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1
00:00:02,819 --> 00:00:04,486
♪ ♪
2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,563
I broke up with Max last night.
3
00:00:06,656 --> 00:00:07,914
Y'all saw what happened.
4
00:00:08,067 --> 00:00:10,400
If you didn't, go to Hulu
right now, watch.
5
00:00:10,419 --> 00:00:12,344
I'll be waiting right here.
6
00:00:12,421 --> 00:00:14,513
Welcome back, I hope you
enjoyed the episode.
7
00:00:14,664 --> 00:00:17,924
So Max stormed out and he didn't
come back until after 2:00.
8
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:19,184
At least I think it was him.
9
00:00:19,336 --> 00:00:20,627
It's also possible I'm being
robbed by someone
10
00:00:20,763 --> 00:00:23,263
who made a Hot Pocket
and slept on the sofa.
11
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,915
Look, ending it was really hard,
12
00:00:24,933 --> 00:00:27,768
but turns out the guy I've been
pining after for 20 years
13
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,528
is a real dick under pressure.
14
00:00:29,755 --> 00:00:30,696
No, thanks.
15
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,014
I'd rather be his friend
than his girlfriend.
16
00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:34,274
And that's what I'm gonna do.
17
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,684
I'm gonna go out there
and be his friend.
18
00:00:36,779 --> 00:00:38,095
It's not gonna be
awkward at all.
19
00:00:38,188 --> 00:00:41,540
I'm just gonna go
and be his friend, out there.
20
00:00:41,691 --> 00:00:43,934
Soon as I get out of bed,
that's what I'm gonna do.
21
00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:46,712
I'm just gonna move my legs,
and go out there.
22
00:00:46,863 --> 00:00:48,438
Be his friend.
23
00:00:48,457 --> 00:00:50,090
Here I go.
24
00:00:57,415 --> 00:00:59,116
Morning.
25
00:00:59,134 --> 00:01:00,300
Hey.
26
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,044
Oh, that didn't feel like
a friend zone "hey."
27
00:01:03,138 --> 00:01:05,213
This might take a little longer
than I thought.
28
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,790
Just got to stay strong.
29
00:01:06,809 --> 00:01:10,194
And stop looking
at his sexy arms.
30
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,740
His sexy legs.
31
00:01:15,559 --> 00:01:18,077
God, it's like there's
nowhere to look.
32
00:01:18,228 --> 00:01:20,395
So, making pancakes?
33
00:01:20,564 --> 00:01:21,655
Yep.
34
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:22,915
Nice.
35
00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:24,474
You want some?
36
00:01:24,568 --> 00:01:26,660
I was gonna put bacon in them,
so I made the bacon,
37
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,736
had a bite of the bacon,
and then I realized...
38
00:01:28,831 --> 00:01:30,238
bacon, you don't need
no pancake,
39
00:01:30,332 --> 00:01:31,982
you're perfect
just the way you are.
40
00:01:32,075 --> 00:01:34,742
Ha-ha. Look at that.
He's making jokes.
41
00:01:34,837 --> 00:01:36,428
Maybe this isn't
gonna be so bad.
42
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:38,580
This is gonna be like
a conscious uncoupling.
43
00:01:38,748 --> 00:01:41,433
We're gonna be like Gwyneth
and Coldplay.
44
00:01:41,585 --> 00:01:43,844
So, uh, how'd you sleep?
45
00:01:43,996 --> 00:01:45,162
Great.
46
00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:46,663
I'm so glad I gave up
my apartment
47
00:01:46,682 --> 00:01:48,107
to move in with my girlfriend
and then get dumped
48
00:01:48,334 --> 00:01:50,350
and sleep on her pull-out couch.
49
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,693
Oh.
50
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,613
That one's yours.
51
00:01:55,674 --> 00:01:57,432
Okay, so maybe we're more like
Kim and Kanye.
52
00:01:57,526 --> 00:01:58,766
♪ ♪
53
00:01:58,861 --> 00:02:00,435
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
54
00:02:00,529 --> 00:02:02,746
♪ Nothin' wrong with you but I'd rather be me. ♪
55
00:02:03,940 --> 00:02:05,682
- Hey, baby.
- Hey, babe.
56
00:02:05,701 --> 00:02:07,942
You're just in time. Watch this.
57
00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:10,629
Lights on.
58
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,549
Lights off.
59
00:02:14,451 --> 00:02:16,468
Lights on.
60
00:02:16,695 --> 00:02:19,954
I feel like the Mr. Miyagi
of illumination.
61
00:02:21,124 --> 00:02:23,958
Nice, but I asked you
to install the dishwasher.
62
00:02:24,052 --> 00:02:25,310
I can't keep washing
dishes by hand,
63
00:02:25,462 --> 00:02:27,387
my manicurist says
we need to see other people.
64
00:02:27,589 --> 00:02:29,982
This is way more important
than a dishwasher.
65
00:02:30,209 --> 00:02:32,151
Turn on sexy lights.
66
00:02:33,803 --> 00:02:36,638
It's the same shade of purple
Prince used for his sheets.
67
00:02:36,732 --> 00:02:40,050
Yeah, I remember the diorama
you made of his bedroom.
68
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,404
What's in the bag?
69
00:02:44,556 --> 00:02:45,906
Oh, my Aunt Dee's wedding dress.
70
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,557
I always wanted to get
married in it.
71
00:02:47,576 --> 00:02:50,076
I was her flower girl
when I was five. And seven.
72
00:02:50,229 --> 00:02:52,045
And nine. Well, she had a type.
73
00:02:52,231 --> 00:02:53,821
Rich, childless and near death.
74
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,399
The Aunt Dee who sends
Christmas cards
75
00:02:55,417 --> 00:02:57,250
that we can't put up
when kids are around?
76
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,344
I like her.
Let's bust that thing out.
77
00:02:59,496 --> 00:03:01,496
What? Have you lost your mind?
78
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,682
No, you can't see the dress
before the wedding,
79
00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,017
it's bad luck.
80
00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:07,186
We're not supposed to have sex
before the wedding,
81
00:03:07,337 --> 00:03:08,929
but I'm still wearing white.
82
00:03:09,005 --> 00:03:12,006
How is this the one superstition
you don't believe in?
83
00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:14,526
You're still forwarding
a chain email from Y2K.
84
00:03:14,678 --> 00:03:17,087
It's been 20 years and
the toasters have not risen up
85
00:03:17,105 --> 00:03:18,271
and tried to kill us.
86
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:21,425
That's because I'm still
forwarding the email.
87
00:03:21,443 --> 00:03:24,261
I'm serious, don't look at it.
88
00:03:24,354 --> 00:03:26,279
You act like I don't have
any self-control.
89
00:03:26,432 --> 00:03:28,690
We've had wax fruit on
the table for three weeks
90
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,126
and I've only tried one peach.
91
00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:36,864
These pancakes are really good.
92
00:03:36,959 --> 00:03:39,109
You know, some people
call them flapjacks.
93
00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:41,253
I mean, who is this Jack
94
00:03:41,405 --> 00:03:43,555
and why is he flapping?
95
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,227
Do I taste cinnamon?
96
00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:50,896
Only if there
was some on the floor.
97
00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:53,381
Max. I know this is hard.
98
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,717
But we said that if we broke up
we'd still be friends.
99
00:03:55,794 --> 00:03:59,129
And Carter's license says
he's six-two. People lie.
100
00:03:59,147 --> 00:04:00,814
You don't mean that.
101
00:04:00,966 --> 00:04:02,908
I know this feels
really bad right now,
102
00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:04,243
but we're gonna work it out.
103
00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:05,635
How am I supposed to explain
this to people
104
00:04:05,654 --> 00:04:07,246
when I don't even get it?
105
00:04:07,397 --> 00:04:08,822
It's like when that kid
at the gas station
106
00:04:08,974 --> 00:04:11,141
asked me how does
a microwave work.
107
00:04:11,234 --> 00:04:14,235
I don't know, kid. It's a box
that makes things hot.
108
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:15,662
It's micro waves.
109
00:04:15,814 --> 00:04:17,589
The answer's right in the name.
110
00:04:18,742 --> 00:04:20,984
I don't know how to tell people,
but can we at least wait
111
00:04:21,077 --> 00:04:22,836
until after my mother's
birthday party?
112
00:04:22,988 --> 00:04:23,911
Seriously?
113
00:04:24,006 --> 00:04:25,580
It's just a few days.
Max, come on.
114
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,100
This is a big birthday for her.
She's "turning 50."
115
00:04:28,251 --> 00:04:29,268
And when she finds out
we broke up,
116
00:04:29,495 --> 00:04:32,086
it's gonna break her "heart."
117
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:35,515
Fine, I'll wait until after
the party, "friend."
118
00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:36,683
"Thanks."
119
00:04:36,835 --> 00:04:38,426
But for the record,
you could've waited
120
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,337
until after your mom's birthday
to dump me.
121
00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:41,596
I waited until after Passover
122
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,174
to tell you I broke
your Garfield mug.
123
00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:46,510
Ugh, I hated that Monday.
124
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,438
It's time to give Hot Lots
viewers what they want.
125
00:04:50,516 --> 00:04:53,183
You start at my butt,
tilt up to my face.
126
00:04:53,201 --> 00:04:54,442
I know how to sell the sizzle.
127
00:04:54,536 --> 00:04:56,128
And you sure you don't want
a stunt butt?
128
00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:58,538
I've been squatting, I'm ready.
129
00:04:58,690 --> 00:05:00,132
-Hi, Darren.
-Hey.
130
00:05:00,208 --> 00:05:01,374
Hey, babe,
did you hear back from
131
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,135
-any of those wedding venues?
-Ugh.
132
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,452
Just the riverfront one.
Turns out
133
00:05:04,621 --> 00:05:06,454
it's just a boat
that crashed into the dock.
134
00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:08,289
Captain said we can't
even do a walkthrough
135
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:09,866
because it's still
an active crime scene.
136
00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:13,219
Well, that's not an option.
Certainly not at full price.
137
00:05:13,372 --> 00:05:15,372
Well, I'm off to meet
yet another caterer.
138
00:05:15,465 --> 00:05:16,873
Even though we don't
have a venue yet.
139
00:05:16,892 --> 00:05:21,302
And yes, I will ask if they can
do "classy pizza rolls."
140
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,547
Tell them I want
the same pizza rolls
141
00:05:23,565 --> 00:05:26,033
that they eat
at Buckingham Palace!
142
00:05:28,978 --> 00:05:30,978
All right, as a special
wedding surprise,
143
00:05:31,073 --> 00:05:33,223
I want to turn that crawl space
that we discovered
144
00:05:33,316 --> 00:05:34,574
into Randi's she-shed.
145
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,001
She said she wanted a she-shed
146
00:05:36,152 --> 00:05:38,578
when we went to
the Shell station for sherbet.
147
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,006
Are you sure you don't want
to turn it into a home gym?
148
00:05:41,157 --> 00:05:43,133
Get some cake like mine.
149
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,164
Oh, man.
150
00:05:50,258 --> 00:05:51,499
Randi's wedding dress.
151
00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:52,684
Should we sneak a peek?
152
00:05:52,911 --> 00:05:53,852
Dude, Randi told you not to.
153
00:05:53,929 --> 00:05:55,579
That makes me want
to do it more!
154
00:05:55,597 --> 00:05:57,764
Like at the zoo when they say
don't pet the animals.
155
00:05:57,916 --> 00:06:01,676
Well, I paid $15. I want to know
what a flamingo feels like, zoo.
156
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,861
Well, it's bad luck.
157
00:06:03,088 --> 00:06:04,921
Uncle Ray saw Aunt Jackie
in her wedding dress
158
00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:06,089
before they got married.
159
00:06:06,258 --> 00:06:08,516
50 years later, he drops dead
of an aneurysm.
160
00:06:08,610 --> 00:06:10,535
Okay, fine, I won't look.
161
00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:12,204
Now go get the drywall.
162
00:06:12,431 --> 00:06:14,498
All right.
163
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,877
Oops, I just tripped
on this loose floorboard.
164
00:06:19,028 --> 00:06:21,380
I better grab this zipper
to break my fall.
165
00:06:21,607 --> 00:06:24,049
Are you looking at
Randi's dress?
166
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,718
It's beautiful.
167
00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:28,778
White, lacy.
168
00:06:28,797 --> 00:06:32,599
Mm, she's gonna look so fine
eating pizza rolls in this.
169
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,470
You shouldn't have looked.
170
00:06:37,623 --> 00:06:40,457
Oh, please.
Ain't nothing gonna happen.
171
00:06:45,722 --> 00:06:47,981
Yeah, that's not bad luck.
172
00:06:48,150 --> 00:06:50,325
I'm just a terrible carpenter.
173
00:06:56,491 --> 00:06:57,749
♪ ♪
174
00:06:57,901 --> 00:07:00,902
Damn, this is quite
the itinerary for your party.
175
00:07:00,996 --> 00:07:02,328
-You're doing outfit changes?
-Mm-hmm.
176
00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:06,149
I start as Cleopatra
for cocktails,
177
00:07:06,242 --> 00:07:08,593
segue to Jessica Rabbit
for dinner,
178
00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:09,928
then bring the house down
179
00:07:10,005 --> 00:07:12,005
with a Janet Jackson
wardrobe malfunction.
180
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,491
Ooh. Ah, this looks fun.
181
00:07:14,584 --> 00:07:17,602
9:00 to 10:30, watch Sheila
open and rate all gifts.
182
00:07:17,679 --> 00:07:20,163
Oh, yeah, that's one of her
favorite birthday traditions.
183
00:07:20,332 --> 00:07:22,882
A couple of years ago I had
my baby shoes bronzed for her.
184
00:07:23,034 --> 00:07:24,609
Got one and a half stars.
185
00:07:24,761 --> 00:07:25,777
Look, if you want them back,
186
00:07:26,004 --> 00:07:28,155
they're probably still
at the pawn shop.
187
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,265
Oh, there you are...
188
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,359
in the same clothes
as you wore yesterday.
189
00:07:33,512 --> 00:07:34,786
Boyfriends, they'll do anything
190
00:07:35,013 --> 00:07:38,198
to avoid doing laundry,
am I right?
191
00:07:38,274 --> 00:07:40,200
If God wanted me to wear
underwear once,
192
00:07:40,352 --> 00:07:41,960
he never would've
created inside-out.
193
00:07:42,187 --> 00:07:44,537
Well, don't even
get me started on girlfriends.
194
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,280
They're like,
"See what I did for you?"
195
00:07:46,374 --> 00:07:48,024
And you're like,
"Yeah, but I don't like it."
196
00:07:48,043 --> 00:07:50,635
And they're like, "Well,
I did it because I love you."
197
00:07:50,787 --> 00:07:53,305
That's why I swore off women.
198
00:07:53,456 --> 00:07:58,034
Max, I am so excited to hear
you sing at my party.
199
00:07:58,127 --> 00:07:59,536
Yeah, nothing I like better than
200
00:07:59,554 --> 00:08:01,387
singing a love song
with my Kat, here.
201
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:04,441
-Oh, you're so sweet.
-All right.
202
00:08:05,301 --> 00:08:06,559
I'm gonna go upstairs.
203
00:08:06,712 --> 00:08:08,320
Too bad she's working,
otherwise we could, you know,
204
00:08:08,471 --> 00:08:10,805
do boyfriend-girlfriend stuff.
205
00:08:10,899 --> 00:08:14,734
Honey, what happens in the
bedroom stays in the bedroom.
206
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,161
Not necessarily.
207
00:08:16,388 --> 00:08:17,662
Sometimes what happens
in the bedroom
208
00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:21,224
ends up on the hood of a Camaro.
209
00:08:21,243 --> 00:08:22,334
Mother, can you watch the shop?
I actually
210
00:08:22,561 --> 00:08:23,835
am gonna run upstairs
for a few minutes.
211
00:08:24,062 --> 00:08:27,005
But, uh, don't ask
'cause I won't tell.
212
00:08:27,156 --> 00:08:28,990
Wasn't gonna ask.
213
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:32,159
And for the love of God,
please don't tell.
214
00:08:32,254 --> 00:08:33,995
Where were you last night?
215
00:08:34,089 --> 00:08:35,180
I was really worried.
216
00:08:35,407 --> 00:08:37,015
I booby-trapped
the Hot Pocket box,
217
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,517
but I didn't hear the bike horn.
218
00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:41,186
I didn't want to sleep
on a fold-out again.
219
00:08:41,413 --> 00:08:43,596
My face is 20, my back is not.
220
00:08:43,749 --> 00:08:45,565
Well, where did you sleep?
221
00:08:46,676 --> 00:08:48,009
Did you hook up with somebody?
222
00:08:48,177 --> 00:08:50,420
I really don't see how that's
any of your business.
223
00:08:50,422 --> 00:08:54,682
Uh, it is my business when you
walk through my business
224
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,593
coming from your "biz-ness."
225
00:08:56,762 --> 00:08:58,444
I don't have to tell you what
I'm up to anymore.
226
00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:01,706
Now, if you don't mind,
227
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,375
please get out of my bedroom.
228
00:09:03,602 --> 00:09:04,859
Oh, that's real mature.
Max, come on.
229
00:09:04,953 --> 00:09:06,360
Can we talk about this?
230
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:08,362
Sorry, I closed the door
to my room. I can't hear you.
231
00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:11,883
Oh, then I guess
you can't hear this.
232
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,961
♪ Baby shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
233
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,055
♪ Baby shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
234
00:09:17,282 --> 00:09:19,949
-♪ Baby shark, doo-doo ♪
-♪ 1-877-Kars-4-Kids ♪
235
00:09:20,118 --> 00:09:22,376
-♪ Baby shark, doo-doo ♪
-♪ K-A-R-S, Kars for Kids ♪
236
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:25,212
-♪ Baby shark, doo-doo ♪
-♪ 1-877-Kars-4-Kids ♪
237
00:09:29,477 --> 00:09:30,569
Freaks.
238
00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:33,363
Now I want her to tell.
239
00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:38,910
You're still not ready
for Sheila's party?
240
00:09:39,137 --> 00:09:40,895
We're about to go
from fashionably late
241
00:09:40,989 --> 00:09:42,998
to stereotypically Black.
242
00:09:43,975 --> 00:09:45,642
Damn! Are you okay?
243
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:47,994
Uh, yeah, I'm just
a little light-headed
244
00:09:48,071 --> 00:09:50,071
from all the blood loss.
245
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,906
That is you, right, Randi?
246
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,091
Just zip me up.
247
00:09:53,318 --> 00:09:54,575
And don't get any blood
on my dress.
248
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:57,012
I have to return it
to Nordstrom tomorrow.
249
00:09:58,081 --> 00:09:59,264
It's stuck.
250
00:09:59,491 --> 00:10:00,432
It better not be stuck
in my hair.
251
00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:02,416
I've got to return
that tomorrow, too.
252
00:10:02,552 --> 00:10:05,020
-Hang on, I think I got it.
-Okay.
253
00:10:05,847 --> 00:10:07,088
Uh-oh.
254
00:10:07,182 --> 00:10:08,422
-W-What's wrong?
-Uh, nothing.
255
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:09,849
Uh, completely separate
question:
256
00:10:10,001 --> 00:10:11,943
Do you know where
the stapler is?
257
00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:14,170
Damn it, Carter!
258
00:10:14,189 --> 00:10:15,855
None of my other dresses
will work.
259
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:19,025
Sheila specifically said
less cleavage than her.
260
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,267
It's not my fault.
261
00:10:20,362 --> 00:10:21,602
I mean,
I just had a run of bad luck.
262
00:10:21,696 --> 00:10:24,848
B-But that happens.
Nothing has to cause it.
263
00:10:24,866 --> 00:10:25,790
Just get dressed.
264
00:10:25,942 --> 00:10:28,126
And I'll try to fix the...
Oh, God.
265
00:10:28,277 --> 00:10:30,019
-What?
-I just haven't
266
00:10:30,038 --> 00:10:32,205
felt right since
I met that caterer today...
267
00:10:32,357 --> 00:10:35,091
Oh. Oh.
268
00:10:35,952 --> 00:10:36,801
You okay, baby?
269
00:10:36,878 --> 00:10:39,596
Does it sound like I'm okay?
270
00:10:40,699 --> 00:10:41,973
Oh.
271
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,959
Uh, can you say it again?
272
00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:47,962
I couldn't understand you
because of the vomit.
273
00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:51,541
-Just get over here
and hold my hair back.
-Okay.
274
00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,210
I told you I got to
return it tomorrow!
275
00:10:54,303 --> 00:10:57,304
Okay.
276
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:06,072
Damn, how many pizza rolls
did you eat?
277
00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:10,410
Right in here.
278
00:11:10,562 --> 00:11:12,170
Oh, hi, Kat.
279
00:11:12,321 --> 00:11:15,173
Oh, it looks great in here.
280
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,842
Hello, Mindy,
glad you could make it.
281
00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:20,086
You are at the red table,
282
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,013
so look for a photo of my mother
283
00:11:22,165 --> 00:11:24,073
in that color nightie.
284
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:25,341
Is this your grandson?
285
00:11:26,428 --> 00:11:31,314
Yes, and his name is
"mind ya business."
286
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:36,653
Ah, sweet, they're not
checking IDs.
287
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,423
Hey, cuz, where's Randi?
288
00:11:40,442 --> 00:11:41,607
Food poisoning.
289
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,109
No way we're going
with those caterers.
290
00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:44,610
Certainly not at full price.
291
00:11:44,763 --> 00:11:46,612
What I tell you? You shouldn't
have looked at that dress.
292
00:11:46,765 --> 00:11:49,708
You were right, all sorts of bad
things have been happening.
293
00:11:49,859 --> 00:11:51,710
-Like what?
-Like right now,
294
00:11:51,861 --> 00:11:53,878
I'm stuck here talking to you.
295
00:11:54,773 --> 00:11:56,506
I hate it when you lash out.
296
00:11:57,867 --> 00:12:00,626
Hey, Max, can I get another
bottle of champagne?
297
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:03,963
"Mind-ya-business" is throwing
'em back like he's at prom.
298
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,965
Which he's missing to be here.
299
00:12:06,117 --> 00:12:08,059
Another bottle of Dom.
300
00:12:08,211 --> 00:12:10,395
Uh, that's not Dom Perignon.
301
00:12:10,546 --> 00:12:12,379
It's Dom Toretto,
the official sparkling wine
302
00:12:12,457 --> 00:12:14,048
of The Fast & The Furious.
303
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:18,027
Carter bought ten cases after
The Rock joined the franchise.
304
00:12:18,964 --> 00:12:20,129
Are you drinking?
305
00:12:20,148 --> 00:12:22,031
Uh, let me check.
306
00:12:22,817 --> 00:12:24,634
Why yes, I am.
307
00:12:24,803 --> 00:12:26,486
Okay, I'm just surprised.
308
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:27,895
You haven't had
a drink in months.
309
00:12:27,989 --> 00:12:31,065
Turns out it's like
riding a bike.
310
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,476
Well, look at you two,
311
00:12:33,569 --> 00:12:36,403
the second-best-looking
couple in the room.
312
00:12:36,498 --> 00:12:39,983
Yeah, we certainly are
still a couple.
313
00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:42,502
And they said it wouldn't last.
314
00:12:42,654 --> 00:12:46,455
Well, looks like you and I
both like younger men.
315
00:12:46,457 --> 00:12:48,466
Oh, we're-we're actually
the same age.
316
00:12:48,693 --> 00:12:51,644
Right. So are we.
317
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,273
Miss Leibowitz,
can I use the bathroom?
318
00:12:55,424 --> 00:12:57,667
I told you,
you don't have to ask.
319
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,528
I'm not your teacher anymore.
320
00:13:03,024 --> 00:13:04,783
All hail Sheila,
321
00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:07,026
Queen of De-nial!
322
00:13:13,685 --> 00:13:15,442
Hang on, cut the music.
323
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,702
Where is everyone?
324
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,279
Uh, the guests
are still arriving.
325
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:21,190
Damn it. This is why
Frampton always takes
326
00:13:21,359 --> 00:13:24,193
an extra hour to hit the stage.
327
00:13:24,212 --> 00:13:25,804
Gene, turn it around.
328
00:13:26,031 --> 00:13:27,680
Let's go.
329
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:39,892
Can I get a Stoli
and Grey Goose on the rocks?
330
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,969
You know that's just two vodkas.
331
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,305
Well, look who can count.
332
00:13:44,399 --> 00:13:46,232
Sheila, you know how
to break a curse?
333
00:13:46,384 --> 00:13:49,052
Katharine still dresses like
a lost and found box,
334
00:13:49,145 --> 00:13:51,020
so obviously not.
335
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,723
Hey, I think I'm gonna bail
on the song.
336
00:13:53,741 --> 00:13:55,408
-Just tell your mom
I said sorry.
-What?
337
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,895
No, no, then she'll know
that something's up.
338
00:13:58,913 --> 00:14:00,004
Who cares?
339
00:14:00,156 --> 00:14:01,789
I don't feel like
getting up onstage
340
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,249
and pretending
everything's okay.
341
00:14:03,401 --> 00:14:05,176
It's just like
the high school talent show
342
00:14:05,328 --> 00:14:06,903
when I had to follow
the fire juggler.
343
00:14:06,996 --> 00:14:08,237
My whole performance,
344
00:14:08,331 --> 00:14:10,590
you could still hear him
screaming backstage.
345
00:14:10,742 --> 00:14:14,001
Max, we just have to keep it
together for one song.
346
00:14:14,095 --> 00:14:15,353
I don't even want to be here.
347
00:14:15,504 --> 00:14:17,080
Nobody does!
348
00:14:17,173 --> 00:14:19,023
Excuse me.
349
00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:20,917
Can I get everyone's attention?
350
00:14:23,012 --> 00:14:26,105
Um, first off, good news:
351
00:14:26,257 --> 00:14:29,016
Mindy's date has found
his retainer.
352
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,779
But please keep an eye out
for his Minions retainer case.
353
00:14:33,932 --> 00:14:35,598
Ba-na-na!
354
00:14:36,618 --> 00:14:41,045
Oh, okay, 'cause that didn't
sound exactly like a Minion?
355
00:14:41,272 --> 00:14:44,440
Now I'd like to welcome
to the stage
356
00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:47,552
someone who is very
special to me.
357
00:14:47,703 --> 00:14:51,205
My daughter Katharine's
boyfriend Max.
358
00:14:53,635 --> 00:14:55,709
All right, you don't want
to do the song, you tell her.
359
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,212
Fine, let's frickin' do it.
360
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,381
Oh, also note,
a change in schedule:
361
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:05,153
I'll be doing my belly dance
after I cut the cake.
362
00:15:06,814 --> 00:15:08,555
♪ ♪
363
00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:10,633
Hi, I'm Kat,
Sheila Silver's daughter.
364
00:15:10,726 --> 00:15:14,913
And, Mother, just want you know
how much you mean to me.
365
00:15:15,064 --> 00:15:16,322
Hit it, Max!
366
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,807
♪ ♪
367
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:21,902
♪ You and I must make a pact ♪
368
00:15:21,996 --> 00:15:23,087
♪ ♪
369
00:15:23,239 --> 00:15:27,866
♪ We must bring salvation back ♪
370
00:15:28,019 --> 00:15:29,652
♪ ♪
371
00:15:29,745 --> 00:15:33,598
♪ Where there is love ♪
372
00:15:33,749 --> 00:15:35,508
♪ I'll be there ♪
373
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:37,677
♪ Unless you're not ♪
374
00:15:37,829 --> 00:15:39,253
♪ ♪
375
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:44,943
♪ I'll reach out my hand to you ♪
376
00:15:45,094 --> 00:15:49,763
♪ Although you don't want me to ♪
377
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,674
♪ ♪
378
00:15:51,693 --> 00:15:55,011
♪ Just sing the song ♪
379
00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:57,013
♪ I'll be there ♪
380
00:15:57,106 --> 00:15:59,791
♪ No, she won't ♪
381
00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,851
♪ ♪
382
00:16:01,853 --> 00:16:07,023
♪ You fill my heart with joy and laughter ♪
383
00:16:07,192 --> 00:16:11,544
♪ Then you threw it in the trash compactor ♪
384
00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:13,546
♪ Ooh ♪
385
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,307
♪ Just so you know ♪
386
00:16:16,459 --> 00:16:18,309
♪ I never liked Bridgerton ♪
387
00:16:18,461 --> 00:16:20,478
♪ You take that back ♪
388
00:16:20,629 --> 00:16:22,313
♪ I won't ♪
389
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:25,799
Damn. I guess I never really
listened to the lyrics.
390
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:29,879
♪ You're making this harder than it needs to be... ♪
391
00:16:29,897 --> 00:16:31,214
No.
392
00:16:31,232 --> 00:16:32,715
You already slept with somebody
393
00:16:32,734 --> 00:16:35,384
and it's only been two days?
That is so tacky.
394
00:16:35,403 --> 00:16:38,145
Enough already.
I slept at Darren's.
395
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,480
Why didn't you just say that?
396
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,682
And when the Duke told Daphne
"I burn for you,"
397
00:16:41,684 --> 00:16:42,892
you cried real tears!
398
00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:44,669
Why am I even defending
myself to you?
399
00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:46,671
We're not together anymore.
400
00:16:46,822 --> 00:16:48,489
Damn it, Max!
401
00:16:50,251 --> 00:16:51,509
What's happening?
402
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:54,570
I'll tell you what's happening,
this sucks.
403
00:16:54,589 --> 00:16:57,640
She said this song was about me.
404
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,337
Um...
405
00:17:03,431 --> 00:17:05,931
Uh...
406
00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:07,250
Next up,
407
00:17:07,268 --> 00:17:09,252
a very special birthday
video message
408
00:17:09,270 --> 00:17:11,420
from Ernie Hudson,
the Black Ghostbuster.
409
00:17:11,439 --> 00:17:13,740
Gene, roll that tape, will you?
410
00:17:19,931 --> 00:17:21,113
Honey, are you okay?
411
00:17:21,282 --> 00:17:24,267
Yeah. I'm really sorry
about your song.
412
00:17:24,285 --> 00:17:26,711
Oh, don't worry about that.
413
00:17:27,955 --> 00:17:29,288
I thought it was good.
414
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,699
My video of it
already has 47 likes.
415
00:17:32,794 --> 00:17:34,752
I can't believe
you guys broke up.
416
00:17:34,904 --> 00:17:36,721
-What happened?
-It's complicated.
417
00:17:36,948 --> 00:17:38,705
I can't really
get into it right now.
418
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:42,635
Why didn't they just watch
the last episode like you did?
419
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,787
This sucks.
420
00:17:44,806 --> 00:17:46,972
Y'all were my
relationship goals.
421
00:17:47,091 --> 00:17:48,382
What about me and Randi?
422
00:17:48,476 --> 00:17:51,460
Check back in when you learn
how to communicate.
423
00:17:53,722 --> 00:17:55,648
Oh, don't worry, Mother.
424
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,133
I'll be okay.
425
00:17:57,151 --> 00:18:00,136
I don't see how.
426
00:18:00,229 --> 00:18:03,331
Now you're going to die alone.
427
00:18:08,329 --> 00:18:11,089
Hey, baby, how you feeling?
428
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,665
I was feeling better
429
00:18:12,817 --> 00:18:15,093
until I saw Darren's
livestream of the party.
430
00:18:15,244 --> 00:18:17,169
Sheila demanded
that I spank her.
431
00:18:17,322 --> 00:18:19,597
I mean, it was her birthday.
I had no choice.
432
00:18:19,748 --> 00:18:21,991
No, Kat and Max breaking up.
433
00:18:22,009 --> 00:18:23,342
Yeah.
434
00:18:23,494 --> 00:18:25,177
That was sad.
435
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:26,996
How'd it make you feel?
436
00:18:27,014 --> 00:18:28,755
We should communicate.
437
00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:30,333
What?
438
00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:32,168
Don't be mad.
439
00:18:32,261 --> 00:18:33,427
I looked at your wedding dress.
440
00:18:33,596 --> 00:18:34,353
What the hell?!
441
00:18:34,505 --> 00:18:35,762
You said you wouldn't be mad!
442
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:36,763
No, I didn't.
443
00:18:36,858 --> 00:18:37,931
The point is I'm cursed.
444
00:18:38,025 --> 00:18:40,267
I mean, your food poisoning,
the shelves,
445
00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:41,953
Mindy's date got grounded.
446
00:18:42,180 --> 00:18:43,788
Baby, you're not cursed.
447
00:18:44,015 --> 00:18:45,105
No, it's true.
448
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,349
You need to just save yourself.
449
00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,351
-What are you talking about?
-Mm-mm.
450
00:18:48,444 --> 00:18:51,612
Just walk away, but do it slow.
451
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:55,133
I need to see that thang
thangin' one last time.
452
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,710
I promise you're not cursed
453
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,953
because it's not gonna be
my wedding dress.
454
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,213
What?
455
00:19:01,290 --> 00:19:02,214
Yeah, Aunt Dee
got engaged again,
456
00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:03,641
so she wants her dress back.
457
00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:05,868
Should've seen it coming
when she got that job
458
00:19:05,887 --> 00:19:07,127
at the nursing home.
459
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,388
Then what caused
all my bad luck?
460
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:10,631
Bad luck?
461
00:19:10,725 --> 00:19:12,132
Baby, you are marrying me.
462
00:19:12,226 --> 00:19:14,468
You have the best luck
of anyone I know.
463
00:19:14,637 --> 00:19:16,821
Yeah, I am pretty lucky.
464
00:19:18,232 --> 00:19:19,882
And you lucky too, right?
465
00:19:19,901 --> 00:19:21,742
Sure.
466
00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:30,559
♪ ♪
467
00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:33,838
God, there you are.
What was...?
468
00:19:34,065 --> 00:19:35,989
Oh.
469
00:19:36,083 --> 00:19:38,067
You're moving out now.
470
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,677
Yep. Moving out.
471
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,238
Also, microwaves cause water
molecules in food to vibrate,
472
00:19:42,256 --> 00:19:44,665
producing heat
that cooks the food.
473
00:19:44,759 --> 00:19:46,075
Just FYI.
474
00:19:46,093 --> 00:19:48,244
If this is about the bed,
475
00:19:48,262 --> 00:19:49,428
you can sleep in the bed.
476
00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:51,247
I'll be on the pull-out, see?
Whoa.
477
00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:52,339
Sweet Ernie Hudson.
478
00:19:52,433 --> 00:19:54,358
Is there even a mattress
in that thing?
479
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,918
I got to go.
480
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,345
But Max, I don't want you
to leave like this.
481
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:01,032
This feels like we're
never gonna talk again.
482
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:03,868
I just... I just can't
keep doing this.
483
00:20:04,019 --> 00:20:06,779
That night on the roof,
484
00:20:06,931 --> 00:20:09,957
you promised I would
never lose you.
485
00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:14,545
My key's on the counter.
486
00:20:27,543 --> 00:20:29,969
He'll be back.
That's his car key.
487
00:20:31,122 --> 00:20:33,472
♪ Baby shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
488
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,382
♪ Baby shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
489
00:20:35,476 --> 00:20:37,460
♪ Baby shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
490
00:20:37,553 --> 00:20:38,903
♪ Baby shark ♪
491
00:20:39,054 --> 00:20:41,480
♪ Mommy shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
492
00:20:41,632 --> 00:20:43,908
♪ Mommy shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
493
00:20:44,093 --> 00:20:46,635
♪ Mommy shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
494
00:20:46,654 --> 00:20:48,153
♪ Mommy shark ♪
495
00:20:48,306 --> 00:20:50,081
♪ Daddy shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
496
00:20:50,308 --> 00:20:52,065
♪ Daddy shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
497
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,568
♪ Daddy shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
498
00:20:54,662 --> 00:20:56,145
♪ Daddy shark ♪
499
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,071
♪ Grandma shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
500
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:00,332
♪ Grandma shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
501
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,501
♪ Grandma shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
502
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,244
♪ Grandma shark. ♪
503
00:21:04,338 --> 00:21:06,171
Captioning sponsored by
504
00:21:06,324 --> 00:21:08,975
Captioned by
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