All language subtitles for New.Tricks.S04E04.Nine.Lives.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_Track03

Hello, my name is Jack halford.

I've come to sign my will.

Ah, right.

Ah, mr halford, at
last we meet again.

Perhaps I should
read it through.

Well you're more
than welcome to,

but the wording is exactly

as we said it would
be, three years ago.

Have your circumstances
changed at all since

mrs halford passed on?

No, no, no, nothing's changed.

Then sign it!

Thank you.

I have to see him now.

Blunt, you and I need to talk.

We have discussed
this, mr hepple.

If you wish to speak to me,

you must make an
appointment and wait your turn.

I have been
waiting for ten years.

Then ten minutes won't
make any difference, will it?

Excuse me, who
do you think you are?

Detective superintendent
Pullman, who are you?

The cat is dead,
blunt, the cat is dead.

What cat?

♪ It's all right, it's
okay [upbeat music] ♪

♪ Doesn't really matter
if you're old and grey ♪

♪ it's all right,
I say, it's ok ♪

♪ listen to what I say ♪

♪ it's all right, doing fine ♪

♪ doesn't really matter
if the sun don't shine ♪

♪ it's all right,
I say, it's ok ♪

♪ we're getting to
the end of the day ♪

You know those stories
about dotty old ladies

who leave their house and
their money to their pets?

Thought it was an urban myth.

Well, that's exactly what
Harry's aunt Dorothy did.

The last of the lucky
cats passed on last week.

And as cats tend
not to leave wills,

it means the estate
is back up for grabs.

And where does
that leave you legally?

Well, we're not entirely sure.

The obvious solution would be

for Harry and his sister
Caroline to split everything,

but there's a third claimant.

Another family member?

No, a Dale hewson has been
the housekeeper and cat-sitter

since Dorothy died,
he thinks he's owed.

And what do you think?

I find it ironic that any of
them think they have a claim

considering Dorothy
lay dead for two weeks

before any of them even noticed
as her beloved cats ate her.

Bloody hell.

I'm sorry, look this
is your appointment...

Were there any
suspicious circumstances

surrounding the death?

Actually, there was
an investigation,

but I don't think it
came to anything.

I don't suppose you can remember

the name of the
investigating officer?

Jack!

What?

It can wait.

All you had to do was sign.

- I just need a bit more time.
- Why?

- I just do.
- Oh!

February '96, Caroline
baker visits her aunt Dorothy.

And when she gets there,

the door's locked and
the curtains are drawn.

She rings the doorbell no
joy, so she rattles the letterbox.

And it's then she
notices the smell.

Aunt Dorothy, I presume?

And 30 cats.

But she doesn't call the
police, she calls the rspca.

She's more worried about
the cats than the auntie?

Apparently, anyway
they break down the door

and find Dorothy dead
in her favourite chair.

Well, at least some of
Dorothy, the cats had got hungry.

Serves her right
for having them.

See, a dog would have
raised the alarm, got help.

Not that stupid thing of yours.

Scampi is not stupid,
just gets a bit confused.

I wonder where
he gets that from.

Can we just get
back to the case?

Told you, Jack, there isn't one.

The old lady just
slipped away in her sleep.

The cat thing is revolting,
but it's not criminal.

The original investigation
was inconclusive.

Because there was
nothing to investigate.

Sandra, there's
more to it than that.

The way the nephew was behaving.

I'm sorry, the answer is no.

There's just not
enough evidence.

Ok, fine.

Why were you at the
solicitor's anyway?

Getting his will signed.

Guv, this is Liam Donnelly.

He's the rspca inspector
who found the body.

He was a friend of Dorothy's.

There'd been a lot of complaints

about the cats from
the bloke next door.

So I'd been helping her
bring down the population.

Liam thinks the
death was suspicious.

When the door was kicked
in all the cats came flying out.

And that's when we realised

what had happened
to poor Dorothy.

It's very tragic, but
it's not suspicious.

No wait, the reason she
got so many complaints

was because she
let those cats run wild.

She let them run
all over the place.

She always left the kitchen
window open for them.

But that day the
kitchen window was shut.

There was just no
way for them to get out.

That's why they
did what they did.

Someone must have
shut that window.

To delay the body being found.

I told this to the police,
but they weren't interested.

Yes well, thanks Liam
thanks for coming in.

Don't worry, we're
going to look into all this.

Jack, a word.

It's not enough.

Dr lau performed the
autopsy on Dorothy

and he's gonna take
us through his findings.

You said you wanted
more evidence.

No, I wanted you
to drop the case.

Have I had a wasted journey?

Yes.

Not at all, and thank
you for your time, doctor.

Right.

I concentrated on time
and cause of death.

Oh, poor old bugger.

The first was fairly
straightforward.

There was considerable
insect infestation.

The fatter the maggots,

the longer they'd
been on the corpse.

She died sometime on the 9th,

two weeks before she was found.

And only a day after
she was last seen alive.

Cause was more problematic.

Given her age, my usual
hypothesis would have been

she died of untreated pneumonia.

But there was nothing in her

recent medical
history to suggest it.

Her toxicology screen
ruled out poisoning.

And there were no broken bones,

so I didn't think
she was beaten.

So she wasn't murdered, then?

No, I didn't say that.

I'd only ruled out beating
and poisoning so far.

There's more than
one way to skin a cat.

Luckily, her feline friends
hadn't got as far as the brain,

so I cracked her skull
and I found haemorrhaging

in the bony part
of her inner ear.

It's an indicator
of asphyxiation.

So she was suffocated.

Maybe, we couldn't look
for the other indicators.

But you suspect foul play?

Suspect, yes.

Prove, no.

It's too speculative.

You can say that about any case.

It's all speculation until we
prove otherwise, am I right?

Old people die, Jack.

And I know you
don't want to hear this,

but sometimes they
pass away unnoticed.

Sandra!

- No bowls!
- What?

At the crime scene.

If you have a pet,
you always leave out

bowls of food and water.

Dorothy had over 30 cats,
there'd be bowls everywhere.

So what?

Doctor lau said that
the cats had eaten

most of the physical evidence.

Maybe somebody
was banking on that.

Which is why the kitchen
window was locked.

No food, no way out,
nature had to take its course.

This was a murder.

Expensive cats' home.

Yeah, that's gotta be
one and a half, two million.

Depending on the state
of it structurally, of course.

You can check for damp
when we get in, Gerry.

Morning.

Hello.

Jonathan, thank you for coming.

I wasn't looking
forward to explaining

the ins and outs to the family.

It's very straightforward,
they can't carve up the spoils

until our investigation
is complete.

Yes, that all sounds
perfectly reasonable to me.

I'm not sure the hepple family

will be quite so
laid back about it all.

Are they inside?

Actually they're in
the middle of a funeral.

Sorry?

For the cat, shall we?

[Upbeat music]

What the hell is that?

That will be the
neighbour, Tim cuswell.

Dorothy had a few problems
with him over the years.

I'll go and have a word.

I'd rather not go into
the cat house, anyway.

Why not?

I'm allergic.

- [Upbeat music]
- Hello, mr cuswell?

My, my, that's a lot
of noise for a little dog.

Trueman, trueman, that's enough!

I'm sorry, it's a private party.

Yes, a very loud one.

Could you just...

No I couldn't, I'm celebrating.

And I don't care
what anyone says!

Who are you, anyway?

One of hepple's lackeys?

No, my name's Brian Lane.

I'm part of a
police investigation

into the death of
Dorothy hepple.

Why didn't you say
that in the first place?

Come in.

Ah, that's better.

Dorothy even planned the
flowers, white chrysanthemums only.

Just so you know, the
couple are Caroline,

that's Dorothy's niece,
and her husband Peter.

Harry you know,

that chap there is Dale
hewson, the cat-sitter.

So, this is quite a party.

It's a celebration for
me getting my life back.

Every last one of those
murdering moggies

is in the ground.

And we couldn't be
happier, could we trueman?

I understand you and
Dorothy didn't get along.

I loathed the woman.

I did mention I'm part
of a murder investigation.

Oh I didn't kill her,
I wanted to though.

Why?

Stay where you are.

Excuse me, what
are you doing here?

Harry, who are these people?

Detective
superintendent Pullman.

I'll be heading up an
investigation into your aunt's death.

I'm sorry, until that's happened

all her assets will be frozen.

What, I've got a house to
put on the market and sell.

Oh, for goodness' sake.

She couldn't have been that bad.

Have you ever
wakened to find your lawn

covered in cat muck?

Pigeon guts on you doorstep

have you ever been kept awake

by the shrieking
of copulating cats?

And it's not just now and
then, it was every miserable day.

I get your point.

And every day
there were more cats.

I kept hoping that
she would be too old

to go out searching for strays.

But, then her bloody niece

started bringing
them round for her.

It just never stopped.

It's all there every
scratched fence post,

every plant that they've
dug up, every fouling incident.

So I see.

And the notes.

Mrs hepple used to love
firing off her little notes.

Don't be fooled by
the nice handwriting.

Some of them were quite rude.

Did you never
think about moving?

The house was on the market
for two years with no offers.

The bottom line is,

would you want to live
next door to a cat's home?

[Soft music]

Now this must have
been where she was found.

You really shouldn't be in here.

I'm sorry. We're just looking.

I've kept this room
just how Dorothy liked it.

All her little knick-knacks
and whatnots.

Yeah, nice.

It's all rubbish, really,
not worth a penny.

But Dorothy loved them.

Not that that means
anything to that lot out there.

All this would be in a
skip if they had their way.

I'm sorry, excuse me.

The final straw was when
boycott was murdered.

There's a file about it

The vet took the picture.

My god!

One minute he was
playing happily in the garden

and the next, blood everywhere.

He'd been clawed to death.

By Dorothy's cats?

You must have been devastated.

Incandescent.

I tried to have it out with her.

I banged on the door, I
shouted through the letterbox.

But there was no answer.

If it's all right with you,

I'd like to hang on
to these for evidence.

Do you want the
physical evidence too?

- It's all dated.
- It's poo.

Every pile of cat dropping

I've found on my lawn
over the last ten years.

Very graphic.

Aren't you going to take it?

Not just yet, don't want
it thawing out, do we?

Good thinking.

How much longer are
we expected to wait?

You've no idea what
we've been through.

Particularly my wife.

It's disgusting.

No, you're all disgusting.

Dorothy wouldn't have
wanted all this carry-on.

Despite her death, Dale
always seems to know

what my aunt would have
wanted, it's an amazing talent.

Someone has to
protect her interests.

We all know whose
interests you're looking out for.

That's enough Harry,
haven't you realised

they think one of us
killed aunt Dorothy.

She didn't die in her
sleep like we all thought.

She was murdered,
someone killed her.

Rubbish.

- Harry.
- Leave him.

You know what
he's like, come on.

How'd they take it?

Over the moon.

- Heel, heel!
- [Upbeat music]

Now, scampi, listen, this is
your last chance with Esther.

So come on,
let's get this right.

Are you listening to
me, now stay, stay.

Stay.

Stay, oh scampi, bloody hell!

Heel, come on, heel!

Heel!

I think he's got add,
attention deficit disorder.

Rubbish.

No, I mean it, he's
got all the signs.

Then maybe it's time we
admit that he's too much for us.

And give him to somebody
who can cope with him.

Meaning I can't cope?

Look at the state of you.

He's got problems, Esther yes.

That doesn't mean
we've just got to dump him.

If he goes, I go.

How did that old geezer...

Morning!

I got him to through
fax all the paperwork

on Dorothy's will.

During the last 12
months of her life,

she re-drafted it six times.

Crikey, do we know why?

No, seemed to depend on
who was flavour of the month.

One was in favour of
Caroline, one for Harry,

one split between
the two of them.

But then two weeks before
she died, the cats got lucky.

No wonder Caroline
and Harry were pissed off.

A fortnight earlier they
would have been in the money.

Look at this.

It's a cat.

Do you know why their
tongues are all rough?

Because they're
covered in sharp points,

for stripping meat from bones.

Fascinating.

They've also got
teeth that are designed

for cutting and shredding.

And retractable claws
for pinning down prey.

And people keep them as pets.

Any of that relevant, Brian?

Yes, know thy enemy.

Look, Dale was the only one
who ever listened to Dorothy.

He knew everything
that was going on,

I'd like to question him.

Ok, and whilst you do,
find out where he was

whilst Dorothy was lying dead,

'cause that's the bit that
gets me, where were they all?

Jerry you and I had
better go and interview

the loving niece and nephew
find out if they had any alibis.

Mr hepple.

Excuse me, what do
you think you're doing?

Coming to see you.

At my place of
work, I don't think so.

Make it quick, the
markets are about to open.

Where were you for the two weeks

before your aunt's
body was found?

In Singapore, on business.

Can you prove that?

How, it was over ten years ago.

What about company
records, when did you fly out?

I can't remember.

Was it before or after
Sunday 9th February?

I don't know, I'll check, ok?

Now, are we done?

I hope you're giving Dale
the third-degree as well,

and not buying his
mincing little act.

Did you always
resent him so much?

I couldn't talk to Dorothy
without him being there.

What did you want
to talk to her about?

Family business.

The will?

We heard that she
was making changes.

But it was her money.

It was family money, and it
should have stayed that way.

I don't care if that
sounds mercenary.

In my job you learn not
to be ashamed of money.

Or the desire for it.

Tosser!

♪ I dream my dreams away! ♪

Let's do a bit
better on this one.

♪ Any time you're lambeth
way, any evening, any day ♪

♪ you'll find us all ♪

Get ready!

♪ Doing the lambeth walk ♪

♪ every evening, every day ♪

I want everybody to join
in, and I mean everybody!

♪ You'll find us all ♪

♪ doing the lambeth walk, oi! ♪

We're your last
customers, Doris love,

get yourself home,
put your feet up.

Thanks, Dale.

Thank you.

So, where were you at
the time of the murder?

Fuengirola, I've been
going there for years.

I need a bit of winter
sunshine come February

so I book the same
fortnight every year.

I flew out on the
Sunday morning.

- The 9th?
- If you say so.

You know, I very
nearly didn't go.

Deep down, I knew I'd
be flying back to tragedy.

Really?

There'd been rows.

Caroline and Harry
had being trying

to browbeat poor Dorothy.

Going on about the will,
well, I wasn't having it.

Nobody cares about
the elderly any more.

That's why I do my bit here.

Well, you're certainly
very well thought of.

I hope so.

I love my singsongs and
pensioners' lunch club.

And my Wednesday whist
drives, you should come.

Thank you.

So you do all this voluntarily?

It's a labour of love.

But how do you
cover your expenses?

The solicitors have
been providing me

with a little allowance
for looking after the cats.

Just enough to cover the bills.

But obviously that's stopped.

So things are a little tight.

But something will
turn up, it always does.

Well, look at the time and I
haven't even packed up yet.

Let me give you a hand.

No need for that.

No, no, no, I insist.

I was spending so much time
humping my equipment around

that they let me
have a cupboard.

That was kind of them.

Just pop it
there, I'll see to it.

Oh, well thanks for your help.

Thanks for your time.

And don't forget Wednesday
whist, you'd be very welcome.

Mr and mrs baker
are not at the pet shop.

Apparently, we can find them
at the London cat extravaganza.

You are joking?

Brilliant, can I come?

You hate cats!

How many times, know thy enemy.

[Upbeat music]

Ladies and gentlemen,
may I remind you

to please keep all aisles
clear of travel cases.

You can't come in
here you're allergic.

It's all right, I've
taken an antihistamine.

Might be a bit sneezy,

but it should prevent a
full respiratory collapse.

That's a comfort.

Don't these people have jobs?

Or lives, for that matter.

I'll catch up with you later.

Ok.

Hello, Caroline.

Oh, what do you want?

Can we have a word?

Now, I'm busy.

Yes, so are we.

Well, I'm sorry, but
the judges are here.

Look please this is Pearl
beauty rising sun's big year.

She's up for best in show, I
just need ten minutes, please.

- Ok.
- Yeah, we'll get a coffee.

If we can find one
without cat hair in it.

[Murmuring]

Bless you.

- Can I help?
- I hope so.

I'm looking for
something for my dog.

It's ok, not everyone's
anti-canine here, how can I help?

Well, it's herbal tablets,

supposed to help with
discipline problems.

I know what you
mean, doggy ritalin.

It's great, it's not licenced
in this country, though.

Never mind, thanks anyway.

I've got a contact who
might be able to help.

Oh, yeah?

Give me a call
tomorrow, I'll sort you out.

Thanks, Peter.

See you soon.

- Well done, rameses.
- You're such a star.

- You won.
- Came 2nd.

Oh dear, I'm sorry darling.

I really thought we'd
done enough this time.

There's always next year.

Well if you're over your
little disappointment,

I wonder if we
might have that talk?

Yes, what do you need to know?

We've spoken to Harry.

Now he says he
was away on business

at the time of
your aunt's death.

Probably, he was always
jetting off somewhere.

The only time we saw each
other was at aunt Dorothy's.

And then he'd always
be snapping at Dale

or moaning about all the cats.

You see what I don't
understand Caroline,

is why it took two
weeks to discover her.

Why didn't you go and visit her?

We had an argument.

About the will?

No, about me.

She resented our relationship.

Why?

She just kept sniping at me,

saying I wouldn't
amount to anything.

I lost my Patience one day

I told her I never
wanted to see her again.

I didn't know that that's
exactly what would happen.

She could be so unreasonable.

But she didn't
deserve to die all alone.

She pushed everybody away,

it's not your fault, sweetheart.

She even sacked Dale.

[Ominous music]

If Dale really had been working

on getting his feet
under Dorothy's table,

then he wouldn't have been
very pleased when she gave him

the push just before
his holidays would he.

No well, he'd have the motive,
but what about opportunity?

He was catching
a flight, remember?

Is that your best card?

Oh, sorry, I wasn't
concentrating.

Thank you very much.

Dale had a key so he could
have killed her at any time.

Perhaps on his
way to the airport.

Then all he had to work
on for the next two weeks

was his tan and his alibi.

That wouldn't have
been an impulse killing

because he'd been sacked.

Be more your well
organised, cold-blooded job.

Well maybe he had
it planned all along.

He'd got her to change the will.

Now all he had to
do was bump her off.

It would be very hard to prove.

Perhaps...

Thank you very much indeed.

That's another hand
to Brian and myself.

Yay!

Excuse me could someone tell
me, why are we playing whist?

It's an old woman's game.

Which makes it highly
appropriate from where I'm sitting.

I just wanted to remind
myself of the rules.

It's a good game,
nice and gentle.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Have you asked him yet?

Asked him what?

Who he's leaving it all to.

No!

I don't know, could be the
widow and orphans' fund

for all I care, he hasn't
got any family, has he?

No, but what if his
circumstances have changed?

How do you mean?

A woman.

Bollocks!

Don't be so bloody stupid!

Now there's a sight to
gladden a man's heart.

I am not in the mood,
your dog's been at it again.

He's had everything
out of the kitchen bin

all over the floor.

Oh, scampi, why do you do it?

Maybe he smelt bacon
rind after breakfast.

Well, he must have
been hungry then.

Hungry, the way you spoil him?

He's going to have to go.

I've seen that woman again.

She's desperate
for a nice family pet.

It's for his own good.

Rubbish!

You've had it in for my dog
ever since Gerry gave him to me.

Oh, he's your dog, is he?

He's our dog whenever
his mess needs cleaning up.

Hang on we didn't have bacon
for breakfast, we had muesli.

And anyway, you always
throw the rind out for the birds.

Excuse me, you're
not at work now.

You put it there
deliberately, didn't you?

I know a fit-up when I see one.

I'm ashamed of you, Esther.

Well, what am I supposed
to do, he's running us ragged.

When are you going to
realise we're too old for all this?

Don't say that, don't
you dare say that!

No.

I daren't leave
him alone with her.

She's a desperate woman.

So will I be if you bring
that bloody dog in here.

If it's not house-trained,
then it's not office-friendly.

Gerry hurry up, I want to
talk to Harry hepple at home.

Yeah all right, where's
Jack this morning?

He's gone to see
someone called Betty.

Has he?

Ooh, I like his style.

On the job while on the job, I
told you there was a woman.

She's helping him
with his enquiries.

You're gonna have to stop
obsessing about Jack's will,

it's obviously a
very sensitive issue.

I don't see why.

How about I give you the
third degree about your will?

My arrangements are very simple.

Oh yes, leaving it
all to a good cause?

Listen, when you've
got three ex-wives

and a bunch of kids,
you are the good cause.

Come on!

Well let me drive, 'cos
we're gonna get there

a lot quicker, aren't we?

Not necessarily...

Hello, what are you doing here?

One of your chaps called
me in, I don't know what for.

Which chap?

Good you're here,
now in you come.

- Brian Lane.
- Brian.

He's helping me
with my enquiries.

What enquiries?

You'll see, I've had an idea.

I hate it when he has ideas,
makes me very nervous.

I want to talk to you about
your specialist subject, cats.

Ok.

Now, Dorothy had over 30
cats stuffed into that house.

Do you think they could
have turned violent en masse?

You mean like a hunting pack?

That's it.

No, not really.

Let me show you something.

His owner reckons he
was attacked by cats.

No, a cat didn't kill this dog.

So what did?

I'm not sure.

Judging by the wounds,
I'd say a large dog.

Certainly as big as a doberman,

but definitely not a
common or garden moggie.

[Woman] Yes.

Hello, could we speak
to Harry hepple, please?

[Woman] Oh, for god's sakes!

I'm not going to
tell you lot again.

Harry hepple doesn't
live here any more.

If one more bloody
bailiff comes to this door.

We're not bailiffs, i'm detective
superintendent Pullman,

this is Gerry standing.

Harry hepple told
us he lived here.

Told you, the man
that ruined my life.

Thanks to him this address
is a credit black spot.

Ten years I've been
here and I still get

a couple of calls a week
from people looking for him.

If you know how
to get hold of him...

Could you tell us
where we could find...

Er... guv'nor?

Thank you.

What can I get you?

A latte and an
explanation, please.

I was let go from the bank
at the beginning of '95.

What for?

I'd had a pretty meteoric rise.

But the higher you get, the
harder it is to keep excelling.

The hours get longer,
the pressure gets higher,

targets unobtainable,
I burned out.

Everything started to slip.

When I got called in to see the
boss I knew what was coming.

Why didn't you tell anyone?

Because I still thought I
could stage a comeback.

Even when my phone
was being cut off,

my house was being repossessed.

It wasn't until I
came home to find

the locks had been changed...

That's what pushed
me over the edge.

You had a nervous breakdown.

Where were you when you were
supposed to be in Singapore?

Milford grange psychiatric
hospital under heavy sedation.

Which means I could
barely get out of bed,

let alone murder my aunt.

Why didn't you
tell us this before?

I was too ashamed.

So ashamed that you'd
rather be thought of

as a suspect than
let anyone know?

You don't understand.

If you work in finance, you
see plenty of people go under.

You just never think
it's going to be you,

that you could be so weak.

You weren't weak, you were ill.

The only weak thing you
did was not talk to your family.

You should tell them
what you've been through,

especially Caroline.

It's lovely to have a visitor.

We don't get many these days.

Lillian, this is mr halford,
he's friends with Dale.

He wants to ask some questions.

That's probably as much
as we'll get from her today.

So how long have
you ladies known Dale?

Ages, everyone knows Dale.

How long has he
been coming here?

I suppose since
lil had her stroke.

He's been a rock, he really has.

And he won't take anything
for his trouble either.

You offered him money?

Of course I did.

Even if it was to
pay for his petrol

when he's been running me
around, wouldn't take a penny.

But I've got a plan.

Oh, really?

That'll be him now.

Only me!

Look at this, a party.

Now I've just been
telling your friend

that you are a
naughty boy, Dale.

Really?

I've been telling him how
I keep offering money,

and you keep insulting
me by turning it down.

And as I've told you
before, it's me that's insulted.

Well, I've decided something.

I want you to take
the breakfast set.

Breakfast set?

Dale admired it the
first day he came.

His old mum used
to have one just like it.

It brought back lovely
memories seeing it.

But I really can't accept it.

Of course you can,
can't he, Lillian?

Well, if you absolutely insist.

Come on, let's get a box.

[Upbeat music]

Keep a lookout.

[Grunting]

Very nice.

Bloody hell!

Well what am I
supposed to do with it?

- Sorry mate, sorry.
- Thanks a bunch, mate!

Hi there, do you often
do business around here?

I've got the shop, but
there's certain items

I don't like to keep
there, there you go.

Oh, at, hang on,
the instructions are...

In Spanish, that's
ok I got a translation.

Just give one to your dog
every night after his tea.

Smashing.

So, what do I owe you?

50 quid.

How much?

Well, they are imported.

There we go 50 quid.

So if I want anything else,
you'd be the bloke to see?

You've got my number.

What's in the box?

Nothing.

Do you have other
animal interests?

Depends.

- Have a look at this.
- [Ominous music]

Oh it's lovely.

It's going begging.

It was for that bloke
but he changed his mind

when he realised it
needed looking after.

No?

That wouldn't be a
problem for you, would it?

You go the extra
mile for your pets.

Well...

So what do you think?

Go on, I'll take it.

Excellent, that'll
be 200 quid, please.

- What?
- 150.

I thought I was
doing you a favour.

How much have you got?

- 80.
- Done.

Lost something?

Don't you need a
search warrant to do this?

That or permission from
the owner of the building.

And as you don't own
the community centre...

Look, I'm not a
thief, these are gifts.

You've seen it with your
own eyes, mr halford.

All I've seen is a
thieving little toerag

who worms his way
into old ladies' lives,

so that he can help himself
to anything he fancies.

Do you know how much
this breakfast set is worth?

I've no idea.

Of course you have,
don't give me that.

It's Clarice cliff from the '20s

complete set, good condition,

Betty must have looked after it.

How much?

In auction I'd be looking

for at least three
grand, maybe four.

Think what Betty and Lillian
could have done with that.

Well, if they're stupid enough.

You bastard.

Oh, save it you can't arrest
me, I haven't broken the law.

My ladies handed
over their stuff

with smiles on their faces.

Dorothy was different, though.

She was the big one, wasn't
she, she must have been.

You spent months making
yourself indispensable.

So you put all that
work in and then

just at the crucial moment
Dorothy sacked you.

That must have made you crazy.

She didn't even write
me one of her little notes.

Instead she sent
round toady little Peter

to do her dirty work!

Peter baker?

He told me my services
were no longer needed

and refused to say why.

So I thought, sod it!
I'll drown my sorrows

in Spanish Brandy
and suntan lotion."

And you didn't stop on the
way and have it out with her?

I was going to sort it
out when I got back.

Go round with a straw
donkey and an apology.

That would have been enough?

It always had been before.

You've seen me work,
and it is bloody hard work!

Listening to the old
dears banging on about

rationing and mangles!

Handing out the
hankies when they get all

sniffley about
their dear departed.

It'd be easier to smack
'em over the head,

but that's just not what I do.

Now, if that's it, I've
got a whist drive to run.

I don't think you have.

No wonder Dorothy
preferred cats to people.

She was surrounded
by liars, Dale, Harry.

Yeah but neither of
them were murderers.

Yeah well, we're
not finished yet.

There's still Caroline,
Peter, we'll get there.

And then you'll have
to find another excuse.

For what?

Come on Jack, for
not signing your will.

- Why are you putting it off?
- [Ominous music]

Well, I'm certainly not planning

to leave it all to
my new girlfriend.

Oh, you heard?

Anyway, it's none
of our business.

When Mary died,

there seemed to be nothing
to do except paperwork.

I had to take her
name off everything,

joint accounts, bills,
deeds, insurance...

Oh, it just went on.

And now the only thing left
with her name on is my will.

When I sign the new
one, I'll sign her away.

Come on, buy me a drink!

Listen to this, Tim cuswell's
incident log from the 8th.

10:14, Peter baker arrives

and parks in the street
blocking access to my drive.

10:32pm, Peter baker departs
after excessive engine-revving.

So what's Peter baker up to?

Everyone needs a
hobby, mine is smoking.

[Upbeat music]

- Just popping out, guv'nor.
- Your funeral.

Brian!

What's that?

Phelsuma
madagascariensis grandis.

A giant Madagascar day
gecko, she's called boudicca.

And should it be here?

Well, no, as the name
suggests she should be in the

humid environs of
the Madagascar jungle.

Then what's it doing on my desk?

Well, she needs
constant temperature.

And our office
is full of draughts.

How does it feel about water?

I mean, can it swim?

Do you know, I've no idea.

Why don't we find out?

I'm just about to
go to the ladies'.

You can't do
that, it's evidence.

Well then, maybe
we should bag her up.

Oh, look, you've frightened
her, coo-ee, good girl.

Is that you, Brian?

Yes it is, love, but
I'm not stopping.

Now listen, this
is just temporary.

I'm putting dinner on
the table in a minute.

I won't be long.

Listen, can you give scampi
one of these with his tea?

I'll see you.

Bri...

[Soft music]

He said he'd cracked the case

and could we meet him
here with an open mind.

An open mind, now
I'm really worried.

- Morning.
- Morning!

I'm glad you could make it.

Look, can we just get on?

So...

We've ruled out Harry
and Dale as suspects.

Leaving cuswell, Peter
and Caroline, we know that.

Just get to the point.

Right, now as we know,
the day after Dorothy died,

cuswell's dog
boycott was attacked.

By the cats.

No, actually, by a large
unidentified mammal,

and our new suspect.

- He's gone again.
- Obviously.

Now, the day before
Dorothy died mr cuswell

logged three separate
visits from Peter baker,

on his own.

I thought Dorothy loathed Peter.

Why would he come
here on his own?

Well not just for a
visit, that's for sure.

On each separate occasion
he was seen to unload

certain items into this shed.

Come and have a look.

Here this sound-proofed
and fortified shed.

- Bless you!
- Thank you.

Now look at this
wall and this door.

Good lord!

Peter baker's always
bragging about his contacts.

And how he can get
hold of anything pet-wise.

So how about a big cat,
say a lynx or an ocelot.

You're joking.

I've never been more serious.

Exotic animals are big money.

I think Peter went
for the the big payday.

And realised he'd bitten
off more than he could chew.

'Cause the cat escaped,

and took a lump out
of boycott as he went.

What do you think?

I think the cps will
laugh me out of a job

if I bring this to them.

It's all perfectly logical.

Physical evidence, Brian.

Good, I knew it
would come in handy.

Why does it have to be my desk?

Put some newspaper down.

How long was he
collecting these for?

Years, look at the labels.

Wait!

We're only interested in
the ones from February '96.

Oh well, that's
something, I suppose.

Are you sure you
can tell the difference?

When you've stepped in

as many of these as I
have, yeah you know.

Right, here we go.

Yeah, that's a
cat, domestic cat.

Here's a cat that needed
more roughage in its diet.

Cat.

Hello, well that's
neither cat nor fox.

And I'm pretty
certain it's not a dog.

I'd have to send it to the lab

to be more specific
than that but

I think we've got a winner here.

Peter baker, I'm arresting
you under suspicion...

Peter, Peter, what's going on?

What's happening?

It's locked.

Come on Peter, you're not
doing yourself any favours.

[Birds chirping]

What's he doing?

Ok!

Stay with her.

Peter baker!

I'm arresting you
under suspicion

of the murder of Dorothy hepple.

You do not have to say anything
but it may harm your defence

if you do not mention
when questioned

something you
later rely on in court.

Anything you do say
may be taken in evidence.

Peter?

I'm sorry, Caroline.

I didn't realise how
strong it would be

or the noise it would make,

I only ever brought
in small animals.

When it woke up in
the shed it went mental,

throwing itself
against the walls.

Is that when Dorothy came out?

I was trying to
hold the door shut

when she surprised
me, next thing it was out.

It knocked her to the ground.

She was screaming at me,
someone was gonna hear.

You only had to cough and
cuswell was around, complaining.

I put my hands over her mouth
and eventually she went quiet.

Yeah, 'cause she was dead.

It was an accident.

No, no, it ceased
to be an accident

the moment you decided
to cover your tracks

by dragging Dorothy into
the house leaving the cats...

No, that was my idea.

Don't listen to
her, it was my fault.

But that's not true.

It was me that
got the cats inside

and shut the kitchen window.

It was me that locked the
door and drew the curtains.

I didn't want to be alone again.

And if Peter had admitted
that that's what he'd done,

they'd have taken
him away from me.

We didn't do it for the
house or for the money.

We did it so we
could stay together.

[Soft music]

That was Liam.

The lab confirmed that the
scat sample was from a big cat.

He sounded quite excited.

Of course, they've
been trying to prove

the existence of the
UK big cat for years.

We've just given
them the evidence.

No, you did.

That was an amazing bit of
detective work Brian, well done.

Oh, any of you could
have put it together.

No, we're sane.

So who do you reckon is gonna
get the hepple fortune now?

None of them hopefully,
they're all liars and cheats.

Just a normal family, then.

Right, who's ready for a drink?

You'd better count me out.

I've got an appointment
with Jonathan blunt.

Are you going to sign?

Yeah, I think so.

Do you want a witness
to make sure you do?

No thank you anyway,
beneficiaries can't be witnesses.

- [Screaming]
- [Upbeat music]

Brian!

Esther!

What you doing?

I lifted the towel
and that was...

Oh, no!

Don't panic.

Is it poisonous?

I don't know, it's probably
just somebody's pet.

I don't care what it
is, just get rid of it!

Get rid of it, get rid of it!

Scampi, here!

And as for you, murderer.

♪ It's all right, it's ok ♪

♪ doesn't really matter
if you're old and grey ♪

♪ it's all right,
I say, it's ok ♪

♪ listen to what I say ♪

♪ it's all right, doing fine ♪

♪ doesn't really matter
if the sun don't shine ♪

♪ it's all right,
I say, it's ok ♪

♪ we're getting to
the end of the day ♪

♪ high tech, low
tech, take your pick ♪

♪ 'cause you can't teach an
old dog a brand-new trick ♪

♪ I don't care what
anybody says ♪

♪ at the end of the day ♪

[Upbeat music]