All language subtitles for The.Simpsons.S34E17.1080p.WEB.H264-CAKES

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:03,727 Whee! 2 00:00:03,729 --> 00:00:05,713 Uh-oh. Aah! 3 00:00:13,572 --> 00:00:14,680 D'oh. 4 00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:26,083 So eggs, which were bad, then good, 5 00:00:26,085 --> 00:00:28,027 then bad again, are now good again. 6 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,770 And... Wait a minute. 7 00:00:29,772 --> 00:00:31,196 Now they're bad again. 8 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:34,349 I can't believe you still watch the local news, Dad. 9 00:00:34,351 --> 00:00:36,109 Local news is great, sweetie. 10 00:00:36,111 --> 00:00:38,428 It's just like your precious Internet, 11 00:00:38,430 --> 00:00:39,872 except you don't post angry comments, 12 00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:42,041 you yell them at the screen. 13 00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:45,102 You call those lottery numbers?! 14 00:00:45,104 --> 00:00:46,953 You call that a weather report? 15 00:00:46,955 --> 00:00:48,196 In other news... 16 00:00:48,198 --> 00:00:49,882 You call that a segue? 17 00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:51,383 A heartbreaking story today 18 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,794 at one of Springfield's oldest establishments. 19 00:00:53,796 --> 00:00:55,220 Stupid local news. 20 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:58,298 Always making everything sound like the end of the world. 21 00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:00,559 Springfield's Bowl-A-Rama 22 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,619 is closing forever. 23 00:01:02,621 --> 00:01:04,121 No! 24 00:01:04,123 --> 00:01:05,230 Why does every place 25 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:08,692 nobody goes to anymore close? 26 00:01:11,146 --> 00:01:13,997 Farewell, workout of the working man. 27 00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:15,390 The thunder of the pins, 28 00:01:15,392 --> 00:01:18,135 the sweet smell of shoe disinfectant, 29 00:01:18,137 --> 00:01:21,062 the beauty of a perfectly-dragged toe. 30 00:01:21,064 --> 00:01:23,064 That alley was magical. 31 00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:24,566 It's where I was initiated 32 00:01:24,568 --> 00:01:26,734 into one of the greatest wonders of my life. 33 00:01:26,736 --> 00:01:29,421 Hey, little squirt. 34 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:33,425 You want to try these new things called nachos? 35 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,985 Oh, big deal. 36 00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:36,820 It's just a stack of tortilla chips. 37 00:01:36,822 --> 00:01:38,388 Is it? 38 00:01:43,178 --> 00:01:45,604 I've licked the face of God. 39 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,004 Mmm. 40 00:01:54,006 --> 00:01:56,264 Homer. 41 00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:58,358 Wait, wait, wait. Was that your daydream 42 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,936 - or little Homer's? - It doesn't matter. 43 00:02:01,938 --> 00:02:03,530 We can't let that alley go out of business. 44 00:02:03,532 --> 00:02:06,700 We'll go there, park our butts on the manager's face, 45 00:02:06,702 --> 00:02:07,626 and never, ever leave. 46 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,777 - Yeah! - Yeah! 47 00:02:09,779 --> 00:02:11,380 Their beer is the best. 48 00:02:12,115 --> 00:02:13,298 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 49 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,858 If you do that, then I'll go out of business. 50 00:02:14,860 --> 00:02:17,694 - Eh. - Yeah. - Mm. 51 00:02:17,696 --> 00:02:19,120 This place is depressing. 52 00:02:19,122 --> 00:02:20,472 Eh, what the hell. 53 00:02:25,704 --> 00:02:27,295 Hey, look, don't blame me. 54 00:02:27,297 --> 00:02:30,274 The lanes are so warped, people just don't want to bowl anymore. 55 00:02:33,970 --> 00:02:36,380 - So, I'm selling out. - Relax, people. 56 00:02:36,382 --> 00:02:39,324 I bought the alley because I love the retro vibe. 57 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,660 Did you know John Waters wears bowling shirts? 58 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,719 Yes. 59 00:02:42,721 --> 00:02:43,887 I'm gonna turn this amazing space 60 00:02:43,889 --> 00:02:47,407 into The Bowl-A-Rama at Springfield Yards. 61 00:02:47,409 --> 00:02:51,077 You'll be able to live, work, doom-scroll, cat-cafe... 62 00:02:51,079 --> 00:02:53,897 - And bowl? - No. No bowling. Ugh. 63 00:02:53,899 --> 00:02:56,066 Hey, pal, if you don't like bowling, you don't like me. 64 00:02:56,068 --> 00:02:59,661 - I don't like you. - Mm. Fair enough. 65 00:02:59,663 --> 00:03:01,162 Terrence, give us one week 66 00:03:01,164 --> 00:03:03,089 to make this alley a going concern. 67 00:03:03,091 --> 00:03:04,591 You'll have more bowlers than a hat shop. 68 00:03:04,593 --> 00:03:07,001 We'll prove you wrong. 69 00:03:07,003 --> 00:03:09,246 Ugh. Can't you just prove me wrong now? 70 00:03:09,248 --> 00:03:10,505 I hate waiting for anything. 71 00:03:10,507 --> 00:03:12,916 One week. 72 00:03:12,918 --> 00:03:14,359 Well, I hate waiting, but I love being proved wrong. 73 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,528 You're on. 74 00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:18,939 We're here for the, uh... 75 00:03:18,941 --> 00:03:22,492 "Night of Everlasting Bowl-mates?" 76 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,542 Uh, maybe we'll just skip the bowling. 77 00:03:32,438 --> 00:03:35,464 Like hell you will. 78 00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:38,625 I'm here for my birthday party, 79 00:03:38,777 --> 00:03:42,796 which you said would be at the Laser Tag and Crocodile Ranch. 80 00:03:42,798 --> 00:03:45,039 How old is this place? 81 00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:47,517 The soda machine doesn't even take phones. 82 00:03:49,121 --> 00:03:51,212 I'll have you know this place is endorsed by a group 83 00:03:51,214 --> 00:03:55,317 that's popular with today's kids: ZZ Top. 84 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,796 How many of these lame-o beard-os are still alive? 85 00:03:59,798 --> 00:04:02,241 All of them. I think. 86 00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,575 Oh, boy. 87 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,560 Oh, attendance is barely up. 88 00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:07,487 And the fire department won't even let me 89 00:04:07,489 --> 00:04:08,747 lock people in. 90 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,733 - Let us out, please. - Never! 91 00:04:11,735 --> 00:04:13,143 Oh. Right. 92 00:04:13,145 --> 00:04:15,145 Come on, Marge, help me out. 93 00:04:15,147 --> 00:04:17,071 Let's bowl the night away. 94 00:04:17,073 --> 00:04:19,258 I don't bowl, Homer. It's your thing. 95 00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:21,743 Please, I just want one thing in this world 96 00:04:21,745 --> 00:04:23,320 to be like it was. 97 00:04:23,322 --> 00:04:24,579 When I drive down Crypto.com Boulevard, 98 00:04:24,581 --> 00:04:27,415 I can barely remember 99 00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:30,918 which cannabis dispensaries used to be Internet cafes. 100 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,662 I don't want to bowl! 101 00:04:32,664 --> 00:04:34,547 Marge, are you concealing 102 00:04:34,549 --> 00:04:37,150 a secret about bowling? 103 00:04:38,428 --> 00:04:40,504 Bowling and life 104 00:04:40,506 --> 00:04:42,263 begin in the hips. 105 00:04:42,265 --> 00:04:43,265 Oh. 106 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,701 D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! 107 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,365 D'oh! 108 00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:55,685 Um, there's something I never told you about my past. 109 00:04:55,687 --> 00:04:57,854 The past. 110 00:04:57,856 --> 00:04:59,356 The past is past. 111 00:04:59,358 --> 00:05:01,374 Do you want to know every little mistake I've made? 112 00:05:01,376 --> 00:05:03,802 - Sort of. - Aah! Let's go bowling. 113 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,972 Now, the ball might seem a little greasy. 114 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,049 Make sure you don't drop it on your foot. 115 00:05:09,051 --> 00:05:10,976 To put it in your language, 116 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,562 it's like rolling a Maggie. 117 00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:17,316 Strike! You got a strike. 118 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:21,111 Pretend you're hurling a roast into an oven 60 feet away. 119 00:05:22,731 --> 00:05:24,472 Are you gonna listen to me or are you gonna bowl? 120 00:05:24,474 --> 00:05:28,552 Watch out, pins. Here comes Mama. 121 00:05:39,581 --> 00:05:42,507 A baby split with company. 122 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,967 I got this. 123 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,830 Wow, Homer. Your wife bowls 124 00:05:48,832 --> 00:05:50,757 like a 60-year-old teamster. 125 00:05:50,759 --> 00:05:52,976 Thank you. 126 00:06:26,128 --> 00:06:29,388 Ooh. I really need to get back in water. 127 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:32,724 Marge, can we have bronto burgers tonight? 128 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,802 Homer, you're not Fred Flintstone. 129 00:06:35,804 --> 00:06:37,687 Yabba dabba d'oh! 130 00:06:38,807 --> 00:06:41,066 Mom! 131 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,626 Somebody get Mama a beer. 132 00:06:43,629 --> 00:06:48,323 He's in that world more than he is with us. 133 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,807 Homie, are you upset that I'm good at your thing? 134 00:06:57,809 --> 00:06:59,993 No, Marge. I am in awe. 135 00:06:59,995 --> 00:07:01,327 You have a gift. 136 00:07:01,329 --> 00:07:03,070 I could no more be mad at you 137 00:07:03,072 --> 00:07:05,424 than at an angel playing horseshoes. 138 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:08,927 You're a butterfly that can kick field goals. 139 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,597 How in God's name did you get so perfect? 140 00:07:16,011 --> 00:07:17,827 - Aah! - Attention. 141 00:07:17,829 --> 00:07:18,753 I have an offer to make, 142 00:07:18,755 --> 00:07:20,588 and like everything hipsters do, 143 00:07:20,590 --> 00:07:21,514 it requires everyone's attention. 144 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,334 Hey, you. You're not looking at me. 145 00:07:24,336 --> 00:07:25,259 Sorry. 146 00:07:25,261 --> 00:07:27,779 Those pearls. That hair. 147 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,949 The game of the '30s played by a dame from the '50s? 148 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:34,411 It's retro on kitsch to the power of vintage. 149 00:07:36,272 --> 00:07:38,348 - Oh. - Here's the pitch, Marge. 150 00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:41,351 You bowl one game against the challenger of my choice. 151 00:07:41,353 --> 00:07:43,778 Win, and the alley stays open. 152 00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:46,298 Lose, and I turn it into a coffee shop so expensive 153 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:49,025 your eyes will bleed. Deal? 154 00:07:49,027 --> 00:07:51,953 Deal. You're going down, Terrence. 155 00:07:51,955 --> 00:07:53,805 In your face. 156 00:07:56,034 --> 00:07:57,792 Sorry. I sh-I shouldn't have done that. 157 00:07:57,794 --> 00:08:01,313 If there's any damage, here's a Best Buy gift card. 158 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,228 Ah, Springfield's greatest bowling mama. 159 00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:11,381 Beppo, Guiseppe, bring-a the meatball. 160 00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:13,492 Hey, a picture for Luigi's Wall of Fame. 161 00:08:14,569 --> 00:08:17,311 Now chop it up. It's today's special. 162 00:08:17,313 --> 00:08:19,146 Tomorrow, into the soup. 163 00:08:19,148 --> 00:08:20,648 Then it goes to the dogs. 164 00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:22,501 Then, back into the soup. 165 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:24,169 What you doing, angel? 166 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,730 Planning for the match. 167 00:08:31,661 --> 00:08:35,997 I can't believe you've never taken a single lesson. 168 00:08:42,581 --> 00:08:44,564 Aah! 169 00:08:46,101 --> 00:08:48,676 Oh, this is so great. 170 00:08:48,678 --> 00:08:50,028 You're saving the town. 171 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,606 I'm sleeping with the woman who's saving the town. 172 00:08:53,608 --> 00:08:55,608 Oh, okay, okay, fine. 173 00:08:55,610 --> 00:08:57,260 I'll bowl the match, 174 00:08:57,262 --> 00:08:58,686 no matter what the danger is to our marriage. 175 00:08:58,688 --> 00:09:02,374 That's my girl. Sleep well, lady of the lane. 176 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:06,102 Now I have some mental work to do of my own. 177 00:09:09,958 --> 00:09:12,125 Mmm. Pizza. 178 00:09:12,127 --> 00:09:13,276 Tastes as good off the ceiling 179 00:09:13,278 --> 00:09:15,887 as it does off the floor. 180 00:09:37,636 --> 00:09:42,155 We did to that ball what we did to Hitler's bombs... 181 00:09:42,157 --> 00:09:43,248 Got out of the way. 182 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:46,084 What's going on? Mom's got the yips. 183 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,586 How do you know? 184 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:50,404 There's something in me that senses when trouble is brewing. 185 00:09:50,406 --> 00:09:51,831 It's a sign of early neurosis, 186 00:09:51,833 --> 00:09:54,667 but it's irrelevant that my feelings are always accurate, 187 00:09:54,669 --> 00:09:56,336 and I've got to remember that. 188 00:09:58,323 --> 00:10:00,265 Marge, you need confidence. 189 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,583 This calls for the most exclusive level 190 00:10:02,585 --> 00:10:04,251 of therapist there is: 191 00:10:04,253 --> 00:10:07,163 a professional bowling instructor. 192 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,853 Hello, Marge. 193 00:10:13,855 --> 00:10:15,763 Oh, God. Oh, God. 194 00:10:15,765 --> 00:10:17,598 Please be another fantasy. 195 00:10:18,309 --> 00:10:20,526 Shoo! Shoo, shoo. Shoo! 196 00:10:20,528 --> 00:10:22,528 Stop with the "shoo." It is I, in the flesh. 197 00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:26,182 You like the way I just said that word, "flesh"? 198 00:10:26,184 --> 00:10:28,184 I can make anything sound erotic. 199 00:10:28,186 --> 00:10:30,462 Garbage disposal. 200 00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:32,689 Toilet plunger. 201 00:10:32,691 --> 00:10:33,206 Lollipop. 202 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,467 Enough with the words. 203 00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,193 What are you doing here? 204 00:10:37,195 --> 00:10:38,862 I brought him. 205 00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:41,381 Homer, do you know who he is? 206 00:10:41,383 --> 00:10:42,641 I sure do. 207 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:47,220 He's the best darn bowling instructor in the city. 208 00:10:47,222 --> 00:10:49,147 I'm not sure I'm comfortable with a... 209 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,541 French bowling instructor. 210 00:10:51,543 --> 00:10:54,711 "Homair," may I speak to your wife, please? Alone? 211 00:10:54,713 --> 00:10:57,213 Hey, I don't need to know how the sausage is made. 212 00:10:57,215 --> 00:10:58,823 Just start grinding. 213 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:01,826 Going to Moe's. 214 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,310 Don't worry, Marge. 215 00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:04,996 My interest in you is purely professional. 216 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,648 Why are you in my ear? 217 00:11:07,650 --> 00:11:11,060 Oh, would you rather I be in your nose? I don't think so. 218 00:11:11,062 --> 00:11:13,838 Quite frankly, Marge, I'm hard of speaking. 219 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,065 How can I believe your interest in me 220 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:17,992 is just professional? 221 00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:19,068 If I am lying, may I... 222 00:11:19,070 --> 00:11:21,905 never taste cheese again. 223 00:11:21,907 --> 00:11:24,165 Wow. Wow. 224 00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:25,517 See you tomorrow at 10:00. 225 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,911 And what if you show up and I'm not there? 226 00:11:27,913 --> 00:11:30,021 Then a good and decent man who loves you 227 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,081 will suffer horribly. 228 00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:33,358 I mean, of course, "Homair." 229 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,026 You mean Homer? 230 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,195 That's what I said... "Homair." 231 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,589 He needs you to win now, more than "evair." 232 00:11:39,591 --> 00:11:42,592 And don't worry. We will not have an affair. 233 00:11:42,594 --> 00:11:44,185 Because fair is fair. 234 00:11:44,187 --> 00:11:45,853 And I love your hair. 235 00:11:45,855 --> 00:11:47,430 And now I'm off in my Corvair. 236 00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:51,358 Oh, I don't have a Corvair. Horrible car. 237 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,212 It was the only one I could think of to rhyme. Stupid. 238 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,030 Oh, you're still here. 239 00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:58,291 Great teacher. Don't wait up. 240 00:11:58,293 --> 00:12:00,443 Imagine you are waltzing with the ball. 241 00:12:00,445 --> 00:12:04,297 Un, deux, trois. Un, deux, trois. 242 00:12:04,299 --> 00:12:07,425 What kind of bowling instructor wears a turtleneck? 243 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,619 I don't say "mark my words" often, 244 00:12:09,621 --> 00:12:12,121 but mark my words. 245 00:12:12,123 --> 00:12:14,123 He's up to no good. 246 00:12:14,125 --> 00:12:16,217 Mark my words. 247 00:12:16,219 --> 00:12:19,462 What? You're crazy. I'm getting six beers. 248 00:12:19,464 --> 00:12:21,722 So, should I start my slide earlier? 249 00:12:21,724 --> 00:12:24,467 A better question is what are you still doing with him? 250 00:12:24,469 --> 00:12:27,746 Clearly, he must have changed his ways, huh? 251 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,656 Improved? Lost a pound or 20? 252 00:12:30,658 --> 00:12:34,586 Yes, he has, in too many ways to mention, so I won't. 253 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,996 So, then he's not still buying you bowling balls 254 00:12:36,998 --> 00:12:39,073 for presents, is he? 255 00:12:39,075 --> 00:12:41,408 He apologized for that. 256 00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:43,595 Do you ever think of the night you almost came to me? 257 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:47,581 I had showered four times, I shaved my face twice, 258 00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:49,250 I shaved my back once. 259 00:12:49,252 --> 00:12:50,994 I was ready for you, Marge. 260 00:12:50,996 --> 00:12:53,772 Later on in the evening when the doorbell rang, 261 00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:56,441 I closed my eyes, I opened the door, and I kissed. 262 00:12:56,443 --> 00:13:00,003 Unfortunately, I forgot I had ordered DoorDash. 263 00:13:00,005 --> 00:13:04,173 It was some 20-year-old kid holding a roast beef sandwich. 264 00:13:04,175 --> 00:13:07,010 Apparently, he came out the next day. 265 00:13:07,012 --> 00:13:08,745 You said just bowling. 266 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,182 I am the only one who can help you with this match. 267 00:13:13,184 --> 00:13:14,517 And if there's anything a Frenchman wants 268 00:13:14,536 --> 00:13:17,629 more than a beautiful woman, it is to beat Americans 269 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:18,779 at the game they love. 270 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:23,026 And then, of course, a 12-course meal, with a fine wine 271 00:13:23,028 --> 00:13:24,694 and maybe a snail, 272 00:13:24,696 --> 00:13:27,955 and somebody else at the table to pick up the check. 273 00:13:27,957 --> 00:13:31,309 - Are we gonna talk or are we gonna bowl? - Fine. 274 00:13:42,213 --> 00:13:44,305 Are you worried yet? 275 00:13:44,307 --> 00:13:46,732 Oh, I'd be worried if I didn't know for a fact 276 00:13:46,734 --> 00:13:50,161 that no man has ever lost a woman to a professional bowler. 277 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,363 Ever. 278 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:53,999 Uh-oh. 279 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,488 Now, your power comes from your shoulders, 280 00:14:01,490 --> 00:14:03,232 which I notice, in your case, are always bare. 281 00:14:03,234 --> 00:14:05,492 Eh, let me massage them. 282 00:14:05,494 --> 00:14:06,845 Don't worry. It's strictly professional. 283 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,996 There we go. Here we go. 284 00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:11,332 - Mmm. - Let me just... 285 00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:13,242 - Aw. - Yes. Ow. Okay. 286 00:14:13,244 --> 00:14:15,928 - Cut it out! - Stop it now? 287 00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:17,188 No more? Okay. 288 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,691 Son, how do I put this? 289 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,268 I was right! I was right! I was right! 290 00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:27,273 Now, son, if I need the 411 on someone one-one, 291 00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:31,202 Old people with nothing better to do. 292 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,614 You can learn anything you want from discarded human beings. 293 00:14:34,616 --> 00:14:37,767 Jasper, it's Abe. I need any information you got 294 00:14:37,769 --> 00:14:42,029 on a slick-shoed Casanova. First name, Jacques. 295 00:14:42,031 --> 00:14:43,697 On it. 296 00:14:43,699 --> 00:14:47,034 We need the rundown on this Marquis de Spare. 297 00:14:47,036 --> 00:14:48,887 We'll lay him lower than my earlobes. 298 00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:52,223 Hang him as high as my pants. 299 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:55,968 There will never be another Tony Orlando. 300 00:14:55,970 --> 00:14:57,820 Take a gander at his Facebook page. 301 00:15:01,309 --> 00:15:03,292 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! What the... 302 00:15:03,294 --> 00:15:06,220 I don't know what shocks me more... these photos 303 00:15:06,222 --> 00:15:07,662 or that you know how to use Facebook. 304 00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:14,137 Let me in. Let me in! 305 00:15:14,139 --> 00:15:16,230 No. I'm naked, and if you see me, 306 00:15:16,232 --> 00:15:18,750 you will feel inferior forever. 307 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:22,378 Americans don't know how to feel inferior, even if we should. 308 00:15:27,243 --> 00:15:29,318 I've been such a fool. 309 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,837 I was so worried about the bowling alley 310 00:15:31,839 --> 00:15:33,156 I lost sight of what will always be 311 00:15:33,158 --> 00:15:36,434 the most important thing in my life: 312 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,010 my Marge. 313 00:15:38,012 --> 00:15:40,496 I'll never take her for granted again. 314 00:15:40,498 --> 00:15:44,167 That is correct. Because you have already lost her. 315 00:15:44,169 --> 00:15:46,852 Oh, yeah? As we say in my country, 316 00:15:46,854 --> 00:15:48,337 en garde! 317 00:15:50,175 --> 00:15:51,932 - Just let me... - That was autographed. 318 00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:53,693 Smash your head. 319 00:16:16,534 --> 00:16:19,143 Now tell me the one thing I have to know. 320 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,053 How far did you get with Marge? 321 00:16:21,055 --> 00:16:23,464 We had brunch, no hot food. 322 00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:26,800 Brunch? That's breakfast getting it on with lunch. 323 00:16:26,802 --> 00:16:29,045 Homer, wait! 324 00:16:29,047 --> 00:16:29,988 Nothing happened with him. 325 00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:32,639 You probably don't even remember. 326 00:16:32,641 --> 00:16:35,809 You had disappointed me and I was upset. 327 00:16:35,811 --> 00:16:37,720 Oh. Right. 328 00:16:37,722 --> 00:16:39,071 I remember that exactly. 329 00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:58,424 Geez, Marge, if you're still here after all that, 330 00:16:58,426 --> 00:17:00,593 plus some stuff you don't know about, 331 00:17:00,595 --> 00:17:02,186 you must really love me. 332 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:06,432 I do. With all my heart. Mm. 333 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,086 Nothing worse than a committed relationship. 334 00:17:10,088 --> 00:17:11,921 I'm going to vomit. 335 00:17:11,923 --> 00:17:12,755 You said it was strictly bowling. 336 00:17:12,757 --> 00:17:16,183 You swore on cheese. 337 00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:19,037 I never cared for cheese. What is it, even? 338 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:22,022 Is it an appetizer or dessert? Nobody knows. 339 00:17:22,024 --> 00:17:23,599 Some come, they look okay. 340 00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:25,192 Other come, they got holes in it. 341 00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:26,285 Those are the more expensive ones. 342 00:17:26,287 --> 00:17:28,621 Why would you pay more money for holes? 343 00:17:28,623 --> 00:17:29,955 We're leaving. 344 00:17:29,957 --> 00:17:32,199 Go ahead. Enjoy your endless bourgeois celebrations 345 00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:35,202 and your birthdays and your anniversaries 346 00:17:35,204 --> 00:17:39,465 until you crumble into enviable bliss. 347 00:17:39,467 --> 00:17:40,800 We will. 348 00:17:40,802 --> 00:17:41,802 Help me clean up. 349 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,233 Oh, so, Marge, word is your coach quit 350 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,070 and you can't get that bowling arm out of its own head. 351 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:54,054 Wow. 352 00:17:54,056 --> 00:17:56,056 Poor Marge. Aw. 353 00:17:56,058 --> 00:17:58,467 My thoughts about bowling were conflicting 354 00:17:58,469 --> 00:18:02,121 with something personal, but not anymore. 355 00:18:03,399 --> 00:18:04,490 Huh. Nice practice strike. 356 00:18:04,826 --> 00:18:07,660 Now let me introduce you to the bowler you'll be facing. 357 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,089 Jacques? 358 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,999 Indeed. I was the master and you the pupil. 359 00:18:14,001 --> 00:18:16,001 Now, I'm still very good. 360 00:18:16,003 --> 00:18:18,170 You are also good, but inconsistent. 361 00:18:18,172 --> 00:18:19,989 Like French tennis players... 362 00:18:19,991 --> 00:18:22,842 Great on clay, shambles on grass. 363 00:18:22,844 --> 00:18:24,936 Hard court, an embarrassment. 364 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,087 Always hurting themselves. 365 00:18:27,089 --> 00:18:29,590 "Oh, my knee, my ankle, 366 00:18:29,592 --> 00:18:30,924 I've got to forfeit." 367 00:18:30,926 --> 00:18:32,184 Now let us bowl. 368 00:18:59,881 --> 00:19:01,264 Yes! 369 00:19:07,722 --> 00:19:09,705 - Cutman. - Are ya sure, Ma? 370 00:19:09,707 --> 00:19:10,964 - Are ya sure? - Do it. 371 00:19:10,966 --> 00:19:13,058 I've seen a lot of bowlers in my eight years, 372 00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:17,029 but no one's got bigger pearls than you. 373 00:19:20,902 --> 00:19:23,644 That's it, Marge... Le moment de vérité. 374 00:19:23,646 --> 00:19:26,497 And if that weren't enough, I am dying. 375 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,833 - Oh! - No! 376 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,226 Ah, as we all are. 377 00:19:30,228 --> 00:19:32,745 In the existential sense. Not now. 378 00:19:32,747 --> 00:19:34,246 Just roll. 379 00:19:34,248 --> 00:19:36,132 D'oh. 380 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,993 My God. 381 00:19:39,995 --> 00:19:42,071 She's left herself a Greek Church split. 382 00:19:42,073 --> 00:19:43,589 Which, though little known, 383 00:19:43,591 --> 00:19:46,058 is actually the hardest spare to pick up. 384 00:19:48,262 --> 00:19:51,914 Oh, my God. I can read what's behind those pins. 385 00:19:51,916 --> 00:19:54,609 She still has feelings for him. 386 00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:06,186 Ooh, she's been staring at that ceiling for 40 minutes. 387 00:20:06,188 --> 00:20:09,582 Eh. Still the most exciting bowling match I've ever seen. 388 00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:20,384 I have lost everything. 389 00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,127 And we just found out you're here 390 00:20:22,129 --> 00:20:24,129 on an expired bowling visa. 391 00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:27,116 You're going back where you came from: Paris. 392 00:20:27,118 --> 00:20:29,134 No, no, no. Paris? There's nothing there 393 00:20:29,136 --> 00:20:31,470 but sex and food and all of August off. 394 00:20:31,472 --> 00:20:33,046 No, no, no. 395 00:20:33,048 --> 00:20:36,809 Ah, that's enough dirty talk out of you, pal. 396 00:20:48,063 --> 00:20:50,063 Well, looks like you're gonna have 397 00:20:50,065 --> 00:20:52,399 to keep this a bowling alley. 398 00:20:52,401 --> 00:20:55,253 A very popular alley, which I now own. 399 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:58,589 I'm gonna make it one lane only with a three-month waiting list. 400 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,092 Hipsters rule. 401 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:04,595 Oh, Marge, you saved my alley, you saved my ego. 402 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,264 You do love me after all. 403 00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:08,933 Was there ever any doubt? 404 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,083 Yes! 405 00:21:10,085 --> 00:21:11,727 - Mm. - Mm. 406 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:29,704 Shh! 407 00:21:29,728 --> 00:21:31,728 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org 29266

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.