All language subtitles for New.Tricks.S03E03.Old.Dogs.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_Track03

Now, we've gotta
be ruthless, scruffy.

Esther wants
this clutter halved.

So come on, let's crack on.

Now, right,

chest expanders.

Hey hey!

[Brian grunts]

[Metal clatters]

[Car whirring]

And now it's Brian Lane,

going for his third
world championship.

How's it going?

You've been out here ages.

Oh, Brian!

I'm so glad you got
me to do this, you know.

I'd forgotten I had
half of this stuff.

You're not gonna keep all-

[cheerful music]

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

♪ doesn't really matter
if you're old and grey ♪

♪ it's all right, I say ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

♪ listen to what I say ♪

♪ it's all right, doing fine ♪

♪ doesn't really matter
if the sun don't shine ♪

♪ it's all right, I say ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

♪ we're getting to
the end of the day ♪

[Siren wailing]

[Solemn music]

In the late 1970s,

there was a serial killer on
the loose in south London.

Pattern of the killings had
all the classic hallmarks

of a psychopath.

There was a particular mo,

and the victims all seemed
to be chosen at random.

The only difference in the
norm was, they were all dogs.

Oh yes [coughs] I
remember the fuss.

Yeah, well, another
dog last night

was found with the same mo

in the bushes on
hampstead Heath,

which makes three killings
in the last two weeks.

So it's a current investigation?

Yeah, based on original files.

[Scoffs] They're having
a laugh, en't they?

I mean, I was a junior
detective at the time,

and I worked on
some of those cases.

It was a total bloody nightmare.

Yeah, well, you
can tell us all about it

at the venue.

The top brass must think
you've got some special insight

into killing dogs.

Just give me the facts, Gerry.

Well, actually it's very
much like the original case.

The killer started with
nasty dogs, like pit bulls,

so nobody took much notice.

When did the headlines start?

Well, when he moved on to
nice dogs with nice owners,

yeah, the press went berserk.

It's the same old story, innit?

The great British
public care more

about animals than people.

That's why it's
the royal society

for the prevention
of cruelty to animals,

and only the national society

for the prevention
of cruelty to children.

Anyway, the killings logged up,

the police were caned
from pillar to post

and every department in
the met was diving for cover.

Apart from your lot?

Yeah, the press were
all over us like a rash.

We had to drop everything,

that's murder, rape, burglary,

just so we could
scour all the parks

looking for some
bleeding dog killer.

Did you ever come close?

No, no, and then just as
suddenly as they started,

the killings stopped.

[Jack] Well, what do you think?

Well, I'll need to go back
over the original files,

but it looks like
the same mo to me.

Yep.

How did anybody do that
to a poor innocent animal?

So it's been a long time,
Jack, how are you doing?

Ah, I can't complain.

Touch of arthritis
in the old knee.

Well, at your age-

and I've got my
arrhythmia, of course.

And I'm getting this
funny tickle in my chest-

then you see a
doctor, Jack, not a vet.

What can you tell us?

Well, not so much, I'm afraid.

I think it was a pit
bull doberman cross,

maybe a bit of staff in there,

and all the major organs,
other than the heart,

have been removed.

Same mo, then.

So the killer would
have been spattered

with blood, Gore?

Oh no, not necessarily.

These organs were taken
after death, not before.

How taken?

Well, it's very neat job.

Textbook mortuary incision.

I couldn't have
done it better myself.

[Curious music]

Well, 30 odd years ago,
there was no weapon,

no forensics and no witnesses.

The only leads we
could come up with,

all had collars on them.

Oh!

Now, the original investigation

just put one name in the frame.

John Fletcher, a weirdo
who worked in the meat trade.

You mean like a butcher?

No, I mean like a
slaughterman in an abattoir.

Doesn't necessarily
make him a psychopath.

With teenage convictions
for cruelty to animals.

Dogs?

Cats.

It's a classic profile.

And I tell you something
else about psychopaths.

They might begin with animals,

but they nearly always
move on to humans in the end.

Well, we couldn't
make anything stick.

Well, why don't you go and see

if you can make a
better job of this time?

Yes, ma'am.

Mr. Fletcher?

[Fletcher grunts]

Gerry standing, Brian Lane
from the unsolved crime squad.

What do you want?

A dog was killed on hampstead
Heath, day before yesterday.

So one down, five million to go.

What?

- Have you got a dog?
- Yeah.

Then I'm not talking to
you, forget pooper scoopers,

I'd make the bloody
owners lick it up.

Have you got dog too?

-No, I never really- -fine.

What do you wanna know?

Where were you between 9
P.M. and 11 on Wednesday night?

At home, alone, on the net.

All right, what about
Tuesday the 21st,

when a rottweiler was killed?

Will you make him stop
looking at me like that?

Like what?

Like he hates me.

Perhaps I'm strangely prejudiced

against people who
don't like animals.

Perhaps I'm prejudiced
against people

who don't like people.

So you approve
of these killings?

I neither condemn
nor condone them,

but I can understand
the reasons behind them.

What reasons?

Well, apart from the fact that

canines harbour 15 different
serious diseases, you mean?

Well, did you know that the
money this country spends

on dogs would give every
child in Africa their vaccinations

and provide their family with
clean and safe drinking water?

He agrees with me.

I what?

Your mutt must cost you, what?

1500 pounds a year?

How much you give
to charities like oxfam

and save the children?

I do me bit.

What do you get in return?

A slathering, fawning
slave who encourages

all your worst
fascistic tendencies.

[Scoffs] I'm the fascist?

If it's any consolation,
I don't like cats, either.

No, I know.

But look, look, you're
obviously an educated man.

Why'd you work in an abattoir?

'Cause I enjoy it.

[Creepy music]

[Sandra] Mr. James farlow?

Yes?

Hello, I'm detective
superintendent Pullman,

this is Jack halford, thank
you for agreeing to see us.

I can't believe this
has started again.

Do come in, please.

Thanks very much.

Do come through,

oh, I'm sorry about the mess.

[Jack] Oh,
something smells nice.

Ah, you've been to the arctic?

Antarctic, I was an
animal welfare officer

on one of the survey teams.

But you were the
canine society field officer

at the time of the
original dog killings, yes?

That's right, do sit down.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Yes, I used to go out on patrol

and investigate any
reports of canine cruelty

that were phoned through to us.

And you were the
first to raise the alarm?

I tried to, but neither the
police nor the authorities

took me seriously, thought I
was some sort of animal crank.

That must've changed, though?

Oh yes, once the
killings hit the press,

it was mass hysteria.

Why do you think they stopped?

I don't know, maybe it
became too dangerous

for the killer.

By the end, there
were police everywhere

and people had stopped
walking their dogs anyway.

Why do you think he
moved on to family pets?

I don't know.

If he stuck to pit
bulls and rottweilers,

no one would have bothered.

I think he wanted to send
out some sort of message.

What kind of message?

Have you ever heard of
the human liberation front?

[Intriguing music]

Sandra!

What?

The human liberation front.

It was a shadowy organisation
set up in the mid 1970s

to oppose the growing
animal rights movement.

Still around?

No, they folded in 1979.

Ah, just before the
dog killings started.

Membership was secret.

But guess who their
press officer was?

John Fletcher.

The very same.

And he calls me a fascist!

All right, Brian, you
stay with Fletcher.

Gerry, Jack, I'd like
you to go up to the Heath

and talk to anyone who
uses the park regularly.

[Jack] Okay.

Here, Brian, look,

one dog year equals
seven human years, right?

Once their fully grown.

I've just been
looking at the victims

of the original investigation.

Look at this, 13
year old pit bull,

11 year old mastiff,
12 year old ridgeback,

13 year old doberman.

Oh, cheers.

What I'm saying is, these
dogs are practically geriatric.

I mean, what's so
special about old dogs?

See you later.

Right, brass Phillips,
brass Phillips,

brass Phillips, silver
standard, no brass standard.

Right, well, new jar of
your very own, in you go.

[Jar clattering]

Oh, sod it!

Come on, scruffy,
let's have a cup of tea.

Ah, hang on, hang on,

put you there, that'll fool her.

[Brian chuckles]

You there.

Come on, scruffy.

Scruffy!

Scruffy?

[Solemn music]

Scruffy?

I think it's how scruffy
would have wanted to go.

I'm gonna need some time off,

you know, for the arrangements.

Yes, of course.

What arrangements?

Well, the funeral and so on.

After the service,
Esther and I thought

we'd scatter scruffy's ashes
at the bottom of the garden.

Under his favourite tree.

Service, as in
remembrance service?

It's not compulsory, you know.

No, I just think-

he means, of course,
we'll all be there.

You take all the
time you need, Brian.

I'll put it down as
compassionate leave.

Thank you.

Just make sure you nail
that bastard, Fletcher.

[Sandra] We will, I promise.

In our day, we never spoke
to the press, did we, Jack?

Yeah, well, we need witnesses.

Oh, down the pub,
over a pint, perhaps,

but never on the record.

For god's sake, it's
not the nationals!

It's just the local rag.

Yeah, first they give the
villains a dopey nickname.

Like the canine crippen.

Yeah, then we get
bombarded by weirdos.

Then they doorstep you.

Well, I'm so glad to see

that you've embraced
modern police methods

so wholeheartedly.

[Press clamouring]

Good morning,
ladies and gentlemen.

I've prepared a short statement.

On Tuesday the 16th of may,

the body of a rottweiler was
found on hampstead Heath.

All its organs had been removed.

I cannot believe we're
going to a dog's funeral.

Just stop whingeing.

Right, now, show a bit of
respect, turn your phones off.

Okay, let's get on with it.

I think dogs get a bad press.

People talk about dogsbodies,

dogs' dinners,

things going to the dogs.

If you're ugly, you're a dog.

If you're mad, you're a dog.

If you're cringing and
pathetic, you're a dog.

Well, as far as i'm
concerned, that's all slander.

[Phone ringing]

Sorry, Gerry, am I boring you?

No, I'm sorry mate, I'm sorry,

no no, you're right.

No, I thought scruffy
was the dog's bollocks, i-

[Sandra coughing]

[Phone beeping]

Bloody hell, Gerry.

If you behaved a
bit more like a dog

and a bit less
like a thick copper,

you might even pass
muster for a human being.

We gotta get out of here.

Yeah, 'cause you've
just embarrassed yourself,

I told you, phones off!

They're trying to
get hold of you.

There's been another dog murder.

Well, it's the same method.

The only difference is,
this time it's not a stray.

Or a pit bull.

It's exactly the same
as the original case.

The killer started
off with vicious dogs,

then moved on to family pets.

Judging by the meat
between the teeth,

this one's a pretty posh one.

It's last meal appears
to have been fillet steak.

That doesn't sound right,

the owner was a single
mum living on benefits.

And again, there's no
weapon, no witnesses.

Any idea how old it was?

13, another old one.

You better check
out Fletcher's alibi.

[Jack coughing]

Jack are you all right?

Yes, I just keep getting
these coughing fits.

If you were a dog, Jack, i'd
be worried about distemper.

[Others chuckle]

But speaking as a vet,

why don't you go to the chemist?

Or doctor?

Or a funeral director.

Well, there's no one more
expert on coffin fits, is there?

[Gerry laughs]

[Exciting music]

Same as last time.

Home alone surfing the net.

Here's a search warrant,
I want your phone records

and hard disc.

Be my guest.

She's new.

Animal lover too, is she?

Ooh yeah, but she
hasn't got a dog.

What happened to
your last oppo then?

Man's best friend's best friend?

Compassionate leave.

Oh, lost someone close, has he?

Yes.

The killer only
chooses old dogs.

Why do you think that is?

Stupidity.

If he really wanted
to make a difference,

he'd start with puppies.

Now, if neither of you
two are gonna arrest me,

I need to speak to a solicitor

about a possible case
of police harassment.

Bloody hell!

Spent years in the murder squad

and never got more
than a few dozen.

Yeah, but four dead
dogs and we're buried.

Look, I mean, letters,
logged calls, emails, texts.

It'll take us weeks to
work through this lot.

What about Fletcher?

Well, his phone
records and his hard disc

do prove that his computer
was logged onto the web,

but doesn't mean to say he
was sitting at the keyboard.

Does it?

And I'd like to see that
James farlow again.

Why?

Well, he might
give us an insight

into why all our
victims are old.

Ah, Mr. Farlow [coughs].

I'm sorry to bother you,

but there's something
I'd like to clear up.

Oh dear, what is it now?

I've told you everything I know.

Yes, I'm sure you have,
it's just a quick question.

It won't take a minute.

This really isn't a very
good time for me, you know.

That's my wife.

I'm sorry, I didn't realise.

They're bringing her
back from the hospital.

Of course, I understand.

Perhaps we could
arrange for another day.

I don't know, she's dying.

Oh, I am sorry.

I do know what it's
like to lose a loved one.

I'll come back later.

No, no. I saw the local
paper and, Claire, my wife,

she'd want me to do
everything I can to help,

could you just go
into the kitchen?

I'll be with you in a minute.

Thank you.

[Melancholy music]

[Sandra] Dog owner number seven.

[Loud knocking]

Hi, Mr. Christie?

- Yeah.
- We're from ucos,

I believe you're expecting us?

This is Gerry standing, i'm-

detective superintendent
Sandra Pullman,

I remember from the papers.

Nice picture.

Thanks.

Please, come in.

Cheers.

Can I get you a glass of wine?

- Ooh!
- Excuse the cliche,

Mr. Christie, but we're on duty.

Tom, and So am I.

- Sorry?
- I'm a wine dealer.

The value wine company.

Yeah, I got a couple of
bottles off your website.

Here, you haven't
gotten any of that 79 Pinot

kicking about, have you?

Ah, no, but I'm just
tasting a white burgundy

that I wouldn't mind
a second opinion on.

Yeah!

Gerry.

Well how can I be on duty?

I'm not a policeman anymore.

So, Mr. Christie-

Tom, please.

You were walking your
dog on hampstead Heath

on the night of the
recent dog murder?

Oh, that's right, yeah.

So what did you see?

Well, nothing much.

When you say nothing much?

Mm, bloody hell!

You like?

[Gerry] Yeah.

Do you get the oak?

Absolutely.

And the gooseberry aftertaste?

Yeah, you know your stuff.

Yeah, well I didn't always,
used to be in haulage.

Continental runs, friends
started asking me to bring back

a couple of cases for them
when I crossed the channel.

I hope you paid the duty?

Oh, always.

Anyway, I started picking up
a couple of bottles for myself,

then I booked a wine tasting
holiday in the loire valley.

Now you're swelling and
spitting with the best of them.

Actually, I found
a bit of a niche

supplying the armed forces.

Even ship a few cases
up to your mob in hendon,

but of course,
those probationers

wouldn't know Pinot from piss,

but you, on the other hand,

I reckon you'd
care about quality.

Right now, all I care about

is what you saw on the Heath.

Well, I told you there's
nothing to report.

Why did you come forward?

Thought you might
wanna use this place

as a surveillance point, the
view from the bedroom upstairs-

mate, you do not
want a load of coppers

tramping through your bedroom.

Don't I?

At first, they thought it was
some kind of brain tumour.

And now?

Well, they just don't know.

But whatever it is, it's
starting to attack her joints.

[Jack coughing]

Tell me, do you
remember anything

about the ages of the
dogs that were killed?

No, why?

Well, we get the
idea that the killer

only chose old dogs,

and we wondered if
you'd noticed anything?

Didn't strike me at the time.

I can't recall any
puppies being killed.

Anyway, what kind of
psychopath could do such things,

to any innocent
creature, young or old?

Now, oh, I'd like
your opinion of this.

There we are, if
you wouldn't mind,

careful, it might be a bit hot.

Oh, cheers.

Now, what do you think?

That's very tasty.

Doesn't need seasoning?

No, no, seems perfect to me.

Perfect [laughs].

Well, then you should have some.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, you're right,
you've got a fantastic view

of the Heath here.

Spend a lot of time watching
your neighbours, do you?

I'm hardly ever here,

that's why you're more
than welcome to set up shop.

Okay.

Thanks, I'll bear it in mind.

You know, I always thought I
might make a good detective.

Is this some kind of
Munchausen by proxy thing,

because surveillance
is just that.

There'll be no car
chases or shootouts.

Glad to hear it, no, it's just,

there's a bit of sleuthing
involved in the wine business.

Really?

All those criminal chardonnays
and elusive merlots.

It's a game I play
with my clients.

What they drink,
how they drink it,

tells you a lot about
their character.

Guvner, you ready to go?

Okay, go on then, impress me.

What's your favourite wine?

Chablis, I drink the
way I dress [laughs].

Seriously.

Well, it would have to
be a good Bordeaux.

Now, you notice the word good,

you know your stuff
and how to treat yourself.

You don't get swayed by fashion.

Do you wanna read
me fortune as well?

Okay, what about me?

I like a nice fizzy lambrusco.

No, you don't.

No, you haven't met
your favourite wine yet.

'Cause no one's had
the class to buy it for you.

Well, I hope it's not expensive,

she drinks it by
the bucket load.

Thank you, Gerry.

I'll be in touch.

Good.

If I need to use your
bedroom for surveillance.

[Intriguing music]

This has just been
delivered for you.

[Sandra] Thank you.

Aren't you gonna open it?

Yes, I am.

In private.

[Romantic music]

[Tom] Dear Sandra,

the thought that you might
actually be knocking back

cheap lambrusco has been
haunting me ever since we met.

Allow me to offer
an alternative.

I think you'll find a new
favourite amongst them.

- Thank you very much.
- Thank you, bye.

Bye bye.

Excuse me, I'm
working for the police.

[Runner] Sorry.

[Gerry] Well, well, well,
look who we have here.

Oh, hello, hello, I
can't take a shortcut

home through the
Heath, now, can I?

You can go anywhere
you like, guvner,

but first can I have
a look in your bag?

Yeah, go on, go
on, take a look, yeah.

[Dramatic music]

I use them for work and
they needed sharpening.

There's nowhere to
sharpen knives in an abattoir?

Of course there is, but I
prefer to use my own whetstone.

Why?

It gets a keener edge.

Do you know how many
spring lambs we killed last week?

500,000, not to
mention 200,000 piglets,

50,000 veal calves and ten
million 59 day old chickens.

But that's all right.

Just as long as
we're nice to dogs.

Listen, those knives you
were carrying are domestic.

So what?

They wouldn't be
used in an abattoir.

Well, they're sharper
than the knives they supply.

Course, health and safety
won't let me use mine,

so I have to sneak them in.

And you expect us to believe

this load of old
cobblers, do you?

[Loud knocking]

Can I see you for a moment?

Excuse us.

They found another dog,

they reckon was killed
about two hours ago.

He's been here
for at least three.

[Gerry] Shit.

[Sandra] How old?

12.

Remember the fillet steak

stuck between the
teeth of the last one?

Well, it turns out this dog
had had the same final meal.

Now, that can't
be a coincidence.

No, so I decided to analyse
it, and the meat was doped.

[Gerry] What with?

Traces of mandrake root.

What's that?

It's a rarely used, but
very powerful, analgesic,

yeah, but it could
still kill them, right?

With a big enough dose, yeah.

So, like a lot of poisons,
mandrake in small quantities

has medicinal properties.

You could look at
it like, I suppose.

You ought to try it for that
cough of yours, kill or cure.

Well, that's pretty much

what the ancient
Egyptians thought.

They used it for
everything, from a cold cure

to an anaesthetic
for serious operations.

Really?

So, we're looking for a
compassionate serial killer.

Compassionate?

Even without an alibi, it
doesn't sound like Fletcher to me.

[Dogs barking]

So what kind of rescue
dog did you have in mind?

I don't care.

White, brown, black,
mongrel, any sort will do.

That's so good to hear, so
many people traipse in here

with a shopping list, as if
we run up dogs to order.

Well, not us.

Any nice puppy will do.

Puppy?

Mm, delicious.

You know, there's something
very nostalgic about beef tea.

That's not surprising,
since no one's drunk it

since my great gran was alive.

[Gerry] Hello.

- Hello, Brian.
- Brian.

How are things?

Bloody awful.

I've been trying to find a
puppy to replace scruffy.

Yes, I can see
that would be hard.

Hard?

It's impossible.

Last place me and Esther went to

had a policy of turning down
anyone over the age of 50.

50?

That's ridiculous.

Tell you, it's easier
to adopt a bloody kid.

So I'm coming back to work.

But you're on a doctor's note.

Yeah, well, I'll sign
meself on again.

Brian, I'm afraid you can't.

It's nothing personal, it's
a health and safety issue,

and the paperwork's
already been filed.

So you don't want me either?

[Sombre music]

Brian, Brian?

What do you know
about mandrake root?

Nothing, except it was sacred

to the Egyptian
dog-headed god, Anubis.

He was the keeper of
the poisons, you know.

No, I didn't know.

Bet John Fletcher knows.

Look, Brian, if it helps,

maybe you shouldn't
think of scruffy as dead,

but as gone to another place.

It doesn't help.

Not one word, I feel
bad enough already.

In that case, I really do need
to see a man about a dog.

Whoa, whoa!

Here, you all right?

Yes, I just felt a bit dizzy.

I must've got up too fast.

Jack, you weren't sitting down.

Oh, whatever.

Oh, thank you,
that's so kind of you,

I can't promise
Claire will notice,

- but do come through.
- Thank you.

The doctor's with her now,
so we've got a few minutes.

No, I haven't come
about the murders,

this is a personal matter,
I can come back later.

[James] No, no, it's fine.

It's just that a friend of
mine recently lost a dog,

and being quite senior himself,

he's having trouble
getting a rescue puppy.

Oh, that's the policy
these days, I'm afraid.

Well, I was hoping you might
be able to pull a few strings

with the canine
protection society.

Oh no, they don't
have a dog pound.

No waifs and strays, I'm afraid.

Oh well, I'm sorry
to have bothered you.

Oh not at all,

and thanks for
the lovely flowers.

Oh, by the way, this
is probably nothing,

but when these
killings first started,

I remembered one of
the owners asking me

to take her dead dog
and remove all his organs.

Really?

Mm, but it wasn't
something we, as a society,

count countenance, of course.

Can you remember
the name of the owner?

No, but her dog
was called osiris.

Osiris, now, oh!

[Dramatic music]

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

I keep getting
these dizzy spells.

Oh, I don't like
the sound of that,

shall I get Claire's doctor to-

oh no no, please, please,
if I could just sit here

and get my breath.

Yes, of course,
I'll get you a drink.

[Jack coughing]

[Sombre music]

You haven't eaten anything.

I'm not hungry.

Well, leave it there,

you might change
your mind later.

I won't.

Why don't we go for a walk,
help you your appetite back?

'Cause I don't want
to go for a walk.

I'll get your paper.

Look, I'll get the paper.

Oh, parking 'round
here's a nightmare.

[Brian] Gerry?

I made copies of the
original files for you to pick at.

Then you can make
a start on these.

All right?

You mean, work on the qt?

No, certainly not.

I can't see how
Sandra could object

to a little light filing.

[Esther] Tea, Gerry?

Ooh, yes please, yeah.

Look, we still don't
know why the killer

moved from strays
to family dogs,

or why he only
clobbers old ones.

I wonder why he
leaves the hearts behind.

Huh, isn't that typical?

They don't give the
cause of death here.

[Esther] Kettle's on.

Or here, bloody amateurs.

What kind of
investigation was it?

Look, he's getting
better by the minute.

Yeah, he's never happy
unless he's moaning,

and even then he's not
best pleased [chuckles].

[Gentle music]

Brian seems a
bit sharp chirpier.

Gerry, do you remember
a dog called osiris

in the original
spate of murders?

It does sound vaguely
familiar, stupid name for a dog.

Well, I've been looking it up-

listen, mate, you've
gotta see someone!

I'm fine.

Osiris is Egyptian,

now the pathologist
said that mandrake root

was used by the
Egyptians, didn't she?

Yeah, yeah.

Coincidence?

No such thing.

Professor styles is an
expert in egyptology,

well, she's curator
of this museum.

And osiris was her dog, yeah?

Fourth victim,
December the 5th, 1979.

Osiris disappeared when
we were out for a walk,

and that was the
last I saw of him,

until they found
his mutilated body.

I can't tell you
how upset I was.

I couldn't sleep for months.

How old was he, professor?

He would have been 13.

That's him, there.

What, that little statue?

That's not a statue, detective,

that's his mummy form.

His what?

On his earthly passing,
osiris was mummified,

so his essence and
his shrunken body

will be preserved
for all eternity.

Do you believe in reincarnation?

No, I believe the
great god Anubis

will guide me to
the life beyond.

So I preserve all his
canine descendants

or at least as many as I can.

I'll show you.

Here we have amut,
who passed on in 1992.

Isis, nefertiti and tutankhamun

you probably passed
in the lower gallery.

Do you mummify
them all yourself?

No, it would be too distressing.

And under UK law, it's
not permitted anyway.

So I have to send
them to america

for the blessings
of the hereafter.

And when you pass on,
you're expecting to join them?

Yes, I have a
provision in my will,

but of course it could be
years before our time comes.

Isn't that right, horus?

Excuse me, but what
are you feeding him?

Fillet steak

what else would you feed a
descendant of a god, detective?

[Brian] So you reckon the
probable cause of death

was this mandrake root?

That would be my
working hypothesis, yeah,

but I can't be absolutely sure
without analysing the liver.

Which isn't there.

Well, could that be the
killer's motive for taking it?

He doesn't want us to
find the cause of death.

It's possible, I suppose.

But in that case, why bother
with the rest of the organs?

He removes everything
apart from the heart.

Spleen, pancreas
lungs, kidneys, the lot.

To begin with, but
in the early cases,

the selection seems random.

But in every instance
he always takes the liver.

Who would want dog liver?

Old dog liver.

How long does it take
for this mandrake root

to have an effect?

Well, that depends on the
size of the dog, of course,

but with a large breed
I'd guess, five minutes?

So the victim was
poisoned somewhere

which is five dog minutes
from here in any direction.

Right.

[Curious music]

So what do you think?

The dogs are anaesthetised
with mandrake root

prior to the removal
of their organs,

which just happens to be
the first step in mummification,

and that certainly puts
professor styles in the frame.

Plus, she'd know all about
the use of mandrake root

- in ancient Egypt.
- Absolutely.

Okay, so she's got the know-how,

but where's the motive?

And why kill your own dog?

Put us off the scent, maybe.

All right, why move
from strays to family pets,

and why choose only old dogs?

No, he's right, it's
all circumstantial.

We haven't got enough
evidence to arrest her.

Yet.

[Curious music]

[Chuckles] I was
just trying to be a dog.

Hey, they only think I'm the
bloody dog killer, don't they?

No, they don't, no they don't,

I just vouched for you.

Here, you can have this back.

Fillet steak, Gerry,

and I bet you anything it's
dosed with mandrake root.

Come on, we'll
go and tell Sandra.

Hold on, have you been
working on the case?

Cor, she'll have
our guts for garters.

She'll know I put you up for it.

I'll just tell her I happened
to be walking on the Heath

and I was passing the
scene of the crime and-

no, no, you leave the
cheating to the man

who's got three ex-wives.

Come on.

So, completely
off your own back,

you decided to borrow
a retired police dog

from the met sanctuary,
and take it down the park?

Yep, make myself a target.

And then tootsie here
noses out a couple of pounds

of prime beef, possibly
laced with mandrake root.

That's right.

Good work.

Yeah, I thought so.

But there's another thing.

What?

Tom, the wine shipper,

you know, the one who
sends all the booze?

Yeah, none of your business.

Well, Tom hasn't got a dog.

What?

Well, think back to when
we were at his house,

did you see a dog basket?

A food bowl, any
leads, hair on the sofa?

No, 'cause he hasn't got a dog,

and the neighbour confirmed it.

All right, I've
never owned a dog.

So why did you say you did?

It wasn't to cause trouble.

Then enlighten me.

I saw you in the paper.

- And?
- I liked what I saw.

Yeah, right, pull the other one.

Do you mind?

I want the truth.

It is the truth, I saw you,

and I knew I had
to get to know you.

So you made up a pack of lies.

I thought you'd
find it romantic,

me risking arrest
and public humiliation,

just so I could meet you.

It's a better story
for the grandkids

than we met in the
pub or at tesco's.

Do you realise this is
all going down on tape?

Yeah.

Well, it gives a
whole new meaning

to police harassment, don't it?

Will you stop enjoying this?

Nope, can't be done.

I dunno whether to charge
you with wasting police time,

or bring in the men
with the white coats.

Okay, interview terminated.

Hang on.

Can I see you again?

You're free to go, Mr. Christie.

[Upbeat music]

Something you said has
been preying on me mind.

Well, as I explained earlier,
we really can't help you.

I know, because I'm
too old for a puppy.

That's right.

What about an old rescue dog?

Say, something
10 or 11 years old?

I'm sorry, we don't have any.

What, none at all?

Strays don't get old, Mr. Lane.

They either die or get put down

long before they
reach that kind of age.

So you never see
any really old dogs?

I'm afraid not, no,

that's answered my
question, thank you very much.

I've been thinking about motive.

Now, professor styles believes

in the ancient Egyptian
concept of the afterlife

and worships a dog-headed god.

So she says.

Ah, but which one?

Is there more than one?

There are two,

and if she worships the
one I think she worships,

I may be able to give you a
perfectly rational explanation

for these crimes.

[Mysterious music]

Now, the more famous of
the Egyptian dog-headed gods

was Anubis here,

and as far as I can work out,
he was the god of embalming,

but there was another
one called wepwawet,

who was more
associated with the jackal.

You see, when a master died,

his prestige in the life to come

depended on how
many slaves and animals.

Were sacrificed to go with him.

But before mummification,

it was wepwawet who
consumed their corporeal organs

in order to release their
souls from earthly corruption.

That's handy, she's not in.

Oi, that's virtually
breaking and entering!

Not if you knock.

[Loud knocking]

You stay here,
I'll go and find her,

and don't touch anything!

So, if professor
styles is standing in

for wepwa thingamebob,
the more animals she kills,

the more comfort and
companionship she secures

for herself in the
afterworld, right?

Exactly,

and if I'm not mistaken,
this is a canopic-

[dramatic music]

Jack, you've gotta see a doctor!

I mean, this might
have been priceless!

In fact, it might
be, look at that.

- Cheers.
- Well, you're right,

all the major organs
apart from the heart

are preserved in the jar.

Fillet steak, mandrake
root, mummification, yeah,

all beginning to fit.

Except, these aren't
animal remains.

They're human.

I've been dreading
this call for 25 years.

I knew you'd catch
up with me in the end.

You're prepared to
make a full confession?

Of course, no point
in lying about it now.

You were acting for wepwawet?

Yes, I knew it was
against the law,

but I had a religious
duty to perform.

So you started with dogs
then moved on to humans?

No, I started with Henry.

Henry?

My husband, Mr. Styles.

Those are his organs over there.

It was his dying
wish to be mummified.

And I suppose he also told you

that you should go around
killing other people's dogs

just to keep him company?

Of course not, my
husband loved dogs, as I do.

So you're not confessing
to the dog murders, then?

No.

Then what are you confessing to?

Illegally interfering
with a corpse,

contrary to the 1847 burial act.

Do you think they'll
put me in prison?

[Body thuds]

[Curious music]

Brian, Brian!

Is he all right?

Well, he's not allergic to dogs.

What's wrong with him?

All the symptoms point to
some sort of brain tumour.

Symptoms?

What symptoms, nobody told
me anything about symptoms?

No, well, there's nothing
specific, you know,

bit of dizziness, nausea.

But they won't know for certain

'til they've done some tests.

Well, the good news is I
haven't got a brain tumour.

So what's wrong with you?

That's the bad news,
they don't know.

Anyway, they're keeping
me in for observation.

[Jack coughing]

If you lot really want
me to feel better,

you won't come back

'til you've made some
progress in this case.

Well, Brian thinks
he's found something.

The reason the killer
moved on to family pets is,

you just don't get old strays.

Yeah, but that doesn't explain
why he only wants old dogs,

does it?

I think he wants the liver.

What?

Well, right from
the earliest cases,

the selection of organs
has just looked random,

but he always takes the liver.

What's so special
about old dog's liver?

Yeah, it's hardly
foie Gras, is it?

[Mysterious music]

I can't find me copy of
"home of the blizzard"

by sir Douglas mawson.

I've had that book
since I was a kid.

The arctic explorer?

No, the antarctic explorer.

It was me favourite book
when I was 10 years old,

I would never have
chucked that away.

Well, it's gone now.

This charity box
was full yesterday.

Yes, I know, so I put
a few more things in,

some books, took
it down the shop.

Oh no, I was keeping all that.

Why didn't you put it
in the keep box, then?

I did, this is why I say,

don't give or Chuck
anything away

without checking with me first!

You never know when
you might need something.

Which charity
shop did you go to?

Gerry, did you ever read a book

called "the home of the
blizzard" by sir Douglas mawson

when you were a kid?

I barely got
through the "beano".

It was one of the
first genuine mysteries

I ever came across.

I suppose I've been
fascinated by them ever since.

Brian, what's your
sad, anorak childhood

got to do with anything?

Because his
colleague, Xavier mertz,

was killed by sir
Douglas mawson,

only that didn't come to light

'til 60 years after the event.

Really?

Ah!

Hello, what are you doing here?

I heard you were in hospital,

and when I came to pick
up my wife's prescription,

I thought I'd look in.

Oh, that's very nice of you.

Not at all, are you all right?

Well, they think I've
got a bit of a virus,

but I'm feeling a lot better.

Good, good, sorry, I didn't
have time for grapes, so.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Well, I'd better be going.

You look after
yourself, all right?

I will.

Thanks again, it's
very kind of you.

- Bye.
- Bye.

[Jack sighs]

It's a rare thing for
anyone to take an interest

in sir Douglas
mawson these days.

You amaze me.

What's he got to
do with dead dogs?

Everything.

Because it's a classic
tale of derring-do

charting mawson's epic journey

across 2000 miles of
unexplored polar waste.

Now, when mawson and
mertz lost their supplies,

they were left with a
single team of huskies

miles from base camp.

At first, everything
looked hopeless,

but they trudged on, killing
and eating their sled dogs

as they went.

Then, mertz grew
weak very quickly.

Mawson insisted that
his friend eat something.

He said he should take
the soft parts of the dog,

like the livers,
but he got worse.

He started suffering dizziness,
nausea, stomach cramps.

Get to the point, Brian.

Mertz died a hundred
miles from base camp.

Mawson soldiered on alone,

finally arriving to
a hero's welcome.

Now, what killed mertz
remained a mystery,

until an obscure article

in the new england
journal of medicine

suggested that mawson himself

had inadvertently
killed his colleague.

So there's something
wrong with dog livers?

They're lethally
poisonous to human beings.

So, instead of a psychopath,

we're now looking
for a poisoner?

Yeah, and the reason why
the killer only wants old dogs

is that the older they get,

the more poisonous
their livers are.

Why?

Because all the excess vitamin a

that a dog gets from
eating other animals

is stored in his liver.

Now, if we eat those livers,
we ingest a lethal amount.

And apparently, one
single dose of dog's liver

delivers 30,000 times the
recommended daily dose

of vitamin a for adults.

Well, how long would
that take to kill someone?

Well, obviously that
depends on the dose,

but the pathologist
said two to three months,

which was just about the length

of the first spate
of dog murders.

So we need to go back and
look over medical records

and see if we can find
the death certificate

of anyone who died
of a mysterious illness

at some point during 1979.

Oh, forgot my purse.

No, I've got money, don't, oh,

look what the cat dragged in.

I don't think so.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I got tired of waiting for
her majesty's bloodhounds

to sniff the killer out.

Go home, Mr. Fletcher.

But I've come here to help!

Yes, Lassie can't be
expected to solve the case

all on her own.

Get on with it.

I did it.

What?

You did it?

I am the killer.

The man you're looking for?

I killed the dogs,
every one of them.

This is what you people
would call a confession,

or do you need
me to start whining,

stick my tail between my legs?

Sandra?

Hang on, as
Mr. Fletcher is so keen

to have a look at
the interview room,

will you please show him in?

[Officer] Ma'am.

Here's the list,
mysterious deaths in 79.

Blimey, is that all?

Well, it's all they'll admit to.

Jennifer farlow.

Excuse me?

Third on the list,
Jennifer Rose farlow.

Farlow?

Yeah, that's the same name
as Jack's contact, isn't it?

James farlow?

Yeah, the dog
protection officer.

It's gotta be.

Right, Gerry, get onto
it, I want everything.

Background, health
records, family history, the lot.

[Gerry] Okay.

Brian and I'll go and
deal with Mr. Fletcher.

Right.

So easy to fool the pathologist
about the time of death,

little dose of this,
little dose of that.

I killed all those dogs,
every single one of them.

So why don't you run
us through the details

of your method, then?

Oh, no.

Not until you arrest me and
set the pace machine running,

you don't want me to get
off on a technicality, do you?

I can begin to see what
you're up to now, very clever.

Thank you.

I mean, you had the knives,
the motive, the opportunity.

Of course.

And you made perfect incisions.

Well, I'm trained to.

Just one question though.

When you were removing
the organs of the dog,

why did you always
leave the liver behind?

[Laughs] Why the liver?

Yeah, why did you do that?

Well, I always leave
the liver behind-

yeah, you always
leave the liver behind.

But why?

Mr. Fletcher, is
there anything else

you'd like to confess to?

Shergar, cock
Robin, Bambi's mum?

Look, how many times
do I have to tell you?

You see, what
really interests me

is the kind of dim inadequacy

that leads someone to indulge
in such a pathetic fantasy.

Is it the oxygen of publicity

or is it something to
do with your mother?

You rattle my cage
and I'll rattle yours.

I had you down for a monster,
but you're not, are you?

You're just a
pathetic little runt.

Could've been a result, though.

You don't get many
of them, now, do you?

Remind me,

what's the police clear up
from muggings and burglary?

That doesn't matter
though, does it?

They're not serious crimes!

They only involve people.

[Ominous music]

So James farlow
was married before

and his first wife,
Jennifer, died in 1979.

And the dog killing
stopped after her death.

According to his bank,

she had a large
life insurance policy,

which of course paid out
on her mysterious demise.

A year later, he
remarried Claire haslam,

15 years his junior, who
is the current Mrs. Farlow.

Guess where he worked
before coming to London?

He was in the antarctic,

employed by the south
Australian survey group

to be their husky
welfare officer.

'Course he was.

So he'd have known all
about Douglas mawson.

He could practically have
written a book on it himself.

But instead, he decides
to poison his first wife

and claim the insurance money.

It all fits together, Jack.

Almost the perfect murder.

We just have to work
out how he managed

to administer the poison
and we're ready to Nick him.

So what do you
give someone to eat

when they're already ill
and they've got no appetite?

[Mysterious music]

Jesus Christ, Jack,

how much of that
stuff have you had?

[Door rattling]

Farlow!

Police, open the door!

[Siren wailing]

[Loud banging]

Oh, please, be quiet!

I don't want Claire upset.

She loses her appetite
so easily these days.

- Appetite?
- You're poisoning her!

And she's not the first, is she?

How is Jack?

A little remorse will go
a long way, Mr. Farlow,

especially where you're going.

Remorse, oh, I did away
with that a long time ago.

So it's all just for
the money, was it?

Do you know, it was?

And you thought
you'd have another go

with wife number two?

Well, how often do you realise

you can commit
the perfect crime?

Don't flatter yourself.

Perfect is when
you don't get caught.

Oh, come now,
that's rather graceless.

It's taken you a
couple of decades.

I should imagine the
mandrake root puzzled you

a little bit, eh?

Do you know how the ancient
Greeks used to uproot the plant?

No, I don't,

perhaps you'll enlighten
us down at the station.

I love trivia, all
the little tidbits

that no one knows about,

like britain is the eighth
largest island in the world,

and the boiling point of water
is lower at higher altitudes.

Fascinating.

And the liver of aged dogs

kills beautifully
without a trace.

You should have
joined a pub quiz.

No, because I'm not
a dullard like my wives,

or that idiot you
sent to question me,

you should have heard him,

"oh, what a delicious beef tea!

Please sir, may I
have some more?"

If you were that clever, you
wouldn't have got caught!

True, but there's a
certain satisfaction

in how things turned out.

I always hated having to
hide my light under a bushel.

Perhaps I'll write a book.

James farlow, I'm arresting
you under suspicion

of murdering Jennifer farlow.

You do not have to say anything,

but it may harm your defence

if you do not mention something

which you later
rely on in court.

[Gerry] Oi, what you doing?

I'm discharging myself.

Are you sure you're well enough?

I've never felt worse.

Can you believe it?

He tried to kill me!

He poisoned me, Gerry!

And d'you know what
really pisses me off?

I let him do it.

I sat and let him
systematically poison me!

And d'you know why?

Because I made a
fundamental error.

I committed the cardinal
sin, I felt sorry for him.

Me!

You think I was old
enough to have more sense.

Jack, you flushed him out.

Flush him out,
I'll flush him out,

I'll flush him down the
nearest flushing lav-

[Jack coughing]

And this bloody cough!

Well, I for one will be happy

if I never see
another dog in my life,

but, sadly, that's
not gonna happen.

Brian, this is for you mate.

[Brian] Eh?

[All exclaiming]

Where did you get him?

Well, remember when you
sent me down the Heath?

There was this little
old lady with this dog

and she wanted to find
a good home for him.

What's he called?

Well, it could be
scampi, couldn't it?

Scampi in a basket [laughs].

Scampi, are you scampi?

'Cause you're a little
scamp, aren't you?

Tell you what, Jack,

you've still got those
sores on your face?

Sores, what sores?

Very kind of you, I'll
have a pint [laughs].

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

♪ doesn't really matter
if you're old and grey ♪

♪ it's all right, I say ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

♪ listen to what I say ♪

♪ it's all right, doing fine ♪

♪ doesn't really matter
if the sun don't shine ♪

♪ it's all right, I say ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

♪ we're getting to
the end of the day ♪

♪ high tech, low
tech, take your pick ♪

♪ 'cause you can't teach an
old dog a brand new trick ♪

♪ I don't care what
anybody says ♪

♪ at the end of the day ♪

[Cheerful music]