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1
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:05,087
(FINGERS SNAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)
2
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,318
♪ They're creepy and they're kooky
3
00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:22,254
♪ Mysterious and spooky
4
00:00:22,306 --> 00:00:24,206
♪ They're altogether ooky
5
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:26,324
♪ The Addams family
6
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:28,310
♪ The house is a museum
7
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:30,295
♪ When people come to see 'em
8
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,363
♪ They really are a scream
9
00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:34,132
♪ The Addams family
10
00:00:35,418 --> 00:00:36,502
MAN: Neat.
11
00:00:37,188 --> 00:00:38,253
Sweet.
12
00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:42,340
Petite.
13
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,225
♪ So get a witch's shawl on
14
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,244
♪ A broomstick you can crawl on
15
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:48,180
♪ We're gonna pay a call on
16
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:51,066
♪ The Addams family ♪
17
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,882
Is this where
the Addams family lives?
18
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,517
Yeah.
19
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,819
You going in there?
20
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,320
I'm the truant officer.
21
00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:31,105
They've got two kids
who have never
set foot in school.
22
00:01:31,875 --> 00:01:33,258
Good luck, Charlie.
23
00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:35,326
(CREAKS)
24
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:04,589
(FOGHORN SOUNDING)
25
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:05,890
(DOOR CREAKING)
26
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:10,879
Hello.
27
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:13,498
Hello.
28
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,800
Uh, you must be one of
the Addams children.
29
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,218
I'm Wednesday.
30
00:02:17,287 --> 00:02:18,903
I'm Mr. Hilliard.
31
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,421
Are your parents at home?
32
00:02:20,490 --> 00:02:22,323
They're always at home.
33
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:23,908
I'd like to see them.
34
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,928
You mean you wanna come in?
35
00:02:25,996 --> 00:02:27,378
If you don't mind.
36
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,773
(BRUNO GROWLING)
37
00:02:43,447 --> 00:02:45,013
(BRUNO GROWLING)
38
00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:52,938
Nice place you've
got here, Wednesday.
39
00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:56,542
We like it.
It's so nice and gloomy.
40
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,806
(BIRDS CAWING)
41
00:03:12,375 --> 00:03:13,474
Who's that?
42
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,794
WEDNESDAY: That used to be
a friend of my daddy's.
43
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,271
Wednesday!
44
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:28,940
Wednesday.
45
00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:34,362
Here. I fixed it for you.
46
00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:36,881
Pugsley is very handy.
47
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,551
Fixed her? That doll
doesn't have a head.
48
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,069
It's Marie Antoinette.
49
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,805
Grandmama told us about
the French Revolution
50
00:03:43,874 --> 00:03:45,974
and Pugsley
chopped off her head.
51
00:03:46,042 --> 00:03:47,041
(GRUNTS)
52
00:03:48,612 --> 00:03:50,262
Meet you out in the cemetery.
53
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,214
Mommy is in the conservatory.
54
00:04:01,859 --> 00:04:03,574
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
55
00:04:13,904 --> 00:04:17,839
Why, you perked up
my African strangler.
56
00:04:17,908 --> 00:04:19,908
Come here, darling.
57
00:04:19,977 --> 00:04:22,476
Mommy, this is Mr. Hilliard.
58
00:04:22,545 --> 00:04:24,229
How do you do, Mr. Hilliard?
59
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:25,931
Uh, Mrs. Addams,
I was sent here...
60
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,333
My hemlock has been
very listless lately.
61
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:29,951
Do you know
anything about hemlock?
62
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:32,404
No, Mrs. Addams.
I was sent here to...
63
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:34,022
Oh, what a pity.
64
00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:36,808
I think I'll run along
and bury Marie Antoinette.
65
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,059
Have fun, dear.
66
00:04:39,763 --> 00:04:43,264
Just look at my
beautiful poison oak.
67
00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:45,634
Every leaf so alive.
68
00:04:46,904 --> 00:04:50,739
Mrs. Addams, your children
are six and eight years old...
69
00:04:50,807 --> 00:04:52,908
And growing like toadstools.
70
00:04:52,976 --> 00:04:55,343
My hemlock
continues to droop.
71
00:04:55,412 --> 00:04:57,712
They've got to attend school.
72
00:04:57,781 --> 00:04:59,080
It's the law.
73
00:04:59,149 --> 00:05:01,650
Oh, I'd love to discuss
that with you, Mr. Hilliard,
74
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,084
but you see, I can't.
75
00:05:03,153 --> 00:05:04,920
You must speak to my husband.
76
00:05:04,988 --> 00:05:07,906
The law is his responsibility.
77
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,192
(GONG RESOUNDING)
78
00:05:10,260 --> 00:05:12,627
That's quite a bell.
79
00:05:12,696 --> 00:05:15,130
Yes, Gomez is
very fond of it.
80
00:05:15,199 --> 00:05:17,399
But we can never use it
when we have
a cake in the oven.
81
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:25,106
Hello, Mr. Addams.
82
00:05:25,175 --> 00:05:26,875
I didn't hear you come in.
83
00:05:26,943 --> 00:05:28,593
Lurch is our butler.
84
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,228
He will take you
to Mr. Addams.
85
00:05:31,448 --> 00:05:32,747
Uh, couldn't I just stay here?
86
00:05:32,816 --> 00:05:35,717
I'm sure you and I
can settle this matter.
87
00:05:35,785 --> 00:05:39,254
On the other hand,
perhaps it would be better
to see Mr. Addams.
88
00:05:39,323 --> 00:05:41,823
(IN BARITONE VOICE)
Follow me.
89
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,584
My poor little hemlock.
90
00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:55,286
Where have I failed you?
91
00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:57,989
I know.
92
00:05:58,057 --> 00:06:00,892
You haven't been getting
enough moonlight.
93
00:06:12,355 --> 00:06:15,073
Mr. Addams.
94
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:32,757
Mr. Addams, I am Sam Hilliard
from the Sherwood School.
95
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,542
How do you do, Mr. Hilliard?
96
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,611
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
97
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,580
HILLIARD: I just stopped
by to talk to you about...
98
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:39,998
(ALARM BLARING)
They're gonna crash.
99
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,232
You think so, huh?
100
00:06:43,954 --> 00:06:45,604
Beautiful. Beautiful.
101
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,539
You meant to blow them up?
102
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:49,974
Of course.
Why else would a grown man
play with trains?
103
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,810
You wanna blow
the other bridge?
104
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,177
Oh, some other time.
105
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,364
You know how it is
with a small child
and new trains.
106
00:06:56,432 --> 00:06:57,632
What can I do for you?
107
00:06:57,701 --> 00:07:00,267
Uh, it's about sending
the children to school.
108
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,420
Oh, Mama's in charge
of the education.
109
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:05,290
She's in the guest room
playing darts
with Uncle Fester.
110
00:07:06,276 --> 00:07:08,042
But they've got
to go to school.
111
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,944
Everybody sends
their kids to school.
112
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,514
Ridiculous. Why have children
just to get rid of them?
113
00:07:12,582 --> 00:07:14,149
I'm opposed to
the whole nonsense.
114
00:07:14,217 --> 00:07:16,017
But don't you
want them to learn?
115
00:07:16,086 --> 00:07:17,352
Learn, you say?
116
00:07:20,323 --> 00:07:22,590
Look at that.
Little Wednesday's.
117
00:07:22,658 --> 00:07:23,825
Spiders.
118
00:07:23,894 --> 00:07:24,993
Pedigreed.
119
00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:29,914
Ever known a child who could
raise thoroughbred spiders?
120
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:31,616
No.
121
00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:32,800
There you are.
122
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,503
But I was referring
to more formal learning.
123
00:07:35,572 --> 00:07:37,038
Uh, reading.
124
00:07:37,106 --> 00:07:39,306
What is there for
a six-year-old to read?
125
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:40,975
But someday she'll be 26.
126
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:43,762
See you then.
127
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:47,782
Mr. Addams, surely you want
your youngsters to be
like other children.
128
00:07:47,850 --> 00:07:49,217
But they are.
129
00:07:49,286 --> 00:07:51,319
You should see little Pugsley
wrestling with his octopus.
130
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,388
A live octopus?
He's all boy.
131
00:07:53,457 --> 00:07:54,889
What if he bites him?
132
00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:56,857
Mr. Hilliard,
Pugsley doesn't bite.
133
00:07:56,926 --> 00:07:58,493
A little nip now
and then perhaps.
134
00:07:58,562 --> 00:07:59,760
But it's all in fun.
135
00:07:59,829 --> 00:08:01,729
Well, look,
this isn't my idea.
136
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:03,064
The board of education...
137
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:04,932
We have our own
board of education.
138
00:08:05,001 --> 00:08:07,335
Mama tutors the children
in all the fine arts.
139
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,170
Music, painting, ballet.
140
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,871
She's the longhair
of the family.
141
00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:12,673
And a fantastic dart player.
142
00:08:17,096 --> 00:08:18,863
You only got 10 points.
143
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:21,166
I nipped him in the ear,
didn't I?
144
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:23,518
Ear? Watch the master.
145
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:29,023
You're standing
right in my way.
146
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,959
It's the only safe place.
147
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,578
Step aside.
148
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:35,747
Now watch this one.
149
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:36,965
Right in the old gizzard.
150
00:08:37,034 --> 00:08:39,250
This is the guest room.
151
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,340
That was close.
152
00:08:45,409 --> 00:08:47,342
Go ahead, Fester,
you get another shot.
153
00:08:47,411 --> 00:08:49,243
This time, get him
right in the old heart.
154
00:08:49,312 --> 00:08:51,229
(SCREAMING)
155
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,715
What's the matter
with your friend?
156
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:55,900
I don't know.
157
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,101
(DOOR SLAMS)
Weird, isn't he?
158
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,472
HILLIARD: Then that crazy
plant grabbed me.
159
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,341
And you should've seen
how happy he was
when he blew up the bridge.
160
00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:07,245
And that big monster
they call a butler.
161
00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:09,614
He would've
frightened Frankenstein.
162
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:12,283
Now, Mr. Hilliard, really.
163
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,535
I was there.
164
00:09:13,603 --> 00:09:16,404
That knife was aimed
straight at my heart.
165
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,839
Now, now, calm down.
166
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:21,459
But I got away.
167
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:24,011
Please try and pull
yourself together.
168
00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:27,198
Mr. Hilliard,
169
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,950
if you'll take my advice,
you'll go home
170
00:09:30,019 --> 00:09:32,520
and lie down for a while.
171
00:09:32,588 --> 00:09:33,972
If you take my advice,
172
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:37,409
you'll leave those Addams kids
right where they are.
173
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,886
That's the closet. I'm sorry.
174
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,041
I never knew he drank.
175
00:10:09,626 --> 00:10:12,394
Oh, the thorns are
so much larger this fall.
176
00:10:16,066 --> 00:10:17,865
Lovely, Morticia.
177
00:10:17,934 --> 00:10:19,467
You have such
a way with roses.
178
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,002
Thank you, Gomez.
179
00:10:21,071 --> 00:10:22,603
(THUNDER CRASHING)
180
00:10:25,675 --> 00:10:27,542
Did I just hear
a peal of thunder?
181
00:10:27,610 --> 00:10:29,744
You did, Tish. You did.
182
00:10:29,812 --> 00:10:32,747
Oh, that's the most
heavenly sound.
183
00:10:32,815 --> 00:10:34,582
It makes life worth living.
184
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,720
You remember our honeymoon,
Gomez?
185
00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:42,623
Who could forget
our first night
in Death Valley.
186
00:10:42,692 --> 00:10:44,259
There was a stillness
in the air.
187
00:10:44,327 --> 00:10:45,326
Tish.
188
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,028
The moon was full.
189
00:10:47,097 --> 00:10:50,665
And that lovely soft
fluttering of bat wings.
190
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,735
And the divine cave.
191
00:10:56,273 --> 00:10:57,872
You're so romantic, Tish.
192
00:10:59,342 --> 00:11:01,576
I think they're
waiting for us, Gomez.
193
00:11:01,644 --> 00:11:03,278
(LURCH PLAYING HARPSICHORD)
194
00:11:03,346 --> 00:11:05,280
The music is so lovely.
195
00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:20,444
Look, darling.
I finished it this morning.
196
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,848
How do you think
Cousin Imar is going to
like his new sweater?
197
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:26,450
Uh-huh.
198
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,155
That's odd.
199
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,191
What's odd, dear?
200
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,860
I didn't know Cousin Imar
wore turtleneck sweaters.
201
00:11:45,688 --> 00:11:47,521
(PLAYING ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC)
202
00:12:01,170 --> 00:12:02,704
(PLAYING TANGO MUSIC)
203
00:12:16,519 --> 00:12:18,653
Mmm. Querida.
204
00:12:29,598 --> 00:12:31,015
(ALARM SOUNDING)
205
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,034
The mail's in.
206
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,170
Never mind, Lurch.
I'll get it.
207
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,563
Thank you, Thing.
208
00:12:51,054 --> 00:12:52,687
It's for you, Mommy.
209
00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:54,205
Thank you, darling.
210
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,378
Oh, isn't that sweet?
211
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,113
What is it, Tish?
212
00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:06,617
The Sherwood School
insists that we enroll
the children immediately.
213
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,153
We must've made
a very good impression
on that Mr. Hilliard.
214
00:13:09,221 --> 00:13:11,756
Morticia, you can't send
the children to school.
215
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,524
I'll be lost without them.
216
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:15,976
Gomez,
I've seen little Wednesday
217
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,379
looking out the fence
at the other children.
218
00:13:18,448 --> 00:13:20,781
I think she wants
to play with them.
219
00:13:20,850 --> 00:13:23,484
Well, she didn't get that
from my side of the family.
220
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,220
School?
221
00:13:26,289 --> 00:13:29,757
I never went to school,
and look how I turned out.
222
00:13:29,825 --> 00:13:34,912
Uncle Fester, looks,
charm and personality
aren't everything.
223
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,832
There's such a thing as
learning and accomplishment.
224
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,450
Accomplishment?
225
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,853
Who else do you know
that's 110 volts?
226
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:43,204
FESTER: Watch!
227
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,341
(BUZZING)
228
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,726
Beautiful.
229
00:13:48,794 --> 00:13:50,461
I can even make it blink.
230
00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:52,680
(BUZZING)
231
00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:00,655
You do have natural talent,
Uncle Fester.
232
00:14:00,723 --> 00:14:05,092
But that has nothing to do
with learning or knowledge.
233
00:14:05,161 --> 00:14:08,046
I'll call the school
and tell them we'll be
there in the morning.
234
00:14:09,031 --> 00:14:10,398
Morticia.
235
00:14:10,466 --> 00:14:11,899
Gomez.
236
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,568
Darling.
237
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:19,473
Mother knows best.
Now, believe me.
238
00:14:19,542 --> 00:14:21,926
We'll send
the children to school.
239
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,512
School? That's for kids.
240
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:26,947
(PLAYING HARPSICHORD)
241
00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:37,792
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
242
00:14:39,529 --> 00:14:42,846
I'm sure the children
are going to be
very happy here.
243
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,649
If we wanted them to be happy,
we'd have let them stay home.
244
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,585
Now, Miss Comstock, I...
245
00:14:52,842 --> 00:14:55,109
Wasn't that that nice
Mr. Hilliard?
246
00:14:55,178 --> 00:14:57,261
He certainly is
an odd one, isn't he?
247
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,030
Have you noticed it, too?
248
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:00,698
Yes.
249
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:03,634
Why, do you know,
he suddenly ran out of
our house the other day?
250
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:06,720
Frightened by
a simple game of darts.
251
00:15:06,789 --> 00:15:09,890
I'm going to have to have
another talk with him.
252
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,277
B-O-O-Z-E.
253
00:15:13,729 --> 00:15:15,763
Booze.
254
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,299
Really?
I guess I underestimated him.
255
00:15:18,368 --> 00:15:19,850
Come along, children.
256
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,236
Be good today,
Wednesday, Pugsley.
257
00:15:22,305 --> 00:15:24,038
PUGSLEY: All right.
Goodbye, children.
258
00:15:24,107 --> 00:15:25,373
Goodbye.
259
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:29,093
Oh, dear.
260
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,862
I'm going to miss the patter
of their little feet
261
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,132
sneaking up behind me.
262
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,218
I'm so glad we had
no trouble with this.
263
00:15:37,287 --> 00:15:41,389
Of course, these cases
bring the superintendent
down on our necks.
264
00:15:41,457 --> 00:15:44,692
And he's the most difficult,
troublesome man.
265
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,612
Oh?
266
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,748
COMSTOCK: And there's
always one like that
in the school system.
267
00:15:50,816 --> 00:15:52,733
GOMEZ: Well, I know
just how to handle it.
268
00:15:52,802 --> 00:15:57,771
You get me his picture
and I'll send it to
my friend DuBois in Haiti.
269
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,174
When he's through
sticking pins in it...
270
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,627
Gomez.
271
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:05,395
You haven't heard
from DuBois in years.
272
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,681
He may not be taking
mail orders anymore.
273
00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:12,186
How about a nice old-fashioned
horse whipping?
274
00:16:12,255 --> 00:16:16,173
GOMEZ: Good, good.
Or let our boa constrictor
give him a good squeeze.
275
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:18,359
A little dip in boiling oil?
276
00:16:18,428 --> 00:16:20,227
(LAUGHING)
277
00:16:20,296 --> 00:16:22,447
Miss Comstock,
you're my kind of people.
278
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:25,083
Tish, what about
Goomba in Nairobi?
279
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,585
He gets some
wonderful results
with just a drum.
280
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,386
And now that
we have Telstar...
281
00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:30,904
You're so practical.
282
00:16:41,117 --> 00:16:42,983
Four minutes after 3:00
and they're not here yet.
283
00:16:43,052 --> 00:16:44,718
Are they gonna
keep them there
for night school?
284
00:16:44,787 --> 00:16:48,105
Gomez, a watched cauldron
never bubbles.
285
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:54,412
They'd be here by now
if they let Pugsley drive.
286
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,780
(CAR TIRES SQUEALING)
287
00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,783
By Jove, I think they did.
288
00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:03,254
Wednesday.
289
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:04,655
(CRYING)
290
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:22,807
What is it, Wednesday?
291
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,509
What is it, darling?
That's it.
292
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,494
There, there, there.
293
00:17:26,562 --> 00:17:29,663
Father, it was terrible.
They killed him.
294
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:31,765
Mr. Hilliard?
The dragon.
295
00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:33,818
What dragon?
Who killed a dragon?
296
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,170
A knight in shining armor.
297
00:17:36,238 --> 00:17:39,040
He killed the dragon.
298
00:17:39,108 --> 00:17:41,008
I can't believe
anyone would kill a dragon.
299
00:17:41,077 --> 00:17:43,660
The poor, defenseless dragon.
300
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,579
That isn't all.
You ought to hear
301
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,448
some of the other
stories in her book.
302
00:17:47,517 --> 00:17:49,399
Let me see that, darling.
303
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:51,502
Grimm's Fairy Tales.
304
00:17:51,554 --> 00:17:54,321
What a lovely name, Grimm.
305
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:56,256
How could he write
such terrible stories?
306
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:57,842
Must be sick.
307
00:17:58,711 --> 00:17:59,944
Atavistic cruelty.
308
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,578
Perverse barbarism.
309
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,714
Such violence.
310
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,232
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
311
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,201
Gomez!
312
00:18:07,269 --> 00:18:09,286
That settles it.
No more school.
313
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:10,821
Good thinking, sir.
314
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,774
That's all right
for our children,
315
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,559
but what about
all the others?
316
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:18,245
I suppose you're right.
We should do something.
317
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,030
Just as ordinary citizens.
318
00:18:21,117 --> 00:18:23,450
I could call
that Miss Comstock.
319
00:18:24,653 --> 00:18:26,120
No.
320
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:30,191
I'll call that
nice Mr. Hilliard
and invite him over.
321
00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:32,459
And we'll discuss it with him.
322
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,612
You know, I really think
he liked us.
323
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:37,531
Oh, no, no. Never!
324
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,234
But, Mr. Hilliard,
they insist on seeing you.
325
00:18:40,302 --> 00:18:42,436
I'm sorry, I haven't
made out my will yet.
326
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:52,863
What if Mr. Hilliard
doesn't come?
327
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:56,567
Angel, your father sent
Lurch for Mr. Hilliard,
328
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,770
and it's very difficult
for people to refuse Lurch.
329
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,039
He has such
a nice way with them.
330
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:04,208
Now, let me see your hands.
331
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,110
Oh, excellent, Pugsley.
332
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:10,013
The nails are nice
and clean and sharp.
333
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:14,084
And you did very well, too,
Wednesday darling.
334
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,454
I think we took
a bath for nothing.
335
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,139
Mr. Hilliard.
336
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,998
Mr. Hilliard.
I'm so glad you could come.
337
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,600
MORTICIA: Put Mr. Hilliard
in the good chair.
338
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:31,903
(BRUNO GROWLING)
339
00:19:44,383 --> 00:19:46,383
That'll be all
for now, Lurch.
340
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,177
(BRUNO GROWLING)
341
00:20:01,918 --> 00:20:03,584
Children.
342
00:20:03,653 --> 00:20:06,120
You just never know
what they're thinking.
343
00:20:06,189 --> 00:20:08,339
I do.
344
00:20:08,407 --> 00:20:11,576
GOMEZ: We do have a bone to
pick with you, Mr. Hilliard.
345
00:20:14,163 --> 00:20:15,395
Haven't we?
346
00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:20,817
Oh, perhaps I have done
some little thing.
347
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:24,972
Ah, Mr. Hilliard,
murder is not a little thing.
348
00:20:25,041 --> 00:20:26,173
Murder?
349
00:20:26,242 --> 00:20:28,425
As if you didn't know.
350
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:30,778
But first, some refreshment.
351
00:20:31,547 --> 00:20:32,913
Mama?
352
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:34,348
Uncle Fester?
353
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:37,284
(GONG RESOUNDING)
354
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:43,240
Wait till you see
what they've got
cooked up for you.
355
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:44,625
The end.
356
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:46,777
It figures.
357
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,800
No! No, thank you.
358
00:20:52,868 --> 00:20:54,801
We made it
especially for you.
359
00:20:54,871 --> 00:20:55,952
I know, I know.
360
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:58,256
You must taste the cookies.
361
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:00,474
GRANDMAMA:
An old family recipe.
362
00:21:00,542 --> 00:21:02,025
The bats are my favorites,
363
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,744
although the lizards
are good, too.
364
00:21:03,813 --> 00:21:06,964
You can feel them wiggling
practically all the way down.
365
00:21:07,550 --> 00:21:08,815
Time to go.
366
00:21:16,458 --> 00:21:19,393
Mr. Hilliard,
you're a bundle of nerves.
367
00:21:19,461 --> 00:21:21,578
Isn't there something
we can do for him, Gomez?
368
00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:23,447
Of course.
369
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,933
The rack.
The rack?
370
00:21:26,002 --> 00:21:28,335
That stretching, so relaxing.
371
00:21:29,505 --> 00:21:30,587
Lurch.
372
00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:32,656
(GONG RESOUNDING)
373
00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:35,009
You rang?
374
00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:37,662
The rack for Mr. Hilliard.
375
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,229
No! Please!
376
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:42,132
I just had it overhauled.
377
00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:43,801
I got all the squeaks back in.
378
00:21:46,155 --> 00:21:47,521
If I've caused any trouble...
379
00:21:47,590 --> 00:21:50,190
Oh, we're not really
blaming you, Mr. Hilliard.
380
00:21:50,259 --> 00:21:52,526
But there are some things
we just can't tolerate.
381
00:21:52,595 --> 00:21:54,595
Like what?
Like violence.
382
00:21:54,664 --> 00:21:56,213
Well, what's wrong
with a little...
383
00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:57,497
Violence?
384
00:21:57,566 --> 00:22:00,117
The kind they're teaching
the children at school.
385
00:22:00,186 --> 00:22:03,270
You did say, "Teaching
the children in school"?
386
00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:05,072
Come now, Mr. Hilliard.
387
00:22:05,141 --> 00:22:06,607
Let's not pretend.
388
00:22:06,675 --> 00:22:08,759
Have you read your friend
Grimm lately?
389
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:11,311
(STAMMERING) Those harmless
little fairy tales?
390
00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:12,512
GOMEZ: Harmless?
391
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,998
Killing a poor
defenseless dragon?
392
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:18,035
But there are no real dragons.
393
00:22:18,103 --> 00:22:19,704
What gave you that impression?
394
00:22:21,691 --> 00:22:23,490
And what about that
Hansel and Gretel?
395
00:22:23,559 --> 00:22:25,108
Little Hansel and Gretel?
396
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:27,193
Little juvenile delinquents.
397
00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:29,747
Pushing sweet old
ladies into hot ovens.
398
00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:31,115
Sweet old...
399
00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:33,234
That's not what you want
to feed little children.
400
00:22:33,302 --> 00:22:34,802
Of course not.
401
00:22:34,870 --> 00:22:37,855
Then why don't you
just run right down
to the School Board,
402
00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:39,956
and tell them to do
something about it?
403
00:22:40,009 --> 00:22:41,458
Well, I...
404
00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:44,111
You know,
I'm beginning to think
you've got something.
405
00:22:44,179 --> 00:22:46,096
You are? Another drink
for Mr. Hilliard!
406
00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:47,331
No, please.
407
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,266
(GONG RESOUNDING)
408
00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:54,038
I'm beginning to
see your point.
409
00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:56,089
Something must be done.
410
00:22:56,158 --> 00:23:01,027
From dragons to
toy guns to real guns
to bombs to atom bombs!
411
00:23:01,096 --> 00:23:02,629
You know what?
412
00:23:02,698 --> 00:23:06,050
Thinking like yours
can save the world.
413
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:07,734
(WHIMPERING)
414
00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:15,142
I must confess I misjudged
you people completely.
415
00:23:17,547 --> 00:23:18,845
Thank you.
416
00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:33,026
Do you think he'll convince
the School Board?
417
00:23:34,430 --> 00:23:35,929
I don't know.
418
00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:37,964
He's such a weird little man.
419
00:23:45,208 --> 00:23:46,840
(HARPSICHORD PLAYING)
420
00:23:56,319 --> 00:23:58,752
Fester, you're not cheating.
421
00:24:00,155 --> 00:24:01,855
I'm sorry.
422
00:24:01,924 --> 00:24:03,424
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
423
00:24:08,598 --> 00:24:12,065
Pugsley.
He's building Wednesday
a little dollhouse.
424
00:24:12,835 --> 00:24:14,134
(RINGING)
425
00:24:16,706 --> 00:24:18,572
Why, thank you, Thing.
426
00:24:20,243 --> 00:24:23,544
Hello. Yes.
427
00:24:23,613 --> 00:24:27,180
Wonderful.
Yes, the children will be
in school tomorrow.
428
00:24:28,150 --> 00:24:29,783
Thank you.
429
00:24:29,852 --> 00:24:31,752
That was that nice
Mr. Hilliard.
430
00:24:31,820 --> 00:24:35,088
He said the School Board
accepted our ideas
enthusiastically.
431
00:24:35,157 --> 00:24:37,691
Really? Well, now,
Mr. Hilliard may be right.
432
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,693
We may have saved the world.
433
00:24:41,196 --> 00:24:43,264
Do you think we did
the right thing?
31338
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