All language subtitles for Assisted Living s03e13 Training Day.eng

(laughs)
(grunts)

Give me my ten points!

I'm not giving you anything,
cheater.

I'm offended by your
accusations.

Yeah, and I'm offended that you
used a marker to try to change

four dots to five.

Innocent until proven guilty,
right Judge?

That marker's hanging out of
your pocket.

- (doorbell ringing)
- Damn, I hate a snitch.

Dad, Dad, Dad!

Finally found a sport that I
like!

Can you sign this permission
slip for tryouts tomorrow?

Yeah, I can sign it!

Y'all hear that?
My boy an athlete.

Yeah, yeah, and I'mma train with
you.

You know your Daddy used to get
it in, right?

- (laughing)
- Thanks, Dad.

So, what is it, uh, basketball?

- No.
- Football?

- No.
- Soccer?

- No.
- Well, what sport?

It's lacrosse.

- Lacrosse?!
- (laughing)

I don't know nothing 'bout no
damn lacrosse!

You know, I once dated a woman
named Lacrosse.

Lacrosse Simpson was her name.

Ironically, she was cross-eyed.

And, and how's that help me with
this?

Ain't nothing like having a
woman that can watch your back

and hers at the same time.

Who even plays lacrosse?

Nobody black.

Not true, Jim Brown was an
All-American

when he played lacrosse at
Syracuse.

- Woah, Jim Brown?
- Mmhmm.

Hall-of-fame football player Jim
Brown?

(chuckling)

No, dummy, Jim Brown the cook at
the Waffle Hut.

Considered one of the greatest
lacrosse players ever.

You know they only let one black
be great at a white man's sport.

That's ridiculous.

If that is ridiculous then how
come Tiger Woods is the only

black professional golfer we've
ever seen?

You know what?

That makes complete sense, yet
no sense at all.

Look, many African Americans
have contributed to lacrosse,

it's one of the growing sports
in our community.

Alright, well I guess I better
do my research

so I can help my boy out with
his tryouts.

Hmm, before you do that give me
my damn 20 points.

Get up out of here.

Come on, man.
You used a red marker now.

This is, this is just horrible.
This, this is how you cheat?

- (chuckling)
- This is some lazy cheating.

(music)

(Male Singer) ♪ No matter what
you do I love you ♪

♪ No matter where you go I'm
behind you for sure ♪

♪ Always remember blood ain't
never water ♪

♪ We'll make it if we stay
together ♪

(music)

Hey!

I got an interesting phone call
today.

Look, Vice Principal Johnson's
toupee had gorilla glue on it

before I got there.

Okay, that wasn't what I was
talking about

but we can talk about that
later.

(chuckles)
No need to dwell on the past.

They said you were invited to a
fancy ball

and they're meeting tomorrow.

Oh yeah, the Heirs of
Renaissance are having a dance.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because I'm not interested.

It's a group of bougie elitist
black people holding a dance

that upholds sexist values and
the patriarchal system.

Okay, that is so not how they
described it

on the phone, Sandra.

They just said it was a formal
dance.

Did I hear someone say formal
dance?

Mom wants me to go to a
celebration of oppression.

Uh, settle down, Sojourner
Truth.

It's just a dance.

It's being organized by a group
called

the Heirs of the Renaissance.

You're going to the Ellington
Ball?

You're familiar with them?

The Heirs of Renaissance is this
community's oldest organization

for black people.

Why do I need to attend a dance
to see the oldest black people

in town? I mean,
I could stay home for that.

It's an honor to be invited to
the dance.

The organization sponsors
numerous scholarships

and many of its alums have gone
on to highly successful careers

including moi.

You had me at scholarships.

Guess who's going?

But I told you, they're elitist.

And your parents are broke-ist.

You need every scholarship
dollar you can find.

Okay, well the invitation isn't
even a done deal.

I still have to pass
an etiquette test

at their stupid meeting
tomorrow.

Hmm, well we might be in
trouble.

Don't' worry, I can help whip
her into shape.

You sure?

Stop slouching!

Shoulders back, chin up!

Clearly you have this, Miss
Anastasia.

(music)

Okay, 10-person teams face off
as they try to get

the small rubber ball into their
opponent's goal.

Instead of throwing the ball
with their hands

or kicking it with their feet,
lacrosse players

use long sticks.

I guess that's this thing.

It's called a Crosse, Dad.

Be careful, things didn't work
out too good

with the last black man carrying
a cross.

Jesus, Grandpa.

That's exactly who I'm talking
about.

Alright, lacrosse games can
include fast breaks, picks,

and different defensive
strategies such as zones

and man-to-man--

This just like basketball except
no dribbling.

Or black people.

Don't you got something to do?

Nope, called the joy of
retirement.

Alright, let's just focus on the
rules, okay?

I mean, Dad, I know what
lacrosse is about.

You don't' have to read the
instructions

like you're building furniture
from Ikea.

How's it going?

I'll tell you how it's going,
old dummy is trying to explain

the game to a younger dummy.

Yeah, but decrepit dummy keep
interrupting.

It's called colored
commentating.

Block out the color
commentating,

you're doing great.

Man, I tried to give myself a
crash course real quick

so I wouldn't' look like an
idiot, but...

Listen, you don't' have to be
perfect,

you just have to be present.

I wish I realized that with my
son.

You're right.

Hopefully Leah will have better
luck.

(chuckling)
Me too.

(music)

I printed the guidelines from
the Ellington Ball's website.

Only a stuck-up dance has
guidelines.

It is not stuck up, it is
cultured and refined.

Now shut your trap!

Go ahead, Ms. Anastasia.

Proper etiquette on how to
accept a gentleman's invitation

to dance.

Hold up, what if I want to ask
him to dance?

Oh no, there are very strict
rules about that.

Only the boys ask the girls.

So much for female empowerment.

Well, it's not like you have to
say "yes",

a "no" is just as empowering.

That brings me to this part,
when a young lady refuses

a gentleman's invitation to
dance, she cannot accept

another invitation for the same
dance.

Wait, I have to miss out on a
dance if I tell a guy no?

Does that mean he's not allowed
to ask anybody else

to dance until the song is over?

Um...

See, this is exactly the type of
sexism I was talking about!

It's not sexism, Sandra, it's
tradition.

Okay, well it was also tradition
to be racist

but you don't see anyone trying
to protect that.

Depends on who you talking to.

How about we move on to
something else?

Now, for the fine dining portion
of the evening.

A young lady should know the
proper order of her silverware.

Okay baby girl, where's your
salad fork?

(cheering)

Very good, fabulous.

Now, where is your dinner fork?

(exclaiming)

Baby that's your, that's your
salad fork.

That I could just as easily use
to eat dinner or dessert.

OH no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no!

You cannot recycle a fork during
a formal dinner!

Were you raised in the wild,
child?!

Ms. Anastasia!

You must use your dinner fork
for the main course meal!

Okay, well that's wasteful.
I mean think--

(shrieking)

Okay...

As I was saying, think about all
the black and brown people

who probably have to wash these
dishes on an unlivable wage.

Girl, you are trying my nerves!

You need this scholarship, get
this right!

Let's move on to something else.

Please!

Shoulders back, chest out, chin
up!

Impeccable posture is needed for
the dance floor.

Oh, we can skip this lesson, I
already know how to dance.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

(laughing)

- (shrieking)
- Wait a minute, wait a minute!

(panting)

Back.

This is...

the Ellington Ball,

not a Cardi B video!

Okay!

Oooh.

Try it again, try it again, one
more time.

- (trilling)
- (clears throat)

Oh, hmmm, sorry.

For a formal ball, one must know
how to ballroom dance.

I will lead, you follow.

- Ugh.
- Come on, baby.

Give it a shot.

Chin up!

One, two, three, one, two,
three, one--

Ow!
You stepped on my toe, Sandra!

- My bad!
- Careful!

- Again.
- Scholarship.

Eyes up, don't' look down.

One, two, three, one--

Ow, that's my bunion!

- My bunion, oh Sandra!
- You told me not to look down.

- (crying)
- Alright.

Maybe, maybe we should take a
break.

Okay, you know what?

I'm done, this is way too much
work for a dance

that I didn't even want to go
to. I'm out.

Baby girl!

(music)

Alright, okay, we're about to
get you ready.

I need you to have the speed and
agility of a cheetah.

Is the boy training to play
lacrosse

or to be the Black Panther?

(chuckling)

My son is about to be the LeBron
James of lacrosse.

Yeah, yeah, but with a better
hairline.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You got your dad's genes, don't
worry about that.

- Alright, you ready?
- Yes, sir.

Okay, alright, what we're gonna
do, we're gonna do

some burpees, we're gonna do the
ladder,

then you're gonna sprint back.

Alright cool, sound like a piece
of cake.

Yeah, we're gonna do that five
times back-to-back.

That's called child abuse.

No, that's called preparing him
for excellence.

That's the same damn thing Joe
Jackson said.

If it'll make you feel better,
I'll do it with you.

That's okay, Dad, I don't want
you to hurt yourself.

I better call the paramedics
right now.

You know what?

Here, you keep time 'cause I
don't trust this one.

The only thing you shouldn't
trust is them old-ass knees.

He's right, are you sure you
want to do this?

(Vinny laughing)

Am I sure?

Yeah, I'm a dog!
I do this!

Alright, on your mark, ready,
set, go.

(grunting)

- (laughing)
- (grunting)

(panting)

- Good job, son.
- (Vinny laughing)

We can take a break, if you
need.

No, I'm fine.

Boy, get me some water.

Go on, go on!

Maybe you should bring an oxygen
tank too.

(Vinny laughing)

Oh my God.

(grunting)

I can't believe y'all let me do
that.

That boy put a hurtin' on you.

But you gotta admit, he looked
good doing it.

Yeah, from what I could see
before I lost my vision.

Don't worry 'bout it, I got it
all right here.

I'mma put this up online.

Just imagine if he could've
applied that same athleticism

to basketball.

He'd have beat your ass at that
too.

My boy is playing lacrosse.

Never would have saw that
coming.

Now, basketball, football,
baseball, track...

Basically some respectable black
folks sports.

(chuckling)

(music)

Ms. Anastasia, Sandra has
something she would like to say.

Hopefully I can hear it above my
broken heart and bruised bunion.

That's a good place to start.

Look, Ms. Anastasia, I'm really
sorry that I stepped

on your bunion.

I mean, I had no idea--

Woah, that is huge!

That's not how we apologize.

Mom, it looks like it's giving
birth to another toe.

Stand up, stand up, stand up,
look, focus, focus.

Okay, um, uh, as I was saying,
I'm really sorry

that I stepped on your foot.
Even more sorry for my behavior.

Sandra darling, have a seat.

Watch out for my bunion.

I really need you to understand
the importance

of the Heirs of Renaissance.

It was created during a time
where there was so much

negative imagery about black
people.

The organization allows us to
promote scholarship,

achievement, excellence, and
community.

Wow, I, I didn't know that.

And now you're being asked to be
a part of that tradition,

baby girl.

I know the Ellington Ball has
some ways of thinking

that are out of date.

No, I was totally out of line
for saying that.

No, you were right.

And I plan to contact the
program director tomorrow

to see if we can revisit some of
those rules and guidelines.

No, I don't' want to cause any
trouble.

Like the great John Lewis said,
"It's good trouble."

And it took a feisty young lady
like yourself

to make me see that.

So does this mean you guys are
gonna take back

calling me a brat and
ungrateful?

Hmmmm, nah.

You had some valid points, baby
girl,

but your approach was
questionable.

But we do understand if you do
not wanna go to the ball.

We do?

Right,

we do.

No, no, I want to.

And if you're still interested,
I would love if you would

continue to train me.

(gasps)
Oh, let's do it!

(chuckling)

Oh, be careful!

Sorry again.

It's okay, it's quite alright.

Alright, are you ready?

Ready.

Salad fork.

- Oh!
- Yes!

(cheering)

Bravo, bravo!

Dessert spoon.

(shrieking)

(laughing)

Oh, I'm so proud of you.

(music)

(music)

(groans)

Damn son, I've been looking all
over for you.

Which is hard considering I
sprained my back, my ankle,

and my eyelid.

I'm just here chilling.

Well come on, hurry up.
Let's get back to it.

I got some more workouts I want
you to do.

Nah, that's okay.

What you mean, "that's okay"?

Look, I promise I won't show you
up again, alright?

- I'm good.
- You okay?

Come on, man, don't you want to
get ready for tryouts?

I decided I'm not gonna try out.

What?!

What happened?
You were so excited.

I overheard you laughing with
Grandpa Vinny and Mr. Reggie

and how you wish I was playing a
black sport.

Come on, son, you know how we
are. We just being silly.

It ain't no such thing as a
black sport or a white sport,

- alright?
- Really?

Okay, what about hockey?

There some black players in the
NHL,

I don't know their names but
there's some in there.

Okay, NASCAR?

There's a black NASCAR driver.

His name is Bubba Wallace.

What about sailing?

Okay, you got me there.

Definitely no brothers in
sailing.

But in my defense, you know,
black people, we got this thing

with boats and this country.

We don't mess with that.

All I know is I finally found a
sport that I wanted to play

and I thought you'd be proud.

Ah son, now, now look.

When you first told me lacrosse,
I was a little bit thrown off.

But then I saw how excited you
were

and how enthusiastic you were
about this.

Honestly, I was proud.

You mean that?
Yeah!

Yeah, cross my heart and hope to
die.

Or do another burpee.

So come on, man.

Let's go get you ready for this
tryout.

I'm ready if you're ready.

I'm ready, I'm ready, yeah.

Love you, Dad.

I love you too, son.

Hey, hey, hey, I don't want no
hug.

I need help getting up.

You gonna walk me back to the
living room.

Oh baby, can you pass me the
remote?

Yo, I can't move.

Everything hurts from my
eyebrows down.

(laughing)
Poor baby.

But spending time with that boy
was worth it.

Hmm, you think he's ready for
tomorrow?

What?!

He's about to crush them
tryouts.

- Awww.
- How things go with Sandra?

Hmm, it started out rough, you
know her.

But eventually she came around.

Ms. Anastasia whipped her right
into shape.

(chuckling)

So she's all ready for her
audition and whatever?

Yup!

That invitation is as good as
hers, honey.

Shout out to us for being
dope-ass parents.

Hmm!

We pushed them and we helped
them out when they needed it.

We did that!

Mom, when can we go shopping?!

I need a gown, shoes, and of
course a matching bag.

Hey Dad, can you buy me a
helmet, shoulder pads,

elbow pads, and cleats?

Look like we done supported and
pushed ourselves

into the poor house.

- Hmm.
- So it that a yes?

Yeah, this is important.

If your mom get rid of her weave
we can save some money.

- (music)
- Ugh.

(music)

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