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1
00:00:51,331 --> 00:00:55,825
79, 80, 80-jump, 82,
2
00:00:55,961 --> 00:01:00,204
83, 84, 85, 86...
3
00:01:12,561 --> 00:01:14,802
Come on, Harper!
4
00:01:15,021 --> 00:01:16,761
Come on, Yale.
5
00:01:16,856 --> 00:01:21,057
J Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care
6
00:01:21,152 --> 00:01:23,063
j my master's gone away j&
7
00:01:54,311 --> 00:01:55,926
Jeff: Take that, my good man.
8
00:02:00,233 --> 00:02:02,019
Oh, you are fast, Muhammad Ali.
9
00:02:02,110 --> 00:02:04,021
You're fast, all right.
10
00:02:06,823 --> 00:02:08,029
Ooh!
11
00:02:08,575 --> 00:02:09,575
Rabbit punch!
12
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,361
Jesus, ref, are you blind?
13
00:02:15,332 --> 00:02:16,993
You're a credit to your race.
14
00:02:30,513 --> 00:02:32,450
Male newsreader:
Damage estimated in the millions.
15
00:02:32,474 --> 00:02:34,886
It's the third such outbreak
in this area this month,
16
00:02:35,226 --> 00:02:37,467
and reflects the unrest
that has plagued the area
17
00:02:37,562 --> 00:02:40,053
since early last year,
when similar conflagrations
18
00:02:40,148 --> 00:02:41,513
arose all across the country.
19
00:02:41,608 --> 00:02:43,690
- Morning, troops.
- Many attribute the action to...
20
00:02:43,777 --> 00:02:45,630
- Hello, sweetheart.
- A predictable seasonal unemployment.
21
00:02:45,654 --> 00:02:47,089
- Hey, Burton.
- The governor pointed out that,
22
00:02:47,113 --> 00:02:48,649
should another such incident occur,
23
00:02:48,823 --> 00:02:50,279
he would be compelled to ask
24
00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:52,232
for special federal riot troops,
25
00:02:52,369 --> 00:02:55,702
an action that no-one wants,
least of all the white house,
26
00:02:55,789 --> 00:02:58,371
which has been hopeful
that such disturbances were over,
27
00:02:58,458 --> 00:03:00,039
at least for the time being.
28
00:03:00,335 --> 00:03:02,451
That's got to be the
smallest screen in the world.
29
00:03:02,587 --> 00:03:04,418
They look like ants.
30
00:03:04,714 --> 00:03:07,205
They're getting very dangerous.
31
00:03:07,592 --> 00:03:10,675
A screen that size ought to
only have 15-minute shows.
32
00:03:12,305 --> 00:03:15,547
Get it?
Small screen, small shows.
33
00:03:16,393 --> 00:03:18,304
You said that yesterday.
34
00:03:18,687 --> 00:03:20,973
You didn't get it
yesterday, either.
35
00:03:21,147 --> 00:03:25,356
It wasn't funny yesterday,
any more than it'll be funny tomorrow.
36
00:03:25,443 --> 00:03:27,525
Critics everywhere.
37
00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:31,237
Aren't you concerned
with the civil rights issue?
38
00:03:31,366 --> 00:03:33,402
Yeah, sure.
39
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:35,763
Most people are just crazy.
They think that, at any moment,
40
00:03:35,787 --> 00:03:37,807
a negro's gonna hit 'em over the head
with a watermelon,
41
00:03:37,831 --> 00:03:40,368
and steal their high school ring.
42
00:03:40,458 --> 00:03:43,416
I think white people have to show
greater interest and understanding.
43
00:03:43,545 --> 00:03:45,456
- How else...
- Look, althea...
44
00:03:45,588 --> 00:03:47,169
Your bus'll be coming by soon.
45
00:03:47,382 --> 00:03:51,125
I like to give 'em a head start.
Makes a contest out of it.
46
00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:02,844
It is now post time!
47
00:04:02,939 --> 00:04:04,770
Thank you, my dear.
48
00:04:04,941 --> 00:04:08,104
Off to another smash week
in the insurance game.
49
00:04:08,361 --> 00:04:09,726
I want you to know that I feel
50
00:04:09,821 --> 00:04:11,277
I'm leading a boring life.
51
00:04:11,364 --> 00:04:12,729
I am so advised.
52
00:04:12,824 --> 00:04:14,735
You were so advised yesterday.
53
00:04:14,826 --> 00:04:16,782
It wasn't funny yesterday, either.
54
00:04:16,911 --> 00:04:19,618
- Don't kiss me.
- I wasn't gonna kiss you.
55
00:04:19,706 --> 00:04:21,642
It's just that my shorts
are too tight, that's all.
56
00:04:21,666 --> 00:04:24,453
Mommy, can we watch daddy
run out the door?
57
00:04:24,586 --> 00:04:26,668
- No, you may not.
- Oh, boy.
58
00:04:26,755 --> 00:04:28,336
There goes your stupid bus.
59
00:04:28,423 --> 00:04:30,664
Doesn't stand a chance.
60
00:04:55,074 --> 00:04:56,234
Passenger: There he is!
61
00:04:56,326 --> 00:04:57,361
The son of a bitch!
62
00:04:57,452 --> 00:04:59,693
Step on it,
you got him by fifty yards!
63
00:05:00,205 --> 00:05:03,288
Sorry, folks, I got to
make a stop at this corner.
64
00:05:03,374 --> 00:05:05,740
Passenger ♪2:
Have your exact change ready, folks.
65
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:13,290
Come on!
66
00:05:42,497 --> 00:05:44,033
Passenger: Hurry up! Hurry up!
67
00:05:55,385 --> 00:05:57,876
Passenger: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
68
00:06:01,057 --> 00:06:03,639
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
69
00:06:59,282 --> 00:07:01,614
Passengers: Oh, shit!
70
00:07:07,707 --> 00:07:10,414
Winner, and still
undefeated, folks!
71
00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:12,833
Pay some
respectful homage, please.
72
00:07:12,921 --> 00:07:14,627
Some applause, please?
73
00:07:16,507 --> 00:07:17,787
Shows you have good taste, lady.
74
00:07:18,009 --> 00:07:19,499
Fare, please.
75
00:07:19,761 --> 00:07:22,503
Jeff: Arrogant, arrogant.
They're all arrogant!
76
00:07:24,807 --> 00:07:26,718
In the good old days,
back in the old south,
77
00:07:26,809 --> 00:07:28,515
you'd have to
drive from back here!
78
00:07:30,104 --> 00:07:32,561
- Get it? Back of the bus?
- Why don't you take
79
00:07:32,732 --> 00:07:36,441
all the money you save
racing this bus, and race a cab?
80
00:07:36,527 --> 00:07:38,643
Jeff: That is very funny.
81
00:07:38,738 --> 00:07:41,354
Hey, driver, you hear that?
82
00:07:42,408 --> 00:07:43,693
I'm only good for
83
00:07:43,785 --> 00:07:45,275
short distances.
84
00:07:45,495 --> 00:07:47,235
Hundred yards, maybe.
85
00:07:48,247 --> 00:07:50,238
But over a long haul,
86
00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:53,707
they just don't have it in 'em.
87
00:07:53,795 --> 00:07:56,002
J camptown race track five miles long
88
00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:58,037
j doo-dah
89
00:07:58,132 --> 00:08:01,249
j camptown race track
five miles long... &
90
00:08:20,738 --> 00:08:23,024
Jeff: See you tomorrow, fans!
Same time, same station.
91
00:08:23,116 --> 00:08:25,107
Yeah, not such a big shot
when it rains, are ya?
92
00:08:25,201 --> 00:08:26,407
When it rains, you ride.
93
00:08:50,393 --> 00:08:51,673
Come on, Joe.
94
00:08:51,728 --> 00:08:53,969
Hey, Joe, come on,
come on, come on!
95
00:08:54,522 --> 00:08:55,932
Mornin', mr gerber.
96
00:08:56,024 --> 00:08:57,480
Ah, mornin', Joe. How goes it?
97
00:08:57,567 --> 00:08:58,682
Oh, okay.
98
00:08:58,943 --> 00:09:00,899
Any rioting in
the neighbourhood last night?
99
00:09:00,987 --> 00:09:02,943
Er... I don't see
any broken windows.
100
00:09:04,449 --> 00:09:06,940
What's the matter? This place
ain't good enough to... to loot?
101
00:09:08,828 --> 00:09:10,864
Oh, mr gerber!
102
00:09:11,789 --> 00:09:13,029
The usual, mr gerber?
103
00:09:13,124 --> 00:09:14,614
Oh, yes! Ah, but
make mine a double.
104
00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:17,041
I'm feeling a bit
under par this morning, hmm?
105
00:09:17,253 --> 00:09:22,043
One double polynesian
health juice comin' up!
106
00:09:24,510 --> 00:09:27,297
Hey, er... no offence about that, er...
That looting remark, you know?
107
00:09:27,388 --> 00:09:29,299
Oh, no, mr gerber.
108
00:09:29,432 --> 00:09:31,297
I know you don't go
for that sort of thing.
109
00:09:31,392 --> 00:09:32,848
No, okay.
110
00:09:32,935 --> 00:09:35,142
And, of course, if you did,
111
00:09:35,229 --> 00:09:37,345
it would be very hard for
the police to identify you.
112
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,852
I mean, an hour later,
113
00:09:40,234 --> 00:09:42,441
all you cats look alike!
114
00:09:44,489 --> 00:09:47,981
All us guys look Ali...
Oh, mr gerber!
115
00:09:49,577 --> 00:09:51,113
Here's to your health!
116
00:09:51,245 --> 00:09:54,533
Oh, 'scuse me, mr gerber.
117
00:09:57,168 --> 00:09:59,329
Hello? No, goodbye!
118
00:09:59,587 --> 00:10:01,248
Hey, Joe,
119
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:02,608
there's an extra nickel
in there for you.
120
00:10:02,632 --> 00:10:05,123
- Oh, thank you, mr gerber.
- Tip.
121
00:10:05,218 --> 00:10:08,005
- Thank you, mr gerber.
- Forget it.
122
00:10:30,993 --> 00:10:32,984
Okay, buddy, this is a hijack.
123
00:10:33,079 --> 00:10:34,990
Take this elevator to Harlem.
124
00:10:41,087 --> 00:10:42,748
Hey, how'd you do
on the poker game, Andy?
125
00:10:42,839 --> 00:10:44,579
Er, er... okay. Fine.
126
00:10:44,715 --> 00:10:47,047
Hey, er...
When are you and dotty
127
00:10:47,135 --> 00:10:49,175
comin' over to the house
to try out my new barbecue?
128
00:10:49,220 --> 00:10:51,802
Oh, er... soon, soon.
R... real soon.
129
00:10:51,973 --> 00:10:54,430
Five Saturdays in a row
I asked you.
130
00:10:54,851 --> 00:10:57,137
I'm beginnin' to think
y'all don't like us.
131
00:10:57,562 --> 00:10:59,598
Don't be silly, it's...
It's just that, er...
132
00:10:59,730 --> 00:11:03,188
Okay. Then we'll expect you
next Saturday at five o'clock,
133
00:11:03,276 --> 00:11:05,267
and no more excuses
about the children being sick.
134
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:07,860
Andy: Well, actually, er...
Dotty hasn't been feeling well.
135
00:11:07,947 --> 00:11:09,903
Get her cured by the weekend.
136
00:11:14,078 --> 00:11:17,036
Sluts, sluts, all of you, sluts!
137
00:11:17,165 --> 00:11:19,531
Next thing you know,
you'll be smoking cigarettes.
138
00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:21,490
Hello, there, Erica,
139
00:11:21,586 --> 00:11:23,542
you gorgeous hunk of Sweden.
140
00:11:23,629 --> 00:11:24,869
Erica: Norvay.
141
00:11:24,964 --> 00:11:27,671
Norvay, sveden,
what difference does it make,
142
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,507
as long as you're a blonde?
143
00:11:30,595 --> 00:11:32,176
Are you?
144
00:11:32,263 --> 00:11:34,470
Just curious.
I mean, how many girls
145
00:11:34,557 --> 00:11:36,172
are really blonde all the way?
146
00:11:36,267 --> 00:11:37,973
Collars and cuffs?
147
00:11:38,060 --> 00:11:39,425
Excuse me, mr gerber,
148
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:41,101
but I must get back to my desk.
149
00:11:41,230 --> 00:11:43,642
A dollar if you walk fast
and stop short.
150
00:11:43,733 --> 00:11:46,566
Two dollars if you trot.
Five dollars if you run.
151
00:11:46,861 --> 00:11:49,523
And ten dollars if you're
really a blonde.
152
00:11:51,115 --> 00:11:52,696
Gerber! In here.
153
00:11:52,867 --> 00:11:54,403
Yassuh, mr townsend.
154
00:11:55,328 --> 00:11:57,284
And fifty dollars if you're a fella!
155
00:11:57,872 --> 00:12:00,267
Ah, the top of
the morning to you, mr townsend,
156
00:12:00,291 --> 00:12:01,291
and how are ya?
157
00:12:01,417 --> 00:12:03,282
Gerber, sit down and stop
being so damn happy.
158
00:12:03,377 --> 00:12:04,742
- It's depressing.
- Yes, sir.
159
00:12:04,837 --> 00:12:07,374
Gerber, I am not
going to mince words.
160
00:12:07,465 --> 00:12:09,376
You have turned in
a very disappointing month.
161
00:12:09,550 --> 00:12:10,915
Well, I must say
I agree with you.
162
00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:12,321
But, considering
the time of year...
163
00:12:12,345 --> 00:12:14,281
Look, I'm just pointing out
it's a sub-productive month.
164
00:12:14,305 --> 00:12:16,591
- I'm not asking why.
- It's income tax time.
165
00:12:16,682 --> 00:12:18,764
And, though people die,
they seldom buy.
166
00:12:18,851 --> 00:12:21,342
Gerber, look, I may as well
come right out and say this.
167
00:12:21,437 --> 00:12:23,302
It's time somebody told you...
168
00:12:23,439 --> 00:12:25,725
I've got bad breath. Bad breath.
169
00:12:25,816 --> 00:12:27,397
You got something
much worse than that.
170
00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:30,693
Offensive perspiration?
Midriff bulge? Er...
171
00:12:30,780 --> 00:12:32,896
Dingy dentures? Asiatic crud!
172
00:12:33,115 --> 00:12:35,902
There! That's exactly
that kind of a remark.
173
00:12:36,035 --> 00:12:37,741
You, gerber, are a smartass.
174
00:12:37,828 --> 00:12:40,410
A number one,
king-size smartass!
175
00:12:40,539 --> 00:12:42,279
I'm the best salesman
in this office.
176
00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:43,455
You were.
177
00:12:43,542 --> 00:12:45,703
But your rate of new policies
is dropping.
178
00:12:46,212 --> 00:12:47,497
Here, I've been going about
179
00:12:47,588 --> 00:12:49,670
particularly trying
to sell policies
180
00:12:49,757 --> 00:12:51,213
only to younger men
181
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:54,133
who can live longer,
and pay premiums longer,
182
00:12:54,262 --> 00:12:55,843
and you don't appreciate it.
183
00:12:55,930 --> 00:12:58,387
Anybody can sell a policy
to a 90-year-old man
184
00:12:58,474 --> 00:12:59,674
with a cough and the shingles.
185
00:12:59,725 --> 00:13:02,262
Listen to me, gerber,
your customers curl up their toes
186
00:13:02,353 --> 00:13:04,039
at the same rate as all
of our other customers.
187
00:13:04,063 --> 00:13:06,054
Yeah, well, of course,
if 23 of my customers
188
00:13:06,148 --> 00:13:07,763
go down in
a sailing boat accident,
189
00:13:07,858 --> 00:13:09,458
that's bound to raise
the mortality rate!
190
00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:10,562
What sailing boat?
191
00:13:10,653 --> 00:13:12,564
- Er... in the squall.
- What squall?
192
00:13:12,655 --> 00:13:14,520
Oh, no, no, it was the train.
The train.
193
00:13:14,615 --> 00:13:16,134
Thirty-three of them went
right off the trestle.
194
00:13:16,158 --> 00:13:17,193
- What train?
- Er...
195
00:13:17,285 --> 00:13:19,137
W-would you believe
a-a tidal wave in Kansas City?
196
00:13:19,161 --> 00:13:21,026
A-a-a volcano in poughkeepsie?
197
00:13:21,122 --> 00:13:23,033
Er... mass suicides in fire island.
198
00:13:23,124 --> 00:13:24,864
- Gerber!
- Okay, Mr...
199
00:13:24,959 --> 00:13:26,039
Mr townsend,
200
00:13:26,127 --> 00:13:29,119
about your breath...
201
00:13:30,756 --> 00:13:33,042
Hey, look, make it
easier on yourself.
202
00:13:33,134 --> 00:13:35,546
Home, office? Your house.
203
00:13:35,636 --> 00:13:37,592
Okay, then. Tuesday?
204
00:13:38,097 --> 00:13:40,053
Five-thirty. Very good.
205
00:13:40,141 --> 00:13:42,598
Good show. See you then, John.
206
00:13:45,146 --> 00:13:48,138
Six outta six.
The kid does tricks.
207
00:13:59,618 --> 00:14:02,075
Clark dunwoodie, please.
208
00:14:02,163 --> 00:14:04,074
Oh, hi. Hey, Clark.
209
00:14:04,165 --> 00:14:06,497
Jeff gerber,
superior standard life.
210
00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:10,042
Hey, how about that lunch
I've been promising you, huh?
211
00:14:10,546 --> 00:14:12,036
Good show.
212
00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:15,540
Anytime you say.
213
00:14:19,805 --> 00:14:21,700
Male newsreader:
Local black leaders doing their utmost
214
00:14:21,724 --> 00:14:23,806
to keep their pledge to the mayor.
215
00:14:24,060 --> 00:14:27,302
The police are ready
if violence suddenly erupts...
216
00:14:30,566 --> 00:14:32,898
What are you trying to prove
with all that running?
217
00:14:32,985 --> 00:14:35,852
Don't bug me, althea,
I had a traumatic day.
218
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:39,147
Thirteen appointments
out of fifteen calls.
219
00:14:40,576 --> 00:14:42,487
Is that all you watch?
220
00:14:42,703 --> 00:14:45,945
Race riots?
What are you, perverse?
221
00:14:46,916 --> 00:14:49,828
- It's an important problem.
- Newsreader: It was announced that,
222
00:14:49,919 --> 00:14:52,376
should a request be made
for federal intervention,
223
00:14:52,463 --> 00:14:55,205
army units would be
immediately made available...
224
00:14:55,299 --> 00:14:57,881
I was watching!
225
00:14:58,052 --> 00:14:59,383
I'm gonna have my dinner
226
00:14:59,470 --> 00:15:01,335
without watching
a bunch of uppity darkies
227
00:15:01,430 --> 00:15:03,295
jigging up and down
on my TV screen.
228
00:15:03,391 --> 00:15:04,551
Why are you so hateful?
229
00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,598
I'm not hateful,
and don't start telling me
230
00:15:06,685 --> 00:15:07,891
I have a personality problem.
231
00:15:07,978 --> 00:15:09,263
I said no such thing.
232
00:15:09,355 --> 00:15:11,516
I merely tried to point out
that there is an issue
233
00:15:11,607 --> 00:15:13,313
in this country today
that has to do with
234
00:15:13,401 --> 00:15:15,687
the equal rights of man.
235
00:15:15,778 --> 00:15:17,393
What kind of dinner
is this, huh?
236
00:15:17,488 --> 00:15:19,979
Eskimos chew on blubber.
237
00:15:20,074 --> 00:15:22,565
There's your old
persecution complex.
238
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:23,991
Whenever you're hurt, attack.
239
00:15:24,078 --> 00:15:27,366
Well, that's what
this is all about.
240
00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,954
Althea: I don't want you
staying up too late, Burton.
241
00:15:33,045 --> 00:15:35,377
You should've done that
this afternoon.
242
00:15:35,965 --> 00:15:37,375
Go to sleep, dear.
243
00:15:37,466 --> 00:15:39,252
Maybe tomorrow morning
I'll let you watch
244
00:15:39,343 --> 00:15:41,425
your father
run out of the house.
245
00:15:43,931 --> 00:15:46,889
Burton: Why can't he walk
like everybody else?
246
00:15:46,976 --> 00:15:49,388
Perhaps he's afraid
somebody will catch him.
247
00:15:49,478 --> 00:15:51,389
Kids at school laugh at him.
248
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,892
They call me "son of speedy".
249
00:15:54,024 --> 00:15:56,310
Why does daddy
race buses, mommy?
250
00:15:56,861 --> 00:15:58,726
Nobody seems to know, dear.
251
00:15:58,821 --> 00:16:01,483
Is it like
some people save stamps?
252
00:16:01,574 --> 00:16:02,734
Althea: Yes, exactly.
253
00:16:02,825 --> 00:16:05,612
Some people save stamps,
some make model airplanes,
254
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:07,659
some drink, some smoke pot.
255
00:16:07,746 --> 00:16:10,203
Well, your father races buses.
256
00:16:10,458 --> 00:16:13,074
If he smoked pot,
he'd get there faster.
257
00:16:16,088 --> 00:16:18,249
Good night, children.
258
00:16:40,029 --> 00:16:43,613
Jeff: Our house is worth
$37,000 on the open market.
259
00:16:43,699 --> 00:16:44,939
Althea: Mmm, that's nice.
260
00:16:45,034 --> 00:16:46,994
Jeff: That's 17 per cent more
than we paid for it.
261
00:16:47,077 --> 00:16:49,989
- Althea: Mmm, you need a haircut.
Jeff: Oh.
262
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,163
Are we gonna get ready for bed
early tonight? It's Wednesday.
263
00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:55,206
- Jeff: Wednesday?
Althea: Mm-hmm.
264
00:16:55,294 --> 00:16:56,625
Jeff: It's Monday.
265
00:16:56,754 --> 00:17:01,214
- Althea: Let's pretend it's Wednesday.
- Jeff:
266
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,290
Althea: Forget it.
267
00:17:05,513 --> 00:17:07,003
I'm going to bed.
268
00:17:08,474 --> 00:17:09,964
You'll know where to find me.
269
00:17:10,976 --> 00:17:12,182
Yes.
270
00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:45,374
How come you're not
watching the riots?
271
00:17:46,345 --> 00:17:47,881
Haven't started yet.
272
00:17:48,889 --> 00:17:50,379
What's the movie?
273
00:17:51,308 --> 00:17:52,388
I don't know.
274
00:17:52,851 --> 00:17:54,387
What's the commercial?
275
00:17:54,853 --> 00:17:56,389
I don't know.
276
00:17:56,897 --> 00:17:59,354
Keep yourself pretty
well-informed, don't you?
277
00:17:59,441 --> 00:18:01,147
I think we have to
face up to something.
278
00:18:01,235 --> 00:18:03,977
- Oh, look. Don't start.
- You can't stand the sight of me.
279
00:18:04,071 --> 00:18:07,108
I can so.
You can't stand to touch me.
280
00:18:07,533 --> 00:18:09,114
Wrong again.
281
00:18:09,201 --> 00:18:11,112
There's no passion in our life.
282
00:18:11,203 --> 00:18:13,660
There's plenty of passion
in our life.
283
00:18:17,167 --> 00:18:19,909
Let's pretend it's Wednesday.
284
00:18:20,462 --> 00:18:21,702
Huh?
285
00:18:23,465 --> 00:18:26,832
- Look, sweetie, I've had a hard day.
- I know you're tired, but...
286
00:18:26,969 --> 00:18:29,676
At least let me wake up
on your side of the bed
287
00:18:29,763 --> 00:18:31,970
like we used to,
Thursday mornings.
288
00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:50,068
As soon as Janice was born,
we stopped going to bed.
289
00:18:50,159 --> 00:18:52,571
Now, that's an exaggeration.
290
00:18:52,661 --> 00:18:55,118
We can't afford
more than two children.
291
00:18:55,456 --> 00:18:58,072
Unless we have six at one time.
292
00:18:58,167 --> 00:18:59,577
That way, everything's free.
293
00:18:59,668 --> 00:19:02,956
And we can give them all away,
except the spotted one.
294
00:19:03,047 --> 00:19:05,459
We can make love without
having children, you know.
295
00:19:05,549 --> 00:19:07,710
There are methods,
there are devices.
296
00:19:07,801 --> 00:19:08,961
They're not foolproof.
297
00:19:09,053 --> 00:19:11,510
They are if you use them all
at the same time.
298
00:19:11,639 --> 00:19:14,472
I'm not making love
to any heavy tank.
299
00:19:14,558 --> 00:19:17,516
I've still got some
good years left, Jeff.
300
00:19:17,770 --> 00:19:19,306
Oh, Jesus.
301
00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:22,471
I take something,
302
00:19:22,566 --> 00:19:24,807
and I wear something,
303
00:19:25,778 --> 00:19:29,737
and I keep count, and if you...
304
00:19:29,823 --> 00:19:32,986
_jeffl
305
00:19:35,621 --> 00:19:36,781
Jeff.
306
00:19:49,301 --> 00:19:52,885
Man on TV: We were so right
to come here, dearest.
307
00:19:52,971 --> 00:19:55,383
To get away.
308
00:19:55,474 --> 00:19:57,760
Woman: Yes, Ralph, I know.
309
00:19:57,851 --> 00:19:59,387
It's lovely.
310
00:19:59,478 --> 00:20:01,810
Ralph: Being with you, Sylvia.
311
00:20:02,231 --> 00:20:04,643
Sylvia: Being with you, Ralph.
312
00:20:19,248 --> 00:20:21,660
Newsreader:
It marks the first time
313
00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:23,911
federalised troops
have been used in this city.
314
00:20:24,002 --> 00:20:26,789
Black leaders have warned that
should such a situation...
315
00:21:15,763 --> 00:21:18,379
How... now...
316
00:21:18,849 --> 00:21:21,886
Brown... cow.
317
00:21:26,565 --> 00:21:28,271
It's a nightmare.
318
00:21:28,358 --> 00:21:31,475
That's what it is, old buddy.
A nightmare.
319
00:21:32,821 --> 00:21:34,777
Must be something you ate.
320
00:21:35,407 --> 00:21:37,272
That's right, something you ate.
321
00:21:39,745 --> 00:21:41,656
Put up your hands!
322
00:21:42,289 --> 00:21:44,325
Give me your high school ring!
323
00:21:44,958 --> 00:21:46,448
A nightmare.
324
00:21:47,961 --> 00:21:49,872
Or too much sun lamp.
325
00:21:49,963 --> 00:21:52,249
Boy, what a great sun lamp.
326
00:22:33,549 --> 00:22:35,505
Althea.
327
00:22:35,592 --> 00:22:38,334
I'm having a nightmare
about my sun lamp.
328
00:22:44,059 --> 00:22:45,924
So don't wake up,
329
00:22:48,063 --> 00:22:50,054
and try and talk me out of it.
330
00:22:51,066 --> 00:22:53,352
It's just a little nightmare
331
00:22:53,443 --> 00:22:55,729
about a great sun lamp.
332
00:22:59,992 --> 00:23:02,074
I'm going back to bed now,
333
00:23:03,453 --> 00:23:06,035
and I know that when I wake up
again in the morning,
334
00:23:06,123 --> 00:23:09,832
my skin'll be lovely and white.
335
00:23:13,255 --> 00:23:15,792
So just stay asleep, althea.
336
00:23:17,009 --> 00:23:19,466
Because as long
as you're asleep,
337
00:23:19,553 --> 00:23:21,384
it's a nightmare.
338
00:23:23,515 --> 00:23:25,471
But if you wake up,
339
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,391
and begin screaming,
340
00:23:29,021 --> 00:23:32,138
it won't be a nightmare anymore.
341
00:23:34,026 --> 00:23:36,768
And I don't want that to happen.
342
00:23:38,530 --> 00:23:40,771
So just stay asleep, althea.
343
00:23:41,825 --> 00:23:45,363
As long as you're asleep,
it's a nightmare.
344
00:23:46,538 --> 00:23:51,453
And all night long,
it'll be a nightmare.
345
00:23:53,045 --> 00:23:55,127
It's a nightmare.
346
00:23:59,051 --> 00:24:00,916
It's a nightmare.
347
00:24:03,055 --> 00:24:05,091
It's not a nightmare!
348
00:24:10,145 --> 00:24:12,352
Sure is an even tan.
349
00:24:18,570 --> 00:24:20,106
What a great sun lamp!
350
00:24:22,199 --> 00:24:26,238
What a great nightmare
about a great sun lamp.
351
00:24:34,002 --> 00:24:36,118
That's an old wives' tale.
352
00:24:59,778 --> 00:25:00,984
Daddy?
353
00:25:01,113 --> 00:25:04,321
Mommy says I can watch you
run out of the house today.
354
00:25:04,449 --> 00:25:07,316
- Dad, you in the shower?
- Jeff: Yes!
355
00:25:07,411 --> 00:25:09,823
I'm having a nightmare.
356
00:25:10,414 --> 00:25:12,245
Can we watch you
run out of the house?
357
00:25:12,374 --> 00:25:15,832
Er... no, sweetheart, I...
I won't be going to work today.
358
00:25:15,919 --> 00:25:17,784
I'm not feeling well.
359
00:25:18,046 --> 00:25:19,661
But mommy said!
360
00:25:20,716 --> 00:25:23,002
Dad, whole house
is getting steamed up.
361
00:25:23,218 --> 00:25:24,924
So's your old man.
362
00:25:25,053 --> 00:25:27,089
Listen, Burton? Yeah?
363
00:25:27,472 --> 00:25:29,838
Tell your mother to get
you both off to school,
364
00:25:29,933 --> 00:25:31,423
and then come in here.
365
00:25:31,518 --> 00:25:33,975
You mean you won't be
racing the bus today?
366
00:25:34,062 --> 00:25:36,769
Don't ever bring up
the race issue again.
367
00:25:39,860 --> 00:25:43,273
Jeff: Oh, lord,
I've never been a religious man.
368
00:25:43,613 --> 00:25:45,729
I won't try to
kid you about that.
369
00:25:46,158 --> 00:25:48,274
I don't go to church,
and I only pray
370
00:25:48,368 --> 00:25:50,233
when I'm feeling
scared or rotten.
371
00:25:50,328 --> 00:25:52,239
I meant to pray last night.
372
00:25:52,330 --> 00:25:54,742
Perhaps you're angry
because I didn't.
373
00:25:55,208 --> 00:25:58,245
Anyway, lord,
I'm in trouble now,
374
00:25:58,336 --> 00:26:00,668
which is why
I'm trying to make contact.
375
00:26:00,756 --> 00:26:04,920
Please, lord, make it all be
a terrific nightmare,
376
00:26:05,052 --> 00:26:09,421
and will you see a nice person
come out of this shower?
377
00:26:09,848 --> 00:26:14,182
I want you to know
that I am a true believer.
378
00:26:14,394 --> 00:26:17,386
There are no atheists
in this shower.
379
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:22,683
I'm prayin' now, lord.
Do you hear me?
380
00:26:22,778 --> 00:26:26,362
If you hear me,
don't say or do anything.
381
00:26:27,866 --> 00:26:30,983
Good. Okay, lord,
382
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:34,031
I'm comin' out now,
383
00:26:34,206 --> 00:26:37,869
and I wouldn't care
if I gained 20 pounds,
384
00:26:38,585 --> 00:26:40,371
as long as I'm white.
385
00:26:41,505 --> 00:26:43,496
Here I come, lord.
386
00:26:46,927 --> 00:26:50,215
Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, there's
a negro in your shower!
387
00:26:50,305 --> 00:26:51,841
Jeff: It is not a negro!
388
00:26:51,932 --> 00:26:53,326
Althea: Yes, yes, yes,
it is, it is.
389
00:26:53,350 --> 00:26:55,511
I saw him.
Call the police, he'll kill us.
390
00:26:55,685 --> 00:26:58,643
Jeff: I am not a negro. I'm me.
391
00:26:59,106 --> 00:27:01,267
Althea: If this is
another one of your jokes...
392
00:27:01,358 --> 00:27:02,723
Jeff: Now look, althea,
393
00:27:02,818 --> 00:27:04,683
I'm coming out
of the shower again
394
00:27:04,778 --> 00:27:07,190
and I want no screaming,
you hear?
395
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,191
Now, there's
a logical answer to this,
396
00:27:09,324 --> 00:27:10,655
but we'll never find out
397
00:27:10,742 --> 00:27:13,484
if I dry up into a prune
in this shower.
398
00:27:13,620 --> 00:27:16,453
Now, I'm coming out again,
you hear? Okay?
399
00:27:17,749 --> 00:27:19,990
Yes. Okay.
400
00:27:20,085 --> 00:27:22,076
Jeff: Now, hand me a towel.
401
00:27:27,467 --> 00:27:29,879
All right. Here I come,
402
00:27:30,011 --> 00:27:31,467
ready or not.
403
00:27:32,055 --> 00:27:34,421
Open your eyes, althea,
I need a friendly opinion.
404
00:27:36,977 --> 00:27:40,561
Did you have to give me
a white towel, you simp?
405
00:27:40,939 --> 00:27:44,648
Boy, you sure have a warped
sense of humour, baby.
406
00:27:44,734 --> 00:27:46,941
Oh, my god! Oh, my good god!
407
00:27:47,028 --> 00:27:48,768
Oh, shut up! There is no god.
408
00:27:48,864 --> 00:27:50,445
He don't give a damn.
409
00:27:50,657 --> 00:27:52,443
You... you look like a negro.
410
00:27:52,701 --> 00:27:54,191
I know what I look like.
Shut up!
411
00:27:54,411 --> 00:27:55,776
I mean a dark one. I mean...
412
00:27:55,871 --> 00:27:57,452
I mean, if I didn't know you...
413
00:27:57,539 --> 00:27:58,949
Will you shut up, althea?
414
00:27:59,082 --> 00:28:01,573
Oh, oh, should I hide the money?
415
00:28:01,793 --> 00:28:03,408
Oh, you are hilarious.
416
00:28:05,005 --> 00:28:07,417
How do you know you're you?
417
00:28:07,841 --> 00:28:09,547
That's the dumbest thing
you've ever said.
418
00:28:09,634 --> 00:28:11,090
Of course I know it's me.
419
00:28:11,219 --> 00:28:13,926
I can tell from my bridge work.
Look. See? Huh? Huh?
420
00:28:14,014 --> 00:28:15,629
Your teeth are very white.
421
00:28:15,765 --> 00:28:16,925
That's the contrast.
422
00:28:17,017 --> 00:28:18,427
And your hair.
423
00:28:18,518 --> 00:28:20,634
My hair's always been
naturally curly.
424
00:28:20,729 --> 00:28:23,015
Wh... what about
your birthmarks?
425
00:28:23,648 --> 00:28:25,513
I can't find them anymore.
426
00:28:25,775 --> 00:28:28,482
Maybe I've been overdoing
the sun lamp a bit.
427
00:28:28,570 --> 00:28:31,437
A bit! If you spent
as much time in bed
428
00:28:31,531 --> 00:28:32,771
as you do under that sun lamp,
429
00:28:32,949 --> 00:28:34,610
maybe we would have
more children.
430
00:28:34,701 --> 00:28:36,566
This is no time to discuss
additional children.
431
00:28:36,661 --> 00:28:38,639
No, I should say not.
What would the neighbours think?
432
00:28:38,663 --> 00:28:40,528
A lot of half-coloured kids
running around!
433
00:28:40,665 --> 00:28:42,906
- I am not coloured!
- Well, that's your story.
434
00:28:43,001 --> 00:28:45,037
When's the last time
you looked in the mirror?
435
00:28:45,128 --> 00:28:46,789
It's the sun lamp, isn't it?
436
00:28:46,922 --> 00:28:48,913
Because you wouldn't be
teasing me like that
437
00:28:49,007 --> 00:28:50,417
if it wasn't the sun lamp,
438
00:28:50,508 --> 00:28:51,819
'cause you're not a cruel person.
439
00:28:51,843 --> 00:28:54,129
- Don't you touch Mel!
- Oh, boy, you are a treat.
440
00:28:54,262 --> 00:28:56,469
You're something to have
around in an emergency.
441
00:28:56,556 --> 00:28:59,593
You know... you know,
it's very strange.
442
00:28:59,684 --> 00:29:02,300
My mother always thought you were
a little on the dark side.
443
00:29:02,395 --> 00:29:04,556
I mean, she never came
right out and asked me.
444
00:29:04,648 --> 00:29:07,981
Your mother is in no position
to judge other people's races.
445
00:29:08,109 --> 00:29:11,192
The way her eyes slant up, my mother
always thought she was Chinese.
446
00:29:11,529 --> 00:29:13,861
- Silliest thing I ever heard.
- Oh, yeah?
447
00:29:14,074 --> 00:29:16,315
Well, then, how come
her feet are so small?
448
00:29:16,409 --> 00:29:18,650
And how come, whenever you
asked her when she was born,
449
00:29:18,745 --> 00:29:20,345
she always says
"the year of the dragon"?
450
00:29:20,455 --> 00:29:22,616
And how come she was
always so anxious to...
451
00:29:22,707 --> 00:29:24,117
To wash my shirts?
452
00:29:24,209 --> 00:29:26,621
Does that sound like
a white woman to you, huh?
453
00:29:26,711 --> 00:29:29,123
My mother has
almond-shaped eyes.
454
00:29:29,214 --> 00:29:32,206
So has mao tse-tung.
And she eats too damn much rice.
455
00:29:32,300 --> 00:29:34,632
If you ask me, she's a
member of the red guard.
456
00:29:34,719 --> 00:29:36,004
All right, Jeff, all right,
457
00:29:36,096 --> 00:29:38,132
but it isn't a Chinese issue
we are discussing.
458
00:29:38,223 --> 00:29:39,929
We're discussing a negro issue.
459
00:29:40,016 --> 00:29:43,099
- It's a sun lamp issue!
- Well, that may very well be,
460
00:29:43,186 --> 00:29:46,223
but you certainly can't go
to the office like that.
461
00:29:46,314 --> 00:29:48,771
Oh, my god, what time is it?
462
00:29:48,858 --> 00:29:50,723
Gladys is in the office now.
463
00:29:50,819 --> 00:29:53,310
That is the first thing.
I gotta report in sick.
464
00:29:54,781 --> 00:29:57,864
You can't tell her that
you woke up sunburned.
465
00:29:57,951 --> 00:30:00,408
Sometime, althea, sometime...
466
00:30:04,082 --> 00:30:06,494
Look, I won't be
coming in today.
467
00:30:06,584 --> 00:30:09,041
Well, I'm, er...
Feeling a bit off colour.
468
00:30:10,964 --> 00:30:12,500
Anyway, um... Gladys,
469
00:30:12,590 --> 00:30:15,878
er... look, just cancel all my
appointments for the day, okay?
470
00:30:15,969 --> 00:30:18,005
Tell 'em [I'll call 'em
tomorrow, okay?
471
00:30:18,096 --> 00:30:19,927
Okay. Thank you.
472
00:30:20,598 --> 00:30:23,385
The trick is to be
logical and rational.
473
00:30:23,476 --> 00:30:26,013
I got a warranty around here
for that sun lamp.
474
00:30:26,104 --> 00:30:28,641
Let's see,
logical and rational, yeah.
475
00:30:28,773 --> 00:30:30,980
You really think it's
the sun lamp, don't you?
476
00:30:31,067 --> 00:30:32,907
Oh, you'd like me to be
coloured, wouldn't you?
477
00:30:32,986 --> 00:30:34,897
Well, not really.
But it would serve you right
478
00:30:34,988 --> 00:30:36,899
with that attitude
of white supremacy.
479
00:30:36,990 --> 00:30:39,430
Well, 1 didn't see you exactly
runnin' over to hug and kiss me
480
00:30:39,492 --> 00:30:40,982
when you thought I was a negro.
481
00:30:41,077 --> 00:30:44,490
I was upset because I thought
you were a stranger.
482
00:30:44,581 --> 00:30:46,492
Oh, beans! If it was
a white stranger
483
00:30:46,583 --> 00:30:49,495
came out of that shower,
you'da humped him.
484
00:30:49,586 --> 00:30:50,996
Ah, here it is.
485
00:30:51,171 --> 00:30:52,411
They're a reputable company.
486
00:30:52,505 --> 00:30:54,416
I'm sure this has
happened before.
487
00:30:54,507 --> 00:30:55,917
Althea: Yeah, all over Africa.
488
00:30:56,009 --> 00:30:58,466
Oh, just keep it up, baby.
Just keep it up.
489
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:12,314
Hello, I'd like to speak to
somebody with regard to
490
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,437
your sun lamp model lt34x.
491
00:31:15,528 --> 00:31:17,439
Oh, it's working, all right.
492
00:31:17,530 --> 00:31:20,192
A little bit too well.
Ah, thank you.
493
00:31:20,283 --> 00:31:22,194
They're switching me
to the manager.
494
00:31:22,285 --> 00:31:24,196
Hello, my name is gerber.
495
00:31:24,287 --> 00:31:28,121
I've got one of your
model lt34x sun lamps.
496
00:31:28,750 --> 00:31:32,709
Er... serial number 36677231.
497
00:31:33,338 --> 00:31:35,044
Ah, yeah.
Well, the problem is...
498
00:31:35,131 --> 00:31:36,996
That's an old wives' tale.
Excuse me.
499
00:31:37,092 --> 00:31:40,004
Er... the problem is, er...
It's made me rather dark.
500
00:31:40,095 --> 00:31:41,095
Whew!
501
00:31:41,137 --> 00:31:44,049
Well, a little darker
than was necessary.
502
00:31:44,140 --> 00:31:48,258
Ah, yes, once in the morning,
and, er... once at night.
503
00:31:48,353 --> 00:31:50,218
Yes, I... l use a lotion.
504
00:31:50,313 --> 00:31:52,770
Well, it's kind of
my own concoction.
505
00:31:52,857 --> 00:31:57,271
Baby oil, cocoa butter,
iodine, and soy sauce.
506
00:31:58,863 --> 00:32:00,774
About one third soy sauce.
507
00:32:00,865 --> 00:32:02,571
Well, of course
you never heard of it.
508
00:32:02,659 --> 00:32:05,241
It's my own formula.
509
00:32:05,328 --> 00:32:07,284
Look, you don't
seem to understand.
510
00:32:07,372 --> 00:32:09,954
It's left me very tan.
511
00:32:10,834 --> 00:32:12,574
Yes, very.
512
00:32:13,837 --> 00:32:15,077
Dark.
513
00:32:16,339 --> 00:32:17,829
Very dark.
514
00:32:19,843 --> 00:32:22,255
Yes, very.
515
00:32:23,638 --> 00:32:25,219
You stupid...!
516
00:32:25,723 --> 00:32:27,554
No, it's not a joke.
517
00:32:27,642 --> 00:32:30,349
I am not sid percival
pulling your leg.
518
00:32:30,437 --> 00:32:34,350
42, tangerine Lane, and I'm
a dissatisfied customer.
519
00:32:34,441 --> 00:32:37,399
Hello? Hello? Hello?
520
00:32:38,278 --> 00:32:39,984
Can you beat that?
521
00:32:41,281 --> 00:32:43,317
They want to send me
a new sun lamp.
522
00:32:43,408 --> 00:32:45,364
Althea:
That's very sporting of them.
523
00:32:45,452 --> 00:32:47,452
What the hell am I going
to do with a new sun lamp?
524
00:32:47,537 --> 00:32:49,493
Well, maybe you could mate them.
525
00:32:50,999 --> 00:32:53,490
You're just
having a dandy time, boy.
526
00:32:53,585 --> 00:32:55,121
Oh, relax, Jeff.
527
00:32:55,211 --> 00:32:56,542
Althea,
528
00:32:56,629 --> 00:32:59,587
you wouldn't hug me unless you
really thought I was white, right?
529
00:32:59,674 --> 00:33:02,165
Oh, poor baby, don't worry.
530
00:33:02,260 --> 00:33:03,716
You'll be white again.
531
00:33:03,970 --> 00:33:05,926
Hey, wait a minute. “What is it?
532
00:33:06,347 --> 00:33:07,632
There are things that we can do.
533
00:33:07,724 --> 00:33:09,804
I mean, what do they do
when they want to look white?
534
00:33:09,851 --> 00:33:11,762
They must use salves and creams.
535
00:33:11,853 --> 00:33:13,263
And hair straighteners.
536
00:33:13,354 --> 00:33:15,515
I don't want
my hair straightened,
537
00:33:15,607 --> 00:33:16,767
I want my skin straightened!
538
00:33:16,858 --> 00:33:18,439
What the hell else
are we talkin' about?
539
00:33:18,526 --> 00:33:19,766
Where are you going?
540
00:33:19,861 --> 00:33:22,147
To one of their drugstores.
Call me a cab.
541
00:33:23,531 --> 00:33:25,021
Your cab's here.
542
00:33:26,367 --> 00:33:27,482
What are you doing?
543
00:33:27,577 --> 00:33:29,943
The door's not open on the cab.
544
00:33:30,038 --> 00:33:31,994
Go on out there and
open the door on the cab.
545
00:33:34,334 --> 00:33:35,665
Go on!
546
00:33:59,609 --> 00:34:01,474
Take me to the coloured section.
547
00:34:07,325 --> 00:34:09,281
Nice neighbourhood.
What do you do there?
548
00:34:09,369 --> 00:34:10,279
Mow the lawn?
549
00:34:10,370 --> 00:34:11,780
What do they pay you?
550
00:34:11,871 --> 00:34:13,827
I get to sleep with
the lady of the house.
551
00:34:15,708 --> 00:34:17,664
Would you put your hands down?
552
00:34:17,752 --> 00:34:20,164
All I want is a pair
of sunglasses. Now, look,
553
00:34:20,255 --> 00:34:22,166
I got a skin problem.
554
00:34:23,716 --> 00:34:25,707
What's this, and this?
Get me a paper bag.
555
00:34:25,802 --> 00:34:28,339
No, better yet, get me a box,
a box, big box.
556
00:34:28,638 --> 00:34:30,674
There you go.
All right, let's see now.
557
00:34:30,765 --> 00:34:32,005
Uh-huh, white, yeah.
558
00:34:32,100 --> 00:34:35,012
Okay, give me some of these.
Yeah. Pearl sheen.
559
00:34:35,103 --> 00:34:38,015
Uh-huh, all right.
Now, let's see, now.
560
00:34:38,106 --> 00:34:40,518
Ah, try some of this
white folk stuff here.
561
00:34:40,608 --> 00:34:42,064
Now, let's see here,
that's good.
562
00:34:42,151 --> 00:34:44,437
"Beautiful bleach."
That probably is great.
563
00:34:44,529 --> 00:34:46,315
"Miracle wash."
564
00:34:46,573 --> 00:34:48,404
Hair straightener. That'll help.
565
00:34:48,908 --> 00:34:50,944
More processing stuff, there.
566
00:34:51,035 --> 00:34:52,400
All right.
567
00:34:53,788 --> 00:34:58,532
You remember, if anybody asks you
if you ever saw me in here,
568
00:34:58,626 --> 00:35:01,538
you never laid eyes on me. Okay?
569
00:35:01,629 --> 00:35:03,585
Mum's the word.
570
00:35:09,971 --> 00:35:11,461
Any change?
571
00:35:11,973 --> 00:35:13,429
No.
572
00:35:13,516 --> 00:35:15,848
But I don't imagine
it would be immediate.
573
00:35:15,935 --> 00:35:17,926
I mean, I don't think
any intelligent negro
574
00:35:18,021 --> 00:35:21,104
expects it to be immediate.
Don't be so militant.
575
00:35:21,190 --> 00:35:23,977
It's different.
I'm not militant, I'm white.
576
00:35:24,110 --> 00:35:25,520
I expect it to be immediate.
577
00:35:25,945 --> 00:35:27,856
We've rubbed in
four different brands.
578
00:35:27,947 --> 00:35:29,357
Don't you think
we ought to stop?
579
00:35:29,616 --> 00:35:32,733
Well, come on, put on some more
hair straightener. Come on. Here.
580
00:35:38,750 --> 00:35:42,208
Jeff, I... I don't want you
to get all excited, but...
581
00:35:42,295 --> 00:35:44,707
I do think
you're a little lighter.
582
00:35:44,797 --> 00:35:47,209
It's hard to tell
through the cream, but...
583
00:35:47,300 --> 00:35:49,211
Yeah, I think you're right.
584
00:35:49,302 --> 00:35:50,712
Around the neck here, right?
585
00:35:50,803 --> 00:35:52,213
Especially around the neck.
586
00:35:52,305 --> 00:35:54,717
- Uh-huh, and around the chin?
- Yes, the chin, too.
587
00:35:54,807 --> 00:35:57,719
And around the nose, mmm? Yes.
588
00:35:57,810 --> 00:35:59,721
You're lying to me, althea!
589
00:35:59,812 --> 00:36:03,225
Don't lie to me, althea.
Just don't lie to me.
590
00:36:03,316 --> 00:36:07,355
Oh, this is crazy. I don't
want to be this colour.
591
00:36:07,487 --> 00:36:09,193
What are you doing up there?
592
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:10,280
Calm down.
593
00:36:10,365 --> 00:36:12,526
Oh, I'll yell all I want.
He can't hear me.
594
00:36:12,659 --> 00:36:14,024
He's the white man's god.
595
00:36:14,118 --> 00:36:15,654
Jeff, you are not a negro.
596
00:36:15,828 --> 00:36:18,194
Oh, my goodness,
I'm getting darker. I can see it.
597
00:36:18,289 --> 00:36:19,779
Come on.
Get all this crap off me.
598
00:36:19,874 --> 00:36:22,581
Come on, quick.
Oh, my god, I need more.
599
00:36:22,669 --> 00:36:25,126
Oh, come on, I'm getting darker.
600
00:36:25,213 --> 00:36:26,919
Jeff, calm down.
601
00:36:27,006 --> 00:36:28,917
I can't take a...
I can't take a shower,
602
00:36:29,008 --> 00:36:31,044
'cause if I take a shower,
my body'll shrink,
603
00:36:31,177 --> 00:36:34,010
and the skin I have
won't fit. Aaah!
604
00:36:34,555 --> 00:36:37,316
Will you calm down? The children
will be coming home from school soon,
605
00:36:37,350 --> 00:36:39,136
and I don't want you
getting them upset.
606
00:36:39,227 --> 00:36:42,094
Upset? Wait until they find out
they have a coloured daddy.
607
00:36:42,271 --> 00:36:45,013
Huh? Wait till I get down
my knee and I sing "mammy".
608
00:36:45,942 --> 00:36:47,542
You're gonna talk
yourself into it, Jeff.
609
00:36:47,568 --> 00:36:49,854
Oh, my goodness,
th-th-these creams don't work.
610
00:36:49,946 --> 00:36:51,857
No wonder negroes riot.
611
00:36:51,948 --> 00:36:54,109
I mean, these are
worthless hoaxes.
612
00:36:58,621 --> 00:37:00,111
Jeff: Hi.
613
00:37:04,252 --> 00:37:05,708
Hi.
614
00:37:06,754 --> 00:37:08,710
I'm your father.
615
00:37:08,798 --> 00:37:10,129
Sure. Hi, dad.
616
00:37:10,216 --> 00:37:11,251
Janice: Hi, dad.
617
00:37:11,634 --> 00:37:13,215
Um...
618
00:37:13,302 --> 00:37:15,293
Don't you have anything
you want to say to me?
619
00:37:15,388 --> 00:37:17,174
Your face is dirty.
620
00:37:17,265 --> 00:37:19,426
That's a nice thing
to say to your father.
621
00:37:19,517 --> 00:37:21,553
Sure is a heck of a tan
you got, dad.
622
00:37:21,644 --> 00:37:23,225
You look like a coloured man.
623
00:37:23,312 --> 00:37:25,052
That's very good.
Thank you, Burton.
624
00:37:25,148 --> 00:37:26,513
We could use you at the un.
625
00:37:26,607 --> 00:37:27,918
Come on, kids.
I'll get your dinner ready.
626
00:37:27,942 --> 00:37:29,022
Burton: What are we having?
627
00:37:29,068 --> 00:37:32,902
Oh, black-eyed peas,
hominy grits, corn bread, ham hocks.
628
00:37:33,030 --> 00:37:34,110
Burton: What's with him?
629
00:37:34,282 --> 00:37:37,194
Didn't get to race his bus
this morning. He's a little upset.
630
00:37:37,368 --> 00:37:39,324
Why are you doing that, daddy?
631
00:37:39,412 --> 00:37:40,447
Doing what, sweetheart?
632
00:37:40,538 --> 00:37:43,120
- Racing buses.
- Althea: Come on, Janice.
633
00:37:43,207 --> 00:37:45,823
You don't want your
ham hocks to get cold.
634
00:37:55,595 --> 00:37:57,551
In here, or in the dining room?
635
00:38:01,142 --> 00:38:02,757
What is it?
636
00:38:02,977 --> 00:38:04,592
I gotta see.
637
00:38:04,687 --> 00:38:06,769
Maybe it's the lighting in here.
638
00:38:06,856 --> 00:38:10,314
Maybe in the daylight,
I'll look less coloured.
639
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,100
What are you going to do?
640
00:38:14,530 --> 00:38:16,361
I'm gonna go for a walk.
641
00:38:16,449 --> 00:38:17,985
Where to?
642
00:38:18,534 --> 00:38:19,944
In our backyard.
643
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,111
How brave of you.
644
00:38:31,631 --> 00:38:34,168
Well, you're certainly
getting whiter whites these days.
645
00:38:34,258 --> 00:38:35,338
Aren't you, mrs Johnson?
646
00:38:35,426 --> 00:38:38,088
Mrs Johnson: Oh, yes,
I'm using a new detergent.
647
00:38:38,221 --> 00:38:40,132
Well, I wish you'd tell
my wife the brand,
648
00:38:40,223 --> 00:38:42,339
because we have a few things
around our house
649
00:38:42,433 --> 00:38:44,264
that really need whitening.
650
00:38:54,153 --> 00:38:55,893
Jeff, are you all right?
651
00:38:55,988 --> 00:38:57,068
Yeah.
652
00:38:57,532 --> 00:38:59,523
You're hardly breathing.
653
00:39:00,117 --> 00:39:02,028
I don't want to ruin it.
654
00:39:03,371 --> 00:39:05,362
You look like a birthday cake.
655
00:39:05,832 --> 00:39:07,697
Well, it's getting very late.
656
00:39:07,792 --> 00:39:09,703
Can't you at least
lie down in bed?
657
00:39:09,794 --> 00:39:12,831
Jeff: No, I'm afraid I'll roll over
and destroy the mould.
658
00:39:12,922 --> 00:39:14,878
Althea: Oh, all right.
659
00:39:15,633 --> 00:39:17,294
Althea? Yes?
660
00:39:17,385 --> 00:39:19,046
My last words:
661
00:39:19,637 --> 00:39:21,468
"Pray for me."
662
00:39:39,198 --> 00:39:42,861
Jeff? Jeff, are you asleep?
663
00:39:45,496 --> 00:39:47,236
My god, you've set!
664
00:39:47,331 --> 00:39:49,413
Jeff, Jeff, are you breathing?
665
00:39:56,632 --> 00:39:58,168
How to do this?
666
00:39:59,385 --> 00:40:01,751
I'll try not to hurt you.
667
00:40:02,305 --> 00:40:04,796
Oh, baby, I'm sorry about that.
668
00:40:09,395 --> 00:40:11,477
Jeff, can you speak?
How do you feel?
669
00:40:11,647 --> 00:40:14,354
- Can you speak?
- Like a broken leg.
670
00:40:14,442 --> 00:40:17,058
Oh, thank god you're all right.
671
00:40:17,361 --> 00:40:19,818
My god, it's going to strangle me.
672
00:40:19,906 --> 00:40:21,862
I'll have you out in a jiffy.
673
00:40:25,453 --> 00:40:27,614
Be careful with that chisel.
674
00:40:28,664 --> 00:40:31,371
Careful with that chisel,
I've got enough dimples.
675
00:40:33,377 --> 00:40:35,914
I think I'm getting
the hang of it now.
676
00:40:36,964 --> 00:40:38,704
What colour am 1?
677
00:40:38,799 --> 00:40:40,630
Er... well, er...
678
00:40:40,718 --> 00:40:43,004
Er... I'll have
to open the blinds.
679
00:40:43,095 --> 00:40:44,380
Wait a moment, do it gradually.
680
00:40:44,472 --> 00:40:46,087
Remove a little around the ears.
681
00:40:46,182 --> 00:40:47,638
All righty.
682
00:40:51,020 --> 00:40:52,430
What colour am 1?
683
00:40:52,521 --> 00:40:54,933
Er... did you drink
any more milk?
684
00:40:55,024 --> 00:40:56,685
Yeah, I had another quart,
685
00:40:56,817 --> 00:40:58,432
and then my hand was paralysed.
686
00:40:58,527 --> 00:41:01,314
Oh, poor thing. You know,
if we'd only known,
687
00:41:01,405 --> 00:41:04,442
I could've rigged you
up a tube or something.
688
00:41:04,533 --> 00:41:06,444
What colour am I, althea?
689
00:41:06,535 --> 00:41:09,151
Well, er... let's see.
690
00:41:09,914 --> 00:41:12,906
Tell me the truth,
but tell me I'm white, althea.
691
00:41:13,918 --> 00:41:15,408
You're white.
692
00:41:16,420 --> 00:41:18,331
Oh, god.
693
00:41:18,422 --> 00:41:19,787
Dark white.
694
00:41:19,924 --> 00:41:20,924
What?
695
00:41:20,967 --> 00:41:22,377
Well, I'm sure you're white,
696
00:41:22,468 --> 00:41:24,299
but you're a little
on the dark side.
697
00:41:24,428 --> 00:41:26,419
Wait a moment.
Get me to a mirror!
698
00:41:30,518 --> 00:41:33,305
I'm black! I'm black!
699
00:41:33,396 --> 00:41:35,978
I'm black!
700
00:41:36,482 --> 00:41:39,474
I'm black!
701
00:41:42,321 --> 00:41:44,482
I'm a nigger!
702
00:41:44,865 --> 00:41:45,980
I'm a nigger!
703
00:41:46,075 --> 00:41:47,611
Jeff, you'll have a stroke!
704
00:41:47,702 --> 00:41:49,818
I don't want a stroke.
I want appendicitis.
705
00:41:49,912 --> 00:41:52,824
I want to throw myself under a bridge,
out of a window.
706
00:41:54,917 --> 00:41:57,750
Althea,
I want my whiteness back!
707
00:41:57,837 --> 00:41:58,837
On!
708
00:41:58,921 --> 00:42:02,163
Where's that schmucky white knight
on that schmucky white horse?
709
00:42:02,258 --> 00:42:06,297
Stick me! Stick me!
Turn me white. Rinso-white!
710
00:42:06,387 --> 00:42:09,129
- Rinso-white!
- Jeff, the neighbours!
711
00:42:09,223 --> 00:42:11,179
The neighbours, the neighbours,
the neighbours!
712
00:42:11,267 --> 00:42:14,634
The neighbours'll crap
when they see me!
713
00:42:14,729 --> 00:42:17,141
There goes the neighbourhood!
There it goes, boys!
714
00:42:17,231 --> 00:42:18,471
Jeff, stop that!
715
00:42:18,566 --> 00:42:21,227
I'm black!
716
00:42:26,991 --> 00:42:28,902
Oh, milk.
717
00:42:28,993 --> 00:42:32,906
Oh, cleanse me, o great milk.
718
00:42:32,997 --> 00:42:33,907
Ah!
719
00:42:33,998 --> 00:42:36,660
Oh, clean me, great milk.
720
00:42:36,751 --> 00:42:39,163
Make me free again.
721
00:42:39,336 --> 00:42:41,873
You're white. You're a nut,
but you're white.
722
00:42:41,964 --> 00:42:44,084
I want all the mirrors removed
from this house, woman.
723
00:42:44,133 --> 00:42:47,125
That's a direct order
from your husband, othello.
724
00:42:47,219 --> 00:42:49,130
Oh, you stupid little boy!
725
00:42:49,221 --> 00:42:51,132
Is this the way
you face a problem?
726
00:42:51,223 --> 00:42:52,133
- What?
- Shut up!
727
00:42:52,224 --> 00:42:53,714
You've abused your skin.
728
00:42:53,809 --> 00:42:55,345
You've dyed your skin.
729
00:42:55,478 --> 00:42:59,972
Yes, yes, I... I did.
Wasn't that silly of me?
730
00:43:00,149 --> 00:43:01,434
It was stupid.
731
00:43:01,525 --> 00:43:03,732
Yes, stupid. Insane.
732
00:43:03,861 --> 00:43:04,896
Insane.
733
00:43:04,987 --> 00:43:06,477
- Crazy.
- Crazy.
734
00:43:06,572 --> 00:43:08,608
- Idiotic.
- Shut up!
735
00:43:08,699 --> 00:43:10,735
Well, I gotta get back to work.
736
00:43:11,452 --> 00:43:13,488
You might as well
forget this day, and...
737
00:43:13,662 --> 00:43:15,823
So just relax.
The kids are off to school.
738
00:43:15,915 --> 00:43:17,826
Come on down,
I'll make you some breakfast.
739
00:43:17,917 --> 00:43:21,751
I am not sure this emotionalising
isn't retarding your skin
740
00:43:21,837 --> 00:43:23,998
from returning
to its normal colour.
741
00:43:24,090 --> 00:43:28,299
You're making great sense, althea.
I don't know, maybe...
742
00:43:28,385 --> 00:43:31,343
Maybe we needed this
little emergency to, er...
743
00:43:31,430 --> 00:43:33,716
Make us realise how much we...
744
00:43:33,808 --> 00:43:36,015
Need and love each other.
745
00:43:37,436 --> 00:43:39,347
I sure hate to think
every married couple
746
00:43:39,438 --> 00:43:41,144
has to get
all shook up like this
747
00:43:41,232 --> 00:43:44,099
just to see
how much they're in love!
748
00:43:46,237 --> 00:43:49,195
No riots yesterday.
Maybe that's a good omen.
749
00:43:50,699 --> 00:43:54,191
Jeff, the ku klux klan
never rings the bell.
750
00:44:00,543 --> 00:44:01,953
Ah, gerber? Yes.
751
00:44:02,044 --> 00:44:04,501
Couple packages here.
I want you sign right here.
752
00:44:04,588 --> 00:44:05,998
We didn't order anything.
753
00:44:06,090 --> 00:44:07,546
Sun lamp!
754
00:44:07,925 --> 00:44:10,962
Now, just put it there, right on here.
755
00:44:12,096 --> 00:44:13,336
Jeff, stop it!
756
00:44:13,556 --> 00:44:14,636
Jeff!
757
00:44:16,142 --> 00:44:17,142
Jeff!
758
00:44:18,644 --> 00:44:21,056
- Wait a minute!
- Jeff! Jeff, stop!
759
00:44:21,188 --> 00:44:22,598
Get me out of here!
760
00:44:22,690 --> 00:44:24,646
Jeff, Jeff, Jeff!
761
00:44:25,401 --> 00:44:26,857
I don't think I know you!
762
00:44:26,944 --> 00:44:28,935
Althea:
Jeff, back! I said, back.
763
00:44:29,029 --> 00:44:30,735
Jeff! Jeff!
764
00:44:33,033 --> 00:44:34,898
Althea: Back!
Back, I said! Back!
765
00:44:34,994 --> 00:44:38,202
Back! Back! Back, Jeff, back!
766
00:44:38,289 --> 00:44:42,373
Back, back, I said! Back!
767
00:44:42,459 --> 00:44:44,324
Way back. Just get back.
768
00:44:44,420 --> 00:44:46,752
Althea: Back, back, back.
769
00:44:46,839 --> 00:44:50,502
Back, back, back.
I said, Jeff, back down.
770
00:44:53,512 --> 00:44:56,424
Jesus! Talk about black power.
771
00:44:56,515 --> 00:44:58,380
I'm... I'm terribly sorry.
772
00:44:58,475 --> 00:45:02,138
That's all right. Never mind.
773
00:45:02,605 --> 00:45:04,596
I must have the wrong address.
Put it on my head.
774
00:45:04,690 --> 00:45:06,476
- Why?
- Huh? Why?
775
00:45:06,567 --> 00:45:10,105
That guy needs a sun lamp like
Fred Astaire needs dancing lessons.
776
00:45:10,196 --> 00:45:12,983
Look, just close the door
behind me, that's all. Let me go.
777
00:45:26,670 --> 00:45:29,161
I heard. I heard him.
778
00:45:29,423 --> 00:45:32,290
- Althea: So, you heard.
- He thinks I'm coloured.
779
00:45:32,927 --> 00:45:35,043
So what?
You thought you were coloured
780
00:45:35,179 --> 00:45:37,841
until you learned the fact
you thought you were coloured, right?
781
00:45:37,932 --> 00:45:38,967
So?
782
00:45:39,141 --> 00:45:41,598
So why shouldn't
he think you're coloured?
783
00:45:43,479 --> 00:45:45,390
You're right again, althea.
784
00:45:45,481 --> 00:45:49,065
I tell you, you're a growing
source of strength to me.
785
00:45:49,151 --> 00:45:52,894
- You could've killed that man.
- I suppose so.
786
00:45:52,988 --> 00:45:55,024
The negroes in this city
have enough trouble
787
00:45:55,115 --> 00:45:57,231
without your killing
a white man.
788
00:46:00,579 --> 00:46:02,695
And what is that
supposed to mean?
789
00:46:06,126 --> 00:46:08,208
What's wrong with dad, mom?
790
00:46:08,295 --> 00:46:09,751
Too much sun lamp.
791
00:46:09,922 --> 00:46:12,083
Jeff: "Ooga, booga, doo.
792
00:46:12,174 --> 00:46:14,586
"I'm getting whiter and whiter.
793
00:46:14,677 --> 00:46:17,384
"Ooga, booga, dooga, doo."
794
00:46:17,471 --> 00:46:21,680
"Ooga, booga, dooga, doo."
Me, friend.
795
00:46:22,059 --> 00:46:23,595
Not funny.
796
00:46:23,686 --> 00:46:25,642
You got enough milk?
797
00:46:26,146 --> 00:46:27,181
Yeah.
798
00:46:27,314 --> 00:46:29,100
You think you're
getting any whiter?
799
00:46:29,191 --> 00:46:32,103
No, but my skin
is getting lovely and soft.
800
00:46:32,194 --> 00:46:33,755
You know, you've
been in there three hours.
801
00:46:33,779 --> 00:46:35,644
You're going to marinate.
802
00:46:35,823 --> 00:46:37,108
Isn't it cold?
803
00:46:37,199 --> 00:46:38,109
Yeah, a little.
804
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:39,610
Want me to warm it up a little?
805
00:46:39,702 --> 00:46:41,658
You know I hate warm milk.
806
00:46:42,162 --> 00:46:44,619
Have you decided whether or not
you're going to work tomorrow?
807
00:46:44,707 --> 00:46:45,913
I'm going to work.
808
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,353
I promised the kids they could
watch you run out of the house.
809
00:46:48,377 --> 00:46:49,771
Did you promise them
they could stay up
810
00:46:49,795 --> 00:46:52,912
and watch the cross burn
on our front lawn?
811
00:46:53,507 --> 00:46:56,044
Well, is there
anything I can get you?
812
00:46:56,135 --> 00:46:59,468
A box of Graham crackers,
or some bosco?
813
00:46:59,596 --> 00:47:01,928
I don't need companionship.
814
00:47:02,016 --> 00:47:04,052
I've got my book.
815
00:47:04,143 --> 00:47:07,556
Yes, I know.
Voodoo without killing chickens.
816
00:47:07,646 --> 00:47:11,104
They tell me at the library
it's number one in Haiti.
817
00:47:13,610 --> 00:47:15,601
"Ooga, booga, dooga, doo."
818
00:47:15,946 --> 00:47:17,561
Althea:
"Ooga, booga, dooga, doo."
819
00:47:17,656 --> 00:47:19,112
Bon voyage.
820
00:47:19,616 --> 00:47:21,607
"Ooga, booga, dooga, doo.
821
00:47:22,953 --> 00:47:25,035
"Ooga, dooga, booga, do."
822
00:47:26,623 --> 00:47:29,490
The bus! The bus is coming! Yay!
823
00:47:32,254 --> 00:47:33,619
Both children: Yay!
824
00:47:45,726 --> 00:47:47,432
Passenger: There he is!
Back in action!
825
00:47:51,065 --> 00:47:52,917
Passenger ♪2: Let's go, man.
Let's go. Let's go.
826
00:47:52,941 --> 00:47:54,181
Passenger ♪3: Is that him?
827
00:47:54,276 --> 00:47:56,642
What happened to him?
828
00:47:56,779 --> 00:47:57,609
Passenger ♪4:
Of course it's him.
829
00:47:57,780 --> 00:47:58,895
Has to be him.
830
00:47:58,989 --> 00:48:00,342
Passenger ♪4:
What happened to him?
831
00:48:00,366 --> 00:48:02,635
Son of a bitch! Look, somebody
might've killed him by now.
832
00:48:02,659 --> 00:48:03,774
It's him!
833
00:48:11,418 --> 00:48:13,500
Passenger: He's catching up!
He's catching up!
834
00:48:33,273 --> 00:48:35,935
Passengers: Hey! Hey! Hey!
835
00:48:46,620 --> 00:48:48,156
Police!
836
00:49:15,149 --> 00:49:17,060
Stop! Thief!
837
00:49:21,613 --> 00:49:24,070
Where are you running,
seabiscuit?
838
00:49:24,158 --> 00:49:25,819
My bus!
839
00:49:26,743 --> 00:49:29,155
Sure. What's in the case?
840
00:49:30,038 --> 00:49:31,369
Shoes.
841
00:49:31,874 --> 00:49:33,034
Whose?
842
00:49:34,376 --> 00:49:36,241
Mine.
843
00:49:36,462 --> 00:49:38,453
Woman ♪1: Neighbourhood
isn't safe anymore.
844
00:49:38,547 --> 00:49:40,287
Jeff: I didn't do anything!
845
00:49:40,382 --> 00:49:42,293
Woman ♪1: Neighbourhood
isn't safe anymore.
846
00:49:42,384 --> 00:49:44,295
Woman ♪2:
It's terrible. Just terrible.
847
00:49:44,386 --> 00:49:45,717
Break it up.
848
00:49:45,804 --> 00:49:48,671
Jeff: Shoes. I told you.
849
00:49:48,765 --> 00:49:50,175
Try 'em on, cinderella.
850
00:49:50,267 --> 00:49:51,598
What?
851
00:49:57,566 --> 00:49:59,147
Well, they're yours, all right.
852
00:49:59,234 --> 00:50:00,519
I told youl!
853
00:50:00,611 --> 00:50:03,523
Somebody got a complaint
against this man?
854
00:50:03,697 --> 00:50:05,983
Somebody see him steal anything?
855
00:50:06,074 --> 00:50:07,484
Speak up!
856
00:50:07,576 --> 00:50:09,053
Man: Well, I didn't see him,
but he must have.
857
00:50:09,077 --> 00:50:10,988
What is it, officer?
What did this man do?
858
00:50:11,079 --> 00:50:12,557
Woman ♪1:
Oh, they stick together, they do.
859
00:50:12,581 --> 00:50:14,993
- Policeman: What did he do?
- Woman ♪1: He stole something.
860
00:50:15,083 --> 00:50:17,745
Jeff: What did I steal?
Who saw me steal something?
861
00:50:17,836 --> 00:50:20,293
Policeman: Anybody see
this man steal anything?
862
00:50:20,422 --> 00:50:22,003
Jeff: A purse, a wallet?
863
00:50:22,090 --> 00:50:25,127
How about a brand-new
colour TV set?
864
00:50:25,219 --> 00:50:26,504
You know this man?
865
00:50:26,595 --> 00:50:28,631
This man's a regular
passenger on my bus.
866
00:50:28,722 --> 00:50:30,212
He was runnin' for the bus.
867
00:50:30,307 --> 00:50:33,640
Since when is there a law against
runnin' for the bus?
868
00:50:33,727 --> 00:50:35,638
All right, break it up, folks.
869
00:50:35,729 --> 00:50:37,970
Break it up. Shoo! Shoo!
870
00:50:38,607 --> 00:50:39,847
Come on.
871
00:50:43,737 --> 00:50:46,274
Hey, er...
What happened to you, man?
872
00:50:46,406 --> 00:50:48,259
How come I never noticed
you were coloured before?
873
00:50:48,283 --> 00:50:50,194
Because I was never
coloured before!
874
00:50:50,285 --> 00:50:51,638
Oh, it happened
just like that, huh?
875
00:50:51,662 --> 00:50:52,697
Just like that.
876
00:50:52,788 --> 00:50:54,403
Well, when you get
back on the bus,
877
00:50:54,498 --> 00:50:57,114
just sit down and cool it.
They don't love you, you know?
878
00:50:57,209 --> 00:50:58,870
Nobody loves me! Big deal.
879
00:50:58,961 --> 00:51:00,497
Well, just don't make any trouble.
880
00:51:00,587 --> 00:51:02,452
Jeff: Listen, I am not coloured!
881
00:51:02,548 --> 00:51:05,665
I know. I'm Spanish, myself.
882
00:51:05,759 --> 00:51:10,753
J sometimes I feel
like a motherless child! J
883
00:51:14,518 --> 00:51:16,509
hasta ja vista.
884
00:51:26,446 --> 00:51:27,731
Hey!
885
00:51:27,906 --> 00:51:29,237
Health drink. Double.
886
00:51:29,324 --> 00:51:31,280
And don't be a wise guy.
887
00:51:35,122 --> 00:51:36,122
Hey,
888
00:51:36,164 --> 00:51:38,746
don't I know you from somewhere?
889
00:51:38,959 --> 00:51:41,951
I'm mr gerber. Jeff gerber.
890
00:51:42,045 --> 00:51:44,161
Well, I ain't gunga din.
891
00:51:46,425 --> 00:51:48,211
I never noticed.
892
00:51:48,844 --> 00:51:50,572
Look, come on, hurry up
with my health drink.
893
00:51:50,596 --> 00:51:52,115
I'm late as it is now.
894
00:51:52,139 --> 00:51:53,754
Slow your roll, man.
895
00:51:59,938 --> 00:52:03,271
I told the owner the lights in here
wasn't no good.
896
00:52:09,031 --> 00:52:10,567
Hey, Jeff.
897
00:52:10,657 --> 00:52:12,898
You certainly
set a good example.
898
00:52:13,410 --> 00:52:15,776
A good job like you got.
899
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:19,871
What's draggin' you, brother?
900
00:52:19,958 --> 00:52:22,574
I'm wondering what's, er...
In this health drink?
901
00:52:22,669 --> 00:52:25,627
Oh, that? Orange juice,
902
00:52:26,131 --> 00:52:28,087
papaya's juice,
903
00:52:28,175 --> 00:52:29,585
lime juice,
904
00:52:29,676 --> 00:52:31,041
and soy sauce.
905
00:52:31,928 --> 00:52:33,384
Soy sauce!
906
00:52:33,472 --> 00:52:35,963
What the hell are you
puttin' in soy sauce for?
907
00:52:36,183 --> 00:52:38,890
Well, we was all out
of worcestershire sauce.
908
00:52:38,977 --> 00:52:41,639
- What?
- Cool it, Jeff.
909
00:52:43,190 --> 00:52:46,148
That's why they don't want us
in these places now.
910
00:52:46,526 --> 00:52:47,526
Us?
911
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:51,232
I'll sue the entire naacp.
912
00:52:51,323 --> 00:52:53,154
Look at my skin!
913
00:52:53,241 --> 00:52:55,232
I don't have to look
at your skin.
914
00:52:55,327 --> 00:52:56,942
I can look at my own.
915
00:52:57,037 --> 00:52:59,119
Here, now, what's goin' on?
916
00:52:59,915 --> 00:53:04,409
I'm gonna have this entire place
shut down as a homosexual hangout.
917
00:53:04,670 --> 00:53:06,080
Who is that gentleman?
918
00:53:06,171 --> 00:53:07,752
Soy sauce!
919
00:53:08,548 --> 00:53:12,962
Oh, now look, mr soy sauce,
I don't want any trouble.
920
00:53:13,053 --> 00:53:15,920
I've always gotten along well
with members of your race.
921
00:53:16,014 --> 00:53:17,970
Ask Joe here.
922
00:53:18,266 --> 00:53:22,259
I'm not negro.
I'm Spanish. Soy sauce!
923
00:53:25,399 --> 00:53:27,640
Not one word.
924
00:53:31,446 --> 00:53:33,357
Not one word.
925
00:53:38,620 --> 00:53:39,860
"Us!"
926
00:53:48,255 --> 00:53:50,120
Can I help you?
927
00:53:50,215 --> 00:53:52,126
No-one can help me.
928
00:53:52,217 --> 00:53:54,128
Whom is it you wish
to see about what?
929
00:53:54,219 --> 00:53:58,553
I'd like to see Abe Lincoln
about this equality bullshit!
930
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:00,551
Mr gerber!
931
00:54:00,726 --> 00:54:02,466
Well, it ain't soy sauce.
932
00:54:02,561 --> 00:54:03,892
What happened to you?
933
00:54:03,979 --> 00:54:06,220
I'm pledging for a fraternity.
934
00:54:14,531 --> 00:54:16,237
- Mr gerber!
- Never heard of him.
935
00:54:16,324 --> 00:54:18,030
But, mr gerber...
936
00:54:18,201 --> 00:54:19,281
Get out of my way, Erica,
937
00:54:19,369 --> 00:54:21,610
unless you want to feel
the wrath of my switchblade.
938
00:54:21,788 --> 00:54:24,575
I would like to feel
the wrath of your switchblade.
939
00:54:27,002 --> 00:54:28,458
Morning, Gladys.
940
00:54:28,545 --> 00:54:30,501
Mr gerber, what happened?
941
00:54:32,924 --> 00:54:35,006
Is there anything I can do?
942
00:54:35,093 --> 00:54:37,084
Hide your high school ring.
943
00:54:37,220 --> 00:54:39,586
Mr townsend said for you to see him
as soon as you come in.
944
00:54:39,723 --> 00:54:40,838
All right.
945
00:54:41,475 --> 00:54:43,557
- All right?
- All right.
946
00:55:26,603 --> 00:55:27,934
Yes?
947
00:55:28,021 --> 00:55:30,433
Miss Regan:
Mr townsend is waiting.
948
00:55:31,608 --> 00:55:33,064
Yes.
949
00:55:34,402 --> 00:55:35,938
Okay.
950
00:56:03,390 --> 00:56:06,723
Jeff: I'm coloured, mr townsend.
I'm a negro.
951
00:56:06,852 --> 00:56:08,162
Gerber, what the hell
have you been doing?
952
00:56:08,186 --> 00:56:10,222
Sitting under a sun lamp?
953
00:56:10,397 --> 00:56:12,888
Oh, that's the nicest thing
you've ever said to me, sir.
954
00:56:13,483 --> 00:56:15,643
Did you get that tan in just
the two days you were out?
955
00:56:15,735 --> 00:56:18,442
Yes, yes, I did.
The secret is soy sauce.
956
00:56:18,530 --> 00:56:19,986
Lots and lots of soy sauce.
957
00:56:20,073 --> 00:56:21,984
Don't you think
you overdid it a bit?
958
00:56:22,075 --> 00:56:23,986
Yes, yes, I do.
I... I really do.
959
00:56:24,077 --> 00:56:26,910
It was a frightening experience.
960
00:56:27,038 --> 00:56:28,323
Yeah, I should think so.
961
00:56:28,415 --> 00:56:30,622
Now, look, there's no need
to come apart at the seams.
962
00:56:30,709 --> 00:56:32,495
It'll fade and you'll be fine.
963
00:56:32,627 --> 00:56:34,709
You still have got
to pick up your sales.
964
00:56:35,171 --> 00:56:38,584
Until I spoke to you, mr townsend,
I must confess,
965
00:56:38,675 --> 00:56:40,540
I was pretty shook up.
966
00:56:40,635 --> 00:56:44,002
All right, now go on back
to your desk, and don't let me down.
967
00:56:44,139 --> 00:56:47,302
All right, sir.
God bless you, sir.
968
00:56:47,475 --> 00:56:49,841
There still is a god,
you know, sir.
969
00:56:55,525 --> 00:56:56,685
Miss Regan...
970
00:56:58,278 --> 00:56:59,358
Yes, mr townsend?
971
00:56:59,529 --> 00:57:01,736
Would you get my optometrist
on the phone?
972
00:57:01,823 --> 00:57:04,530
These tinted contact lenses
he gave me,
973
00:57:04,618 --> 00:57:07,234
I think they're
a bit on the dark side.
974
00:57:08,663 --> 00:57:11,496
Hello, palefaces.
Come on, girls.
975
00:57:11,583 --> 00:57:13,744
Get back to work
or you'll be back on the streets
976
00:57:13,835 --> 00:57:15,416
working for real money.
977
00:57:15,503 --> 00:57:16,959
What's the matter, fella?
978
00:57:17,047 --> 00:57:19,083
Ain't you never
seen an aztec before?
979
00:57:19,174 --> 00:57:21,586
What the hell have you done
to yourself, Jeff?
980
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:24,126
How do you like
my golden glow, Andy?
981
00:57:24,304 --> 00:57:26,966
Don't I look like
a friggin' bronze god?
982
00:57:27,057 --> 00:57:28,297
That's not what they're sayin'.
983
00:57:28,391 --> 00:57:29,927
I have it on
no less an authority
984
00:57:30,018 --> 00:57:33,385
than dj townsend
that I have a glorious tan.
985
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:36,392
I... I gotta tell you, Jeff.
If I didn't know you, I'd have to say...
986
00:57:36,483 --> 00:57:39,941
Look, Andy, if you have inherent
racial prejudice, that's your hang-up.
987
00:57:40,070 --> 00:57:42,311
I personally think
I have a beautiful colour.
988
00:57:42,405 --> 00:57:46,023
Gladys, bring in my appointment book,
please, dear.
989
00:57:54,668 --> 00:57:56,659
J there'll be pennies from heaven
990
00:57:56,753 --> 00:57:58,368
j for you and me j
991
00:57:58,463 --> 00:57:59,999
Clark dunwoodie, please.
992
00:58:02,842 --> 00:58:04,002
Hello, Clark?
993
00:58:04,094 --> 00:58:07,131
Jeff gerber. Well, I hopped down
the islands for a couple days.
994
00:58:07,222 --> 00:58:09,053
Get that old tan in shape,
you know?
995
00:58:09,140 --> 00:58:12,553
How's about today? Lunch?
Well, you name it.
996
00:58:12,769 --> 00:58:16,387
Okay, your club, twelve-thirty.
See you then.
997
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:28,531
Where do you think you're going?
998
00:58:28,702 --> 00:58:31,785
- I'm lunching with Clark dunwoodie.
- Not in here, you're not.
999
00:58:31,913 --> 00:58:33,949
Hey, come on! You're kidding!
1000
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:35,621
You know me! Jeff gerber!
1001
00:58:35,709 --> 00:58:36,829
Mr dunwoodie's expecting me.
1002
00:58:36,918 --> 00:58:38,499
Come on, fella, I got my orders.
1003
00:58:38,586 --> 00:58:40,451
Now, this club has got rules.
1004
00:58:40,547 --> 00:58:42,708
Fun is fun,
but don't make me angry.
1005
00:58:42,799 --> 00:58:45,256
- You better let me pass.
- What's your name, sir?
1006
00:58:45,385 --> 00:58:49,628
Er... Jeff gerber. I'm having lunch
with, er... Clark dunwoodie.
1007
00:58:49,723 --> 00:58:51,884
Oh, yes, mr gerber.
1008
00:58:51,975 --> 00:58:54,387
Er... mr dunwoodie wanted me to
give you his apologies.
1009
00:58:54,477 --> 00:58:55,579
He had to go back to the office.
1010
00:58:55,603 --> 00:58:57,719
Er... some kind of an
emergency board meeting,
1011
00:58:57,814 --> 00:59:00,351
and he's going to call you
later this afternoon and explain it.
1012
00:59:00,442 --> 00:59:02,774
Don't pull that crap on me!
1013
00:59:02,902 --> 00:59:05,234
Well, I'm very sorry
for the inconvenience.
1014
00:59:06,239 --> 00:59:07,570
Now, move along, please.
1015
00:59:07,657 --> 00:59:10,136
- Hey, look, there must be some mistake.
- Come on. I said "move along".
1016
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:11,971
Hey, hey, hey,
look, I ask you, is this America?
1017
00:59:11,995 --> 00:59:14,327
- Is this America?
- Yeah, man!
1018
00:59:14,456 --> 00:59:16,934
J no, this ain't America
1019
00:59:16,958 --> 00:59:18,539
j you can't fool me j
1020
00:59:18,710 --> 00:59:20,996
hey, look, why don't you
let him go in there?
1021
00:59:21,087 --> 00:59:22,702
I belong in there!
1022
00:59:22,797 --> 00:59:25,038
Van peebles:
J if you don't fit the right image
1023
00:59:25,592 --> 00:59:28,254
j they just pull out their ddt
1024
00:59:29,304 --> 00:59:31,420
j if they just don't
like the way you look
1025
00:59:32,932 --> 00:59:35,765
j they just law and order
and pricks!
1026
00:59:36,269 --> 00:59:38,351
J they're prickin' me! I
1027
00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:40,721
come in.
1028
00:59:41,608 --> 00:59:43,815
Excuse me, mr townsend? Yes.
1029
00:59:44,819 --> 00:59:46,775
This man says he works for you.
1030
00:59:48,490 --> 00:59:50,230
Good grief!
1031
00:59:50,533 --> 00:59:52,489
Gerber, is that you?
1032
00:59:53,078 --> 00:59:54,488
Er...
1033
00:59:54,788 --> 00:59:56,744
Yes, officer, he...
He works for me.
1034
00:59:56,831 --> 00:59:58,913
Very well. I'll leave him
in your charge.
1035
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:00,991
He stole something.
We don't know what it is yet.
1036
01:00:01,127 --> 01:00:03,163
Jeff: Brutality, brutality.
1037
01:00:03,546 --> 01:00:05,082
You can leave him
with me, officer.
1038
01:00:05,173 --> 01:00:07,505
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
1039
01:00:12,222 --> 01:00:15,134
Gerber, w... what happened?
1040
01:00:15,225 --> 01:00:18,592
- If I didn't know you myself, I'd sw...
- I'm black. I've become black.
1041
01:00:18,686 --> 01:00:20,017
You ask anyone on the street,
1042
01:00:20,105 --> 01:00:22,721
they'll say,
"that man, he's black.
1043
01:00:22,816 --> 01:00:26,104
- "Mm-hmm, sure, he's black."
- Now, get ahold of yourself.
1044
01:00:26,611 --> 01:00:28,602
Yowser. I'm gonna
get ahold of myself.
1045
01:00:28,696 --> 01:00:30,311
Yowser, boss.
1046
01:00:34,536 --> 01:00:39,155
You know, this could work
to both our advantages.
1047
01:00:39,249 --> 01:00:41,831
Boss have heap
big sense of humour.
1048
01:00:41,918 --> 01:00:44,438
Stop that foolish vaudeville routine,
and listen to me a minute.
1049
01:00:44,504 --> 01:00:46,460
Look, I don't care
what colour you are.
1050
01:00:46,548 --> 01:00:48,584
You're an intelligent,
educated man,
1051
01:00:48,675 --> 01:00:51,382
and, damn it, gerber, there is
a whole market out there
1052
01:00:51,469 --> 01:00:53,505
that has never even been
approached by our company
1053
01:00:53,596 --> 01:00:56,178
because we have never
had a negro salesman.
1054
01:00:56,266 --> 01:00:58,222
Why, you can make yourself
a fortune.
1055
01:00:58,309 --> 01:01:01,267
That negro insurance market
is virtually untapped.
1056
01:01:01,354 --> 01:01:03,582
Look, I tell you what you do.
You run back to your office...
1057
01:01:03,606 --> 01:01:05,096
I can't run anywhere.
1058
01:01:05,191 --> 01:01:07,253
They'll arrest me before
I get halfway down the hall.
1059
01:01:07,277 --> 01:01:09,004
Go back to your office
and wait there for me,
1060
01:01:09,028 --> 01:01:10,908
I'll bring you the statistics.
They're shocking.
1061
01:01:10,989 --> 01:01:12,900
I'll just shuffle along.
1062
01:01:13,032 --> 01:01:14,988
Er... give me 15 minutes.
1063
01:01:15,076 --> 01:01:17,032
Oh, you don't have
to hurry yourself
1064
01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:20,783
over little old,
po' little me, mr townsend.
1065
01:01:23,001 --> 01:01:25,743
Make a list of all those articles
that have been stolen.
1066
01:01:25,879 --> 01:01:28,120
And any of you
who have been raped,
1067
01:01:28,214 --> 01:01:30,921
please report to the dispensary.
1068
01:01:31,009 --> 01:01:33,091
Any of you who are
interested in tap dancing,
1069
01:01:33,178 --> 01:01:35,544
gospel singing, boxing lessons,
1070
01:01:35,680 --> 01:01:37,386
please come into my office.
1071
01:01:37,473 --> 01:01:39,464
Gladys?
1072
01:01:52,739 --> 01:01:54,320
Dr Wainwright, please.
1073
01:01:54,407 --> 01:01:56,648
Jeff gerber. Thank you.
1074
01:01:58,119 --> 01:02:00,781
Dr Wainwright, I gotta
see you right away.
1075
01:02:05,293 --> 01:02:08,000
Unclean! Unclean!
1076
01:02:08,087 --> 01:02:10,578
Beware the black scourge!
1077
01:02:10,673 --> 01:02:14,291
Double trouble,
boil and trouble!
1078
01:02:14,385 --> 01:02:16,376
Take your children, gather them.
1079
01:02:16,471 --> 01:02:19,338
Take them to the high ground!
1080
01:02:22,268 --> 01:02:25,385
Doctor? Mr gerber's here.
1081
01:02:25,772 --> 01:02:28,935
- But, er...
“Wainwright: Well, show him in.
1082
01:02:33,363 --> 01:02:34,819
No swelling.
1083
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:37,572
If it were overexposure,
there'd be swelling.
1084
01:02:39,911 --> 01:02:44,245
Your lips, as I recall,
were always rather full.
1085
01:02:44,582 --> 01:02:47,244
High cheekbones, wide face.
1086
01:02:47,377 --> 01:02:49,584
You're trying to tell me something.
1087
01:02:49,671 --> 01:02:53,835
Uh-huh. I don't see how
it could be the sun lamp.
1088
01:02:55,885 --> 01:02:57,750
Anything unusual in your diet?
1089
01:02:58,012 --> 01:02:59,798
Crow.
1090
01:02:59,889 --> 01:03:01,925
I've laid a lot of crow, doc.
1091
01:03:02,016 --> 01:03:04,758
It could be some kind of an allergy.
1092
01:03:05,979 --> 01:03:08,937
But it's more apt
to be something else.
1093
01:03:09,023 --> 01:03:12,140
Well, go ahead, tell me.
I won't blab.
1094
01:03:12,986 --> 01:03:16,945
Well, it's more apt to be something
in your family lineage.
1095
01:03:19,158 --> 01:03:21,365
You mean like insanity?
1096
01:03:21,452 --> 01:03:24,990
It's quite possible that,
somewhere in your lineage,
1097
01:03:25,081 --> 01:03:26,617
there is a negro strain.
1098
01:03:27,292 --> 01:03:30,159
You're looking at a
strained negro right now, doc.
1099
01:03:30,378 --> 01:03:31,663
If that were the case,
1100
01:03:31,754 --> 01:03:34,962
it would be apparent from birth,
not in your middle years.
1101
01:03:35,300 --> 01:03:37,666
And it would seem logical
that your parents
1102
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:39,751
would have said
something to you about it.
1103
01:03:40,054 --> 01:03:41,464
They never called me a nigger.
1104
01:03:41,556 --> 01:03:44,548
No matter how angry they got,
they never called me a nigger.
1105
01:03:44,642 --> 01:03:47,679
Oh, they might have
revealed it in other ways.
1106
01:03:47,812 --> 01:03:50,303
Ways more... freudian.
1107
01:03:50,732 --> 01:03:53,144
Um... what's your full name, Jeff?
1108
01:03:53,276 --> 01:03:54,891
Jefferson w gerber.
1109
01:03:54,986 --> 01:03:57,944
Mm-hmm. What's the "w" for?
1110
01:03:58,281 --> 01:03:59,771
Washington.
1111
01:04:00,742 --> 01:04:03,609
Jefferson Washington gerber.
1112
01:04:03,870 --> 01:04:07,078
Do you realise that,
when the slaves were set free
1113
01:04:07,165 --> 01:04:09,531
and they were allowed to
pick any names they wanted,
1114
01:04:09,625 --> 01:04:11,490
many of them chose
the names of presidents?
1115
01:04:12,045 --> 01:04:14,206
Jefferson Washington gerber.
1116
01:04:14,297 --> 01:04:16,037
Um... what's your wife's name?
1117
01:04:17,091 --> 01:04:19,082
Althea jemima gerber.
1118
01:04:20,887 --> 01:04:22,343
You're kidding me.
1119
01:04:22,555 --> 01:04:23,886
What are your children's names?
1120
01:04:23,973 --> 01:04:25,338
Beulah and rastus.
1121
01:04:25,433 --> 01:04:28,766
You're trying to prove that I'm a negro,
and I'm trying to prove that I'm not.
1122
01:04:28,853 --> 01:04:31,515
I am only trying
to compile some facts.
1123
01:04:31,606 --> 01:04:34,188
All right, facts.
Well, what about my skin, huh?
1124
01:04:34,317 --> 01:04:35,932
What about...
That's a fact, isn't it?
1125
01:04:36,110 --> 01:04:39,068
Now, look, something happened
to cause this phenomenon.
1126
01:04:39,197 --> 01:04:41,688
Somewhere, there's a
medical explanation for this,
1127
01:04:41,783 --> 01:04:42,783
and we'll find it.
1128
01:04:42,825 --> 01:04:44,440
When do you want to do that, doc?
1129
01:04:46,162 --> 01:04:47,162
Right now.
1130
01:04:47,955 --> 01:04:49,491
About how long
do you think it'll take?
1131
01:04:49,624 --> 01:04:53,367
Maybe three hours. The rest is
up to the laboratory technicians.
1132
01:04:53,461 --> 01:04:55,577
Jeff: Hello, althea?
1133
01:04:56,381 --> 01:04:58,292
Guess who's coming to dinner?
1134
01:05:09,102 --> 01:05:11,809
The children are in bed.
Even Burton.
1135
01:05:11,896 --> 01:05:13,477
I thought it best.
1136
01:05:13,564 --> 01:05:15,054
What's wrong?
1137
01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:19,439
Wrong? Wrong?
Wrong? Nothing's wrong.
1138
01:05:19,529 --> 01:05:20,985
Well, how come you're on fire?
1139
01:05:23,282 --> 01:05:24,647
Don't answer it.
1140
01:05:24,826 --> 01:05:27,488
- I beg your pardon?
- Don't answer it.
1141
01:05:27,578 --> 01:05:29,864
And may I ask why?
1142
01:05:29,997 --> 01:05:31,658
It's a wrong number.
1143
01:05:32,333 --> 01:05:34,699
Oh, then by all means,
let's not answer it.
1144
01:05:34,794 --> 01:05:37,285
But I feel I should
ask you this, althea.
1145
01:05:37,380 --> 01:05:39,837
How do you know
it's a wrong number?
1146
01:05:39,966 --> 01:05:41,797
It has a different sound.
1147
01:05:41,884 --> 01:05:45,342
Wrong numbers sound more neurotic,
because the circuits are confused.
1148
01:05:45,430 --> 01:05:47,762
- I see.
- And it just upsets it if you answer it.
1149
01:05:47,849 --> 01:05:51,057
Uh-huh, that's strange, but it
sounds like a right number to me.
1150
01:05:51,185 --> 01:05:53,016
No, you're wrong. You're nuts.
1151
01:05:53,229 --> 01:05:55,345
- Hello?
- Man: Jeff gerber?
1152
01:05:55,440 --> 01:05:57,431
- Yes?
- Move out, nigger!
1153
01:05:59,861 --> 01:06:01,226
It was a wrong number.
1154
01:06:01,737 --> 01:06:03,898
They've been calling all day.
1155
01:06:04,031 --> 01:06:05,862
What "they"? It was one voice.
1156
01:06:05,950 --> 01:06:08,692
Don't make it sound like the
entire west point glee club.
1157
01:06:08,786 --> 01:06:10,196
Well, who do you think it is?
1158
01:06:10,288 --> 01:06:12,119
It's avon calling,
and the bell's stuck.
1159
01:06:13,833 --> 01:06:16,370
Jeff, I have to tell you,
I'm frightened.
1160
01:06:16,752 --> 01:06:19,915
You don't have to tell me.
It's fairly noticeable.
1161
01:06:21,799 --> 01:06:24,211
Well, how did it go today?
1162
01:06:24,594 --> 01:06:26,630
Oh, it was the usual day.
1163
01:06:26,721 --> 01:06:29,258
I was thrown out of
one of the better clubs.
1164
01:06:29,432 --> 01:06:31,423
I was picked up twice
for purse snatching.
1165
01:06:31,517 --> 01:06:32,517
What?
1166
01:06:32,977 --> 01:06:34,092
Nothing.
1167
01:06:34,979 --> 01:06:39,313
Well... did they notice anything...
Anything different at the office?
1168
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:41,607
There were a few remarks.
1169
01:06:41,903 --> 01:06:43,109
What about townsend?
1170
01:06:43,196 --> 01:06:44,982
Oh, he seemed quite pleased.
1171
01:06:45,072 --> 01:06:48,656
It seems I'm one of his
hottest negro salesmen.
1172
01:06:52,663 --> 01:06:53,869
You hungry?
1173
01:06:53,998 --> 01:06:55,454
Yeah, I guess so.
1174
01:07:15,478 --> 01:07:19,016
Jeff: What? Are you crazy?
1175
01:07:19,148 --> 01:07:21,685
Is that supposed to be funny?
1176
01:07:22,527 --> 01:07:25,360
I didn't realise... until after...
1177
01:07:25,488 --> 01:07:27,945
Well, listen, jemima,
you're in this too.
1178
01:07:28,074 --> 01:07:29,189
Jemima?
1179
01:07:29,325 --> 01:07:30,940
Your middle name, baby.
1180
01:07:31,077 --> 01:07:33,443
- My middle name is Janine.
- Oh?
1181
01:07:34,163 --> 01:07:37,121
So don't you "jemima" me,
Jeff gerber.
1182
01:07:37,208 --> 01:07:40,325
If you've been keeping some racial
secret about yourself from me,
1183
01:07:40,419 --> 01:07:42,751
well, just don't you
"jemima" me!
1184
01:07:42,838 --> 01:07:44,669
Oh, I get it.
1185
01:07:44,757 --> 01:07:46,418
You're getting a little worried.
1186
01:07:46,509 --> 01:07:49,216
You're just not certain about
things anymore, are you?
1187
01:07:49,387 --> 01:07:52,129
Well, there are children to consider.
1188
01:07:52,348 --> 01:07:54,384
What do you think?
1189
01:07:54,475 --> 01:07:56,011
Right number or wrong?
1190
01:07:56,102 --> 01:07:57,871
I don't care anymore.
It's been ringing all day.
1191
01:07:57,895 --> 01:08:00,762
Every bigot in this town
is honing in on us.
1192
01:08:01,816 --> 01:08:05,058
- Hello?
- Jeff? It's dr Wainwright.
1193
01:08:05,152 --> 01:08:06,562
Yes, er... what is it?
1194
01:08:06,654 --> 01:08:08,895
- It's not hay fever.
- Oh, good!
1195
01:08:08,990 --> 01:08:11,732
- Thought I'd let you know.
- Yes, er... thank you.
1196
01:08:11,826 --> 01:08:13,862
Let me know as soon as
you find out about ragweed.
1197
01:08:13,953 --> 01:08:15,614
I'll call immediately.
1198
01:08:16,872 --> 01:08:18,157
Doctor Wainwright.
1199
01:08:18,249 --> 01:08:21,537
You'll be happy to know I'm
not suffering from hay fever.
1200
01:08:23,004 --> 01:08:24,869
I'm a nervous wreck.
I'm going to bed.
1201
01:08:24,964 --> 01:08:28,422
Oh, I thought we'd stay up a while
and do a little humming.
1202
01:08:28,551 --> 01:08:31,167
I'm going to sleep. You can
turn off the phone if you like.
1203
01:08:31,262 --> 01:08:34,049
I can't. It might be
my ragweed calling in.
1204
01:08:34,140 --> 01:08:35,971
Suit yourself.
1205
01:08:47,403 --> 01:08:50,361
Don't be frightened.
It's just me, black Bart.
1206
01:08:50,990 --> 01:08:53,356
- Did you have something to eat?
- Just chicken.
1207
01:08:53,618 --> 01:08:56,985
Watermelon doesn't taste good
to me unless it's freshly stolen.
1208
01:08:57,580 --> 01:08:59,286
Mind if I get in bed?
1209
01:09:02,960 --> 01:09:05,576
Newsreader: This is Tom harkness
in the downtown business area
1210
01:09:05,713 --> 01:09:07,749
where police are just now
bringing under control
1211
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:10,297
a riot that began about noon today.
1212
01:09:10,384 --> 01:09:13,091
Within minutes the area was
overrun with pickets, militants,
1213
01:09:13,179 --> 01:09:15,340
and housewives for lower food prices,
1214
01:09:15,473 --> 01:09:17,338
when an unidentified drunken negro
1215
01:09:17,433 --> 01:09:20,095
was denied admission
to the hagstrom yacht club,
1216
01:09:20,227 --> 01:09:22,664
though the actual identity of the man
is not known for certain...
1217
01:09:22,688 --> 01:09:24,849
If only they wouldn't be so pushy.
1218
01:09:27,652 --> 01:09:29,188
- Hello?
- Man: Jeff gerber?
1219
01:09:29,278 --> 01:09:31,894
- Yes.
- Move out, nigger.
1220
01:09:32,823 --> 01:09:35,815
- Was it dr Wainwright?
- I certainly hope not.
1221
01:09:36,744 --> 01:09:38,780
Look, althea,
1222
01:09:39,246 --> 01:09:41,237
it's Wednesday night.
1223
01:09:41,624 --> 01:09:45,082
- Why don't we have a little drink and...
- Wednesday? No, it's Thursday.
1224
01:09:45,169 --> 01:09:47,455
Let's pretend it's Wednesday.
1225
01:09:47,588 --> 01:09:50,295
I'm in need of some human affection.
1226
01:09:51,634 --> 01:09:53,750
I understand,
but not tonight, okay?
1227
01:09:55,179 --> 01:09:56,385
I hate to tell you this,
1228
01:09:56,472 --> 01:09:59,509
but I'm beginning to feel
just a little bit unloved.
1229
01:10:00,142 --> 01:10:02,428
I mean, it may be old-fashioned,
but, where I come from,
1230
01:10:02,520 --> 01:10:05,603
a guy's wife sticks real
close to him in time of stress.
1231
01:10:07,024 --> 01:10:11,063
- Well, er... not tonight.
- Something I said?
1232
01:10:11,862 --> 01:10:14,979
- We could change sides if you'd like.
- That's damn white of you.
1233
01:10:17,284 --> 01:10:18,945
- Hello?
- Dr Wainwright: Jeff?
1234
01:10:19,036 --> 01:10:22,119
It's not ragweed, asthma or
anything to do with the kidneys.
1235
01:10:22,248 --> 01:10:23,909
Good. Keep me posted.
1236
01:10:23,999 --> 01:10:25,364
I'm staying with it all night.
1237
01:10:25,459 --> 01:10:27,199
Thanks, doc, appreciate it.
1238
01:10:34,093 --> 01:10:36,254
- Hello?
- Man: Jeff gerber?
1239
01:10:36,679 --> 01:10:39,762
He's out baling cotton.
Can I take a message”?
1240
01:10:39,849 --> 01:10:41,464
Move out, nigger.
1241
01:10:42,768 --> 01:10:46,101
Jeff, don't anger them.
Just don't anger them.
1242
01:10:46,188 --> 01:10:48,930
Don't anger them?
You mean they're not angry already?
1243
01:10:49,024 --> 01:10:50,639
What must I do to get 'em angry?
1244
01:10:50,735 --> 01:10:53,101
Try and get into
one of their yacht clubs?
1245
01:11:15,134 --> 01:11:16,795
Good morning, mr gerber.
1246
01:11:17,678 --> 01:11:19,214
Morning, Erica.
1247
01:11:19,305 --> 01:11:21,637
When do I get to
see your switchblade?
1248
01:11:22,683 --> 01:11:24,719
God's sake, call me.
1249
01:11:27,813 --> 01:11:29,178
Um... morning, Gladys.
1250
01:11:29,273 --> 01:11:30,854
Mr townsend's
waiting to see you.
1251
01:11:30,983 --> 01:11:32,519
He's fit to be tied and, er...
1252
01:11:32,610 --> 01:11:34,271
Well, dr Wainwright called twice
1253
01:11:34,361 --> 01:11:36,192
and wants you to call
as soon as you come in.
1254
01:11:36,280 --> 01:11:37,565
Thank you, Gladys.
1255
01:11:39,658 --> 01:11:42,240
Dr Wainwright:
Jeff, it's no longer a joke.
1256
01:11:42,369 --> 01:11:44,655
It has nothing to do
with allergies,
1257
01:11:44,747 --> 01:11:46,988
blood counts
or electrocardiograms,
1258
01:11:47,082 --> 01:11:49,539
and it has nothing
to do with soy sauce.
1259
01:11:49,627 --> 01:11:53,211
We've run 18 different tests on
soy sauce, and the opinion is
1260
01:11:53,339 --> 01:11:57,423
that soy sauce is more apt to
make you oriental than negro.
1261
01:11:57,510 --> 01:11:59,671
C'est la guerre.
1262
01:11:59,804 --> 01:12:02,341
Jeff: That's... logical.
1263
01:12:03,098 --> 01:12:05,464
I spent the entire night
in the trenches
1264
01:12:05,559 --> 01:12:09,017
with doctors Carson, harcourt,
whittemore, o'Neil, and Hamilton.
1265
01:12:09,104 --> 01:12:11,595
And they're firmly
of the opinion that...
1266
01:12:13,734 --> 01:12:16,942
Jeff, I'm not one
of those doctors
1267
01:12:17,071 --> 01:12:18,402
who believes in
keeping the truth
1268
01:12:18,489 --> 01:12:19,604
from a patient.
1269
01:12:19,740 --> 01:12:23,449
Did you know that the first man
to die in an American war
1270
01:12:23,536 --> 01:12:27,074
was a black man,
crispus attucks?
1271
01:12:28,082 --> 01:12:30,494
What I'm getting at is,
1272
01:12:30,584 --> 01:12:32,950
Jeff, you're a negro.
1273
01:12:33,045 --> 01:12:34,706
When do you want
to see me again?
1274
01:12:35,714 --> 01:12:41,254
- I don't think it's necessary.
- Closing the book on me, huh?
1275
01:12:42,012 --> 01:12:45,504
Now, with your approval,
I'd like to turn your case over
1276
01:12:45,599 --> 01:12:47,464
to an outstanding young doctor
1277
01:12:47,560 --> 01:12:50,723
who's a member of your own race.
1278
01:12:51,146 --> 01:12:52,636
Dr John I catlin.
1279
01:12:52,857 --> 01:12:54,688
You may have heard of him.
1280
01:12:54,859 --> 01:12:56,850
What's the "I" for? Lincoln?
1281
01:12:57,236 --> 01:12:59,852
You do understand,
don't you, Jeff?
1282
01:13:00,197 --> 01:13:01,937
Of course.
1283
01:13:02,116 --> 01:13:03,606
Good.
1284
01:13:03,742 --> 01:13:07,280
Well, perhaps we'll bump into
each other again some day.
1285
01:13:08,372 --> 01:13:10,738
Maybe at the Newport regatta.
1286
01:13:14,211 --> 01:13:16,167
Mr townsend is waiting.
1287
01:13:20,968 --> 01:13:23,254
You disappeared on me
yesterday, gerber.
1288
01:13:23,345 --> 01:13:25,256
Jeff: I'm sorry.
I thought it was important.
1289
01:13:25,347 --> 01:13:26,587
It wasn't.
1290
01:13:26,682 --> 01:13:29,298
Look, I want
a negro representative.
1291
01:13:29,435 --> 01:13:32,222
But I will not tolerate
any lack of diligence.
1292
01:13:32,396 --> 01:13:33,511
I understand.
1293
01:13:33,606 --> 01:13:37,064
Good. Now, I want you to
turn over all your files to Brandon.
1294
01:13:37,192 --> 01:13:40,025
He'll service them.
You can still get the commissions.
1295
01:13:40,154 --> 01:13:41,860
This is the area
I want you to work in.
1296
01:13:41,947 --> 01:13:43,258
The sooner you get started,
the better.
1297
01:13:43,282 --> 01:13:45,068
Any questions,
come directly to me.
1298
01:13:45,159 --> 01:13:47,775
Oh, er...
By the way, gerber, er...
1299
01:13:47,870 --> 01:13:50,953
I notified the naacp and core
1300
01:13:51,081 --> 01:13:52,912
that we have a negro
on our staff.
1301
01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:54,581
They're both quite pleased.
1302
01:13:54,668 --> 01:13:56,533
Don't let 'em down.
1303
01:13:56,879 --> 01:13:59,712
These policies aren't quite correct
for a man in your bracket...
1304
01:13:59,798 --> 01:14:02,380
I'd recommend that
you set aside a bit more
1305
01:14:02,468 --> 01:14:04,504
for your future children's
education...
1306
01:14:04,595 --> 01:14:06,881
I'm very happy to say that
for the first time today,
1307
01:14:06,972 --> 01:14:09,714
I'm gonna recommend that somebody
buy an insurance policy from me...
1308
01:14:09,808 --> 01:14:12,174
I strongly suggest that you, er...
1309
01:14:12,269 --> 01:14:13,725
Invest some of
your widow's pension
1310
01:14:13,812 --> 01:14:16,098
in income-earning stocks
and bonds,
1311
01:14:16,190 --> 01:14:17,851
and I'd be glad
to recommend a man.
1312
01:14:17,942 --> 01:14:20,354
- He's white.
- Many people are.
1313
01:14:20,819 --> 01:14:21,899
Well, gerber,
1314
01:14:21,987 --> 01:14:23,590
it looks to me as though
you've been giving out
1315
01:14:23,614 --> 01:14:25,730
quite a bit of free advice
these past few days.
1316
01:14:25,824 --> 01:14:27,439
Jeff: That's part of
the job, isn't it?
1317
01:14:27,534 --> 01:14:30,822
Oh, maybe, but on your first day
you made nine calls,
1318
01:14:30,955 --> 01:14:32,741
and sold one policy.
1319
01:14:32,831 --> 01:14:34,617
Three policies
you did nothing about,
1320
01:14:34,708 --> 01:14:37,745
and five policies
you re-arranged so that...
1321
01:14:37,836 --> 01:14:42,205
So that our company loses
$363 in annual premiums.
1322
01:14:42,341 --> 01:14:45,128
But, eventually, all those people
will become good customers
1323
01:14:45,260 --> 01:14:47,672
- only because I took the time...
- Oh, nonsense.
1324
01:14:47,805 --> 01:14:51,548
Gerber, those people don't know
the first thing about insurance.
1325
01:14:51,684 --> 01:14:53,800
You would be doing
the community a public service
1326
01:14:53,894 --> 01:14:55,413
to sell them
all the insurance you could
1327
01:14:55,437 --> 01:14:57,803
so that they would never become
a drain on our society.
1328
01:14:57,940 --> 01:15:00,272
Every one of those homes
I visited in the last few days
1329
01:15:00,359 --> 01:15:02,645
was occupied
by personable, responsible...
1330
01:15:02,736 --> 01:15:05,022
Horse crap!
1331
01:15:05,823 --> 01:15:06,903
Look...
1332
01:15:12,830 --> 01:15:15,412
J excuse me, buddy, but...
1333
01:15:16,125 --> 01:15:18,457
J excuse me, lady, but...
1334
01:15:18,544 --> 01:15:20,830
J you foolin', ain't ya?
1335
01:15:22,256 --> 01:15:24,042
> Where can I be?
1336
01:15:24,883 --> 01:15:27,295
J this ain't America, is it?
1337
01:15:27,970 --> 01:15:30,507
J oh, lord, where can I be?
1338
01:15:30,681 --> 01:15:32,672
J this ain't America, is it?
1339
01:15:34,643 --> 01:15:36,679
J no, this ain't America
1340
01:15:37,396 --> 01:15:39,352
j you can't fool me j
1341
01:15:41,442 --> 01:15:43,682
dr catlin: You're wrong to
go on trying to fool yourself.
1342
01:15:43,736 --> 01:15:46,694
Van peebles:
J this here's the home of the sheriff
1343
01:15:46,822 --> 01:15:49,313
j not the land of the free
1344
01:15:49,408 --> 01:15:52,525
j in America, folks don't run
through the streets
1345
01:15:55,122 --> 01:15:57,078
j from where they been beat
1346
01:15:58,083 --> 01:15:59,869
j and the parks is for the people &
1347
01:16:00,252 --> 01:16:03,369
quite a background.
Dean's list three times, college graduate,
1348
01:16:03,464 --> 01:16:04,670
excellent service record.
1349
01:16:04,840 --> 01:16:06,560
Seventeen years in the
insurance profession.
1350
01:16:06,675 --> 01:16:10,133
Van peebles:
J and the cops in the good old usa
1351
01:16:10,262 --> 01:16:12,799
j don't they need
some kind of gods either?
1352
01:16:12,890 --> 01:16:15,051
J no, this ain't America
1353
01:16:15,142 --> 01:16:17,098
j you can't fool me j
1354
01:16:41,627 --> 01:16:43,663
I'm not kiddin', man.
1355
01:16:43,754 --> 01:16:47,338
Take Jamie over there,
he's got 13 years.
1356
01:16:47,841 --> 01:16:49,957
And a hell
of a good bowler, too.
1357
01:16:50,344 --> 01:16:53,461
Of course, they always
make him bowl on the far Lane.
1358
01:16:53,639 --> 01:16:56,051
Kind of downwind, so to speak.
1359
01:16:59,144 --> 01:17:00,509
I'm not kidding.
1360
01:17:01,980 --> 01:17:05,768
- Van peebles: J love!
- Chorus: J love, that's America
1361
01:17:05,859 --> 01:17:08,976
Van peebles:
J open arms for every creature!
1362
01:17:10,239 --> 01:17:12,525
- J love!
- Chorus: J love, that's America
1363
01:17:12,658 --> 01:17:14,523
Van peebles: J open arms!
1364
01:17:14,701 --> 01:17:16,657
J for every man!
1365
01:17:19,498 --> 01:17:24,288
- J love!
- Chorus: J love, that's America
1366
01:17:24,419 --> 01:17:27,582
Van peebles:
J joy and peace and Harmony!
1367
01:17:28,423 --> 01:17:33,008
- J love!
- Chorus: J love, that's America
1368
01:17:33,095 --> 01:17:35,962
Van peebles:
J children with laughing eyes!
1369
01:17:37,224 --> 01:17:42,093
- J love!
- Chorus: J love, that's America
1370
01:17:42,229 --> 01:17:44,891
Van peebles:
J yes, love, that's americal
1371
01:17:46,358 --> 01:17:50,692
- j love!
- Chorus: J love, that's America
1372
01:17:50,863 --> 01:17:53,229
Van peebles:
J the old eagle soarin'!
1373
01:17:55,200 --> 01:17:59,614
- J love!
- Chorus: J love, that's America
1374
01:17:59,746 --> 01:18:02,738
Van peebles:
J the old eagle wearin' a grin!
1375
01:18:04,251 --> 01:18:08,119
- J love!
- Chorus: J love, that's America
1376
01:18:08,297 --> 01:18:12,165
Van peebles:
J our old eagle soarin'! &
1377
01:18:19,308 --> 01:18:22,550
Jeff, you know our neighbours.
1378
01:18:22,811 --> 01:18:24,221
Well, the vigilantes!
1379
01:18:24,354 --> 01:18:27,016
Althea: I've got the coffee on.
1380
01:18:27,191 --> 01:18:30,558
Jeff: Well, then,
what can I do for you gentlemen?
1381
01:18:31,195 --> 01:18:34,187
Jeff, we may as well
get right to the point.
1382
01:18:35,115 --> 01:18:36,855
Everybody else does.
1383
01:18:36,950 --> 01:18:39,532
Johnson: We feel your presence
in the neighbourhood
1384
01:18:39,620 --> 01:18:41,656
can undermine
the value of our homes,
1385
01:18:41,747 --> 01:18:43,783
and we're concerned.
1386
01:18:43,916 --> 01:18:46,703
Jeff: Yes, I've gotten
a couple of your phone calls.
1387
01:18:46,835 --> 01:18:48,496
Oh, that wasn't us, Jeff.
1388
01:18:48,629 --> 01:18:50,119
Shut up, friend.
1389
01:18:50,672 --> 01:18:52,663
Johnson:
As nicely as we can put it, Jeff,
1390
01:18:52,758 --> 01:18:56,091
we'd like you to move out before
it becomes common knowledge
1391
01:18:56,178 --> 01:18:58,339
that there's
a negro family in the area.
1392
01:18:58,430 --> 01:19:01,672
Is that as nicely as you can put it?
“We're concerned.
1393
01:19:01,808 --> 01:19:03,719
Oh, perfectly understandable,
1394
01:19:03,810 --> 01:19:07,098
especially since I've taken the
spot announcements on radio.
1395
01:19:07,189 --> 01:19:09,396
And wait until
you see the skywriting.
1396
01:19:09,524 --> 01:19:12,687
Johnson: We're prepared
to offer a very fair deal.
1397
01:19:13,403 --> 01:19:15,769
Walter has the figures. Walter?
1398
01:19:15,948 --> 01:19:17,904
Your house is worth about
1399
01:19:17,991 --> 01:19:20,027
forty thousand dollars
on the open market.
1400
01:19:20,118 --> 01:19:22,825
- Thirty-seven thousand.
- Well, give or take.
1401
01:19:22,913 --> 01:19:26,076
Twelve dollars as soon as the
word gets out that I'm a nigger.
1402
01:19:26,208 --> 01:19:28,620
Johnson: We represent
a group of people, Jeff,
1403
01:19:28,710 --> 01:19:31,577
and we have the backing
of three local banks.
1404
01:19:31,672 --> 01:19:35,711
And so we're prepared to offer you
fifty thousand dollars.
1405
01:19:35,884 --> 01:19:40,127
Oh, ah do declaih, that
shore am a great pile o' money.
1406
01:19:40,264 --> 01:19:44,303
We'll sell your house to a good family,
and absorb the loss among ourselves.
1407
01:19:46,270 --> 01:19:50,388
Oh, my goodness,
fifty thousand simoleons.
1408
01:19:50,607 --> 01:19:53,098
Heavens to uncle Remus!
1409
01:19:53,193 --> 01:19:55,104
But I can't accept it.
1410
01:19:55,320 --> 01:19:58,357
Johnson: We're prepared
to pay it right now. Tonight.
1411
01:19:58,490 --> 01:20:01,232
Oh, I know you're
prepared to pay it.
1412
01:20:01,368 --> 01:20:04,030
But I'm not prepared to accept it.
1413
01:20:04,121 --> 01:20:06,453
I mean, er... me and my family,
1414
01:20:06,623 --> 01:20:09,035
we've looked forward
to living here all our lives.
1415
01:20:09,126 --> 01:20:10,536
We like it here.
1416
01:20:10,669 --> 01:20:13,411
All those friendly phone calls,
1417
01:20:13,547 --> 01:20:17,005
and any time a nice rock can
come crashing through the window,
1418
01:20:17,175 --> 01:20:20,542
to remind us that people
are still thinking of us.
1419
01:20:20,804 --> 01:20:23,466
Sixty thousand.
That's as high as we can go.
1420
01:20:23,557 --> 01:20:27,675
Oh, come on, try harder.
Seventy-five.
1421
01:20:27,811 --> 01:20:30,598
- All right, seventy-five, but that's...
- You see that?
1422
01:20:30,689 --> 01:20:34,398
- You went higher. Now, try eighty.
- Seventy-five.
1423
01:20:34,484 --> 01:20:35,644
Oh, come on!
1424
01:20:35,736 --> 01:20:38,978
I'll make more than that from my
watermelon patch in just one year.
1425
01:20:39,072 --> 01:20:42,064
Not to mention the admissions
from the revival meeting.
1426
01:20:42,200 --> 01:20:44,782
Eighty.
1427
01:20:44,953 --> 01:20:47,285
Now, try ninety.
1428
01:20:47,372 --> 01:20:52,412
Unless, of course, you don't mind the
smell of fried chicken and ham bones
1429
01:20:52,502 --> 01:20:55,915
just wafting through
your lovely neighbourhood?
1430
01:20:56,006 --> 01:21:00,045
- Ninety.
- Oh, that shore am a lot of money.
1431
01:21:00,177 --> 01:21:03,715
But I like something with, er...
More noughts to it.
1432
01:21:03,805 --> 01:21:06,075
You know, something a bit rounder.
Something with more noughts.
1433
01:21:06,099 --> 01:21:07,589
You know, zeros.
1434
01:21:07,726 --> 01:21:09,967
Johnson: One hundred thousand.
1435
01:21:10,062 --> 01:21:12,724
And that's as high as
we're authorised to go.
1436
01:21:12,814 --> 01:21:15,806
You turn it down,
we're not responsible.
1437
01:21:15,901 --> 01:21:18,358
No. I'll take it. I'll take it.
1438
01:21:18,445 --> 01:21:20,652
Where do I sign?
1439
01:21:20,781 --> 01:21:22,942
You'll find everything in order.
1440
01:21:23,033 --> 01:21:25,740
As you know, Walter's
an officer with the bank.
1441
01:21:25,911 --> 01:21:28,277
It's all pretty standard,
if you care to read it over.
1442
01:21:28,372 --> 01:21:31,785
I think this is the best thing
for everybody all around.
1443
01:21:31,875 --> 01:21:33,411
Jeff: Oh, I think so, too.
1444
01:21:33,502 --> 01:21:34,912
I was gonna sell this house.
1445
01:21:35,045 --> 01:21:36,876
I think the neighbourhood's
a bit too Jewish.
1446
01:21:39,299 --> 01:21:41,130
Well, good night, Jeff.
1447
01:21:41,885 --> 01:21:43,341
Good luck.
1448
01:21:44,179 --> 01:21:47,467
- It's nothing personal.
- Oh, it never is.
1449
01:21:47,641 --> 01:21:50,804
If it was personal,
well, I'd feel real bad.
1450
01:21:53,563 --> 01:21:57,351
Good night, Jeff.
You have two weeks.
1451
01:21:57,567 --> 01:22:00,934
Look, if you have any trouble
and need to store your stuff,
1452
01:22:01,029 --> 01:22:02,985
please call my secretary.
1453
01:22:03,073 --> 01:22:05,940
She'll give you
the necessary assistance.
1454
01:22:07,369 --> 01:22:11,203
Good night, Jeff.
You've gotten a very good deal.
1455
01:22:11,456 --> 01:22:15,950
Perhaps... perhaps it'll make us
seem less villainous in your eyes.
1456
01:22:16,378 --> 01:22:21,589
Good night, Jeff.
Villainous? Don't be silly.
1457
01:22:21,716 --> 01:22:23,456
I know who my friends are.
1458
01:22:23,552 --> 01:22:26,464
And the next nice neighbourhood
I move into,
1459
01:22:26,555 --> 01:22:29,217
you guys'll get
first crack at me.
1460
01:22:33,854 --> 01:22:36,596
A hundred thousand dollars!
1461
01:22:37,899 --> 01:22:40,515
Now, all I gotta do is turn white.
1462
01:22:41,486 --> 01:22:44,273
Boy, would their faces be red!
1463
01:22:47,534 --> 01:22:50,492
You took advantage of them
because you're coloured.
1464
01:22:50,662 --> 01:22:53,995
- How's that?
- Those people were our friends.
1465
01:22:54,082 --> 01:22:56,073
What should I have done?
Given 'em a discount?
1466
01:22:56,168 --> 01:22:57,168
Pushing your way.
1467
01:22:57,294 --> 01:22:59,910
Just pushing, pushing, pushing.
Is that the answer?
1468
01:23:00,005 --> 01:23:02,212
They wanted us
out of the neighbourhood!
1469
01:23:02,299 --> 01:23:06,008
Where do you get that "us" stuff?
You, not us!
1470
01:23:06,136 --> 01:23:08,878
Would you repeat that again?
I don't think I heard that right.
1471
01:23:11,975 --> 01:23:14,091
It's very confusing.
1472
01:23:15,228 --> 01:23:16,343
Forgive me, I...
1473
01:23:16,480 --> 01:23:18,721
There's been a great deal
of pressure on me lately.
1474
01:23:18,815 --> 01:23:20,555
I mean, just answering the phones...
1475
01:23:20,650 --> 01:23:24,438
Well, I haven't been exactly winning
any popularity contests myself.
1476
01:23:24,529 --> 01:23:27,862
Well, it's... it's different with you.
You weren't liked before this happened.
1477
01:23:27,949 --> 01:23:31,908
I was liked. Everybody liked me.
Everybody!
1478
01:23:31,995 --> 01:23:35,453
I hate to tell you this,
but you're supposed to be on my side.
1479
01:23:35,582 --> 01:23:38,665
The marriage contract said
"till death do us part".
1480
01:23:38,752 --> 01:23:41,619
It said that in
black and white, I believe.
1481
01:23:41,755 --> 01:23:44,371
When we got married,
I had no idea it was going to be
1482
01:23:44,466 --> 01:23:46,878
an inter-racial thing.
You never told me.
1483
01:23:46,968 --> 01:23:48,629
Well, I just got wind of it myself.
1484
01:23:48,720 --> 01:23:50,210
If I had known
what was gonna happen,
1485
01:23:50,305 --> 01:23:52,796
I would have put in an escape clause
in your marriage contract.
1486
01:23:52,891 --> 01:23:56,383
"If my husband becomes
a negro, all bets are off."
1487
01:23:56,478 --> 01:23:59,220
How dare you be sarcastic with me?
1488
01:23:59,314 --> 01:24:01,350
I'm the one who was compromised!
1489
01:24:01,441 --> 01:24:03,227
Oh, I'm not angry.
How could I be angry?
1490
01:24:03,318 --> 01:24:04,878
I have a hundred thousand
dollar suntan.
1491
01:24:04,945 --> 01:24:07,231
And why do you insist on being negro?
1492
01:24:07,405 --> 01:24:09,191
I don't insist. I accept it.
1493
01:24:09,908 --> 01:24:13,241
What would you have me do,
dye my hair and insist I'm white?
1494
01:24:13,328 --> 01:24:16,195
You know what I'd look like
with blond hair, althea?
1495
01:24:16,289 --> 01:24:18,154
Like a grilled cheese sandwich!
1496
01:24:18,291 --> 01:24:21,033
Negro humour always escaped me.
1497
01:24:21,127 --> 01:24:25,211
Well, we're learning a lot
about each other, aren't we?
1498
01:24:26,132 --> 01:24:27,872
Yes, we are.
1499
01:24:28,635 --> 01:24:31,342
What happened to the
flaming liberal I was married to?
1500
01:24:31,429 --> 01:24:33,590
I am still liberal...
1501
01:24:33,682 --> 01:24:35,422
But to a point.
1502
01:24:36,810 --> 01:24:38,425
I'm sorry, baby.
1503
01:24:40,272 --> 01:24:43,139
I didn't realise you were
under as much pressure as me.
1504
01:24:45,610 --> 01:24:47,601
Let's forget it tonight.
1505
01:24:47,988 --> 01:24:50,274
Because tonight, it's Wednesday.
1506
01:24:50,782 --> 01:24:53,649
It's Wednesday, and I love you.
1507
01:24:54,119 --> 01:24:56,986
- No, it's Tuesday.
- It's Wednesday.
1508
01:24:57,914 --> 01:24:59,700
I'm sorry, Jeff.
1509
01:25:00,333 --> 01:25:02,289
I have to get my bearings.
1510
01:25:05,338 --> 01:25:07,499
It won't be Wednesday until...
1511
01:25:08,550 --> 01:25:10,711
Until I get my bearings.
1512
01:25:11,136 --> 01:25:15,505
- I'm going to go to sleep, okay?
- Okay.
1513
01:25:19,311 --> 01:25:23,020
Jeff, I sent the kids to my sister's.
1514
01:25:24,441 --> 01:25:26,306
Your sister lives in Indianapolis.
1515
01:25:27,444 --> 01:25:30,652
They'll be there by morning.
Margaret said she'd meet the train.
1516
01:25:31,156 --> 01:25:34,239
I'm sorry, but I wanted them
away from all this,
1517
01:25:34,326 --> 01:25:36,112
if and when the
newspapers find out.
1518
01:25:36,453 --> 01:25:41,117
Chorus:
I where are the children?
1519
01:25:59,893 --> 01:26:04,512
> Where are the children? J
1520
01:27:14,801 --> 01:27:17,588
You were not disappointment.
1521
01:27:19,639 --> 01:27:21,254
You were wonderful.
1522
01:27:22,225 --> 01:27:24,090
Thank you very much.
1523
01:27:28,356 --> 01:27:32,520
In Norway, we have very few negroes.
1524
01:27:32,694 --> 01:27:36,687
Oh, well, er...
I'll tell my buddies. Er...
1525
01:27:36,823 --> 01:27:40,156
Then you'll have a lot of them
in no time at all.
1526
01:27:40,326 --> 01:27:43,989
Negroes have beautiful bodies.
1527
01:27:44,414 --> 01:27:46,996
Yeah, well, I've been working out.
1528
01:27:47,125 --> 01:27:50,083
And when all those black muscles
1529
01:27:50,170 --> 01:27:54,209
all work together to make love,
1530
01:27:54,424 --> 01:27:56,881
it is so very marvellous.
1531
01:27:56,968 --> 01:27:59,209
Yeah, well,
they all work together.
1532
01:27:59,345 --> 01:28:00,630
You know, we're noted for that.
1533
01:28:00,722 --> 01:28:02,804
You know, "the thigh bone
connected to the hip bone".
1534
01:28:02,891 --> 01:28:05,052
You know, they're all just
hooked up just right.
1535
01:28:05,185 --> 01:28:09,303
And the way a negro makes love...
1536
01:28:09,939 --> 01:28:13,102
I can never make love
to a white man again.
1537
01:28:13,318 --> 01:28:17,607
Well, I guess there'll be
a few girls to take up the slack.
1538
01:28:19,157 --> 01:28:24,868
We must make love every night,
and during lunch hours.
1539
01:28:25,580 --> 01:28:27,445
Every spare moment.
1540
01:28:27,540 --> 01:28:29,781
Yeah, well, I think we should
take time off to vote.
1541
01:28:29,918 --> 01:28:32,705
Where are you going?
Is there voting now?
1542
01:28:32,879 --> 01:28:35,461
No, I'm, er... I'm leaving.
1543
01:28:35,548 --> 01:28:37,163
Oh, right.
1544
01:28:38,676 --> 01:28:42,510
- Will I see you tomorrow?
- Oh, yeah. Probably at the office.
1545
01:28:42,639 --> 01:28:44,158
Probably I'll give you
a pinch in the ass.
1546
01:28:44,182 --> 01:28:46,138
You know, give you a little thrill.
1547
01:28:46,309 --> 01:28:48,015
I have disappointed you?
1548
01:28:48,102 --> 01:28:50,809
Oh, no.
Not quite the way you think.
1549
01:28:52,607 --> 01:28:56,475
But yes, you have disappointed me.
1550
01:28:56,611 --> 01:28:58,476
There is something I didn't do?
1551
01:28:58,571 --> 01:29:01,984
Ah, no, er... offhand, er...
1552
01:29:02,075 --> 01:29:04,817
There's nothing I can
think of that, er... we forgot.
1553
01:29:06,913 --> 01:29:08,574
Then why are you leaving?
1554
01:29:08,706 --> 01:29:13,200
Well, I can't expect you
to understand, Erica.
1555
01:29:13,336 --> 01:29:15,702
Explain. I will try.
1556
01:29:15,797 --> 01:29:18,413
I will try anything to please you.
1557
01:29:18,508 --> 01:29:23,719
Okay. Well, try and
understand that, er...
1558
01:29:23,930 --> 01:29:26,046
Beauty's only skin deep.
1559
01:29:26,224 --> 01:29:30,092
And I want you to love me
because of what I am,
1560
01:29:30,436 --> 01:29:32,518
not because I'm a negro.
1561
01:29:32,981 --> 01:29:35,393
You're a very nice man.
1562
01:29:35,733 --> 01:29:37,394
Very courteous.
1563
01:29:37,694 --> 01:29:42,654
You say "please" and "thank you",
so I like you.
1564
01:29:42,824 --> 01:29:45,236
Then why are you leaving?
Did I hurt you?
1565
01:29:45,410 --> 01:29:47,401
Oh, mine god, if I hurt you...
1566
01:29:48,454 --> 01:29:50,536
You're such a great bang.
1567
01:29:50,874 --> 01:29:53,081
But you're a bigot, Erica.
1568
01:29:53,167 --> 01:29:56,705
A big, blonde bigot.
1569
01:29:59,257 --> 01:30:00,997
So, thank you...
1570
01:30:01,926 --> 01:30:03,712
But no thank you.
1571
01:30:03,928 --> 01:30:06,965
- You black bastard!
- You're really getting to it.
1572
01:30:07,140 --> 01:30:08,676
My goodness, in no time at all,
1573
01:30:08,766 --> 01:30:11,348
you'll qualify
for American citizenship.
1574
01:30:11,436 --> 01:30:13,142
Get out of here, you...
1575
01:30:13,229 --> 01:30:14,469
You nigger!
1576
01:30:14,564 --> 01:30:16,725
Ah! By jove, she's got it!
1577
01:30:16,816 --> 01:30:19,228
I really think she's got it.
1578
01:30:19,402 --> 01:30:23,065
Hey, and don't worry about running out
of new words to call me, Erica,
1579
01:30:23,156 --> 01:30:25,522
'cause, in a few years,
you'll know 'em all.
1580
01:30:25,617 --> 01:30:29,201
- Get out, nigger!
- I'm going! Bye, Erica!
1581
01:30:44,469 --> 01:30:46,380
Erica: Rape!
1582
01:30:46,471 --> 01:30:48,211
Bye, Erica.
1583
01:30:51,476 --> 01:30:53,057
Rape!
1584
01:30:54,520 --> 01:30:56,385
Althea: " Jeff,
1585
01:31:07,408 --> 01:31:09,990
"Jeff, I'm sorry.
1586
01:31:10,078 --> 01:31:12,319
"I'm ashamed of myself, and I'm sorry.
1587
01:31:12,455 --> 01:31:14,241
"But I can't help it.
1588
01:31:14,374 --> 01:31:16,706
"I'm going to Indianapolis.
1589
01:31:16,834 --> 01:31:20,452
"Please try to understand. Althea."
1590
01:32:10,388 --> 01:32:12,879
Gladys: Morning, mr gerber.
My goodness, you've been getting
1591
01:32:12,974 --> 01:32:14,965
phone calls this morning
requesting appointments.
1592
01:32:15,059 --> 01:32:17,095
They started coming in
at eight-thirty! And...
1593
01:32:17,186 --> 01:32:19,177
Oh, let's see,
doctor catlin called,
1594
01:32:19,272 --> 01:32:21,934
and, er... well, mr townsend
would like to see you.
1595
01:32:22,025 --> 01:32:23,981
Thank you, Gladys.
1596
01:32:27,447 --> 01:32:29,153
Gladys:
That's a nice tie, mr gerber.
1597
01:32:29,240 --> 01:32:30,776
Thank you.
1598
01:32:34,620 --> 01:32:35,620
Mr townsend?
1599
01:32:35,705 --> 01:32:37,946
Yes, gerber, I sent for you.
Sit down and shut up.
1600
01:32:38,082 --> 01:32:40,038
Screw you.
I'm opening up my own office.
1601
01:32:40,168 --> 01:32:40,873
What?
1602
01:32:40,960 --> 01:32:43,667
I said, "screw you.
I'm opening up my own office."
1603
01:32:43,755 --> 01:32:45,746
Serves you right.
You'll be broke in a week.
1604
01:32:45,840 --> 01:32:47,626
I don't think so.
Some neighbours chipped in,
1605
01:32:47,717 --> 01:32:49,503
and I won't have to worry
for quite a while.
1606
01:32:49,594 --> 01:32:50,709
Townsend? Yes?
1607
01:32:50,803 --> 01:32:52,589
About your breath...
1608
01:33:43,815 --> 01:33:47,899
J girl, we got to make
some kind of deal
1609
01:33:48,027 --> 01:33:51,394
j everything you got give me a thrill
1610
01:33:51,948 --> 01:33:55,566
j don't say no, or I'm gonna die
1611
01:33:56,077 --> 01:33:59,911
j don't you know you
keep me alive?
1612
01:33:59,997 --> 01:34:03,489
J lord knows I gotta
get through to you
1613
01:34:04,335 --> 01:34:07,202
j 'cause there's something
I just gotta do
1614
01:34:07,296 --> 01:34:09,378
chorus:
J yes, you gotta do, you gotta do
1615
01:34:09,507 --> 01:34:11,463
j you gotta do
1616
01:34:12,385 --> 01:34:15,593
Van peebles: J don't throw
my luck in the briar patch
1617
01:34:15,721 --> 01:34:19,464
j you got the key,
and you got the latch
1618
01:34:19,600 --> 01:34:23,388
j I'm soul'd on you, soul sister
1619
01:34:23,479 --> 01:34:27,313
j I'm soul'd on you, my twister
1620
01:34:27,400 --> 01:34:28,981
chorus: J soul'd on you
1621
01:34:31,154 --> 01:34:34,612
j I'm soul'd on you
1622
01:34:36,325 --> 01:34:39,783
Van peebles:
J oh, they called me mr cool before
1623
01:34:39,912 --> 01:34:43,530
j but you got me
poundin' on your front door
1624
01:34:43,666 --> 01:34:47,329
j yes, child, I used to be mr cool
1625
01:34:47,503 --> 01:34:51,121
j but, girl, I'm ready to be a fool
1626
01:34:51,215 --> 01:34:55,424
j it's just realisin' it makes me bold
1627
01:34:56,179 --> 01:34:59,512
j you do somethin' to cool my soul
1628
01:34:59,682 --> 01:35:03,049
j then you'll do my soul
1629
01:35:04,312 --> 01:35:07,019
j don't throw my luck
in the briar patch
1630
01:35:07,106 --> 01:35:10,940
j you got the key,
and you got the latch
1631
01:35:11,027 --> 01:35:15,270
j I'm soul'd on you, soul sister
1632
01:35:15,364 --> 01:35:19,573
j I'm soul'd on you, my twister, lord
1633
01:35:19,660 --> 01:35:21,776
chorus: J soul'd on you
1634
01:35:23,414 --> 01:35:27,123
j I'm soul'd on you
1635
01:35:35,968 --> 01:35:39,802
Van peebles: J lord,
you got me down on bended knees
1636
01:35:39,889 --> 01:35:43,632
j let me hip you
to the birds and bees
1637
01:35:43,726 --> 01:35:48,186
j come on, girl, let's
make it down the trail
1638
01:35:48,272 --> 01:35:51,514
j oh, lord knows
I sure wish you would
1639
01:35:51,609 --> 01:35:55,397
j you know I can't
live without you
1640
01:35:55,571 --> 01:35:59,735
j let me do that thing
I just gotta do
1641
01:35:59,825 --> 01:36:03,659
chorus:
J gotta do, just gotta do
1642
01:36:04,121 --> 01:36:07,409
Van peebles: J don't throw
my luck in the briar patch
1643
01:36:07,708 --> 01:36:10,996
j you got the key,
and you got the latch
1644
01:36:12,171 --> 01:36:15,459
j I'm soul'd on you, soul sister
1645
01:36:15,549 --> 01:36:19,167
j I'm soul'd on you, my twister
1646
01:36:19,262 --> 01:36:20,968
chorus: J soul'd on you
1647
01:36:23,391 --> 01:36:28,055
j I'm soul'd on you, soul'd on you
1648
01:36:29,438 --> 01:36:32,771
j soul'd on you
1649
01:36:32,942 --> 01:36:35,684
Van peebles:
J soul'd on you, soul sister
1650
01:36:36,696 --> 01:36:40,564
& soul'd on you, blood beauty j
1651
01:36:40,700 --> 01:36:43,112
j soul'd on you, brown sugar
1652
01:36:43,202 --> 01:36:46,911
j soul'd on you, soul'd on you
1653
01:36:46,998 --> 01:36:49,114
j somethin' you gotta do
1654
01:36:49,208 --> 01:36:51,540
j get it, get it, get it, getit.. J
1655
01:36:51,627 --> 01:36:52,787
hello.
1656
01:36:52,878 --> 01:36:54,664
Althea: Jeff? Yes.
1657
01:36:54,755 --> 01:36:59,624
- It's althea.
- Althea? Althea, my wife?
1658
01:36:59,969 --> 01:37:02,711
I've been calling everywhere.
The phone's been turned off.
1659
01:37:02,847 --> 01:37:06,635
Well, when I moved out of our house,
I had the phone disconnected.
1660
01:37:07,226 --> 01:37:10,263
- Where are you?
- I finally got you through information.
1661
01:37:10,354 --> 01:37:11,514
I'm in Indianapolis.
1662
01:37:12,648 --> 01:37:14,848
- What's wrong? The kids all right?
- The kids are fine.
1663
01:37:14,900 --> 01:37:18,392
And thanks for sending so
much money. It was very generous.
1664
01:37:18,487 --> 01:37:21,354
Well, they're still my kids,
aren't they?
1665
01:37:21,449 --> 01:37:24,907
Yes, and I'm never going to
let them forget their father.
1666
01:37:24,994 --> 01:37:26,734
Well, thank you.
1667
01:37:26,829 --> 01:37:29,787
It's so nice to be so well
remembered before I die.
1668
01:37:29,957 --> 01:37:34,917
Jeff, hearing your voice...
I mean, on the phone,
1669
01:37:35,004 --> 01:37:36,619
it's like it never happened.
1670
01:37:36,922 --> 01:37:38,708
Not on this end, baby.
1671
01:37:38,924 --> 01:37:42,166
Anyway, I just wanted you to know
that I was thinking of you, and...
1672
01:37:42,261 --> 01:37:44,001
And I hope you're
taking care of yourself.
1673
01:37:44,096 --> 01:37:45,336
I'm fine.
1674
01:37:45,431 --> 01:37:47,342
Still getting your exercise?
1675
01:37:47,433 --> 01:37:50,846
Yes. Althea, you don't have to
worry about me.
1676
01:37:50,936 --> 01:37:52,892
I'm working out in the evenings, now.
1677
01:37:52,980 --> 01:37:56,643
- Promise me that you are.
- Oh, I are. I are.
1678
01:37:56,734 --> 01:37:57,814
You are?
1679
01:37:58,027 --> 01:37:59,437
I are.
1680
01:38:10,790 --> 01:38:12,326
Hal
1681
01:38:15,002 --> 01:38:16,708
everyone: Hal
1682
01:38:19,965 --> 01:38:21,375
hal
1683
01:38:23,928 --> 01:38:24,928
hal
1684
01:38:27,556 --> 01:38:28,671
hal
1685
01:38:31,310 --> 01:38:32,550
solo: Hee...
1686
01:38:32,645 --> 01:38:34,636
Everyone: Hal
1687
01:38:34,730 --> 01:38:37,221
- hee...
- Hal
1688
01:38:38,275 --> 01:38:40,641
- hee...
- Hal
1689
01:38:43,030 --> 01:38:45,237
- hee...
- Hal
1690
01:38:46,158 --> 01:38:48,149
- hee...
- Hal
1691
01:38:59,839 --> 01:39:02,125
J nah, this ain't America
1692
01:39:02,216 --> 01:39:04,127
j you can't fool me
1693
01:39:06,137 --> 01:39:08,594
chorus: J you can't fool me
1694
01:39:08,722 --> 01:39:10,553
Van peebles:
J excuse me, but seriously
1695
01:39:10,641 --> 01:39:12,051
chorus: J you can't fool me
1696
01:39:12,143 --> 01:39:14,475
Van peebles:
J; Which way to the good ol' usa?
1697
01:39:14,562 --> 01:39:16,427
Chorus: J you can't fool me
1698
01:39:16,522 --> 01:39:19,855
Van peebles: J this ain't
nothing like the place I wanna be
1699
01:39:20,651 --> 01:39:23,484
> not as far as I can see
1700
01:39:25,072 --> 01:39:27,734
j I don't care what you say
1701
01:39:28,200 --> 01:39:31,033
j hey, why you pointing that this way?
1702
01:39:32,037 --> 01:39:33,868
J this sure ain't America, is it?
1703
01:39:33,956 --> 01:39:35,992
J nah, this ain't America
1704
01:39:36,083 --> 01:39:38,244
j you can't fool me
1705
01:39:38,461 --> 01:39:40,452
chorus: J you can't fool me
1706
01:39:40,588 --> 01:39:44,254
j you can't fool me
1707
01:39:44,341 --> 01:39:47,174
Van peebles:
J nah, this ain't America
1708
01:39:47,261 --> 01:39:49,422
j you can't fool me j
1709
01:39:49,597 --> 01:39:51,462
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