> 00:19:28,681 All right, she's on her way, so we'll just put this in her car. 484 00:19:28,716 --> 00:19:31,818 - Did you check the oil? - No. Who the fuck checks their oil? 485 00:19:31,852 --> 00:19:33,920 - Everyone. - ( Horn honks ) 486 00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:36,056 - Oh, hey, Sue's here. - Oh, thank God. 487 00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:38,625 - Thanks, Sue. - You're welcome, Gary. 488 00:19:38,659 --> 00:19:39,659 - Hi, Shaun. - Hey, gentlemen. 489 00:19:39,694 --> 00:19:40,828 - Nice to see you. - Sue, grab a bag. 490 00:19:40,862 --> 00:19:42,663 We're gonna be the shitty Sopranos. 491 00:19:42,697 --> 00:19:44,298 Just don't get any mess on my dress. 492 00:19:44,332 --> 00:19:46,933 My mess on your dress. I like this... sorry. 493 00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:48,602 You're paying to have my car cleaned after this. 494 00:19:48,636 --> 00:19:50,537 Okay, first, no touching. Thank you. And I'm not. 495 00:19:50,571 --> 00:19:52,405 Sue: Okay, come on. Let's get this over with. 496 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,541 Oh, God, there's no way I'm gonna fit in here. 497 00:19:54,575 --> 00:19:57,811 It's bigger than your mother's womb and you were in there till you were 15. 498 00:19:57,846 --> 00:20:00,381 - Gary: Oh, my God. - There you go. 499 00:20:00,415 --> 00:20:02,483 Oh, God, I'm touching it. 500 00:20:02,518 --> 00:20:04,152 Gary: Something's wet. Something's wet. 501 00:20:04,186 --> 00:20:05,787 - Ugh, okay. - Jonah: It got on my ID badge. 502 00:20:05,821 --> 00:20:07,856 - Shaun: Watch your legs, Lurch. - Sue: All right, guys. 503 00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:11,794 - Jonah: Who buys a coupe? - Sue: Oh, gross. 504 00:20:13,763 --> 00:20:16,331 People will say he shouldn't have been there. 505 00:20:16,366 --> 00:20:18,367 But he's dead, for God's sake. 506 00:20:18,401 --> 00:20:20,102 - I know. - ( Crying ) 507 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,770 I know. I know. I know. 508 00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:25,441 I keep thinking about his last moments. 509 00:20:25,476 --> 00:20:27,176 Yeah. 510 00:20:27,211 --> 00:20:29,445 Chung: So how is the widow holding up? 511 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,716 She's crying a lot. Like a shitload a lot. 512 00:20:32,750 --> 00:20:35,218 She's upset. Husband eaten, et cetera. 513 00:20:35,252 --> 00:20:37,453 She's a big fan of yours, though. You should talk to her. 514 00:20:37,488 --> 00:20:40,856 I don't know. It could look opportunistic. 515 00:20:40,890 --> 00:20:43,993 But heroes don't get to choose, they get chosen. 516 00:20:44,027 --> 00:20:47,430 Speaking of chosen, how is Dan.com/Egan? 517 00:20:47,464 --> 00:20:49,833 - I'm still a fan. - And you should be, Danny. 518 00:20:49,867 --> 00:20:51,634 - I'm fucking awesome. - You are. 519 00:20:51,669 --> 00:20:54,671 Sadly, though, Selina and Kent Davison are blind to my destiny. 520 00:20:54,705 --> 00:20:56,606 See, they're thinking like it's the 1990s. 521 00:20:56,641 --> 00:20:58,709 I'm thinking like it's the 2020s. 522 00:20:58,743 --> 00:21:00,077 You got 20/20 vision, huh? 523 00:21:00,111 --> 00:21:01,178 - Zowie! - You like that? 524 00:21:01,212 --> 00:21:03,113 See, I need more of that on my team. 525 00:21:03,148 --> 00:21:04,648 You offering me a job? 526 00:21:04,682 --> 00:21:07,150 I don't have any immediate vacancies, but I will. 527 00:21:07,185 --> 00:21:09,185 In six years' time, you and me, 528 00:21:09,220 --> 00:21:11,454 Oval Office ordering a pizza and an air strike. 529 00:21:11,488 --> 00:21:13,823 Thin crust, extra warheads. 530 00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:17,026 Get the Rolling Stones to perform in my fucking living room. 531 00:21:17,060 --> 00:21:18,227 ( Both laugh ) 532 00:21:18,261 --> 00:21:20,296 20/20, yo. 533 00:21:21,465 --> 00:21:24,099 ( Phone ringing ) 534 00:21:25,469 --> 00:21:28,870 - Ma'am? - Dan, your 15 minutes of furlough are over. 535 00:21:28,905 --> 00:21:31,372 I need you back. To the Bastardmobile. 536 00:21:31,407 --> 00:21:32,840 Yeah. 537 00:21:35,611 --> 00:21:37,811 You know, I didn't realize how good I was at this job 538 00:21:37,845 --> 00:21:39,580 until someone else did it so badly. 539 00:21:39,614 --> 00:21:41,748 - Different isn't bad. - No, bad is bad. 540 00:21:41,782 --> 00:21:44,250 Okay, so what do we got on the deck for today? 541 00:21:44,284 --> 00:21:45,651 We got that NASA meeting? 542 00:21:45,686 --> 00:21:47,186 No, it looks like the NASA guys had to reschedule. 543 00:21:47,221 --> 00:21:49,455 Aw, crap. I wanted to meet the NASA guys. 544 00:21:49,489 --> 00:21:51,224 Gary, they don't even walk on the moon anymore. 545 00:21:51,258 --> 00:21:53,193 They're basically a bunch of nerds who work in a hangar. 546 00:21:53,227 --> 00:21:54,961 So what do we got instead? 547 00:21:55,062 --> 00:21:57,364 You have a visit to the waste management plant in Fairfax. 548 00:21:57,398 --> 00:22:00,934 Okay, I don't know what is the most depressing word in that sentence. 549 00:22:00,968 --> 00:22:02,869 All you got to do is go meet the garbage guys. 550 00:22:02,903 --> 00:22:05,505 You know, make it look like you're getting your hands dirty with the common man. 551 00:22:05,540 --> 00:22:06,840 Get some pictures for the press. 552 00:22:06,875 --> 00:22:08,909 A nice little puff piece. I set it up. 553 00:22:08,944 --> 00:22:11,512 - You're furloughed, Mike. - Without pay? 554 00:22:11,546 --> 00:22:14,315 Yeah, that's how it works. Go sign the paperwork on Amy's desk. 555 00:22:14,349 --> 00:22:15,883 Try renting out your fucking boat. 556 00:22:15,917 --> 00:22:17,585 Ma'am, look, I had no choice in this. 557 00:22:17,619 --> 00:22:19,454 Gary's the one who promised the garbage guy a visit. 558 00:22:19,488 --> 00:22:22,557 Gary wouldn't do something that idiotic, would you, Gary? 559 00:22:22,592 --> 00:22:26,796 Well, under certain circumstances, a garbage service... 560 00:22:26,830 --> 00:22:28,297 Selina: Ah! 561 00:22:28,331 --> 00:22:29,765 Yeah, no, no. I get it. 562 00:22:29,799 --> 00:22:32,168 - I understand now. - Yeah. Whew. 563 00:22:32,202 --> 00:22:33,569 - Hey, Gary. - Yeah? 564 00:22:33,603 --> 00:22:34,804 - You're furloughed. - No! 565 00:22:34,838 --> 00:22:35,971 I'm sorry. I got Sue. 566 00:22:36,006 --> 00:22:37,606 ( Sighs ) No. 567 00:22:37,641 --> 00:22:39,441 You got to sign the paperwork on Amy's desk. 568 00:22:39,475 --> 00:22:41,743 - ( Knocks ) - Ma'am? 569 00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:45,380 Gary mentioned you might be able to get my passport renewal fast-tracked. 570 00:22:45,414 --> 00:22:48,750 Okay, Gary, get out. Go fuck yourself, Jonah. 571 00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:50,552 Ma'am, I'm G8 advance team. 572 00:22:50,586 --> 00:22:53,021 Go, period, fuck, period, 573 00:22:53,055 --> 00:22:54,823 yourself, exclamation point. 574 00:22:54,857 --> 00:22:56,558 But, ma'am, I helped with the garbage. 575 00:22:57,727 --> 00:23:00,162 ( Quietly ) Oh, you helped with the... 576 00:23:00,197 --> 00:23:01,864 with the garbage? 577 00:23:02,966 --> 00:23:04,867 Yeah, I helped with the garbage. 578 00:23:06,070 --> 00:23:07,804 - Um, Sue. - Yeah? 579 00:23:07,838 --> 00:23:09,339 Could you get in touch 580 00:23:09,373 --> 00:23:11,941 with what's-his-fuck at the State Department? 581 00:23:11,976 --> 00:23:14,010 A doff of the cap to you, my lady. 582 00:23:14,044 --> 00:23:15,511 - Amy: Ma'am. - Yeah? 583 00:23:15,579 --> 00:23:18,448 Did you just furlough Gary and Mike when I was in the bathroom? 584 00:23:18,483 --> 00:23:22,252 I did. So Sue's the new Gary and you are still the Amy. 585 00:23:22,287 --> 00:23:23,387 - Yeah. - Yeah. 586 00:23:23,421 --> 00:23:25,923 Hey, hey. What have I missed? 587 00:23:25,957 --> 00:23:28,059 She is furloughing indiscriminately into the crowd. 588 00:23:28,093 --> 00:23:30,595 Uh, Amy, a quick word. 589 00:23:35,501 --> 00:23:37,468 Please don't tell me you got it on with the widow. 590 00:23:37,503 --> 00:23:40,972 Tell me honestly. Where do you think Selina's heading? 591 00:23:41,006 --> 00:23:43,308 What's making you doubt her? 592 00:23:43,342 --> 00:23:45,978 Land deal shit, fake relationship shit, shutdown shit. 593 00:23:46,012 --> 00:23:48,080 You left out that she just did a deal with Roger Furlong 594 00:23:48,114 --> 00:23:50,783 and is becoming semidependent on antidepressants. 595 00:23:50,850 --> 00:23:52,918 Oh, well, what could possibly go wrong? 596 00:23:54,420 --> 00:23:55,787 Selina: Okay, Sue, let's go. 597 00:23:55,822 --> 00:23:58,056 Ma'am, I am so sorry 598 00:23:58,090 --> 00:23:59,324 that I could not get you the widow. 599 00:23:59,358 --> 00:24:01,793 Yeah, that was what I would call a massive fuckup. 600 00:24:01,827 --> 00:24:03,995 - Yeah. - Well, the newspapers are suggesting 601 00:24:04,029 --> 00:24:07,398 that I am responsible for the grisly death of some idiot. 602 00:24:07,432 --> 00:24:09,233 But I'm on my way to a garbage dump, 603 00:24:09,301 --> 00:24:11,168 so that's a positive, right? 604 00:24:11,203 --> 00:24:12,636 Well, that's a good attitude to have. 605 00:24:12,671 --> 00:24:14,204 Amy, why is everybody else 606 00:24:14,239 --> 00:24:15,639 in charge of my image except me? 607 00:24:15,673 --> 00:24:18,008 - We've got to do something, Amy. - Okay. 608 00:24:18,042 --> 00:24:20,476 Ma'am, the dump has a contaminated sludge delivery at 10:15, 609 00:24:20,511 --> 00:24:21,944 so we have a very limited window. 610 00:24:21,979 --> 00:24:24,313 Okay, I just... I just want to think... 611 00:24:24,347 --> 00:24:27,783 we just need to think with our heads for a minute. 612 00:24:29,151 --> 00:24:30,385 Maybe get me on TV? 613 00:24:30,419 --> 00:24:32,121 Well, we don't want to do "First Response" 614 00:24:32,155 --> 00:24:33,956 with Janet Ryland or anything, but I mean... 615 00:24:33,990 --> 00:24:37,259 Oh. Oh, yeah. 616 00:24:37,294 --> 00:24:39,195 Yeah, that's a great idea. 617 00:24:39,229 --> 00:24:40,430 That's precisely what I want to do, Dan. 618 00:24:40,464 --> 00:24:42,365 - Good. - Oh, okay, then, yes. Exactly. 619 00:24:42,399 --> 00:24:43,666 You know what? The more I think about it, 620 00:24:43,701 --> 00:24:45,869 she actually might be exactly what we want to do. 621 00:24:45,903 --> 00:24:48,304 She's respected, but she's not dangerous. 622 00:24:48,339 --> 00:24:49,973 She's staid, she's stately. 623 00:24:50,007 --> 00:24:52,275 She's old and cold 624 00:24:52,310 --> 00:24:54,244 and I'm warm and... 625 00:24:54,278 --> 00:24:56,747 - Young? - Young, exactly. 626 00:24:56,781 --> 00:24:58,448 And I'm a mother. 627 00:24:58,483 --> 00:24:59,950 So we should round up Catherine, 628 00:24:59,984 --> 00:25:01,284 at gunpoint, if we have to. 629 00:25:01,319 --> 00:25:03,420 And maybe Andrew. 630 00:25:03,454 --> 00:25:05,021 Yeah? 631 00:25:05,056 --> 00:25:07,791 Honestly, all of America will be watching. 632 00:25:07,825 --> 00:25:10,761 If it doesn't land, then this could be the end to this whole adventure. 633 00:25:10,795 --> 00:25:12,229 ( Laughs ) Come on. Come on. 634 00:25:12,263 --> 00:25:14,198 - Melodrama queen. - Sue: Tick tock, tick tock. 635 00:25:14,232 --> 00:25:16,868 - Sludge time. - Yeah. This is gonna be a great idea. 636 00:25:16,902 --> 00:25:19,637 So call "First Response," get this thing underway. 637 00:25:19,671 --> 00:25:21,239 We've got to unenfurlough Mike and Gary. 638 00:25:21,273 --> 00:25:23,542 - Unfurlough. - That's what I just said, Amy. 639 00:25:23,576 --> 00:25:27,046 Okay? So let's just throw as many bodies at this as we can. 640 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:28,614 That's what we're gonna do. 641 00:25:30,751 --> 00:25:33,420 You may want to wear this mask in case the wind changes. 642 00:25:33,454 --> 00:25:34,855 Oh, really? No, I don't think so. 643 00:25:34,889 --> 00:25:37,057 I think... mm, yeah, okay. 644 00:25:37,091 --> 00:25:39,393 That's not a bad idea, actually. 645 00:25:39,461 --> 00:25:40,828 It's great to meet you, Janine. 646 00:25:40,863 --> 00:25:43,665 Your bravery has been an inspiration for us all. 647 00:25:43,699 --> 00:25:46,701 Now look, ma'am, I've allotted exactly three minutes 648 00:25:46,769 --> 00:25:48,570 - for small talk, during which... - Okay, thank you, Sue. 649 00:25:48,604 --> 00:25:50,205 Then after that, there's a maximum 650 00:25:50,239 --> 00:25:51,940 - of 10 minutes for glass... - That's enough, Sue. 651 00:25:51,975 --> 00:25:53,342 There are cameras. There are cameras here. 652 00:25:53,376 --> 00:25:55,811 If there's anything I can do... 653 00:25:55,879 --> 00:25:58,447 It is so nice to hear someone say that. 654 00:25:58,482 --> 00:26:00,917 Chung: If you need it, you got it. 655 00:26:00,985 --> 00:26:03,152 God bless you. 656 00:26:03,187 --> 00:26:05,822 This wildlife in the area, 657 00:26:05,856 --> 00:26:08,525 I wonder how it's impacted by this very facility. 658 00:26:08,559 --> 00:26:11,828 We get a lot of rats, if that's what you mean. 659 00:26:11,862 --> 00:26:14,897 Oh, well, that makes sense, doesn't it? Of course, yeah. 660 00:26:14,932 --> 00:26:17,266 And he served in the Coast Guard, is that right? 661 00:26:17,300 --> 00:26:18,867 Yes, sir. 662 00:26:18,902 --> 00:26:21,636 It would have been a mighty privilege to have known him. 663 00:26:21,671 --> 00:26:24,973 And I'm sure you know, Joe, 664 00:26:25,007 --> 00:26:28,410 that nationally we spend about $71 665 00:26:28,444 --> 00:26:30,812 per ton of waste on recycling 666 00:26:30,846 --> 00:26:33,981 while we spend $86 per ton on collection. 667 00:26:34,016 --> 00:26:36,584 Do you find this divergence troubling? 668 00:26:37,586 --> 00:26:39,087 Ma'am, I-I just shovel it. 669 00:26:39,121 --> 00:26:42,390 - I don't account for it. - Okay. ( Chuckles ) 670 00:26:42,425 --> 00:26:44,693 This doesn't look great, does it? 671 00:26:44,727 --> 00:26:46,994 Depends on which channel you're watching. 672 00:26:47,029 --> 00:26:50,364 I think we can all learn from the incredible strength you've shown. 673 00:26:50,399 --> 00:26:53,200 - Are you married, Joe? - Yes. 674 00:26:53,268 --> 00:26:54,969 Ah, that's lovely. 675 00:26:55,270 --> 00:27:00,089 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com53401

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