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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,393 --> 00:00:31,917 Zack and Miri Make a Porno 2 00:00:47,420 --> 00:00:48,680 Get up Zack. 3 00:01:09,609 --> 00:01:11,379 Come on, I don't wanna be late from work. 4 00:01:19,549 --> 00:01:21,493 - Get out! - Jesus, why not close 5 00:01:21,817 --> 00:01:23,353 the fucking door if you're gonna take a shit? 6 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:25,795 - It was closed! - No, it was closed over, it was not closed. 7 00:01:26,489 --> 00:01:27,887 -Shut the fucking door! - Okay, okay. 8 00:01:47,365 --> 00:01:49,626 - What's that thing? - It's a hand warmer. 9 00:01:58,676 --> 00:02:00,213 We're going now. 10 00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:12,939 Do you smell that? Is that the car? 11 00:02:13,781 --> 00:02:15,056 - Oh, God. - What? 12 00:02:15,319 --> 00:02:16,218 -Oh, no. - What? 13 00:02:18,481 --> 00:02:20,105 -What? - It's stuck in my balls. 14 00:02:22,555 --> 00:02:23,502 What's happening? 15 00:02:24,049 --> 00:02:26,000 -Pull over, pull over. - Okay, alright! 16 00:02:45,131 --> 00:02:46,435 Oh fuck. 17 00:02:59,194 --> 00:03:01,094 I think I burned my ball hair off. 18 00:03:04,966 --> 00:03:06,415 It's not funny. 19 00:03:20,752 --> 00:03:22,491 Can you help me pick out an outfit for tonight? 20 00:03:23,234 --> 00:03:24,944 I'm working till six. 21 00:03:27,526 --> 00:03:30,251 Well, I can try stuff on at the store. 22 00:03:31,352 --> 00:03:34,322 The store? No, how about instead you get a friend? 23 00:03:35,105 --> 00:03:37,801 But you are my friend. - I meant a girl friend. 24 00:04:18,947 --> 00:04:23,471 -Can you work for me tomorrow? - Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. 25 00:04:23,569 --> 00:04:25,356 -Then you must come in the next day, I tell you. 26 00:04:26,862 --> 00:04:28,922 -It's Black Friday. - Black Friday? 27 00:04:29,415 --> 00:04:31,762 It's the biggest mall shopping day of the year. 28 00:04:32,603 --> 00:04:36,442 And since the mall is just up in the street, I would like you to come and work. 29 00:04:37,042 --> 00:04:39,302 -On Black Friday? - Oh yeah. 30 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:42,324 -And we work on Movie Monday too? - Sorry? 31 00:04:42,814 --> 00:04:44,235 How about "Nigger Tuesday"? 32 00:04:44,649 --> 00:04:46,620 Nigger Tuesday? Is this a new day holiday? 33 00:04:47,084 --> 00:04:49,112 You come to brother and tell him he gotta work on Black Friday 34 00:04:49,435 --> 00:04:51,259 You got any idea how racist that sounds? 35 00:04:51,810 --> 00:04:53,725 Telling me to come here and work, what do you think you own me? 36 00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:56,810 -I never said this, I tell you. - But you thought it, didn't you? 37 00:04:57,161 --> 00:05:00,379 You thought to yourself: Oh I'm gonna for this nigger, cause I put food on his table 38 00:05:00,786 --> 00:05:03,713 and clothes on his little nigger baby backs and he ain't gonna say shit. 39 00:05:04,382 --> 00:05:05,685 -To say I'm a star. - You shut up. 40 00:05:05,718 --> 00:05:09,245 You're God damn right to say I'm a star. 41 00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:12,869 Can't wait until the post office settle my disability suit, cause Deann I will be out this mother fucker. 42 00:05:13,971 --> 00:05:17,451 -You can kiss my ass. - You know what? Fuck you, fuck you and suck cock. 43 00:05:20,199 --> 00:05:21,533 The hell with you. - The hell with you. 44 00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:24,769 -Zack, my boy. - Yeah? 45 00:05:26,483 --> 00:05:32,427 A customer with a hair lip speak me say you've been watching baseball here the other night. 46 00:05:32,930 --> 00:05:36,235 Football. And no, that wasn't me. 47 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,279 Maybe the hair lip makes it sound like baseball. 48 00:05:39,627 --> 00:05:41,512 Yeah, maybe. Maybe you hear it with an accent. 49 00:05:41,889 --> 00:05:45,079 Fuck you, okay? One day I'm gonna put a camera there 50 00:05:45,793 --> 00:05:48,345 and I can tell, I know, everything you do when I'm gone. 51 00:05:48,752 --> 00:05:51,838 Everything. Scratch your balls, take a shit. Everything, I tell you. Okay? 52 00:05:53,927 --> 00:05:54,941 Fucker. 53 00:05:55,987 --> 00:05:58,478 I hear both of you mother fuckers, I tell you. 54 00:06:01,814 --> 00:06:03,322 -Why is he so fucking ice trunk? - Fuck off, I tell you. 55 00:06:05,178 --> 00:06:06,745 Very good, hmm? 56 00:06:07,788 --> 00:06:11,000 Ghandi mother fucker telling me I gotta work on Black Friday, and do some shit. 57 00:06:11,942 --> 00:06:14,375 Like I don't wanna do some shopping too. Biggest sales day of the year. 58 00:06:14,687 --> 00:06:16,687 I'm getting me a flat screen TV, you couldn't believe that. 59 00:06:16,774 --> 00:06:18,834 That is actually my fault, I should tell you. I asked for Friday morning off, so.. 60 00:06:19,418 --> 00:06:21,072 -Sorry about that. - For what? 61 00:06:21,564 --> 00:06:23,567 I actually just need a lot of recovery time. 62 00:06:24,324 --> 00:06:26,115 Tonight is me and Miri's ten-year-high school reunion 63 00:06:26,404 --> 00:06:28,673 I'm just gonna get fucking alcohol poisoning. 64 00:06:28,999 --> 00:06:29,985 -Reunion? - Yeah. 65 00:06:30,334 --> 00:06:32,161 -Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. - I know, isn't that fucked up when they do that? 66 00:06:32,538 --> 00:06:35,432 Like, they say it is the best chance to get everyone together. 67 00:06:35,553 --> 00:06:36,893 People come back to the town for holidays.. 68 00:06:37,125 --> 00:06:40,680 But you know what? They can have it in the middle of the summer at a fucking blow job contest 69 00:06:41,028 --> 00:06:43,348 that I was judging, and it would still be retarded. 70 00:06:43,841 --> 00:06:45,928 -So why are you going there? - Miri is making me go. 71 00:06:46,808 --> 00:06:50,519 Listen to him, why are you always bend over backwards for the girl, knowing she ain't getting annoyance. 72 00:06:51,127 --> 00:06:52,581 We got a good thing going, man. 73 00:06:52,959 --> 00:06:55,540 She pays out the rent, she does the dishes she wakes me up in the morning. 74 00:06:55,889 --> 00:06:57,396 Why complicate that with sex? 75 00:06:58,093 --> 00:07:00,129 Besides man, I've know her since the first grade. 76 00:07:00,505 --> 00:07:02,100 You don't fuck someone you've met in the first grade. 77 00:07:02,478 --> 00:07:04,391 Excuse me, I've met my wife in kinder garden 78 00:07:04,769 --> 00:07:07,204 We got married in Senior year and she has been the queen of my world ever since. 79 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:11,577 -But what if you could do it all over again? - I would jerk off and live by myself. 80 00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,841 - That woman is the ban of my existence. - See! 81 00:07:14,290 --> 00:07:16,408 Excuse me, can I get a cup of coffee? 82 00:07:16,928 --> 00:07:19,363 -Black. - Can't you see we're talking, White? 83 00:07:22,870 --> 00:07:26,843 If you're gonna continue to emasculate me with this barbie dress up shit 84 00:07:27,117 --> 00:07:30,278 -I'm using your laptop. - Don't forget to smack it when you turn it on 85 00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:31,559 otherwise the screen doesn't come on. 86 00:07:34,456 --> 00:07:37,154 -Why don't you spring get a new one of these? - Same reason I don't spring for clothes 87 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,127 for tonight: I'm broke. 88 00:07:39,338 --> 00:07:41,740 There's a chick who works at Teen Juice at the mall, you know 89 00:07:42,326 --> 00:07:45,284 And I gave her a good deal in Yearn's so she's letting me borrow this stuff for tonight. 90 00:07:48,031 --> 00:07:49,132 What? 91 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,487 A vibrator online. 92 00:07:52,153 --> 00:07:54,240 -What's wrong with the one you have? - It died last week. 93 00:07:55,052 --> 00:07:56,764 Look at the size of those fucking panties. 94 00:07:57,401 --> 00:07:58,822 Shoot that shit, shoot it. 95 00:07:59,692 --> 00:08:02,192 Who even knew Amazon sold shit like this. This is incredible! 96 00:08:02,798 --> 00:08:04,951 Those are fucking granny panties. 97 00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:08,581 Okay, A: I don't appreciate you violating the sanctity of my Amazon wish list page 98 00:08:09,365 --> 00:08:13,598 And B: I'm not buying that thing on Amazon, because turns out the over credit card they take 99 00:08:20,759 --> 00:08:22,071 Oh shit. 100 00:08:22,564 --> 00:08:24,158 I'm sorry guys, am I in the way? 101 00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,021 You're fucking fagot alright. Let's go to Starbucks. 102 00:08:33,719 --> 00:08:35,631 And he throws like a bitch. 103 00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:39,052 You know what else I throw: my nuts sacking your coffees, so how does that taste fucker? 104 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,067 We saw your girl friend in her under wear. 105 00:08:42,417 --> 00:08:44,969 Well, too bad she's not my girl friend you little fucker.. 106 00:08:45,885 --> 00:08:47,538 Are you still talking to me? 107 00:08:48,639 --> 00:08:51,488 Just said I'm gonna look up more fuck toys on Amazon. 108 00:08:53,631 --> 00:08:56,298 Holy shit, at least they have a flash light here too. 109 00:08:56,966 --> 00:08:59,633 -What's that? - It's a fucking pocket pussy 110 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,794 That is shaped like a flash light for discretionary jacking off. 111 00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:06,563 That when you get caught no-one thinks it's weird, you're just a guy who likes to fuck his flash light. 112 00:09:07,086 --> 00:09:09,956 -I'm totally buying this shit. - Wow, if you got money to burn.. 113 00:09:10,418 --> 00:09:12,101 How about paying the electric bill? 114 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:16,219 -It's due already? - Well, November's probably but I was talking about September's. 115 00:09:17,037 --> 00:09:19,038 Tell me, this doesn't rock. 116 00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:24,734 Kinda look like you're fucking Ronald McDonald. That makes me want some McNuggets. 117 00:09:25,144 --> 00:09:27,636 Why would you wanna buy a pocket pussy anyway? That is so sad. 118 00:09:28,595 --> 00:09:33,000 What? Excuse me, I forgot about the nobility that a company is coming with a fucking vibrator. 119 00:09:37,697 --> 00:09:40,480 Real, seal, action.. Oh my God, if you start fucking little machines 120 00:09:40,741 --> 00:09:41,874 I'm moving out. 121 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,834 What do you think a vibrator is? It's a little machine. 122 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000 How come you get to fuck something with a motor in it, and I can't? 123 00:09:46,332 --> 00:09:47,883 Cause I've never met a man who can make 124 00:09:47,884 --> 00:09:48,879 me come like a vibrator does. 125 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:53,557 That is fucking bullshit. 126 00:09:53,998 --> 00:09:56,551 ...ball of jerkings in the bathroom? 127 00:09:57,206 --> 00:10:01,427 Holy Jesus, you do not use my jerkings to jack in our bathroom. 128 00:10:01,903 --> 00:10:04,360 No you know what I do actually, is I light bunch of candles 129 00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:07,953 And I sprawl out on my sheets and I listen to Sting. 130 00:10:08,562 --> 00:10:12,245 Now I'm a guy.. Give me two popsicle sticks and a rubber band, I'll find a way to fuck it 131 00:10:12,652 --> 00:10:16,566 Like a filthy McGyver. - Oh my God, I'm so glad I'm not a guy. 132 00:10:18,043 --> 00:10:21,058 -How about this? - I don't get why you're putting so much effort in this thing anyway? 133 00:10:21,899 --> 00:10:25,639 I thought we were like, just gonna go sit around and make fun of everybody. 134 00:10:26,799 --> 00:10:30,265 Well, I can't wear anything that I've already on and expect to bring home Bobby Long. 135 00:10:30,991 --> 00:10:35,803 Bobby fucking Long? No way! Didn't that guy call you Stinky Linky? 136 00:10:36,355 --> 00:10:39,803 Yeah that was then, okay? Maybe now he can save me a fortune in Amazon bills. 137 00:10:40,558 --> 00:10:44,792 Maybe you can fuck our landlord, so we can at least keep roof over our heads. 138 00:10:46,385 --> 00:10:49,546 You don't have the rent? Zack, it's your month. 139 00:10:49,865 --> 00:10:53,836 Hey, I bought skates with last week's pay check and I need those, to skate with. 140 00:10:55,977 --> 00:10:58,528 And this week's I'll barely cover the past two water bills so.. 141 00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:00,534 Is this sexy? 142 00:11:01,115 --> 00:11:04,389 Yeah, in like to a catch a predator kind of way it is pretty fucking sexy. 143 00:11:05,638 --> 00:11:06,941 Then we're done. 144 00:11:09,609 --> 00:11:10,653 Zack. 145 00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,240 You want me to come in? - What happened to the water? 146 00:11:17,846 --> 00:11:19,471 They shut it off. - Oh shit, just.. 147 00:11:20,951 --> 00:11:23,844 Help me get this shit out off my hair. Just use the water out of the toilet. 148 00:11:27,613 --> 00:11:28,654 There's poo in there. 149 00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:31,125 Not that part! The back part of the toilet thing. 150 00:11:31,563 --> 00:11:36,158 Take that cup there and then put in, there you go. Here I'll just lean back if you could just 151 00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:38,897 You know, pour it down like that. 152 00:11:40,849 --> 00:11:43,044 Don't look, don't look. 153 00:11:57,044 --> 00:11:58,988 Alright, one hour tops and then we're gone. 154 00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:02,326 Or I had an idea, we could just not go at all, which would rock. 155 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:07,927 Look, even though we're broke and we've never gone to anything, we're still better than these people, right? 156 00:12:08,823 --> 00:12:14,475 No, not at all. We're probably not even as good as most of them, unless one of them is crackhead or something. 157 00:12:15,461 --> 00:12:17,870 Just tell me I'm prettier than when we graduated. 158 00:12:19,263 --> 00:12:22,423 You look about the same. Definitely not prettier. 159 00:12:23,149 --> 00:12:25,932 But around the same. I'm thinner though right, little? 160 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,426 Not really. 161 00:12:29,384 --> 00:12:31,181 Well, good pep talk. Fuck! 162 00:12:41,986 --> 00:12:43,261 -Tadaa! - Tadaa. 163 00:12:47,931 --> 00:12:50,659 -You don't recognize us, do you? - No, sorry. 164 00:12:51,096 --> 00:12:52,488 Zack Brown and Miri Linky. 165 00:12:53,044 --> 00:12:56,355 -Are you the one they called Stinky Linky? - Oh no, no-one ever called me that. 166 00:12:57,427 --> 00:12:59,107 Oh great, what does yours say? 167 00:13:00,065 --> 00:13:02,442 -What the fuck?! Come on, I'm sure I had a nickname. 168 00:13:02,873 --> 00:13:05,144 -Nothing? - Alright, well you guys have a great time. 169 00:13:05,522 --> 00:13:08,826 And before you go, don't forget your copy of the Roving Roe-Ver. 170 00:13:09,378 --> 00:13:11,841 -What the fuck is this shit? - That is not shit. 171 00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:14,015 That would be our bimonthly newsletter. 172 00:13:14,629 --> 00:13:17,006 You know, it updates you on what everyone's doing in their lives. 173 00:13:17,384 --> 00:13:19,587 -Finally! - I love your enthusiasm. 174 00:13:20,168 --> 00:13:22,674 Here you go, write your e-mail address down on that 175 00:13:23,139 --> 00:13:25,719 and I'll be sure to add you to our 800-hundred-member strong mailing list. 176 00:13:26,067 --> 00:13:27,836 We had 800 people in our graduating class? 177 00:13:28,278 --> 00:13:31,279 Yes, and only 250 RSVP. 178 00:13:31,657 --> 00:13:34,005 -Doesn't that suck, Mary? - Miri. 179 00:13:34,344 --> 00:13:36,952 -Are you married, Beths? - I am. Two kids. 180 00:13:37,504 --> 00:13:38,807 -Wow, that's beautiful. - Awesome. 181 00:13:39,158 --> 00:13:40,638 Wanna fuck me later? 182 00:13:40,985 --> 00:13:42,841 -Oh no, I'm married. - OK, cool. 183 00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:45,250 Well, if you change your mind I'll be there getting shit face. 184 00:13:45,770 --> 00:13:47,451 Just so you know, I eat the pussy. 185 00:13:47,864 --> 00:13:49,980 Tempting.. Again, no. 186 00:13:50,588 --> 00:13:51,602 -Show we? - Sir. 187 00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:52,966 Bye Beths. 188 00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:54,996 Think about it. 189 00:13:58,429 --> 00:13:59,674 I love your pussy. 190 00:14:43,037 --> 00:14:44,573 Can I get two beers, please? 191 00:14:45,414 --> 00:14:46,429 -You want a beer? - Yeah. 192 00:14:46,698 --> 00:14:47,888 Three beers. 193 00:14:48,642 --> 00:14:49,831 Thank you. 194 00:14:50,686 --> 00:14:52,455 Is that Zack? 195 00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:55,034 Or am I Zack? 196 00:14:58,369 --> 00:15:00,195 -Never gets old, huh? 197 00:15:00,515 --> 00:15:03,096 -The other Zack. - In my world nobody calls me the other Zack. 198 00:15:03,472 --> 00:15:06,581 Now that this guy is not around anymore, huh? 199 00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:11,822 -Get the fuck off of me. - There can be only one. 200 00:15:13,331 --> 00:15:16,403 -What? - Do not you remember? 201 00:15:17,158 --> 00:15:20,259 Remember? I yelled at you when we passed each other at the hall way. 202 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,780 Like it was yesterday, man. Awesome, awesome. 203 00:15:23,216 --> 00:15:25,826 -Awesome. God! You guys have so much to catch up on. 204 00:15:26,503 --> 00:15:28,647 -I'm gonna let you get to it. - Bitch. 205 00:15:34,552 --> 00:15:37,191 See that big blow up picture they have of me? 206 00:15:39,717 --> 00:15:42,269 My hair is terrible. I can't believe I wore my hair like that. 207 00:15:43,370 --> 00:15:45,778 It's before I knew about styling products. 208 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,277 Makes a big difference in life. 209 00:15:49,059 --> 00:15:53,379 You live and learn though, right? I mean, ten years ago. It's before we knew anything about fashion. 210 00:15:55,869 --> 00:15:57,868 Back in the day. Or hairstyle. 211 00:16:01,898 --> 00:16:03,493 Hey, stranger. 212 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,455 -Whoah, Stinky Linky? - Yeah. 213 00:16:07,017 --> 00:16:09,974 Although, it's just Miri now. - Give me a hug. 214 00:16:11,802 --> 00:16:14,091 -Hi. - Hi. 215 00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:16,208 Wow. 216 00:16:16,961 --> 00:16:18,614 -How have you been? - Great, great. 217 00:16:18,963 --> 00:16:20,152 -Yeah? - You look fantastic. 218 00:16:20,534 --> 00:16:23,638 Wow, that is not something that you would've said to me ten years ago. 219 00:16:24,363 --> 00:16:25,870 Well, I've grown up. 220 00:16:26,335 --> 00:16:30,306 Yes. Yes you have. You just look.. 221 00:16:34,278 --> 00:16:36,307 Listen to you.. Thank you. 222 00:16:36,799 --> 00:16:38,278 No don't thank me, just fuck me. 223 00:16:52,482 --> 00:16:53,903 Roxanne. 224 00:16:54,298 --> 00:16:55,806 Someone I like, what are the odds, huh? 225 00:16:59,514 --> 00:17:01,684 Zack Brown, we had four years Spanish together. 226 00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:03,890 Why does no-one recognize me? Am I thinner, is that it? 227 00:17:04,268 --> 00:17:05,545 Look at him. 228 00:17:06,704 --> 00:17:08,587 -Who? - My stupid husband. 229 00:17:09,313 --> 00:17:13,575 No fucking shit! John Butterfield, you actually married John Butterfield! 230 00:17:14,038 --> 00:17:16,762 -That's amazing! - Don't ever get married, it sucks. 231 00:17:17,343 --> 00:17:20,674 You stop appreciating each other and you runs us up to talk about it first year. 232 00:17:21,576 --> 00:17:25,025 But look at him now. Flirting up with that 233 00:17:25,432 --> 00:17:27,490 cheerleader named Monica Vahn. 234 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:31,837 You want me to maybe flirt with you so he can see? Even it up a bit? 235 00:17:32,163 --> 00:17:33,467 I don't wanna get even. 236 00:17:34,540 --> 00:17:37,006 If I was gonna do anything I wanna wine up the asshole. 237 00:17:39,468 --> 00:17:41,697 You can give me a hand job in the girls' locker room. 238 00:17:46,538 --> 00:17:48,655 -Fine, but make it fast. - Fuck yeah! 239 00:17:49,121 --> 00:17:50,976 Are you staying in town for a while? 240 00:17:51,325 --> 00:17:53,615 Just tonight. I fly back to L.A. tomorrow. 241 00:17:54,545 --> 00:17:57,623 Wow, Los Angeles! Gosh, Bobby Long. 242 00:17:58,492 --> 00:18:01,682 Coming up in the world. With Mrs. Long, I bet. 243 00:18:02,637 --> 00:18:04,988 No, No, no, No Mrs. Long for me. 244 00:18:06,203 --> 00:18:08,791 -Can I be honest with you? - Sure. 245 00:18:13,605 --> 00:18:15,442 I think I need a drink. Do you need a drink? 246 00:18:15,820 --> 00:18:17,125 Cause I need a drink to say this. 247 00:18:17,588 --> 00:18:19,588 -I've got a beer already so.. - Oh great, thank you. 248 00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,097 I think there's a cigarette butt in there. 249 00:18:23,318 --> 00:18:24,377 Yup. 250 00:18:28,117 --> 00:18:29,451 Sorry about the elbow. 251 00:18:33,372 --> 00:18:35,314 I can be only one. 252 00:18:38,531 --> 00:18:39,749 A beer, please. 253 00:18:42,183 --> 00:18:43,605 Thank you very much. 254 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:50,856 Oh Jesus Christ, my friend is making a total ass of herself ending her old high school crush. 255 00:18:51,291 --> 00:18:53,263 Oh God, that's so sad. 256 00:18:53,872 --> 00:18:55,728 It's so Miri, that's what it is. I'm Zack by the way. 257 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:57,875 Brandon. 258 00:18:59,576 --> 00:19:01,807 Oh don't worry we weren't at the same class or anything. 259 00:19:03,324 --> 00:19:05,007 Okay, lucky you. 260 00:19:06,263 --> 00:19:09,481 -Oh, you went Rover? - Well, I went here. Let's just leave it at that, I guess. 261 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:13,367 -Do you have one of the large flown pictures of yourself hanging around here ? - I do. 262 00:19:14,266 --> 00:19:15,948 Kind of, right there. 263 00:19:18,006 --> 00:19:20,211 -Gorgeous. - Good times. 264 00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:22,472 What do you do? What brings you here? 265 00:19:22,994 --> 00:19:25,430 Oh, I came with somebody who went school here. Bobby Long. 266 00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:28,734 No shit! That's who my friend is hitting on right now! See, right there. 267 00:19:29,496 --> 00:19:30,887 -Really? - There the one dressed up like Hannah Montana. 268 00:19:33,471 --> 00:19:35,181 In L.A. we call that look deglodion chŽek. 269 00:19:35,790 --> 00:19:37,797 -L.A.? Los Angeles? - California. 270 00:19:38,289 --> 00:19:39,971 That's awesome man. What do you do out there? 271 00:19:40,521 --> 00:19:41,769 I'm an actor. 272 00:19:42,218 --> 00:19:44,653 -Wow, that's really impressive. - Thank you, thank you. 273 00:19:45,438 --> 00:19:47,699 -And fucking movies? - Fucking movies, pretty much. 274 00:19:48,950 --> 00:19:51,298 Look at you. What, anything I've seen? 275 00:19:51,646 --> 00:19:54,140 -What movies? - Oh, all sorts of movies with all male cast. 276 00:19:54,691 --> 00:19:57,068 All male cast. Like Glenn Gary and Ross? 277 00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:03,414 Like "Glenn and Gary suck Ross' midi cock and drop their hairy nuts in his eager mouth". 278 00:20:06,779 --> 00:20:09,417 -Like a seakwell? - Sort off. 279 00:20:10,488 --> 00:20:12,980 It is a re-imagining. - Ah, like the whiz. 280 00:20:13,936 --> 00:20:16,953 More erotic and with less women. 281 00:20:18,199 --> 00:20:19,799 No women, to be exact. 282 00:20:22,117 --> 00:20:25,688 I apologize in advance if I'm out of line here, 283 00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:28,355 But are you in gay porn? 284 00:20:28,411 --> 00:20:30,788 -Guilty as charged. - Are you fucking with me? 285 00:20:31,193 --> 00:20:33,224 I thought you recognized me at first, that's why.. 286 00:20:33,949 --> 00:20:36,268 -Oh, okay I get it. - You're not my demographic so I'm not insulted. 287 00:20:36,848 --> 00:20:39,642 -Not really. Who is your demographic? - Do you love pussy? 288 00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:42,627 -I do. - Then not you. 289 00:20:43,382 --> 00:20:47,122 I came here tonight hoping to seduce you 290 00:20:47,585 --> 00:20:49,759 and bring back to my apartment and sleep with you 291 00:20:50,978 --> 00:20:54,765 to get back at you for calling me Stinky Linky all those years ago. 292 00:20:55,634 --> 00:20:59,084 Wow, that is a weird revenge flat. 293 00:20:59,612 --> 00:21:04,526 -You must be a terrible lay for that.. - What? No, I'm great. I mean I've had enough practice and everything.. 294 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,634 Wow, that sounded not good. 295 00:21:08,590 --> 00:21:12,208 I fuck a lot. That's what I meant to say. That doesn't sound good either. Wow. 296 00:21:14,614 --> 00:21:16,181 You're a lot funnier than I remembered. 297 00:21:16,702 --> 00:21:20,011 Thank you. Gosh, you turned out to be such a nice guy. 298 00:21:21,438 --> 00:21:26,626 Wow, it's just.. you know, it makes even easier to just say this.. 299 00:21:27,409 --> 00:21:31,845 Would you like to come back to my place and maybe open a bottle of wine and.. 300 00:21:32,481 --> 00:21:34,713 have ourselves a high school reunion? - I.. 301 00:21:36,105 --> 00:21:37,787 -Hello Miriam. - Beat it, we're talking. 302 00:21:38,106 --> 00:21:41,006 -I just wanted to introduce you to Brandon. - Salutations. 303 00:21:41,963 --> 00:21:43,094 -Bobby's boyfriend. 304 00:21:43,384 --> 00:21:44,864 -Bobby who? - Bobby me. 305 00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,691 Bobby Long. 306 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:52,343 Brandon is the star of such adult fair.. What was that one called again? 307 00:21:54,019 --> 00:21:55,990 "You'd better shut your mouth or I'm gonna fuck it" 308 00:21:56,628 --> 00:21:58,601 That's right. I'm surprised I forgot that. 309 00:21:59,614 --> 00:22:02,339 -Are you fucking with me? - No, they are fucking with each other. 310 00:22:03,789 --> 00:22:05,615 Oh my God. 311 00:22:06,515 --> 00:22:08,080 -No! - What? 312 00:22:09,558 --> 00:22:11,880 -Granny Panties? - Excuse me? 313 00:22:12,229 --> 00:22:14,200 -How can you tell? - This is so crazy. 314 00:22:14,576 --> 00:22:17,882 I was literally just watching you like right before we got here. This is so crazy. 315 00:22:19,192 --> 00:22:21,307 This is you, right? - My name's Granny Panties and 316 00:22:21,771 --> 00:22:23,510 nobody wants to fuck me. 317 00:22:24,353 --> 00:22:26,613 Nothing's whiter than my big gay ass. 318 00:22:27,077 --> 00:22:30,759 -Where did you get that? - Oh, I entered gay and ass, and it was the top hit. 319 00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,544 It's had 200 thousand views in three hours. 320 00:22:34,093 --> 00:22:36,932 Honey, you are like.. I'm actually jealous right now, cause you are like super famous. 321 00:22:37,891 --> 00:22:39,805 Baby, please take our picture. 322 00:22:40,586 --> 00:22:43,311 I need a picture with Granny Panties. This is awesome. 323 00:22:43,721 --> 00:22:45,197 Alright, smile. 324 00:22:45,548 --> 00:22:47,403 Did you get it? Oh thank you, baby. 325 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,101 -E-mail me that. - Yeah, cause he's the worst photographer. 326 00:22:50,478 --> 00:22:51,580 Okay, good. 327 00:22:51,901 --> 00:22:53,378 -You're gay? - Yeah. 328 00:22:54,307 --> 00:22:56,859 And I'm on the internet wearing.. a diaper? 329 00:22:57,410 --> 00:22:59,699 Who knew you'd come to Pittsburgh and meet a celebrity? 330 00:23:01,351 --> 00:23:03,440 -I'm gonna drink now till I pass out. - Okay. 331 00:23:04,279 --> 00:23:06,829 She'll be fine. So you guys suck each other's cocks? 332 00:23:07,412 --> 00:23:08,685 Oh, like crazy. 333 00:23:10,715 --> 00:23:13,145 -Okay, that's enough. - Oh, I'm embarrassing him. 334 00:23:13,579 --> 00:23:16,074 I love when he gets embarrassed. He's not living out loud you know, so he gets all like.. 335 00:23:16,451 --> 00:23:20,143 -You guys are totally in love, aren't you? - Zackhary, we are. 336 00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:24,694 Oh god, I just want.. I just wanna eat him up. 337 00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:27,028 I can't keep my hands off him. 338 00:23:27,752 --> 00:23:30,280 You know what, although he does most of the eating in the sack, if you know what I mean 339 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,933 -In the sack and off the sack. - Alright, that's enough. Look, you've drank too much. 340 00:23:34,457 --> 00:23:37,673 You do this every time. You can't contain yourself. 341 00:23:39,412 --> 00:23:43,592 Oh, I'm sorry. And by containing myself, you mean containing myself in the closet? 342 00:23:44,605 --> 00:23:47,013 In the closet of denial? Is that..? No, no, no. 343 00:23:47,449 --> 00:23:50,550 -Oh shit, this is real. - No, but this is exactly why you haven't 344 00:23:50,957 --> 00:23:53,363 met my mother. Because you don't know how to ease people into this situation. 345 00:23:53,914 --> 00:23:55,794 -Baby. - ..just force your way in, every time. 346 00:23:56,372 --> 00:24:00,343 Baby, I thought maybe for one second in this town I could be myself. 347 00:24:01,156 --> 00:24:04,692 I'm so sorry. No, you're right.. I should just butch up and pretend that I don't love it 348 00:24:05,184 --> 00:24:07,737 When you shove your dick in my mouth. 349 00:24:08,778 --> 00:24:11,192 This is the best night of my life. 350 00:24:11,541 --> 00:24:13,685 Am I making a spectacle, cause I could make a much bigger scene. - Really are 351 00:24:14,035 --> 00:24:17,114 I'm sorry. Pittsburgh, listen up Man-Rovers.. My name is 352 00:24:17,692 --> 00:24:22,130 -Brandon St.Randy and I love Bobby Long. - Fucking A! 353 00:24:22,709 --> 00:24:25,576 Is that enough for you? Is that enough for a scene? Cause I could start do a lot worst than that 354 00:24:26,099 --> 00:24:28,536 And the reason, the reason you haven't taken me to your mother's. 355 00:24:28,911 --> 00:24:31,173 Your mother with a make-up and all her drinking 356 00:24:31,550 --> 00:24:33,029 She's in the closet, too. 357 00:24:33,407 --> 00:24:36,211 -They fight just like real people. - I thought, I could be a conduit for you. 358 00:24:36,940 --> 00:24:38,448 -Thank you. - Are you being sarcastic? 359 00:24:38,739 --> 00:24:41,521 -No, I'm not. Thank you. - I love you. 360 00:24:44,198 --> 00:24:46,634 -I'll e-mail you, Brandon. - Zack, it was so nice to meet you. 361 00:24:47,154 --> 00:24:49,994 And I will be patient with you, I will be there on your journey. 362 00:24:50,374 --> 00:24:53,332 I will be your ship up the mountain of gayness. 363 00:25:19,769 --> 00:25:22,348 Well, about to see what Granny Panties is up to, huh? 364 00:25:28,145 --> 00:25:29,625 Do you hear that? 365 00:25:40,843 --> 00:25:43,949 What kind of evil fucks turn off your power the day.. 366 00:25:44,644 --> 00:25:46,962 No, the night before Thanksgiving. 367 00:25:47,544 --> 00:25:49,779 -Who does that? - Can you get advance on your credit card? 368 00:25:50,478 --> 00:25:54,842 Flash light. Back stab my 200-dollar women. Not a wise purchase, I'll give you that. 369 00:25:55,363 --> 00:25:58,872 This is bad. If we don't come up some rent we're gonna be locked out the apartment. 370 00:25:59,423 --> 00:26:01,567 So, who the fuck wants to live there? There's no water or power. 371 00:26:02,178 --> 00:26:04,526 Which means, by the time we get home, there's no heat either. 372 00:26:06,151 --> 00:26:08,729 Well, I think it's time we put what we always talked about into effect. 373 00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:12,382 You're gonna have to start hooking. 374 00:26:12,874 --> 00:26:15,194 You know, these are the exact circumstances people find themselves in 375 00:26:15,571 --> 00:26:18,295 right before they start having sex for money. 376 00:26:19,338 --> 00:26:20,876 Or making porn. 377 00:26:25,659 --> 00:26:27,776 Sexy. 378 00:26:34,904 --> 00:26:36,557 -Oh my God, yeah. - What? You got an idea? 379 00:26:37,513 --> 00:26:38,904 We could make a porno. 380 00:26:39,487 --> 00:26:42,789 Not the idea I was looking for. - What? No, yeah that is a fucking awesome idea. 381 00:26:43,342 --> 00:26:45,051 Are you shitting me? That's a great idea. 382 00:26:45,515 --> 00:26:47,980 That guy, Brandon St. Randy, who's Bobby Long's awesome nice boyfriend 383 00:26:48,328 --> 00:26:53,458 He said he makes a hundred grand a year, because he shoots and distributes his own porno films. 384 00:26:54,125 --> 00:26:56,501 If it's so easy, how come everybody doesn't do it? 385 00:26:56,910 --> 00:26:59,894 Because other people have options and dignity. Which we do not have. 386 00:27:00,185 --> 00:27:02,679 Which puts us in amazingly adventitious position. 387 00:27:03,230 --> 00:27:05,694 Fuck you, I have dignity. - Where? 388 00:27:05,900 --> 00:27:08,422 Is it hidden in your gigantic under pants that are blasted all over the internet? 389 00:27:09,174 --> 00:27:12,190 -Is that were you hide your dignity? - Every woman has a pair of those period panties. 390 00:27:12,624 --> 00:27:15,413 That's like a fact. - OK, families. 391 00:27:15,991 --> 00:27:18,165 I bet most people don't make porno, because they have families. 392 00:27:18,571 --> 00:27:21,096 But luckily, your parents are dead 393 00:27:21,385 --> 00:27:23,849 Sorry. My grandparents are dead. - Sorry. 394 00:27:24,402 --> 00:27:26,604 Thank you. So who we're gonna disappoint? 395 00:27:27,125 --> 00:27:31,328 Porn has gone main stream now, it's like Coca-Cola or Pepsi with dicks in it. 396 00:27:32,037 --> 00:27:35,197 Look at Paris Hilton. 397 00:27:35,230 --> 00:27:39,065 Now she's selling fragrances to Tween's. And I'm pretty sure she's legally retarded. 398 00:27:40,051 --> 00:27:42,545 -Tween's? - Have you seen that Jul Francis guy who made Girl Gone Wild? 399 00:27:43,942 --> 00:27:48,405 That guy is the biggest fucking idiot piece of shit in the world, and he has a jet and a fucking island. 400 00:27:49,045 --> 00:27:52,900 Look, there's gotta be a less extreme solution to our financial whoas here. 401 00:27:53,955 --> 00:27:56,478 -Give me a better option. - Get a paper out. 402 00:27:56,825 --> 00:27:58,427 -I don't have bike. - You could be a waiter. 403 00:27:58,833 --> 00:28:00,657 No-one wants me around their food. 404 00:28:00,979 --> 00:28:03,935 -Would you eat food that I gave you? - Not if you gave me it, that's true. 405 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:08,111 Nobody wants so see us fuck, Zack. - Everybody wants to see anybody fuck 406 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,501 I hate Rosie O'Donnell, but if someone said 407 00:28:11,795 --> 00:28:16,373 "I got a tape of Rosie O'Donnell getting fucked stupid", I would be like why the fuck aren't we watching that right now? 408 00:28:16,808 --> 00:28:19,910 -Cause she's famous, hello? - So are you, you're fucking granny panties. 409 00:28:20,636 --> 00:28:23,912 My underwear and your ass are famous, we're not. 410 00:28:24,433 --> 00:28:27,768 -So who the f would want to watch us fuck? - At least 800 people. 411 00:28:28,541 --> 00:28:30,396 You jerk went to school? Are you serious? 412 00:28:30,805 --> 00:28:33,063 Of course, I'm serious. If you heard this one we graduated with 413 00:28:33,384 --> 00:28:35,617 Was in a fucking porno movie, you watch it, right? 414 00:28:35,967 --> 00:28:37,849 I'd watch the Brandon guy suck a cock. I just met him. 415 00:28:38,522 --> 00:28:40,785 With this mailing list, we have almost a thousand people 416 00:28:41,076 --> 00:28:43,364 That would definitely buy a porno we arranged, just to be like "hey, I sit next to that guy in Civic's. Look at his fucking dick!" 417 00:28:47,134 --> 00:28:50,757 We sold a thousand copies at 25 bucks a pop. Bam! We have payed off our bills. 418 00:28:52,876 --> 00:28:55,809 -So, what do you think? - Nah, I don't think I wanna fuck a stranger. 419 00:28:56,795 --> 00:28:59,376 Oh, wow. Like you've never done that before. 420 00:28:59,724 --> 00:29:02,103 How many guys have you met in a bar, taken home.. Banged.. 421 00:29:02,912 --> 00:29:05,724 with your mouth and then never talked to again? 422 00:29:06,362 --> 00:29:11,137 -That's what we call a stranger. - Dude, I don't one night mouth fuck anybody that I pick up in bars. 423 00:29:11,221 --> 00:29:13,000 Okay, fine. You don't wanna fuck a stranger in porno movie 424 00:29:13,119 --> 00:29:15,694 For some weird reason.. 425 00:29:17,041 --> 00:29:19,218 I guess.. 426 00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:23,508 -We could fuck. - Yuck. 427 00:29:24,173 --> 00:29:28,000 -Fuck you. - I mean, you're nice enough looking guy and everything.. 428 00:29:28,578 --> 00:29:31,217 Holy fuck, thank you. You're old enough looking girl. How does that feel? 429 00:29:31,913 --> 00:29:35,739 Dude, I'm just saying it would be weird and wrong, you know, like fucking my brother. 430 00:29:36,261 --> 00:29:38,755 Ok, seriously. We're just talking about sex, okay? 431 00:29:39,131 --> 00:29:41,740 And it's for a purpose, if we're getting rich. 432 00:29:42,207 --> 00:29:44,580 Only my dick and your pussy would be doing something weird. 433 00:29:45,076 --> 00:29:47,047 Our bodies and brains would be acting. 434 00:29:47,835 --> 00:29:50,188 And you just explain to your private before hand. 435 00:29:50,594 --> 00:29:53,324 Look, this doesn't mean anything. We're just doing this for cash. 436 00:29:54,222 --> 00:29:55,730 -Oh my God. - What? 437 00:29:56,453 --> 00:29:59,875 You're just doing this, cause you've always wanted to fuck me, aren't you? 438 00:30:00,717 --> 00:30:05,469 Yes, I've gone my whole life pretending that I want nothing to do with you. 439 00:30:05,932 --> 00:30:08,715 Just hoping, one day we'd be in such dinar financial straight 440 00:30:09,065 --> 00:30:12,775 So I could use it to finally make my move on you. 441 00:30:16,458 --> 00:30:20,373 -You're just being sarcastic. - I am. See, I was pretending cry right there. 442 00:30:22,432 --> 00:30:24,808 I guess it's not gonna be like creepy. 443 00:30:26,025 --> 00:30:29,357 Like if we just got way too drunk one night and accidentally fucked. 444 00:30:29,766 --> 00:30:32,924 No. We would be going in with the understanding that it's.. 445 00:30:33,708 --> 00:30:35,184 -A business decision. -Strictly a business decision. 446 00:30:35,592 --> 00:30:37,180 It's a means to an end. 447 00:30:37,557 --> 00:30:38,340 Right. 448 00:30:38,834 --> 00:30:40,718 And by end, I mean I'll be waxing your ass. 449 00:30:41,644 --> 00:30:44,079 Oh fuck you! I'm not even letting you see my ass. 450 00:30:44,458 --> 00:30:47,472 I've seen your ass and the rest of you naked around a billion times already. 451 00:30:48,226 --> 00:30:49,907 Well, that goes both ways, buddy. 452 00:30:50,372 --> 00:30:52,575 You've never seen my dick. Have you seen my dick? You've never seen my dick. 453 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:57,436 Are you kidding! That part when we went to, where you got blasted 454 00:30:57,757 --> 00:31:01,468 And then we all watched you try for like an hour. 455 00:31:03,090 --> 00:31:05,323 Thanks by the way for fucking letting me do that, thank you. 456 00:31:06,278 --> 00:31:08,394 Oh God, we really do know too much about each other. 457 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,032 This would really just be one more thing. 458 00:31:12,106 --> 00:31:15,353 I mean, look at us, it's Thanksgiving we're hulling around flaming 459 00:31:15,759 --> 00:31:20,976 Fucking garbage can like a couple of steno bums. 460 00:31:21,383 --> 00:31:24,368 I mean, this could give us chance to pay off our debt, pay our bills, get a fucking nice apartment with a heat in it maybe. 461 00:31:28,998 --> 00:31:30,157 What is wrong? 462 00:31:32,301 --> 00:31:36,387 Miriam Linky, will you have sex with me on camera for money? 463 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:44,989 I will. 464 00:31:46,670 --> 00:31:47,576 Who's the producer? 465 00:31:48,184 --> 00:31:50,185 He's the guy who gets to finance the movie. 466 00:31:50,561 --> 00:31:51,895 Hell, what made you think I got that kind of money? 467 00:31:52,388 --> 00:31:54,177 We just need that. We just need what you're about to spend on the flat screen. 468 00:31:54,559 --> 00:31:56,560 And I can't get my flat screen! Fuck that. 469 00:31:57,731 --> 00:32:00,050 No, no, no, no. Dude, with your kind of profits, you can get two flat screens 470 00:32:00,571 --> 00:32:02,573 you have one in your living room, and one in your bath room. 471 00:32:02,971 --> 00:32:04,162 One in the bath room? 472 00:32:05,356 --> 00:32:08,054 That has always been my dream.. Watched it while I shit. 473 00:32:08,401 --> 00:32:10,663 Everyone with an ass loves to watch it while they shit. 474 00:32:11,068 --> 00:32:13,272 -I'm gonna make that happen for you, man. - I don't know, man. 475 00:32:14,085 --> 00:32:15,678 What else does the producer do? 476 00:32:16,897 --> 00:32:18,230 They help with the casting. 477 00:32:18,693 --> 00:32:20,838 -What's casting? - It's finding the people to be in the movie. 478 00:32:21,307 --> 00:32:22,780 -Oh, so I get to help pick the women? - Yeah. 479 00:32:23,243 --> 00:32:26,229 Like I can look at the titties and make sure there ain't no moles on them? 480 00:32:26,578 --> 00:32:29,019 -You can look both titties, man. - Oh man.. 481 00:32:29,742 --> 00:32:32,788 I'm looking at the same busted titties for the past almost 20 years. 482 00:32:33,426 --> 00:32:36,653 -I'm due for another new tittie. - Please, help us. 483 00:32:42,217 --> 00:32:44,362 Yes! Yes, I love you. 484 00:32:47,202 --> 00:32:48,885 Well, don't mind that smell. 485 00:32:49,296 --> 00:32:52,686 But we had some homeless people squatting in here. You know what, 486 00:32:53,238 --> 00:32:56,689 they would avoid their balls everywhere but the bathroom. 487 00:32:57,067 --> 00:32:59,036 Anyway, you pick up the poop and you got yourself a movie studio. 488 00:32:59,877 --> 00:33:01,704 Or we could just shoot this thing in your apartment? 489 00:33:02,082 --> 00:33:03,994 No power. You wanna pay the electric bill? 490 00:33:04,314 --> 00:33:06,087 -You mother fuckers. - We'll take it. 491 00:33:09,876 --> 00:33:11,153 Come on, come on, come on. 492 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:14,955 Oh Jesus. 493 00:33:16,346 --> 00:33:17,824 Come on. 494 00:33:19,768 --> 00:33:22,501 Why the fuck do I have to do everything? 495 00:33:29,231 --> 00:33:30,566 Fucking God.. 496 00:33:30,978 --> 00:33:32,659 They fucking suck. 497 00:33:34,688 --> 00:33:36,776 I'm gonna hate fuck the shit out of you Reff. 498 00:33:37,792 --> 00:33:40,780 -Dude. - It's cool. He's my cousin. 499 00:33:42,605 --> 00:33:45,619 Didn't you use to video tape the varsity basketball games in high school, or something? 500 00:33:46,721 --> 00:33:49,765 Just the away games. I did it, cause I was trying to fuck a cheerleader. 501 00:33:50,490 --> 00:33:53,736 -Which one? - Every one who wanted to fuck a guy who taped the varsity games. 502 00:33:56,523 --> 00:33:58,030 You still have your video camera? 503 00:33:58,442 --> 00:34:01,051 Who cares what the title is? 504 00:34:01,371 --> 00:34:04,096 The porn I liked, when I was a kid, it was always like a spoof of a popular movie. Like.. Edward Penis Hands. 505 00:34:05,661 --> 00:34:13,568 -Okay, so we need a mildly clever dirty title, that sounds like a real movie and will basically sum up what you're gonna say. 506 00:34:14,751 --> 00:34:18,288 -"An American Werewolf and Brenda" - "Fuck Back Mountain" 507 00:34:19,827 --> 00:34:21,103 Too soon? 508 00:34:21,481 --> 00:34:22,896 -Next. 509 00:34:23,474 --> 00:34:27,782 -Jerk my crayon and let me color your white. 510 00:34:28,304 --> 00:34:30,246 I need talking, I need it now. 511 00:34:30,710 --> 00:34:33,871 -I'm fucking you in the puss. - I'm fucking you in the puss.. 512 00:34:34,565 --> 00:34:38,219 -It's puss as in pussy. - Oh, because I was like.. 513 00:34:38,653 --> 00:34:40,672 Who would wanna fuck puss. 514 00:34:41,222 --> 00:34:45,121 I want to slam my ham in your canvaman. Scene. 515 00:34:45,856 --> 00:34:50,262 -This guy is amazing. - This guy is great looking too. 516 00:34:52,704 --> 00:34:56,561 Hi, My name is Delaney and I'm a producer, if you know what I mean. 517 00:34:57,139 --> 00:35:00,965 Let's be honest, my first time. You don't have to worry.. 518 00:35:02,298 --> 00:35:04,007 -I'm gonna touch you, nothing like that. - Alright. 519 00:35:04,733 --> 00:35:10,277 I have a wife, we're happy.. We're not happy but it's cool. 520 00:35:11,871 --> 00:35:16,362 Just so you know, there will be some fucking but uh.. We'll talk about that if you get the part. 521 00:35:18,364 --> 00:35:20,972 -Okay. - I mean, not we won't be fucking. 522 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:26,599 There will be fucking in the movie. Like I said I got a wife and she don't play that shit. She's crazy bitch. 523 00:35:27,206 --> 00:35:31,059 -Yup. - It's my job as the producer to see what you got. 524 00:35:32,684 --> 00:35:36,166 So.. To make sure you're comfortable in any way. 525 00:35:36,777 --> 00:35:40,371 You don't have to show me anything you don't wanna show me, cause.. 526 00:35:42,976 --> 00:35:44,425 I love the movies. 527 00:35:44,978 --> 00:35:47,005 -"Lawrence of a Labia" - No. 528 00:35:47,702 --> 00:35:50,369 -"Dawn of the Dick" - Yeah, but how are zombies 529 00:35:50,949 --> 00:35:54,108 doing it all sexy. - I want to eat your brain 530 00:35:54,659 --> 00:35:56,514 and your ass. 531 00:35:58,224 --> 00:36:00,052 -Dude.. -Scifi, yeah! 532 00:36:00,514 --> 00:36:03,588 Closing counters with a turk from behind. 533 00:36:04,110 --> 00:36:09,275 -I don't know what that means. - Just asses. Fucking keeping asses. 534 00:36:12,027 --> 00:36:14,086 -What? - We're making a porno 535 00:36:14,465 --> 00:36:18,490 And we just need to know what you would be or would not be interested in doing. 536 00:36:19,012 --> 00:36:21,597 -If anything.. - No anal. 537 00:36:22,119 --> 00:36:24,467 -Oh, definitely not anal. - Anal and hugging. 538 00:36:25,019 --> 00:36:26,960 -I don't do ass stuff. - Anal. 539 00:36:27,744 --> 00:36:28,903 Oh fuck. 540 00:36:29,224 --> 00:36:31,369 Oh wait oral, I like anal. 541 00:36:32,244 --> 00:36:35,027 Okay, so do you have any special skills? 542 00:36:35,579 --> 00:36:37,206 Special skills? 543 00:36:38,454 --> 00:36:40,773 I can get balling really quick, and it sticks straight up. 544 00:36:41,817 --> 00:36:43,932 -Is that really special skills? - I think it is. Can you show us what you mean? 545 00:36:44,570 --> 00:36:45,672 Sure. 546 00:36:53,786 --> 00:36:55,411 Oh, that is special. 547 00:36:56,396 --> 00:36:58,715 Yeah, you're hired. Mr.. Who are you again? 548 00:36:59,121 --> 00:37:00,978 Lester, Lester the Molester Cocking Stuff. 549 00:37:02,829 --> 00:37:05,581 Wow, that is the best porn name I've ever heard, man. 550 00:37:06,422 --> 00:37:08,277 I can have a porn name? 551 00:37:08,771 --> 00:37:11,418 Then I'll be Pete Jones. - Okay. 552 00:37:12,143 --> 00:37:14,056 Are you Granny Panties? 553 00:37:14,411 --> 00:37:15,947 -She is. - Get the fuck out of here. 554 00:37:16,498 --> 00:37:18,614 The Granny Panties are actually in the house, I'll get them. 555 00:37:19,288 --> 00:37:21,431 "Star Sex II" 556 00:37:21,809 --> 00:37:23,114 We never made our "Star Sex I". 557 00:37:23,114 --> 00:37:25,416 I guess we'll lose the "Star Sex III" "The Search For Cock" then. 558 00:37:26,170 --> 00:37:27,306 -Cock-ant - What's that? 559 00:37:27,684 --> 00:37:29,597 It's cuckoon with a cant. 560 00:37:30,873 --> 00:37:34,235 So, Delaney told us you have a special talent of some sort. 561 00:37:34,757 --> 00:37:38,251 I don't know if I call it a special talent, 562 00:37:38,626 --> 00:37:42,860 but it's a little something I picked up during bachelor parties. 563 00:37:44,193 --> 00:37:45,998 -It would probably be easier if I just showed you. - The floor is yours. 564 00:38:01,563 --> 00:38:03,563 So a movie, huh? That could be fun. 565 00:38:13,766 --> 00:38:14,983 Fuck. 566 00:38:20,143 --> 00:38:21,771 Her name Bubbles. 567 00:38:22,815 --> 00:38:26,644 -"Vas-ion of the party snatches" - It's like mad magazines. 568 00:38:27,023 --> 00:38:29,836 Oh fuck you, okay. You try to think of a good scifi porno title, it's hard. 569 00:38:30,215 --> 00:38:33,663 There's gotta be one we haven't thought of. That would say it all, not be ridiculously 570 00:38:34,358 --> 00:38:37,585 filthy and off putting. And still have in some recognition with our audience. 571 00:38:39,702 --> 00:38:41,242 I got it! 572 00:38:42,139 --> 00:38:44,802 -"Star Whores"? - Yeah, funny right? 573 00:38:45,121 --> 00:38:47,766 See, we figured this opens us up to even bigger sales market. 574 00:38:48,085 --> 00:38:49,969 Beyond the people we went school with, 575 00:38:50,347 --> 00:38:52,291 people who like comics and scifi. 576 00:38:52,554 --> 00:38:53,769 Comics? Like Ziggy? 577 00:38:54,117 --> 00:38:56,351 Ziggy? Is that even in fucking papers anymore? No, man. 578 00:38:56,759 --> 00:38:59,137 Fuck you. Ziggy is a comic. It's right next to Family Circus. 579 00:38:59,570 --> 00:39:02,125 No,like Spider Man and shit, you know. 580 00:39:02,764 --> 00:39:05,806 There's always a shit load of those Star Wars nerds at those car-pic shows. 581 00:39:06,416 --> 00:39:08,532 So we sell them a Princess Leia, that they can really fuck and jerk off, too. 582 00:39:08,882 --> 00:39:10,418 That would be me, Princess Lay Her. 583 00:39:12,684 --> 00:39:16,277 -Who am I planned? - You, my friend, are the lead role of Luke the Guy Baller. 584 00:39:16,858 --> 00:39:20,246 Oh man, he gonna be balling dudes? I thought you said it was just boys on girls. 585 00:39:20,655 --> 00:39:23,612 If I had to fuck a guy, okay, but I would rather fuck a girl. 586 00:39:24,018 --> 00:39:27,121 -What's wrong with you, boy? - We'll change the name to uh.. 587 00:39:27,353 --> 00:39:31,500 to Sky Baller. I will be Hung Solo. Delaney my friend, 588 00:39:32,079 --> 00:39:35,614 -You are On Your Knees Bend Over. - Man, I can't be in no porno movie 589 00:39:35,849 --> 00:39:39,652 -My wife will kill me. - Hump me, On Your Knees Bend Over, your my only hump. 590 00:39:40,001 --> 00:39:41,858 On the other hand, fuck my wife. 591 00:39:42,351 --> 00:39:44,726 Unfortunately, On Your Knees Bend Over is not having sex in the movie, 592 00:39:44,989 --> 00:39:49,250 but the drawings do. ICUP and R2T fag. 593 00:39:50,269 --> 00:39:54,733 -I robot. - And Stacey over here is gonna play 594 00:39:55,168 --> 00:39:58,659 Darth Vibrator. - I'm the bad guy? 595 00:39:58,978 --> 00:40:01,590 -It's not a guy, Zack. - I know that, cause I'm not a fucking idiot. 596 00:40:02,262 --> 00:40:05,918 In our movie, the Darth Vibrator is a bad girl who wants to fuck 597 00:40:06,210 --> 00:40:09,545 the galaxy, literally. And it's up to Luke and Hung to stop her. 598 00:40:10,731 --> 00:40:13,077 -With their cocks. - See, you and me get to have sex then. 599 00:40:13,893 --> 00:40:15,195 - Cool. - Yeah, I know. 600 00:40:16,722 --> 00:40:19,679 Hold up, so who are having sex with who, in this movie? 601 00:40:20,143 --> 00:40:22,288 I was about to say I was having sex with Zack. 602 00:40:22,809 --> 00:40:25,331 What? Hung Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia 603 00:40:25,739 --> 00:40:27,050 In the Star Wars. 604 00:40:27,543 --> 00:40:29,869 Oh, guys look, this isn't a literal adaptation here 605 00:40:30,507 --> 00:40:32,884 It's more of an erotic re-imagining. Kind of like the Whiz. 606 00:40:35,724 --> 00:40:37,378 With lots of anal. - Cool. 607 00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:43,371 I have a question. Do Princess Lay Her and Luke Sky Baller have sex? 608 00:40:45,110 --> 00:40:49,775 No. Because they're brother and sister. And according to Miri brother and sister can't fuck. 609 00:40:50,545 --> 00:40:54,144 But you actually said that this wasn't literal translation so 610 00:40:54,492 --> 00:40:56,726 that means, Lester's character could have sex with Miri's character. 611 00:40:58,331 --> 00:41:01,057 Cause I would love to fuck and eat her ass and fuck her silly in the movie. 612 00:41:01,664 --> 00:41:03,521 Well, dream on Pall, cause it's never gonna happen, okay? 613 00:41:03,847 --> 00:41:05,617 - No, I'm fine with it. - See, she's fine.. Wait, what? 614 00:41:06,224 --> 00:41:11,369 Yup. I mean, everyone else is having sex with more than one person in this movie all the sudden 615 00:41:11,978 --> 00:41:15,833 So, I think it's, you know, not fair if I'm only fucking you. 616 00:41:17,311 --> 00:41:19,690 Guys, read them up to yourselves. Can I talk to you for a sec? 617 00:41:20,646 --> 00:41:25,139 Look Mir, we got plenty of sex going on in this thing already. You don't have to do that. 618 00:41:25,835 --> 00:41:28,648 Zack, it's fine. I mean, I have slept with way worse looking guys than Lester. 619 00:41:29,373 --> 00:41:31,786 And I just want to do my part for the movie like everyone else. 620 00:41:32,277 --> 00:41:35,523 You're having sex in the movie already, so you don't need to fuck someone else, you're good. 621 00:41:36,163 --> 00:41:39,757 I'm only fucking you though so, don't we need to vary it up 622 00:41:40,195 --> 00:41:43,353 Keep it fair? - Fair for who? 623 00:41:43,875 --> 00:41:46,481 What are these blood diamonds we're talking about. I mean, come on! 624 00:41:46,802 --> 00:41:49,847 Fair for everyone else who is fucking more than one person.. 625 00:41:50,197 --> 00:41:51,710 A.k.a you, in the movie. 626 00:41:52,527 --> 00:41:54,295 I mean fine. - Alright then. 627 00:41:54,730 --> 00:41:57,309 -If you don't care. - I don't fucking care if you fuck him. 628 00:41:57,543 --> 00:42:00,559 I don't give a shit. Like you said fuck 629 00:42:01,371 --> 00:42:04,443 Holy shit. Are we really gonna shoot this in out of space? 630 00:42:05,807 --> 00:42:07,373 Maybe not bigger idiots. 631 00:42:12,621 --> 00:42:14,681 Star Whores 632 00:43:19,802 --> 00:43:22,324 Cut. Alright guys, that's it. 633 00:43:23,367 --> 00:43:25,512 So everyone just make sure you leave costumes, so we know 634 00:43:25,717 --> 00:43:26,644 they're here for tomorrow, okay? 635 00:43:27,079 --> 00:43:29,748 But mostly, everybody, thank you so much for helping us get ready. 636 00:43:30,153 --> 00:43:32,938 Cleaning this place out, building the sets and sowing the costumes. 637 00:43:34,356 --> 00:43:36,445 -It's really amazing, thank you. - Seriously, thanks. 638 00:43:36,793 --> 00:43:40,735 But this is just the beginning guys. If Star Whores works, 639 00:43:40,969 --> 00:43:43,521 And it will. We're set up for.. 640 00:43:44,041 --> 00:43:46,360 "The Empire Strikes Ass" - "The Return of the Brown Eye" 641 00:43:46,914 --> 00:43:49,376 -"The Phantom Man Ass" - And The Revenge of the Shit 642 00:43:49,900 --> 00:43:51,695 The all anal final chapter. 643 00:43:53,987 --> 00:43:56,161 -Okay. - The Revenge of the Shit, you got it? 644 00:43:57,552 --> 00:43:59,581 Yeah, no, we got it. 645 00:44:03,641 --> 00:44:05,699 We'll talk about that one. We're gonna have a lot of fun, but more importantly, 646 00:44:06,018 --> 00:44:07,757 We're gonna make a lot of fucking money, okay? 647 00:44:08,309 --> 00:44:10,947 So get ready for greatness people. Tomorrow we start 648 00:44:14,146 --> 00:44:16,056 Alright. Good night, you guys. 649 00:44:20,434 --> 00:44:22,931 -What? - Nothing. I just think someone should 650 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:26,615 Knowledge how completely insane and amazing this is. And it's all because of you. 651 00:44:27,282 --> 00:44:29,137 Ah, no. It's just a porno. 652 00:44:29,659 --> 00:44:32,210 You know what I mean. You're really coming to your own. 653 00:44:34,302 --> 00:44:35,840 Shut the fuck up. 654 00:44:36,768 --> 00:44:39,898 So, speaking off coming in things, ready for tomorrow? 655 00:44:40,393 --> 00:44:42,567 20 years finally getting to know what it's like to have sex with each other. 656 00:44:43,465 --> 00:44:46,248 Wow, you say that like you've been wondering what it'd be like sleep with me for a while now. 657 00:44:47,349 --> 00:44:50,016 Why the fuck do you think I started hanging out with you? 658 00:44:50,597 --> 00:44:52,771 I knew it. Here, help me. 659 00:44:57,318 --> 00:45:00,824 Let's just promise that, this is not gonna change anything between us, okay? 660 00:45:01,362 --> 00:45:05,016 -Like what? - I don't know. Some guys can't keep sex in prospective. 661 00:45:05,422 --> 00:45:08,552 If anyone is gonna keep this in prospective, it's you. 662 00:45:09,981 --> 00:45:13,003 I don't want you to get all mooshie and gooey on me after I give you the best orgasm you've ever had in your life. 663 00:45:13,342 --> 00:45:15,708 Oh right, like you know what you're doing down there at all. 664 00:45:16,041 --> 00:45:18,813 I actually don't. Where's the clitoris, is it in your ass? 665 00:45:19,083 --> 00:45:23,309 Just so you know, make sure you kind of whoop it up and act like I'm a stud, who knows what he's doing. 666 00:45:24,396 --> 00:45:25,746 Just be a pall. 667 00:45:26,054 --> 00:45:28,398 Oh, dude. I'm gonna marital street the fuck out of this, 668 00:45:28,516 --> 00:45:29,913 You watch. 669 00:45:31,367 --> 00:45:34,083 -Thanks. - You're welcome. 670 00:45:34,985 --> 00:45:37,309 No really.. Thank you. 671 00:45:38,815 --> 00:45:40,963 For everything. 672 00:45:42,768 --> 00:45:44,380 You're welcome. 673 00:45:50,559 --> 00:45:53,498 Less than 12 hours, we make Monroewill history. 674 00:45:53,755 --> 00:45:55,262 I hope nothing goes wrong. 675 00:45:55,541 --> 00:45:57,449 It's a movie, what could go wrong? 676 00:46:12,427 --> 00:46:14,697 What are you doing? What are you doing? 677 00:46:20,608 --> 00:46:22,202 What the fuck is going on? 678 00:46:25,126 --> 00:46:26,478 No, you gotta stop it now! We rented this place for a month 679 00:46:26,806 --> 00:46:29,012 From Mr. Jenkings. 680 00:46:29,260 --> 00:46:31,226 Nah, sounds like your Mr. Jenkings is full of shit. 681 00:46:34,288 --> 00:46:35,664 I'm gonna kill that lying old fuck! 682 00:46:35,972 --> 00:46:38,583 You're gonna have to go down to Florida to do so. That's where he moved. 683 00:46:38,820 --> 00:46:40,278 We got thousands of dollars of equipment there, man. 684 00:46:40,556 --> 00:46:41,545 Please. 685 00:46:41,842 --> 00:46:43,862 Hey, if you wanna shift trough this ravel, be my guest. 686 00:46:44,277 --> 00:46:46,576 Hey, get that fucking beam down! 687 00:47:03,416 --> 00:47:05,887 I know this is probably the last thing you wanna hear right now, but 688 00:47:06,146 --> 00:47:07,572 If you don't get an advance on your salary, 689 00:47:07,831 --> 00:47:09,786 I don't think we're gonna keep a roof over our heads. 690 00:47:10,041 --> 00:47:11,751 I got an advance already- 691 00:47:12,041 --> 00:47:14,806 Went it all on the costumes. - So all our money is gone? 692 00:47:15,152 --> 00:47:16,748 All your money? 693 00:47:17,072 --> 00:47:19,983 Never mind, what my wife is gonna do to me when there ain't no new snow tires 694 00:47:20,282 --> 00:47:22,981 But when she sees a charged video camera- 695 00:47:23,260 --> 00:47:24,773 Sorry I dragged you into this, man. 696 00:47:25,063 --> 00:47:26,806 I just wanted to see some free titties. 697 00:47:27,378 --> 00:47:30,548 That's all. But there's no such thing as free titties.. 698 00:47:31,619 --> 00:47:34,768 Is there, Zack? Is there? 699 00:47:35,155 --> 00:47:36,291 Fuck this noise. 700 00:47:36,599 --> 00:47:38,481 Why we don't just get another camera and shoot something else? 701 00:47:38,927 --> 00:47:41,295 Where we gonna do that? You got another sound stage? 702 00:47:41,561 --> 00:47:42,681 What sound stage? 703 00:47:42,947 --> 00:47:45,353 We had a shit covered garage we turned into a sound stage. 704 00:47:45,641 --> 00:47:47,690 We find some place new, and we do it again. 705 00:47:48,009 --> 00:47:49,126 How? 706 00:47:49,730 --> 00:47:50,958 I'm broke, man. 707 00:47:51,264 --> 00:47:54,751 No, make that I was broke.. Now I'm really tapped out. 708 00:47:55,327 --> 00:47:57,396 I'll have to get another job just to pay Delaney back, so please 709 00:47:58,086 --> 00:48:01,387 tell me, how can I afford to start over? 710 00:48:01,681 --> 00:48:04,264 -What can I get ya? - Yeah, can I get.. 711 00:48:04,510 --> 00:48:06,838 Too fucking late. Cappuccino, $ 3.50. 712 00:48:07,166 --> 00:48:09,255 Honestly, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. 713 00:48:09,621 --> 00:48:13,623 I'm a total loser in every single other aspect of my life. 714 00:48:14,119 --> 00:48:16,873 What made you think, I could do as simple as filming 715 00:48:17,159 --> 00:48:19,934 People fucking. We have no money left, no where to shoot, we have no sets 716 00:48:20,338 --> 00:48:22,360 We have no fucking cameras. Here! 717 00:48:24,755 --> 00:48:27,121 It's time I go back to my old regular life 718 00:48:27,409 --> 00:48:31,251 Where I'm a quiet fuck, who does not cost anybody any money 719 00:48:31,619 --> 00:48:34,490 And knows his God damn position behind this fucking counter 720 00:48:34,766 --> 00:48:36,893 Making cappuccinos for this fucking guy. 721 00:48:44,172 --> 00:48:45,583 Oh, yeah. 722 00:48:49,829 --> 00:48:51,523 What are you doing? 723 00:48:55,262 --> 00:48:56,666 Yeah. 724 00:49:02,617 --> 00:49:04,581 Fuck yes! 725 00:49:28,954 --> 00:49:33,617 You sneaky Indian mother fucker, I tell you. Yes! 726 00:49:34,914 --> 00:49:38,503 -Swallow My Cockacino! - What? 727 00:49:38,849 --> 00:49:40,663 That's it. That's the movie. 728 00:49:40,929 --> 00:49:43,021 Why didn't I think it before. We don't need sets 729 00:49:43,268 --> 00:49:45,755 Or a stage. Look at all this production value. 730 00:49:46,041 --> 00:49:47,625 Waiting to have balls on it! 731 00:49:47,914 --> 00:49:49,498 Hold up. You wanna shoot the movie here, 732 00:49:49,717 --> 00:49:51,320 -Where we work? - Yes! 733 00:49:51,637 --> 00:49:53,300 Fuck. Yes I do! 734 00:49:53,548 --> 00:49:55,125 Do you know how many stories I have from working here? 735 00:49:55,382 --> 00:49:58,637 How many times I've been laid right there after hours? 736 00:49:58,954 --> 00:50:00,668 You've never got laid here after hours. 737 00:50:00,923 --> 00:50:02,717 I know! Thank you for reminding me. 738 00:50:02,994 --> 00:50:04,510 But I always wish I had. 739 00:50:04,768 --> 00:50:06,829 And that's what porno is. A fantasy. 740 00:50:07,333 --> 00:50:11,614 If taking the normal, and making it abnormal 741 00:50:12,079 --> 00:50:13,949 By fucking it. - Don't do that. 742 00:50:14,416 --> 00:50:16,724 Little dog don't like that. - How the fuck did you get a camera? 743 00:50:17,099 --> 00:50:19,981 By being a terrible, untrustworthy employee. 744 00:50:20,260 --> 00:50:21,568 That's how! 745 00:50:22,704 --> 00:50:26,268 Give me a day, I'll bang out a script. Meet me here after closing. 746 00:50:26,507 --> 00:50:30,197 We're gonna load gism all over this mother fucker! Peace! 747 00:50:32,931 --> 00:50:34,208 I like that guy. 748 00:50:34,516 --> 00:50:38,574 But if he tries to fuck that little dog tonight for real, I'm calling Humane Society. 749 00:50:41,045 --> 00:50:43,664 Called Bean-n-Gone, so get the fuck out of here. 750 00:50:50,260 --> 00:50:52,583 Vamos, Stacey. Is already recording 751 00:50:58,010 --> 00:50:59,476 Swallow My Cockacino, 752 00:50:59,746 --> 00:51:01,045 Scene 12, take 1. 753 00:51:07,952 --> 00:51:09,755 And action. 754 00:51:18,041 --> 00:51:21,708 I'd like a double espresso, so I could stay up all night, 755 00:51:22,041 --> 00:51:23,945 Cause I'm in the mood to fuck. 756 00:51:24,567 --> 00:51:27,190 I'm Hornista, so I love to fuck. 757 00:51:27,458 --> 00:51:29,081 Would you like to fuck me? 758 00:51:29,389 --> 00:51:31,530 Holy fuck. You mean, after you're done with your shift? 759 00:51:32,804 --> 00:51:34,760 I mean during my shift. 760 00:51:37,342 --> 00:51:38,630 Keep going, keep going. 761 00:51:39,106 --> 00:51:41,076 With your shaft. 762 00:51:50,541 --> 00:51:53,474 Let us fuck! 763 00:51:58,686 --> 00:52:00,067 Music. 764 00:52:05,951 --> 00:52:08,007 Okay, open up the tamer guys. Let us see it. 765 00:52:10,978 --> 00:52:12,574 More tongue. 766 00:52:15,672 --> 00:52:17,407 Little less tongue. 767 00:52:51,936 --> 00:52:53,958 See, I told you it's work. Look, it's amazing. 768 00:52:54,255 --> 00:52:55,771 Incredible. 769 00:53:14,010 --> 00:53:18,722 Pull out of it actually. No, not you Lester. 770 00:53:23,119 --> 00:53:25,766 Can you slap ass and not be a pervert, dude. 771 00:53:27,608 --> 00:53:31,291 Yeah! Stir it. 772 00:53:44,034 --> 00:53:45,487 -Hey. 773 00:53:45,797 --> 00:53:47,867 You guys still open? 774 00:53:51,233 --> 00:53:52,822 No. We close at nine. 775 00:53:53,545 --> 00:53:55,876 I need coffee so I can drive home. 776 00:54:00,074 --> 00:54:02,067 That's a cute kitty. 777 00:54:13,585 --> 00:54:17,762 You guys see the game? I was at it. 778 00:54:20,036 --> 00:54:24,889 The quarter back was all fucking.. 779 00:54:26,364 --> 00:54:29,931 -All night! - Okay, pall. Here, on the house! 780 00:54:31,467 --> 00:54:33,402 -I love you, man - Love you too. Have a good one, okay? 781 00:54:33,672 --> 00:54:35,847 Yeah, I'll have a cold one. - I said have a good one. 782 00:54:39,304 --> 00:54:41,333 You and your little dog. 783 00:54:49,641 --> 00:54:54,500 -Action! - Oh, yes! 784 00:55:01,021 --> 00:55:02,617 Oh God, this is good. 785 00:55:04,846 --> 00:55:07,630 Take it! You take it! 786 00:55:08,135 --> 00:55:09,898 Take it Barry! 787 00:55:13,199 --> 00:55:17,409 -Take it. - I'm disturbed how turned on I am by this. 788 00:55:18,826 --> 00:55:20,744 Oh shit, there's someone. 789 00:55:20,990 --> 00:55:22,675 Okay, that's a wrap everybody. Yeah! 790 00:55:23,043 --> 00:55:28,094 Let's give a hand to hottest with the bodies form last night. Stacey, Lester, Bubbles, Barry. 791 00:55:29,146 --> 00:55:31,304 Okay. We come back tonight 792 00:55:31,621 --> 00:55:35,141 We finish up the scene and then we get to me and Miri stuff. 793 00:55:35,429 --> 00:55:38,369 Again.. Amazing first night everybody. Thank you so much. 794 00:55:41,983 --> 00:55:43,184 Let's us fuck. 795 00:55:47,025 --> 00:55:48,777 -Hey, how did it look? - How do you think it looked? 796 00:55:49,083 --> 00:55:50,956 Looked like shit going in other shit. 797 00:55:52,690 --> 00:55:56,639 What an artist. That was careless motto: shit going in other shit. 798 00:55:56,867 --> 00:55:58,280 Oh man, I can't believe you gotta work now. 799 00:55:58,557 --> 00:55:59,360 It's okay. You know what? 800 00:55:59,646 --> 00:56:01,233 Honestly, I don't think I could sleep. 801 00:56:01,498 --> 00:56:04,525 I pretty like pumped up right now. - Right? It was amazing. 802 00:56:04,793 --> 00:56:07,181 It was awesome. I think the cast and crew had a good time. 803 00:56:07,409 --> 00:56:09,518 - We we're getting great shit. - Yeah, it was so fun. 804 00:56:09,764 --> 00:56:11,969 I wanna keep shooting people boning all fucking day. 805 00:56:12,307 --> 00:56:14,306 I don't think I've ever met the ambitious Zack Brown before. 806 00:56:15,556 --> 00:56:17,735 Well, trying to pay the bill so.. 807 00:56:17,990 --> 00:56:19,480 It's not a bad thing. 808 00:56:20,023 --> 00:56:21,815 I think it looks good on you. 809 00:57:07,228 --> 00:57:08,878 Come on, hurry! 810 00:57:12,565 --> 00:57:14,755 Wait a minute, you guys never did it before? 811 00:57:15,201 --> 00:57:17,786 It's fine, you know.. We talked about it. 812 00:57:18,550 --> 00:57:20,856 And it's just for the movie. 813 00:57:21,509 --> 00:57:23,550 We're friends, you know. We're just friends. 814 00:57:23,829 --> 00:57:26,550 We will always just be just friends so.. 815 00:57:27,431 --> 00:57:29,969 Listen, I have some extra loop from last night.. 816 00:57:30,563 --> 00:57:33,634 I mean, I understand it's hard to get wet when everyone's watching. 817 00:57:34,188 --> 00:57:35,960 At least it was for Barry. 818 00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:38,898 I don't know if I'm gonna need it - Really? 819 00:57:39,217 --> 00:57:42,918 Yeah, I think I'm just.. Excited. 820 00:57:44,512 --> 00:57:47,505 Of the idea people watching, not because of Zack. 821 00:57:47,778 --> 00:57:50,679 Oh my God. Zack Brown could never had that effect on me in a million years. 822 00:57:50,918 --> 00:57:52,947 - Hello Miriam. - Oh, hi.. 823 00:57:53,722 --> 00:57:56,079 -Your Face. - Yeah. Weird, huh? 824 00:57:56,860 --> 00:57:58,563 I don't think I've seen your face since Senior year. 825 00:57:58,802 --> 00:58:01,731 I think, I made a mistake. I did it for you, you know, so you didn't get a road rash 826 00:58:02,724 --> 00:58:05,355 During our scene, but I should've asked first. I look like fucking baloogle whale. 827 00:58:06,168 --> 00:58:10,335 -I think I'll be going now. - Okay.. 828 00:58:17,487 --> 00:58:21,364 All I keep thinking, we should've done a trial run a home. 829 00:58:21,623 --> 00:58:23,603 -Oh my God, right? - Yeah, I know. 830 00:58:25,742 --> 00:58:29,355 -You're still cool to do it, right? - Yeah, totally. 831 00:58:29,900 --> 00:58:31,788 -Are you? - Yeah. 832 00:58:33,648 --> 00:58:35,146 Honestly, I'm a little nervous I guess. It's.. 833 00:58:35,751 --> 00:58:37,922 -It's kind of a big deal. - It is? 834 00:58:38,318 --> 00:58:41,606 Yeah, you know. It's.. Our first time together. 835 00:58:43,713 --> 00:58:48,512 Since our auspicious debut on viral video. 836 00:58:49,275 --> 00:58:51,918 -Yeah. - That's a fuck load of pressure for a director. 837 00:58:52,681 --> 00:58:53,811 As a director? Please. 838 00:58:54,048 --> 00:58:55,731 What about the anxiety I'm feeling as an actress? 839 00:58:56,105 --> 00:58:58,105 -Then I picked the right project. - Yeah, right. 840 00:58:58,342 --> 00:58:59,702 What about this follow-up here? I mean, Julia Roberts followed 841 00:58:59,989 --> 00:59:02,036 Pretty Woman with Sleeping With the Enemy, you know? 842 00:59:02,333 --> 00:59:05,420 I'm following Granny Panties with Swallow My Cockacino. 843 00:59:05,777 --> 00:59:07,786 True. The only difference is, this movie is about cock sucking 844 00:59:08,052 --> 00:59:10,885 -And her movie just sucked cock. Period. - Yeah, the only difference. 845 00:59:11,141 --> 00:59:12,621 The end was pretty rag. 846 00:59:13,592 --> 00:59:15,286 I like that. 847 00:59:17,313 --> 00:59:21,681 She kills them.. - With a gun. 848 00:59:22,490 --> 00:59:24,003 Yeah, it was so awesome. 849 00:59:27,179 --> 00:59:29,436 So I guess we should do this. 850 00:59:29,684 --> 00:59:31,159 I think we should probably wait 851 00:59:31,407 --> 00:59:33,436 Just until I lose another 20-30 pounds. 852 00:59:33,724 --> 00:59:37,050 -Stop it. You look good. - Thanks. 853 00:59:39,954 --> 00:59:42,449 So, what about me? How do I look? 854 00:59:44,608 --> 00:59:47,253 I mean, you look beautiful. You always look so beautiful so.. 855 00:59:48,579 --> 00:59:51,788 I guess it's not a big deal. But you look amazing. 856 01:00:01,056 --> 01:00:02,442 Okay. Let's go to make a pointer. 857 01:00:05,065 --> 01:00:07,871 Swallow My Cockacino. Scene 8, take 1. 858 01:00:11,603 --> 01:00:14,704 Alright, settle. Action. 859 01:00:17,387 --> 01:00:19,221 Who could it be? 860 01:00:26,588 --> 01:00:27,998 -Hi. - Hi. 861 01:00:28,273 --> 01:00:31,204 I'm the delivery man, and I have some cream for you. 862 01:00:31,501 --> 01:00:34,472 Wow, that cream looks heavy. You must be strong. 863 01:00:34,916 --> 01:00:37,028 I work out. So.. 864 01:00:37,809 --> 01:00:40,476 Do you want me to give you your cream now? 865 01:00:40,822 --> 01:00:43,097 I've been waiting for it all day. 866 01:00:44,989 --> 01:00:49,137 -Oops. - I spilled my cream. 867 01:00:50,307 --> 01:00:53,576 -Do you mind? - I don't mind. 868 01:00:53,911 --> 01:00:56,963 Especially if you spill it on my face. 869 01:00:58,239 --> 01:01:00,300 Let us fuck! 870 01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:10,211 Let me see them, titties. 871 01:01:11,856 --> 01:01:14,601 Actually, you know what, sorry I don't think we should show 'em. 872 01:01:14,865 --> 01:01:16,965 -What? - We shouldn't show your breasts. 873 01:01:17,264 --> 01:01:19,878 -Are you gonna take your shirt off? - I ain't take my shirt off. I'm just gonna open it actually. 874 01:01:20,293 --> 01:01:21,652 You're not gonna take it off? Why not? 875 01:01:21,947 --> 01:01:24,768 My tits are bigger than yours for fuck sake. It'd look weird. I don't wanna show that. 876 01:01:25,014 --> 01:01:25,965 She's not gonna show her tits? 877 01:01:26,422 --> 01:01:27,896 I shoved my cock in my asshole. 878 01:01:31,108 --> 01:01:34,065 -Where's that delivery? - I can't believe this. 879 01:01:34,659 --> 01:01:37,056 I was delivering cream and look what's happening. 880 01:01:37,987 --> 01:01:39,393 Jesus, what is that? A rumba? 881 01:01:40,721 --> 01:01:43,474 -What's a rumba? - That akword movement. 882 01:01:45,590 --> 01:01:48,717 Should we take your pants off? - Yeah. 883 01:01:51,954 --> 01:01:52,880 Oh, fuck. How does this work? 884 01:01:53,802 --> 01:01:55,545 You know what, I'll do it. I'll do mine. 885 01:02:13,221 --> 01:02:15,179 I'm gonna fuck you with my pecker. 886 01:02:15,557 --> 01:02:18,951 Dude, that's really dirty. 887 01:02:19,217 --> 01:02:20,722 -That's too dirty? - Yeah, it offends me. 888 01:02:21,097 --> 01:02:24,179 -I'm gonna fuck you with my penis. - I can't wait. 889 01:02:24,445 --> 01:02:26,059 For my penis. 890 01:02:26,346 --> 01:02:28,059 Be careful, Miri. Okay. 891 01:02:28,378 --> 01:02:29,753 Just keep rolling. 892 01:02:30,072 --> 01:02:32,846 Fucking cream is coming. 893 01:02:36,527 --> 01:02:39,132 This is the worst porno I've ever seen. 894 01:02:39,856 --> 01:02:43,806 -Get over here, delivery man. - Let's fuck on these beans. 895 01:02:50,916 --> 01:02:53,789 Just leave 'em. - It's really distracting. 896 01:02:58,202 --> 01:02:59,632 It's all good? 897 01:03:06,539 --> 01:03:08,277 We'll start kissing on three, okay? 898 01:03:08,869 --> 01:03:11,356 -1, 2, 3. Go. 899 01:03:52,692 --> 01:03:53,751 -Deacon - What? 900 01:03:54,025 --> 01:03:56,806 Did you see Lost this week? I missed it. What happened? 901 01:03:57,125 --> 01:04:00,036 Oh dude. They're on the island, they off the island. Who can follow that shit. 902 01:04:00,304 --> 01:04:02,458 I think they're in hell. - Would you shut the fuck up. 903 01:04:57,929 --> 01:04:59,811 -Cut. - That's it? 904 01:05:00,215 --> 01:05:01,574 It's over? 905 01:05:01,869 --> 01:05:03,628 Ain't it supposed to come with titties? 906 01:05:08,621 --> 01:05:11,251 Well, it wasn't what we adjusted but that was nice. 907 01:05:11,813 --> 01:05:13,983 -You were so romantic. - Way to fuck, Zack! 908 01:05:14,360 --> 01:05:17,219 Thanks, Lester. Wasn't just me though guys. Give it up 909 01:05:17,485 --> 01:05:19,407 For my radiant co-star here, Miri. 910 01:05:22,467 --> 01:05:25,309 Show's over in here. Let's move it on to a fourth lying scene. 911 01:05:25,563 --> 01:05:27,288 Alright. Let's do it. 912 01:05:28,168 --> 01:05:29,427 -You look beautiful. - I thought they would be 913 01:05:30,197 --> 01:05:32,403 -Fucking hard. - But it was pretty. 914 01:05:32,663 --> 01:05:34,465 -Good job. - Thanks. 915 01:05:36,070 --> 01:05:39,672 -You're good Mir? You need anything? - I'm just gonna take a minute, okay? 916 01:05:42,630 --> 01:05:45,411 -Okay. I'll just be up there. - Yeah. 917 01:05:47,768 --> 01:05:51,005 -That was fun. - Yeah. Fun.. 918 01:06:37,235 --> 01:06:39,266 - Hey, are you alright? - Yeah. 919 01:06:39,692 --> 01:06:42,813 Just for tonight scene, I'm ready to go when you are though. 920 01:06:44,583 --> 01:06:46,563 You know, before we go.. I'm thinking 921 01:06:47,376 --> 01:06:50,862 It's a good idea if we 922 01:06:52,061 --> 01:06:53,760 Talk about what happened last night. 923 01:06:56,253 --> 01:06:57,650 I mean, we don't have to but.. 924 01:06:58,094 --> 01:07:00,692 Okay, yeah. I kind of dropped the ball in that I guess, huh? 925 01:07:01,246 --> 01:07:03,554 -No, no. It's.. - To be honest.. 926 01:07:05,554 --> 01:07:08,059 It was.. I didn't know how weird it would be for me. 927 01:07:08,344 --> 01:07:10,545 Weird? Weird like how? 928 01:07:11,483 --> 01:07:15,094 Acting and directing at the same time. It's a lot to process.. 929 01:07:15,362 --> 01:07:17,750 First time I thought my balls didn't have enough hair on them. 930 01:07:18,737 --> 01:07:22,512 -That's not what I meant. - I know what you meant. 931 01:07:23,905 --> 01:07:25,817 How are you feeling about it? 932 01:07:26,371 --> 01:07:27,996 I guess.. 933 01:07:29,568 --> 01:07:32,688 I feel like.. Like we.. 934 01:07:35,190 --> 01:07:37,648 -Holy fuck! - The light is on! 935 01:07:37,905 --> 01:07:39,076 -Did you do this? 936 01:07:39,309 --> 01:07:42,105 - No, I burned the bills how come.. - The water. 937 01:07:44,331 --> 01:07:45,717 Come on, come on. 938 01:07:46,311 --> 01:07:47,757 Yeah! 939 01:07:48,362 --> 01:07:50,936 -We can shower in our home again! - We got liquid. 940 01:07:56,309 --> 01:07:58,735 Greetings! Have you heard the good news about 941 01:07:58,983 --> 01:08:00,737 Our Lord of savior Jesus Christ? 942 01:08:01,003 --> 01:08:02,519 Oh my God, did you guys do this? 943 01:08:02,996 --> 01:08:05,360 We got tired of you guys taking showers at our places all the time. 944 01:08:05,610 --> 01:08:07,161 So we took up a collection amongs ourselves. 945 01:08:07,577 --> 01:08:09,353 And shipped away your a mountain of debt. 946 01:08:09,608 --> 01:08:11,954 You guys paid off our massive utilities bills? 947 01:08:12,202 --> 01:08:13,530 How did you afford that? 948 01:08:13,778 --> 01:08:15,076 I stole my old lady's bingo winnings. 949 01:08:15,333 --> 01:08:17,074 And mistress Bubbles did a bachelor party tonight which yours truly 950 01:08:17,323 --> 01:08:21,056 Was a guest star. Thank you very much. 951 01:08:21,908 --> 01:08:24,216 But don't get too excited, cause we didn't pay off your whole bill 952 01:08:24,484 --> 01:08:25,555 Just a month of each. 953 01:08:25,792 --> 01:08:27,220 And they agreed to turn everything back on? 954 01:08:27,364 --> 01:08:29,246 Yeah nine at night? How does that work? 955 01:08:29,582 --> 01:08:31,396 Stacey knows somebody that works at power and light. 956 01:08:32,140 --> 01:08:34,238 -You guys.. - This is amazing.. 957 01:08:34,516 --> 01:08:35,752 You didn't have to do this. 958 01:08:36,020 --> 01:08:37,666 And you guys didn't have to put us in your movie either. 959 01:08:37,921 --> 01:08:39,576 -Or let us shoot it. - Or produce it. 960 01:08:39,875 --> 01:08:42,507 -Or put us in your movie either. - We said that already. 961 01:08:42,774 --> 01:08:44,529 Guys, honestly.. I don't know what to say. 962 01:08:44,786 --> 01:08:46,613 Well, you could start off by saying we could take tonight off so we could 963 01:08:46,882 --> 01:08:48,768 Have our rap party right now. 964 01:08:49,073 --> 01:08:51,619 Guys, we're not wrapped though. We still have four days of shootings left. 965 01:08:51,899 --> 01:08:53,868 Um, excuse me. In my producorial capacity, 966 01:08:54,126 --> 01:08:56,966 I'm shutting the movie down for tonight 967 01:08:57,380 --> 01:08:59,694 So we can get lost silly. 968 01:09:39,807 --> 01:09:41,315 Go, go, go, go! 969 01:09:41,832 --> 01:09:43,613 -Yeah! - Yes! 970 01:09:47,203 --> 01:09:50,650 Is it just amazing after all those years not knowing? 971 01:09:50,908 --> 01:09:54,542 It was.. weird. But good. 972 01:09:55,314 --> 01:09:57,653 I have my next scene with Zack tomorrow. - You don't say? 973 01:09:58,000 --> 01:09:59,832 But I'm little nervous. 974 01:10:00,654 --> 01:10:03,680 -I was thinking about trying to get with him tonight. - Really? 975 01:10:04,445 --> 01:10:05,771 I mean if you don't mind. 976 01:10:05,997 --> 01:10:08,503 You guys are just friends and all. So I didn't think it would be a biggie.. 977 01:10:08,801 --> 01:10:10,088 It wouldn't be a biggie, would it? 978 01:10:12,407 --> 01:10:14,605 No, no. It's not a biggie. Why? No. 979 01:10:15,793 --> 01:10:18,301 -Are you sure? - Yes, Stacey. 980 01:10:18,606 --> 01:10:20,381 I'm not married to the guy so.. 981 01:10:20,413 --> 01:10:24,239 I don't know. You guys just looked kind of intimate last night. 982 01:10:24,953 --> 01:10:27,014 -We did? - Yeah. 983 01:10:32,516 --> 01:10:35,595 Well, we're just better actors than I thought, I think. 984 01:10:37,319 --> 01:10:40,380 You know what? If you want to get with him, you should just go and ask him. 985 01:10:40,686 --> 01:10:43,012 - He'd be really excited to hear that. - Yeah? 986 01:10:43,262 --> 01:10:44,398 -Yeah. - For real? You don't mind? 987 01:10:45,985 --> 01:10:47,199 Cool. 988 01:10:51,756 --> 01:10:53,970 All the quarters are on the ground. 989 01:11:02,926 --> 01:11:05,323 Come on, you guys playing or what? 990 01:12:42,724 --> 01:12:46,840 Well, I'm bummed. But I totally get it and it's no problem to work with Lester again. 991 01:12:47,078 --> 01:12:49,750 -He has a nice cock. - Oh. Well, you're a trooper Stass. 992 01:12:50,065 --> 01:12:54,886 Oh, but if I start making weird faces during the scene, it's just cause I've been constipated all day. 993 01:12:55,707 --> 01:12:58,788 Oh shit. We don't have to shoot this scene tonight. 994 01:12:59,024 --> 01:12:59,934 No I want to. 995 01:13:00,194 --> 01:13:01,579 It feels great when you're constipated. 996 01:13:01,818 --> 01:13:03,510 It totally loosens yo up. 997 01:13:04,301 --> 01:13:06,786 I use exlax, but good to know. 998 01:13:08,283 --> 01:13:10,122 Okay. Never thought I'd have that conversation. 999 01:13:10,849 --> 01:13:12,770 So are we starting with Lester and Stacey tonight, 1000 01:13:13,006 --> 01:13:14,770 Cause we were supposed to start with Lester and Miri. 1001 01:13:15,117 --> 01:13:17,215 Oh, yeah. We're not gonna do that anymore. 1002 01:13:17,475 --> 01:13:19,243 I don't think Miri's gonna.. wanna.. 1003 01:13:24,787 --> 01:13:26,292 Do that. 1004 01:13:31,082 --> 01:13:33,311 So where are we shooting this? Over here? 1005 01:13:33,865 --> 01:13:36,164 -What are you doing here? - Me and Lester. 1006 01:13:37,865 --> 01:13:39,621 Our scene is tonight, right? 1007 01:13:41,677 --> 01:13:43,292 Can I talk you for a minute in the back? 1008 01:13:44,769 --> 01:13:46,474 Sure. 1009 01:13:49,748 --> 01:13:51,033 What do you want me to shoot here, Zack? 1010 01:13:51,332 --> 01:13:54,015 Just start with the close-ups of Lester and Stacey. Give me a second! 1011 01:13:55,243 --> 01:13:57,045 What an artist. 1012 01:13:58,340 --> 01:14:00,104 Did I do something wrong to you? 1013 01:14:02,448 --> 01:14:04,805 -Then why are you here? - I'm here for the same reason you're here. 1014 01:14:05,331 --> 01:14:06,847 To make the movie. 1015 01:14:07,430 --> 01:14:10,095 Okay, just like for your own personal information.. 1016 01:14:11,106 --> 01:14:13,275 You're acting really fucking weird right now. 1017 01:14:13,542 --> 01:14:15,715 I'm acting weird? Cause I think you're acting fucking weird right now. 1018 01:14:16,038 --> 01:14:18,155 How exactly am I acting weird? 1019 01:14:18,532 --> 01:14:20,572 Well, for one thing, you've been trying to keep me from fucking 1020 01:14:20,788 --> 01:14:22,720 Anybody but you since we started this thing. 1021 01:14:23,671 --> 01:14:25,939 Maybe, I was thinking about your feelings. 1022 01:14:26,695 --> 01:14:28,019 Were you thinking about my feelings last night 1023 01:14:28,247 --> 01:14:29,319 When you were banging Stacey, cause 1024 01:14:29,594 --> 01:14:31,467 that would be really sad for Stacey? 1025 01:14:32,060 --> 01:14:34,320 She told me, that you told her that it was okay. 1026 01:14:34,943 --> 01:14:38,557 I told it was okay, to ask you. 1027 01:14:42,054 --> 01:14:45,413 Holy shit. I get it! I fucking get it. 1028 01:14:45,886 --> 01:14:48,364 It was a test. That whole fucking thing was a test. Is that it? 1029 01:14:49,729 --> 01:14:51,719 If it was, how do you think you did? 1030 01:14:52,514 --> 01:14:56,405 We had a discussion. We actually had many discussions.. 1031 01:14:56,783 --> 01:15:01,476 About how, it was just sex and how we wouldn't let it get weird. 1032 01:15:01,894 --> 01:15:04,912 -Then I'm not acting weird. - No, you're acting like a jealous 1033 01:15:05,189 --> 01:15:07,556 -Fucking girl friend is what he fuck you're acting like. - I'm not your girlfriend. 1034 01:15:07,813 --> 01:15:09,537 -Oh, I know that. - And you're not my boyfriend 1035 01:15:09,972 --> 01:15:11,914 So why the fuck are we having this conversation right now? 1036 01:15:12,270 --> 01:15:15,519 Because you're about to fuck Lester to spite me! 1037 01:15:15,805 --> 01:15:18,153 -It seems like. - Did you fuck Stacey to spite me? 1038 01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:21,171 No, you fucked her just like you fucked every other stupid bitch 1039 01:15:21,380 --> 01:15:23,501 And never gave a shit how I felt about it. 1040 01:15:23,985 --> 01:15:25,541 -That was before - Before what? 1041 01:15:25,838 --> 01:15:29,274 Don't fucking pretend, that the other night you and me there.. 1042 01:15:30,563 --> 01:15:33,104 That that didn't mean anything to you. That you didn't feel it too. 1043 01:15:34,434 --> 01:15:38,114 Oh, you're not getting all gooey on me here, are you Zack? 1044 01:15:38,402 --> 01:15:40,890 You know what? If you were any other bitch, 1045 01:15:41,244 --> 01:15:43,909 I wouldn't give a rat's ass about, I would tell you to go fuck yourself right now, 1046 01:15:44,238 --> 01:15:47,614 Because, I fucking hate this game playing shit. 1047 01:15:48,186 --> 01:15:50,287 But you, you mean more to me than that. 1048 01:15:50,525 --> 01:15:52,582 So I'm just gonna lay this out on the front street. 1049 01:15:52,838 --> 01:15:55,965 I know you feel something big, something real the other night when we were together 1050 01:15:56,220 --> 01:15:58,926 Because I felt it too. 1051 01:15:59,203 --> 01:16:01,618 We tried to fuck, and instead 1052 01:16:01,896 --> 01:16:03,313 We wound out making love. 1053 01:16:03,572 --> 01:16:04,987 So if this is it what you need to hear 1054 01:16:05,332 --> 01:16:06,858 In order to keep you from fucking Lester. 1055 01:16:07,106 --> 01:16:08,612 If this is what you need, fine. 1056 01:16:08,967 --> 01:16:11,047 Here it is. I'm gonna say it. 1057 01:16:12,613 --> 01:16:14,235 I love you, Miri. 1058 01:16:18,802 --> 01:16:22,020 -Happy? - Oh Jesus. 1059 01:16:22,377 --> 01:16:25,152 You better get hold of yourself, Zack, cause we just fucked. 1060 01:16:34,661 --> 01:16:36,622 What if I didn't fuck Stacey? -But you did. 1061 01:16:38,091 --> 01:16:42,493 - You know what.. Oh shit. 1062 01:16:44,207 --> 01:16:45,890 What? 1063 01:16:50,128 --> 01:16:53,710 Alright guys, don't forget I'm down here watch that pull out, huh? 1064 01:16:57,065 --> 01:16:59,237 This is some damn good coffee. 1065 01:16:59,770 --> 01:17:01,940 Hey man, where are you going? - Get the fuck out of here. 1066 01:17:02,265 --> 01:17:03,930 We gotta finish this movie. 1067 01:17:14,219 --> 01:17:15,694 Can you believe this shit? 1068 01:17:16,140 --> 01:17:19,189 -Do you believe this shit? - What the fuck just happened in there? 1069 01:17:19,688 --> 01:17:20,984 I'll tell you what just happened in there.. 1070 01:17:21,458 --> 01:17:24,064 That chick frosted me, like a fucking cake! 1071 01:18:02,269 --> 01:18:04,984 Three Months Later... 1072 01:18:07,462 --> 01:18:09,949 Seriously, we shoot the shit out of this bitch. 1073 01:18:11,466 --> 01:18:13,734 -Cock shots? - Cock shots. 1074 01:18:27,213 --> 01:18:28,975 We shot you in the balls! 1075 01:18:30,145 --> 01:18:33,340 Well, it's my job to get shot in the balls so.. 1076 01:18:33,765 --> 01:18:34,996 Excuse me.. 1077 01:18:35,264 --> 01:18:36,913 Didn't you use to work in the Bean-N-Gone coffee shop? 1078 01:18:38,220 --> 01:18:40,488 I sure shit hope this pays better, I tell you. 1079 01:18:45,944 --> 01:18:48,516 So why don't they just shoot you with a puck? 1080 01:18:48,756 --> 01:18:52,201 -What do you mean? - I mean, what does paintball gotta do with hockey? 1081 01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:55,460 Nothing, I guess.. 1082 01:18:56,279 --> 01:18:58,615 So, ain't no prices or..? 1083 01:19:02,137 --> 01:19:03,722 In the balls. 1084 01:19:07,180 --> 01:19:09,970 Yeah, they sure are. It's a living though.. 1085 01:19:10,259 --> 01:19:11,693 Oh, you get the checks I've been senting you? 1086 01:19:11,911 --> 01:19:13,407 Yes, thank you very much. I appreciate that. 1087 01:19:14,773 --> 01:19:18,445 Well, I didn't save you from the brutal tongue lashing though, huh? 1088 01:19:18,725 --> 01:19:22,121 Well, you know, the wife never found out about the camera, cause 1089 01:19:22,418 --> 01:19:25,023 -I payed off the bills. - How did you manage that? 1090 01:19:25,965 --> 01:19:29,310 -Because now I'm rich. - No way! 1091 01:19:29,824 --> 01:19:33,407 -The post office fucking settled? -Hundred and sixty large, son. 1092 01:19:33,671 --> 01:19:35,663 Nice man! Congratulations. 1093 01:19:35,952 --> 01:19:38,201 It's a beautiful day, thank you very much. - I thought you made that all thing up. 1094 01:19:38,456 --> 01:19:41,041 It's very real, you can believe it. 1095 01:19:42,409 --> 01:19:43,744 No, she's spending off. 1096 01:19:49,457 --> 01:19:50,814 Well, since you ain't gonna ask me.. 1097 01:19:51,458 --> 01:19:55,676 I just go ahead and tell you.. No, I have not seen Miri. - I wasn't gonna ask that. 1098 01:19:56,667 --> 01:19:59,726 Oh. I suppose you weren't gonna ask about your movie either. 1099 01:19:59,975 --> 01:20:01,212 Look, that's why I came down here, cause 1100 01:20:01,478 --> 01:20:03,162 I need you to come and take a look at it. 1101 01:20:03,431 --> 01:20:05,439 -I'm not interested, man - Well, you better get interested, 1102 01:20:05,698 --> 01:20:07,738 Cause you still owe me money. - What's wrong with the movie? 1103 01:20:08,597 --> 01:20:13,211 -The story doesn't make sense. - The story? 1104 01:20:14,360 --> 01:20:16,470 It's a fucking porno movie, man. What story? 1105 01:20:16,738 --> 01:20:19,313 It's a movie, dog. And a movie's gotta have an ending. 1106 01:20:20,095 --> 01:20:23,344 -Which we don't have at the moment. - Credits. 1107 01:20:23,748 --> 01:20:25,747 -There's your fucking ending. - Do me this favor, okay? 1108 01:20:26,283 --> 01:20:29,125 When you're done getting your nuts blown off, 1109 01:20:29,404 --> 01:20:33,847 come back to humble Mornoewill to my crib for couple hours. 1110 01:20:34,096 --> 01:20:37,252 Check out the flick, you tell me what's missing. 1111 01:20:39,537 --> 01:20:42,161 I'll tell you what. You do that, you don't know me shit no more. 1112 01:20:43,189 --> 01:20:44,814 -Really? - Really. 1113 01:20:45,251 --> 01:20:46,921 -Is your wife home? - Yes. 1114 01:20:48,448 --> 01:20:50,891 Maybe I should leave the patch on, huh? 1115 01:20:51,524 --> 01:20:53,644 You got some extra ones? 1116 01:21:04,306 --> 01:21:06,605 -Hey honey. - Where the fuck you've been? 1117 01:21:06,993 --> 01:21:10,006 -And who the fuck is this now? - Would you calm down woman? God damn! 1118 01:21:10,409 --> 01:21:14,878 You already left one white boy down in my basement. 1119 01:21:15,155 --> 01:21:17,203 What if that mother fucker was grabby on me? 1120 01:21:17,471 --> 01:21:21,563 -Ain't nobody wanna grab on you. - Oh, what in the fuck was that supposed to mean?! 1121 01:21:21,829 --> 01:21:25,966 -Ain't nobody wanna grab on you! - White boys love me! White boy? 1122 01:21:26,985 --> 01:21:29,423 -I said white boy! - Yeah? 1123 01:21:29,738 --> 01:21:32,463 -You'd fuck me, wouldn't you? - Should I say yes? 1124 01:21:32,671 --> 01:21:34,207 -Say yes. - Yes. 1125 01:21:37,710 --> 01:21:40,644 Why don't you uh..? Head down stairs.. 1126 01:21:41,179 --> 01:21:43,229 -It's through this hall way. - Nice to meet you. 1127 01:21:43,536 --> 01:21:45,092 You too. 1128 01:21:47,162 --> 01:21:48,253 What the fuck are you looking at? 1129 01:21:48,738 --> 01:21:50,609 Why you gotta be up in here yelling at me in front of my director? 1130 01:21:50,922 --> 01:21:52,519 -Oh, he's the director? - Yeah. 1131 01:21:52,784 --> 01:21:54,479 I didn't know he's the director. 1132 01:21:54,765 --> 01:21:57,332 Okay, well, why don't he direct my ass into a new mother fucking husband. 1133 01:21:57,600 --> 01:21:58,925 How about that shit? 1134 01:22:00,717 --> 01:22:04,006 Oh, don't nobody want them saggy ass balls! - Saggy balls? 1135 01:22:04,304 --> 01:22:06,304 Look how saggy ass titties you got run around here? 1136 01:22:06,622 --> 01:22:08,898 Oh, then mother fucker we match! 1137 01:22:13,161 --> 01:22:14,685 Oh shit. 1138 01:22:14,984 --> 01:22:18,487 -Where's my paintball gun at? - Look at you, editor and DP 1139 01:22:18,793 --> 01:22:19,912 You got your shit covered, man 1140 01:22:20,217 --> 01:22:23,139 Please, don't ever say shit covered to me again. 1141 01:22:25,070 --> 01:22:28,134 Roll the film for the man please, so we can see what he thinks. 1142 01:22:29,076 --> 01:22:32,380 Just jump to it though, I ain't gotta all night. The bitch is on me. 1143 01:22:33,498 --> 01:22:35,827 Nigga Rich Productions, classy 1144 01:22:36,123 --> 01:22:38,440 -Yeah, Dream Works was taken. - Was it? 1145 01:22:38,757 --> 01:22:40,917 Plus it sounds like underground gay fuck club. 1146 01:22:41,213 --> 01:22:42,970 "I met a guy at Dream Works" Yeah. 1147 01:22:43,265 --> 01:22:46,545 Alright, so we got Lester and Stacey fucking. 1148 01:22:47,663 --> 01:22:50,085 And then we got Barry and Bubbles fucking. 1149 01:22:50,609 --> 01:22:52,966 And then this boring bullshit. 1150 01:22:59,046 --> 01:23:00,889 Okay, just go to the next scene would you? 1151 01:23:03,337 --> 01:23:05,761 -Ah, what next scene? - The one with Miri and Lester? 1152 01:23:06,751 --> 01:23:09,703 -We never shot it. - Why not? 1153 01:23:10,198 --> 01:23:11,547 Because, after you left that night 1154 01:23:11,796 --> 01:23:13,853 Miri came out of the back room and said she couldn't do it. 1155 01:23:14,270 --> 01:23:17,212 -We wrapped after that. - Wrapped? So.. 1156 01:23:18,194 --> 01:23:21,720 -Wait.. So Miri..? - Never fucked nobody. 1157 01:23:22,703 --> 01:23:24,493 Just you. 1158 01:23:25,296 --> 01:23:28,000 Now, I wonder why she did that. 1159 01:23:31,899 --> 01:23:34,931 You see, there was the time when I was just a bitter old fuck 1160 01:23:35,359 --> 01:23:36,722 Making coffees. 1161 01:23:36,992 --> 01:23:38,783 And stacey was just a lap dancer. 1162 01:23:39,278 --> 01:23:41,127 And Barry and Bubbles didn't know each other. 1163 01:23:41,395 --> 01:23:43,368 And this fool here, hell, I don't even know what he was! 1164 01:23:44,247 --> 01:23:46,850 -A white supremacist. - Ah, fuck you. 1165 01:23:47,297 --> 01:23:49,029 Then two people come along 1166 01:23:49,405 --> 01:23:51,268 And showed us something, we didn't know existed. 1167 01:23:52,122 --> 01:23:53,573 A world of possibilities 1168 01:23:53,851 --> 01:23:56,546 Where plain old people, just like us 1169 01:23:57,051 --> 01:23:58,944 Can do something special. 1170 01:23:59,796 --> 01:24:03,176 Even if it's someone filming people fucking. 1171 01:24:13,555 --> 01:24:15,372 Sometimes.. 1172 01:24:16,421 --> 01:24:18,463 We just need someone to show us something 1173 01:24:18,742 --> 01:24:20,851 We can't see for ourselves. 1174 01:24:23,140 --> 01:24:25,355 And it will change for ever. 1175 01:24:36,153 --> 01:24:38,984 So as you can see, our movie ain't got no ending. 1176 01:24:40,787 --> 01:24:42,621 And every movie needs an ending, don't it? 1177 01:24:47,797 --> 01:24:49,198 Thanks. 1178 01:24:50,912 --> 01:24:54,634 Delaney, you're a slick cupid mother fucker 1179 01:24:55,128 --> 01:24:59,695 Ain't love grand? - Why the fuck is this white boy doing in our God damn house? 1180 01:25:00,797 --> 01:25:02,707 Sometimes. 1181 01:25:21,286 --> 01:25:23,596 -No, get out! - I'm sorry.. Close the door for once. 1182 01:25:23,953 --> 01:25:26,279 -It was closed over - Just close the fucking door, Zack 1183 01:25:27,380 --> 01:25:30,677 I never slept with Stacey that night, okay? I swear to God. 1184 01:25:32,176 --> 01:25:34,966 But when we got into my room, you know what we did? We talked about you 1185 01:25:35,323 --> 01:25:36,720 And us 1186 01:25:37,104 --> 01:25:40,521 And how things were different and how I was too much of a fucking pussy 1187 01:25:41,623 --> 01:25:44,376 To just tell you how I felt about you. 1188 01:25:45,108 --> 01:25:49,487 And I know, I know that's only because of all the stupid shit we said about 1189 01:25:49,733 --> 01:25:52,672 how we wouldn't let sex change us, but it did 1190 01:25:52,952 --> 01:25:56,506 It changed me. That has to be love, right? 1191 01:25:58,001 --> 01:25:59,121 It has to be love, and.. 1192 01:26:00,677 --> 01:26:03,073 Just so you know, I can't go back being just friends anymore 1193 01:26:03,518 --> 01:26:05,113 because.. 1194 01:26:05,885 --> 01:26:07,184 I just can't. 1195 01:26:07,787 --> 01:26:11,828 And I think you feel the same way. 1196 01:26:13,145 --> 01:26:17,015 Because that night after I left, you didn't fuck Lester 1197 01:26:21,453 --> 01:26:22,925 What's up, Zack? 1198 01:26:33,086 --> 01:26:35,817 You know what? I do not care that you're fucking Lester, okay? 1199 01:26:36,125 --> 01:26:39,917 How's that? Because I don't wanna be with anyone but you 1200 01:26:40,176 --> 01:26:43,569 So I will wait for ever for you, okay? I will wait the rest of my life. 1201 01:26:44,292 --> 01:26:47,484 Because I love you and I have for as long as I can remember 1202 01:26:48,006 --> 01:26:50,561 And I would rather die than be without you, Miriam Linky. 1203 01:26:51,542 --> 01:26:53,225 Miri's lastname is Linky? 1204 01:26:54,235 --> 01:26:56,127 You're gonna fuck a guy who doesn't know your lastname? 1205 01:26:56,416 --> 01:26:58,315 Or that you beat Cole Rothen in the sixth grade? - I know that 1206 01:26:58,534 --> 01:27:00,952 Or what your senior prom dress would've looked like, 1207 01:27:01,278 --> 01:27:04,625 had we gone, but we decided not to and we got drunk alone instead. 1208 01:27:05,494 --> 01:27:07,773 Or that you wash your hair in the toilet. 1209 01:27:08,050 --> 01:27:09,992 -We're not fucking, Zack - Or that you're not fucking Zack 1210 01:27:10,220 --> 01:27:11,100 -What? - Yeah I mean, I asked her to fuck me 1211 01:27:11,350 --> 01:27:12,817 but she wouldn't do it. 1212 01:27:13,073 --> 01:27:15,244 Then I even tried to talk her in to give me the fucking Dutch Rider 1213 01:27:15,600 --> 01:27:17,561 Shut me down on that, too. 1214 01:27:18,720 --> 01:27:21,323 -And the Dutch Rider is..? - You don't know what Dutch Rider is? 1215 01:27:21,701 --> 01:27:25,204 Oh look, you grab your dick, and then you have someone else work you arm 1216 01:27:25,569 --> 01:27:26,876 Let me show you 1217 01:27:27,154 --> 01:27:28,935 You grab my arm, I'll grab my dick You grab my arm 1218 01:27:29,181 --> 01:27:30,849 now work it. Work my arm. 1219 01:27:31,243 --> 01:27:33,261 See that shit? Work it up and down. 1220 01:27:33,521 --> 01:27:35,462 See? It's like someone else striking you off. 1221 01:27:36,042 --> 01:27:38,146 And of course, there's the double Dutch Rider. 1222 01:27:38,621 --> 01:27:40,212 Which I grab my dick, you grab your dick, 1223 01:27:40,581 --> 01:27:42,283 you work my arm, I'll work your arm. 1224 01:27:42,520 --> 01:27:43,345 Same time 1225 01:27:43,582 --> 01:27:44,966 Same time, it's like jerking off together but not gay 1226 01:27:45,578 --> 01:27:46,828 We're not touching dicks 1227 01:27:47,293 --> 01:27:49,123 Each other's dicks anyway, I'm touching my own dick. 1228 01:27:49,430 --> 01:27:51,925 You're working it, and I'm loving it. 1229 01:27:52,211 --> 01:27:53,926 It feels good. Try me, come on. 1230 01:27:54,332 --> 01:27:56,917 Sorry to change the subject on you Lester, but 1231 01:27:57,868 --> 01:28:01,729 If you're not fucking Miri, why is your dick out right now? 1232 01:28:02,603 --> 01:28:04,878 Cause I live here now and I like to be naked. - Huh? 1233 01:28:06,918 --> 01:28:08,613 When you moved out, she couldn't afford to pay the rent by herself 1234 01:28:09,020 --> 01:28:12,179 so I moved in to help. - But who's keeping her room? 1235 01:28:12,756 --> 01:28:14,993 That's my room now, she moved in your old room. 1236 01:28:15,439 --> 01:28:17,775 She changed rooms? 1237 01:28:18,052 --> 01:28:20,914 Yeah, she said she did it, cause she missed the smell of yours or some shit. 1238 01:28:23,786 --> 01:28:25,618 I don't smell anything. 1239 01:28:25,896 --> 01:28:27,658 But you know what? That probably means she loves you. 1240 01:28:30,613 --> 01:28:32,676 -Goodnight, Zack - Good night 1241 01:28:37,402 --> 01:28:38,963 Do you? 1242 01:28:41,341 --> 01:28:44,546 -Why are you crying? - Because I missed you so much! 1243 01:28:48,630 --> 01:28:50,185 I love you. 1244 01:28:55,007 --> 01:28:56,372 -I love you, I love you - I love you 1245 01:28:56,750 --> 01:29:00,573 I don't mean to alarm you, but I think I just jerked off Lester a little bit. 1246 01:29:01,842 --> 01:29:03,967 -The Dutch Rider? - Yeah, it's genius, right? 1247 01:29:04,295 --> 01:29:06,761 If you ask me that, I say I will Dutch Rider you for the rest of our lives. 1248 01:29:07,453 --> 01:29:08,842 Oh, good. 1249 01:29:09,604 --> 01:29:11,641 I'm getting tired of fucking the flash light. 1250 01:29:11,938 --> 01:29:13,780 -You fucked it? - Yeah. 1251 01:29:14,020 --> 01:29:15,743 -How did it feel like? - Feels like fucking a flash light. 107518

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