All language subtitles for Murder.Mystery.2.2023.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian Download
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian Download
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino Download
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese Download
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish Download
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:34,041 --> 00:00:36,875 {\an8}[thrilling orchestral music playing] 4 00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:39,041 {\an8}[narrator] Four years ago, Nick and Audrey Spitz 5 00:00:39,041 --> 00:00:42,375 solved some of the most high-profile murders of the century. 6 00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:43,958 - [music continues] - [gasps] 7 00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:47,791 [Audrey] Oh my God! Oh my God! 8 00:00:48,708 --> 00:00:50,875 - Should we pull it out? - No, it's a foot-long knife. 9 00:00:50,875 --> 00:00:52,416 - [all screaming] - I'll put it back in. 10 00:00:52,416 --> 00:00:54,875 - Don't put it back. - [all moaning and yelling] 11 00:00:54,875 --> 00:00:57,083 [narrator] Like many overnight success stories, 12 00:00:57,083 --> 00:00:59,666 Nick and Audrey immediately quit their jobs 13 00:00:59,666 --> 00:01:01,416 and poured their life savings 14 00:01:01,416 --> 00:01:04,375 into pursuing a career as private investigators. 15 00:01:04,375 --> 00:01:05,708 - [loud crunching] - [Audrey] Hmm. 16 00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:07,416 Uh... 17 00:01:07,416 --> 00:01:09,041 - Yeah. - Would you excuse me? 18 00:01:09,041 --> 00:01:10,708 Mm. Yes, not a problem. 19 00:01:10,708 --> 00:01:12,166 [crunching continues] 20 00:01:12,166 --> 00:01:14,458 Are you kidding me right now with those potato chips? 21 00:01:14,458 --> 00:01:18,041 Are you seriously yelling at me? I watched you eat two shrimp cocktails. 22 00:01:18,041 --> 00:01:20,625 Stop distracting me. Okay? 23 00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:23,000 [narrator] Unfortunately, it's not going very well. 24 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,583 Men get to a certain stage in their life. It's nothing to do with you. 25 00:01:26,583 --> 00:01:28,083 Not all men. 26 00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:30,208 - No, but-- - Don't get mad at me for this. 27 00:01:30,208 --> 00:01:33,125 - [door closes] - [woman] You've been cheating on me, Ron. 28 00:01:33,125 --> 00:01:36,000 - Really? After 25 years? - [sighs] 29 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,125 [Ron] Baby... 30 00:01:37,125 --> 00:01:40,666 I've been going out on my own so I could plan a surprise wedding anniversary. 31 00:01:40,666 --> 00:01:42,333 - No, that's so sweet! - That's... 32 00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:44,916 - [Ron] Come on. I love you. - I'm so sorry. 33 00:01:44,916 --> 00:01:46,666 Excuse us, you guys. 34 00:01:46,666 --> 00:01:48,791 If you don't mind just paying this bill, 35 00:01:48,791 --> 00:01:50,916 we'll be out of your lovebuggin' hair. 36 00:01:50,916 --> 00:01:52,875 - A bill? You're billing her? - Yeah, no. 37 00:01:52,875 --> 00:01:53,958 We made a deal-- 38 00:01:53,958 --> 00:01:55,083 You were hitting on me! 39 00:01:55,083 --> 00:01:56,416 - I was undercover. - Pretend-- 40 00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:57,958 This keeps getting better and better. 41 00:01:57,958 --> 00:02:00,166 [narrator] With business struggling, Nick and Audrey 42 00:02:00,166 --> 00:02:01,541 could only pray for a miracle... 43 00:02:01,541 --> 00:02:02,541 You better run! 44 00:02:02,541 --> 00:02:04,375 ...that someone close to them 45 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,625 would be killed. 46 00:02:11,458 --> 00:02:14,875 [soft high-pitched sounds echoing] 47 00:02:14,875 --> 00:02:18,000 [low snorting, moaning] 48 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,500 Oh God! 49 00:02:20,583 --> 00:02:21,666 Honey, honey, honey. Hey! 50 00:02:22,250 --> 00:02:24,291 Can't you put on beach waves or something nice? 51 00:02:24,291 --> 00:02:26,833 [Nick] The whale noises help me fall asleep. 52 00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:29,208 - You took away my Ambien, so... - [Audrey] You know why? 53 00:02:29,208 --> 00:02:31,166 Remember the last time you took Ambien? 54 00:02:31,166 --> 00:02:33,166 You went sleepwalking into the lobby 55 00:02:33,166 --> 00:02:36,166 wearing my underwear, and then you started watering the couch. 56 00:02:36,166 --> 00:02:37,791 I don't remember doing that. 57 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,041 Look. Doorman took a picture. It's my screen saver. 58 00:02:41,125 --> 00:02:43,291 - Uh, that's somebody else. - [Audrey] Okay. 59 00:02:43,291 --> 00:02:47,541 Listen, baby, if you can't sleep, um, 60 00:02:48,458 --> 00:02:49,916 we could try to, uh, 61 00:02:50,625 --> 00:02:52,875 {\an8}knock out a chapter together. 62 00:02:52,875 --> 00:02:54,083 {\an8}[Nick] I read a few pages. 63 00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:56,208 That guy doesn't know what he's talking about. 64 00:02:56,208 --> 00:02:58,500 [Audrey] Honey, this is the guy that wrote the test. 65 00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:00,583 The test you need to take to get licensed. 66 00:03:00,583 --> 00:03:01,666 [Nick] I was a real cop. 67 00:03:01,666 --> 00:03:04,291 I don't need some piece of paper telling me I know what I'm doing. 68 00:03:04,291 --> 00:03:05,375 I know what I'm doing! 69 00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:08,083 But we both agreed that it would help our business 70 00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:10,208 if we just, you know, took the course. 71 00:03:10,208 --> 00:03:12,958 Do you really think our business is struggling because of that? 72 00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:16,000 I think we would get better clientele if both of us were licensed. 73 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,625 Only way to get better clientele is better marketing. 74 00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:21,333 Better marketing? Like your floss business cards? 75 00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:23,583 - Yes. - [Audrey] Seriously? God! 76 00:03:23,583 --> 00:03:25,625 It's called "disruptive marketing." 77 00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:28,875 It's not disruptive. It's confusing. We're not dentists. We're-- 78 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,000 [whale noises start up] 79 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,958 I can talk louder than the sound machine. 80 00:03:31,958 --> 00:03:33,791 - [volume increasing] - [Audrey] Honey, come on! 81 00:03:33,791 --> 00:03:35,041 [Nick] Fine. Forget it. 82 00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:37,541 Do you not wanna do this anymore? 83 00:03:38,125 --> 00:03:40,083 I do. I wanna do this. It's just... 84 00:03:40,083 --> 00:03:42,458 It's all we ever do is talk about work. 85 00:03:43,083 --> 00:03:46,875 Do you know any couples who also work together that actually get along? 86 00:03:47,458 --> 00:03:49,541 Billie Eilish and Finneas. 87 00:03:49,541 --> 00:03:50,666 They're brother and sister. 88 00:03:50,666 --> 00:03:54,541 Look, baby, I know this isn't what we pictured when we got into this-- 89 00:03:54,541 --> 00:03:56,375 [cell phone playing Indian hip-hop music] 90 00:03:56,375 --> 00:03:58,000 What the hell is that? 91 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,583 Uh, it's my phone. 92 00:03:59,583 --> 00:04:02,666 [phone continues ringing and vibrating] 93 00:04:02,666 --> 00:04:06,083 Yo! Rajah! Namaste. What's up, my brother? 94 00:04:06,083 --> 00:04:09,041 [Maharajah] Yo! What are you doing, Nicky Nick? 95 00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:11,916 Are you mowing your lawn or something? What do I hear right now? 96 00:04:11,916 --> 00:04:15,500 Yo, I'm chillin' on a Jet Ski, dog! [laughs] 97 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:18,083 On a Jet Ski and on the phone at the same time? 98 00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:20,500 [Maharajah] Yo, Nick. Broski. My brosephus. 99 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:23,541 The Maharajah is getting married! 100 00:04:24,125 --> 00:04:26,541 Oh, that's incredible! 101 00:04:26,541 --> 00:04:28,666 Let me tell Audrey. Audrey! 102 00:04:28,666 --> 00:04:29,875 He's getting married. 103 00:04:29,875 --> 00:04:31,250 - What? - [Nick] Oh yeah. 104 00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:35,583 Vik! Congratulations! We're so happy for you! 105 00:04:35,583 --> 00:04:38,958 Thank you! She's a dime piece from Paris. 106 00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:41,541 You know, where the Eiffel Tower is and shit. 107 00:04:41,541 --> 00:04:44,875 I'm getting married this weekend on my new private island. 108 00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:47,791 I want you and Nick to come, all expenses paid. 109 00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:52,458 I need to see you two ballers out on the dance floor busting a nut! 110 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,250 "Busting a move," you mean. 111 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,166 Nah, dude, I got... 112 00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:56,541 Oh shit! 113 00:04:56,541 --> 00:04:57,958 [yells] 114 00:04:57,958 --> 00:04:59,750 - [line disconnects] - What's happening? 115 00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,666 Did you hear "all-expenses-paid"? 116 00:05:01,666 --> 00:05:05,708 - We have to work this weekend. - I gotta say, I could use a getaway. 117 00:05:05,708 --> 00:05:08,458 Remember what happened last time we went on a getaway? 118 00:05:08,458 --> 00:05:10,375 Yeah, some people died. 119 00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:11,916 Not s-- A lot of people. 120 00:05:11,916 --> 00:05:13,666 You think five people dying's a lot? 121 00:05:13,666 --> 00:05:16,416 All right. Hold on. Just gonna think for a second. 122 00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:18,125 - She's caving in. - Okay, so... 123 00:05:18,625 --> 00:05:20,333 - She's caving in. - Just wait. 124 00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:21,666 No. Go ahead. 125 00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:23,291 Okay, I do agree. 126 00:05:23,875 --> 00:05:26,291 I think we could both use a little bit of a break. 127 00:05:26,291 --> 00:05:27,666 - A break? - From all this. 128 00:05:27,666 --> 00:05:30,291 - Just no work for a minute, you know? - Not-- 129 00:05:30,291 --> 00:05:32,250 - It's-- - No. For at least a weekend. 130 00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:35,041 The whole weekend. We can... Let's not... Let's just... 131 00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:36,750 Our minds need the no work. 132 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:38,583 - I can't talk-- - I got chills! Goosebumps! 133 00:05:38,583 --> 00:05:40,291 'Cause we're gonna do this, aren't we? 134 00:05:40,291 --> 00:05:43,166 [dynamic music playing] 135 00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:47,833 - Wow. How about that. Mm-hmm. - Such a good decision. 136 00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:50,250 You like the view, Mr. and Mrs. Shitz? 137 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,000 Oh. You know what? Excuse me. I'm so sorry. It's... 138 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,875 We're Nick and Audrey Spitz. It's, um... 139 00:05:55,875 --> 00:05:58,250 But, yes, it's a gorgeous view. 140 00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:01,125 Would you like some music, Mr. and Mrs. Shitz? 141 00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:04,625 We're the Spitzes not the Shitzes. Okay? 142 00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:08,250 Yes, I have some Pitbull or, uh, Taylor Shitz. 143 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:12,208 - Okay. He's sticking with the Shitz. - Puts "Shitz" at the end of everything. 144 00:06:12,208 --> 00:06:13,541 Where are you from? 145 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:16,583 I'm, uh, from the, uh... European! 146 00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:18,041 We're guessing Shitzerland? 147 00:06:18,041 --> 00:06:20,416 [both laughing] 148 00:06:20,416 --> 00:06:22,000 [laughing] 149 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,291 ♪ Ooh, girl, don't you stop Tell your mom, girl ♪ 150 00:06:25,291 --> 00:06:27,666 ♪ And I won't stop it Until you're mine, girl ♪ 151 00:06:27,666 --> 00:06:29,708 ♪ And you can't stop that Until you're mine, girl ♪ 152 00:06:29,708 --> 00:06:32,750 ♪ And I can't find out what you want ♪ 153 00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:35,916 ♪ Tell your mom, girl, and I won't stop it Until you're mine, girl ♪ 154 00:06:35,916 --> 00:06:38,708 ♪ And you can't stop that Until you're mine, girl, ha ♪ 155 00:06:38,708 --> 00:06:40,833 ♪ Ooh, girl, don't you stop... ♪ 156 00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:43,583 [Nick] Let me get off this. What the heck? Thank you! 157 00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:45,708 [Audrey] This is unbelievable! I'm gonna cry! 158 00:06:45,708 --> 00:06:49,208 - Did we die? Are we in heaven? What the-- - [gasps] This is so nice! 159 00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:52,750 The flamingos got diapers on so they don't crap the lawn! 160 00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:53,708 [Audrey] Wow! 161 00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:56,583 [Vik shouting] Nick and Audrey! 162 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,083 - Hey! My man! - Hey, hey, hey! 163 00:06:58,083 --> 00:07:00,375 - Maharajah! - [Vik] The heroes of Lake Como! 164 00:07:00,375 --> 00:07:04,666 And my sister and my brother from another mother! 165 00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:06,208 - [continues exclaiming] - [Audrey] Oh my God! 166 00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:09,000 - Hey! Oh my God! - [all whooping] 167 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,291 - [Nick] Look at you! - Oh! 168 00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:14,208 Nick and Audrey, may I present to you Mademoiselle Claudette Joubert. 169 00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:15,125 [in French] Joubert. 170 00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:18,250 [in English] I'm Audrey. It is such a pleasure to meet you. 171 00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:20,500 You are more beautiful than Vikram described. 172 00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:23,208 [Audrey] Oh! Oh. Oh. 173 00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:25,250 - That's funny. Got 'em all. - Oh! 174 00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:27,166 Four? I thought it was two. 175 00:07:27,166 --> 00:07:28,416 And Nick. 176 00:07:28,416 --> 00:07:31,000 - I've been wanting to meet you. - All right! 177 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,500 Congratulations. 178 00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:38,083 Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. I love it. 179 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,458 - Okay! All right, stop! - [Nick] What happened? 180 00:07:40,458 --> 00:07:42,208 [Audrey] Cut it out! 181 00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:43,291 [Claudette] Please, come. 182 00:07:43,291 --> 00:07:46,083 [Audrey] I have to tell you, Paris is my favorite city in the world. 183 00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:49,833 - When was the last time you were there? - Hmm. Oh, I've actually not been there. 184 00:07:49,833 --> 00:07:53,083 But I just know from the movies and from the pictures and-- 185 00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:56,291 [Nick] Hey, thanks for the wedding invite. So happy you could squeeze us in. 186 00:07:56,291 --> 00:07:57,916 - [Vik] No, for sure, man! - Unbelievable! 187 00:07:57,916 --> 00:07:59,791 We had extra seats 'cause my parents died. 188 00:07:59,791 --> 00:08:01,583 - Ooh! I'm-- - Oh! I'm so sorry. 189 00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:02,708 [Nick] That's terrible. 190 00:08:02,708 --> 00:08:04,958 [laughs] No! I'm just kidding! 191 00:08:04,958 --> 00:08:07,208 Oh, okay. So, they're coming? 192 00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:10,416 Uh, no, they died, but they were never gonna come. 193 00:08:11,208 --> 00:08:12,250 'Cause I hated them. 194 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,833 - There you go. All right. That's-- - Okay. 195 00:08:14,833 --> 00:08:17,791 Oh. Colonel, you know the Spitzes. 196 00:08:17,791 --> 00:08:19,333 - What? - Colonel! 197 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,625 My friends! 198 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,875 - My God! - Oh my God. What happened to your arm? 199 00:08:23,541 --> 00:08:25,166 Is it that noticeable? 200 00:08:25,166 --> 00:08:29,000 Last time we saw you, you had a lot more of... of your arm. 201 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,583 Well, if I had to lose one, that would be the one to lose 202 00:08:32,583 --> 00:08:34,750 because it's already missing a hand. 203 00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:37,541 You don't have to share the armrest now at the movie theater. 204 00:08:37,541 --> 00:08:40,458 - [all chuckle] - Yo, yo, yo. But real talk. 205 00:08:40,458 --> 00:08:43,625 The Colonel stopped a bullet meant for me in Mumbai. 206 00:08:43,625 --> 00:08:45,583 - You kidding? - Somebody tried to shoot you? 207 00:08:45,583 --> 00:08:48,583 Yeah. Some people don't like the way my company does business. 208 00:08:48,583 --> 00:08:52,541 Sadly, the Colonel's injury stops him from protecting me to the fullest, 209 00:08:52,541 --> 00:08:54,541 so I had to get me a new head bodyguard. 210 00:08:54,541 --> 00:08:55,875 Mr. Louis! 211 00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:58,125 - Check it out, right? - [Audrey] Hello, Louis! 212 00:08:58,125 --> 00:09:00,083 And, yo, my man is fully armed. 213 00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:02,000 [Nick] He's fully armed. That's funny! 214 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,625 Okay. I hope you don't find anything in there. 215 00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:06,666 - I hope not! - [all laugh] 216 00:09:06,666 --> 00:09:07,750 I hate to say it. 217 00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:11,083 If you and the Colonel are ever caught in a fight, my money's on the Colonel. 218 00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:14,416 He'd open a can of whoop ass with his, uh... with his good arm. 219 00:09:14,416 --> 00:09:16,625 No? You didn't like that one? I was joking around. 220 00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:17,958 - Nice to meet you. - Let's go. 221 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:18,875 Follow me. 222 00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:19,958 [Nick] Coming. Coming. 223 00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,583 [gentle music playing] 224 00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:26,083 [Nick] Sounds great! 225 00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:29,000 [Claudette] I'm assuming you've never been to an Indian wedding before. 226 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,625 - [laughing] Why would you assume that? - Oh, so you have? 227 00:09:31,625 --> 00:09:32,750 Uh, no. 228 00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:37,000 So tonight is the Sangeet. It's like a rehearsal dinner. 229 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:41,625 And then we have, um, a very dramatic surprise entrance plan 230 00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:43,750 that I think you'll find quite entertaining. 231 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,666 - [phone rings] - [Claudette] I need to take this. 232 00:09:45,666 --> 00:09:48,708 Your villa should have everything you need. Make yourselves at home. 233 00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:51,250 - And we-- - Bye! Enjoy! 234 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:53,083 - Bye. Thank you. - No more kisses. Cool. 235 00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:56,958 [sighs] She was working in a watch shop off La Place Vendôme when I met her. 236 00:09:56,958 --> 00:09:58,083 Not a penny to her name. 237 00:09:58,083 --> 00:10:00,125 Love at first sight, you know what I mean? 238 00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:02,000 She just fills me with like... [grunts] 239 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,666 - With happiness. - [Nick] That's nice. 240 00:10:03,666 --> 00:10:05,500 I see that same happiness in you two 241 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,000 when you look at each other. 242 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,875 You guys are happy, right? 243 00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:12,250 - Us? Are you kidding? - Without her, I would not be happy. 244 00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:15,083 - With her, I'm the happiest. - Not a day goes by where I just wanna go... 245 00:10:15,083 --> 00:10:16,666 [grunts] I love you so much. 246 00:10:16,666 --> 00:10:19,500 She makes every decision for us, and I'm fine with that. 247 00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:22,500 - Now get in there and have fun, all right? - [Nick] Thank you so much. 248 00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,541 - [Vik] Enjoy yourself. - Okay. Oh, so we... 249 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,541 - Okay. Bye, buddy! - [Vik] Louis, let's go. 250 00:10:26,541 --> 00:10:28,625 ["Weekend Friend" by Goth Babe playing] 251 00:10:30,541 --> 00:10:33,875 Oh my God! 252 00:10:37,416 --> 00:10:40,000 I mean, goddamn. 253 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,500 Goddamn! 254 00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,583 Look at this! Oh my God! 255 00:10:43,583 --> 00:10:45,791 - [Nick] Look at this! This! - [Audrey] Wow! 256 00:10:45,791 --> 00:10:49,583 - [Nick] Babe, the TV's gigantic! - Oh my God. 257 00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:51,458 - [Nick] Look at this thing! - [beeps] 258 00:10:51,458 --> 00:10:53,291 - [whirring] - Huh? 259 00:10:56,208 --> 00:10:57,083 What?! 260 00:10:57,625 --> 00:10:58,791 [laughing] Oh! 261 00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:00,541 We got a convertible, baby! 262 00:11:00,541 --> 00:11:03,166 Put this... in your face. 263 00:11:03,166 --> 00:11:04,166 [Nick] Mm-hmm. 264 00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:06,416 Is this unicorn cheese? 265 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,833 - Oh my God. Baby, a gift box. - Okay. 266 00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:11,875 I'm gonna go with one more piece of cheese, then I'm done with this. 267 00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:13,958 - [Audrey] What? Are these for us? - [Nick] Earrings? 268 00:11:13,958 --> 00:11:15,875 - [Audrey] Oh! - These are good ones, aren't they? 269 00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,125 I cannot believe this! 270 00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:19,458 - We get our own iPhones! - No way! 271 00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:22,000 - What did we give out at our wedding? - Oh, flip-flops! 272 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,541 Flip-flops, and we gave out Advil or some shit? 273 00:11:24,541 --> 00:11:26,750 - Vintage Air Jordans? - [Audrey] This is insane! 274 00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:27,666 [Nick] My size? 275 00:11:27,666 --> 00:11:31,583 Wouldn't be a gift box from the Maharajah if it didn't have something kinky in it. 276 00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:33,875 - Those are gonna get you in trouble. - You promise? 277 00:11:33,875 --> 00:11:37,458 - Oh! I like that response. Okay. - Hey! 278 00:11:37,458 --> 00:11:38,583 - What? - [Nick] Okay. 279 00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:40,000 [Audrey] Wait. 280 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,875 We just... This has just happened. 281 00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:44,166 - How'd they do that so fast? - It's incredible. 282 00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:46,708 {\an8}[Audrey] Honey! It says "Nick and Audrey"! 283 00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:51,125 - Oh my God! You gotta come in this bed! - [Nick] I'm coming, baby! 284 00:11:51,125 --> 00:11:53,875 - [Audrey] Oh! - [Nick] I'm coming! I'm coming! Hey! 285 00:11:53,875 --> 00:11:55,083 Oh my God! 286 00:11:55,083 --> 00:11:56,375 Ow! Baby! 287 00:11:56,375 --> 00:11:57,500 - Oh! - Oh! 288 00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,958 - Oh gosh. - All right. What? 289 00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:01,958 I don't know if I packed appropriately for this event. 290 00:12:01,958 --> 00:12:03,541 - I gotta check. - I'm coming with! 291 00:12:03,541 --> 00:12:07,041 - [Audrey] I gotta check. - [Nick] I'm coming with! Let's go! 292 00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:08,708 [gasps] 293 00:12:09,541 --> 00:12:10,375 Oh! 294 00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:14,625 - Oh my God! - Okay, that's good. 295 00:12:14,625 --> 00:12:16,250 That's your stuff. Yeah. 296 00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:17,291 Do you see this? 297 00:12:17,291 --> 00:12:18,958 - I've never seen anything-- - All right. 298 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,875 - [Audrey] Baby, you look so handsome. - I... 299 00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:35,083 I can't believe you pulled that off. 300 00:12:35,083 --> 00:12:37,708 - Well, I'm gonna pull that off. - [Audrey] Let's go. 301 00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:39,750 [Nick] Please tell me you're gonna keep that. 302 00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:42,083 ["Khadke Glassy (from "Jabariya Jodi")" playing] 303 00:12:42,083 --> 00:12:43,208 Oh my God! 304 00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:48,500 - [Audrey] Hi! - [Nick] Hey, how are ya? 305 00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:55,125 Audrey! 306 00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:57,000 - [Audrey] Ah, Colonel! - [Nick] Hey. 307 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,916 - Stunning! - Thank you! 308 00:12:58,916 --> 00:13:00,875 Oh, how handsome are you, man? 309 00:13:00,875 --> 00:13:02,750 I only have eye for you, Nick. 310 00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:05,500 Oh! You better keep it that way! All right! 311 00:13:10,291 --> 00:13:13,458 In a most beautiful place on a most beautiful night, 312 00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:16,625 you have to be the most beautiful thing of all. 313 00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:17,541 Um... 314 00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:21,750 Whoa. Okay. Definitely kissing every single finger I have. 315 00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:24,125 I have made love to more than 10,000 women. 316 00:13:24,125 --> 00:13:26,500 - [Audrey murmurs] - None as ravishing as you. 317 00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:28,458 Okay. Well, speaking of staggering numbers, 318 00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:31,041 this is my husband of 16 years. 319 00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,500 I've made love to one woman. 320 00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:35,375 - And I did it terribly, by the way. - [Audrey] All right. 321 00:13:35,375 --> 00:13:39,125 Holy sh-- This is... You're that guy, Francisco Perez, yeah? 322 00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:40,875 This guy used to be a soccer player. 323 00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:43,791 He headbutted some dude one time and put him into a coma. 324 00:13:43,791 --> 00:13:47,500 Yeah. I know. I hit him so hard, he lost his ability to blink. 325 00:13:48,416 --> 00:13:50,583 Anyway, it was so nice to meet you. So, we're go-- 326 00:13:50,583 --> 00:13:52,958 What about you? How do you know the Maharajah? 327 00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:54,625 Well, after I retired from football, 328 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,208 his father made me the chairman of the board of directors 329 00:13:57,208 --> 00:13:58,625 of Shiz-Vik, his company. 330 00:13:58,625 --> 00:14:03,291 Also, I helped him land that beautiful bride of his, the blonde. [chuckles] 331 00:14:03,791 --> 00:14:06,208 Although she has nothing on this one. My God. 332 00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:07,416 - Okay. - Okay. 333 00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:09,000 I'll see you in a second. 334 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,916 $10,000, you can have one night with her. 335 00:14:11,916 --> 00:14:13,791 I'm kidding, you sick bastard. 336 00:14:14,291 --> 00:14:16,291 [pop music playing in background] 337 00:14:19,375 --> 00:14:21,083 [woman] That's quite the plate. 338 00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:23,583 Do they not have food where you come from? 339 00:14:24,083 --> 00:14:25,583 Oh, um... 340 00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:30,750 No, you know, I just... I'm so used to my husband just eating off my plate, 341 00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:32,250 so it's sort of become a habit. 342 00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:34,708 But, no, you're absolutely right. I don't need this. 343 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:37,333 No, no, no! Don't put it back. 344 00:14:37,958 --> 00:14:39,958 - I was not gonna do that. - [woman scoffs] 345 00:14:40,541 --> 00:14:41,583 Americans. 346 00:14:42,083 --> 00:14:44,166 [scoffs] Americans. [chuckles] 347 00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:01,541 Would you care for one? 348 00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:04,458 Oh, I'm so good. Thank you. Maybe another time. 349 00:15:04,458 --> 00:15:05,541 [woman speaks Hindi] 350 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:07,375 - [Audrey] So, um... - Thank you. 351 00:15:07,375 --> 00:15:09,000 Are you on the bride's side? 352 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,291 No, I'm Saira, groom's sister. 353 00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:14,041 I did not know Vik had a sister. 354 00:15:14,041 --> 00:15:15,333 Yeah. [chuckles] 355 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:17,375 [Audrey groans] 356 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,583 - These are very low tables! - [chuckles] 357 00:15:20,375 --> 00:15:23,500 Are you reading 'cause you don't like weddings like this, or... 358 00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:26,833 No, you know, it's more that I don't like people. 359 00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:28,916 I mean, these people in particular. 360 00:15:28,916 --> 00:15:32,000 I guess as long as Claudette and your brother have fun, 361 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,250 that's all that matters. 362 00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:36,541 Right. I don't really understand how anyone gets married. 363 00:15:36,541 --> 00:15:39,791 Spending so much time with one person. Can you imagine? 364 00:15:39,791 --> 00:15:42,833 - [man coughing and wheezing] - [Audrey] Hmm... 365 00:15:42,833 --> 00:15:45,125 [coughing] 366 00:15:45,125 --> 00:15:48,875 Well, speaking of my one person, 367 00:15:49,541 --> 00:15:50,583 there he is. 368 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,125 Nick, this is Saira. 369 00:15:53,125 --> 00:15:54,458 This is Vik's sister. 370 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,125 - Would you... - [Saira] No. 371 00:15:56,125 --> 00:15:57,458 - You good? - [Audrey] She's good. 372 00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:59,333 - I am Nick. Nice to meet you. - Saira. 373 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:00,666 Love your brother, by the way. 374 00:16:00,666 --> 00:16:02,375 - He's hysterical. - [Saira] Right. 375 00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:03,500 Oh boy. 376 00:16:05,583 --> 00:16:08,416 Okay, if you're trying to seduce me, it's really not working. 377 00:16:08,416 --> 00:16:09,458 Oh my God. 378 00:16:09,458 --> 00:16:13,333 Hey, Nick. I was just thinking about your lovely wife. 379 00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:14,583 Oh, you again. 380 00:16:14,583 --> 00:16:16,291 I see you've already met Francisco. 381 00:16:16,291 --> 00:16:19,458 And I guess you're both acquainted with Vikram's harpy of a sister. 382 00:16:19,458 --> 00:16:21,708 - Did he say "herpe"? - Harpy. 383 00:16:21,708 --> 00:16:25,541 Countess! How humiliating it must be for you to see Claudette 384 00:16:25,541 --> 00:16:27,958 actually close a deal with the Maharajah. 385 00:16:27,958 --> 00:16:30,666 Ever wonder what you might have done wrong, dear? 386 00:16:30,666 --> 00:16:34,750 Ever wonder what it feels like to be tall enough to ride a rollercoaster? 387 00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:38,083 [woman snickering] 388 00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:39,875 That's Countess Sekou. 389 00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:41,625 She's Vik's ex-fiancée, 390 00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:44,208 and she's Claudette's old university roommate. 391 00:16:44,208 --> 00:16:47,458 And they're still friends? She's quite rude, by the way. 392 00:16:47,458 --> 00:16:50,708 Well, on top of all that, she's also Claudette's maid of honor. 393 00:16:50,708 --> 00:16:51,625 - [Audrey] What? - Yeah. 394 00:16:51,625 --> 00:16:55,583 [man over PA] Hope you watched the video because the dancing is about to begin! 395 00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:58,041 - What dancing? - I'm gonna fake going to the bathroom. 396 00:16:58,041 --> 00:17:00,375 - I don't dance. You dance. - I didn't get a video. Did you? 397 00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:01,833 They brought one to the room. 398 00:17:01,833 --> 00:17:03,291 - I forgot to tell you. - Thanks. 399 00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:05,625 [rhythmical drumming] 400 00:17:08,541 --> 00:17:10,291 ["King Dee Wedding" begins to play] 401 00:17:11,791 --> 00:17:13,375 [singing in Hindi] 402 00:17:29,583 --> 00:17:34,125 [man over PA] Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome the bride! 403 00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:36,541 [cheering] 404 00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:54,000 [laughing] You get 'em! 405 00:18:00,916 --> 00:18:02,333 [all exclaiming] 406 00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:04,083 [all exclaiming] 407 00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:07,583 Come with us! 408 00:18:22,583 --> 00:18:23,458 All right, come on! 409 00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,750 - Come on, baby! - [screams] 410 00:18:39,166 --> 00:18:41,416 [over PA] And now it's time! 411 00:18:41,416 --> 00:18:44,208 The moment you've all been waiting for. 412 00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:47,791 The groom, Vikram Govindan! 413 00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:48,875 [elephant trumpets] 414 00:18:48,875 --> 00:18:50,375 This is crazy! 415 00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:52,291 [music continues] 416 00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:06,416 [all gasp] 417 00:19:06,416 --> 00:19:07,500 [screaming] 418 00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,208 [clamoring] 419 00:19:09,208 --> 00:19:10,166 Brother! 420 00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:12,833 Back! Get everybody back! Get everybody back! 421 00:19:12,833 --> 00:19:13,833 [guard] Stay back! 422 00:19:13,833 --> 00:19:14,750 Vik! 423 00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:16,666 - [Nick] Okay, all right. - [Claudette shrieks] 424 00:19:17,666 --> 00:19:18,958 [Claudette] Is he dead? 425 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,458 [onlookers gasping] 426 00:19:20,458 --> 00:19:22,083 It's not him. It's not Vik. 427 00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:23,833 Oh, thank God! It's only Mr. Lou. 428 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,083 - Who did this to you? - [Claudette] Where is Vik? Hey! 429 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,250 [Audrey] Who? What? Oh my gosh! 430 00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:31,500 Where is Vik? 431 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,875 - Who did this to you? - Who was it? Do you remember? 432 00:19:33,875 --> 00:19:34,791 It was... 433 00:19:34,791 --> 00:19:37,416 [Nick] Say it. Say it. Don't die. Don't die! 434 00:19:37,416 --> 00:19:39,541 - [Audrey] Oh my gosh! - [Claudette] Where is Vik? 435 00:19:39,541 --> 00:19:41,000 [guard 1] Clear! Clear! Come on! 436 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,375 - Come on! Come on! Come on! Go! - [guard 2] Clear! 437 00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:46,416 - [Nick] This is a distraction. - [Audrey] From what? 438 00:19:47,083 --> 00:19:47,916 From the escape! 439 00:19:47,916 --> 00:19:50,000 [dramatic music playing] 440 00:20:03,083 --> 00:20:05,000 - [Colonel] Are you serious? - [shutter clicks] 441 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,083 What do you mean all communication systems are down? 442 00:20:07,083 --> 00:20:08,875 Get them up and running! 443 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:12,666 We have a security officer compromised. We need medical attention immediately. 444 00:20:12,666 --> 00:20:13,708 [sighs] Okay. 445 00:20:14,458 --> 00:20:15,500 [Vik] Help! 446 00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:18,125 Yo, you hatin’ hard on me right now, son! 447 00:20:18,125 --> 00:20:20,166 - Homeboy! - [Vik] Nick! 448 00:20:23,875 --> 00:20:25,291 [boat engine revs] 449 00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:27,250 [Vik yelling] Nick! 450 00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:29,791 This is some janky-ass shit! 451 00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:33,000 [Colonel] Lock down the island 452 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,666 until the security cameras are back online. 453 00:20:36,166 --> 00:20:38,250 All guests are to remain in their rooms. 454 00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:41,916 Oh my God. We need to get ahead of this, or our shares will plummet. 455 00:20:41,916 --> 00:20:43,166 My brother could be dead 456 00:20:43,166 --> 00:20:45,666 and the only thing you're concerned about are share prices? 457 00:20:45,666 --> 00:20:47,791 Oh! [laughs] 458 00:20:47,791 --> 00:20:51,083 How do you think our investors will react when news of this gets out, 459 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,708 you little Miss Minority Shareholder? 460 00:20:53,708 --> 00:20:56,708 Giving all her money to save the whales and heal the planet 461 00:20:56,708 --> 00:20:58,125 and all that nonsense. 462 00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:01,125 Colonel. Where is Vik? 463 00:21:01,958 --> 00:21:03,208 Where is my husband? 464 00:21:03,208 --> 00:21:05,708 [Colonel] We will find him. We will find him. 465 00:21:05,708 --> 00:21:07,583 [panting] 466 00:21:07,583 --> 00:21:09,416 The Maharajah's been kidnapped. 467 00:21:09,416 --> 00:21:10,833 - What? - [Countess] Oh my God! 468 00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:12,791 - Where did they take him? - [Nick] He's alive. 469 00:21:12,791 --> 00:21:16,125 Somebody with a machine gun threw him on a boat, and they took off. 470 00:21:16,125 --> 00:21:17,541 - How many kidnappers? - [Nick] One. 471 00:21:17,541 --> 00:21:20,000 Which means his partner is still here on the island. 472 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,458 Hold on. How do you know there were two? 473 00:21:22,458 --> 00:21:25,583 If the kidnapper had Vik and was taking him to the boat... 474 00:21:25,583 --> 00:21:28,458 Ah, someone else was leading the elephant into the tent. 475 00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:31,166 - Thank you. - There are 400 people on this island. 476 00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:32,416 That's a lot of suspects. 477 00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,666 Let us narrow it down for you, okay, Colonel? 478 00:21:34,666 --> 00:21:38,250 Claudette, how many people knew about the elephant being part of the ceremony? 479 00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:39,166 Just the board. 480 00:21:39,166 --> 00:21:42,375 Yeah, we had to sign off at the expense of transporting an elephant. 481 00:21:42,375 --> 00:21:44,375 So that means all of you. 482 00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:45,958 What are you implying? 483 00:21:45,958 --> 00:21:48,916 I think it's very obvious what I'm implying. 484 00:21:48,916 --> 00:21:51,541 - [Nick] Mm-hmm. - One of you is an accomplice to a murder. 485 00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:54,500 [mysterious music playing] 486 00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,208 - That is ridiculous! - I'm not on the board! 487 00:21:56,208 --> 00:21:59,000 Is it? You all hated my brother! 488 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,208 What? No, I... I love Vik. 489 00:22:01,208 --> 00:22:03,041 [scoffs] Oh, please! 490 00:22:03,041 --> 00:22:05,541 - You've never forgiven me. - For what? 491 00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:08,250 - Breaking up your engagement. - Oh, get over yourself. 492 00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:11,708 It was an arranged marriage between our families. 493 00:22:11,708 --> 00:22:16,041 We amicably split in order to allow for your so-called "love marriage." 494 00:22:16,041 --> 00:22:18,791 You didn't want this marriage to go through so you kidnapped him! 495 00:22:18,791 --> 00:22:20,083 You gold-digging-- 496 00:22:20,083 --> 00:22:24,333 - Ladies, stop it! - Calm down, everybody! 497 00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:27,041 - We do this for a living. It's what we do. - [Nick] It's our thing. 498 00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:28,875 - And this is not just another case. - No. 499 00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:31,000 - [Nick] This is personal. - [Audrey] Yeah, it's Vik. 500 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,208 - [Nick] He means a lot to us. - [Audrey] So we'll find out who did this. 501 00:22:34,208 --> 00:22:37,458 - [Nick] A hundred percent. - [Audrey] And find out why they did this. 502 00:22:37,458 --> 00:22:39,041 And we're gonna get Vik back, okay? 503 00:22:39,041 --> 00:22:42,625 We're gonna do this for the low, low price of $25 million. 504 00:22:42,625 --> 00:22:44,791 [silence] 505 00:22:46,041 --> 00:22:48,458 Twenty-five mil, honey. I swear to God. 506 00:22:48,458 --> 00:22:50,166 [Nick] I would've settled for ten grand. 507 00:22:50,166 --> 00:22:51,666 So insane. 508 00:22:53,250 --> 00:22:54,291 [Nick grunts] 509 00:22:54,291 --> 00:22:56,125 What are you doing? 510 00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:58,458 [Nick] I'm blocking the door so no one can get in. 511 00:22:58,458 --> 00:23:00,250 [Audrey] Honey, you're gonna hurt your back. 512 00:23:00,250 --> 00:23:03,166 You know what would hurt my back? A knife going through it. 513 00:23:03,166 --> 00:23:04,666 The killer knows we're on to him. 514 00:23:04,666 --> 00:23:06,750 We're on the next-to-kill list. I guarantee it. 515 00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:07,708 What happened to Vik? 516 00:23:07,708 --> 00:23:10,166 A guy that rich gets kidnapped for the money. 517 00:23:10,166 --> 00:23:11,791 There's no profit in hurting him. 518 00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:15,083 Oh God. We're not gonna be invited anywhere ever again. Ever again. 519 00:23:15,083 --> 00:23:17,500 The cheese has a hold on me, honey. I can't stop. 520 00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:20,708 Are you just... Will you take a slice like a civilized person? 521 00:23:20,708 --> 00:23:22,166 I don't know where the knife is. 522 00:23:22,166 --> 00:23:24,666 - Oh Jesus! - [Nick] What? You got a headache? 523 00:23:24,666 --> 00:23:26,000 - Yes! - [Nick] I'm sorry. 524 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,875 - How's your back? - My back's killing me. 525 00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:29,333 - I'll get Advil. - Please. Please. 526 00:23:29,333 --> 00:23:32,708 - I'm gonna get more cheese in me. - Honey, do not eat all that cheese. 527 00:23:32,708 --> 00:23:34,791 That affects... You're terrible all night. 528 00:23:34,791 --> 00:23:36,208 - Absolutely. - Oh. 529 00:23:36,208 --> 00:23:39,833 And I have pictures from the tent of a burned robe with bloodstains. 530 00:23:39,833 --> 00:23:41,666 Someone was trying to get rid of the evidence, 531 00:23:41,666 --> 00:23:43,875 and I'm sure it was the elephant handler. 532 00:23:43,875 --> 00:23:45,208 Good detecting, sweetheart. 533 00:23:45,208 --> 00:23:47,208 - I'm doing my best. Here. - [Nick] Okay. Thank you. 534 00:23:47,208 --> 00:23:49,250 - [Audrey] One, two, three, four. - [Nick] Okay. 535 00:23:50,166 --> 00:23:52,500 - [frantic knocking on door] - [dramatic music playing] 536 00:23:52,500 --> 00:23:54,041 [Nick] I gotta move this stuff now? 537 00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:55,333 What if that's the killer? 538 00:23:55,333 --> 00:23:57,666 - Killers don't knock. - What if it's housekeeping? 539 00:23:57,666 --> 00:24:00,375 We... We're good! We don't need any towels. 540 00:24:00,375 --> 00:24:03,208 No! No! We do need towels. Leave 'em out front, please! 541 00:24:03,208 --> 00:24:05,333 We've been here ten minutes. You need more towels? 542 00:24:05,333 --> 00:24:07,166 You use 30 towels after every shower. 543 00:24:07,166 --> 00:24:08,666 I'm sorry. At least I shower. 544 00:24:08,666 --> 00:24:10,041 All right, you got me there. 545 00:24:10,041 --> 00:24:11,958 [Francisco] It's me, Francisco! 546 00:24:11,958 --> 00:24:12,958 Francisco? 547 00:24:12,958 --> 00:24:15,083 Wait, wait, wait. What if he's the killer? 548 00:24:15,083 --> 00:24:17,583 The only thing he wants to murder is your hm-hm! 549 00:24:17,583 --> 00:24:18,500 Hey! 550 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,875 - [Francisco] Hurry! There's no time! - [Nick] Be right there! 551 00:24:20,875 --> 00:24:22,666 - [Audrey] We're hurrying! - [Nick] We know! 552 00:24:25,291 --> 00:24:26,208 So sorry. 553 00:24:26,208 --> 00:24:27,458 - [Nick] Hey. - Hey. 554 00:24:29,291 --> 00:24:30,750 - You. - [Nick] Mm-hmm. 555 00:24:31,375 --> 00:24:32,375 Gorgeous. 556 00:24:33,750 --> 00:24:35,416 [Nick] Jesus Christ. All right. 557 00:24:36,166 --> 00:24:37,708 [Audrey] Put this back. You said hurry. 558 00:24:37,708 --> 00:24:39,750 What's... How can we help? 559 00:24:39,750 --> 00:24:41,500 - I have information. - [Nick] Yes. 560 00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:43,791 Everyone thinks Claudette is this gold digger, 561 00:24:43,791 --> 00:24:47,500 but what's not so well known is the fact that, as a precaution, 562 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:50,625 the board made her sign a brutal prenup. 563 00:24:50,625 --> 00:24:55,250 So that means if Vik divorces her, she's left with nothin'. 564 00:24:56,250 --> 00:24:58,291 [dramatic music swells] 565 00:24:58,291 --> 00:25:01,375 - I gotta move this shit again? - Wait. Wait. Who is it? 566 00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:03,875 [Claudette] It's Claudette. You must hear what I have to say. 567 00:25:03,875 --> 00:25:05,458 Okay, one second. 568 00:25:05,458 --> 00:25:06,875 Let's get you in the closet. 569 00:25:06,875 --> 00:25:09,250 [Nick] Okay, be right there. I gotta get some cheese. 570 00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:11,458 - Okay. Just go in there. - [rock scraping floor] 571 00:25:11,458 --> 00:25:13,708 No! Get off of... Jesus! 572 00:25:13,708 --> 00:25:15,541 - Coming, Claudette! - Sorry! One second. 573 00:25:15,541 --> 00:25:17,208 [breathing heavily] 574 00:25:17,208 --> 00:25:18,125 [Nick] Hurry! 575 00:25:18,875 --> 00:25:20,708 - [Audrey] Hello, Claudette. - [Nick] Hi. 576 00:25:20,708 --> 00:25:22,083 [Claudette sighs] 577 00:25:23,166 --> 00:25:24,958 [Claudette] They all think I'm marrying Vik 578 00:25:24,958 --> 00:25:26,916 just for the money, especially the Countess. 579 00:25:27,875 --> 00:25:29,791 She's been jealous of me ever since we met. 580 00:25:29,791 --> 00:25:31,916 - Really? I can imagine why. - I can imagine. 581 00:25:31,916 --> 00:25:34,333 But still, she was my best friend. 582 00:25:34,333 --> 00:25:35,416 - Right. - [Nick] Sure. 583 00:25:35,416 --> 00:25:36,708 - You know? - Yeah. 584 00:25:36,708 --> 00:25:38,666 - We were so close. - [Audrey] Oh! 585 00:25:38,666 --> 00:25:40,833 And I think I just miss her sometimes. 586 00:25:41,416 --> 00:25:44,541 - Oh, sorry. - [Claudette sobbing] 587 00:25:44,541 --> 00:25:47,458 - I just wanna know who kidnapped my Vik. - Mm-hmm. 588 00:25:47,458 --> 00:25:49,708 They all have something to gain from this. 589 00:25:49,708 --> 00:25:52,875 Pfft! 590 00:25:52,875 --> 00:25:55,208 - Terrible. - [Claudette] I can't trust any of them! 591 00:25:55,208 --> 00:25:56,791 - [whispers] There's a gun. - A gun? 592 00:25:56,791 --> 00:25:59,041 [Claudette] The Colonel, so bitter about his demotion. 593 00:25:59,041 --> 00:26:01,375 Saira, always starved for attention. 594 00:26:02,041 --> 00:26:04,500 And Vik had just discovered 595 00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:06,166 Francisco's dark secret. 596 00:26:06,166 --> 00:26:08,000 - [Audrey] What? - [Nick] He had a secret? 597 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,458 - Oh! - [Nick] Oh God. 598 00:26:09,458 --> 00:26:10,750 - [cocks gun] - [Audrey gasps] 599 00:26:10,750 --> 00:26:13,208 - [Audrey] We don't need to do that. - [Nick] That's cool. 600 00:26:13,208 --> 00:26:14,208 Who is it? 601 00:26:14,208 --> 00:26:15,583 It's Saira. Let me in. 602 00:26:15,583 --> 00:26:16,666 Uh, okay. One second. 603 00:26:16,666 --> 00:26:18,500 - I need to hide. The closet! - No, no, no! 604 00:26:18,500 --> 00:26:20,375 - [Nick] It's too dark. - Here. Come on. 605 00:26:20,375 --> 00:26:22,500 - [Nick] She has all her stuff. - One second, Saira! 606 00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:23,833 [Nick] Coming! Be right there! 607 00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:26,041 [Nick straining] 608 00:26:26,041 --> 00:26:27,875 Okay, gotta get to you! 609 00:26:27,875 --> 00:26:30,666 - So sorry. One second. - Moving around some stuff for fun! 610 00:26:31,875 --> 00:26:34,125 - I know who you need to be looking at. - [Nick] Who? 611 00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:35,708 - Claudette! - [Nick] Claudette? 612 00:26:35,708 --> 00:26:38,333 [Saira] I told Vik she was bad news the minute I met her. 613 00:26:38,333 --> 00:26:40,250 She's suspicious, narcissistic, manipulative, 614 00:26:40,250 --> 00:26:42,458 and looks cheap as well in that red dress-- 615 00:26:42,458 --> 00:26:45,916 Excuse me! I'm so sorry to interrupt, but I feel like I'd be a rude hostess 616 00:26:45,916 --> 00:26:49,250 if I didn't offer you a piece of this exquisite artisan cheese that's... 617 00:26:49,250 --> 00:26:51,875 Nick, where's this... Where's that cheese? The big-- 618 00:26:51,875 --> 00:26:53,333 - The cheese is gone. - Where is it? 619 00:26:53,333 --> 00:26:54,541 I put it, uh, in my stomach. 620 00:26:54,541 --> 00:26:56,291 You ate that entire block of cheese? 621 00:26:56,291 --> 00:26:59,791 Trying to shame me. I don't know if that's gonna get the cheese back-- 622 00:26:59,791 --> 00:27:01,916 I'm sorry. I don't mean to be selfish-- 623 00:27:01,916 --> 00:27:03,375 Sorry. Hold on. You know what? 624 00:27:03,375 --> 00:27:07,291 Let me give you a drink right now just to relax you a little bit. 625 00:27:07,291 --> 00:27:08,541 - Here. - I... I don't want that. 626 00:27:08,541 --> 00:27:10,500 - No? Okay. - I'm okay. 627 00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:11,666 [frantic knocking] 628 00:27:11,666 --> 00:27:13,875 - Oh shit. - [Saira] Who is it? 629 00:27:13,875 --> 00:27:15,666 - [Audrey] Not sure. - You expecting someone? 630 00:27:15,666 --> 00:27:18,000 It's like an after-party. People just show up. 631 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,083 Let's put you into the bedroom, just in case, 'cause I don't know. 632 00:27:21,083 --> 00:27:23,333 - I'll hide there. - Don't hide in there! Why? 633 00:27:23,333 --> 00:27:24,333 That's an obvious spot. 634 00:27:24,333 --> 00:27:26,625 - [Audrey] Is it hot in here? - I'm hot too. 635 00:27:26,625 --> 00:27:28,166 - I'm coming! - [knocking continues] 636 00:27:28,166 --> 00:27:29,500 What if that is the killer? 637 00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:32,583 Don't you kinda want it to be the killer so they can kill us? 638 00:27:32,583 --> 00:27:33,916 I am sick of this shit. 639 00:27:33,916 --> 00:27:35,916 - Baby, I do not feel very good. - [rock scraping] 640 00:27:35,916 --> 00:27:37,250 [lock clicking] 641 00:27:37,250 --> 00:27:39,583 What's doin'? Yeah? 642 00:27:40,375 --> 00:27:42,083 Hey, great to see you. 643 00:27:42,083 --> 00:27:44,000 What's going on? [chuckles lightly] 644 00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:47,166 [door closes] 645 00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:48,500 [Countess] I know who did it. 646 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:49,666 Who? 647 00:27:51,916 --> 00:27:53,250 It was Francisco. 648 00:27:53,250 --> 00:27:54,666 Francisco! 649 00:27:54,666 --> 00:27:58,000 He has had over 85 paternity suits filed against him. 650 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,250 We suspect he's been siphoning money out of the company 651 00:28:00,250 --> 00:28:02,875 in order to pay for all of these babies he made. 652 00:28:02,875 --> 00:28:04,708 That's a lie! 653 00:28:04,708 --> 00:28:06,125 Not the part about the babies. 654 00:28:06,125 --> 00:28:09,083 Yes, that's true. I've spread my seed far and wide, 655 00:28:09,083 --> 00:28:11,916 but I have never stolen in my life. 656 00:28:11,916 --> 00:28:14,416 - What are you doing here? - An excellent question. 657 00:28:14,416 --> 00:28:17,083 - What are you all doing here? - Saira's here. 658 00:28:18,125 --> 00:28:20,333 - Nobody move! - Oh my God! 659 00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:21,375 I ain't moving. 660 00:28:21,375 --> 00:28:22,916 [cell phone ringing] 661 00:28:23,875 --> 00:28:24,791 It's mine. It's mine. 662 00:28:26,291 --> 00:28:27,750 - I missed it. - [Nick] Missed the call? 663 00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:29,208 [phone beeping] 664 00:28:29,916 --> 00:28:30,916 I have a message. 665 00:28:34,208 --> 00:28:35,916 [distorted voice] We have the Maharajah. 666 00:28:36,416 --> 00:28:39,250 If you contact the authorities, he dies. 667 00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:41,541 We'll make our demands known to you at 7:00 a.m. 668 00:28:41,541 --> 00:28:42,583 [call disconnects] 669 00:28:42,583 --> 00:28:45,458 That voice is hysterical. You got to admit it. 670 00:28:45,458 --> 00:28:47,625 So we should all stay here. Correct, Colonel? 671 00:28:47,625 --> 00:28:51,166 Because one of us is definitely working with the kidnapper. 672 00:28:51,166 --> 00:28:55,041 Yeah. Motives, opportunities. 673 00:28:55,041 --> 00:28:56,375 Somebody here. 674 00:28:56,375 --> 00:28:58,541 My head is spinning a little bit. 675 00:28:58,541 --> 00:28:59,958 Honey? 676 00:29:00,750 --> 00:29:04,583 Babe, are you taking a nap? I'm tired, too, so let's, uh... 677 00:29:05,416 --> 00:29:07,791 Nobody leave here until we figure out who did what. 678 00:29:07,791 --> 00:29:09,291 It's great to see everybody. 679 00:29:09,291 --> 00:29:11,750 - Thanks for coming over. Sorry, my bad. - [Francisco] Whoa! 680 00:29:15,375 --> 00:29:17,291 [inhales deeply] 681 00:29:17,291 --> 00:29:20,208 [sighing] Hmm! 682 00:29:24,500 --> 00:29:26,833 [Audrey groaning] 683 00:29:27,375 --> 00:29:29,541 [yelps] Jesus! What? 684 00:29:31,250 --> 00:29:32,541 Oh my God. Nick? 685 00:29:32,541 --> 00:29:34,000 - [Nick] Yeah. - Nick? 686 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000 [Nick] Yeah? 687 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,791 - [Audrey] Nick! - Uh-huh. 688 00:29:36,791 --> 00:29:39,541 Nicky, honey. Get up. Get up! We got roofied. 689 00:29:39,541 --> 00:29:42,458 - What happened? - [Audrey] Baby. Oh my God! We fell asleep! 690 00:29:42,458 --> 00:29:43,750 - [Nick] Oh yeah? - Honey! 691 00:29:43,750 --> 00:29:44,833 [Nick] We're sleeping now. 692 00:29:44,833 --> 00:29:47,375 I don't know what happened. Uh, I... 693 00:29:47,375 --> 00:29:49,625 - Come on! Get up, Nick! - [Nick] Okay. Up. I'm up. 694 00:29:49,625 --> 00:29:50,708 [Audrey] Who did this? 695 00:29:50,708 --> 00:29:52,958 [Nick] What? Now they're just showing off. 696 00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:56,375 - [Audrey] Hurry up! - [Nick] Okay, I'm coming, honey. So... 697 00:29:56,375 --> 00:29:58,125 - [Audrey] Get up! - [Nick] I'm up! 698 00:29:58,875 --> 00:30:02,000 - Calm down before you say anything. - Nobody drugs us and gets away with it! 699 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,666 - Maybe they didn't drug us. - It's illegal! 700 00:30:03,666 --> 00:30:04,958 Maybe we just ate too much. 701 00:30:04,958 --> 00:30:08,083 - That's why we passed out. - Nick. Audrey. Just in time. 702 00:30:08,666 --> 00:30:09,916 - For what? - For what? 703 00:30:09,916 --> 00:30:12,000 The real detectives have just arrived. 704 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,166 [intense music playing] 705 00:30:18,125 --> 00:30:19,291 [Colonel] Connor Miller. 706 00:30:19,291 --> 00:30:22,625 - [Audrey gasps] - Former MI6 hostage negotiator. 707 00:30:22,625 --> 00:30:25,750 Oh my God. Specializes in high-profile cases. 708 00:30:25,750 --> 00:30:28,250 He got the President of Uruguay's son back from the cartel. 709 00:30:28,250 --> 00:30:30,208 - He wrote the book. He wrote the book. - On what? 710 00:30:30,208 --> 00:30:32,416 How Rogaine doesn't work for everybody? 711 00:30:32,416 --> 00:30:34,416 The book! Our course detective book! 712 00:30:36,416 --> 00:30:38,916 [Miller] Greetings. I hear you need a case solved. 713 00:30:40,208 --> 00:30:42,333 Colonel. Been a long time. 714 00:30:42,916 --> 00:30:44,333 Francisco Perez. 715 00:30:44,333 --> 00:30:45,583 Huh? 716 00:30:45,583 --> 00:30:46,750 Big fan. 717 00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:47,916 - Oh. - Hey. 718 00:30:47,916 --> 00:30:51,291 Mr. Miller, we're also very big fans. Um, we can bring you up to speed. 719 00:30:51,291 --> 00:30:54,666 So what we know already is that this is at least a two-person job. 720 00:30:54,666 --> 00:30:58,375 I saw the first guy escape with Vik on a boat, 721 00:30:58,375 --> 00:31:00,375 leaving the second guy still on the island. 722 00:31:00,375 --> 00:31:03,166 Also, just so you know, we were both drugged last night. 723 00:31:03,166 --> 00:31:05,666 I don't know if we were drugged. We did have a few drinks-- 724 00:31:05,666 --> 00:31:07,250 - You must be the Spitzes. - Yes. 725 00:31:07,250 --> 00:31:08,833 Yes, we are! 726 00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:10,666 Your reputations precede you. 727 00:31:10,666 --> 00:31:11,958 - There you go. - Why, thank you. 728 00:31:11,958 --> 00:31:14,875 - That's nice to hear. - Uh, not in a positive way, I'm afraid. 729 00:31:14,875 --> 00:31:16,000 Okay. 730 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:19,125 I understand the last time you were involved in something like this, 731 00:31:19,125 --> 00:31:20,333 everybody died? 732 00:31:20,333 --> 00:31:22,625 Well, that was not the Maharajah. 733 00:31:22,625 --> 00:31:24,125 How's he doing now? 734 00:31:24,125 --> 00:31:25,375 - [laughs] Okay. - Right. 735 00:31:25,375 --> 00:31:28,041 The Colonel's still here, most of him, so there. That's good. 736 00:31:28,041 --> 00:31:30,708 Um, listen. Mr. Miller, I read your book, and-- 737 00:31:30,708 --> 00:31:33,000 [Miller] Colonel, I wanna see all the security footage. 738 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,208 All the footage was wiped from the mainframe. 739 00:31:35,208 --> 00:31:36,791 Yeah, 'cause it's an inside job. 740 00:31:36,791 --> 00:31:37,833 Mademoiselle Joubert, 741 00:31:37,833 --> 00:31:40,333 we'll need your phone for a vocal analysis of the voice mail. 742 00:31:40,333 --> 00:31:41,541 Of course. Anything you need. 743 00:31:41,541 --> 00:31:45,125 They're professional, no doubt. They were concise and brief on the phone. 744 00:31:45,125 --> 00:31:46,375 We also have reason to believe 745 00:31:46,375 --> 00:31:49,250 that the inside man was posing as an elephant handler. 746 00:31:50,458 --> 00:31:52,708 You really wanna do suspects now, Mrs. Spitz? 747 00:31:52,708 --> 00:31:54,000 - Sure. - [Miller] Fine. 748 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,916 How about this? Uh... 749 00:31:55,916 --> 00:31:58,708 A husband and wife, one an NYPD almost-detective, 750 00:31:58,708 --> 00:32:01,375 the other a hairdresser taking online classes. 751 00:32:01,375 --> 00:32:03,875 Together they run a private detective agency 752 00:32:03,875 --> 00:32:05,625 teetering on the edge of bankruptcy. 753 00:32:05,625 --> 00:32:07,083 And if I were to hazard a guess, 754 00:32:07,083 --> 00:32:09,375 I'd say it's probably taking a toll on their marriage. 755 00:32:09,958 --> 00:32:12,250 Desperate to give validity to their failing business, 756 00:32:12,250 --> 00:32:16,125 they accept a last-minute invite from a billionaire to attend his wedding. 757 00:32:16,125 --> 00:32:17,625 And so a plan is born. 758 00:32:17,625 --> 00:32:21,125 Twenty-four hours after their arrival, there's a high-profile kidnapping, 759 00:32:21,125 --> 00:32:22,708 the sort that gets attention. 760 00:32:22,708 --> 00:32:24,208 A career maker. 761 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,583 How's my reasoning, fellow... detectives? 762 00:32:28,583 --> 00:32:30,833 - Pretty excellent. None of it was true. - Gorgeous. 763 00:32:30,833 --> 00:32:33,416 I was starting to go with it 'cause of the way you phrase things. 764 00:32:33,416 --> 00:32:35,166 - I almost believed him. - The accent helps. 765 00:32:35,750 --> 00:32:38,458 Call trace is ready. Kidnappers should be calling in any minute. 766 00:32:38,458 --> 00:32:40,208 If you'll excuse me, I have a job to do. 767 00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,833 - Okay, so listen. - [Audrey] Yes, honey. 768 00:32:41,833 --> 00:32:45,166 We got good cheese. We got free iPhones. I'm happy with everything. 769 00:32:45,166 --> 00:32:48,333 Where are you going? Did you hear what that guy just said about us? 770 00:32:48,333 --> 00:32:50,041 - [Nick] Yeah. - None of that's true! 771 00:32:50,041 --> 00:32:53,250 We need to show those people what Nick and Audrey Spitz are all about. 772 00:32:53,250 --> 00:32:55,333 The guy's good! I don't think he needs us. 773 00:32:55,333 --> 00:32:56,833 - Nick. Audrey. - [both] What? 774 00:32:56,833 --> 00:32:59,791 The kidnapper says he'll only talk to the man he shot at. 775 00:32:59,791 --> 00:33:01,666 They need us. All right. They need us. 776 00:33:01,666 --> 00:33:02,666 - Let's go! - Let's go! 777 00:33:02,666 --> 00:33:04,041 [dramatic music playing] 778 00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:07,125 - [machines beeping] - [Colonel] They're here. 779 00:33:09,125 --> 00:33:11,041 - [Miller] He's calling back in a minute. - Okay. 780 00:33:11,041 --> 00:33:13,208 You need to keep him calm, keep him talking. 781 00:33:13,208 --> 00:33:14,833 - We need at least-- - Forty-five seconds. 782 00:33:14,833 --> 00:33:18,166 - I know. It's not my first rodeo, pal. - You've done hostage negotiation? 783 00:33:18,166 --> 00:33:21,291 I'm married to this lady. Everything's a negotiation. I got it. 784 00:33:21,291 --> 00:33:22,291 Appreciate it. 785 00:33:22,291 --> 00:33:23,333 [cell phone ringing] 786 00:33:23,333 --> 00:33:25,500 [tense music playing] 787 00:33:28,333 --> 00:33:29,250 [Nick sighs] 788 00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:32,708 So 45 seconds, and it starts... now. 789 00:33:33,458 --> 00:33:35,708 Hi. Kidnapper, how are you? 790 00:33:35,708 --> 00:33:38,708 [kidnapper] Is this the man who tried to stop me on my escape? 791 00:33:38,708 --> 00:33:40,916 Yes, yes, yes, the man you shot at. 792 00:33:40,916 --> 00:33:43,625 Luckily, I got out of the way. [chuckles] 793 00:33:43,625 --> 00:33:46,083 Tell me what we can do to get Vik back safely. 794 00:33:46,083 --> 00:33:47,708 That's all we really care about. 795 00:33:47,708 --> 00:33:51,208 [kidnapper] For the return of the Maharajah, we require $50 million. 796 00:33:51,208 --> 00:33:52,125 [splutters] 797 00:33:52,125 --> 00:33:54,000 Fifty putos millones? 798 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,208 - Sh! - [line clicks] 799 00:33:55,208 --> 00:33:56,833 [alarm beeps] 800 00:33:56,833 --> 00:34:00,083 Francisco, you think this is The Price Is Right, screaming out numbers? 801 00:34:00,083 --> 00:34:01,958 Way too much money for just one guy. 802 00:34:01,958 --> 00:34:04,041 Great. Just lost the trace. Thanks. 803 00:34:04,041 --> 00:34:07,125 - It's my fault? This guy's yelling shit-- - Why are you yelling at me? 804 00:34:07,125 --> 00:34:09,125 - You were directing at me-- - I yelled at that guy! 805 00:34:09,125 --> 00:34:12,125 The guy's hammered right now, and I'm catching shit for it! 806 00:34:12,125 --> 00:34:14,375 There's the "taking-a-toll-on-the-marriage" thing. 807 00:34:14,375 --> 00:34:16,291 Excuse me! At least we are married. 808 00:34:16,291 --> 00:34:19,416 Yeah. Calm down. This is how we communicate. We're from New York. 809 00:34:19,416 --> 00:34:20,958 Can we remain calm? 810 00:34:20,958 --> 00:34:22,583 - I'm sorry. Of course. - We're calm. 811 00:34:22,583 --> 00:34:23,958 He wants the money. He's gonna call back. 812 00:34:23,958 --> 00:34:25,166 - [Audrey] Relax. - [Nick] Yup. 813 00:34:25,166 --> 00:34:27,000 - [phone ringing] - [Nick] Here we go. Okay. 814 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,416 - [Miller] Here we go. - Got this! 815 00:34:28,416 --> 00:34:31,041 Forty-five seconds starts again now. 816 00:34:31,041 --> 00:34:33,708 Sorry about that, man. A lot of anxious people here. 817 00:34:33,708 --> 00:34:35,833 One drunk guy. We all got that friend. 818 00:34:35,833 --> 00:34:37,708 [kidnapper] The price just went up to 60. 819 00:34:37,708 --> 00:34:39,166 [groaning] 820 00:34:39,166 --> 00:34:41,000 They say, "Great. No problem." 821 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,333 [kidnapper] You will bring $60 million in untraceable bearer bonds 822 00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:47,541 to the Arc de Triomphe in Paris at 8:00 p.m. tomorrow night 823 00:34:47,541 --> 00:34:50,250 and wait with this phone for further instructions. 824 00:34:50,250 --> 00:34:52,750 Hello, excuse me. I'm so sorry to interrupt. 825 00:34:52,750 --> 00:34:58,541 But we are going to need unequivocal evidence that the hostage is still alive. 826 00:34:58,541 --> 00:35:01,458 [kidnapper] You will receive proof of life before the exchange. 827 00:35:01,458 --> 00:35:03,041 - Cool. - Thank you very much. 828 00:35:03,041 --> 00:35:06,708 [kidnapper] Arc de Triomphe, 8:00 p.m., or the Maharajah dies. 829 00:35:07,291 --> 00:35:10,875 The voice jumbling thing you got on your... It's hard to understand you. 830 00:35:10,875 --> 00:35:13,458 - The location, yes. - Can you do that again? Where is it? 831 00:35:13,458 --> 00:35:16,416 - [kidnapper] Arc de Triomphe. - [Nick] This is what you sound like... 832 00:35:16,416 --> 00:35:18,208 [Nick imitating distorted voice] 833 00:35:18,208 --> 00:35:20,666 - [Nick] That's what we hear. - [kidnapper] Arc de Triomphe! 834 00:35:20,666 --> 00:35:22,625 Okay, so Arctic Tree Hump. 835 00:35:23,333 --> 00:35:24,791 Got it. You said that, right? 836 00:35:24,791 --> 00:35:26,875 [kidnapper] The price just went up to 70 now! 837 00:35:26,875 --> 00:35:27,791 [sobbing] 838 00:35:27,791 --> 00:35:31,208 [kidnapper] Seventy million, or the Maharajah dies a painful death. 839 00:35:31,208 --> 00:35:32,833 Muhammad Ali dies, you say? 840 00:35:32,833 --> 00:35:34,500 - [kidnapper] Oh my God! - [disconnects] 841 00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:39,208 You just cost us 20 extra million, you doofus! 842 00:35:39,208 --> 00:35:41,083 I don't want these buffoons involved. 843 00:35:41,083 --> 00:35:43,583 I'm afraid the kidnapper does, so we're stuck with them. 844 00:35:43,583 --> 00:35:45,583 They did it. Got the trace. 845 00:35:45,583 --> 00:35:47,041 - We did? - Aha! 846 00:35:47,041 --> 00:35:49,166 - See? Team Buffoon wins again! - Thank you! 847 00:35:49,166 --> 00:35:52,125 You can go back in the ocean now, Miller. We got this. 848 00:35:52,125 --> 00:35:55,625 We're going to Paris. Everybody pack. Be ready to leave in one hour. 849 00:35:55,625 --> 00:35:59,000 ♪ Paris, Paris, Paris Paris, Paris, Paris... ♪ 850 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,125 ["Mermaids Club" by The Brave Mermaids playing] 851 00:36:01,833 --> 00:36:02,666 Wow! 852 00:36:05,208 --> 00:36:07,958 [Nick] Let's go and do some sightseeing after the ransom paying. 853 00:36:07,958 --> 00:36:09,416 - Can we do that? - [Nick] Of course! 854 00:36:09,416 --> 00:36:11,958 Can we just... You know what? After we get Vik back, 855 00:36:11,958 --> 00:36:14,833 we could go and renew our vows at Love Locks Bridge. 856 00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:17,333 It's a date. 857 00:36:17,875 --> 00:36:19,458 I'm gonna need your phones. 858 00:36:19,458 --> 00:36:20,791 - Need our phones? - Why? 859 00:36:20,791 --> 00:36:23,208 - [Miller] They're compromised. - Oh, okay. 860 00:36:23,208 --> 00:36:26,416 We'll get 'em back, right? These are brand-new. We got 'em for free. 861 00:36:26,416 --> 00:36:28,458 In the gift bags. They gave 'em to us-- 862 00:36:28,458 --> 00:36:29,416 [booming] 863 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,333 - Can't believe that happened. - We're not getting them back. 864 00:36:32,333 --> 00:36:34,500 I had a dick pic on mine, but that's gone. 865 00:36:34,500 --> 00:36:36,333 [Miller] Let's not obsess about phones. 866 00:36:36,333 --> 00:36:39,500 The only important phone is the one the kidnapper will call on. Here. 867 00:36:39,500 --> 00:36:43,208 I set it up so we can hear everything. I'm gonna need one of you to be armed. 868 00:36:43,208 --> 00:36:45,583 - Mr. Spitz, can you handle a gun? - [Nick] Yes. 869 00:36:45,583 --> 00:36:47,541 - I told you, I was on the force. What? - Um... 870 00:36:47,541 --> 00:36:49,708 [hesitates] I just think maybe I should handle it. 871 00:36:49,708 --> 00:36:51,166 - You should handle it? - Just-- 872 00:36:51,166 --> 00:36:52,500 - Why would that-- - Your aim is-- 873 00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:53,958 My aim? My aim is fine. 874 00:36:53,958 --> 00:36:55,958 - Why are you saying this? - He can't hear-- 875 00:36:55,958 --> 00:36:58,875 That's like me saying you wear Spanx in front of a supermodel. 876 00:36:58,875 --> 00:37:02,375 So, uh, I'll take the gun 'cause I'm very good with a gun. 877 00:37:02,375 --> 00:37:05,541 They used to call me "Nicky Guns" on the force. That was my nickname. 878 00:37:05,541 --> 00:37:09,666 Gang members used to ask me for advice on the weekends 'cause I shot so well. 879 00:37:09,666 --> 00:37:11,583 I'd say, "I can't. I don't wanna help you guys." 880 00:37:11,583 --> 00:37:12,666 You take the gun. 881 00:37:12,666 --> 00:37:15,333 I'll take the gun. I got the phone, and you got the money. 882 00:37:15,333 --> 00:37:18,458 When they call, I want you to follow the three rules of ransom drops 883 00:37:18,458 --> 00:37:19,833 from Chapter 12 of my book. 884 00:37:19,833 --> 00:37:21,708 Can you do that? Remember what they are? 885 00:37:21,708 --> 00:37:25,666 Number one. Um, follow all reasonable instructions. 886 00:37:25,666 --> 00:37:26,958 - Yes. - [Audrey] Number two. 887 00:37:26,958 --> 00:37:31,041 Do not hand off the ransom until you see the kidnappee. 888 00:37:31,041 --> 00:37:31,958 [Miller] Exactly. 889 00:37:31,958 --> 00:37:36,083 And number three. Do not go to a secondary location with them. 890 00:37:36,666 --> 00:37:38,333 Perfect. You'll be fine. 891 00:37:38,333 --> 00:37:39,625 Off you go. 892 00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:41,750 - Okay. - "Nicky Guns" style. Let's go! 893 00:37:41,750 --> 00:37:43,833 [tense music playing] 894 00:37:49,416 --> 00:37:51,500 - Cool. - I'm gonna hand you this. 895 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,666 You gotta tell me who on earth ever called you "Nicky Guns." 896 00:37:54,666 --> 00:37:57,958 You gotta tell me who didn't call me that. Everybody called me that. 897 00:37:57,958 --> 00:37:59,708 This is the heaviest goddamn 898 00:37:59,708 --> 00:38:01,125 case of money I've ever felt. 899 00:38:01,125 --> 00:38:03,166 Why couldn't they Venmo? This thing weighs... 900 00:38:03,166 --> 00:38:04,625 My hands are killing me. 901 00:38:04,625 --> 00:38:06,708 I'm gonna go two hands. Does that look weird? 902 00:38:06,708 --> 00:38:09,458 - [Audrey] Your hands are cute. - [Nick] "Cute"? What does that mean? 903 00:38:09,458 --> 00:38:11,916 - You have cute hands. - Your family has orangutan ha-- 904 00:38:11,916 --> 00:38:14,000 You grew up thinking giant hands are normal. 905 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,458 [Audrey] I never said dainty hands. 906 00:38:15,458 --> 00:38:18,041 I said it's weird to high-five you 'cause your hands are little. 907 00:38:18,041 --> 00:38:19,666 [Nick] They're average hands. 908 00:38:19,666 --> 00:38:22,041 - Your grandmother can palm a bulldog. - [Audrey] Oh, please. 909 00:38:22,041 --> 00:38:22,958 [phone ringing] 910 00:38:22,958 --> 00:38:24,833 Shit, shit, shit. That's the phone. 911 00:38:24,833 --> 00:38:26,041 Okay, here we go. 912 00:38:26,041 --> 00:38:27,583 Initiate the trace. 913 00:38:27,583 --> 00:38:33,166 Hi. Bonjour, uh, madame or mademoiselle or monsieur. Go ahead. 914 00:38:33,166 --> 00:38:34,250 [Vik] Nick, it's me! 915 00:38:34,250 --> 00:38:35,333 [screams] 916 00:38:35,333 --> 00:38:36,500 [Nick] Rajah! You okay? 917 00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:39,958 So we got the money, and we just need to know where to bring it. 918 00:38:39,958 --> 00:38:42,083 So tell us, and we'll get you out of there. 919 00:38:42,083 --> 00:38:43,791 - [Vik yelps] - What happened? 920 00:38:43,791 --> 00:38:47,416 [kidnapper] You have your proof of life. Now take the money to the van at the curb. 921 00:38:47,416 --> 00:38:48,416 Okay. 922 00:38:48,416 --> 00:38:50,791 - Wh-- Wh-- What van? - Van? 923 00:38:50,791 --> 00:38:52,958 What van are we talking about? That van there? 924 00:38:52,958 --> 00:38:55,916 [kidnapper] Don't point, you idiot! Just casually walk in that direction. 925 00:38:55,916 --> 00:38:57,208 Okay. Okay. I'm coming. 926 00:38:57,208 --> 00:38:59,791 [kidnapper] Anything out of the ordinary, and the Maharajah dies. 927 00:38:59,791 --> 00:39:01,583 Don't do that. Okay, we're coming. 928 00:39:02,250 --> 00:39:03,625 We gotta go to the van. 929 00:39:03,625 --> 00:39:05,333 - That van? - No! Don't point. 930 00:39:05,333 --> 00:39:06,875 He doesn't like pointing. That van. 931 00:39:09,083 --> 00:39:09,916 Oh shit. 932 00:39:09,916 --> 00:39:11,416 Get in the van. 933 00:39:11,416 --> 00:39:14,291 We'll give you the money in exchange for the Maharajah. 934 00:39:14,291 --> 00:39:15,291 He's not far. 935 00:39:15,291 --> 00:39:17,166 Get in the van. 936 00:39:17,166 --> 00:39:19,625 - Don't get in the van! - [Claudette speaking French] 937 00:39:19,625 --> 00:39:22,458 - That wasn't part of the deal. - Number three. Don't get in the van. 938 00:39:22,458 --> 00:39:25,333 Get in the van, or I'll shoot you both in the stomach, 939 00:39:25,333 --> 00:39:28,083 take you to the countryside, and feed you to the swine. 940 00:39:28,083 --> 00:39:30,458 - Okay. Let's get in the van. - Okay, okay, okay. 941 00:39:30,458 --> 00:39:32,125 Okay, sorry. Yes, yes, yes, yes. 942 00:39:36,958 --> 00:39:38,583 Stupid Americans. 943 00:39:39,375 --> 00:39:40,250 [scoffs] 944 00:39:46,375 --> 00:39:48,083 - Give us the money! - Give you the money. 945 00:39:48,083 --> 00:39:50,500 - All right. You got it. - Just give him the money! 946 00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:52,375 - One second. - I do have these too. 947 00:39:52,375 --> 00:39:53,708 What the fuck? 948 00:39:53,708 --> 00:39:56,500 I brought these for us in case we wanted to celebrate after, 949 00:39:56,500 --> 00:39:58,166 but I'm gonna change the plans. 950 00:39:58,166 --> 00:40:02,166 So what I'll do is put this on here, and I'll put this on here. 951 00:40:02,875 --> 00:40:05,125 This goes wherever we go now. 952 00:40:05,125 --> 00:40:07,375 You understand? I don't know where the-- 953 00:40:07,375 --> 00:40:08,791 - No! 954 00:40:08,791 --> 00:40:10,166 - What happened? - Hello? 955 00:40:10,166 --> 00:40:11,291 We're offline? 956 00:40:11,291 --> 00:40:12,541 Stand by. 957 00:40:12,541 --> 00:40:15,958 Take us to the Maharajah now. What do you think of that? 958 00:40:15,958 --> 00:40:17,250 Chop off his hand. 959 00:40:17,250 --> 00:40:18,375 - Chop off my hand? - What? 960 00:40:18,375 --> 00:40:20,041 - [kidnapper] Yes! - No! Hatchet! 961 00:40:20,041 --> 00:40:21,875 - Find the key. - I do know where the key is. 962 00:40:21,875 --> 00:40:23,541 - Look in here. - No, no, no. Shoot. 963 00:40:23,541 --> 00:40:25,750 - Shoot, I can't find it. - Check your other pockets! 964 00:40:25,750 --> 00:40:30,250 Son of a gun! I can't seem to pull the trigger on finding the key. 965 00:40:30,250 --> 00:40:33,416 - [Audrey] What are you talking about? - Your gun! Shoot this asshole! 966 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:35,791 - [grunts] - [screams] 967 00:40:39,708 --> 00:40:40,833 Oh my God! 968 00:40:44,625 --> 00:40:45,750 [yells, pants] 969 00:40:45,750 --> 00:40:47,375 [yells] 970 00:40:48,666 --> 00:40:49,625 [groans] 971 00:40:49,625 --> 00:40:50,916 [Audrey] Oh my God! 972 00:40:50,916 --> 00:40:52,708 Oh my God, I'm so sorry! 973 00:40:52,708 --> 00:40:55,291 Don't apologize, honey. You killed the kidnapper! 974 00:40:55,291 --> 00:40:56,458 [all yelling] 975 00:40:56,458 --> 00:40:57,416 Oh my God! 976 00:40:59,666 --> 00:41:01,000 Shoot this guy! 977 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,416 Can I shoot him in the leg? I don't wanna kill anybody else! 978 00:41:03,416 --> 00:41:06,083 What is the difference? You're already a murderer! 979 00:41:06,083 --> 00:41:08,083 I don't wanna be a mass murderer! 980 00:41:08,083 --> 00:41:09,541 [both grunting] 981 00:41:11,666 --> 00:41:13,625 - [Nick] Grab the hatchet! - [Audrey] Okay! 982 00:41:15,750 --> 00:41:16,916 [brakes squeal] 983 00:41:16,916 --> 00:41:18,875 [crowd gasps and exclaims] 984 00:41:18,875 --> 00:41:19,958 [gasps] 985 00:41:19,958 --> 00:41:20,875 What? 986 00:41:20,875 --> 00:41:22,166 [horn honks] 987 00:41:22,166 --> 00:41:23,833 Oh my God! 988 00:41:23,833 --> 00:41:26,250 Sweetheart, you're not just a mass murderer. 989 00:41:26,250 --> 00:41:27,791 You're an axe murderer! 990 00:41:27,791 --> 00:41:28,875 [yells] 991 00:41:28,875 --> 00:41:30,916 [Audrey] Honey, he's moving. Oh my God. 992 00:41:30,916 --> 00:41:33,041 I think he might be... He might be okay. 993 00:41:33,041 --> 00:41:36,375 [groans] Those are death twitches, honey! 994 00:41:36,375 --> 00:41:37,666 [grunts] 995 00:41:40,583 --> 00:41:42,083 [Audrey] Jesus! 996 00:41:43,125 --> 00:41:44,166 [horns blare] 997 00:41:44,166 --> 00:41:45,500 [Audrey] His foot's on the gas! 998 00:41:47,458 --> 00:41:49,666 - Grab the wheel! - Oh God! 999 00:41:51,750 --> 00:41:54,625 ["Le coeur au bout des doigts" by Jacqueline Taïeb playing] 1000 00:41:57,291 --> 00:42:00,041 Oh shit! It's so gross! I touched... I touched it! 1001 00:42:00,833 --> 00:42:01,791 [car horn blares] 1002 00:42:02,458 --> 00:42:05,541 [Nick] Oh yeah! Who's gonna feed who to the swine now, huh? 1003 00:42:06,125 --> 00:42:08,125 That's the dead guy, Nick! 1004 00:42:08,125 --> 00:42:09,083 Oh yeah. 1005 00:42:09,083 --> 00:42:11,291 [men grunting] 1006 00:42:15,500 --> 00:42:16,375 [Audrey] People, move! 1007 00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:18,416 [horn tooting] 1008 00:42:21,541 --> 00:42:22,583 Oh shit! 1009 00:42:22,583 --> 00:42:24,916 [Nick] Are you literally hitting everything? 1010 00:42:33,333 --> 00:42:34,666 [Audrey yells] 1011 00:42:35,666 --> 00:42:37,500 [grunting] 1012 00:42:37,500 --> 00:42:40,000 - [Nick] Door's open! - Oh my God! What did you do? 1013 00:42:44,250 --> 00:42:45,791 [Nick yelling] 1014 00:42:45,791 --> 00:42:47,083 Oh God! Honey! 1015 00:42:51,625 --> 00:42:53,583 Whoa! Oh! 1016 00:42:54,541 --> 00:42:56,208 Oh my God! 1017 00:42:59,625 --> 00:43:00,750 Argh! 1018 00:43:01,583 --> 00:43:02,583 Honey, pole! 1019 00:43:02,583 --> 00:43:04,750 - What? - There's a pole! 1020 00:43:05,625 --> 00:43:06,583 I can't hear you! 1021 00:43:08,208 --> 00:43:09,166 Oh my God. 1022 00:43:09,166 --> 00:43:10,083 Never mind. 1023 00:43:10,708 --> 00:43:11,708 [Nick yells] 1024 00:43:12,541 --> 00:43:14,541 [dramatic music playing] 1025 00:43:15,875 --> 00:43:17,500 [panting] Okay, baby. 1026 00:43:19,291 --> 00:43:20,833 [both yelling] 1027 00:43:22,833 --> 00:43:24,625 [diners scream and gasp] 1028 00:43:29,875 --> 00:43:31,833 [both panting] 1029 00:43:31,833 --> 00:43:34,250 - Bonjour. - Bonjour. Are you all okay? 1030 00:43:34,250 --> 00:43:37,083 - [Nick] Sorry. Let me get down. - [Audrey] Careful. Oh my goodness! 1031 00:43:37,083 --> 00:43:39,041 - Ow! Jesus! - [Nick] Everybody okay there? 1032 00:43:39,041 --> 00:43:41,125 - Oh my God. - Hi. Hi. How was lunch? 1033 00:43:41,125 --> 00:43:43,166 [TV playing in background] 1034 00:43:43,958 --> 00:43:44,916 - What? - What? 1035 00:43:44,916 --> 00:43:46,875 [in French] Nick and Audrey Spitz... 1036 00:43:46,875 --> 00:43:48,458 - What? - What? 1037 00:43:49,125 --> 00:43:50,291 [Nick] Oh no. 1038 00:43:50,291 --> 00:43:52,083 {\an8}[newsreader continues in French] 1039 00:43:52,083 --> 00:43:54,000 {\an8}- [Audrey] Wait. What? No! - [Nick] What the-- 1040 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,291 I didn't take a cheese knife. I took the cheese! 1041 00:43:56,291 --> 00:43:58,375 Why did you grab it? Why did you have cheese? 1042 00:43:58,375 --> 00:44:00,791 I had cheese because I had the hookah munchies, 1043 00:44:00,791 --> 00:44:02,250 and it was good cheese. 1044 00:44:02,250 --> 00:44:04,583 That knife never left the room, Nick. 1045 00:44:04,583 --> 00:44:08,125 But it did leave the room. Maybe they stole the knife so they could deepfake us. 1046 00:44:08,125 --> 00:44:10,916 - Our fingerprints are all over it! - C'est caca! 1047 00:44:10,916 --> 00:44:13,416 - We did not do this. - [French accent] Television say bullshit! 1048 00:44:13,416 --> 00:44:17,125 - We're not capable of doing anything... - Nous sommes innocents! 1049 00:44:17,125 --> 00:44:18,416 - Innocents! - ...like this. 1050 00:44:18,416 --> 00:44:20,833 Like, uh, opposite of O.J.! 1051 00:44:20,833 --> 00:44:22,541 [Audrey] We would never do this. 1052 00:44:22,541 --> 00:44:24,500 - I swear! I promise you! - No. 1053 00:44:24,500 --> 00:44:26,208 [all gasp] 1054 00:44:29,583 --> 00:44:31,416 [tires screeching] 1055 00:44:31,416 --> 00:44:32,500 [people clamoring] 1056 00:44:37,916 --> 00:44:38,750 - [Audrey sighs] - Hey! 1057 00:44:38,750 --> 00:44:39,666 Oh God! 1058 00:44:40,250 --> 00:44:42,291 I told you not to get in the van. 1059 00:44:42,291 --> 00:44:43,583 - We-- - The guy had a gun! 1060 00:44:43,583 --> 00:44:45,625 - What do you mean? You had a gun! - [Nick] Yeah-- 1061 00:44:45,625 --> 00:44:47,791 - I used the gun! - She used it good! 1062 00:44:47,791 --> 00:44:50,333 Do you see what they're doing to us on the TV? 1063 00:44:50,333 --> 00:44:52,291 - That's been digitally altered. - [Nick] Yes! 1064 00:44:52,291 --> 00:44:55,750 - I knew you'd see through that. - Thank you for noticing. That's a pro. 1065 00:44:55,750 --> 00:44:57,250 Is the case intact? 1066 00:44:58,208 --> 00:44:59,708 [all yelling] 1067 00:45:02,125 --> 00:45:03,708 [laughing] Well! 1068 00:45:03,708 --> 00:45:04,708 We did that! 1069 00:45:04,708 --> 00:45:07,291 - That was nice! - How did they find us so fast? 1070 00:45:07,291 --> 00:45:08,875 They've got 70 million reasons. 1071 00:45:08,875 --> 00:45:11,291 - Ah! - Give me the case. Do you have the key? 1072 00:45:11,291 --> 00:45:13,708 The key? For what? These are sex handcuffs. 1073 00:45:13,708 --> 00:45:15,708 Look. All I gotta do is this. 1074 00:45:17,083 --> 00:45:17,916 [Nick chuckles] 1075 00:45:18,666 --> 00:45:21,000 Okay. When they see me with this, they'll follow me. 1076 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,625 - [Nick] Right. - Nothing I can't handle. 1077 00:45:22,625 --> 00:45:23,583 I see that. 1078 00:45:23,583 --> 00:45:25,791 Meet at the Madeleine, 1900 hours. 1079 00:45:25,791 --> 00:45:27,583 No problem. Yeah, we'll be there. 1080 00:45:28,291 --> 00:45:29,958 I was harsh about your business before. 1081 00:45:29,958 --> 00:45:32,708 We may not be equals, but we do share a passion. 1082 00:45:33,333 --> 00:45:34,375 I see that now. 1083 00:45:34,375 --> 00:45:35,500 Hurrah! 1084 00:45:35,500 --> 00:45:37,625 Hey, I was wrong. That guy is a stud. 1085 00:45:37,625 --> 00:45:38,541 Honey... 1086 00:45:39,291 --> 00:45:40,958 What if Miller's the kidnapper? 1087 00:45:40,958 --> 00:45:43,500 [Nick] He said he's gonna meet us at 1900 hours at the Madeleine. 1088 00:45:43,500 --> 00:45:45,666 I know, but bad people, they lie. 1089 00:45:45,666 --> 00:45:49,708 All right? And we just handed the guy $70 million. 1090 00:45:49,708 --> 00:45:52,000 - Oh God. Maybe you're right. - I'm just saying. 1091 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:52,916 [engine turns over] 1092 00:45:55,875 --> 00:45:57,708 Nope, you were wrong. 1093 00:46:01,166 --> 00:46:03,666 - Who's this? - I don't know. Where'd he come from? 1094 00:46:04,916 --> 00:46:07,666 - [Nick] He's gonna walk into the flames? - He walked right into that. 1095 00:46:09,250 --> 00:46:10,416 He's got the case! 1096 00:46:10,958 --> 00:46:11,791 [man grunts] 1097 00:46:11,791 --> 00:46:13,791 - No! Oh my God! - Now I'm very confused! 1098 00:46:13,791 --> 00:46:16,041 - [Audrey] Oh no. Who's that guy? - [Nick] This guy? 1099 00:46:16,041 --> 00:46:16,958 Oh my God! 1100 00:46:18,291 --> 00:46:21,000 [Audrey whispering] N-E-4-1-3-D-A-N. 1101 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,541 We're Europe's most wanted again. We better run! 1102 00:46:23,541 --> 00:46:25,541 - I'm gonna grab... Okay. - Grab that hat. 1103 00:46:26,250 --> 00:46:28,125 - What is... Um... - [Nick] What is this? 1104 00:46:28,125 --> 00:46:31,416 {\an8}- [Delacroix speaking French] - [Nick] It's Delacroix! That guy loves us. 1105 00:46:31,416 --> 00:46:33,458 {\an8}[continues in French] 1106 00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:36,166 - I understood "opera." Okay. Go, go, go! - Okay. Okay. 1107 00:46:38,125 --> 00:46:40,750 [people clamoring on TV] 1108 00:46:40,750 --> 00:46:43,875 [both singing "Flower Duet" by Delibes] 1109 00:47:13,791 --> 00:47:15,250 - [gasps] How? - [Audrey] Surprise! 1110 00:47:15,250 --> 00:47:16,291 Audrey and Nick! 1111 00:47:16,291 --> 00:47:19,583 - Smoke rings! How you doing? - Hi! Did you get our Christmas card? 1112 00:47:19,583 --> 00:47:22,750 I'm fine, and yes. The matching sweaters were a nice touch. 1113 00:47:22,750 --> 00:47:24,375 - [laughs softly] - That was my idea. 1114 00:47:24,375 --> 00:47:26,916 So, hey, we need a little bit of help. 1115 00:47:26,916 --> 00:47:28,708 - We need a lot of help. - [Nick] Yeah. 1116 00:47:29,291 --> 00:47:31,250 - You are under arrest. - [Nick] No! 1117 00:47:32,125 --> 00:47:34,083 I can never tell when you're being serious. 1118 00:47:34,083 --> 00:47:35,708 He looks serious. Are you serious? 1119 00:47:35,708 --> 00:47:37,708 For kidnapping the Maharajah, 1120 00:47:37,708 --> 00:47:39,208 murdering his bodyguard, 1121 00:47:39,208 --> 00:47:41,666 stealing $70 million, 1122 00:47:41,666 --> 00:47:43,916 destroying many city blocks, 1123 00:47:43,916 --> 00:47:46,041 and, I'm assuming, sneaking into the opera. 1124 00:47:46,041 --> 00:47:48,916 - We didn't do all of that. - We did number four and number six. 1125 00:47:48,916 --> 00:47:50,458 We're just... We're being framed. 1126 00:47:50,458 --> 00:47:52,375 [Nick] We got a hunch who really did it. 1127 00:47:52,375 --> 00:47:54,541 We need you to track this license plate for us. 1128 00:47:54,541 --> 00:47:56,791 Nothing would give me greater pleasure, 1129 00:47:56,791 --> 00:48:00,958 but then I would have to immediately report such help to my superiors, 1130 00:48:00,958 --> 00:48:03,291 or I would be guilty of aiding and abetting. 1131 00:48:03,291 --> 00:48:05,291 How's this? We can tie you up, 1132 00:48:05,291 --> 00:48:08,458 and then you can say we forced you into helping us. 1133 00:48:08,458 --> 00:48:09,708 [sighs] 1134 00:48:09,708 --> 00:48:11,333 Wait, wait. Who are you calling? 1135 00:48:11,333 --> 00:48:12,958 I'm not calling anyone. 1136 00:48:12,958 --> 00:48:16,125 I have an app to track the vehicle with that plate. 1137 00:48:16,125 --> 00:48:17,750 They have an app for that? 1138 00:48:17,750 --> 00:48:19,041 - [Delacroix] Mm-hmm. - Tsk! 1139 00:48:19,041 --> 00:48:21,541 God. You got Shazam on that after? 1140 00:48:21,541 --> 00:48:23,791 I just... I wanna know what song this is. 1141 00:48:24,708 --> 00:48:28,375 [Nick] So the app says the truck is parked out by a château 1142 00:48:28,375 --> 00:48:30,083 that's 80 kilometers away? 1143 00:48:30,083 --> 00:48:31,916 [Delacroix] Mm-hmm. Excuse me. 1144 00:48:31,916 --> 00:48:33,250 Can you scratch my nose? 1145 00:48:34,250 --> 00:48:35,083 Oh. 1146 00:48:35,083 --> 00:48:36,583 Uh... Uh, softer. 1147 00:48:36,583 --> 00:48:39,250 Softer. Hmm. [moaning] 1148 00:48:41,375 --> 00:48:43,916 - Thank you. - Also, do you have a car we can borrow? 1149 00:48:44,583 --> 00:48:46,458 - The keys are in my pants pocket. - [Audrey] Okay. 1150 00:48:46,458 --> 00:48:49,958 You talking to Audrey on that one too? I'll handle the pants pocket. 1151 00:48:49,958 --> 00:48:52,583 What can I say? [chuckles] Shooters gotta shoot. 1152 00:48:52,583 --> 00:48:53,625 [Nick chuckles] 1153 00:48:53,625 --> 00:48:56,833 Okay, is this a potato or a key 'cause I'm... Okay, got it. 1154 00:48:56,833 --> 00:48:58,625 - [Audrey] We'll take care of it. - Hey, hey. 1155 00:48:58,625 --> 00:49:00,416 Okay, no food in my car. 1156 00:49:02,041 --> 00:49:05,625 [Nick] Man, I bet Delacroix's got a sick-ass vehicle. 1157 00:49:07,375 --> 00:49:08,958 [vehicle humming] 1158 00:49:08,958 --> 00:49:11,291 [Édith Piaf song playing over radio] 1159 00:49:11,291 --> 00:49:12,583 [Colonel speaking indistinctly] 1160 00:49:12,583 --> 00:49:13,750 [cell phone ringing] 1161 00:49:14,333 --> 00:49:15,333 [Colonel] Excuse me. 1162 00:49:17,666 --> 00:49:18,875 Bonsoir, Inspector. 1163 00:49:18,875 --> 00:49:20,791 - Bonsoir, Colonel! - Enchanté! 1164 00:49:26,291 --> 00:49:27,750 The police are looking for you. 1165 00:49:27,750 --> 00:49:30,625 Yeah, no kidding. Colonel, we did not do this. 1166 00:49:30,625 --> 00:49:31,708 [Colonel] I know that, 1167 00:49:31,708 --> 00:49:34,291 but they have your fingerprints all over the murder weapon 1168 00:49:34,291 --> 00:49:36,666 and footage of you running out of the tent with it. 1169 00:49:36,666 --> 00:49:39,916 - [Nick] Yeah. - Typical Spitz vacation insanity. 1170 00:49:39,916 --> 00:49:42,083 Miller's dead, by the way, and we lost the money. 1171 00:49:42,083 --> 00:49:43,666 It just looks like you took it. 1172 00:49:43,666 --> 00:49:46,750 It gets worse! The kidnappers just called. They've given us 1173 00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:48,750 a midnight deadline to come up with the money, 1174 00:49:48,750 --> 00:49:50,333 or they will kill the Maharajah. 1175 00:49:50,333 --> 00:49:52,833 Okay, Colonel, will you just stall for us until then? 1176 00:49:52,833 --> 00:49:55,083 - [Nick] Merci beaucoup! - [Audrey] Thank you, Colonel! 1177 00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:05,041 [car motor humming] 1178 00:50:08,666 --> 00:50:09,875 Oh my God! 1179 00:50:09,875 --> 00:50:13,041 Well, now you know why the kidnapper needs $70 million. 1180 00:50:13,041 --> 00:50:14,416 For the heating bill. 1181 00:50:17,833 --> 00:50:19,125 - [inhales sharply] - [Nick] Uh-huh. 1182 00:50:19,125 --> 00:50:20,416 Oh boy. 1183 00:50:20,416 --> 00:50:24,333 Okay, so that moat's, like, three meters? 1184 00:50:24,833 --> 00:50:26,041 I think I can clear that. 1185 00:50:26,041 --> 00:50:28,333 Nick, three meters is, like, ten feet. 1186 00:50:28,333 --> 00:50:30,916 I had the high school record for the long jump. 1187 00:50:30,916 --> 00:50:33,958 And I'm not kidding. I went further than that back in the day. 1188 00:50:33,958 --> 00:50:35,833 - Hmm. Did you? - Yeah. 1189 00:50:35,833 --> 00:50:38,833 What'd they call you back then? "Nicky Long Legs"? 1190 00:50:38,833 --> 00:50:39,750 You're mocking me? 1191 00:50:39,750 --> 00:50:41,916 [Audrey] You're not gonna make that jump. 1192 00:50:41,916 --> 00:50:44,416 It doesn't make me feel good to prove you wrong, but I'm gonna. 1193 00:50:44,416 --> 00:50:45,916 - All right? - [Audrey] Mm-hmm. 1194 00:50:49,083 --> 00:50:52,125 Okay, from that angle, it does look further than three meters. 1195 00:50:52,125 --> 00:50:53,541 - Oh shoot. - What do you think? 1196 00:50:53,541 --> 00:50:56,958 - Do you think maybe you could do it? - Now you want me to make that jump? 1197 00:50:56,958 --> 00:50:58,041 [gun cocks] 1198 00:50:59,041 --> 00:51:00,125 Bonsoir. 1199 00:51:00,125 --> 00:51:01,458 [both] Countess? 1200 00:51:01,458 --> 00:51:02,875 Surprised? 1201 00:51:02,875 --> 00:51:03,875 [both] Yeah. 1202 00:51:03,875 --> 00:51:05,833 - Did you hear we just said... - [both] "Countess?" 1203 00:51:07,666 --> 00:51:08,541 Oh God. 1204 00:51:10,125 --> 00:51:11,166 [Audrey groans] 1205 00:51:11,750 --> 00:51:13,000 Where's Vik? 1206 00:51:14,208 --> 00:51:15,750 I guess the kidnappers have him. 1207 00:51:15,750 --> 00:51:17,708 Kid... You're not the kidnappers? 1208 00:51:17,708 --> 00:51:18,791 No, no, no. 1209 00:51:19,375 --> 00:51:22,416 I would never do such a thing. Vikram is my friend. 1210 00:51:22,416 --> 00:51:23,541 [scoffs] Your friend. 1211 00:51:24,041 --> 00:51:24,958 You loved him. 1212 00:51:26,166 --> 00:51:27,750 [coughing] Oh God! 1213 00:51:27,750 --> 00:51:29,541 - I love money. - Hmm, hmm, hmm. 1214 00:51:29,541 --> 00:51:32,666 When I heard you two amateurs are gonna be handling so much of it, 1215 00:51:32,666 --> 00:51:33,791 I just had to have it. 1216 00:51:33,791 --> 00:51:35,916 "Had to have it." [giggles] 1217 00:51:35,916 --> 00:51:38,708 - So you didn't plant that knife? - Or deepfake that footage? 1218 00:51:38,708 --> 00:51:41,208 Or slip something into our drinks that night at the villa? 1219 00:51:41,208 --> 00:51:44,916 - Why bring that up? It's not relevant. - [Audrey] Of course that is relevant! 1220 00:51:44,916 --> 00:51:47,625 - It's extremely relev-- - All right! All right! Jesus! 1221 00:51:47,625 --> 00:51:48,541 - God! - [Nick] Yo. 1222 00:51:48,541 --> 00:51:50,750 Two bad guys never works out. 1223 00:51:50,750 --> 00:51:53,791 - One always double-crosses the other. - [Audrey] It's a cliché of the genre. 1224 00:51:53,791 --> 00:51:56,083 - We've seen this before. Trust us. - So many times. 1225 00:51:56,083 --> 00:51:57,166 - Save yourself. - Please. 1226 00:51:57,166 --> 00:51:59,750 Imani? Is the car ready for our getaway? 1227 00:51:59,750 --> 00:52:01,541 - Yes, Countess. - [Countess] Brilliant. 1228 00:52:02,375 --> 00:52:03,833 - No! - No! Don't! 1229 00:52:03,833 --> 00:52:05,166 [gasps] 1230 00:52:06,208 --> 00:52:08,416 - [Audrey] Oh my God. - I couldn't have been more clear. 1231 00:52:08,416 --> 00:52:09,791 [Audrey] That is the cliché. 1232 00:52:09,791 --> 00:52:11,041 - Yeah. - Right there. 1233 00:52:11,041 --> 00:52:11,958 [Nick] Mm-hmm. 1234 00:52:11,958 --> 00:52:15,833 With any luck, the smoke will get to you before the flames do. 1235 00:52:19,083 --> 00:52:20,416 - [both gasp] - No! 1236 00:52:21,083 --> 00:52:21,916 Oops. 1237 00:52:23,833 --> 00:52:25,000 - [gunshots] - [gasps] 1238 00:52:26,708 --> 00:52:27,625 [Audrey] What? 1239 00:52:27,625 --> 00:52:29,875 Triple cross. 1240 00:52:29,875 --> 00:52:31,791 [chuckles, groans] 1241 00:52:34,541 --> 00:52:37,750 Oh my God. We are so getting blamed for both those assholes being dead. 1242 00:52:37,750 --> 00:52:38,791 [Nick] Let's go! 1243 00:52:38,791 --> 00:52:40,166 - We gotta hop out of here! - Okay! 1244 00:52:40,166 --> 00:52:42,833 - Come on! Let's go! Let's go! Together! - [Audrey yelps] 1245 00:52:42,833 --> 00:52:44,583 - Oh my God! - Go, go, go! Back, back, back! 1246 00:52:44,583 --> 00:52:46,333 To the window! To the window! Go, go! 1247 00:52:46,333 --> 00:52:47,291 Back, back, back! 1248 00:52:47,291 --> 00:52:48,541 - [Audrey] Oh shit! - [groans] 1249 00:52:48,541 --> 00:52:49,958 - [Audrey] Jesus! - Are you okay? 1250 00:52:49,958 --> 00:52:52,166 - [Audrey] Are you okay? - [Nick] You gotta roll away. 1251 00:52:52,166 --> 00:52:54,000 - [Audrey groans] - No! That way! 1252 00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:54,916 [Audrey groans] 1253 00:52:54,916 --> 00:52:56,625 Oh my God, you're so big! 1254 00:52:56,625 --> 00:53:00,166 That's what you said on our honeymoon, but like then, we gotta keep trying. 1255 00:53:00,166 --> 00:53:01,833 [both groaning] 1256 00:53:01,833 --> 00:53:05,750 Oh my God, honey! I don't even know where we're rolling to, honey! 1257 00:53:05,750 --> 00:53:08,083 - [Nick] I don't know! - [Audrey] Oh my God! 1258 00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:10,708 I was the one who roofied us. 1259 00:53:11,291 --> 00:53:12,541 Wha-- What? 1260 00:53:12,541 --> 00:53:15,125 I mean, you did it, but it was because of me. 1261 00:53:15,125 --> 00:53:19,583 I keep my Ambien in the Advil bottle that you use, and I... 1262 00:53:19,583 --> 00:53:21,666 I just get so stressed out. I'm sorry. 1263 00:53:21,666 --> 00:53:22,666 It was all me. 1264 00:53:22,666 --> 00:53:25,458 Don't apologize. I'm the one who needs to apologize. 1265 00:53:25,458 --> 00:53:28,500 I have been criticizing you so much. I feel terrible. 1266 00:53:28,500 --> 00:53:30,125 - I'm sorry. - No. It doesn't matter. 1267 00:53:30,125 --> 00:53:32,375 Your billboards and dental floss business cards-- 1268 00:53:32,375 --> 00:53:35,250 - Dental floss business cards. - [Audrey] I know, and I didn't think... 1269 00:53:35,250 --> 00:53:37,791 - It's not that it was a bad idea-- - The razor thing on the card! 1270 00:53:37,791 --> 00:53:40,541 I can use it to cut the tape! I got one in my pocket! 1271 00:53:40,541 --> 00:53:42,458 - Where? - Right here in the back pocket. 1272 00:53:42,458 --> 00:53:44,625 [Audrey] Oh! Hold on. Hold on! Hold on! 1273 00:53:44,625 --> 00:53:45,958 I'm trying to find it. 1274 00:53:45,958 --> 00:53:47,333 [Nick] Help me. Help me. Get it. 1275 00:53:47,333 --> 00:53:48,416 Get it. Get it. Reach. 1276 00:53:48,416 --> 00:53:51,375 - Reach down. Down. Please, God. - [Audrey] Got it. I got it! 1277 00:53:51,375 --> 00:53:53,291 Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. 1278 00:53:53,291 --> 00:53:54,916 Are we good? Are we cutting this? 1279 00:53:54,916 --> 00:53:56,625 - Is it working? - I think it's working. 1280 00:53:56,625 --> 00:53:58,416 [Audrey] Oh my God! 1281 00:53:58,416 --> 00:54:00,166 I love you, dental floss business cards. 1282 00:54:00,166 --> 00:54:02,500 I love you so much. Oh, please, please, please. 1283 00:54:02,500 --> 00:54:03,791 Yes! Yes! 1284 00:54:03,791 --> 00:54:05,125 Yes! 1285 00:54:05,125 --> 00:54:06,083 Get the feet. 1286 00:54:06,083 --> 00:54:08,333 - I got it! - [Nick] Come on! Come on! Go! Go! 1287 00:54:09,791 --> 00:54:10,791 [Audrey] Oh no! 1288 00:54:11,375 --> 00:54:13,250 - What are you doing? - [Nick] Oh God. 1289 00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:16,000 Here, take this. I'm gonna shoot out the window. 1290 00:54:17,166 --> 00:54:18,125 God! 1291 00:54:19,750 --> 00:54:21,750 My God! It's a French gun! 1292 00:54:21,750 --> 00:54:22,708 [Audrey] Honey! 1293 00:54:22,708 --> 00:54:24,458 - No. - What? 1294 00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,375 No! 1295 00:54:26,375 --> 00:54:29,125 ["Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)" by Sheila playing] 1296 00:55:01,208 --> 00:55:03,458 Baby! Oh! I love you! 1297 00:55:10,583 --> 00:55:12,125 [both panting] 1298 00:55:12,125 --> 00:55:13,041 Oh God. 1299 00:55:13,750 --> 00:55:14,791 - [turns key] - [beeping] 1300 00:55:14,791 --> 00:55:15,708 - What? - No! 1301 00:55:15,708 --> 00:55:18,333 - No, no! No, no, no! - No, no, no, no, no! 1302 00:55:18,333 --> 00:55:19,750 Shit! Shit! 1303 00:55:19,750 --> 00:55:20,750 Nick. 1304 00:55:21,875 --> 00:55:23,500 ["Ti-gars" by Lisa LeBlanc playing] 1305 00:55:25,791 --> 00:55:27,166 This time, I'm driving. 1306 00:55:27,166 --> 00:55:28,083 Okay. 1307 00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:37,458 [Nick strains] 1308 00:55:39,333 --> 00:55:41,416 Are you kidding me? [laughs] I can't... 1309 00:55:42,083 --> 00:55:43,541 You're getting it again, hon. 1310 00:55:43,541 --> 00:55:44,916 - Sorry. - That's all right. 1311 00:55:48,375 --> 00:55:49,375 [song ends] 1312 00:55:50,666 --> 00:55:52,333 [Delacroix] Mesdames et messieurs... 1313 00:55:52,833 --> 00:55:55,041 My name is Inspector Laurent Delacroix. 1314 00:55:55,875 --> 00:55:59,916 Fifteen minutes ago, Interpol assumed operational control of this matter 1315 00:55:59,916 --> 00:56:01,916 and assigned me to head the task force. 1316 00:56:02,791 --> 00:56:07,083 Okay, we get it, but why all of a sudden Interpol gets involved? 1317 00:56:07,083 --> 00:56:09,125 The heinous nature of the crimes. 1318 00:56:09,125 --> 00:56:11,458 Several murders, a kidnapping, 1319 00:56:11,458 --> 00:56:14,041 the destruction of the oldest café in Paris, 1320 00:56:14,041 --> 00:56:17,958 the tying up of a very handsome opera fan. 1321 00:56:17,958 --> 00:56:19,333 Oh dear God. 1322 00:56:19,333 --> 00:56:23,250 Okay, but why should we believe you'll be able to find Nick and Audrey Spitz? 1323 00:56:23,250 --> 00:56:25,666 Because I have them on the phone. 1324 00:56:27,166 --> 00:56:29,750 - [Audrey] Hello? Hey. Is everybody there? - Yes, Audrey. 1325 00:56:29,750 --> 00:56:30,791 Everyone except-- 1326 00:56:30,791 --> 00:56:33,000 The Countess and her creepy little friend? 1327 00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,916 Give back Vikram, you monsters! 1328 00:56:34,916 --> 00:56:37,291 - You already got the money. - Yes, we do have the money. 1329 00:56:37,291 --> 00:56:40,500 And if you ever wanna see it again, you better tell the kidnapper 1330 00:56:40,500 --> 00:56:44,166 to bring the Maharajah to the Jules Verne restaurant. 1331 00:56:44,166 --> 00:56:45,416 What? The what? 1332 00:56:45,916 --> 00:56:47,291 [Audrey] Jules Verne restaurant. 1333 00:56:47,291 --> 00:56:49,083 Jules Verne restaurant? Ah, Le Ju-- 1334 00:56:49,625 --> 00:56:51,291 - Le Jules Verne. - Oh. 1335 00:56:51,291 --> 00:56:54,333 On the observation deck at the Eiffel Tower at midnight. 1336 00:56:54,333 --> 00:56:55,250 [Nick] Yes. 1337 00:56:55,250 --> 00:56:56,958 What do you mean? We don't have my brother. 1338 00:56:56,958 --> 00:56:59,666 - Bullshit! - Oh, somebody there does, okay? 1339 00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:03,666 So do what my wife just said. Midnight, Maharajah, alive. 1340 00:57:03,666 --> 00:57:06,500 And, Inspector, we tried to start your car up 1341 00:57:06,500 --> 00:57:09,125 but, uh, couldn't get it done, so we left it there. 1342 00:57:09,125 --> 00:57:10,208 What? 1343 00:57:10,208 --> 00:57:12,250 We stole a Lamborghini. You can have that 1344 00:57:12,250 --> 00:57:13,666 when we're done with it. 1345 00:57:13,666 --> 00:57:14,875 Okay. 1346 00:57:16,791 --> 00:57:18,708 {\an8}[dramatic music playing] 1347 00:57:31,083 --> 00:57:32,041 [bell dings] 1348 00:57:38,041 --> 00:57:40,666 Oh my God. So gorgeous. 1349 00:57:41,875 --> 00:57:43,375 Why are you all dressed up? 1350 00:57:43,375 --> 00:57:45,666 We read online there was a dress code. 1351 00:57:45,666 --> 00:57:48,750 We couldn't get into Tavern on the Green 'cause I was wearing shorts one time. 1352 00:57:48,750 --> 00:57:50,208 - Wh-- Where is everybody? - Yeah. 1353 00:57:50,208 --> 00:57:53,083 We bought out the restaurant so we wouldn't be disturbed. 1354 00:57:53,083 --> 00:57:55,416 You do understand the idea of doing this in public 1355 00:57:55,416 --> 00:57:57,416 is so there are actually people around? 1356 00:57:57,416 --> 00:58:00,708 - How did you even get these clothes? - And you got your hair done? 1357 00:58:00,708 --> 00:58:02,541 Look, we had a situation, all right? 1358 00:58:02,541 --> 00:58:05,875 There was a moat, and then we did... I don't have to explain myself, okay? 1359 00:58:05,875 --> 00:58:08,083 We'll be the ones who ask the questions. How's that? 1360 00:58:08,083 --> 00:58:10,791 - Go ahead. Ask the questions. - Let's review the suspects, shall we? 1361 00:58:10,791 --> 00:58:11,958 [sighs] 1362 00:58:11,958 --> 00:58:13,125 Get comfortable. 1363 00:58:13,125 --> 00:58:15,750 Let's start with Saira Govindan. 1364 00:58:15,750 --> 00:58:16,833 Me? 1365 00:58:16,833 --> 00:58:17,916 [Audrey] Mm. 1366 00:58:17,916 --> 00:58:19,208 I defended you. 1367 00:58:20,041 --> 00:58:21,333 I actually really liked you. 1368 00:58:21,333 --> 00:58:24,500 I know you did. We really liked you. You've been so nice to us. 1369 00:58:24,500 --> 00:58:26,125 It's just kind of what we do. 1370 00:58:26,125 --> 00:58:28,625 Kidnap my own brother? 1371 00:58:28,625 --> 00:58:30,708 - She's getting upset. - I see. She's in front of me. 1372 00:58:30,708 --> 00:58:32,083 Are you out of your mind? 1373 00:58:32,083 --> 00:58:34,125 - Just move on. Audrey, move on. - Moving on. 1374 00:58:34,125 --> 00:58:35,166 [Nick] All good, Saira. 1375 00:58:35,166 --> 00:58:37,666 [Audrey] Francisco, chairman of the board. 1376 00:58:38,250 --> 00:58:42,208 With the Maharajah gone, you can embezzle all the money you want 1377 00:58:42,208 --> 00:58:45,375 to cover all those paternity suits for your 2,000 children. 1378 00:58:45,375 --> 00:58:47,916 I say we make it 2,001, huh? 1379 00:58:47,916 --> 00:58:48,958 Get out of my face. 1380 00:58:48,958 --> 00:58:50,666 Disgusting pig. 1381 00:58:50,666 --> 00:58:52,166 Claudette Joubert. 1382 00:58:52,166 --> 00:58:53,250 Joubert. 1383 00:58:53,250 --> 00:58:56,041 Parisian shopgirl desperate for money. 1384 00:58:56,625 --> 00:58:59,291 If I wanted money, don't you think I'd just marry him? 1385 00:58:59,291 --> 00:59:01,916 Not with that brutal prenup the board had you sign. 1386 00:59:03,333 --> 00:59:05,916 But what about the Colonel? What's his motive? 1387 00:59:05,916 --> 00:59:10,916 Well, maybe he just is sick of working for rich people 'cause you guys suck. 1388 00:59:11,666 --> 00:59:17,500 Or maybe the Colonel needed enough money to afford himself 1389 00:59:18,541 --> 00:59:19,958 a bionic arm. 1390 00:59:20,583 --> 00:59:23,458 I looked into it. They're not very expensive. 1391 00:59:23,458 --> 00:59:26,166 - How much are we talking? - Twenty, thirty K. 1392 00:59:26,166 --> 00:59:29,208 That's it? Jeez, maybe I should get something like that. 1393 00:59:29,208 --> 00:59:31,125 You're gonna have to lose an arm for that. 1394 00:59:31,125 --> 00:59:32,916 I wasn't talking about for the arm. 1395 00:59:32,916 --> 00:59:34,375 [chuckles] 1396 00:59:35,166 --> 00:59:38,291 Okay, we went through everybody. 1397 00:59:39,666 --> 00:59:40,625 Who did it? 1398 00:59:40,625 --> 00:59:42,666 [elevator bell dings] 1399 00:59:44,291 --> 00:59:45,541 [shrieks, laughs] 1400 00:59:45,541 --> 00:59:47,625 - [all laughing] - Mon amour! 1401 00:59:47,625 --> 00:59:49,416 - Hey, hey, hey. - [Audrey] Whoa, whoa. 1402 00:59:50,875 --> 00:59:53,458 Um, I've been asked to show you all 1403 00:59:53,458 --> 00:59:55,041 this sick-ass bomb and shit. 1404 00:59:55,041 --> 00:59:56,291 [all gasp] 1405 00:59:56,291 --> 00:59:57,666 Oh my God. 1406 00:59:57,666 --> 01:00:00,166 Enough to blow this whole damn tower up, G. 1407 01:00:00,166 --> 01:00:05,291 So check it. You gotta put the Benjamins in the lift and send it to the top floor. 1408 01:00:05,291 --> 01:00:09,208 Once the amount has been chickity-checked, they'll send down the, uh... 1409 01:00:09,208 --> 01:00:12,166 God, what's it called? The button blaster thingy? The-- 1410 01:00:12,166 --> 01:00:14,208 - The remote detonator? - Yes, that shit. 1411 01:00:14,208 --> 01:00:17,333 They'll send that back down, and then we can be outtie. 1412 01:00:17,333 --> 01:00:21,583 And it's a bit of a hurry or something because, you know... 1413 01:00:21,583 --> 01:00:23,625 - [all] Oh no! - [Audrey] Oh my God, Nick! 1414 01:00:23,625 --> 01:00:26,875 Nick, Nick, Nick. The money. You must put it in the elevator. 1415 01:00:26,875 --> 01:00:27,791 - Now! - Nah. 1416 01:00:27,791 --> 01:00:29,291 - "Nah"? - What do you mean, "nah"? 1417 01:00:29,291 --> 01:00:32,083 - What are you doing? - I don't think they'll blow him up. 1418 01:00:32,083 --> 01:00:34,708 Nick, are you really just going on a hunch right now? 1419 01:00:34,708 --> 01:00:35,791 - Trust me. - [Vik] Nick! 1420 01:00:35,791 --> 01:00:36,708 Bro-heem! 1421 01:00:36,708 --> 01:00:39,458 No, it's all good in the hood, Maharajah. 1422 01:00:39,458 --> 01:00:42,416 Whoever did this had some serious training, right? 1423 01:00:42,416 --> 01:00:45,083 'Cause he killed Mr. Lou, a lethal badass. 1424 01:00:45,083 --> 01:00:46,875 We're counting down here, G. 1425 01:00:46,875 --> 01:00:48,375 No, no. Nick, Nick, Nick! 1426 01:00:48,375 --> 01:00:51,625 And we know the kidnapper had some major hacking skills 1427 01:00:51,625 --> 01:00:53,625 to access that footage and do the deepfake. 1428 01:00:53,625 --> 01:00:55,083 Come on, Nick! 1429 01:00:55,750 --> 01:00:59,791 He knew exactly where to find Mr. Lou and Vik backstage at the wedding 1430 01:00:59,791 --> 01:01:02,291 in order to pull off the elephant switcheroo. 1431 01:01:02,291 --> 01:01:04,250 - But, honey-- - Nick! I'm gonna blow up! 1432 01:01:04,250 --> 01:01:06,000 With all that expertise... 1433 01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:07,875 - God, Nick! - [rapid beeping] 1434 01:01:07,875 --> 01:01:09,833 ...this guy should write a book. 1435 01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:11,666 - Oh my God, Nick! - [all clamoring] 1436 01:01:11,666 --> 01:01:13,041 [Audrey screams] 1437 01:01:14,166 --> 01:01:16,000 [panting] 1438 01:01:17,500 --> 01:01:19,166 [Vik sighs] 1439 01:01:20,083 --> 01:01:21,375 [moans] 1440 01:01:22,125 --> 01:01:27,416 [sighs] "Thousands of studies have shown that the kidnapper will do nothing 1441 01:01:27,416 --> 01:01:30,208 to jeopardize the receiving of the ransom." 1442 01:01:30,208 --> 01:01:35,166 Chapter 9, section 3, written by Mr. Connor Miller. 1443 01:01:35,750 --> 01:01:37,041 You read the book. 1444 01:01:37,041 --> 01:01:38,958 From cover to cover, sweetheart, and it sucked. 1445 01:01:38,958 --> 01:01:41,041 You gotta try this. It's so good. 1446 01:01:41,041 --> 01:01:43,125 You just scared the crap out of me. 1447 01:01:43,125 --> 01:01:44,791 - [booming] - [all screaming] 1448 01:01:50,500 --> 01:01:51,666 [Audrey] What was that? 1449 01:01:53,291 --> 01:01:54,166 What? 1450 01:01:57,166 --> 01:01:58,041 Very impressive. 1451 01:01:58,041 --> 01:02:01,000 How did you get out of that SUV before it blew up? 1452 01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:02,166 I didn't. 1453 01:02:02,708 --> 01:02:05,500 I climbed into a bomb-proof titanium chamber in the back seat. 1454 01:02:05,500 --> 01:02:09,541 A public death. What better way to eliminate himself as a suspect. 1455 01:02:09,541 --> 01:02:13,375 Yeah, yeah. But everything didn't go according to your plan, did it? 1456 01:02:13,375 --> 01:02:17,125 [Audrey] Your guy had his hand on the case seconds before a clean getaway. 1457 01:02:17,125 --> 01:02:18,750 [Nick] And boom. 1458 01:02:18,750 --> 01:02:20,958 The greedy ex enters the chat. 1459 01:02:20,958 --> 01:02:24,500 Hmm. $70 million. That's a lot of money, 1460 01:02:24,500 --> 01:02:26,166 even for a countess. 1461 01:02:26,166 --> 01:02:29,750 So she sends Imani over to hijack the hijackers. 1462 01:02:29,750 --> 01:02:31,541 - Who? - [both] Imani. 1463 01:02:31,541 --> 01:02:33,666 - [Colonel] Who? - Iman-- The sidekick to the-- 1464 01:02:33,666 --> 01:02:35,833 The Countess's... You know, do the laugh. 1465 01:02:35,833 --> 01:02:36,750 Do I have to? 1466 01:02:36,750 --> 01:02:38,541 - Just knock it out. - [imitates Imani] 1467 01:02:38,541 --> 01:02:39,833 - Okay. - Oh. 1468 01:02:39,833 --> 01:02:40,750 Now they know. 1469 01:02:40,750 --> 01:02:42,333 And then she swoops in, 1470 01:02:42,333 --> 01:02:45,916 steals the ransom money right out from under your nose. 1471 01:02:45,916 --> 01:02:47,416 [laughing] 1472 01:02:47,416 --> 01:02:49,166 - That must have hurt. - Uh-huh. 1473 01:02:49,166 --> 01:02:52,416 Now, if you had, in fact, read my book properly, 1474 01:02:52,416 --> 01:02:56,875 you'd remember that revealing the identity of a heretofore anonymous criminal 1475 01:02:56,875 --> 01:03:01,375 puts all those privy to that information at risk. 1476 01:03:01,375 --> 01:03:02,750 Which means 1477 01:03:04,375 --> 01:03:06,208 I'm gonna have to kill you all. 1478 01:03:06,708 --> 01:03:09,666 - [all clamoring] - Oh God! [sobs] 1479 01:03:10,333 --> 01:03:11,500 Gary? 1480 01:03:13,208 --> 01:03:14,416 Who the hell are you? 1481 01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:15,875 I'm Susan. 1482 01:03:18,458 --> 01:03:20,625 - Do you know who this is? - I have no idea. 1483 01:03:20,625 --> 01:03:25,416 Gary and I met here ten years ago when I was studying abroad, 1484 01:03:25,416 --> 01:03:28,208 and we promised that if we still loved each other 1485 01:03:28,208 --> 01:03:30,875 and we hadn't found anyone else, 1486 01:03:30,875 --> 01:03:36,166 that we would meet halfway up the Eiffel Tower at midnight tonight. 1487 01:03:36,166 --> 01:03:37,958 [poignant music playing] 1488 01:03:37,958 --> 01:03:39,875 And I still love him very much. 1489 01:03:41,416 --> 01:03:43,041 Are any of you Gary? 1490 01:03:45,125 --> 01:03:47,000 Put your hand down, Francisco. 1491 01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:48,458 - [Audrey gasps] - [Nick grunts] 1492 01:03:48,458 --> 01:03:50,041 - [Audrey] Oh my God! - [all yelling] 1493 01:03:53,125 --> 01:03:53,958 Whoa! 1494 01:03:53,958 --> 01:03:54,958 Oh God! 1495 01:03:54,958 --> 01:03:56,458 [dramatic music playing] 1496 01:04:00,625 --> 01:04:01,750 Get ready. 1497 01:04:01,750 --> 01:04:03,833 [Delacroix panting] 1498 01:04:05,458 --> 01:04:07,208 It just remains for me to say, 1499 01:04:07,208 --> 01:04:08,666 it's been a pleasure. 1500 01:04:10,750 --> 01:04:12,708 He still has the button blaster thingy! 1501 01:04:16,208 --> 01:04:17,416 [Audrey yells] 1502 01:04:17,416 --> 01:04:19,541 - Audrey! - [Audrey yelling] 1503 01:04:19,541 --> 01:04:21,708 [tense music playing] 1504 01:04:21,708 --> 01:04:22,750 Oh my God! 1505 01:04:23,416 --> 01:04:25,875 No! This is not what I planned! 1506 01:04:33,416 --> 01:04:34,750 [Audrey yells, pants] 1507 01:04:35,541 --> 01:04:37,666 [groaning] 1508 01:04:39,458 --> 01:04:42,250 There really is no end to your bad decision-making, is there? 1509 01:04:42,875 --> 01:04:45,083 Nick! I can't believe I'm doing this. 1510 01:04:45,083 --> 01:04:46,666 Take my gun. [groans] 1511 01:04:46,666 --> 01:04:49,750 Wait! You need bullets. In my pocket. 1512 01:04:50,250 --> 01:04:52,416 Oh, you little rascal. 1513 01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,291 - You got it in there deep, huh? - You got it. 1514 01:04:55,291 --> 01:04:56,666 [moans] 1515 01:04:56,666 --> 01:04:59,666 [Nick] Susan, put some pressure on the inspector's wound. 1516 01:04:59,666 --> 01:05:02,166 Is this like an interactive theater thing? 1517 01:05:09,333 --> 01:05:10,791 [grunts, pants] 1518 01:05:10,791 --> 01:05:12,833 I'm glad my biggest fan is gonna get to see this. 1519 01:05:12,833 --> 01:05:16,000 Actually, not as much of a fan as I used to be. 1520 01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:18,416 That's a shame because I'm about to teach my final lesson... 1521 01:05:18,416 --> 01:05:20,083 [weapons cocking] 1522 01:05:20,083 --> 01:05:22,041 How to blow up the Eiffel Tower and get away with it. 1523 01:05:22,041 --> 01:05:23,458 You would never do that. 1524 01:05:23,458 --> 01:05:26,416 There's only one thing I hate more than witnesses, 1525 01:05:26,416 --> 01:05:27,666 and that's the French. 1526 01:05:31,250 --> 01:05:34,583 That door opens, everyone inside is dead, understand? 1527 01:05:34,583 --> 01:05:36,333 - [elevator bell dings] - [Audrey] Nick! 1528 01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,541 No, Nick! No, no! No, no, no! 1529 01:05:40,333 --> 01:05:42,375 Nick! Oh! 1530 01:05:51,166 --> 01:05:52,083 [Claudette] It's stuck. 1531 01:05:52,083 --> 01:05:54,916 - Get this shit off me. I feel vulnerable! - The vest is a medium. 1532 01:05:54,916 --> 01:05:56,708 You haven't been a medium since you were 14! 1533 01:05:56,708 --> 01:05:59,166 Just chill out, please! Get this vest off me. 1534 01:05:59,166 --> 01:06:00,208 You all right? 1535 01:06:00,208 --> 01:06:02,041 [breathless] I need my vape. 1536 01:06:02,041 --> 01:06:04,125 - Okay. - [Delacroix] In my pocket there. 1537 01:06:04,125 --> 01:06:05,041 The right pocket. 1538 01:06:05,041 --> 01:06:06,208 - This? - No, no. 1539 01:06:06,208 --> 01:06:07,750 Oh, no. That's your penis. 1540 01:06:07,750 --> 01:06:09,833 - You got it. - [Susan] Okay, got it. Got it. 1541 01:06:09,833 --> 01:06:12,416 I don't think this is the best thing for someone who's been shot, 1542 01:06:12,416 --> 01:06:13,541 but go for it. 1543 01:06:13,541 --> 01:06:15,625 [dramatic music playing] 1544 01:06:27,583 --> 01:06:28,833 Here comes Brooklyn. 1545 01:06:28,833 --> 01:06:30,333 [Nick yells] 1546 01:06:33,833 --> 01:06:34,833 [Audrey yelps] 1547 01:06:36,625 --> 01:06:38,333 [yelps, grunts] 1548 01:06:40,041 --> 01:06:41,416 [powering down sound] 1549 01:06:41,416 --> 01:06:42,416 [all clamoring] 1550 01:06:42,416 --> 01:06:43,708 - It stopped! - Oh! 1551 01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:44,625 [sighs] 1552 01:06:44,625 --> 01:06:47,875 [all laughing] 1553 01:06:49,291 --> 01:06:50,916 [beeping] 1554 01:06:50,916 --> 01:06:52,500 Oh God! 1555 01:06:52,500 --> 01:06:53,791 [all yelling] 1556 01:06:53,791 --> 01:06:55,833 [intense rock music playing] 1557 01:07:01,125 --> 01:07:02,458 Argh! 1558 01:07:05,041 --> 01:07:07,708 [all yelling] 1559 01:07:07,708 --> 01:07:09,083 Cut that damn thing off! 1560 01:07:09,958 --> 01:07:11,958 [fighting grunts] 1561 01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:16,291 [man screams] 1562 01:07:17,833 --> 01:07:19,583 Step back, or this money goes. 1563 01:07:19,583 --> 01:07:21,041 I don't believe you. 1564 01:07:22,958 --> 01:07:25,166 [Nick screams, grunts] 1565 01:07:34,250 --> 01:07:35,083 Uh-uh. 1566 01:07:35,083 --> 01:07:36,000 [grunts] 1567 01:07:36,541 --> 01:07:39,333 How the hell do you do that without getting a concussion? 1568 01:07:39,333 --> 01:07:40,708 God's gift! 1569 01:07:41,500 --> 01:07:43,208 He will never blink again. 1570 01:07:43,208 --> 01:07:45,958 - [Audrey] Nick! - Yeah, we're coming, precious! 1571 01:07:45,958 --> 01:07:47,375 Let me handle this, please. 1572 01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:48,916 Oh! 1573 01:07:48,916 --> 01:07:51,666 Perhaps... a mild concussion. 1574 01:07:59,625 --> 01:08:01,666 - Get the thing off! - We are all gonna blow up! 1575 01:08:01,666 --> 01:08:02,750 I don't know what to do! 1576 01:08:03,541 --> 01:08:04,916 [Nick] It's all good, babe! 1577 01:08:05,583 --> 01:08:07,666 Nicky Two Guns in the house! 1578 01:08:08,416 --> 01:08:11,125 [slow electronic music playing] 1579 01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:20,000 [music stops] 1580 01:08:21,541 --> 01:08:22,875 Did I hit anything? 1581 01:08:22,875 --> 01:08:24,958 You got the detonator thingy, honey! 1582 01:08:24,958 --> 01:08:26,875 Okay, good! That's what I was aiming for! 1583 01:08:26,875 --> 01:08:28,208 - [powers down] - [Vik] Ooh! 1584 01:08:31,250 --> 01:08:33,250 [all sighing and laughing] 1585 01:08:33,250 --> 01:08:34,458 Oh, my love. 1586 01:08:34,458 --> 01:08:35,791 [Susan sighs] 1587 01:08:40,250 --> 01:08:42,166 The ring. The rings of love. 1588 01:08:43,500 --> 01:08:47,041 Yes. Okay. We're gonna use the guns for something else now, aren't we, bro? 1589 01:08:47,041 --> 01:08:49,291 Smacked up your friends pretty good. You're next. 1590 01:08:49,875 --> 01:08:51,041 What's up? What's up? 1591 01:08:53,458 --> 01:08:54,333 Okay. 1592 01:08:56,541 --> 01:08:58,083 Where you going? Babe! 1593 01:08:58,583 --> 01:08:59,416 Audrey! 1594 01:08:59,416 --> 01:09:00,833 [dramatic music playing] 1595 01:09:07,916 --> 01:09:08,791 Honey! 1596 01:09:08,791 --> 01:09:11,916 It's okay, baby! I got you! Just hang on! 1597 01:09:13,666 --> 01:09:15,625 - [groans] - [whimpering] 1598 01:09:16,375 --> 01:09:17,291 [Audrey straining] 1599 01:09:21,833 --> 01:09:24,666 I must have missed the chapter on face-kicking. 1600 01:09:27,083 --> 01:09:28,916 [Audrey screams] 1601 01:09:35,750 --> 01:09:37,333 [screams, grunts] 1602 01:09:39,583 --> 01:09:40,875 [yelling] 1603 01:09:45,875 --> 01:09:47,083 [Audrey] Oh my gosh. 1604 01:09:49,708 --> 01:09:51,833 [grunts] Come here. 1605 01:10:02,416 --> 01:10:04,541 It's time to make it rain, bitch. 1606 01:10:07,333 --> 01:10:09,291 [yelling] No! 1607 01:10:10,125 --> 01:10:12,250 [Nick laughing] 1608 01:10:12,250 --> 01:10:13,166 Oh! 1609 01:10:16,583 --> 01:10:17,416 [Susan] Oh! 1610 01:10:19,916 --> 01:10:21,125 [Audrey yells] 1611 01:10:24,041 --> 01:10:24,916 Come to me! 1612 01:10:27,083 --> 01:10:28,541 - [Nick] No! - [Audrey grunts] 1613 01:10:29,708 --> 01:10:31,291 [panting] 1614 01:10:34,875 --> 01:10:36,666 [Audrey] No, no, no. Okay. 1615 01:10:39,583 --> 01:10:40,916 Finish off the others. 1616 01:10:46,750 --> 01:10:48,666 Oh... Okay. 1617 01:11:01,666 --> 01:11:03,833 [helicopter blades whirring] 1618 01:11:05,416 --> 01:11:08,041 - [Delacroix] What is that? - That really killed the vibe. 1619 01:11:10,666 --> 01:11:11,833 [Audrey] Hey, Miller! 1620 01:11:14,916 --> 01:11:16,000 My husband was right. 1621 01:11:16,500 --> 01:11:17,875 Your book sucked. 1622 01:11:19,458 --> 01:11:21,333 She never misses. 1623 01:11:22,083 --> 01:11:23,291 [both groaning] 1624 01:11:23,291 --> 01:11:25,083 I'm so sorry! 1625 01:11:25,083 --> 01:11:27,291 - Now you miss? - I'm sorry, baby! I'm sorry! 1626 01:11:27,291 --> 01:11:30,333 [screaming] Oh shit! 1627 01:11:30,333 --> 01:11:32,541 Goddamn! Are you aiming for me or him? 1628 01:11:32,541 --> 01:11:34,666 Him, I promise! I promise! 1629 01:11:34,666 --> 01:11:36,541 - Just shoot him. Shoot him! - Shit! 1630 01:11:36,541 --> 01:11:37,666 - Okay. - [Nick] Shoot him! 1631 01:11:37,666 --> 01:11:40,166 Uh, I've come to the end of my rope, you know what I mean? 1632 01:11:40,166 --> 01:11:43,208 My wheels are really turning right now. They're spinnin', my wheels. 1633 01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:45,083 [gun clicking] 1634 01:11:45,083 --> 01:11:46,750 Oh God. Okay. 1635 01:11:49,041 --> 01:11:49,958 Never misses, huh? 1636 01:11:50,875 --> 01:11:53,375 Not everybody can be as good as you, I guess. 1637 01:11:59,250 --> 01:12:00,666 Enjoy the ride, Miller. 1638 01:12:00,666 --> 01:12:02,375 - [buzzes] - [gears whirring] 1639 01:12:05,916 --> 01:12:07,083 [gasps] 1640 01:12:08,125 --> 01:12:09,625 [screaming] 1641 01:12:13,541 --> 01:12:15,000 [grunts] 1642 01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:16,375 Oh my God. 1643 01:12:17,958 --> 01:12:19,041 - [Susan shrieks] - Get down! 1644 01:12:19,791 --> 01:12:20,791 [gasps] 1645 01:12:23,333 --> 01:12:24,750 - [screams] - [exclaims] 1646 01:12:24,750 --> 01:12:25,916 - Oh! - Jeez! 1647 01:12:29,791 --> 01:12:31,000 [beeping] 1648 01:12:39,208 --> 01:12:40,666 Paris is very weird. 1649 01:12:41,541 --> 01:12:42,666 He's dead this time. 1650 01:12:42,666 --> 01:12:44,750 - He's so dead. - He is. It's done. 1651 01:12:45,416 --> 01:12:48,083 How did you come up with that plan? How do you do that? 1652 01:12:48,083 --> 01:12:49,750 - I have no idea-- - You're a genius. 1653 01:12:49,750 --> 01:12:52,583 It just kinda came out. Like, I just was like, what? My baby! 1654 01:12:52,583 --> 01:12:55,458 You are next-level! I would never think of anything that good. 1655 01:12:55,458 --> 01:12:58,291 Thank you. I don't know what I did, and it was so scary. 1656 01:12:59,458 --> 01:13:01,458 - What? - We're a team now, hmm? 1657 01:13:01,458 --> 01:13:05,291 - No. No. Get him off. Get him off. - Don't touch her. It's getting her upset. 1658 01:13:05,291 --> 01:13:06,416 - Back up. - Just back up. 1659 01:13:06,416 --> 01:13:10,166 You did good, but just back up. Give us room. Thank you. 1660 01:13:10,791 --> 01:13:13,208 - Oh, babe. - It's all right. I love you, baby. 1661 01:13:13,208 --> 01:13:14,208 That was just... 1662 01:13:14,208 --> 01:13:16,791 It's kind of a beautiful Paris night besides that. 1663 01:13:17,291 --> 01:13:18,250 Yeah. 1664 01:13:19,208 --> 01:13:21,208 [romantic music playing] 1665 01:13:24,416 --> 01:13:26,583 [applause] 1666 01:13:26,583 --> 01:13:27,666 Yes. Hey! 1667 01:13:27,666 --> 01:13:31,375 - [Colonel] Nick! Audrey! - Hey! You guys did it again! Oh! 1668 01:13:31,375 --> 01:13:34,916 - Vik, I am so sorry about the money. - Yes, we apologize. 1669 01:13:34,916 --> 01:13:36,416 It was a lot of money to throw away. 1670 01:13:36,416 --> 01:13:39,083 I think Paris is gonna thank you from the bottom of their hearts. 1671 01:13:39,083 --> 01:13:42,708 Don't worry about it. Just as long as none of my peeps got murked, yeah? 1672 01:13:42,708 --> 01:13:44,958 [laughs] Apart from Mr. Lou. 1673 01:13:44,958 --> 01:13:46,875 Oh, yeah, that's true. 1674 01:13:46,875 --> 01:13:49,500 - [laughs] - Lou who, huh? [laughs] 1675 01:13:49,500 --> 01:13:52,708 Oh no. What happened to you? Why are you bleeding? 1676 01:13:52,708 --> 01:13:55,250 Oh, no. It's... I'm not. It's henna. 1677 01:13:55,250 --> 01:13:57,291 It must have smeared in tonight's commotion. 1678 01:13:57,916 --> 01:14:00,750 Oh, thank God. I'm sick. I can't take one more accident tonight. 1679 01:14:00,750 --> 01:14:02,000 No more blood, please. 1680 01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:05,125 - I swear, I thought it was blood. - I am exhausted. Aren't you? 1681 01:14:05,125 --> 01:14:06,041 [chuckles] 1682 01:14:06,041 --> 01:14:07,000 [Vik] Yeah. 1683 01:14:08,833 --> 01:14:12,166 - What are you muttering about right now? - Something doesn't make sense. 1684 01:14:12,166 --> 01:14:14,666 [mysterious music playing] 1685 01:14:15,291 --> 01:14:17,208 I'm sorry. It just doesn't make any sense. 1686 01:14:17,208 --> 01:14:19,041 Saira, I'm so sorry. What... 1687 01:14:19,041 --> 01:14:23,041 Did you just say you smeared your henna during tonight's commotion? 1688 01:14:23,041 --> 01:14:24,250 That's right. 1689 01:14:25,375 --> 01:14:26,500 That's interesting. 1690 01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,083 [scoffs] Why is that interesting? 1691 01:14:29,083 --> 01:14:30,708 [Nick] Yes, why is that interesting? 1692 01:14:30,708 --> 01:14:35,125 You know, I never saw you during the welcome dance. 1693 01:14:35,125 --> 01:14:39,125 And then you just kind of showed up right after the elephant arrived. 1694 01:14:39,125 --> 01:14:40,125 Yeah. 1695 01:14:40,125 --> 01:14:42,333 I was... I was getting a drink. [laughs] 1696 01:14:42,333 --> 01:14:46,458 Honey, I was a hairdresser, and I know a thing or two about dyes, 1697 01:14:46,458 --> 01:14:48,166 and once henna sets, 1698 01:14:48,916 --> 01:14:50,250 it doesn't smear. 1699 01:14:51,708 --> 01:14:54,666 Sorry. I... I have no idea what you're talking about. 1700 01:14:55,166 --> 01:14:58,333 That wasn't blood that I saw on the elephant handler's robe. 1701 01:14:58,333 --> 01:14:59,791 It was henna. 1702 01:14:59,791 --> 01:15:03,625 And it was your henna that never had time to dry the night of the murder. 1703 01:15:03,625 --> 01:15:05,375 Oh my God! 1704 01:15:05,375 --> 01:15:06,833 The sister did it! 1705 01:15:06,833 --> 01:15:08,708 Oh snap! 1706 01:15:08,708 --> 01:15:12,000 Come on. This is lunacy! You guys, haven't we done this already? 1707 01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:15,250 I love my brother. I mean, what reason would I have to-- 1708 01:15:15,250 --> 01:15:18,833 Maybe because your parents gave him the family business, 1709 01:15:18,833 --> 01:15:20,541 even though you're the smart one, 1710 01:15:20,541 --> 01:15:23,625 and he's the Jet Skiing rapper wannabe with no skill at all? 1711 01:15:24,208 --> 01:15:25,041 No offense. 1712 01:15:25,041 --> 01:15:26,333 Some taken. 1713 01:15:26,333 --> 01:15:29,833 And isn't that the same reason you tried to kill him in Mumbai? 1714 01:15:30,416 --> 01:15:31,375 You! 1715 01:15:32,541 --> 01:15:34,916 Well, my parents were right about one thing. 1716 01:15:35,958 --> 01:15:37,833 If you need something done correctly, 1717 01:15:38,625 --> 01:15:40,375 you should just do it yourself. 1718 01:15:41,416 --> 01:15:42,333 [screaming] 1719 01:15:42,333 --> 01:15:43,666 - [Vik] Saira! - [Audrey gasps] 1720 01:15:43,666 --> 01:15:45,041 [Colonel] No! 1721 01:15:46,041 --> 01:15:48,625 Oh! This poor guy, honey! He's running out of arms! 1722 01:15:50,083 --> 01:15:50,958 Whoa! 1723 01:15:51,541 --> 01:15:52,583 Not in my town. 1724 01:15:52,583 --> 01:15:54,916 Yeah! That's my bae! 1725 01:15:54,916 --> 01:15:56,375 [sighs] Thank you, baby. 1726 01:15:56,375 --> 01:15:57,708 I've got to just... 1727 01:15:58,291 --> 01:16:00,750 - 'Sup! It's okay. Yeah. - [Colonel groans] 1728 01:16:00,750 --> 01:16:04,125 You... You did great, pal. You're my number one bodyguard. 1729 01:16:04,125 --> 01:16:06,166 And not just 'cause the last one got smoked. 1730 01:16:06,166 --> 01:16:09,125 That Kwanzaa bonus better be off the hook this year. 1731 01:16:09,125 --> 01:16:12,625 Hey, it's bionic arm time, bitch! Yeah? 1732 01:16:12,625 --> 01:16:13,875 - Yeah? - Yeah! 1733 01:16:13,875 --> 01:16:14,791 [both laugh] 1734 01:16:15,541 --> 01:16:16,541 [Susan] You're okay. 1735 01:16:17,416 --> 01:16:19,625 - How are you feeling, young man? - How are you doing? 1736 01:16:19,625 --> 01:16:22,625 - I'm okay. - Laurent is a special man. Aren't you? 1737 01:16:22,625 --> 01:16:25,041 We're gonna go to dinner once you get out of the hospital. 1738 01:16:25,041 --> 01:16:26,208 Ah! 1739 01:16:26,208 --> 01:16:29,041 Paris weaves its spell once again. 1740 01:16:29,041 --> 01:16:30,291 Feel better. 1741 01:16:30,291 --> 01:16:32,250 - All right. - [Vik] Should we tell them? 1742 01:16:32,250 --> 01:16:36,125 - Yes! [laughs] - Okay, guys. We decided to elope. 1743 01:16:36,125 --> 01:16:38,833 - That is the smart choice, always. - That's amazing. 1744 01:16:38,833 --> 01:16:39,791 Good for you guys. 1745 01:16:39,791 --> 01:16:42,000 Yeah, no family, but, um, 1746 01:16:42,625 --> 01:16:43,875 I owe you guys my life. 1747 01:16:43,875 --> 01:16:46,250 Oh, we're just happy you're both okay. 1748 01:16:46,250 --> 01:16:49,041 And really, honestly, thank you for giving us an adventure... 1749 01:16:49,041 --> 01:16:49,958 Yes. 1750 01:16:49,958 --> 01:16:51,750 ...we are never going to forget. 1751 01:16:51,750 --> 01:16:52,791 - Oh. - Yep. 1752 01:16:52,791 --> 01:16:55,416 - I guess we're even then. Peace out. - Peace out! 1753 01:16:55,916 --> 01:16:56,916 - Bye-bye. - Au revoir! 1754 01:16:56,916 --> 01:16:59,541 Sorry about your sister being a psycho, by the way. 1755 01:16:59,541 --> 01:17:01,916 Ah, don't worry about it. She's a real piece of shit. 1756 01:17:01,916 --> 01:17:03,333 - Yes, she was. - [both] Yeah. 1757 01:17:03,333 --> 01:17:05,541 - [Nick] Okay. - Honey, I'm really ready to go home. 1758 01:17:05,541 --> 01:17:07,666 - Yes, I am too. - I'm really ready. 1759 01:17:09,125 --> 01:17:10,916 We have to do one thing first. 1760 01:17:11,750 --> 01:17:14,625 - Trust me. Trust me. All right? - What? Okay. Okay. Okay. 1761 01:17:14,625 --> 01:17:17,375 - [Nick] Check on the Colonel. You okay? - [Audrey] Colonel! 1762 01:17:17,375 --> 01:17:18,833 You're not losing this arm? 1763 01:17:18,833 --> 01:17:21,541 ["Et Moi, Et Moi, Et Moi" by Jacques Dutronc playing] 1764 01:17:29,791 --> 01:17:31,916 [Nick] Click it. Click it. We did it. 1765 01:17:32,666 --> 01:17:36,625 Now we are forever locked up together for the rest of our lives. 1766 01:17:36,625 --> 01:17:38,833 I'd never wanna be locked up with anybody else. 1767 01:17:38,833 --> 01:17:41,000 Me neither, sweetheart. You are-- 1768 01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:43,083 - [man] The Shitz! - What? 1769 01:17:43,083 --> 01:17:45,333 [chuckles] Nick and Audrey Shitz! 1770 01:17:45,333 --> 01:17:48,333 - The helicopter guy? What the-- - What are you doing here? 1771 01:17:48,333 --> 01:17:49,583 Take it. Take the phone! 1772 01:17:50,083 --> 01:17:51,041 Hello? 1773 01:17:51,041 --> 01:17:53,791 [Vik] Of course we're not even. Take my helicopter! 1774 01:17:53,791 --> 01:17:57,958 Go anywhere! Have a honeymoon you deserve! And a little cash! 1775 01:17:57,958 --> 01:18:00,125 - What? - Cash? A bag of-- 1776 01:18:00,125 --> 01:18:01,583 - Are you for real? - [Nick laughs] 1777 01:18:01,583 --> 01:18:04,708 - Oh my gosh. Look! Oh my-- - Well, yeah. 1778 01:18:04,708 --> 01:18:07,083 That seems to be enough money. Thank you. 1779 01:18:07,083 --> 01:18:09,541 [Vik] Just ten million! Don't spend it all in one place! 1780 01:18:09,541 --> 01:18:11,333 But if you do spend it all, 1781 01:18:11,333 --> 01:18:12,708 just sell the briefcase. 1782 01:18:12,708 --> 01:18:14,250 It's worth three million! 1783 01:18:14,250 --> 01:18:16,416 - It's dinosaur leather! - My God! 1784 01:18:16,416 --> 01:18:18,791 Dinosaur? We can't take this! Come on! 1785 01:18:18,791 --> 01:18:21,125 You know what? We will take this. Thank you. 1786 01:18:21,125 --> 01:18:24,083 [Vik] Now you two keep busting nuts! Maharajah out! 1787 01:18:24,083 --> 01:18:26,000 What's the first thing you wanna do? 1788 01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:27,750 - I wanna kiss you! - Ah! 1789 01:18:31,375 --> 01:18:32,625 I can't believe this! 1790 01:18:32,625 --> 01:18:34,708 [uplifting music playing] 1791 01:18:39,458 --> 01:18:41,416 - My baby. - My darling. 1792 01:18:41,416 --> 01:18:43,666 The honeymoon we always deserved. 1793 01:18:43,666 --> 01:18:45,250 - Exactly. - Finally. 1794 01:18:45,250 --> 01:18:47,291 [both] Mm-hmm. 1795 01:18:47,291 --> 01:18:49,541 Can you believe how lucky we are? 1796 01:18:50,333 --> 01:18:51,625 - [gun cocks] - [gasps] 1797 01:18:52,666 --> 01:18:54,291 [American accent] You liking those drinks? 1798 01:18:54,291 --> 01:18:56,458 - What-- - Are you shitz-ing us right now? 1799 01:18:56,458 --> 01:18:57,833 Hand me the bag. 1800 01:18:57,833 --> 01:18:59,291 What? The, uh-- 1801 01:18:59,291 --> 01:19:01,583 - Bag. Hand me the bag. - You want this? 1802 01:19:01,583 --> 01:19:03,625 - That's not a problem. - Give him the bag. 1803 01:19:03,625 --> 01:19:05,458 [Nick] What happened to the accent? 1804 01:19:06,291 --> 01:19:07,416 It's back in Jersey. 1805 01:19:07,416 --> 01:19:09,625 Let's just have a civilized conversation. 1806 01:19:09,625 --> 01:19:11,458 [pilot] See you never, Shitzes! 1807 01:19:11,458 --> 01:19:15,333 - Oh my God! Where did he-- - Oh my God! Oh-- Oh my-- 1808 01:19:16,041 --> 01:19:17,333 ["Spellbinding" by The Smashing Pumpkins plays] 1809 01:19:17,333 --> 01:19:19,708 ♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪ 1810 01:19:22,458 --> 01:19:26,625 ♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪ 1811 01:19:28,666 --> 01:19:35,166 ♪ 'Cause nobody else could ever mind you Ooh, ooh ♪ 1812 01:19:35,166 --> 01:19:39,583 ♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪ 1813 01:19:41,125 --> 01:19:45,166 ♪ Can you feel this? ♪ 1814 01:19:45,166 --> 01:19:50,166 ♪ I can feel it for you tomorrow ♪ 1815 01:19:50,166 --> 01:19:52,375 ♪ It's all in, baby ♪ 1816 01:19:52,375 --> 01:19:54,125 ♪ Looks all hazy ♪ 1817 01:19:54,125 --> 01:19:57,416 ♪ So I've gone crazy ♪ 1818 01:20:08,958 --> 01:20:12,666 ♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪ 1819 01:20:15,375 --> 01:20:19,541 ♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪ 1820 01:20:21,666 --> 01:20:28,166 ♪ 'Cause nobody else could ever mind you Ooh, ooh ♪ 1821 01:20:28,166 --> 01:20:31,125 ♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪ 1822 01:20:31,125 --> 01:20:33,000 ♪ Through, through this ♪ 1823 01:20:33,000 --> 01:20:37,875 ♪ Right while I was writing my own song ♪ 1824 01:20:39,416 --> 01:20:42,833 ♪ Raise your eyes and glass ♪ 1825 01:20:48,458 --> 01:20:52,291 ♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪ 1826 01:20:54,833 --> 01:20:59,041 ♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪ 1827 01:21:01,208 --> 01:21:07,583 ♪ 'Cause nobody else could ever mind you Ooh, ooh ♪ 1828 01:21:07,583 --> 01:21:10,166 ♪ Take me away ♪ 1829 01:21:14,125 --> 01:21:16,625 ♪ Take me away ♪ 1830 01:21:24,250 --> 01:21:26,958 [tense orchestral music playing] 1831 01:27:30,083 --> 01:27:33,083 [triumphant orchestral music playing] 132955

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.