Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,410
(Soft music playing)
2
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,289
(Hooves clopping)
3
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:47,881
Mr O'Neill?
4
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,383
(Babies crying)
5
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:55,722
Nurse: It's coming out, Peggy.
6
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:58,559
Woman: Leave it in!
Leave it in! (Crying)
7
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,449
Look at you!
8
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:19,830
Look at you! You're an angel.
9
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,711
I'm gonna love you so much.
10
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:28,797
And when you grow up...
11
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:33,844
You'll be the greatest woman
this world has ever seen.
12
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,387
(Baby cooing)
13
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:37,806
Just you wait.
14
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,350
(Ooowe)
15
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,352
- (Camera clicks)
- Woman: And he was right!
16
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,479
(Laughs hysterically)
17
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:47,357
(Exhales deeply)
18
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,861
Hello, sweetheart.
Here, I've seen your daughter.
19
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,613
She's had the baby, ain't she?
20
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,197
Oh, ain't it lovely?
Yeah, I seen it.
21
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,409
It's a dinky little lot,
innit, darlin'? Ta ta.
22
00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,494
(Quietly) Ugly looking thing.
23
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,081
How's your Margaret?
24
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,958
Tell her I said hello,
sweetheart.
25
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,543
Big old girl, ain't she, eh?
26
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,087
Yeah, big old Margaret. (Laughs)
27
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,840
Look! Look at that!
28
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,675
Oh, you've still got
your little dog.
29
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,052
Oh, innit a lovely little thing.
30
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,845
Little dog. (Laughs)
31
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,765
(Groans quietly)
Vicious bastard.
32
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,392
- Sorry I'm late, nan.
- Oh, here he is.
33
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,162
- You come up and see me?
- I've come up to see ya.
34
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,288
You've come up to see me,
ain't ya?
35
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,189
- I have, nan.
- Oh, you are a good boy.
36
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,273
You're late.
37
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:29,650
I was trying to park, nan.
38
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:30,942
You ain't got a car.
39
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,694
I've got a minibus,
for my charity.
40
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,030
They give you a minibus
'cause you're gay?
41
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,114
I'm not gay, nan.
42
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,326
Oh, hello, sweetheart.
Ooh, what you got here?
43
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,869
Tarka dhal and saag aloo.
44
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,388
(Incoherently)
Tarka dhal and saag...
45
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,598
Well, that looks lovely,
don't it?
46
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,207
Yeah, I'll have
some of that, darlin'.
47
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,250
Erm, could you do me some
without the spinach?
48
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,335
Mm, I can do that.
49
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,837
Yes and I...
I don't want no lentils.
50
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,047
I suppose so.
51
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,840
Yeah, and no coriander.
52
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,759
Oh, that would just be a potato.
53
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,469
Oh, yes, smashing.
I'll have a potato.
54
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,471
Thank you, darlin'.
Pay the woman.
55
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,224
Oh, it's a bit plain, innit?
56
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,601
No, nan, the minibus
is a craft-mobile...
57
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,561
- For gays?
- No, a craft-mobile
58
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,313
for people
with emotional difficulties.
59
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:11,817
"A craft-mobile for people
with emotional difficulties."
60
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,652
What a load of old shit!
61
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,197
Ooh... ha-ha,
little fat Buddha. (Laughs)
62
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,301
- I'll have that one.
- Man: That one? Are you sure?
63
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,993
Yes. I love him.
64
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:25,497
Wonderful man.
Outstanding in his field.
65
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,998
Natural authority, you see.
66
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:30,043
When he speaks,
you shut up and listen.
67
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,169
Man: It's £50.
68
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,130
I'll give you 10,
I know his worth.
69
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,632
Done! Been having trouble
shifting this one, to be fair.
70
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,259
Oh, you surprise me, love.
71
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,261
Come on, then,
let's take him home.
72
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,762
Nan, why do you want this?
73
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,806
I just love him.
74
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,434
(Upbeat music plays)
75
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,106
Here, are you still drawing
your cartoons?
76
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,400
- They're animations, nan.
- Nan: Oh, yeah?
77
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,544
Grandson: I'm still doing them.
78
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,153
- I put them on YouTube.
- Nan: Oh.
79
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,863
Grandson:
I've got 30 subscribers now.
80
00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,322
Nan: Oh, someone's gone viral.
81
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,532
Man: All right, joanie love!
82
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,409
Nan: (Loudly) Hello, sweetheart!
83
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,493
(Quietly) Bastard.
84
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,287
- (Thud)
- Mind his head.
85
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,663
- (Grandson grunts)
- Nan: Ooh...
86
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,834
- Hello, mrs Taylor.
- Oh, hello, Carolyn.
87
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,419
Have you met my grandson?
88
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:15,422
This is my grandson, Jamie.
He's come home to see me.
89
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,840
Oh, how lovely.
90
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,175
Well, lovely to meet you.
91
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,218
- It's a real pleasure.
- Jamie: Nice to meet you.
92
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,762
Can we squeeze in?
93
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:22,846
(Grunts)
94
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,014
No chance, son.
95
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,640
(Lift bell dings)
96
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,523
You all right, Colin?
97
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,901
(Grunts softly)
98
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,754
Well, we've just been
to the doctor, actually.
99
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,822
Oh... for your diabetes?
100
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,657
Oh, I don't have diabetes.
101
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,075
Oh... heart disease.
102
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,410
Er, not heart disease.
103
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,788
Gout?
104
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,456
Carolyn: He has to go
for counselling.
105
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,000
- For your gout?
- Er, no.
106
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,503
Apparently,
I've been eating my feelings.
107
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,714
Have ya, darlin'? Oh...
108
00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:02,219
Still, by the looks of things,
they're delicious.
109
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,678
(Lift bell dings)
110
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,556
(Jamie grunting)
111
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,558
What are you huffin'
and puffin' for?
112
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,393
Ooh, let me get that.
113
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:13,772
I have to ask,
114
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,566
why are you carrying
that statue of Robert Mugabe?
115
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:18,902
Who is it?
116
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,238
Oh, I thought
it was Trevor McDonald.
117
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,449
Shame. He's me favourite.
118
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,243
(Jamie grunting)
119
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,165
Mrs Taylor, we were wondering
120
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:35,043
if you would like
to join us for Sunday lunch.
121
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,253
(Inhales deeply)
122
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,921
You can come, too, Jamie,
if you like?
123
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,065
Jamie: Oh, that sounds
really nice.
124
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,632
Oh, we're very busy.
125
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,510
Sorry, our diaries are full.
126
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:46,847
Ta ta.
127
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,723
- Bye.
- Good to meet you.
128
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,560
What are you doing Sunday,
nan? She seemed nice.
129
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:52,853
(Quietly) Shh.
130
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,355
You know they're deviants.
131
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,898
What do you mean "deviants",
nan?
132
00:05:56,982 --> 00:06:00,277
Naturists. The pair of them.
133
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,488
They're having naked parties,
if you don't mind.
134
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,866
- Oh, come on...
- You Mark my words,
135
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:08,034
I know what Sunday lunch means.
136
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:11,538
He'll be sat around the table
with his nies hanging out,
137
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:15,375
she'll have her iils dangling
in a gravy boat. No fear!
138
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,836
I can't believe that.
How'd you know that?
139
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,507
They have organic fruit
and veg delivered.
140
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,968
Once a week. In a box.
141
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,762
It don't mean they're walking
around with no clothes on.
142
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,892
Nan: Can hear 'em, all day.
Touching things.
143
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,477
(Loudly) With their bare arses!
144
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,902
- (Sighs)
- Make us a cup of tea, son.
145
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,116
Jamie: Oh, look at that one.
Fancy handwriting.
146
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:52,704
Let's have a look.
147
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,836
Junk, junk, bi”, bi”,
148
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,546
overdue bill.
149
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,548
Oh, me new cinema pass.
Smashin'.
150
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,718
Final demand, junk, junk,
summons.
151
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:09,804
(Clears throat) Come on, then...
152
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,316
Woman: Dear joanie.
I bet you didn't expect
153
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,485
to hear from me
after all these years.
154
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,321
I've tried to write
this letter so many times,
155
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:29,240
but time is not a luxury
I have any more.
156
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,743
I'm dying, joanie.
157
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:38,041
I have one last wish:
That you will come and see me.
158
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,336
Even if you won't forgive me,
I just wanna see you.
159
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:44,673
I've missed you terribly.
I am still your sister.
160
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,676
With love, your Nelly.
161
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:48,843
Fuck off!
162
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,136
(Crumples paper)
163
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:53,807
Who was it, nan?
164
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:57,560
Ah, no one. Just a bill,
you know. Usual old shit.
165
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,604
You don't normally
get handwritten bills.
166
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,690
Don't you dare read that!
167
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,149
- Nan!
- Jamie, I mean it!
168
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,151
You do,
I'll cut you out me will.
169
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,654
What, and I won't get
the Robert Mugabe statue?
170
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:08,822
(Car horn honks)
171
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,374
- Nan.
- (Sniffs)
172
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,377
- Nan!
- What?
173
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,020
Why do you never talk
about auntie Nell?
174
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,588
Don't you say her name
in this house!
175
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,883
I could take you, you know?
Got the minibus.
176
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,385
What do I wanna go
and see her for?
177
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,137
Because she's dying, nan.
178
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,639
Good.
179
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,433
If you don't go,
you'll regret it.
180
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,035
It's not like you've got
anything else to do.
181
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,144
I've got plenty to do,
182
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,413
- thank you very much.
- Like what?
183
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,188
I've gotta watch me programmes.
184
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:43,982
I've got me sudoku.
185
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:47,027
I've got me wowchers,
they're gonna expire soon.
186
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,111
You'll regret it.
187
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,488
Oh, will I? Pfff... watch me.
188
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,700
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm staying put and that's it.
189
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:54,993
(Knock on door)
190
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,244
(Jamie clears throat)
191
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,538
Me again.
192
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,123
- Sorry to interrupt.
- (Nan mutters)
193
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,250
Er, Colin and I
were just chatting,
194
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,376
- and er...
- Oh...
195
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,045
Seeing as you can't
come over Sunday,
196
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,797
we were wondering if we could
tempt you over another day?
197
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:11,009
Friday or Saturday or whatever
works for you, really.
198
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:14,012
Mm, sorry, love,
I'm completely swamped.
199
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,139
- No, you're not, nan.
- Yes, I am.
200
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,782
She's not.
She's free tonight, actually.
201
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,893
Carolyn: Oh, wonderful!
202
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,246
- Shall we say 8 o'clock, then?
- She'd love that.
203
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,688
- Wouldn't you, nan?
- Er, Jamie...
204
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,249
Nan was just saying
how much she'd like
205
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,584
to get to know
her neighbours better.
206
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:27,609
Colin will be thrilled!
207
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,360
Yes, I bet he will.
208
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:30,671
You'll enjoy that,
won't you, nan?
209
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:31,821
Er, no, I can't come.
210
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,073
Jamie: She'll see you later.
211
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,617
Yeah, I can't come
'cause my sister's dying.
212
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,538
Oh, god.
213
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,042
I'm so sorry.
214
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,752
Yeah. Yeah.
215
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,796
(Sniffles)
Yeah, we were very close.
216
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,799
(Clicks tongue) Got to go
and spend some time with her.
217
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,008
He's taking me to see her.
218
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,885
Yeah, 'course.
219
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,512
Well...
220
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,807
- We'll leave you to it.
- Ah.
221
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,767
Sorry to disturb you.
222
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,019
Good luck with it all.
223
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,105
Nan: Mm... mm.
224
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:10,985
You happy now,
you interfering old Mary Ann?
225
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,322
Go on, then,
go and get your minibus.
226
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,574
(Indie rock music playing)
227
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,662
- Ah!
- (Van horn honks)
228
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,747
(Metal squeaking)
229
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,920
(Engine sputters)
230
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,215
Look at the state of this!
231
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,384
It's to make it stand out.
232
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,052
I'm hoping the bee
will become iconic.
233
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,096
Iconic like the fyre festival.
234
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,142
I might change the name.
235
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,477
Yeah, bit of a mouthful.
236
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,646
(Indie rock music continues)
237
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,871
Right, nan, if we have
one stop in Birmingham,
238
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:05,373
I reckon we can make the last
ferry in liverpool and then...
239
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:06,833
What you talking about?
240
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,835
I think we can get
to Nell's by Sunday.
241
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,670
We're not going to Nell's.
242
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,506
I've got a two-for-one wowcher
for a day spa in coventry.
243
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,091
If we're only going
to a day spa,
244
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,801
why have you brought
so many clothes?
245
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,304
No, darlin',
that's all my snacks.
246
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,014
Coventry's on the way
to Nell's...
247
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,098
Is it?
248
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,059
Here, want a fridge rustler?
249
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,394
Jesus, nan. You can't eat them.
250
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,538
You know what they're made of?
251
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:28,563
Bits of chicken.
252
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,774
Yeah, chickens that have been
bred and kept in micro cages
253
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,861
and then crushed and ground up
and processed. It's appalling.
254
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,946
Mm. Appallingly delicious.
255
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,449
Look at all this toot
you got in here.
256
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,035
Hashtag "road trip".
257
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,536
Hashtag "bants".
258
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,787
Hashtag "crafts".
259
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,706
What's this, knitting needles?
260
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:47,850
You can't have knitting needles
261
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:48,934
around negative thinkers, love.
262
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,644
Well, it depends 'cause
it's a spectrum, isn't it?
263
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:51,729
You can with some of them, yeah.
264
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,230
Well, they... not if
they turn on each other, love.
265
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,255
That's all you need.
266
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,965
Here, ya, look, oi.
Here, how many?
267
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,818
- Jame, how many can I do?
- I don't know, nan.
268
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,761
One... one, two...
269
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:00,970
- Here, Jay.
- What?
270
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,055
- Jay.
- W hat?
271
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,139
- Jamie!
- What?
272
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,433
I've eaten
a multicoloured tarantula.
273
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:06,517
Jamie: Eh?
274
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,853
(Nan laughs)
275
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,063
(Muffled) It's in me...
276
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,290
- It's in me mouth.
- I know what you're doing.
277
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:12,649
(Muffled) Multicoloured.
278
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,733
Those are the legs.
279
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:14,817
Yeah, I know they are.
280
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,152
I'm eating the body.
281
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,696
Take a picture. One, two, three!
282
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,115
I thought I'd left me glasses
at home, but I haven't.
283
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:22,200
Jamie: Mm.
284
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,285
You should put me
in one of your cartoons.
285
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:25,370
(Both chuckle)
286
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,247
I look like a fly.
287
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,457
- Who am I, jame?
- Charles dickens.
288
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,793
- "It was the best of times..."
- Charles dickens.
289
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:36,089
"It was the worst
of times." Charles dickens.
290
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,608
One, two, three, four, five!
Go on, your go.
291
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,109
- Uh... I'm driving, nan!
- Oh, sorry.
292
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,969
(Indie rock music continues)
293
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,059
Nan... will you ever tell me
294
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,602
what happened with auntie Nell?
295
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,062
She's a miserable old whore,
296
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,731
went off to live on an island
off of Ireland, the end.
297
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,650
There you go.
Now you know the whole story.
298
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:56,734
- Nan...
- Now, I don't
299
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,528
- want to talk about it.
- Come on...
300
00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,891
Nah, I gotta take
my angina pill!
301
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,032
Yeah.
302
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:05,618
Delicious.
303
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,246
If you don't tell me
about auntie Nell,
304
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,581
I'll tell you
all about my charity work.
305
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:13,668
Aah, well, you've backed me
into a corner now, son.
306
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:14,752
(Swing music playing)
307
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,757
I was a daddy's girl, you see.
308
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,679
I was a beautiful-looking child.
309
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,099
I loved to bounce.
Bounce, bounce, bounce.
310
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,392
- (Laughs)
- (Camera clicks)
311
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,728
There was only one thing
I loved more than bouncing:
312
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,772
That was my father.
I adored him.
313
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:38,026
Best part of my day was
when he came home from work.
314
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:41,529
I was his pride and joy.
Until one day,
315
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,698
he told me
there was another one.
316
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:47,076
He said to me, "this is Nelly.
She's your sister.
317
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,454
"You're gonna look after her
till the day you die."
318
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,914
- (Camera clicks)
- I wasn't that keen at first.
319
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,001
But it turned out
she liked to bounce an' all.
320
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:59,422
And we became inseparable.
Bounce, bounce, bounce.
321
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:02,050
We bounced our way
all through our childhood.
322
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:06,012
Until the day my mother said
those dreadful words...
323
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,764
Your father died this morning.
324
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,183
- (Girls crying)
- Tuberculosis.
325
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,769
There's nothing we can do,
so let that be an end to it.
326
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,188
Now, stop your snivelling
and buck up.
327
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,231
Aii's fair in love
and war, joanie.
328
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,328
Nan: There weren't
no therapy through crafts
329
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,402
in them days, love.
330
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,738
We had to get straight
on his horse and cart
331
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:24,864
and make a living.
332
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,074
Boy: Come on, Nell!
333
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,451
Nan: As the years went by,
334
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,578
Nell and I started
building up our business.
335
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,455
Hello, sir. Can I
interest you in a carpet...
336
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,624
Hello, madam. What can I do
for you today, eh?
337
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,709
Nan: We were flying high,
me and Nell.
338
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,378
We both had our roles.
339
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:42,423
She made eyes at the fellas,
while I lugged away the gear.
340
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:45,218
'Course, nowadays
you'd call it theft.
341
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,679
Get your gramophone! Gramophone!
342
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,183
Nan: We were a good team,
me and Nell.
343
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:55,895
Should have seen us.
They were the glory days.
344
00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:02,110
But once she got a taste
for it, she didn't wanna stop.
345
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,695
(Indistinct conversations)
346
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,702
We had a plan
to save up enough money
347
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:15,331
to buy a little cottage
on an island off of Ireland.
348
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,376
That was the dream.
It's where my father was born.
349
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,002
When we were young,
350
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,964
he used to tell us it's where
the leprechauns come from.
351
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,844
'Course, can't say
"leprechauns" no more.
352
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:31,055
Nowadays you just say "Irish".
353
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,034
Neville Chamberlain:
You can imagine
354
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,852
what a bitter blow it is to me
355
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,063
that all my long struggle
to win peace has failed.
356
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:42,608
This country
is at war with Germany.
357
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:45,111
- (Air-raid siren wailing)
- (Missile whistling)
358
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:46,571
(Explosion)
359
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,532
Nan: And then it was the blitz.
360
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:50,992
(Big band music playing)
361
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,536
And everyone lived
like they always tell you to.
362
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,746
Like every day was our last.
363
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:56,831
Me and Nell got a job
364
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,709
down the ammunitions factory,
helping out our boys.
365
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,919
Friday night was dance night.
366
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,546
Oh, we used to love it.
367
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,549
We worked hard all week,
then we let our hair down.
368
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,801
- Oh, we had a great time.
- (Both giggling)
369
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:10,928
Mind if I cut in?
370
00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:13,473
Nan: 'Course she was always
more popular with the fellas.
371
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:16,184
(Chuckles) Oh...
Oh, do you mind, joanie?
372
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,852
No, no, 'course not. Go on.
373
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,063
Nan: And I didn't mind.
374
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:22,982
(Young Nell squeals softly)
375
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,400
Not much, anyway.
376
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:30,698
But, as my mother used to say,
"all's fair in love and war."
377
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:37,955
There was
this one fella, though...
378
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,099
- (Camera clicks)
- Terry,
379
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,124
always firing after me.
380
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,501
I got this for you.
381
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,419
Oh, leave off, Terry!
382
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,172
Morning, joanie.
383
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:47,715
Morning, joanie.
384
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,550
Morning, joanie.
Nicked this for ya.
385
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:50,635
(Horse nickers)
386
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,094
Ain't got time
for an horse, tel.
387
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,806
Nan: He 'd been there for
as long as I could remember.
388
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:57,767
Poor sod.
389
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,311
What you doing here, tel?
This is for gl's.
390
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,021
How'd you get in?
391
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,147
Knocked out the doorman.
392
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,942
- We don't have a doorman.
- Oh.
393
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:07,902
Listen, joanie,
394
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,404
I went to sign up today,
but they wouldn't let me.
395
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:11,989
Oh, what,
do you fail the IQ test?
396
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,157
No, I passed that.
397
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,575
What was it, then? Your guts?
398
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:19,121
Flat feet. Apparently
I'm not fit for duty.
399
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,289
Shame.
400
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,334
So I thought... well,
I thought maybe it was a sign.
401
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,187
What, that you should get
your feet looked at?
402
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,964
No, that I'm meant to stay
here and look after you.
403
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,343
Joanie, you know
I've always loved you.
404
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,012
We'd be good together,
you and me.
405
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,684
Oh, tel...
406
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,730
Man: I'm sorry to interrupt.
407
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,275
I know it's rude,
but I can't help myself.
408
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:48,901
Blimey!
409
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:52,989
Ain't you a big black
beautiful sight for sore eyes.
410
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,534
Get off me, tel.
411
00:17:58,828 --> 00:17:59,954
(Chuckles lightly)
412
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,098
I was wondering if you'd like
413
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:02,402
to go out with me Tuesday night?
414
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:03,934
Well, I can't do Tuesday.
How about Monday?
415
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,143
I can't do Monday.
How about Wednesday?
416
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,436
I can't do Wednesday.
How about Friday?
417
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,646
I can't do Friday.
How about Thursday?
418
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:08,939
I can't do Thursday.
How about Saturday?
419
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:11,003
- I can't do Saturday...
- Oh, jog on, you fat yank!
420
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,301
(Bothlaugh)
421
00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:14,385
Wow.
422
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,512
I'll take that as a no, then?
423
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,098
Oh, you weren't being serious,
were you?
424
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,559
I'm absolutely serious.
I think you're marvellous.
425
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,311
- Do you?
- Yes!
426
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:25,563
(Big band music
continues playing)
427
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,440
Can I at least
have this dance, then?
428
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:30,276
Well, yes, you may. (Chuckles)
429
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:31,861
- (Music ends)
- (Applause)
430
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,947
Excuse me,
my costermonger friend...
431
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:38,409
We was just talking
about philosophy, etcetera.
432
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,620
- (Both chuckle)
- (Romantic jazz music playing)
433
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,416
(Quietly)
I'll be off then, joanie.
434
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,881
Woman: (Singing)
Don't I know you?
435
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:55,384
We must have met before
436
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,054
don't I know you?
437
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,182
Are you the one I'm looking for?
438
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:06,437
It's not a mistake
you're here, I'm awake
439
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,691
and don't I know you?
440
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:15,988
I feel I have known you forever
441
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:21,619
forever before
442
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:26,957
yes, I have known you forever...
443
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,626
Young Nell: Who's this
handsome iunk?
444
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,753
Nelly. This is Walter.
445
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,339
He's from america. He's very
tall and he's a black man.
446
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,925
(Laughs) Yes. All these things
are true. Nice to meet you.
447
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,302
'Ere, have you ever
met ai jolson?
448
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,096
Whatever's the matter
with you, Nell?
449
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,597
Just because
Walter's a black man,
450
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,015
it don't mean
he knows ai jolson.
451
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,350
Ai jolson's not a black man.
452
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:45,976
- Both: Ain't he?
- No.
453
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,537
He's a white man
who paints his face black.
454
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:49,021
- Does he?
- Walter: Yes.
455
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,147
Whatever for?
456
00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,691
Well, due to fear and mistrust,
457
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:53,334
white mainstream audiences
take pleasure
458
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,337
in the use of blackface
as a grotesque infantilisation
459
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,681
of black people
and black culture.
460
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,531
Oh... right.
461
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,157
So you have
or you haven't met him?
462
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:01,575
I have not.
463
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,577
- Shame.
- I've always thought so.
464
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,831
Step away
from those white girls, boy.
465
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:07,915
- Excuse me?
- Do what?
466
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,375
He'll step away from no one.
467
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,936
He's got more right
to be here than you have,
468
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,938
- judging by the way you dance.
- Okay, I'll handle it.
469
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,172
No, you stay out of it.
Clear off, you.
470
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,882
Your kind's not welcome
'round here.
471
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,884
I regret ever dancing with you.
472
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,262
- Tainted.
- Likewise.
473
00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:25,349
Come on, Walter,
let's have a proper dance.
474
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,103
Do you mind?
475
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:32,481
Oh, no, no. Not at all.
Why... why would I mind?
476
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:35,067
Okay. Well, see you later,
miss Joan...
477
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,402
Young Nell: Mm.
478
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,279
Come on, then.
479
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,327
Woman: (Continues singing)
I've seen that look
480
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:48,164
I've read this book
481
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:52,835
your Greek's not Greek to me
482
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:56,756
oh, howl know you
483
00:20:56,839 --> 00:21:03,554
you're all I can see
484
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:08,142
oh, howl know you
485
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:14,190
and know you know me
486
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,442
- (young Nell chuckles)
- (Walter laughs)
487
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,570
- (Laughs)
- Walter: That was wonderful.
488
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:22,323
- Pleasure to meet you. Both.
- (Applause)
489
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:23,783
Thank you for making my evening.
490
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:25,701
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
491
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,329
And I hope
I get to see you again...
492
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:32,541
On whatever day of the week
is mutually convenient.
493
00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:36,045
(Chuckles) Yes.
494
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,129
Yes.
495
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:45,846
(Gasps)
496
00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:47,515
Oh, those cheekbones.
497
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,725
Oh, you could
cut yourself on them.
498
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:53,549
- (Soft jazz music playing)
- (Light chatter and laughter)
499
00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:56,357
Nan: But I couldn't
see him straight away,
500
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,193
because we were stuck down
that shelter for weeks.
501
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:01,862
People copping off
left, right and centre.
502
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,240
Not me, though.
503
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,408
I only had eyes for Walter.
504
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:08,702
All right, joanie?
505
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:10,996
Pull over, son.
I'm dying for the lav.
506
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:13,207
Gotta go now.
507
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:15,376
We're 12 miles
from the services, nan.
508
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,686
Well, I'd step on it
if I were you
509
00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:19,046
before I pee myself
all over your arts and crafts.
510
00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:21,590
I can't, nan, I'm already
at the speed limit.
511
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:23,259
Mm, suit yourself.
512
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,389
(Nan grunting)
513
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:32,977
(Straining)
514
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:35,521
Er, here we go.
515
00:22:36,397 --> 00:22:37,815
(Urinating)
516
00:22:40,484 --> 00:22:41,610
(Groans softly)
517
00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:44,280
Nan, you just peed into
a tupperware box, didn't ya?
518
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:46,240
I did, love. Yep.
519
00:22:47,825 --> 00:22:49,243
(Car engine revs)
520
00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:50,327
Ooh...
521
00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:51,495
(Water trickles)
522
00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:53,581
-Oh... (Groans)
523
00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:55,207
I should have put a lid on that.
524
00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:58,335
Looking foward to this day spa.
525
00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:00,588
What a thing, eh? Day spa.
526
00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:02,214
What is a Hollywood, jame?
527
00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:04,800
Got one of them booked.
528
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:07,052
Is it to do with that fella
off the bake off?
529
00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:09,346
- Paul Hollywood, innit?
- Yeah.
530
00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:11,974
Maybe I'll meet him. Don't know.
531
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,143
Love the bake off, jame.
532
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:15,603
- Love it, don't we, eh?
- Yeah.
533
00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:17,313
Sit there and make cupcakes.
534
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:19,440
Ha-ha. It's all changed
though, innit, eh?
535
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:21,525
- It has.
- A while ago now.
536
00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:23,152
So, Mary Berry not in it.
537
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:26,906
You got Prue Leith, Noel edmonds
538
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,616
and that other one
who's left now...
539
00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:30,117
Sandi tokspiss.
540
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,538
Sandifoksfig.
Sand".sandisnogfig.
541
00:23:35,706 --> 00:23:37,124
Sandi stokpig.
542
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:39,752
Standi tok... standi tokpic...
543
00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:44,465
- Sandi to...
- Toksvig.
544
00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:48,177
Toksvig.
545
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,428
Toksvig.
546
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:50,888
Mandy toksvig.
547
00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:57,561
-(Rapping) My name is nan
-Jamie: Yeah
548
00:23:57,645 --> 00:23:59,563
-from London town -what?
549
00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:01,565
-You got a problem -yeah
550
00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:02,775
I'll take ya down!
551
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:04,068
Both: Roll call!
552
00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:07,988
Shabooya-yah-yah
shabooya, roll call!
553
00:24:08,072 --> 00:24:11,617
Shabooya-yah-yah
shabooya, roll call!
554
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:12,993
My name is Jamie...
555
00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:15,412
(Music playing on stereo)
556
00:24:15,496 --> 00:24:19,041
Ooh, where they gone, then?
I'm dying for a rustler.
557
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:22,169
Oh... I can't find them.
558
00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:25,339
Oh... er...
559
00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:29,760
Oh, here they are! Oh...
Ooh, smell that!
560
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:37,643
Oh, Jamie,
are we in one of your cartoons now?
561
00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:39,770
They're animations, nan.
562
00:24:39,937 --> 00:24:42,231
Oh! Ain't it marvellous, eh?
563
00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:45,693
Better make a snack stop.
564
00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:48,195
- Ugh".
- Won't be a minute.
565
00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:51,532
Don't like them, don't
like them, like them.
566
00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:53,742
That'll keep me going.
567
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:54,827
Jamie: Mm-hmm.
568
00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:56,120
Mm. Delicious.
569
00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:57,913
- (Car door closes)
- Nan: Hello.
570
00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,499
Get a job!
571
00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:01,959
Jamie: What did you do that for?
572
00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:04,044
Nan: Breaks up the, mm,
journey, don't it?
573
00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:06,088
Come on then, nan, tell me more.
574
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:09,174
Nan: If you must know,
me and Walter finally
575
00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:10,858
- found a night to meet.
- (All laughing)
576
00:25:10,884 --> 00:25:14,304
Tuesday. Nelly tagged along.
577
00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:17,850
Me and Walter got on
like eyes are winking.
578
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:19,393
He saw me for who I really was.
579
00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:21,061
(Walter laughs hysterically)
580
00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:23,897
Jamie: Don't tell me you did
your boiled egg routine?
581
00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:26,358
Nan: What, me eggy eyed-
llzard tongue combo?
582
00:25:26,442 --> 00:25:27,985
- (Cackles)
- 'Course I did, son!
583
00:25:28,068 --> 00:25:29,737
I was trying to impress him.
584
00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,280
And it worked.
585
00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:34,408
'Course Nelly got
the right needle.
586
00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:37,244
She couldn't bear
me getting the attention.
587
00:25:37,786 --> 00:25:40,414
So she found her own way
to get noticed.
588
00:25:40,497 --> 00:25:42,041
(Audience gasps)
589
00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:45,085
Nan: But I made him laugh, see?
590
00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:47,129
(Both laugh hysterically)
591
00:25:49,048 --> 00:25:50,716
(Laughing)
592
00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:54,428
What you two lunatics
laughing about now?
593
00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:56,197
Joanie was doing an impression
594
00:25:56,221 --> 00:25:58,140
of mrs McDonald
down at the market.
595
00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,118
(Scottish accent) You do that
again and I'll skin ya,
596
00:26:00,142 --> 00:26:02,186
- ya wee bastard!
- (All laugh)
597
00:26:04,354 --> 00:26:06,482
Ock aye the noo! (Laughs)
598
00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:07,566
Walter: Mm.
599
00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:09,089
Nan: She was shocking
at impressions.
600
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:10,569
-Mm. Embarrassing.
601
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:13,131
I dunno what you two
are talking about
602
00:26:13,155 --> 00:26:14,156
half the time, anyway.
603
00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:15,866
(Chuckles lightly)
604
00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:18,327
(Young Nell
licking fingers noisily)
605
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:25,501
Nan: But she did have
a tidy pair of knockers,
606
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,211
which, at the end of the day,
607
00:26:27,294 --> 00:26:30,339
he valued more highly
than regional accents.
608
00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:32,508
Young Nell: Mm. Nan: Shame.
609
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,593
(Lively music playing)
610
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,350
- But as the weeks went by...
- (Groans and sniffles)
611
00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:44,228
Nelly got between us. Literally.
612
00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:46,939
She bided her time
and sealed the deal.
613
00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:52,736
(Young Nell chuckling happily)
614
00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:58,283
Don't go. What would
we do without you?
615
00:26:58,367 --> 00:27:00,494
Oh, yeah. Don't be silly, stay.
616
00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:02,097
You won't know
what happens at the end.
617
00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:05,207
Oh, I... I don't think
anything important.
618
00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:07,209
(Young Nell moaning softly)
619
00:27:08,502 --> 00:27:12,422
Nan: Still,
all's fair in love and war.
620
00:27:12,506 --> 00:27:13,549
(Lively music continues)
621
00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:24,685
What you thinking about, nan?
622
00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:28,981
I was thinking...
623
00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:33,569
It never fails to amaze me
when I see a fat girl married.
624
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:35,821
Nan, what is wrong with you?
625
00:27:35,904 --> 00:27:38,031
Curvy brides' boutique.
626
00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:41,118
Seen that?
Oh, that's me programme.
627
00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:44,288
Fat girls getting married.
Amazing, innit?
628
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:47,416
Enough of 'em for three series.
629
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:49,543
Most of 'em to skinny blokes.
630
00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:51,587
Boggles your mind.
631
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:53,064
Girl: You wanna get us
a drink, you two?
632
00:27:53,088 --> 00:27:54,728
Jamie: Come on, nan,
let's get some sleep.
633
00:27:56,967 --> 00:27:58,218
Hold on...
634
00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:00,804
This don't look like coventry.
635
00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:03,807
Everyone's orange.
636
00:28:03,891 --> 00:28:06,059
(Brit-rock music playing
on stereo)
637
00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:11,440
It's liverpool, nan.
638
00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:13,692
I think I missed the turning.
639
00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:15,255
I know what
you're trying to do, love.
640
00:28:15,736 --> 00:28:17,696
You're trying to trick me
into going to see Nell
641
00:28:17,779 --> 00:28:19,019
and I'm not gonna stand for it.
642
00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:21,825
But seeing as it's late
643
00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:24,203
and they've got two-for-ones
on jager bombs,
644
00:28:24,286 --> 00:28:27,039
we'll stay here tonight.
But, you Mark my words,
645
00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:30,042
6 o'clock tomorrow morning,
we are out of here.
646
00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:33,587
You are taking me
to a day spa in coventry,
647
00:28:33,670 --> 00:28:36,840
where I'm getting a manicure,
my eyebrows threaded
648
00:28:36,924 --> 00:28:40,093
and a Hollywood.
Whatever that is.
649
00:28:42,763 --> 00:28:44,973
Woman: You can't park there!
650
00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:46,308
What's that?
651
00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:49,102
I said, you can't park there!
652
00:28:54,107 --> 00:28:56,652
Oh, have a look!
653
00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,362
Hello, sweetheart!
654
00:28:58,445 --> 00:28:59,821
You...
655
00:28:59,905 --> 00:29:01,698
Not seen you in ages!
656
00:29:01,782 --> 00:29:02,908
Who is it, nan?
657
00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:04,368
Here, jame, do you remember?
658
00:29:04,451 --> 00:29:08,872
It's that bastard woman
from up the council!
659
00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:10,791
You used to work
up the council, didn't ya?
660
00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:12,751
I did. Until you got me sacked.
661
00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:14,169
Because you were a bastard.
662
00:29:14,253 --> 00:29:15,379
What you doing now, love?
663
00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:16,922
Come back to liverpool.
664
00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:18,924
I had to.
'Cause you got me fired
665
00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:21,802
for being insensitive
to the needs of the elderly.
666
00:29:21,885 --> 00:29:23,512
Well, you were very insensitive.
667
00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:25,514
You stopped me
using a communal sky dish.
668
00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:28,767
It wasn't communal! You were
stealing from your neighbour.
669
00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:30,727
You said I traumatised ya.
670
00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:32,854
I was very traumatised!
671
00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:34,690
I missed the finale
of ex on the beach!
672
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:36,650
I have dreamt
about seeing you again.
673
00:29:36,733 --> 00:29:38,735
Well, whatever floats
your boat, love.
674
00:29:38,819 --> 00:29:39,903
And now here you are.
675
00:29:39,987 --> 00:29:43,073
Illegally parked
across three disabled bays.
676
00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:45,993
Well, here's lucky...
677
00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:48,662
I've got three disabled badges!
678
00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:51,415
- Where'd you get them?
- From up the council!
679
00:29:51,498 --> 00:29:53,667
They've been ever so nice
to me since you left.
680
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,085
You shouldn't have three.
681
00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:58,880
And yet I do. Riddle me that.
682
00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:01,758
Oh, yeah, I do remember.
It's ms mahler, isn't it?
683
00:30:01,842 --> 00:30:03,760
It's officer mahler now.
684
00:30:05,762 --> 00:30:08,432
There is a distinct smell
of urine in this minibus.
685
00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:09,558
Mm, that was him.
686
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,726
Let's go, nan.
687
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:12,019
Careful, you.
688
00:30:12,102 --> 00:30:14,604
If you put a foot wrong
while you're in my city,
689
00:30:14,688 --> 00:30:16,231
I'll be onto you.
690
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:18,942
I am a member
of the road policing unit.
691
00:30:19,568 --> 00:30:21,445
- Traffic warden.
- Traffic police.
692
00:30:21,528 --> 00:30:23,405
- Traffic warden.
- They are vastly different.
693
00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:24,614
Do you give out tickets?
694
00:30:24,698 --> 00:30:25,866
Yes, I do.
695
00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:27,367
Then you're a traffic warden.
696
00:30:28,410 --> 00:30:31,038
Anyway, lovely to see you again.
697
00:30:31,121 --> 00:30:34,624
I'm glad you've maintained
that snap-on hairdo.
698
00:30:34,708 --> 00:30:36,376
It's like a lego hat, innit?
699
00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:37,919
Come on, nan, let's go.
700
00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:42,132
Oh, looks like
this was named after you.
701
00:30:42,883 --> 00:30:46,053
That is grossly offensive
to an officer of the law.
702
00:30:46,136 --> 00:30:49,264
Well, it's what most people
call traffic wardens, anyway.
703
00:30:49,348 --> 00:30:50,891
Ta ta, square head!
704
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,688
(Nan and Jamie
chattering indistinctly)
705
00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:09,034
- (Muffled party music playing)
- (Muffled shouting)
706
00:31:10,410 --> 00:31:11,888
Jamie: I'll go
and have a word with them.
707
00:31:11,912 --> 00:31:13,747
No, leave off.
708
00:31:13,830 --> 00:31:15,415
What you gonna do, invite them
709
00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:18,043
to a "find the goddess within"
workshop?
710
00:31:18,126 --> 00:31:20,003
No, I'll just ask them politely.
711
00:31:20,087 --> 00:31:21,338
Like a chicken shit?
712
00:31:21,421 --> 00:31:22,464
What do you call me?
713
00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:24,132
Chicken... shit.
714
00:31:24,216 --> 00:31:26,051
Nobody calls me chicken shit!
715
00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:27,636
Well, I do all the time.
716
00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:29,554
I'll sort it.
717
00:31:29,638 --> 00:31:33,642
No, leave off, Marty mcfly,
I'll deal with this.
718
00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:37,187
Nan, don't.
They sound really drunk.
719
00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:38,897
Nah, it's all right, son,
720
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,816
I once knocked out
a skinhead in magaluf.
721
00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:43,860
I think I can handle a couple
of pissed-up rugby lads.
722
00:31:46,822 --> 00:31:49,032
- (Party music blaring)
- (Noisy shouting)
723
00:32:01,795 --> 00:32:02,838
(Whistles)
724
00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:04,881
(Music stops)
725
00:32:04,965 --> 00:32:08,510
Now, listen up! Millennials!
726
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:15,934
- (Muffled thud)
- (People cheering)
727
00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:19,229
I said, "shove it up your arse,
728
00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:20,522
"it's only Tuesday."
729
00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:22,357
(All laughing)
730
00:32:26,820 --> 00:32:28,613
(Cheering)
731
00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:31,199
Oh! Give us
another bit of lemon,
732
00:32:31,283 --> 00:32:32,534
that's repeating on me!
733
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:34,554
- Get her one, come on!
- Come on, let's go again!
734
00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:36,163
- Down again!
- (Cheering)
735
00:32:37,164 --> 00:32:38,206
Hello.
736
00:32:38,290 --> 00:32:39,541
(Muffled) Hello, darlin'!
737
00:32:41,251 --> 00:32:44,254
Hello, jame. It's my grandson.
738
00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:48,091
Come down and see me.
Come down and see me!
739
00:32:48,175 --> 00:32:50,111
Nan, don't you think we should
be getting some rest?
740
00:32:50,135 --> 00:32:52,471
No! I'm hanging with me squad!
741
00:32:52,554 --> 00:32:54,389
Meet me pals. This is froggo,
742
00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:56,183
this is mabbo, this is nutsack,
743
00:32:56,266 --> 00:32:58,310
this is piss up,
this is crystal meth Cathy,
744
00:32:58,393 --> 00:32:59,620
- this is arsemunch...
- Arsemunch.
745
00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:01,813
And this one here
on the end, this is Dan.
746
00:33:01,897 --> 00:33:03,398
- He's gonna kill us all.
- Yep.
747
00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:05,734
Come on! Do a shot!
748
00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:08,361
All: Do a shot! Do a shot!
749
00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:10,906
No, I don't want to, nan.
I've gotta be up early.
750
00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:13,366
All: Drink, drink, drink,
dnnk, dnnk, dnnk, dnnk!
751
00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:15,285
And I've gotta drive
in the morning!
752
00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:18,580
Shame! Boo!
Come on then, nutsack.
753
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:20,665
Load me up again!
754
00:33:20,749 --> 00:33:22,792
(Cheering)
755
00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:28,089
(Cheering noisily)
756
00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:34,137
- (Laughter)
- (Burping)
757
00:33:34,221 --> 00:33:36,598
(All cheer and laugh)
758
00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:40,810
Oh! Look out, here she is...
759
00:33:40,894 --> 00:33:42,604
- Sir Ken dodd.
- (Group laughing)
760
00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:44,940
Are you aware that you're
being drunk and disorderly?
761
00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:48,944
Are you aware how much
like k.D. Iang you look?
762
00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:50,755
Keep your voice down,
people are trying to sleep.
763
00:33:50,779 --> 00:33:51,863
Nan: Their loss.
764
00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:54,658
They won't get
another chance to catch
765
00:33:54,741 --> 00:33:58,119
crystal meth Cathy
burp the alphabet!
766
00:33:58,203 --> 00:33:59,287
Go on, love.
767
00:33:59,371 --> 00:34:01,790
(Burps) (Grouplaughsandcheers)
768
00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:02,874
Now listen,
769
00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:05,877
it's all just a laugh
with people like you.
770
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:09,297
Coming in, taking advantage
of the system
771
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:11,758
and good
hard-working people like me.
772
00:34:12,509 --> 00:34:14,844
I had to rebuild my life
'cause of you.
773
00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:16,680
While you remain oblivious
774
00:34:16,763 --> 00:34:19,015
to the damage you cause
all around ya.
775
00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:23,687
Well, now that I've got you
in my sights again,
776
00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:25,897
I won't let you out of it.
777
00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:28,316
And I will have my revenge...
778
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,820
In this world or the next.
779
00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:34,197
Right, yep, sounds like a plan.
780
00:34:34,281 --> 00:34:35,991
- Yep, see ya!
- (Burps)
781
00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:37,993
(Group cheers and laughs)
782
00:34:38,535 --> 00:34:40,537
(Burps) (Groupcheers)
783
00:34:41,705 --> 00:34:42,956
Is that from gladiator?
784
00:34:44,958 --> 00:34:48,295
All: Nan! Nan! Nan! Nan!
Nan! Nan! Nan! Nan!
785
00:34:48,378 --> 00:34:50,547
- Can't hear ya!
- (Dance music playing)
786
00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:53,592
- What's my name?
- (Laughing and whooping)
787
00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:56,428
- Come on, then!
- Yeah!
788
00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:58,263
(Music stops)
789
00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:10,609
(Dance music resumes)
790
00:35:20,744 --> 00:35:22,078
Whoo!
791
00:35:22,162 --> 00:35:24,247
Better take me angina pill.
792
00:35:25,624 --> 00:35:26,916
(Cackles)
793
00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:28,835
Here we go!
794
00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:32,422
Oh... (Cackles)
795
00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:36,384
What's up, nan?
796
00:35:36,468 --> 00:35:37,927
I dropped me pill!
797
00:35:38,928 --> 00:35:40,847
You wanna drop a pill?
798
00:35:40,930 --> 00:35:43,099
Yeah, dropped me pill.
799
00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:44,934
Are you sure?
800
00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:47,228
Well, 'course I'm sure!
801
00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:49,648
- (Legend! {Nanlaughs)
802
00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:51,733
(Dance music continues)
803
00:35:58,031 --> 00:35:59,449
(Laughter)
804
00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:02,744
Oh, that's it! You found it!
805
00:36:03,828 --> 00:36:06,331
- Thank you, arsemunch.
- (Chuckles)
806
00:36:06,414 --> 00:36:07,707
(Laughs)
807
00:36:11,753 --> 00:36:13,797
- Delicious.
- (Both laugh)
808
00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:16,591
Mm? Mm?
809
00:36:19,511 --> 00:36:20,720
(Giggles)
810
00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:28,103
Oh... oh, oh, oh, oh...
Here we go! (Cackles)
811
00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:30,313
I need... I need to come in.
812
00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:31,398
In you go.
813
00:36:31,481 --> 00:36:32,982
Excuse me! Excuse me!
814
00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:38,488
Nan? Nan?
815
00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,408
Oi! Oi!
816
00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:43,535
- Jamie! What's up?
- Where's my nan?
817
00:36:45,078 --> 00:36:46,746
(Nan cackling)
818
00:36:48,623 --> 00:36:52,460
- Fuckin' have it!
- (Crowd cheering)
819
00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:56,089
(Nan grunting)
820
00:37:01,094 --> 00:37:02,846
(Continues grunting)
821
00:37:02,929 --> 00:37:05,306
(Yelling and cackling)
822
00:37:08,143 --> 00:37:09,519
(Cheering continues)
823
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:15,567
(Squealing softly)
824
00:37:18,194 --> 00:37:20,196
- (Crowd cheering)
- (Dance music continues)
825
00:37:22,949 --> 00:37:24,159
Jamie: Excuse me!
826
00:37:26,828 --> 00:37:28,830
Nan: Ooh! Mind me canary!
827
00:37:28,913 --> 00:37:30,331
Nan! Nan!
828
00:37:31,166 --> 00:37:32,292
(Cackles)
829
00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:38,882
Hello there, sweetheart!
830
00:37:40,592 --> 00:37:41,760
(Chuckles)
831
00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:44,512
It's like...
832
00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:47,807
It's like being on the moon,
innh, eh?
833
00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:49,601
Are we on the moon?
834
00:37:49,684 --> 00:37:51,102
Jamie: We're in liverpool, nan.
835
00:37:51,186 --> 00:37:52,854
Nan: No!
836
00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:56,483
Ain't it amazing how the feet
get on the floor,
837
00:37:56,566 --> 00:37:58,109
and theyju...
838
00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:03,865
(Singsongy) Oh, officer mahler!
839
00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:05,366
- Get off!
- Bring it in...
840
00:38:05,450 --> 00:38:07,535
Oh... (Laughs)
841
00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:11,039
Here... oh, it's a nice
bit of kit, love.
842
00:38:11,164 --> 00:38:12,349
- (Siren whoops)
- That is police property!
843
00:38:12,373 --> 00:38:14,292
- Jamie: Nan...
- Jame, put the hat on me.
844
00:38:14,375 --> 00:38:16,503
Have a go with the hat. Ha-ha.
845
00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:19,047
(Zipper sounding)
846
00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:21,674
All units.
847
00:38:21,758 --> 00:38:23,319
Officer on radio: Location,
please, officer mahler.
848
00:38:23,343 --> 00:38:24,344
Roger that.
849
00:38:27,847 --> 00:38:29,933
- Can you hear that as well?
- Yeah.
850
00:38:30,016 --> 00:38:31,202
Oh, look...
Ooh, how's that happened?
851
00:38:31,226 --> 00:38:32,227
All right.
852
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,729
Oh... you can
leave me here, jame.
853
00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:36,898
- Oh, no.
- I like it here!
854
00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:38,858
Oh, it's nice. Look at the sky.
855
00:38:39,776 --> 00:38:41,152
-No, nan.
856
00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:42,695
Put that hat on.
857
00:38:43,321 --> 00:38:46,574
Put that on your head, love.
Put that on.
858
00:38:47,575 --> 00:38:49,077
Cover that up.
859
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,329
I love the scouse.
860
00:38:51,412 --> 00:38:54,165
I love the scouse.
I do, darlin'.
861
00:38:54,249 --> 00:38:56,876
Why do I love the scouse
so much, jame?
862
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,086
Mind you, I don't know how
863
00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:01,047
anyone understands what
they're saying. Hollyoaks.
864
00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:03,883
T's all... (Gurgles) Innh, eh?
865
00:39:03,967 --> 00:39:06,344
(Gurgles) ...And a... (Gurgles).
866
00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:08,680
Where is she? Mwah...
867
00:39:08,763 --> 00:39:11,391
I love that one!
Mwah, mwah, mwah...
868
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:13,810
- Come on, nan.
- Mwah, mwah...
869
00:39:13,893 --> 00:39:14,894
Jamie: Come on.
870
00:39:14,978 --> 00:39:18,064
Oh, she's my favourite scouser!
871
00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:19,691
Ooh, look how many stairs.
872
00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:20,775
(Door closes)
873
00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:24,904
I will get you, old woman.
I will get you.
874
00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:27,824
Careful... shit.
875
00:39:28,992 --> 00:39:31,911
I love you, jame...
Oh, ain't that soft, eh?
876
00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:34,122
Ah... you know...
877
00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:36,165
You know that though,
don't you? You know that.
878
00:39:36,249 --> 00:39:37,250
I do, nan.
879
00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:40,253
Yes, you know
'cause you are a good boy.
880
00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:41,421
I know, nan.
881
00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:42,982
- No, down here, nan.
- You are a good boy.
882
00:39:43,006 --> 00:39:45,341
Ah, yeah... do you know that?
883
00:39:46,050 --> 00:39:47,218
You know it, don't you?
884
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:49,220
(Nan sighs)
885
00:39:50,597 --> 00:39:51,764
Er, listen...
886
00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:56,352
- What?
- I didn't say anything.
887
00:39:56,436 --> 00:39:57,645
Shh!
888
00:39:59,981 --> 00:40:05,278
I can be an absolute mare
to you, I know.
889
00:40:05,361 --> 00:40:06,613
I know.
890
00:40:08,531 --> 00:40:10,366
And I don't... I don't...
891
00:40:10,992 --> 00:40:14,913
So fuckin' soft, this is...
892
00:40:16,205 --> 00:40:19,667
I don't... I don't always
tell you how I feel.
893
00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:20,919
Jamie: Mm.
894
00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:25,715
But I am telling you now,
right now...
895
00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:27,467
(Mumbles indistinctly)
896
00:40:27,592 --> 00:40:30,553
What's under there?
Look at this!
897
00:40:30,637 --> 00:40:33,348
Look at the little hands.
898
00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:37,560
Yeah, I am telling you, son...
899
00:40:41,314 --> 00:40:43,358
You make me so proud.
900
00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:47,445
I love you, darlin'.
901
00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:50,949
Thanks, nan, I love you too.
902
00:40:51,032 --> 00:40:52,450
(Chuckles)
903
00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:56,454
And I do miss my Nell.
904
00:40:58,164 --> 00:41:00,792
Oh... I miss her.
905
00:41:03,503 --> 00:41:04,671
(Farting)
906
00:41:04,754 --> 00:41:06,089
(Coughing)
907
00:41:07,256 --> 00:41:09,467
Nan: Oh, get up,
you lazy bastard!
908
00:41:09,550 --> 00:41:12,261
Come on, we've got
a spa to get to!
909
00:41:12,345 --> 00:41:14,055
Well, that was nice
while it lasted.
910
00:41:14,138 --> 00:41:16,683
Ooh, useless. No stamina.
911
00:41:16,766 --> 00:41:19,060
(Farts) Ooh.
That was one I didn't want.
912
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:23,272
Jamie: Right,
let's go to Nell's.
913
00:41:23,356 --> 00:41:27,110
Nan: We're going to coventry!
(Burps) Ooh... manners.
914
00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:33,866
Jamie: Oh, hello.
915
00:41:33,950 --> 00:41:36,202
Our favourite
traffic warden's up early.
916
00:41:36,285 --> 00:41:38,621
What an absolute fruitcake.
917
00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:40,498
- (Mobile chimes)
- Oh.
918
00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:43,084
Nan, who keeps texting ya?
919
00:41:43,167 --> 00:41:45,586
Oh, we've got a group chat,
me and the lads.
920
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:49,090
Froggo's just sent me a photo
of him spewing on a cat.
921
00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:52,343
(Laughs) That's just...
Classic froggo, that is.
922
00:41:52,427 --> 00:41:53,904
Did you ever get together
with Walter?
923
00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:56,347
Chicken bites, chicken skewers,
924
00:41:56,431 --> 00:41:59,892
pork shots. High in protein,
big on flavour.
925
00:41:59,976 --> 00:42:02,478
I mean, absolutely delicious.
926
00:42:02,562 --> 00:42:03,646
Look at that!
927
00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:07,817
They've squashed all that meat
into one tasty mouthful.
928
00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:10,028
- (Smacks lips) Smashing.
- Nan!
929
00:42:10,111 --> 00:42:12,030
(Music playing on stereo)
930
00:42:17,952 --> 00:42:19,579
Nan: Go on, jame, your turn.
931
00:42:19,662 --> 00:42:21,372
-(Rapping) My name is Jamie
-yeah!
932
00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:23,416
- Hip hip hooray!
- Yep!
933
00:42:23,499 --> 00:42:25,334
-I drive a minibus -yep!
934
00:42:25,418 --> 00:42:26,711
- Because...
- Because I'm gay
935
00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:27,795
roll call!
936
00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:29,005
That's it. Yeah!
937
00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:31,758
That's it,
that's the way it goes. Yeah.
938
00:42:31,841 --> 00:42:35,011
I mean,
"hip hip hooray" bit was pony.
939
00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:38,097
But you're only starting out,
it's all right.
940
00:42:38,181 --> 00:42:39,640
(Car horns blaring)
941
00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:41,809
(Rock 'n' roll music
playing on stereo)
942
00:42:42,435 --> 00:42:44,312
(Imperceptible)
943
00:42:51,652 --> 00:42:54,405
Gotta say, nan, I'm really
impressed with your stamina.
944
00:42:54,489 --> 00:42:55,490
It's amazing how you...
945
00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:56,991
(Snores)
946
00:42:59,952 --> 00:43:01,120
(Grunts softly)
947
00:43:01,913 --> 00:43:03,956
Sorry, nan,
but we've come too far.
948
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:05,792
(Motorbike engine roaring)
949
00:43:07,877 --> 00:43:09,545
(Irish music playing)
950
00:43:09,629 --> 00:43:10,838
(Tyres squeal)
951
00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:13,257
- (Seagulls squawking)
- Oh... oh...
952
00:43:13,341 --> 00:43:14,842
(Nan continues snoring)
953
00:43:19,847 --> 00:43:21,516
Don't wake up. Please don't wake up!
954
00:43:24,393 --> 00:43:26,312
- (People shouting)
- (Nan continues snoring)>
955
00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:30,817
(retching)
956
00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:34,445
(Nan continues snoring)
957
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,287
(Car horns honking)
958
00:43:43,371 --> 00:43:46,666
People: (Singing)
Olé! Ole! Olé! Ole!
959
00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:48,668
Oh... (Exclaims)
960
00:43:48,751 --> 00:43:50,628
Oosh! What's that?
961
00:43:51,587 --> 00:43:52,630
Where am I?
962
00:43:52,713 --> 00:43:53,840
(People continue singing)
963
00:43:53,923 --> 00:43:56,259
I'm not in Ireland, am I?
964
00:43:57,718 --> 00:43:58,970
Am I in Ireland?
965
00:43:59,053 --> 00:44:01,389
I'm in fucking Ireland?
966
00:44:02,181 --> 00:44:03,432
What have you done?
967
00:44:03,516 --> 00:44:04,892
Sorry, nan. I just thought
968
00:44:04,976 --> 00:44:07,395
we can't go back,
so we may as well go fonnard.
969
00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:09,105
If you don't wanna see Nell,
that's fine,
970
00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:12,191
but I'd like to meet her.
You can just wait in the bus.
971
00:44:12,275 --> 00:44:15,069
Oh, all right. Come on, then.
972
00:44:15,153 --> 00:44:18,072
But after we've had
a quick drink, eh?
973
00:44:18,156 --> 00:44:20,992
Proper guinness, quench
me thirst, then we'll be off.
974
00:44:21,075 --> 00:44:22,660
Guinness? It's 9:00am.
975
00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:24,287
When in Rome.
976
00:44:24,370 --> 00:44:27,832
Both: (Singing)
And it's no, nay, never
977
00:44:27,915 --> 00:44:29,041
go on, my son!
978
00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:32,003
No, nay, never, no more
979
00:44:32,086 --> 00:44:36,674
will I play the wild rover
980
00:44:36,757 --> 00:44:39,677
no, never, no more!
981
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:40,761
(Laughter)
982
00:44:40,887 --> 00:44:42,114
Come on, nan,
we should get going.
983
00:44:42,138 --> 00:44:44,557
Oh, my grandson Jamie.
984
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,018
Here, come and meet
my new best friend, Mick.
985
00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:49,937
I love your nan!
What a treat, you lucky fella.
986
00:44:50,021 --> 00:44:51,647
Yeah. She's a real prize.
987
00:44:51,731 --> 00:44:54,692
Ooh, look, what you got there?
988
00:44:54,775 --> 00:44:57,820
M-M-M. What's that stand for?
Mick Mick Mick?
989
00:44:57,904 --> 00:45:00,031
- You got a stutter?
- (Both laughing)
990
00:45:00,114 --> 00:45:01,532
She's the best!
991
00:45:01,616 --> 00:45:03,492
Nan: Listen to that accent,
jame.
992
00:45:03,576 --> 00:45:07,288
Everything he says sounds like
good news on a sunny morning.
993
00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:09,916
Well, you say that,
but I have my dark days.
994
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:11,792
Lilting melody.
995
00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:13,920
Sometimes I struggle
to get up in the morning...
996
00:45:14,003 --> 00:45:16,005
I've never been
properly diagnosed,
997
00:45:16,088 --> 00:45:18,132
but I'm pretty sure
I have clinical depression.
998
00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:21,761
A real tonic you are, son!
I could listen to him all day.
999
00:45:21,844 --> 00:45:23,262
- You have, nan.
- (Laughs)
1000
00:45:23,346 --> 00:45:24,722
Come on, we've gotta go.
1001
00:45:24,805 --> 00:45:26,140
Nan: Mick needs a lift.
1002
00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:27,642
One for the road, son'?
1003
00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:29,405
Yeah, let's. Why not drown
me sorrows, huh?
1004
00:45:29,477 --> 00:45:31,437
- (Laughs)
- See what I mean.
1005
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:32,730
(Cackles)
1006
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:34,398
Shabooya, roll call!
1007
00:45:34,482 --> 00:45:38,110
Shabooya-yah-yah
shabooya, roll call!
1008
00:45:38,194 --> 00:45:39,362
My name is Mick
1009
00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:41,530
- nan and Jamie: Yeah!
- I've drank a lot
1010
00:45:41,614 --> 00:45:43,342
- nan and Jamie: What?
- I'm feeling sick now
1011
00:45:43,366 --> 00:45:44,784
- nan: Yes!
- That's all I've got
1012
00:45:44,867 --> 00:45:45,868
roll call!
1013
00:45:45,952 --> 00:45:46,953
That is how you do it!
1014
00:45:47,036 --> 00:45:49,163
Shabooya-yah-yah
shabooya, roll call!
1015
00:45:49,247 --> 00:45:50,873
See? Excellent work!
1016
00:45:50,957 --> 00:45:52,083
Shabooya-yah-yah
1017
00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:53,876
shabooya, roll call!
1018
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:56,170
(All laughing)
1019
00:45:56,587 --> 00:45:57,713
What's all this back here?
1020
00:45:57,922 --> 00:45:58,923
It's craft therapy.
1021
00:45:59,006 --> 00:46:00,508
Here, Mick, Mick, Mick,
1022
00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:03,719
make yourself a mood cube.
You'll enjoy that!
1023
00:46:03,803 --> 00:46:06,097
- Yeah, I'll give it a go.
- (Mick & nan laugh)
1024
00:46:06,180 --> 00:46:07,223
Pork shots?
1025
00:46:09,809 --> 00:46:12,353
(Mick & nan laugh)
1026
00:46:12,436 --> 00:46:13,437
Whoops! (Laughing)
1027
00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:15,439
Butter fingers!
1028
00:46:15,523 --> 00:46:17,525
Don't worry, love,
there's plenty more
1029
00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:19,527
where they came from. (Laughs)
1030
00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:20,778
Wait, what time is it?
1031
00:46:20,903 --> 00:46:21,904
It's 2.30.
1032
00:46:21,988 --> 00:46:22,989
Oh, we're early.
1033
00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:24,115
Early for what?
1034
00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:25,878
Turn right up ahead
and then the next left.
1035
00:46:25,908 --> 00:46:26,909
Why?
1036
00:46:27,243 --> 00:46:29,495
My god! No offence,
1037
00:46:29,578 --> 00:46:31,789
but there's a distinct smell
of urine in here.
1038
00:46:31,998 --> 00:46:36,085
No offence taken, darling,
not with that voice.
1039
00:46:36,210 --> 00:46:37,271
(Soft music playing over radio)
1040
00:46:37,295 --> 00:46:39,213
Here, I've gotta say, son,
1041
00:46:39,297 --> 00:46:41,924
you were right.
It's magical up here.
1042
00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:43,592
Look at this!
1043
00:46:43,926 --> 00:46:44,927
Jamie: So?
1044
00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:47,054
Nan: Oh, leave off
with the reminiscing.
1045
00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:48,139
I'm enjoying the view.
1046
00:46:48,222 --> 00:46:49,557
Why don't you go and help Mick,
1047
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:50,975
Mick, Mick with his mood cube?
1048
00:46:51,058 --> 00:46:52,327
Jamie: Oh, come on,
nan, tell me.
1049
00:46:52,351 --> 00:46:54,520
You must have been upset
about Nell and Walter.
1050
00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:57,606
Nan: (Clicks tongue)
Well, course I was.
1051
00:46:57,690 --> 00:47:01,902
But I had no choice, did I?
I had to get on with me life
1052
00:47:01,986 --> 00:47:03,321
and forget all about him.
1053
00:47:06,949 --> 00:47:09,410
Problem was
I'd see him everywhere.
1054
00:47:09,493 --> 00:47:12,163
And my heart would skip a beat.
1055
00:47:14,290 --> 00:47:17,460
And, lswear,
the way he'd look at me.
1056
00:47:20,755 --> 00:47:21,756
Young Nell: Come on.
1057
00:47:24,592 --> 00:47:25,885
Nan: And then, one day...
1058
00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:28,888
(Sighs)
1059
00:47:28,971 --> 00:47:30,365
Not now, Terry,
I'm not in the mood.
1060
00:47:30,389 --> 00:47:32,183
Yourfella told me
to give you this.
1061
00:47:32,266 --> 00:47:34,310
I thought you'd be sad
if you didn't get it.
1062
00:47:35,144 --> 00:47:36,145
Thanks.
1063
00:47:37,313 --> 00:47:39,565
I hope you get what makes
you happy, joanie.
1064
00:47:45,821 --> 00:47:46,906
Walter: Dearest joanie,
1065
00:47:46,989 --> 00:47:49,408
I've been deployed
and leave for France tonight.
1066
00:47:49,492 --> 00:47:51,243
I need to see you before I go.
1067
00:47:51,327 --> 00:47:52,846
Please come and meet me
at the station.
1068
00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:55,790
I beg you.
Don't tell Nell. Walter.
1069
00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:59,085
Here, what you got there?
1070
00:47:59,251 --> 00:48:01,212
Just another bleedin'
love letter from tel.
1071
00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:05,216
Oh. Poor fella.
He doesn't give up, does he?
1072
00:48:10,096 --> 00:48:12,807
Nan: At work, I could barely
contain me excitement.
1073
00:48:12,973 --> 00:48:14,517
(Big band music playing)
1074
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,143
Ooh, is that a new hat, fee?
1075
00:48:16,227 --> 00:48:17,787
Here, lil, ain't it
your birthday today?
1076
00:48:17,812 --> 00:48:19,271
- Lil: Yeah.
- Good luck to ya.
1077
00:48:19,355 --> 00:48:21,107
(Laughing and chattering)
1078
00:48:30,866 --> 00:48:33,661
Ooh, look at you! All dolled up.
1079
00:48:35,079 --> 00:48:37,498
You've been grinning
like a loon all day.
1080
00:48:37,581 --> 00:48:39,291
- (Laughs)
- What's the matter with you?
1081
00:48:39,458 --> 00:48:45,172
Nothing. I'm just feeling...
I don't know, hopeful.
1082
00:48:45,256 --> 00:48:47,550
Oh, here, have you got a minute?
1083
00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:52,346
I've got some wonderful news.
Been waiting to tell ya.
1084
00:48:52,430 --> 00:48:53,431
(Gasps)
1085
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:55,808
What is it?
1086
00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:57,184
You'll never believe it.
1087
00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,937
I'm expecting.
1088
00:49:01,397 --> 00:49:03,149
You what?
1089
00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:06,402
How about that?
You're gonna be an auntie.
1090
00:49:08,696 --> 00:49:10,197
You're having a baby?
1091
00:49:10,281 --> 00:49:12,491
Yeah. Smashing, innit?
1092
00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:16,120
And you'll have to look
after me while he's away.
1093
00:49:17,204 --> 00:49:18,873
You will look after me,
won't you, joanie?
1094
00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:21,584
Does he know?
1095
00:49:24,253 --> 00:49:25,796
Well, hadn't you
better tell him?
1096
00:49:25,921 --> 00:49:27,882
Well, he's going to war, joanie.
1097
00:49:28,716 --> 00:49:30,301
I don't want to burden him
with it.
1098
00:49:30,384 --> 00:49:31,927
Walter needs a clear head,
1099
00:49:32,011 --> 00:49:34,430
not worried about me
and a baby. And then,
1100
00:49:34,513 --> 00:49:36,032
when he gets back,
it'll be a lovely surprise
1101
00:49:36,056 --> 00:49:38,434
and then we can get married.
1102
00:49:38,517 --> 00:49:43,355
Oh. Ain't life wonderful?
1103
00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:46,609
Yeah.
1104
00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:48,152
(Chuckles)
1105
00:49:51,113 --> 00:49:52,448
(Sighs)
1106
00:49:52,531 --> 00:49:55,159
(Melancholy music playing)
1107
00:50:06,295 --> 00:50:08,714
- (Whistle blows)
- (Indistinct chatter)
1108
00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:19,850
Walter: You came.
1109
00:50:22,269 --> 00:50:24,480
Nell wants to get married.
To me.
1110
00:50:24,563 --> 00:50:25,606
I gathered.
1111
00:50:25,689 --> 00:50:27,942
I'm very fond of her,
you know that.
1112
00:50:28,067 --> 00:50:29,693
Er, looks like it.
1113
00:50:29,777 --> 00:50:31,529
I got carried away thinking
1114
00:50:31,612 --> 00:50:32,923
I could have fun
with both of you.
1115
00:50:32,947 --> 00:50:34,073
This damn war made me feel
1116
00:50:34,156 --> 00:50:36,242
like I could act like
there was no tomorrow.
1117
00:50:36,325 --> 00:50:37,576
Look, it's all right.
1118
00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:38,661
And it wasn't fair.
1119
00:50:38,869 --> 00:50:40,329
And I'm sorry it! Hurt you.
1120
00:50:40,412 --> 00:50:41,830
Please, don't.
1121
00:50:41,914 --> 00:50:43,040
But the truth is,
1122
00:50:43,791 --> 00:50:44,833
if there is a tomorrow,
1123
00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:48,837
it's you I'd want to
spend it with, not her.
1124
00:50:50,047 --> 00:50:52,758
Oh. Walter.
1125
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:57,322
Well, I don't know where
you got that idea from,
1126
00:50:57,346 --> 00:50:58,764
because the feeling's
not mutual.
1127
00:50:58,931 --> 00:51:00,266
You don't mean that.
1128
00:51:00,349 --> 00:51:03,811
Oh, don't I? I...
I only let you pal around
1129
00:51:03,894 --> 00:51:06,522
with me and Nell because
I knew she was sweet on ya.
1130
00:51:06,605 --> 00:51:09,024
I mean, what would I want with
a big iongshanks like you?
1131
00:51:09,316 --> 00:51:10,985
Joanie, I'm being serious.
1132
00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:13,153
So am I. Now get on that train.
1133
00:51:14,488 --> 00:51:15,489
This can't be true.
1134
00:51:15,781 --> 00:51:18,409
Well, it is, Walter.
And the sooner you get it
1135
00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:20,661
into that fat yank head
of yours, the better.
1136
00:51:21,787 --> 00:51:23,014
Now get on that train
and go and do
1137
00:51:23,038 --> 00:51:24,318
something useful with your life.
1138
00:51:25,791 --> 00:51:27,209
(Softly) Please.
1139
00:51:27,543 --> 00:51:29,545
Joanie, you're killing me.
1140
00:51:31,088 --> 00:51:33,088
This could be the last time
we ever see each other.
1141
00:51:33,340 --> 00:51:37,011
Oh, well. Ta, ta.
1142
00:51:40,180 --> 00:51:42,725
(Sad music playing)
1143
00:51:42,850 --> 00:51:45,269
(Indistinct chatter)
1144
00:51:59,033 --> 00:52:02,494
Joanie, I swear I will
make a good life for you.
1145
00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:05,289
I will do everything I can
to make you happy.
1146
00:52:05,372 --> 00:52:07,875
I will be your rock.
I will be your heart.
1147
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:10,836
Please, joanie.
Will you marry me?
1148
00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:12,129
Yes.
1149
00:52:12,421 --> 00:52:13,982
No, I'm sorry, isaid,
"will you marry me?"
1150
00:52:14,006 --> 00:52:16,133
I know, and I said yes.
1151
00:52:16,759 --> 00:52:20,179
(Triumphant music playing)
1152
00:52:21,847 --> 00:52:22,848
Jamie: Wow.
1153
00:52:22,931 --> 00:52:24,308
How'd he react?
1154
00:52:24,391 --> 00:52:25,643
He shit himself.
1155
00:52:25,726 --> 00:52:28,354
I don't think either of us
were expecting it.
1156
00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:30,898
We did a quick registry office
1157
00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:32,650
and moved in together.
1158
00:52:32,733 --> 00:52:34,360
It was quite the weekend.
1159
00:52:34,443 --> 00:52:37,071
Mick: Finished.
Jamie: Wow, that's amazing.
1160
00:52:37,613 --> 00:52:39,615
What's all this then,
Mick, Mick, Mick?
1161
00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:41,408
Represents the struggle
for dominance
1162
00:52:41,492 --> 00:52:43,243
between man and beast.
1163
00:52:43,327 --> 00:52:44,995
The machine that tries
to belittle him,
1164
00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:47,998
and how the only way to beat
the cruel system of capitalism
1165
00:52:48,082 --> 00:52:49,708
is to blow it up
from the inside.
1166
00:52:51,835 --> 00:52:53,087
And I thought it was a gonk.
1167
00:52:54,046 --> 00:52:55,089
Jamie: Feeling better?
1168
00:52:55,756 --> 00:52:58,300
I won't lie, I do.
1169
00:52:58,842 --> 00:53:01,637
See? The healing
power of crafts.
1170
00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:03,722
- (Mobile chimes)
- Erm, froggo again.
1171
00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:04,908
Woman: (Over radio)
It's the 4am news,
1172
00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:07,351
and gardal' are still
on the hunt for an arson/st
1173
00:53:07,434 --> 00:53:09,978
who planted explosives
in a factory fire in kildare.
1174
00:53:10,062 --> 00:53:12,398
(Cackling)
1175
00:53:12,481 --> 00:53:13,482
The last suspected attack
1176
00:53:13,565 --> 00:53:15,567
believed to be as recent
as Tuesday.
1177
00:53:15,651 --> 00:53:17,003
- (Mumbles indistinctly)
- Garda believe the arson/st
1178
00:53:17,027 --> 00:53:19,071
to be a militant
animal rights activist
1179
00:53:19,154 --> 00:53:20,906
who is considered
extremely dangerous
1180
00:53:20,989 --> 00:53:22,700
and to be avoided at all costs.
1181
00:53:22,783 --> 00:53:24,743
It's all happening
in Ireland, innit?
1182
00:53:24,827 --> 00:53:27,955
Describe him as a man with
dark hair, deep-set eyes,
1183
00:53:28,038 --> 00:53:31,166
and a tattoo on his arm
with the letters m—m—m.
1184
00:53:33,836 --> 00:53:34,837
And now for the weather.
1185
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:36,630
I'm afraid
there's more doom and gloom.
1186
00:53:36,714 --> 00:53:38,048
Mick, Mick, Mick.
1187
00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:39,717
"Meat means murder."
1188
00:53:40,134 --> 00:53:42,678
Oh? Right.
1189
00:53:43,721 --> 00:53:45,347
Yeah, that makes more sense.
1190
00:53:45,431 --> 00:53:46,991
(Radio broadcast
continues indistinctly)
1191
00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:50,936
Well, we better make a move.
1192
00:53:51,186 --> 00:53:53,021
Yeah, busy schedule.
1193
00:53:53,105 --> 00:53:55,107
Yeah, I've got to go see
my sister. She's dying.
1194
00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:56,275
- Get in the Van.
- What?
1195
00:53:56,442 --> 00:54:00,821
Get in the Van.
1196
00:54:00,946 --> 00:54:04,032
- (Sinister music playing)
- I've gotta say, even now,
1197
00:54:04,116 --> 00:54:07,244
it's hard not to feel charmed.
(Sniffs)
1198
00:54:07,953 --> 00:54:11,623
Mick: Let's all take a nice
drive to the countryside.
1199
00:54:11,707 --> 00:54:13,000
What are you gonna do?
1200
00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:15,878
"We." what are "we" gonna do?
1201
00:54:15,961 --> 00:54:17,921
We're gonna blow up a farm.
1202
00:54:18,839 --> 00:54:21,425
A farm? With what?
1203
00:54:21,508 --> 00:54:23,010
With this.
1204
00:54:23,886 --> 00:54:26,263
Oh-ho, no, we're not, son.
As we know,
1205
00:54:26,346 --> 00:54:29,308
I'm not immune to
your dulcet tones,
1206
00:54:29,391 --> 00:54:31,435
but I've gotta draw
the line somewhere.
1207
00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:34,396
Mick: You know,
there's a good way to live,
1208
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:35,773
and there's a bad way.
1209
00:54:37,483 --> 00:54:40,778
And the bad way is walking
away from what's right.
1210
00:54:41,195 --> 00:54:43,155
And what's a good way?
1211
00:54:44,531 --> 00:54:46,700
It doesn't matter.
Now you don't have a choice.
1212
00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:48,911
- Ah, done it again.
- What are you doin'?
1213
00:54:49,411 --> 00:54:51,538
I'm not a monster,
I'm on a mission.
1214
00:54:51,622 --> 00:54:53,373
You don't know
what they do to them.
1215
00:54:53,457 --> 00:54:54,875
- To whom?
- To the animals.
1216
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:58,086
- Don't.
- (Groaning)
1217
00:54:58,170 --> 00:55:00,756
Now that's a waste.
They're already dead.
1218
00:55:00,839 --> 00:55:02,382
The way they treat them.
1219
00:55:02,466 --> 00:55:05,219
Bred from birth to die
in horrific circumstances.
1220
00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:07,095
- It's just not right!
- (Jamie groans)
1221
00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:09,097
All right, son. Keep it light.
1222
00:55:09,848 --> 00:55:11,326
All I did was let
the animals go free,
1223
00:55:11,350 --> 00:55:13,727
and then burn down the
buildings. Is that a crime?
1224
00:55:14,019 --> 00:55:16,164
Nan: Well, yeah, course it is.
Jamie: Definitely a crime.
1225
00:55:16,188 --> 00:55:17,948
- What do you want with my nan?
- Collateral.
1226
00:55:18,565 --> 00:55:19,605
She comes with me and then
1227
00:55:19,650 --> 00:55:21,010
when we're done,
you drive us away.
1228
00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:23,195
Are you touched?
1229
00:55:23,779 --> 00:55:25,989
I'm not blowing up
a fucking farm.
1230
00:55:26,281 --> 00:55:27,950
I'm a pensioner.
1231
00:55:28,033 --> 00:55:30,786
I'm not spending me
last few years in a cell
1232
00:55:30,869 --> 00:55:33,455
fighting off a woman
called Beth.
1233
00:55:33,539 --> 00:55:35,290
That's an offensive stereotype.
1234
00:55:35,374 --> 00:55:38,669
Oh, wake up
and smell the lesbian.
1235
00:55:39,086 --> 00:55:40,921
Orange might be the new black.
1236
00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:42,538
But they still wanna have a go
1237
00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:44,132
up your clacker
when the lights go out.
1238
00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:46,927
(Dramatic music playing)
1239
00:55:52,307 --> 00:55:53,809
(Engine stops)
1240
00:55:55,060 --> 00:55:56,854
Security takes ten minutes
to change shift.
1241
00:55:56,937 --> 00:55:58,105
That's gonna be our window.
1242
00:55:58,438 --> 00:56:00,691
So let's get in position
before the guard comes out.
1243
00:56:00,774 --> 00:56:03,193
Come on.
When you get the signal,
1244
00:56:03,277 --> 00:56:04,695
you step on it
and come and get us
1245
00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:05,839
and then we get the hell
out of here, all right?
1246
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:07,239
What's the signal?
1247
00:56:07,322 --> 00:56:09,133
A bloody great big explosion.
That be enough for ya?
1248
00:56:09,157 --> 00:56:10,951
- Yeah.
- Okay, let's go. Come on.
1249
00:56:11,034 --> 00:56:12,411
You've got it all caught.
1250
00:56:12,494 --> 00:56:14,788
Get the seatbelt off
first, please.
1251
00:56:14,872 --> 00:56:16,290
Oh, that's all I need!
1252
00:56:16,373 --> 00:56:19,418
- (Nan arguing indistinctly)
- (Suspenseful music playing)
1253
00:56:28,468 --> 00:56:29,678
Nan: Oh.
1254
00:56:33,557 --> 00:56:35,809
(Nan speaking indistinctly)
1255
00:56:35,893 --> 00:56:39,104
I mean, this is all I need,
I can tell you that much.
1256
00:56:39,187 --> 00:56:40,188
I shouldn't be here.
1257
00:56:40,272 --> 00:56:41,912
I'm supposed to be
cashing in me wowchers.
1258
00:56:41,940 --> 00:56:44,776
All I wanted was
to get a Paul Hollywood
1259
00:56:44,860 --> 00:56:46,153
and see coventry.
1260
00:56:46,236 --> 00:56:48,196
Nah. But instead, I'm handcuffed
1261
00:56:48,322 --> 00:56:50,699
to Daniel o-fucking-donnell.
1262
00:56:50,782 --> 00:56:52,492
- Oh, no.
- What?
1263
00:56:52,576 --> 00:56:54,202
- Oh, I need the lav.
- You're joking me.
1264
00:56:54,286 --> 00:56:55,996
No, no.
1265
00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:57,414
Oh, we'll have to go over there.
1266
00:56:57,497 --> 00:56:59,583
Ooh, quick. Oh, quick.
1267
00:57:00,375 --> 00:57:01,835
Quick.
1268
00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:03,462
Let me behind this bush.
1269
00:57:03,670 --> 00:57:05,547
Oh, come on,
it's fallin' out of me.
1270
00:57:05,631 --> 00:57:07,591
Mick: Ugh!
Nan: Let's get this done.
1271
00:57:07,674 --> 00:57:09,051
-(Knocking on window) (Screams)
1272
00:57:13,597 --> 00:57:14,598
Hello, mate.
1273
00:57:14,681 --> 00:57:15,682
Are you lost?
1274
00:57:16,516 --> 00:57:18,101
Yeah, I am, actually.
1275
00:57:18,185 --> 00:57:19,394
What are you lookin' for?
1276
00:57:19,978 --> 00:57:21,418
You're pretty far away
from anywhere.
1277
00:57:22,105 --> 00:57:23,941
I'm looking...
1278
00:57:24,900 --> 00:57:27,069
Looking, looking...
1279
00:57:27,819 --> 00:57:30,447
Looking to get into
the security game.
1280
00:57:30,530 --> 00:57:32,240
- You?
- Yep.
1281
00:57:32,699 --> 00:57:33,867
Yeah, right.
1282
00:57:35,243 --> 00:57:36,244
Man: Open the door.
1283
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:39,665
Your mini bus says...
1284
00:57:39,748 --> 00:57:40,958
(Nan farting) Ooh!
1285
00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:42,042
Find me a dock leaf, son.
1286
00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:43,603
It's running down
the back of me legs.
1287
00:57:43,627 --> 00:57:44,628
Mick: Mind my shoes!
1288
00:57:44,795 --> 00:57:47,172
Yeah, it's a long story.
1289
00:57:47,881 --> 00:57:49,299
Is it?
1290
00:57:49,383 --> 00:57:50,550
(Suspenseful music playing)
1291
00:57:55,305 --> 00:57:56,366
Nan: I don't know what they put
1292
00:57:56,390 --> 00:57:57,391
in them fridge rustlers.
1293
00:57:57,474 --> 00:58:00,435
But it definitely don't go
with 12 pints of guinness!
1294
00:58:00,519 --> 00:58:02,688
- (Groans and farts)
- Mick: (Groans) Fuck me!
1295
00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:07,651
We've got, erm, buttons,
shells, feathers,
1296
00:58:07,734 --> 00:58:09,945
googly eyes, crayons.
1297
00:58:10,028 --> 00:58:12,364
My wife finds colouring in
very soothing.
1298
00:58:13,115 --> 00:58:15,200
- Oh, does she?
- Yeah.
1299
00:58:16,868 --> 00:58:18,662
I'm not great with crayons,
1300
00:58:18,745 --> 00:58:19,997
but I've tried a bit of origami
1301
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,280
and I was surprisingly nimble.
1302
00:58:21,957 --> 00:58:22,958
That's nice.
1303
00:58:27,170 --> 00:58:29,840
Come on then, Mick, Mick, Mick.
1304
00:58:30,090 --> 00:58:33,427
Let's do this,
you mad vegan fucker.
1305
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:36,263
(Upbeat music playing)
1306
00:58:37,889 --> 00:58:39,766
Actually, I've put a lot
of posts on pinterest.
1307
00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:40,851
Oh, right.
1308
00:58:40,934 --> 00:58:43,311
(Upbeat music continues)
1309
00:58:44,855 --> 00:58:46,815
It was decoupage that changed
the paradigm for me.
1310
00:58:47,649 --> 00:58:49,568
- Really?
- Oh, absolute game-changer.
1311
00:58:49,651 --> 00:58:51,737
You have to have
the precision of a sniper
1312
00:58:51,820 --> 00:58:54,489
and the gossamer-like touch
of a butterfly's wing.
1313
00:58:55,282 --> 00:58:57,242
Look, you seem
like a really nice man
1314
00:58:57,325 --> 00:58:59,220
and I love that you get
so much out of papier-maché,
1315
00:58:59,244 --> 00:59:00,847
but I'm in a really
complicated situation.
1316
00:59:00,871 --> 00:59:03,832
Decoupage is not papier-maché.
It's more glaze based.
1317
00:59:03,957 --> 00:59:05,792
My mistake.
When I said papier-maché...
1318
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,085
- (Hens clucking)
- Hang on.
1319
00:59:07,169 --> 00:59:08,920
Nan: Oh, cluck. Cluck me.
1320
00:59:09,004 --> 00:59:11,048
- (Upbeat music continues)
- Huh?
1321
00:59:17,471 --> 00:59:19,097
I'm coming!
1322
00:59:26,271 --> 00:59:27,272
Come on!
1323
00:59:28,482 --> 00:59:31,943
(Triumphant music playing)
1324
00:59:37,157 --> 00:59:38,700
Nan: I suppose
we gotta make a move...
1325
00:59:38,784 --> 00:59:40,285
(Mutters indistinctly)
1326
00:59:41,787 --> 00:59:42,996
Jamie: Come on.
1327
00:59:43,121 --> 00:59:44,122
(Engine starts)
1328
00:59:44,206 --> 00:59:45,999
Jamie: Quickly,
hurry up, get in!
1329
00:59:47,626 --> 00:59:49,628
That was amazing! Ha-ha!
1330
00:59:55,133 --> 00:59:58,553
You're a good man, Jamie.
We saved all them chickens!
1331
00:59:58,637 --> 01:00:01,765
(All scream and gasp)
1332
01:00:01,848 --> 01:00:02,849
Nearly all of 'em.
1333
01:00:03,391 --> 01:00:05,560
- What do we do now?
- Drive, drive!
1334
01:00:05,644 --> 01:00:08,230
- (Nan screaming)
- Go, go, go, go!
1335
01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:13,151
(Both laughing)
1336
01:00:14,402 --> 01:00:15,487
Mick: Yeah!
1337
01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:18,240
Nan: Now this is what
I call a proper day out!
1338
01:00:18,323 --> 01:00:19,324
(All screaming)
1339
01:00:19,866 --> 01:00:21,535
(Mick and nan whooping)
1340
01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:24,287
Nan: Oh!
1341
01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:26,540
(Police siren wailing)
1342
01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:29,835
-Ahh. No. _th
1343
01:00:38,301 --> 01:00:39,302
I think I lost 'em.
1344
01:00:41,388 --> 01:00:42,388
Come on, then, Mick. Aah!
1345
01:00:44,057 --> 01:00:45,559
- Oh, no.
- Wooo.
1346
01:00:46,184 --> 01:00:49,729
(Sirens wailing)
1347
01:00:54,526 --> 01:00:55,819
Jamie: This is insane.
1348
01:00:55,902 --> 01:00:57,462
(Helicopter blades
whirring in distance)
1349
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:01,241
What do we do now?
1350
01:01:01,741 --> 01:01:04,953
I am buzzing.
1351
01:01:06,329 --> 01:01:07,831
I gotta say,
1352
01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:09,892
I could see how you could get
a taste for all this,
1353
01:01:09,916 --> 01:01:12,085
Mick, Mick, Mick. Whoo!
1354
01:01:12,169 --> 01:01:15,672
I've never felt so alive.
I'm buzzing.
1355
01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:17,441
Is this what they mean
when they say it, eh?
1356
01:01:17,465 --> 01:01:19,676
Because I am buzzing.
1357
01:01:19,759 --> 01:01:21,928
I do feel like I'm buzzing.
1358
01:01:22,012 --> 01:01:24,890
It makes me wonder what
I've been doing all my life.
1359
01:01:24,973 --> 01:01:26,558
Well, we didn't just
do it for the buzz.
1360
01:01:26,641 --> 01:01:28,185
There was a point
to what we did.
1361
01:01:28,268 --> 01:01:29,269
Oh, I see.
1362
01:01:29,352 --> 01:01:30,937
Can you uncuff my nan, please?
1363
01:01:31,021 --> 01:01:33,440
I can't. I chucked the key
out the window, remember?
1364
01:01:33,523 --> 01:01:34,876
- You got a saw back here?
- (Nan sighs)
1365
01:01:34,900 --> 01:01:37,611
It's a craft mobile for people
with emotional difficulties.
1366
01:01:37,694 --> 01:01:39,029
I don't carry sharp objects.
1367
01:01:39,112 --> 01:01:41,364
Well, I guess we're stuck
together then, aren't we?
1368
01:01:41,448 --> 01:01:42,449
(Nan cackles)
1369
01:01:42,532 --> 01:01:43,593
We need to get out
of the country
1370
01:01:43,617 --> 01:01:44,677
and then we'll work it out.
1371
01:01:44,701 --> 01:01:45,785
Get out of the country?
1372
01:01:45,869 --> 01:01:48,538
We're wanted criminals.
There'll be police everywhere.
1373
01:01:48,622 --> 01:01:50,749
And they'll be watching
the airports, the sea ports.
1374
01:01:50,874 --> 01:01:52,476
- (Nan mumbles)
- It's only a matter of time.
1375
01:01:52,500 --> 01:01:53,895
I think we should
hand ourselves in.
1376
01:01:53,919 --> 01:01:56,421
Oh, calm down,
you big old Mary Ann.
1377
01:01:56,504 --> 01:01:58,465
You're harshing my vibe.
1378
01:01:59,424 --> 01:02:01,843
We're going to the island
off of Ireland,
1379
01:02:01,927 --> 01:02:03,553
hiding Mick from the police.
1380
01:02:03,637 --> 01:02:05,263
- (Mobile phone chimes)
- Oh.
1381
01:02:06,765 --> 01:02:07,766
Oh, god.
1382
01:02:08,516 --> 01:02:09,601
(Cackles)
1383
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:11,937
Oh, I've got an idea.
1384
01:02:12,020 --> 01:02:13,647
(Keys clacking)
1385
01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:17,817
- Still buzzing, you know.
- (Men screaming)
1386
01:02:22,030 --> 01:02:23,657
(Laughs)
1387
01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:24,866
All done.
1388
01:02:24,950 --> 01:02:27,452
Oh, thanks for helping out,
aussies.
1389
01:02:27,535 --> 01:02:28,578
Ah, you're welcome, nan.
1390
01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:31,206
We wanted to see the island
off of Ireland, anyway.
1391
01:02:31,289 --> 01:02:33,833
- Aussies on tour.
- Are we all ready?
1392
01:02:33,917 --> 01:02:34,960
(All cheering)
1393
01:02:35,043 --> 01:02:36,419
Jamie: Come on,
we gotta be quick.
1394
01:02:36,503 --> 01:02:39,798
Come on then!
Let's go the island
1395
01:02:39,881 --> 01:02:41,591
that is off of Ireland
1396
01:02:41,675 --> 01:02:43,677
la-la-la-la hey
1397
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,845
la-la-la-la hey
1398
01:02:45,929 --> 01:02:47,889
let's go to the island
1399
01:02:47,973 --> 01:02:49,683
that is off of Ireland
1400
01:02:51,434 --> 01:02:52,477
(upbeat music playing)
1401
01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:57,440
All: Shabooya-yah-yah
shabooya, roll call!
1402
01:02:57,524 --> 01:02:59,317
-My name is arsemunch
-all: Yeah!
1403
01:02:59,401 --> 01:03:01,069
-And I drink beer -all: Yeah!
1404
01:03:01,152 --> 01:03:02,696
-While playing rugby -all: Yeah!
1405
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:03,780
I hope we win
1406
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:06,241
ruined it.
1407
01:03:07,117 --> 01:03:08,576
Roll call
1408
01:03:08,660 --> 01:03:12,122
shabooya-yah-yah
shabooya, roll call!
1409
01:03:12,289 --> 01:03:15,834
Shabooya-yah-yah
shabooya, roll call!
1410
01:03:17,252 --> 01:03:18,962
Mick: Oh, shit.
1411
01:03:19,045 --> 01:03:20,106
Jamie: Get your head down, Mick.
1412
01:03:20,130 --> 01:03:21,798
- Nan.
- Nan: There we go.
1413
01:03:23,133 --> 01:03:24,384
(Siren wails)
1414
01:03:25,719 --> 01:03:27,012
Man 1: Jamie, you can do this.
1415
01:03:27,095 --> 01:03:28,513
You're an Australian
rugby player
1416
01:03:28,596 --> 01:03:30,432
from Australia in Ireland.
1417
01:03:30,515 --> 01:03:32,434
Man 2: Keep your voice down.
1418
01:03:38,857 --> 01:03:40,483
G'day, officer.
1419
01:03:40,567 --> 01:03:41,651
Officer: Morning, lads.
1420
01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:43,361
All: G'day, officer.
1421
01:03:43,445 --> 01:03:45,280
G'day, officer.
1422
01:03:45,363 --> 01:03:46,403
Where are you boys off to?
1423
01:03:46,781 --> 01:03:47,949
Big game.
1424
01:03:48,033 --> 01:03:49,409
Man: Yeah. Woman: Who's in here?
1425
01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:50,535
The rugby team?
1426
01:03:50,618 --> 01:03:52,746
Man: Oh, yeah, just us boys.
1427
01:03:53,580 --> 01:03:54,956
Mahler: Oh, really?
1428
01:03:55,248 --> 01:03:57,375
Justus boys, is it?
1429
01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:04,549
(Bad Australian accent) Yeah!
1430
01:04:05,383 --> 01:04:07,344
Just us boys!
1431
01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:11,973
Here enjoying
a couple of tinnies.
1432
01:04:12,057 --> 01:04:16,978
And saving babies
from dingoes, Sarah.
1433
01:04:18,396 --> 01:04:20,190
- Man: What's she saying?
- _iishell?
1434
01:04:20,273 --> 01:04:21,941
It's how we identify.
1435
01:04:22,025 --> 01:04:23,026
Oh, yeah.
1436
01:04:23,109 --> 01:04:24,309
I need a number plate checked.
1437
01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:25,695
- Nan: We're fluid.
- Ar 02.
1438
01:04:25,779 --> 01:04:27,197
Non-binary.
1439
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:29,032
Eco-friendly.
1440
01:04:29,866 --> 01:04:30,867
Queer.
1441
01:04:31,534 --> 01:04:32,577
(Sniffs)
1442
01:04:32,660 --> 01:04:35,789
There is a distinct smell
of urine in this mini bus.
1443
01:04:36,164 --> 01:04:37,582
That was nutsack.
1444
01:04:37,665 --> 01:04:39,000
Take that wig off.
1445
01:04:39,084 --> 01:04:41,169
It's stuck to my head.
1446
01:04:41,252 --> 01:04:44,672
Take that wig off!
1447
01:04:44,756 --> 01:04:49,677
I can't hear you!
1448
01:04:50,261 --> 01:04:51,262
We're fucked.
1449
01:04:51,346 --> 01:04:52,448
You're not. It's me they want.
1450
01:04:52,472 --> 01:04:53,723
I knew it was you.
1451
01:04:53,807 --> 01:04:57,018
Oh, well done, scouse Sherlock.
1452
01:04:57,811 --> 01:04:59,455
Man: (On radio) That number
plate matches the bee Van.
1453
01:04:59,479 --> 01:05:00,480
That's him. He's in here!
1454
01:05:00,563 --> 01:05:01,856
Oh, god. We're trapped.
1455
01:05:01,940 --> 01:05:03,608
Officer: All units,
suspect in the Van,
1456
01:05:03,691 --> 01:05:04,818
in the blue-purple Van.
1457
01:05:05,485 --> 01:05:06,528
They only want me.
1458
01:05:06,611 --> 01:05:08,571
Well, you might be
Ireland's most wanted,
1459
01:05:08,655 --> 01:05:10,240
but I've got a bit
of form meself.
1460
01:05:10,323 --> 01:05:13,451
No regrets. Promise me
you'll see your sister.
1461
01:05:13,535 --> 01:05:14,994
What are you talking about?
1462
01:05:16,538 --> 01:05:18,099
Thought you threw that
out of the window.
1463
01:05:18,123 --> 01:05:22,377
Tullamore child magician
of the year, 1994.
1464
01:05:24,003 --> 01:05:25,296
I don't need 'em no more.
1465
01:05:25,380 --> 01:05:27,882
Go and see Nell. I mean it.
1466
01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:31,094
Man: Open the boot,
open the boot.
1467
01:05:31,803 --> 01:05:33,388
Close the boot, close the boot.
1468
01:05:33,596 --> 01:05:34,597
(All clamouring)
1469
01:05:39,519 --> 01:05:41,396
What a smashing fella.
1470
01:05:41,479 --> 01:05:45,108
Violent, angry, dangerous.
1471
01:05:45,191 --> 01:05:47,402
Everything you'd want
in a vegan.
1472
01:05:47,485 --> 01:05:48,611
(Cackles)
1473
01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:50,363
(All screaming)
1474
01:06:01,708 --> 01:06:02,959
(Engine revving)
1475
01:06:03,042 --> 01:06:06,212
(All whooping and cheering)
1476
01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:07,714
Nan: I could vomit,
1477
01:06:07,797 --> 01:06:10,008
I could vomit, I could vomit.
1478
01:06:10,091 --> 01:06:12,886
But in a good way,
in a good way I could vomit.
1479
01:06:12,969 --> 01:06:14,262
(Cackling)
1480
01:06:14,345 --> 01:06:15,472
Whoo!
1481
01:06:16,848 --> 01:06:18,683
All: Let's go to the island
1482
01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:20,560
that is off of Ireland
1483
01:06:20,643 --> 01:06:22,353
la-la-la-la hey
1484
01:06:22,437 --> 01:06:24,689
la-la-la-la hey
1485
01:06:24,772 --> 01:06:26,357
let's go to the island
1486
01:06:26,441 --> 01:06:28,318
that is off of Ireland
1487
01:06:28,401 --> 01:06:30,403
la-la-la-la hey
1488
01:06:30,487 --> 01:06:31,905
la-la-la-la hey
1489
01:06:33,531 --> 01:06:35,408
nan, nan, look.
1490
01:06:36,367 --> 01:06:38,095
- (Siren wailing)
- Man 1: Gotta make this ferry.
1491
01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:39,370
Man 2: No ferry, no beer.
1492
01:06:39,454 --> 01:06:40,806
Man 1: Before they do
all the fuckin' booze.
1493
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:41,998
This is all your fault.
1494
01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:44,584
We're only here because of you.
1495
01:06:44,667 --> 01:06:47,879
I mean, I'm supposed to be
in a day spa in coventry
1496
01:06:47,962 --> 01:06:49,881
with my legs up, having hot wax
1497
01:06:49,964 --> 01:06:50,965
poured all over me noon.
1498
01:06:51,049 --> 01:06:53,885
Which, as crystal meth Cathy
reliably informed me,
1499
01:06:53,968 --> 01:06:56,429
is the correct definition
of an Hollywood.
1500
01:06:56,513 --> 01:06:58,890
(Punk rock playing)
1501
01:06:58,973 --> 01:07:00,808
(Siren wailing)
1502
01:07:00,892 --> 01:07:02,644
I mean, that fella
off the bake off,
1503
01:07:02,727 --> 01:07:05,230
he ain't gonna be there.
Nothing to do with him.
1504
01:07:05,313 --> 01:07:07,357
He won't be anywhere in sight.
1505
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:08,775
Take all your hair off.
1506
01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:11,027
Mary Berry wouldn't stand
for that.
1507
01:07:11,819 --> 01:07:14,614
- My name is nutsack!
- All: Not now!
1508
01:07:14,697 --> 01:07:15,758
Jamie: She's gaining on us.
1509
01:07:15,782 --> 01:07:18,326
Man: This woman stops me
getting a drink...
1510
01:07:18,409 --> 01:07:20,411
- (Jamie breathing heavily)
- Jamie,
1511
01:07:20,495 --> 01:07:22,288
pull yourself together.
1512
01:07:22,372 --> 01:07:24,874
For god's sake, calm down.
1513
01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:26,876
Jamie: I can't go any faster.
1514
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,837
Hyperventilating clown.
What's the matter with ya?
1515
01:07:29,921 --> 01:07:32,090
Jamie: The law,
she's an officer of the law.
1516
01:07:32,173 --> 01:07:34,342
Nan: She's a fucking
traffic warden.
1517
01:07:34,425 --> 01:07:36,094
Man: Lose her, mate.
She can't stop us.
1518
01:07:36,177 --> 01:07:37,178
Man 2: No ferry, no beer.
1519
01:07:37,262 --> 01:07:38,364
Man 3: Quick,
the ferry's leaving.
1520
01:07:38,388 --> 01:07:39,889
(All screaming)
1521
01:07:42,433 --> 01:07:43,935
It's okay, I'm sorry.
1522
01:07:44,018 --> 01:07:46,646
- We missed it, nan.
- We haven't! You can do it!
1523
01:07:46,729 --> 01:07:48,314
Or are you just chicken shit?
1524
01:07:48,398 --> 01:07:50,066
- What did you call me?
- Chicken shit.
1525
01:07:50,149 --> 01:07:51,401
Nobody calls me chicken shit.
1526
01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:53,778
- Chicken shit! Did it again.
- Chicken shit!
1527
01:07:53,861 --> 01:07:55,697
Froggo just called you
chicken shit!
1528
01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:58,992
Chicken shit! Chicken shit!
1529
01:07:59,075 --> 01:08:02,328
- (All chanting) Chicken shit!
- I am not chicken shit!
1530
01:08:02,412 --> 01:08:06,082
(All screaming)
1531
01:08:06,165 --> 01:08:07,166
(Siren wailing)
1532
01:08:08,293 --> 01:08:10,753
(All screaming)
1533
01:08:11,754 --> 01:08:13,172
Froggo: The copper's missed!
1534
01:08:13,256 --> 01:08:15,758
- I'll get you, old woman!
- (Siren wailing distorts)
1535
01:08:15,842 --> 01:08:17,427
You nailed it, Jamie!
1536
01:08:17,510 --> 01:08:19,262
(Ferry horn blows)
1537
01:08:19,345 --> 01:08:21,139
(Seagulls cawing)
1538
01:08:21,472 --> 01:08:23,182
Well, I gotta hand it to you.
1539
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,143
You got me there in the end.
1540
01:08:26,269 --> 01:08:28,146
Yeah, I did.
1541
01:08:29,814 --> 01:08:30,940
So, go on, then.
1542
01:08:31,691 --> 01:08:34,319
You had a whirlwind wedding
with Terry.
1543
01:08:34,402 --> 01:08:36,779
Yeah, I married tel.
1544
01:08:37,155 --> 01:08:38,823
And Walter went off to war.
1545
01:08:40,575 --> 01:08:43,244
Then Terry spent every night
interfering with me.
1546
01:08:43,369 --> 01:08:45,538
Sometimes twice
if he had an early shift.
1547
01:08:45,622 --> 01:08:47,123
Nan, didn't need
to know all that.
1548
01:08:47,206 --> 01:08:48,625
(Laughs) Well, you did ask.
1549
01:08:51,753 --> 01:08:53,755
And then, four months later,
that was it.
1550
01:08:55,006 --> 01:08:56,299
War was over.
1551
01:08:57,634 --> 01:08:58,843
Ceasefire.
1552
01:08:59,802 --> 01:09:01,012
Peace.
1553
01:09:01,095 --> 01:09:03,765
(Bells ringing)
1554
01:09:03,848 --> 01:09:06,267
(Cheering and
indistinct chatter)
1555
01:09:07,769 --> 01:09:09,771
(Band playing)
1556
01:09:19,072 --> 01:09:20,948
Nan: And after all those years,
1557
01:09:21,074 --> 01:09:23,284
all that chaos and commotion,
1558
01:09:23,785 --> 01:09:25,265
- suddenly...
- (Music stops abruptly)
1559
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:27,538
It all stopped.
1560
01:09:28,581 --> 01:09:31,709
And Walter came back to make
an honest woman of Nell.
1561
01:09:31,793 --> 01:09:34,837
Young Nell: (Chuckles) Oh. Ah.
1562
01:09:34,921 --> 01:09:36,422
Oh, do you think I look nice?
1563
01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:39,926
Here, you're lucky
you're not showin'.
1564
01:09:40,677 --> 01:09:43,137
You are sweet, joanie.
1565
01:09:43,221 --> 01:09:44,847
What are you talking about?
1566
01:09:45,765 --> 01:09:47,600
(Sighs) Come on, Joan.
1567
01:09:48,393 --> 01:09:49,894
I'm not really pregnant.
1568
01:09:51,062 --> 01:09:53,398
- I never was.
- What?
1569
01:09:53,940 --> 01:09:56,067
I thought you'd have
worked that out by now.
1570
01:09:57,318 --> 01:09:58,820
I'm not a tart.
1571
01:10:03,491 --> 01:10:06,327
I saw that note
Walter wrote to you.
1572
01:10:06,411 --> 01:10:09,622
I thought, "I'm not having
that. He's mine." (Chuckles)
1573
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,960
Oh, come on, joanie.
1574
01:10:14,877 --> 01:10:16,212
What did mum always say?
1575
01:10:16,295 --> 01:10:19,132
"All's fair in love and war."
1576
01:10:19,215 --> 01:10:20,758
(Screams and groans)
1577
01:10:20,842 --> 01:10:23,720
What'd you do that for?
What's wrong with you?
1578
01:10:23,803 --> 01:10:25,596
- Get off!
- You say sorry.
1579
01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:26,764
(Rock music playing)
1580
01:10:31,728 --> 01:10:34,439
You pathetic lump of lard.
1581
01:10:34,522 --> 01:10:35,815
It's my wedding day.
1582
01:10:36,774 --> 01:10:38,985
Well, then, go and get married.
1583
01:10:41,696 --> 01:10:43,740
You wouldn't have known
what to do with him anyway.
1584
01:10:47,410 --> 01:10:49,454
You're a piece of work, Nell.
1585
01:10:50,037 --> 01:10:52,790
I gave him up for you!
1586
01:10:58,796 --> 01:11:00,798
- Ah!
- (Clattering)
1587
01:11:03,176 --> 01:11:05,011
He wouldn't have wanted you.
1588
01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:06,429
But he did, Nell.
1589
01:11:06,554 --> 01:11:09,140
And you took him just
because you couldn't...
1590
01:11:09,223 --> 01:11:10,367
What the bleedin' hell
is going on in here?
1591
01:11:10,391 --> 01:11:11,476
(Fabric tearing)
1592
01:11:12,894 --> 01:11:13,895
(Young Nell groans)
1593
01:11:14,353 --> 01:11:15,354
(Whimpers)
1594
01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:19,400
The day you were born,
daddy told me
1595
01:11:19,484 --> 01:11:22,403
to always look after you
and I always have.
1596
01:11:23,029 --> 01:11:24,572
But that ends today.
1597
01:11:26,199 --> 01:11:28,701
- You are dead to me.
- (Young Nell laughs)
1598
01:11:28,785 --> 01:11:31,162
Don't be so dramatic, joanie.
1599
01:11:31,245 --> 01:11:33,164
Today's supposed
to be a celebration.
1600
01:11:33,247 --> 01:11:34,957
Tel: It is, Nell.
1601
01:11:35,166 --> 01:11:37,710
Because if I've read
this situation correctly,
1602
01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:40,379
we don't ever
have to see you again.
1603
01:11:42,256 --> 01:11:43,591
Well said, tel.
1604
01:11:44,842 --> 01:11:46,469
Shall we?
1605
01:11:46,719 --> 01:11:49,347
(Melancholy music playing)
1606
01:12:24,382 --> 01:12:26,222
Jamie: Couldn't you have been
with Walter then,
1607
01:12:26,259 --> 01:12:27,510
once you knew the truth?
1608
01:12:28,678 --> 01:12:30,179
No, I was a married woman.
1609
01:12:31,472 --> 01:12:33,266
That's not how things were done.
1610
01:12:35,184 --> 01:12:37,186
So, that's why you never
speak to auntie Nell?
1611
01:12:37,270 --> 01:12:38,980
She stole my life.
1612
01:12:40,982 --> 01:12:42,942
I got lumbered with tel.
1613
01:12:43,025 --> 01:12:46,195
While she swanked off into
the sunset drinking champagne
1614
01:12:46,279 --> 01:12:47,989
and snorting caviar,
1615
01:12:48,072 --> 01:12:50,700
or whatever it is
heavy-chested girls get to do.
1616
01:12:52,118 --> 01:12:55,788
Yeah, but you had a nice life
with grandad tel, didn't ya?
1617
01:12:56,831 --> 01:12:58,040
It was all right.
1618
01:12:59,959 --> 01:13:01,794
But it wasn't what I deserved.
1619
01:13:04,046 --> 01:13:05,339
I did everything right.
1620
01:13:07,008 --> 01:13:08,509
And look where it got me.
1621
01:13:10,511 --> 01:13:12,263
All: We are on the island
1622
01:13:12,346 --> 01:13:14,432
that is off of Ireland
1623
01:13:14,515 --> 01:13:16,142
la-la-la-la hey
1624
01:13:16,225 --> 01:13:18,060
la-la-la-la hey
1625
01:13:18,144 --> 01:13:20,229
we are on the island
1626
01:13:20,313 --> 01:13:22,231
that is off of Ireland
1627
01:13:22,315 --> 01:13:24,275
la-la-la-la hey
1628
01:13:24,358 --> 01:13:25,735
la-la-la-la hey
1629
01:13:25,818 --> 01:13:26,944
(goats bleating)
1630
01:13:27,028 --> 01:13:28,279
(Man laughing)
1631
01:13:28,362 --> 01:13:30,698
(Men speaking indistinctly)
1632
01:13:30,781 --> 01:13:31,782
(Nan sighs)
1633
01:13:31,866 --> 01:13:33,367
Here, I'll tell you what,
1634
01:13:33,451 --> 01:13:35,369
we'll always have
that ferry jump.
1635
01:13:35,453 --> 01:13:37,580
(All laughing)
1636
01:13:37,663 --> 01:13:39,624
Oh, er, quick question.
1637
01:13:39,707 --> 01:13:42,835
What is there to do on the
island off of Ireland, nan?
1638
01:13:42,919 --> 01:13:44,378
Oh, nothing, darling.
1639
01:13:44,462 --> 01:13:47,214
No, I mean,
it's an absolute tip.
1640
01:13:47,298 --> 01:13:49,675
Still, there's another
ferry tomorrow.
1641
01:13:49,759 --> 01:13:51,302
(Cackles) (Manlaughs)
1642
01:13:51,385 --> 01:13:53,638
- Tally-ho, sweethearts.
- Bye, nan.
1643
01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:56,057
Jamie: We're really grateful,
thanks very much.
1644
01:13:56,140 --> 01:13:58,517
Hey, well done, tough guy.
1645
01:13:59,226 --> 01:14:00,311
You really think I'm tough?
1646
01:14:01,020 --> 01:14:03,940
Well, no. Not now
you said that. (Laughs)
1647
01:14:04,231 --> 01:14:07,193
Boom, explosion, shrapnel.
1648
01:14:07,276 --> 01:14:08,694
- (Cackles)
- Legend.
1649
01:14:09,737 --> 01:14:11,530
Man: Her name is nan all: Yeah!
1650
01:14:11,614 --> 01:14:13,074
-And she is lairy -yeah!
1651
01:14:13,199 --> 01:14:14,867
-She dropped a pill -yeah!
1652
01:14:14,951 --> 01:14:16,285
-And jumped a ferry -yeah!
1653
01:14:18,621 --> 01:14:22,416
Oh. (Clicks tongue) Oh.
1654
01:14:22,625 --> 01:14:25,086
Poor old Mick, Mick, Mick.
1655
01:14:25,169 --> 01:14:26,809
Do you think he'll
be all right in prison?
1656
01:14:27,004 --> 01:14:28,130
Yeah.
1657
01:14:28,547 --> 01:14:30,299
Everyone loves magic.
1658
01:14:31,425 --> 01:14:32,426
It's all right.
1659
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:36,055
Yeah. (Chuckles softly)
1660
01:14:37,223 --> 01:14:38,432
Shall we go home now?
1661
01:14:39,308 --> 01:14:40,601
You're so close, nan.
1662
01:14:42,103 --> 01:14:43,437
Let's go home.
1663
01:14:43,521 --> 01:14:44,522
Hmm.
1664
01:14:45,606 --> 01:14:46,774
Chicken shit.
1665
01:14:48,192 --> 01:14:49,485
(Laughs)
1666
01:14:50,069 --> 01:14:51,404
Touché, son.
1667
01:14:51,862 --> 01:14:52,863
Touche.
1668
01:14:52,947 --> 01:14:54,865
(Nan laughs)
1669
01:14:58,035 --> 01:15:00,788
I meant it,
what I said, you know?
1670
01:15:00,871 --> 01:15:01,956
Jamie: What's that, nan?
1671
01:15:03,124 --> 01:15:04,333
I am proud of you.
1672
01:15:06,043 --> 01:15:07,378
You remembered saying that?
1673
01:15:08,170 --> 01:15:09,880
Nan: Of course I remember.
1674
01:15:11,382 --> 01:15:12,609
- (Mellow music playing)
- Also meant it
1675
01:15:12,633 --> 01:15:15,011
when I blew off in your face.
(Cackles)
1676
01:15:15,803 --> 01:15:17,513
- Thanks, nan.
- Nan: Yeah.
1677
01:15:17,596 --> 01:15:19,640
(Engine starts)
1678
01:15:19,724 --> 01:15:22,351
(Mellow music continues playing)
1679
01:15:50,588 --> 01:15:52,214
(Engine stops)
1680
01:15:56,343 --> 01:15:58,054
I'll wait here for a bit,
1681
01:15:58,179 --> 01:15:59,930
let you say hello,
1682
01:16:00,014 --> 01:16:01,265
get reacquainted.
1683
01:16:03,726 --> 01:16:04,810
What are you gonna do?
1684
01:16:05,978 --> 01:16:07,188
I've got my crafts, haven't I?
1685
01:16:07,271 --> 01:16:09,273
(Mellow music continues playing)
1686
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:32,273
You've come up and seen me.
1687
01:17:32,898 --> 01:17:34,984
I've come up and seen you.
1688
01:17:35,067 --> 01:17:37,319
You've come up
and seen me, ain't ya?
1689
01:17:38,154 --> 01:17:39,238
I've come up and seen you.
1690
01:17:40,406 --> 01:17:41,824
Well, you are a good girl.
1691
01:17:44,285 --> 01:17:45,786
You look rough.
1692
01:17:46,162 --> 01:17:48,164
- Well, I'm dying.
- Nan: Oh.
1693
01:17:48,247 --> 01:17:49,748
Read your letter.
1694
01:17:50,583 --> 01:17:52,334
No need to keep banging on
about it.
1695
01:17:52,418 --> 01:17:54,712
(Music continues playing)
1696
01:18:04,054 --> 01:18:05,806
- (Music stops)
- (Door closes)
1697
01:18:07,850 --> 01:18:10,811
You've landed on your feet,
as usual.
1698
01:18:11,604 --> 01:18:12,855
In what way?
1699
01:18:13,147 --> 01:18:14,607
Living in paradise.
1700
01:18:15,858 --> 01:18:17,568
- Look at this place.
- We've made do.
1701
01:18:17,985 --> 01:18:19,153
Made do?
1702
01:18:20,905 --> 01:18:22,948
Where's Walter, then?
1703
01:18:23,365 --> 01:18:25,367
He's upstairs getting ready.
1704
01:18:25,451 --> 01:18:28,370
I think he's a bit nervous to
see you after all this time.
1705
01:18:28,996 --> 01:18:30,080
So I'm here, then.
1706
01:18:30,998 --> 01:18:32,291
Got what you wanted?
1707
01:18:34,043 --> 01:18:35,711
You want to show me
your perfect life
1708
01:18:35,794 --> 01:18:38,589
in your perfect house
with your perfect man?
1709
01:18:38,672 --> 01:18:41,425
You want me to see all
the things you stole from me,
1710
01:18:41,508 --> 01:18:43,719
so you can have one
last thrill before you go?
1711
01:18:46,138 --> 01:18:48,224
You always resented me, Nell.
1712
01:18:48,974 --> 01:18:51,060
And all I ever did
was try and look after ya.
1713
01:18:51,143 --> 01:18:52,811
(Footsteps approaching)
1714
01:18:56,398 --> 01:18:59,318
(Whimsical music playing)
1715
01:19:12,790 --> 01:19:14,458
Hello, joanie.
1716
01:19:17,628 --> 01:19:19,046
Joanie, it's me.
1717
01:19:19,129 --> 01:19:21,257
(Music intensifies)
1718
01:19:22,341 --> 01:19:23,550
Nell: Say hello to Walter.
1719
01:19:25,469 --> 01:19:26,679
Hmm.
1720
01:19:28,305 --> 01:19:29,640
You...
1721
01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:32,810
It's wonderful to see you.
I've missed you.
1722
01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:35,020
We both have.
1723
01:19:35,729 --> 01:19:37,731
Nan: Erm...
1724
01:19:38,691 --> 01:19:39,984
Who is it?
1725
01:19:40,067 --> 01:19:41,277
Walter: It's me, joanie.
1726
01:19:43,112 --> 01:19:45,447
- Who is it?
- Joanie, it's me.
1727
01:19:46,407 --> 01:19:49,118
What? So, erm...
1728
01:19:53,664 --> 01:19:54,957
You look well.
1729
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:57,209
Hmm.
1730
01:20:00,170 --> 01:20:01,450
How long has this been going on?
1731
01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:03,465
All our lives.
1732
01:20:03,549 --> 01:20:05,592
We came out here
for some privacy.
1733
01:20:05,676 --> 01:20:09,930
I suppose it wasn't
as accepted as it is now.
1734
01:20:10,347 --> 01:20:12,099
We had to keep ourselves
to ourselves.
1735
01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:15,394
Er, so you
1736
01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:17,313
both wear dresses?
1737
01:20:17,813 --> 01:20:19,398
Yeah, sometimes we share them.
1738
01:20:19,481 --> 01:20:20,983
He has tremendous taste
in fashion.
1739
01:20:21,525 --> 01:20:22,651
Oh, it's...
1740
01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:24,361
"He."
1741
01:20:25,112 --> 01:20:26,488
"He," is it?
1742
01:20:26,572 --> 01:20:27,573
Yep.
1743
01:20:28,365 --> 01:20:30,075
Vvhats, el”
1744
01:20:30,242 --> 01:20:32,786
what's going on? Am I...
Am I having a stroke?
1745
01:20:40,544 --> 01:20:43,422
It's a lot to process,
but it's still me.
1746
01:20:43,547 --> 01:20:46,550
I've just always felt happier
in women's clothing.
1747
01:20:46,633 --> 01:20:48,218
I'm still a man
in every respect.
1748
01:20:49,053 --> 01:20:50,679
If you understand my meaning.
1749
01:20:50,763 --> 01:20:52,014
We have a voracious sex life.
1750
01:20:52,097 --> 01:20:54,183
All right, sailor,
I don't need all the details.
1751
01:20:54,266 --> 01:20:57,269
(Walter laughs and chuckles)
1752
01:20:58,479 --> 01:20:59,813
Well, I've gotta admit,
1753
01:21:01,482 --> 01:21:02,775
I never saw that coming.
1754
01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:04,276
Neither did I.
1755
01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:06,070
Really?
1756
01:21:07,154 --> 01:21:09,239
(Big band music playing)
1757
01:21:10,157 --> 01:21:11,397
Is that chiffon you're wearing?
1758
01:21:22,169 --> 01:21:23,879
Are those buttons
mother of Pearl?
1759
01:21:27,007 --> 01:21:28,008
Fair enough.
1760
01:21:30,094 --> 01:21:32,513
So when did you find out
about all this?
1761
01:21:33,013 --> 01:21:34,598
On our wedding night.
1762
01:21:35,516 --> 01:21:37,643
His drawers were frillier
than mine.
1763
01:21:39,353 --> 01:21:40,354
Hmm.
1764
01:21:44,817 --> 01:21:46,652
(Cackling)
1765
01:21:50,531 --> 01:21:54,660
(All laughing)
1766
01:22:08,632 --> 01:22:11,301
Look at the size of the shoes.
1767
01:22:11,802 --> 01:22:14,179
(All laughing)
1768
01:22:15,222 --> 01:22:17,599
- They're like boats!
- (All laughing hysterically)
1769
01:22:32,281 --> 01:22:33,824
Oh, I do feel better.
1770
01:22:33,907 --> 01:22:37,119
Oh, that has cheered me up.
I mean, all these years
1771
01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:40,330
I thought you'd been
living the perfect life.
1772
01:22:40,414 --> 01:22:41,748
Little did I know most of it's
1773
01:22:42,082 --> 01:22:43,584
been spent arguing over
1774
01:22:43,667 --> 01:22:47,754
who looks best in
a feathered muumuu. (Laughs)
1775
01:22:48,380 --> 01:22:49,631
(Laughing) A muumuu!
1776
01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:56,972
Whoo! That can't have been easy.
1777
01:22:57,473 --> 01:23:00,267
Well, I'm glad you had
a rough ride of it an' all.
1778
01:23:01,143 --> 01:23:03,020
Well, how did you
have a rough ride?
1779
01:23:03,103 --> 01:23:06,398
You were with Terry. He was
your soulmate, wasn't he?
1780
01:23:06,982 --> 01:23:08,984
We all thought
you were meant to be.
1781
01:23:09,067 --> 01:23:12,905
Terry? Terry?
1782
01:23:14,072 --> 01:23:16,074
(Soft romantic music playing)
1783
01:24:28,272 --> 01:24:30,482
(Gloomy music playing)
1784
01:24:51,712 --> 01:24:53,297
Ineverreahsed.
1785
01:24:54,756 --> 01:24:56,300
(Scoffs)
1786
01:24:56,383 --> 01:24:57,743
It's always the way,
though, innit?
1787
01:24:59,636 --> 01:25:02,180
You don't appreciate what
you've had till it's gone.
1788
01:25:04,349 --> 01:25:06,393
He was a wonderful man.
1789
01:25:08,395 --> 01:25:09,730
My Terry.
1790
01:25:11,773 --> 01:25:13,984
He loved me so much.
1791
01:25:16,612 --> 01:25:18,405
Obsessed with my arsehole.
1792
01:25:19,448 --> 01:25:22,242
But, other than that,
a proper gent. (Sniffles)
1793
01:25:25,162 --> 01:25:27,164
- (Knocking on door)
- Jamie: Hello?
1794
01:25:28,290 --> 01:25:30,959
Oh, here's me grandson.
1795
01:25:31,043 --> 01:25:32,711
He's drove me all this way.
1796
01:25:32,794 --> 01:25:34,129
Oh, he's a good boy.
1797
01:25:34,212 --> 01:25:35,857
- Is it all right it! Come in?
- Walter: Come in.
1798
01:25:35,881 --> 01:25:37,132
Nan: Come and meet youraunfie.
1799
01:25:37,215 --> 01:25:38,216
Nell: Oh.
1800
01:25:39,509 --> 01:25:42,387
Oh, I do love a corduroy collar.
1801
01:25:43,847 --> 01:25:45,015
Thanks.
1802
01:25:48,602 --> 01:25:50,145
(Nell chuckling)
1803
01:25:53,815 --> 01:25:54,983
Jamie: Lovely to meet you.
1804
01:26:05,202 --> 01:26:07,412
Nan: Look how big
your hat is there.
1805
01:26:09,790 --> 01:26:12,793
"Our life through a series of
gorgeous outfits". All right.
1806
01:26:12,918 --> 01:26:16,088
Oh, very nice.
Wear it well, don't ya?
1807
01:26:16,171 --> 01:26:17,649
Nell: Oh...
Nan: Yeah, that's very, er...
1808
01:26:17,673 --> 01:26:19,800
- That was new year.
- Jamie: Yeah. Nice.
1809
01:26:19,925 --> 01:26:21,051
It's very, innit, eh?
1810
01:26:21,134 --> 01:26:22,719
Here's his power dressing.
1811
01:26:22,803 --> 01:26:24,388
Nell: Mmm. Nan: Innit, eh?
1812
01:26:24,471 --> 01:26:26,807
He's got a cape on that suit.
1813
01:26:26,890 --> 01:26:27,891
It's a scarf.
1814
01:26:27,974 --> 01:26:29,685
Oh, it's a scarf. Do excuse me.
1815
01:26:29,768 --> 01:26:31,478
(Laughs) It was a scarf.
1816
01:26:31,561 --> 01:26:33,397
Yeah, it's, it's a pashmina.
1817
01:26:33,480 --> 01:26:37,567
Oh, a pashmina, this one, see?
Have you met? (Laughs)
1818
01:26:47,244 --> 01:26:48,444
Jamie: I'll give you a minute.
1819
01:27:00,257 --> 01:27:02,259
I hated what Nell did to us.
1820
01:27:03,093 --> 01:27:05,512
Took me a long time to forgive
her for keeping us apart.
1821
01:27:05,595 --> 01:27:06,596
Well...
1822
01:27:07,097 --> 01:27:08,348
She stole our lives.
1823
01:27:08,432 --> 01:27:10,308
- I mean...
- Butshe...
1824
01:27:11,435 --> 01:27:12,686
She changed.
1825
01:27:14,229 --> 01:27:15,897
She regretted hurting you.
1826
01:27:15,981 --> 01:27:17,649
And I grew to love her.
1827
01:27:20,444 --> 01:27:23,363
So maybe I ended up with
the right sister, after all.
1828
01:27:26,408 --> 01:27:27,409
Did I?
1829
01:27:28,910 --> 01:27:30,704
100%.
1830
01:27:31,496 --> 01:27:33,206
Hands up, I don't think
1831
01:27:33,290 --> 01:27:35,584
I could have got on board
with any of this.
1832
01:27:35,667 --> 01:27:38,044
(Chuckung)
1833
01:27:39,880 --> 01:27:40,922
You really are marvellous.
1834
01:27:41,006 --> 01:27:42,215
(Chuckles)
1835
01:28:09,701 --> 01:28:10,744
I don't know what to say.
1836
01:28:12,412 --> 01:28:13,455
Then don't.
1837
01:28:16,249 --> 01:28:17,709
You conniving old 'ore.
1838
01:28:18,877 --> 01:28:20,629
You miserable old shithouse.
1839
01:28:20,712 --> 01:28:21,963
(Giggles sadly)
1840
01:28:24,299 --> 01:28:26,384
Joanie, I just
want you to know...
1841
01:28:26,468 --> 01:28:27,469
Yeah.
1842
01:28:29,471 --> 01:28:30,555
Me, too.
1843
01:28:47,572 --> 01:28:48,949
You okay, nan?
1844
01:28:50,492 --> 01:28:51,701
I will be.
1845
01:28:54,663 --> 01:28:56,289
We're in trouble, aren't we?
1846
01:28:56,373 --> 01:28:58,792
Like, really serious
criminal trouble?
1847
01:29:00,752 --> 01:29:01,962
Nah.
1848
01:29:03,421 --> 01:29:05,715
Aii's fair in love and war.
1849
01:29:08,802 --> 01:29:11,221
Come on, son, let's go home.
1850
01:29:13,431 --> 01:29:14,683
(Engine starts)
1851
01:29:14,766 --> 01:29:15,767
(Grunts softly)
1852
01:29:20,188 --> 01:29:22,524
- (Brakes screech)
- (Both screaming)
1853
01:29:24,943 --> 01:29:25,944
(Groaning)
1854
01:29:27,696 --> 01:29:28,989
- (Nan screams)
- (Jamie laughs)
1855
01:29:30,115 --> 01:29:32,659
Thank you, arsemunch!
Good effort, son.
1856
01:29:32,742 --> 01:29:35,662
- Arsemunch: Love you, nan!
- (Jamie and nan laugh)
1857
01:29:36,121 --> 01:29:37,539
Nan: Well, that turned out to be
1858
01:29:37,622 --> 01:29:40,125
a very multi-layered road trip.
1859
01:29:40,208 --> 01:29:41,918
You'll have a field day
with your cartoons.
1860
01:29:44,254 --> 01:29:46,339
(Upbeat music playing)
1861
01:29:51,636 --> 01:29:54,055
Prisoners: Mick! Mick! Mick!
Mick! Mick!
1862
01:29:54,139 --> 01:29:55,140
Ta-da!
1863
01:29:56,224 --> 01:29:57,267
Whoo!
1864
01:29:57,392 --> 01:29:58,435
It's not over!
1865
01:29:58,518 --> 01:29:59,519
- (Farts)
- (Laughs)
1866
01:29:59,603 --> 01:30:00,604
See ya!
1867
01:30:01,021 --> 01:30:02,480
(Laughing)
1868
01:30:21,207 --> 01:30:22,584
Nan: Oh, sweetheart.
1869
01:30:23,084 --> 01:30:24,544
- You're back!
- Hi!
1870
01:30:24,628 --> 01:30:26,463
Oh, do join us.
1871
01:30:29,674 --> 01:30:35,472
What a fucking Liberty!
(Laughing)
1872
01:30:35,555 --> 01:30:37,557
(Upbeat music playing)
1873
01:30:58,745 --> 01:31:01,915
All together now!
1874
01:31:01,998 --> 01:31:04,000
(Upbeat music continues playing)
1875
01:32:31,463 --> 01:32:32,797
(Music stops)
1876
01:32:32,881 --> 01:32:35,383
(Soft music playing)
123789
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.