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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:03,295 ♪ They was sleeping on us, now they waking up ♪ 2 00:00:03,295 --> 00:00:05,214 ♪ Why you do the most when you ain't done enough ♪ 3 00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:08,091 ♪ Ay, ay, always wants the love but never show enough ♪ 4 00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:09,635 Are you number one... ♪ 5 00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:10,844 Thanks for hanging out, man. 6 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,471 I've been going a little stir-crazy. 7 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,139 It's not all bad, though, actually, 8 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,099 'cause I've been getting pretty into artisanal wallpaper. 9 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,143 It's a really cool community. 10 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,229 Finally. 11 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:24,191 You know, as cool as your bachelor life sounds, 12 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,151 I do think you should get out more. 13 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:28,111 Maybe meet someone. 14 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,905 I don't know. I mean, I'm not even divorced. 15 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,698 Doesn't have to be anything serious. 16 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,200 I like serious, though. 17 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,701 You know, I'm much more of a relationship guy 18 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,161 than I am a sex guy. 19 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,039 Ah. There's a little sex guy in all of us. 20 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,208 Well, now I'm imagining a little sex guy 21 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,876 inside of me, which I do not love. 22 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,420 What if you and me, we go out, 23 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,172 have a boys' night. If you meet a lady, dope. 24 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,675 If not, no worries. Super low-key. 25 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:52,469 Um, yeah, that sounds good. I'll-- I'll try. 26 00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,430 - Gonna play? - Oh, yeah, sorry. 27 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,517 Hey. 28 00:00:58,517 --> 00:00:59,977 What is that, 21-1? 29 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,479 Yeah, it's 21-1. 30 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,400 (phone chimes) 31 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,370 (phone chimes) 32 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,333 NATHANIEL: Sam. Come in. 33 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,211 - Have a seat. - SAMANTHA: Okay. 34 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:30,716 Uh, wanted to talk to you about the... 35 00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:33,135 about the hot goss. 36 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,345 - The what? - Like, I'm new here, 37 00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:36,722 so I'm, like, getting up to speed. 38 00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:38,599 So, who's weird? 39 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,058 Who's cool? 40 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:43,228 Who do we avoid, right? Like, who's the worst? 41 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,314 I really don't want to do this, okay? 42 00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:47,441 I-I mean, I used to do stuff like this all the time, 43 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,109 but now I just want to work. 44 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,402 - So... - Come on, I got no one 45 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,029 to talk to about this stuff. 46 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,947 What about Aaron in sales? Like... 47 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,282 - Come on. - He's not annoying? 48 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,616 Come on, you can't tell me he's not. 49 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,201 But he's cute; he, like, dresses well, 50 00:01:58,201 --> 00:01:59,411 so he's got that going for him. 51 00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:02,122 You can't say that. You're his boss. 52 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,876 Can I say handsome? What about swank? 53 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,085 - No. - Foxy. 54 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,129 - What? - Looking foxy. 55 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,256 - Ugh, don't say "foxy." - What's wrong with that? 56 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,425 Oh, come on, man. What is guys' obsession 57 00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:15,302 with complimenting the way people look? 58 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,304 Like, what do you think is gonna happen if you don't? 59 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,898 Actually, you know what? This is a hot take. 60 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,691 - It is? - Yes, this is like, 61 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,486 is this the end of compliments in the workplace? 62 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,071 That's really good, Sam, 63 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,614 - I want you to write that up. - Okay. 64 00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:37,449 We'll call it "Sam's Hot Takes." 65 00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,451 Cool, yeah, I-I would love that. 66 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,994 You could just do a regular thing. 67 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,080 What if we call it this: 68 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,040 "Sober Sam's Hot Takes"? 69 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,626 It's your perspective, it's your angle. 70 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:50,128 Right. Yeah, no, let me, uh, let me think about that. 71 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,838 - Sleep on it, sleep on it. - Okay, yeah. 72 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,049 Ooh! "Sober Sam Sleeps On It." 73 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:56,134 Yeah, okay. 74 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,136 Picture your, like, bio, and it's, like, a drawing of you, 75 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,472 and you're, like, chewing on your pen, 76 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,140 and you're drooling 'cause you're sleeping, 77 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,936 and then the drool becomes the pen ink, right? 78 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,688 Oh. 79 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,815 ♪ ♪ 80 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:17,698 ♪ So, you're looking for the truth ♪ 81 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:23,495 ♪ You think you want to know the truth ♪ 82 00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,373 BOB: Are you sure you don't want to hang out with us? 83 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,833 We have big plans. 84 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,752 We're gonna watch TV and eat frozen waffles. 85 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,087 He is eating the waffles. 86 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,505 - (laughs) - (tense chuckle) 87 00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,006 I'm so glad you're dating again. 88 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,049 Me, too. 89 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,884 Especially Alex. 90 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,302 'Cause he's a normie, you know? 91 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,597 Like, a person who doesn't have to attend meetings 92 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,307 every single day to live a normal life. 93 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,351 Well, you don't have to go to meetings 94 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:48,019 every single day, Samantha. 95 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,355 Yes. Unfortunately, I do. 96 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:53,191 And so do most of the people that I've dated recently. 97 00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:55,026 Which is why he is so exciting. 98 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,696 Like, I know what my shit is, you know, but what's his shit? 99 00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,364 What is his shit? 100 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,701 I don't know. It's probably not that bad. 101 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,245 Well, you can never really know a person, though, can you? 102 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,746 BOB: You know, your mom's not wrong. 103 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,582 It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world 104 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,333 if you carried a little pepper spray with you. 105 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,252 You know, when I was in Ecuador-- 106 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,337 this had to be like 15, 20 years ago... 107 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,423 - Bob? - Real quick. 108 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,300 I was big in the anarcho-environmentalist scene. 109 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,470 What I didn't realize, though, was that the cartels 110 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,388 were targeting the oil company protestors. 111 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:24,848 So, when we fly down there, 112 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,808 and I'm with, I'm with Squirrel and Jerry... 113 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:27,976 Okay, what's happening? 114 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,311 'Cause my Uber's almost here, so I need to... 115 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:31,897 - He is driving me crazy. - Mm-hmm. 116 00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:35,317 He recorded Guy's Grocery Games on my DVR. 117 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,027 - So what? - So... 118 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,612 he deleted my Swedish mystery. 119 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,364 Now, I don't know how Jordskott ends. 120 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:44,451 I cannot escape him. He's always here 121 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,453 - playing his stupid guitar. - Okay. 122 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,914 And why is his shirt in my closet? 123 00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:51,208 He has a perfectly good wardrobe down in the garage. 124 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,752 Okay, Mom, if he's bothering you this much, 125 00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:56,004 - maybe you should take a break. - What do you mean? 126 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:59,758 I mean, if it's not working with Bob, then end it. 127 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,136 Why would you say that? Do you not want me to be happy? 128 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,429 Yes, I want you to be happy. 129 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,598 I'm saying, if you're not-- you-- 130 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,600 I'm trying to be supportive. 131 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,936 Oh, well, there's supportive, and there's undermining. 132 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:12,896 And I need space. 133 00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:15,649 - I get it. - (knocking) 134 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,317 BOB: Hey, what are you guys up to in there? 135 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,735 (whispering): Somebody kill me. 136 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,238 - SAMANTHA: Okay. - Why don't you kill me? 137 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,365 (whispering): Bob, she needs space. 138 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,492 Oh, sp... (clicks tongue) 139 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,327 All right, that was the context clue I was missing. 140 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,412 Um, well, I'm gonna go to the grocery store 141 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:34,125 and get some fixings for Guy's double-fried taquitos. 142 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,294 And I'm gonna go now. 143 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,046 Gah, get out! 144 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:40,257 - He's already gone. - (sighs) 145 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:43,134 Okay, look, I'm-- I'm not gonna say 146 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,178 that I'm glad you were fired, but... 147 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,348 Yeah, I'm not gonna say I'm glad I got fired, either. 148 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:51,017 That was really bad. But this is a silver lining. 149 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,812 I'm just really happy you said you'd go on a date with me. 150 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,605 Come on, did you think I wouldn't? 151 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,191 I didn't want you to think I was just gassing you up at work 152 00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,528 because I was into you, because that's not the truth. 153 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,405 I think you're a really incredible writer. 154 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,656 You could have told me 155 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:05,699 that you were just doing all of that 156 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,908 'cause you thought I was hot. 157 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,451 I think I might have actually preferred it. 158 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,537 You are hot, that's fact. 159 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:14,040 But... you are also a very gifted writer. 160 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,167 - Okay, stop. - You are. 161 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,669 Why-why can't you take a compliment? 162 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,629 Sorry, you're right. I'm sorry. 163 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,465 Thank you for the compliment, I really enjoyed it. 164 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:25,176 All right, that was worse than the first time. 165 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:26,720 - (laughs) - I hated that even more. 166 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,264 I used to be just like you. 167 00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,765 I grew up poor in Queens 168 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,851 and I never thought I should be invited to the party. 169 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,186 But truly, there is no invitation. 170 00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:36,479 No one invited me to go to college. 171 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:37,814 I was the first in my family to do it. 172 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,442 I studied so hard, I didn't get laid for four years. 173 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,568 - Wow. - Yeah. 174 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,612 - That's impressive. - Thank you. 175 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:45,405 Did you see what I did there? 176 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,948 - Yes, you sincerely took the compliment. - You complimented me. 177 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,617 I took it, and it-- you felt good. 178 00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,577 - It was nice, yeah. - (chuckles) 179 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,621 - Sir. Madam. - Yes. 180 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:56,499 Here's your Biondi Santi Brunello Di Montalcino. 181 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,876 It's bold, dry with a brightness, 182 00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:00,712 tampered by notes of raisin, clove, and plum. 183 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,464 - Um... - (cork pops) 184 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,382 Sorry, none for me, thank you, I'm on antibiotics. 185 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,801 Oh, I didn't know you were si-- 186 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,637 We didn't have to go out if you're sick. 187 00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:09,971 - I'm not. I'm not. - ALEX: Oh. 188 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,431 It's just day six. 189 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,141 Day six of the course. 190 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,060 You know, trying to be a more responsible adult 191 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,896 and finish the whole thing for once in my life, 192 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,939 you know what I mean? It's like, you get the thing, 193 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:21,650 and then you take it for two days, and then you feel better, 194 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,859 and then they just sit in your drawer forever. 195 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:23,777 And so, I'm just trying this new thing where I-- 196 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,445 But you should have the wine. 197 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,946 ALEX: I'll take some wine. Yeah, I'm healthy. 198 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:27,947 (both chuckle) 199 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,617 I will have hers and mine. (chuckles) 200 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,786 - Perfect. - (wine pouring) 201 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,204 - ALEX: Thank you so much. - SOMMELIER: You're welcome. 202 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,080 - (Alex chuckles) - (exhales) 203 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,710 (classical music playing) 204 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,934 (door opens) 205 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,589 JOEL: So, um, what do you like to do? 206 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,718 Oh, I like to lay in bed a lot and watch TV, 207 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,386 and sometimes eat in bed 208 00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:33,430 if it's not, like, a red sauce or anything. 209 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,806 That's so funny. 210 00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,516 Actually, I've been eating in bed a lot, too. 211 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,144 Mainly cereal, but I'm also eating cereal 212 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:40,687 for most meals, so it's a lot. 213 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,814 My friends are like, "You're so depressed." 214 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,691 And I'm like, what if I just enjoy the things 215 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,860 that happen to be symptoms of depression? 216 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,945 Yeah, no, I totally get that. 217 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,699 Though, to be fair, I have been pretty depressed. 218 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:56,202 Does it count as depression if we do it together? 219 00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:58,788 I'm not sure. 220 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,082 Let's find out? 221 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,586 O-Okay, yeah. Great, that sounds great. 222 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,796 Great. I'm gonna go get my stuff. 223 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:07,839 Cool. 224 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,299 KENZIE: We're gonna go. 225 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,384 DREA: Oh. Okay. 226 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,344 So, uh, we're about to get out of here 227 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:14,596 and get some cereal. 228 00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,973 What-- what does that mean? 229 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,517 - Oh, like, is it a sex metaphor or something? - Yeah. 230 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,437 No, no, we're literally just gonna get cereal. 231 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:23,897 That's weird. 232 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,733 (chuckling): But I love that for you. 233 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,818 I think I'm gonna stick around and get another one. 234 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,237 Another? Is that, is that, like, okay? 235 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,448 Oh, yeah. No, I'm just practicing moderation. 236 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,908 Doesn't really work for everybody, 237 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,618 but the other way didn't really work for me. 238 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,913 So, cut myself off at two beers, no hard liquor. 239 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,082 - Be fine. - Okay, cool. 240 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,752 - You ready to go? - Yeah. 241 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:51,257 Uh, hey, you want to stay for one more? 242 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,134 Actually, I gotta go. 243 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:56,304 I-I have a really early Pilates class. 244 00:09:57,555 --> 00:10:00,391 Of course, yeah. Get home safe. 245 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,768 Okay. 246 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,314 Hey, buddy, you ready for the check? 247 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:07,732 Can I get another beer? 248 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,609 Yeah, you got it. 249 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,820 And, uh... could you add a shot to that? 250 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,655 BARTENDER: Yeah. 251 00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,865 ALEX: I usually hate doggie bags, right? 252 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,450 Like, they're so stupid. 253 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,577 But this one has wine in it, so it's, like, so much cooler. 254 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:20,787 (laughs) 255 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,581 Is everything all right? 256 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:26,126 Oh. Yeah. Yeah. 257 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:29,212 No, sorry, I was just, uh, thinking. 258 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:32,006 Like, good thoughts, or "this date sucked" thoughts? 259 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,758 No, I was thinking good thoughts. 260 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,844 (both chuckle) 261 00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,765 (both chuckle) 262 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,517 Let me give you a ride home. 263 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,311 Actually, Alex, um, just real quick, 264 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,730 I wanted to tell you that, um... 265 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,988 My friend got dumped tonight. 266 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,657 Oh. I'm sorry, that's terrible. 267 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,659 Yeah, she's actually really upset, 268 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,828 and, like, she lives pretty close, 269 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,246 so I just feel like I should go check in on her 270 00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,539 and make sure she's okay, you know. 271 00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:05,665 Yeah, do whatever you have to do. 272 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,333 This was really great, though, so... 273 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,085 - Yes, it was. - Okay. 274 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,503 - Thanks for dinner. - Have a good night. 275 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,713 - Get home safe. - Okay. Yeah, you, too. 276 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:12,964 - Okay. - Okay. 277 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,844 ♪ ♪ 278 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:28,813 (door closes) 279 00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,273 (Bob sighs) 280 00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:31,900 All right, so they didn't have cilantro, 281 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,693 so I got parsley, 'cause it's, like, the same thing. 282 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:34,903 What is all this? 283 00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:37,780 I am redoing the photos. 284 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:40,825 Oh, and here's one of my favorite students 285 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,702 who said I was like a mother to him. 286 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,121 So, that's a keeper. 287 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,878 Uh... 288 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,838 who are-- who are these people? 289 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,090 David's third cousins. 290 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,676 Third cousins, okay. Carol? 291 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,262 She has crossed a line, Bob. 292 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,264 I-Is that from her recovery program? 293 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:06,851 She has written down everything she hates about everyone. 294 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,811 It's 75 pages long, 295 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,564 and 50 of those pages are about me. 296 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,483 Fif... Wow. 297 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,777 50 pages, Bob. 298 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,487 Okay, Carol, you need to, 299 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,113 you know, put that back where you found it. 300 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,074 And she wrote about you, too. 301 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,742 Great. Okay, Carol, please. 302 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,827 Nothing positive can come from you reading that. 303 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,663 She wrote about you in great detail, Bob. 304 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:29,415 My love, I can't stress this any further. 305 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,876 You need to let this go. Do not engage in this... 306 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,504 I'm not engaging with either one of you. 307 00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,674 I'm engaging with this, and this. 308 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:38,758 And good night. 309 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,885 Great. Okay. 310 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,228 (phone chimes) 311 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,449 (exhales) 312 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,993 (scoffs) 313 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,928 (toilet flushing) 314 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,099 (loud gurgling) 315 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:34,814 FELICIA: So, you told him you don't drink 316 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,065 - because you're on antibiotics. - Yes. 317 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,817 But I didn't mean to do that. 318 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,236 It just sort of fell out of my mouth. 319 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,821 You know, that's actually pretty clever. 320 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,656 What? No, it's not, it's embarrassing. 321 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,033 Now, I would have to, like, 322 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,492 make it a whole thing and tell him the truth. 323 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,995 I mean, is it even worth that awkward of a conversation? 324 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,496 I mean, yeah, if you care about him, 325 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,664 you should tell him what's up. 326 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,082 Are you sure? 327 00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,542 What would I even say? 328 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,378 "Hey, Alex, thanks so much for that wonderful date. 329 00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:59,964 "I'm an alcoholic, but I lied to you about that, 330 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,133 "because I'm an alcoholic. And then I lied to you 331 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,634 about my friend being dumped, 'cause I'm an alcoholic." 332 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,803 I think lying is for all the people. 333 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,806 It's sort of our thing, though. 334 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,433 There's even a term for it in the program. 335 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:13,519 - It's called "old behavior." - Oh, my God, Sam, stop, okay? 336 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,063 You don't own lying on a date. 337 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,522 I've been lied to by plenty of dudes. 338 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,608 You alcoholics just think you're all special. 339 00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,985 - We are special. - Okay, look. 340 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,862 Everybody makes mistakes. 341 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,864 You just gotta own up to 'em so you can sleep 342 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,532 like you just took a Benadryl. 343 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,867 Yeah. 344 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:30,995 I still don't want to tell him. 345 00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,538 Oh, my God, of course you don't. 346 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,207 Who wants to do anything? 347 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,376 There she is. 348 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,878 Do you actually need something this time? 349 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:39,962 'Cause I'm sort of busy working on that column. 350 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,672 Man, I gotta tell you, it is a shame 351 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,883 I can't compliment that cute coat. 352 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,009 - Love it. - (phone buzzing) 353 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,677 Okay, what do you need, Nathaniel? 354 00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:48,221 Just want to shoot the breeze. 355 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,518 - Okay. - All right. 356 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,852 Little jam sesh. 357 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:57,271 Nathaniel, listen. 358 00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,440 I am not the person for you to shoot the breeze with, okay? 359 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,527 I'm your employee, and I'm trying to do good work. 360 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:05,446 If you need to talk to somebody, that's totally understandable. 361 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,031 But just call your wife. 362 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,407 You were always going on about 363 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,909 how much you loved Karen at Bzzzzzzzzzz, 364 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,244 and how great your communication was. 365 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,453 So, communicate with her. 366 00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:14,413 Just don't do it with me, please. 367 00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,040 A-And please stop calling me in here 368 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,834 unless it's about an assignment, okay? 369 00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,545 Uh, Kar-- Karen left me. 370 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,132 - What? - Uh, yeah, she's, uh... 371 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:27,552 she's-she's currently being reamed by a New York Yankee. 372 00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:32,056 - Oh. - Yeah. 373 00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:34,892 That's awful, and I'm-- I'm really sorry. 374 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,227 But I'm still not the person 375 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,937 you should be talking to about this, okay? 376 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,857 Uh, I would say you are the exact person 377 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:42,608 that I should be talking to about this. 378 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:47,029 I don't know anyone else whose life got screwed up so bad 379 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:50,032 and then came out of it okay and is thriving. 380 00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,243 - You're the perfect person to talk to. - Okay. 381 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,911 Fine. 382 00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:55,454 (sighs) 383 00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,667 (sighs) 384 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,086 Is he an important Yankee? 385 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:04,463 Uh, it's Nestor Cortes. 386 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,466 - Whew. - Yeah. 387 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:11,304 And you know, I just thought taking this job, 388 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,972 coming to Boston, I could have 389 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,057 just, like, a fresh start. 390 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,601 But, God, I hate it here. 391 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,686 I just hate Boston. 392 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:21,022 I hate "chowdah." 393 00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:24,150 It's warm fish juice. It's a con, it's bullshit. 394 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,861 But you know what, none of that matters, 395 00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,655 because my wife left me for a Yankee. 396 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,032 Sorry. 397 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,326 (sighs) 398 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,329 (footsteps approaching) 399 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,207 Hi. 400 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,753 Are you feeling better about that whole diary meshugas? 401 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,671 - Sure. - Yeah. 402 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,632 Mm, see? 403 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:50,092 Get some food in your belly, a little time, 404 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,803 gives you perspective, and you can go on with your life 405 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:56,974 and just let go of all that stuff that you read, oof. 406 00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,394 (whispering): I'm not gonna do that, Bob. 407 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,320 ♪ ♪ 408 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,033 (exhales) 409 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:17,828 Oh. 410 00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,288 - Hey. - Hey. 411 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,374 Um, I didn't know you were gonna come by. 412 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,959 I would have wore hard pants. 413 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,336 - Oh. - You know. Please, come in. 414 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:27,004 Thanks. 415 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,384 Wow. 416 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:34,971 Really don't have, uh, much stuff, huh? 417 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,180 Yeah, it's kinda weird, right? 418 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,975 Do you, like, murder people? 419 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,518 No, my parents moved around a lot, 420 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,478 so I learned not to get attached to things. 421 00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:43,604 - Huh. - Yeah. 422 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,190 Where do you keep your change, or your keys? 423 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,900 I can't tell you that until we get closer. 424 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,026 - Right. - Yeah. 425 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,903 - Right. - Come on, come sit down. 426 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,822 Oh, yeah. 427 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,742 - You all right? - I'm gonna stand. 428 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,744 Okay. Should I stand? 429 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,246 - No, you can sit. - Okay. 430 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:03,124 Um, so I just, uh, came here to tell you something, 431 00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:04,834 and I'm just gonna tell you. 432 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,836 I lied to you. 433 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:09,046 I am not on antibiotics, 434 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,965 I'm actually a recovering alcoholic. 435 00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,717 That's why I don't drink. 436 00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,260 I don't know why I didn't just tell you that. 437 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,928 I should have. It's not something 438 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,847 that I'm, like, ashamed of or anything. 439 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:18,931 I mean, I used to be, 440 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,891 but I don't think that I am anymore. 441 00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,435 Also, my friend didn't get dumped. 442 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,061 I don't know why I said that either. 443 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:28,065 But... I'm sorry that I lied, 444 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:31,527 and I'm sorry I'm so much. 445 00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,321 I really wish that I wasn't. 446 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:36,324 I really like you, 447 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,409 and I've really liked getting to know you. 448 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:41,954 And so, I hope that you have a very nice life. 449 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,539 And, uh, goodbye. 450 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,166 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 451 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:47,251 What are you doing? Where are you going? 452 00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,503 I-- I don't give a shit about any of that. 453 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:53,466 Well, I care that you got healthy 454 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,551 and you stopped drinking, but... 455 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,388 I like you, and I don't think you're too much. 456 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:02,099 And we can still smoke weed, right? 457 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:05,436 No, I-- I don't do that either, actually. 458 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:08,731 That's a bit of a bummer, but we'll get past that, right? 459 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,609 Can you sit down? 460 00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:15,154 Okay. 461 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,492 You all right? 462 00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:25,164 So, you just want to, like, keep seeing each other? 463 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,541 Yeah. 464 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:30,795 (chuckles) 465 00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:32,922 You're the weirdest person I've ever met. 466 00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,965 Thank you. 467 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,801 Good job taking a compliment. 468 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,219 You taught me well. 469 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,267 Yes! 470 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,519 (both laughing) 471 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,188 - That was dope! - (laughing) 472 00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,365 (sighs) 473 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,622 I can't do it. I can't. 474 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:07,873 I can't do it. 475 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,167 - You can. - Oh, damn it. 476 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,044 This is how you're gonna move on. 477 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,171 I want to wipe my ass with this. 478 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:15,506 I know. 479 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,634 I want to just grab it, 480 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,512 I want to go back to front, and then piss on it. 481 00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,305 I know. 482 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:24,807 You have to put it on. 483 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,061 (sighing): Oh, man. 484 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,147 (groans) 485 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,648 Oh, my God. 486 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,900 Oh, God. 487 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,278 That just feels wrong. 488 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,280 (Nathaniel sighs) 489 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,990 You look... foxy. 490 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,618 I know you're lying. 491 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:45,995 I am. 492 00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,164 - But thank you. - You're welcome. 493 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,416 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 494 00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:55,016 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35953

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