Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:13,177
♪
2
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:22,252
(woman) ♪ WHAT IS THIS THING ♪
3
00:00:22,252 --> 00:00:25,918
♪ CALLED LOVE? ♪
4
00:00:25,918 --> 00:00:28,452
♪ THIS FUNNY THING ♪
5
00:00:28,452 --> 00:00:32,052
♪ CALLED LOVE ♪
6
00:00:32,052 --> 00:00:34,352
♪ JUST WHO CAN SOLVE ♪
7
00:00:34,352 --> 00:00:38,185
♪ ITS MYSTERY? ♪
8
00:00:38,185 --> 00:00:41,219
♪ WHY SHOULD IT MAKE ♪
9
00:00:41,219 --> 00:00:45,185
♪ A FOOL OF ME? ♪
10
00:00:45,185 --> 00:00:47,252
♪ I SAW YOU THERE ♪
11
00:00:47,252 --> 00:00:51,219
♪ THAT WONDERFUL DAY ♪
12
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:53,285
♪ YOU TOOK MY LOVE ♪
13
00:00:53,285 --> 00:00:56,985
♪ AND THREW IT AWAY ♪
14
00:00:56,985 --> 00:00:59,952
♪ AND SO I ASK THE LORD ♪
15
00:00:59,952 --> 00:01:03,352
♪ IN HEAVEN ABOVE ♪
16
00:01:03,352 --> 00:01:06,352
♪ WHAT IS THIS THING ♪
17
00:01:06,352 --> 00:01:11,519
♪ CALLED LOVE? ♪
18
00:01:12,852 --> 00:01:18,085
♪ CALLED LOVE ♪
19
00:01:18,085 --> 00:01:21,052
Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
20
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:33,125
I ONLY WISH ALL OF OUR CLIENTS
WERE SUCH A DELIGHT, ALANA.
21
00:01:33,125 --> 00:01:34,758
LOVELY EVENING.
22
00:01:34,758 --> 00:01:36,758
YEAH, CONSIDERING
WE SPENT DINNER PLOTTING OUT
23
00:01:36,758 --> 00:01:38,925
HOW TO SPILL THE BLOOD
OF THAT PREDATORY PRICK.
24
00:01:38,925 --> 00:01:41,725
OH, TWO "P" WORDS IN A ROW.
I'M APPROACHING THRESHOLD.
25
00:01:41,725 --> 00:01:45,658
ALANA, YOU DO $300 MILLION
A YEAR. YOU'RE A TARGET.
26
00:01:45,658 --> 00:01:47,159
YOUR NAUGHTY DREAMS BRA
IS A RUNAWAY HIT.
27
00:01:47,159 --> 00:01:49,825
IT WAS INEVITABLE
SOMEBODY WAS GONNA RIP IT OFF.
28
00:01:49,825 --> 00:01:51,025
WELL-SAID, MICHAEL.
29
00:01:51,025 --> 00:01:52,925
WIN THE LAWSUIT FOR ME, GUYS.
30
00:01:52,925 --> 00:01:54,958
I WANT THAT BASTARD'S BALLS
31
00:01:54,958 --> 00:01:58,292
SHRIVELING IN A SMALL JAR
IN A HOT ROOM.
32
00:01:58,292 --> 00:02:01,591
WE'LL MAKE THIS GO AWAY,
ALANA.
33
00:02:01,591 --> 00:02:03,159
ARE YOU STARING
AT MY BREASTS, LUTHER?
34
00:02:03,159 --> 00:02:06,925
NO, NO, JUST MARVELING
AT THE ENGINEERING BRILLIANCE
35
00:02:06,925 --> 00:02:08,992
OF YOUR NAUGHTY DREAMS.
36
00:02:08,992 --> 00:02:10,658
I'M NOT WEARING A BRA.
37
00:02:10,658 --> 00:02:12,691
OH. BRILLIANT.
38
00:02:14,792 --> 00:02:16,058
BYE, NOW.
39
00:02:16,058 --> 00:02:19,591
(sighs)
WHAT A GOOD PERSON SHE IS.
40
00:02:19,591 --> 00:02:21,625
(car door closes)
YEAH. OTHER THAN BEING
41
00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:24,325
A POWER-CRAZED, OVERSEXED,
CASTRATING BITCH.
(vehicle departs)
42
00:02:24,325 --> 00:02:26,825
OVERSEXED?
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
43
00:02:26,825 --> 00:02:29,259
SINCE SHE'S ONE
OF OUR BIGGEST CLIENTS,
44
00:02:29,259 --> 00:02:33,725
I... SUPPOSE I SHOULDN'T
SLEEP WITH HER, RIGHT?
45
00:02:33,725 --> 00:02:35,259
YOU SHOULDN'T SLEEP WITH HER
BECAUSE SHE'D SNAP YOUR DICK OFF
46
00:02:35,259 --> 00:02:37,092
AND USE IT AS A CAT TOY.
47
00:02:37,092 --> 00:02:39,225
DID YOU SEE HOW HER NIPPLES
WERE POINTED RIGHT AT ME
48
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:40,858
WHEN THE VICHYSSOISE ARRIVED?
49
00:02:40,858 --> 00:02:44,325
I'M NOT JUST IMAGINING THINGS
HERE, MICHAEL.
50
00:02:44,325 --> 00:02:46,259
THEY WERE MAKING DIRECT
51
00:02:46,259 --> 00:02:47,925
EYE CONTACT WITH ME
AND SAYING...
52
00:02:47,925 --> 00:02:49,691
(high-pitched voice)
"LUTHER, WE'RE IN HERE,
53
00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:51,725
"AND WE'RE ALL ALONE.
54
00:02:51,725 --> 00:02:53,992
"YES, WE WANT TO COME OUT
AND HAVE SOME FUN.
55
00:02:53,992 --> 00:02:55,325
WE NEED A FRIEND."
56
00:02:55,325 --> 00:02:58,125
OH, MY GOD. LUTHER!
IT'S ME, NIKKI!
57
00:02:58,125 --> 00:03:00,192
LENA, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
58
00:03:00,192 --> 00:03:01,758
LUTHER?
59
00:03:01,758 --> 00:03:03,058
YOU REMEMBER US?
60
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:06,025
DEER VALLEY? YOUR SKI CONDO?
61
00:03:06,025 --> 00:03:07,958
YOU OWN A SKI CONDO?
I DID THAT WEEKEND.
62
00:03:07,958 --> 00:03:10,725
OH, THAT'S THE SQUIRTER,
THE ONE I TOLD YOU ABOUT.
63
00:03:10,725 --> 00:03:13,025
LOADS OF FUN.
LOADS OF LAUNDRY.
64
00:03:13,025 --> 00:03:14,792
(singsongy) LUTHER,
65
00:03:14,792 --> 00:03:17,925
WE'VE GOT A BAR IN HERE AND SOME
NASTY DVDs FROM ICELAND.
66
00:03:17,925 --> 00:03:19,625
COME SAY HI!
67
00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:22,792
ICELAND? (mutters)
68
00:03:27,025 --> 00:03:29,992
(siren whoops)
69
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:32,558
(police radio chatter)
70
00:03:32,558 --> 00:03:34,958
SIR,
ARE YOU MICHAEL STRATHMORE?
71
00:03:34,958 --> 00:03:36,925
YES. WHAT'S GOING ON?
SIR, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.
72
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,125
FOR WHAT?
73
00:03:38,125 --> 00:03:40,159
(handcuffs clicking)
AAH.
74
00:03:40,159 --> 00:03:42,725
I HAVE A BENCH WARRANT.
DO YOU HAVE AN ATTORNEY?
I AM AN ATTORNEY.
75
00:03:42,725 --> 00:03:45,325
NOW SEE HERE, OFFICER!
I CAN VOUCH FOR MR. STRATHMORE.
76
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:47,025
WHAT'S THE CHARGE?
77
00:03:47,025 --> 00:03:49,625
SIR, YOU'RE INTERFERING
WITH AN ARRESTING OFFICER.
78
00:03:49,625 --> 00:03:51,925
ARE THOSE GIRLS UNDERAGE?
79
00:03:51,925 --> 00:03:55,225
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
THEY'RE PART OF A CHURCH GROUP.
80
00:03:55,225 --> 00:03:57,192
WHAT'S YOUR BADGE NUMBER,
OFFICER?
81
00:03:57,192 --> 00:03:59,925
IT'S OKAY.
I'LL HANDLE THIS, LUTHER.
82
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:04,292
OH. HE'LL HANDLE IT.
83
00:04:04,292 --> 00:04:07,092
"ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT"
IS GOING TO LOVE THIS.
84
00:04:07,092 --> 00:04:08,292
(laughs)
85
00:04:08,292 --> 00:04:10,292
(police radio chatter)
86
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:13,792
DOWN WE GO. DOWN THE HATCH.
(clears throat)
87
00:04:13,792 --> 00:04:16,858
(police radio chatter)
88
00:04:16,858 --> 00:04:18,725
AND THEY'RE REALLY
GONNA LOVE THIS.
89
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:21,992
OH, NIPPLE, CAN YOU SEE ME?
NIPPLE, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
90
00:04:21,992 --> 00:04:24,159
(both laugh)
(clink)
91
00:04:24,159 --> 00:04:26,858
MY SECOND WIFE NEVER CARED
FOR GAMBLING,
92
00:04:26,858 --> 00:04:30,225
PROBABLY 'CAUSE SHE'S TOO YOUNG
TO GET INTO THE CASINOS.
93
00:04:30,225 --> 00:04:33,125
ANYWAY, NOT TO GET TOO DEEP HERE
'CAUSE I HATE THAT SHIT--
94
00:04:33,125 --> 00:04:35,558
IT'S ALL A BIG GAMBLE ANYWAY,
ISN'T IT?
95
00:04:35,558 --> 00:04:37,025
I MEAN, WHAT ARE THE ODDS
96
00:04:37,025 --> 00:04:39,259
I'M GONNA FALL IN LOVE
WITH A CAR SHOW MODEL
97
00:04:39,259 --> 00:04:42,691
AND WANT TO TO GET MARRIED
FOR THE EIGHTH TIME? (chuckles)
98
00:04:42,691 --> 00:04:46,259
FATE IS ONE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER.
IT'S LIKE I TELL MICHAEL--
99
00:04:46,259 --> 00:04:49,625
YOU SPIN THE WHEEL,
A BALL FALLS WHERE IT MAY.
100
00:04:49,625 --> 00:04:51,958
FATE COULD GIVE A FAT FUCK
WHAT YOU THINK.
101
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,725
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
102
00:04:53,725 --> 00:04:56,125
WE'RE ALL WEARING HEAVY MAKEUP
IN A BOX ANYWAY,
103
00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:58,658
SO LET GO OF THE HANDLEBARS.
104
00:04:58,658 --> 00:05:01,591
WHY DID YOU BLINDFOLD ME?
WHAT IS THIS?
105
00:05:01,591 --> 00:05:04,359
WHAT, AM I BEING ESCORTED
TO MY OWN MURDER?
106
00:05:04,359 --> 00:05:06,691
HEY, SHUT UP!
107
00:05:06,691 --> 00:05:07,992
YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.
108
00:05:07,992 --> 00:05:09,858
A LOT OF TROUBLE.
109
00:05:15,125 --> 00:05:19,792
HEY, OFFICER, YOU EVER HEARD
OF POLICE BRUTALITY?
110
00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:21,058
(animals roaring in distance)
111
00:05:21,058 --> 00:05:23,825
THIS BRUTAL ENOUGH FOR YOU?
112
00:05:23,825 --> 00:05:25,192
I HEAR LIONS.
113
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:27,758
(giggles)
IT'S JUST YOUR IMAGINATION.
114
00:05:27,758 --> 00:05:29,192
(both grunting)
115
00:05:29,192 --> 00:05:31,058
I DON'T HAVE AN IMAGINATION.
(grunts)
116
00:05:31,058 --> 00:05:33,058
I'M A LAWYER, REMEMBER?
117
00:05:33,058 --> 00:05:35,058
(trumpeting)
118
00:05:35,058 --> 00:05:36,558
QUIET,
AND I'LL DO IT JUST...
119
00:05:36,558 --> 00:05:39,825
(squeals, grunting)
120
00:05:39,825 --> 00:05:41,225
(chatters)
121
00:05:41,225 --> 00:05:46,892
(both grunting)
122
00:05:46,892 --> 00:05:48,225
(growls)
123
00:05:48,225 --> 00:05:50,159
GOD, I MISSED YOUR COCK.
124
00:05:50,159 --> 00:05:51,958
YOU KNOW,
IT'S BEEN ASKING ABOUT YOU.
125
00:05:51,958 --> 00:05:53,558
(grunting)
126
00:05:53,558 --> 00:05:54,925
WE'RE AT THE FUCKING ZOO.
127
00:05:54,925 --> 00:05:57,958
(both laughing)
128
00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,558
YOU LIKE IT?
129
00:05:59,558 --> 00:06:01,159
OHH! GREAT IDEA, JANE.
130
00:06:01,159 --> 00:06:04,925
(both moaning)
131
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,292
(gasps)
132
00:06:09,292 --> 00:06:10,825
(squawking)
133
00:06:10,825 --> 00:06:13,892
(gasps) JUST PROTECTING
AND SERVING.
134
00:06:13,892 --> 00:06:16,725
WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?
135
00:06:16,725 --> 00:06:18,259
I CAN'T STAY AWAY
FROM YOU.
136
00:06:18,259 --> 00:06:19,691
(calling)
137
00:06:19,691 --> 00:06:21,225
(chattering)
138
00:06:21,225 --> 00:06:24,525
(both grunting)
139
00:06:24,525 --> 00:06:26,558
(chattering)
140
00:06:26,558 --> 00:06:28,658
(continues grunting)
141
00:06:28,658 --> 00:06:30,625
(calling, roaring)
142
00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:35,259
(gasping)
143
00:06:35,259 --> 00:06:37,092
(growling)
(gasping)
144
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:40,625
(shouting)
145
00:06:40,625 --> 00:06:42,892
(screams)
146
00:06:42,892 --> 00:06:45,259
(gasping)
147
00:06:45,259 --> 00:06:48,725
(laughs)
THAT WAS KILLER.
148
00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:50,025
(sighs)
149
00:06:50,025 --> 00:06:52,691
(chuckles and moans)
150
00:06:52,691 --> 00:06:55,992
(animals roaring in distance)
151
00:06:55,992 --> 00:06:57,892
(sighs)
152
00:06:57,892 --> 00:07:00,558
YOU FOUGHT BACK GOOD.
153
00:07:00,558 --> 00:07:01,858
GOT ME WET.
154
00:07:06,691 --> 00:07:08,591
ARE YOU OKAY?
155
00:07:08,591 --> 00:07:09,858
YEAH.
156
00:07:09,858 --> 00:07:10,992
WHAT IS IT?
157
00:07:10,992 --> 00:07:13,625
I'M GOOD.
158
00:07:13,625 --> 00:07:15,058
YOU WERE BETTER
A MINUTE AGO.
159
00:07:15,058 --> 00:07:17,658
(laughs) YOU WORRY TOO MUCH.
160
00:07:17,658 --> 00:07:19,691
TELL ME I'M WRONG.
I'LL STOP ASKING.
161
00:07:19,691 --> 00:07:25,625
HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU GOT
YOUR FIRST KISS?
162
00:07:25,625 --> 00:07:27,992
YOU GOT A PROBLEM
WITH THE WAY I KISS?
163
00:07:27,992 --> 00:07:30,125
YOU CAN--
YOU COULD USE SOME WORK.
164
00:07:31,992 --> 00:07:33,992
LISTEN, I GOTTA GET BACK
ON SHIFT, SO, UM,
165
00:07:33,992 --> 00:07:37,658
LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.
JUST GO.
166
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,525
YEAH.
167
00:07:40,525 --> 00:07:41,858
YEAH.
168
00:07:41,858 --> 00:07:44,325
LET ME OUT UP THERE.
169
00:07:44,325 --> 00:07:46,025
WHY? I'LL RUN YOU BACK
TO THE RESTAURANT
170
00:07:46,025 --> 00:07:47,558
TO GET YOUR CAR.
171
00:07:47,558 --> 00:07:48,892
I'LL WALK.
I FEEL LIKE GETTING SOME AIR.
172
00:07:48,892 --> 00:07:50,325
(chuckles) YOU'RE PISSED.
173
00:07:50,325 --> 00:07:51,958
I CAN TELL BECAUSE
174
00:07:51,958 --> 00:07:54,625
YOUR SENTENCES GET CLIPPED
AND IMPERSONAL.
175
00:07:54,625 --> 00:07:56,725
YOU NEVER TOLD ME I KISS
LIKE A FUCKING AMATEUR.
176
00:07:56,725 --> 00:07:58,892
I NEVER COMPARED YOU
TO AN AMATEUR.
177
00:07:58,892 --> 00:08:02,025
YOUR LIPS... KIND OF--
KIND OF WEIRD, THAT'S ALL.
178
00:08:02,025 --> 00:08:03,725
EVERYBODY'S ISOMETRICAL.
179
00:08:03,725 --> 00:08:05,925
WHAT ARE YOU,
HEAD OF THE GENOME PROJECT?
180
00:08:05,925 --> 00:08:08,925
I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANY MORE.
IF I KISSED LIKE YOU,
I WOULD WANT DETAILS.
181
00:08:08,925 --> 00:08:10,625
YEAH, WELL, I'M NOT YOU,
FOR WHICH I AM GRATEFUL FOR.
182
00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:14,159
NOW PULL OVER.
AND WHERE'S MY PANTS?
183
00:08:14,159 --> 00:08:17,691
NO! YOU JUST THREW MY PANTS
OUT THE GODDAMN WINDOW!
184
00:08:17,691 --> 00:08:21,225
NO, NO, THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
WHAT ARE YOU, 12?
185
00:08:21,225 --> 00:08:23,892
(giggles)
STOP THE GODDAMN CAR!
186
00:08:23,892 --> 00:08:25,658
(brakes squeal)
187
00:08:25,658 --> 00:08:26,892
JESUS.
188
00:08:31,992 --> 00:08:33,625
WHAT, YOU THINK
I'M TOO SELF-CONSCIOUS
189
00:08:33,625 --> 00:08:35,892
TO WALK AROUND
WITHOUT MY PANTS ON?
190
00:08:35,892 --> 00:08:38,625
YOU THINK YOU CAN CONTROL ME
THROUGH MY PANTS?
191
00:08:38,625 --> 00:08:40,958
WHAT PANTS?
OH, GO TO HELL!
192
00:08:40,958 --> 00:08:43,192
OH, I'M ALREADY THERE.
DON'T EXPECT TO SEE ME.
193
00:08:43,192 --> 00:08:45,225
YEAH, I'LL BE LAYING LOW
SO ME AND MY DEFORMED LIPS
194
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:49,025
AREN'T OUT IN PUBLIC
SCARING CHILDREN.
195
00:08:52,025 --> 00:08:54,758
(tires peal)
196
00:08:54,758 --> 00:08:57,992
(dog barking in distance)
197
00:08:57,992 --> 00:08:59,591
FUCK.
198
00:09:02,558 --> 00:09:05,825
I ONCE GOT INTO A 4-HOUR
ARGUMENT WITH A ANAIS NIN
199
00:09:05,825 --> 00:09:08,325
ABOUT FELLATIO AND COMMUNISM.
200
00:09:08,325 --> 00:09:09,858
SHE SWORE SHE DIDN'T SWALLOW
201
00:09:09,858 --> 00:09:12,225
UNLESS THE MAN GAVE
TO SOVIET CHARITIES.
202
00:09:12,225 --> 00:09:14,892
I TOLD HER SHE WAS
AN EXTORTIONIST
203
00:09:14,892 --> 00:09:17,225
AND THAT I LOVED SUCKING COCK.
204
00:09:17,225 --> 00:09:19,691
(inhales deeply)
205
00:09:19,691 --> 00:09:21,792
THAT'S GOOD FUCKING WEED.
206
00:09:21,792 --> 00:09:23,925
THEY SAY THE MEASURE
OF A FIRST-CLASS MIND
207
00:09:23,925 --> 00:09:26,525
IS THE ABILITY TO ENTERTAIN
TWO OPPOSING THOUGHTS
208
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,192
AT THE SAME TIME.
209
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:29,892
I THINK THE MEASURE
OF A FIRST-CLASS MIND
210
00:09:29,892 --> 00:09:33,025
IS KNOWING WHEN TO TELL SOMEONE
TO KISS YOUR ASS.
211
00:09:33,025 --> 00:09:35,992
PEOPLE NEVER ARGUE ABOUT WHAT
THEY'RE ARGUING ABOUT.
212
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,825
IT'S ALL JUST SYMBOLIC.
213
00:09:37,825 --> 00:09:41,292
I SAY CUT TO THE CHASE,
SWALLOW, AND GET ON WITH IT.
214
00:09:46,858 --> 00:09:48,125
GOD, I'M GONNA BE LATE.
215
00:09:48,125 --> 00:09:49,292
MM, YOU DIDN'T SLEEP
LAST NIGHT.
216
00:09:49,292 --> 00:09:51,092
I COULD HEAR YOU
TOSSING AND TURNING.
217
00:09:51,092 --> 00:09:52,925
YOU SMELL LIKE THE VELD.
218
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,225
WE FUCKED AT A ZOO.
I'VE GOTTA GO.
219
00:09:54,225 --> 00:09:56,125
A ZOO? OKAY, GIVE ME
SOME MORE DETAILS HERE
220
00:09:56,125 --> 00:09:58,591
SO I CAN BURN OFF
MY ANTIDEPRESSANTS.
221
00:09:58,591 --> 00:10:01,958
IT'S A KISSING PROBLEM.
OKAY? YOU HAPPIER NOW?
222
00:10:01,958 --> 00:10:04,058
HE ACCUSED YOU OF THAT?
223
00:10:04,058 --> 00:10:05,858
I MEAN,
THAT'S TOTALLY INSENSITIVE.
NO, I ACCUSED HIM.
224
00:10:05,858 --> 00:10:07,125
YOU DON'T LIKE
THE WAY HE KISSES?
225
00:10:07,125 --> 00:10:08,591
(sighs)
226
00:10:08,591 --> 00:10:09,958
YOU HAVE NO FUTURE.
227
00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:12,958
IS IT LIKE
HE'S LICKING STAMPS?
228
00:10:12,958 --> 00:10:16,325
(chuckles) NO. HE'S GOT
SOME TECHNIQUE, SOME SUBTLETY.
229
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,858
I TOLD HIM IT'S
THE LIP ALIGNMENT PROBLEM.
230
00:10:18,858 --> 00:10:21,725
WHICH WAS BULLSHIT.
TOTAL.
231
00:10:21,725 --> 00:10:24,025
HMM. SO YOU'RE SAYING
THAT YOU'RE KISSING HIM
232
00:10:24,025 --> 00:10:25,925
BETTER THAN HE'S KISSING YOU.
233
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,925
YEAH. THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.
234
00:10:27,925 --> 00:10:32,725
SOMETIMES THE PERSON
WHO FEELS MOST HOLDS BACK MOST.
235
00:10:32,725 --> 00:10:36,591
HE'S A LAWYER.
HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE FEELS.
236
00:10:36,591 --> 00:10:38,691
HIS LIPS DO.
237
00:10:42,192 --> 00:10:44,325
(sighs)
238
00:10:44,325 --> 00:10:45,825
IT'S TRUE.
(door squeaks)
239
00:10:45,825 --> 00:10:49,591
(horn blares)
240
00:10:49,591 --> 00:10:52,625
IT IS MY ABSOLUTE CONVICTION
THAT IF WE ARE GOING TO...
241
00:10:52,625 --> 00:10:53,892
(inhales sharply) MOUNT...
242
00:10:53,892 --> 00:10:55,225
DON'T SAY "MOUNT."
243
00:10:55,225 --> 00:10:56,892
A PROPER DEFENSE FOR ALANA--
244
00:10:56,892 --> 00:10:59,958
WHO IS THE FUTURE
OF REALLY SUGGESTIVE UNDERWEAR
245
00:10:59,958 --> 00:11:01,925
IN AMERICA--
HEREINAFTER REFERRED TO
246
00:11:01,925 --> 00:11:04,259
AS "SILKY WHACKOFFIA"
247
00:11:04,259 --> 00:11:06,259
AND ASSURE HER
A COURTROOM VICTORY--
248
00:11:06,259 --> 00:11:08,092
AT WHICH TIME SHE WILL BECOME
A BILLIONAIRE
249
00:11:08,092 --> 00:11:10,092
AND MY THIRD WIFE--
250
00:11:10,092 --> 00:11:11,591
YOU NEED TO HAVE
A MORE INTIMATE UNDERSTANDING
251
00:11:11,591 --> 00:11:12,992
OF HER PRODUCT LINE.
252
00:11:12,992 --> 00:11:15,558
BLAH, BLAH. YOU JUST
LIKE TOUCHING THAT STUFF.
253
00:11:15,558 --> 00:11:18,658
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
YOU'RE SO PISSY THIS MORNING.
254
00:11:18,658 --> 00:11:20,058
HMM, TROUBLE IN COPLAND?
255
00:11:20,058 --> 00:11:21,925
SHE IS SEXY, BY THE WAY.
256
00:11:21,925 --> 00:11:25,058
SHE INTO THREESOMES--
HER, ME, THE SQUIRTER?
257
00:11:25,058 --> 00:11:26,858
I'LL BRING MY OWN TOP.
258
00:11:26,858 --> 00:11:30,792
YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'S INTO?
HURTING MY FEELINGS.
259
00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:32,092
SHE TOLD ME I KISSED BAD.
260
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,558
REALLY?
261
00:11:33,558 --> 00:11:34,858
NO ONE EVER SAID THAT
TO ME BEFORE.
262
00:11:34,858 --> 00:11:36,192
HMM.
263
00:11:36,192 --> 00:11:37,691
IT'S OVER BETWEEN US.
264
00:11:37,691 --> 00:11:39,625
BAD KISSING IS
THE KISS OF DEATH.
265
00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:43,159
(clears throat)
WHAT'S YOUR, UM... STYLE?
266
00:11:43,159 --> 00:11:45,025
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
267
00:11:45,025 --> 00:11:47,758
YOUR KISSING STYLE.
SHOW ME.
268
00:11:47,758 --> 00:11:49,259
I'VE KISSED A FEW WOMEN.
I'M OBJECTIVE.
269
00:11:49,259 --> 00:11:51,758
(laughs)
270
00:11:51,758 --> 00:11:53,259
I'M NOT GONNA KISS YOU.
271
00:11:53,259 --> 00:11:56,259
OH, COME ON, MICHAEL.
THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
272
00:11:56,259 --> 00:11:59,159
I-I DON'T DERIVE
ANY EROTIC PLEASURE FROM IT.
273
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,691
ALL RIGHT, TAKE CHARGE.
274
00:12:07,691 --> 00:12:09,591
(clears throat)
275
00:12:09,591 --> 00:12:11,591
(sighs)
276
00:12:11,591 --> 00:12:13,725
DO YOU, UH,
TILT LEFT OR RIGHT?
277
00:12:13,725 --> 00:12:15,025
RIGHT.
278
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:16,992
LOVELY. OH, VERY NICE COLOGNE,
BY THE WAY.
279
00:12:16,992 --> 00:12:18,325
THANK YOU.
TONGUE?
280
00:12:18,325 --> 00:12:21,058
NOT RIGHT NOW.
UNDERSTOOD. MY LIPS ARE YOURS.
281
00:12:23,792 --> 00:12:26,758
HMM. ONE MORE GO.
NEED MORE DATA.
282
00:12:26,758 --> 00:12:28,192
(clears throat)
283
00:12:29,591 --> 00:12:30,958
MM-HMM.
284
00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:34,025
MM-HMM. MM, MM, MM.
285
00:12:34,025 --> 00:12:37,125
(clears throat)
IT WAS GOOD.
286
00:12:37,125 --> 00:12:38,691
BUT NOT GREAT.
287
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,691
NO, I FEEL FULFILLED.
288
00:12:40,691 --> 00:12:42,125
YOU'RE NOT JUST SAYING THAT?
289
00:12:42,125 --> 00:12:43,758
NOW THAT WE'VE KISSED,
MAYBE YOU'RE...
290
00:12:43,758 --> 00:12:45,159
AFRAID TO HURT MY FEELINGS?
291
00:12:45,159 --> 00:12:47,691
NO, I THINK YOU'RE
A VERY GOOD KISSER, MICHAEL.
292
00:12:47,691 --> 00:12:52,625
HOWEVER, I DO HAVE ONE TIP.
IF I MAY.
293
00:12:52,625 --> 00:12:54,225
(clears throat)
YEAH.
294
00:13:04,359 --> 00:13:05,958
(sighs)
295
00:13:05,958 --> 00:13:07,691
AHH.
296
00:13:07,691 --> 00:13:10,092
(sniffs, clears throat)
297
00:13:10,092 --> 00:13:11,825
THAT WAS... THAT WAS NICE.
298
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,259
MM.
WHAT WAS THAT--WHAT WAS THAT
THING YOU WERE DOING?
299
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:14,691
SUCTION.
300
00:13:14,691 --> 00:13:15,892
SUCTION?
301
00:13:15,892 --> 00:13:17,658
SUCTION.
302
00:13:17,658 --> 00:13:19,058
(pats arm)
303
00:13:19,058 --> 00:13:21,325
IT'S YOUR FRIEND.
304
00:13:21,325 --> 00:13:24,625
(cell phone rings)
305
00:13:24,625 --> 00:13:26,292
(ring)
306
00:13:28,159 --> 00:13:30,159
(ring)
307
00:13:30,159 --> 00:13:33,825
(dog barking in distance)
308
00:13:38,558 --> 00:13:42,058
(chuckles)
RELAX. I'M UNARMED.
309
00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:50,925
NICE PLACE.
310
00:13:50,925 --> 00:13:53,758
WHATEVER LOOKS GOOD
IS MY SISTER'S IDEA.
311
00:13:53,758 --> 00:13:55,825
SHE'S THE ONE
WITH THE TASTE.
312
00:13:55,825 --> 00:13:58,259
YOU SAYING
YOU DON'T HAVE TASTE?
313
00:13:58,259 --> 00:14:01,359
MM.
I'M THE GIRL WITH A GUN.
314
00:14:01,359 --> 00:14:04,025
TASTE ISN'T MY... STRENGTH.
315
00:14:04,025 --> 00:14:05,725
WHAT IS?
316
00:14:05,725 --> 00:14:07,359
GOING TOO FAR.
317
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:12,792
LOOK...
318
00:14:12,792 --> 00:14:16,892
I INVITED YOU HERE
TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU...
319
00:14:16,892 --> 00:14:18,225
AND YOUR LIPS...
320
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:21,925
AND MAYBE LATER, YOUR COCK.
321
00:14:23,625 --> 00:14:26,159
WHAT IS IT? DO I SCARE YOU?
322
00:14:26,159 --> 00:14:27,992
A LITTLE.
323
00:14:30,325 --> 00:14:32,792
I FEEL LIKE
YOU SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME.
324
00:14:32,792 --> 00:14:35,025
I JUST HAVE
INTENSE EYE CONTACT.
325
00:14:35,025 --> 00:14:37,259
YOU HAVE INTENSE...
EVERYTHING.
326
00:14:37,259 --> 00:14:41,192
I'M TRYING TO WORK ON THAT.
327
00:14:41,192 --> 00:14:42,892
UM...
328
00:14:42,892 --> 00:14:44,892
I... (chuckles)
329
00:14:44,892 --> 00:14:48,025
I LIED TO YOU
THE OTHER NIGHT...
330
00:14:48,025 --> 00:14:50,259
WHAT I SAID ABOUT YOUR LIPS.
331
00:14:50,259 --> 00:14:51,925
WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT,
I...
332
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,792
REALIZED MAYBE IT WAS ME.
333
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:55,159
(knock on door)
334
00:14:55,159 --> 00:14:57,992
COME IN, RITA.
335
00:14:57,992 --> 00:15:01,092
I'M NOT TOO EARLY, AM I?
336
00:15:01,092 --> 00:15:02,292
YOU MUST BE MICHAEL.
337
00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:03,758
(door closes)
338
00:15:03,758 --> 00:15:07,125
I'M RITA.
339
00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:08,658
WHAT'S GOING ON?
340
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,892
RITA'S AN OLD FRIEND.
341
00:15:11,892 --> 00:15:14,858
I INVITED HERE TO GIVE US
SOME PERSPECTIVE.
342
00:15:14,858 --> 00:15:16,691
YOU KNOW, LIKE I SAID,
343
00:15:16,691 --> 00:15:18,725
MAYBE IT WAS ME.
344
00:16:15,658 --> 00:16:19,159
(all grunting)
345
00:16:30,591 --> 00:16:32,292
OHH!
346
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:35,259
(moaning)
347
00:16:40,192 --> 00:16:43,192
(all grunting)
348
00:17:15,892 --> 00:17:18,691
I STILL REMEMBER
THE EXACT MOMENT THAT I MET VIC
349
00:17:18,691 --> 00:17:20,125
AT THE AUTO SHOW.
350
00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:22,858
I WAS GESTURING
AT THE NEW LEXUS.
351
00:17:22,858 --> 00:17:24,691
NO.
352
00:17:24,691 --> 00:17:26,225
THAT WAS IT.
353
00:17:26,225 --> 00:17:29,225
AND HE WALKS PAST
IN HIS SEXY FLIGHT JACKET,
354
00:17:29,225 --> 00:17:31,825
AND HE LOOKS JUST LIKE
VAL KILMER OUT OF "TOP GUN,"
355
00:17:31,825 --> 00:17:36,825
AND HE SEES ME AND HE SAYS,
"I THINK I LOVE YOU."
356
00:17:36,825 --> 00:17:39,625
AND THEN HE KISSES ME.
357
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,658
AND I KISS HIM BACK.
358
00:17:41,658 --> 00:17:46,558
AND THEN I THINK, OH, GOD,
CHANTAL, WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?
359
00:17:46,558 --> 00:17:52,858
AND THEN I THOUGHT, DON'T STOP,
BECAUSE THIS IS THE REAL THING.
360
00:17:52,858 --> 00:17:54,958
YOU KNOW WHY?
361
00:17:54,958 --> 00:17:56,259
YOU CAN TELL
IF IT'S THE REAL THING
362
00:17:56,259 --> 00:17:58,992
BY THE WAY A MAN KISSES YOU,
363
00:17:58,992 --> 00:18:01,292
AND I WAS SO RIGHT.
364
00:18:01,292 --> 00:18:04,558
THAT'S REAL LOVE...
365
00:18:04,558 --> 00:18:09,691
AND VACATIONS AND EATING OUT
AT FABULOUS RESTAURANTS AND...
366
00:18:09,691 --> 00:18:12,925
JEWELRY... AND... (giggles)
367
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,725
IT DOESN'T HURT THAT
VIC'S HUNG LIKE KING KONG.
368
00:18:15,725 --> 00:18:17,058
(giggles)
369
00:18:17,058 --> 00:18:20,591
WHICH ONE
DO YOU LIKE BETTER,
370
00:18:20,591 --> 00:18:23,192
COUNTRY CLUB "A"
OR COUNTRY CLUB "B"?
371
00:18:23,192 --> 00:18:24,958
WHICHEVER ONE ADMITS JEWS.
372
00:18:24,958 --> 00:18:28,525
I'M SERIOUS. STOP BEING
SO CAVALIER AND SNARKY.
373
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,925
I WAS BEING UNCARING
AND IRONIC.
374
00:18:30,925 --> 00:18:33,591
COME ON. I NEED A LOCATION
FOR PEMMIE'S SURPRISE PARTY.
375
00:18:33,591 --> 00:18:36,792
PEMMIE.
WHO NAMES A KID PEMBURG?
376
00:18:36,792 --> 00:18:38,892
PEMBURG IS A FAMILY NAME.
377
00:18:38,892 --> 00:18:40,525
WE WERE ON THE "MAYFLOWER."
378
00:18:40,525 --> 00:18:42,058
DID YOU HAVE SLAVES?
379
00:18:42,058 --> 00:18:44,292
ARE YOU GONNA HELP ME
OR NOT?
380
00:18:44,292 --> 00:18:46,192
THAT ONE.
REALLY?
381
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:48,025
THE OTHER ONE.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
382
00:18:48,025 --> 00:18:50,992
IT'S A GODDAMN COUNTRY CLUB--
LOT OF WHITE-HAIRED GUYS
383
00:18:50,992 --> 00:18:55,825
WALKING AROUND IN PLAID PANTS
AND BOW TIES.
384
00:18:55,825 --> 00:18:58,058
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU,
MICHAEL?
385
00:18:58,058 --> 00:19:01,825
YOU ARE LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON
SINCE THAT ACCIDENT.
386
00:19:01,825 --> 00:19:05,558
I'M THAT CLOSE TO DEATH,
ALL BETS ARE OFF.
387
00:19:05,558 --> 00:19:08,292
IS THAT WHAT WE ARE--
A BET?
388
00:19:08,292 --> 00:19:12,725
(chuckles) BECAUSE
IF THAT'S WHAT WE ARE...
389
00:19:12,725 --> 00:19:14,691
♪
390
00:19:14,691 --> 00:19:16,625
WE'RE WINNING.
391
00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:20,591
JUST REMEMBER, THERE'S NOTHING
THAT YOU CAN'T TELL ME.
392
00:19:20,591 --> 00:19:22,225
WE'RE ENGAGED.
393
00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:27,725
(man) ♪ SHE TURNED AROUND ♪
394
00:19:27,725 --> 00:19:30,892
♪ AND I WAS HYPNOTIZED ♪
395
00:19:30,892 --> 00:19:32,591
MICHAEL,
THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SONG.
396
00:19:32,591 --> 00:19:33,925
OH, YEAH.
397
00:19:33,925 --> 00:19:35,758
♪ I WAS LOST... ♪
398
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,292
DANCE WITH ME.
399
00:19:37,292 --> 00:19:40,259
COME ON. RIGHT HERE
IN THE STREET. LET'S DO IT.
400
00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:41,825
(laughs)
401
00:19:41,825 --> 00:19:43,558
(giggles)
402
00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,159
OH, WE ARE INSANE.
403
00:19:45,159 --> 00:19:48,892
♪ TO ME ♪
404
00:19:48,892 --> 00:19:52,691
(both grunting,
animals roaring and screeching)
405
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:56,025
♪ ...ETERNITY ♪
406
00:19:56,025 --> 00:19:58,259
PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS.
407
00:20:10,825 --> 00:20:13,558
YEAH, LOOKS LIKE OUR MAN.
LET'S GRAB HIM.
408
00:20:13,558 --> 00:20:15,992
THAT'S NO FUN.
LET'S JUST CHASE HIM A LITTLE.
409
00:20:15,992 --> 00:20:17,591
COME ON.
410
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,858
NO. NO. I KNOW THAT LOOK.
OH, YOU'RE ON EDGE.
411
00:20:19,858 --> 00:20:22,192
PROMISE ME YOU'RE NOT GONNA GO
ALL CHARLIE SHEEN AGAIN.
412
00:20:22,192 --> 00:20:24,092
LAST THING YOU NEED
IS ANOTHER SUSPENSION.
413
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:25,892
I'M JUST MESSING WITH YA.
414
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,259
COME ON.
GIVE ME A LITTLE CREDIT.
415
00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:28,925
I CAN'T, ESPECIALLY WHEN
416
00:20:28,925 --> 00:20:30,691
YOUR BOYFRIEND HASN'T
CALLED YOU IN THREE DAYS.
417
00:20:30,691 --> 00:20:32,625
I HAVEN'T CALLED HIM EITHER,
418
00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:35,992
AND HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND.
HE'S JUST A RANDOM CITIZEN.
419
00:20:35,992 --> 00:20:38,292
REALLY? I THOUGHT YOU TWO
WERE HOT AND HEAVY.
420
00:20:38,292 --> 00:20:39,825
NO BIG DEAL.
421
00:20:39,825 --> 00:20:41,359
MM-HMM, FLASH HIM.
422
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:44,825
(siren wails)
423
00:20:44,825 --> 00:20:47,758
(brakes squeal)
424
00:20:47,758 --> 00:20:48,958
BE RIGHT BACK.
425
00:20:55,625 --> 00:20:57,725
AAH! AAH!
426
00:20:57,725 --> 00:20:59,058
AFTERNOON, MOTHERFUCKER,
427
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:00,825
AND WELCOME TO THE WORLD
OF LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS.
428
00:21:00,825 --> 00:21:02,292
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT, OFFICER?
(handcuffs clicking)
429
00:21:02,292 --> 00:21:03,725
LITTLE THING WE LIKE TO CALL
BREAKING AND ENTERING.
430
00:21:03,725 --> 00:21:05,925
WHAT?!
YEAH.
431
00:21:10,958 --> 00:21:12,192
COMFY BACK THERE?
432
00:21:12,192 --> 00:21:13,858
VERY NICE, THANK YOU.
433
00:21:13,858 --> 00:21:16,992
LOOK, MAYBE YOU GUYS
ARE JUST TOO MUCH ALIKE.
434
00:21:16,992 --> 00:21:18,691
I MEAN, THE LAST PERSON YOU
WANNA GET IN THE RING WITH
435
00:21:18,691 --> 00:21:20,159
IS YOURSELF, RIGHT?
436
00:21:20,159 --> 00:21:22,625
REALLY? IS THAT
YOUR PSYCHOLOGY DEGREE
437
00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:24,025
HANGING OVER THE REARVIEW,
PRESTON?
438
00:21:24,025 --> 00:21:25,725
(laughs)
439
00:21:25,725 --> 00:21:27,958
MADAME, I AM AN ACUTE OBSERVER
OF THE HUMAN CONDITION,
440
00:21:27,958 --> 00:21:29,792
ESPECIALLY YOURS.
441
00:21:29,792 --> 00:21:33,292
ONE THING I KNOW ABOUT YOU,
LIZ--NOTHING YOU CAN'T SOLVE.
442
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:36,825
UP UNTIL NOW.
443
00:21:36,825 --> 00:21:38,325
THIS GUY REALLY GOT
TO YOU.
444
00:21:38,325 --> 00:21:40,591
AS MUCH AS I GOT TO HIM.
445
00:21:40,591 --> 00:21:43,792
ANYWAY, THERE'S OTHER FISH
IN THE SEA.
446
00:21:43,792 --> 00:21:46,292
OH, I BEG TO DIFFER.
SHUT UP BACK THERE.
447
00:21:46,292 --> 00:21:48,192
HEY, PELON, I KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
448
00:21:48,192 --> 00:21:50,359
LEAVE ME ALONE. YOU SHOULD WRITE
THIS DOWN, SWEETHEART.
449
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:51,858
YOU'RE FAR TOO PRETTY.
450
00:21:51,858 --> 00:21:55,591
LISTEN TO ME.
I DON'T GIVE A MAD FUCK
451
00:21:55,591 --> 00:21:57,925
WHAT KIND OF POLE OR BAIT
YOU USE,
452
00:21:57,925 --> 00:22:00,092
IF YOU'RE POOR
OR IF YOU'RE RICH.
453
00:22:00,092 --> 00:22:02,725
YOU'RE GONNA CATCH THE FISH
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CATCH.
454
00:22:02,725 --> 00:22:06,825
¿ME ENTIENDES?
455
00:22:06,825 --> 00:22:10,125
OH, LOAD NUMBER FIVE.
456
00:22:10,125 --> 00:22:14,858
OH, WHY MUST I ALWAYS GO
FOR THE FREAKY CHICKS?
457
00:22:14,858 --> 00:22:18,992
(woman) LUTHER!
THE STRAPS ARE TOO TIGHT.
458
00:22:18,992 --> 00:22:22,992
LOAD NUMBER SIX.
459
00:22:22,992 --> 00:22:26,225
(dog barking in distance)
460
00:22:36,825 --> 00:22:38,792
MICHAEL?
461
00:24:08,892 --> 00:24:10,225
KISS ME.
462
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:14,159
I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE
THE WAY I KISS.
463
00:24:14,159 --> 00:24:18,658
IT'S NOT THAT. IT'S JUST,
I WASN'T SURE YOU MEANT IT.
464
00:24:18,658 --> 00:24:20,591
I DIDN'T REALIZE
IT MATTERED TO YOU.
465
00:24:20,591 --> 00:24:21,992
I DIDN'T EITHER.
466
00:24:32,325 --> 00:24:33,825
MMM.
467
00:24:53,292 --> 00:25:14,025
♪
30161
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.