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1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:02,084
Back in the '80s,
2
00:00:02,211 --> 00:00:05,005
my Pop-Pop wasn't exactly
a ray of sunshine.
3
00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:07,257
I'll call a moron a
moron when he's a moron.
4
00:00:07,258 --> 00:00:10,469
And when he lived with us after
his place had a small fire,
5
00:00:10,470 --> 00:00:12,930
his grouchy demeanor got even worse.
6
00:00:12,931 --> 00:00:15,098
Hey, boys, turn down the TV.
7
00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:16,767
I can't hear the screechy neighbor gal
8
00:00:16,768 --> 00:00:18,060
shuffling the stupid tiles.
9
00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:19,478
Ben, shame on you.
10
00:00:19,479 --> 00:00:21,897
I will not allow you to
insult my Mahjong tiles.
11
00:00:21,898 --> 00:00:23,315
Thanks, Bev.
12
00:00:23,316 --> 00:00:25,234
What are you watching
anyway that's so important?
13
00:00:25,235 --> 00:00:26,610
"Little House on the Prairie".
14
00:00:26,611 --> 00:00:28,153
It's just like the video
game "Oregon Trail",
15
00:00:28,154 --> 00:00:29,488
but with Michael Landon.
16
00:00:29,489 --> 00:00:31,573
I would've dominated in olden times.
17
00:00:31,574 --> 00:00:34,076
I'd tame a buffalo and
make fire from dirt.
18
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:37,037
Please, you'd be lucky if
mountain fever took you.
19
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,039
Most likely, you'd be kicked
in the head by your own horse.
20
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,039
Nah.
21
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,626
I'd befriend a coyote and ride
it to the nearest gold mine.
22
00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:44,879
And Mahjong! Ha-ha.
23
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,341
In your face, family and beloved friend.
24
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,967
I am a gorgeous and humble winner.
25
00:00:49,968 --> 00:00:52,052
Impossible. You had to be cheating.
26
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:53,553
There's no other explanation.
27
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,930
Why would you say such a thing?
28
00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:57,682
'Cause I was cheating.
29
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:02,854
Whoa. Domino's is
hiring classier drivers.
30
00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:05,482
Oh, I have something much
better to deliver than a pizza.
31
00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:08,235
- Is Benjamin Goldberg here?
- Who's asking?
32
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,903
I'm from Dopplin Insurance.
33
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,280
I'm happy to tell you your apartment
34
00:01:11,281 --> 00:01:12,739
has been fully repaired.
35
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,783
And I have a check to
cover your moving costs.
36
00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:16,994
What kind of scam you
running here, fella?
37
00:01:16,995 --> 00:01:18,370
No scam.
38
00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:19,746
I should say most people
are typically happy
39
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,123
when I show up with this news.
40
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:23,292
Don't tell me how to feel, sport coat.
41
00:01:23,293 --> 00:01:25,877
- Oh.
- Pop-Pop, this is great...
42
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,421
I mean, not being
hateful to a stranger...
43
00:01:27,422 --> 00:01:29,631
but now you can finally
move out of our basement.
44
00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:31,758
Yes! We can use the hot tub again.
45
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,468
And now I can play "Mario Bros".
46
00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:36,722
without a stream of derogatory
comments about Italian plumbers.
47
00:01:36,723 --> 00:01:39,891
"Gelato lover" isn't
the slam you think it is.
48
00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,893
Italian ice cream in hot water.
49
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:43,520
Ginzy, make that happen for me...
50
00:01:43,521 --> 00:01:46,315
- I'm gonna go get my trunks.
- Wait. What?
51
00:01:46,316 --> 00:01:49,359
Well, Bar in a bathing
suit... that's my cue.
52
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,279
- Pbht.
- Aw, we're gonna miss you, Ben.
53
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,407
But I'm not gonna miss having
my washing machine held hostage
54
00:01:55,408 --> 00:01:56,908
by your Velcro shoes.
55
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:59,369
Best of all, now I can
get my morning paper
56
00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:03,165
without hearing "Hey, Robe
Lady, I took your sports page".
57
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,791
It's a happy day for everybody.
58
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,544
Couldn't find a bathing suit,
so I'm dippin' in the buff.
59
00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:08,879
Hot tub, here I come.
60
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,839
Oh, no, my robe!
61
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,591
? I'm twisted up inside ?
62
00:02:12,592 --> 00:02:15,844
? But nonetheless, I
feel the need to say ?
63
00:02:15,845 --> 00:02:18,639
- Synced and corrected by actumaxime -
- www.addic7ed.com -
64
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:20,223
? I don't know the future ?
65
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:23,226
? But the past keeps
getting clearer every day ?
66
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,145
It was March 8, 1980-something.
67
00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:27,731
Me and my girlfriend,
Carmen, were getting serious,
68
00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:29,650
which meant the time had
come to meet my family.
69
00:02:29,651 --> 00:02:32,402
- I am so nervous.
- Don't be.
70
00:02:32,403 --> 00:02:34,488
Just follow my carefully
crafted instructions,
71
00:02:34,489 --> 00:02:39,618
and they'll love you as
much as I... l... like you.
72
00:02:39,619 --> 00:02:42,996
With affection, I'm careful
not to prematurely label.
73
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:46,291
Do you really think that
I need these notecards?
74
00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:47,626
I'm pretty good with new people.
75
00:02:47,627 --> 00:02:50,045
For sure, but they're not.
76
00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:52,881
And thanks to my tutoring
and her natural charm,
77
00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:54,341
I was hoping she'd be a hit.
78
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:56,885
First up was Barry.
79
00:02:56,886 --> 00:03:01,598
Um, I love how jacked and
Chuck Norris-like your body is.
80
00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:04,518
What a wonderful and accurate hello.
81
00:03:04,519 --> 00:03:06,978
Adam, don't let this one get away.
82
00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:09,815
After that success, she took
a swing at my grouchy grandpa.
83
00:03:09,816 --> 00:03:12,818
Mr. Goldberg, this bag of
russet potatoes is for you.
84
00:03:12,819 --> 00:03:15,237
The whole gunnysack? Eh, look at you.
85
00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:16,571
Not a complete waste of space.
86
00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:19,616
Whoa. Pop-Pop's highest compliment.
87
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:23,286
Then came the final gauntlet,
my famously hard-to-please mom.
88
00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:24,830
I hope you like it.
89
00:03:24,831 --> 00:03:27,332
I only used 14 cheeses and every
meat available at the butcher.
90
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,459
Hmm.
91
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:34,089
I love how impossibly full
I feel after just one bite!
92
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:36,049
- Mm!
- Success.
93
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:39,136
Carmen had done what few before
her had dared to even try.
94
00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:41,221
See? They all adore you.
95
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:42,431
And now the final part of my plan...
96
00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:45,225
we leave before they change
their crazy, fickle minds.
97
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,393
But, wait, what about your sister?
98
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:47,894
You don't have to worry about her.
99
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,063
Trust me, let's go now and
leave the rest of these lunatics
100
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,314
wanting more.
101
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:55,360
Okey-dokey, I guess.
102
00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:59,197
Guess who has two thumbs and
ate all of her strained peas?
103
00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:00,615
This gal!
104
00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:03,743
That is adorable. You must be Erica.
105
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:07,247
- I'm Carmen.
- Oh.
106
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,415
Hello.
107
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,543
Um, I was just heading out,
108
00:04:11,544 --> 00:04:14,546
but I wanted to say
how super impressed I am
109
00:04:14,547 --> 00:04:16,339
by your ability to balance motherhood
110
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,675
and applying to law school.
111
00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:20,886
Right back 'atcha.
112
00:04:20,887 --> 00:04:23,305
That doesn't apply to me.
113
00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,098
I... T... Thank you.
114
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,267
Your skin is super dewy.
115
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,189
I'm gonna go.
116
00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:34,941
It turned out not
everyone was a Carmen fan.
117
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,526
What the hell, lady?
118
00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:39,780
What's with the hateful reaction
to meeting the woman I...
119
00:04:39,781 --> 00:04:41,239
have intense affection for?
120
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,241
Oh, I've met Carmen before.
121
00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:44,659
I've met her but good.
122
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,747
I was 8 years old.
123
00:04:48,748 --> 00:04:50,540
And we were auditioning
for the role of Annie
124
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,501
in the Jenkintown
Children's Theater production
125
00:04:52,502 --> 00:04:54,252
of the beloved musical.
126
00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:57,297
And you shared a fun and healthy
love of the stage without issue?
127
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:59,591
She stole my part!
128
00:04:59,592 --> 00:05:01,635
I was a shoo-in for Annie.
129
00:05:01,636 --> 00:05:05,263
No one could sing, dance, or
violently scrub a floor like me.
130
00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:06,932
You do carry the anger of a child
131
00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:08,475
whose parents have abandoned her.
132
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:10,977
She scratched my name off
the audition list for Annie
133
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,480
and instead put me
up for Daddy Warbucks.
134
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:14,940
The old bald millionaire?
135
00:05:14,941 --> 00:05:16,983
The old bald billionaire.
136
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,485
This image is haunting,
137
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:21,238
especially what appears
to be a real, lit cigar.
138
00:05:21,239 --> 00:05:22,948
The rest of my career
in children's theater,
139
00:05:22,949 --> 00:05:26,326
I was typecast as bald
man after bald man.
140
00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:28,537
"The King and I",
141
00:05:28,538 --> 00:05:33,416
Uncle Fester, Kojak, and the
list goes on and on.
142
00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:36,169
I can't imagine Carmen
being capable of sabotage.
143
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,046
Oh, she is a monster,
144
00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:40,090
and I never want to see
her in this house again.
145
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,932
I'm concerned I don't
look that different.
146
00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:51,184
While my sister was
still stuck in the past,
147
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:54,938
Pop-Pop was looking toward a
future in his old apartment.
148
00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:56,356
Is this the right place?
149
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:59,317
Everything is sorta yellow and sad.
150
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:02,362
The bums patched the hole in my floor.
151
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,072
And the fridge is working.
152
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,866
- Isn't that a good thing?
- Feh!
153
00:06:05,867 --> 00:06:07,784
My old place was distinctive.
154
00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:10,120
How am I supposed to think
if nothing's dripping on me?
155
00:06:10,121 --> 00:06:11,454
Well, if it makes you feel better,
156
00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:12,831
this place still makes me bummed out
157
00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:14,374
that this is how we treat our elderly.
158
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,042
You call those insurance
asswipes and tell them
159
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,836
they can stick that
check up their keisters.
160
00:06:17,837 --> 00:06:19,296
I'm not falling for their con.
161
00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:23,008
- Con? Now, what's really going on here?
- Fine.
162
00:06:23,009 --> 00:06:24,843
You want to know what's going
on, friend of my granddaughter?
163
00:06:24,844 --> 00:06:28,221
- Husband. But, yeah.
- It's too quiet.
164
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:31,182
There's nobody here,
and it's just gonna be me
165
00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:33,018
and the sound of my
own horrible thoughts.
166
00:06:33,019 --> 00:06:35,228
Are you saying that you're gonna
miss living at the Goldbergs'?
167
00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:37,480
Way to go, Dick Tracy. You solved it.
168
00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:39,441
Well, why don't you just tell
Beverly that you want to stay?
169
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,192
Please, they almost threw a parade
170
00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,193
when they heard I was leaving.
171
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:43,904
I'm sure if you just explain...
172
00:06:43,905 --> 00:06:45,155
Explain nothing.
173
00:06:45,156 --> 00:06:47,449
I don't want to grovel like a yutz.
174
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,868
I want to feel wanted.
175
00:06:49,869 --> 00:06:51,786
- H... How do you do it?
- What do you mean?
176
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:54,414
I mean, you're just
as unnecessary as I am,
177
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:56,082
but no one seems to want you gone.
178
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,209
Again, I'm Erica's
husband and the father
179
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,211
- to Beverly's only grandchild.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
180
00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:02,130
I don't need the complete
works of Josh Schwab.
181
00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:03,506
That's not my name,
182
00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:05,383
but close enough for me
to appreciate the effort.
183
00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:06,968
Come on, spill it.
184
00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:09,346
How come they're not high-fiving
over the idea of you leaving?
185
00:07:09,347 --> 00:07:12,307
I guess it's because
I'm kind and respectful
186
00:07:12,308 --> 00:07:14,059
and super helpful around the house.
187
00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:15,477
Josh, you're a genius.
188
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,062
I am neither of those things.
189
00:07:17,063 --> 00:07:18,980
You're gonna teach me to be
a helpful schmuck like you
190
00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:21,149
so I can fool those idiots
into letting me stay.
191
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:24,319
Josh Schwab,
192
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:25,737
what have you gotten yourself into?
193
00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:28,531
While Pop-Pop had a plan to
keep living at our house,
194
00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:30,200
I didn't know how to tell Carmen
195
00:07:30,201 --> 00:07:33,787
she wasn't allowed in mine.
196
00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:37,248
Wow, that was the most hop
you've ever had in your sock.
197
00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:39,834
Well, I guess I am just
fueled by happiness.
198
00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:41,127
Bonding with your family was so amazing.
199
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,253
I'm still buzzing.
200
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:43,880
Yep. Bonded.
201
00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:46,633
Just like the Krazy Glue
guy and his construction hat.
202
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:47,926
No one's doubting it.
203
00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:50,387
I am jazzed to get to
know your sister better.
204
00:07:50,388 --> 00:07:51,596
I feel like Erica and
I could be friends.
205
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:54,641
- Don't you think?
- Yeah, maybe.
206
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:56,434
May... be.
207
00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:58,311
Why are you being weird-weird instead
208
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:01,189
- of your usual cute-weird?
- Gah, fine.
209
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:02,732
You and Erica have met before.
210
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:04,984
And she has this nutso idea in her head
211
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,986
that when you two were in
"Annie" as little girls,
212
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:10,031
- you sabotaged her.
- W... What?
213
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:11,658
I would never do anything like that.
214
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:13,702
I don't even remember
her being in "Annie".
215
00:08:13,703 --> 00:08:15,286
She was Daddy Warbucks.
216
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:17,706
No, that was a large bald boy.
217
00:08:17,707 --> 00:08:20,083
No, that was my insane sister.
218
00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:22,043
And now she holds a
crazy grudge against you.
219
00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:24,629
Okay. I will smooth this over
220
00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:26,589
and apologize for the misunderstanding.
221
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:27,966
You're amazing.
222
00:08:27,967 --> 00:08:31,219
This is why I lo... like you so much.
223
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:34,013
And so, Carmen went to apologize.
224
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,141
I am so, so sorry if you're still hurt
225
00:08:36,142 --> 00:08:38,476
by something you think I
did all those years ago.
226
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:40,645
Something I think you did?
227
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,814
Okay, but I have no recollection
of what you're describing,
228
00:08:42,815 --> 00:08:45,066
and I would love to just
move on and be friends.
229
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,943
There's no way you don't remember.
230
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:47,944
The important thing to note
231
00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:49,487
is that she's apologizing.
232
00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:51,531
Let's not get lost in
the blurry specifics.
233
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:54,034
I don't accept her empty apology.
234
00:08:54,035 --> 00:08:55,785
She's speaking in a psychotic whisper,
235
00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:57,871
but I think I heard the
words, "I accept her apology".
236
00:08:57,872 --> 00:08:59,039
You did not.
237
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,373
Maybe this was a bad time.
238
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,208
I don't want to disturb
the baby, who is beautiful.
239
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,793
By the way, she looks just like you.
240
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,587
Why, because she's bald?
241
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,632
While Erica had rejected
Carmen's apology,
242
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:12,093
Geoff accepted the task
of teaching Pop-Pop
243
00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:14,345
how to help around the house.
244
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,390
Let's get this thing going
before my fiber drink kicks in.
245
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:18,767
Let's start with the basics.
246
00:09:18,768 --> 00:09:20,602
You've got to be warm.
247
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:23,313
Ask people how their day
was, and listen with a smile.
248
00:09:23,314 --> 00:09:24,981
I don't think my face can do that.
249
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,986
Wow. Your grinning muscles do
appear to have withered away,
250
00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:31,863
but with practice we can build them up.
251
00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:32,989
Fine. I'll muster a smirk.
252
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:34,616
Now, what's next on your stupid list?
253
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:37,535
Assist around the house.
Like with laundry and such.
254
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,746
I'd rather live alone than touch
the older boy's under-drawers.
255
00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:41,539
Now get to the next one already.
256
00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:43,625
"N", as in never in the way.
257
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,293
Like the waiter who slides
in to clean the table
258
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:46,669
while you're in the men's room.
259
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,004
You don't know he's
there, but you're happy
260
00:09:48,005 --> 00:09:49,714
he's scraping away your crumbs.
261
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:51,216
So, that's where my table crumbs go?
262
00:09:51,217 --> 00:09:53,259
Some bastard's pocketing them?
263
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,803
Uh, moving on to compliments...
264
00:09:54,804 --> 00:09:57,514
this family thrives
on positive attention.
265
00:09:57,515 --> 00:10:00,350
Blech. Needy bastards.
Isn't it enough to be alive?
266
00:10:00,351 --> 00:10:01,976
Guess how many dead people I know.
267
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:05,980
In short, you need to show
this family how you WANC.
268
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,232
Oh, no.
269
00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:08,983
My acronym is accidentally filthy.
270
00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:10,860
No. Don't beat yourself up.
271
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:13,029
I'm ready to do your
thing and WANC this family,
272
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,489
and WANC it but good.
273
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,035
In the hopes of continuing
living in our house,
274
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,870
my Pop-Pop was finally ready
275
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:23,289
to be a helpful member of the family.
276
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,501
What is this, Ben? Did
you wash my wool sweaters?
277
00:10:26,502 --> 00:10:28,211
Yeah, you're welcome.
278
00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:31,589
Kinda a tight fit, but I guess
you're not married anymore.
279
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,133
Wow, okay, it'll be fine.
280
00:10:33,134 --> 00:10:35,260
I guess Muriel will just
281
00:10:35,261 --> 00:10:38,847
- out-glitter everyone in her baby group.
- Oh.
282
00:10:38,848 --> 00:10:41,182
And by the by, that
golden mane of yours,
283
00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:42,308
pickin' up the light and stuff.
284
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,435
Yeah, real yellow and bright.
285
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:47,188
It was incredibly hard to
tell, but was that a compliment?
286
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:49,524
All the nice words and you
look upon me favorably now.
287
00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:51,943
And after that awkward exchange,
288
00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:54,654
Pop-Pop kept doing everything
Geoff taught him...
289
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:55,822
in his own way.
290
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,073
Oh, hello, Ben.
291
00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,409
I'm just returning
Beverly's casserole dish,
292
00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:00,409
if you wouldn't mind giving it to her.
293
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,162
Sure. In fact, I got
something for you, too.
294
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,622
Oh. My missing paper.
295
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:07,208
I already read it cover
to cover on the crapper,
296
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:08,585
so now it's yours again.
297
00:11:08,586 --> 00:11:11,421
Oh and, look,
now it's touching my hands.
298
00:11:11,422 --> 00:11:12,421
Mm-hmm.
299
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:17,177
- Made you a little study snack.
- Whoa.
300
00:11:17,178 --> 00:11:18,761
Thanks, Pop-Pop.
301
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,180
Is that a peeled lemon?
302
00:11:20,181 --> 00:11:22,348
Oh, you betcha. This is brain food.
303
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,893
And is that just a tub of margarine?
304
00:11:24,894 --> 00:11:27,729
Oh, look who's too good to put
a butter substitute on a lemon.
305
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,147
Now who's your number-one grandad?
306
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,212
Why do you keep
doing that with your face?
307
00:11:33,213 --> 00:11:35,486
As crazy as it was,
308
00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,739
Geoff's advice seemed to be working.
309
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:39,365
I have to say, Bevy,
310
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:42,785
I saw Ben earlier and
he wasn't a total crumb.
311
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,829
He's been making a very confusing effort
312
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:46,497
around here, too.
313
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:49,459
This morning, he held
the door open for me. Hmm.
314
00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:52,212
I didn't want to go anywhere,
but it was a nice gesture.
315
00:11:52,213 --> 00:11:53,379
Hmm.
316
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,381
Well, he even yelled at
me from across the street
317
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:58,593
that my body looked shapely
enough to take a run at.
318
00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:02,388
Um, you know, I was with my
husband and kids at the time,
319
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,015
but in a way it was nice.
320
00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:06,768
Oh, my God. Ginzy, that makes no sense.
321
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:07,894
Well, you know, I've been playing tennis
322
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,479
and I drink lots of Tab.
323
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,899
No, not about your
aging torso. It's Ben.
324
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,693
You don't just suddenly become
a nice person in your late 80s.
325
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:18,446
The man's clearing losing his faculties.
326
00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:20,573
Oh, no. Well, you need to
get him to see a doctor.
327
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,158
I don't have to go anywhere
328
00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:25,828
because I have the world's
best doctor right here.
329
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:28,248
- Barry!
- I was thinking more of a specialist
330
00:12:28,249 --> 00:12:30,083
or someone who hasn't
recently destroyed my lawn
331
00:12:30,084 --> 00:12:31,626
with a pogo stick.
332
00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:32,835
This better be good.
333
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:34,754
I was watching "Manimal",
and he was a dolphin.
334
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:35,964
Barry, we have reason to believe
335
00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:38,174
that Pop-Pop is in mental decline.
336
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:41,386
For sure. You know, the man
actually tried to hug me.
337
00:12:41,387 --> 00:12:43,554
I was so confused I
almost round-housed him.
338
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,682
My GP could recommend someone.
339
00:12:45,683 --> 00:12:47,475
Barry, what do we do?
340
00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:49,018
Everything I say.
341
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:51,938
See, it is my duty as chief
medical officer of this house
342
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:55,275
to diagnose, treat, and cure,
whether they want it or not...
343
00:12:55,276 --> 00:12:57,777
anyone who crosses our threshold.
344
00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:01,197
That's way wrong. And
probably illegal, just...
345
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:04,033
My perfect doctor boy
is gonna fix everything.
346
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:06,703
There is a world-renowned medical center
347
00:13:06,704 --> 00:13:09,998
like three miles from here,
and you're both walking away.
348
00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:13,167
With that, Barry would help
my mom figure out Pop-Pop.
349
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,295
And my sister had figured
out a way to end her feud
350
00:13:15,296 --> 00:13:16,587
with Carmen.
351
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,423
What's this?
352
00:13:18,424 --> 00:13:19,716
You wanted to fix our little feud.
353
00:13:19,717 --> 00:13:21,968
Well, I found a way.
354
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:24,178
You decided to see a therapist
about your rage issues
355
00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:25,805
and this is your giant prescription?
356
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:29,183
This is for an open audition
for "Annie" at a small theater.
357
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:31,602
We're both gonna audition and
everyone's gonna finally see
358
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,354
who deserves that part.
359
00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:35,356
Erica, stop. You're a mother now.
360
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,567
And I'm gonna teach my
daughter how to right a wrong.
361
00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:40,069
It's fine. Maybe it's time to remind you
362
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,447
why you didn't get that
part then... or now.
363
00:13:42,448 --> 00:13:43,740
- Great.
- It is great.
364
00:13:43,741 --> 00:13:46,534
- The greatest.
- Maybe something even greater than that.
365
00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:47,869
What could be greater than the greatest?
366
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,746
I'm glad you asked. It's me.
367
00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:50,746
Damn it, that was good.
368
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,290
Good enough that you don't
want to do this anymore?
369
00:13:52,291 --> 00:13:53,583
Oh, no.
370
00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:55,376
In two days, we'll see
how good you really are
371
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:57,920
on that stage outside
of Smyrna, Delaware.
372
00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:59,964
And it specifically says,
don't park at the church
373
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:02,300
- across the street, so don't.
- I won't.
374
00:14:02,301 --> 00:14:03,634
Well, you're not getting my spot.
375
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,136
Because besides the part of Annie,
376
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:06,387
I'm getting that, too.
377
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,100
Hoo, that escalated quickly.
378
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:13,394
Yeah. You're really
getting to know my family.
379
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:16,731
So, Carmen had no choice but
to suck it up and audition.
380
00:14:16,732 --> 00:14:18,816
Meanwhile, Pop-Pop was
still trying to be nice,
381
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,735
even though he didn't know
how the vacuum worked.
382
00:14:20,736 --> 00:14:23,571
- What's he doing?
- I think he thinks he's vacuuming.
383
00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:25,740
But he doesn't realize
he has to turn it on.
384
00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:27,492
This looks bad.
385
00:14:27,493 --> 00:14:30,328
With that, Dr. Barry was
reporting to the den.
386
00:14:30,329 --> 00:14:32,955
Hey, respected elder.
387
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,957
Do you know where you are right now?
388
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:37,293
Of course I do. A hell of my own making.
389
00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:39,545
And how many fingers am I holding up?
390
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,214
I'll hold up one if you
don't get out of my face.
391
00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:42,423
Interesting answer.
392
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:45,009
Final question... what day is it?
393
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,552
How the hell would I know that?
394
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,055
Monday, Thursday... they're
all exactly the same to me.
395
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,848
It's worse than I thought.
396
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,142
Take off those shirt and pants.
I'll wash 'em in the sink.
397
00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:56,521
Generous offer, I'm just gonna
run over here real quick, okay?
398
00:14:56,522 --> 00:14:58,564
Well, I'll wash your
pants or anyone else's.
399
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,484
- So?
- Your instincts were right.
400
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:02,985
His brain is mush.
401
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,863
Oh, God. We can't let him move out now.
402
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:07,657
Save your strength.
403
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:09,617
You'll need it to
bathe and carry Pop-Pop.
404
00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:10,827
I'm sorry.
405
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:17,542
Your wild swings from
terrible to vaguely kind
406
00:15:17,543 --> 00:15:19,043
have them convinced you're totally nuts.
407
00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:20,628
What are you jabbering about?
408
00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:21,963
They think you're
gonna need to be watched
409
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:23,548
like a hawk for the rest of your life.
410
00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:25,800
So, they're gonna move
some German lady in with me
411
00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:28,302
to spoon-feed me
applesauce and wash my bits?
412
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:29,929
- Not at all.
- Damn cheapos.
413
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,472
Won't spring for a sturdy nurse.
414
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:32,890
It's all very surprising but turns out
415
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,725
they actually want you here.
416
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,644
You've got to come clean and
tell them what you been up to.
417
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,312
Or I let 'em keep thinking
418
00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:41,440
I'm a walking thumb and I get it all.
419
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,026
As Pop-Pop figured out a
way to avoid being nice,
420
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,486
there was no avoiding the showdown
421
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:47,446
at the big "Annie" audition.
422
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,240
Erica Goldberg.
423
00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:51,242
That will be the last
time you say that name
424
00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:53,786
without deep reverence and awe.
425
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:56,914
- And you're auditioning for...?
- Annie.
426
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:59,792
Right. But which role?
427
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:03,671
- Annie.
- Okay then.
428
00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:05,631
I got a Game Boy, so do
whatever you're gonna do.
429
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,968
With that, my sister
pulled out all the stops.
430
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:12,263
She danced with a mop,
twirled with a mop,
431
00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:15,808
- did whatever this was with a mop...
- Sandy.
432
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,018
She even got our dog involved.
433
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,936
Good girl, Sandy.
434
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:21,022
I work well with animals.
435
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:22,773
And finally... she sang.
436
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:24,817
? Tomorrow ?
437
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,152
? Tomorrow ?
438
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:29,197
? I love ya tomorrow ?
439
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:34,368
? You're only a day awaaaaay ?
440
00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:35,995
Yep.
441
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:38,247
No one could deny that Erica crushed it.
442
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:40,708
Break a leg. And I mean literally.
443
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:43,002
You're better off going to the
hospital than on that stage.
444
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,215
I, too, will be auditioning
for the role of Annie.
445
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:49,342
Oh, goody. Another full-grown lady.
446
00:16:49,343 --> 00:16:50,885
So, my sister had a good voice.
447
00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:52,720
But so did Carmen.
448
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:55,473
She could go toe-to-toe
with Erica in anything.
449
00:16:55,474 --> 00:16:57,391
There was no way she couldn't do this.
450
00:16:57,392 --> 00:17:00,353
Okay. I can't do this. It's true, Erica.
451
00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:01,812
I did steal your part when we were kids.
452
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:04,023
I knew it! Vindicated!
453
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,691
You were the better Annie.
454
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,276
Oh, damn right, son!
455
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,528
That. Is. How. You. Do. It.
456
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,781
Back then, we were poor and my voice
457
00:17:11,782 --> 00:17:15,534
- was the only thing I owned.
- Oh, no.
458
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,162
And you had something
that I could never buy.
459
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:19,497
I mean, true talent.
460
00:17:19,498 --> 00:17:21,916
So I... I panicked, and
I did the worst thing
461
00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:24,460
I've ever done, and I
regret it every single day.
462
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:27,630
And I'm so, so sorry.
463
00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:30,841
Oof, you're making it real hard
to dance in the end zone here.
464
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:33,886
What's worse is I... I
tried to cover it up and...
465
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:38,057
lied to the guy I love, and I...
466
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:43,437
It is dawning on me now how
weird it was for me to force
467
00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:45,898
another adult to compete
for a child's part.
468
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,400
Who cares about your
pointless break-through?
469
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:49,068
Carmen just said she loves me.
470
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,365
Thinking that being off his rocker
471
00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:56,617
would keep him living
at our house for good,
472
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:59,287
my Pop-Pop took a wild swing.
473
00:17:59,288 --> 00:18:02,123
Ben, dinner! It's everyone's favorite!
474
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:05,543
- Chili cheese dog cacciatore.
- Ah, hey.
475
00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:08,879
Sorry I'm late. I was getting dressed.
476
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,716
- When will my wife be joining us?
- Oh, no.
477
00:18:11,717 --> 00:18:13,342
He doesn't know where or when he is
478
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,428
and he's wearing his
underwear like a hat.
479
00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:17,430
Is that bad? I think it's bad.
480
00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:20,182
Alright. Pop-Pop, listen to me.
481
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:22,935
Your wife hated you
and left you years ago.
482
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:24,645
Oh, nonsense, I'll call her.
483
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,689
Operator, get me the
prettiest gal in town.
484
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:29,150
Okay. Pop-Pop, this has gone too far.
485
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:31,652
Geoffrey Goldberg Schwartz,
where is your compassion?
486
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,070
Okay, goodbye, Harry Truman.
487
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,033
- Oh.
- Stop eating your presidential corn phone
488
00:18:37,034 --> 00:18:38,242
and just tell them the truth.
489
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,453
The truth? What's he talking about?
490
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:46,375
Alright, fine. I'm not crazy.
491
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:49,086
I was just acting like that because...
492
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,755
I don't want to go back to my apartment.
493
00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:52,381
But you endlessly
complain about this place.
494
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,717
You call it a noisy craphole.
495
00:18:54,718 --> 00:18:56,844
Yeah, well, I kinda
like this noisy craphole.
496
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,846
And the people in it?
497
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:00,723
A couple of you are okay.
498
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:03,434
Why didn't you just say something?
499
00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:06,020
- I don't know.
- I do.
500
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,440
He was afraid you didn't want him here.
501
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:11,359
You know, 'cause you
guys kinda celebrated
502
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:12,610
when he was out the door.
503
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,784
Well, then let's celebrate his return.
504
00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:22,203
Because pain in the ass or not,
505
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,747
you're family and we love you.
506
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:26,749
I don't hear that a lot.
507
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:29,960
Well, now that you're living
here again, get used to it.
508
00:19:29,961 --> 00:19:32,713
While Pop-Pop was feeling right at home,
509
00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:35,675
I was off to set things
right with Carmen.
510
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,721
Adam, I don't even know where to begin.
511
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,224
You don't have to. I
know what's in your heart.
512
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:47,061
- You do?
- Yeah. Love.
513
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:50,731
For me apparently.
514
00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:53,609
- I did say it, didn't I?
- And you meant it?
515
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:58,447
I really did. I love you, Adam.
516
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:02,785
Well... Well, that's good because I...
517
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:08,666
Oh, God. You can't say it, can you?
518
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:11,252
I just wanted it to be special,
519
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:13,671
but I just realized that every moment
520
00:20:13,672 --> 00:20:15,297
with you has been special.
521
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,051
So...
522
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,471
... I love you.
523
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,557
I love you, I love you, I love you.
524
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,018
Guess you can say it.
525
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,857
That's the thing about life.
526
00:20:32,858 --> 00:20:35,443
One day, we can be so afraid
to say what we're thinking.
527
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,655
? Waiting for a star to fall ?
528
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:42,032
The next day, we find
we have the courage
529
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:44,910
to admit our deepest wants and needs.
530
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:48,664
The truth is, whether it's
our love, our vulnerability,
531
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:51,208
or even our most embarrassing
secrets from yesterday...
532
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:55,296
... there will always
be a better tomorrow...
533
00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:57,339
? Waiting for a star to fall ?
534
00:20:57,340 --> 00:21:00,009
... when you're surrounded
by the people you love.
535
00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:01,009
? And carry your heart into my arms ?
536
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:05,431
Wasn't Erica amazing?
Totally, that's why we're here.
537
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:11,020
To support her and for no other reason.
538
00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:13,189
Geoff, I told you not
to bring them here.
539
00:21:13,190 --> 00:21:15,483
But your performance was so... hairless.
540
00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:16,859
Fearless! He said fearless.
541
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:18,235
Yep, it was truly bald.
542
00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:19,904
Bold! He meant to say bold.
543
00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:21,530
Like your silly head.
544
00:21:21,531 --> 00:21:22,740
I really shouldn't
have brought you here.
545
00:21:22,741 --> 00:21:23,908
You blew it again, Geoff.
546
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:30,242
- Synced and corrected by actumaxime -
- www.addic7ed.com -
41959
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