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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,739 --> 00:00:04,342 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:04,408 --> 00:00:06,479 I broke up with Max last night. 3 00:00:06,580 --> 00:00:07,916 Y'all saw what happened. 4 00:00:07,983 --> 00:00:10,320 If you didn't, go to Hulu right now, watch. 5 00:00:10,387 --> 00:00:12,358 I'll be waiting right here. 6 00:00:12,391 --> 00:00:14,530 Welcome back, I hope you enjoyed the episode. 7 00:00:14,596 --> 00:00:17,936 So Max stormed out and he didn't come back until after 2:00. 8 00:00:18,036 --> 00:00:19,238 At least I think it was him. 9 00:00:19,305 --> 00:00:20,575 It's also possible I'm being robbed by someone 10 00:00:20,708 --> 00:00:23,280 who made a Hot Pocket and slept on the sofa. 11 00:00:23,380 --> 00:00:24,816 Look, ending it was really hard, 12 00:00:24,883 --> 00:00:27,789 but turns out the guy I've been pining after for 20 years 13 00:00:27,889 --> 00:00:29,826 is a real dick under pressure. 14 00:00:29,927 --> 00:00:30,762 No, thanks. 15 00:00:30,895 --> 00:00:32,999 I'd rather be his friend than his girlfriend. 16 00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:34,302 And that's what I'm gonna do. 17 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:36,674 I'm gonna go out there and be his friend. 18 00:00:36,774 --> 00:00:38,009 It's not gonna be awkward at all. 19 00:00:38,109 --> 00:00:41,449 I'm just gonna go and be his friend, out there. 20 00:00:41,517 --> 00:00:43,888 Soon as I get out of bed, that's what I'm gonna do. 21 00:00:43,988 --> 00:00:46,760 I'm just gonna move my legs, and go out there. 22 00:00:46,827 --> 00:00:48,396 Be his friend. 23 00:00:48,463 --> 00:00:50,133 Here I go. 24 00:00:57,414 --> 00:00:59,285 Morning. 25 00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:00,354 Hey. 26 00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:03,093 Oh, that didn't feel like a friend zone "hey." 27 00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,264 This might take a little longer than I thought. 28 00:01:05,330 --> 00:01:06,800 Just got to stay strong. 29 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:10,240 And stop looking at his sexy arms. 30 00:01:13,146 --> 00:01:14,950 His sexy legs. 31 00:01:15,551 --> 00:01:18,123 God, it's like there's nowhere to look. 32 00:01:18,189 --> 00:01:20,427 So, making pancakes? 33 00:01:20,561 --> 00:01:21,730 Yep. 34 00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:23,033 Nice. 35 00:01:23,099 --> 00:01:24,503 You want some? 36 00:01:24,603 --> 00:01:26,607 I was gonna put bacon in them, so I made the bacon, 37 00:01:26,707 --> 00:01:28,811 had a bite of the bacon, and then I realized... 38 00:01:28,911 --> 00:01:30,280 bacon, you don't need no pancake, 39 00:01:30,380 --> 00:01:32,017 you're perfect just the way you are. 40 00:01:32,117 --> 00:01:34,723 Ha-ha. Look at that. He's making jokes. 41 00:01:34,823 --> 00:01:36,560 Maybe this isn't gonna be so bad. 42 00:01:36,627 --> 00:01:38,631 This is gonna be like a conscious uncoupling. 43 00:01:38,764 --> 00:01:41,537 We're gonna be like Gwyneth and Coldplay. 44 00:01:41,604 --> 00:01:43,908 So, uh, how'd you sleep? 45 00:01:43,975 --> 00:01:45,177 Great. 46 00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:46,647 I'm so glad I gave up my apartment 47 00:01:46,714 --> 00:01:48,249 to move in with my girlfriend and then get dumped 48 00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:50,454 and sleep on her pull-out couch. 49 00:01:50,555 --> 00:01:51,790 Oh. 50 00:01:52,726 --> 00:01:54,763 That one's yours. 51 00:01:55,531 --> 00:01:57,502 Okay, so maybe we're more like Kim and Kanye. 52 00:01:57,602 --> 00:01:58,871 ♪ ♪ 53 00:01:58,938 --> 00:02:00,541 ♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪ 54 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,879 ♪ Nothin' wrong with you but I'd rather be me. ♪ 55 00:02:04,015 --> 00:02:05,752 -Hey, baby. -CARTER: Hey, babe. 56 00:02:05,818 --> 00:02:08,056 You're just in time. Watch this. 57 00:02:08,123 --> 00:02:10,762 Lights on. 58 00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:13,701 Lights off. 59 00:02:14,503 --> 00:02:16,640 Lights on. 60 00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:20,247 I feel like the Mr. Miyagi of illumination. 61 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,921 Nice, but I asked you to install the dishwasher. 62 00:02:24,021 --> 00:02:25,457 I can't keep washing dishes by hand, 63 00:02:25,525 --> 00:02:27,529 my manicurist says we need to see other people. 64 00:02:27,662 --> 00:02:30,167 This is way more important than a dishwasher. 65 00:02:30,267 --> 00:02:32,304 Turn on sexy lights. 66 00:02:33,908 --> 00:02:36,580 It's the same shade of purple Prince used for his sheets. 67 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:40,087 Yeah, I remember the diorama you made of his bedroom. 68 00:02:40,153 --> 00:02:42,257 (imitates Prince squealing) 69 00:02:43,694 --> 00:02:44,462 What's in the bag? 70 00:02:44,529 --> 00:02:46,065 Oh, my Aunt Dee's wedding dress. 71 00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:47,669 I always wanted to get married in it. 72 00:02:47,736 --> 00:02:50,240 I was her flower girl when I was five. And seven. 73 00:02:50,307 --> 00:02:52,177 And nine. Well, she had a type. 74 00:02:52,277 --> 00:02:53,948 Rich, childless and near death. 75 00:02:54,015 --> 00:02:55,484 The Aunt Dee who sends Christmas cards 76 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,421 that we can't put up when kids are around? 77 00:02:57,522 --> 00:02:59,526 I like her. Let's bust that thing out. 78 00:02:59,593 --> 00:03:01,563 What? Have you lost your mind? 79 00:03:01,630 --> 00:03:04,001 No, you can't see the dress before the wedding, 80 00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:05,070 it's bad luck. 81 00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:07,408 We're not supposed to have sex before the wedding, 82 00:03:07,474 --> 00:03:09,011 but I'm still wearing white. 83 00:03:09,045 --> 00:03:12,151 How is this the one superstition you don't believe in? 84 00:03:12,217 --> 00:03:14,756 You're still forwarding a chain email from Y2K. 85 00:03:14,823 --> 00:03:17,161 It's been 20 years and the toasters have not risen up 86 00:03:17,227 --> 00:03:18,496 and tried to kill us. 87 00:03:18,597 --> 00:03:21,436 That's because I'm still forwarding the email. 88 00:03:21,503 --> 00:03:24,375 I'm serious, don't look at it. 89 00:03:24,475 --> 00:03:26,446 You act like I don't have any self-control. 90 00:03:26,513 --> 00:03:28,851 We've had wax fruit on the table for three weeks 91 00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:31,322 and I've only tried one peach. 92 00:03:34,361 --> 00:03:37,034 These pancakes are really good. 93 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,238 You know, some people call them flapjacks. 94 00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:41,442 (as Jerry Seinfeld): I mean, who is this Jack 95 00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:43,781 and why is he flapping? 96 00:03:47,321 --> 00:03:48,490 Do I taste cinnamon? 97 00:03:48,557 --> 00:03:51,162 Only if there was some on the floor. 98 00:03:51,229 --> 00:03:53,634 Max. I know this is hard. 99 00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,905 But we said that if we broke up we'd still be friends. 100 00:03:55,938 --> 00:03:59,278 And Carter's license says he's six-two. People lie. 101 00:03:59,345 --> 00:04:01,048 You don't mean that. 102 00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:03,186 I know this feels really bad right now, 103 00:04:03,253 --> 00:04:04,523 but we're gonna work it out. 104 00:04:04,623 --> 00:04:05,792 How am I supposed to explain this to people 105 00:04:05,858 --> 00:04:07,494 when I don't even get it? 106 00:04:07,562 --> 00:04:09,064 It's like when that kid at the gas station 107 00:04:09,131 --> 00:04:11,202 asked me how does a microwave work. 108 00:04:11,302 --> 00:04:14,408 I don't know, kid. It's a box that makes things hot. 109 00:04:14,475 --> 00:04:15,912 It's micro waves. 110 00:04:15,978 --> 00:04:17,982 The answer's right in the name. 111 00:04:18,851 --> 00:04:21,189 I don't know how to tell people, but can we at least wait 112 00:04:21,289 --> 00:04:23,092 until after my mother's birthday party? 113 00:04:23,159 --> 00:04:24,161 Seriously? 114 00:04:24,261 --> 00:04:25,798 It's just a few days. Max, come on. 115 00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:28,369 This is a big birthday for her. She's "turning 50." 116 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:29,539 And when she finds out we broke up, 117 00:04:29,639 --> 00:04:32,311 it's gonna break her "heart." 118 00:04:32,377 --> 00:04:35,985 Fine, I'll wait until after the party, "friend." 119 00:04:36,052 --> 00:04:36,920 "Thanks." 120 00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:38,657 But for the record, you could've waited 121 00:04:38,724 --> 00:04:40,561 until after your mom's birthday to dump me. 122 00:04:40,661 --> 00:04:41,830 I waited until after Passover 123 00:04:41,897 --> 00:04:44,368 to tell you I broke your Garfield mug. 124 00:04:44,468 --> 00:04:46,773 Ugh, I hated that Monday. 125 00:04:47,742 --> 00:04:50,681 It's time to give Hot Lots viewers what they want. 126 00:04:50,715 --> 00:04:53,386 You start at my butt, tilt up to my face. 127 00:04:53,453 --> 00:04:54,723 I know how to sell the sizzle. 128 00:04:54,823 --> 00:04:56,459 And you sure you don't want a stunt butt? 129 00:04:56,527 --> 00:04:58,831 I've been squatting, I'm ready. 130 00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:00,467 -Hi, Darren. -Hey. 131 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,703 Hey, babe, did you hear back from 132 00:05:01,804 --> 00:05:03,406 -any of those wedding venues? -Ugh. 133 00:05:03,507 --> 00:05:04,709 Just the riverfront one. Turns out 134 00:05:04,843 --> 00:05:06,713 it's just a boat that crashed into the dock. 135 00:05:06,847 --> 00:05:08,517 Captain said we can't even do a walkthrough 136 00:05:08,584 --> 00:05:10,086 because it's still an active crime scene. 137 00:05:10,187 --> 00:05:13,527 Well, that's not an option. Certainly not at full price. 138 00:05:13,594 --> 00:05:15,631 Well, I'm off to meet yet another caterer. 139 00:05:15,731 --> 00:05:17,067 Even though we don't have a venue yet. 140 00:05:17,134 --> 00:05:21,577 And yes, I will ask if they can do "classy pizza rolls." 141 00:05:21,643 --> 00:05:23,781 Tell them I want the same pizza rolls 142 00:05:23,848 --> 00:05:26,385 that they eat at Buckingham Palace! 143 00:05:29,258 --> 00:05:31,295 All right, as a special wedding surprise, 144 00:05:31,395 --> 00:05:33,499 I want to turn that crawl space that we discovered 145 00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:34,903 into Randi's she-shed. 146 00:05:35,003 --> 00:05:36,339 She said she wanted a she-shed 147 00:05:36,405 --> 00:05:38,911 when we went to the Shell station for sherbet. 148 00:05:39,011 --> 00:05:41,349 Are you sure you don't want to turn it into a home gym? 149 00:05:41,415 --> 00:05:43,486 Get some cake like mine. 150 00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:50,467 Oh, man. 151 00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:51,837 Randi's wedding dress. 152 00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:52,972 Should we sneak a peek? 153 00:05:53,072 --> 00:05:54,241 Dude, Randi told you not to. 154 00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:55,845 That makes me want to do it more! 155 00:05:55,912 --> 00:05:57,849 Like at the zoo when they say don't pet the animals. 156 00:05:57,916 --> 00:06:01,990 Well, I paid $15. I want to know what a flamingo feels like, zoo. 157 00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,259 Well, it's bad luck. 158 00:06:03,359 --> 00:06:05,163 Uncle Ray saw Aunt Jackie in her wedding dress 159 00:06:05,230 --> 00:06:06,365 before they got married. 160 00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:08,837 50 years later, he drops dead of an aneurysm. 161 00:06:08,938 --> 00:06:10,942 Okay, fine, I won't look. 162 00:06:11,042 --> 00:06:12,579 Now go get the drywall. 163 00:06:12,679 --> 00:06:14,849 All right. 164 00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:19,258 Oops, I just tripped on this loose floorboard. 165 00:06:19,325 --> 00:06:21,663 I better grab this zipper to break my fall. 166 00:06:21,763 --> 00:06:24,435 DARREN: Are you looking at Randi's dress? 167 00:06:24,502 --> 00:06:27,140 It's beautiful. 168 00:06:27,207 --> 00:06:29,078 White, lacy. 169 00:06:29,144 --> 00:06:32,986 Mm, she's gonna look so fine eating pizza rolls in this. 170 00:06:36,492 --> 00:06:37,862 You shouldn't have looked. 171 00:06:37,929 --> 00:06:40,801 Oh, please. Ain't nothing gonna happen. 172 00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,104 (crashing) 173 00:06:46,045 --> 00:06:48,383 Yeah, that's not bad luck. 174 00:06:48,517 --> 00:06:50,755 I'm just a terrible carpenter. 175 00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:58,169 ♪ ♪ 176 00:06:58,236 --> 00:07:01,309 Damn, this is quite the itinerary for your party. 177 00:07:01,409 --> 00:07:02,745 -You're doing outfit changes? -Mm-hmm. 178 00:07:02,812 --> 00:07:06,520 I start as Cleopatra for cocktails, 179 00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:09,058 segue to Jessica Rabbit for dinner, 180 00:07:09,158 --> 00:07:10,393 then bring the house down 181 00:07:10,427 --> 00:07:12,431 with a Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. 182 00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,869 Ooh. Ah, this looks fun. 183 00:07:14,970 --> 00:07:18,042 9:00 to 10:30, watch Sheila open and rate all gifts. 184 00:07:18,076 --> 00:07:20,514 Oh, yeah, that's one of her favorite birthday traditions. 185 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:23,252 A couple of years ago I had my baby shoes bronzed for her. 186 00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:25,056 Got one and a half stars. 187 00:07:25,123 --> 00:07:26,258 Look, if you want them back, 188 00:07:26,359 --> 00:07:28,597 they're probably still at the pawn shop. 189 00:07:29,566 --> 00:07:31,637 KAT: Oh, there you are... 190 00:07:31,703 --> 00:07:33,807 in the same clothes as you wore yesterday. 191 00:07:33,874 --> 00:07:35,276 Boyfriends, they'll do anything 192 00:07:35,377 --> 00:07:38,651 to avoid doing laundry, am I right? 193 00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:40,655 If God wanted me to wear underwear once, 194 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,457 he never would've created inside-out. 195 00:07:42,558 --> 00:07:44,996 Well, don't even get me started on girlfriends. 196 00:07:45,096 --> 00:07:46,733 They're like, "See what I did for you?" 197 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,303 And you're like, "Yeah, but I don't like it." 198 00:07:48,369 --> 00:07:51,108 And they're like, "Well, I did it because I love you." 199 00:07:51,175 --> 00:07:53,781 That's why I swore off women. 200 00:07:53,847 --> 00:07:58,423 Max, I am so excited to hear you sing at my party. 201 00:07:58,524 --> 00:07:59,926 Yeah, nothing I like better than 202 00:07:59,993 --> 00:08:01,863 singing a love song with my Kat, here. 203 00:08:01,930 --> 00:08:04,936 -Oh, you're so sweet. -All right. 204 00:08:05,705 --> 00:08:07,040 I'm gonna go upstairs. 205 00:08:07,107 --> 00:08:08,744 Too bad she's working, otherwise we could, you know, 206 00:08:08,811 --> 00:08:11,282 (whistles) do boyfriend-girlfriend stuff. 207 00:08:11,382 --> 00:08:15,223 Honey, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. 208 00:08:15,323 --> 00:08:16,626 Not necessarily. 209 00:08:16,727 --> 00:08:18,196 Sometimes what happens in the bedroom 210 00:08:18,262 --> 00:08:21,469 ends up on the hood of a Camaro. 211 00:08:21,536 --> 00:08:22,839 Mother, can you watch the shop? I actually 212 00:08:22,939 --> 00:08:24,341 am gonna run upstairs for a few minutes. 213 00:08:24,441 --> 00:08:27,515 But, uh, don't ask 'cause I won't tell. 214 00:08:27,582 --> 00:08:29,318 Wasn't gonna ask. 215 00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:32,625 And for the love of God, please don't tell. 216 00:08:32,725 --> 00:08:34,461 Where were you last night? 217 00:08:34,562 --> 00:08:35,731 I was really worried. 218 00:08:35,831 --> 00:08:37,434 I booby-trapped the Hot Pocket box, 219 00:08:37,502 --> 00:08:39,038 but I didn't hear the bike horn. 220 00:08:39,104 --> 00:08:41,610 I didn't want to sleep on a fold-out again. 221 00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:44,114 My face is 20, my back is not. 222 00:08:44,181 --> 00:08:46,118 Well, where did you sleep? 223 00:08:47,154 --> 00:08:48,524 Did you hook up with somebody? 224 00:08:48,657 --> 00:08:50,895 I really don't see how that's any of your business. 225 00:08:50,928 --> 00:08:55,170 Uh, it is my business when you walk through my business 226 00:08:55,236 --> 00:08:57,040 coming from your "biz-ness." 227 00:08:57,174 --> 00:08:58,977 I don't have to tell you what I'm up to anymore. 228 00:08:59,078 --> 00:09:02,217 Now, if you don't mind, 229 00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:03,954 please get out of my bedroom. 230 00:09:04,054 --> 00:09:05,423 Oh, that's real mature. Max, come on. 231 00:09:05,524 --> 00:09:06,626 Can we talk about this? 232 00:09:06,693 --> 00:09:08,864 Sorry, I closed the door to my room. I can't hear you. 233 00:09:08,964 --> 00:09:12,605 Oh, then I guess you can't hear this. 234 00:09:13,272 --> 00:09:15,511 ♪ Baby shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 235 00:09:15,611 --> 00:09:17,648 ♪ Baby shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 236 00:09:17,749 --> 00:09:20,453 -♪ Baby shark, doo-doo ♪ -♪ 1-877-Kars-4-Kids ♪ 237 00:09:20,588 --> 00:09:22,759 -♪ Baby shark, doo-doo ♪ -♪ K-A-R-S, Kars for Kids ♪ 238 00:09:22,825 --> 00:09:25,765 -♪ Baby shark, doo-doo ♪ -♪ 1-877-Kars-4-Kids ♪ 239 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:29,939 (muffled overlapping singing) 240 00:09:30,006 --> 00:09:31,142 Freaks. 241 00:09:31,242 --> 00:09:33,947 Now I want her to tell. 242 00:09:37,555 --> 00:09:39,425 You're still not ready for Sheila's party? 243 00:09:39,526 --> 00:09:41,429 We're about to go from fashionably late 244 00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:43,567 to stereotypically Black. 245 00:09:44,468 --> 00:09:46,172 Damn! Are you okay? 246 00:09:46,238 --> 00:09:48,577 Uh, yeah, I'm just a little light-headed 247 00:09:48,610 --> 00:09:50,614 from all the blood loss. 248 00:09:50,681 --> 00:09:52,451 That is you, right, Randi? 249 00:09:52,518 --> 00:09:53,720 Just zip me up. 250 00:09:53,821 --> 00:09:55,089 And don't get any blood on my dress. 251 00:09:55,156 --> 00:09:57,628 I have to return it to Nordstrom tomorrow. 252 00:09:58,630 --> 00:09:59,766 It's stuck. 253 00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,068 It better not be stuck in my hair. 254 00:10:01,135 --> 00:10:02,972 I've got to return that tomorrow, too. 255 00:10:03,072 --> 00:10:05,611 -Hang on, I think I got it. -Okay. 256 00:10:06,412 --> 00:10:07,548 Uh-oh. 257 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:08,984 -W-What's wrong? -Uh, nothing. 258 00:10:09,017 --> 00:10:10,420 Uh, completely separate question: 259 00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:12,592 Do you know where the stapler is? 260 00:10:12,658 --> 00:10:14,696 Damn it, Carter! 261 00:10:14,762 --> 00:10:16,232 None of my other dresses will work. 262 00:10:16,332 --> 00:10:19,606 Sheila specifically said less cleavage than her. 263 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:20,841 It's not my fault. 264 00:10:20,941 --> 00:10:22,177 I mean, I just had a run of bad luck. 265 00:10:22,277 --> 00:10:25,416 B-But that happens. Nothing has to cause it. 266 00:10:25,483 --> 00:10:26,452 Just get dressed. 267 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,790 And I'll try to fix the... Oh, God. 268 00:10:28,857 --> 00:10:30,594 -What? -I just haven't 269 00:10:30,661 --> 00:10:32,832 felt right since I met that caterer today... 270 00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:35,738 -Oh. Oh. -(retches) 271 00:10:36,506 --> 00:10:37,440 You okay, baby? 272 00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:40,213 Does it sound like I'm okay? 273 00:10:41,215 --> 00:10:42,618 -Oh. -(retches) 274 00:10:42,718 --> 00:10:45,591 Uh, can you say it again? 275 00:10:45,724 --> 00:10:48,496 I couldn't understand you because of the vomit. 276 00:10:48,597 --> 00:10:50,033 (Randi retches) 277 00:10:50,099 --> 00:10:52,103 -Just get over here and hold my hair back. -Okay. 278 00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:54,809 I told you I got to return it tomorrow! 279 00:10:54,909 --> 00:10:57,915 -Okay. -(Randi retches) 280 00:10:58,015 --> 00:11:02,123 -(retching) -(Carter stammers) 281 00:11:03,694 --> 00:11:06,733 Damn, how many pizza rolls did you eat? 282 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,504 (Randi gagging) 283 00:11:08,604 --> 00:11:11,075 Right in here. 284 00:11:11,141 --> 00:11:12,845 Oh, hi, Kat. 285 00:11:12,912 --> 00:11:15,885 Oh, it looks great in here. 286 00:11:15,985 --> 00:11:18,557 Hello, Mindy, glad you could make it. 287 00:11:18,624 --> 00:11:20,761 You are at the red table, 288 00:11:20,861 --> 00:11:22,698 so look for a photo of my mother 289 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,702 in that color nightie. 290 00:11:24,802 --> 00:11:26,205 Is this your grandson? 291 00:11:27,073 --> 00:11:32,050 Yes, and his name is "mind ya business." 292 00:11:33,052 --> 00:11:37,360 Ah, sweet, they're not checking IDs. 293 00:11:39,231 --> 00:11:41,068 Hey, cuz, where's Randi? 294 00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,137 Food poisoning. 295 00:11:42,204 --> 00:11:43,774 No way we're going with those caterers. 296 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,310 Certainly not at full price. 297 00:11:45,376 --> 00:11:47,280 What I tell you? You shouldn't have looked at that dress. 298 00:11:47,347 --> 00:11:50,386 You were right, all sorts of bad things have been happening. 299 00:11:50,453 --> 00:11:52,424 -Like what? -Like right now, 300 00:11:52,490 --> 00:11:54,729 I'm stuck here talking to you. 301 00:11:55,396 --> 00:11:57,300 I hate it when you lash out. 302 00:11:58,402 --> 00:12:01,342 Hey, Max, can I get another bottle of champagne? 303 00:12:01,442 --> 00:12:04,682 "Mind-ya-business" is throwing 'em back like he's at prom. 304 00:12:04,782 --> 00:12:06,686 Which he's missing to be here. 305 00:12:06,753 --> 00:12:08,824 Another bottle of Dom. 306 00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:10,995 Uh, that's not Dom Perignon. 307 00:12:11,061 --> 00:12:13,065 It's Dom Toretto, the official sparkling wine 308 00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:14,636 of The Fast & The Furious. 309 00:12:14,702 --> 00:12:18,777 Carter bought ten cases after The Rock joined the franchise. 310 00:12:19,612 --> 00:12:20,781 Are you drinking? 311 00:12:20,848 --> 00:12:22,752 Uh, let me check. 312 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,323 Why yes, I am. 313 00:12:25,456 --> 00:12:27,093 Okay, I'm just surprised. 314 00:12:27,193 --> 00:12:28,597 You haven't had a drink in months. 315 00:12:28,697 --> 00:12:31,770 Turns out it's like riding a bike. 316 00:12:31,836 --> 00:12:34,174 Well, look at you two, 317 00:12:34,274 --> 00:12:37,147 the second-best-looking couple in the room. 318 00:12:37,247 --> 00:12:40,688 Yeah, we certainly are still a couple. 319 00:12:40,754 --> 00:12:43,225 And they said it wouldn't last. 320 00:12:43,292 --> 00:12:47,167 Well, looks like you and I both like younger men. 321 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,237 Oh, we're-we're actually the same age. 322 00:12:49,338 --> 00:12:52,410 Right. So are we. 323 00:12:53,547 --> 00:12:55,884 Miss Leibowitz, can I use the bathroom? 324 00:12:55,951 --> 00:12:58,356 I told you, you don't have to ask. 325 00:12:58,456 --> 00:13:01,328 I'm not your teacher anymore. 326 00:13:03,734 --> 00:13:05,604 All hail Sheila, 327 00:13:05,671 --> 00:13:07,775 Queen of De-nial! 328 00:13:07,808 --> 00:13:10,213 (exotic music plays) 329 00:13:14,388 --> 00:13:16,125 Hang on, cut the music. 330 00:13:16,191 --> 00:13:17,528 -(music stops) -Where is everyone? 331 00:13:17,628 --> 00:13:19,031 Uh, the guests are still arriving. 332 00:13:19,097 --> 00:13:21,936 Damn it. This is why Frampton always takes 333 00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:24,909 an extra hour to hit the stage. 334 00:13:24,976 --> 00:13:26,646 Gene, turn it around. 335 00:13:26,746 --> 00:13:28,482 Let's go. 336 00:13:38,069 --> 00:13:40,708 Can I get a Stoli and Grey Goose on the rocks? 337 00:13:40,808 --> 00:13:42,645 You know that's just two vodkas. 338 00:13:42,712 --> 00:13:45,083 Well, look who can count. 339 00:13:45,183 --> 00:13:46,886 Sheila, you know how to break a curse? 340 00:13:46,953 --> 00:13:49,826 Katharine still dresses like a lost and found box, 341 00:13:49,926 --> 00:13:52,030 so obviously not. 342 00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,502 Hey, I think I'm gonna bail on the song. 343 00:13:54,569 --> 00:13:56,238 -Just tell your mom I said sorry. -What? 344 00:13:56,338 --> 00:13:59,645 No, no, then she'll know that something's up. 345 00:13:59,712 --> 00:14:00,848 Who cares? 346 00:14:00,914 --> 00:14:02,551 I don't feel like getting up onstage 347 00:14:02,618 --> 00:14:04,054 and pretending everything's okay. 348 00:14:04,121 --> 00:14:06,025 It's just like the high school talent show 349 00:14:06,091 --> 00:14:07,661 when I had to follow the fire juggler. 350 00:14:07,762 --> 00:14:08,997 My whole performance, 351 00:14:09,097 --> 00:14:11,301 you could still hear him screaming backstage. 352 00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:14,842 Max, we just have to keep it together for one song. 353 00:14:14,909 --> 00:14:16,245 I don't even want to be here. 354 00:14:16,311 --> 00:14:17,882 Nobody does! 355 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,919 -(sighs) -Excuse me. 356 00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:21,723 Can I get everyone's attention? 357 00:14:21,823 --> 00:14:23,727 (cheers and applause) 358 00:14:23,794 --> 00:14:26,966 Um, first off, good news: 359 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,806 Mindy's date has found his retainer. 360 00:14:29,839 --> 00:14:31,408 (applause) 361 00:14:31,509 --> 00:14:34,649 But please keep an eye out for his Minions retainer case. 362 00:14:34,716 --> 00:14:36,586 Ba-na-na! 363 00:14:37,454 --> 00:14:41,963 Oh, okay, 'cause that didn't sound exactly like a Minion? 364 00:14:42,063 --> 00:14:45,269 Now I'd like to welcome to the stage 365 00:14:45,369 --> 00:14:48,309 someone who is very special to me. 366 00:14:48,375 --> 00:14:52,016 My daughter Katharine's boyfriend Max. 367 00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:54,387 (cheers and applause) 368 00:14:54,488 --> 00:14:56,458 All right, you don't want to do the song, you tell her. 369 00:14:56,526 --> 00:14:59,064 Fine, let's frickin' do it. 370 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:01,201 Oh, also note, a change in schedule: 371 00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:06,044 I'll be doing my belly dance after I cut the cake. 372 00:15:07,681 --> 00:15:09,418 ♪ ♪ 373 00:15:09,519 --> 00:15:11,455 Hi, I'm Kat, Sheila Silver's daughter. 374 00:15:11,556 --> 00:15:15,864 And, Mother, just want you know how much you mean to me. 375 00:15:15,931 --> 00:15:17,233 Hit it, Max! 376 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,637 ♪ ♪ 377 00:15:18,737 --> 00:15:22,778 ♪ You and I must make a pact ♪ 378 00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,047 ♪ ♪ 379 00:15:24,114 --> 00:15:28,757 ♪ We must bring salvation back ♪ 380 00:15:28,824 --> 00:15:30,527 ♪ ♪ 381 00:15:30,627 --> 00:15:34,569 ♪ Where there is love ♪ 382 00:15:34,635 --> 00:15:36,438 ♪ I'll be there ♪ 383 00:15:36,506 --> 00:15:38,610 ♪ Unless you're not ♪ 384 00:15:38,677 --> 00:15:40,113 ♪ ♪ 385 00:15:40,146 --> 00:15:45,724 ♪ I'll reach out my hand to you ♪ 386 00:15:45,791 --> 00:15:50,667 ♪ Although you don't want me to ♪ 387 00:15:50,734 --> 00:15:52,538 ♪ ♪ 388 00:15:52,605 --> 00:15:55,911 ♪ Just sing the song ♪ 389 00:15:56,011 --> 00:15:57,781 ♪ I'll be there ♪ 390 00:15:57,882 --> 00:16:00,787 ♪ No, she won't ♪ 391 00:16:00,854 --> 00:16:02,490 ♪ ♪ 392 00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:07,935 ♪ You fill my heart with joy and laughter ♪ 393 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:12,477 ♪ Then you threw it in the trash compactor ♪ 394 00:16:12,511 --> 00:16:14,515 ♪ Ooh ♪ 395 00:16:14,615 --> 00:16:17,287 ♪ Just so you know ♪ 396 00:16:17,353 --> 00:16:19,324 ♪ I never liked Bridgerton ♪ 397 00:16:19,391 --> 00:16:21,495 (gasps) ♪ You take that back ♪ 398 00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:23,098 ♪ I won't ♪ 399 00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:26,606 Damn. I guess I never really listened to the lyrics. 400 00:16:26,673 --> 00:16:30,781 ♪ You're making this harder than it needs to be... ♪ 401 00:16:30,848 --> 00:16:32,150 (chuckles) No. 402 00:16:32,217 --> 00:16:33,653 You already slept with somebody 403 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,325 and it's only been two days? That is so tacky. 404 00:16:36,391 --> 00:16:38,964 Enough already. I slept at Darren's. 405 00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:40,333 Why didn't you just say that? 406 00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,571 And when the Duke told Daphne "I burn for you," 407 00:16:42,638 --> 00:16:43,807 you cried real tears! 408 00:16:43,874 --> 00:16:45,677 Why am I even defending myself to you? 409 00:16:45,744 --> 00:16:47,681 We're not together anymore. 410 00:16:47,748 --> 00:16:49,451 Damn it, Max! 411 00:16:49,519 --> 00:16:51,121 (hushed murmuring) 412 00:16:51,221 --> 00:16:52,558 What's happening? 413 00:16:52,625 --> 00:16:55,363 I'll tell you what's happening, this sucks. 414 00:16:55,429 --> 00:16:58,670 She said this song was about me. 415 00:17:02,377 --> 00:17:04,314 Um... 416 00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:06,953 Uh... 417 00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:08,188 Next up, 418 00:17:08,255 --> 00:17:10,226 a very special birthday video message 419 00:17:10,293 --> 00:17:12,397 from Ernie Hudson, the Black Ghostbuster. 420 00:17:12,463 --> 00:17:14,802 Gene, roll that tape, will you? 421 00:17:20,847 --> 00:17:22,150 Honey, are you okay? 422 00:17:22,283 --> 00:17:25,223 Yeah. I'm really sorry about your song. 423 00:17:25,289 --> 00:17:27,761 Oh, don't worry about that. 424 00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,333 I thought it was good. 425 00:17:30,433 --> 00:17:33,740 My video of it already has 47 likes. 426 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,811 I can't believe you guys broke up. 427 00:17:35,877 --> 00:17:37,815 -What happened? -It's complicated. 428 00:17:37,915 --> 00:17:39,719 I can't really get into it right now. 429 00:17:39,785 --> 00:17:43,727 Why didn't they just watch the last episode like you did? 430 00:17:43,827 --> 00:17:45,797 This sucks. 431 00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,068 Y'all were my relationship goals. 432 00:17:48,102 --> 00:17:49,404 What about me and Randi? 433 00:17:49,505 --> 00:17:52,410 Check back in when you learn how to communicate. 434 00:17:52,477 --> 00:17:54,649 (Sheila sobbing) 435 00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:56,586 Oh, don't worry, Mother. 436 00:17:56,653 --> 00:17:58,122 I'll be okay. 437 00:17:58,188 --> 00:18:01,161 I don't see how. 438 00:18:01,261 --> 00:18:04,434 Now you're going to die alone. 439 00:18:09,377 --> 00:18:12,216 Hey, baby, how you feeling? 440 00:18:12,283 --> 00:18:13,553 I was feeling better 441 00:18:13,620 --> 00:18:16,224 until I saw Darren's livestream of the party. 442 00:18:16,291 --> 00:18:18,262 Sheila demanded that I spank her. 443 00:18:18,329 --> 00:18:20,734 I mean, it was her birthday. I had no choice. 444 00:18:20,801 --> 00:18:23,005 No, Kat and Max breaking up. 445 00:18:23,072 --> 00:18:24,441 Yeah. 446 00:18:24,508 --> 00:18:26,278 That was sad. 447 00:18:26,345 --> 00:18:28,015 How'd it make you feel? 448 00:18:28,082 --> 00:18:29,819 We should communicate. 449 00:18:29,919 --> 00:18:31,388 What? 450 00:18:31,488 --> 00:18:33,192 Don't be mad. 451 00:18:33,292 --> 00:18:34,562 I looked at your wedding dress. 452 00:18:34,695 --> 00:18:35,463 What the hell?! 453 00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:36,833 You said you wouldn't be mad! 454 00:18:36,899 --> 00:18:37,701 No, I didn't. 455 00:18:37,801 --> 00:18:38,970 The point is I'm cursed. 456 00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:41,341 I mean, your food poisoning, the shelves, 457 00:18:41,408 --> 00:18:43,112 Mindy's date got grounded. 458 00:18:43,212 --> 00:18:44,949 Baby, you're not cursed. 459 00:18:45,049 --> 00:18:46,051 No, it's true. 460 00:18:46,118 --> 00:18:47,387 You need to just save yourself. 461 00:18:47,453 --> 00:18:49,424 -What are you talking about? -Mm-mm. 462 00:18:49,525 --> 00:18:52,731 Just walk away, but do it slow. 463 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:56,271 I need to see that thang thangin' one last time. 464 00:18:56,371 --> 00:18:58,610 I promise you're not cursed 465 00:18:58,710 --> 00:19:01,048 because it's not gonna be my wedding dress. 466 00:19:01,114 --> 00:19:02,250 What? 467 00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:03,319 Yeah, Aunt Dee got engaged again, 468 00:19:03,385 --> 00:19:04,789 so she wants her dress back. 469 00:19:04,855 --> 00:19:06,926 Should've seen it coming when she got that job 470 00:19:06,993 --> 00:19:08,228 at the nursing home. 471 00:19:08,295 --> 00:19:10,534 Then what caused all my bad luck? 472 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:11,736 Bad luck? 473 00:19:11,836 --> 00:19:13,238 Baby, you are marrying me. 474 00:19:13,339 --> 00:19:15,610 You have the best luck of anyone I know. 475 00:19:15,744 --> 00:19:17,981 Yeah, I am pretty lucky. 476 00:19:18,015 --> 00:19:19,250 (chuckling) 477 00:19:19,384 --> 00:19:20,987 And you lucky too, right? 478 00:19:21,054 --> 00:19:22,925 Sure. 479 00:19:30,406 --> 00:19:31,576 ♪ ♪ 480 00:19:31,642 --> 00:19:35,016 God, there you are. What was...? 481 00:19:35,116 --> 00:19:37,120 Oh. 482 00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:39,157 You're moving out now. 483 00:19:39,257 --> 00:19:40,660 Yep. Moving out. 484 00:19:40,794 --> 00:19:43,332 Also, microwaves cause water molecules in food to vibrate, 485 00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:45,804 producing heat that cooks the food. 486 00:19:45,904 --> 00:19:47,173 Just FYI. 487 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,344 If this is about the bed, 488 00:19:49,411 --> 00:19:50,614 you can sleep in the bed. 489 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,250 I'll be on the pull-out, see? Whoa. 490 00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:53,485 Sweet Ernie Hudson. 491 00:19:53,586 --> 00:19:55,590 Is there even a mattress in that thing? 492 00:19:55,724 --> 00:19:56,826 I got to go. 493 00:19:56,859 --> 00:19:59,532 But Max, I don't want you to leave like this. 494 00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:02,270 This feels like we're never gonna talk again. 495 00:20:02,403 --> 00:20:05,076 I just... I just can't keep doing this. 496 00:20:05,142 --> 00:20:07,948 That night on the roof, 497 00:20:08,015 --> 00:20:11,188 you promised I would never lose you. 498 00:20:12,023 --> 00:20:14,060 (sighs) 499 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,764 My key's on the counter. 500 00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:23,680 (door closes) 501 00:20:28,723 --> 00:20:31,394 He'll be back. That's his car key. 502 00:20:32,263 --> 00:20:34,735 ♪ Baby shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 503 00:20:34,835 --> 00:20:36,572 ♪ Baby shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 504 00:20:36,672 --> 00:20:38,610 ♪ Baby shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 505 00:20:38,710 --> 00:20:40,146 ♪ Baby shark ♪ 506 00:20:40,212 --> 00:20:42,684 ♪ Mommy shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 507 00:20:42,751 --> 00:20:45,156 ♪ Mommy shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 508 00:20:45,256 --> 00:20:47,795 ♪ Mommy shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 509 00:20:47,861 --> 00:20:49,330 ♪ Mommy shark ♪ 510 00:20:49,397 --> 00:20:51,368 ♪ Daddy shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 511 00:20:51,468 --> 00:20:53,272 ♪ Daddy shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 512 00:20:53,338 --> 00:20:55,811 ♪ Daddy shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 513 00:20:55,911 --> 00:20:57,346 ♪ Daddy shark ♪ 514 00:20:57,447 --> 00:20:59,284 ♪ Grandma shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 515 00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:01,589 ♪ Grandma shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 516 00:21:01,689 --> 00:21:03,793 ♪ Grandma shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 517 00:21:03,893 --> 00:21:05,496 ♪ Grandma shark. ♪ 518 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:07,433 Captioning sponsored by WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 519 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,239 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 35437

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