All language subtitles for Pretty.Baby.Brooke.Shields.S01E02.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[ Photographers shouting ]

♫♫

-The power of Hollywood
and that profession

really undid me at times.

They always had to knock me down
for something,

but then they always went,
"But she´s beautiful."

It wasn´t about me.

It´s just a projection on me,

what they wanted to hear and
what they wanted to make of it.

-If you look at the structure
of the media industries,

most of the people who call
the shots tend to be men.

They tend to be
straight, white men.

It´s very much
about a gender binary.

It´s very much about
what women need to do

in order to be desirable
to straight men.

-Gatekeeping is a major way

of how we keep girls
under control.

It is dependent upon girls
not having desires of their own.

-It´s just so interesting
how I accepted it for so long.

I was struggling
to find my own voice.

I said, "Yeah, Mom,
I have to go do this on my own.

If I´m going to fail,
I have to fail in my own."

♫♫

♫♫

-Now, tell me about the book
you´re writing.

You told me
you´re writing a book.

-It´s not quite
an autobiography or memoirs

´cause I haven´t been
around that long.

But it´s basically about

all the different parts
of my life --

you know, going to school.

Since I´ve just finished
my first year...

A publisher contacted
my mom and said,

"We want you to write a book."

And I was like,
"I am ready to write a book."

They said, "Well, you know,
it´s a guide

to other young people
going away to college."

And I was like,
"I´ve got this."

Had my whole plan.

And it started with the fear
of not getting in,

getting in, missing my mom,
being alone for the first time,

feeling pressured
about everything,

whether it was drugs
or sex or drinking.

You know,
how do you become independent?

I was really proud of it.

And they said,
"Well, we´re thinking

about this book differently."

They wrote what they wanted
as the first chapter,

and I kid you not,

it was like,
"I like leg warmers.

Being away from home,
there´s a lot of ways

you can eat different foods.

You can have a sundae
at midnight.

You can have a,
you know, pizza."

It was so inane.

It had nothing to do

with the gut-wrenching
feeling that I had

by going away to college.

You know, they just wanted
their narrative.

So I said,
"Make the book that you want."

And then when the book came out,

I thought,
just go along with it.

I think that I --
I don´t really know what I am

and who I want to be yet,
and this book

is the beginning of that
learning what I want to be.

The most personal and in depth
that it got

was the chapter on virginity,

which was actually
my mom´s idea.

I mean, I brought it up.

I´m not ashamed of it.
I really wasn´t.

But I thought,
well, you know, it´s true.

If I can help anybody
not feel pressured...

Same thing I tell my daughter.

Like, you don´t have to do
something

just because they want it.

Like, no.

Your body.
You don´t have to do it.

That was the approach I took.

Unless you go out there
and say it,

you know, you´re not gonna
get your truth, really.

I think there´s a great deal
of pressure on young girls,

young women, especially my age,
and nobody should do anything

that they don´t feel
comfortable about doing.

You know, why all of a sudden
does that mean

you´re boring
or you´re too squeaky clean

or, you know,
you´re a nerd or whatever?

It´s like, no, you actually
have ownership

over your health and your body.

That, to me was empowering.

But it was
the admission of virginity

that was really the first time,
you know, they pulled that out,

which is, I guess,
better than pulling out,

"I like leg warmers."
[ Laughs ]

-You talk about something
very personal in your book,

and it´s really
nobody´s business,

but you talk about it,
that at 20 years old,

you´re a virgin,
and you give tips in there,

in that sense,
how to remain a virgin.

-You feel strongly about
maintaining your virginity.

-[ Laughing ] I knew
it was gonna come to that.

That´s how it´s gonna go.
Here it comes!

You never know what people
are going to just attack

or want to know about,
and I was a bit surprised

because there wasn´t even
a whole chapter devoted to it.

-Like a page, right?
-Just a page.

A little page,
a little sentence.

"I am."

-Her name even sounds like
anti-sexual device.

[ Laughter ]

"Did you have fun on your date?"

"No, she was wearing
her Brooke Shield."

[ Laughter and applause ]

-I certainly remember

that microscopic obsession
with Brooke´s virginity.

With all the things
going on in the world,

I just remember thinking,
why is this such a big deal?

-The Soviet Union has suffered
one of the worst disasters

in the history of nuclear power.

-I have to get not nasty,
but I have to get personal,

ask you
the virginity question.

-I´m a little puzzled about
how these weapons

got to the military in Iran.

-The West Berliners
were determined.

The chant went up,
"Down with the wall."

-Brooke says
she wants to remain a virgin

until she finds
someone she loves.

-Ethiopia´s
7 1/2 million famine victims.

-When it comes to drugs
and alcohol,

just say no.

-1980s America --
there was a whole movement

of "just say no" and abstinence.

And I think Brooke became

an unwitting tool, or pawn,
of that,

the Virgin vessel for America.

People wanted to reclaim
the pureness of Brooke

in a way that I just thought,

wow, that puts so much pressure
on somebody.

-She´s like a role model.
Yeah, she´s got good morals.

She´s, um -- I don´t know.

She´s just a good person inside.
It come through in her eyes.

-She feels like she´s
more innocent

than other girls, you know?

-I wasn´t a hypocrite.

I wasn´t doing
any of this stuff.

But there was
a huge responsibility

to be the representative
of that whole era.

And that was just
sort of placed on me.

-She can´t live
in the space in between,

because people don´t know
what to do with that.

Either you´re a virgin
and you´re a prude,

or you´re a slut
and you´re doing too much.

There´s no third option where
maybe you´re both,

or neither, even.

You have to have
one or the other.

And so all that
is still present.

I don´t see how any of that
has changed [laughs]

in the last 40 years.

-I think that girls
and young women today

are in really
an impossible double bind,

you know, where they´re told

that they need
to express themselves

and present themselves
in very sexualized ways,

but then they´re blamed
for anything that happens.

-I honestly have been
just so surprised

at how entrenched this is still.

Brooke´s experience
and the ways in which

she had to be in the world --

none of those roles included
her own desire

as a sexual person with agency,

with subjectivity.

-It was always the men
that would say something,

and you knew
that it somehow trigger

something in them as well.

-How do you think
people perceive you?

Are you a goody-goody?

-I don´t -- no.
I don´t think I am.

-Are you dating anybody?
What´s the...

-No, I´m not actually.
[ Chuckles ]

-Everybody,
every time I say that --

-That what I want to know.
-[ Laughs ]

-I think that it was a relief
that she actually was a virgin

because that meant
that the terrible transgressions

of the earlier movies --
oh, they weren´t really true.

-Everybody wanted to untap this,
you know --

this well that was just
gonna spring forth.

You know, all these things
were just swirling around.

Everybody was trying to...

hook me up with
the most eligible bachelor.

♫ What do I think about men? ♫

♫ Oh, men are dreamy,
men are sweet ♫

♫ They´re really knock me
off my feet ♫

-She lived most of her life
in public, and,

"Oh, my God. Who is
Brooke Shields dating now?"

-♫ Men, men, men, men ♫

-It´s hard enough
being a teenager

without having that pressure.

It was brutal and the media
was just cranking up.

And now we´re
getting opinions and --

and, of course, she was standing
next to the Mr. Media himself,

Michael Jackson.

-You have a crush
on Michael Jackson.

-Michael Jackson and you.
-Yes.

-Are you just friends or has
there been a romance there?

-The world was going back
and forth on whether or not

Brooke was dating
Michael Jackson or not dating.

And, you know.

my mother had opinions
about that.

[ Laughs ]

It was that whole thing
of Brooke being privileged

and also being white

and also stepping into
the inner sanctum of Blackness

because of Michael Jackson.

[ Crowd shouting and cheering ]

-It was such a huge topic
of conversation

in the Black community.

-Man, white people going,

[nasally voice] "That Michael´s
a special kind of guy.

He´s special.

I mean, he´s good,
clean, and wholesome."

Y´all believe it. You know how
I know y´all believed it?

Y´all didn´t get mad
when he took Brooke Shields

to the Grammys.

Nobody white said shit.

And Brooke Shields is
the whitest woman in America.

That´s Miss America every year
is Brooke --

fuck who you see with the crown.

Brooke -- you look up
white woman in dictionary,

it´ll be a picture of Brooke
like this.

[ Laughter and applause ]

-We met when I was 13,

and we, like, hung out.

It was very childlike.

And we´d just laugh

and kind of the ridiculousness
of being in the car

and having people rock the car
and be insane and...

[ Crowd shouting "Michael!" ]

...we both were

quite juvenile in some ways

and quite mature
and experienced in others.

So we were just really friends.

But he always wanted
to be sort of seen with me.

Like, if we would
pick a restaurant,

I was like, "Well, how did
they know we were here?"

-Um, hello, Brooke.
I´m working on my album.

I just wanted to say hello

and I hope
I get to see you soon.

Just a brief message on video.

Goodbye.

-And then at one point he said

"We should adopt a child.

We should adopt a child
and raise a child together."

-Who do you date?

-Well, right now
it´s Brooke Shields.

-Mm-hmm.

-That´s -- I don´t --
Well, we try not

to just be everywhere
and go everywhere...

-I called them and I said,
"What are you doing?"

I said,
"I´m actually currently

with a boyfriend
in New York City.

What are you doing?"

-And she´ll come over,
I´ll go to her house,

´cause I don´t like going out
into public.

-And eventually I sort of
lost touch with him.

-Is there anybody special
in Brooke Shields´ life

at the moment?

-Actually, there is.
And he´s with me today.

-Well, that´s great.
I mean, is he real special?

-He´s real special, yeah.
-Is he right over there?

-Yeah, come here.
[ Laughs ]

Just say hi
to everybody.

-Hi, everybody.

-Well, why don´t you
introduce him?

-His name´s Dean Cain.
He´s, um --

He goes to Princeton.

-I wanted to jump into
the personal relationship

and the love and the commitment.

You know, the part
he was more comfortable with

is probably the sexual part,
and I wasn´t.

So we had to teach each other
about the other.

You know, he was the first
person I trusted with all of it.

But I never celebrated
our attraction to each other.

I never reveled
in the sexual relationship

between the two of us.

I mean, I had built up
so much around this.

The stakes were
so unnaturally high

that I´m surprised he even
went through with any of it.

When we finally had sex...

[ Chuckles ]

...I immediately

ran out of the room,
ran down the hall,

butt-naked,
[laughs] just running.

I didn´t know where
it was going.

[ Laughing ] And he ran after me
with the duvet

and grabbed a hold of me
and said,

"Where are you going?"

He goes,
"I´m not going anywhere.

I´m not leaving you.
You´re the same person."

He got it instantly,
and I just cried.

Well, I feel bad
for that girl, you know.

She was old enough
to own her own body for real

and, you know, just...

and just couldn´t get there
at that moment, you know?

What it boils down to

is sort of a regret
for lost exploration

and opportunity to understand
my personal sexuality.

-Brains you´re born with.

A great body you have to work at
every day.

You have to stretch it
to the limit.

I thought I was gonna graduate

and I was gonna go right back
into a movie a year,

and I thought, yeah, it was just
going to be great, you know?

And it was just like,
"I´m sorry, I´m sorry.

Um, Brooke with an ´e´?"

So get smart.
Join Rockford Health Club today

and get 50% off dues.

I went into college very famous.

Hadn´t done a movie
in a really long time.

I didn´t assume it would be
a detriment to my career.

-Don´t mind me asking,
but why --

I mean, your work --
I mean, what do you, uh --

-After four years
of Princeton,

my professor suggested
I seek higher goals.

-Now, you did drop out for
about four years, didn´t you?

-I did.
Actually, I --

I almost didn´t even think of it
as dropping out.

What I --
I went to college and...

It wasn´t like Paramount was
waiting for me

and calling for me,
and Columbia wasn´t going,

"Well, we have to have Brooke."

You know, at that point,
there was

so many other actresses
that had come

just in those four years.

And so my mom and I were like,

"Well, we better get a movie
in this period of time

so it comes out
when you graduate."

And it just sort of flopped.

[ Indistinct shouting
in distance ]

So, okay, let´s try to find
things, like find commercials.

Go do a commercial in Japan,
you know?

[ Upbeat music playing ]

♫♫

The hair dryers and stuff --
they´ll do something with you.

We have a filter that is
removable and you can clean it,

which increases the longevity
of a product.

Arrid fights wetness ordinary
deodorant sticks can´t.

[ Man speaks Japanese ]

It moves me!

[ Man speaks Japanese ]

What if I told you
Forever Sheer pantyhose

come in great shades
for daytime, like these?

Mmm.

Satisfying.

And it´s healthy for you, too.

-She knows that she´s gotta
keep trying things.

Like, "How am I going to
get out there again?

Or what do I need to do?"

When you´re in the public eye,
there´s pressure.

-Could you put
into words now what you hope

To do with your career
at this point?

-Does it ever worry that
you may have peaked already,

that you´ve already had
the best of your career?

-Do you think Hollywood
takes you seriously?

-I think that Hollywood,

or the entertainment industry,

hasn´t seen my potential yet
as an actress.

Creatively,
now I´m in much more pain,

in a way, artistic pain,
if I can be so sort of

pretentious about it.

It was a really scary,
rough period of rejection.

And to kind of go that high
that fast

and then just nothing --

it was so difficult
on so many levels.

And I kept thinking I might

get approval of some kind

in a world that I dreamt about
my whole life.

I let myself be vulnerable.

And this is the first time

I´ve ever spoken
about what happened.

I had heard that there was
a movie being made

and I was in consideration,

and it was the first
since college

that any interest
was sort of expressed.

We had a dinner, and I thought
it was a work meeting.

I had met this person before

and was always --
he was always nice to me.

But then the person´s behavior
was changing,

and I was like, oh, nobody --

there was no talk
about the movie.

No talk about a part
in the movie.

No talk about anything.

And I was like,
"I don´t think that was it.

I don´t understand,"
and so I said,

"Oh, I have to get a cab."

And so he said,
"Come back to the hotel

and I´ll call a cab."

And I go up to the hotel room
and he disappears for a while.

I don´t want to go over to the
phone because it´s not my phone.

I don´t want to sit down
´cause I´m not staying.

And so I thought,
Ah, I´m gonna use the binoculars

and bide my time,
so I look at the binoculars.

I watch the volleyball players.

And the door opens.

The person comes out naked,

and I´ve got the binoculars.

And I´m like, "Shit!"

And I put the binoculars down.
He was right on me.

It was a --
this, like, wrestle --

this, like, was wrestling.

You know, I didn´t want to.
I was afraid I´d...

get choked out or something or,
like, I didn´t --

you know, I didn´t know.

You know, I played the scene
out in my head, you know,

the run away and the pull back
and the beat the shit out of.

And I was just like,
"Oh! No.

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope."

♫♫

So I didn´t fight that much.

I didn´t.

I just absolutely froze.

I thought my one "no"
should have been enough.

And I just thought,
stay alive and get out.

And I...just, "voomp,"
just shut it out.

And God knows I knew how to be
disassociated from my body.

I had practiced that.

And then the next thing is
the door´s open

and the person says,
"Well, I´ll see you around."

No clothes on.
And I was like...

And I just said, "Yeah."

And I walked out
and I went down in the elevator

and I just got my own cab.

And I just I cried all the way
to my friend´s apartment

and I, you know,
went to Gavin and told Gavin,

and he said, "That´s rape."

And I said,
"I´m not willing to...

believe that."

-Well, I was on the phone
the first time,

but then we talked about it
again in person.

How I felt was...

...literally physical pain
in my stomach.

I had...

invested so much of my life in

literally protecting Brooke,
and then...

loving her as I do,
I was...

angry to hear her story.

I was very, very sad.

I´m very, very sad about it now.

You know,
that´s my little sister.

[ Chuckles and clears throat ]

And I wanted her to know
she didn´t do anything wrong.

And I hope she does now.
I think she does.

[ Sniffles ]

-The thing that I think
I´m the most...

...ashamed of or, you know,
whatever it is,

is that there was
part of me that felt,

"Cool."

-Oh, God, Brooke.

-Because I thought,

oh, maybe this is --
this is the validation.

But it´s like,
it was like,

that was what I had
to do to my brain to --

and he even said to me,
you know, "I can trust you

when I can´t trust people."
-Oh, God.

And I was like --
it´s, like, it´s so cliché,

it´s practically pathetic.

-No, it´s predator talk.
I mean, I don´t...

-I believed somehow
I put out a message,

and that was how
the message was received.

I drank wine at dinner.

I, you know --
I went up to the room.

I just was so trusting.

-She was really
turning it inward.

You carry around this kind of
experience of victimization,

and you drag around
your responsibility for it

inaccurately.

This is an adult
who knew what he was doing,

was genuinely responsible,
genuinely culpable.

And -- And she wasn´t, period.

She was crying.

There´s no way that
that can be misinterpreted.

That is not somebody
who´s looking for --

for a sexual experience.

-I wrote a letter.

I said, you know,
"That was a huge trust

that was just blown up

and disintegrated and destroyed.

And how dare you?

And, you know,
I´m better than that.

I´m better than you are,
actually."

You know, that´s the way
I dealt with things.

It was met
with such dismissive --

It was so dismissed

that I just threw my hands up
and I thought,

You know what?
I´m not --

I refuse to be a victim

because this is something
that happens

no matter who you are

and no matter what you think
you´re prepared for or not.

I wanted to erase the whole
thing from my mind and body

and just keep on the path
that I was on.

And the system had never once

come to help me, you know?

So I just had to get stronger
on my own, you know?

[ Propeller whirring ]

-I was doing a movie in Africa.

And I was there
for a good part of it by myself.

Where´s the mother?
-She´d be out hunting.

-But then a friend said to me,

"You know, we´re really
good friends with this guy,

this tennis player.

You guys are very --

There´s something
very similar about you."

I took a Jeep up
to this little spot

where we had one radio tower
and they had a fax machine.

We started faxing

back and forth to each other,
these long letters.

-[ Grunts ]
-Game!

[ Crowd cheering ]

-Total shock and disbelief.

22-year-old Andre Agassi
in tears.

Has won Wimbledon.

[ Cheers and applause ]

-We talked so openly
about our fears

and about being public figures.

We talked about our childhood.

-Andre, how do you like
the game of tennis?

-Fine.

-We had these kind of
intense relationships

with these maternal
and paternal figures.

And he was just so open
and honest and funny.

[ Cheers and applause ]

By the time
I went to California,

we were on this path
of falling in love

in a very chaste sort of way.

♫♫

♫♫

-It was such a, like,
quick romance.

They just hit it off.

[ Cheers and applause ]

-I loved that
I didn´t have to be

the biggest thing in the room.

-Australian Open,
Wimbledon.

-Yeah.
-On top of the TV set.

Yeah, just, you know, in a place
that I can see it every day.

Really, you know?
[ Telephone rings ]

There´s the phone.
This phone rings not too often.

[ Laughs ]

Can I call you later?

Okay.
Yeah, I got your number.

[ Laughs ]

All right. I love you.
Bye.

[ Telephone beeps ]

Um...

-Who was that?
-That was Brooke.

-I´ve learned a lot
from him about commitment,

about following through
on your own,

with a lack of using
a tennis term,

but on what you believe in.

He asked me, "Do you seriously
want to be an actress?

´Cause if you do,
why aren´t you doing it?

You´re waiting for something
that´s not happening.

Get an agent.

Start at ground zero
and start up again."

I knew my mom had no intention
of stopping drinking.

-Wow!

-The alcohol
was ruining her brain.

I think she had had
a couple of mini strokes,

and she was starting to, like,
be found in the next state over.

Well, she was gonna
self-destruct.

I was trying to systematically
take control of everything

in a very fair, kind way,

and she wasn´t hearing it.

So I was like, "Okay,
this is gonna be

probably the most violent thing
you´ve ever done."

And it was.

My mom and I had
an office building.

It had all my archives.

It had everything
I´ve ever done.

Andre´s manager and I
organized a team,

and they went into the office
and they gutted it,

and we shipped it out to Vegas.

She went in on a Monday morning
and the place was just hollow.

It was just echoing and nothing.

Even the stuff
that was hers was there.

What she must have felt

walking in their room
to an empty,

echoing four-story building...

She disappeared
for a couple of days,

wouldn´t talk to me, wouldn´t
answer the phone, nothing.

I couldn´t find her.

And, you know, I went through
all the local police

and everybody,
and eventually she surfaced.

She just couldn´t believe,
you know,

"How could you do that to me?
How could you?"

And I said, "I´m just so sorry.

I didn´t know any other way."

I just went under
his whole umbrella,

and everything just got
swept up into it.

She couldn´t believe
that these entities,

these men, you know,
undid everything,

you know,
and that I went along with it.

She was completely broken.

She even talked about it
publicly.

She never forgave me for that.

-I´m the best judge of Brooke.

And I think the people
who are handling her now

cannot be as qualified as I

because they´ve not lived
with her as long as I have.

-Teri couldn´t see that

somebody else would help Brooke,

but talk about
taking care of somebody.

He really did take care of her,
almost in a fatherly way.

♫♫

-It´s not much surprise
that Brooke

moved from a very controlling
circumstance with her mother

to another person
who was very controlling.

And that´s sometimes how you
get out of one relationship

is you get into another one
that answers all the questions

and takes care of everything.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♫♫

-Tonight, I´m going to start
my life over.

Andre, you´ve made my life
come more to life

than I could have
ever dreamt of.

And I love you
with all my heart.

[ Applause ]

Something in me knew
that I wouldn´t be able

to separate from my mother

without somebody like Andre.

♫♫

I remember after the wedding,
we...

we all went to the airport.

They were flying away,

and I went to say goodbye
to Brooke.

Everybody on the plane
was somebody in Andre´s world,

and she´d moved
into Andre´s world.

She really went off into,
you know, something else.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

-I got an agent,

and I was ready
to start up again.

Do I have anything
in there or...

-Just mail back here.
-Yeah? Okay.

Odd.

-It´s on the fire hose.
-It´s on the fire hose.

I have my own fire hose.

Okay.

Alright.

I got cast on Broadway
in "Grease."

-Grease is the word after
her Broadway debut last night.

Brooke is back and tennis star
Andre Agassi is with her

every step of the way.

[ Telephone rings ]

-Excuse me.

[ Laughing ] Hello?

She´s no longer in the show.

This is my dressing room now.

[ Laughing ]
That´s okay.

But you should really come
and see me in the show.

I do a different Rizzo,
but it´s -- it´s great.

Broadway was such
a new medium for me,

and I really had to dig deep.

-♫ She´s gonna be a celebrity ♫

-♫ That means
somebody everyone knows ♫

-When she joined our company,
I was a little skeptical.

-Yes, oh, yes, we both, oh, yes,
we both, oh, yes, we both...

-And then she did
some physical-comedy stuff.

It was hilarious.

The respect level from
the company was, like, up here

because we were watching her
and we were like,

"Oh, she´s got this.
She´s worked for this."

-People did say to my face,

"I really thought you were
gonna suck, but you´re good!"

[ Laughs ] And you´re just like,
"I´ll take it.

Thank you very much
for that generous compliment."

-♫ Come on, Jackson,
you´re gettin´ hip ♫

-More people started
asking me to do comedy.

-Oh, my favorite dish!

I always wanted to do it.

It just never seemed
an option for me.

It started with --
with "Friends."

-Hello.
-It´s Erika.

-Oh, my God.
The stalker.

-They said, "We´re doing
a Super Bowl episode,

and they want you to play
Joey´s psycho girlfriend."

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

Hi.

-Erika.

[ Laughter ]

-We did the scene
where I´m sitting with Joey

and I do this crazy laugh
where I throw my head back

and then I just
get serious again.

Marta Kauffman said,
"Brooke, it´s too much.

The stakes are too high.
It makes you look too crazy."

And -- and I said,
"Yeah, but she´s like,

really pretty,
so she should be really crazy."

When it came time to film
in front of an audience,

we do the first take,

and all of a sudden
from across the stage I hear,

"Shields, put it back in!"

Let me see those hands.

Oh, these hands,
these beautiful hands.

[ Laughs ]
Oh, I could just eat them.

But I won´t.

-Otherwise, my watch
would fell off.

-[ Laughs hysterically ]

No, seriously.

These hands...

Andre 1,000% supported.

He read the script.
He knew what part I was playing.

He knew that I was
a crazy person

who just is obsessed with Joey.

-All right?
[ Chuckles nervously ]

-So I went for it,
and I just start, like,

licking his fingers
and, you know,

just, like, devouring
these surgeon hands.

-You´re good at that.

-I get back
to the dressing room.

Andre had stormed out,
and he said,

"Everybody´s making fun of me
in there.

You made a fool of me.
How dare you?"

You know,
"You´re my girlfriend,

and now you´re sticking
your tongue all over everybody."

And I was just like,
"Y-You read the script.

It wasn´t real."

He drove home.

And he destroyed

every single one
of his trophies,

like, smashed Wimbledon,

smashed French Open.

-And he´s the number-one
tennis player in the world.

He´s just signed
a $150 million contract.

He´s got
his own private jet.

He has you
as his girlfriend.

What´s not
to feel good about?

-But unless you have
a real sense

of your belief in yourself
deserving those things,

then they become
very relative.

I thought,
he´s an intense personality.

And yet because I was so used to
growing up with an alcoholic

whose moods would change,
the erratic behavior didn´t --

I didn´t know what was going on.

I mean, we hardly ever
spoke about it again.

A few years later,
we got a divorce.

We should have
just been friends.

I don´t think we should have
ever been husband and wife.

We weren´t meant
to be each other´s

lifelong partner or parents
of children, you know?

♫♫

-What is the most coveted time
period in all of television?

Thursday night at 9:30
on NBC.

-I got a call from my agent
and they said,

"How would you like
doing your own show?"

-And the winner is...

Brooke Shields
in "Suddenly Susan."

-This fall, Brooke Shields

as you´ve never seen her before.

-One of the surprise stories
in TV this season

is the reemergence
of Brooke Shields.

-What I liked
about "Suddenly Susan"

is that it was the story
of this icon

becoming this different person.

She, in a way, created
a counter plot.

-Check it out. I just got
the new Duran Duran album.

-Radical! Can I see?

-Yeah, sure.
It´s in my locker.

-Excellent.

You know who goes from
"Blue Lagoon" and "Endless Love"

and then wants
to be in a sitcom?

-There´s a whole thing
in the entertainment industry,

which is women can´t be
pretty and funny.

You can´t be on the cover
of magazines and be gorgeous

and also go be a comedian.

Pick a lane, bitch.

-♫ Everybody wants a girl
like Susan ♫

-The camaraderie with the cast

was so energizing.

"Suddenly Susan"
was the first time

I ever felt fully, fully, fully,
fully where I was meant to be.

You don´t know me as well
as you think you do.

-[ Chuckles ] I knew you were
gonna say that.

-You know I was gonna do that?
Huh?

How about that?!
Huh?

-Aah! Wait till I figure out
how to get out of this thing.

-I read the pilot
to play her boss,

and he was very weird,
and I liked it.

No question,
it´s Brooke Shields´ show.

This has everything
going for it.

-Shoulder bump
and shoulder bump

and pivot one, pivot two,

How badly do you want it?!

-I want it!

-It wasn´t like
she became funny. No.

That was always there.
We just didn´t get to see it.

-The physical comedy,
the throwing yourself into it,

was such a catharsis for me.

Somebody cut!

This award --

it represents the essence
of why we do what we do.

Network executives
are just saying,

"Well, we´ve got her,
so that´s good.

So just keep writing the same
show and keep, you know --

have a trip
and fall each episode,

and that´ll be enough."

[ Laughter ]

I was like, "You guys, I´m not
above falling off things.

It´s always funny,

but there´s got to be
more to the comedy here.

If you just use me
in this one way,

we´ll be gone
as quickly as as we got here."

I got a job in New York
so that we could be together.

It was supposed to be
a surprise.

And eventually
the show got canceled,

but it didn´t hinder
my confidence.

I think I did set out to say,

"You all think I can´t do this,
but just watch me."

And I think the same thing was
happening in college as well.

You know, "She´s not gonna
be serious.

She´s not gonna be that bright."

But I thought, you know what?

I´m just gonna
not only surprise them,

but I´m gonna surprise myself

because
whatever I think I can do,

I´m gonna push to be better
in everything.

That I met Chris,
who was the first person

that...

I could be
all of those things with.

-How´d you meet?

-He was writing
a Christmas special

that I was hosting.

-You like him right away?
-Right away.

He´s very down to earth.

-He was not intimidated?

-I think he focuses on
my more dorky side.

Chris saw my comedy, and that
was sort of how we met.

It was a very difficult time

coming out of a divorce.

My dad got diagnosed
with cancer.

And here was this
just normal guy, like --

you know, I mean,
I had a big, big life.

He just wasn´t fazed.

He wasn´t fazed by my mother.
He wasn´t fazed by my father.

And he made me just feel
worth all of it.

-The second marriage was
the more mature Brooke

deciding what her life
should look like.

She had a much stronger sense
of being on her own.

-Let me see your tattoo,
Christopher.

-It´s right there.

You might have to use
a wide-angle lens

´cause the guns!

-We´re gonna watch this later.
It´s going to be --

-In you´re gonna laugh
because it´s done...

-Porn.
-...really nicely done.

It´s tasteful.

-[ Laughs ]
It´s tasteful.

Dad, put your arm around Mom
for just a second.

Just to -- a bit of a fantasy
of mine come true.

This one fantasy of mine
come true in my life.

Yes, there it is.
There we go.

[ Guitar playing ]

-♫ Well, let´s give
your heart to me ♫

♫ Let´s bring heaven down here ♫

♫ Let´s bring, yes, heaven ♫

♫ Oh, down ♫

♫ I don´t want to wait
for the angels ♫

-Brooke and Chris,

I now pronounce
you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

[ Applause ]

-What do you want to be
when you grow up?

-Well, I want to be a mother.

I mean,
I want to continue acting,

but I also would like
to be a mother,

´cause I love kids.

♫♫

I loved babies
since I was a baby.

I wanted to babysit
before I was old enough.

The only thing that I knew
for sure

was that I wanted to have kids.

And we tried,

and nothing was happening.

I started doing IVF early,
as quickly as I could,

and then when it wasn´t working,

I started going into this,
"I´m being punished" part.

I was like,
"Something´s wrong with me.

Oh, my God.
I´m not meant to be a mother.

How could this be?

I´ve had too much
that´s good in my life."

And he was like, "Stop.

You don´t have to
do that anymore.

You´re not being punished
for anything.

That´s not the way
the world works.

And, you know, snap out of it."
[ Chuckles ]

First time, after all the drugs,
I get pregnant.

Three months later,
I lose that baby.

And he was like,
"We´re gonna wait

till we can do it again,
and we´re gonna do it again."

On the seventh transfer,

I got pregnant

and that was Rowan.

It´s like one of the first times
I really looked at myself.

And I looked at this body,
and it was growing

and it had life in it,

and I was sort of fuller
and flushed,

and I just thought,
I feel sexier than ever,

because it wasn´t just about me.

You know, it was about
this little person.

There was a radiance to that.

And that was one
of the first times

I was like,
"I feel really good."

I had this just vision
of how I wanted to,

you know, scream and sweat,
you know,

they put the baby on your chest
and everything is good.

-24 hours of labor.

-You´re a little stubborn.

-[ Laughs ] Little...
-Just a little stubborn.

You´re a little Taurus.

And the cervix didn´t cooperate.

So we´re gonna take you out

so you can
meet your mom and dad

[cries] soon.

-We´ll see you soon.

-It went from, "We´re gonna
really try to give you

the experience you want"

to emergency C-section

to so much blood loss to...

"You´re not gonna
live through this."

I labored for 24 hours,

and finally Rowan was born.

And everybody
was rejoicing around me.

-Here she had this baby,
and it was so exciting.

But it was pretty clear
not long after they went home

that something was a little off.

-They thought it was
the baby blues.

They all thought,
oh, all the moms cry

and all the moms are exhausted.

I just got back
to our apartment,

and I just gave Chris the baby,

and I left.

I just went to bed, and then
I started taking long showers

and it wouldn´t, you know --
I wouldn´t see anybody.

I wouldn´t talk to anybody.
I wouldn´t -- I just cried.

-After she had Rowan,
she kept asking me, like,

"Did you feel this?"

And, "How come I don´t want
to hold her?

Did you ever feel that,

you know, you just didn´t
want to be around your kids?"

And after a while I said,
"You know, this is not normal."

-That turned into, "Oh, my God.

All of these violent things
are gonna happen to her."

[ Voice breaking ] And I would
see her little body...

I would see her little body
just...

her, like, hurled at the wall

and just lie down, slumped down.

And I wasn´t throwing her.

You know, I wasn´t the one,
but I was...

"What kind of a mother
has these thoughts?

I´m supposed to want to live,
breathe, sleep with her."

I was -- I was a monster.
I was just, I was --

passed by things like the block
with all the knives,

and you´re like,
"That could slice into her

helpless, little,
can´t-even-talk-yet body and --"

Like, it was -- it was --

I thought I was going
truly insane.

-She wasn´t, though,
talking about it immediately.

And she put so much pressure
on herself to be perfect

that she wasn´t meeting
her expectations

for what she should feel like

and how she should know
how to do everything.

-Nobody understood me,

and my husband was just
so at a loss, you know,

and he said,
"I went to go see other mothers

buying things for their kids,

and they were all humming
and singing

and holding their babies
and loving on them."

And he was like,
"Why don´t you sing to her?"

And I was like,
"I -- she doesn´t need me.

She doesn´t need me."

Finally,
someone who´s a doula said,

"I think she has postpartum."

And, you know,
would I take some medication?

-Getting the outside help
she needed

was really important for her
to understand that it´s okay.

Like, you don´t have
to be perfect.

You´ll get through
to the other side.

-I started seeing
a postpartum therapist.

Over the course
of the next few months,

I sort of started coming
to my senses

and being much more present
in the room.

I was working with an agent
at the time, and he said,

"You know, if you´re --
you should tell your story.

You know, you should..."

And I said,
"Nobody´s gonna want to hear

a celebrity on a soapbox.

You know, ´I have everything
and I get the baby of my dreams

and I´m sad,´ you know?"

He said,
"You´ve been through that,

and you could help people."

-Brooke has written a new book
called "Down Came the Rain:

My Journey Through
Postpartum Depression."

-I decided to talk about
the experience publicly

because I was made to feel
that somehow I was --

the fault was with me

and that it really
wasn´t that common,

´cause nobody
was talking about it.

I thought I was going to
look at her and I thought

I was going to see my soul
in her eyes.

And you were gonna
look at your baby --

-Everything that everybody
ever says --

"It´s the most amazing moment
of your life, and oh, my God."

-I don´t know how many people
are really telling the truth,

´cause I --
[ Laughter ]

I think it gave
people permission

to feel these things
and get help.

-She talked so publicly
about something

that had been really dismissed
by some people,

not recognized, not understood.

And she brought it
much more out into the open,

really demystified it
in some ways.

-You write that, "He was holding
our little girl.

Chris looked optimistic
and peaceful.

Wasn´t he lucky?
I was bleeding buckets

and he was holding on
tightly

to a perfect,
frowning angel baby.

I stared at this
glowing father-child image

and was bombarded with feelings
of jealousy,

fear, and rage."

-There is a myth around

the ease with which
birthing a child

and falling in love
with your child

and being maternal
naturally to your child

that came out of your body.

And it´s really
a frightening thing

to have the picture
look different.

-This reverts to the mommy myth

that every mother is inherently
a naturally, you know --

a committed, dedicated,
you know, adoring,

and, you know,
accomplished mother

and loves every minute of it.

And, of course,
this isn´t true for anyone.

And I think when someone like
Brooke Shields comes out

and talks about it,
it makes a difference.

-And it wasn´t just about,
you know,

wallowing in
her own self experience.

You know, she did it to...

...to let people feel okay.

You know, and then that sort of
became hijacked from her.

-There is no such thing
as a chemical imbalance.

-Tom Cruise denounced her
on the "Today" show.

-The thing that I´m saying
about Brooke

is that there´s
misinformation, okay?

And she doesn´t understand
the history of psychiatry.

She doesn´t understand,
in the same way

that you don´t
understand it, Matt.

-Well, if anti-depressants
work for Brooke Shields,

why isn´t that okay?

-I disagree with it.

-You´re attacked by
one of the most powerful

male movie stars in the world.

You´re attacked
for seeing a psychiatrist,

for taking meds.

-She doesn´t know
what these drugs are.

And for her to promote it
is irresponsible.

-Tom Cruise taking a position
of authority like that --

it´s a risk.

And, boy, oh, boy,
Brooke responded to that.

-And then what does she do?

She writes a very serious
op-ed piece

in "The New York Times."

This was a very sober, rational,

thoughtful,
and informative piece.

It was brilliant.

-In "The New York Times,"

responding to this accusation
of basically bad parenting

being a bad mom,

echoes of the past.

Brooke just stated her case.

That´s a girl with a big brain.

She not just has a big brain
´cause she´s six feet tall.

She´s got a big brain.

-"To suggest that I should have
taken vitamins

and exercised shows an utter
lack of understanding

about postpartum depression,"
Shields shot back.

Today, doctors overwhelmingly
say Cruise,

who insists he´s read
all the research,

is misinformed.

-Do you think that
if you had just done

exercise and vitamins,
you could have gotten better?

[ Laughter ]

-I --
-Why y´all laughing?

[ Laughter ]

-And it was so ridiculous to me.

It´s not about the moral thing

or the right thing
or the good thing.

It´s about who has more power.

-Her remark that he should stick
to fighting aliens --

that was a fascinating display
of her new persona.

Not a sex symbol,
but a morally courageous person.

-Tom Cruise told actress
Brooke Shields this week

that he is sorry for publicly
criticizing her last year.

-After Brooke´s
appearance on the show,

we received letters
from women all over the world

who said Brooke´s courage
changed their lives.

-I understand with the road
to the worst could feel like,

and so now I´m --
I´m so much more educated

on myself and my body.

More people started
talking about it.

You know, we were able to change
some legislation.

-Just two days
before Mother´s Day,

the Senate including legislation

for new research
into postpartum depression.

Actress Brooke Shields on hand
to help introduce the measure.

-And the knowledge
of postpartum

is a tool that I believe
all women deserve.

-The MOTHERS Act
is also expected

to help doctors discover
new treatment

for women suffering
from the illness.

-That kind of changed
everything for me.

Are you so cozy?

-Yeah.
-Ah!

-Can you count?

-Yeah.
-Okay, count.

-One.
-Mm-hmm.

-Two.
-Mm-hmm.

And then when my second child,
Grier, was born,

I was so much more prepared.

-Eight, nine, and ten!

-Ooh! [ Laughs ]

♫♫

When I was born,
my mother, I mean --

she was so afraid
I was gonna die,

she slept with me
strapped to her chest.

She tried to keep me there
basically

for the rest of my life.

It got a little awkward

as I got bigger, you know?

But there was that feeling
that I was so afraid

that she would be gone
from me, too.

In the later years of her life,
she was just acting differently.

I took her to get evaluated.

The doctor took me aside
and said,

"She´s -- she really has
early signs of,

you know, dementia,
but it could be rapid."

So that´s when we, you know,
found a facility for her.

But I said, "I love you.

I will come at any moment
here in the middle of the night.

They´ll call me."

I didn´t know what else to say.

There was never a goodbye.

There was never a,
"I´ve always loved you.

Thank you,"
or, "You´ve been a great mom."

And when she died,
there´s no real kind of closure

or anything beautiful about it.

But I sort of had said
goodbye a long time ago.

♫♫

I used to believe that
if my mother died, I would die.

And it wasn´t going to be until
she didn´t exist on this Earth

that I would truly
then would be on my own.

And there´s a -- there is
some truth to that, you know,

some archetypal truth,
I think, for me, anyway.

-She´s grown up.

And it´s hard for me
to understand that

because we were so close.

And to have been able
to turn around and realize

that she´s her own person

and do the things
she wants to do independently,

and I´m very proud of her
for that.

-You raise your kids
to let them fly.

My flying was the thing
that most terrified her.

And then she was gone.

♫♫

Hmm. This is me thinking.

Hmm.
This is a sign of thinking.

Hmm. Hmm.

[ Laughs ]

Look, I´m dancing with life.

Wait a minute.
I´m also serious.

Look at me.
This is me as a businesswoman.

This is me playful!
[ Laughs ]

I´m looking towards the future.
What is in my future?

What is the next move
for Brooke Shields?

[ Laughs ]

♫♫

-Oh, you´re doing dishes, Grier?
-Apparently.

[ Laughter ]

-When Grier wanted to model,

I said, "No, no, no, no."

That´s all I said was, "No."

And then at a certain point,
I thought,

Oh, my God, it´s not gonna
matter what you say.

If she wants to do this,
she´s gonna do it.

So she´s gonna do it.

I better help her
get on the right start.

I know this industry is
predicated on eating its young.

Like, it wants
to devour them.

You know, I try to learn
from my experience

and protect my girls now.

And I don´t know exactly
how to do it.

-Everybody get your phone
at the table, please,

and check your social media.

Take some photos of the food
for your social media.

[ Laughter ]

-The steak is so good, Dad.
-Oh, good.

-Yeah, the whole thing
is so good.

-There was something I wanted to
watch the other week.

It was like the "Gossip Girl"
for adults.

-"Lipstick Jungle."

-I feel like it was like
old people and "Gossip Girl."

-Okay. Jesus Christ.
-I´m not wrong.

-Yeah. Ah. Mm. Slightly.

You never saw any
of my earlier movies.

You haven´t seen "Pretty Baby."
You haven´t seen "Blue Lagoon."

You haven´t even seen
"Endless Love."

-No. I will never, ever
watch "Blue Lagoon."

Sorry.
-Okay.

-Why not "Blue Lagoon"?

-´Cause she´s, like,
naked.

I see "Pretty Baby"
edits on TikTok,

and it makes me
not want to watch it.

´Cause it´s like
the movie itself is, like --

this is nothing against --
no, no, no, no, no.

-I´m not taking this
personally.

-I´m saying the movie itself is,
like, about...

something that´s not okay now,
right?

-I´m not disagreeing
with you.

It is a -- it was a true story
about something

that actually happened
in the early 1900s.

So that to depict that now
would not be permittable.

-That´s what --
okay, so yes.

-I´m agreeing with you,
but it´s important

to make the distinction.

-Yes, I understand
it was okay once,

but now it´s just, like,
a different --

-See, I never saw "Pretty Baby."
Is there nudity in it?

-Yes.
-Are you nude?

-I´m nude twice.
-Mm.

-With my little
11-year-old body.

-That´s weird.
-That´s weird.

-Okay, what´s weird
about that?

-This is nothing against
the movie. I don´t want --

-There´s no judgment.
I do not --

I´m interested
in that concept.

What is weird
about that?

-During that time
it came out,

and that was considered
something

that was, like, very well done,
very well-written.

Like, you were great in it.

-Only in Europe.
-Only in Europe? Oh.

-Why wouldn´t you be able
to see that movie today?

Why wouldn´t that movie
be able to be made today?

-Like, it´s just
everything´s changed.

-It´s called child pornography,
technically.

-Also, just, like, everything
is different now.

-You do have shows like
"Euphoria" where, you know,

you have girls that are young
playing characters

that do go through
sexual things, but --

-Yeah,
but they´re not 11.

They´re all like 25
playing like 16.

-Oh, really?
-Yeah.

Like, all of those people,
they´re like over 21, like...

-Sydney Sweeney´s
actually 24.

And so there wasn´t really
a negative, like, backlash.

-She was old enough
to consent to it.

You were 11.

You weren´t mature enough
to be making your own decisions.

And other people
signed off, being like,

"Oh, no, she´s fine.

You can take her top off.
She´s fine."

-Okay, then let me ask you
about TikTok

and let me ask you
about Instagram.

When I see --
okay, by the way --

-How is that different
from...?

-You´re like 16.
-Okay. All right.

-And I can post myself
in a bikini...

-She´s posting it herself.
-I´m posting it myself.

-Okay,
so there´s ownership of...

-Yeah
-You look gorgeous.

-Yes.
-You do, too.

Like, and you should
feel that.

Is that empowering?

-Yes.
-Yeah.

-Okay.

You´re creating your own
self-confidence.

-Yes.

-Are you -- [ Laughs ]
-What?

-You´ve been invited
to this dinner, you know.

-I´m just listening
and learning.

-Learning from their --

They´re being so honest
and articulate.

-You know, it´s good to hear.
It´s interesting.

-Would you have let us
at the age of 11 --

-No.
-Yeah.

-So why?
Am I a hypocrite? Like...

-No.
-You weren´t a mom then.

-Yeah.
-You were the model.

You weren´t the -- you were
looking to your mom,

and she had all the answers,

and so you weren´t
gonna question that.

-Right.

-You also weren´t
the only one, you know?

Like, you weren´t the only
underage, like, female

being oversexualized
in this film industry

during this time.

I would love for you
to get on a show,

like, something
the young kids watch.

-Something the young
whippersnappers watch?

-Yeah.

-I loved "Friends."

"Leap of Faith."
-[ Speaks indistinctly ]

-Oh, "Chalet Girl."
That´s good.

-Oh! No!
"Hot Flashes."

-"And I took ´em to the curb
and I said,

´Put a boot up my butt,´
and walked away."

It´s always random lines
that are like...

"And I said to him,
´Oh, please, I´m drowning.

Can you please
get me from the water?´

´Find a way to lose,
ma´am.´"

-[ Laughs ]

You never told me
you watched any of these.

[ Laughs ]

My girls are so
in their own bodies and skin,

and they have their own opinions
and they voice them.

I wasn´t told it was important
to have agency.

´Cause my mom could have it
for me

or directors I was working with
or those, you know, industry.

Now it´s like I´m allowed
to be a human being.

Having daughters changed me
because they´ve taught me that.

-It´s shocking to me
how dangerous

the young child actors lane is

and how many traumatic
outcomes it has.

I love Brooke´s tone about it.

It´s like we´re moving forward
in life,

and now we get
to be on home plate,

in charge of our destinies
as adults.

But now we also get
to care for kids

and figure out
what that journey is.

-Literally cannot get
any better than that.

-Tell the group here about
what you´re working on.

-I just started my own company,

a very quickly growing platform
and website.

That´s my own brand
focused on well-being

for a community
that I really care about.

The more I started talking
to women over 40,

the more I started realizing

how many incredible pivots
there were.

Looking back, I believe I came
through it in spite of a lot,

you know, being reduced to this,
being reduced to that.

Many women feel that.

When that´s the culture that
my mother struggled with, too.

-I think everybody has a little,
like, Brooke Shields narrative

stuck in them,
because what happened to her

and the way people talked about
her and the perception of her

isn´t really about her
as an individual.

It´s just about women.

-I don´t see that
a lot has changed.

Young people
are just working so hard

to live up to these
unattainable standards.

They have to epitomize
a certain type of femininity

in order to be desirable to men.

Everything else is sort of
less valued, less important.

-Children are catapulted into
the world of adult sexuality

when they´re very, very young

by the kinds of images
on social media

and in films and all of that
long before they can process it.

How do you fight
a toxic cultural environment?

-Every generation of feminism
has multiple fights to have,

and this one continues.

[ Indistinct conversation ]

-It´s the first time
in about 56 years

that I´m actually just owning
my identity fully.

I had to go through
all of what I went through

to be able to really own
this period of time in my life.

I had to make it known
that Brooke Shields --

one word, the commodity --

that wasn´t who I was,

and to view that persona

as something
that´s just over there,

that´s not fully who you are.

It´s not gonna take
anything from you.

You inhabit it, but you leave it
and you come home.

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