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1
00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:41,050
Hello.
2
00:00:41,210 --> 00:00:43,510
I am so sorry. I have the wrong room.
3
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,550
No, it's fine. Come in.
- I completely apologize.
4
00:00:45,650 --> 00:00:47,580
No, please! Please, I insist. Come in.
5
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,170
Really?
- Wow! Please come in.
6
00:00:50,270 --> 00:00:52,950
Wh... Please! You should
come inside. Come inside.
7
00:00:53,050 --> 00:00:54,730
Don't be shy. What a surprise.
8
00:00:54,830 --> 00:00:56,850
It's nice to have company.
9
00:00:56,950 --> 00:00:58,960
This is the right room. I promise you.
10
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,460
Come on in.
11
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I'm Rosie. Hi.
- Come on in! Hey!
12
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:05,100
I'm Erol.
- OK. Nice to meet you. Um...
13
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,820
Make yourself comfortable.
14
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:08,170
I haven't seen anyone for days.
15
00:01:08,270 --> 00:01:10,310
This is a nice room,
this is much bigger...
16
00:01:10,410 --> 00:01:11,560
How much are you paying per night?
17
00:01:11,660 --> 00:01:12,980
My room's like half this size.
18
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:16,580
I live here, actually. Yeah.
- You live here? Cool. OK.
19
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,950
Yeah, shut the door.
- Yeah, I'm just worried,
20
00:01:19,050 --> 00:01:21,340
I meant to find... We're staying in 217.
21
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,390
The hallway is really... funny, and I...
22
00:01:23,490 --> 00:01:26,120
Shut the door. That's fine.
- But anyway, yeah.
23
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:27,920
Yeah, it's tricky. But you're here now,
24
00:01:28,020 --> 00:01:30,180
and that's all that matters.
- Yeah.
25
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,080
Well, gee, what a nice surprise.
26
00:01:32,180 --> 00:01:34,110
Are you an artist? Look at that!
27
00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:36,080
I tell you what, it's a little...
28
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:37,320
Why don't you make yourself comfortable?
29
00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:39,550
Get out of that, um...
- Get out of this...?
30
00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:41,290
This... This thing.
31
00:01:41,390 --> 00:01:43,450
It's a little warm in
here. Take that off.
32
00:01:43,550 --> 00:01:46,060
I guess it is kind of warm.
33
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,560
Um, OK.
- Yeah.
34
00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:51,580
That's nice. That's very nice.
35
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,470
Yeah. That's good.
36
00:01:53,570 --> 00:01:56,500
Yeah, just throw it...
just toss it anywhere.
37
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:57,940
Great, great, great.
38
00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,270
So, yeah, um...
39
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,940
j-just...
40
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,610
make yourself comfortable.
41
00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:06,210
You've seen me, I'm in my underwear.
42
00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:07,980
You should take that skirt off.
43
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,180
You know, get yourself
in your... underwear.
44
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,050
Yeah.
45
00:02:13,150 --> 00:02:15,350
That's... that's nice. Wow.
46
00:02:15,450 --> 00:02:17,960
Nice legs. You a dancer?
47
00:02:18,060 --> 00:02:20,460
Ballerina? Something?
With legs like that.
48
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,660
Very nice.
- I just don't know if I should do this,
49
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:26,340
'cause my husband is in the room, like,
50
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:27,860
four rows down,
51
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,500
and I have a kid, and
she's got a fever...
52
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,460
Don't talk about a husband and kid.
53
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:32,540
Just be anonymous.
54
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,270
I don't want to know any
backstory or anything like that.
55
00:02:34,370 --> 00:02:37,040
Just keep it physical. That
was great, what you...
56
00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:39,940
I think she's a real person.
She's a real backstory.
57
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:41,780
Be primal.
58
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,450
Don't talk.
- Is that what you want?
59
00:02:43,550 --> 00:02:46,080
Want a little primal
woman just roll in here?
60
00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:48,250
OK, great. I got it.
61
00:02:48,350 --> 00:02:49,850
Gimme a second!
62
00:02:53,220 --> 00:02:56,420
Meow.
- What's this?
63
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,460
It seems that a weird feral...
64
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,730
kitty has wandered into my room.
65
00:03:03,830 --> 00:03:06,040
A rabid kitty, it seems like.
66
00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:08,740
It's a pretty kitty.
67
00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:10,340
Beautiful.
68
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,130
That's nice.
69
00:03:17,050 --> 00:03:19,280
That's nice. Yeah, that's nice.
70
00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:22,090
Yeah, wait a second.
71
00:03:22,190 --> 00:03:24,220
No, no, don't do that. Don't
do the meowing thing.
72
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,920
That's, it's taking me
out of it a little bit.
73
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:31,060
I'm a cat.
- I like that you're being primal,
74
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,650
I like that you're being a kitty,
but don't talk... you know that.
75
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,060
But here's the thing.
76
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,700
It's the meowing is kinda
taking me out of it.
77
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,700
Do you want to do it?
Maybe it's your turn.
78
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,100
I'm not gonna do this.
- I'm done. It's your turn.
79
00:03:45,770 --> 00:03:48,910
You know, I just don't know what...
80
00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:51,100
My God, I'm in the...
Sorry, I'm in the wrong room.
81
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,940
No, I think you're in the right room.
82
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,750
No, come in. Please.
83
00:03:55,980 --> 00:03:57,250
I shouldn't.
84
00:03:57,350 --> 00:03:59,250
I think you should.
85
00:03:59,350 --> 00:04:00,710
Really?
- Yeah.
86
00:04:00,810 --> 00:04:02,200
I have this guitar right here,
87
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:05,080
and I just need somebody
to play it for me.
88
00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:07,480
This guitar?
- Yeah. Do you think...
89
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,450
Do you play guitar?
90
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,000
Actually, I play a little guitar.
91
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,640
Really?
- A pluck. Just a little.
92
00:04:13,740 --> 00:04:17,260
Yeah.
- Wow, you're so innocent and shy.
93
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,790
Do you like guitar?
94
00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:21,030
Um, I do. Wow, that's very sexy.
95
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,490
What happens when someone
plays the guitar?
96
00:04:23,590 --> 00:04:25,260
Well? What happens?
97
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,160
I mean, all kinds
of things can happen.
98
00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:30,870
Well, let me just take this off.
- Wow.
99
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,460
My God.
- What's under there?
100
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,540
Actually,
101
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,410
this does not feel good.
102
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:39,940
I'm a little rusty. I haven't
been playing much lately,
103
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,550
but I'll give it my...
104
00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:45,770
Yeah, thanks, stranger.
105
00:04:58,060 --> 00:04:59,490
And make a baby!
106
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,650
Hi, baby.
- Hello!
107
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,800
Um, I'm Erol, I'm your...
108
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,180
if everything goes well, I'm
gonna be your father, and...
109
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:23,220
And I'm Rosie, I'm gon... I'm your mom.
110
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:26,540
Right now, it's December 18th, 2018,
111
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,400
and I know you're out in heaven,
112
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,150
hanging out with the spirits,
113
00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:33,500
but we're really excited
for you to come down
114
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,870
through all of the celestial orbits
115
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,100
and join me and my ovaries,
116
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,200
and your dad tonight
117
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:45,560
is going to use the sperm
inside of his... penis to...
118
00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:47,440
Testicles. First in my testicles.
- Is it?
119
00:05:47,540 --> 00:05:48,860
It will shoot out of my penis.
120
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,500
Anyway, and then it's
gonna come into me,
121
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,580
and you're gonna be formed.
122
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,740
And that's the important thing you said,
123
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:57,390
which is, um, where the sperm resides,
124
00:05:57,490 --> 00:06:00,490
not in the celestial heavens,
but in my testicles,
125
00:06:00,590 --> 00:06:02,790
which are a sac of two testes.
126
00:06:02,890 --> 00:06:05,060
It's a little more
magical than just that,
127
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,800
because you have a soul,
128
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,200
and we know that souls come from God,
129
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:11,820
and that's... God is
inside of all of us.
130
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,510
Which is part of the reason I
don't believe, really, in God,
131
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,320
because if God's inside of us,
132
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:19,640
I don't really believe in myself,
133
00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:22,440
so it's hard to believe in
a God of the kingdom of...
134
00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:23,610
It's a joke. That's...
135
00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:26,150
You don't believe in anything.
136
00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:27,260
Look at your mother.
137
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,780
She's so fucking beautiful!
138
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,220
What is she doing with me?
That's the big mystery here.
139
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:33,340
No.
- You know?
140
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,220
You're a wildly charismatic
and strange...
141
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:37,630
and mysterious human being.
142
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,330
Anyway,
143
00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:41,960
we are going to make you now.
144
00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:45,440
What's that?
- We can put it down and just get to it.
145
00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:47,680
No, let's set the camera
on the bed there,
146
00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:50,040
and then we'll shoot the
act of the conception,
147
00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:51,800
that's the plan. Right?
148
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:54,170
To shoot the... the actual...
149
00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:55,940
I don't think we need
to make a porn video.
150
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,350
We're just making, like, a loving...
151
00:06:58,450 --> 00:07:00,380
I thought this was just like foreplay.
152
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:01,800
No, it won't be a porn movie,
153
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:03,840
I'm not gonna show anything
like penetration...
154
00:07:03,940 --> 00:07:06,660
We got this motel for a conception.
- Hold on a second. Let's...
155
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,940
I thought that was the point of this.
156
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:08,941
You said that I could do this.
157
00:07:09,041 --> 00:07:11,530
You said that we could shoot,
like, make... document...
158
00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:13,230
You know when I say I have a boundary,
159
00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:14,760
and then you cross the boundary,
160
00:07:14,860 --> 00:07:16,120
and then I say, "You just
crossed my boundary"?
161
00:07:16,220 --> 00:07:18,450
You're crossing my boundary.
162
00:07:23,470 --> 00:07:25,400
Baby.
- You feel good.
163
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:27,280
OK, so when you cum,
164
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,210
you just have to stay
inside me for a little bit
165
00:07:29,310 --> 00:07:31,340
so that the semen doesn't
all fall out of me. OK?
166
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,500
Yeah, I got it.
167
00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:36,720
And I'm gonna put my
legs up against the wall
168
00:07:36,820 --> 00:07:39,000
for like an hour and a
half, just so you know.
169
00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:41,090
Yeah, I got you. Baby, you feel so good.
170
00:07:41,190 --> 00:07:43,220
And just really thrust when you cum,
171
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,790
so it goes into my cervix.
172
00:07:44,890 --> 00:07:47,380
I got it. I got it. I understand.
173
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,400
Are you ready?
- I'm gonna cum.
174
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:52,700
Yeah! I love you so...
175
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,280
My God! You are filming!
176
00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:56,770
No, I'm not.
- You're filming!
177
00:07:56,870 --> 00:08:00,210
My God, put that down.
- I'm so close.
178
00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:02,670
Get off me. Get off me.
- I'm just shooting a part of it.
179
00:08:02,770 --> 00:08:04,710
You knew we were gonna...
we were shooting a video...
180
00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:07,650
You never respect anybody's boundaries.
181
00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:10,060
Do you wanna do this
or not? I'm so close.
182
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,420
My God.
- It's not about boundaries.
183
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:15,320
Let go of me!
- The idea was to shoot the special night.
184
00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:17,520
Baby, please?
- Get off.
185
00:08:18,860 --> 00:08:20,360
Listen, baby, I'm sorry, OK?
186
00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:22,020
Put that away. Will
you just put it away?
187
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,860
Why?
- You're so beautiful.
188
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,660
It's a nice document
to have, like when...
189
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,060
I won't shoot anything
if you don't want me to.
190
00:08:29,230 --> 00:08:32,240
I thought the idea was we're
gonna shoot the special night...
191
00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:35,660
and preserve it, to, like,
our actual conception
192
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,060
of a baby that we're doing together.
193
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:38,980
I want to do what Richard Linklater did,
194
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:40,880
and take it even further,
you know what I mean,
195
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:42,120
with "Boyhood."
196
00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:45,140
Well, Richard Linklater
is an actual artist.
197
00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:47,680
Thanks. I mean, I mean...
198
00:08:49,690 --> 00:08:50,780
You know what? Nothing
makes me feel better
199
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,720
than trying to ruin your self-esteem.
200
00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:55,080
I don't need you for that.
201
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:58,900
OK. Baby, I...
202
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,630
I sometimes acquiesce to your
father's strange desires,
203
00:09:02,730 --> 00:09:05,500
and, um, it's not always
a smart move on my part,
204
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,210
but, it appears
to be what's happening.
205
00:09:09,310 --> 00:09:12,030
So get the fuck over here
and let's make a baby.
206
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:16,580
You know, um...
207
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,820
Aw, you smell like coffee. It's nice.
208
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,420
Really? Yeah? Is
it nice? That's good.
209
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,850
I love you. I'm really
excited about this.
210
00:09:23,950 --> 00:09:26,020
Me too.
- Really excited.
211
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,720
OK. Well, if everything goes well,
212
00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:31,060
we'll see ya in nine months,
I guess, all right?
213
00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:45,210
I love you.
214
00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:47,710
I'm gonna cum.
215
00:09:47,810 --> 00:09:49,210
Yeah?
- I'm gonna cum.
216
00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:52,150
I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna cum.
217
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:55,020
I'm coming!!
218
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,840
God!
219
00:10:06,330 --> 00:10:07,960
God.
220
00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:09,960
My God.
221
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,600
God, that felt so good.
222
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,000
Love you.
223
00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:29,080
Do you?
224
00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:35,660
I'm sorry.
225
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,590
I did, I'm...
226
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:41,590
I...
227
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,240
That was an accident.
228
00:10:49,340 --> 00:10:51,100
OK?
229
00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:59,010
You said you weren't going to do that.
230
00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:02,110
I swear to God, it was an
accident. It slipped out.
231
00:11:11,260 --> 00:11:13,920
You wanna watch "Frasier"?
232
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,230
Where's the remote control?
233
00:11:18,070 --> 00:11:20,720
I just had one here before.
234
00:11:21,670 --> 00:11:24,040
Baby, it was an accident.
I'm sorry. Seriously.
235
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:26,600
We'll try again later.
- You pulled out.
236
00:11:34,810 --> 00:11:36,950
Rosie.
237
00:11:37,050 --> 00:11:38,850
Don't look at me like that.
238
00:11:38,950 --> 00:11:39,950
What are you doing?
239
00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:41,550
I'm just checking out to see
240
00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:43,200
if we're gonna make a documentary,
241
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:45,660
it should be about the
whole kit-and-kaboodle,
242
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,600
the whole evening.
- You can turn that off now,
243
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:49,100
because we're doing the conception thing
244
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,790
and we'll try it again later.
245
00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:51,830
Is that what we're gonna do?
246
00:11:51,930 --> 00:11:53,740
We're gonna do the conception thing?
247
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,100
Later.
- OK.
248
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,840
I'm gonna take a shower, actually.
249
00:11:57,940 --> 00:12:01,440
Erol, do you want kids?
250
00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:11,420
Have you seen the Pert Plus?
251
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,390
It's not in the shower.
252
00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:16,420
Hey, Rosie. Turn that off.
253
00:12:17,790 --> 00:12:19,120
Watch TV.
254
00:12:21,860 --> 00:12:24,150
Remote control.
255
00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:26,430
These fuckin' things. You can't
turn these thing on anymore
256
00:12:26,530 --> 00:12:28,320
without a remote control.
257
00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:29,780
Ridiculous.
258
00:12:30,890 --> 00:12:33,250
Erol, do you want kids?
259
00:12:34,940 --> 00:12:37,080
I just wanna know where
the remote control is.
260
00:12:37,180 --> 00:12:40,510
Are you ready to have kids?
261
00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:42,220
Yeah.
262
00:12:44,020 --> 00:12:45,260
OK, fine. You know what?
263
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,280
If you're ready to have kids,
264
00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:48,340
then I'm just gonna take your own sperm
265
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,460
and stick it right in my fucking cunt.
266
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,060
I'm gonna stick your
sperm right in here.
267
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,460
Don't do that.
- Yeah. No, no, no.
268
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,100
You can't get pregnant that way anyway.
269
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,140
Do you know how you can get pregnant?
270
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,400
This is exactly how
you can get pregnant.
271
00:12:57,500 --> 00:13:00,230
You stick the sperm into your vagina.
272
00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:02,500
That's how it works.
- That's very unhygienic.
273
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,540
We actually told our unborn Victoria.
274
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,370
Don't do that. Stop doing that.
- No. Hey. Gimme...
275
00:13:08,470 --> 00:13:10,540
Stop doing it! Seriously.
That's not, like, healthy.
276
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,260
Go, like, flush it out.
277
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,060
If you get pregnant that way,
278
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,710
the baby's gonna be diseased.
279
00:13:15,810 --> 00:13:18,650
Go flush it out... in the bathroom.
280
00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:21,350
Just go do that. Flush it out. OK?
281
00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:24,850
Wash it out.
282
00:13:34,970 --> 00:13:37,180
Get away from me.
- Go wash yourself.
283
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,170
Go wash yourself. OK?
284
00:13:39,270 --> 00:13:41,670
You don't want kids at all.
285
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,610
I don't know what to tell you, babe.
286
00:13:49,450 --> 00:13:51,560
I've already said it.
I've already told you.
287
00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:54,980
It was an accident. Drop it, OK?
288
00:13:57,220 --> 00:13:59,800
I mean... Please, look at me.
289
00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:01,420
No.
290
00:14:01,750 --> 00:14:02,800
What? You're... OK?
291
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:05,500
You are a fucking coward.
292
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,560
What are you doing?
293
00:14:06,660 --> 00:14:08,700
I'm leaving. I'm just leaving.
294
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:09,940
I don't want to be here anymore.
295
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:10,970
I don't want to be around you,
296
00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:13,300
I don't even want to even look at you.
297
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,340
Rosie, will you please...
298
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,180
You're being ridiculous.
299
00:14:17,910 --> 00:14:20,150
To your unborn baby: You need
to know this about your mom.
300
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,980
She's been very patient.
- She's very histrionic
301
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,960
if she doesn't get what she
wants when she wants it.
302
00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:26,750
Give me this.
- What are you...
303
00:14:26,850 --> 00:14:28,160
You're packing?
- I'm packing.
304
00:14:28,260 --> 00:14:30,220
Are we on "Days of our Lives"?
305
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,660
What is this, a soap opera?
- Yeah. You know what?
306
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:36,490
Is that what...
- You already said that you were ready!
307
00:14:36,590 --> 00:14:39,900
Hey, that hurts!
- Two years ago! Two years!
308
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,170
You know what else hurts?
Lies! Long-term lies!
309
00:14:43,270 --> 00:14:46,160
Hey, unborn baby, this is what
you got to look forward to, OK?
310
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:47,380
Imagine this...
- This is marriage!
311
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,310
This is as good as it fucking gets!
312
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:51,500
You're in your bedroom...
- I know! I've been in other relationships,
313
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,040
and they're all fucking terrible!
314
00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:54,900
This is pretty much normal.
315
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,140
This is better than normal, actually.
316
00:14:57,410 --> 00:14:59,900
That's your mom there. You're
gonna come into this world,
317
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,520
and that's what you have to deal with.
- Long-term lies!
318
00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:03,300
And I don't just want to leave him now;
319
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,480
I've wanted to leave him for so long.
320
00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:07,020
I have so many backup plans.
321
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,180
I have a backup plan for the
backup plan for the backup plan.
322
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,760
There's the guy at Starbucks
323
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:12,140
who's really nice and kind of flirts
324
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,900
every time I give him an
extra 50 fucking cents
325
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,430
on his tips,
326
00:15:16,530 --> 00:15:18,840
or my friend Mikhaila, I
mean, she's a lesbian,
327
00:15:18,940 --> 00:15:21,320
I could be a lesbian, I'm totally
interested in being a lesbian,
328
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,700
that would be so much better than this,
329
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,970
and I would raise my frickin'
babies on a farm, with goats!
330
00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:29,450
That'd be kids, you know
what I mean? Kids and kids.
331
00:15:29,550 --> 00:15:31,950
Kids are goat babies. Sheep
doesn't enter into it.
332
00:15:32,050 --> 00:15:35,700
You're gonna be crazy?
- Crazy? I'm crazy? Yeah.
333
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,020
No, you ruined my chances of having kids
334
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,960
while I'm a fertile human being!
335
00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:42,120
I'm not crazy. I feel sane, actually.
336
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:44,720
For the first time in our whole
relationship, I feel sane.
337
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:46,640
I'm saying what I think, which is that
338
00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:49,480
you are the most manipulative bastard
339
00:15:49,580 --> 00:15:50,840
on the history of the planet.
340
00:15:50,940 --> 00:15:53,800
Actually, you might
just be as manipulative
341
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:55,480
as every other human on the planet,
342
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,500
as every other male human,
343
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,670
because you're all so cruel.
344
00:16:02,180 --> 00:16:03,810
Yeah.
345
00:16:04,850 --> 00:16:06,500
Yeah.
346
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,880
Great.
347
00:16:08,980 --> 00:16:11,000
Did you get it all out of your system?
348
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,350
You feeling better now?
349
00:16:16,190 --> 00:16:18,680
I just really want to have a kid.
350
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,160
At the end of the day,
351
00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:23,300
there are other rooms, right?
352
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,970
Other days.
353
00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:27,970
I already waited though
all the other days.
354
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:38,310
I'm gonna sing you a
little tune as you leave.
355
00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:40,810
That's great, take the
Doritos. That's great.
356
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,360
What is it? Why are you
looking at me like that?!
357
00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:47,240
This is absurd! We'll do it
again in a little while!
358
00:16:57,420 --> 00:16:59,260
I'm getting on my knees.
Seriously, I love you so much.
359
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,540
Please, no. You can't go.
360
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:02,840
Please. I'm begging you.
361
00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:05,000
I'm ready. Seriously.
362
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,860
You cannot leave. Don't leave.
363
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,640
Get out of the way, Erol.
Get out of the way.
364
00:17:09,740 --> 00:17:11,340
Seriously. You're gonna come back.
- Get out of the way.
365
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,010
You're coming back.
- No, I'm not coming back.
366
00:17:14,110 --> 00:17:16,820
Rosie. Rosie.
- I don't... This fucking thing.
367
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,720
Please don't leave. OK, I'm sorry.
368
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:21,020
Leave me alone. Just leave me alone.
369
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,240
I'm sorry. Listen, I'm sorry.
370
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:24,820
You're not sorry. You are not sorry.
371
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:25,980
Get out of the way.
372
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:27,620
I do love you, Erol, I really do.
373
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,200
I just... hate you.
374
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:30,820
So you don't love me, basically?
375
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,200
Is that what you're saying? Never did?
376
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:34,860
I just wish I never had.
377
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:37,830
I forgot my phone. Can
I have it, please?
378
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,060
Thank you.
- I'm not ready.
379
00:18:43,180 --> 00:18:47,640
I'm sorry, I'm not. I'm not ready.
380
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:51,010
OK? I want to be.
381
00:18:51,110 --> 00:18:53,740
I want to be.
382
00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:56,520
And you're so excited,
383
00:18:56,620 --> 00:18:58,080
and I know you want to have a baby,
384
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,060
and I look at you and I... and I...
385
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,500
I want to be excited
too, but I'm terrified,
386
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,540
and I just know, I just know...
387
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,180
I'm know I'm gonna be a bad
father and I'm gonna lose you
388
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,640
and I'd rather...
389
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,360
I don't wanna...
390
00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:13,530
I'm just not ready. I
don't... I don't know.
391
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,800
Besides that, I don't...
392
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,370
I'm sorry. OK?
393
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,620
I just feel really alone.
394
00:19:45,230 --> 00:19:48,340
I want to do this so much.
395
00:19:48,630 --> 00:19:51,600
I don't wanna do it by myself.
396
00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:07,720
Erol, and I don't want to have
just any kid in the world.
397
00:20:07,820 --> 00:20:10,780
I really wanted to have your kid.
398
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:17,340
God. God.
399
00:22:48,420 --> 00:22:49,910
911, what's your emergency?
400
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,990
I'm scared.
29295
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