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♪ One for the money
2
00:00:14,151 --> 00:00:16,219
♪ Two for the show
3
00:00:16,220 --> 00:00:17,954
♪ Three to get ready
4
00:00:17,955 --> 00:00:19,055
♪ And go
5
00:00:31,768 --> 00:00:33,602
♪ Okay
6
00:00:37,874 --> 00:00:39,943
♪ One for the money,
two for the show ♪
7
00:00:39,944 --> 00:00:42,345
♪ Three to get ready,
four for the dough ♪
8
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♪ One of the money,
two for the show ♪
9
00:00:44,248 --> 00:00:46,416
♪ Three to get ready,
now here we go ♪
10
00:00:46,417 --> 00:00:48,752
♪ Get get get back
11
00:00:48,753 --> 00:00:51,353
♪ Get g-g-g-get back
12
00:00:54,759 --> 00:00:56,826
♪ Live it up now, live it up now ♪
13
00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:58,128
♪ Live it up now
14
00:00:58,129 --> 00:01:00,230
♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪ Oh
15
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♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪ Oh
16
00:01:15,179 --> 00:01:16,946
All right, he's right
in front of you.
17
00:01:16,947 --> 00:01:18,381
Straight ahead.
Straight ahead.
18
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:19,949
Straight ahead.
19
00:01:19,950 --> 00:01:21,483
Straight ahead.
20
00:01:27,824 --> 00:01:29,292
Ohh!
21
00:01:34,030 --> 00:01:36,498
♪ Unh unh unh unh
22
00:01:39,202 --> 00:01:41,370
♪ Co-co-come on
23
00:01:43,406 --> 00:01:45,040
♪ Have a good time
24
00:01:54,317 --> 00:01:55,719
Morning, sweetie.
25
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:57,220
How did you sleep?
26
00:01:57,221 --> 00:01:58,521
Not good.
27
00:01:58,522 --> 00:02:00,822
Tossed and turned a lot.
28
00:02:02,192 --> 00:02:04,994
Okay, I've gotta say this.
29
00:02:04,995 --> 00:02:07,363
You've been acting really
weird the last several days.
30
00:02:07,364 --> 00:02:09,165
Like, really nervous and on edge,
31
00:02:09,166 --> 00:02:11,534
so I'm thinking
either you're having
32
00:02:11,535 --> 00:02:12,936
second thoughts about
getting married,
33
00:02:12,937 --> 00:02:14,170
or there's a problem at work
34
00:02:14,171 --> 00:02:15,605
you're not telling me about,
35
00:02:15,606 --> 00:02:18,441
or, I don't know, maybe
there's someone else?
36
00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:20,143
Babe, come on, don't be ridiculous.
37
00:02:20,144 --> 00:02:21,878
Okay, well, but there's something.
38
00:02:21,879 --> 00:02:23,146
Because you've been like
this big sack of nerves
39
00:02:23,147 --> 00:02:25,148
that's all twitchy and jumpy.
40
00:02:25,149 --> 00:02:26,549
Honey,
41
00:02:26,550 --> 00:02:28,785
I'm fine.
42
00:02:28,786 --> 00:02:30,118
Okay?
43
00:02:47,070 --> 00:02:49,339
Fuck!
44
00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:51,674
Fuck you, cereal!
45
00:02:51,675 --> 00:02:53,610
Fuck you, cereal!
Fuck you, milk!
46
00:02:53,611 --> 00:02:55,612
Fuck you guys toge...
Fuck!
47
00:02:55,613 --> 00:02:57,313
Fuck! You
fucking piece of...
48
00:02:57,314 --> 00:02:59,616
Fuck! Shit!
49
00:02:59,617 --> 00:03:00,416
Fuck!
50
00:03:00,417 --> 00:03:02,985
In the face!
Fuck!
51
00:03:12,228 --> 00:03:14,697
Good afternoon, sir, hi.
My name is Luke Gordon,
52
00:03:14,698 --> 00:03:17,634
and I'm calling from Janitors
Bucket Cleaning Service,
53
00:03:17,635 --> 00:03:19,636
and I'm very excited
to be talking to you
54
00:03:19,637 --> 00:03:21,905
about our exceptional
cleaning system.
55
00:03:21,906 --> 00:03:24,340
Believe it or not, we
do have some people
56
00:03:24,341 --> 00:03:26,442
in your building today
dealing with other clients,
57
00:03:26,443 --> 00:03:27,843
and I was wondering...
58
00:03:29,646 --> 00:03:30,846
No.
59
00:03:31,981 --> 00:03:33,682
No, there's no Janet here.
60
00:03:34,284 --> 00:03:35,885
Janitor.
61
00:03:35,886 --> 00:03:38,620
Yeah, it's Janitors Bucket
Cleaning Service, and...
62
00:03:40,623 --> 00:03:42,625
Well, I can't take a
message for someone
63
00:03:42,626 --> 00:03:45,127
who doesn't exist...
I'm calling you.
64
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:48,898
Sir, no, I can't...
65
00:03:48,899 --> 00:03:52,101
No, there's no Janet.
I can't...
66
00:03:52,102 --> 00:03:55,438
Go ahead. Mm-hmm.
67
00:03:55,439 --> 00:03:58,975
Yeah. Yeah, I'll have her
call you, Fred. Bye!
68
00:03:58,976 --> 00:04:01,043
Oh, shoot me in the face.
69
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:07,083
It's this stupid stag.
70
00:04:07,084 --> 00:04:08,451
Wait, your stag?
71
00:04:08,452 --> 00:04:10,453
How can that be bothering you?
72
00:04:10,454 --> 00:04:12,856
I thought that was, like,
every guy's dream.
73
00:04:12,857 --> 00:04:15,625
Okay, babe, you've got a
great group of friends
74
00:04:15,626 --> 00:04:17,427
that you've known since
you were, what, 16?
75
00:04:17,428 --> 00:04:19,062
And I'm sure they're
anxious to see you tonight
76
00:04:19,063 --> 00:04:22,932
and, you know, be part of this
special, memorable event.
77
00:04:22,933 --> 00:04:24,300
Yeah, I bet they are.
78
00:04:24,301 --> 00:04:26,501
So then why wouldn't
you be excited about it?
79
00:04:28,638 --> 00:04:31,074
Two years ago, I organized a group
80
00:04:31,075 --> 00:04:35,645
that got Jason Albright
so drunk he passed out.
81
00:04:35,646 --> 00:04:38,147
We stripped him buck naked
82
00:04:38,148 --> 00:04:40,350
and then covered his ass in ice.
83
00:04:40,351 --> 00:04:42,418
Ohh!
84
00:04:42,419 --> 00:04:45,154
I then cut off
the top of a pineapple,
85
00:04:45,155 --> 00:04:47,457
wedged that bad boy
into the crack of his ass
86
00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:49,325
so it looked
like the whole pineapple
87
00:04:49,326 --> 00:04:50,627
was shoved into his butt
88
00:04:50,628 --> 00:04:52,362
and just the leaves
were sticking out.
89
00:04:52,363 --> 00:04:53,696
I took a picture of it,
90
00:04:53,697 --> 00:04:57,200
and then I circulated it
around the office.
91
00:04:57,201 --> 00:04:58,902
Okay, now you're
just making that up.
92
00:04:58,903 --> 00:05:00,503
You think I'm making this up?
93
00:05:00,504 --> 00:05:02,672
Mm-hmm.
You think this is...
94
00:05:02,673 --> 00:05:05,942
Okay, I'm gonna show you
what I'm making up.
95
00:05:05,943 --> 00:05:07,642
Here.
96
00:05:08,912 --> 00:05:09,812
Bam!
97
00:05:09,813 --> 00:05:11,347
Oh!
It's my screen saver!
98
00:05:11,348 --> 00:05:13,917
Oh! Oh, my God!
99
00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:17,586
Yeah! I'm screwed!
100
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,595
Payback's a bitch, huh?
101
00:05:25,596 --> 00:05:26,829
Rory, what are you doing?
102
00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:28,164
You know what
I have planned for Ken?
103
00:05:28,165 --> 00:05:29,365
It's friggin' brilliant.
104
00:05:29,366 --> 00:05:31,134
No, I don't know, and, uh,
105
00:05:31,135 --> 00:05:33,002
I'm not really
that concerned, so...
106
00:05:33,003 --> 00:05:35,338
Wa-wait, you're going
to the stag, right?
107
00:05:35,339 --> 00:05:37,340
No, I don't think so.
108
00:05:37,341 --> 00:05:38,908
I mean, I've got
a lot of work to do.
109
00:05:38,909 --> 00:05:40,543
I've got to get through
these cold calls, so...
110
00:05:40,544 --> 00:05:43,613
Okay, so you don't want
to go to the stag, or...?
111
00:05:43,614 --> 00:05:45,214
Are you kidding me?
112
00:05:45,215 --> 00:05:46,749
The last time I saw a vagina,
113
00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:48,918
it was when my daughter
was coming out of it.
114
00:05:48,919 --> 00:05:50,820
Your daughter's 6.
115
00:05:50,821 --> 00:05:52,422
I know.
116
00:05:52,423 --> 00:05:53,623
You need to come to this!
117
00:05:53,624 --> 00:05:55,058
I don't know.
I just...
118
00:05:55,059 --> 00:05:56,993
Come on, man, hang with the
boys like the old days.
119
00:05:56,994 --> 00:05:59,896
You know, just forget about your
responsibilities for a few hours.
120
00:05:59,897 --> 00:06:02,031
This is our chance
to prank the prankster.
121
00:06:02,032 --> 00:06:03,032
It's gonna be the best!
122
00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:04,567
I don't know.
123
00:06:04,568 --> 00:06:05,868
I mean, I really do
have some work to do,
124
00:06:05,869 --> 00:06:08,338
and Liz is not gonna
want me to go, okay?
125
00:06:08,339 --> 00:06:10,606
She doesn't mind me going out
with the guys and having beers,
126
00:06:10,607 --> 00:06:12,008
but she's not gonna like
127
00:06:12,009 --> 00:06:13,543
the fact that there's
a stripper there...
128
00:06:13,544 --> 00:06:14,844
What are you doing?
129
00:06:14,845 --> 00:06:15,945
I'm looking for where
you put your balls.
130
00:06:15,946 --> 00:06:17,780
Funny.
Are they in your files?
131
00:06:17,781 --> 00:06:20,083
No, check your mouth.
Probably in your mouth again.
132
00:06:20,084 --> 00:06:22,719
No, not in my mouth. They're not on
your body, I'll tell you that much.
133
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,354
Dude, you're burned out, all right?
134
00:06:24,355 --> 00:06:26,055
You need to take a break.
135
00:06:26,056 --> 00:06:27,590
Give yourself a few hours.
136
00:06:27,591 --> 00:06:30,093
Just drink some beers,
you know, see some 'tang!
137
00:06:30,094 --> 00:06:31,694
Then you'll come back in
tomorrow morning a new man.
138
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:33,929
You'll knock the fucking lid
off these things!
139
00:06:34,797 --> 00:06:36,733
Maybe, yeah.
140
00:06:36,734 --> 00:06:40,636
So, um, who actually did
the pineapple placing
141
00:06:40,637 --> 00:06:41,904
in Jason's buttocks?
142
00:06:41,905 --> 00:06:44,374
Honey, it wasn't
the whole pineapple.
143
00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:46,342
It was just the top with
the leaves sticking out.
144
00:06:46,343 --> 00:06:48,111
Okay, but who actually did it?
145
00:06:48,112 --> 00:06:49,912
I don't know. I think we
drew straws or something
146
00:06:49,913 --> 00:06:53,016
So did the winner get
to do it or the loser?
147
00:06:53,017 --> 00:06:54,684
What are you doing?
148
00:06:54,685 --> 00:06:56,753
Why are you asking me this?
Don't you get it?
149
00:06:56,754 --> 00:06:58,821
By the end of the night,
I could be tied up
150
00:06:58,822 --> 00:07:00,957
and gagged on a train
to Pittsburgh!
151
00:07:00,958 --> 00:07:03,359
Either that or I could
wake up in an ice bath
152
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:04,627
without my kidney!
153
00:07:04,628 --> 00:07:06,829
So then why don't
you just not drink?
154
00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:09,432
Stay on guard all night so
nobody can do anything to you.
155
00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:11,034
Not drink at my own stag?
156
00:07:11,035 --> 00:07:12,402
What are you, nuts?
157
00:07:12,403 --> 00:07:13,836
You don't get it, do you?
158
00:07:13,837 --> 00:07:15,905
No!
No, I don't get it.
159
00:07:15,906 --> 00:07:18,408
I mean, I don't understand
why you can't just go
160
00:07:18,409 --> 00:07:19,909
to a movie with your friends
for your stag.
161
00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:22,311
Something really actiony
with someone like Brad Pitt.
162
00:07:22,312 --> 00:07:24,480
What, are you crazy?
163
00:07:24,481 --> 00:07:26,849
Oh, sorry! I'm crazy?
164
00:07:26,850 --> 00:07:29,352
You're shoving a pineapple up
some guy's ass, and I'm crazy?
165
00:07:29,353 --> 00:07:32,522
It wasn't the whole pineapple!
Don't you yell at me!
166
00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:34,524
I would never shove a pineapple...
167
00:07:34,525 --> 00:07:35,825
It's impossible!
168
00:07:35,826 --> 00:07:38,261
It's impossible to shove
169
00:07:38,262 --> 00:07:41,064
a pineapple up a man's ass!
170
00:07:41,065 --> 00:07:42,331
I said don't yell!
171
00:07:42,332 --> 00:07:43,833
It was the...
'Cause it...
172
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,501
Forget it! Let's just
forget it, okay?
173
00:07:45,502 --> 00:07:46,736
You know what,
if you're so worried,
174
00:07:46,737 --> 00:07:48,404
why don't you ask
your dad or a friend
175
00:07:48,405 --> 00:07:50,440
to keep their eye out for danger?
176
00:07:50,441 --> 00:07:51,507
I did.
I asked Carl.
177
00:07:51,508 --> 00:07:54,343
Carl? What?
You asked Carl?
178
00:07:54,344 --> 00:07:56,479
What's wrong with Carl?
179
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,281
That is the same question
all my friends ask
180
00:07:58,282 --> 00:07:59,482
whenever they meet him.
181
00:07:59,483 --> 00:08:01,150
"What the hell
is wrong with Carl?"
182
00:08:10,626 --> 00:08:13,028
Take me to the basement.
183
00:08:14,297 --> 00:08:16,165
You were awesome in Tiger Bait.
184
00:08:16,166 --> 00:08:18,601
- What did you say?
- Cut!
185
00:08:18,602 --> 00:08:20,835
What'd you say?
186
00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:29,045
Listen, Clark...
187
00:08:29,046 --> 00:08:30,113
It's actually Carl.
188
00:08:30,114 --> 00:08:31,914
Yeah, um, you gonna be okay here?
189
00:08:31,915 --> 00:08:33,382
You sure you can
handle this all right?
190
00:08:33,383 --> 00:08:36,085
Hey, Gus, dude, I'm an actor.
191
00:08:36,086 --> 00:08:38,121
I can do this shit
standing on my head.
192
00:08:38,122 --> 00:08:39,922
Okay, great.
But we did tell you
193
00:08:39,923 --> 00:08:41,357
that Veronica likes to
keep to herself, right?
194
00:08:41,358 --> 00:08:43,526
Oh, yeah, I know.
Right.
195
00:08:43,527 --> 00:08:45,394
Right.
Okay.
196
00:08:45,395 --> 00:08:46,696
It's just Tiger Bait's
197
00:08:46,697 --> 00:08:49,966
one of my all-time
favorite movies, so...
198
00:08:49,967 --> 00:08:51,300
Okay.
199
00:08:51,301 --> 00:08:52,935
Have you seen Tiger Bait?
200
00:08:52,936 --> 00:08:54,904
Uh, yeah.
201
00:08:54,905 --> 00:08:57,573
Yeah, I've seen it, but,
um, I'm more concerned
202
00:08:57,574 --> 00:08:59,375
about making this movie right now,
203
00:08:59,376 --> 00:09:01,644
so if you can't handle it
just let me know.
204
00:09:01,645 --> 00:09:03,045
I can get someone else here.
205
00:09:03,046 --> 00:09:05,114
No, wouldn't want you
to go to all that trouble.
206
00:09:05,115 --> 00:09:06,749
It's actually no trouble.
We just need to find someone
207
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:08,451
that can fit into that suit,
and then you're gone.
208
00:09:08,452 --> 00:09:10,286
I'm good.
209
00:09:10,287 --> 00:09:11,287
You're sure now?
210
00:09:11,288 --> 00:09:12,722
Totally sure.
211
00:09:12,723 --> 00:09:14,790
Okay, great, 'cause
if you fuck up again,
212
00:09:14,791 --> 00:09:16,359
I will personally
drag you off this set
213
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,928
by your hair, okay?
214
00:09:18,929 --> 00:09:20,929
All good! Yeah.
Okay.
215
00:09:21,764 --> 00:09:23,399
Oh, and, Clark?
Carl.
216
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,834
Easy on the door, okay?
217
00:09:24,835 --> 00:09:26,968
All right, let's pick that up.
218
00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:32,341
Shutting the gate too hard.
219
00:09:32,342 --> 00:09:34,976
- I work out, so...
- Clark!
220
00:09:40,716 --> 00:09:42,084
Well, that's everything.
221
00:09:42,085 --> 00:09:43,085
Yep.
222
00:09:43,086 --> 00:09:44,420
But, Sarah, I just...
223
00:09:44,421 --> 00:09:47,123
Oh, gosh, Henry, don't.
224
00:09:47,124 --> 00:09:48,891
Don't do this, okay?
225
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:51,227
These things,
they happen all the time,
226
00:09:51,228 --> 00:09:54,096
and the best thing to do
is just to...
227
00:09:54,097 --> 00:09:55,598
just to move on.
228
00:09:55,599 --> 00:09:57,400
But I live here.
229
00:09:57,401 --> 00:10:00,736
Yeah, okay, you know what?
230
00:10:00,737 --> 00:10:02,338
Don't worry.
231
00:10:02,339 --> 00:10:03,806
It's gonna be okay.
232
00:10:03,807 --> 00:10:06,709
I'm sure you're gonna meet someone,
233
00:10:06,710 --> 00:10:09,145
you know, 'cause you're just...
234
00:10:09,146 --> 00:10:13,848
You're just a really...
nice guy.
235
00:10:20,122 --> 00:10:21,657
You need to come to this!
236
00:10:21,658 --> 00:10:24,327
Okay, I'll go.
237
00:10:24,328 --> 00:10:25,561
Yes! Yes!
Yes, you will!
238
00:10:25,562 --> 00:10:26,862
Okay, fantastic.
239
00:10:26,863 --> 00:10:28,631
I'm gonna need you
to pick up the stripper.
240
00:10:28,632 --> 00:10:29,899
Whoa, what?
241
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,967
Yeah, the stripper I hired,
242
00:10:30,968 --> 00:10:32,068
she has no way of getting there.
243
00:10:32,069 --> 00:10:33,402
And?
I need you to pick her up.
244
00:10:33,403 --> 00:10:34,503
Why don't you pick her up?
245
00:10:34,504 --> 00:10:35,705
On my bike?
Oh, my God.
246
00:10:35,706 --> 00:10:36,973
I don't have a license, Luke.
247
00:10:36,974 --> 00:10:38,774
Do you know why
I don't have a license?
248
00:10:38,775 --> 00:10:40,610
Yes, I know, Rory.
I'll tell you why I don't have a license.
249
00:10:40,611 --> 00:10:42,245
Because after my stag,
thanks to Ken,
250
00:10:42,246 --> 00:10:43,946
I no longer have
a sense of depth perception,
251
00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:46,282
and therefore am not allowed
behind the wheel of a car.
252
00:10:46,283 --> 00:10:48,017
I get it, all right, but
that was four years ago,
253
00:10:48,018 --> 00:10:49,352
and you gotta get over it.
254
00:10:49,353 --> 00:10:51,087
Oh! Oh!
Make no mistake,
255
00:10:51,088 --> 00:10:52,855
I know exactly how long ago it was,
256
00:10:52,856 --> 00:10:55,691
and now the universe has
aligned itself to afford me
257
00:10:55,692 --> 00:10:56,926
the opportunity to show Ken
258
00:10:56,927 --> 00:10:58,527
the same respect that he showed me.
259
00:10:58,528 --> 00:11:01,631
And I intend to. So if you
would please be so kind,
260
00:11:01,632 --> 00:11:02,932
please, pretty fucking please,
261
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:04,367
pick up the fucking stripper!
262
00:11:04,368 --> 00:11:06,802
Okay, I will. But first,
I have to call my wife,
263
00:11:06,803 --> 00:11:08,504
and I have to lie to her,
264
00:11:08,505 --> 00:11:09,939
and that's something I'm not
comfortable doing, okay?
265
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:11,140
So if you'll excuse me...
266
00:11:11,141 --> 00:11:13,476
That is fantastic.
Say hi for me.
267
00:11:13,477 --> 00:11:14,844
Her name's Candy.
268
00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:16,345
Seriously, I'm picking up a Candy?
269
00:11:16,346 --> 00:11:17,346
Yeah.
Here's the address.
270
00:11:17,347 --> 00:11:18,614
Fucking depth perception.
271
00:11:18,615 --> 00:11:20,049
Okay, this is the address
272
00:11:20,050 --> 00:11:21,417
of the club she works at
during the day, okay?
273
00:11:21,418 --> 00:11:23,619
Now I have to go.
I'm masterminding the prank
274
00:11:23,620 --> 00:11:25,021
and assigning tasks to the guys.
275
00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:26,555
Speaking of which,
do you have any Viagra?
276
00:11:26,556 --> 00:11:28,090
No, not on me.
277
00:11:28,091 --> 00:11:29,458
Okay, well, search continues.
278
00:11:29,459 --> 00:11:30,760
Hey, sweetie, how are you?
279
00:11:30,761 --> 00:11:32,361
Now, Candy's expecting
you to pick her up
280
00:11:32,362 --> 00:11:33,829
at the strip club at 5:00
sharp, so don't be late, okay?
281
00:11:33,830 --> 00:11:35,197
Okay.
See you tonight?
282
00:11:35,198 --> 00:11:36,332
Yes.
283
00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:37,867
Sweetie... Sorry. Hold on
for one more sec.
284
00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:42,104
Excuse me, 5:00?
The stag is not until 7:00!
285
00:11:42,105 --> 00:11:44,440
What am I gonna do with a stripper
286
00:11:44,441 --> 00:11:46,608
for two fuckin' hours?!
287
00:11:56,452 --> 00:11:58,154
You okay?
288
00:11:58,155 --> 00:11:59,422
Two years.
289
00:11:59,423 --> 00:12:00,923
Ah, fuck her.
290
00:12:00,924 --> 00:12:03,559
All women are a pain in the ass.
291
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:04,927
Two years, Paul.
292
00:12:04,928 --> 00:12:06,862
I know, I know, it's shitty.
293
00:12:06,863 --> 00:12:08,931
It's shitty.
Plus, I don't like it
294
00:12:08,932 --> 00:12:10,733
when people fuck with my friends.
295
00:12:10,734 --> 00:12:11,734
Thanks.
296
00:12:11,735 --> 00:12:13,736
Yeah.
Now let's just...
297
00:12:13,737 --> 00:12:15,738
We'll go get drunk
before the stag, okay?
298
00:12:15,739 --> 00:12:16,739
You'll feel better.
299
00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:18,206
Okay.
300
00:12:20,476 --> 00:12:22,144
She's watching.
301
00:12:22,145 --> 00:12:24,547
You think she's having second
thoughts?
302
00:12:24,548 --> 00:12:25,848
I don't know.
I don't know.
303
00:12:25,849 --> 00:12:27,883
I don't know, but you know what?
304
00:12:27,884 --> 00:12:29,151
You know what?
305
00:12:29,152 --> 00:12:31,087
Now's your chance
to leave with pride.
306
00:12:31,088 --> 00:12:33,756
Let her watch you leave.
307
00:12:33,757 --> 00:12:36,859
Let her wonder
if she made the mistake.
308
00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:37,860
Right.
Right?
309
00:12:37,861 --> 00:12:38,861
Yeah. Pride.
310
00:12:38,862 --> 00:12:40,062
Yeah.
Right.
311
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:41,797
Yeah.
312
00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:45,835
What the fuck are you doing?
313
00:12:45,836 --> 00:12:48,137
I don't know.
314
00:12:48,138 --> 00:12:49,805
Aw, this is fuckin' embarrassing.
315
00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:51,307
I know.
316
00:12:51,308 --> 00:12:53,476
"Park, Brights..."
317
00:12:53,477 --> 00:12:54,710
Who's that?
318
00:12:55,879 --> 00:12:57,713
Aw, cripes.
That's him.
319
00:13:03,452 --> 00:13:05,154
Son of a...
320
00:13:05,155 --> 00:13:07,556
Wow.
He's pretty cool.
321
00:13:07,557 --> 00:13:09,458
Oh.
322
00:13:10,994 --> 00:13:13,763
I don't think she's
having second thoughts.
323
00:13:13,764 --> 00:13:15,331
Not only are you fired,
324
00:13:15,332 --> 00:13:16,999
the second he un-jams
this door,
325
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,267
I'm gonna wring your fuckin' neck.
326
00:13:18,268 --> 00:13:20,269
Hey, man, I said
I was sorry, okay?
327
00:13:20,270 --> 00:13:22,772
I was just in character,
and I slammed it.
328
00:13:22,773 --> 00:13:24,440
Character?
You're an extra!
329
00:13:24,441 --> 00:13:27,610
You're a sack of meat that
happened to fit the damn jumpsuit!
330
00:13:27,611 --> 00:13:29,145
Hey, man, I'm an actor.
331
00:13:29,146 --> 00:13:30,446
I was just
in the moment, you know?
332
00:13:30,447 --> 00:13:31,781
So sue me.
333
00:13:31,782 --> 00:13:33,649
Oh, we're already
drawing up the paperwork.
334
00:13:33,650 --> 00:13:36,184
Okay, so you can sue me.
335
00:13:37,486 --> 00:13:40,656
Well, the spring is busted.
336
00:13:40,657 --> 00:13:43,959
The frame is jammed
into the concrete base.
337
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,561
So how long?
338
00:13:45,562 --> 00:13:47,863
You know, they don't really
make them like this anymore.
339
00:13:47,864 --> 00:13:49,198
I gotta get a guy
340
00:13:49,199 --> 00:13:51,767
to come in from another
district, so if we...
341
00:13:51,768 --> 00:13:53,636
How long?
342
00:13:53,637 --> 00:13:54,970
At least three hours.
343
00:13:54,971 --> 00:13:57,306
Oh, well that is just great!
344
00:13:57,307 --> 00:13:58,541
Great!
345
00:13:58,542 --> 00:14:01,811
All right, guys,
uh, we'll be taking
346
00:14:01,812 --> 00:14:04,413
a three-hour break.
Looks like, uh...
347
00:14:04,414 --> 00:14:05,614
we're gonna be
working into the night
348
00:14:05,615 --> 00:14:06,916
to make up for lost time.
349
00:14:14,424 --> 00:14:18,794
Hey, can someone just grab my
cell phone from my jacket?
350
00:14:20,297 --> 00:14:23,332
It's over there in my jacket.
351
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,000
Carl!
What the fuck man?
352
00:14:25,001 --> 00:14:26,969
This is like the fifth message
I left for you.
353
00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:28,737
I'm starting
to freak out over here.
354
00:14:28,738 --> 00:14:30,506
I just need to make sure
that you're gonna be there
355
00:14:30,507 --> 00:14:33,708
for me tonight, all right?
I'm counting on you.
356
00:14:35,511 --> 00:14:36,512
Good night, Ken.
357
00:14:36,513 --> 00:14:37,980
Oh, God! Aah!
358
00:14:37,981 --> 00:14:40,783
Jesus, Mary,
what's the matter with you?
359
00:14:40,784 --> 00:14:42,184
Are you okay?
360
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:44,453
You've been acting
really weird all day.
361
00:14:44,454 --> 00:14:45,488
I need to talk to you.
362
00:14:45,489 --> 00:14:46,555
No, no, no, no.
363
00:14:46,556 --> 00:14:48,224
Yes, yes, yes.
I really do have to go.
364
00:14:48,225 --> 00:14:50,825
Listen to me.
It is your job.
365
00:14:57,233 --> 00:14:59,268
We've been working
together for a while now.
366
00:14:59,269 --> 00:15:00,669
What's it been, two years?
367
00:15:00,670 --> 00:15:02,171
Four years.
368
00:15:02,172 --> 00:15:04,473
And you are definitely qualified
369
00:15:04,474 --> 00:15:06,642
to answer this question
because you know me.
370
00:15:06,643 --> 00:15:09,411
Oh, I don't think I like
where this is going.
371
00:15:09,412 --> 00:15:10,880
You have a tendency
to speak you mind a lot.
372
00:15:10,881 --> 00:15:12,248
We both know this.
373
00:15:12,249 --> 00:15:14,049
It's gotten you in trouble
quite a few times.
374
00:15:14,050 --> 00:15:16,252
I really don't like
where this is going.
375
00:15:16,253 --> 00:15:17,553
So I'm gonna ask you this,
376
00:15:17,554 --> 00:15:19,221
and I want you to be
completely honest with me.
377
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:23,191
I need you to be
point blank, all right?
378
00:15:23,993 --> 00:15:25,528
Am I a dick?
379
00:15:25,529 --> 00:15:26,829
Yes.
380
00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:29,532
No, I'm...
That was the question.
381
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:30,533
I'm asking you.
382
00:15:30,534 --> 00:15:32,401
Ken, you're a dick.
383
00:15:32,402 --> 00:15:34,270
You're the kind of dick who
thinks he's a funny dick,
384
00:15:34,271 --> 00:15:36,372
so he pulls jackass dick pranks
385
00:15:36,373 --> 00:15:37,673
on his friends and coworkers
386
00:15:37,674 --> 00:15:38,941
that really only get laughs
387
00:15:38,942 --> 00:15:41,477
out of the other dicks
in the office.
388
00:15:41,478 --> 00:15:43,279
Well, that is until
those dicks are sitting
389
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:44,680
having their dick lunch
at the dick table
390
00:15:44,681 --> 00:15:47,016
with their dick friends
shaking their dick heads
391
00:15:47,017 --> 00:15:51,687
in amazement at what a bigger
dick you are than all of them.
392
00:15:51,688 --> 00:15:54,790
So, yes, Ken, you are a dick.
393
00:15:54,791 --> 00:15:56,191
Cool?
394
00:15:56,192 --> 00:15:57,660
Yeah, thank you very much.
395
00:16:00,764 --> 00:16:02,463
♪ Just come on
396
00:16:04,266 --> 00:16:06,467
♪ Here we go now
397
00:16:09,038 --> 00:16:11,339
Come on, it's 5:00.
398
00:16:14,009 --> 00:16:17,945
Oh, shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit.
399
00:16:18,814 --> 00:16:20,416
Oh, shit, shit!
Luke?
400
00:16:20,417 --> 00:16:21,283
Shit, shit!
401
00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:22,484
Luke!
Shit, shit.
402
00:16:22,485 --> 00:16:24,452
It's me, Marsha!
403
00:16:26,555 --> 00:16:28,724
Hi!
Hey, Marsha.
404
00:16:28,725 --> 00:16:29,858
How are you?
405
00:16:29,859 --> 00:16:31,226
Good!
406
00:16:31,227 --> 00:16:33,195
We're just coming back
from Busy Bee.
407
00:16:33,196 --> 00:16:35,097
You know, you guys have
to take Isabelle there.
408
00:16:35,098 --> 00:16:36,398
It is so cathartic.
409
00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:38,834
Yeah, well, you know what?
We will make a date.
410
00:16:38,835 --> 00:16:40,102
I'll tell Liz, and we'll all go.
411
00:16:40,103 --> 00:16:41,103
So, good to see you.
412
00:16:41,104 --> 00:16:42,538
Yes!
Yeah, yeah.
413
00:16:42,539 --> 00:16:45,140
Uh, what brings you
to this neck of the woods?
414
00:16:57,052 --> 00:16:59,855
Shopping. Shopping.
415
00:16:59,856 --> 00:17:01,290
For, uh, Liz.
416
00:17:01,291 --> 00:17:04,193
Shopping for Liz,
because I love her so much.
417
00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:06,428
That is the sweetest thing ever.
418
00:17:06,429 --> 00:17:07,262
Isn't it?
419
00:17:07,263 --> 00:17:09,531
Hi. Are you Luke?
420
00:17:09,532 --> 00:17:12,001
No. No!
421
00:17:12,002 --> 00:17:13,636
No. Yes!
I'm Luke.
422
00:17:13,637 --> 00:17:16,971
I'm not the Luke that she...
Oh.
423
00:17:38,894 --> 00:17:42,663
So celebrities read
those magazines, too, huh?
424
00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:46,068
Cool.
425
00:17:46,069 --> 00:17:48,069
Totally cool.
426
00:17:49,204 --> 00:17:51,373
You ever...
427
00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:53,541
read any articles
about yourself in there?
428
00:17:56,311 --> 00:17:59,046
Yeah, course, you probably do.
429
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,816
That must be cool.
430
00:18:02,985 --> 00:18:05,120
I'd love to be
in a magazine like that.
431
00:18:05,121 --> 00:18:07,790
Love it.
432
00:18:07,791 --> 00:18:09,457
Be awesome.
433
00:18:10,192 --> 00:18:13,062
Oh, except, of course,
434
00:18:13,063 --> 00:18:14,897
that whole thing when you
435
00:18:14,898 --> 00:18:19,066
went out and you didn't
have any underwear on.
436
00:18:20,369 --> 00:18:22,837
They got those pictures.
437
00:18:24,106 --> 00:18:27,209
That sucked, but...
438
00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:29,044
Ever since then,
I always make sure
439
00:18:29,045 --> 00:18:30,512
I have underpants on when I go out.
440
00:18:30,513 --> 00:18:31,914
Okay, you know what?
441
00:18:31,915 --> 00:18:33,582
Why don't you just stay over there
442
00:18:33,583 --> 00:18:34,983
on your side of the elevator,
443
00:18:34,984 --> 00:18:36,285
and I'll stay right here
on my side,
444
00:18:36,286 --> 00:18:38,587
and we'll just be
as quiet as we can be
445
00:18:38,588 --> 00:18:40,355
until the guy comes
to let us out, okay?
446
00:18:40,356 --> 00:18:43,225
Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
447
00:18:43,226 --> 00:18:44,560
Totally cool.
448
00:18:44,561 --> 00:18:46,628
Should, um...
449
00:18:46,629 --> 00:18:49,064
Should work on
my screenplay anyway.
450
00:18:49,065 --> 00:18:50,933
Kinda my passion right now.
451
00:18:50,934 --> 00:18:53,168
Oh, my God.
452
00:18:57,974 --> 00:18:59,908
That is when my dad walked in
453
00:18:59,909 --> 00:19:02,077
and literally caught us
454
00:19:02,078 --> 00:19:04,046
rolling the joints
in the moment, so...
455
00:19:04,047 --> 00:19:05,781
Yeah, awkward.
456
00:19:05,782 --> 00:19:09,084
That's hilarious.
How long ago was that?
457
00:19:09,085 --> 00:19:11,852
Oh, jeez, um...
458
00:19:12,654 --> 00:19:14,990
Wow. 17 years ago.
459
00:19:14,991 --> 00:19:17,626
Oh, wow.
17 years ago.
460
00:19:17,627 --> 00:19:19,828
I was 6 when that happened,
461
00:19:19,829 --> 00:19:22,998
which is the same age as your...
462
00:19:22,999 --> 00:19:24,733
Same age as my daughter.
463
00:19:24,734 --> 00:19:26,034
Wow.
464
00:19:26,035 --> 00:19:27,768
Hmm.
465
00:19:28,537 --> 00:19:30,873
I mean, my dad's, you know...
466
00:19:30,874 --> 00:19:33,342
He's usually pretty...
What are you doing?
467
00:19:33,343 --> 00:19:36,645
Oh, I'm a bit of a Web nerd.
468
00:19:36,646 --> 00:19:38,080
Yeah.
469
00:19:38,081 --> 00:19:40,783
So, you're married?
470
00:19:40,784 --> 00:19:41,850
Yes.
471
00:19:41,851 --> 00:19:43,585
Happily married?
472
00:19:43,586 --> 00:19:45,254
Yeah.
473
00:19:45,255 --> 00:19:47,055
Yeah. Yes.
474
00:19:47,056 --> 00:19:49,291
I mean, yeah.
I mean, every...
475
00:19:49,292 --> 00:19:52,327
Every marriage goes
through a difficult period,
476
00:19:52,328 --> 00:19:55,531
and you just work through the...
477
00:19:55,532 --> 00:19:58,133
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm-I'm-I'm happily married.
478
00:19:58,134 --> 00:19:59,234
Yeah.
479
00:19:59,235 --> 00:20:02,003
Do you... ever play?
480
00:20:09,044 --> 00:20:10,112
Sports?
481
00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:16,885
Oh, I should probably
get you downstairs,
482
00:20:16,886 --> 00:20:20,022
you know, 'cause you gotta get, um...
Right.
483
00:20:20,023 --> 00:20:21,223
Stripping... Um...
484
00:20:21,224 --> 00:20:22,391
Are you gonna be warm enough?
485
00:20:22,392 --> 00:20:23,692
When you're down there, you think?
486
00:20:23,693 --> 00:20:26,061
Aw, for fuck's sake, Henry!
487
00:20:26,062 --> 00:20:27,796
People grow apart!
488
00:20:27,797 --> 00:20:29,698
Besides, that guy's
nothing like you, right?
489
00:20:29,699 --> 00:20:32,868
He's a total badass, and
you're a fuckin' sweetheart.
490
00:20:32,869 --> 00:20:35,871
Yeah. God, I wish
I was more like you.
491
00:20:35,872 --> 00:20:37,239
Sure.
492
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,708
This tough-skinned guy that
never lets anything get to him.
493
00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:42,578
Ah, I know.
494
00:20:42,579 --> 00:20:45,380
What kind of woman wants a tough
guy, bad boy like that anyway?
495
00:20:45,381 --> 00:20:47,182
Exactly. Pfft!
496
00:20:47,183 --> 00:20:49,418
See the truck?
Piece of shit.
497
00:20:49,419 --> 00:20:50,686
Tough on gas, I bet.
498
00:20:50,687 --> 00:20:52,688
Fuck it!
Let him have her, right?
499
00:20:52,689 --> 00:20:54,289
You just need to find somebody
500
00:20:54,290 --> 00:20:56,091
who suits you, that's all.
501
00:20:56,092 --> 00:20:57,292
For who I am.
502
00:20:57,293 --> 00:20:59,261
Yeah.
503
00:20:59,262 --> 00:21:00,529
Or I could become tough.
504
00:21:00,530 --> 00:21:02,531
Oh, for fuck's sake.
505
00:21:02,532 --> 00:21:04,231
Like Jason Statham.
506
00:21:07,469 --> 00:21:09,137
Why not?
507
00:21:09,138 --> 00:21:10,472
Why not?
508
00:21:10,473 --> 00:21:12,241
Because you can't
just become tough, Henry.
509
00:21:12,242 --> 00:21:13,842
You know, you're just kinda...
510
00:21:13,843 --> 00:21:15,611
You're born with it.
You have it, or you don't.
511
00:21:15,612 --> 00:21:18,280
What you gotta do is just focus
all your fuckin' energy
512
00:21:18,281 --> 00:21:21,416
on finding a woman
who loves you for you.
513
00:21:21,417 --> 00:21:25,087
But who I am never gets
the woman he wants.
514
00:21:25,088 --> 00:21:26,822
I should rethink who I am.
515
00:21:26,823 --> 00:21:28,824
Jesus, can we just
get fucking drunk, okay?
516
00:21:28,825 --> 00:21:31,260
And drop all
this psycho mumbo jumbo.
517
00:21:31,261 --> 00:21:32,828
What's with your chest?
518
00:21:32,829 --> 00:21:34,463
I think I pulled
a muscle trying to lift
519
00:21:34,464 --> 00:21:37,065
your fucking spirits all day.
Now let's get drunk!
520
00:21:37,066 --> 00:21:38,533
Hang on. Hang on.
What?
521
00:21:38,534 --> 00:21:40,702
Just another question.
522
00:21:40,703 --> 00:21:42,337
I should probably warn you
that these guys
523
00:21:42,338 --> 00:21:44,206
can get a little wild.
524
00:21:44,207 --> 00:21:46,141
I've been drinking with most
of them since high school,
525
00:21:46,142 --> 00:21:47,843
and you know what?
526
00:21:47,844 --> 00:21:51,280
A few of them can get a
little crazy. Just a heads up.
527
00:21:51,281 --> 00:21:53,382
Am I safe?
528
00:21:53,383 --> 00:21:54,650
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
529
00:21:54,651 --> 00:21:57,686
I mean, I think
you should be fine.
530
00:21:57,687 --> 00:21:59,087
Great.
531
00:21:59,088 --> 00:22:01,590
Don't worry about it.
I'll keep my eyes on you.
532
00:22:01,591 --> 00:22:03,258
Ahem. I mean, not
when you're stripping.
533
00:22:03,259 --> 00:22:04,693
I don't mean that
to be creepy at all.
534
00:22:04,694 --> 00:22:06,495
Like, I'll wash your back.
Watch your back.
535
00:22:06,496 --> 00:22:08,630
You're clean. I don't
need to wash your back.
536
00:22:08,631 --> 00:22:10,699
I don't want the guys
to see me like this.
537
00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:13,502
Say something nice.
Boost my spirits.
538
00:22:13,503 --> 00:22:15,237
Your hair looks great.
539
00:22:15,238 --> 00:22:16,338
Thank you.
540
00:22:16,339 --> 00:22:18,507
Like a...
Like a sports guy.
541
00:22:18,508 --> 00:22:21,976
Yes. See? Was that so hard?
Let's go.
542
00:22:23,712 --> 00:22:25,948
I'll see you downstairs.
543
00:22:25,949 --> 00:22:27,249
Aah!
544
00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:28,750
Oh, my God!
545
00:22:29,552 --> 00:22:30,786
Oh, my God!
546
00:22:30,787 --> 00:22:32,287
Let's tickle this Wild Turkey!
547
00:22:32,288 --> 00:22:33,622
Ah ha ha!
548
00:22:33,623 --> 00:22:34,923
Oh... what's up?
549
00:22:34,924 --> 00:22:36,892
Surprised the wife
let you out tonight.
550
00:22:36,893 --> 00:22:39,461
Please, like I need to ask
permission to leave my home.
551
00:22:39,462 --> 00:22:41,762
Did you tell her
you're working late?
552
00:22:43,298 --> 00:22:45,033
Surprised you're out, eh?
553
00:22:45,034 --> 00:22:47,402
Thought this guy'd be home
begging for a pity fuck.
554
00:22:52,374 --> 00:22:54,041
What?
555
00:22:55,210 --> 00:22:56,545
See you guys downstairs.
556
00:22:56,546 --> 00:22:59,514
Yeah. Yep, we'll
see you down there, Henry.
557
00:22:59,515 --> 00:23:01,383
What's going on?
558
00:23:01,384 --> 00:23:02,751
Nice.
559
00:23:02,752 --> 00:23:03,618
What'd I do?
560
00:23:03,619 --> 00:23:05,120
Fucking guy got dumped today.
561
00:23:05,121 --> 00:23:06,888
Oh, my God, again?
562
00:23:06,889 --> 00:23:08,156
Yeah. Poor fucker.
563
00:23:08,157 --> 00:23:10,425
I've been listening to him
piss and moan all day.
564
00:23:10,426 --> 00:23:13,328
Aw, jeez. Well...
565
00:23:13,329 --> 00:23:17,466
who knows, I mean, maybe now he'll
finally realize the truth, huh?
566
00:23:17,467 --> 00:23:20,268
The truth.
The truth about what?
567
00:23:20,269 --> 00:23:22,037
Hello? He's gay.
568
00:23:22,038 --> 00:23:22,971
What?
569
00:23:22,972 --> 00:23:24,506
What the fuck
are you talking about?
570
00:23:24,507 --> 00:23:25,874
Henry's not gay.
571
00:23:25,875 --> 00:23:27,609
Are you serious?
You've never thought...
572
00:23:27,610 --> 00:23:29,811
No! No! I think
you're fucking gay
573
00:23:29,812 --> 00:23:31,380
for thinking
that he's fucking gay!
574
00:23:31,381 --> 00:23:33,682
That dude has been my best
friend since grade four, Luke!
575
00:23:33,683 --> 00:23:35,350
Grade fucking four!
576
00:23:35,351 --> 00:23:38,720
And as you know, I'm not a big
fuckin' fan of the homos!
577
00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:40,689
Easy, okay. Homophobic.
578
00:23:40,690 --> 00:23:43,091
Easy. I'm sorry, all right?
I just thought...
579
00:23:43,092 --> 00:23:44,393
No, you didn't think.
580
00:23:44,394 --> 00:23:46,361
That's the problem.
You didn't think.
581
00:23:46,362 --> 00:23:49,231
Just 'cause the guy's got a
little bit of a pussy handicap,
582
00:23:49,232 --> 00:23:51,666
that doesn't automatically
make him a faggot, you know.
583
00:23:51,667 --> 00:23:53,702
Okay, all right,
I'm sorry, all right?
584
00:23:53,703 --> 00:23:55,904
Fine.
Let's go.
585
00:23:55,905 --> 00:23:57,939
By the way, faggot?
Not so PC anymore.
586
00:23:57,940 --> 00:23:59,775
♪ One of the money,
two for the show ♪
587
00:23:59,776 --> 00:24:02,611
♪ Three to get ready,
four for the dough ♪
588
00:24:05,782 --> 00:24:07,348
Luke!
589
00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:11,586
So, no sign of Ken or Carl.
590
00:24:11,587 --> 00:24:12,921
Hey, look, Henry, I'm really sorry
591
00:24:12,922 --> 00:24:14,489
about what I said upstairs,
all right?
592
00:24:14,490 --> 00:24:17,092
So, can we just let that go,
bust loose tonight?
593
00:24:17,093 --> 00:24:18,627
Hey, did you guys bring
the stencil?
594
00:24:18,628 --> 00:24:19,961
No, we didn't.
595
00:24:19,962 --> 00:24:22,196
God damn it!
Okay, what about the Viagra?
596
00:24:23,298 --> 00:24:25,700
Oh, come on.
597
00:24:25,701 --> 00:24:27,301
Okay, let me think.
598
00:24:29,438 --> 00:24:31,073
Just like old times, huh, boys?
599
00:24:31,074 --> 00:24:33,608
Huh? Have some drinks,
get a little crazy,
600
00:24:33,609 --> 00:24:35,010
maybe prank Ken,
601
00:24:35,011 --> 00:24:37,546
and then we'll
definitely see some pussy!
602
00:24:37,547 --> 00:24:39,781
Uncle Luke?
603
00:24:39,782 --> 00:24:41,583
Pam.
604
00:24:41,584 --> 00:24:43,118
What are you...
605
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:46,354
I had a... I was just here
for a dinner up...
606
00:24:46,355 --> 00:24:48,090
A business dinner upstairs.
607
00:24:48,091 --> 00:24:50,859
Yeah. Then I just came down
to use the bathroom.
608
00:24:50,860 --> 00:24:53,829
So... yeah, these are
friends I ran into.
609
00:24:53,830 --> 00:24:54,930
Hey.
610
00:24:54,931 --> 00:24:57,599
Yeah, it's good.
You're working here?
611
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:01,069
Well, that's good.
How's Mom? How's your mom?
612
00:25:03,606 --> 00:25:05,406
♪ Okay
613
00:25:10,312 --> 00:25:11,580
Rory! Psst!
614
00:25:11,581 --> 00:25:13,248
You seen Carl?
615
00:25:13,249 --> 00:25:14,950
Hey, look! Ken's here!
616
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:18,753
Oh, hey!
617
00:25:18,754 --> 00:25:20,155
There he is!
618
00:25:20,156 --> 00:25:22,324
The man taking
the death march, huh?
619
00:25:23,860 --> 00:25:24,926
Holy shit.
620
00:25:24,927 --> 00:25:26,761
Where's Carl?
Have you seen... Carl!
621
00:25:26,762 --> 00:25:28,597
Look, People are gonna
be looking for me!
622
00:25:28,598 --> 00:25:30,232
No, no, no, like you're
walking down the aisle,
623
00:25:30,233 --> 00:25:31,566
getting married.
624
00:25:31,567 --> 00:25:33,135
You're taking
the death march, okay?
625
00:25:33,136 --> 00:25:34,336
The death march?
626
00:25:34,337 --> 00:25:35,904
Oh!
627
00:25:35,905 --> 00:25:37,506
Scared! Scared!
628
00:25:37,507 --> 00:25:39,141
Shut up, okay?
629
00:25:39,142 --> 00:25:41,409
'Cause I know why you guys
are here, all right?
630
00:25:41,410 --> 00:25:42,711
I'm gonna tell
you something right now,
631
00:25:42,712 --> 00:25:44,946
whatever you've concocted
to fuck me up,
632
00:25:44,947 --> 00:25:47,616
it's not gonna work.
It's not gonna work!
633
00:25:47,617 --> 00:25:50,752
'Cause I'm gonna be
on point like a sniper.
634
00:25:50,753 --> 00:25:51,953
I am going to be...
635
00:25:51,954 --> 00:25:53,555
You scared him.
Sharp as a tack!
636
00:25:53,556 --> 00:25:54,723
I want to talk to you a second.
637
00:25:54,724 --> 00:25:56,191
Whatever
you got planned, sorry!
638
00:25:56,192 --> 00:25:57,859
I'm gonna bust
your bubble right now,
639
00:25:57,860 --> 00:25:59,828
'cause you're not
gonna get me tonight.
640
00:25:59,829 --> 00:26:01,897
It's not... It's not gonna
work out for you.
641
00:26:01,898 --> 00:26:04,499
Look, Henry, you gotta
do me a favor, okay?
642
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:05,834
You gotta... You gotta
try to man up a bit.
643
00:26:05,835 --> 00:26:07,135
What do you mean?
644
00:26:07,136 --> 00:26:08,870
You know, just kind of
grow some fucking balls,
645
00:26:08,871 --> 00:26:10,572
act a little tougher.
646
00:26:10,573 --> 00:26:14,009
Yes! I need to toughen up so
that I can get more ladies,
647
00:26:14,010 --> 00:26:17,078
and, you know,
the-the-the pussy
648
00:26:17,079 --> 00:26:18,146
and stuff like that.
649
00:26:18,147 --> 00:26:19,548
Why do you keep
rubbing your chest?
650
00:26:19,549 --> 00:26:20,682
Is your shirt soft?
It is soft.
651
00:26:20,683 --> 00:26:23,418
Just stick close
by me tonight, okay?
652
00:26:23,419 --> 00:26:26,054
Watch what I do and try
to pretend to be tougher.
653
00:26:26,055 --> 00:26:27,689
Yes! I should get
a shirt like yours.
654
00:26:27,690 --> 00:26:29,891
Stop being so obsessed
with my fucking shirt!
655
00:26:29,892 --> 00:26:31,593
Why are you so angry?
I'm not angry!
656
00:26:31,594 --> 00:26:33,028
Angry. I know
when you're angry.
657
00:26:33,029 --> 00:26:34,262
I'm not!
658
00:26:34,263 --> 00:26:36,264
I know when something's
bothering you,
659
00:26:36,265 --> 00:26:37,598
so just out with it.
660
00:26:39,568 --> 00:26:42,204
Okay, okay.
661
00:26:42,205 --> 00:26:45,974
But I swear to God, if you
say anything to anybody,
662
00:26:45,975 --> 00:26:47,742
I will bite out
your fucking tongue
663
00:26:47,743 --> 00:26:49,277
and I will spit it
right up your asshole.
664
00:26:49,278 --> 00:26:52,113
Yeah, still sounds
angry though, but okay.
665
00:26:52,114 --> 00:26:55,016
That's just how I talk.
Okay.
666
00:26:55,017 --> 00:26:58,952
Okay, last week I was running to
catch this bus, right? And...
667
00:27:01,223 --> 00:27:02,991
I felt shit jiggle.
668
00:27:02,992 --> 00:27:04,992
Okay.
669
00:27:07,762 --> 00:27:09,030
Oh, that's it.
670
00:27:09,031 --> 00:27:10,599
Yeah.
671
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,668
Oh, Paul, um, that's what
happens when you get older.
672
00:27:13,669 --> 00:27:14,836
I mean, stuff starts to jiggle.
673
00:27:14,837 --> 00:27:16,304
Henry, this is me.
674
00:27:16,305 --> 00:27:17,906
I never used to give a shit
about any of that stuff.
675
00:27:17,907 --> 00:27:19,407
I never cared how I looked.
676
00:27:19,408 --> 00:27:21,142
Now I'm walking around
like half a faggot all the time,
677
00:27:21,143 --> 00:27:23,044
worried about being out of
shape and out of breath,
678
00:27:23,045 --> 00:27:24,813
and I get these fucking
pains in my chest!
679
00:27:24,814 --> 00:27:26,314
Wait, what? What?
680
00:27:26,315 --> 00:27:27,249
Oh.
681
00:27:27,250 --> 00:27:29,050
You have pains in your chest?
682
00:27:29,051 --> 00:27:30,986
Yeah, it's nothing.
I just...
683
00:27:30,987 --> 00:27:32,954
I get this pain in the ass
pain in my chest.
684
00:27:32,955 --> 00:27:37,759
I swear to God,
if you fucking tell anybody.
685
00:27:41,329 --> 00:27:42,530
It's gas.
686
00:27:42,531 --> 00:27:44,332
You're fucking dead.
687
00:27:44,333 --> 00:27:46,935
You're gonna want to release that.
Mm-hmm.
688
00:27:46,936 --> 00:27:50,171
My advice, go home,
drink some ginger ale,
689
00:27:50,172 --> 00:27:51,373
drop a couple
of Alka-Seltzer,
690
00:27:51,374 --> 00:27:53,775
let nature do the rest.
691
00:27:53,776 --> 00:27:54,876
You boys play safe.
692
00:27:54,877 --> 00:27:56,778
Thank you. Sweet.
693
00:27:56,779 --> 00:27:58,613
You're not the stripper?
694
00:27:58,614 --> 00:28:01,049
Can I get my $20 back?
695
00:28:01,050 --> 00:28:04,152
Man! Friggin'
writer's block!
696
00:28:04,153 --> 00:28:06,855
Uhh!
697
00:28:06,856 --> 00:28:07,922
Been working on this screenplay
698
00:28:07,923 --> 00:28:09,858
for, like, 11 years.
699
00:28:09,859 --> 00:28:12,594
Stuck in this writer's
block for, like...
700
00:28:12,595 --> 00:28:14,496
eight years.
701
00:28:14,497 --> 00:28:16,164
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
702
00:28:16,165 --> 00:28:18,199
I'll tell you the part
I'm stuck at.
703
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:22,003
The, uh, hero dog, he's a Bouvier,
704
00:28:22,004 --> 00:28:24,439
takes off from his
owner's house, right?
705
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,408
And joins up with all
these neighborhood dogs
706
00:28:26,409 --> 00:28:27,809
to go on an adventure.
707
00:28:27,810 --> 00:28:29,944
So they're in this alleyway,
708
00:28:29,945 --> 00:28:31,479
and they find this red wine,
709
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:35,016
then they go to this crazy
humping party, right?
710
00:28:35,017 --> 00:28:37,552
So they're all,
like, doggy-wasted
711
00:28:37,553 --> 00:28:39,988
and having an amazing time,
712
00:28:39,989 --> 00:28:41,623
and everyone thinks that Barney...
713
00:28:41,624 --> 00:28:43,658
Oh, that's the Bouvier.
714
00:28:43,659 --> 00:28:45,660
Barney the Bouvier.
715
00:28:45,661 --> 00:28:46,961
Everyone thinks he's, uh,
716
00:28:46,962 --> 00:28:48,997
just, like, the coolest
doggy dude, right?
717
00:28:48,998 --> 00:28:50,732
'Cause, well, he scored the booze,
718
00:28:50,733 --> 00:28:56,304
and, uh, he's just this,
like, good-looking beast.
719
00:28:56,305 --> 00:29:01,176
So Barney's checking out this
hot poodle's ass, right?
720
00:29:01,177 --> 00:29:03,178
When all of a sudden, bam!
721
00:29:03,179 --> 00:29:04,846
Someone kicks the door in!
722
00:29:04,847 --> 00:29:05,947
The dog catcher?
723
00:29:05,948 --> 00:29:08,183
What do you mean?
724
00:29:08,184 --> 00:29:10,051
Who came in to get the dogs?
725
00:29:10,052 --> 00:29:13,722
Oh, no, no.
It was Barney's owners
726
00:29:13,723 --> 00:29:15,490
and their little daughter.
727
00:29:15,491 --> 00:29:19,361
So the owners come in, and
they slap the collar on him,
728
00:29:19,362 --> 00:29:21,229
and they start
hauling him off, right?
729
00:29:21,230 --> 00:29:24,165
And then it's, like,
cue dramatic music,
730
00:29:24,166 --> 00:29:27,369
like "the emperor has
fallen" type stuff, right?
731
00:29:28,571 --> 00:29:31,606
But the kid is happier
than shit now, right?
732
00:29:31,607 --> 00:29:33,641
She's just draped all over Barney
733
00:29:33,642 --> 00:29:35,443
just hugging and kissing him.
734
00:29:35,444 --> 00:29:37,712
Barney's not cluing
into the kid, though.
735
00:29:37,713 --> 00:29:40,148
He turns to the hot poodle,
736
00:29:40,149 --> 00:29:42,784
and just as he's leaving, he says,
737
00:29:42,785 --> 00:29:44,486
"Being owned sucks."
738
00:29:46,789 --> 00:29:48,923
That's all I got.
739
00:29:53,562 --> 00:29:55,797
Gas. Wow.
740
00:29:55,798 --> 00:29:57,198
That's a relief, huh?
741
00:29:57,199 --> 00:29:58,800
Whatever.
742
00:29:58,801 --> 00:30:00,235
Whatever.
You're telling me
743
00:30:00,236 --> 00:30:02,804
you're not relieved
it's not a heart attack?
744
00:30:02,805 --> 00:30:05,373
It's gas, Henry.
745
00:30:05,374 --> 00:30:07,175
It's fucking gas.
746
00:30:07,176 --> 00:30:10,311
What do I look like,
a grandpa? Jesus.
747
00:30:10,312 --> 00:30:12,914
And I keep gettin' this heartburn.
748
00:30:12,915 --> 00:30:15,183
Lately, I've been tryin'
to hide this bald spot,
749
00:30:15,184 --> 00:30:17,519
and I got fuckin' man tits
that jiggle when I run.
750
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:19,187
I mean,
I'm 30-fucking-7.
751
00:30:19,188 --> 00:30:21,890
I gotta say, pal, it is refreshing
752
00:30:21,891 --> 00:30:23,525
to see this side of you.
753
00:30:23,526 --> 00:30:25,326
This... sensitive side.
754
00:30:25,327 --> 00:30:27,762
Let's us all know
there's a big old heart
755
00:30:27,763 --> 00:30:29,931
beating in that
burly chest of yours.
756
00:30:29,932 --> 00:30:31,933
Henry, keep it down, okay?
757
00:30:31,934 --> 00:30:34,235
And cut that flowery shit out.
758
00:30:34,236 --> 00:30:35,470
It is funny.
759
00:30:35,471 --> 00:30:38,440
You know, here I am trying
to mend a broken heart.
760
00:30:38,441 --> 00:30:41,476
And you're worried
about yours breaking.
761
00:30:41,477 --> 00:30:43,545
Okay, we gotta toughen
you up right fucking now!
762
00:30:43,546 --> 00:30:45,412
Okay, yes! I'm game.
763
00:30:46,581 --> 00:30:47,949
Here's the plan.
764
00:30:47,950 --> 00:30:49,784
Okay, you see that babe with Luke?
Mm-hmm.
765
00:30:49,785 --> 00:30:50,885
She's the stripper.
766
00:30:50,886 --> 00:30:52,187
She's pretty.
767
00:30:52,188 --> 00:30:53,588
She's been hired
to flirt with these losers
768
00:30:53,589 --> 00:30:56,424
and give them boners,
so they'll buy more booze.
769
00:30:56,425 --> 00:30:57,692
Okay.
770
00:30:57,693 --> 00:30:58,960
Go hit on her.
771
00:30:58,961 --> 00:31:00,895
But... Wait, what?
772
00:31:00,896 --> 00:31:02,597
No, she's...
She's a stripper.
773
00:31:02,598 --> 00:31:03,965
Exactly.
774
00:31:03,966 --> 00:31:05,366
It'll be like learning
how to pick up chicks
775
00:31:05,367 --> 00:31:07,535
with training wheels.
776
00:31:07,536 --> 00:31:08,870
Right.
777
00:31:08,871 --> 00:31:10,438
Yes.
778
00:31:10,439 --> 00:31:13,508
So, just, uh,
hypothetically speaking,
779
00:31:13,509 --> 00:31:17,212
if you were to have a
wild night of adultery...
780
00:31:17,213 --> 00:31:19,113
Oh!
What kind of a...
781
00:31:19,114 --> 00:31:21,214
What kind of girl
would you be into?
782
00:31:22,183 --> 00:31:24,452
No, no, I...
783
00:31:24,453 --> 00:31:26,020
Hey!
784
00:31:26,021 --> 00:31:28,355
Hey! Good. Hi.
785
00:31:30,825 --> 00:31:33,027
Oh! Uh, sorry.
Paul, this is Candy,
786
00:31:33,028 --> 00:31:34,562
and this is Henry, so...
787
00:31:34,563 --> 00:31:35,797
Yeah.
788
00:31:35,798 --> 00:31:37,632
Hey, Lukey, can I talk to you?
789
00:31:37,633 --> 00:31:38,900
Are you okay?
790
00:31:38,901 --> 00:31:39,934
Yeah.
Okay.
791
00:31:39,935 --> 00:31:43,071
Whoops.
792
00:31:43,072 --> 00:31:45,974
Well, it's a pleasure
to make your acquaintance.
793
00:31:45,975 --> 00:31:47,976
Thanks, it's nice
to meet you, too.
794
00:31:47,977 --> 00:31:49,509
Ah! Well...
795
00:31:57,118 --> 00:32:00,654
So, do you, uh...
796
00:32:02,357 --> 00:32:03,824
come here often?
797
00:32:04,692 --> 00:32:05,760
No.
No.
798
00:32:05,761 --> 00:32:07,328
You?
799
00:32:07,329 --> 00:32:08,830
No.
800
00:32:08,831 --> 00:32:11,833
No, me, either.
801
00:32:11,834 --> 00:32:13,668
So we got that in common.
802
00:32:13,669 --> 00:32:15,303
You're the oldest guy
in the group, right?
803
00:32:15,304 --> 00:32:17,505
By, like, a month.
Well, still.
804
00:32:17,506 --> 00:32:21,276
You ever, uh...
805
00:32:21,277 --> 00:32:22,777
You ever think about dying?
806
00:32:22,778 --> 00:32:24,512
Oh, yeah, sure.
807
00:32:24,513 --> 00:32:26,614
Really?
Yeah.
808
00:32:26,615 --> 00:32:28,416
Totally. Yeah.
809
00:32:28,417 --> 00:32:30,151
Especially, like,
ever since Isabelle was born.
810
00:32:30,152 --> 00:32:32,353
Yeah, now we got
another one on the way.
811
00:32:32,354 --> 00:32:33,821
Think about if anything
happened to me,
812
00:32:33,822 --> 00:32:35,089
you know, who would
take care of them?
813
00:32:35,090 --> 00:32:36,925
So you think it's...
it's normal.
814
00:32:36,926 --> 00:32:38,626
It's a normal thing
to think about?
815
00:32:38,627 --> 00:32:40,995
So, uh, how long
have you been in the arts?
816
00:32:40,996 --> 00:32:44,664
Just so you know, private
dances are 60 bucks.
817
00:32:45,867 --> 00:32:47,869
Yeah.
Wow!
818
00:32:47,870 --> 00:32:49,337
Okay.
819
00:32:49,338 --> 00:32:52,307
That's cool.
I mean... cool to me.
820
00:32:52,308 --> 00:32:54,142
Does that include a drink?
821
00:32:56,779 --> 00:32:58,346
You're joking, right?
822
00:32:58,347 --> 00:32:59,480
No, it's part of a prank
we're playing on the groom.
823
00:32:59,481 --> 00:33:00,682
Yeah, I don't think so.
824
00:33:00,683 --> 00:33:02,150
I can pay you for it!
825
00:33:02,151 --> 00:33:04,085
Isn't that something the
stripper should be doing?
826
00:33:04,086 --> 00:33:06,020
Uh, I already asked her
and she passed.
827
00:33:06,021 --> 00:33:08,222
Yeah. Sorry, it's
not my kinda thing.
828
00:33:08,223 --> 00:33:09,791
What's not your thing?
829
00:33:09,792 --> 00:33:11,326
Oh, hey, Ken!
It's not her... She's just...
830
00:33:11,327 --> 00:33:13,760
It was just a very
complicated drink order.
831
00:33:20,201 --> 00:33:22,869
Thank you, Pam.
That will be all for now.
832
00:33:24,238 --> 00:33:25,974
Sometimes I have
trouble grabbing things.
833
00:33:25,975 --> 00:33:27,308
Right.
834
00:33:27,309 --> 00:33:28,977
Still having some
depth perception issues.
835
00:33:28,978 --> 00:33:30,745
Okay, guys, let's play some cards.
836
00:33:30,746 --> 00:33:32,146
Yeah, let's do this!
837
00:33:32,147 --> 00:33:33,915
I think you know most
of the people here.
838
00:33:33,916 --> 00:33:36,150
Not sure if you remember Randy.
839
00:33:36,151 --> 00:33:37,986
No, I don't.
Hey, how you, uh...
840
00:33:37,987 --> 00:33:39,687
Yeah, you actually came to my stag
841
00:33:39,688 --> 00:33:41,122
with a buddy of mine
a couple of years ago.
842
00:33:41,123 --> 00:33:43,291
Oh, cool.
843
00:33:43,292 --> 00:33:45,226
No, not really.
You guys got me drunk
844
00:33:45,227 --> 00:33:47,228
till I passed out,
and then you superglued
845
00:33:47,229 --> 00:33:48,296
some of my fingers together
846
00:33:48,297 --> 00:33:49,497
so all I could do was this.
847
00:33:49,498 --> 00:33:52,200
Live long and prosper.
848
00:33:52,201 --> 00:33:53,901
Yeah.
849
00:33:53,902 --> 00:33:55,203
That must have hurt.
850
00:33:55,204 --> 00:33:56,404
More than you know.
851
00:33:56,405 --> 00:33:58,973
My fiancée realized
I couldn't slip
852
00:33:58,974 --> 00:34:00,108
a wedding ring on my finger,
853
00:34:00,109 --> 00:34:01,376
so she postponed the wedding.
854
00:34:01,377 --> 00:34:02,977
Oh.
855
00:34:02,978 --> 00:34:04,612
I... I, uh...
I had no idea.
856
00:34:04,613 --> 00:34:06,714
Then before we even
got to the altar,
857
00:34:06,715 --> 00:34:08,349
she decided to sleep
with my best friend,
858
00:34:08,350 --> 00:34:10,951
so the wedding was called off.
859
00:34:13,187 --> 00:34:14,856
You know, I remember at my stag...
860
00:34:14,857 --> 00:34:17,792
I was so enraged that I
confronted my ex-best friend,
861
00:34:17,793 --> 00:34:20,762
and in a fury, beat
the crap out of him.
862
00:34:20,763 --> 00:34:22,196
Wow.
863
00:34:22,197 --> 00:34:23,798
I was arrested for assault
864
00:34:23,799 --> 00:34:25,500
and spent 6 months in prison.
865
00:34:25,501 --> 00:34:27,068
It was during that time in jail
866
00:34:27,069 --> 00:34:28,569
that my fingers
finally came unstuck.
867
00:34:28,570 --> 00:34:29,604
Oh.
868
00:34:29,605 --> 00:34:31,973
At least your fingers
are normal again.
869
00:34:31,974 --> 00:34:34,776
Unfortunately, too late
for me to defend myself
870
00:34:34,777 --> 00:34:35,977
against the nightly beatings
871
00:34:35,978 --> 00:34:38,078
I took from gang members.
872
00:34:38,946 --> 00:34:40,780
Bummer.
873
00:34:41,983 --> 00:34:44,719
Randy, I did
a terrible thing to you,
874
00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:46,154
and for that, I'm sorry.
875
00:34:46,155 --> 00:34:48,890
But you have to understand, I
had no idea
876
00:34:48,891 --> 00:34:50,658
what the ramifications would be.
877
00:34:50,659 --> 00:34:53,261
I can only assume you're
here to fuck me up, right?
878
00:34:53,262 --> 00:34:57,430
Hmm. The thought actually
never crossed my mind.
879
00:34:58,032 --> 00:35:00,001
Seriously?
Really?
880
00:35:00,002 --> 00:35:01,335
Why are you here then?
881
00:35:01,336 --> 00:35:05,273
Dude, it's a stag.
882
00:35:05,274 --> 00:35:07,341
Just here to play some cards,
883
00:35:07,342 --> 00:35:09,776
have some beer, and relax.
884
00:35:12,847 --> 00:35:15,348
Great.
885
00:35:19,187 --> 00:35:20,555
I think.
886
00:35:20,556 --> 00:35:22,056
All right, lads, anti in!
887
00:35:22,057 --> 00:35:23,424
♪ Here we go
888
00:35:23,425 --> 00:35:24,892
How the fuck do you fail
889
00:35:24,893 --> 00:35:26,294
at hitting on a stripper?
890
00:35:26,295 --> 00:35:27,562
Are you out of breath?
891
00:35:27,563 --> 00:35:30,031
Shut the fuck up
and answer the question.
892
00:35:30,032 --> 00:35:32,166
I didn't fail.
She's quite nice.
893
00:35:32,167 --> 00:35:34,402
Very good listener.
I think I made a friend.
894
00:35:34,403 --> 00:35:36,137
A friend? She's
a fucking stripper, Henry.
895
00:35:36,138 --> 00:35:37,538
You don't need a friend.
896
00:35:37,539 --> 00:35:39,407
You got a whole basement
full of friends over there.
897
00:35:39,408 --> 00:35:41,409
What you need is someone to bang!
898
00:35:41,410 --> 00:35:43,277
What you need is to reach down
899
00:35:43,278 --> 00:35:45,313
and locate your testosterone
900
00:35:45,314 --> 00:35:46,647
and yank it the fuck up
901
00:35:46,648 --> 00:35:49,283
so that people might
actually see that it exists!
902
00:35:49,284 --> 00:35:51,552
You're right.
903
00:35:51,553 --> 00:35:53,855
Something's gotta change,
and it's gotta change now.
904
00:35:53,856 --> 00:35:54,856
Yeah.
905
00:35:54,857 --> 00:35:56,691
You know, I'm sick
906
00:35:56,692 --> 00:35:58,693
of the ladies loving me
like a brother!
907
00:35:58,694 --> 00:36:00,962
Yeah!
And if I can't score the snatch,
908
00:36:00,963 --> 00:36:04,065
then I'm gonna enter the world
of manly men another way!
909
00:36:04,066 --> 00:36:05,933
That's it!
That's my boy!
910
00:36:05,934 --> 00:36:07,135
Ugh!
911
00:36:07,136 --> 00:36:08,603
It's time to kick some ass!
912
00:36:08,604 --> 00:36:11,272
No. No, it's not.
No, it's not.
913
00:36:11,273 --> 00:36:12,807
Paul? Outta my way,
914
00:36:12,808 --> 00:36:15,909
or your head's gonna be
the first ass I kick.
915
00:36:18,212 --> 00:36:20,348
Okay.
Here.
916
00:36:20,349 --> 00:36:21,616
Okay, go ahead.
917
00:36:21,617 --> 00:36:22,617
Hold these,
918
00:36:22,618 --> 00:36:26,187
'cause this might get ugly.
919
00:36:26,188 --> 00:36:27,754
Definitely.
920
00:36:49,143 --> 00:36:50,710
What'd you say to me?
921
00:36:52,046 --> 00:36:53,580
Huh?
922
00:36:55,750 --> 00:36:56,551
Me?
923
00:36:56,552 --> 00:36:59,620
Yeah, you, troublemaker.
924
00:36:59,621 --> 00:37:02,824
You lookin' for some trouble?
925
00:37:02,825 --> 00:37:04,992
I don't think so.
926
00:37:07,396 --> 00:37:08,763
On your feet, old man.
927
00:37:08,764 --> 00:37:11,199
It's time someone
taught you a lesson,
928
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:12,767
you pathetic hobo.
929
00:37:12,768 --> 00:37:16,003
Who you callin' old?
930
00:37:16,004 --> 00:37:18,606
Ha ha! That's... ugh.
931
00:37:18,607 --> 00:37:20,007
God.
932
00:37:20,008 --> 00:37:23,244
I must warn you, I am twice
your size and half your age,
933
00:37:23,245 --> 00:37:26,713
and though these fists have never
touched the flesh of another man...
934
00:37:28,049 --> 00:37:29,717
Mmm!
935
00:37:29,718 --> 00:37:30,618
Rude!
936
00:37:30,619 --> 00:37:32,587
I was in the middle of talking!
937
00:37:32,588 --> 00:37:33,920
Aw!
938
00:37:35,656 --> 00:37:36,958
Aah!
939
00:37:36,959 --> 00:37:38,025
Hah!
940
00:37:38,026 --> 00:37:39,327
Aah!
Burn!
941
00:37:39,328 --> 00:37:41,295
Aah! Ha ha ha!
942
00:37:41,296 --> 00:37:44,265
Come on!
Let's go, bitch!
943
00:37:44,266 --> 00:37:46,367
Jesus. It's like giving
spinach to Popeye.
944
00:37:46,368 --> 00:37:47,869
So how long were you dating?
945
00:37:50,005 --> 00:37:52,340
About eight months.
946
00:37:52,341 --> 00:37:53,875
That's not that long.
947
00:37:53,876 --> 00:37:55,343
Well, it was for me.
948
00:37:55,344 --> 00:37:59,113
Although, I wouldn't
exactly call it dating.
949
00:38:00,482 --> 00:38:02,283
How do you mean?
950
00:38:02,284 --> 00:38:04,685
Well, I mean, we never really
went out and did anything.
951
00:38:04,686 --> 00:38:06,420
It was pretty much,
you know, just the things
952
00:38:06,421 --> 00:38:10,057
that the publicist would arrange.
953
00:38:10,058 --> 00:38:12,026
I don't understand.
954
00:38:12,027 --> 00:38:15,630
Oh. It happens all the time.
It's like a thing.
955
00:38:15,631 --> 00:38:17,498
You know, the studio
pays the publicist
956
00:38:17,499 --> 00:38:20,234
to get two celebrities
to go out together,
957
00:38:20,235 --> 00:38:21,569
and then they tell
958
00:38:21,570 --> 00:38:22,837
the paparazzi where you're going.
959
00:38:22,838 --> 00:38:25,439
By the end of the night,
I have flashbulbs
960
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:26,841
popping off in my face,
961
00:38:26,842 --> 00:38:30,077
and the studio has people
talking about their movie.
962
00:38:30,078 --> 00:38:32,079
Hang on a sec.
963
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:35,616
Let me put this in terms
that I'll understand.
964
00:38:35,617 --> 00:38:40,388
So a really rich guy...
let's call him John...
965
00:38:40,389 --> 00:38:45,493
pays another guy...
let's call him pimp...
966
00:38:45,494 --> 00:38:48,629
to take out a hot girl
for a night.
967
00:38:48,630 --> 00:38:51,065
Let's call her...
Careful!
968
00:38:51,066 --> 00:38:53,501
Let's call her you.
969
00:38:53,502 --> 00:38:56,237
And in the end, guys are
popping off in her face?
970
00:38:56,238 --> 00:38:58,572
Ew! That's sick!
971
00:38:58,573 --> 00:38:59,774
I've just about got it.
972
00:38:59,775 --> 00:39:01,409
Just hang on, sweetheart.
973
00:39:01,410 --> 00:39:02,677
We'll have you out
of there in a minute.
974
00:39:02,678 --> 00:39:04,078
Just about there.
975
00:39:04,079 --> 00:39:05,678
Oh, crap.
976
00:39:07,148 --> 00:39:09,383
Now or never, Carl, now or never.
977
00:39:09,384 --> 00:39:11,319
Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
Hmm?
978
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,889
Listen, I know you're, like,
this huge Hollywood megastar,
979
00:39:14,890 --> 00:39:19,060
who was so good
in Tiger Baiby the way.
980
00:39:19,061 --> 00:39:23,030
And I'm at a point where I'm
questioning my career choices,
981
00:39:23,031 --> 00:39:26,000
if not my life choices.
982
00:39:26,001 --> 00:39:27,535
Okay, I'm rambling.
983
00:39:27,536 --> 00:39:29,770
I was wondering if you...
Look, uh, Clark...
984
00:39:29,771 --> 00:39:30,905
It's Carl.
985
00:39:30,906 --> 00:39:32,907
You seem like
a really sweet guy. I...
986
00:39:32,908 --> 00:39:34,575
Just let me finish.
987
00:39:34,576 --> 00:39:36,711
It's just that I'm single,
988
00:39:36,712 --> 00:39:39,947
and I know that you are, too,
989
00:39:39,948 --> 00:39:44,552
and, uh, in a weird way,
we've already been
990
00:39:44,553 --> 00:39:47,588
shacked up together
for a few hours, right?
991
00:39:47,589 --> 00:39:50,458
Well, that's true.
I guess we survived.
992
00:39:50,459 --> 00:39:53,260
Yes. We totally survived.
993
00:39:53,261 --> 00:39:57,865
So maybe this is all meant to be.
994
00:39:57,866 --> 00:40:01,369
Maybe we could be...
meant to be.
995
00:40:02,537 --> 00:40:03,804
Maybe when I
get out of the hospital...
996
00:40:03,805 --> 00:40:06,273
- Hospital?
- Got it!
997
00:40:06,274 --> 00:40:08,075
Okay, I'm out of time.
998
00:40:08,076 --> 00:40:09,776
Will you go out with me?
999
00:40:17,685 --> 00:40:19,986
I'm sorry. I can't.
1000
00:40:22,556 --> 00:40:24,025
All right, here's a story
for you guys.
1001
00:40:24,026 --> 00:40:26,594
These pictures you're taking
will be the last ones
1002
00:40:26,595 --> 00:40:28,496
taken of Clark alive.
1003
00:40:28,497 --> 00:40:30,230
It's Carl.
1004
00:40:46,814 --> 00:40:49,550
Take me to the basement.
1005
00:40:49,551 --> 00:40:51,519
I know this might
seem sort of strange,
1006
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,889
but I actually
don't have long to live,
1007
00:40:54,890 --> 00:40:57,725
and I've never been kissed...
1008
00:40:57,726 --> 00:40:58,926
ever.
1009
00:40:58,927 --> 00:41:02,128
Would it be too much
to ask you to kiss me?
1010
00:41:13,941 --> 00:41:17,078
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
1011
00:41:21,349 --> 00:41:22,950
You owe me a fucking shirt!
1012
00:41:22,951 --> 00:41:25,986
Whoo! Oh, my God!
1013
00:41:25,987 --> 00:41:28,255
That was awesome!
1014
00:41:29,558 --> 00:41:31,258
Weirdest fucking thing I ever saw.
1015
00:41:31,259 --> 00:41:34,295
I... I feel so alive,
like I could do anything!
1016
00:41:34,296 --> 00:41:36,230
Know what? Me, too.
1017
00:41:36,231 --> 00:41:37,765
Look at this.
Look at this.
1018
00:41:37,766 --> 00:41:38,999
Pure adrenaline, right?
1019
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,234
Fucking right.
1020
00:41:40,235 --> 00:41:42,336
Uhh! Ha ha!
1021
00:41:42,337 --> 00:41:45,405
I now know I love fighting!
1022
00:41:46,841 --> 00:41:48,976
Technically, Henry, I don't
think that was fighting.
1023
00:41:51,379 --> 00:41:53,614
Look here. Look at that.
1024
00:41:53,615 --> 00:41:55,416
Blood, huh?
1025
00:41:55,417 --> 00:41:56,984
It's barbeque sauce, Henry.
1026
00:41:56,985 --> 00:42:00,087
The fucking old man threw a
fucking chicken wing at you.
1027
00:42:00,088 --> 00:42:01,388
But I took it!
1028
00:42:01,389 --> 00:42:02,590
I fucking took it!
1029
00:42:02,591 --> 00:42:04,191
And listen to my language!
1030
00:42:04,192 --> 00:42:06,994
I'm swearing like a fucking
sailor, for fuck's sake!
1031
00:42:06,995 --> 00:42:07,995
Oh!
1032
00:42:07,996 --> 00:42:10,764
Ahh!
1033
00:42:10,765 --> 00:42:13,234
Not sure I'm buying it, Henry.
1034
00:42:13,235 --> 00:42:14,635
What are you talking about?
1035
00:42:14,636 --> 00:42:17,537
It's just not you.
1036
00:42:20,674 --> 00:42:23,611
You know what, Paul?
1037
00:42:23,612 --> 00:42:25,112
Fuck you.
1038
00:42:25,113 --> 00:42:26,547
Excuse me?
1039
00:42:26,548 --> 00:42:28,282
No, you heard me.
1040
00:42:28,283 --> 00:42:30,516
Fuck you, Paul.
1041
00:42:32,086 --> 00:42:34,054
Who died and made you
king of the cool guys?
1042
00:42:34,055 --> 00:42:36,157
I'm not the king
of anything, Henry.
1043
00:42:36,158 --> 00:42:37,391
I'm sick of it.
1044
00:42:37,392 --> 00:42:40,661
Seriously, you just walk around,
1045
00:42:40,662 --> 00:42:42,596
because you're so cool,
1046
00:42:42,597 --> 00:42:43,864
and nothing ever bothers you.
1047
00:42:43,865 --> 00:42:45,633
How do I walk around?
1048
00:42:45,634 --> 00:42:47,134
"Oh, what if I have
a heart attack? Mm, uh.
1049
00:42:47,135 --> 00:42:48,402
Oh, what if I die?"
1050
00:42:48,403 --> 00:42:51,639
Well, what about you,
eh, Mr... Mr. Sweet Guy?
1051
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:53,807
Mr. Understanding,
Mr. Compassionate,
1052
00:42:53,808 --> 00:42:55,543
giving his fucking heart
away all the time
1053
00:42:55,544 --> 00:42:57,411
and getting it broken and
then come crying to me?
1054
00:42:57,412 --> 00:43:00,247
You're always there for your
best friend in your tight jeans,
1055
00:43:00,248 --> 00:43:02,683
thinking everyone's
checking out your ass.
1056
00:43:02,684 --> 00:43:03,851
Well, what do you want me to do?
1057
00:43:03,852 --> 00:43:05,152
You want me to be all tucked in
1058
00:43:05,153 --> 00:43:06,554
and presentable
and perfect like you?
1059
00:43:06,555 --> 00:43:08,255
Maybe Luke was right about you.
1060
00:43:08,256 --> 00:43:10,391
What?
1061
00:43:10,392 --> 00:43:12,960
What does Luke say about me?
1062
00:43:12,961 --> 00:43:14,662
Nothing.
1063
00:43:14,663 --> 00:43:16,830
No, what...
What did Luke say, Paul?
1064
00:43:16,831 --> 00:43:18,866
Didn't say nothin'.
1065
00:43:18,867 --> 00:43:20,133
Paul.
1066
00:43:22,836 --> 00:43:25,839
Luke was just sayin',
1067
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:30,477
you know, sometimes
him and some of the guys
1068
00:43:30,478 --> 00:43:33,614
think that maybe.
You might be...
1069
00:43:33,615 --> 00:43:35,883
What the fuck is
the matter with you?
1070
00:43:35,884 --> 00:43:37,551
What the fuck is
the matter with you?!
1071
00:43:37,552 --> 00:43:40,119
Huh? You... You can't...
1072
00:43:41,989 --> 00:43:43,257
Oh.
1073
00:43:54,035 --> 00:43:57,404
You know, it's a good thing
nobody was thinking about
1074
00:43:57,405 --> 00:44:00,708
shaving my eyebrows off
or something like that,
1075
00:44:00,709 --> 00:44:02,977
'cause that'd be fucked up.
1076
00:44:02,978 --> 00:44:06,180
You like the jeans?
Mmm!
1077
00:44:06,181 --> 00:44:10,284
Really easy to get off.
Really easy.
1078
00:44:11,987 --> 00:44:13,654
I'd look weird.
1079
00:44:13,655 --> 00:44:15,422
All of this, none of this.
1080
00:44:15,423 --> 00:44:16,657
So if I'm drunk and passed out
1081
00:44:16,658 --> 00:44:19,727
at the end of the night,
you know...
1082
00:44:19,728 --> 00:44:21,829
You put me in a gorilla suit
1083
00:44:21,830 --> 00:44:26,934
and drop me off at my office
drunk and passed out.
1084
00:44:26,935 --> 00:44:30,571
Me with no eyebrows?
Come on.
1085
00:44:30,572 --> 00:44:32,572
I have a gorilla suit.
1086
00:44:34,275 --> 00:44:35,542
Okay, continue.
1087
00:44:35,543 --> 00:44:37,910
Look, it's all
I could find, all right?
1088
00:44:39,113 --> 00:44:41,415
It's called maca or something.
1089
00:44:41,416 --> 00:44:43,751
The guy at the market said
it nourishes hormonal glands
1090
00:44:43,752 --> 00:44:45,552
and helps men
with natural production
1091
00:44:45,553 --> 00:44:47,454
of testosterone hormones
for energy,
1092
00:44:47,455 --> 00:44:48,555
libido, and sexual enhancement.
1093
00:44:48,556 --> 00:44:49,823
That's so complicated.
1094
00:44:49,824 --> 00:44:51,959
I just want to give Ken a boner.
1095
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,827
Boys.
Good night, huh?
1096
00:44:53,828 --> 00:44:55,462
It's the way it should be.
1097
00:44:55,463 --> 00:44:57,231
No wife, no kids, just
hanging out with the guys.
1098
00:44:57,232 --> 00:44:58,599
We need to get Ken to eat this.
1099
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:00,134
What is that?
1100
00:45:00,135 --> 00:45:01,635
No time for questions!
Just get the waitress chick
1101
00:45:01,636 --> 00:45:03,003
to chop it into his nachos
1102
00:45:03,004 --> 00:45:04,405
or boil it into his drink
or something.
1103
00:45:04,406 --> 00:45:06,273
Oh, okay, so you planned
it out real well. Good.
1104
00:45:06,274 --> 00:45:07,374
Look, there she is.
1105
00:45:07,375 --> 00:45:08,942
She's talking
to your stripper friend.
1106
00:45:08,943 --> 00:45:10,144
No, hey, she's not my friend.
1107
00:45:10,145 --> 00:45:11,645
Okay? I just
picked her up.
1108
00:45:11,646 --> 00:45:12,880
I don't know about that.
1109
00:45:12,881 --> 00:45:14,048
You guys have been
kind of chummy lately.
1110
00:45:14,049 --> 00:45:15,349
I think she's diggin' you.
1111
00:45:15,350 --> 00:45:16,383
No. Yeah?
1112
00:45:16,384 --> 00:45:17,351
No! No!
1113
00:45:17,352 --> 00:45:19,519
Oh, my God, no one cares.
Just go.
1114
00:45:21,088 --> 00:45:21,889
Luke.
1115
00:45:21,890 --> 00:45:22,990
Hey, Mark.
1116
00:45:29,463 --> 00:45:30,964
Hey, ladies.
Hey.
1117
00:45:30,965 --> 00:45:31,932
Hey.
1118
00:45:31,933 --> 00:45:33,934
Hey, Uncle Luke,
we were just talking
1119
00:45:33,935 --> 00:45:35,035
about how you know each other.
1120
00:45:35,036 --> 00:45:36,770
We don't know each other.
1121
00:45:36,771 --> 00:45:38,238
I mean, you know.
1122
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:41,075
Uh... like how does
anyone know anyone?
1123
00:45:41,076 --> 00:45:43,344
That kind of thing,
you know what I mean?
1124
00:45:43,345 --> 00:45:44,945
I know I need a drink.
1125
00:45:44,946 --> 00:45:47,281
Yeah. Cranberry juice
would be good.
1126
00:45:47,282 --> 00:45:50,484
'Cause I'm driving, so time to
switch.
1127
00:45:50,485 --> 00:45:52,486
I'm very responsible, okay?
1128
00:45:52,487 --> 00:45:53,487
Responsible and moral.
1129
00:45:53,488 --> 00:45:54,888
Yeah.
1130
00:45:54,889 --> 00:45:57,224
Can you also chop that up,
put it in a drink,
1131
00:45:57,225 --> 00:45:59,293
and, uh, serve it to that guy?
1132
00:45:59,294 --> 00:46:00,794
I don't know
I could get in trouble.
1133
00:46:00,795 --> 00:46:02,730
Don't do it then.
I don't care.
1134
00:46:02,731 --> 00:46:04,098
Cranberry.
1135
00:46:04,099 --> 00:46:07,267
Uh, what...
Was that maca?
1136
00:46:07,268 --> 00:46:08,802
I don't know.
1137
00:46:08,803 --> 00:46:11,238
No idea.
1138
00:46:12,741 --> 00:46:15,042
Well, I should, uh, probably go
1139
00:46:15,043 --> 00:46:17,945
and slip into this outfit.
1140
00:46:17,946 --> 00:46:21,281
Unless, um, of course, you
wanted to help me with it.
1141
00:46:22,617 --> 00:46:24,318
Uh...
1142
00:46:24,319 --> 00:46:25,352
I can't. Come on.
1143
00:46:25,353 --> 00:46:26,987
I mean, you can do it on your own.
1144
00:46:26,988 --> 00:46:29,656
I don't think I...
Hey, uh, you got a second?
1145
00:46:29,657 --> 00:46:30,758
Yes, I do.
1146
00:46:30,759 --> 00:46:32,025
Yeah, for sure.
What's up?
1147
00:46:32,026 --> 00:46:33,260
I need to talk
to you in the bathroom.
1148
00:46:33,261 --> 00:46:36,196
Perfect, even better.
Okay. See ya.
1149
00:46:36,197 --> 00:46:37,498
Wow.
1150
00:46:38,767 --> 00:46:39,867
Love that guy.
1151
00:46:39,868 --> 00:46:41,334
Please.
1152
00:46:44,004 --> 00:46:45,706
What's goin' on, guys?
1153
00:46:45,707 --> 00:46:46,974
Did you do it?
1154
00:46:46,975 --> 00:46:48,342
She gonna put
the thing in his thing?
1155
00:46:48,343 --> 00:46:50,644
I begged her, but I
don't know if she will.
1156
00:46:50,645 --> 00:46:52,513
What the fuck, Luke? There's
no margin for error here!
1157
00:46:52,514 --> 00:46:53,881
Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta...
1158
00:46:53,882 --> 00:46:55,749
I want to thank you all
for coming out tonight.
1159
00:46:55,750 --> 00:46:57,484
I really appreciate it,
1160
00:46:57,485 --> 00:46:59,620
uh, but the purpose
of a stag is...
1161
00:46:59,621 --> 00:47:00,888
Ooh! Ooh!
1162
00:47:00,889 --> 00:47:02,623
Shut the fuck up, Henry!
1163
00:47:02,624 --> 00:47:04,024
I'm going!
1164
00:47:04,025 --> 00:47:05,626
You're the dickhead
who got us kicked out
1165
00:47:05,627 --> 00:47:06,693
in the first place!
1166
00:47:08,630 --> 00:47:10,464
This is exciting!
1167
00:47:10,465 --> 00:47:12,166
I feel like Spider-man!
1168
00:47:12,167 --> 00:47:13,834
Yes!
Or Tom Cruise!
1169
00:47:13,835 --> 00:47:15,002
Okay, careful, careful.
1170
00:47:15,003 --> 00:47:16,770
I gotcha. I gotcha.
I gotcha.
1171
00:47:16,771 --> 00:47:18,731
Watch your back, watch
your back, watch your back!
1172
00:47:19,641 --> 00:47:20,808
Step, step!
1173
00:47:20,809 --> 00:47:22,409
Okay, okay, okay.
1174
00:47:24,279 --> 00:47:25,512
Oh, fuck!
1175
00:47:25,513 --> 00:47:26,914
That close.
1176
00:47:26,915 --> 00:47:28,816
Hey! What's with
the fucking sausage party
1177
00:47:28,817 --> 00:47:30,050
in the bathroom?
1178
00:47:30,051 --> 00:47:31,452
Yeah, where's
that stripper action?
1179
00:47:31,453 --> 00:47:32,920
Let's get this
fucking party started, eh?
1180
00:47:32,921 --> 00:47:34,922
Yeah, and play
some poker and football.
1181
00:47:34,923 --> 00:47:36,490
Who wants to arm wrestle me!
1182
00:47:36,491 --> 00:47:37,591
Yeah, yeah!
Huh?
1183
00:47:37,592 --> 00:47:39,026
Really, where's that stripper?
1184
00:47:39,027 --> 00:47:40,928
Huh? Let's see some
fucking pussy, fellas!
1185
00:47:40,929 --> 00:47:42,162
Indeed! Let's see
1186
00:47:42,163 --> 00:47:44,031
some fucking fellas, pussy!
What?
1187
00:47:44,032 --> 00:47:46,133
- What?
- You said, "Let's see some fellas."
1188
00:47:46,134 --> 00:47:47,801
No.
Yes, you did.
1189
00:47:47,802 --> 00:47:49,770
Really? That's...
1190
00:47:49,771 --> 00:47:51,371
That's the last thing we need.
1191
00:47:51,372 --> 00:47:52,606
Yeah!
1192
00:47:52,607 --> 00:47:55,275
'Cause nobody here
is into dudes, right?
1193
00:47:55,276 --> 00:47:57,778
Not us!
That'd be funny!
1194
00:47:59,848 --> 00:48:01,949
All right, shut
the fuck up and listen!
1195
00:48:01,950 --> 00:48:04,585
For 10 years,
1196
00:48:04,586 --> 00:48:07,921
we've seen a bunch
of our friends get married
1197
00:48:07,922 --> 00:48:10,224
and say good-bye
to their freedom.
1198
00:48:10,225 --> 00:48:11,191
Right?
1199
00:48:11,192 --> 00:48:13,126
And all of them have had a stag.
1200
00:48:13,127 --> 00:48:14,661
A great stag.
1201
00:48:14,662 --> 00:48:17,731
And part of the reason
why the stag was so awesome
1202
00:48:17,732 --> 00:48:21,034
was because I came up
with some clever-slash-fun prank
1203
00:48:21,035 --> 00:48:23,170
to pull on
the groom-to-be. True?
1204
00:48:23,171 --> 00:48:24,738
Yeah, it's true.
Correct.
1205
00:48:24,739 --> 00:48:25,739
You're the King, Kenny!
1206
00:48:25,740 --> 00:48:26,974
Gotta concede that.
1207
00:48:26,975 --> 00:48:30,344
Now it's my turn, okay?
1208
00:48:30,345 --> 00:48:33,881
It's my turn to say
good-bye to my freedom
1209
00:48:33,882 --> 00:48:35,916
and life as I know it.
1210
00:48:35,917 --> 00:48:38,252
And I've been freaking out
1211
00:48:38,253 --> 00:48:40,053
pretty much all day long
1212
00:48:40,054 --> 00:48:43,190
wondering what you guys were
gonna do to kick my ass.
1213
00:48:43,191 --> 00:48:44,758
And the guy that I had counted on
1214
00:48:44,759 --> 00:48:48,061
to show up and watch my back?
1215
00:48:48,062 --> 00:48:49,762
He didn't show.
1216
00:48:50,998 --> 00:48:53,467
And now I have
the distinct impression
1217
00:48:53,468 --> 00:48:57,236
that you guys have
nothing planned for me.
1218
00:48:59,273 --> 00:49:00,140
Nothing.
1219
00:49:00,141 --> 00:49:03,143
Not so fast, asshole!
1220
00:49:03,144 --> 00:49:05,778
I actually do have
some payback planned.
1221
00:49:06,713 --> 00:49:07,881
I think.
1222
00:49:07,882 --> 00:49:11,118
Or I did have some...
I did have some.
1223
00:49:11,119 --> 00:49:13,921
Yeah, yeah, we did,
but you know what?
1224
00:49:13,922 --> 00:49:15,689
Ran into a snag or two.
Wasn't me.
1225
00:49:15,690 --> 00:49:16,990
Why?
1226
00:49:16,991 --> 00:49:18,926
Well, I mean, you know,
not the easiest thing.
1227
00:49:18,927 --> 00:49:20,327
I mean, you know,
there's, you know,
1228
00:49:20,328 --> 00:49:22,462
a couple problems,
different stages to the...
1229
00:49:22,463 --> 00:49:26,066
Some things just
kinda got in the way.
1230
00:49:26,067 --> 00:49:27,834
It actually seemed kind of mean.
1231
00:49:27,835 --> 00:49:29,636
It's supposed to be mean!
1232
00:49:29,637 --> 00:49:31,438
What was the plan?
1233
00:49:31,439 --> 00:49:32,806
Oh, it was gonna be amazing.
1234
00:49:32,807 --> 00:49:34,174
Okay, so first we were
gonna get you drunk,
1235
00:49:34,175 --> 00:49:35,809
and then when you passed out...
1236
00:49:35,810 --> 00:49:38,045
Okay, I know how it starts.
Let's get to how it ends.
1237
00:49:38,046 --> 00:49:41,548
Well, then we were gonna
take your pants off.
1238
00:49:41,549 --> 00:49:43,951
And give you a boner!
1239
00:49:43,952 --> 00:49:45,886
I wasn't gonna give you the boner.
1240
00:49:45,887 --> 00:49:47,888
No, no, no, no, no!
I didn't think...
1241
00:49:47,889 --> 00:49:49,556
Stripper would give you the boner.
1242
00:49:49,557 --> 00:49:50,657
I hate boners.
1243
00:49:50,658 --> 00:49:51,925
Well, wait a minute.
1244
00:49:51,926 --> 00:49:53,160
I thought we were gonna
give him Viagra.
1245
00:49:53,161 --> 00:49:54,294
I couldn't get Viagra.
1246
00:49:54,295 --> 00:49:55,629
My mom keeps it locked up.
1247
00:49:55,630 --> 00:49:56,897
Your mom has Viagra?
1248
00:49:56,898 --> 00:49:57,931
Your mom has a penis?
1249
00:49:57,932 --> 00:49:59,199
No! Pfft!
1250
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:00,801
My mom's boyfriend has a penis.
1251
00:50:00,802 --> 00:50:02,035
Your mom has a boyfriend?
1252
00:50:02,036 --> 00:50:04,071
Guys can we please fucking focus?
1253
00:50:04,072 --> 00:50:05,939
Okay, so once you had a boner,
1254
00:50:05,940 --> 00:50:08,141
we were gonna get the stripper
to write on it in indelible ink,
1255
00:50:08,142 --> 00:50:10,611
"Candy was here."
1256
00:50:10,612 --> 00:50:12,613
And then when, you know,
it was all small and soft,
1257
00:50:12,614 --> 00:50:14,648
it would just look
like a little smudge.
1258
00:50:14,649 --> 00:50:15,716
Or a freckle.
1259
00:50:15,717 --> 00:50:17,150
And then when you and Caroline
1260
00:50:17,151 --> 00:50:19,886
started to, you know, fool around.
1261
00:50:19,887 --> 00:50:21,388
Right?
1262
00:50:21,389 --> 00:50:24,491
Yeah, so then when it was
all big and engorged,
1263
00:50:24,492 --> 00:50:26,693
then she'd be able
to just clearly read it.
1264
00:50:26,694 --> 00:50:28,695
Yeah, I get it.
1265
00:50:28,696 --> 00:50:30,063
Guys, that's not half bad.
1266
00:50:30,064 --> 00:50:31,298
Why aren't we doing this?
1267
00:50:31,299 --> 00:50:33,834
Uh, who says we're not?
1268
00:50:33,835 --> 00:50:35,469
Well, no boner pills.
1269
00:50:35,470 --> 00:50:38,038
And also Candy said
she wouldn't do it.
1270
00:50:38,039 --> 00:50:39,206
I talked to her.
1271
00:50:39,207 --> 00:50:42,676
Guys, wait!
Stop!
1272
00:50:42,677 --> 00:50:44,211
We can't do it.
1273
00:50:44,212 --> 00:50:46,146
Can't. 'Cause...
1274
00:50:46,147 --> 00:50:49,950
I Googled the effects of
indelible ink on the penis,
1275
00:50:49,951 --> 00:50:51,451
and it is not pretty.
1276
00:50:51,452 --> 00:50:53,854
Carl, you can relax.
We're not doing it.
1277
00:50:53,855 --> 00:50:57,224
Okay. I just ran
12 blocks.
1278
00:50:57,225 --> 00:50:59,359
Eh, it's probably for the best.
1279
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,762
I mean, that Caroline,
she is a sweet lady,
1280
00:51:01,763 --> 00:51:03,497
and she'd get pretty upset.
1281
00:51:03,498 --> 00:51:06,566
Yeah, and, you know,
we'd have to get you drunk,
1282
00:51:06,567 --> 00:51:08,935
and that usually costs
a lot of money,
1283
00:51:08,936 --> 00:51:10,537
and I'm kinda tight
these days, Ken.
1284
00:51:10,538 --> 00:51:12,305
You know what?
I mean, it wouldn't happen
1285
00:51:12,306 --> 00:51:14,741
till later on tonight,
and I've had a long day.
1286
00:51:14,742 --> 00:51:16,343
I've gotta get going soon.
1287
00:51:16,344 --> 00:51:19,379
No, I get it guys.
Don't even worry about it.
1288
00:51:19,380 --> 00:51:22,315
I mean, if you're too busy
to disrespect me the way
1289
00:51:22,316 --> 00:51:25,118
I've disrespected you
in the past, that's fine.
1290
00:51:25,119 --> 00:51:28,021
I'll just, uh...
1291
00:51:28,022 --> 00:51:29,322
say good-bye
to my independence
1292
00:51:29,323 --> 00:51:32,959
over a couple of uneventful beers
1293
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,295
and a boring cab ride home.
1294
00:51:35,296 --> 00:51:38,699
Okay.
So we're cool then?
1295
00:51:38,700 --> 00:51:39,999
Thanks, man.
1296
00:51:41,535 --> 00:51:45,072
It's ain't over
until it's over, Ken!
1297
00:51:45,073 --> 00:51:48,208
It ain't over until...
Okay, guys wait up.
1298
00:51:51,045 --> 00:51:52,945
Paul, wait up.
1299
00:51:55,048 --> 00:51:56,817
Hey, can I see you in the
bathroom for a second?
1300
00:51:56,818 --> 00:51:58,517
I... Oh, come on.
1301
00:52:05,593 --> 00:52:06,727
Okay.
1302
00:52:06,728 --> 00:52:08,395
I'm gonna be honest.
I am not comfortable
1303
00:52:08,396 --> 00:52:10,497
helping you or watching
you get changed, so...
1304
00:52:10,498 --> 00:52:12,065
You know, I've been
watching you all night, Luke.
1305
00:52:12,066 --> 00:52:14,267
Uh, I-I-I am a...
1306
00:52:14,268 --> 00:52:15,702
I'm a married happily man, so...
1307
00:52:15,703 --> 00:52:16,803
I mean, I'm a...
1308
00:52:16,804 --> 00:52:18,038
I'm a married happily man.
1309
00:52:18,039 --> 00:52:20,540
And yet you're in the ladies room
1310
00:52:20,541 --> 00:52:25,178
with a stripper
who's about to get undressed.
1311
00:52:25,179 --> 00:52:27,280
That's why I'm leaving.
1312
00:52:27,281 --> 00:52:30,383
Oh, so you don't
find me attractive?
1313
00:52:30,384 --> 00:52:33,453
No. What?
Yeah, yeah, I just...
1314
00:52:33,454 --> 00:52:35,322
Why are you here?
In the bathroom?
1315
00:52:35,323 --> 00:52:37,390
No, the stag.
1316
00:52:37,391 --> 00:52:39,326
Why am I at the stag?
Yeah.
1317
00:52:39,327 --> 00:52:40,527
'Cause it's a stag!
1318
00:52:40,528 --> 00:52:42,095
Hang out with the boys, right?
1319
00:52:42,096 --> 00:52:43,230
Get rid of stress from the job,
1320
00:52:43,231 --> 00:52:44,831
the stupid fucking job.
1321
00:52:44,832 --> 00:52:46,299
The toilet job?
1322
00:52:46,300 --> 00:52:48,001
Yes, the toilet job, yeah,
1323
00:52:48,002 --> 00:52:50,103
where every day, I deal with
rejection after rejection,
1324
00:52:50,104 --> 00:52:53,406
and then I go home to a stack
of bills and a messy house
1325
00:52:53,407 --> 00:52:55,275
and a kid who...
who I love.
1326
00:52:55,276 --> 00:52:57,077
I love her. Love
my daughter so much.
1327
00:52:57,078 --> 00:52:58,945
She's my princess, but she
doesn't shut the fuck up!
1328
00:52:58,946 --> 00:53:01,348
And now we got
another one on the way?
1329
00:53:01,349 --> 00:53:03,150
You know, all I want
once in a while
1330
00:53:03,151 --> 00:53:06,119
is a little intimacy
with my wife. That's it.
1331
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:07,254
But she's not in the mood.
1332
00:53:07,255 --> 00:53:08,455
She's never in the mood!
1333
00:53:08,456 --> 00:53:09,556
So I go down to the TV room,
1334
00:53:09,557 --> 00:53:11,258
and I zone out till I fall asleep,
1335
00:53:11,259 --> 00:53:12,893
and then I wake up,
1336
00:53:12,894 --> 00:53:15,195
and I do the whole fucking
thing all over again.
1337
00:53:15,196 --> 00:53:17,197
That's why I'm at the stag.
1338
00:53:17,198 --> 00:53:20,901
And you thought
committing adultery would...
1339
00:53:20,902 --> 00:53:22,269
What?
Make that better?
1340
00:53:22,270 --> 00:53:24,371
No. I would never
cheat on my wife, okay?
1341
00:53:24,372 --> 00:53:25,739
I never have, I never will.
1342
00:53:25,740 --> 00:53:28,341
Well, then why the offer
to help me get changed?
1343
00:53:28,342 --> 00:53:30,110
You asked me to come in.
1344
00:53:30,111 --> 00:53:31,645
Ugh! Jesus, Luke,
you know what?
1345
00:53:31,646 --> 00:53:33,713
You are really
screwing things up here!
1346
00:53:33,714 --> 00:53:34,714
What?
1347
00:53:34,715 --> 00:53:35,615
Yeah. Okay, look,
1348
00:53:35,616 --> 00:53:37,050
I have a confession to make.
1349
00:53:37,051 --> 00:53:38,285
Please.
1350
00:53:38,286 --> 00:53:40,554
I'm not just a stripper.
1351
00:53:40,555 --> 00:53:42,556
Oh, my God, you're a hooker!
1352
00:53:42,557 --> 00:53:44,691
A hooker?
1353
00:53:44,692 --> 00:53:47,327
Do I look like
a hooker to you, Luke?
1354
00:53:47,328 --> 00:53:48,662
You...
1355
00:53:48,663 --> 00:53:50,397
I don't know how to answer that.
1356
00:53:50,398 --> 00:53:51,765
I'm a blogger, Luke, okay?
1357
00:53:51,766 --> 00:53:53,099
I write a blog.
1358
00:53:53,100 --> 00:53:57,037
You've been writing
about us on the internet?
1359
00:53:57,038 --> 00:53:58,271
My "Manopause" followers
1360
00:53:58,272 --> 00:53:59,606
are gonna have
a tough time with you.
1361
00:53:59,607 --> 00:54:01,441
Okay,
what is "Manopause?"
1362
00:54:01,442 --> 00:54:04,845
Manopause... it's a term I
use for male menopause.
1363
00:54:04,846 --> 00:54:07,280
Guys like you that are
going through a midlife crisis.
1364
00:54:07,281 --> 00:54:09,816
Guys like me?
You don't even know me.
1365
00:54:09,817 --> 00:54:11,551
I'm not going through
a midlife crisis.
1366
00:54:11,552 --> 00:54:14,554
Well, you're
a middle-aged man
1367
00:54:14,555 --> 00:54:17,357
who may very well be one of the
oldest guys at this party...
1368
00:54:17,358 --> 00:54:18,925
What?
1369
00:54:18,926 --> 00:54:20,827
And you've got a wife
at home that you love so much
1370
00:54:20,828 --> 00:54:22,529
you're willing
to give up any career dreams
1371
00:54:22,530 --> 00:54:24,598
that you may have
in order to provide her
1372
00:54:24,599 --> 00:54:26,700
with some sense of security.
1373
00:54:26,701 --> 00:54:29,669
And despite the fact that
you are riddled with guilt,
1374
00:54:29,670 --> 00:54:31,905
you lied to her so
you could abandon the weight
1375
00:54:31,906 --> 00:54:34,174
of your responsibilities
and spend a few hours
1376
00:54:34,175 --> 00:54:35,542
with your male friends
1377
00:54:35,543 --> 00:54:37,611
reliving what you see
as happier days gone by
1378
00:54:37,612 --> 00:54:40,313
and a chance to see a
young woman partially naked.
1379
00:54:40,314 --> 00:54:42,315
Odds are you're questioning
your life choices,
1380
00:54:42,316 --> 00:54:46,920
and there's a 42% chance
that you are or will
1381
00:54:46,921 --> 00:54:48,987
consider a divorce.
1382
00:54:49,823 --> 00:54:51,858
Wow.
Yeah.
1383
00:54:51,859 --> 00:54:54,059
So you're only getting
partially naked.
1384
00:54:55,028 --> 00:54:57,297
Hey, gentlemen, grab a chair!
1385
00:54:57,298 --> 00:54:58,565
Hey, I'm Randy.
1386
00:54:58,566 --> 00:55:00,066
- Carl.
- Hey, Ken,
1387
00:55:00,067 --> 00:55:01,301
your beer's
looking a little empty there.
1388
00:55:01,302 --> 00:55:02,302
You need a re-up?
1389
00:55:02,303 --> 00:55:03,503
No, I'm good, man.
1390
00:55:03,504 --> 00:55:04,905
Look, Randy, Ken's beer's empty.
1391
00:55:04,906 --> 00:55:07,607
I'm gonna grab him
a nice, fresh mug o' beer.
1392
00:55:07,608 --> 00:55:09,376
So, Carl, what do you do?
1393
00:55:09,377 --> 00:55:11,745
I do background work.
1394
00:55:11,746 --> 00:55:14,347
You ever rubbed elbows
with any celebrities?
1395
00:55:14,348 --> 00:55:17,150
I did technically rub elbows
with Sean Penn once
1396
00:55:17,151 --> 00:55:18,351
in a rugby scrum.
1397
00:55:18,352 --> 00:55:19,552
Hey, I think I saw that movie.
1398
00:55:19,553 --> 00:55:21,154
Um, what was it called again?
1399
00:55:21,155 --> 00:55:22,656
Scrum of the Earth?
1400
00:55:22,657 --> 00:55:24,157
Yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah.
1401
00:55:24,158 --> 00:55:25,458
This is fun.
1402
00:55:25,459 --> 00:55:26,826
Yeah!
1403
00:55:26,827 --> 00:55:30,028
Let's play some fucking man poker!
1404
00:55:32,565 --> 00:55:35,535
Okay, here we go, boys.
1405
00:55:35,536 --> 00:55:37,437
Uh-uh-uh-uh!
1406
00:55:37,438 --> 00:55:39,806
Beer! Yeah!
1407
00:55:39,807 --> 00:55:41,641
I loved Scrum of the Earth.
1408
00:55:41,642 --> 00:55:43,209
It's cool you were in that.
1409
00:55:43,210 --> 00:55:44,711
In it?
He had, like,
1410
00:55:44,712 --> 00:55:47,280
Sean's Penn's nut sack
just inches from his face.
1411
00:55:47,281 --> 00:55:48,415
Could somebody please deal?
1412
00:55:48,416 --> 00:55:50,116
Wasn't his nut sack.
1413
00:55:50,117 --> 00:55:52,152
It was his character's nut sack.
1414
00:55:52,153 --> 00:55:54,120
Oh, that's still awesome.
1415
00:55:54,121 --> 00:55:55,422
I guess.
1416
00:55:55,423 --> 00:55:56,690
Hey, Ken, how was your stag?
1417
00:55:56,691 --> 00:55:58,591
My stag?
1418
00:55:58,592 --> 00:56:00,393
It was fucking amazing.
1419
00:56:00,394 --> 00:56:02,362
We sat around
a poker table all night
1420
00:56:02,363 --> 00:56:04,297
and talked
about Sean Penn's penis.
1421
00:56:04,298 --> 00:56:05,964
So what was it like?
1422
00:56:08,735 --> 00:56:10,704
Soft and warm, I guess.
1423
00:56:10,705 --> 00:56:12,772
No, no, not his...
not his nut sack.
1424
00:56:12,773 --> 00:56:14,774
What was it like
working with Sean Penn?
1425
00:56:14,775 --> 00:56:17,177
Oh.
I don't know, we...
1426
00:56:17,178 --> 00:56:18,545
kept our distance, I guess.
1427
00:56:18,546 --> 00:56:19,980
Oh, yeah,
professional courtesy.
1428
00:56:19,981 --> 00:56:22,182
You guys can't be
gawking over each other
1429
00:56:22,183 --> 00:56:24,351
like regular folk, huh?
1430
00:56:24,352 --> 00:56:26,419
No, that wouldn't be cool.
1431
00:56:26,420 --> 00:56:28,187
I can't believe
what I'm looking at.
1432
00:56:30,623 --> 00:56:31,624
Wow.
1433
00:56:31,625 --> 00:56:32,492
Huh.
1434
00:56:32,493 --> 00:56:35,195
But you know what, Candy,
1435
00:56:35,196 --> 00:56:36,663
this doesn't all sound like me.
1436
00:56:36,664 --> 00:56:38,631
Read farther down.
1437
00:56:38,632 --> 00:56:40,934
"Characteristics
of a mid-life crisis include
1438
00:56:40,935 --> 00:56:43,737
the deep sense of remorse
for missed opportunities."
1439
00:56:43,738 --> 00:56:44,938
Check.
1440
00:56:44,939 --> 00:56:48,208
"The desire to achieve
a feeling of youthfulness."
1441
00:56:48,209 --> 00:56:50,510
Check.
1442
00:56:50,511 --> 00:56:53,413
"The search of an undefined
dream or goal."
1443
00:56:53,414 --> 00:56:56,349
Well, how am I supposed
to know what that is?
1444
00:56:56,350 --> 00:56:58,651
That's what undefined means.
1445
00:56:58,652 --> 00:57:00,787
Look, don't drive yourself
nuts over this, okay?
1446
00:57:00,788 --> 00:57:03,121
I was just making an observation.
1447
00:57:05,825 --> 00:57:08,528
All right, you know
what guys? I fold.
1448
00:57:08,529 --> 00:57:10,263
The stag party
has officially began!
1449
00:57:10,264 --> 00:57:11,398
The stripper's here!
1450
00:57:11,399 --> 00:57:13,865
Time to get titties
on the forehead!
1451
00:57:15,835 --> 00:57:19,873
I did background work
on Titties On My Forehead
1452
00:57:19,874 --> 00:57:21,875
with Ice-T.
1453
00:57:21,876 --> 00:57:23,977
So, Carl, what was
Veronica Simpson like?
1454
00:57:23,978 --> 00:57:25,812
- Mmm, yeah!
- She was, uh...
1455
00:57:25,813 --> 00:57:28,648
She was nice, actually.
1456
00:57:28,649 --> 00:57:31,951
Okay, great,
but what was she like?
1457
00:57:31,952 --> 00:57:33,620
I mean,
was she smoking hot, or...?
1458
00:57:33,621 --> 00:57:35,555
Yeah, she's, um...
1459
00:57:35,556 --> 00:57:36,556
She's really pretty.
1460
00:57:37,858 --> 00:57:39,192
And, uh...
1461
00:57:39,193 --> 00:57:40,894
nice.
Least, she seems nice.
1462
00:57:40,895 --> 00:57:42,962
That's nice.
That's good to hear.
1463
00:57:42,963 --> 00:57:45,031
Nice? Like she'd
give you the time of day.
1464
00:57:47,935 --> 00:57:49,335
She was great in Tiger Bait.
1465
00:57:49,336 --> 00:57:50,603
She's got a great ass, though.
1466
00:57:50,604 --> 00:57:51,704
Oh, she really does!
1467
00:57:51,705 --> 00:57:53,006
I would tap that in a heartbeat.
1468
00:57:53,007 --> 00:57:54,674
Okay, guys, that's not really...
1469
00:57:54,675 --> 00:57:56,810
I bet she'd be a pretty
good fucking lay.
1470
00:57:56,811 --> 00:57:58,611
Yeah, for sure, she would be.
1471
00:57:58,612 --> 00:58:00,280
Yeah, yeah.
No, I mean, I'd...
1472
00:58:00,281 --> 00:58:01,881
I, for one, would love to,
1473
00:58:01,882 --> 00:58:04,751
you know, really lay...
lay her.
1474
00:58:04,752 --> 00:58:06,953
She's an actor. How do you
know she's not faking it?
1475
00:58:06,954 --> 00:58:08,388
She wouldn't be faking it with me.
1476
00:58:10,391 --> 00:58:12,358
Yeah, me, too.
1477
00:58:12,359 --> 00:58:13,560
Okay, guys, come on.
1478
00:58:13,561 --> 00:58:14,694
But she's an actor, right?
1479
00:58:14,695 --> 00:58:16,029
Yeah.
Yeah, sometimes
1480
00:58:16,030 --> 00:58:17,363
they're just show
and no substance.
1481
00:58:17,364 --> 00:58:18,565
Hey, that's not necessarily...
1482
00:58:18,566 --> 00:58:19,999
Still, she's got a great ass.
1483
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:21,000
Great rack, too.
1484
00:58:21,001 --> 00:58:22,836
Oh, that's it!
We get Ken implants!
1485
00:58:22,837 --> 00:58:23,770
Enough!
1486
00:58:23,771 --> 00:58:25,438
Let's just play poker, okay?
1487
00:58:25,439 --> 00:58:27,907
You're all talking smack about
a person you never even met.
1488
00:58:27,908 --> 00:58:30,910
So let's forget
about Veronica Simpson
1489
00:58:30,911 --> 00:58:32,545
and just play mindless poker
1490
00:58:32,546 --> 00:58:35,248
with mindless friends, all right?
1491
00:58:35,249 --> 00:58:36,816
Okay, Carl.
1492
00:58:36,817 --> 00:58:37,617
Sorry.
1493
00:58:37,618 --> 00:58:38,718
Sorry, Carl.
1494
00:58:38,719 --> 00:58:39,719
Mr. Cranky over here.
1495
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:41,321
You having a rough day?
1496
00:58:41,322 --> 00:58:44,023
You have no idea.
1497
00:58:44,024 --> 00:58:45,058
Whoa, whoa, hey.
1498
00:58:45,059 --> 00:58:46,759
You're not playing again, are you?
1499
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:49,195
Yeah, why the fuck not?
1500
00:58:49,196 --> 00:58:51,231
Trying to help you look after
your money, that's all.
1501
00:58:51,232 --> 00:58:52,665
That's all right.
1502
00:58:52,666 --> 00:58:54,100
I mean, it's okay for you to play,
1503
00:58:54,101 --> 00:58:55,702
it's just you need
to know your limit.
1504
00:58:55,703 --> 00:58:57,170
You're right, I know.
You're right.
1505
00:58:57,171 --> 00:58:58,371
Okay. I'm proud of you.
1506
00:58:58,372 --> 00:59:00,974
How much do
you think I should spend?
1507
00:59:00,975 --> 00:59:02,842
Well, I don't know I mean,
1508
00:59:02,843 --> 00:59:05,111
are you comfortable
with, say, $10?
1509
00:59:05,112 --> 00:59:06,846
$10 is good, yeah.
1510
00:59:06,847 --> 00:59:08,848
Let's just have a look
and see how much you got left.
1511
00:59:08,849 --> 00:59:10,216
What the fuck
is wrong with you two?
1512
00:59:10,217 --> 00:59:12,085
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
1513
00:59:12,086 --> 00:59:13,153
Play the fucking game!
1514
00:59:13,154 --> 00:59:14,787
Shut up!
No, you're the fucking homo!
1515
00:59:14,788 --> 00:59:15,889
Oh, you're so gay!
1516
00:59:15,890 --> 00:59:17,457
You're totally gay!
1517
00:59:17,458 --> 00:59:20,527
Can we play more than one
round of fucking poker here?
1518
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:47,353
Hello?
1519
00:59:47,354 --> 00:59:48,588
Hi, Daddy!
1520
00:59:48,589 --> 00:59:50,723
Isabelle. Hi, sweetie,
how are you?
1521
00:59:50,724 --> 00:59:52,625
Good.
Hey, Daddy, guess what?
1522
00:59:52,626 --> 00:59:53,960
What?
1523
00:59:53,961 --> 00:59:56,162
I did a perfect cartwheel
at gymnastics tonight!
1524
00:59:56,163 --> 00:59:59,432
You did? That's great.
You must be so happy.
1525
00:59:59,433 --> 01:00:00,867
I'm super happy.
1526
01:00:00,868 --> 01:00:02,969
I wish you could have seen it.
1527
01:00:02,970 --> 01:00:05,038
I wish I could have
seen it, too, sweetie.
1528
01:00:05,039 --> 01:00:07,140
I should have been there.
I'm sorry.
1529
01:00:07,141 --> 01:00:08,174
That's okay, Daddy.
1530
01:00:08,175 --> 01:00:09,976
I know you have to stay
and do your work.
1531
01:00:09,977 --> 01:00:12,745
And Mommy videotaped it for you
so you can watch it later.
1532
01:00:12,746 --> 01:00:15,682
She did?
That's great.
1533
01:00:15,683 --> 01:00:17,183
Is work going okay, Daddy?
1534
01:00:17,184 --> 01:00:20,153
Yeah.
1535
01:00:20,154 --> 01:00:21,920
Yeah.
1536
01:00:23,456 --> 01:00:26,292
Hey, Isabelle, I should
probably get going, okay?
1537
01:00:26,293 --> 01:00:28,528
Okay. Will you come tuck
me in when you get home
1538
01:00:28,529 --> 01:00:30,463
and give me a kiss?
1539
01:00:30,464 --> 01:00:32,298
Of course.
1540
01:00:32,299 --> 01:00:33,366
You want to talk to Mommy?
1541
01:00:33,367 --> 01:00:35,668
No, no, no!
No. No, no, no, no, no!
1542
01:00:35,669 --> 01:00:37,704
Just tell Mommy that I am,
1543
01:00:37,705 --> 01:00:40,173
you know, gonna
be home soon, okay?
1544
01:00:40,174 --> 01:00:41,608
Okay. Love you, Daddy.
1545
01:00:41,609 --> 01:00:43,376
I love you, too, pal.
Bye.
1546
01:00:43,377 --> 01:00:44,577
Bye.
1547
01:00:44,578 --> 01:00:47,446
He didn't want to talk to me?
1548
01:00:59,559 --> 01:01:01,327
Hey, Candy.
1549
01:01:01,328 --> 01:01:02,562
Hey, buddy, fuck off.
1550
01:01:02,563 --> 01:01:04,097
Just relax, buddy.
1551
01:01:04,098 --> 01:01:04,897
What's up, Luke?
1552
01:01:04,898 --> 01:01:07,567
Not me.
Get lost, buddy.
1553
01:01:07,568 --> 01:01:09,168
Look, you were totally right
1554
01:01:09,169 --> 01:01:12,238
about the whole
mid-life crisis thing.
1555
01:01:12,239 --> 01:01:13,273
Weird, huh?
1556
01:01:13,274 --> 01:01:15,308
Not really, no.
1557
01:01:15,309 --> 01:01:19,012
Well, anyway, I found out
what my undefined dream is.
1558
01:01:19,013 --> 01:01:20,446
You did?
1559
01:01:20,447 --> 01:01:23,616
Yeah, so thank you.
1560
01:01:23,617 --> 01:01:24,817
I'm gonna take off.
1561
01:01:24,818 --> 01:01:26,986
Peeler! Peeler! Peeler!
1562
01:01:26,987 --> 01:01:31,324
Peeler! Peeler!
Peeler! Peeler!
1563
01:01:31,325 --> 01:01:33,293
Peeler! Peeler!
1564
01:01:33,294 --> 01:01:35,395
Guess that's my cue
for the group show.
1565
01:01:35,396 --> 01:01:40,233
Damn! That's the worst
$60 I ever spent!
1566
01:01:40,234 --> 01:01:41,367
Candy, you know what?
1567
01:01:41,368 --> 01:01:42,802
I mean, you can skip this.
1568
01:01:42,803 --> 01:01:44,203
You know, you don't have to do it.
1569
01:01:44,204 --> 01:01:46,372
I mean, you have so many
followers on your blog,
1570
01:01:46,373 --> 01:01:48,875
like, why don't you just
be a regular writer?
1571
01:01:48,876 --> 01:01:51,144
But I am a regular writer.
1572
01:01:51,145 --> 01:01:53,279
I'm not a victim here, Luke.
1573
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:57,283
I can assure you that there is a
great sense of power and control
1574
01:01:57,284 --> 01:01:59,786
that comes when you're
totally exposed to someone,
1575
01:01:59,787 --> 01:02:02,488
and yet in absolute
control over them.
1576
01:02:02,489 --> 01:02:04,924
Also makes it dead simple
to get into their psyche.
1577
01:02:04,925 --> 01:02:08,161
Really?
Sure.
1578
01:02:08,162 --> 01:02:09,996
You ever see the look
on a little kid's face
1579
01:02:09,997 --> 01:02:12,364
when they've been
watching TV for too long?
1580
01:02:14,100 --> 01:02:16,569
Like taking candy from a baby.
1581
01:02:17,771 --> 01:02:19,672
Holy shit.
1582
01:02:19,673 --> 01:02:21,941
It was nice meeting you, Luke.
1583
01:02:25,212 --> 01:02:27,646
Here we go.
All right, yeah!
1584
01:02:28,514 --> 01:02:31,149
Yeah!
1585
01:02:33,386 --> 01:02:34,620
Oh, my God!
1586
01:02:34,621 --> 01:02:36,055
That is what I'm talking about!
1587
01:02:37,391 --> 01:02:39,792
What are you, uh...
What are you doing?
1588
01:02:39,793 --> 01:02:41,461
I thought you were leaving.
1589
01:02:41,462 --> 01:02:43,029
Yeah, I just...
I got... Yeah.
1590
01:02:43,030 --> 01:02:46,065
But I have a couple
of minutes, so...
1591
01:02:46,066 --> 01:02:47,433
Hi.
1592
01:02:53,039 --> 01:02:56,275
Take the titties out!
1593
01:02:56,276 --> 01:02:57,443
Please!
1594
01:02:58,812 --> 01:03:01,981
Hey! That's Candy!
That was great!
1595
01:03:01,982 --> 01:03:03,649
Oh, thank you
so much. Okay.
1596
01:03:03,650 --> 01:03:04,951
Round of applause for Candy,
1597
01:03:04,952 --> 01:03:06,219
and we'll see her next time.
1598
01:03:06,220 --> 01:03:07,887
Hey, uh, what the fuck
are you doing?
1599
01:03:07,888 --> 01:03:09,155
She didn't even start yet!
1600
01:03:09,156 --> 01:03:10,423
Well, use your imagination.
1601
01:03:10,424 --> 01:03:11,224
It was starting to...
1602
01:03:11,225 --> 01:03:12,458
What are you really doing?
1603
01:03:12,459 --> 01:03:13,693
Hmm? Oh.
1604
01:03:13,694 --> 01:03:15,495
Well, you told me
to watch your back,
1605
01:03:15,496 --> 01:03:17,864
and I just feel like things are
getting out of control, okay?
1606
01:03:17,865 --> 01:03:19,031
Guys, look it, I don't think
1607
01:03:19,032 --> 01:03:20,700
we need a dancer here tonight.
1608
01:03:20,701 --> 01:03:23,202
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yes, we fucking do!
1609
01:03:23,203 --> 01:03:24,737
Have you lost your fucking mind?
1610
01:03:24,738 --> 01:03:27,707
Yeah, we really do need some
guys stuff right now, Luke!
1611
01:03:27,708 --> 01:03:28,775
You don't have to do this.
1612
01:03:28,776 --> 01:03:30,343
Yes, I do, okay?
1613
01:03:30,344 --> 01:03:33,212
Guys, let me explain.
Give me a second.
1614
01:03:33,213 --> 01:03:36,883
We are grown, mature men.
1615
01:03:36,884 --> 01:03:38,284
Get him!
1616
01:03:39,553 --> 01:03:41,286
No, no, no!
1617
01:03:43,956 --> 01:03:46,626
Wait! Wait! Wait!
1618
01:03:46,627 --> 01:03:49,095
Just a minute, okay?
1619
01:03:49,096 --> 01:03:51,964
I, uh... I came here to dance
for you guys,
1620
01:03:51,965 --> 01:03:53,232
so that's what I'm gonna do.
1621
01:03:53,233 --> 01:03:55,001
Yeah!
1622
01:03:55,002 --> 01:03:57,003
But first, I need to come clean.
1623
01:03:57,004 --> 01:04:00,273
My name isn't Candy.
It's Margaret.
1624
01:04:00,274 --> 01:04:01,941
Yeah, okay, Candy,
Margaret, whatever!
1625
01:04:01,942 --> 01:04:03,176
Take the titties out!
1626
01:04:03,177 --> 01:04:05,411
And I'm actually
not just a stripper.
1627
01:04:05,412 --> 01:04:07,079
I'm a writer.
1628
01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:09,549
And I've been secretly using all
of you in a giant case study.
1629
01:04:09,550 --> 01:04:12,518
So even though the mood
has been killed,
1630
01:04:12,519 --> 01:04:15,755
and it's not something
I want to do right now,
1631
01:04:15,756 --> 01:04:17,023
I'm gonna strip for you.
1632
01:04:17,024 --> 01:04:19,926
But you need to be
aware that you are,
1633
01:04:19,927 --> 01:04:21,227
in a sense, all guinea pigs
1634
01:04:21,228 --> 01:04:23,162
being used in a massive case study
1635
01:04:23,163 --> 01:04:24,397
that will essentially reflect
1636
01:04:24,398 --> 01:04:27,499
how the male species is perceived.
1637
01:04:29,802 --> 01:04:32,038
Yeah, she's gonna strip!
1638
01:04:46,619 --> 01:04:47,987
Yeah!
1639
01:04:47,988 --> 01:04:49,021
Wait!
1640
01:04:50,424 --> 01:04:51,491
Wait!
1641
01:04:51,492 --> 01:04:53,092
What are you doing?
1642
01:04:53,093 --> 01:04:55,495
What are you doing?!
1643
01:04:55,496 --> 01:04:56,629
She's right.
1644
01:04:56,630 --> 01:04:57,864
What the fuck are you doing?
1645
01:04:57,865 --> 01:04:59,232
She's a person.
1646
01:04:59,233 --> 01:05:01,734
Her name is Margaret.
1647
01:05:01,735 --> 01:05:05,438
She has a mom and a dad
and brothers and sisters.
1648
01:05:05,439 --> 01:05:08,174
Look, she's more
than just nice boobs
1649
01:05:08,175 --> 01:05:10,676
and gyrating hips.
1650
01:05:10,677 --> 01:05:12,311
Jesus.
1651
01:05:12,312 --> 01:05:14,280
My whole life, I've been
looked at like an object,
1652
01:05:14,281 --> 01:05:16,516
and not in a good way.
1653
01:05:16,517 --> 01:05:18,751
Been looked at like something
1654
01:05:18,752 --> 01:05:23,055
that's worthless and replaceable.
1655
01:05:23,056 --> 01:05:25,658
Nobody gives a crap
about who I am.
1656
01:05:25,659 --> 01:05:28,561
Oh, my God.
So?
1657
01:05:28,562 --> 01:05:30,196
That feels like shit.
1658
01:05:30,197 --> 01:05:32,598
Then I met this great girl, and...
1659
01:05:32,599 --> 01:05:35,468
This is officially the
worst stag party ever.
1660
01:05:35,469 --> 01:05:37,770
And I treated her the same way,
1661
01:05:37,771 --> 01:05:40,373
so I learned my lesson.
1662
01:05:40,374 --> 01:05:42,174
Margaret, you're free to go.
1663
01:05:42,175 --> 01:05:44,610
Not so fast, Margaret!
1664
01:05:44,611 --> 01:05:47,346
See, I personally don't give
a shit about your name
1665
01:05:47,347 --> 01:05:48,381
or your blog.
1666
01:05:48,382 --> 01:05:49,849
And, Carl, I don't give a shit
1667
01:05:49,850 --> 01:05:51,884
about your sad-sack
fucking story.
1668
01:05:51,885 --> 01:05:54,353
What I do give a shit
about is seeing
1669
01:05:54,354 --> 01:05:58,090
those beautiful tits
on my friend Kenny's head.
1670
01:05:58,091 --> 01:05:59,992
Right, Henry?
Yeah!
1671
01:05:59,993 --> 01:06:01,327
Henry?
1672
01:06:01,328 --> 01:06:03,429
It's just
a heartbreaking story.
1673
01:06:03,430 --> 01:06:06,032
Oh, fuck this, Carl!
Get off the stage!
1674
01:06:06,033 --> 01:06:08,668
There is a stripper here
who need to get to work!
1675
01:06:08,669 --> 01:06:11,671
Over my dead body.
1676
01:06:11,672 --> 01:06:13,005
Mine, too.
1677
01:06:13,006 --> 01:06:15,174
That is not gonna
be a fucking problem.
1678
01:06:16,476 --> 01:06:18,311
Yeow!
1679
01:06:18,312 --> 01:06:19,312
Yeow!
1680
01:06:20,113 --> 01:06:22,114
Ohh!
1681
01:06:22,115 --> 01:06:23,215
What was that?
1682
01:06:23,216 --> 01:06:24,216
Christ, Henry, what are you doing?
1683
01:06:24,217 --> 01:06:25,451
Are you all right?
1684
01:06:25,452 --> 01:06:27,186
Oh, I landed on my wallet!
1685
01:06:27,187 --> 01:06:29,188
All right, that's it. Party's over.
1686
01:06:29,189 --> 01:06:30,523
Party's over?
What do you mean, party...
1687
01:06:30,524 --> 01:06:32,358
It's 9:00.
1688
01:06:32,359 --> 01:06:34,226
Finish your drinks and get
the fuck out of my bar!
1689
01:06:34,227 --> 01:06:36,362
Why are you
cursing at me? I'm...
1690
01:06:36,363 --> 01:06:39,430
I'm the dude paying you!
1691
01:06:41,968 --> 01:06:44,971
This is awesome.
1692
01:06:44,972 --> 01:06:47,972
Man, I so wanted to burn your ass.
1693
01:06:49,241 --> 01:06:51,543
I wanted you to burn my ass.
1694
01:06:54,880 --> 01:06:56,882
Rory, let me ask
you something, man.
1695
01:06:56,883 --> 01:06:59,385
For years, you've been carrying
this chip on your shoulder
1696
01:06:59,386 --> 01:07:03,189
from me ruining
your perception thing, right?
1697
01:07:03,190 --> 01:07:05,124
Very much so.
1698
01:07:05,125 --> 01:07:06,392
Weren't you the guy
that we painted
1699
01:07:06,393 --> 01:07:08,594
a gigantic face on his body
1700
01:07:08,595 --> 01:07:11,631
to make his pecker
look like his tongue?
1701
01:07:11,632 --> 01:07:14,967
How does that cause
a mental problem?
1702
01:07:14,968 --> 01:07:16,469
My fiancée had been suffering
1703
01:07:16,470 --> 01:07:19,238
from low self-esteem
issues in the bedroom.
1704
01:07:19,239 --> 01:07:23,209
When she walked in and saw
me laying there with "it"
1705
01:07:23,210 --> 01:07:25,177
sticking its tongue out at her,
1706
01:07:25,178 --> 01:07:26,712
she was so hurt emotionally,
1707
01:07:26,713 --> 01:07:31,517
she couldn't bring herself
to touch it anymore.
1708
01:07:31,518 --> 01:07:35,688
So I was exiled to
an island of self-pleasure.
1709
01:07:35,689 --> 01:07:37,690
One day, she came into the
bathroom unannounced,
1710
01:07:37,691 --> 01:07:42,461
and I fell backward into the
tub and smacked my head.
1711
01:07:42,462 --> 01:07:45,498
Ever since then,
I've had this condition.
1712
01:07:45,499 --> 01:07:46,832
That's weird.
1713
01:07:46,833 --> 01:07:48,034
Mm-hmm.
1714
01:07:48,035 --> 01:07:50,736
Is it permanent?
1715
01:07:50,737 --> 01:07:52,338
The doctors say
it'll take a few years,
1716
01:07:52,339 --> 01:07:55,041
but it'll eventually go away.
1717
01:07:55,042 --> 01:07:56,742
What about your wife?
1718
01:07:56,743 --> 01:07:58,077
Oh.
1719
01:07:58,078 --> 01:07:59,512
We, uh...
1720
01:07:59,513 --> 01:08:01,047
We've been going
to this sex therapist.
1721
01:08:01,048 --> 01:08:03,416
Oh, nice.
Yeah, and, um...
1722
01:08:03,417 --> 01:08:05,384
You know, ever since then,
1723
01:08:05,385 --> 01:08:06,786
she's been like an animal.
1724
01:08:06,787 --> 01:08:09,555
Okay.
Like a wildebeest or like a jackalope.
1725
01:08:09,556 --> 01:08:10,656
Oh!
1726
01:08:10,657 --> 01:08:12,258
Yeah. She just wants it
all the time.
1727
01:08:12,259 --> 01:08:13,492
Whoa. That's great!
1728
01:08:13,493 --> 01:08:15,194
Yeah.
Well, only problem is,
1729
01:08:15,195 --> 01:08:17,129
you know, with the whole
depth, perception thing,
1730
01:08:17,130 --> 01:08:18,631
I keep trying to dock the boat
1731
01:08:18,632 --> 01:08:20,032
in the wrong slip.
1732
01:08:20,033 --> 01:08:22,234
Keep trying to put
my penis in her bum.
1733
01:08:22,235 --> 01:08:23,302
Yeah, I got it.
1734
01:08:23,303 --> 01:08:24,937
That's not a metaphor.
1735
01:08:24,938 --> 01:08:26,906
I'm gonna head out, pal.
1736
01:08:26,907 --> 01:08:28,307
Of course, you are.
1737
01:08:28,308 --> 01:08:30,543
I mean, why would you stay?
1738
01:08:30,544 --> 01:08:31,577
You okay?
1739
01:08:31,578 --> 01:08:32,378
Oh, I'm fine.
1740
01:08:32,379 --> 01:08:34,146
I'm fucking awesome.
1741
01:08:34,147 --> 01:08:35,314
When people look
back at this event,
1742
01:08:35,315 --> 01:08:36,515
you know what they'll say?
1743
01:08:36,516 --> 01:08:37,316
What?
1744
01:08:37,317 --> 01:08:38,584
Nothing, okay?
1745
01:08:38,585 --> 01:08:40,653
They won't say a damn thing!
1746
01:08:40,654 --> 01:08:43,556
There'll be no memories, no tales,
1747
01:08:43,557 --> 01:08:45,057
no legacy,
1748
01:08:45,058 --> 01:08:46,492
just a guy whose best friends
1749
01:08:46,493 --> 01:08:48,461
don't care about him
enough to abuse him
1750
01:08:48,462 --> 01:08:50,929
at his own stag!
1751
01:08:52,732 --> 01:08:54,633
You okay?
1752
01:08:54,634 --> 01:08:56,602
Yeah, yeah.
1753
01:08:56,603 --> 01:08:58,504
Feel like a bit
of an idiot, though.
1754
01:08:58,505 --> 01:09:00,206
No, no, no.
1755
01:09:00,207 --> 01:09:02,475
That was brave, Henry.
1756
01:09:02,476 --> 01:09:05,177
Poorly executed, but brave.
1757
01:09:05,178 --> 01:09:07,079
Like Jason Statham?
1758
01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:08,613
No.
No.
1759
01:09:11,250 --> 01:09:14,053
Look, about what happened earlier
1760
01:09:14,054 --> 01:09:17,656
in the, uh, alley.
1761
01:09:17,657 --> 01:09:19,492
Yeah. Uh, that.
1762
01:09:19,493 --> 01:09:24,963
Um, well, you know, uh...
1763
01:09:27,433 --> 01:09:29,734
Look,
the fucked-up thing is...
1764
01:09:31,871 --> 01:09:33,405
I didn't hate it.
1765
01:09:33,406 --> 01:09:34,774
It was weird.
1766
01:09:34,775 --> 01:09:35,708
Yeah, it was weird.
1767
01:09:35,709 --> 01:09:37,409
Weird.
Fuckin' weird, but...
1768
01:09:37,410 --> 01:09:39,944
You know, we'll work that out.
1769
01:09:40,913 --> 01:09:42,148
Yeah, yeah.
1770
01:09:42,149 --> 01:09:43,983
Yeah, we'll work that out.
1771
01:09:43,984 --> 01:09:45,818
We'll work it out, but...
1772
01:09:45,819 --> 01:09:48,387
look, keep this
on the fucking downlow, right?
1773
01:09:48,388 --> 01:09:51,924
Yeah, like,
way... fucking low.
1774
01:09:51,925 --> 01:09:52,992
Down there.
1775
01:09:52,993 --> 01:09:54,460
Good.
1776
01:09:54,461 --> 01:09:56,896
All right, let's go
hang with these monkeys
1777
01:09:56,897 --> 01:09:58,030
and get the fuck out of here.
1778
01:09:58,031 --> 01:09:59,497
All right.
1779
01:10:00,366 --> 01:10:01,567
Uh, you got stuff...
1780
01:10:01,568 --> 01:10:03,169
Don't fucking touch me!
1781
01:10:03,170 --> 01:10:05,436
There's just schmutz on your...
1782
01:10:08,674 --> 01:10:11,043
I am so sorry about the mess.
1783
01:10:11,044 --> 01:10:12,545
God.
1784
01:10:12,546 --> 01:10:15,514
It's no problem.
I've seen a lot worse.
1785
01:10:15,515 --> 01:10:18,216
Those guys can be pigs, you know?
1786
01:10:19,318 --> 01:10:21,586
Some of them.
1787
01:10:22,988 --> 01:10:24,824
Hey, Pam,
1788
01:10:24,825 --> 01:10:28,227
let's say, uh, we're
at a family gathering.
1789
01:10:28,228 --> 01:10:31,664
You know, you're there,
and my wife is there.
1790
01:10:31,665 --> 01:10:32,965
Uh-huh.
1791
01:10:32,966 --> 01:10:36,268
I mean, you're not the kind
of person that would talk
1792
01:10:36,269 --> 01:10:38,870
about work when you're
with family anyway, right?
1793
01:10:40,739 --> 01:10:43,375
I'll make you a deal, Uncle Luke.
1794
01:10:43,376 --> 01:10:44,610
I will never talk about this night
1795
01:10:44,611 --> 01:10:46,779
in the presence of our family,
1796
01:10:46,780 --> 01:10:50,049
if you promise never
to say the word "pussy"
1797
01:10:50,050 --> 01:10:52,117
in front of me again.
1798
01:10:52,118 --> 01:10:53,252
I didn't.
Did I say pu...
1799
01:10:53,253 --> 01:10:56,121
Did I say that?
Yeah.
1800
01:10:56,122 --> 01:10:57,389
Deal.
I will... I will...
1801
01:10:57,390 --> 01:10:58,524
I will not do that again.
1802
01:10:58,525 --> 01:11:00,226
I'm surprised I even said it.
1803
01:11:00,227 --> 01:11:02,094
Probably wasn't me.
1804
01:11:02,095 --> 01:11:03,662
But I'll tell the guys
not to do it.
1805
01:11:03,663 --> 01:11:06,398
All right, guys,
I'm gonna get going.
1806
01:11:06,399 --> 01:11:08,599
See you, Randy.
1807
01:11:12,705 --> 01:11:15,106
Ah, well...
1808
01:11:18,577 --> 01:11:21,846
Did I say "pussy"
earlier out loud?
1809
01:11:23,315 --> 01:11:24,916
Unbelievable.
1810
01:11:26,285 --> 01:11:29,188
Hey, Ken, look, I'm sorry
that you didn't have a...
1811
01:11:29,189 --> 01:11:30,990
No, no, no, I get it.
1812
01:11:30,991 --> 01:11:32,890
I'm a dick.
1813
01:11:34,226 --> 01:11:36,262
I'm a dick.
1814
01:11:36,263 --> 01:11:38,631
It's time to stop with all of this
1815
01:11:38,632 --> 01:11:41,166
idiotic behavior
and childish pranks
1816
01:11:41,167 --> 01:11:42,568
and settle down.
1817
01:11:42,569 --> 01:11:45,237
I even know how awesome
Caroline is for me
1818
01:11:45,238 --> 01:11:47,873
and how perfect we are together.
1819
01:11:47,874 --> 01:11:50,743
I just wanted one last night,
though, you know?
1820
01:11:50,744 --> 01:11:53,846
One last night.
I wanted to celebrate.
1821
01:11:53,847 --> 01:11:55,915
I wanted to wear
a stripper's boobs
1822
01:11:55,916 --> 01:11:58,117
on my head like a sailor hat.
1823
01:11:58,118 --> 01:11:59,851
Crazy.
1824
01:12:00,886 --> 01:12:04,957
I'll settle for beers
with my best friends
1825
01:12:04,958 --> 01:12:07,558
and the two gay guys.
1826
01:12:09,261 --> 01:12:11,397
What... We...
1827
01:12:11,398 --> 01:12:12,930
No.
1828
01:12:17,369 --> 01:12:22,073
Oh... my... God.
1829
01:12:31,383 --> 01:12:34,318
I'll mention the great ass thing.
1830
01:12:39,992 --> 01:12:41,293
Hey.
1831
01:12:41,294 --> 01:12:43,362
Hey.
1832
01:12:43,363 --> 01:12:44,830
Uh, how did you...
1833
01:12:44,831 --> 01:12:46,565
You told the wardrobe girl
1834
01:12:46,566 --> 01:12:49,335
that you had a special
gala to attend here?
1835
01:12:49,336 --> 01:12:50,569
Oh, I did?
1836
01:12:50,570 --> 01:12:52,838
Mm-hmm.
And the make-up girl
1837
01:12:52,839 --> 01:12:54,473
and the guy at craft services.
1838
01:12:54,474 --> 01:12:56,976
Okay.
And I said gala?
1839
01:12:56,977 --> 01:12:58,077
Apparently.
1840
01:12:58,078 --> 01:12:59,277
Cool.
1841
01:13:01,113 --> 01:13:04,649
So why are you here?
1842
01:13:06,251 --> 01:13:08,253
I don't know. Um...
1843
01:13:08,254 --> 01:13:09,755
I guess I wanted to tell you
1844
01:13:09,756 --> 01:13:12,323
that you really bug
the shit out of me.
1845
01:13:13,759 --> 01:13:15,761
Okay, message delivered.
1846
01:13:15,762 --> 01:13:17,496
Thank you for coming by.
1847
01:13:17,497 --> 01:13:19,898
But after that horrible experience,
1848
01:13:19,899 --> 01:13:24,770
I guess you maybe bugged
me a little bit less.
1849
01:13:24,771 --> 01:13:26,772
I did?
1850
01:13:26,773 --> 01:13:29,942
Yeah, and then that other guy
came in to finish the scene,
1851
01:13:29,943 --> 01:13:31,577
and we had the whole kiss thing.
1852
01:13:31,578 --> 01:13:33,312
I didn't notice.
1853
01:13:33,313 --> 01:13:36,148
And I realized that you
were the guy in the cage
1854
01:13:36,149 --> 01:13:38,550
the whole time putting up
with my psychotic-ness.
1855
01:13:38,551 --> 01:13:41,820
And, well, it just
didn't really seem fair,
1856
01:13:41,821 --> 01:13:45,156
so I came to bring you this.
1857
01:13:53,866 --> 01:13:56,101
And I wasn't
in character just then.
1858
01:13:56,102 --> 01:13:57,935
That was really me.
1859
01:14:02,174 --> 01:14:03,774
Wow!
1860
01:14:05,711 --> 01:14:08,779
The beer here is awesome.
1861
01:14:10,115 --> 01:14:12,351
So if don't mind hiding your
face from the paparazzi,
1862
01:14:12,352 --> 01:14:14,119
I have a car waiting outside,
1863
01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:16,288
I was thinking maybe we
could grab a late dinner.
1864
01:14:16,289 --> 01:14:17,322
Paparazzi.
1865
01:14:17,323 --> 01:14:18,624
Cool.
1866
01:14:18,625 --> 01:14:23,327
I mean, blood-sucking pricks.
1867
01:14:24,696 --> 01:14:27,332
I have a way out.
1868
01:14:27,333 --> 01:14:29,400
I think they won't see you.
1869
01:14:34,706 --> 01:14:37,643
Hey, would you mind
staying here for a drink?
1870
01:14:37,644 --> 01:14:40,913
I have a favor I want to ask you.
1871
01:14:49,955 --> 01:14:54,126
♪ Sittin' where the stage
is stayin' blue ♪
1872
01:14:54,127 --> 01:14:57,828
♪ Chase around
the soul right out of you ♪
1873
01:14:58,864 --> 01:15:00,899
♪ And everything else
1874
01:15:00,900 --> 01:15:03,469
♪ Just got in my way
1875
01:15:03,470 --> 01:15:05,404
♪ And time was talk
1876
01:15:05,405 --> 01:15:08,072
♪ Would make it all true
1877
01:15:16,782 --> 01:15:21,120
♪ Out jumps a bee
right through my skin ♪
1878
01:15:21,121 --> 01:15:23,956
♪ Each and every time
that you breathe in ♪
1879
01:15:23,957 --> 01:15:25,491
Hey, sweetie.
1880
01:15:25,492 --> 01:15:27,025
Good morning, Daddy.
1881
01:15:27,026 --> 01:15:28,293
Come here.
1882
01:15:28,294 --> 01:15:29,461
♪ Wake myself up
1883
01:15:29,462 --> 01:15:32,064
♪ Man comes around
1884
01:15:32,065 --> 01:15:34,299
♪ Clawed up all the sin
1885
01:15:34,300 --> 01:15:38,337
Daddy?
What's all this?
1886
01:15:38,338 --> 01:15:40,339
♪ Clawed up all the sin
1887
01:15:40,340 --> 01:15:44,943
Hey, what do you say we go
upstairs and wake up Mom,
1888
01:15:44,944 --> 01:15:48,514
and then we go out for a
nice, big pancake breakfast?
1889
01:15:48,515 --> 01:15:51,683
But first, can you tell me
what it was like
1890
01:15:51,684 --> 01:15:54,185
to do a perfect cartwheel?
1891
01:15:57,823 --> 01:16:02,227
Okay.
Well, first over here
1892
01:16:02,228 --> 01:16:03,762
is where my teacher called my name,
1893
01:16:03,763 --> 01:16:06,831
and I was kinda nervous.
1894
01:16:08,167 --> 01:16:09,201
Morning.
1895
01:16:09,202 --> 01:16:12,304
Mmm, morning, sweetie.
1896
01:16:12,305 --> 01:16:13,639
How ya feeling?
1897
01:16:13,640 --> 01:16:15,574
I'm feeling pretty rough.
1898
01:16:15,575 --> 01:16:17,042
Yeah?
Yeah.
1899
01:16:17,043 --> 01:16:18,777
Well, it's no wonder.
You were really drunk
1900
01:16:18,778 --> 01:16:20,345
when they dropped you off on
our front lawn last night.
1901
01:16:20,346 --> 01:16:23,515
And what time was that?
3 A.M.?
1902
01:16:23,516 --> 01:16:25,149
11:15.
1903
01:16:26,218 --> 01:16:27,286
Damn.
1904
01:16:27,287 --> 01:16:28,787
So you had fun?
1905
01:16:28,788 --> 01:16:31,723
It was all right.
1906
01:16:31,724 --> 01:16:34,326
Why, nobody stuck
a pineapple up your ass?
1907
01:16:34,327 --> 01:16:35,594
No, nobody did nothin'.
1908
01:16:35,595 --> 01:16:36,828
Mm-hmm.
1909
01:16:36,829 --> 01:16:38,797
Yeah, you should come over here
1910
01:16:38,798 --> 01:16:41,565
and look at this, uh, scumbag.
1911
01:16:43,368 --> 01:16:46,103
Scumbag?
1912
01:16:47,606 --> 01:16:50,107
Why I gotta be a scumbag?
1913
01:16:54,813 --> 01:16:58,217
That is awesome, baby!
1914
01:16:58,218 --> 01:16:59,952
Look at that!
1915
01:16:59,953 --> 01:17:03,188
I'm the scumbag grabbing
Veronica Simpson's titty!
1916
01:17:03,189 --> 01:17:04,623
Go on, scumbag!
1917
01:17:04,624 --> 01:17:06,725
Scumbag number one.
1918
01:17:06,726 --> 01:17:08,860
It's time for your eTalk update.
1919
01:17:08,861 --> 01:17:10,395
Well, it looks
like Veronica Simpson
1920
01:17:10,396 --> 01:17:12,931
isn't the only one
with her hands full these days.
1921
01:17:12,932 --> 01:17:14,700
Last night, the star took a break
1922
01:17:14,701 --> 01:17:16,635
from her hectic filming schedule
1923
01:17:16,636 --> 01:17:18,036
to drop into a local stag party,
1924
01:17:18,037 --> 01:17:20,339
and was greeted by a few onlookers
1925
01:17:20,340 --> 01:17:21,974
and one groper!
1926
01:17:21,975 --> 01:17:23,909
The man with the hands
was rushed out of the bar
1927
01:17:23,910 --> 01:17:25,210
before police arrived,
1928
01:17:25,211 --> 01:17:28,146
but has been identified
as Ken Andrews.
1929
01:17:28,147 --> 01:17:30,415
A warrant has been
issued for his arrest,
1930
01:17:30,416 --> 01:17:33,218
and Miss Simpson is planning
on pressing charges.
1931
01:17:33,219 --> 01:17:35,153
Rumor has it Veronica was there
1932
01:17:35,154 --> 01:17:37,656
visiting a new love interest.
1933
01:18:59,204 --> 01:19:01,106
♪ When I walk in a room and I
1934
01:19:01,107 --> 01:19:03,108
♪ Hear a beat that I'm feelin',
it makes me high ♪
1935
01:19:03,109 --> 01:19:05,110
♪ Wanna stay in the groove
till the morning time ♪
1936
01:19:05,111 --> 01:19:07,112
♪ Wanna put my hands up
in the sky ♪
1937
01:19:07,113 --> 01:19:09,081
♪ Any day of the week,
I love to jam ♪
1938
01:19:09,082 --> 01:19:10,816
♪ Doesn't matter what part
of the world I'm in ♪
1939
01:19:10,817 --> 01:19:13,218
♪ Want to have a good time
when I'm with my friends ♪
1940
01:19:13,219 --> 01:19:15,320
♪ When the music is bumpin',
it never ends ♪
1941
01:19:15,321 --> 01:19:17,189
♪ Ever since I was just a kid
1942
01:19:17,190 --> 01:19:19,091
♪ Had rhythm in my feet
everything I did ♪
1943
01:19:19,092 --> 01:19:20,959
♪ Everybody all around me
hit the floor ♪
1944
01:19:20,960 --> 01:19:23,095
♪ Just lovin' them beats
more and more ♪
1945
01:19:23,096 --> 01:19:24,963
♪ I love seein'
when they shake it around ♪
1946
01:19:24,964 --> 01:19:27,099
♪ How they move them hips
all up and down ♪
1947
01:19:27,100 --> 01:19:29,101
♪ From side to side
all ready to rock ♪
1948
01:19:29,102 --> 01:19:31,069
♪ With a lowdown bass line
deep inside ♪
1949
01:19:31,070 --> 01:19:33,472
♪ Roll your belly
to the left and the right ♪
1950
01:19:33,473 --> 01:19:35,340
♪ Roll your belly
till the end of the night ♪
1951
01:19:35,341 --> 01:19:37,476
♪ Roll your belly
till we're all in trance ♪
1952
01:19:37,477 --> 01:19:39,478
♪ Come on, baby, now,
belly-dance ♪
1953
01:19:39,479 --> 01:19:41,380
♪ Roll your belly
to the left and the right ♪
1954
01:19:41,381 --> 01:19:43,415
♪ Roll your belly
till the end of the night ♪
1955
01:19:43,416 --> 01:19:45,484
♪ Roll your belly
till we're all in trance ♪
1956
01:19:45,485 --> 01:19:47,719
♪ Come on, baby, now,
belly-dance ♪
1957
01:20:19,451 --> 01:20:21,386
♪ Roll your belly
to the left and the right ♪
1958
01:20:21,387 --> 01:20:23,488
♪ Roll your belly
till the end of the night ♪
1959
01:20:23,489 --> 01:20:25,524
♪ Roll your belly
till we're all in trance ♪
1960
01:20:25,525 --> 01:20:27,426
♪ Come on, baby, now,
belly-dance ♪
1961
01:20:27,427 --> 01:20:29,461
♪ Roll your belly
to the left and the right ♪
1962
01:20:29,462 --> 01:20:31,530
♪ Roll your belly
till the end of the night ♪
1963
01:20:31,531 --> 01:20:33,532
♪ Roll your belly
till we're all in trance ♪
1964
01:20:33,533 --> 01:20:36,300
♪ Come on, baby, now,
belly-dance ♪
1965
01:21:06,265 --> 01:21:08,099
♪ So call the shots
1966
01:21:08,100 --> 01:21:09,468
♪ Girls are crazy,
girls are naughty ♪
1967
01:21:09,469 --> 01:21:11,236
♪ Girls, they make me
move my body ♪
1968
01:21:11,237 --> 01:21:13,205
♪ Girls are happy,
girls are sweet ♪
1969
01:21:13,206 --> 01:21:14,739
♪ Girls, they make me
move my feet ♪
1970
01:21:14,740 --> 01:21:16,875
♪ Girls, they love
to make me trade ♪
1971
01:21:16,876 --> 01:21:18,977
♪ Make me hollah, but she fakin' ♪
1972
01:21:18,978 --> 01:21:20,579
♪ Girls, they
like to buy me clothes ♪
1973
01:21:20,580 --> 01:21:22,581
♪ Take me dancin', my nose ♪
1974
01:21:22,582 --> 01:21:24,349
♪ Girls, they
like to make me dance ♪
1975
01:21:24,350 --> 01:21:26,151
♪ Take me out and take a chance ♪
1976
01:21:26,152 --> 01:21:28,186
♪ Take me out and show me off ♪
1977
01:21:28,187 --> 01:21:30,021
♪ Smoke me up and make me cough ♪
1978
01:21:30,022 --> 01:21:31,990
♪ Take me out
to the back of the club ♪
1979
01:21:31,991 --> 01:21:33,658
♪ V.I.P., a private rub
1980
01:21:33,659 --> 01:21:35,527
♪ Girls,
they like to take my hand ♪
1981
01:21:35,528 --> 01:21:37,462
♪ Girls, they like
to meet the band ♪
1982
01:21:37,463 --> 01:21:39,264
♪ Girls in Europe, U.S.A.
1983
01:21:39,265 --> 01:21:41,199
♪ Girls in China all the way
1984
01:21:41,200 --> 01:21:43,034
♪ In the East and in the West
1985
01:21:43,035 --> 01:21:45,036
♪ Girls are lovin' you the best ♪
1986
01:21:45,037 --> 01:21:46,938
♪ In the north and in the south ♪
1987
01:21:46,939 --> 01:21:48,840
♪ In my hand and in your mouth ♪
1988
01:21:48,841 --> 01:21:50,475
♪ In the night, in the day
1989
01:21:50,476 --> 01:21:52,377
♪ Girls are comin' round my way ♪
1990
01:21:52,378 --> 01:21:54,479
♪ Girls are crazy,
girls are naughty ♪
1991
01:21:54,480 --> 01:21:56,214
♪ Girls, they make me
move my body ♪
1992
01:21:56,215 --> 01:21:58,116
♪ Girls are happy,
girls are sweet ♪
1993
01:21:58,117 --> 01:21:59,718
♪ Girls, they make me
move my feet ♪
1994
01:21:59,719 --> 01:22:01,987
♪ Girls, they love
to make me trade ♪
1995
01:22:01,988 --> 01:22:03,688
♪ Make me hollah, but she fakin' ♪
1996
01:22:03,689 --> 01:22:05,457
♪ Girls, they like
to buy me clothes ♪
1997
01:22:05,458 --> 01:22:07,559
♪ Take me dancin', my nose ♪
1998
01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:09,361
♪ Girls are crazy,
girls are naughty ♪
1999
01:22:09,362 --> 01:22:11,162
♪ Girls, they make me
move my body ♪
2000
01:22:11,163 --> 01:22:13,098
♪ Girls are happy,
girls are sweet ♪
2001
01:22:13,099 --> 01:22:15,033
♪ Girls, they make me
move my feet ♪
2002
01:22:15,034 --> 01:22:16,668
♪ Girls, they love
to make me trade ♪
2003
01:22:16,669 --> 01:22:18,703
♪ Make me hollah, but she fakin' ♪
2004
01:22:18,704 --> 01:22:20,572
♪ Girls, they like
to buy me clothes ♪
2005
01:22:20,573 --> 01:22:22,307
♪ Take me dancin', my nose ♪
2006
01:22:22,308 --> 01:22:25,310
♪ I love the girls
2007
01:22:25,311 --> 01:22:27,178
♪ I love them crazy girls
2008
01:22:27,179 --> 01:22:28,847
♪ Crazy, crazy
2009
01:22:28,848 --> 01:22:32,951
♪ I love them girls
2010
01:22:32,952 --> 01:22:34,886
♪ I love my crazy girls
2011
01:22:34,887 --> 01:22:36,054
♪ Crazy, crazy
2012
01:22:36,055 --> 01:22:37,589
♪ I love them girls
2013
01:22:37,590 --> 01:22:39,391
♪ Girls are thirsty,
girls are sweatin' ♪
2014
01:22:39,392 --> 01:22:41,226
♪ Girls are wantin',
girls are gettin' ♪
2015
01:22:41,227 --> 01:22:43,128
♪ Girls are needin',
girls are takin' ♪
2016
01:22:43,129 --> 01:22:45,030
♪ Girls are cheatin',
then they fakin' ♪
2017
01:22:45,031 --> 01:22:46,698
♪ Girls are hatin' other girls
2018
01:22:46,699 --> 01:22:48,733
♪ Girls'll take over the world ♪
2019
01:22:48,734 --> 01:22:50,435
♪ Girls are what we gotta save ♪
2020
01:22:50,436 --> 01:22:51,903
♪ Girls are always what I crave ♪
2021
01:22:51,904 --> 01:22:53,305
♪ I like my girls
2022
01:22:53,306 --> 01:22:54,673
♪ Girls are crazy,
girls are naughty ♪
2023
01:22:54,674 --> 01:22:56,241
♪ Girls, they make me
move my body ♪
2024
01:22:56,242 --> 01:22:58,143
♪ Girls are happy,
girls are sweet ♪
2025
01:22:58,144 --> 01:22:59,744
♪ Girls, they make me
move my feet ♪
2026
01:22:59,745 --> 01:23:01,713
♪ Girls, they love
to make me trade ♪
2027
01:23:01,714 --> 01:23:03,715
♪ Make me hollah, but she fakin' ♪
2028
01:23:03,716 --> 01:23:05,517
♪ Girls, they like
to buy me clothes ♪
2029
01:23:05,518 --> 01:23:07,452
♪ Take me dancin', my nose ♪
2030
01:23:07,453 --> 01:23:09,321
♪ Girls are crazy,
girls are naughty ♪
2031
01:23:09,322 --> 01:23:11,156
♪ Girls, they make me
move my body ♪
2032
01:23:11,157 --> 01:23:13,091
♪ Girls are happy,
girls are sweet ♪
2033
01:23:13,092 --> 01:23:14,693
♪ Girls, they make me
move my feet ♪
2034
01:23:14,694 --> 01:23:16,728
♪ Girls, they love
to make me trade ♪
2035
01:23:16,729 --> 01:23:18,630
♪ Make me hollah, but she fakin' ♪
2036
01:23:18,631 --> 01:23:20,565
♪ Girls, they like
to buy me clothes ♪
2037
01:23:20,566 --> 01:23:22,500
♪ Take me dancin', my nose ♪
2038
01:23:22,501 --> 01:23:26,037
♪ Crazy
2039
01:23:26,038 --> 01:23:28,773
♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy
2040
01:23:28,774 --> 01:23:30,108
♪ Take me dancin', my nose ♪
2041
01:23:30,109 --> 01:23:33,812
♪ Crazy, Crazy
2042
01:23:33,813 --> 01:23:36,448
♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy
2043
01:23:36,449 --> 01:23:38,715
♪ I love them girls
2044
01:23:44,122 --> 01:23:46,456
♪ I love them girls
133957
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