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1
00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:03,535
(drumming)
Ta-da!
2
00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:05,037
- Jaq: Oh.
- Bryce: Tasty treats!
3
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:07,206
Are these your famous
three-ingredient scones?
4
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,207
Yes, they are.
5
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,341
Ooh, you can call me
6
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,676
George Thorogood
& the Destroyers
7
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,044
'cause I'm bad to the scone.
8
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:13,912
(Laughing)
Get in there.
9
00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:15,614
Yeah, I learned how
to make these in prison.
10
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,950
Um, where'd you get butter?
11
00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:22,087
You find it.
12
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:24,623
(gulping)
13
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:25,758
Wendy: (Grunting)
Little help here?
14
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:26,825
Oh, Wendy.
15
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:28,160
Oh, Wendy! Let me give you a--
16
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,495
- Ooh, yeah.
- Oh.
17
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,597
- Thank you, Howard.
- I was also gonna--
18
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,265
(Sighing)
Sorry I'm late.
19
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,200
Got myself into
a bit of a situation.
20
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:36,435
Mm-hm?
21
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,670
You know, my friend,
Dottie, in circulation,
22
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:41,640
she's trying to save
some books from extinction--
23
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,075
I'm sorry, "extinction?"
Is that the word?
24
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,110
No. It's, uh-- Uncircu-fying?
25
00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:46,478
Deading. Deading a book.
26
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,213
Either way, I offered to help.
27
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:51,583
So, she sent me 10 of each book,
and anything we can do to help,
28
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,185
she would really
greatly appreciate.
29
00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:55,421
So, what have we got here?
30
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,890
How to Beat Any
Nintendo 64 Game.
31
00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,325
That's handy.
32
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:03,429
Uh, and, Mansplaining--
33
00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:04,663
Well, that's, um...
34
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:08,100
That's there.
And An Uncivil War,
35
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:11,537
The Five Moments the South
Could Have Turned the Tide.
36
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,939
Hopefully that's not
the Civil War we think it is.
37
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:16,308
No. It, uh, it definitely is.
38
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,644
I don't know, guys, maybe these
books should be Darwin-ized.
39
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:21,680
Look, we shouldn't be
forced to circulate any book.
40
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,549
As Granny Delora once said,
41
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,350
"When something's
old and nearly dead,
42
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:27,753
bury it before
the stench kills us all."
43
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:31,657
Why does Dottie want us
to save these books?
44
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,260
She didn't say and I didn't ask.
Look, I need a solid.
45
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:38,464
Dottie only has eight fingers
and it's my fault.
46
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,065
You know what?
I'll help. I'm sorry, what?
47
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,568
Oh, Howard! Thank you.
Thank you so much. My hero!
48
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:43,936
Yeah, I mean, it's my pleasure.
49
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,370
You know, at Midtown
we always created demand
50
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:47,206
by doing a book push.
51
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:48,340
Oh, I love this!
52
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,676
Use anyone
and anything you need.
53
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:53,278
Seriously? Well, I'd kill
for a subcommittee.
54
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,481
- Done. Jaq, Bryce.
- A subcommittee?
55
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:56,515
Help Howard out.
56
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,883
For Dottie!
57
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,318
All (half-heartedly):
For Dottie.
58
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,253
And for her
three-legged dog, Ringo.
59
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:04,890
All (half-heartedly): And for
her three-legged dog, Ringo.
60
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:09,628
♪
61
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:13,599
Subcommittee! Our post-meeting
meeting begins, wait for it...
62
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,536
Now! Roll call. Jaq?
63
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:19,238
There are three of us.
We're here.
64
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,639
Present. Bryce?
65
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,075
Delightfully present.
66
00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:26,278
Alright, very good.
We have a quorum.
67
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,915
So, at Midtown we used
a friendly competition to
68
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:32,451
help push books that
we wanted off our shelves.
69
00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:33,886
One flaw.
Competition is a fundamental
70
00:02:33,888 --> 00:02:36,688
element of capitalism
and I'm a socialist.
71
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,123
- (groaning)
- Remember, this isn't for me.
72
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,559
- This is for Wendy.
- Jaq: Is it though?
73
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,361
I sort of feel like Dottie's
the only one winning here.
74
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:44,096
Lucky Dottie
and her eight fingers.
75
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:45,497
Wendy: I'm just trying to help.
76
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,066
Unhoused Wendy:
I don't care! I don't care!
77
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:50,369
Wendy:
You're being so unreasonable!
78
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:53,372
I'm leaving!
I don't feel safe here!
79
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:54,940
What?!
80
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,075
You're the one with a purse
full of sharpened toothbrushes!
81
00:02:57,077 --> 00:03:00,546
And I will not
hesitate to use one.
82
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:01,647
(all gasping)
83
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:06,118
Okay, I went too far.
84
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,387
(all gasping)
85
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:09,454
Wendy!
86
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,361
Have those two ever
argued like that before?
87
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,262
Never.
88
00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:18,764
I'm going to check on her.
89
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,232
Oh, no, no. Just give her
a minute to cool down.
90
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,400
You know what would
make her feel better?
91
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:22,668
Hm?
92
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,269
Is if the two of you
push books with me.
93
00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,205
Okay. Fine, but I'm not
saying "book push." Ew.
94
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,306
Ah, you just did.
95
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:31,543
(loud thudding)
96
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:37,216
(beeping)
97
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,450
It couldn't be simpler.
98
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,820
See, there's three books
and three of us.
99
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:44,189
Why don't we each take a book
and try to move it?
100
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:47,292
And whoever gets rid of their
book first, wins something.
101
00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:48,594
Like what?
102
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,295
Well, I'm meeting
Dane for lunch today.
103
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:53,365
Maybe I could get him to give us
a couple of museum tickets.
104
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,100
Oh, I thought it was going
to be something we wanted to do.
105
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:56,702
you know what? I'm not
having this argument again.
106
00:03:56,704 --> 00:04:00,672
The Acropolis On-top-olis
exhibit was pure fire.
107
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,074
Oh, it was fire, Howard?
It was pure fire?
108
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,475
Okay, look,
I know where this is going--
109
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:04,543
No. No, no, no, no.
As a fellow youth,
110
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:05,944
I totes agree, fam.
111
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,347
Museums aren't cringe,
they're lit, bitch.
112
00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:10,249
(groaning)
113
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:11,283
Are you quite finished?
114
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,718
Yes, bitch. Slay.
115
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,019
Slay.
116
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,722
How about extra paid days off?
117
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,261
Wendy: She's stubborn and mean.
118
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:24,563
Like a goat that
missed breakfast.
119
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:25,664
Why was she so upset?
120
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:27,032
Exactly! What's her problem?
121
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:30,102
- No, no, no. I'm asking you--
- (bell dinging)
122
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,837
Wendy, I need to use
the employee washroom.
123
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,306
Someone's in the big, nice one
with all the handle bars.
124
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:35,507
The accessible one?
125
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,009
Just use the one
you're supposed to.
126
00:04:37,011 --> 00:04:38,910
I need privacy when
I am doing private things.
127
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:40,579
And the stalls
aren't private enough?
128
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,314
The gap by my feet
is unnerving.
129
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,149
Go over to Coffee & Such, then.
130
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:45,717
The place with the one-ply?
131
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:46,852
You know, why don't you just
hand me sandpaper, Sheila?
132
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,186
No, before it's too late,
133
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:49,921
I'll have an accident
in the stacks.
134
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,390
Yes, I'll do it.
135
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:54,893
It's not an accident
if it's a threat.
136
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,062
Okay, go!
137
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:59,531
Thank you!
138
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,099
He is far too comfortable.
139
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:04,269
The individual with
the most books signed out
140
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:07,906
by 5:00pm today wins
all three personal days.
141
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,274
Pick a book, Jaq.
142
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:10,709
Ladies first after all.
143
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,678
Nope. Screw you. Bryce, you go.
144
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,680
Finally,
a white man gets some love.
145
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:15,781
Okay, you know what?
You ruined it.
146
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:18,183
Alright. Uncivil War. What?!
147
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:19,785
Okay, and I got Mansplaining--
148
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,553
Nintendo 64.
149
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:23,155
- I'll trade you?
- Please!
150
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,424
I wanted Mansplaining, anyway.
It's an important book.
151
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:26,658
And I'll tell you why,
young lady--
152
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,160
Absolutely not.
No. Listen to me.
153
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:30,195
No tradesies and no redraws,
this is what it is.
154
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:34,533
Incipiant ludi.
155
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:35,801
Let the games begin.
156
00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,836
(rattling)
157
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,771
(knocking)
Excuse me.
158
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:42,240
Hi.
It's Wendy, the branch manager.
159
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:43,475
Is everything okay?
160
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,147
Wendy? If that you in there?
161
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,916
(rustling)
162
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:53,919
This silent treatment
is real mature.
163
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:56,288
(thudding)
164
00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:58,256
And it is not fair
that you're acting this way
165
00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,525
when you're the one who
should be apologizing!
166
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:05,664
Is the name of a great
podcast I just started.
167
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,467
Hey, Jaq.
How you doing with your book?
168
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:11,002
Well, I haven't seen
any complete dill-holes yet,
169
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,037
so I still have 10.
170
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,405
Yeah. Me neither.
171
00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:15,107
I probably won't have
to try too hard, though.
172
00:06:15,109 --> 00:06:16,875
Okay, let's get you sorted.
173
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,443
(chuckling)
174
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:22,681
You know what? You are going
to love this book, you know?
175
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:25,016
So important to read our
history so we don't repeat it.
176
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:29,688
Or write about it again.
Alright, take care. All set.
177
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:35,394
I'm sorry, guys.
That's two down, eight to go.
178
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,129
- Easy peasy.
- Two down?! What the fu--
179
00:06:37,131 --> 00:06:39,097
Ew, gross. I'm not losing
to a guy who says "peasy."
180
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,499
- Seriously.
- Yeah.
181
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,167
Hi, you look like you
like explaining things.
182
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,769
- This is an excellent book.
- Hey, check this book.
183
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,137
- You are gonna love this.
- It's called Mansplaining.
184
00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:46,338
You look like a nerd.
Are you a nerd?
185
00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:52,711
(creaking)
186
00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:57,582
(creaking)
187
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,683
(gasping)
188
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,922
The only way to
topple the patriarchy
189
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,690
is by understanding it,
190
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,426
and the only way
we can understand it is
191
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,728
by reading this book. Bam!
192
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,329
Are you reverse-mansplaining me?
193
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,531
I see what you did there,
194
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,232
but reverse oppression's
not a thing.
195
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:17,602
Is this about how to stop
mansplaining or how to start?
196
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,738
Which is better?
197
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,506
Yeah, I'm gonna stick
with The Y Chromosome.
198
00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:23,275
Oh, I just read that,
it's amazing.
199
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:24,876
It's actually my staff
pick of the month.
200
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,678
And Mansplaining is next month?
201
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,981
No. Oh, no. It's not my pick.
202
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,818
Like, it's kinda--
I'm just trying to, um--
203
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,486
If you read it,
it's a page turner.
204
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,290
Um, hi.
205
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:39,691
Welcome to Jameson.
206
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,726
We are showcasing
some titles around here.
207
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:44,729
Maybe this one catches your eye.
It's called Mansplaining.
208
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:45,864
- I guess--
- Ah!
209
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,466
I've been looking for this!
210
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,900
Okay.
211
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:51,303
You have no idea how
important this book is.
212
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,573
(chuckling)
Okay, well, have a good day.
213
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,408
Going on break
so I can throw up.
214
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,977
I saw that. Very impressive.
215
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,313
I love how you're
connecting with our community.
216
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:04,349
It's all Howard's fault.
He's the worst.
217
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,685
Or the best.
218
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:09,087
Right this way
to periodicals, good sir!
219
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:12,824
Oh, say.
Are you into civil wars?
220
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,293
No, what I said.
221
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:18,129
Good news!
222
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:19,798
I got another book for you.
223
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,166
I really want these five books.
224
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,301
- Oh, take another one.
- You know I can't.
225
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,036
My parents have
a very strict rule about
226
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,638
how many books I can
take out at a time.
227
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:27,939
What's that over there?
228
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,007
(beeping)
229
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,942
Hey, you just scanned that book.
230
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:31,877
No I didn't.
231
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,512
Yes, you did. Take it off.
232
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:36,114
If my parents check my account,
they're going to ground me.
233
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,415
They won't check.
234
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:39,251
They check every time!
Take it off!
235
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:40,919
I'll tell you what.
How about we don't scan
236
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,821
one of the other books so it
looks like you've only got
237
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,155
five in the system here?
238
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,691
And then what?
I get hooked on taking out six,
239
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,326
then seven, then nine?
240
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,561
Until Dad checks my book-bag
241
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,863
and I get busted
with 10 hardcovers?
242
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:52,964
You know, it sounds like your--
243
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,733
(slamming)
244
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:57,903
Keep your gateway book.
245
00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,371
Okay.
246
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:01,840
Thank you.
247
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:04,242
Unscanned. There you go.
248
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:07,178
Oops.
249
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,847
(groaning)
250
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,784
Howard, question for you.
251
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,452
Yeah, anything.
What do you need?
252
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:17,222
I just saw Jaq initiate
a conversation with a patron.
253
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,456
What's going on?
254
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,925
We're having a little contest,
255
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,627
and the winner gets paid
days off from the others.
256
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:23,628
Can you do that?
257
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,096
Yeah, Wendy's cool with it.
258
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,432
You know, she put me in
charge of the subcommittee.
259
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,668
Looks like someone's
finally fitting in.
260
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:30,969
Hey, do you have lunch plans?
261
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:33,204
Do you want to
get something to eat?
262
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:35,607
Yes! I mean, why not?
I mean, I like lunch.
263
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,576
Well, great. Coffee & Such?
We can walk over together.
264
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,411
Perfect.
265
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:40,679
You're definitely not peeing.
266
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:41,846
What gives?
267
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,651
Wendy, we have to
talk eventually,
268
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:48,687
and I'd rather
do it face to face.
269
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:54,059
You know I was just
looking out for you, right?
270
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,194
I actually care
about your wellbeing.
271
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:58,630
Wendy?
272
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,566
Alright, I'm getting the fob.
273
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,101
Oh, did you hear?
274
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,437
Two books left.
275
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:08,206
Seriously?! I still have six!
276
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,341
Seven.
277
00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:11,409
No, that's it.
278
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,477
What are you doing?
279
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:13,678
Nothing.
280
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,213
She's pushing
her book on our social!
281
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,414
That's the library's account,
Jaq!
282
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:17,949
You gotta push all the books.
283
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,417
Well, then I guess you should
log in and make a post.
284
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,785
By the time
I figure out how to do that,
285
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,387
all your books'll be gone!
286
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:23,922
Then I guess you should've
listened when I young-splained
287
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,223
social media to you.
288
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,592
Fine. Time to bring out
the heavy artillery.
289
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:33,531
Here today, scone tomorrow.
290
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,833
- Hm.
- Hah!
291
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,472
Okay, finally. Guess what?
292
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:44,009
I am about to go to lunch
in a minute with Sheila.
293
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,211
I know! She asked me.
Can you believe it?
294
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,379
That's huge. Are you nervous?
295
00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:48,446
A little. What do you think?
296
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,081
Tuck or untuck?
297
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,017
You're a badass mother-tucker,
Howie.
298
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,251
Okay, I know you meant
that sarcastically,
299
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:54,886
but I'm taking it
as a compliment.
300
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,721
That means that
you'll be gone for a while.
301
00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,089
Perfect.
302
00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,691
Jaqueline, do not make me laugh.
303
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:01,760
I will be back soon enough
to wrap up this competition
304
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:02,961
in a neat little bow.
305
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,596
Yeah, probably.
306
00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:05,930
I don't think my post about
mansplaining will get much
307
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:08,566
traction on a the Internet.
308
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,502
Oh, Howard. Howard's thinking,
309
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,805
"Sheila, day off,
Sheila, day off."
310
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,473
Oh, a potential soul mate or--
311
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:19,744
or a day to get paid to
delve into new exhibits.
312
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:22,514
Ugh!
E pluribus unum, what to do!"
313
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,215
Now you're thinking,
"She's misusing Latin !
314
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,751
Do I correct her
or go on my date?
315
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:29,154
Is this even a date?"
(grunting mockingly)
316
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,123
(both grunting)
317
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,227
Bryce: Okay.
(chuckling)
318
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,829
Alright.
319
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:40,965
Jaq: Right over here, gentlemen.
320
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,601
Okay. One for you,
and one for you,
321
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:47,405
and one for you,
and one for your friend?
322
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,841
Eh? You got a friend
who wants this? Yeah?
323
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:50,875
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Come on.
324
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,177
You guys don't want that book.
325
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:53,578
It's marked.
There's a lady lib group
326
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,380
that tracks any man
that checks it out,
327
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,749
and if they catch you--
(clicking, popping)
328
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,050
Okay, don't listen to him,
329
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,452
and I wouldn't eat
that if I were you.
330
00:12:00,454 --> 00:12:01,586
He learned how to
make those in prison.
331
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:02,821
They're
three-ingredient scones.
332
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:07,258
One of the ingredients
is butter.
333
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:11,362
They are-- They are delicious!
This is discrimination, Jaq!
334
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,664
Get your books here!
335
00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:15,967
How to Beat Any
Nintendo 64 Game!
336
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,168
Like, all of them!
337
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,737
- Man: Hey, dawg! Dawg!
- Yeah? Yeah?
338
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,739
Cut it with all that noise, fam!
This a library, dawg.
339
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:21,906
Sorry, sorry.
340
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,108
Man:
And why them scones so dry?!
341
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,310
They too dry even
for scones, fam!
342
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:28,680
Okay, I-I am sorry,
but, um, now it seems like
343
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:30,215
you're being the loud one.
344
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,449
Man: Touche.
345
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:32,784
Howard: Thanks for lunch.
346
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:33,918
It's nothing.
347
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,220
Thanks for saying yes.
348
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,822
Hey, you two want
some carrot muffins?
349
00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,090
Mom.
350
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,525
It's okay.
My mom's a food pusher too.
351
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,060
We're fine, thank you.
352
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,828
Oh, she don't care
about feeding us.
353
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,263
Why you pushing muffins,
Old Lady?
354
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,631
(sucking teeth)
355
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:48,433
Your fool of a father
bought an extra dozen.
356
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,201
They gon' expire. Take them, no?
357
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,803
Mom, we're good. Leave us now.
358
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,371
I'll bring six.
359
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,240
You can take them
back to the library.
360
00:12:57,511 --> 00:12:59,344
Hey, how come I never see
your mom and dad here together?
361
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,212
I mean, I know they're divorced,
but it can't be that bad.
362
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:04,482
Oh, it's bad.
Like, stabbed-in-the-leg bad.
363
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,619
So, did she stab him
or did he stab her?
364
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,621
Mm. Yes.
365
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,556
Oh, God.
366
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,124
Well, then I'm glad
that I dodged
367
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,893
the whole marriage bullet.
368
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:18,163
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to be insensitive.
369
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,098
I know that things are kind of
rough with you and your ex.
370
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:24,002
It's okay. The divorce
is almost official now.
371
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:24,969
Really?
372
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,204
Dane: Really?
373
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:29,240
Dane!
I mean, Dane, this is Sheila.
374
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,608
Sheila, this is Dane.
375
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:33,011
Would you excuse me
for one second?
376
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:34,245
Yeah.
377
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,313
Dude, I am so sorry.
I totally forgot,
378
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,749
but Sheila asked me to lunch.
379
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:40,652
I took two streetcars here,
dude. Two.
380
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:41,853
You poor thing. I'm so sorry.
381
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:43,254
I promise
I'll make it up to you.
382
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,089
But it's good to
see you as usual!
383
00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:48,259
You know what?
Try a muffin, carrot.
384
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,128
Does he want to join us?
385
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:53,097
Uh, no. He's got one
too many streetcars to ride.
386
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,732
No, no, no, no, no. You can't
send these out yourself.
387
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,601
That doesn't count, right?
388
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:57,836
Oh, I know.
389
00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:01,973
These are perfect
for your LAN party.
390
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:03,174
LAN party?
391
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,275
You're not
the only one who knows
392
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,477
how to use the Internet, Jaq.
393
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,613
Ever hear of Reddit?
394
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,148
Have you?
395
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,282
Have a great day.
396
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,250
No, don't...
397
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,485
One book left.
398
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,321
- No. No, no.
- (imitating explosion)
399
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,925
The key fob is in
here somewhere, I know it.
400
00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:22,327
(groaning)
401
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,729
(knocking)
Wendy, open up!
402
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,664
It's too far now.
403
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,367
Do you want me to get the tools?
404
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,301
(groaning)
405
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,872
No, Ervin. It's okay. Thank you.
406
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:41,145
I'm sorry. Okay?
I'm-- I'm sorry.
407
00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:45,884
I didn't know that
finding you a place to live
408
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:47,752
would be such
a terrible thing.
409
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,523
It took forever to
get you into that program.
410
00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:57,262
Oh...
411
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:58,997
I over-stepped, didn't I?
412
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,934
You know me.
I'm passionate. I--
413
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,772
I don't know why this
isn't a good thing for you,
414
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,408
but I'm listening now.
415
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,442
(thumping)
416
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:12,477
So, what's up?
417
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,245
(thumping)
418
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,280
(loud crashing)
419
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:16,347
Wendy?
420
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,417
Wendy!
421
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,885
(knocking)
Wendy!
422
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:23,788
Stay alive!
423
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:29,227
Hey, you look like a loser.
In a good way.
424
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,896
Wendy:
Help! Help, it's Wendy!
425
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:32,964
We gotta get that washroom open!
426
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,198
What happened?!
427
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,266
I don't know.
I think she collapsed.
428
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,068
The door is stuck.
429
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:41,205
Oh, no.
I am not a ginger beer guy.
430
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:42,774
You trust me?
431
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,810
That's a trick question.
So, yes.
432
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:46,911
Have at it.
433
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,448
- Mm!
- (laughing)
434
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,084
Wow.
That tastes like a temperature.
435
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:55,320
It's good to know
that you trust me.
436
00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:57,322
I'm not sure I do anymore.
437
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,590
I miss joking with people.
438
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:01,159
It's been a while.
439
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:07,198
Well, what happened with Adonis?
440
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:12,270
I'm just not the person
I was when I was 23. You know?
441
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,304
Yeah.
442
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,106
Huh.
443
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,107
What?
444
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,810
My ex, I think that, well,
445
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,378
maybe she might be
in the same boat.
446
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,815
You know.
The S.S. I've Outgrown You.
447
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,116
(laughing)
448
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,951
I'm sure it wasn't
the same thing.
449
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:29,087
Look, I'm not upset anymore.
450
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,655
She was right.
451
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,223
Just took me a while to see it.
452
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:34,692
How long did it take you?
453
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,396
Just now.
454
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,369
Well, personally, I think you're
a really good guy, you know?
455
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:46,738
You're smart, you're attentive,
456
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,841
you're easy to talk to.
457
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:53,411
So easy that I forgot the reason
that I asked you to lunch.
458
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:56,881
I am taking my finals soon
and I need help studying.
459
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,150
It's weird, I know, but you just
are so detail-oriented,
460
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,551
you know all that Latin--
461
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:01,652
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes!
462
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,021
Tu in me.
463
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,789
You in me?
464
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,724
No, no! "Tu in me."
465
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,860
It's Latin for "you can
depend on me." I'll help.
466
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:12,930
Oh. Oh, okay. Thank you.
467
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:16,067
It would mean
seeing me outside of work.
468
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,770
Well, look, I think I'll manage.
469
00:17:18,772 --> 00:17:21,672
- (spitting)
- (laughing)
470
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:22,940
You got a soft throat.
471
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:25,877
(beeping)
472
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,078
(snapping fingers)
473
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,549
What's going on here?
474
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,583
Wendy's in there,
we think she's hurt.
475
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:35,253
Okay, almost got it, and-- Yeah!
476
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,288
(gasping)
477
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,656
Wendy?
478
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,058
(all gasping)
479
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,759
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
480
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:42,960
Jaq, say something to it.
481
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:44,629
I'm Native,
not a (bleep) superhero!
482
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,597
Howard:
It's staring right at me.
483
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:47,899
Easy, Howie.
484
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,001
(growling)
485
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:51,836
- Oh--
- Oh, my God.
486
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,271
Everybody, just don't worry.
Don't sweat.
487
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:55,106
-Bryce: It can smell confusion!
-(overlapping screams)
488
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:57,208
Bryce: Cover your bits!
Cover your bits!
489
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,242
Open the door, Howard!
490
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,210
Howard: No!
491
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:00,812
Bryce:
You're right next to it!
492
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,183
Where's Wendy?
493
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,218
I don't know.
494
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,553
Wendy was a racoon.
495
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:20,298
Oh, how was lunch?
496
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,567
Good, not great.
497
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:25,369
Hey, team.
Looks like that raccoon was
498
00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:27,472
living in our ceiling
for a while.
499
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:29,140
Mm.
500
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:30,575
Would explain the smell.
501
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,176
But, hey! Thank you so much
for the book push!
502
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:34,846
Watching you all engage
with our community was exactly
503
00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:38,316
what I needed today,
plus or minus a toilet raccoon.
504
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,750
Well, it was our pleasure.
505
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,052
Oh, and Dottie called.
506
00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:43,721
She's tracking the books
and she is so happy.
507
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,823
Dottie is happy that
books about the South winning
508
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:48,326
the Civil War are moving?
509
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,827
Mm-hm.
510
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:54,198
Wendy, I don't think this
Dottie is a good friend for you.
511
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,000
Oh, she's adorbs.
You would love her.
512
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:58,503
She is a part-time archer!
513
00:18:58,505 --> 00:18:59,904
- Sorry, part-time?
- Why would we love that?
514
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:01,639
I'm starting to
think Dottie's not real.
515
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,241
- Oh, yeah. No, totally!
- That she exists.
516
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:04,375
It makes sense
that she doesn't exist,
517
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,843
because I don't understand--
518
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,079
(meowing)
519
00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:09,480
Have you done this before or?
520
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:10,815
Uh, something like this.
521
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,717
There it is.
I was looking for that.
522
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:15,920
- Thank you, Saint Anthony.
- Wendy!
523
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,855
Geez!
524
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:20,424
I'm so sorry. I-- I overstepped.
525
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,093
I promise I will consult you
526
00:19:22,095 --> 00:19:24,595
if I ever do anything
like that again.
527
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:27,698
Good, because you don't
know what's best for me,
528
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,100
and that place you got me
529
00:19:29,102 --> 00:19:32,770
is wrong for a hundred reasons.
530
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:33,871
A hundred reasons?
531
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,406
It's outside of the city.
532
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:38,242
All my health resources
are here in Parkdale.
533
00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:41,712
All my food resources.
All my friends are here.
534
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,881
Aww, we're your friends.
535
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,583
Don't make me regret this.
536
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,719
Listen,
I've done programs like that
537
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,788
and they always end badly.
538
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,391
Okay.
539
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,259
But where have you been all day?
540
00:19:55,261 --> 00:19:57,995
As you know, once a year
541
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:02,767
me and my squad
go through Drake's garbage.
542
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,602
(gasping)
Drake Day!
543
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:06,003
Has it been a year already?
544
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:09,473
Oh, and this year
his trash was lit.
545
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:10,708
(both laughing)
546
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,678
Check this out.
547
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,382
- I found this.
- Oh.
548
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,084
It's an Aubrey.
549
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,085
- Wow.
- Yes.
550
00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:22,086
What's it for?
551
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:23,421
I have no idea.
552
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:24,989
(both laughing)
553
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:27,358
Maybe he got it for wearing
those skinny little beards.
554
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,659
Oh, the skinny beards to
match the skinny jeans.
555
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,727
Yes.
556
00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:31,529
Oh, the skinny beards to
match the skinny jeans.
557
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:33,831
It's almost home time.
558
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,333
Looks like it's gonna
end in a tie, guys.
559
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:36,634
Mm-hm. Oh, Howard,
we forgot to tell you that
560
00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:38,169
your friend came by earlier.
561
00:20:38,171 --> 00:20:40,938
He knows. He knows.
562
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,006
Dane, you came back.
563
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,608
Do you wanna grab some dinner?
564
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:47,712
Mm, got plans. I'm gonna curl up
with this book tonight.
565
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:49,280
(gasping)
566
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:50,648
- No, no. No, no, no, no, no.
- Um, no. We've got other books.
567
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,849
Exactly. I promise you,
568
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:52,950
you don't know
what you're doing.
569
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,185
Oh, I do.
570
00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:56,087
Bryce:
Bag it and tag it, Howie. Woo!
571
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,723
Dane, I mean.
There's two other books here.
572
00:20:58,725 --> 00:20:59,991
You haven't left
the library yet.
573
00:20:59,993 --> 00:21:01,425
Technically,
you haven't gotten it.
574
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:02,560
You can change your mind,
it's not too late!
575
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,328
(humming rhythmically)
576
00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:05,396
Jaq: Oh, my.
577
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:08,065
(humming rhythmically)
578
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,334
Ooh!
(grunting)
579
00:21:10,336 --> 00:21:11,402
Jaq: No.
580
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,247
Man: You happy now?
581
00:21:23,297 --> 00:21:27,847
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