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1
00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:03,295
♪ They was sleeping on us,
now they waking up ♪
2
00:00:03,295 --> 00:00:05,214
♪ Why you do the most
when you ain't done enough ♪
3
00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:08,091
♪ Ay, ay, always wants the love
but never show enough ♪
4
00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:09,635
Are you number one... ♪
5
00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:10,844
Thanks for hanging out, man.
6
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,471
I've been going
a little stir-crazy.
7
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,139
It's not all bad, though, actually,
8
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,099
'cause I've been getting
pretty into artisanal wallpaper.
9
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,143
It's a really cool community.
10
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,229
Finally.
11
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:24,191
You know, as cool
as your bachelor life sounds,
12
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,151
I do think you should
get out more.
13
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:28,111
Maybe meet someone.
14
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,905
I don't know.
I mean, I'm not even divorced.
15
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,698
Doesn't have to be
anything serious.
16
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,200
I like serious, though.
17
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,701
You know, I'm much more
of a relationship guy
18
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,161
than I am a sex guy.
19
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,039
Ah. There's a little sex guy
in all of us.
20
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,208
Well, now I'm imagining
a little sex guy
21
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,876
inside of me,
which I do not love.
22
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,420
What if you and me,
we go out,
23
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,172
have a boys' night.
If you meet a lady, dope.
24
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,675
If not, no worries.
Super low-key.
25
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:52,469
Um, yeah, that sounds good.
I'll-- I'll try.
26
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,430
- Gonna play?
- Oh, yeah, sorry.
27
00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,517
Hey.
28
00:00:58,517 --> 00:00:59,977
What is that, 21-1?
29
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,479
Yeah, it's 21-1.
30
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,400
(phone chimes)
31
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,370
(phone chimes)
32
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,333
NATHANIEL:
Sam. Come in.
33
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,211
- Have a seat.
- SAMANTHA: Okay.
34
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:30,716
Uh, wanted to talk to you
about the...
35
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:33,135
about the hot goss.
36
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,345
- The what?
- Like, I'm new here,
37
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:36,722
so I'm, like,
getting up to speed.
38
00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:38,599
So, who's weird?
39
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,058
Who's cool?
40
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:43,228
Who do we avoid, right?
Like, who's the worst?
41
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,314
I really don't want
to do this, okay?
42
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:47,441
I-I mean, I used to do stuff
like this all the time,
43
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,109
but now I just want to work.
44
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,402
- So...
- Come on, I got no one
45
00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,029
to talk to about this stuff.
46
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,947
What about Aaron in sales?
Like...
47
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,282
- Come on.
- He's not annoying?
48
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,616
Come on, you can't tell me
he's not.
49
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,201
But he's cute;
he, like, dresses well,
50
00:01:58,201 --> 00:01:59,411
so he's got that going for him.
51
00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:02,122
You can't say that.
You're his boss.
52
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,876
Can I say handsome?
What about swank?
53
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,085
- No.
- Foxy.
54
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,129
- What?
- Looking foxy.
55
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,256
- Ugh, don't say "foxy."
- What's wrong with that?
56
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,425
Oh, come on, man.
What is guys' obsession
57
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:15,302
with complimenting
the way people look?
58
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,304
Like, what do you think
is gonna happen if you don't?
59
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,898
Actually, you know what?
This is a hot take.
60
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,691
- It is?
- Yes, this is like,
61
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,486
is this the end of compliments
in the workplace?
62
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,071
That's really good, Sam,
63
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,614
- I want you to write that up.
- Okay.
64
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:37,449
We'll call it
"Sam's Hot Takes."
65
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,451
Cool, yeah, I-I would love that.
66
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,994
You could just do
a regular thing.
67
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,080
What if we call it this:
68
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,040
"Sober Sam's Hot Takes"?
69
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,626
It's your perspective,
it's your angle.
70
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:50,128
Right. Yeah, no, let me, uh,
let me think about that.
71
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,838
- Sleep on it, sleep on it.
- Okay, yeah.
72
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,049
Ooh! "Sober Sam Sleeps On It."
73
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:56,134
Yeah, okay.
74
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,136
Picture your, like, bio, and
it's, like, a drawing of you,
75
00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,472
and you're, like,
chewing on your pen,
76
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,140
and you're drooling
'cause you're sleeping,
77
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,936
and then the drool becomes
the pen ink, right?
78
00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,688
Oh.
79
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,815
♪ ♪
80
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:17,698
♪ So, you're looking
for the truth ♪
81
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:23,495
♪ You think you want
to know the truth ♪
82
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,373
BOB: Are you sure you don't
want to hang out with us?
83
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,833
We have big plans.
84
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,752
We're gonna watch TV
and eat frozen waffles.
85
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,087
He is eating the waffles.
86
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,505
- (laughs)
- (tense chuckle)
87
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,006
I'm so glad
you're dating again.
88
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,049
Me, too.
89
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,884
Especially Alex.
90
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,302
'Cause he's a normie, you know?
91
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,597
Like, a person who doesn't have
to attend meetings
92
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,307
every single day
to live a normal life.
93
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,351
Well, you don't have
to go to meetings
94
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:48,019
every single day, Samantha.
95
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,355
Yes.
Unfortunately, I do.
96
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:53,191
And so do most of the people
that I've dated recently.
97
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:55,026
Which is why he is so exciting.
98
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,696
Like, I know what my shit is,
you know, but what's his shit?
99
00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,364
What is his shit?
100
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,701
I don't know.
It's probably not that bad.
101
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,245
Well, you can never really know
a person, though, can you?
102
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,746
BOB:
You know, your mom's not wrong.
103
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,582
It wouldn't be the worst thing
in the world
104
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,333
if you carried a little
pepper spray with you.
105
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,252
You know,
when I was in Ecuador--
106
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,337
this had to be like 15,
20 years ago...
107
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,423
- Bob?
- Real quick.
108
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,300
I was big in the
anarcho-environmentalist scene.
109
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,470
What I didn't realize, though,
was that the cartels
110
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,388
were targeting
the oil company protestors.
111
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:24,848
So, when we fly down there,
112
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,808
and I'm with,
I'm with Squirrel and Jerry...
113
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:27,976
Okay, what's happening?
114
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,311
'Cause my Uber's almost here,
so I need to...
115
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:31,897
- He is driving me crazy.
- Mm-hmm.
116
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:35,317
He recorded Guy's Grocery Games
on my DVR.
117
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,027
- So what?
- So...
118
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,612
he deleted my Swedish mystery.
119
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,364
Now, I don't know
how Jordskott ends.
120
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:44,451
I cannot escape him.
He's always here
121
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,453
- playing his stupid guitar.
- Okay.
122
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,914
And why is his shirt
in my closet?
123
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:51,208
He has a perfectly good wardrobe
down in the garage.
124
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,752
Okay, Mom,
if he's bothering you this much,
125
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:56,004
- maybe you should take a break.
- What do you mean?
126
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:59,758
I mean, if it's not working
with Bob, then end it.
127
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,136
Why would you say that?
Do you not want me to be happy?
128
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,429
Yes, I want you to be happy.
129
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,598
I'm saying, if you're not--
you--
130
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,600
I'm trying to be supportive.
131
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,936
Oh, well, there's supportive,
and there's undermining.
132
00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:12,896
And I need space.
133
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:15,649
- I get it.
- (knocking)
134
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,317
BOB: Hey, what are you guys
up to in there?
135
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,735
(whispering):
Somebody kill me.
136
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,238
- SAMANTHA: Okay.
- Why don't you kill me?
137
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,365
(whispering):
Bob, she needs space.
138
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,492
Oh, sp...
(clicks tongue)
139
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,327
All right, that was
the context clue I was missing.
140
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,412
Um, well, I'm gonna go
to the grocery store
141
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:34,125
and get some fixings
for Guy's double-fried taquitos.
142
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,294
And I'm gonna go now.
143
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,046
Gah, get out!
144
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:40,257
- He's already gone.
- (sighs)
145
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:43,134
Okay, look, I'm--
I'm not gonna say
146
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,178
that I'm glad
you were fired, but...
147
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,348
Yeah, I'm not gonna say
I'm glad I got fired, either.
148
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:51,017
That was really bad.
But this is a silver lining.
149
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,812
I'm just really happy you said
you'd go on a date with me.
150
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,605
Come on,
did you think I wouldn't?
151
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,191
I didn't want you to think I was
just gassing you up at work
152
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,528
because I was into you,
because that's not the truth.
153
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,405
I think you're
a really incredible writer.
154
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,656
You could have told me
155
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:05,699
that you were just doing
all of that
156
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,908
'cause you thought I was hot.
157
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,451
I think I might have
actually preferred it.
158
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,537
You are hot, that's fact.
159
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:14,040
But... you are also
a very gifted writer.
160
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,167
- Okay, stop.
- You are.
161
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,669
Why-why can't you take
a compliment?
162
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,629
Sorry, you're right.
I'm sorry.
163
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,465
Thank you for the compliment,
I really enjoyed it.
164
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:25,176
All right, that was worse
than the first time.
165
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:26,720
- (laughs)
- I hated that even more.
166
00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,264
I used to be just like you.
167
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,765
I grew up poor in Queens
168
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,851
and I never thought I should be
invited to the party.
169
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,186
But truly,
there is no invitation.
170
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:36,479
No one invited me
to go to college.
171
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:37,814
I was the first
in my family to do it.
172
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,442
I studied so hard, I didn't
get laid for four years.
173
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,568
- Wow.
- Yeah.
174
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,612
- That's impressive.
- Thank you.
175
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:45,405
Did you see what I did there?
176
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,948
- Yes, you sincerely
took the compliment. - You complimented me.
177
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,617
I took it, and it--
you felt good.
178
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,577
- It was nice, yeah.
- (chuckles)
179
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,621
- Sir. Madam.
- Yes.
180
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:56,499
Here's your Biondi Santi
Brunello Di Montalcino.
181
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,876
It's bold,
dry with a brightness,
182
00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:00,712
tampered by notes
of raisin, clove, and plum.
183
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,464
- Um...
- (cork pops)
184
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,382
Sorry, none for me, thank you,
I'm on antibiotics.
185
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,801
Oh, I didn't know
you were si--
186
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,637
We didn't have to go out
if you're sick.
187
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:09,971
- I'm not. I'm not.
- ALEX: Oh.
188
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,431
It's just day six.
189
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,141
Day six of the course.
190
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,060
You know, trying to be
a more responsible adult
191
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,896
and finish the whole thing
for once in my life,
192
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,939
you know what I mean?
It's like, you get the thing,
193
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:21,650
and then you take it for two
days, and then you feel better,
194
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,859
and then they just sit
in your drawer forever.
195
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:23,777
And so, I'm just trying
this new thing where I--
196
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,445
But you should have the wine.
197
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,946
ALEX: I'll take some wine.
Yeah, I'm healthy.
198
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:27,947
(both chuckle)
199
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,617
I will have hers and mine.
(chuckles)
200
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,786
- Perfect.
- (wine pouring)
201
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,204
- ALEX: Thank you so much.
- SOMMELIER: You're welcome.
202
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,080
- (Alex chuckles)
- (exhales)
203
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,710
(classical music playing)
204
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,934
(door opens)
205
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,589
JOEL:
So, um, what do you like to do?
206
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,718
Oh, I like to lay in bed
a lot and watch TV,
207
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,386
and sometimes eat in bed
208
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:33,430
if it's not, like,
a red sauce or anything.
209
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,806
That's so funny.
210
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,516
Actually, I've been eating
in bed a lot, too.
211
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,144
Mainly cereal,
but I'm also eating cereal
212
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:40,687
for most meals, so it's a lot.
213
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,814
My friends are like,
"You're so depressed."
214
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,691
And I'm like, what if
I just enjoy the things
215
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,860
that happen to be
symptoms of depression?
216
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,945
Yeah, no, I totally get that.
217
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,699
Though, to be fair,
I have been pretty depressed.
218
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:56,202
Does it count as depression
if we do it together?
219
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:58,788
I'm not sure.
220
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,082
Let's find out?
221
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,586
O-Okay, yeah.
Great, that sounds great.
222
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,796
Great.
I'm gonna go get my stuff.
223
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:07,839
Cool.
224
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,299
KENZIE:
We're gonna go.
225
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,384
DREA:
Oh. Okay.
226
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,344
So, uh, we're about
to get out of here
227
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:14,596
and get some cereal.
228
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,973
What-- what does that mean?
229
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,517
- Oh, like, is it a sex metaphor
or something? - Yeah.
230
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,437
No, no, we're literally
just gonna get cereal.
231
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:23,897
That's weird.
232
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,733
(chuckling):
But I love that for you.
233
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,818
I think I'm gonna stick around
and get another one.
234
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,237
Another?
Is that, is that, like, okay?
235
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,448
Oh, yeah. No, I'm just
practicing moderation.
236
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,908
Doesn't really work
for everybody,
237
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,618
but the other way
didn't really work for me.
238
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,913
So, cut myself off at two beers,
no hard liquor.
239
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,082
- Be fine.
- Okay, cool.
240
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,752
- You ready to go?
- Yeah.
241
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:51,257
Uh, hey, you want to stay
for one more?
242
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,134
Actually, I gotta go.
243
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:56,304
I-I have a really early
Pilates class.
244
00:09:57,555 --> 00:10:00,391
Of course, yeah.
Get home safe.
245
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,768
Okay.
246
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,314
Hey, buddy,
you ready for the check?
247
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:07,732
Can I get another beer?
248
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,609
Yeah, you got it.
249
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,820
And, uh...
could you add a shot to that?
250
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,655
BARTENDER:
Yeah.
251
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,865
ALEX: I usually hate
doggie bags, right?
252
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,450
Like, they're so stupid.
253
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,577
But this one has wine in it,
so it's, like, so much cooler.
254
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:20,787
(laughs)
255
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,581
Is everything all right?
256
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:26,126
Oh. Yeah. Yeah.
257
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:29,212
No, sorry, I was just,
uh, thinking.
258
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:32,006
Like, good thoughts,
or "this date sucked" thoughts?
259
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,758
No, I was thinking
good thoughts.
260
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,844
(both chuckle)
261
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,765
(both chuckle)
262
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,517
Let me give you a ride home.
263
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,311
Actually, Alex, um,
just real quick,
264
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,730
I wanted to tell you that, um...
265
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,988
My friend got dumped tonight.
266
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,657
Oh.
I'm sorry, that's terrible.
267
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,659
Yeah, she's actually
really upset,
268
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,828
and, like,
she lives pretty close,
269
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,246
so I just feel like
I should go check in on her
270
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,539
and make sure
she's okay, you know.
271
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:05,665
Yeah, do whatever
you have to do.
272
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,333
This was really great,
though, so...
273
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,085
- Yes, it was.
- Okay.
274
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,503
- Thanks for dinner.
- Have a good night.
275
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,713
- Get home safe.
- Okay. Yeah, you, too.
276
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:12,964
- Okay.
- Okay.
277
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,844
♪ ♪
278
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:28,813
(door closes)
279
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,273
(Bob sighs)
280
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:31,900
All right, so they didn't
have cilantro,
281
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,693
so I got parsley, 'cause it's,
like, the same thing.
282
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:34,903
What is all this?
283
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:37,780
I am redoing the photos.
284
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:40,825
Oh, and here's one
of my favorite students
285
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,702
who said I was
like a mother to him.
286
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,121
So, that's a keeper.
287
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,878
Uh...
288
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,838
who are--
who are these people?
289
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,090
David's third cousins.
290
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,676
Third cousins, okay. Carol?
291
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,262
She has crossed a line, Bob.
292
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,264
I-Is that from
her recovery program?
293
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:06,851
She has written down everything
she hates about everyone.
294
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,811
It's 75 pages long,
295
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,564
and 50 of those pages
are about me.
296
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,483
Fif... Wow.
297
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,777
50 pages, Bob.
298
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,487
Okay, Carol, you need to,
299
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,113
you know, put that back
where you found it.
300
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,074
And she wrote about you, too.
301
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,742
Great.
Okay, Carol, please.
302
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,827
Nothing positive can come
from you reading that.
303
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,663
She wrote about you
in great detail, Bob.
304
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:29,415
My love, I can't stress this
any further.
305
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,876
You need to let this go.
Do not engage in this...
306
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,504
I'm not engaging
with either one of you.
307
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,674
I'm engaging with this,
and this.
308
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:38,758
And good night.
309
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,885
Great. Okay.
310
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,228
(phone chimes)
311
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,449
(exhales)
312
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,993
(scoffs)
313
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,928
(toilet flushing)
314
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,099
(loud gurgling)
315
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:34,814
FELICIA: So,
you told him you don't drink
316
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,065
- because you're on antibiotics.
- Yes.
317
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,817
But I didn't mean to do that.
318
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,236
It just sort of fell
out of my mouth.
319
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,821
You know, that's actually
pretty clever.
320
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,656
What?
No, it's not, it's embarrassing.
321
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,033
Now, I would have to, like,
322
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,492
make it a whole thing
and tell him the truth.
323
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,995
I mean, is it even worth
that awkward of a conversation?
324
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,496
I mean, yeah,
if you care about him,
325
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,664
you should tell him what's up.
326
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,082
Are you sure?
327
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,542
What would I even say?
328
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,378
"Hey, Alex, thanks so much
for that wonderful date.
329
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:59,964
"I'm an alcoholic,
but I lied to you about that,
330
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,133
"because I'm an alcoholic.
And then I lied to you
331
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,634
about my friend being dumped,
'cause I'm an alcoholic."
332
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,803
I think lying
is for all the people.
333
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,806
It's sort of our thing, though.
334
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,433
There's even a term for it
in the program.
335
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:13,519
- It's called "old behavior."
- Oh, my God, Sam, stop, okay?
336
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,063
You don't own lying on a date.
337
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,522
I've been lied to
by plenty of dudes.
338
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,608
You alcoholics just think
you're all special.
339
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,985
- We are special.
- Okay, look.
340
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,862
Everybody makes mistakes.
341
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,864
You just gotta own up to 'em
so you can sleep
342
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,532
like you just took a Benadryl.
343
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,867
Yeah.
344
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:30,995
I still don't want to tell him.
345
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,538
Oh, my God,
of course you don't.
346
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,207
Who wants to do anything?
347
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,376
There she is.
348
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,878
Do you actually
need something this time?
349
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:39,962
'Cause I'm sort of busy
working on that column.
350
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,672
Man, I gotta tell you,
it is a shame
351
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,883
I can't compliment
that cute coat.
352
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,009
- Love it.
- (phone buzzing)
353
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,677
Okay, what do you need,
Nathaniel?
354
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:48,221
Just want to shoot the breeze.
355
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,518
- Okay.
- All right.
356
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,852
Little jam sesh.
357
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:57,271
Nathaniel, listen.
358
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,440
I am not the person for you
to shoot the breeze with, okay?
359
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,527
I'm your employee,
and I'm trying to do good work.
360
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:05,446
If you need to talk to somebody,
that's totally understandable.
361
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,031
But just call your wife.
362
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,407
You were always going on about
363
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,909
how much you loved Karen
at Bzzzzzzzzzz,
364
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,244
and how great
your communication was.
365
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,453
So, communicate with her.
366
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:14,413
Just don't do it with me, please.
367
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,040
A-And please stop
calling me in here
368
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,834
unless it's about
an assignment, okay?
369
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,545
Uh, Kar-- Karen left me.
370
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,132
- What?
- Uh, yeah, she's, uh...
371
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:27,552
she's-she's currently being
reamed by a New York Yankee.
372
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:32,056
- Oh.
- Yeah.
373
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:34,892
That's awful, and I'm--
I'm really sorry.
374
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,227
But I'm still not the person
375
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,937
you should be talking to
about this, okay?
376
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,857
Uh, I would say
you are the exact person
377
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:42,608
that I should be talking to
about this.
378
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:47,029
I don't know anyone else
whose life got screwed up so bad
379
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:50,032
and then came out of it okay
and is thriving.
380
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,243
- You're the perfect person
to talk to. - Okay.
381
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,911
Fine.
382
00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:55,454
(sighs)
383
00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,667
(sighs)
384
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,086
Is he an important Yankee?
385
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:04,463
Uh, it's Nestor Cortes.
386
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,466
- Whew.
- Yeah.
387
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:11,304
And you know,
I just thought taking this job,
388
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,972
coming to Boston, I could have
389
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,057
just, like, a fresh start.
390
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,601
But, God, I hate it here.
391
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,686
I just hate Boston.
392
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:21,022
I hate "chowdah."
393
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:24,150
It's warm fish juice.
It's a con, it's bullshit.
394
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,861
But you know what,
none of that matters,
395
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,655
because my wife left me
for a Yankee.
396
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,032
Sorry.
397
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,326
(sighs)
398
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,329
(footsteps approaching)
399
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,207
Hi.
400
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,753
Are you feeling better about
that whole diary meshugas?
401
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,671
- Sure.
- Yeah.
402
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,632
Mm, see?
403
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:50,092
Get some food in your belly,
a little time,
404
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,803
gives you perspective,
and you can go on with your life
405
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:56,974
and just let go of all
that stuff that you read, oof.
406
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,394
(whispering):
I'm not gonna do that, Bob.
407
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,320
♪ ♪
408
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,033
(exhales)
409
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:17,828
Oh.
410
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,288
- Hey.
- Hey.
411
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,374
Um, I didn't know
you were gonna come by.
412
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,959
I would have wore hard pants.
413
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,336
- Oh.
- You know. Please, come in.
414
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:27,004
Thanks.
415
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,384
Wow.
416
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:34,971
Really don't have, uh,
much stuff, huh?
417
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,180
Yeah, it's kinda weird, right?
418
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,975
Do you, like, murder people?
419
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,518
No, my parents moved around
a lot,
420
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,478
so I learned not to get
attached to things.
421
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:43,604
- Huh.
- Yeah.
422
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,190
Where do you keep your change,
or your keys?
423
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,900
I can't tell you that
until we get closer.
424
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,026
- Right.
- Yeah.
425
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,903
- Right.
- Come on, come sit down.
426
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,822
Oh, yeah.
427
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,742
- You all right?
- I'm gonna stand.
428
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,744
Okay. Should I stand?
429
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,246
- No, you can sit.
- Okay.
430
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:03,124
Um, so I just, uh, came here
to tell you something,
431
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:04,834
and I'm just gonna tell you.
432
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,836
I lied to you.
433
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:09,046
I am not on antibiotics,
434
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,965
I'm actually
a recovering alcoholic.
435
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,717
That's why I don't drink.
436
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,260
I don't know why
I didn't just tell you that.
437
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,928
I should have.
It's not something
438
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,847
that I'm, like, ashamed of
or anything.
439
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:18,931
I mean, I used to be,
440
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,891
but I don't think
that I am anymore.
441
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,435
Also, my friend
didn't get dumped.
442
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,061
I don't know why
I said that either.
443
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:28,065
But... I'm sorry that I lied,
444
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:31,527
and I'm sorry I'm so much.
445
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,321
I really wish that I wasn't.
446
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:36,324
I really like you,
447
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,409
and I've really liked
getting to know you.
448
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:41,954
And so, I hope that
you have a very nice life.
449
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,539
And, uh, goodbye.
450
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,166
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
451
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:47,251
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
452
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,503
I-- I don't give a shit
about any of that.
453
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:53,466
Well, I care that
you got healthy
454
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,551
and you stopped drinking, but...
455
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,388
I like you, and I don't think
you're too much.
456
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:02,099
And we can still
smoke weed, right?
457
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:05,436
No, I-- I don't do that either, actually.
458
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:08,731
That's a bit of a bummer,
but we'll get past that, right?
459
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,609
Can you sit down?
460
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:15,154
Okay.
461
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,492
You all right?
462
00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:25,164
So, you just want to, like,
keep seeing each other?
463
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,541
Yeah.
464
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:30,795
(chuckles)
465
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:32,922
You're the weirdest person
I've ever met.
466
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,965
Thank you.
467
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,801
Good job
taking a compliment.
468
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,219
You taught me well.
469
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,267
Yes!
470
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,519
(both laughing)
471
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,188
- That was dope!
- (laughing)
472
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,365
(sighs)
473
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,622
I can't do it. I can't.
474
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:07,873
I can't do it.
475
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,167
- You can.
- Oh, damn it.
476
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,044
This is how
you're gonna move on.
477
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,171
I want to wipe my ass with this.
478
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:15,506
I know.
479
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,634
I want to just grab it,
480
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,512
I want to go back to front,
and then piss on it.
481
00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,305
I know.
482
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:24,807
You have to put it on.
483
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,061
(sighing): Oh, man.
484
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,147
(groans)
485
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,648
Oh, my God.
486
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,900
Oh, God.
487
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,278
That just feels wrong.
488
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,280
(Nathaniel sighs)
489
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,990
You look... foxy.
490
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,618
I know you're lying.
491
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:45,995
I am.
492
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,164
- But thank you.
- You're welcome.
493
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,416
Captioned by
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494
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:55,016
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