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1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
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2
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:44,735
Look, her first high-end retail
shopping experience.
3
00:00:44,809 --> 00:00:46,606
Her nanny tried
to take her to Baby Gap...
4
00:00:46,677 --> 00:00:48,838
but she'd just cry and cry.
5
00:00:48,913 --> 00:00:51,404
She was a professional shopper
at age three.
6
00:00:51,482 --> 00:00:52,744
Oh, wow!
7
00:00:52,817 --> 00:00:54,910
Remember when she was on
the cover of "Seventeen"?
8
00:00:54,986 --> 00:00:57,511
She had so much potential
back then.
9
00:00:57,588 --> 00:01:00,716
Look at her. She could have been
a Playmate by now.
10
00:01:00,792 --> 00:01:03,352
Hello! She's a lawyer.
11
00:01:03,428 --> 00:01:05,919
- That's way better.
- Why?
12
00:01:05,997 --> 00:01:07,362
There she is!
13
00:01:07,432 --> 00:01:09,923
You always said she has
the perfect shaped head...
14
00:01:10,001 --> 00:01:12,868
for a tiara!
15
00:01:12,937 --> 00:01:15,929
Look at that slime dog!
16
00:01:16,007 --> 00:01:19,704
It was so nice of you to make
this for Elle's wedding shower.
17
00:01:19,777 --> 00:01:22,211
I can't scrapbook worth a damn.
18
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,714
I took a class on it
at community college.
19
00:01:24,782 --> 00:01:26,511
- She got a "B."
- Plus!
20
00:01:28,886 --> 00:01:30,854
The day she passed her LSAT!
21
00:01:30,922 --> 00:01:33,254
I swallowed
some of that Silly String.
22
00:01:33,324 --> 00:01:34,655
It wouldn't be the first time.
23
00:01:34,725 --> 00:01:38,252
Look at that.
Her first day at Harvard.
24
00:01:38,329 --> 00:01:40,229
Unbelievable. Awesome.
25
00:01:40,298 --> 00:01:43,665
The Bend and Snap!
26
00:01:43,734 --> 00:01:46,464
I love that.
I did it last night naked.
27
00:01:46,537 --> 00:01:50,064
- You did not.
- Yes. I busted a window.
28
00:01:50,141 --> 00:01:53,838
Oh, my God, there's
Bruiser's first highlights.
29
00:01:53,911 --> 00:01:56,436
Is this the key to
her first office at the firm?
30
00:01:56,514 --> 00:02:00,951
Remember that Caribbean decor?
It was genius.
31
00:02:01,018 --> 00:02:05,614
Look, there she is
with Congresswoman Rudd...
32
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:08,591
when they started the Harvard
alumni women's event.
33
00:02:08,659 --> 00:02:11,253
- Yeah.
- That's two kick-ass women.
34
00:02:11,329 --> 00:02:14,423
I like them. I really like them.
35
00:02:15,833 --> 00:02:19,132
The first day they met!
Emmett loves her already.
36
00:02:19,203 --> 00:02:21,296
You can see it in his eyes.
37
00:02:21,372 --> 00:02:22,498
Emmett and Elle.
38
00:02:22,573 --> 00:02:26,634
They're truly Romeo and Juliet
without the dying.
39
00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:28,008
Paulette?
40
00:02:28,079 --> 00:02:30,274
Oh, my God!
Girls, I think it's her.
41
00:02:30,348 --> 00:02:32,782
- Quick! Lights out!
- OK!
42
00:02:36,153 --> 00:02:38,314
Paulette?
43
00:02:38,389 --> 00:02:41,825
I thought we were supposed
to be at the movies by 9:00.
44
00:02:41,893 --> 00:02:44,862
Surprise!
45
00:02:51,402 --> 00:02:53,199
We got her!
46
00:02:53,271 --> 00:02:55,603
Oh, my God! Margot, Serena,
I cannot believe...
47
00:02:55,673 --> 00:02:57,334
you guys flew
all the way here!
48
00:02:57,408 --> 00:02:59,808
- No biggie.
- On the contrary.
49
00:02:59,877 --> 00:03:01,811
It's a huge biggie.
Thank you.
50
00:03:01,879 --> 00:03:03,642
You guys are the best.
51
00:03:03,714 --> 00:03:07,844
Speaking of biggies,
can we see your ring again?
52
00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:11,252
Not your Delta Nu ring, Elle.
53
00:03:11,322 --> 00:03:13,984
You mean, this one?
54
00:03:16,193 --> 00:03:19,526
Clarity between F.L. And V.V.S.
Nice girdle diameter.
55
00:03:19,597 --> 00:03:22,031
Cut impeccable.
It's a keeper.
56
00:03:22,099 --> 00:03:24,329
Thanks!
57
00:03:24,402 --> 00:03:27,269
Oh, my gosh, it's from Emmett!
58
00:03:27,338 --> 00:03:30,535
That's me and Emmett
on Fenway baseball field.
59
00:03:30,608 --> 00:03:32,269
It's his favorite place
in the whole world.
60
00:03:32,343 --> 00:03:35,471
I love snow globes.
61
00:03:36,614 --> 00:03:38,912
I can hear the ocean.
62
00:03:38,983 --> 00:03:41,918
Listen, honey,
you're a full-time bride now...
63
00:03:41,986 --> 00:03:43,783
so you'll need
a whole new wardrobe.
64
00:03:43,854 --> 00:03:47,085
I'm not quitting my job,
you guys.
65
00:03:47,158 --> 00:03:49,217
Do you guys remember
that feeling we used to get...
66
00:03:49,293 --> 00:03:51,420
during a really intense
Spinning class?
67
00:03:51,495 --> 00:03:55,693
That we feel so truly amazing
about ourselves?
68
00:03:55,766 --> 00:03:58,462
That's how I feel
being a lawyer. I love it.
69
00:03:58,536 --> 00:04:01,528
I have this huge
annual review coming up...
70
00:04:01,606 --> 00:04:03,801
so keep 'em crossed, girls.
71
00:04:03,874 --> 00:04:05,398
Crossed!
72
00:04:07,445 --> 00:04:09,606
Congratulations, you did it.
73
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:13,639
With three wrong answers,
you've managed to undermine...
74
00:04:13,718 --> 00:04:17,984
the entire foundation upon which
our legal system's built.
75
00:04:18,055 --> 00:04:21,422
And by the way...
76
00:04:21,492 --> 00:04:24,017
it only took me
two wrong answers.
77
00:04:31,669 --> 00:04:36,231
Sweetie, you customized my ring?
Again?
78
00:04:36,307 --> 00:04:39,071
Emmett, you are never
going to believe my news!
79
00:04:39,143 --> 00:04:41,270
- What?
- Fenway Park!
80
00:04:41,345 --> 00:04:44,337
You, me, two rings, and
one recently ordained umpire...
81
00:04:44,415 --> 00:04:45,643
right on the entry field!
82
00:04:45,716 --> 00:04:47,741
Infield.
What are you talking about?
83
00:04:47,818 --> 00:04:50,116
It turns out the starting
pitcher for the Red Sox...
84
00:04:50,187 --> 00:04:52,314
has an unfortunate
unibrow problem.
85
00:04:52,390 --> 00:04:54,449
He goes to Nadia, my waxer...
86
00:04:54,525 --> 00:04:56,356
so the team pulled some strings
with the site manager...
87
00:04:56,427 --> 00:04:58,088
and we're getting married
at Fenway!
88
00:04:58,162 --> 00:05:00,653
Are you serious?
89
00:05:00,731 --> 00:05:03,962
Are you sure
this is what you want to do?
90
00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:07,698
I can married anywhere
and it wouldn't matter.
91
00:05:07,772 --> 00:05:09,603
That's a lie.
92
00:05:09,674 --> 00:05:14,373
I'm getting married
under the Green Monster!
93
00:05:14,445 --> 00:05:16,436
Yes!
94
00:05:16,514 --> 00:05:18,482
And in just
three months and four days!
95
00:05:18,549 --> 00:05:20,813
Emmett, we have so much
to talk about.
96
00:05:20,885 --> 00:05:23,854
I want everybody
who matters to us to be there.
97
00:05:25,790 --> 00:05:28,554
Oh, my God! I almost forgot!
98
00:05:30,294 --> 00:05:31,228
You want me to what?
99
00:05:31,228 --> 00:05:32,559
You want me to what?
100
00:05:32,630 --> 00:05:35,190
A biological
birth parent search.
101
00:05:35,266 --> 00:05:37,131
For your dog.
102
00:05:37,201 --> 00:05:40,568
For my Chihuahua-American
Bruiser Woods.
103
00:05:40,638 --> 00:05:44,233
I found him abandoned years ago.
104
00:05:44,308 --> 00:05:48,039
Miss, I'm the highest-paid,
most sought after...
105
00:05:48,112 --> 00:05:51,172
private investigator
in the greater Boston area.
106
00:05:51,248 --> 00:05:52,875
That's precisely why
we came to you, Detective.
107
00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:56,647
It is absolutely vital that
we find Bruiser's mother pronto.
108
00:05:56,721 --> 00:06:00,987
His father might be
more difficult. You know dogs.
109
00:06:01,058 --> 00:06:02,423
May I ask why?
110
00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:04,427
Of course.
"Martha Stewart Weddings"...
111
00:06:04,495 --> 00:06:07,362
recommends a 4 to 6-week
window for RSVPs...
112
00:06:07,431 --> 00:06:09,956
and I can't send the invitation
without an address.
113
00:06:10,034 --> 00:06:13,401
And the sooner I get started on
the calligraphy the better.
114
00:06:13,471 --> 00:06:16,406
You want to send an invitation
to your wedding...
115
00:06:16,474 --> 00:06:19,034
to your dog's mother.
And you're serious?
116
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:20,441
Detective,
if I have to make room...
117
00:06:20,511 --> 00:06:22,445
for my second cousin's
vegan diet coach...
118
00:06:22,513 --> 00:06:24,242
you better believe
I'll make room for the mother...
119
00:06:24,315 --> 00:06:27,011
of the one loving creature
who's always been there for me.
120
00:06:27,084 --> 00:06:30,212
In fact, I can't believe
I haven't done this sooner!
121
00:06:30,287 --> 00:06:33,051
I'm thinking the same thing.
122
00:06:40,264 --> 00:06:42,095
- Elle!
- Hi, Mr. Blaine.
123
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:44,430
- The client is thrilled.
- Good!
124
00:06:44,502 --> 00:06:46,902
How you seamlessly
negotiated that deal?
125
00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:50,407
- It was simply magnifique.
- Thank you.
126
00:06:50,474 --> 00:06:51,702
Big staff meeting today, kiddo.
127
00:06:51,776 --> 00:06:55,337
All right.
I got my fingers crossed.
128
00:06:55,412 --> 00:06:57,846
Milton, two shots, extra foam.
129
00:06:57,915 --> 00:07:00,577
- Wow. Thanks, E.W.
- No problem!
130
00:07:00,651 --> 00:07:02,915
- Go get 'em today.
- Thanks.
131
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,955
Soy for you, honey. No dairy.
132
00:07:05,022 --> 00:07:06,853
That's right. Thank you.
Your call list is endless.
133
00:07:06,924 --> 00:07:08,892
- It is?
- We better get right on it.
134
00:07:10,427 --> 00:07:12,918
Kevin, you shouldn't have!
135
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:15,465
I'm not sure they're giving me
the promotion today.
136
00:07:15,533 --> 00:07:17,467
It's just a widespread
yet credible rumor.
137
00:07:17,535 --> 00:07:20,060
It's from me and the girls.
138
00:07:20,137 --> 00:07:21,832
Oh, right!
139
00:07:23,974 --> 00:07:25,498
Now do me.
140
00:07:28,879 --> 00:07:31,143
I feel like the luckiest girl
in the world.
141
00:07:31,215 --> 00:07:32,944
- Me, too!
- You do?
142
00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:35,076
I had no idea
I could be this happy...
143
00:07:35,152 --> 00:07:38,019
without accruing
credit card debt.
144
00:07:38,088 --> 00:07:39,851
Already?
145
00:07:39,924 --> 00:07:43,291
Well, Miss Woods,
even the weird ones get cracked.
146
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,124
- You ready?
- Yes!
147
00:07:48,432 --> 00:07:51,026
Bruiser Woods...
148
00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:53,626
meet your mom.
149
00:07:53,704 --> 00:07:56,502
Bruiser... your cheekbones.
150
00:07:58,442 --> 00:07:59,875
And it's all in there.
151
00:07:59,944 --> 00:08:02,412
Good luck finding whatever
it is you're looking for.
152
00:08:04,148 --> 00:08:07,606
Oh, my God!
She's a Bostonian!
153
00:08:10,254 --> 00:08:13,382
Bruiser, we're here!
154
00:08:13,457 --> 00:08:15,288
As your adoptive mother,
I'm sure you're nervous...
155
00:08:15,359 --> 00:08:16,792
about meeting
your birth mother...
156
00:08:16,861 --> 00:08:21,423
but hear her out, OK?
I'm sure she had her reasons.
157
00:08:21,498 --> 00:08:23,898
Bruiser,
your mother lives at...
158
00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:25,697
the top secret
Versace think-tank!
159
00:08:25,769 --> 00:08:27,828
I told you they had one!
160
00:08:27,905 --> 00:08:29,031
No, ma'am.
161
00:08:29,106 --> 00:08:31,336
Unless you have a pass,
you cannot go up there.
162
00:08:31,408 --> 00:08:33,342
Lucky I always keep it on me.
163
00:08:33,410 --> 00:08:36,811
Hold on. It's right here.
164
00:08:36,881 --> 00:08:38,542
There you go.
165
00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:40,675
What is it?
166
00:08:40,751 --> 00:08:42,378
It's my double platinum
V.V.I.P. Versace...
167
00:08:42,453 --> 00:08:44,512
Preferred Customer
identification card.
168
00:08:44,588 --> 00:08:47,819
Available only to those that've
shopped on five continents.
169
00:08:47,892 --> 00:08:49,723
If that fails to satisfy you,
you can also contact...
170
00:08:49,793 --> 00:08:52,353
Billy Dailey,
head of customer relations.
171
00:08:52,429 --> 00:08:53,760
You got the wrong VERSACE, lady.
172
00:08:53,831 --> 00:08:55,992
Really? Donatella's not here?
173
00:08:56,066 --> 00:08:57,363
Bruiser, where are you going?
174
00:08:57,434 --> 00:08:59,527
Bruiser!
175
00:08:59,603 --> 00:09:00,900
Ma'am!
176
00:09:03,741 --> 00:09:04,935
Bruiser?
177
00:09:05,009 --> 00:09:07,477
Get back here!
178
00:09:07,544 --> 00:09:09,603
Where are you going?
179
00:09:11,982 --> 00:09:15,543
Bruiser, I didn't know
you were so athletic.
180
00:09:21,025 --> 00:09:23,994
What is it?
181
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,430
Oh, my God!
182
00:09:34,538 --> 00:09:37,439
You, come here!
183
00:09:37,508 --> 00:09:40,602
Come on!
Open this door immediately!
184
00:09:40,678 --> 00:09:41,872
What are you doing here?
185
00:09:41,946 --> 00:09:46,645
You have my dog's mom,
and I need her right now!
186
00:09:46,717 --> 00:09:48,742
Absolutely not.
I'm not authorized to release...
187
00:09:48,819 --> 00:09:50,787
any subjects
from their containment units.
188
00:09:50,854 --> 00:09:53,755
I'm not even allowed
to have a key.
189
00:09:53,824 --> 00:09:55,849
Swallow the thing one time,
and all of a sudden...
190
00:09:55,926 --> 00:09:58,827
you're the weird key swallower
who can't be trusted.
191
00:10:00,297 --> 00:10:02,891
I don't think
you're understanding me.
192
00:10:02,967 --> 00:10:04,434
I'm willing to pay for her.
193
00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:06,093
These animals
aren't for sale, ma'am.
194
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:07,899
They're the legal property
of this facility.
195
00:10:07,972 --> 00:10:11,271
What kind of facility is this?
196
00:10:14,611 --> 00:10:16,408
Mr. Livermore, I'm so sorry!
197
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,881
Elle, this VERSACE
is a cosmetic testing facility.
198
00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:23,113
- Oh, no!
- Bruiser's mom's a test subject.
199
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:25,018
I want her out of there
immediately.
200
00:10:25,089 --> 00:10:27,114
Animal test subjects
can only be surrendered...
201
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:29,523
on a voluntary basis,
and they're not volunteering.
202
00:10:29,593 --> 00:10:32,118
After I get through with them,
they'll be begging.
203
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,629
And I'm not just taking
Bruiser's mom.
204
00:10:33,697 --> 00:10:36,666
I'll bust all those dogs
out of that doggie dungeon.
205
00:10:36,734 --> 00:10:39,066
"Research Science
and Critter Exploitation"?
206
00:10:39,136 --> 00:10:42,299
This VERSACE's owned by the
C'est Magnifique Corporation!
207
00:10:42,373 --> 00:10:44,000
That's fantastic!
208
00:10:44,074 --> 00:10:46,474
Our law firm
represents C'est Magnifique.
209
00:10:46,543 --> 00:10:48,170
We can tell them to fix this.
210
00:10:48,245 --> 00:10:50,770
I can't wait to take this
to the partners.
211
00:10:50,848 --> 00:10:53,942
But how are you
going to convince them?
212
00:10:54,018 --> 00:10:55,986
Presenting...
213
00:10:59,123 --> 00:11:03,219
Abandoned at birth, I was
on my own at an early age...
214
00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:08,162
fighting for survival on
the streets of Beverly Hills...
215
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:11,633
making his way down
the boulevard of broken dreams,
216
00:11:11,702 --> 00:11:15,035
turning tricks
at Hollywood and Vine...
217
00:11:15,105 --> 00:11:17,437
yet even when
I found a loving mother...
218
00:11:17,508 --> 00:11:20,909
I couldn't shake this
nagging emptiness in my heart.
219
00:11:20,978 --> 00:11:23,606
It was like a void.
When I looked in the mirror...
220
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,671
who was it
that was looking back at me?
221
00:11:25,749 --> 00:11:28,240
This is Bruiser's question.
222
00:11:28,318 --> 00:11:32,345
And in a way,
aren't we all Bruisers?
223
00:11:32,423 --> 00:11:35,688
I think yes. Thank you.
224
00:11:38,095 --> 00:11:40,825
Ms. Woods,
this is a law firm...
225
00:11:40,898 --> 00:11:43,696
not an animal rights
advocacy group.
226
00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:46,201
We're lawyers.
We have to fight for justice.
227
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:48,204
And this is definitely unjust.
228
00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:52,038
In this case, the cost of beauty
is way too high.
229
00:11:52,109 --> 00:11:54,475
I can't believe I said that,
but it's true.
230
00:11:54,545 --> 00:11:56,604
What we fight for...
231
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,978
is our clients
and their best interests.
232
00:11:59,049 --> 00:12:02,746
But isn't doing the right thing
in everybody's best interest?
233
00:12:02,820 --> 00:12:05,812
I think you're confusing
the right thing and the law.
234
00:12:05,889 --> 00:12:09,552
You didn't think
they were the same, did you?
235
00:12:09,626 --> 00:12:12,686
Why don't
we get back to business...
236
00:12:12,763 --> 00:12:15,254
and discuss
your very bright future?
237
00:12:15,332 --> 00:12:17,323
Pardon me,
I don't mean to interrupt...
238
00:12:17,401 --> 00:12:20,802
but I just--
What you're saying is...
239
00:12:20,871 --> 00:12:23,499
if C'est Magnifique
follows the letter of the law...
240
00:12:23,574 --> 00:12:27,010
even if it ends up
hurting living beings...
241
00:12:27,077 --> 00:12:31,275
we're just doing our job?
242
00:12:31,348 --> 00:12:35,079
I'm sorry, Mr. Blaine...
243
00:12:35,152 --> 00:12:38,485
I don't think I can work
with people who believe that.
244
00:12:40,858 --> 00:12:44,658
You know what? You're right.
245
00:12:44,728 --> 00:12:46,992
Thank you, Mr. Blaine.
246
00:12:47,064 --> 00:12:49,259
You shouldn't have to work
with people who believe that.
247
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,392
Absolutely.
I knew you would understand.
248
00:12:51,468 --> 00:12:53,732
You're fired, Elle.
249
00:12:53,804 --> 00:12:55,294
What?
250
00:12:55,372 --> 00:12:59,138
We only have room
for serious lawyers here.
251
00:12:59,209 --> 00:13:03,077
Take the rest of the day
to clear out your things.
252
00:13:03,147 --> 00:13:07,140
But the secretarial pool
already gave me a balloon.
253
00:13:07,217 --> 00:13:09,708
Keep the balloon, if you wish.
254
00:13:20,297 --> 00:13:22,765
Please, Emmett, just go away.
255
00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:25,131
Why don't you come on out,
sweetie?
256
00:13:25,202 --> 00:13:27,295
I know Bruiser
doesn't blame you.
257
00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:30,238
But I'm all he has to speak
for him in this world...
258
00:13:30,307 --> 00:13:31,774
and I have
completely failed him.
259
00:13:31,842 --> 00:13:35,835
You know what I thought
the first time I saw you?
260
00:13:35,913 --> 00:13:39,314
"God, that woman
wears a lot of pink"?
261
00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:43,581
No. I thought...
262
00:13:43,654 --> 00:13:46,248
"That woman is really special."
263
00:13:46,323 --> 00:13:50,657
"She believes she can make
a difference and she will."
264
00:13:50,727 --> 00:13:55,562
So... come on out
and let's talk about it.
265
00:13:55,632 --> 00:13:57,657
No.
266
00:13:57,734 --> 00:14:01,534
We could go over
some wedding details.
267
00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:06,842
How about that? It revolves.
268
00:14:06,910 --> 00:14:08,207
And it illuminates.
269
00:14:08,278 --> 00:14:10,610
It's even
got the Red Sox colors.
270
00:14:10,681 --> 00:14:13,081
That's fantastic, honey!
271
00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:15,311
Speaking of red socks...
272
00:14:15,385 --> 00:14:17,250
you're not getting
cold feet, are you?
273
00:14:17,321 --> 00:14:18,549
About what?
274
00:14:18,622 --> 00:14:21,250
How's it going to look?
A Harvard law professor...
275
00:14:21,325 --> 00:14:23,793
married to a lawyer who
got fired from her first job.
276
00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:25,851
Fired for something
she believes in.
277
00:14:25,929 --> 00:14:27,487
It's going to look like...
278
00:14:27,564 --> 00:14:32,695
"There goes the luckiest guy
in the whole world."
279
00:14:33,804 --> 00:14:35,829
Thanks.
280
00:14:43,614 --> 00:14:46,606
Holy crap!
281
00:14:46,683 --> 00:14:50,744
It's gorgeous!
282
00:14:50,821 --> 00:14:52,846
The material
keeps falling apart.
283
00:14:52,923 --> 00:14:54,447
No!
284
00:14:54,524 --> 00:14:56,719
Amy, is something wrong?
285
00:14:58,929 --> 00:15:01,454
You can't do a scallop trim
on the outer hoop skirt.
286
00:15:01,531 --> 00:15:04,364
The material's too delicate.
It'll just fall apart.
287
00:15:04,434 --> 00:15:06,664
But in two out of three
home tests it held.
288
00:15:06,737 --> 00:15:08,728
I am so sorry, Elle.
289
00:15:13,176 --> 00:15:15,701
No biggie.
I guess I don't need...
290
00:15:15,779 --> 00:15:18,646
a scallop trim
on the outer hoop skirt.
291
00:15:18,715 --> 00:15:20,808
I'll be fine.
292
00:15:20,884 --> 00:15:22,818
What is it that you said
back when I couldn't...
293
00:15:22,886 --> 00:15:26,720
fit into my white spandex
pantsuit for my wedding?
294
00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,314
If the fabric
doesn't work with you...
295
00:15:28,392 --> 00:15:30,121
don't work with it.
296
00:15:30,193 --> 00:15:31,353
It's one of
my favorite mantras.
297
00:15:31,428 --> 00:15:34,829
That is so true, and I know
the most perfect organza!
298
00:15:34,898 --> 00:15:37,833
Or something
really classy like...
299
00:15:37,901 --> 00:15:40,426
like white leather!
300
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:43,667
I'll call the guy
that did my car seats.
301
00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:47,141
Wait... that's it.
302
00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:51,613
Don't fight the fabric.
Change it.
303
00:15:51,682 --> 00:15:54,515
OK, but white leather?
304
00:15:56,086 --> 00:15:59,419
If the law is what's keeping
Bruiser's mother locked up...
305
00:15:59,489 --> 00:16:01,787
I shouldn't be fighting it,
I should be changing it.
306
00:16:01,858 --> 00:16:04,759
Everybody, I'm going to make...
307
00:16:04,828 --> 00:16:07,160
animal testing
for cosmetics illegal!
308
00:16:07,230 --> 00:16:10,996
I know that making a dog wear
mascara and blush is wrong...
309
00:16:11,068 --> 00:16:12,933
This isn't just about
Bruiser's mom anymore...
310
00:16:13,003 --> 00:16:14,561
this is about the fact
that every day...
311
00:16:14,638 --> 00:16:16,936
that I put on my Gold Goddess
luminescent blush...
312
00:16:17,007 --> 00:16:20,204
some poor little innocent animal
might be suffering for it.
313
00:16:20,277 --> 00:16:22,404
You don't realize
how horrible something is...
314
00:16:22,479 --> 00:16:24,106
until it happens to you
personally.
315
00:16:24,181 --> 00:16:25,978
Like breastfeeding.
316
00:16:26,049 --> 00:16:28,779
And if I want to give
a voice to Bruiser...
317
00:16:28,852 --> 00:16:31,184
I have to go to the place
that gave a voice to the people!
318
00:16:31,254 --> 00:16:36,157
Oh, my God! The headquarters
of "Cosmopolitan" magazine!
319
00:16:37,761 --> 00:16:40,457
Better! Ladies...
320
00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:42,589
I'm going to Washington!
321
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,126
D.C., here I come!
322
00:16:45,202 --> 00:16:47,670
If anybody can handle this,
it's you, honey.
323
00:16:47,738 --> 00:16:51,265
I got a call from the Delta Nu
24-hour housing hotline.
324
00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:52,706
Your apartment's all set.
325
00:16:52,776 --> 00:16:55,108
- Great!
- Elle!
326
00:16:56,613 --> 00:17:01,710
Oh, my God! You look like
the Fourth of July!
327
00:17:01,785 --> 00:17:05,221
Makes me want a hot dog
real bad.
328
00:17:05,288 --> 00:17:08,724
Yeah, OK.
You got to get going, honey.
329
00:17:08,792 --> 00:17:09,952
OK.
330
00:17:11,495 --> 00:17:13,429
- Elle, look at this.
- What's that?
331
00:17:13,497 --> 00:17:15,465
According to
"Animal Fair" magazine...
332
00:17:15,532 --> 00:17:18,399
your new boss is the best
groomed woman in Washington.
333
00:17:18,468 --> 00:17:20,868
Her beagle's name
is Dolly Madison...
334
00:17:20,937 --> 00:17:24,373
which is my grandma's
stripper name.
335
00:17:24,441 --> 00:17:26,204
Isn't that a good sign?
336
00:17:26,276 --> 00:17:27,971
Oh, my gosh. A job with
a brilliant congresswoman...
337
00:17:28,044 --> 00:17:29,375
who's also
a fellow Harvard alum.
338
00:17:29,446 --> 00:17:32,609
You'll do great, Elle.
It's destiny.
339
00:17:32,682 --> 00:17:34,809
But isn't planning
the wedding of the century...
340
00:17:34,885 --> 00:17:37,979
and changing the law
kind of hard?
341
00:17:38,054 --> 00:17:40,648
Paulette, I taught Bruiser
how to shop online.
342
00:17:40,724 --> 00:17:43,693
I think I can handle Congress.
343
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,160
See ya.
344
00:18:24,234 --> 00:18:26,600
Home sweet home. You ready?
345
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,069
OK.
346
00:18:28,138 --> 00:18:29,571
Welcome to
the Wellington, ma'am.
347
00:18:29,639 --> 00:18:31,698
It's a thrill to be here!
348
00:18:50,794 --> 00:18:52,785
Time to legislate!
349
00:18:54,998 --> 00:18:56,465
No.
350
00:19:00,337 --> 00:19:02,328
Too Nancy.
351
00:19:02,405 --> 00:19:04,669
Too Hillary.
352
00:19:04,741 --> 00:19:07,539
Too Monica.
353
00:19:07,611 --> 00:19:10,375
Too perfect for words!
354
00:19:16,152 --> 00:19:18,017
Hi!
355
00:19:18,088 --> 00:19:20,852
Good morning,
fellow public servants.
356
00:19:20,924 --> 00:19:22,687
It's my first day.
357
00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:28,390
Nice briefcase.
358
00:19:28,465 --> 00:19:30,990
Huh? Thank you.
359
00:19:33,503 --> 00:19:35,164
Hi!
360
00:19:39,809 --> 00:19:44,007
Last item on
our agenda--Elle Woods.
361
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,105
Personal Rudd hire,
taking up a bill...
362
00:19:46,182 --> 00:19:48,912
on animal testing
in the cosmetic industry.
363
00:19:48,985 --> 00:19:50,714
I'm sorry,
Rudd's backing that?
364
00:19:50,787 --> 00:19:52,277
Matter of conscience,
whatever.
365
00:19:52,355 --> 00:19:55,085
Who knows? Maybe it'll boost
our female demographic.
366
00:19:55,158 --> 00:19:57,058
The point is
we're animal lovers now.
367
00:19:57,127 --> 00:20:00,961
If this is so important to Rudd,
shouldn't I be handling it?
368
00:20:01,031 --> 00:20:03,864
No, Timothy,
not when we have a woman...
369
00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:05,868
who according to Rudd,
is one of the shrewdest...
370
00:20:05,936 --> 00:20:08,131
legal and political minds
of our time.
371
00:20:10,273 --> 00:20:13,606
Hello, patriots!
372
00:20:13,677 --> 00:20:15,144
I don't think
I've been this excited...
373
00:20:15,211 --> 00:20:17,406
since Gucci became
a publicly traded company.
374
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:21,041
Oh, my God,
it's Capitol Barbie.
375
00:20:21,117 --> 00:20:23,244
She's so shiny.
376
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,220
So where should I start?
377
00:20:25,288 --> 00:20:26,755
Excuse me, sweetie?
378
00:20:26,823 --> 00:20:30,418
Intern orientation
is down the hall in Room 216.
379
00:20:30,493 --> 00:20:34,224
That's before 217 and after 215.
380
00:20:34,297 --> 00:20:36,595
Oh, my God!
That is so sweet of you!
381
00:20:36,666 --> 00:20:38,463
You think I'm an intern?
382
00:20:38,535 --> 00:20:41,470
That anti-wrinkle
all-salmon diet really works.
383
00:20:41,538 --> 00:20:42,732
Who are you?
384
00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:47,368
- I'm sorry--
- Elle Woods, welcome!
385
00:20:47,444 --> 00:20:50,004
I haven't seen you
since the alumni meeting!
386
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,311
- I know! How are you?
- Good!
387
00:20:53,383 --> 00:20:55,374
This is Elle Woods, everyone.
388
00:20:55,452 --> 00:20:58,717
Basically me
when I first came to D. C...
389
00:20:58,788 --> 00:21:01,882
so make her feel at home.
390
00:21:01,958 --> 00:21:03,516
You ready to hit
the ground running?
391
00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:05,618
Are these not
my comfortable heels?
392
00:21:05,695 --> 00:21:09,756
- Cute shoes.
- Thank you. They are comfy.
393
00:21:11,101 --> 00:21:13,592
Here's Bruiser. Welcome.
394
00:21:15,071 --> 00:21:18,268
Oh, you little sugar!
395
00:21:18,341 --> 00:21:20,070
Back her up, people.
396
00:21:20,143 --> 00:21:23,010
This is the most collaborative
bunch on the Hill...
397
00:21:23,079 --> 00:21:24,706
So gather them together...
398
00:21:24,781 --> 00:21:26,749
talk strategy as soon as
you get settled in.
399
00:21:26,816 --> 00:21:28,374
- And, Elle?
- Yes?
400
00:21:28,451 --> 00:21:31,477
- Welcome to Washington.
- Thank you!
401
00:21:31,554 --> 00:21:34,489
Okey-dokey.
402
00:21:34,557 --> 00:21:37,458
I missed the part about
where my office is.
403
00:21:37,527 --> 00:21:40,360
The desk. Right here.
404
00:21:43,667 --> 00:21:47,068
All righty. Then I'm going
to need a glue gun...
405
00:21:47,137 --> 00:21:51,233
some pinking shears, and
five yards of grosgrain ribbon.
406
00:21:51,307 --> 00:21:53,298
Yeah, that'll do it.
407
00:21:56,413 --> 00:21:58,745
Well, look at you.
408
00:21:58,815 --> 00:22:00,806
You can run your wedding
coordinator business...
409
00:22:00,884 --> 00:22:02,715
during all that
legislative downtime.
410
00:22:02,786 --> 00:22:04,276
Don't be silly, Grace.
411
00:22:04,354 --> 00:22:06,584
This is to plan
my own wedding to Emmett.
412
00:22:06,656 --> 00:22:09,318
See, this is us.
He had this made for me.
413
00:22:09,392 --> 00:22:12,555
That's him,
and that's me smiling.
414
00:22:12,629 --> 00:22:13,994
Maybe he'll make one
of you and me.
415
00:22:14,064 --> 00:22:15,827
You'll be talking
and I'll be throwing up.
416
00:22:15,899 --> 00:22:18,367
Speaking of nuptials,
wait till I tell...
417
00:22:18,435 --> 00:22:20,096
the congresswoman
that I was invited...
418
00:22:20,170 --> 00:22:22,104
to John McCain's
nephew's wedding.
419
00:22:22,172 --> 00:22:24,037
He's really quite a sweet kid.
420
00:22:24,107 --> 00:22:25,699
Tell me something, Timothy...
421
00:22:25,775 --> 00:22:28,335
is it difficult for you
to breathe with...
422
00:22:28,411 --> 00:22:30,572
your mouth flat
against your employer's butt?
423
00:22:30,647 --> 00:22:33,275
I don't know, Grace.
Is it difficult to see...
424
00:22:33,349 --> 00:22:35,408
with your head in
the Minority Whip's lap?
425
00:22:35,485 --> 00:22:37,715
It was the distinguished
gentlemen from Iowa.
426
00:22:37,787 --> 00:22:40,449
His wife had recently left him
and we just talked.
427
00:22:40,523 --> 00:22:43,492
Right. Because if
you did "visit" his district...
428
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,994
you should've gotten
some legislation out of it.
429
00:22:46,062 --> 00:22:47,188
How would you even know...
430
00:22:47,263 --> 00:22:49,731
when you're busy chasing
interns on a skateboard?
431
00:22:49,799 --> 00:22:52,666
Excuse me? Who wants
to talk animal testing?
432
00:22:52,736 --> 00:22:55,102
Write a bill, Britney.
I don't have a car!
433
00:23:01,077 --> 00:23:02,476
Snap Cup time
434
00:23:02,545 --> 00:23:04,843
Gather ye round
435
00:23:04,914 --> 00:23:07,712
Friends and foes together
436
00:23:07,784 --> 00:23:10,218
United and bound
437
00:23:10,286 --> 00:23:12,618
Pass it to your neighbor
438
00:23:12,689 --> 00:23:14,816
Instead of blowing up
439
00:23:14,891 --> 00:23:17,121
And we'll find
harmony and love
440
00:23:17,193 --> 00:23:19,457
In the Snap Cup!
441
00:23:20,964 --> 00:23:23,398
Don't tell me you don't know
what a Snap Cup is?
442
00:23:25,301 --> 00:23:27,235
OK, I'll explain it.
443
00:23:27,303 --> 00:23:30,534
You are going to write down
an anonymous praise note...
444
00:23:30,607 --> 00:23:32,541
on a little warm fuzzy.
445
00:23:32,609 --> 00:23:33,769
Warm fuzzy?
446
00:23:33,843 --> 00:23:35,276
Yes. Compliments
about your co-workers.
447
00:23:35,345 --> 00:23:36,607
Just something nice.
448
00:23:36,679 --> 00:23:40,046
Then you deposit them
in the sacred vessel.
449
00:23:40,116 --> 00:23:43,574
The Snap Cup is essential to
any bipartisan environment.
450
00:23:43,653 --> 00:23:45,518
Consider 1998 Spring Carnival.
451
00:23:45,588 --> 00:23:48,614
The Delta Nus partnered
with the Kappa Kappa Gammas...
452
00:23:48,691 --> 00:23:51,558
on Project Kissing Booth.
Big problems.
453
00:23:51,628 --> 00:23:52,822
Go ahead, write.
454
00:23:52,896 --> 00:23:55,126
So, a whole heated
debate transpired...
455
00:23:55,198 --> 00:23:57,257
over the whole
tongue-no tongue policy.
456
00:23:57,333 --> 00:23:59,164
I think you know what side
the Kappas were on.
457
00:23:59,235 --> 00:24:02,170
Anyway, it really helped us
move past the conflict...
458
00:24:02,238 --> 00:24:03,728
and I think
it can help us today.
459
00:24:03,807 --> 00:24:07,174
Let's just try this, OK?
460
00:24:07,243 --> 00:24:09,575
Thank you, Reena. Thank you.
461
00:24:09,646 --> 00:24:10,840
Thanks for that.
462
00:24:10,914 --> 00:24:13,007
Thank you, Timothy.
463
00:24:14,384 --> 00:24:20,653
So now, the Snap Cup
mistress--me--recites.
464
00:24:21,691 --> 00:24:23,488
Good, I got mine.
465
00:24:24,828 --> 00:24:28,127
"Grace always has the confidence
to speak her mind.
466
00:24:28,198 --> 00:24:31,258
"Plus, she looks terrific
in charcoal."
467
00:24:31,334 --> 00:24:33,734
And, voil�, snaps for Grace!
468
00:24:33,803 --> 00:24:36,772
You see? Our first Snap Cup!
469
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,742
This is so exciting!
I wonder what'll happen next?
470
00:24:40,810 --> 00:24:43,779
All right, this is...
471
00:24:43,847 --> 00:24:48,307
"What do Elle Woods and
the Snap Cup have in common?"
472
00:24:48,384 --> 00:24:50,614
A riddle. That's so cool.
473
00:24:50,687 --> 00:24:52,211
I love riddles.
474
00:24:52,288 --> 00:24:55,121
"They're both..."
475
00:24:58,361 --> 00:25:00,420
"stupid."
476
00:25:00,496 --> 00:25:02,225
Enough already.
477
00:25:02,298 --> 00:25:05,096
Maybe we can do something
actually worthwhile...
478
00:25:05,168 --> 00:25:06,601
like attend the hearing
of the committee...
479
00:25:06,669 --> 00:25:08,933
you need to crack.
I'll take you myself.
480
00:25:09,005 --> 00:25:12,964
Thank you, Grace.
That's very generous of you.
481
00:25:13,042 --> 00:25:16,412
See, I think
the Snap Cup really works.
482
00:25:19,549 --> 00:25:20,709
Wow.
483
00:25:20,783 --> 00:25:23,047
Good morning.
484
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,213
This is just like on C-SPAN
except I'm not bored.
485
00:25:26,289 --> 00:25:27,620
You're in the wrong room,
sweetheart.
486
00:25:27,690 --> 00:25:29,590
Intern orientation
is in room...
487
00:25:29,659 --> 00:25:32,856
216? Yes, I've heard.
Thank you.
488
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,563
Hi, I'm Elle Woods.
I'm not an intern.
489
00:25:40,637 --> 00:25:42,127
Rob Cole. Me, neither.
490
00:25:42,205 --> 00:25:44,730
I'm the new legislative aide
to Congresswoman Rudd.
491
00:25:44,807 --> 00:25:46,832
I'm an old congressman
from Delaware.
492
00:25:46,910 --> 00:25:50,402
I've been to Delaware!
No sales tax. Good one, sir.
493
00:25:51,447 --> 00:25:53,847
Committee is called to order.
494
00:25:55,785 --> 00:25:59,744
Welcome to
the special meeting of the...
495
00:25:59,822 --> 00:26:01,289
Excuse me. Sorry.
496
00:26:01,357 --> 00:26:04,019
Committee
of Energy and Commerce.
497
00:26:04,093 --> 00:26:07,927
Before we turn
to our official agenda...
498
00:26:07,997 --> 00:26:10,090
are there
any introductory remarks?
499
00:26:10,166 --> 00:26:11,827
Madam chairwoman...
500
00:26:11,901 --> 00:26:13,732
Grace Rossiter,
chief of staff...
501
00:26:13,803 --> 00:26:15,600
Representative Rudd,
Massachusetts.
502
00:26:15,672 --> 00:26:17,435
As our newest
legislative assistant...
503
00:26:17,507 --> 00:26:21,170
will be spearheading a campaign
under your committee...
504
00:26:21,244 --> 00:26:22,973
I'm sure she'd love the floor.
505
00:26:23,046 --> 00:26:27,312
Thus I yield to my colleague,
the lady in hot pink.
506
00:26:27,383 --> 00:26:29,977
You have the floor,
lady in hot pink.
507
00:26:30,053 --> 00:26:31,520
Me?
508
00:26:31,587 --> 00:26:35,455
Would you care to more
specifically identify yourself?
509
00:26:35,525 --> 00:26:37,117
Oh, sure!
510
00:26:37,193 --> 00:26:40,390
My name is Elle Woods,
Boston by way of Bel Air.
511
00:26:40,463 --> 00:26:42,226
And as my surname
would suggest...
512
00:26:42,298 --> 00:26:44,926
I am a passionate advocate
for everything in nature...
513
00:26:45,001 --> 00:26:46,161
and a contented citizen...
514
00:26:46,235 --> 00:26:48,795
until my shorthaired
Chihuahua, Bruiser...
515
00:26:48,871 --> 00:26:52,068
brought me face-to-face with
the animal testing issue.
516
00:26:52,141 --> 00:26:53,540
You're out of order,
Miss Woods.
517
00:26:53,609 --> 00:26:55,839
This is
a fuel efficiency hearing.
518
00:26:55,912 --> 00:26:58,574
I don't see anything in
the agenda about animal testing.
519
00:26:58,648 --> 00:26:59,774
Will you yield the floor?
520
00:26:59,849 --> 00:27:01,373
Absolutely. I'm almost done.
521
00:27:01,451 --> 00:27:03,976
So, in conclusion,
I just want to say...
522
00:27:04,053 --> 00:27:05,384
that I am so excited
about the day...
523
00:27:05,455 --> 00:27:07,582
that I get to march up
those grand Capitol steps...
524
00:27:07,657 --> 00:27:11,320
and drop
that very bill in the...
525
00:27:11,394 --> 00:27:13,021
What's it called?
526
00:27:13,096 --> 00:27:16,065
It's like a shiny,
mahogany box thing?
527
00:27:16,132 --> 00:27:17,258
The hopper.
528
00:27:17,333 --> 00:27:20,200
Exactly! The hopper!
How could I forget?
529
00:27:20,269 --> 00:27:22,635
It's like a bunny.
Perfect for animal testing.
530
00:27:22,705 --> 00:27:24,605
And I want
to let everybody know...
531
00:27:24,674 --> 00:27:27,006
that I'm having
a post-hopper tapas party.
532
00:27:27,076 --> 00:27:30,136
I'm making sangria.
It's really yummy.
533
00:27:30,213 --> 00:27:33,341
My, my, how very interesting
that all sounds.
534
00:27:33,416 --> 00:27:35,577
It'll be fun.
535
00:27:35,651 --> 00:27:37,380
However, the next time
you consider...
536
00:27:37,453 --> 00:27:42,220
attending a hearing
over which I preside... don't!
537
00:27:45,728 --> 00:27:47,389
Committee is called to order.
538
00:27:47,463 --> 00:27:48,725
OK.
539
00:27:48,798 --> 00:27:50,891
Welcome to the special meeting
of the Committee...
540
00:27:50,967 --> 00:27:53,731
of Energy and Commerce.
For the record...
541
00:27:53,803 --> 00:27:55,634
would the secretary
please make note that...
542
00:27:57,206 --> 00:27:59,231
Welcome to the Wellington,
ma'am.
543
00:28:05,548 --> 00:28:07,812
Seventeen-B?
544
00:28:09,986 --> 00:28:12,454
You have a package.
545
00:28:14,190 --> 00:28:17,717
Inside that box are the most
perfect wedding shoes ever.
546
00:28:17,794 --> 00:28:19,421
Both visually stunning
and cleated.
547
00:28:19,495 --> 00:28:20,757
And I won't be able
to wear them...
548
00:28:20,830 --> 00:28:22,593
since I obviously
won't make the date...
549
00:28:22,665 --> 00:28:24,223
for Emmett's fantasy
baseball wedding...
550
00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:25,699
given that I don't have
a chance of getting...
551
00:28:25,768 --> 00:28:28,100
those important congresspeople
to co-sponsor my bill...
552
00:28:28,171 --> 00:28:31,402
which I need to get a hearing
to stop animal testing...
553
00:28:31,474 --> 00:28:32,998
in order to reunite Bruiser
with his mother...
554
00:28:33,076 --> 00:28:34,703
in order to have them
at my wedding...
555
00:28:34,777 --> 00:28:35,937
in which
I was going to wear...
556
00:28:36,012 --> 00:28:38,606
the most perfect
wedding shoes ever...
557
00:28:38,681 --> 00:28:41,149
right inside that box.
558
00:28:41,217 --> 00:28:45,244
They never covered this
in the handbook.
559
00:28:50,259 --> 00:28:53,524
They're something, all right.
560
00:28:55,331 --> 00:28:56,662
You think?
561
00:28:57,900 --> 00:28:59,527
Oh, I'm sorry.
562
00:29:02,738 --> 00:29:05,036
Elle Woods,
legislative aide...
563
00:29:05,108 --> 00:29:07,633
to Congresswoman Rudd,
Massachusetts.
564
00:29:07,710 --> 00:29:10,702
Sid Post. Doorman.
565
00:29:10,780 --> 00:29:13,681
That door.
566
00:29:13,749 --> 00:29:16,877
All day I've felt like white,
open-toed shoes after Labor Day.
567
00:29:16,953 --> 00:29:19,114
I hate that feeling.
568
00:29:19,188 --> 00:29:22,089
Whatever that means.
569
00:29:22,158 --> 00:29:26,754
I better get going.
If I'm going to pass a law...
570
00:29:26,829 --> 00:29:28,990
I have to work up
some plan of attack...
571
00:29:29,065 --> 00:29:33,525
with the Committee
of En and Ron or whatever.
572
00:29:33,603 --> 00:29:35,662
Bye, Sid.
573
00:29:35,738 --> 00:29:39,367
- Comm.
- What'd you say?
574
00:29:39,442 --> 00:29:43,208
It's called the Committee
of Energy and Commerce.
575
00:29:43,279 --> 00:29:47,306
Oh, yeah. Right. Thanks.
576
00:29:56,692 --> 00:29:58,523
This is really
important to me, Grace.
577
00:29:58,594 --> 00:30:00,391
They wouldn't cover
my nana's anti-itch cream...
578
00:30:00,463 --> 00:30:03,159
which means she only has
one free hand for bingo.
579
00:30:03,232 --> 00:30:06,065
- Lf I could get a hearing--
- Where's your bill, Reena?
580
00:30:06,135 --> 00:30:08,365
The staff lawyers couldn't
draft it for six weeks...
581
00:30:08,437 --> 00:30:10,302
but if you could talk to
the congressman's aide...
582
00:30:10,373 --> 00:30:12,136
I could get on the agenda.
583
00:30:12,208 --> 00:30:14,438
We pushed
prescription drugs last term.
584
00:30:14,510 --> 00:30:17,536
I have a lot of issues
that come first.
585
00:30:17,613 --> 00:30:21,777
Reena, if Grace finds herself
otherwise prioritized...
586
00:30:21,851 --> 00:30:23,910
maybe you could talk
to this aide yourself.
587
00:30:23,986 --> 00:30:26,580
Or better yet,
directly to the congressman.
588
00:30:26,656 --> 00:30:30,717
Don't you have something
to alphabetize?
589
00:30:30,793 --> 00:30:34,160
In fact,
now that I think about it...
590
00:30:34,230 --> 00:30:36,562
with Reena's clear passion
for the project...
591
00:30:36,632 --> 00:30:38,293
who better to
write this bill than Reena?
592
00:30:38,367 --> 00:30:39,732
Me?
593
00:30:39,802 --> 00:30:41,167
It's like I always say--
594
00:30:41,237 --> 00:30:43,933
Why let someone else do for you
what you can do for yourself?
595
00:30:44,006 --> 00:30:45,803
Except in the case
of eyebrow maintenance.
596
00:30:45,875 --> 00:30:47,934
We always say follow protocol.
597
00:30:48,010 --> 00:30:49,409
It's worked
for the past 200 years...
598
00:30:49,478 --> 00:30:51,446
OK, Miss Snap Cup?
599
00:30:51,514 --> 00:30:55,780
Stick it out with the lawyers.
They'll get to you eventually.
600
00:30:55,851 --> 00:30:58,786
This is the new
congressmember roster.
601
00:31:04,694 --> 00:31:05,956
Just a dollar.
602
00:31:06,028 --> 00:31:07,825
Don't you believe
in helping a guy out?
603
00:31:07,897 --> 00:31:09,159
What I do believe in, sir...
604
00:31:09,232 --> 00:31:11,325
is an honest day's work
for an honest day's pay.
605
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:12,924
Not rewards for idleness.
606
00:31:13,002 --> 00:31:14,594
- 50 cents?
- Leave me!
607
00:31:14,670 --> 00:31:16,695
- Just a quarter.
- Go bother someone else!
608
00:31:21,143 --> 00:31:23,941
People here
have no common courtesy.
609
00:31:24,013 --> 00:31:26,504
Want to get a hearing
for your bill?
610
00:31:26,582 --> 00:31:29,608
Get Congresswoman Hauser.
She needs a political makeover.
611
00:31:29,685 --> 00:31:32,119
Sidney?
612
00:31:32,188 --> 00:31:34,520
Who needs a what?
613
00:31:34,590 --> 00:31:38,686
Hauser.
Tough redhead on En and Comm.
614
00:31:38,761 --> 00:31:42,026
If she can put her name
on something warm and fuzzy...
615
00:31:42,098 --> 00:31:47,331
something like puppies,
that could do the trick.
616
00:31:47,403 --> 00:31:50,395
Really? What if I showed
Hauser the photos...
617
00:31:50,473 --> 00:31:52,031
of what they're doing
to these animals?
618
00:31:52,108 --> 00:31:57,171
That'd work...
with someone with a heart.
619
00:31:57,246 --> 00:32:00,613
Hauser responds to facts,
figures, and demographics.
620
00:32:00,683 --> 00:32:02,708
You gotta do your homework.
621
00:32:02,785 --> 00:32:05,049
How did you learn all this?
622
00:32:05,121 --> 00:32:06,918
I have been stationed
on the forefront...
623
00:32:06,989 --> 00:32:09,583
of all major political
and social scandals...
624
00:32:09,659 --> 00:32:11,718
for the past 30 years.
625
00:32:11,794 --> 00:32:13,853
You worked in the White House?
626
00:32:13,929 --> 00:32:16,796
No, at the Wellington.
627
00:32:16,866 --> 00:32:19,232
After Hauser,
you'll need Stanford Marks...
628
00:32:19,302 --> 00:32:21,634
Alabama Republican.
A real hard-ass.
629
00:32:21,704 --> 00:32:23,069
Sidney, you are,
without a doubt...
630
00:32:23,139 --> 00:32:26,108
the most useful person
I've met in Washington.
631
00:33:04,513 --> 00:33:06,208
Hauser's margin
in the last election?
632
00:33:06,282 --> 00:33:07,579
Four points. 52-48.
633
00:33:07,650 --> 00:33:08,776
Hauser's chief?
634
00:33:08,851 --> 00:33:11,581
Hall, Ted.
34, moderate, tough.
635
00:33:11,654 --> 00:33:14,521
- Marks' aide?
- Murphy. Conservative, tougher.
636
00:33:14,590 --> 00:33:17,650
- I think you're ready.
- Thank you, Sid.
637
00:33:19,028 --> 00:33:21,861
For shizzle... my ezzle.
638
00:33:27,036 --> 00:33:29,436
I borrowed this.
639
00:33:36,412 --> 00:33:38,312
Excuse me!
640
00:33:38,381 --> 00:33:39,973
Given the historical
tendencies...
641
00:33:40,049 --> 00:33:41,414
of the congresswoman's
voting pool...
642
00:33:41,484 --> 00:33:44,351
animal testing is the very issue
your platform needs.
643
00:33:44,420 --> 00:33:46,513
Which brings me to my
demographic breakdown target.
644
00:33:46,589 --> 00:33:49,649
Which brings us to the end
of our time, but good stuff.
645
00:33:49,725 --> 00:33:50,953
I'll bat it around
with my colleagues.
646
00:33:51,026 --> 00:33:52,721
I'm not done
with my presentation.
647
00:33:52,795 --> 00:33:54,262
- Is Friday good?
- Absolutely.
648
00:33:54,330 --> 00:33:58,266
The second one in November,
and the line starts down there.
649
00:33:58,334 --> 00:34:01,201
But wait!
I won't be here in November.
650
00:34:01,270 --> 00:34:02,703
I'm getting married.
651
00:34:03,939 --> 00:34:05,668
If you insist Congressman Marks
is unavailable...
652
00:34:05,741 --> 00:34:06,867
perhaps you could look at...
653
00:34:06,942 --> 00:34:09,308
my alternative testing
economics incentive chart.
654
00:34:11,580 --> 00:34:13,138
But it's pop-up.
655
00:34:14,717 --> 00:34:18,118
I will read this homeowners
legislation this weekend.
656
00:34:18,187 --> 00:34:20,485
Five more minutes and
I'm due in committee. Reena.
657
00:34:20,556 --> 00:34:21,716
Well--
658
00:34:21,791 --> 00:34:24,021
Reena's prescription drugs
for the elderly amendment--
659
00:34:24,093 --> 00:34:25,583
rejected during mark-up session.
660
00:34:25,661 --> 00:34:26,958
Sorry, Nana.
661
00:34:27,029 --> 00:34:30,430
- Where are we with the animals?
- Still not on the calendar.
662
00:34:30,499 --> 00:34:32,967
So we're nowhere.
Grace, help Elle with this.
663
00:34:33,035 --> 00:34:36,266
Let's get going.
I'll see you all later.
664
00:34:36,338 --> 00:34:38,738
Grace...
665
00:34:38,808 --> 00:34:41,276
I think I can get a meeting
with Hauser's aide.
666
00:34:41,343 --> 00:34:43,538
Please.
You could have 100 meetings...
667
00:34:43,612 --> 00:34:45,045
and it still wouldn't matter.
668
00:34:45,114 --> 00:34:46,843
This is Washington politics...
669
00:34:46,916 --> 00:34:49,282
not warm fuzzies
and kissing booths.
670
00:34:49,351 --> 00:34:51,683
It takes savvy
and street smarts.
671
00:34:51,754 --> 00:34:54,985
I've seen thousands of
polite, idealistic girls...
672
00:34:55,057 --> 00:34:57,924
just like you traipse
up and down this Hill...
673
00:34:57,993 --> 00:35:01,861
and go home empty-handed
with blisters on their feet.
674
00:35:01,931 --> 00:35:05,332
Thank you, Grace.
675
00:35:05,401 --> 00:35:08,734
You actually reminded me
of something really important.
676
00:35:08,804 --> 00:35:11,272
I came here
to give my dog a voice...
677
00:35:11,340 --> 00:35:13,672
and I'd forgotten about my own.
678
00:35:13,742 --> 00:35:16,836
So you can do it
the Washington way.
679
00:35:16,912 --> 00:35:21,474
But I'm going to do it
the Elle Woods way.
680
00:35:21,550 --> 00:35:21,650
Time to get serious.
681
00:35:21,650 --> 00:35:23,083
Time to get serious.
682
00:35:23,152 --> 00:35:25,780
Subject--Congresswoman
Libby Hauser.
683
00:35:25,855 --> 00:35:27,254
Came of age in Post-War boom...
684
00:35:27,323 --> 00:35:30,724
typified by 1951
Charles Jourdan stiletto heel.
685
00:35:30,793 --> 00:35:33,523
Moving up to the Texan's head,
which is red...
686
00:35:33,596 --> 00:35:36,429
suspect chemical assistance.
Must pursue.
687
00:35:36,499 --> 00:35:38,057
Hit me, Post.
688
00:35:38,133 --> 00:35:40,693
118 salons within
a 10-mile radius...
689
00:35:40,769 --> 00:35:42,930
broken down
by color expertise...
690
00:35:43,005 --> 00:35:48,375
and philosophical approach
to hair maintenance and style.
691
00:35:48,444 --> 00:35:51,413
I didn't know you could have
a philosophy of hair.
692
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:52,777
Oh, yeah.
693
00:35:52,848 --> 00:35:55,146
Maybe that's where I went wrong.
694
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:57,913
Go for Woods.
695
00:35:57,987 --> 00:35:59,750
It's just as you suspected.
696
00:35:59,822 --> 00:36:01,949
She's at a moderate
conservative salon...
697
00:36:02,024 --> 00:36:04,458
founded on
the principles of Vidal.
698
00:36:04,527 --> 00:36:07,519
In fact, it was one
of our case studies...
699
00:36:07,596 --> 00:36:09,757
last year at Hair University.
700
00:36:09,832 --> 00:36:12,062
That was right
before they flunked me.
701
00:36:12,134 --> 00:36:14,432
Paulette, they weren't ready
for your vision.
702
00:36:14,503 --> 00:36:17,131
I know you'll make
your mark hair-wise.
703
00:36:18,307 --> 00:36:19,774
Sorry.
704
00:36:19,842 --> 00:36:22,208
- You got a pen?
- Yes.
705
00:36:22,278 --> 00:36:24,473
It's at Constitution and 12th.
706
00:36:24,547 --> 00:36:27,107
The Salon Bontempo.
707
00:36:30,486 --> 00:36:32,647
Don't you just love a salon day?
708
00:36:35,558 --> 00:36:39,119
Yes, so peaceful and quiet.
709
00:36:39,194 --> 00:36:41,492
Makes it so much easier
to talk that way.
710
00:36:41,564 --> 00:36:43,122
They have rules about that here.
711
00:36:43,198 --> 00:36:45,826
I know. That's why
I called to make sure...
712
00:36:45,901 --> 00:36:47,766
they used PETA-approved
hair care products.
713
00:36:47,836 --> 00:36:49,997
When you think about what
they do to those animals--
714
00:36:50,072 --> 00:36:52,131
Which is why
I don't think about it.
715
00:36:52,207 --> 00:36:53,834
Does the trick.
716
00:36:57,780 --> 00:36:59,145
Excellent bobby pin handling.
717
00:36:59,214 --> 00:37:02,206
Thank you, Frederic.
Looks great.
718
00:37:04,653 --> 00:37:06,450
Isn't it
so comforting to see...
719
00:37:06,522 --> 00:37:08,513
they use eco-friendly
foil technology here?
720
00:37:08,591 --> 00:37:11,185
Every planet needs a friend,
that's what I always say.
721
00:37:11,260 --> 00:37:14,093
If I wanted to talk about
the emotional life of a rock...
722
00:37:14,163 --> 00:37:16,996
you'd know it by now.
723
00:37:17,066 --> 00:37:19,500
Until this day,
I'd held the highest opinion...
724
00:37:19,568 --> 00:37:22,264
of redheads as a fellow
hair minority group.
725
00:37:22,338 --> 00:37:24,499
I heard quite enough
of your politics...
726
00:37:24,573 --> 00:37:26,700
at the committee meeting,
thank you very much.
727
00:37:44,226 --> 00:37:47,684
When was the last time you wore
the yellow tea rose?
728
00:37:55,170 --> 00:37:57,434
I'm sorry?
What did you just--
729
00:37:57,506 --> 00:37:59,940
When was the last time
you wore your yellow tea rose?
730
00:38:00,009 --> 00:38:02,239
On the night of my initiation.
731
00:38:02,311 --> 00:38:04,506
Wasn't the passing of the secret
scented eternal flame...
732
00:38:04,580 --> 00:38:07,174
of the goddess Delta Nu
not the most moving experience?
733
00:38:07,249 --> 00:38:09,274
Especially the part
where we sipped...
734
00:38:09,351 --> 00:38:12,013
from the secret
pink chalice of sisterhood!
735
00:38:12,087 --> 00:38:13,816
Yes!
736
00:38:18,193 --> 00:38:20,354
Delta who?
737
00:38:20,429 --> 00:38:22,590
Delta Nu!
738
00:38:22,665 --> 00:38:25,896
Delta-Delta boo-gah-loo
739
00:38:25,968 --> 00:38:28,596
Nu Nu Delta
740
00:38:28,671 --> 00:38:30,002
Theta, Beta
741
00:38:30,072 --> 00:38:31,471
Lambda, Mu
742
00:38:31,540 --> 00:38:35,135
Ooh-aah, Delta Nu!
743
00:38:36,679 --> 00:38:39,842
Libby Hauser, Texas.
Planning a wedding?
744
00:38:39,915 --> 00:38:42,816
That "I do" updo
looks like heaven on you.
745
00:38:42,885 --> 00:38:44,045
Thank you.
746
00:38:44,119 --> 00:38:46,644
Who is he?
Zeta Lambda Nu, I hope.
747
00:38:46,722 --> 00:38:48,815
Actually, I'm marrying
outside the Greek system...
748
00:38:48,891 --> 00:38:50,620
but he's totally letter-worthy.
749
00:38:50,693 --> 00:38:55,130
But how is D.C. Elle-worthy?
750
00:38:55,197 --> 00:38:57,722
I'm here to speak for those
who can't speak for themselves.
751
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,768
How interesting.
752
00:38:59,835 --> 00:39:02,133
It's more than interesting.
It's practical.
753
00:39:02,204 --> 00:39:04,570
Strictly a numbers game
as far as you're concerned.
754
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:10,237
125,468--Number of people in
your district with dog licenses.
755
00:39:10,312 --> 00:39:14,248
12,762--The number of
unemployed scientists...
756
00:39:14,316 --> 00:39:17,251
with the skills to develop
alternatives to animal testing.
757
00:39:17,319 --> 00:39:21,983
And finally, 6285--the ID number
of my dog's captive mother.
758
00:39:22,057 --> 00:39:25,185
I'm not sure
I followed all that...
759
00:39:25,260 --> 00:39:26,750
but you got my attention.
760
00:39:26,829 --> 00:39:28,421
If there's one thing
I know how to do...
761
00:39:28,497 --> 00:39:30,590
it's rinse and repeat.
Shall we?
762
00:39:32,568 --> 00:39:33,728
Excuse me,
do you happen to have a--
763
00:39:33,802 --> 00:39:35,793
- Get lost!
- Excuse me, sir!
764
00:39:35,871 --> 00:39:39,204
- Do you have a--
- No, I'm busy.
765
00:39:39,274 --> 00:39:41,208
Sir, could I use a section
of your newspaper?
766
00:39:41,276 --> 00:39:43,335
We're late for
your doggie spa appointment.
767
00:39:48,016 --> 00:39:50,507
- Here you go.
- Thank you, young lady.
768
00:39:50,586 --> 00:39:52,645
No problem. What kind
of world would this be...
769
00:39:52,721 --> 00:39:55,189
if we didn't help each other out
every once in a while?
770
00:39:55,257 --> 00:39:57,725
Have a good day.
771
00:39:57,793 --> 00:39:59,454
What do you want, Bruiser?
772
00:40:05,300 --> 00:40:06,665
Bruiser, honey, come on.
773
00:40:15,377 --> 00:40:16,571
We have to go. We're late.
774
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,573
We have to get to
the doggie spa, remember?
775
00:40:20,649 --> 00:40:24,085
Will it be Swedish
or shiatsu massage today?
776
00:40:24,153 --> 00:40:26,121
Come on.
777
00:40:29,858 --> 00:40:32,349
Come on. We gotta get you
to the puppy pretty parlor.
778
00:40:33,996 --> 00:40:36,521
Redhead, down.
779
00:40:36,598 --> 00:40:38,657
Up next is Stanford Marks...
780
00:40:38,734 --> 00:40:41,328
Southern conservative,
NRA spokesman.
781
00:40:41,403 --> 00:40:43,462
How about tulips?
782
00:40:43,539 --> 00:40:47,305
No, no, the calla lily
is this year's tulip.
783
00:40:47,376 --> 00:40:50,243
- For weddings?
- It's all about the calla.
784
00:40:50,312 --> 00:40:52,337
What would I do without you?
785
00:40:52,414 --> 00:40:54,780
I couldn't do anything
without you, Sid.
786
00:40:55,884 --> 00:40:57,579
You're going to get
this bill through, Elle.
787
00:40:57,653 --> 00:41:01,749
An honest voice
is louder than a crowd's.
788
00:41:01,824 --> 00:41:03,883
Just trust your voice.
789
00:41:07,863 --> 00:41:12,630
Bruiser? Oh, my God.
I'll be right back.
790
00:41:12,701 --> 00:41:12,835
Pilates for Poodles?
That's Tuesday at 2:30.
791
00:41:12,835 --> 00:41:15,702
Pilates for Poodles?
That's Tuesday at 2:30.
792
00:41:17,539 --> 00:41:19,063
- The page said it was urgent!
- They said it was urgent.
793
00:41:19,141 --> 00:41:21,006
- Please tell me he's OK.
- What's wrong with Leslie?
794
00:41:21,076 --> 00:41:22,873
We have it under control now...
795
00:41:22,945 --> 00:41:24,913
but your Rottweiler
has been humping...
796
00:41:24,980 --> 00:41:27,710
your little dog,
and vice versa.
797
00:41:27,783 --> 00:41:30,445
Your Chihuahua's quite
the little leaper, young lady.
798
00:41:30,519 --> 00:41:32,487
Takes a running start.
799
00:41:32,554 --> 00:41:35,921
Hell, what can I say?
My Rottweiler's a stallion.
800
00:41:35,991 --> 00:41:39,154
In our household, we fully
support a healthy curiosity.
801
00:41:39,228 --> 00:41:43,995
Testosterone is natural.
Wait. Did you say stallion?
802
00:41:44,066 --> 00:41:46,057
Wait a minute. Your dog...
803
00:41:46,134 --> 00:41:48,227
the one wearing that ridiculous
pink skirt in the park?
804
00:41:48,303 --> 00:41:50,396
Why would she have testosterone?
805
00:41:50,472 --> 00:41:52,167
That wasn't a skirt,
it was a skort.
806
00:41:52,241 --> 00:41:54,038
- Men wear skorts.
- Uh-huh.
807
00:41:54,109 --> 00:41:55,804
What the heck is a skort?
808
00:41:55,878 --> 00:41:57,812
And what does a man wearing one
got to do with it?
809
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:04,513
All right! Leslie is a Les.
The Rottweiler is a guy...
810
00:42:04,586 --> 00:42:10,024
and Bruiser is a male dog
who enjoys wearing pastel.
811
00:42:10,092 --> 00:42:13,220
The canines are both male.
812
00:42:18,634 --> 00:42:22,035
Your dogs are gay.
813
00:42:32,180 --> 00:42:35,513
All the signs were there.
I just didn't see them.
814
00:42:35,584 --> 00:42:37,814
Most dogs
like to chew your shoes...
815
00:42:37,886 --> 00:42:41,287
and Bruiser liked to wear mine.
816
00:42:41,356 --> 00:42:44,587
I just thought
he liked the height.
817
00:42:44,660 --> 00:42:45,888
You just want
what's best for them.
818
00:42:45,961 --> 00:42:47,394
Doesn't matter
if they're the smartest...
819
00:42:47,462 --> 00:42:50,260
or the strongest
or the best diggers.
820
00:42:50,332 --> 00:42:53,392
As long as they're happy.
821
00:42:53,468 --> 00:42:56,335
Why me? Why my dog?
822
00:42:56,405 --> 00:42:59,169
I told Doris not
to buy it in Dupont Circle.
823
00:42:59,241 --> 00:43:03,371
That damn homosexual
puppy boutique.
824
00:43:03,445 --> 00:43:06,414
Stanford Marks, by the way.
You can call me Stan.
825
00:43:06,481 --> 00:43:08,278
Elle Woods.
Very nice to meet you.
826
00:43:08,350 --> 00:43:10,716
You're the girl with
the perfumed poo baggies.
827
00:43:10,786 --> 00:43:13,880
I'm the woman with
the scented waste receptacles.
828
00:43:13,956 --> 00:43:17,517
Wait!
Congressman Stanford Marks?
829
00:43:17,592 --> 00:43:18,923
As in the Southern
conservative...
830
00:43:18,994 --> 00:43:21,394
NRA spokesman Alabama
Republican Stanford Marks?
831
00:43:21,463 --> 00:43:22,760
One and the same.
832
00:43:22,831 --> 00:43:24,093
It's a pleasure
to make your acquaintance.
833
00:43:24,166 --> 00:43:27,294
No, Congressman,
the pleasure is all mine.
834
00:43:27,369 --> 00:43:29,929
- Well...
- Believe me.
835
00:43:30,005 --> 00:43:32,940
Here's to getting things
done the Washington way.
836
00:43:33,008 --> 00:43:35,340
Your chief of staff
has just gotten herself...
837
00:43:35,410 --> 00:43:38,675
a meeting with--wait for it--
Chairman Stan Marks...
838
00:43:38,747 --> 00:43:40,738
in just four short weeks.
839
00:43:40,816 --> 00:43:43,683
- Congratulations, Grace.
- Yes!
840
00:43:45,454 --> 00:43:49,049
Oh, yes.
OK, who wants to bet...
841
00:43:49,124 --> 00:43:50,955
over-under
on Ms. Woods departure?
842
00:43:51,026 --> 00:43:52,584
Right now it's at six days.
843
00:43:52,661 --> 00:43:53,328
- Reena?
- No, thanks.
844
00:43:53,328 --> 00:43:54,625
- Reena?
- No, thanks.
845
00:43:54,696 --> 00:43:56,323
Come on. Anybody?
846
00:43:56,398 --> 00:43:57,695
Who wants to take
over six days?
847
00:43:57,766 --> 00:43:59,393
I'll take it, Grace.
848
00:43:59,468 --> 00:44:01,663
I've been so busy.
I'm sorry I'm late.
849
00:44:01,737 --> 00:44:03,728
Reena, could you be a pal
and just tell me...
850
00:44:03,805 --> 00:44:05,796
what I'm doing
a week from tomorrow?
851
00:44:05,874 --> 00:44:08,069
By the way, that outfit
looks fantastic on you.
852
00:44:08,143 --> 00:44:09,974
It really brings out
the color in your eyes.
853
00:44:10,045 --> 00:44:11,979
Thanks.
854
00:44:12,047 --> 00:44:14,675
It's on my "I brake for
sample sales" bookmark.
855
00:44:16,618 --> 00:44:20,179
9:00--sample custom color
wedding cake frosting.
856
00:44:20,255 --> 00:44:22,382
10:00--
rehearse hearing speech.
857
00:44:22,457 --> 00:44:24,152
11:00--
Commerce committee hearing.
858
00:44:24,226 --> 00:44:26,456
12:00--
exfoliating treatment--
859
00:44:26,528 --> 00:44:29,292
Go back to that one at 11:00.
860
00:44:29,364 --> 00:44:32,822
11:00--
Commerce committee hearing.
861
00:44:32,901 --> 00:44:34,300
That's what it says.
862
00:44:34,369 --> 00:44:35,996
I'm going to be appearing
before ranking member...
863
00:44:36,071 --> 00:44:37,663
Libby Hauser,
Chairman Stanford Marks...
864
00:44:37,739 --> 00:44:39,366
and the entire Committee
of En and Comm.
865
00:44:39,441 --> 00:44:42,171
A hop, skip, and a jump
away from a floor vote.
866
00:44:42,244 --> 00:44:43,836
Nice try, but you
have to get a bill...
867
00:44:43,912 --> 00:44:45,311
before you have a hearing.
868
00:44:45,380 --> 00:44:47,007
Like this one?
869
00:44:47,082 --> 00:44:49,107
It's like I was saying
to the congresswoman...
870
00:44:49,184 --> 00:44:50,981
the other day over
caramel macchiatos.
871
00:44:51,053 --> 00:44:53,317
"Is bill writing
super fun or what?"
872
00:44:53,388 --> 00:44:55,185
I think so.
873
00:44:55,257 --> 00:44:58,454
Where is that Elle Woods?
874
00:44:58,527 --> 00:45:01,496
Oh, my God.
875
00:45:01,563 --> 00:45:04,532
- Libby just told me the news.
- She did?
876
00:45:04,599 --> 00:45:05,930
Never underestimate a woman...
877
00:45:06,001 --> 00:45:07,866
with a French manicure
and a Harvard law degree.
878
00:45:07,936 --> 00:45:09,904
Thank you, Victoria.
That's very sweet of you...
879
00:45:09,971 --> 00:45:12,906
but I couldn't have done it
without your inspiration.
880
00:45:12,974 --> 00:45:15,772
I'm honored.
This girl is special.
881
00:45:15,844 --> 00:45:18,608
Actually, I didn't do it alone.
882
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:21,979
The entire team helped me.
It was really a group effort.
883
00:45:22,050 --> 00:45:24,575
Good work, guys.
Really good work.
884
00:45:24,653 --> 00:45:26,746
- You.
- Thanks.
885
00:45:27,823 --> 00:45:30,383
Thank you, Reena.
You're a sweetheart.
886
00:45:30,459 --> 00:45:33,724
And I guess I will see you
at the hopper.
887
00:46:09,364 --> 00:46:11,298
Ask not what your best friend
can do for man...
888
00:46:11,366 --> 00:46:14,096
but what you can do
for man's best friend.
889
00:46:19,441 --> 00:46:20,738
The Committee
on Energy and Commerce...
890
00:46:20,809 --> 00:46:22,538
will now come to order.
891
00:46:22,611 --> 00:46:26,513
HR 2562,
aka Bruiser's Bill--
892
00:46:26,581 --> 00:46:28,981
Representative
Victoria Rudd, sponsor...
893
00:46:29,050 --> 00:46:30,984
proposing a ban
on animal testing...
894
00:46:31,052 --> 00:46:33,145
in the cosmetics industry.
895
00:46:33,221 --> 00:46:34,654
I'd like to welcome
you all today as we begin...
896
00:46:34,723 --> 00:46:36,850
consideration of
this very important issue.
897
00:46:36,925 --> 00:46:39,723
This week, you will hear
testimony from both sides...
898
00:46:39,794 --> 00:46:44,197
and I ask that you keep
your ears and your minds open.
899
00:46:44,266 --> 00:46:46,234
This is my first
congressional hearing.
900
00:46:46,301 --> 00:46:48,030
Can you believe it?
901
00:46:48,103 --> 00:46:49,468
And so I come to you today
as a citizen...
902
00:46:49,538 --> 00:46:51,870
and a scientist with
the National Institute of Health
903
00:46:51,940 --> 00:46:54,431
for 25 years,
during which time...
904
00:46:54,509 --> 00:46:56,977
it's become increasingly clear
that these supposed alternatives
905
00:46:57,045 --> 00:47:00,276
to animal testing
aren't alternatives at all.
906
00:47:00,348 --> 00:47:04,284
I took this office to represent
my two-legged constituents.
907
00:47:04,352 --> 00:47:08,288
Recently, I saw an item in
a pet store with the label...
908
00:47:08,356 --> 00:47:11,052
"This product
is tested on humans."
909
00:47:11,126 --> 00:47:13,026
That's a problem
worth discussing.
910
00:47:17,432 --> 00:47:18,865
All the bleeding hearts...
911
00:47:18,934 --> 00:47:20,595
will try to distract us
from the facts...
912
00:47:20,669 --> 00:47:23,729
with their saccharine talk
of wagging tails...
913
00:47:23,805 --> 00:47:27,400
cold noses, and other
sentimental mumbo jumbo.
914
00:47:27,475 --> 00:47:30,501
Consider this--where we see
softness of heart...
915
00:47:30,579 --> 00:47:33,207
we often see softness of mind.
916
00:47:33,281 --> 00:47:36,045
And so to move on such a bill
at this juncture in time...
917
00:47:36,117 --> 00:47:38,449
would wreak havoc
on already unstable...
918
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:41,387
local economies
across the country.
919
00:47:41,456 --> 00:47:44,050
Now, that's a problem
worth discussing.
920
00:47:46,228 --> 00:47:47,889
You know
I'd do anything for you...
921
00:47:47,963 --> 00:47:49,897
but I got to tell you,
that is one tough room.
922
00:47:49,965 --> 00:47:52,126
- Better be prepared tomorrow.
- All right.
923
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:54,634
Excuse me, ladies.
Good evening.
924
00:47:54,703 --> 00:47:58,195
I know you've had
a bad day in court before.
925
00:47:58,273 --> 00:47:59,501
It's the same thing.
926
00:47:59,574 --> 00:48:01,633
They make their case,
we make ours.
927
00:48:01,710 --> 00:48:03,143
Yes, but that was bad.
928
00:48:03,211 --> 00:48:06,612
They're mostly posturing for
their constituents back home.
929
00:48:06,681 --> 00:48:08,478
I think we have the votes
in committee...
930
00:48:08,550 --> 00:48:10,279
even without your testimony.
931
00:48:10,352 --> 00:48:14,118
But they have scientists
and economists and facts.
932
00:48:14,189 --> 00:48:17,352
So do we.
Elle, listen to me.
933
00:48:17,425 --> 00:48:20,758
Go home.
Have an early evening.
934
00:48:20,829 --> 00:48:22,854
Sorry.
935
00:48:22,931 --> 00:48:25,832
Victoria Rudd. Yes.
936
00:48:25,900 --> 00:48:28,698
Hang on one minute, will you?
937
00:48:28,770 --> 00:48:31,603
Go home. Try to relax.
938
00:48:31,673 --> 00:48:35,541
And don't think like them.
Think like you.
939
00:48:35,610 --> 00:48:37,976
OK. Thanks.
940
00:48:38,046 --> 00:48:40,139
- Good night.
- Good night.
941
00:48:42,384 --> 00:48:43,976
Bob, how are you?
942
00:48:48,089 --> 00:48:50,649
I'm leaving the Capitol
right now.
943
00:48:50,725 --> 00:48:53,660
- Thanks. Nice work.
- Oh.
944
00:48:58,366 --> 00:48:59,492
Sid?
945
00:48:59,567 --> 00:49:03,025
I'm sorry about that.
This happens all the time.
946
00:49:03,104 --> 00:49:04,696
My break is almost up...
947
00:49:04,773 --> 00:49:08,368
but I wanted to get you this
before tomorrow.
948
00:49:08,443 --> 00:49:10,001
Great. Let's walk.
949
00:49:11,546 --> 00:49:13,446
Sidney, this is brilliant.
950
00:49:13,515 --> 00:49:15,574
How did you know all this?
951
00:49:15,650 --> 00:49:19,211
Hundreds of dogs walked and
thousands of plastic baggies.
952
00:49:19,287 --> 00:49:22,120
This is perfect.
This is exactly what I need.
953
00:49:23,525 --> 00:49:26,961
Well, of course
I appreciate your support.
954
00:49:27,028 --> 00:49:28,427
Why wouldn't it continue?
955
00:49:28,496 --> 00:49:31,624
I'm already on record
on that issue.
956
00:49:37,305 --> 00:49:38,897
All right.
957
00:49:38,973 --> 00:49:40,804
I'll do what I can.
958
00:49:40,875 --> 00:49:43,309
Don't push me, Bob.
959
00:49:43,378 --> 00:49:45,243
I'll do what I can.
960
00:49:45,313 --> 00:49:47,645
All right. Good night.
961
00:49:51,986 --> 00:49:55,888
- I need to call in my favor.
- I'm listening.
962
00:49:55,957 --> 00:49:59,393
I've changed my position
on Bruiser's Bill.
963
00:49:59,461 --> 00:50:02,555
A man who controls
a political machine...
964
00:50:02,630 --> 00:50:05,929
Boy, he's good.
He is really good.
965
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:07,729
I'm really glad
we're watching this.
966
00:50:07,802 --> 00:50:09,463
This is good for you.
967
00:50:09,537 --> 00:50:10,731
He promised to break me in two.
968
00:50:10,805 --> 00:50:12,170
I'm starting
to worry about...
969
00:50:12,240 --> 00:50:14,003
getting all
this wedding planning done.
970
00:50:14,075 --> 00:50:17,476
Elle, I want you to follow
my lead in Washington.
971
00:50:17,545 --> 00:50:20,605
And always make sure
Bruiser wears a sweater.
972
00:50:20,682 --> 00:50:23,981
- Is that Sean Connery?
- No, it's not.
973
00:50:24,052 --> 00:50:25,542
Powerful enough
to control congressmen...
974
00:50:25,620 --> 00:50:28,145
Seriously, honey, don't worry
about the wedding research.
975
00:50:28,223 --> 00:50:30,555
Just give 'em hell tomorrow.
976
00:50:47,108 --> 00:50:50,009
The chair now recognizes
legislative aide Elle Woods.
977
00:50:57,752 --> 00:50:58,878
Thank you, Mr. Chairman.
978
00:50:58,953 --> 00:51:00,614
There she is!
979
00:51:00,688 --> 00:51:03,122
Guys, she really did it.
980
00:51:04,392 --> 00:51:05,654
Miss Woods?
981
00:51:05,727 --> 00:51:07,456
Well, I'll be damned.
982
00:51:07,529 --> 00:51:10,123
Representative Kroft...
983
00:51:10,198 --> 00:51:12,689
that lip gloss looks absolutely
sensational on you.
984
00:51:13,735 --> 00:51:15,225
I'm sorry, what?
985
00:51:15,303 --> 00:51:17,737
It's Raspberry Macaroon
number 156.
986
00:51:17,806 --> 00:51:19,797
Company shall remain nameless,
is that correct?
987
00:51:19,874 --> 00:51:24,368
Well, yes. But how did you--
988
00:51:24,446 --> 00:51:26,141
What if I told you,
Representative Kroft...
989
00:51:26,214 --> 00:51:28,273
that you owe that
special bounce in your step...
990
00:51:28,349 --> 00:51:31,079
that only comes from finding
the perfect lipstick...
991
00:51:31,152 --> 00:51:35,145
to the pain and suffering
of innocent animals?
992
00:51:35,223 --> 00:51:36,656
What if I was to tell you...
993
00:51:36,724 --> 00:51:38,749
Congresswoman
Madeline Melanie Kroft...
994
00:51:38,827 --> 00:51:41,159
that you owe
your Raspberry Macaroon...
995
00:51:43,665 --> 00:51:46,691
to him?
996
00:51:46,768 --> 00:51:48,326
My best friend.
997
00:51:52,841 --> 00:51:54,604
Bruiser.
998
00:51:54,676 --> 00:51:57,702
How many times
has he acted on my behalf?
999
00:51:57,779 --> 00:52:00,043
Countless.
1000
00:52:00,114 --> 00:52:05,450
But today, I get the opportunity
to speak for him.
1001
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:08,455
Who do you speak for?
1002
00:52:13,795 --> 00:52:15,695
Congressman Fuchs...
1003
00:52:15,763 --> 00:52:19,460
the next time you reach for your
overnight moisturizing gloves--
1004
00:52:19,534 --> 00:52:21,195
By the way, it's nothing
to be ashamed about.
1005
00:52:21,269 --> 00:52:23,396
More men should use them.
1006
00:52:23,471 --> 00:52:27,567
Consider asking yourself what
you're willing to sacrifice...
1007
00:52:27,642 --> 00:52:30,270
in the name of
beauty and soft cuticles.
1008
00:52:30,345 --> 00:52:33,940
Are you willing to sacrifice
animal welfare?
1009
00:52:34,015 --> 00:52:36,677
Or how about
the welfare of one animal?
1010
00:52:36,751 --> 00:52:39,413
Like Jelly,
your childhood pal...
1011
00:52:39,487 --> 00:52:42,650
that striking
retriever-black lab mix.
1012
00:52:44,826 --> 00:52:48,489
You know about Jelly?
1013
00:52:48,563 --> 00:52:51,691
When all the other children
refused to play Lone Ranger...
1014
00:52:51,766 --> 00:52:53,996
who was it that was
always your Tonto?
1015
00:52:54,068 --> 00:52:56,593
Jelly Belly.
1016
00:53:07,715 --> 00:53:10,650
Mr. Chairman...
1017
00:53:10,718 --> 00:53:12,811
when you look in those
snap-worthy almond eyes...
1018
00:53:12,887 --> 00:53:14,115
of your Rottweiler Leslie...
1019
00:53:14,188 --> 00:53:16,952
does it not make your heart
glow with warmth?
1020
00:53:17,025 --> 00:53:20,119
With due respect, Ms. Woods,
I wouldn't go that far.
1021
00:53:20,194 --> 00:53:21,718
But when he learned
to differentiate...
1022
00:53:21,796 --> 00:53:23,593
between seven different
kinds of pipes...
1023
00:53:23,665 --> 00:53:25,997
and fetch each one on command,
did you not swear...
1024
00:53:26,067 --> 00:53:28,194
to protect him
with every shotgun...
1025
00:53:28,269 --> 00:53:32,399
in your charming little
ammunitions case?
1026
00:53:32,473 --> 00:53:33,804
It wouldn't come to that.
1027
00:53:33,875 --> 00:53:37,140
This is a dog
we're talking about.
1028
00:53:37,211 --> 00:53:39,406
But if you could speak
for Leslie...
1029
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:41,573
what would you say?
1030
00:53:46,220 --> 00:53:51,385
What would Leslie want you
to say for him, Mr. Chairman?
1031
00:53:54,829 --> 00:53:56,797
Stan.
1032
00:54:06,908 --> 00:54:08,068
To hell with it.
1033
00:54:09,444 --> 00:54:12,902
My Rottweiler Les is
of the homosexual orientation.
1034
00:54:13,948 --> 00:54:16,746
I've said it. I'm out.
1035
00:54:16,818 --> 00:54:19,252
My name is Stan Marks,
I'm a conservative Republican...
1036
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:21,379
NRA spokesman,
and my dog is gay.
1037
00:54:21,456 --> 00:54:23,720
And guess what?
1038
00:54:23,791 --> 00:54:26,885
I couldn't be prouder
of the little flamer!
1039
00:54:26,961 --> 00:54:29,259
I don't care
how good my hair looks...
1040
00:54:29,330 --> 00:54:31,525
slicked back with
some high-dollar pomade.
1041
00:54:31,599 --> 00:54:35,433
Just one long stare into
that sweet sissy dog's eyes...
1042
00:54:35,503 --> 00:54:40,566
and I know no cosmetic
could ever be worth it!
1043
00:54:40,642 --> 00:54:45,079
Bruiser's Bill.
1044
00:54:45,146 --> 00:54:46,875
Bruiser's Bill!
1045
00:54:49,617 --> 00:54:51,585
We did it! Bill passing!
1046
00:54:51,653 --> 00:54:54,281
Bruiser's Bill!
1047
00:54:54,355 --> 00:54:56,380
Important legislation
for our time.
1048
00:55:07,168 --> 00:55:09,432
Bruiser, good work, little guy.
1049
00:55:14,709 --> 00:55:16,438
I would like
to conclude this hearing...
1050
00:55:16,511 --> 00:55:18,342
by thanking you all
for your testimony--
1051
00:55:18,413 --> 00:55:19,778
Mr. Chairman, sir...
1052
00:55:19,847 --> 00:55:21,007
The chair recognizes...
1053
00:55:21,082 --> 00:55:22,709
the gentlewoman
from Massachusetts.
1054
00:55:22,784 --> 00:55:25,048
Mr. Chairman,
committee members...
1055
00:55:25,119 --> 00:55:28,646
I would like to thank you for
your consideration of this bill.
1056
00:55:28,723 --> 00:55:31,521
However,
after further reflection...
1057
00:55:31,592 --> 00:55:34,720
on the budgetary realities
of this fiscal year...
1058
00:55:34,796 --> 00:55:38,254
I feel I must withdraw
my support for Bruiser's Bill.
1059
00:55:38,332 --> 00:55:40,994
- What?
- I concur!
1060
00:55:53,314 --> 00:55:55,282
Everybody, calm down.
1061
00:56:04,559 --> 00:56:06,390
I'm sorry, Bruiser.
1062
00:56:08,162 --> 00:56:10,494
I'm sorry, too, Elle.
1063
00:56:10,565 --> 00:56:12,829
I know you think
I've let you down.
1064
00:56:12,900 --> 00:56:15,368
Believe me, I thought
about your reaction...
1065
00:56:15,436 --> 00:56:17,461
maybe more than I should have.
1066
00:56:19,240 --> 00:56:21,936
You were outmaneuvered...
1067
00:56:22,009 --> 00:56:23,874
by Grace.
1068
00:56:23,945 --> 00:56:25,708
Grace?
1069
00:56:25,780 --> 00:56:28,214
For the last two sessions
she's been pushing...
1070
00:56:28,282 --> 00:56:30,409
this homeowners incentives bill.
1071
00:56:30,485 --> 00:56:32,612
This morning she struck a deal.
1072
00:56:32,687 --> 00:56:36,555
I withdraw my support
for Bruiser's Bill.
1073
00:56:36,624 --> 00:56:40,253
Homeowners incentives
comes to a vote.
1074
00:56:40,328 --> 00:56:42,319
That was the price
and I paid it.
1075
00:56:42,396 --> 00:56:46,492
That's all just deals
and trades and secrets.
1076
00:56:50,204 --> 00:56:53,230
That's not what people want.
1077
00:57:01,616 --> 00:57:05,313
Elle... I'm sorry.
1078
00:57:14,095 --> 00:57:16,029
Government of the people...
1079
00:57:16,097 --> 00:57:19,464
by the people, for the people.
1080
00:57:44,458 --> 00:57:47,325
So what's your story?
1081
00:57:47,395 --> 00:57:49,886
Were you even honest?
1082
00:57:51,265 --> 00:57:53,233
I guess you were.
1083
00:57:56,871 --> 00:57:58,099
If you didn't play games...
1084
00:57:58,172 --> 00:58:01,471
then you were probably
the only one.
1085
00:58:04,145 --> 00:58:06,875
I just don't know how
you did it.
1086
00:58:06,948 --> 00:58:09,280
I don't even mean
wearing that silly hat...
1087
00:58:09,350 --> 00:58:11,284
because that was really brave.
1088
00:58:11,352 --> 00:58:13,479
But...
1089
00:58:13,554 --> 00:58:16,489
Just trusting your country.
1090
00:58:16,557 --> 00:58:19,117
Trusting this system...
1091
00:58:22,296 --> 00:58:24,560
Trusting yourself.
1092
00:58:24,632 --> 00:58:26,793
I did.
1093
00:58:41,716 --> 00:58:44,776
Go on.
It's full of warm fuzzies.
1094
00:58:44,852 --> 00:58:47,650
With extra fuzz.
1095
00:58:59,934 --> 00:59:03,062
"Elle Woods has amazing
lateral delts."
1096
00:59:03,137 --> 00:59:06,038
That was my target
muscle group of the month.
1097
00:59:06,107 --> 00:59:08,974
Snaps for Elle's lateral delts.
1098
00:59:24,759 --> 00:59:27,057
"Elle Woods inspires us."
1099
00:59:29,297 --> 00:59:31,094
We even put little hearts
over the "Is".
1100
00:59:31,165 --> 00:59:34,157
- I see that.
- It was my idea.
1101
00:59:34,235 --> 00:59:36,362
Thank you, Timothy.
1102
00:59:36,437 --> 00:59:38,905
Thank you, everybody.
This is really nice.
1103
00:59:38,973 --> 00:59:42,636
But I just don't think
I'm cut out for this.
1104
00:59:42,710 --> 00:59:43,836
Elle, we have a plan.
1105
00:59:43,911 --> 00:59:46,539
Two words for you--
Discharge petition.
1106
00:59:46,614 --> 00:59:48,411
With a couple hundred
signatures...
1107
00:59:48,482 --> 00:59:50,416
we can spring Bruiser's Bill
from committee...
1108
00:59:50,484 --> 00:59:52,714
straight to the House floor
for a vote.
1109
00:59:52,787 --> 00:59:56,154
I don't know.
That sounds really complicated.
1110
00:59:56,223 --> 00:59:57,656
You've come
farther than any of us...
1111
00:59:57,725 --> 00:59:59,852
while maintaining
your bounce and sparkle.
1112
00:59:59,927 --> 01:00:01,588
We never sparkle.
1113
01:00:01,662 --> 01:00:04,756
None of us thought one person
could make a difference...
1114
01:00:04,832 --> 01:00:06,993
until you came along.
1115
01:00:08,402 --> 01:00:12,099
If I remember correctly,
isn't that 218 signatures?
1116
01:00:12,173 --> 01:00:14,573
It's not that hard.
1117
01:00:14,642 --> 01:00:17,110
Yeah.
1118
01:00:18,412 --> 01:00:19,572
Yeah.
1119
01:00:20,748 --> 01:00:22,943
I guess I know women
with more shoes than that.
1120
01:00:23,017 --> 01:00:26,214
Wait, that's me.
1121
01:00:26,287 --> 01:00:28,187
Elle...
1122
01:00:28,255 --> 01:00:30,917
it's time to finish
what you started.
1123
01:00:34,762 --> 01:00:36,559
OK, people,
a lot on the agenda today.
1124
01:00:36,630 --> 01:00:39,565
Reenie, I'm still waiting on
those one-minute floor speeches.
1125
01:00:39,633 --> 01:00:43,626
Timothy, I need recon on that
campaign finance reform hearing.
1126
01:00:43,704 --> 01:00:46,400
Grace, status meeting
in my office right away.
1127
01:00:49,844 --> 01:00:53,336
I said now.
1128
01:00:57,318 --> 01:00:58,512
Where's my staff?
1129
01:00:58,586 --> 01:01:01,714
They quit, without notice.
1130
01:01:01,789 --> 01:01:03,848
Why?
1131
01:01:05,326 --> 01:01:08,261
Marks and Hauser
just filed a petition...
1132
01:01:08,329 --> 01:01:09,728
to discharge Bruiser's Bill.
1133
01:01:09,797 --> 01:01:12,061
I'm pretty sure
that's where your staff is...
1134
01:01:12,133 --> 01:01:14,829
led by their commander
Sorority Sue.
1135
01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:23,443
Petition to discharge HR 2652,
aka Bruiser's Bill...
1136
01:01:23,511 --> 01:01:25,479
carried with no objections.
1137
01:01:25,546 --> 01:01:29,505
The petition is filed
and available for signature.
1138
01:01:30,818 --> 01:01:33,013
Actually, we are strictly...
1139
01:01:33,087 --> 01:01:36,488
"bring your own"
on the discharge petition.
1140
01:01:43,431 --> 01:01:46,958
But it's pink... and scented.
1141
01:01:47,034 --> 01:01:50,435
Gives it something extra,
don't you think?
1142
01:01:50,504 --> 01:01:52,995
We've both signed it,
as you can see.
1143
01:01:54,241 --> 01:01:56,505
I believe we're being dismissed.
Thank you.
1144
01:01:56,577 --> 01:01:58,772
There will be others
to come and sign.
1145
01:01:58,846 --> 01:02:00,939
- Don't you like pink?
- Come on!
1146
01:02:15,930 --> 01:02:18,899
Up on your feet, people.
1147
01:02:18,966 --> 01:02:21,730
Discharge petition time.
1148
01:02:21,802 --> 01:02:23,201
Upsy-daisy.
1149
01:02:25,639 --> 01:02:28,403
We have our work
cut out for us. Let's go.
1150
01:02:30,811 --> 01:02:34,247
OK, we have two signatures.
216 to go.
1151
01:02:34,315 --> 01:02:35,805
I'll break up the country
into color codes.
1152
01:02:35,883 --> 01:02:37,817
Timothy, you're teal.
1153
01:02:37,885 --> 01:02:40,080
Reena, you're magenta.
1154
01:02:40,154 --> 01:02:42,418
And Elle is marigold.
1155
01:02:42,490 --> 01:02:43,980
And I've got
the Wellington covered.
1156
01:02:44,058 --> 01:02:45,855
37 signatures in residence.
1157
01:02:45,926 --> 01:02:48,622
Sid Post, 37.
1158
01:02:48,696 --> 01:02:51,688
Congress adjourns in 3 weeks.
We can't do this alone.
1159
01:02:51,765 --> 01:02:53,699
That's why I'm calling in
reinforcements.
1160
01:02:53,767 --> 01:02:55,029
I hope we're talking...
1161
01:02:55,102 --> 01:02:57,434
the brightest political
minds in the country.
1162
01:02:59,840 --> 01:03:01,535
We're here!
1163
01:03:07,114 --> 01:03:08,706
Oh, my God!
1164
01:03:11,185 --> 01:03:13,517
Oh, gosh, we can't wait
to see the Mall.
1165
01:03:13,587 --> 01:03:15,111
And the Statue of Liberty.
1166
01:03:15,189 --> 01:03:17,589
Everybody, these are
my Delta Nu sisters.
1167
01:03:17,658 --> 01:03:19,250
This is Margot and Serena.
1168
01:03:19,326 --> 01:03:22,887
Josh made the cruise boat
pull over in Puerto Vallarta.
1169
01:03:22,963 --> 01:03:24,294
I left L.A.
Right after landing...
1170
01:03:24,365 --> 01:03:26,993
a lateral split in
the third quarter dance break.
1171
01:03:27,067 --> 01:03:29,797
It was awesome.
I went "Yah!" and "Haah!"
1172
01:03:29,870 --> 01:03:32,361
- That's so great.
- Yeah, thanks.
1173
01:03:32,439 --> 01:03:34,964
So, is it time?
1174
01:03:35,042 --> 01:03:37,237
Oh, no, it's not time yet.
1175
01:03:41,649 --> 01:03:44,413
Hello? You're here?
1176
01:03:44,485 --> 01:03:47,477
We'll meet you in the lobby.
Let's go.
1177
01:03:50,891 --> 01:03:52,950
Everybody, this is
the final member of our team...
1178
01:03:53,027 --> 01:03:54,153
Paulette Parcelle.
1179
01:03:54,228 --> 01:03:57,197
Who's ready to discharge?
1180
01:03:57,264 --> 01:04:01,928
And proposition a bill
and... whatever.
1181
01:04:02,002 --> 01:04:04,129
Let's hit the Hill.
1182
01:04:05,372 --> 01:04:07,897
If I could have
a moment of your time--
1183
01:04:07,975 --> 01:04:10,876
You could consider something--
1184
01:04:10,945 --> 01:04:13,743
Quadrant 4, corridor 6,
have lost one.
1185
01:04:15,649 --> 01:04:18,641
Sorry. How are you?
1186
01:04:18,719 --> 01:04:19,947
If I could have a minute
of your time?
1187
01:04:20,020 --> 01:04:21,954
Reena, how are you?
1188
01:04:22,022 --> 01:04:23,512
Has anybody told you
about Bruiser's Bill?
1189
01:04:23,591 --> 01:04:25,252
Is it trivial,
Congressman Hannenfeld?
1190
01:04:25,326 --> 01:04:27,317
Animals don't have
the same reactions...
1191
01:04:27,394 --> 01:04:28,520
to drugs that humans do.
1192
01:04:28,596 --> 01:04:29,722
It's like the time...
1193
01:04:29,797 --> 01:04:31,321
my trainer's sister's
cousin's girlfriend...
1194
01:04:31,398 --> 01:04:32,922
gave her overweight Yorkie
some phen-fen...
1195
01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:34,592
because she was
a little bit fat...
1196
01:04:34,668 --> 01:04:36,067
and it gained three pounds.
1197
01:04:36,136 --> 01:04:38,570
Desired result?
I don't think so.
1198
01:04:38,639 --> 01:04:40,766
You know?
1199
01:04:42,543 --> 01:04:45,137
Oh, my dear, gifted woman...
1200
01:04:45,212 --> 01:04:46,474
you tell that Bruiser Woods...
1201
01:04:46,547 --> 01:04:49,209
he can count on
the Sunshine State.
1202
01:04:49,283 --> 01:04:51,444
Thank you, Ohio.
1203
01:05:01,161 --> 01:05:03,425
Thank you, Atlanta!
1204
01:05:03,497 --> 01:05:05,294
Who's next?
1205
01:05:05,366 --> 01:05:06,856
You're next!
1206
01:05:09,403 --> 01:05:11,837
We're gonna do it.
1207
01:05:18,045 --> 01:05:19,512
Serena...
1208
01:05:19,580 --> 01:05:22,845
why do they keep
sending us to Room 216?
1209
01:05:22,916 --> 01:05:25,885
"Intern Orientation."
1210
01:05:27,321 --> 01:05:29,414
Margot, you're a genius.
1211
01:05:29,490 --> 01:05:30,957
If this doesn't get
more signatures...
1212
01:05:31,025 --> 01:05:32,185
I don't know what will.
1213
01:05:34,628 --> 01:05:37,529
Intern class of 2003 on deck!
1214
01:05:43,671 --> 01:05:46,003
Remember, flexibility counts.
1215
01:05:49,677 --> 01:05:52,237
Ready? OK!
1216
01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:55,505
Dogs of the world unite!
1217
01:06:21,442 --> 01:06:23,103
2... 4... 6... 8!
1218
01:06:23,177 --> 01:06:25,475
Sign the petition, win a date!
1219
01:06:25,546 --> 01:06:28,447
Go Bruiser's Bill, go!
1220
01:06:31,051 --> 01:06:32,575
Well, I'm signing.
1221
01:06:34,455 --> 01:06:37,481
Yes, Bob,
I know what you're reading.
1222
01:06:37,558 --> 01:06:40,356
Are you kidding?
1223
01:06:40,427 --> 01:06:43,396
Your support has been
invaluable to me.
1224
01:06:43,464 --> 01:06:46,194
If it weren't for you,
I'd be painting my own posters.
1225
01:06:46,266 --> 01:06:49,531
I don't care
if she has two weeks left.
1226
01:06:49,603 --> 01:06:51,298
She could have two years left.
1227
01:06:51,372 --> 01:06:52,930
She won't pull this off.
1228
01:06:53,006 --> 01:06:58,444
I will not be outmaneuvered
by this silly little blonde.
1229
01:07:00,214 --> 01:07:02,739
Don't worry, Bob.
I'll get her...
1230
01:07:02,816 --> 01:07:05,011
and her little dog, too.
1231
01:07:06,553 --> 01:07:08,282
Even with
the entire Wellington...
1232
01:07:08,355 --> 01:07:10,983
and 68 life-changing haircuts
under Paulette's belt...
1233
01:07:11,058 --> 01:07:12,184
we're still not even close.
1234
01:07:12,259 --> 01:07:13,988
We got a problem here.
1235
01:07:14,061 --> 01:07:17,224
The bad news is...
1236
01:07:17,297 --> 01:07:19,265
Reena.
1237
01:07:28,242 --> 01:07:32,372
Wow. You look amazing.
1238
01:07:32,446 --> 01:07:35,381
It's just layers
and highlights...
1239
01:07:35,449 --> 01:07:37,007
and a cellulose
finishing rinse.
1240
01:07:37,084 --> 01:07:38,949
I did it.
1241
01:07:39,019 --> 01:07:41,044
Cool.
1242
01:07:41,121 --> 01:07:42,782
What is the bad news?
1243
01:07:42,856 --> 01:07:45,825
We lost Hannenfeld.
We were planning on him...
1244
01:07:45,893 --> 01:07:48,293
to bring Felsen, Parks,
and Janowitz on board.
1245
01:07:48,362 --> 01:07:50,455
What are you talking about?
I talked to Hannenfeld myself.
1246
01:07:50,531 --> 01:07:52,999
I confirmed with his aide
this morning over breakfast.
1247
01:07:53,066 --> 01:07:56,194
I don't know. Somebody must've
got to him at lunch.
1248
01:07:57,237 --> 01:07:58,670
It's Grace.
1249
01:07:58,739 --> 01:08:01,333
- Please make sure.
- I will. Two weeks?
1250
01:08:01,408 --> 01:08:03,171
I'm looking for Grace Rossiter.
1251
01:08:03,243 --> 01:08:06,007
I just want to know
if she's coming back soon.
1252
01:08:06,079 --> 01:08:08,206
Elle. Hi.
1253
01:08:08,282 --> 01:08:09,510
Oh, hi.
1254
01:08:09,583 --> 01:08:11,744
I was going to call you.
1255
01:08:11,819 --> 01:08:14,515
I was looking for Grace.
1256
01:08:14,588 --> 01:08:16,180
The discharge petition.
1257
01:08:16,256 --> 01:08:17,985
We lost Hannenfeld...
1258
01:08:18,058 --> 01:08:20,083
and I was wondering
if Grace knew anything about it.
1259
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,287
None of that
is important anymore.
1260
01:08:22,362 --> 01:08:24,762
Could I speak with you
for a moment?
1261
01:08:24,832 --> 01:08:26,663
Sure.
1262
01:08:33,907 --> 01:08:36,239
You did it, Elle. You won.
1263
01:08:36,310 --> 01:08:39,108
You can collect Bruiser's mom
anytime you like.
1264
01:08:39,179 --> 01:08:40,544
What?
1265
01:08:40,614 --> 01:08:43,412
If you promise not to be
disappointed in me again...
1266
01:08:43,484 --> 01:08:46,851
I'll tell you.
I pulled a few strings.
1267
01:08:46,920 --> 01:08:51,357
C'est Magnifique is releasing
all of their test animals.
1268
01:08:51,425 --> 01:08:52,915
All of them?
1269
01:08:52,993 --> 01:08:54,790
All of them.
And what's more...
1270
01:08:54,862 --> 01:08:56,193
they have been so impressed...
1271
01:08:56,263 --> 01:08:58,561
with how you've handled
yourself down here...
1272
01:08:58,632 --> 01:09:02,568
they want you on board as
head of their legal department.
1273
01:09:02,636 --> 01:09:04,069
It's a very generous offer.
1274
01:09:04,137 --> 01:09:06,401
I don't know.
1275
01:09:06,473 --> 01:09:07,940
You did it.
1276
01:09:08,008 --> 01:09:10,568
You did what
you came here to do.
1277
01:09:10,644 --> 01:09:13,511
Yeah, but what about
the discharge petition?
1278
01:09:13,580 --> 01:09:15,673
This isn't
about just one animal...
1279
01:09:15,749 --> 01:09:16,875
it's all of the animals.
1280
01:09:16,950 --> 01:09:19,612
I agree, but you've got
a great team in place.
1281
01:09:19,686 --> 01:09:21,210
They can carry on without you.
1282
01:09:21,288 --> 01:09:23,950
C'est Magnifique wants you
up there by Monday.
1283
01:09:24,024 --> 01:09:27,289
You can go home.
1284
01:09:27,361 --> 01:09:29,955
Congratulations, Elle.
1285
01:09:30,030 --> 01:09:32,191
Wow. Thank you.
Thanks for doing that.
1286
01:09:32,266 --> 01:09:34,131
Well, sure.
1287
01:09:37,237 --> 01:09:40,638
We have to stick together,
us Washington blondes.
1288
01:09:40,707 --> 01:09:43,471
Do you know who
Representative Hannenfeld...
1289
01:09:43,544 --> 01:09:46,172
had lunch with today
in the members dining room?
1290
01:09:47,548 --> 01:09:50,449
I skipped lunch today.
Had a facial.
1291
01:09:50,517 --> 01:09:52,985
OK. Thanks.
1292
01:09:53,053 --> 01:09:55,112
I'll call you about that.
1293
01:09:55,188 --> 01:09:56,678
Yeah.
1294
01:10:07,801 --> 01:10:10,463
Emmett, I know you're probably
in Case Law class right now...
1295
01:10:10,537 --> 01:10:12,528
but call me back
when you get this.
1296
01:10:12,606 --> 01:10:14,938
I think I'm coming home.
1297
01:10:15,008 --> 01:10:16,873
But it's a good thing.
1298
01:10:16,944 --> 01:10:20,107
Maybe. Call me back.
1299
01:10:32,359 --> 01:10:34,293
Will you leave us alone now?
1300
01:10:34,361 --> 01:10:35,953
Excuse me?
1301
01:10:36,029 --> 01:10:38,020
I know you've been
working against us...
1302
01:10:38,098 --> 01:10:39,360
and I know
somehow it's personal.
1303
01:10:39,433 --> 01:10:41,867
- You don't like me.
- Clearly.
1304
01:10:41,935 --> 01:10:45,564
If I leave Washington,
will you call off the fight...
1305
01:10:45,639 --> 01:10:47,106
and let Bruiser's Bill
have a fair shot?
1306
01:10:47,174 --> 01:10:50,632
Your bill is trivial to me.
I have my own agenda.
1307
01:10:50,711 --> 01:10:54,112
Like the homeowners bill you
pushed through at our expense?
1308
01:10:54,181 --> 01:10:55,808
That's all I'm asking, Grace--
1309
01:10:55,882 --> 01:10:58,715
Homeowners incentives?
I wouldn't touch that bill.
1310
01:10:58,785 --> 01:11:01,219
It's a tax break
for the wealthy.
1311
01:11:03,123 --> 01:11:06,581
Haven't you been pushing it
for the last two sessions?
1312
01:11:06,660 --> 01:11:09,527
Victoria has a live interview
with Connie Chung in an hour.
1313
01:11:09,596 --> 01:11:11,860
I don't have time for this.
1314
01:11:11,932 --> 01:11:14,366
That's the interview
she's preparing for?
1315
01:11:14,434 --> 01:11:16,902
She's in makeup right now.
1316
01:11:16,970 --> 01:11:18,938
She's in makeup?
1317
01:11:19,072 --> 01:11:21,006
Mike test, 1-2-3.
1318
01:11:21,074 --> 01:11:22,507
Is Miss Chung available?
1319
01:11:22,576 --> 01:11:24,134
I'd like to go over
some ground rules
1320
01:11:24,211 --> 01:11:27,146
before we go on live,
for goodness sakes.
1321
01:11:27,214 --> 01:11:29,580
Yes, OK. Thanks.
1322
01:11:31,551 --> 01:11:33,348
Doesn't she have
a beautiful complexion?
1323
01:11:33,420 --> 01:11:36,287
She's like a PSA for SPF.
1324
01:11:36,356 --> 01:11:38,756
Thank you, Elle.
I thought you were gone.
1325
01:11:38,825 --> 01:11:40,690
Home? No, no, no.
I'm not ready yet--
1326
01:11:40,761 --> 01:11:42,228
Epidermally speaking,
that is.
1327
01:11:42,295 --> 01:11:44,354
I'm actually feeling
a little bit muddy.
1328
01:11:44,431 --> 01:11:46,092
I need a light exfoliation...
1329
01:11:46,166 --> 01:11:47,428
followed by
super rich hydration...
1330
01:11:47,501 --> 01:11:50,368
and I thought, Victoria will
have a good recommendation.
1331
01:11:50,437 --> 01:11:52,632
Sweetie, this really
isn't the best time.
1332
01:11:52,706 --> 01:11:54,105
I know you're very busy...
1333
01:11:54,174 --> 01:11:56,108
so I already called
your facialist.
1334
01:11:56,176 --> 01:11:59,111
The thing is she said
you didn't come in today.
1335
01:11:59,179 --> 01:12:01,977
Oh, no, no.
I went someplace else.
1336
01:12:02,049 --> 01:12:03,539
Someplace new. Is that all?
1337
01:12:03,617 --> 01:12:04,743
No, that's not all.
1338
01:12:04,818 --> 01:12:07,446
Every woman knows
that a good facial...
1339
01:12:07,521 --> 01:12:09,853
can be a painful experience
if done properly...
1340
01:12:09,923 --> 01:12:13,359
resulting in red blotchy areas
all over your skin...
1341
01:12:13,427 --> 01:12:16,123
swelling, tenderness
in your T-zone area.
1342
01:12:16,196 --> 01:12:18,926
Even more so if your facialist
is Eastern European...
1343
01:12:18,999 --> 01:12:20,523
as so many of the best are.
1344
01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:22,727
Payback for the fall
of Communism, I like to say.
1345
01:12:22,803 --> 01:12:25,294
What on earth
are you talking about?
1346
01:12:25,372 --> 01:12:26,896
Isn't it
the first rule of facials...
1347
01:12:26,973 --> 01:12:28,736
that there's a 24-hour window
between a facial...
1348
01:12:28,809 --> 01:12:31,676
and any major occasion
such as a date or a dance...
1349
01:12:31,745 --> 01:12:34,612
or maybe an interview
with Mrs. Maury Povich?
1350
01:12:34,681 --> 01:12:36,581
I don't think that's a rule...
1351
01:12:36,650 --> 01:12:38,948
the most well-groomed woman
in Washington would forget.
1352
01:12:39,019 --> 01:12:41,351
This is ridiculous.
Could we clear this room?
1353
01:12:41,421 --> 01:12:42,820
You lied to me
about your lunch hour.
1354
01:12:42,889 --> 01:12:45,881
Why? Because you were having
lunch with Hannenfeld?
1355
01:12:45,959 --> 01:12:49,156
You've been lobbying
against us all this time.
1356
01:12:49,229 --> 01:12:54,496
For God's sakes, enough.
Thank you. Out, out, out.
1357
01:12:54,568 --> 01:12:57,435
Thank you.
I'll be with you in a moment.
1358
01:13:00,507 --> 01:13:04,910
Yes. I lied to you.
I killed Bruiser's Bill.
1359
01:13:04,978 --> 01:13:06,172
But you're an animal lover.
1360
01:13:06,246 --> 01:13:08,043
What about Dolly Madison,
your beagle?
1361
01:13:08,115 --> 01:13:10,174
Not mine. I borrowed it.
1362
01:13:10,250 --> 01:13:13,083
And it reeked.
Looked good on the sofa.
1363
01:13:13,153 --> 01:13:16,088
We've been through
all of this before.
1364
01:13:16,156 --> 01:13:18,647
I traded your bill
for the homeowners bill...
1365
01:13:18,725 --> 01:13:20,352
that Grace had committed me to.
1366
01:13:20,427 --> 01:13:23,123
That's a lie.
Grace never wanted that.
1367
01:13:23,196 --> 01:13:26,495
You blocked this bill
and I want to know why.
1368
01:13:26,566 --> 01:13:28,056
- Why?
- Yes, why?
1369
01:13:28,135 --> 01:13:31,400
Why does anything happen
in Washington? Survival.
1370
01:13:31,471 --> 01:13:34,531
You have no idea what it takes
to get here and stay here.
1371
01:13:34,608 --> 01:13:36,132
The money it takes.
1372
01:13:36,209 --> 01:13:39,701
It just so happens that
my chief financial contributor
1373
01:13:39,780 --> 01:13:43,147
purchased half share
in a major cosmetics company...
1374
01:13:43,216 --> 01:13:46,879
and they want to continue
testing on animals...
1375
01:13:46,953 --> 01:13:48,511
so much so
that they're willing...
1376
01:13:48,588 --> 01:13:50,749
to bankroll my opponent
in next year's elections...
1377
01:13:50,824 --> 01:13:54,089
if I did not kill your bill.
1378
01:13:54,161 --> 01:13:56,186
I trusted you.
1379
01:13:56,263 --> 01:13:58,390
I looked up to you.
1380
01:13:58,465 --> 01:14:02,697
I can't do anyone any good
if I'm no longer here.
1381
01:14:02,769 --> 01:14:04,999
But you're not doing
anybody any good.
1382
01:14:05,071 --> 01:14:09,098
Nobody in your district,
not even yourself.
1383
01:14:09,176 --> 01:14:12,737
And I'm sorry,
but I can't let that happen.
1384
01:14:16,716 --> 01:14:19,150
You can't prove
why I changed my vote...
1385
01:14:19,219 --> 01:14:20,516
or how I blocked your bill.
1386
01:14:20,587 --> 01:14:22,680
It's your word against mine...
1387
01:14:22,756 --> 01:14:25,247
and I've spent 20 years
building up my credibility...
1388
01:14:25,325 --> 01:14:27,122
in this town and back home.
1389
01:14:27,194 --> 01:14:29,059
I'm not going to the press.
1390
01:14:29,129 --> 01:14:32,064
I don't believe in blackmail.
1391
01:14:32,132 --> 01:14:34,191
But I do believe
in the people...
1392
01:14:34,267 --> 01:14:36,633
and I'm going to take
Bruiser's Bill to them.
1393
01:14:36,703 --> 01:14:38,967
The people believe
what we tell them to believe.
1394
01:14:39,039 --> 01:14:40,472
It'll never work, Elle.
1395
01:14:40,540 --> 01:14:43,304
You can't get
the people to care.
1396
01:14:47,080 --> 01:14:48,445
Watch me.
1397
01:15:06,700 --> 01:15:08,964
Ladies...
1398
01:15:09,035 --> 01:15:10,525
it's time.
1399
01:15:12,639 --> 01:15:14,300
You mean...
1400
01:15:14,374 --> 01:15:15,932
Are you sure?
1401
01:15:16,009 --> 01:15:19,740
As sure as I am that nobody
looks good in paisley.
1402
01:15:19,813 --> 01:15:22,111
Are you with me?
1403
01:15:22,182 --> 01:15:26,016
I think so. Serena?
1404
01:15:28,455 --> 01:15:32,084
Yeah. Yes.
We're with you, Elle.
1405
01:15:33,193 --> 01:15:34,626
Go for it.
1406
01:15:49,276 --> 01:15:50,743
Oh, my God!
1407
01:15:56,016 --> 01:15:58,416
Delta Nu president,
Chapter 2-6...
1408
01:15:58,485 --> 01:16:02,717
I.D. Number 097435.
Third from the top.
1409
01:16:02,789 --> 01:16:05,553
6234978,
fifth from the top...
1410
01:16:05,625 --> 01:16:08,219
calling to activate
phone tree number 255.
1411
01:16:08,295 --> 01:16:10,786
Call to activate
phone tree 255!
1412
01:16:10,864 --> 01:16:12,297
This is not a fire drill.
1413
01:16:12,365 --> 01:16:14,799
I repeat, this is not a drill!
1414
01:16:18,305 --> 01:16:21,934
Sisters mobilized.
E.T.A. 0800 hours.
1415
01:16:27,948 --> 01:16:29,779
- Hi, Heather, it's Buffy.
- Hi, Kiki, it's Tiffani.
1416
01:16:29,849 --> 01:16:31,908
- Hi, Amber, it's Becky.
- Hi, Audrey, it's Melanie.
1417
01:16:31,985 --> 01:16:33,850
- Hi, Jos, it's Breena.
- Hi, Courtney, it's Veronica.
1418
01:16:33,920 --> 01:16:35,751
- Hi, Christy, it's Nat.
- Hi, Binky, it's Nicki.
1419
01:16:35,822 --> 01:16:38,757
- Hi, Jill, it's Jojo.
- Hi, Allison, it's Cookie.
1420
01:16:38,825 --> 01:16:40,190
You will never believe
what happened.
1421
01:16:40,260 --> 01:16:41,522
Elle just called
and she needs our help...
1422
01:16:41,594 --> 01:16:43,391
Suzy, we're taking it
to Defcon One.
1423
01:16:43,463 --> 01:16:44,623
There's a crisis right now.
1424
01:16:44,698 --> 01:16:46,393
Where the president is.
Exactly.
1425
01:16:46,466 --> 01:16:48,661
There's an emergency
in Washington.
1426
01:16:48,735 --> 01:16:50,600
Road trip?
1427
01:16:54,741 --> 01:16:57,642
OK, see you in Washington.
1428
01:17:30,710 --> 01:17:33,873
Save Bruiser's mom!
1429
01:17:33,947 --> 01:17:35,574
Save Bruiser's mom!
1430
01:17:35,648 --> 01:17:37,206
Help me out, tell a friend.
1431
01:17:37,283 --> 01:17:40,775
Save Bruiser's mom!
1432
01:17:40,854 --> 01:17:42,253
I like your necklace.
1433
01:17:56,936 --> 01:18:00,133
Gay Dogs of America
support Bruiser's Bill!
1434
01:18:00,206 --> 01:18:01,639
We're gonna tee it
around 12:00--
1435
01:18:01,708 --> 01:18:03,903
Miss, save me a good one.
1436
01:18:03,977 --> 01:18:06,172
Full-color big picture
of Bruiser.
1437
01:18:06,246 --> 01:18:08,737
Emmett!
What are you doing here?
1438
01:18:08,815 --> 01:18:10,715
Wedding research.
1439
01:18:10,784 --> 01:18:12,012
What?
1440
01:18:12,085 --> 01:18:15,816
Elle, your work is here now
and it's important.
1441
01:18:15,889 --> 01:18:17,948
So I'm bringing
the wedding to you.
1442
01:18:18,024 --> 01:18:20,993
First step,
get groom to Washington.
1443
01:18:22,462 --> 01:18:24,089
But what about Fenway Park?
1444
01:18:25,698 --> 01:18:27,825
Look, I don't care
where I marry you...
1445
01:18:27,901 --> 01:18:29,630
just as long as I do.
1446
01:18:29,702 --> 01:18:33,229
I do. I do. Feels good.
1447
01:18:34,307 --> 01:18:36,104
So what's Step Two?
1448
01:18:41,514 --> 01:18:43,812
That's Step Two.
1449
01:18:43,883 --> 01:18:47,375
Save Bruiser's mom!
1450
01:18:47,454 --> 01:18:51,254
Save Bruiser's mom!
1451
01:18:51,324 --> 01:18:54,987
Save Bruiser's mom!
1452
01:18:55,061 --> 01:18:57,291
Save Bruiser's mom!
1453
01:19:16,816 --> 01:19:19,512
Colorado. Photo ops after.
1454
01:19:19,586 --> 01:19:21,816
Grace, are you all right?
1455
01:19:21,888 --> 01:19:25,881
Save Bruiser's mom!
1456
01:19:25,959 --> 01:19:29,690
Save Bruiser's mom!
1457
01:19:29,762 --> 01:19:31,957
Save Bruiser's mom!
1458
01:19:52,018 --> 01:19:54,077
Rutherford. Check.
1459
01:19:54,154 --> 01:19:55,644
Porter. Check.
1460
01:19:55,722 --> 01:19:57,349
Hutchins. Check.
1461
01:19:59,259 --> 01:20:01,250
Uh-oh. That's it.
1462
01:20:01,327 --> 01:20:03,318
It's not enough.
1463
01:20:03,396 --> 01:20:04,556
Tomorrow's a wash.
1464
01:20:04,631 --> 01:20:06,223
It's National Education Day.
1465
01:20:07,867 --> 01:20:10,335
Got a meeting of both Houses,
ceremonial speeches--
1466
01:20:10,403 --> 01:20:13,133
there's no time for politicking.
1467
01:20:13,206 --> 01:20:15,333
Sorry, Elle, we tried.
1468
01:20:15,408 --> 01:20:17,376
We have to keep trying.
1469
01:20:17,443 --> 01:20:18,671
Hello?
1470
01:20:18,745 --> 01:20:21,646
You want those
last fifteen signatures?
1471
01:20:21,714 --> 01:20:22,874
Grace?
1472
01:20:22,949 --> 01:20:24,917
It'll take
something extraordinary.
1473
01:20:24,984 --> 01:20:26,474
You'll have to pull something...
1474
01:20:26,553 --> 01:20:28,748
no regular citizen
would ever dream of.
1475
01:20:28,821 --> 01:20:31,619
Fine, but how am I
going to do that?
1476
01:20:31,691 --> 01:20:33,352
You're going to address
the entire Congress...
1477
01:20:33,426 --> 01:20:35,291
and I know just the person
to make it happen.
1478
01:20:35,361 --> 01:20:38,091
Who? Is that even possible?
1479
01:20:38,164 --> 01:20:42,100
Look, Elle,
you may be above blackmail...
1480
01:20:42,168 --> 01:20:43,635
but I'm not.
1481
01:20:51,578 --> 01:20:53,705
Grace, why are you helping me?
1482
01:20:53,780 --> 01:20:56,772
Because once upon a time
I loved politics...
1483
01:20:56,849 --> 01:20:58,817
and I want to do some good.
1484
01:20:59,819 --> 01:21:02,447
What has that got to do with me?
1485
01:21:02,522 --> 01:21:05,855
Look, those silly girls
that I told you about...
1486
01:21:05,925 --> 01:21:08,393
with the blisters on their feet?
1487
01:21:08,461 --> 01:21:11,919
I was one of them.
1488
01:21:13,533 --> 01:21:16,764
We have celebrated today
elementary education...
1489
01:21:16,836 --> 01:21:20,169
secondary
and higher education...
1490
01:21:20,240 --> 01:21:24,438
and now...
1491
01:21:24,510 --> 01:21:26,535
Don't even think about it.
1492
01:21:26,613 --> 01:21:30,913
And now...
1493
01:21:30,984 --> 01:21:34,476
This is
a little unconventional.
1494
01:21:34,554 --> 01:21:36,954
With the Speaker's...
1495
01:21:37,023 --> 01:21:40,424
and the president
of the Senate's permission...
1496
01:21:40,493 --> 01:21:44,156
please indulge me
as I share the floor...
1497
01:21:44,230 --> 01:21:46,289
with my constituent...
1498
01:21:46,366 --> 01:21:48,163
who in the spirit
of education...
1499
01:21:48,234 --> 01:21:52,364
would like to educate us all
on a vital issue...
1500
01:21:52,438 --> 01:21:54,303
facing us today.
1501
01:21:54,374 --> 01:21:57,707
Ladies and gentlemen
of both Houses...
1502
01:21:57,777 --> 01:22:02,476
I give you Ms. Elle Woods.
1503
01:22:36,082 --> 01:22:37,982
It's all yours.
1504
01:22:42,422 --> 01:22:44,390
Thank you, Congresswoman.
1505
01:22:46,025 --> 01:22:48,425
Hello, everyone,
my name is Elle Woods...
1506
01:22:48,494 --> 01:22:51,292
and I'm here
to speak to you today...
1507
01:22:51,364 --> 01:22:55,061
about a piece of legislation
called Bruiser's Bill.
1508
01:23:05,578 --> 01:23:08,138
But you know...
1509
01:23:08,214 --> 01:23:11,445
today is supposed to be
about education.
1510
01:23:11,517 --> 01:23:15,954
So instead, I want to tell you
about the education...
1511
01:23:16,022 --> 01:23:18,149
you all have given me
over the past three months.
1512
01:23:18,224 --> 01:23:20,124
What about Bruiser's Bill?
We still need 15 signatures.
1513
01:23:20,193 --> 01:23:21,421
She's blowing it.
1514
01:23:21,494 --> 01:23:24,486
I came to Washington
to help my dog Bruiser...
1515
01:23:24,564 --> 01:23:25,997
and somewhere
along the way...
1516
01:23:26,065 --> 01:23:29,967
I learned
a really unexpected lesson.
1517
01:23:31,270 --> 01:23:34,535
I know what you're thinking--
Who is this girl?
1518
01:23:34,607 --> 01:23:37,872
And what could this simple,
small-town girl from Bel Air...
1519
01:23:37,944 --> 01:23:41,072
have to say to all of us?
I'll tell you.
1520
01:23:41,147 --> 01:23:45,413
It's about something
that's bigger than me...
1521
01:23:45,485 --> 01:23:48,579
or any single act
of legislation.
1522
01:23:48,654 --> 01:23:51,714
This is about a matter
that should be at...
1523
01:23:51,791 --> 01:23:55,488
the highest importance
to every American--
1524
01:23:56,629 --> 01:23:59,029
My hair.
1525
01:24:01,534 --> 01:24:02,967
There's this salon
in Beverly Hills.
1526
01:24:03,035 --> 01:24:06,835
It's really fancy and beautiful.
1527
01:24:06,906 --> 01:24:08,840
It's impossible
to get an appointment.
1528
01:24:08,908 --> 01:24:11,240
Unless you're Julia Roberts
or from "Friends"...
1529
01:24:11,310 --> 01:24:12,971
you can just forget it.
1530
01:24:13,045 --> 01:24:16,845
But one day, they called me.
They had an opening.
1531
01:24:16,916 --> 01:24:19,180
So I was going to finally
get the chance...
1532
01:24:19,252 --> 01:24:21,379
to sit in one of
those sacred beauty chairs.
1533
01:24:21,454 --> 01:24:23,445
I was so excited.
1534
01:24:23,523 --> 01:24:26,651
Then the colorist...
1535
01:24:26,726 --> 01:24:30,025
gave me Brassy Brigitte
instead of Harlow Honey.
1536
01:24:30,096 --> 01:24:34,226
The shampoo girl washed my hair
with spiral perm solution...
1537
01:24:34,300 --> 01:24:37,292
instead of color-intensive
moisturizing shampoo.
1538
01:24:37,370 --> 01:24:40,567
Finally, the stylist...
1539
01:24:40,640 --> 01:24:44,838
gave me a bob... with bangs.
1540
01:24:45,878 --> 01:24:49,405
Suffice to say,
it was just wrong.
1541
01:24:49,482 --> 01:24:54,078
All wrong. For me, you know?
1542
01:24:54,153 --> 01:24:55,518
First I was angry.
1543
01:24:55,588 --> 01:24:59,046
And then I realized my anger
was completely misdirected.
1544
01:24:59,125 --> 01:25:01,184
This wasn't the salon's fault.
1545
01:25:01,260 --> 01:25:03,956
I had sat there and
witnessed this injustice...
1546
01:25:04,030 --> 01:25:05,725
and had let it happen.
1547
01:25:05,798 --> 01:25:10,565
I didn't get involved
in the process.
1548
01:25:10,636 --> 01:25:14,367
I forgot to use my voice.
1549
01:25:14,440 --> 01:25:18,536
I forgot to believe in myself.
1550
01:25:18,611 --> 01:25:20,875
But now I know better.
1551
01:25:20,947 --> 01:25:27,011
I know that one honest voice
can be louder than a crowd.
1552
01:25:27,086 --> 01:25:31,921
I know that
if we lose our voice...
1553
01:25:31,991 --> 01:25:35,722
or if we let those
who speak on our behalf...
1554
01:25:35,795 --> 01:25:38,423
compromise our voice...
1555
01:25:38,498 --> 01:25:42,662
then, this country...
1556
01:25:42,735 --> 01:25:45,499
this country is in
for a really bad haircut.
1557
01:25:50,142 --> 01:25:52,474
So speak up, America.
1558
01:25:52,545 --> 01:25:54,103
Speak up!
1559
01:25:54,180 --> 01:25:57,581
Speak up for the home
of the brave.
1560
01:25:57,650 --> 01:26:01,279
Speak up for the land
of the free gift with purchase.
1561
01:26:01,354 --> 01:26:05,916
Speak up, America. Speak up!
1562
01:26:08,761 --> 01:26:10,695
And remember...
1563
01:26:10,763 --> 01:26:12,856
you are beautiful.
1564
01:26:16,769 --> 01:26:18,361
Thank you.
1565
01:26:32,184 --> 01:26:33,811
Thank you.
1566
01:26:33,886 --> 01:26:36,446
Everyone, it's time I spoke up.
1567
01:26:36,522 --> 01:26:38,820
I think Timothy's smoking!
1568
01:26:43,796 --> 01:26:46,321
I'm married.
1569
01:26:48,234 --> 01:26:49,531
Thank you.
1570
01:27:40,419 --> 01:27:44,150
You didn't! Thank you!
1571
01:27:44,223 --> 01:27:45,713
Thank you!
1572
01:27:48,761 --> 01:27:49,887
Thank you.
1573
01:27:49,962 --> 01:27:53,193
What is this? Oh, my God!
1574
01:27:54,467 --> 01:27:56,059
That's so perfect!
1575
01:28:22,094 --> 01:28:24,927
This week,
Congresswoman Libby Hauser...
1576
01:28:24,997 --> 01:28:27,363
finished decorating
her house...
1577
01:28:27,433 --> 01:28:29,367
sent her son off to college...
1578
01:28:29,435 --> 01:28:31,494
and negotiated a settlement...
1579
01:28:31,570 --> 01:28:33,800
between the San Antonio
labor unions...
1580
01:28:33,873 --> 01:28:36,103
and the Department
of Sanitation.
1581
01:28:36,175 --> 01:28:38,803
Snaps for Congresswoman Hauser!
1582
01:29:26,225 --> 01:29:28,819
Now that we're married,
where do you want to live?
1583
01:29:28,894 --> 01:29:31,522
Beverly Hills? Boston?
Washington?
1584
01:29:31,597 --> 01:29:34,828
- I know just the place.
- Yeah?
1585
01:29:40,000 --> 01:30:10,000
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