Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,739 --> 00:00:04,342
♪ ♪
2
00:00:04,408 --> 00:00:06,479
I broke up with Max last night.
3
00:00:06,580 --> 00:00:07,916
Y'all saw what happened.
4
00:00:07,983 --> 00:00:10,320
If you didn't, go to Hulu
right now, watch.
5
00:00:10,387 --> 00:00:12,358
I'll be waiting right here.
6
00:00:12,391 --> 00:00:14,530
Welcome back, I hope you
enjoyed the episode.
7
00:00:14,596 --> 00:00:17,936
So Max stormed out and he didn't
come back until after 2:00.
8
00:00:18,036 --> 00:00:19,238
At least I think it was him.
9
00:00:19,305 --> 00:00:20,575
It's also possible I'm being
robbed by someone
10
00:00:20,708 --> 00:00:23,280
who made a Hot Pocket
and slept on the sofa.
11
00:00:23,380 --> 00:00:24,816
Look, ending it was really hard,
12
00:00:24,883 --> 00:00:27,789
but turns out the guy I've been
pining after for 20 years
13
00:00:27,889 --> 00:00:29,826
is a real dick under pressure.
14
00:00:29,927 --> 00:00:30,762
No, thanks.
15
00:00:30,895 --> 00:00:32,999
I'd rather be his friend
than his girlfriend.
16
00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:34,302
And that's what I'm gonna do.
17
00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:36,674
I'm gonna go out there
and be his friend.
18
00:00:36,774 --> 00:00:38,009
It's not gonna be
awkward at all.
19
00:00:38,109 --> 00:00:41,449
I'm just gonna go
and be his friend, out there.
20
00:00:41,517 --> 00:00:43,888
Soon as I get out of bed,
that's what I'm gonna do.
21
00:00:43,988 --> 00:00:46,760
I'm just gonna move my legs,
and go out there.
22
00:00:46,827 --> 00:00:48,396
Be his friend.
23
00:00:48,463 --> 00:00:50,133
Here I go.
24
00:00:57,414 --> 00:00:59,285
Morning.
25
00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:00,354
Hey.
26
00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:03,093
Oh, that didn't feel like
a friend zone "hey."
27
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,264
This might take a little longer
than I thought.
28
00:01:05,330 --> 00:01:06,800
Just got to stay strong.
29
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:10,240
And stop looking
at his sexy arms.
30
00:01:13,146 --> 00:01:14,950
His sexy legs.
31
00:01:15,551 --> 00:01:18,123
God, it's like there's
nowhere to look.
32
00:01:18,189 --> 00:01:20,427
So, making pancakes?
33
00:01:20,561 --> 00:01:21,730
Yep.
34
00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:23,033
Nice.
35
00:01:23,099 --> 00:01:24,503
You want some?
36
00:01:24,603 --> 00:01:26,607
I was gonna put bacon in them,
so I made the bacon,
37
00:01:26,707 --> 00:01:28,811
had a bite of the bacon,
and then I realized...
38
00:01:28,911 --> 00:01:30,280
bacon, you don't need
no pancake,
39
00:01:30,380 --> 00:01:32,017
you're perfect
just the way you are.
40
00:01:32,117 --> 00:01:34,723
Ha-ha. Look at that.
He's making jokes.
41
00:01:34,823 --> 00:01:36,560
Maybe this isn't
gonna be so bad.
42
00:01:36,627 --> 00:01:38,631
This is gonna be like
a conscious uncoupling.
43
00:01:38,764 --> 00:01:41,537
We're gonna be like Gwyneth
and Coldplay.
44
00:01:41,604 --> 00:01:43,908
So, uh, how'd you sleep?
45
00:01:43,975 --> 00:01:45,177
Great.
46
00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:46,647
I'm so glad I gave up
my apartment
47
00:01:46,714 --> 00:01:48,249
to move in with my girlfriend
and then get dumped
48
00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:50,454
and sleep on her pull-out couch.
49
00:01:50,555 --> 00:01:51,790
Oh.
50
00:01:52,726 --> 00:01:54,763
That one's yours.
51
00:01:55,531 --> 00:01:57,502
Okay, so maybe we're more like
Kim and Kanye.
52
00:01:57,602 --> 00:01:58,871
♪ ♪
53
00:01:58,938 --> 00:02:00,541
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
54
00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,879
♪ Nothin' wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
55
00:02:04,015 --> 00:02:05,752
-Hey, baby.
-CARTER: Hey, babe.
56
00:02:05,818 --> 00:02:08,056
You're just in time. Watch this.
57
00:02:08,123 --> 00:02:10,762
Lights on.
58
00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:13,701
Lights off.
59
00:02:14,503 --> 00:02:16,640
Lights on.
60
00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:20,247
I feel like the Mr. Miyagi
of illumination.
61
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,921
Nice, but I asked you
to install the dishwasher.
62
00:02:24,021 --> 00:02:25,457
I can't keep washing
dishes by hand,
63
00:02:25,525 --> 00:02:27,529
my manicurist says
we need to see other people.
64
00:02:27,662 --> 00:02:30,167
This is way more important
than a dishwasher.
65
00:02:30,267 --> 00:02:32,304
Turn on sexy lights.
66
00:02:33,908 --> 00:02:36,580
It's the same shade of purple
Prince used for his sheets.
67
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:40,087
Yeah, I remember the diorama
you made of his bedroom.
68
00:02:40,153 --> 00:02:42,257
(imitates Prince squealing)
69
00:02:43,694 --> 00:02:44,462
What's in the bag?
70
00:02:44,529 --> 00:02:46,065
Oh, my Aunt Dee's wedding dress.
71
00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:47,669
I always wanted to get
married in it.
72
00:02:47,736 --> 00:02:50,240
I was her flower girl
when I was five. And seven.
73
00:02:50,307 --> 00:02:52,177
And nine. Well, she had a type.
74
00:02:52,277 --> 00:02:53,948
Rich, childless and near death.
75
00:02:54,015 --> 00:02:55,484
The Aunt Dee who sends
Christmas cards
76
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,421
that we can't put up
when kids are around?
77
00:02:57,522 --> 00:02:59,526
I like her.
Let's bust that thing out.
78
00:02:59,593 --> 00:03:01,563
What? Have you lost your mind?
79
00:03:01,630 --> 00:03:04,001
No, you can't see the dress
before the wedding,
80
00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:05,070
it's bad luck.
81
00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:07,408
We're not supposed to have sex
before the wedding,
82
00:03:07,474 --> 00:03:09,011
but I'm still wearing white.
83
00:03:09,045 --> 00:03:12,151
How is this the one superstition
you don't believe in?
84
00:03:12,217 --> 00:03:14,756
You're still forwarding
a chain email from Y2K.
85
00:03:14,823 --> 00:03:17,161
It's been 20 years and
the toasters have not risen up
86
00:03:17,227 --> 00:03:18,496
and tried to kill us.
87
00:03:18,597 --> 00:03:21,436
That's because I'm still
forwarding the email.
88
00:03:21,503 --> 00:03:24,375
I'm serious, don't look at it.
89
00:03:24,475 --> 00:03:26,446
You act like I don't have
any self-control.
90
00:03:26,513 --> 00:03:28,851
We've had wax fruit on
the table for three weeks
91
00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:31,322
and I've only tried one peach.
92
00:03:34,361 --> 00:03:37,034
These pancakes are really good.
93
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,238
You know, some people
call them flapjacks.
94
00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:41,442
(as Jerry Seinfeld):
I mean, who is this Jack
95
00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:43,781
and why is he flapping?
96
00:03:47,321 --> 00:03:48,490
Do I taste cinnamon?
97
00:03:48,557 --> 00:03:51,162
Only if there
was some on the floor.
98
00:03:51,229 --> 00:03:53,634
Max. I know this is hard.
99
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,905
But we said that if we broke up
we'd still be friends.
100
00:03:55,938 --> 00:03:59,278
And Carter's license says
he's six-two. People lie.
101
00:03:59,345 --> 00:04:01,048
You don't mean that.
102
00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:03,186
I know this feels
really bad right now,
103
00:04:03,253 --> 00:04:04,523
but we're gonna work it out.
104
00:04:04,623 --> 00:04:05,792
How am I supposed to explain
this to people
105
00:04:05,858 --> 00:04:07,494
when I don't even get it?
106
00:04:07,562 --> 00:04:09,064
It's like when that kid
at the gas station
107
00:04:09,131 --> 00:04:11,202
asked me how does
a microwave work.
108
00:04:11,302 --> 00:04:14,408
I don't know, kid. It's a box
that makes things hot.
109
00:04:14,475 --> 00:04:15,912
It's micro waves.
110
00:04:15,978 --> 00:04:17,982
The answer's right in the name.
111
00:04:18,851 --> 00:04:21,189
I don't know how to tell people,
but can we at least wait
112
00:04:21,289 --> 00:04:23,092
until after my mother's
birthday party?
113
00:04:23,159 --> 00:04:24,161
Seriously?
114
00:04:24,261 --> 00:04:25,798
It's just a few days.
Max, come on.
115
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:28,369
This is a big birthday for her.
She's "turning 50."
116
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:29,539
And when she finds out
we broke up,
117
00:04:29,639 --> 00:04:32,311
it's gonna break her "heart."
118
00:04:32,377 --> 00:04:35,985
Fine, I'll wait until after
the party, "friend."
119
00:04:36,052 --> 00:04:36,920
"Thanks."
120
00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:38,657
But for the record,
you could've waited
121
00:04:38,724 --> 00:04:40,561
until after your mom's birthday
to dump me.
122
00:04:40,661 --> 00:04:41,830
I waited until after Passover
123
00:04:41,897 --> 00:04:44,368
to tell you I broke
your Garfield mug.
124
00:04:44,468 --> 00:04:46,773
Ugh, I hated that Monday.
125
00:04:47,742 --> 00:04:50,681
It's time to give Hot Lots
viewers what they want.
126
00:04:50,715 --> 00:04:53,386
You start at my butt,
tilt up to my face.
127
00:04:53,453 --> 00:04:54,723
I know how to sell the sizzle.
128
00:04:54,823 --> 00:04:56,459
And you sure you don't want
a stunt butt?
129
00:04:56,527 --> 00:04:58,831
I've been squatting, I'm ready.
130
00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:00,467
-Hi, Darren.
-Hey.
131
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,703
Hey, babe,
did you hear back from
132
00:05:01,804 --> 00:05:03,406
-any of those wedding venues?
-Ugh.
133
00:05:03,507 --> 00:05:04,709
Just the riverfront one.
Turns out
134
00:05:04,843 --> 00:05:06,713
it's just a boat
that crashed into the dock.
135
00:05:06,847 --> 00:05:08,517
Captain said we can't
even do a walkthrough
136
00:05:08,584 --> 00:05:10,086
because it's still
an active crime scene.
137
00:05:10,187 --> 00:05:13,527
Well, that's not an option.
Certainly not at full price.
138
00:05:13,594 --> 00:05:15,631
Well, I'm off to meet
yet another caterer.
139
00:05:15,731 --> 00:05:17,067
Even though we don't
have a venue yet.
140
00:05:17,134 --> 00:05:21,577
And yes, I will ask if they can
do "classy pizza rolls."
141
00:05:21,643 --> 00:05:23,781
Tell them I want
the same pizza rolls
142
00:05:23,848 --> 00:05:26,385
that they eat
at Buckingham Palace!
143
00:05:29,258 --> 00:05:31,295
All right, as a special
wedding surprise,
144
00:05:31,395 --> 00:05:33,499
I want to turn that crawl space
that we discovered
145
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:34,903
into Randi's she-shed.
146
00:05:35,003 --> 00:05:36,339
She said she wanted a she-shed
147
00:05:36,405 --> 00:05:38,911
when we went to
the Shell station for sherbet.
148
00:05:39,011 --> 00:05:41,349
Are you sure you don't want
to turn it into a home gym?
149
00:05:41,415 --> 00:05:43,486
Get some cake like mine.
150
00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:50,467
Oh, man.
151
00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:51,837
Randi's wedding dress.
152
00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:52,972
Should we sneak a peek?
153
00:05:53,072 --> 00:05:54,241
Dude, Randi told you not to.
154
00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:55,845
That makes me want
to do it more!
155
00:05:55,912 --> 00:05:57,849
Like at the zoo when they say
don't pet the animals.
156
00:05:57,916 --> 00:06:01,990
Well, I paid $15. I want to know
what a flamingo feels like, zoo.
157
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,259
Well, it's bad luck.
158
00:06:03,359 --> 00:06:05,163
Uncle Ray saw Aunt Jackie
in her wedding dress
159
00:06:05,230 --> 00:06:06,365
before they got married.
160
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:08,837
50 years later, he drops dead
of an aneurysm.
161
00:06:08,938 --> 00:06:10,942
Okay, fine, I won't look.
162
00:06:11,042 --> 00:06:12,579
Now go get the drywall.
163
00:06:12,679 --> 00:06:14,849
All right.
164
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:19,258
Oops, I just tripped
on this loose floorboard.
165
00:06:19,325 --> 00:06:21,663
I better grab this zipper
to break my fall.
166
00:06:21,763 --> 00:06:24,435
DARREN:
Are you looking at
Randi's dress?
167
00:06:24,502 --> 00:06:27,140
It's beautiful.
168
00:06:27,207 --> 00:06:29,078
White, lacy.
169
00:06:29,144 --> 00:06:32,986
Mm, she's gonna look so fine
eating pizza rolls in this.
170
00:06:36,492 --> 00:06:37,862
You shouldn't have looked.
171
00:06:37,929 --> 00:06:40,801
Oh, please.
Ain't nothing gonna happen.
172
00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,104
(crashing)
173
00:06:46,045 --> 00:06:48,383
Yeah, that's not bad luck.
174
00:06:48,517 --> 00:06:50,755
I'm just a terrible carpenter.
175
00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:58,169
♪ ♪
176
00:06:58,236 --> 00:07:01,309
Damn, this is quite
the itinerary for your party.
177
00:07:01,409 --> 00:07:02,745
-You're doing outfit changes?
-Mm-hmm.
178
00:07:02,812 --> 00:07:06,520
I start as Cleopatra
for cocktails,
179
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:09,058
segue to Jessica Rabbit
for dinner,
180
00:07:09,158 --> 00:07:10,393
then bring the house down
181
00:07:10,427 --> 00:07:12,431
with a Janet Jackson
wardrobe malfunction.
182
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,869
Ooh. Ah, this looks fun.
183
00:07:14,970 --> 00:07:18,042
9:00 to 10:30, watch Sheila
open and rate all gifts.
184
00:07:18,076 --> 00:07:20,514
Oh, yeah, that's one of her
favorite birthday traditions.
185
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:23,252
A couple of years ago I had
my baby shoes bronzed for her.
186
00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:25,056
Got one and a half stars.
187
00:07:25,123 --> 00:07:26,258
Look, if you want them back,
188
00:07:26,359 --> 00:07:28,597
they're probably still
at the pawn shop.
189
00:07:29,566 --> 00:07:31,637
KAT:
Oh, there you are...
190
00:07:31,703 --> 00:07:33,807
in the same clothes
as you wore yesterday.
191
00:07:33,874 --> 00:07:35,276
Boyfriends, they'll do anything
192
00:07:35,377 --> 00:07:38,651
to avoid doing laundry,
am I right?
193
00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:40,655
If God wanted me to wear
underwear once,
194
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,457
he never would've
created inside-out.
195
00:07:42,558 --> 00:07:44,996
Well, don't even
get me started on girlfriends.
196
00:07:45,096 --> 00:07:46,733
They're like,
"See what I did for you?"
197
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,303
And you're like,
"Yeah, but I don't like it."
198
00:07:48,369 --> 00:07:51,108
And they're like, "Well,
I did it because I love you."
199
00:07:51,175 --> 00:07:53,781
That's why I swore off women.
200
00:07:53,847 --> 00:07:58,423
Max, I am so excited to hear
you sing at my party.
201
00:07:58,524 --> 00:07:59,926
Yeah, nothing I like better than
202
00:07:59,993 --> 00:08:01,863
singing a love song
with my Kat, here.
203
00:08:01,930 --> 00:08:04,936
-Oh, you're so sweet.
-All right.
204
00:08:05,705 --> 00:08:07,040
I'm gonna go upstairs.
205
00:08:07,107 --> 00:08:08,744
Too bad she's working,
otherwise we could, you know,
206
00:08:08,811 --> 00:08:11,282
(whistles)
do boyfriend-girlfriend stuff.
207
00:08:11,382 --> 00:08:15,223
Honey, what happens in the
bedroom stays in the bedroom.
208
00:08:15,323 --> 00:08:16,626
Not necessarily.
209
00:08:16,727 --> 00:08:18,196
Sometimes what happens
in the bedroom
210
00:08:18,262 --> 00:08:21,469
ends up on the hood of a Camaro.
211
00:08:21,536 --> 00:08:22,839
Mother, can you watch the shop?
I actually
212
00:08:22,939 --> 00:08:24,341
am gonna run upstairs
for a few minutes.
213
00:08:24,441 --> 00:08:27,515
But, uh, don't ask
'cause I won't tell.
214
00:08:27,582 --> 00:08:29,318
Wasn't gonna ask.
215
00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:32,625
And for the love of God,
please don't tell.
216
00:08:32,725 --> 00:08:34,461
Where were you last night?
217
00:08:34,562 --> 00:08:35,731
I was really worried.
218
00:08:35,831 --> 00:08:37,434
I booby-trapped
the Hot Pocket box,
219
00:08:37,502 --> 00:08:39,038
but I didn't hear the bike horn.
220
00:08:39,104 --> 00:08:41,610
I didn't want to sleep
on a fold-out again.
221
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:44,114
My face is 20, my back is not.
222
00:08:44,181 --> 00:08:46,118
Well, where did you sleep?
223
00:08:47,154 --> 00:08:48,524
Did you hook up with somebody?
224
00:08:48,657 --> 00:08:50,895
I really don't see how that's
any of your business.
225
00:08:50,928 --> 00:08:55,170
Uh, it is my business when you
walk through my business
226
00:08:55,236 --> 00:08:57,040
coming from your "biz-ness."
227
00:08:57,174 --> 00:08:58,977
I don't have to tell you what
I'm up to anymore.
228
00:08:59,078 --> 00:09:02,217
Now, if you don't mind,
229
00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:03,954
please get out of my bedroom.
230
00:09:04,054 --> 00:09:05,423
Oh, that's real mature.
Max, come on.
231
00:09:05,524 --> 00:09:06,626
Can we talk about this?
232
00:09:06,693 --> 00:09:08,864
Sorry, I closed the door
to my room. I can't hear you.
233
00:09:08,964 --> 00:09:12,605
Oh, then I guess
you can't hear this.
234
00:09:13,272 --> 00:09:15,511
♪ Baby shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
235
00:09:15,611 --> 00:09:17,648
♪ Baby shark,
doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
236
00:09:17,749 --> 00:09:20,453
-♪ Baby shark, doo-doo ♪
-♪ 1-877-Kars-4-Kids ♪
237
00:09:20,588 --> 00:09:22,759
-♪ Baby shark, doo-doo ♪
-♪ K-A-R-S, Kars for Kids ♪
238
00:09:22,825 --> 00:09:25,765
-♪ Baby shark, doo-doo ♪
-♪ 1-877-Kars-4-Kids ♪
239
00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:29,939
(muffled overlapping singing)
240
00:09:30,006 --> 00:09:31,142
Freaks.
241
00:09:31,242 --> 00:09:33,947
Now I want her to tell.
242
00:09:37,555 --> 00:09:39,425
You're still not ready
for Sheila's party?
243
00:09:39,526 --> 00:09:41,429
We're about to go
from fashionably late
244
00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:43,567
to stereotypically Black.
245
00:09:44,468 --> 00:09:46,172
Damn! Are you okay?
246
00:09:46,238 --> 00:09:48,577
Uh, yeah, I'm just
a little light-headed
247
00:09:48,610 --> 00:09:50,614
from all the blood loss.
248
00:09:50,681 --> 00:09:52,451
That is you, right, Randi?
249
00:09:52,518 --> 00:09:53,720
Just zip me up.
250
00:09:53,821 --> 00:09:55,089
And don't get any blood
on my dress.
251
00:09:55,156 --> 00:09:57,628
I have to return it
to Nordstrom tomorrow.
252
00:09:58,630 --> 00:09:59,766
It's stuck.
253
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,068
It better not be stuck
in my hair.
254
00:10:01,135 --> 00:10:02,972
I've got to return
that tomorrow, too.
255
00:10:03,072 --> 00:10:05,611
-Hang on, I think I got it.
-Okay.
256
00:10:06,412 --> 00:10:07,548
Uh-oh.
257
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:08,984
-W-What's wrong?
-Uh, nothing.
258
00:10:09,017 --> 00:10:10,420
Uh, completely separate
question:
259
00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:12,592
Do you know where
the stapler is?
260
00:10:12,658 --> 00:10:14,696
Damn it, Carter!
261
00:10:14,762 --> 00:10:16,232
None of my other dresses
will work.
262
00:10:16,332 --> 00:10:19,606
Sheila specifically said
less cleavage than her.
263
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:20,841
It's not my fault.
264
00:10:20,941 --> 00:10:22,177
I mean,
I just had a run of bad luck.
265
00:10:22,277 --> 00:10:25,416
B-But that happens.
Nothing has to cause it.
266
00:10:25,483 --> 00:10:26,452
Just get dressed.
267
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,790
And I'll try to fix the...
Oh, God.
268
00:10:28,857 --> 00:10:30,594
-What?
-I just haven't
269
00:10:30,661 --> 00:10:32,832
felt right since
I met that caterer today...
270
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:35,738
-Oh. Oh.
-(retches)
271
00:10:36,506 --> 00:10:37,440
You okay, baby?
272
00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:40,213
Does it sound like I'm okay?
273
00:10:41,215 --> 00:10:42,618
-Oh.
-(retches)
274
00:10:42,718 --> 00:10:45,591
Uh, can you say it again?
275
00:10:45,724 --> 00:10:48,496
I couldn't understand you
because of the vomit.
276
00:10:48,597 --> 00:10:50,033
(Randi retches)
277
00:10:50,099 --> 00:10:52,103
-Just get over here
and hold my hair back.
-Okay.
278
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:54,809
I told you I got to
return it tomorrow!
279
00:10:54,909 --> 00:10:57,915
-Okay.
-(Randi retches)
280
00:10:58,015 --> 00:11:02,123
-(retching)
-(Carter stammers)
281
00:11:03,694 --> 00:11:06,733
Damn, how many pizza rolls
did you eat?
282
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,504
(Randi gagging)
283
00:11:08,604 --> 00:11:11,075
Right in here.
284
00:11:11,141 --> 00:11:12,845
Oh, hi, Kat.
285
00:11:12,912 --> 00:11:15,885
Oh, it looks great in here.
286
00:11:15,985 --> 00:11:18,557
Hello, Mindy,
glad you could make it.
287
00:11:18,624 --> 00:11:20,761
You are at the red table,
288
00:11:20,861 --> 00:11:22,698
so look for a photo of my mother
289
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,702
in that color nightie.
290
00:11:24,802 --> 00:11:26,205
Is this your grandson?
291
00:11:27,073 --> 00:11:32,050
Yes, and his name is
"mind ya business."
292
00:11:33,052 --> 00:11:37,360
Ah, sweet, they're not
checking IDs.
293
00:11:39,231 --> 00:11:41,068
Hey, cuz, where's Randi?
294
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,137
Food poisoning.
295
00:11:42,204 --> 00:11:43,774
No way we're going
with those caterers.
296
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,310
Certainly not at full price.
297
00:11:45,376 --> 00:11:47,280
What I tell you? You shouldn't
have looked at that dress.
298
00:11:47,347 --> 00:11:50,386
You were right, all sorts of bad
things have been happening.
299
00:11:50,453 --> 00:11:52,424
-Like what?
-Like right now,
300
00:11:52,490 --> 00:11:54,729
I'm stuck here talking to you.
301
00:11:55,396 --> 00:11:57,300
I hate it when you lash out.
302
00:11:58,402 --> 00:12:01,342
Hey, Max, can I get another
bottle of champagne?
303
00:12:01,442 --> 00:12:04,682
"Mind-ya-business" is throwing
'em back like he's at prom.
304
00:12:04,782 --> 00:12:06,686
Which he's missing to be here.
305
00:12:06,753 --> 00:12:08,824
Another bottle of Dom.
306
00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:10,995
Uh, that's not Dom Perignon.
307
00:12:11,061 --> 00:12:13,065
It's Dom Toretto,
the official sparkling wine
308
00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:14,636
of The Fast & The Furious.
309
00:12:14,702 --> 00:12:18,777
Carter bought ten cases after
The Rock joined the franchise.
310
00:12:19,612 --> 00:12:20,781
Are you drinking?
311
00:12:20,848 --> 00:12:22,752
Uh, let me check.
312
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,323
Why yes, I am.
313
00:12:25,456 --> 00:12:27,093
Okay, I'm just surprised.
314
00:12:27,193 --> 00:12:28,597
You haven't had
a drink in months.
315
00:12:28,697 --> 00:12:31,770
Turns out it's like
riding a bike.
316
00:12:31,836 --> 00:12:34,174
Well, look at you two,
317
00:12:34,274 --> 00:12:37,147
the second-best-looking
couple in the room.
318
00:12:37,247 --> 00:12:40,688
Yeah, we certainly are
still a couple.
319
00:12:40,754 --> 00:12:43,225
And they said it wouldn't last.
320
00:12:43,292 --> 00:12:47,167
Well, looks like you and I
both like younger men.
321
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,237
Oh, we're-we're actually
the same age.
322
00:12:49,338 --> 00:12:52,410
Right. So are we.
323
00:12:53,547 --> 00:12:55,884
Miss Leibowitz,
can I use the bathroom?
324
00:12:55,951 --> 00:12:58,356
I told you,
you don't have to ask.
325
00:12:58,456 --> 00:13:01,328
I'm not your teacher anymore.
326
00:13:03,734 --> 00:13:05,604
All hail Sheila,
327
00:13:05,671 --> 00:13:07,775
Queen of De-nial!
328
00:13:07,808 --> 00:13:10,213
(exotic music plays)
329
00:13:14,388 --> 00:13:16,125
Hang on, cut the music.
330
00:13:16,191 --> 00:13:17,528
-(music stops)
-Where is everyone?
331
00:13:17,628 --> 00:13:19,031
Uh, the guests
are still arriving.
332
00:13:19,097 --> 00:13:21,936
Damn it. This is why
Frampton always takes
333
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:24,909
an extra hour to hit the stage.
334
00:13:24,976 --> 00:13:26,646
Gene, turn it around.
335
00:13:26,746 --> 00:13:28,482
Let's go.
336
00:13:38,069 --> 00:13:40,708
Can I get a Stoli
and Grey Goose on the rocks?
337
00:13:40,808 --> 00:13:42,645
You know that's just two vodkas.
338
00:13:42,712 --> 00:13:45,083
Well, look who can count.
339
00:13:45,183 --> 00:13:46,886
Sheila, you know how
to break a curse?
340
00:13:46,953 --> 00:13:49,826
Katharine still dresses like
a lost and found box,
341
00:13:49,926 --> 00:13:52,030
so obviously not.
342
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,502
Hey, I think I'm gonna bail
on the song.
343
00:13:54,569 --> 00:13:56,238
-Just tell your mom
I said sorry.
-What?
344
00:13:56,338 --> 00:13:59,645
No, no, then she'll know
that something's up.
345
00:13:59,712 --> 00:14:00,848
Who cares?
346
00:14:00,914 --> 00:14:02,551
I don't feel like
getting up onstage
347
00:14:02,618 --> 00:14:04,054
and pretending
everything's okay.
348
00:14:04,121 --> 00:14:06,025
It's just like
the high school talent show
349
00:14:06,091 --> 00:14:07,661
when I had to follow
the fire juggler.
350
00:14:07,762 --> 00:14:08,997
My whole performance,
351
00:14:09,097 --> 00:14:11,301
you could still hear him
screaming backstage.
352
00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:14,842
Max, we just have to keep it
together for one song.
353
00:14:14,909 --> 00:14:16,245
I don't even want to be here.
354
00:14:16,311 --> 00:14:17,882
Nobody does!
355
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,919
-(sighs)
-Excuse me.
356
00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:21,723
Can I get everyone's attention?
357
00:14:21,823 --> 00:14:23,727
(cheers and applause)
358
00:14:23,794 --> 00:14:26,966
Um, first off, good news:
359
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,806
Mindy's date has found
his retainer.
360
00:14:29,839 --> 00:14:31,408
(applause)
361
00:14:31,509 --> 00:14:34,649
But please keep an eye out
for his Minions retainer case.
362
00:14:34,716 --> 00:14:36,586
Ba-na-na!
363
00:14:37,454 --> 00:14:41,963
Oh, okay, 'cause that didn't
sound exactly like a Minion?
364
00:14:42,063 --> 00:14:45,269
Now I'd like to welcome
to the stage
365
00:14:45,369 --> 00:14:48,309
someone who is very
special to me.
366
00:14:48,375 --> 00:14:52,016
My daughter Katharine's
boyfriend Max.
367
00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:54,387
(cheers and applause)
368
00:14:54,488 --> 00:14:56,458
All right, you don't want
to do the song, you tell her.
369
00:14:56,526 --> 00:14:59,064
Fine, let's frickin' do it.
370
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:01,201
Oh, also note,
a change in schedule:
371
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:06,044
I'll be doing my belly dance
after I cut the cake.
372
00:15:07,681 --> 00:15:09,418
♪ ♪
373
00:15:09,519 --> 00:15:11,455
Hi, I'm Kat,
Sheila Silver's daughter.
374
00:15:11,556 --> 00:15:15,864
And, Mother, just want you know
how much you mean to me.
375
00:15:15,931 --> 00:15:17,233
Hit it, Max!
376
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,637
♪ ♪
377
00:15:18,737 --> 00:15:22,778
♪ You and I must make a pact ♪
378
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,047
♪ ♪
379
00:15:24,114 --> 00:15:28,757
♪ We must bring salvation back ♪
380
00:15:28,824 --> 00:15:30,527
♪ ♪
381
00:15:30,627 --> 00:15:34,569
♪ Where there is love ♪
382
00:15:34,635 --> 00:15:36,438
♪ I'll be there ♪
383
00:15:36,506 --> 00:15:38,610
♪ Unless you're not ♪
384
00:15:38,677 --> 00:15:40,113
♪ ♪
385
00:15:40,146 --> 00:15:45,724
♪ I'll reach out
my hand to you ♪
386
00:15:45,791 --> 00:15:50,667
♪ Although you don't
want me to ♪
387
00:15:50,734 --> 00:15:52,538
♪ ♪
388
00:15:52,605 --> 00:15:55,911
♪ Just sing the song ♪
389
00:15:56,011 --> 00:15:57,781
♪ I'll be there ♪
390
00:15:57,882 --> 00:16:00,787
♪ No, she won't ♪
391
00:16:00,854 --> 00:16:02,490
♪ ♪
392
00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:07,935
♪ You fill my heart
with joy and laughter ♪
393
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:12,477
♪ Then you threw it
in the trash compactor ♪
394
00:16:12,511 --> 00:16:14,515
♪ Ooh ♪
395
00:16:14,615 --> 00:16:17,287
♪ Just so you know ♪
396
00:16:17,353 --> 00:16:19,324
♪ I never liked Bridgerton ♪
397
00:16:19,391 --> 00:16:21,495
(gasps)
♪ You take that back ♪
398
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:23,098
♪ I won't ♪
399
00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:26,606
Damn. I guess I never really
listened to the lyrics.
400
00:16:26,673 --> 00:16:30,781
♪ You're making this harder
than it needs to be... ♪
401
00:16:30,848 --> 00:16:32,150
(chuckles) No.
402
00:16:32,217 --> 00:16:33,653
You already slept with somebody
403
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,325
and it's only been two days?
That is so tacky.
404
00:16:36,391 --> 00:16:38,964
Enough already.
I slept at Darren's.
405
00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:40,333
Why didn't you just say that?
406
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,571
And when the Duke told Daphne
"I burn for you,"
407
00:16:42,638 --> 00:16:43,807
you cried real tears!
408
00:16:43,874 --> 00:16:45,677
Why am I even defending
myself to you?
409
00:16:45,744 --> 00:16:47,681
We're not together anymore.
410
00:16:47,748 --> 00:16:49,451
Damn it, Max!
411
00:16:49,519 --> 00:16:51,121
(hushed murmuring)
412
00:16:51,221 --> 00:16:52,558
What's happening?
413
00:16:52,625 --> 00:16:55,363
I'll tell you what's happening,
this sucks.
414
00:16:55,429 --> 00:16:58,670
She said this song was about me.
415
00:17:02,377 --> 00:17:04,314
Um...
416
00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:06,953
Uh...
417
00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:08,188
Next up,
418
00:17:08,255 --> 00:17:10,226
a very special birthday
video message
419
00:17:10,293 --> 00:17:12,397
from Ernie Hudson,
the Black Ghostbuster.
420
00:17:12,463 --> 00:17:14,802
Gene, roll that tape, will you?
421
00:17:20,847 --> 00:17:22,150
Honey, are you okay?
422
00:17:22,283 --> 00:17:25,223
Yeah. I'm really sorry
about your song.
423
00:17:25,289 --> 00:17:27,761
Oh, don't worry about that.
424
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,333
I thought it was good.
425
00:17:30,433 --> 00:17:33,740
My video of it
already has 47 likes.
426
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,811
I can't believe
you guys broke up.
427
00:17:35,877 --> 00:17:37,815
-What happened?
-It's complicated.
428
00:17:37,915 --> 00:17:39,719
I can't really
get into it right now.
429
00:17:39,785 --> 00:17:43,727
Why didn't they just watch
the last episode like you did?
430
00:17:43,827 --> 00:17:45,797
This sucks.
431
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,068
Y'all were my
relationship goals.
432
00:17:48,102 --> 00:17:49,404
What about me and Randi?
433
00:17:49,505 --> 00:17:52,410
Check back in when you learn
how to communicate.
434
00:17:52,477 --> 00:17:54,649
(Sheila sobbing)
435
00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:56,586
Oh, don't worry, Mother.
436
00:17:56,653 --> 00:17:58,122
I'll be okay.
437
00:17:58,188 --> 00:18:01,161
I don't see how.
438
00:18:01,261 --> 00:18:04,434
Now you're going to die alone.
439
00:18:09,377 --> 00:18:12,216
Hey, baby, how you feeling?
440
00:18:12,283 --> 00:18:13,553
I was feeling better
441
00:18:13,620 --> 00:18:16,224
until I saw Darren's
livestream of the party.
442
00:18:16,291 --> 00:18:18,262
Sheila demanded
that I spank her.
443
00:18:18,329 --> 00:18:20,734
I mean, it was her birthday.
I had no choice.
444
00:18:20,801 --> 00:18:23,005
No, Kat and Max breaking up.
445
00:18:23,072 --> 00:18:24,441
Yeah.
446
00:18:24,508 --> 00:18:26,278
That was sad.
447
00:18:26,345 --> 00:18:28,015
How'd it make you feel?
448
00:18:28,082 --> 00:18:29,819
We should communicate.
449
00:18:29,919 --> 00:18:31,388
What?
450
00:18:31,488 --> 00:18:33,192
Don't be mad.
451
00:18:33,292 --> 00:18:34,562
I looked at your wedding dress.
452
00:18:34,695 --> 00:18:35,463
What the hell?!
453
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:36,833
You said you wouldn't be mad!
454
00:18:36,899 --> 00:18:37,701
No, I didn't.
455
00:18:37,801 --> 00:18:38,970
The point is I'm cursed.
456
00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:41,341
I mean, your food poisoning,
the shelves,
457
00:18:41,408 --> 00:18:43,112
Mindy's date got grounded.
458
00:18:43,212 --> 00:18:44,949
Baby, you're not cursed.
459
00:18:45,049 --> 00:18:46,051
No, it's true.
460
00:18:46,118 --> 00:18:47,387
You need to just save yourself.
461
00:18:47,453 --> 00:18:49,424
-What are you talking about?
-Mm-mm.
462
00:18:49,525 --> 00:18:52,731
Just walk away, but do it slow.
463
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:56,271
I need to see that thang
thangin' one last time.
464
00:18:56,371 --> 00:18:58,610
I promise you're not cursed
465
00:18:58,710 --> 00:19:01,048
because it's not gonna be
my wedding dress.
466
00:19:01,114 --> 00:19:02,250
What?
467
00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:03,319
Yeah, Aunt Dee
got engaged again,
468
00:19:03,385 --> 00:19:04,789
so she wants her dress back.
469
00:19:04,855 --> 00:19:06,926
Should've seen it coming
when she got that job
470
00:19:06,993 --> 00:19:08,228
at the nursing home.
471
00:19:08,295 --> 00:19:10,534
Then what caused
all my bad luck?
472
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:11,736
Bad luck?
473
00:19:11,836 --> 00:19:13,238
Baby, you are marrying me.
474
00:19:13,339 --> 00:19:15,610
You have the best luck
of anyone I know.
475
00:19:15,744 --> 00:19:17,981
Yeah, I am pretty lucky.
476
00:19:18,015 --> 00:19:19,250
(chuckling)
477
00:19:19,384 --> 00:19:20,987
And you lucky too, right?
478
00:19:21,054 --> 00:19:22,925
Sure.
479
00:19:30,406 --> 00:19:31,576
♪ ♪
480
00:19:31,642 --> 00:19:35,016
God, there you are.
What was...?
481
00:19:35,116 --> 00:19:37,120
Oh.
482
00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:39,157
You're moving out now.
483
00:19:39,257 --> 00:19:40,660
Yep. Moving out.
484
00:19:40,794 --> 00:19:43,332
Also, microwaves cause water
molecules in food to vibrate,
485
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:45,804
producing heat
that cooks the food.
486
00:19:45,904 --> 00:19:47,173
Just FYI.
487
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,344
If this is about the bed,
488
00:19:49,411 --> 00:19:50,614
you can sleep in the bed.
489
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,250
I'll be on the pull-out, see?
Whoa.
490
00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:53,485
Sweet Ernie Hudson.
491
00:19:53,586 --> 00:19:55,590
Is there even a mattress
in that thing?
492
00:19:55,724 --> 00:19:56,826
I got to go.
493
00:19:56,859 --> 00:19:59,532
But Max, I don't want you
to leave like this.
494
00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:02,270
This feels like we're
never gonna talk again.
495
00:20:02,403 --> 00:20:05,076
I just... I just can't
keep doing this.
496
00:20:05,142 --> 00:20:07,948
That night on the roof,
497
00:20:08,015 --> 00:20:11,188
you promised I would
never lose you.
498
00:20:12,023 --> 00:20:14,060
(sighs)
499
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,764
My key's on the counter.
500
00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:23,680
(door closes)
501
00:20:28,723 --> 00:20:31,394
He'll be back.
That's his car key.
502
00:20:32,263 --> 00:20:34,735
♪ Baby shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
503
00:20:34,835 --> 00:20:36,572
♪ Baby shark,
doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
504
00:20:36,672 --> 00:20:38,610
♪ Baby shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
505
00:20:38,710 --> 00:20:40,146
♪ Baby shark ♪
506
00:20:40,212 --> 00:20:42,684
♪ Mommy shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
507
00:20:42,751 --> 00:20:45,156
♪ Mommy shark,
doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
508
00:20:45,256 --> 00:20:47,795
♪ Mommy shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
509
00:20:47,861 --> 00:20:49,330
♪ Mommy shark ♪
510
00:20:49,397 --> 00:20:51,368
♪ Daddy shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
511
00:20:51,468 --> 00:20:53,272
♪ Daddy shark,
doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
512
00:20:53,338 --> 00:20:55,811
♪ Daddy shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
513
00:20:55,911 --> 00:20:57,346
♪ Daddy shark ♪
514
00:20:57,447 --> 00:20:59,284
♪ Grandma shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
515
00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:01,589
♪ Grandma shark,
doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
516
00:21:01,689 --> 00:21:03,793
♪ Grandma shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
517
00:21:03,893 --> 00:21:05,496
♪ Grandma shark. ♪
518
00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:07,433
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
519
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,239
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
35437
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.