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1
00:01:05,220 --> 00:01:09,140
-Guess how fast we're going now.
-I don't care, I'm having a baby!
2
00:01:09,380 --> 00:01:12,300
Hundred and five miles an hour,
you believe that?
3
00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:20,340
Reese, you just passed the hospital!
4
00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:25,180
-The baby's coming, he's coming now!
-All right, all right, hold on.
5
00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:28,300
-Okay, but I think he might be stuck.
-Grab onto something. Ready?
6
00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:30,460
One, two, three!
7
00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:39,300
It's a baby boy.
8
00:01:41,540 --> 00:01:44,460
I'm happy that Waffle House
was okay with me coming here...
9
00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,780
...to talk to y'all about
my day-to-day.
10
00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:49,820
And, y'all, that's pretty much,
in a shell...
11
00:01:50,060 --> 00:01:52,260
...what it's like to manage
a Waffle House.
12
00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:54,940
Ma'am, I don't know what else
you want me to say to them.
13
00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:57,500
And I'm also gonna need to know
where your commode's at.
14
00:01:57,740 --> 00:02:00,380
Okay, let's give him a round
of applause. Thank you.
15
00:02:01,780 --> 00:02:04,420
Okay, next up is Ricky Bobby.
Ricky, is your father here?
16
00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:07,940
No, ma'am.
I haven't seen my daddy in years.
17
00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:10,260
But my mama say he's out
racing cars...
18
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,740
...and, well, dipping his wick
in anything that moves.
19
00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:17,380
Okay, kids, that's enough.
We're gonna move on to Brennan.
20
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:19,420
Don't pay them no mind, Ricky.
21
00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:22,980
Thanks, Cal. Shake and Bake.
You'll be my best friend forever.
22
00:02:23,220 --> 00:02:24,940
--his job is like as a prison guard.
23
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,980
Excuse me, darling.
I'm Reese Bobby.
24
00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:30,460
I'm here for career day
with my son, Ricky.
25
00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:33,340
-Dad!
-Hey there, boy!
26
00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:36,380
Man, you got big. How long's it been?
Three, four months?
27
00:02:36,620 --> 00:02:38,500
-Ten years.
-Ten years?
28
00:02:38,740 --> 00:02:40,940
Man, I gotta lay off the peyote.
29
00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:42,700
Mr. Bobby,
there's no smoking in here.
30
00:02:42,940 --> 00:02:44,660
It's all right, I'm a volunteer fireman.
31
00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:48,620
Okay, I am a semi-professional
racecar driver...
32
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,420
...and an amateur tattoo artist.
33
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,660
And the first thing you gotta learn
if you're gonna be a racecar driver...
34
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,340
...is you don't listen to losers...
35
00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:01,900
-...like your know-it-all teacher here.
-Okay, I think that's enough.
36
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,060
Your teacher wants you to go slow,
and she's wrong...
37
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:08,820
...because it's the fastest who gets paid
and it's the fastest who gets laid.
38
00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:14,420
Oh, yeah.
You know what I'm talking about.
39
00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:17,060
You people are in the wrong
on this one!
40
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,340
So in the wrong!
41
00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:22,340
This is egregious,
do you hear me? Egregious!
42
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:28,940
We were cellmates together, Andy.
You got payback coming!
43
00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:32,460
Dad!
44
00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:35,220
Don't listen to these people, Ricky.
You're a winner.
45
00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:40,340
You got the gift. Always remember,
if you ain't first, you're last.
46
00:03:43,380 --> 00:03:47,100
If you ain't first, you're last.
47
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:50,300
-See you when you're grown up.
-Dad! Come back, Dad!
48
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,140
It's a hot one here in Talladega...
49
00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:09,860
...and this crowd of over 180,000
is enjoying one heck of a day.
50
00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:27,580
Yo, Terry. Terry, we got the caution.
Bring it in for a pit. Let's work on it.
51
00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:41,220
All right, fellas, let's go.
52
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,940
Looking good. Yes, come on.
53
00:04:44,180 --> 00:04:45,300
Keep it up, baby.
54
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,660
-All right, way to go.
-Go, way to go.
55
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:50,380
Nice jack work, Ricky.
56
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:52,420
Hey, Shake and Bake, Cal.
57
00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:55,620
-Shake and Bake!
-Terry, it's all on you, bro. You go.
58
00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:57,980
Go, baby, go.
Wait, what are you doing?
59
00:04:58,220 --> 00:05:00,900
-I gotta take a piss.
-Go, go, go!
60
00:05:01,180 --> 00:05:03,700
It doesn't matter, Lucius.
We're in last place. Relax.
61
00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:06,660
Jeez, I gotta go take a whiz.
Get off my ass.
62
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,820
You see,
this is what I'm talking about.
63
00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:12,460
That's why this group right here
is the laughing stock of NASCAR.
64
00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:14,380
Face it, we suck.
65
00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:18,340
It's not always bad to be in last place.
Here's some things we can focus on:
66
00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:21,540
One, we tried hard.
And two, we're still dear friends.
67
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,140
Glenn, shut up.
68
00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:25,860
I see Terry.
He's having a chicken sandwich.
69
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:30,860
Hey, fellas! These are really good.
You should try one.
70
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,900
That place actually makes
a nice sauce.
71
00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:35,340
Let me eat this,
then I gotta make a phone call...
72
00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:38,260
-...then I'm coming back, all right?
-This is the bottom line.
73
00:05:38,340 --> 00:05:40,300
If we don't get that car
back on the track...
74
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:43,100
...our sponsors are gonna
shit a chicken.
75
00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:48,260
Now, is there anyone out there
who wants to go fast? Anybody?
76
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:51,460
I wanna go fast.
77
00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:55,380
Hey, get him a suit. Hurry up,
make it snappy. Let's go.
78
00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:57,780
-Hustle up, hustle up.
-Hey, man!
79
00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:01,500
Remember when we got kicked out of
biology for playing with Matchbox cars?
80
00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:04,220
-Yeah!
-Who's retarded now?
81
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:07,460
-Yeah.
-Hey, what are you doing after this?
82
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,060
-After the race?
-Yeah.
83
00:06:09,340 --> 00:06:12,300
I don't know, but it feels like
we're wasting a lot of time.
84
00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:14,500
No, I know, I know.
I'm just excited, man!
85
00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:18,100
-Yeah, I know. Yeah.
-Hey! I love you!
86
00:06:18,340 --> 00:06:19,820
-What?
-Nothing.
87
00:06:20,740 --> 00:06:22,820
Shake and Bake! Get some!
88
00:06:23,940 --> 00:06:27,180
You're my best friend!
You're my best friend!
89
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,060
-Okay, then!
-I'm in there with you!
90
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,140
-I gotta get going!
-Go, go!
91
00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:38,380
-Yeah!
-That's Ricky, baby!
92
00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:39,900
That's my boy, Ricky!
93
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:46,420
Hey, Ricky,
just remember one thing:
94
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:49,580
If you wreck that car,
that's 200 grand out of your pocket...
95
00:06:49,820 --> 00:06:51,780
...so let's take it nice and slow, okay?
96
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:55,700
With all due respect, Lucius,
I'm gonna do some driving.
97
00:06:59,020 --> 00:07:00,540
Excuse me, coming through.
98
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:05,900
Apparently, we've got a situation for
the Laughing Clown, number 26 car.
99
00:07:06,140 --> 00:07:08,900
Terry Cheveaux is refusing to drive.
One of his crew members...
100
00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:10,380
...has taken the wheel.
101
00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:13,740
Hey, just wanted to share a little piece
of personal information with you.
102
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:15,220
I got a chubby right now...
103
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:18,460
...because this is one of the most
awesome experiences of my life...
104
00:07:18,540 --> 00:07:20,260
...because I'm getting to
drive a racecar!
105
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,140
I can't believe it! Oh, my God!
106
00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:42,500
Wow, that was cool.
107
00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:44,580
Come on, come on.
108
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:54,420
The big story from Talladega:
109
00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:57,860
Little-known jack-man Ricky Bobby
places third in the Dennit machine.
110
00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:01,300
Ricky, first of all,
where did you learn to drive like that?
111
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:05,540
In a car.
Car handle really good. Yeah.
112
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,460
Can you speak up, Ricky?
113
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,540
A car.
It handled real good.
114
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:12,140
So, what do you think, Mr. Dennit?
He sure can drive.
115
00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:15,740
He's got guts.
Dennit Racing needs a racer like him.
116
00:08:15,980 --> 00:08:17,660
Come on, Dad.
He's just a stupid cowboy.
117
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:19,420
Look how bad he is
in that interview.
118
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:23,420
Junior, driving has got nothing
to do with interviews.
119
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,500
I just wish to hell you had
a little more stupid cowboy in you.
120
00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:30,300
I felt like I was on a spaceship and....
121
00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:33,020
I'm not sure
what to do with my hands.
122
00:08:33,260 --> 00:08:35,100
Be good to hold them down
by your side.
123
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:39,340
We're really happy
with what was going on.
124
00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:44,420
And at the end of the day, you know,
you gotta be happy.
125
00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:48,580
-What did you say his name was again?
-His name is Ricky. Ricky Bobby.
126
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,420
Ricky Bobby?
He's got two first names.
127
00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:53,460
Whatever his name is,
let's get him over here.
128
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,860
Everything ended up fine.
129
00:08:57,140 --> 00:09:00,260
Yeah, okay, everything was fine.
Thanks, thanks. Great job in the car.
130
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,780
Ricky Bobby, a force to be
reckoned with, possibly...
131
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,300
...in the near future.
132
00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:06,540
Ricky Bobby with yet another
impressive win.
133
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,420
He is dominating NAS CAR.
134
00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:11,300
First or last, baby, you know it!
135
00:09:11,340 --> 00:09:14,300
I've never seen a driver who
wants to win more than this guy.
136
00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:16,900
I could get used to
this winning thing!
137
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:35,740
Dennit Racing Incorporated
has decided to field an additional car.
138
00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:38,820
And, at the urging of Ricky Bobby...
139
00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:43,140
...who's been like a son to me,
only better...
140
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:46,740
...I'm naming Cal Naughton Jr.
as the driver.
141
00:09:48,940 --> 00:09:50,340
All right.
142
00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:52,340
-Cal Naughton.
-Hey...
143
00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:55,140
...we just want to say to all
you other drivers out there...
144
00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:58,380
...if you smell a delicious,
crispy smell after the race...
145
00:09:58,420 --> 00:10:01,660
...it's not your tailpipe,
it's a little bit...
146
00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:03,380
...of shake....
147
00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:05,900
And then bake.
148
00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:07,420
Shake and Bake!
149
00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:10,180
-That's our nickname.
-Get used to hearing it.
150
00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:12,220
And Ricky Bobby wins...
151
00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:14,740
...with Cal Naughton Jr.
finishing second.
152
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:18,220
-Yeah!
-Hey, man!
153
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,580
-Shake....
-And Bake!
154
00:10:22,420 --> 00:10:25,300
Hey, driver! Drive these.
155
00:10:28,740 --> 00:10:30,300
Please be 18.
156
00:10:40,780 --> 00:10:43,660
You want to make this out
to Charlotte?
157
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:45,420
Hey, excuse me, Ricky.
158
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:47,460
-Hey, Dale.
-Hey, can I get your autograph?
159
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,660
-Sure. Who do I make this out to?
-It's for me. I think you're awesome.
160
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,340
-Don't tell the other drivers.
-I'm not gonna tell anyone.
161
00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:54,900
I'll see you out there.
162
00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:57,100
Absolutely, ma'am,
I'd love to sign your baby.
163
00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:59,300
You're not gonna wanna wash
that forehead.
164
00:10:59,580 --> 00:11:03,300
-That's right, Powerade's number one.
-Not just for hydration, for vitamin.
165
00:11:03,340 --> 00:11:05,940
No, it's me,
it's me, Susan, your assistant.
166
00:11:06,220 --> 00:11:08,180
Gotta watch it when I get into
autograph mode.
167
00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:11,260
I know, I'm sorry. It's my fault,
I shouldn't have been standing.
168
00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:14,020
I'm Ricky Bobby.
Christmas is right around the corner...
169
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:16,220
...and what better gift
to give a loved one...
170
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,980
...than the Jackhawk 9000?
171
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,460
Available at Wal-Mart.
172
00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:22,140
When you work on
your mysterious lady-part stuff...
173
00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:25,740
...you should have the right tools too.
So that's why you should use...
174
00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:27,780
...Maypax, the official tampon
of NASCAR.
175
00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:30,740
I'm Ricky Bobby.
176
00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:34,180
If you don't chew Big Red,
then f*** you.
177
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:39,780
Prune candy.
178
00:11:42,340 --> 00:11:43,380
-You happy?
-I'm very happy.
179
00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:46,060
-Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby.
-And I'm Cal Naughton Jr.
180
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:48,540
Urging you never to travel
to Tijuana.
181
00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:50,460
Ricky! Ricky! Ricky!
182
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,780
Okay, I'm starting to get sick.
183
00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:56,700
Dick Berggren in Las Vegas,
Victory Lane, for Fox Television.
184
00:11:56,940 --> 00:11:59,820
Ricky Bobby, today's big winner.
Heck of a win for you today...
185
00:12:00,060 --> 00:12:04,060
...but it seems as if you either win
or crash the car trying to win.
186
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:07,420
Well, Dick, here's the deal.
I'm the best there is, plain and simple.
187
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,940
I mean, I wake up in the morning
and I piss excellence.
188
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,100
And nobody can hang with my stuff.
189
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:15,420
You know, I'm just a big, hairy,
American winning machine.
190
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:18,540
If you ain't first, you're last.
You know what I'm talking about?
191
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,100
That phrase is trademarked...
192
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,700
...not to be used without permission
of Ricky Bobby Inc.
193
00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:33,340
Supper's ready! Come on, y'all!
I've been slaving over this for hours!
194
00:12:35,540 --> 00:12:37,380
Dear Lord baby Jesus...
195
00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:41,020
...or as our brothers
to the south call you, Jesus...
196
00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:47,300
...we thank you so much for this
bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC...
197
00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:50,380
...and the always delicious Taco Bell.
198
00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:53,380
I just want to take time to say
thank you for my family...
199
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:57,100
...my two beautiful, beautiful,
handsome, striking sons...
200
00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:59,700
...Walker and Texas Ranger...
201
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,940
...or T.R., as we call him...
202
00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:04,900
...and of course,
my red-hot smoking wife, Carley...
203
00:13:05,140 --> 00:13:06,860
...who is a stone-cold fox.
204
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,700
Who if you were to rate her ass
on 100, it would easily be a 94.
205
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:14,340
Also wanna thank you for
my best friend, Cal Naughton Jr...
206
00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:16,340
...who's got my back
no matter what.
207
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,500
Shake and Bake.
208
00:13:18,740 --> 00:13:21,820
Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also
thank you for my wife's father, Chip.
209
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,300
We hope that you can use
your baby Jesus powers...
210
00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:27,260
...to heal him and his horrible leg.
211
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:31,060
And it smells terrible and
the dogs are always bothering with it.
212
00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:32,900
Dear tiny infant Jesus, we--
213
00:13:33,140 --> 00:13:34,860
Hey, you know, sweetie...
214
00:13:35,620 --> 00:13:37,300
...Jesus did grow up.
215
00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:39,460
You don't always have to
call him "baby."
216
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,340
It's odd and off-putting
to pray to a baby.
217
00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:44,380
Well, I like the Christmas Jesus best
and I'm saying grace.
218
00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:47,220
When you say grace, say it to
grownup Jesus, teenage Jesus...
219
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,860
...bearded Jesus,
whoever you want.
220
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,380
You know what I want?
221
00:13:50,420 --> 00:13:55,060
I want you to do this grace good,
so that God will let us win tomorrow.
222
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,060
Dear tiny Jesus...
223
00:13:57,300 --> 00:14:02,060
...in your golden-fleece diapers,
with your tiny, little, fat, balled-up fists...
224
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:04,740
-...pawing at the air....
-He was a man. He had a beard.
225
00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:07,340
Look, I like the baby version the best,
do you hear me?
226
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,300
I win the races and I get the money.
227
00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:13,140
Ricky, finish the damn grace.
228
00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:16,100
I like to picture Jesus
in a tuxedo T-shirt...
229
00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:18,940
...because it says, like,
"I wanna be formal...
230
00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:20,860
-Right.
-...but I'm here to party too."
231
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,380
Because I like to party,
so I like my Jesus to party.
232
00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:27,220
I like to picture Jesus as a ninja
fighting off evil samurai.
233
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:31,380
I like to think of Jesus,
like, with giant eagle's wings.
234
00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:34,460
And singing lead vocals
for Lynyrd Skynyrd...
235
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:36,460
...with, like, a angel band.
236
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:39,420
And I'm in the front row,
and I'm hammered drunk.
237
00:14:39,660 --> 00:14:41,380
Hey, Cal?
Why don't you just shut up?
238
00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:43,540
-Yes, ma'am.
-Okay.
239
00:14:43,780 --> 00:14:49,220
Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce,
newborn infant Jesus...
240
00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:51,340
...don't even know a word yet...
241
00:14:51,580 --> 00:14:55,540
...just a little infant and so cuddly,
but still omnipotent...
242
00:14:55,780 --> 00:15:00,300
...we just thank you for all the races
I've won and the 2 1.2 million dollars--
243
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:04,220
Love that money!
244
00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:06,820
--that I have accrued
over this past season.
245
00:15:07,060 --> 00:15:09,180
Also, due to a binding
endorsement contract...
246
00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:11,820
...that stipulates I mention
Powerade at each grace...
247
00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:14,340
...I just wanna say that
Powerade is delicious...
248
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,580
...and it cools you off
on a hot summer day.
249
00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:22,460
And we look forward to Powerade's
release of Mystic Mountain BIueberry.
250
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:26,100
Thank you for all your power
and your grace, dear baby God. Amen.
251
00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:27,380
-Amen.
-Amen.
252
00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:28,900
Let's dig in!
253
00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:32,140
That was a hell of a grace, man.
You nailed that like a split hog!
254
00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:34,100
I'm not gonna lie to you, it felt good.
255
00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:35,980
Dad, you made that grace your bitch.
256
00:15:36,260 --> 00:15:38,460
Hey, boys, I wanna see
some napkins in the lap.
257
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:40,060
Boys, how was school today?
258
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:43,340
I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's
war medals off the bridge.
259
00:15:44,180 --> 00:15:46,900
Sounds like a good day.
Texas Ranger, how about you?
260
00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:50,380
Well, the teacher asked me what
was the capital of North Carolina.
261
00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:52,460
I said, "Washington, D.C."
262
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:53,460
-Bingo.
-Nice.
263
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:57,900
She said, "No, you're wrong."
I said, "You got a Iumpy butt."
264
00:15:58,140 --> 00:16:01,300
She got mad at me and yelled at me
and I pissed in my pants.
265
00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:04,300
And I never did change
my pee pants all day.
266
00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:06,460
I'm still sitting in my dirty pee pants.
267
00:16:06,740 --> 00:16:10,020
I wet my bed until I was 19.
There's no shame in that.
268
00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:14,620
I get emotional because
you guys are working so hard.
269
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:17,820
I'm just so proud of you.
You remind me of me...
270
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,620
...precocious and full of wonderment.
271
00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:21,740
Tell you what, Ricky,
you are truly blessed.
272
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:24,340
-These two are two in a million.
-I am.
273
00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:26,460
Just like Carley's tatas.
274
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,820
You won't find another rack like that,
I guarantee.
275
00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:30,660
Thank you, Cal.
276
00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:32,420
That's real sweet of you, Cal.
277
00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:35,380
That's real nice. That's one of
the nicest things you've ever said.
278
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:38,180
-Well, I mean it.
-Stop, you're gonna make me cry.
279
00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:40,060
It comes from my heart, that's why.
280
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:42,340
I can't hold my tongue.
281
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:45,860
These kids are my grandchildren,
and you are raising them wrong.
282
00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:47,380
They are terrible boys.
283
00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:50,180
Shut up, Chip,
or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!
284
00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:52,860
I'm gonna scissor-kick you
in the back of the head.
285
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,980
-Yeah!
-Yeah. Turn up the heat.
286
00:16:55,220 --> 00:16:56,700
Go on and get some, boys.
287
00:16:56,940 --> 00:16:59,300
I'm 10 years old,
but I'll beat your ass.
288
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,980
Chip, I'm gonna come at you
like a spider monkey.
289
00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:03,860
Like a spider monkey! Go on.
290
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,260
Chip, you brought this on.
291
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,340
The greatest generation, my ass.
292
00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:09,060
Tom Brokaw is a punk.
293
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:10,300
What is wrong with you?
294
00:17:10,340 --> 00:17:12,620
Chip, I'm all jacked up
on Mountain Dew.
295
00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:14,500
I love that.
296
00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:18,300
You gonna let your sons talk to their
grandfather like that? I'm their elder.
297
00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:21,380
I sure as hell am, Chip.
I love the way they're talking to you.
298
00:17:21,660 --> 00:17:24,380
They're winners.
Winners get to do what they want.
299
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:26,060
Hell, you're just a bag of bones.
300
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:29,020
Only thing you ever done with your life
is make a hot daughter.
301
00:17:29,260 --> 00:17:31,220
That's it. That is it!
302
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:32,540
We wanted us some wussies...
303
00:17:32,780 --> 00:17:35,460
...we would've named them Dr. Quinn
and Medicine Woman, okay?
304
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,780
I work too hard for your bull, Chip.
305
00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:39,780
Come here.
You make me hot. Come here.
306
00:17:40,820 --> 00:17:42,260
Everyone just keep eating.
307
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:44,980
-It's on.
-Come here. Come here.
308
00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:48,820
All right.
309
00:17:49,580 --> 00:17:51,420
I'll hold your hair.
310
00:18:03,820 --> 00:18:05,420
-Hey, Stephen.
-Hey, Ricky.
311
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,380
Got those two tickets
for my special friend?
312
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:11,300
Yeah, sure do. You know I do, Ricky.
Got them right here, buddy.
313
00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:13,660
Great. Hey,
how's your mama's hip?
314
00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:15,980
She's gonna be all right,
thank you for asking.
315
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,260
-Appreciate it. Hey, good Iuck today.
-Thanks.
316
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,780
That's the saddest thing
I've ever seen in my life.
317
00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:23,700
That boy leaves two tickets
for his daddy at every race...
318
00:18:23,980 --> 00:18:25,260
...and he never shows up.
319
00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:27,220
That's a shame.
320
00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:30,380
The human heart is such a mystery.
321
00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:33,900
-Let's sell these bitches, huh?
-Hell, yeah.
322
00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:36,900
-Beer money, huh?
-There you go. Yes.
323
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:40,540
As the laps wind down,
Jamie McMurray is the leader.
324
00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:43,820
Cal Naughton in second.
Ricky Bobby in third.
325
00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:46,540
What's up, Cal? You ready
for a little Shake-and-Bake-age?
326
00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:49,540
-Hey, buddy.
-Naughton Jr. is letting Ricky Bobby...
327
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:53,300
...draft up to him to make
that slingshot move past McMurray.
328
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:56,140
Can you believe that he would do that
for his teammate?
329
00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:57,940
Set him up that way?
330
00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:01,140
Slingshot, engage.
331
00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:05,260
And there goes Ricky Bobby
on the outside!
332
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:06,500
That's how we do it.
333
00:19:06,740 --> 00:19:09,260
Makes his move.
Naughton's giving him plenty of room.
334
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:12,020
What in the hell is he doing, guys?
Get him off of me.
335
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:14,340
They touch! They spin!
336
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,620
Snap!
337
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:19,580
Come on, man!
338
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:25,660
See you, wouldn't wanna be you.
339
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:39,980
Look at that! Ricky Bobby's gonna
try to win the race in reverse.
340
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,860
Man, he wants this win bad!
341
00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:45,700
Ricky Bobby wins it in reverse!
342
00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:47,740
Unbelievable!
I love that! That is cool!
343
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:52,900
Jamie, losing's never fun, but here's
something to pick your spirits up.
344
00:19:53,140 --> 00:19:55,700
It's real nice.
I got it at Target. It's on sale.
345
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,980
Yeah!
346
00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:12,060
-That's it. Another one. Another one.
-All right, man. We did it!
347
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,700
I don't wanna be raining on
your parade, but I gotta tell you...
348
00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:20,020
...that was some of the dumbest driving
I have ever seen in my life.
349
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,100
-Thank you.
-And I know you won the race...
350
00:20:22,340 --> 00:20:23,820
...but you're not gonna live forever.
351
00:20:24,060 --> 00:20:26,820
I'm not stupid, Lucius.
No one lives forever. No one.
352
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:31,340
But with advances in modern science
and my high level of income...
353
00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:34,860
...I mean, it's not crazy to think
I can't live to be 2 45, maybe 300.
354
00:20:35,140 --> 00:20:38,500
I just read in the newspaper they
put a pig heart in some Russian guy.
355
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:41,100
Know what--? I mean,
do you know what that means?
356
00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:43,860
No, I don't know what that means.
I guess, longer life.
357
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:45,900
-Well, no, he didn't live.
-He didn't live?
358
00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:48,700
No. It's just exciting
that we're trying things like that.
359
00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:51,540
-Ricky?
-Hey, Mr. Dennit.
360
00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:53,820
-Cheers.
-Yeah.
361
00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:56,420
-She already wasted?
-Celebrating.
362
00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:58,740
She's celebrating.
You feel pretty good today, huh?
363
00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:00,940
Look, Ricky,
early word out of NASCAR...
364
00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:03,860
...is your little obscene gesture's
gonna cost you 100 points.
365
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:06,380
You know how much that costs us
in sponsorship dollars?
366
00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:08,300
With all due respect, Mr. Dennit...
367
00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:13,500
...I had no idea you had experimental
surgery to have your balls removed.
368
00:21:13,780 --> 00:21:15,740
What did you say?
What was that?
369
00:21:16,020 --> 00:21:17,820
Well, what?
I said, "With all due respect."
370
00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:20,740
That doesn't mean you get to say
whatever you wanna say to me.
371
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,580
-It sure as heck does.
-No, it doesn't.
372
00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:24,420
It's in the Geneva Convention.
Look it up.
373
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:26,820
I remember your daddy
used to love it.
374
00:21:27,060 --> 00:21:31,660
-This is not my dad-- This is my team--
-Used to love it when I used to win.
375
00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:34,380
Now, I suggest you and your wife,
Mrs. Jim Beam...
376
00:21:34,420 --> 00:21:36,580
...you guys go take a chill pill.
Enjoy the win!
377
00:21:36,820 --> 00:21:38,500
-Come on, man!
-Yeah, Ricky. Okay.
378
00:21:38,740 --> 00:21:40,380
Baby, photo op, photo op.
Come on.
379
00:21:40,660 --> 00:21:42,300
Come on, number one.
380
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:45,260
Hold my hand, baby.
381
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:56,460
I'll tell you what, though, guys,
that was a hell of a race today.
382
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:59,380
-Shake and Bake in full effect.
-It's always been like that.
383
00:22:01,260 --> 00:22:03,340
Me and Ricky,
since we were little kids, man.
384
00:22:03,380 --> 00:22:06,660
We go together like Chinese food
and chocolate pudding. Let's face it.
385
00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:09,540
Yeah, but those are two things
that don't really go together.
386
00:22:09,780 --> 00:22:12,260
We go together
like cocaine and waffles.
387
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:15,180
No, like, for instance,
if I say peanut butter and....
388
00:22:15,780 --> 00:22:17,660
-Ladies, right?
-Yep.
389
00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:19,060
-No, jelly.
-Am I right?
390
00:22:19,340 --> 00:22:21,420
-Jelly?
-You like to put jelly on a lady?
391
00:22:21,660 --> 00:22:24,460
I'm gonna settle this thing.
Let's just get ourselves...
392
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:28,540
...a whole mess of cocktails,
get drunk and work this thing out.
393
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:30,380
-Work this thing out.
-That's right.
394
00:22:31,340 --> 00:22:35,260
So I was talking to Nana on Saturday,
and her birthday's coming up...
395
00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:37,660
...but I don't know what to get her.
She's gonna be 88.
396
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:39,540
Get her a coffin.
397
00:22:45,460 --> 00:22:49,420
Hey, Cal, I'm sorry
about wrecking you today.
398
00:22:49,460 --> 00:22:53,460
-I mean, but that was for the team.
-No, that's cool. That's cool, I know.
399
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:56,060
I was thinking, though, one time...
400
00:22:56,340 --> 00:23:00,860
...it would be really awesome if, like,
you could slingshot me in for a win.
401
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:03,620
Yeah, but-- Okay, but if you won...
402
00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:06,220
-...how am I gonna win?
-Yeah.
403
00:23:06,460 --> 00:23:08,940
-Think about it.
-No, I was thinking about it.
404
00:23:09,180 --> 00:23:11,260
I mean, it's not like
you're finishing 18th.
405
00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:14,380
-There's nothing wrong with silver.
-Nothing wrong with silver at all.
406
00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:16,940
I'm just kidding you, man.
I don't wanna win.
407
00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:20,700
I'll just bury it down inside.
408
00:23:20,980 --> 00:23:23,620
Bury it deep down in there,
and never bring it up again.
409
00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:26,060
It's painful, and I love you!
410
00:23:26,340 --> 00:23:28,140
Get her a gigolo.
411
00:23:28,380 --> 00:23:30,980
-What?
-A guy to have sex with her.
412
00:23:31,220 --> 00:23:33,100
No, she's gonna be 88 and....
413
00:23:33,340 --> 00:23:35,860
You don't stop liking sex
when you're old.
414
00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:40,340
Well, I was thinking
more along the line of....
415
00:23:40,580 --> 00:23:45,060
-Like, she likes afghans and quilts.
-She's probably got a million of those.
416
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:48,340
How many dudes does she have
coming over to have sex with her?
417
00:23:48,780 --> 00:23:51,620
-None.
-Exactly.
418
00:23:51,980 --> 00:23:53,980
Be thoughtful, Glenn.
419
00:23:55,340 --> 00:23:56,900
Don't stop.
420
00:24:03,780 --> 00:24:04,740
What is that?
421
00:24:05,020 --> 00:24:07,460
Someone made a tape of
something dying or something.
422
00:24:07,540 --> 00:24:09,500
Hey, turn that crap off.
What's going on?
423
00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:11,620
I want this music out of my head.
424
00:24:11,860 --> 00:24:13,420
Hey, turn that off!
425
00:24:14,140 --> 00:24:15,820
Turn that off right now!
426
00:24:21,420 --> 00:24:24,060
Why did you stop the jazz music?
427
00:24:25,780 --> 00:24:28,060
Was it not pleasant for you?
428
00:24:28,340 --> 00:24:31,180
No one plays jazz here
at The Pit Stop, okay?
429
00:24:31,420 --> 00:24:33,820
So why is the song on the jukebox?
430
00:24:34,100 --> 00:24:37,260
We keep it on there
for profiling purposes.
431
00:24:37,300 --> 00:24:40,420
We also got
the Pet Shop Boys and Seal.
432
00:24:41,260 --> 00:24:44,180
My name is Jean Girard...
433
00:24:44,380 --> 00:24:47,940
...and I am a racing-car driver
just like you...
434
00:24:48,180 --> 00:24:51,180
...except I am from Formula Un.
435
00:24:52,820 --> 00:24:55,660
I am the greatest one
in the whole world.
436
00:24:55,900 --> 00:25:01,340
I have been following your career
with great interest, Monsieur Bobby.
437
00:25:01,620 --> 00:25:04,060
I can't understand a word
you've said the whole time.
438
00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:06,060
Did you eat peanut butter
or something?
439
00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:09,260
You sound like a dog with peanut butter
on the roof of your mouth.
440
00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:12,980
I think what you are hearing
is my accent.
441
00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:15,660
I am French.
442
00:25:15,900 --> 00:25:17,420
You say you're French?
443
00:25:18,460 --> 00:25:21,420
We? No, we are not French.
444
00:25:21,860 --> 00:25:24,780
We're American,
because you're in America, okay?
445
00:25:25,020 --> 00:25:26,460
Greatest country on the planet.
446
00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:28,460
Well, what have you
given the world...
447
00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:32,860
...apart from George Bush, Cheerios,
and the ThighMaster?
448
00:25:33,140 --> 00:25:34,940
-Chinese food?
-Chinese food.
449
00:25:35,220 --> 00:25:36,460
That's from China.
450
00:25:36,540 --> 00:25:38,660
-Pizza.
-Italy.
451
00:25:38,940 --> 00:25:41,340
-Chimichanga.
-Mexican.
452
00:25:41,620 --> 00:25:44,300
Really, smarty-pants?
What did French land give us?
453
00:25:44,340 --> 00:25:48,620
We invented democracy,
existentialism...
454
00:25:48,860 --> 00:25:50,060
...and the blowjob.
455
00:25:51,100 --> 00:25:53,180
-Those are three pretty good things.
-Hey.
456
00:25:53,420 --> 00:25:54,900
Well, that last one's pretty cool.
457
00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:59,820
You know, the 69 with
the head near the-- That bit.
458
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,260
We came up with it.
459
00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:03,820
We created the missionary position.
460
00:26:04,060 --> 00:26:07,580
-You're welcome.
-Ricky Bobby...
461
00:26:07,860 --> 00:26:10,860
...I have come here to defeat you.
462
00:26:11,140 --> 00:26:13,900
Oh, well, there's strikes two and three
right there.
463
00:26:14,460 --> 00:26:16,140
Did you hear what he just said?
464
00:26:17,460 --> 00:26:19,580
Well, welcome to America, amigo.
465
00:26:24,860 --> 00:26:27,660
You are fast, Ricky Bobby...
466
00:26:28,340 --> 00:26:30,140
...but I am faster.
467
00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:34,020
All right, you let go of me,
you Formula One jazz nutjob!
468
00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:36,700
Like the frightened baby chipmunk...
469
00:26:36,940 --> 00:26:39,700
...you are scared by anything
that is different.
470
00:26:39,940 --> 00:26:42,300
I will let you go, Ricky...
471
00:26:42,380 --> 00:26:46,660
...but first I want you to say:
472
00:26:48,260 --> 00:26:51,580
"I love crepes."
473
00:26:52,380 --> 00:26:55,380
Don't you say it, Ricky.
These colors don't run.
474
00:26:55,420 --> 00:26:57,180
-I'm not gonna say it.
-Good.
475
00:26:57,420 --> 00:26:59,420
Hey, look, Frenchy,
I thought about it.
476
00:26:59,660 --> 00:27:01,940
So why don't you go ahead
and break my arm?
477
00:27:02,180 --> 00:27:05,260
I do not want to break your arm,
Monsieur Bobby...
478
00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:07,020
...but I am a man of my word.
479
00:27:07,260 --> 00:27:09,340
Here's the deal.
He's not gonna break it...
480
00:27:09,380 --> 00:27:11,860
...because I'm gonna slip
out of it right now. Houdini.
481
00:27:12,100 --> 00:27:13,420
Get down, you little pancake.
482
00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:15,140
Someone get me a beer
while I'm here.
483
00:27:15,420 --> 00:27:17,420
But you have forced me to do this.
484
00:27:17,700 --> 00:27:20,380
You are now mocking me
and making me look ridiculous.
485
00:27:20,620 --> 00:27:22,380
Just say, "I love crepes."
486
00:27:22,420 --> 00:27:26,300
You know, just to put this in there, I had
a whole mess of crepes this morning.
487
00:27:26,540 --> 00:27:28,460
They're like pancakes,
maybe even better.
488
00:27:28,500 --> 00:27:31,380
-Are they the really thin pancakes?
-Yeah.
489
00:27:31,420 --> 00:27:34,420
They are the really thin pancakes.
It's just a French word for them.
490
00:27:34,660 --> 00:27:37,260
-My God, I love those.
-Put any syrups you want on them.
491
00:27:37,300 --> 00:27:40,300
-I'm saying, think about it.
-They come with cheese sometimes?
492
00:27:40,340 --> 00:27:42,220
Yes, of course,
a fromage-crepe.
493
00:27:42,300 --> 00:27:44,340
Well, why didn't someone
yell that right away?
494
00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:46,300
You know what's in
the crepe suzette?
495
00:27:46,340 --> 00:27:48,460
-Oh, I love the crepe suzette.
-With the sugar...
496
00:27:48,740 --> 00:27:51,340
-...and lemon juice, Grand Marnier.
-Sugar and lemon juice.
497
00:27:51,660 --> 00:27:54,060
I wish I could crawl into
one of those right now.
498
00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:57,900
-I'd eat my way out from the inside.
-They are tasty.
499
00:27:58,140 --> 00:28:00,540
Either way this goes, could we
get some after we're done?
500
00:28:00,780 --> 00:28:03,380
-Absolutely. We're gonna do that.
-So, what if you just said:
501
00:28:03,620 --> 00:28:07,900
"I love really thin pancakes"?
That is a fair compromise, no?
502
00:28:08,140 --> 00:28:10,300
-That is a fair compromise.
-Very fair, actually.
503
00:28:10,340 --> 00:28:13,180
No! Because then everyone
would know I really meant crepes.
504
00:28:13,420 --> 00:28:14,860
That's a pretty good compromise.
505
00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:17,980
Why do you want me
to break your arm so badly?
506
00:28:18,220 --> 00:28:21,340
You don't understand
because you don't understand liberty.
507
00:28:21,420 --> 00:28:23,380
You don't understand freedom.
508
00:28:23,460 --> 00:28:27,260
So you put a crack in my arm
like the crack in the Liberty Bell.
509
00:28:27,620 --> 00:28:30,380
Hey. This is just
between you and me, okay?
510
00:28:30,620 --> 00:28:32,820
I mean, forget all these other guys.
511
00:28:33,060 --> 00:28:35,740
But he did give you a pretty
decent out. But it's your call.
512
00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:37,620
What do you think?
513
00:28:38,380 --> 00:28:40,300
-Don't say it.
-Yeah. I'm not gonna say it.
514
00:28:40,380 --> 00:28:41,900
Break it, Pepe Le Pew.
515
00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:43,460
As you wish.
516
00:28:46,660 --> 00:28:50,860
-He actually did it!
-All right. You did it. Back off.
517
00:28:51,140 --> 00:28:52,900
-I didn't say it!
-No, you did not.
518
00:28:53,140 --> 00:28:56,460
Your injury is one
of ignorance and pride.
519
00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:01,380
Hold it right there,
Mr. Fancy Pants Foreigner.
520
00:29:01,460 --> 00:29:02,980
You just broke my bro's arm.
521
00:29:03,220 --> 00:29:04,740
Now you're about to get Tasered.
522
00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:08,900
-Say hello to Dr. Watts.
-Get him, Cal.
523
00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:13,260
I need you all to step away...
524
00:29:13,300 --> 00:29:14,700
...from my driver.
525
00:29:14,940 --> 00:29:17,860
The hell you talking about, "my driver"?
What are you doing with a gun?
526
00:29:18,100 --> 00:29:20,500
Don't you worry about my gun, Ricky.
527
00:29:20,740 --> 00:29:23,620
Jean Girard is my new boy
at Dennit Racing. He's here to win us...
528
00:29:23,860 --> 00:29:26,540
...an overall-points championship,
something you apparently...
529
00:29:26,780 --> 00:29:29,460
...have no interest in.
He's gonna usher in a new era.
530
00:29:29,540 --> 00:29:31,340
Mr. Dennit, with all due respect--
531
00:29:31,420 --> 00:29:33,740
And remember,
I'm saying, "with all due respect."
532
00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:38,380
--that idea ain't worth a velvet painting
of a whale and a dolphin getting it on.
533
00:29:38,620 --> 00:29:41,660
That's good. That's good fun.
That's good fun, Ricky...
534
00:29:41,900 --> 00:29:44,820
...but that doesn't bother me anymore
because Jean is the future...
535
00:29:45,060 --> 00:29:46,340
...Ricky, the past.
536
00:29:46,580 --> 00:29:48,820
So, Jean, introduce me
to your new teammates.
537
00:29:49,420 --> 00:29:53,620
Everybody,
this is my husband, Gregory.
538
00:29:53,860 --> 00:29:55,420
What?
539
00:29:56,460 --> 00:29:58,140
See you at the track.
540
00:29:58,660 --> 00:30:00,220
Did he just say "husband"?
541
00:30:00,460 --> 00:30:04,820
Sweet Lord. Dennit hired a gay
Frenchman as your teammate.
542
00:30:05,060 --> 00:30:07,420
The room's starting to spin real fast.
543
00:30:08,180 --> 00:30:10,940
Because of gayness.
544
00:30:12,540 --> 00:30:15,900
-Cal, I love you.
-Ricky? Ricky! Oh, God!
545
00:30:25,140 --> 00:30:29,860
Fans and NASCAR, everyone is talking
about this new driver, Jean Girard.
546
00:30:30,100 --> 00:30:33,460
Let's find out a little bit more about him
from our reporter, Davey Wesling.
547
00:30:33,740 --> 00:30:37,380
Talented. Eccentric. Dominating.
548
00:30:37,660 --> 00:30:41,060
These are the words
that define Jean Girard.
549
00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:46,180
Before each race, Jean Girard spends
time with his world-class horses...
550
00:30:46,420 --> 00:30:48,460
...who are also gay.
551
00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:51,060
Jean's days are filled
with sun-drenched walks...
552
00:30:51,300 --> 00:30:53,340
...with his beloved husband, Gregory.
553
00:30:54,340 --> 00:30:57,180
Though Gregory is
no stay-at-home spouse.
554
00:30:57,420 --> 00:31:00,340
He's a world-class trainer
of German shepherds.
555
00:31:00,380 --> 00:31:02,700
Rolfe, the Nazi boyfriend.
Up on top!
556
00:31:04,900 --> 00:31:07,260
Very nice. Very nice.
557
00:31:07,820 --> 00:31:11,460
Only time will tell if Jean's foray
into NAS CAR...
558
00:31:11,740 --> 00:31:13,780
...will end up in Victory Lane.
559
00:31:34,460 --> 00:31:36,660
Well, kiss my ass on Sunday.
560
00:31:37,460 --> 00:31:39,860
-Lucius, what the hell is going on?
-The man can drive.
561
00:31:40,140 --> 00:31:41,900
And check out his crew chief
over there.
562
00:31:42,180 --> 00:31:44,420
Won the Nobel Prize
for physics back in '93.
563
00:31:44,500 --> 00:31:47,460
Ladies and gentlemen,
that is a new track record.
564
00:31:47,700 --> 00:31:51,380
As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting
on the pole, which is, of course...
565
00:31:51,420 --> 00:31:53,700
...a statement of fact
and in no way a comment...
566
00:31:53,940 --> 00:31:55,740
...on the driver's sexual orientation.
567
00:31:55,980 --> 00:31:58,700
Put a smile on your face?
That's the future of Dennit Racing.
568
00:31:58,940 --> 00:32:01,380
-That make you happy?
-I'm just thrilled, Mr. Dennit.
569
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:03,540
I love seeing some French guy
break my record...
570
00:32:03,780 --> 00:32:06,580
...while I got my arm wrapped up
like a fricking gordita.
571
00:32:06,820 --> 00:32:08,300
Hello, Ricky Bobby.
572
00:32:09,100 --> 00:32:13,780
What happened last week was
very regrettable and unfortunate...
573
00:32:14,740 --> 00:32:17,620
...and, as a gesture, I would like to...
574
00:32:17,860 --> 00:32:19,380
...sign your cast, please.
575
00:32:19,420 --> 00:32:22,180
Hell, you know what,
get my car off the trailer, guys.
576
00:32:22,420 --> 00:32:23,980
Baby! That's my baby!
577
00:32:24,220 --> 00:32:27,420
Hold on, Ricky. Ricky, Ricky, Rick.
What are you talking about?
578
00:32:27,460 --> 00:32:31,180
Look. I wanna drive. My arm's fine.
So let's get the car off the trailer.
579
00:32:31,420 --> 00:32:33,340
Don't look at me.
Get it off the trailer!
580
00:32:33,580 --> 00:32:37,820
Even with a healthy arm, you don't
have a chance against Jean Girard.
581
00:32:38,060 --> 00:32:40,820
All right, fellas. You heard the man.
Get the car off. Let's go.
582
00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:42,460
You guys heard it.
583
00:32:43,220 --> 00:32:46,300
-What's going on?
-Soon you will know what it is like...
584
00:32:46,340 --> 00:32:51,020
...to be defeated by the hands of
somebody who is truly better than you.
585
00:32:52,780 --> 00:32:56,580
As William Blake wrote,
"The cut worm forgives the plow."
586
00:32:56,820 --> 00:32:59,660
Well, let me just quote the late,
great Colonel Sanders...
587
00:32:59,900 --> 00:33:03,380
...who said,
"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."
588
00:33:03,620 --> 00:33:05,460
What's that got to do with this?
589
00:33:05,700 --> 00:33:09,340
I got a message for all of them.
Ready? Shake and Bake!
590
00:33:09,580 --> 00:33:13,060
What does that do? Does that
blow your mind? That just happened!
591
00:33:13,300 --> 00:33:16,460
What is that, a catch phrase
or is that epilepsy?
592
00:33:16,700 --> 00:33:19,340
-Shake and Bake. Shake and Bake.
-What?
593
00:33:19,380 --> 00:33:24,220
Listen, you better be careful because
tomorrow you're going to get beaten.
594
00:33:24,300 --> 00:33:26,380
Beaten real bad, cowboy.
595
00:33:26,660 --> 00:33:28,100
-Really?
-Yes!
596
00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:30,300
-I don't want to know.
-That's news to me.
597
00:33:30,540 --> 00:33:33,860
-Tomorrow you'll be in trouble.
-I'll rip you a new one.
598
00:33:34,420 --> 00:33:37,420
There's going to be a croissant
I'm going to take away.
599
00:33:37,460 --> 00:33:38,700
I play for keeps!
600
00:33:39,300 --> 00:33:42,060
I give you one option,
Monsieur Bobby.
601
00:33:42,300 --> 00:33:45,300
As a sign of humility,
if you kiss me on the lips now...
602
00:33:45,540 --> 00:33:49,260
...I will return to Paris and you will
never see me again in NASCAR.
603
00:33:49,300 --> 00:33:50,780
The answer is never!
604
00:33:51,020 --> 00:33:53,620
-I close my--
-Do you hear me? Never ever!
605
00:33:53,860 --> 00:33:56,500
-Well, yes or no?
-That's sick.
606
00:33:59,420 --> 00:34:02,460
Let me tell you, hold on.
Shake and Bake.
607
00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:03,780
Yeah!
608
00:34:04,020 --> 00:34:05,780
What does that mean?
It makes no sense!
609
00:34:06,020 --> 00:34:07,740
This "Shake and Bake,"
it's nonsense.
610
00:34:07,980 --> 00:34:11,340
-Hey, baby. You guys are so smooth.
-Thanks, darling.
611
00:34:11,380 --> 00:34:14,420
Cal, you could say that 10,000 times
and it still wouldn't be enough.
612
00:34:14,660 --> 00:34:16,900
-It fires me up.
-I love it. Say it one more time.
613
00:34:17,140 --> 00:34:19,100
-Shake and Bake!
-Doesn't that feel good?
614
00:34:19,340 --> 00:34:23,380
Yeah! It rhymes,
they're both verbs. It's awesome.
615
00:34:46,180 --> 00:34:48,860
NAS CAR on Fox welcomes you
to Lowe's Motor Speedway...
616
00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:51,500
...where tonight we'll go 500 miles.
617
00:34:52,300 --> 00:34:56,060
The big stories tonight
are at both ends of the grid.
618
00:34:56,300 --> 00:35:00,500
Up front, Larry, the surprising French
Formula One driver, Jean Girard.
619
00:35:01,540 --> 00:35:04,980
And at the opposite end of the grid,
Darrell, Ricky Bobby.
620
00:35:05,220 --> 00:35:08,340
I saw Ricky Bobby last night walking
around with a cast on his arm.
621
00:35:08,420 --> 00:35:11,460
Now, I don't know who he conned
into letting him start this race.
622
00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:13,300
Just keep a camera on him
all night long.
623
00:35:15,020 --> 00:35:16,460
I am so excited.
624
00:35:16,500 --> 00:35:19,300
This is a new era
for Dennit Racing, huh?
625
00:35:19,340 --> 00:35:24,340
So serious all the time
about your big race team.
626
00:35:24,380 --> 00:35:28,020
-Who cares?
-But this is my life. This is my life.
627
00:35:28,260 --> 00:35:31,700
You know what? There's only one
good thing about coming to the races...
628
00:35:31,940 --> 00:35:35,700
...and that is
the vibrations from the cars.
629
00:35:35,980 --> 00:35:39,780
Oh, I love when them cars whiz by.
630
00:35:41,340 --> 00:35:43,500
Can feel the motor...
631
00:35:43,740 --> 00:35:46,020
...running up my legs.
632
00:35:48,460 --> 00:35:51,060
Ricky Bobby, who never met
a sponsor he wouldn't push...
633
00:35:51,300 --> 00:35:53,300
...has a Fig Newton sticker
on his windshield.
634
00:35:53,340 --> 00:35:55,340
Think NAS CAR will
black-flag him for that.
635
00:35:55,380 --> 00:35:56,820
He sold the windshield!
636
00:35:57,060 --> 00:36:00,740
This sticker is dangerous and
inconvenient, but I love Fig Newtons.
637
00:36:02,340 --> 00:36:04,420
Ricky Bobby started this race
in the back...
638
00:36:04,460 --> 00:36:06,900
...but he's making no friends
on the way to the front.
639
00:36:07,140 --> 00:36:10,740
I'm all about getting to the front tonight,
Lucius. Let's go! Let's move it!
640
00:36:11,020 --> 00:36:12,860
Well, he's driving
like a man possessed.
641
00:36:13,100 --> 00:36:16,860
I'm not even sure he realizes how
much damage he's doing to his car.
642
00:36:19,460 --> 00:36:24,100
Hey, Ricky. You know you're driving
like a pissed-off teenager, okay?
643
00:36:24,340 --> 00:36:25,980
Where is that Frenchy?
644
00:36:30,420 --> 00:36:32,220
I got you, Pepe Le Bitch.
645
00:36:33,780 --> 00:36:35,500
Oh, Ricky Bobby.
646
00:36:37,380 --> 00:36:39,420
Hey, it's me, America.
647
00:36:43,460 --> 00:36:45,020
Yeah, I'm here.
648
00:36:45,260 --> 00:36:47,620
You have spilled my macchiato.
649
00:36:49,380 --> 00:36:50,580
Look at Girard in the 55.
650
00:36:50,820 --> 00:36:54,660
He's made that car three lanes wide,
but he's still fast.
651
00:36:54,900 --> 00:36:58,620
No, no, no, my friend.
This way also closed. Not this way.
652
00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:02,460
Lucius, what's he doing?
He's everywhere at once.
653
00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:05,020
Guy's dangerous, Ricky.
He's like a cobra. Back off!
654
00:37:05,260 --> 00:37:07,260
Where's Cal?
I need a little support here!
655
00:37:09,380 --> 00:37:10,940
Tell Ricky I'm on my way.
656
00:37:16,500 --> 00:37:18,100
Damn it!
657
00:37:18,380 --> 00:37:19,980
Hey, Ricky, listen.
658
00:37:20,260 --> 00:37:26,140
Cal blew out his engine.
You have no backup. Back off!
659
00:37:26,380 --> 00:37:29,420
I ain't backing off.
I'm Ricky Bobby, I'm the best there is.
660
00:37:29,660 --> 00:37:32,340
He's too good, Ricky. Lay off!
661
00:37:33,380 --> 00:37:35,380
Bobby's boxed in.
There's nowhere to go there.
662
00:37:37,860 --> 00:37:41,340
He's gonna try the outside move again.
I don't know if it's gonna work.
663
00:37:41,380 --> 00:37:43,140
Come on, Daddy!
664
00:37:43,380 --> 00:37:44,980
Come on, Daddy! Whoop his butt!
665
00:37:45,220 --> 00:37:47,740
Send that weird man
back to Indonesia.
666
00:37:51,500 --> 00:37:53,420
-Come on!
-Bobby moves to the outside.
667
00:37:53,660 --> 00:37:55,380
Not a lot of room. He's in the wall!
668
00:37:55,460 --> 00:37:57,740
Bobby is sliding,
slamming into the wall.
669
00:38:03,860 --> 00:38:05,700
He's airborne!
670
00:38:07,580 --> 00:38:10,300
Yep. I'm flying through the air.
This is not good.
671
00:38:10,340 --> 00:38:13,140
-Ricky!
-Cool!
672
00:38:22,460 --> 00:38:24,020
Ricky!
673
00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:32,420
Peaches and cream!
674
00:38:36,020 --> 00:38:38,500
The car comes to rest
in a big cloud of smoke.
675
00:38:38,740 --> 00:38:40,620
Ricky Bobby appears to be okay...
676
00:38:40,860 --> 00:38:43,340
...but that Wonder Bread car is toast.
677
00:38:43,380 --> 00:38:45,220
Fantastic.
678
00:38:45,460 --> 00:38:48,020
Oh, my God! Ricky!
679
00:38:48,540 --> 00:38:51,340
Hakuna matata, bitches.
680
00:38:57,860 --> 00:39:00,820
It's okay, guys, it's just a wreck.
Ricky can handle it.
681
00:39:01,060 --> 00:39:04,420
Now, that's one of the nastiest wrecks
you'll ever see.
682
00:39:04,460 --> 00:39:06,660
Oh, no, no, no.
683
00:39:06,900 --> 00:39:08,860
It's all right. You're safe.
684
00:39:09,100 --> 00:39:11,020
-You're safe.
-We got you. We're here.
685
00:39:11,260 --> 00:39:12,500
I'm on fire.
686
00:39:12,740 --> 00:39:15,020
It's all right.
It's all right, you're not on fire!
687
00:39:15,260 --> 00:39:18,980
-You're lying! I'm on fire!
-There is no fire.
688
00:39:19,220 --> 00:39:21,700
-I'm on fire. I don't wanna die.
-Come back here.
689
00:39:21,940 --> 00:39:25,500
But something looks wrong. I mean,
he's running around like he's on fire.
690
00:39:25,740 --> 00:39:29,380
Oh, my God! Help me!
I don't wanna die! Stop, drop, and roll!
691
00:39:29,660 --> 00:39:33,140
-You're not on fire, Ricky Bobby!
-I'm on fire!
692
00:39:33,380 --> 00:39:34,740
You're not on fire.
693
00:39:35,380 --> 00:39:38,220
But I'm not even sure he even knows
where he's at right now.
694
00:39:38,460 --> 00:39:43,340
This makes us all realize the kind
of pressure these drivers are under.
695
00:39:43,380 --> 00:39:44,940
Mr. Bobby, come on down here.
696
00:39:45,180 --> 00:39:48,740
Help me, Jesus!
Help me, Jewish God!
697
00:39:48,980 --> 00:39:50,460
Help me, Allah!
698
00:39:52,020 --> 00:39:53,260
Help me, Tom Cruise!
699
00:39:53,300 --> 00:39:56,020
But how did he get down
to his underwear that fast?
700
00:39:56,260 --> 00:39:59,460
Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me
to get the fire off me!
701
00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:00,940
Look. Here, help's coming.
702
00:40:01,220 --> 00:40:02,860
-Wait a minute!
-It's Cal Naughton.
703
00:40:04,020 --> 00:40:07,340
Oh, God! Please don't let
the invisible fire burn my friend!
704
00:40:08,420 --> 00:40:11,940
I got you!
I got you, man! I'll help you!
705
00:40:12,220 --> 00:40:15,860
He's jumping on Ricky, trying
to put the nonexistent fire out.
706
00:40:16,100 --> 00:40:17,580
Now, that's a teammate right there.
707
00:40:17,820 --> 00:40:19,420
This is going downhill fast.
708
00:40:19,460 --> 00:40:22,380
It would be a great time
to go to commercial break.
709
00:40:23,260 --> 00:40:24,740
Help me, Oprah Winfrey!
710
00:40:26,460 --> 00:40:30,500
You know, Larry, there's good days
in racing, and there's bad days.
711
00:40:30,740 --> 00:40:34,020
Ricky Bobby just had himself
a bad day.
712
00:40:42,460 --> 00:40:44,020
He's suffering from catatonic shock.
713
00:40:44,260 --> 00:40:47,740
His injuries are minor, but right now he
can't deal with the trauma of the wreck.
714
00:40:47,980 --> 00:40:51,100
Golly, this is a hard decision.
715
00:40:51,340 --> 00:40:56,180
But I have thought about it,
and I want the plug pulled.
716
00:40:56,420 --> 00:40:57,700
Yeah.
717
00:40:57,940 --> 00:41:00,220
Ma'am, your husband's not dying.
718
00:41:00,460 --> 00:41:02,620
He's just taking a nap.
719
00:41:03,260 --> 00:41:05,060
-Just look at him.
-No, I'm not lying.
720
00:41:05,300 --> 00:41:07,500
I've never seen him
make that noise. Ever.
721
00:41:08,980 --> 00:41:11,220
Got more plugs in him
than a Circuit City.
722
00:41:11,300 --> 00:41:16,060
Oh, baby.
Mama loves you so much.
723
00:41:16,780 --> 00:41:20,340
Hey, Ricky. It's me, Cal.
724
00:41:20,580 --> 00:41:24,940
Just want you to know,
I got your back, bro. No matter what.
725
00:41:25,780 --> 00:41:28,340
There's something
I want to get off my chest...
726
00:41:28,380 --> 00:41:32,380
...and it's about that summer when
you went away to community college.
727
00:41:32,420 --> 00:41:36,060
I got a offer to do Playgirl magazine...
728
00:41:36,940 --> 00:41:38,660
...and I did it.
729
00:41:38,900 --> 00:41:42,140
I did a full spread
for Playgirl magazine.
730
00:41:42,740 --> 00:41:46,540
I mean spread, man.
I pulled my butt apart and stuff...
731
00:41:47,220 --> 00:41:51,060
...and I was totally nude,
and it was weird.
732
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:52,980
You probably didn't hear about it...
733
00:41:53,220 --> 00:41:55,420
...because I went under the name
of Mike Honcho.
734
00:41:55,660 --> 00:41:57,300
But I just wanted you to know that.
735
00:41:57,540 --> 00:42:01,300
If you could hear me,
if it got into your brain somehow...
736
00:42:01,540 --> 00:42:03,740
...that I spread my butt cheeks
as Mike Honcho.
737
00:42:03,980 --> 00:42:06,820
"Are you there, God?
It's me, Margaret.
738
00:42:07,060 --> 00:42:10,940
Gretchen, my friend, got her period.
I'm so jealous, God.
739
00:42:11,180 --> 00:42:14,100
I hate myself for being so jealous,
but I am.
740
00:42:14,340 --> 00:42:16,380
I wish you'd help me just a little.
741
00:42:16,660 --> 00:42:21,180
Nancy's sure she's going to
get it soon too. And if I'm last...."
742
00:42:21,580 --> 00:42:24,380
Hey, Ricky. Ricky!
743
00:42:24,780 --> 00:42:26,620
Come on, man, wake up.
744
00:42:26,860 --> 00:42:28,540
Are you faking it?
745
00:42:31,420 --> 00:42:35,300
Are you faking it? Fake it!
746
00:42:39,820 --> 00:42:43,300
I don't know how much longer
I can take seeing you like this.
747
00:42:44,100 --> 00:42:47,940
I am not gonna let you die here...
748
00:42:48,220 --> 00:42:50,100
...like some kind of vegetable.
749
00:42:50,380 --> 00:42:52,540
I'm gonna put an end to this
right now.
750
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,380
Get all this crap off you.
751
00:42:54,660 --> 00:42:56,700
You don't need any of this crap.
752
00:42:59,540 --> 00:43:02,140
This is it. This is how it ends.
753
00:43:02,380 --> 00:43:03,820
This is how Shake and Bake ends.
754
00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:06,660
It's shadow time, buddy.
755
00:43:09,340 --> 00:43:11,740
It's time to go home to Jesus.
756
00:43:12,580 --> 00:43:14,460
Goodbye, buddy.
757
00:43:18,860 --> 00:43:20,420
Oh, wow, you definitely--
758
00:43:20,460 --> 00:43:22,980
You definitely
still got some fight in you.
759
00:43:25,940 --> 00:43:27,500
Okay, maybe we give this
another day.
760
00:43:28,380 --> 00:43:31,340
Middle. I'll go up to the middle.
Let's play some defense!
761
00:43:33,460 --> 00:43:36,340
I just wanna say thanks, doc,
for taking care of our boy here.
762
00:43:36,580 --> 00:43:39,740
-Oh, shit.
-That's a foul! That's a foul!
763
00:43:39,980 --> 00:43:41,420
Doc, give it to me straight.
764
00:43:41,460 --> 00:43:43,820
Is he ever gonna be able
to walk again?
765
00:43:44,060 --> 00:43:46,900
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought someone
had told you. He's fine.
766
00:43:47,140 --> 00:43:48,780
He found that wheelchair
in the hallway.
767
00:43:49,020 --> 00:43:51,860
His paralysis is
entirely psychosomatic.
768
00:43:52,100 --> 00:43:55,660
But we all need to go along with this,
because he's in a delicate state.
769
00:43:55,940 --> 00:43:59,340
So when you say psychosomatic,
you mean, like...
770
00:43:59,620 --> 00:44:02,100
...he could start a fire
with his thoughts?
771
00:44:02,340 --> 00:44:04,300
No, not at all.
It means it's all in his mind.
772
00:44:04,380 --> 00:44:08,180
I'm saying, sometimes you get a knock
on the head, you get special powers.
773
00:44:08,420 --> 00:44:10,700
It happens all the time.
Read a comic book, okay?
774
00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:12,460
Everyone's real friendly.
775
00:44:12,500 --> 00:44:15,500
It doesn't hurt being Ricky Bobby.
I'm not gonna lie to you.
776
00:44:15,740 --> 00:44:17,300
So how's the physical therapy going?
777
00:44:17,540 --> 00:44:20,380
Oh, I gave that up.
Yeah, I gave that up...
778
00:44:20,620 --> 00:44:23,700
...after maybe the first day.
Within the first hour, I gave that up.
779
00:44:23,940 --> 00:44:25,980
I'm through lying to myself,
you know?
780
00:44:26,220 --> 00:44:29,580
It's time to be mature about this
and just face facts.
781
00:44:29,820 --> 00:44:32,340
I bought myself
a hundred-thousand-dollar...
782
00:44:32,380 --> 00:44:33,780
...handicap-accessible van...
783
00:44:34,020 --> 00:44:37,660
...with the captain's chairs and the DVD
plasma screens in the back for the kids.
784
00:44:37,900 --> 00:44:40,300
-You all paid up on that?
-Yeah. That's all paid in full.
785
00:44:40,540 --> 00:44:43,500
It's parked out there.
And then the next thing I gotta do...
786
00:44:43,740 --> 00:44:47,660
...is I just gotta have a sit-down
with Carley and just let her know...
787
00:44:49,180 --> 00:44:53,860
...that it's okay for her to seek
the comfort of other men.
788
00:44:54,340 --> 00:44:58,180
Because she's gotta run wild. You
can't keep something like that back.
789
00:44:58,300 --> 00:44:59,740
Hold on, man. Hold....
790
00:45:00,380 --> 00:45:02,220
-We gotta tell him.
-Now?
791
00:45:02,300 --> 00:45:05,180
No, I don't care what the doctor said,
we gotta tell him now.
792
00:45:05,460 --> 00:45:06,900
Ricky, the doctor told us...
793
00:45:07,180 --> 00:45:09,900
...that we should let you work it out
in your own sweet time...
794
00:45:10,140 --> 00:45:11,340
...but, Ricky, you can walk.
795
00:45:11,580 --> 00:45:13,420
What did you just say?
796
00:45:13,460 --> 00:45:16,580
He's telling you the truth, man.
It's all in your head.
797
00:45:19,460 --> 00:45:22,300
You sick sons of bitches!
798
00:45:22,540 --> 00:45:24,300
I mean, you walk in that door...
799
00:45:24,540 --> 00:45:28,020
...on your two legs,
all fat and cocky...
800
00:45:28,260 --> 00:45:32,700
...and looking at me in my chair,
and you tell me it's all in my head?
801
00:45:32,940 --> 00:45:34,900
I hope that both of you have sons.
802
00:45:35,180 --> 00:45:40,100
Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons
who are talented and star athletes...
803
00:45:40,420 --> 00:45:42,180
...and they have their legs
taken away!
804
00:45:42,420 --> 00:45:44,340
I pray you know
that pain and that hurt.
805
00:45:44,420 --> 00:45:46,740
Don't you put that evil on me,
Ricky Bobby!
806
00:45:46,980 --> 00:45:51,420
Don't you put that on us!
You are not paralyzed!
807
00:45:51,460 --> 00:45:53,340
I am so paralyzed!
808
00:45:53,380 --> 00:45:56,900
-No, no, no! No, he needs to know!
-Getting a little rough on him.
809
00:45:57,140 --> 00:45:59,420
-He's always crying!
-Tough love, it is. Tough love.
810
00:45:59,660 --> 00:46:02,460
- Wake up, idiot!
-You wanna know what I am?!
811
00:46:02,500 --> 00:46:05,020
You wanna see what my life is?!
812
00:46:05,260 --> 00:46:06,340
Don't do it.
813
00:46:06,580 --> 00:46:10,780
-You wanna see what's going on here?
-Don't you stick that knife in your leg.
814
00:46:19,260 --> 00:46:21,860
-Man!
-Hold on, hold on.
815
00:46:23,140 --> 00:46:25,460
-Hold on, now. Walk it off.
-Oh, that hurts.
816
00:46:25,500 --> 00:46:26,860
-Oh, my--!
-Walk it off.
817
00:46:27,100 --> 00:46:28,860
Stretch, stretch. Stretch it out.
818
00:46:29,100 --> 00:46:31,460
Hey, man.
You can walk! You can walk!
819
00:46:31,700 --> 00:46:33,380
I can walk!
820
00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:36,460
-I think I touched a nerve.
-Right there.
821
00:46:36,500 --> 00:46:39,380
All right, we got it, we got it.
Hold it right there.
822
00:46:39,420 --> 00:46:40,780
Maybe don't touch it.
823
00:46:41,020 --> 00:46:42,900
-Can you feel it?
-I can!
824
00:46:43,180 --> 00:46:45,420
We'll use this knife to pry it out.
We'll pull it out.
825
00:46:45,660 --> 00:46:48,300
-Now we got two in there.
-Just don't think about it.
826
00:46:48,380 --> 00:46:50,700
-We're going down a bad path.
-Cut around the meat.
827
00:46:50,940 --> 00:46:52,580
I'll cut right here.
Stretch it out.
828
00:46:52,820 --> 00:46:55,140
Just take out a plug of meat.
Just like a deer.
829
00:46:55,380 --> 00:46:58,060
We gotta wiggle it a little bit. That's it.
Can you feel that?
830
00:46:58,300 --> 00:47:00,060
-Yeah, I feel that.
-You are back!
831
00:47:00,300 --> 00:47:01,820
I love you guys!
832
00:47:02,420 --> 00:47:06,180
Hey, I'm sorry, guys. I mean,
I hope your boys don't lose their legs.
833
00:47:06,420 --> 00:47:09,540
-Thanks, buddy.
-So when do I get to drive again?
834
00:47:09,780 --> 00:47:12,780
Well, that's the thing. The doctor
said you suffered major trauma...
835
00:47:13,020 --> 00:47:15,380
...and he thinks you should
take it slow for a while.
836
00:47:15,460 --> 00:47:19,300
Yeah, so, I was thinking, like,
while you're resting up and stuff...
837
00:47:19,380 --> 00:47:22,300
-...maybe you could let me win a few.
-Well, there you go.
838
00:47:22,540 --> 00:47:24,340
Yeah, that ain't gonna happen.
839
00:47:24,940 --> 00:47:27,860
Yeah. I'm Ricky Bobby.
I mean, you know how I play it.
840
00:47:28,100 --> 00:47:30,300
-Yeah.
-First or last, right, baby?
841
00:47:30,340 --> 00:47:32,820
-Don't know what I was thinking.
-Besides...
842
00:47:33,060 --> 00:47:35,860
...Dennit Jr. must be freaking out.
All the money he's losing?
843
00:47:36,100 --> 00:47:37,580
Without me on the track?
844
00:47:37,820 --> 00:47:39,060
I mean, I just laugh...
845
00:47:39,300 --> 00:47:42,220
...thinking about him whining
all the time, bitching and moaning:
846
00:47:42,460 --> 00:47:44,300
"Damn, I wish Ricky was here."
847
00:47:44,540 --> 00:47:46,140
You know what I mean?
848
00:47:50,020 --> 00:47:52,020
What?
849
00:47:52,300 --> 00:47:54,580
Frenchy can drive.
850
00:47:58,300 --> 00:47:59,740
Oh, no.
851
00:48:27,660 --> 00:48:29,340
Very good.
852
00:48:29,580 --> 00:48:31,740
C'est la vie and que sera, sera.
853
00:48:31,980 --> 00:48:34,980
It looks like the NASCAR
has gone French.
854
00:48:35,460 --> 00:48:36,900
Well, in other news, Ricky Bobby...
855
00:48:37,140 --> 00:48:40,220
...is going to be running some test laps
this weekend at Rockingham...
856
00:48:40,460 --> 00:48:42,580
...in an attempt to come back
from his grisly crash.
857
00:48:44,300 --> 00:48:46,340
It's one of the hardest things
to do in racing.
858
00:48:46,380 --> 00:48:49,180
To try to bounce back after
a devastating, violent wreck.
859
00:48:49,420 --> 00:48:51,740
Ricky Bobby was traumatized
during the incident.
860
00:48:51,980 --> 00:48:53,300
All right, baby.
Come on, now.
861
00:48:53,340 --> 00:48:56,740
But today he gets to strap back into
a racecar for the first time since...
862
00:48:57,020 --> 00:48:59,140
...to try to show he can still
get the job done.
863
00:48:59,420 --> 00:49:02,500
-He's gonna be great. Yep.
-He's gonna be great, sure.
864
00:49:02,740 --> 00:49:05,420
Would you stop staring at me like that,
Susan? I swear...
865
00:49:05,660 --> 00:49:08,220
...you are the weirdest little girl
I've ever seen.
866
00:49:08,460 --> 00:49:11,100
Okay, I'm really gonna open it up!
867
00:49:14,300 --> 00:49:17,380
I missed you, Mama Speed.
Ricky Bobby's back.
868
00:49:17,420 --> 00:49:19,300
Wait, how fast is he going?
869
00:49:19,340 --> 00:49:21,020
Twenty-six miles an hour.
870
00:49:23,420 --> 00:49:26,820
What were those things?
Were those the other cars?
871
00:49:32,420 --> 00:49:34,780
Oh, God. So fast.
872
00:49:35,020 --> 00:49:36,700
Go, baby! There you are.
873
00:49:37,060 --> 00:49:38,660
Am I on fire? I'm on fire.
874
00:49:38,900 --> 00:49:40,860
-No, no, you're not on fire.
-Stretch it out.
875
00:49:41,100 --> 00:49:42,620
-It's okay, baby.
-Take it easy.
876
00:49:44,340 --> 00:49:46,900
-Oh, God, I'm gonna get sick.
-Oh, God.
877
00:49:47,180 --> 00:49:50,940
-Oh, he's in his underwear again.
-Ricky! Please put your clothes on.
878
00:49:51,180 --> 00:49:53,300
He's in his underwear again.
Go get him, fellas.
879
00:49:53,540 --> 00:49:54,820
Oh, Lord.
880
00:49:55,060 --> 00:49:57,860
You know who's gonna be
number one at Dennit Racing?
881
00:49:58,620 --> 00:50:01,460
-Not Ricky?
-I'm gonna windmill you.
882
00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:04,380
Mr. Cal Naughton Jr.
883
00:50:04,620 --> 00:50:07,300
-Come back at him. It's the only way.
-Who are you?
884
00:50:07,380 --> 00:50:09,100
-Number one.
-No.
885
00:50:09,380 --> 00:50:12,740
-Oh, yes, ma'am.
-Ricky! Come on, man!
886
00:50:13,020 --> 00:50:14,460
It's embarrassing.
887
00:50:14,500 --> 00:50:18,300
The ninjas are trying to get me.
The ninjas are trying to get me.
888
00:50:18,540 --> 00:50:20,420
-Oh, my God.
-What happened?
889
00:50:20,460 --> 00:50:22,940
What happened? He's done.
He's done.
890
00:50:23,180 --> 00:50:25,620
That's what's happened.
It's over. He's finished.
891
00:50:25,940 --> 00:50:27,380
What's gonna happen to me?
892
00:50:27,620 --> 00:50:30,620
I feel like I was riding inside
an asteroid or a comet or something.
893
00:50:30,860 --> 00:50:32,860
Yeah, you were going fast.
894
00:50:33,100 --> 00:50:35,180
-Look at that.
-What are we gonna do?
895
00:50:35,460 --> 00:50:37,900
This is ugly.
This is bad for all of us. Look at that.
896
00:50:38,180 --> 00:50:41,100
-I gotta go check on cuckoo bird.
-No, cuckoo's okay.
897
00:50:41,340 --> 00:50:43,980
Why don't you get over there
and settle down Carley for me?
898
00:50:44,220 --> 00:50:46,300
-Could you do that for me?
-Yes, sir.
899
00:50:46,340 --> 00:50:47,940
There you go.
900
00:50:49,260 --> 00:50:51,300
What began as a day
of hope and optimism...
901
00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:54,700
...for Ricky Bobby and his race team
has ended here in sad disappointment.
902
00:50:54,940 --> 00:50:56,180
There we go, boy.
903
00:50:56,420 --> 00:50:58,260
-I lost all muscle control.
-Yeah, you did.
904
00:50:58,300 --> 00:51:01,780
-He just lost his muscle control is all.
-I lost my muscle control.
905
00:51:02,460 --> 00:51:05,460
He's fine.
He just can't control the muscles.
906
00:51:14,940 --> 00:51:17,420
-Thanks for the lift, Hershell.
-Yeah, no problem.
907
00:51:23,260 --> 00:51:24,540
Jenga!
908
00:51:26,460 --> 00:51:27,820
I love you, Cal.
909
00:51:29,300 --> 00:51:31,620
-Good one, kiddo.
-What the hell's going on?
910
00:51:31,860 --> 00:51:33,980
Hey, Ricky, nice of you
to stop by for a visit.
911
00:51:34,220 --> 00:51:37,020
What do you mean, a visit?
This is my house.
912
00:51:37,260 --> 00:51:38,660
Baby...
913
00:51:38,900 --> 00:51:41,060
...shoot. I'm so sorry.
914
00:51:41,300 --> 00:51:43,380
I really--
I didn't want it to be this way.
915
00:51:43,660 --> 00:51:46,140
Hey, what happened
to the family portrait?
916
00:51:46,820 --> 00:51:48,980
You just crudely pasted
your face over mine.
917
00:51:49,260 --> 00:51:51,100
We're getting married, Ricky.
918
00:51:51,340 --> 00:51:53,700
And we're getting matching
leprechaun tattoos.
919
00:51:53,940 --> 00:51:55,820
Isn't that cute?
With a little pot of gold.
920
00:51:56,060 --> 00:51:58,300
Is this some kind of joke?
You guys putting me on?
921
00:51:58,340 --> 00:52:02,420
I was gone three hours.
Dennit just fired me from the team.
922
00:52:03,220 --> 00:52:04,500
Ricky, you and I...
923
00:52:04,740 --> 00:52:08,380
...we both know that this marriage
has been over for a long, long time.
924
00:52:08,460 --> 00:52:11,340
No! I honestly did not know that!
925
00:52:11,700 --> 00:52:16,180
Ricky, you can't race no more.
926
00:52:17,460 --> 00:52:21,340
I'm not going back to being poor
and dancing at the Wizard's Den.
927
00:52:21,380 --> 00:52:23,300
You know, my old boyfriend Greg?
928
00:52:23,340 --> 00:52:25,500
He still works there
and he was crazy.
929
00:52:25,740 --> 00:52:27,700
Baby, stop.
930
00:52:28,300 --> 00:52:32,300
Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Just a second.
Let me make sure I got this straight.
931
00:52:33,260 --> 00:52:34,980
Are you asking me for a divorce?
932
00:52:35,220 --> 00:52:37,660
-Yay! Two Christmases!
-Yay! Two Christmases!
933
00:52:37,900 --> 00:52:39,740
Cal?
934
00:52:39,980 --> 00:52:41,780
How could you do this to me, man?
935
00:52:42,020 --> 00:52:45,540
Ricky, your marriage was
a hollow shell.
936
00:52:45,780 --> 00:52:47,380
It was a cruel charade.
937
00:52:47,620 --> 00:52:49,660
She just gave me the 411
on the whole deal.
938
00:52:49,940 --> 00:52:53,420
And you know what else?
You never let me win one time.
939
00:52:53,460 --> 00:52:55,900
I thought we had a good thing going.
Shake and Bake.
940
00:52:56,140 --> 00:52:58,780
You're doing great.
You just keep it up. Keep it up.
941
00:52:59,020 --> 00:53:01,980
And Mr. Dennit told me
that it's my time now.
942
00:53:02,220 --> 00:53:04,300
-Oh, really?
-That Shake and Bake is dead.
943
00:53:04,340 --> 00:53:06,940
And we just came up
with a new nickname.
944
00:53:07,180 --> 00:53:09,500
-It's so good. It's so good.
-I got a new nickname.
945
00:53:09,820 --> 00:53:12,580
The Magic Man.
Now you see me...
946
00:53:13,460 --> 00:53:15,020
...now you don't.
947
00:53:15,260 --> 00:53:17,460
That is the stupidest nickname
I've ever heard.
948
00:53:17,500 --> 00:53:19,300
Is it, Ricky?
949
00:53:19,340 --> 00:53:21,660
Because I think
you wish you thought of it.
950
00:53:23,860 --> 00:53:26,420
All right. You got me.
That's an awesome nickname.
951
00:53:26,460 --> 00:53:28,620
I've always had a lot of great ideas.
952
00:53:28,900 --> 00:53:32,820
I also think I might design a car
that's in the shape of a rabbit.
953
00:53:33,100 --> 00:53:36,620
It might poop out little real rabbits out
the back that'll run around the track.
954
00:53:36,860 --> 00:53:39,180
You have live rabbits
being pooped out onto a track?
955
00:53:39,420 --> 00:53:42,100
If I win, I might do a special thing
with David Copperfield...
956
00:53:42,340 --> 00:53:44,460
...where he hides in my car
in the passenger seat...
957
00:53:44,700 --> 00:53:47,020
...and he just flings magic stuff
out the window.
958
00:53:47,460 --> 00:53:49,100
Did you run any of this
by NASCAR?
959
00:53:49,340 --> 00:53:52,900
Watch the mail for that invitation to
the wedding, because I want you there.
960
00:53:53,140 --> 00:53:54,420
-What?!
-I know it...
961
00:53:54,460 --> 00:53:57,380
...that some bad stuff happened
just now, but in time--
962
00:53:57,460 --> 00:53:59,380
The wedding's not for
a couple of weeks.
963
00:53:59,460 --> 00:54:01,300
Why would I come
to your guys' wedding?
964
00:54:01,540 --> 00:54:03,500
--you're gonna get over it
and be my best man.
965
00:54:03,740 --> 00:54:05,220
I'm not gonna be your best man!
966
00:54:05,460 --> 00:54:07,380
Baby, he's not gonna come
to the wedding.
967
00:54:07,420 --> 00:54:11,500
Cal, do you realize the implications
of your actions right now?
968
00:54:11,740 --> 00:54:13,060
What's "implication" mean?
969
00:54:13,300 --> 00:54:14,620
We are no longer friends.
970
00:54:14,900 --> 00:54:17,460
-Why?
-What do you mean, "Why?"
971
00:54:18,460 --> 00:54:19,820
You're wrecking my life!
972
00:54:20,060 --> 00:54:22,660
You just lost your wife.
You just lost your job.
973
00:54:22,900 --> 00:54:25,540
Don't throw out your best friend
because of your anger.
974
00:54:26,220 --> 00:54:29,300
-That's absolutely ridiculous, man.
-Ricky...
975
00:54:29,380 --> 00:54:34,300
...remember, the field mouse is fast,
but the owl sees at night.
976
00:54:38,220 --> 00:54:39,900
That's kind of creepy, ain't it?
977
00:54:43,460 --> 00:54:46,460
-Hey, Ricky, I'll call you tomorrow.
-Shut up.
978
00:54:46,500 --> 00:54:49,300
-Bye, kids. I'll see you next weekend.
-Bye.
979
00:54:53,860 --> 00:54:57,620
Ricky! Boys! Is everything all right?
980
00:54:57,900 --> 00:55:01,460
Mama, we got nowhere to go.
Carley and Cal took everything.
981
00:55:01,700 --> 00:55:03,700
Well, you're home now,
and you got your mama.
982
00:55:03,940 --> 00:55:05,100
Get in here, boys. Come on.
983
00:55:05,380 --> 00:55:07,980
Come on. Get in this house.
984
00:55:14,860 --> 00:55:17,100
Hey, Ricky. Are you on fire?
985
00:55:17,900 --> 00:55:21,220
-Nice denim shorts, dude.
-Hey, shut up, man.
986
00:55:33,740 --> 00:55:35,220
Hump me!
987
00:55:39,220 --> 00:55:41,060
Now, you watch yourself.
988
00:55:41,300 --> 00:55:44,460
Yes, sir. I'm sorry.
I promise it won't happen again.
989
00:55:51,420 --> 00:55:52,940
Hey, sorry, man.
990
00:56:01,860 --> 00:56:03,260
Hey.
991
00:56:03,580 --> 00:56:05,460
I lost my license.
992
00:56:05,500 --> 00:56:07,820
That's why I'm on the bus.
I'm delivering pizzas.
993
00:56:08,060 --> 00:56:10,340
Motherfucker,
what makes you think I care?
994
00:56:10,620 --> 00:56:13,420
Shut the fuck up!
995
00:56:14,300 --> 00:56:16,140
I was just telling you that because--
996
00:56:16,380 --> 00:56:19,540
Like I said, I lost my license. I've
been having a lot of problems lately.
997
00:56:19,780 --> 00:56:22,300
Problems? I don't wanna hear about
your damn problems.
998
00:56:22,540 --> 00:56:24,140
Everybody got problems.
999
00:56:24,380 --> 00:56:26,460
My mama got problems.
She just lost her leg.
1000
00:56:26,500 --> 00:56:30,340
My cousin Pookie just lost a testicle.
My dog threw up somebody's finger.
1001
00:56:30,580 --> 00:56:32,100
That's a problem.
1002
00:56:32,340 --> 00:56:35,180
I really regret opening my mouth
and talking to you.
1003
00:56:37,420 --> 00:56:40,140
-Sorry. Sorry.
-Get out of the road!
1004
00:56:40,380 --> 00:56:43,340
Hey, come on, man.
I'm on a bike. Relax.
1005
00:56:43,380 --> 00:56:45,700
-Hey, shut up!
-Idiot!
1006
00:56:49,660 --> 00:56:51,340
It's open.
1007
00:56:53,460 --> 00:56:55,340
Hugalo's Pizza. We are pizza.
1008
00:56:57,380 --> 00:57:00,420
-You are pizza?
-Yeah, we are pizza. I gotta say it.
1009
00:57:02,740 --> 00:57:06,020
Either close the door or come in.
I got weed in here, cowboy.
1010
00:57:12,020 --> 00:57:15,100
You got three pizzas that haven't
been eaten just sitting over there.
1011
00:57:15,340 --> 00:57:18,020
I know. I've been calling them
all day trying to get you...
1012
00:57:18,300 --> 00:57:20,540
...but they keep sending me
different delivery people.
1013
00:57:20,780 --> 00:57:22,460
Trying to get me? Why?
1014
00:57:22,700 --> 00:57:24,340
Because I'm your daddy, that's why.
1015
00:57:26,100 --> 00:57:29,180
-What did you just say?
-I said, I'm your daddy.
1016
00:57:29,420 --> 00:57:30,860
I'm Reese Bobby.
1017
00:57:31,100 --> 00:57:35,860
Me and your mama did it in a Rustler
Steak House bathroom when I was 17.
1018
00:57:36,100 --> 00:57:37,860
And then you showed up.
1019
00:57:44,620 --> 00:57:46,500
Hey, son.
1020
00:57:46,740 --> 00:57:50,060
-Son! Son, did this go good?
-No!
1021
00:57:50,340 --> 00:57:53,260
-Seems to me like it went pretty good.
-You're not my dad.
1022
00:57:53,300 --> 00:57:55,660
-It got a little heated, but....
-Stop talking to me!
1023
00:57:55,900 --> 00:57:59,020
Hey, is that a Huffy?
That's a nice-looking bike, boy.
1024
00:57:59,260 --> 00:58:01,020
I can't believe it!
1025
00:58:01,260 --> 00:58:04,420
I mean, he's been
blowing me off for 25 years...
1026
00:58:04,460 --> 00:58:07,140
...and now he wants
to get to know me?
1027
00:58:07,380 --> 00:58:09,180
How the hell did he even find me?
1028
00:58:09,420 --> 00:58:10,580
I called him.
1029
00:58:10,820 --> 00:58:13,700
Are you kidding me?
Mama, why did you go do that?
1030
00:58:13,940 --> 00:58:15,580
Son, you need help.
1031
00:58:15,820 --> 00:58:18,420
-I know he's a son of a bitch.
-He's scary.
1032
00:58:18,460 --> 00:58:22,420
But you're a grown man.
You're delivering pizzas on a bike.
1033
00:58:22,700 --> 00:58:25,300
How'd you even get hooked up
with him in the first place?
1034
00:58:25,580 --> 00:58:28,300
You probably couldn't tell
by looking at him now...
1035
00:58:28,700 --> 00:58:31,140
...but your daddy used to be
a real charmer.
1036
00:58:31,380 --> 00:58:36,220
And that night in the ladies' room of
the Rustler Steak House, he chose me.
1037
00:58:36,460 --> 00:58:37,660
-In a ladies' room?
-Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep!
1038
00:58:37,660 --> 00:58:40,980
-In a ladies' room?
-Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep!
1039
00:58:41,220 --> 00:58:44,100
One of you turds is about
to get smacked in the mouth!
1040
00:58:44,340 --> 00:58:47,620
Hey, stop yelling at me, okay?
I'm your dad. You're 7 years old.
1041
00:58:47,860 --> 00:58:49,460
Don't talk like that.
1042
00:58:51,900 --> 00:58:53,340
Hey. Hey there, Lucy.
1043
00:58:53,580 --> 00:58:55,420
How you doing?
1044
00:58:56,660 --> 00:58:59,340
Oh, hey there, Ricky. Look, son...
1045
00:59:00,060 --> 00:59:02,460
...I know you don't
want me to be here...
1046
00:59:02,740 --> 00:59:06,660
...but I saw what happened to you
on the television. You saw the fear.
1047
00:59:06,940 --> 00:59:08,860
-I can help you with that, son.
-Really?
1048
00:59:09,100 --> 00:59:12,300
What do you care about me or us?
You never even met your grandkids.
1049
00:59:12,540 --> 00:59:15,700
-What are you looking at, Popeye?
-Shut up, you little pot-licker.
1050
00:59:15,940 --> 00:59:17,340
I'll put you in a microwave.
1051
00:59:17,380 --> 00:59:19,060
Now, you show me the DNA test...
1052
00:59:19,300 --> 00:59:22,260
...and then maybe I'll say hello
to these swamp rats.
1053
00:59:22,300 --> 00:59:27,180
You people shut the hell up! I got
a wife in an oxygen tent trying to sleep.
1054
00:59:27,420 --> 00:59:30,420
You better shut up or I'll come
over there and rip a hole in that tent.
1055
00:59:30,700 --> 00:59:31,860
Yeah, shut up, Frank!
1056
00:59:32,140 --> 00:59:34,500
Go shave your balls,
you dusty old fart!
1057
00:59:34,740 --> 00:59:37,180
Okay, I guess they are my grandkids.
1058
00:59:39,420 --> 00:59:42,340
I know you, son. I know you well.
1059
00:59:42,580 --> 00:59:45,780
You're just like me. Talladega's
coming up in a couple of weeks...
1060
00:59:46,020 --> 00:59:48,660
-...and I know you wanna win that thing.
-No, I don't.
1061
00:59:49,260 --> 00:59:50,980
Listen, Ricky.
1062
00:59:51,220 --> 00:59:55,140
I'm 55 years old
and all I got to my name is a car...
1063
00:59:55,380 --> 00:59:59,180
...and a duffle bag full of underwear,
and sweet, stinky weed.
1064
00:59:59,420 --> 01:00:01,380
How much you selling that weed for,
old man?
1065
01:00:01,620 --> 01:00:03,980
I know I screwed up
raising you as a boy...
1066
01:00:04,260 --> 01:00:06,300
...but just let me help you as a man.
1067
01:00:07,540 --> 01:00:11,020
-Do it, Dad. Get your balls back.
-Go fast again.
1068
01:00:12,420 --> 01:00:14,340
Fine. I'll do it.
1069
01:00:15,500 --> 01:00:18,660
-But I ain't calling you Daddy.
-Well, what you gonna call me?
1070
01:00:18,900 --> 01:00:21,580
All right, Professor Dickweed.
What's the plan?
1071
01:00:21,820 --> 01:00:24,900
Well, basically, what happened to you
is that you saw the fear.
1072
01:00:25,340 --> 01:00:28,380
So before you can even think
about any real driving...
1073
01:00:28,420 --> 01:00:32,420
...you gotta make friends with that fear.
So get in the car.
1074
01:00:39,340 --> 01:00:41,940
What the hell?!
There's a goddamn cougar in the car!
1075
01:00:42,220 --> 01:00:44,180
I know there's a cougar,
I put it in there.
1076
01:00:44,460 --> 01:00:47,380
You gotta learn to drive
with the fear.
1077
01:00:47,420 --> 01:00:51,260
Ain't nothing more damn frightening
than driving with a cougar in the car.
1078
01:00:51,300 --> 01:00:53,420
-God, where'd you get that thing?
-I trapped it.
1079
01:00:53,660 --> 01:00:56,540
Been keeping it in my bathroom
at the motel, feeding it old pizza.
1080
01:00:56,780 --> 01:01:00,020
-Now get back in that car, you hear me?
-No, I'm not getting in that car.
1081
01:01:00,260 --> 01:01:04,980
Hey, listen to me. If you're calm,
that wondrous big cat will be calm too.
1082
01:01:05,220 --> 01:01:06,620
But if you're scared...
1083
01:01:06,860 --> 01:01:10,420
...that beautiful death machine
will do what God made it to do...
1084
01:01:10,460 --> 01:01:13,300
...namely, eat you
with a smile on its face.
1085
01:01:13,540 --> 01:01:15,500
God, he's just following me
wherever I go.
1086
01:01:15,780 --> 01:01:17,220
Well, he's just looking at you.
1087
01:01:17,460 --> 01:01:20,020
You're saying if I just calm down,
the cougar will be okay?
1088
01:01:20,260 --> 01:01:23,460
-You got it.
-Damn it. Okay.
1089
01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:25,540
Come on, son.
You can do it. Come on.
1090
01:01:25,780 --> 01:01:27,340
Oh, come on.
1091
01:01:28,300 --> 01:01:29,460
That's it.
1092
01:01:30,420 --> 01:01:34,260
-And no sudden moves.
-Like, is this too fast? Oh, man. See?
1093
01:01:34,300 --> 01:01:36,460
-That's a little quick.
-You see what he did?
1094
01:01:36,500 --> 01:01:38,980
You gotta be a little more deliberate
in your movement.
1095
01:01:39,220 --> 01:01:41,820
I'm just gonna get in there.
I'm just gonna grab the handle.
1096
01:01:42,060 --> 01:01:44,540
I'm gonna get in and drive that car.
I'm gonna do it calm.
1097
01:01:44,820 --> 01:01:48,300
-Calm. Piece of cake.
-I was just trying to stay calm.
1098
01:01:50,460 --> 01:01:52,900
-Oh, man!
-Sometime today, son.
1099
01:01:53,140 --> 01:01:55,460
Okay, here we go. I'm getting in.
1100
01:01:55,540 --> 01:01:57,340
Oh, God, help me!
1101
01:01:58,380 --> 01:02:00,780
-Ricky! Control your heart rate.
-Oh, my God!
1102
01:02:03,020 --> 01:02:04,380
Hey, Mama.
1103
01:02:06,460 --> 01:02:08,900
Well, hey there, Ricky. How'd it go?
1104
01:02:09,140 --> 01:02:11,500
Well, I was mauled by a cougar...
1105
01:02:11,740 --> 01:02:14,940
...learned nothing about driving,
and my Crystal Gayle shirt was ruined.
1106
01:02:15,180 --> 01:02:16,900
But other than that, it went fine.
1107
01:02:17,180 --> 01:02:18,340
Where are the boys at?
1108
01:02:18,620 --> 01:02:21,980
I dropped them off at Sunday school
at my church about 10 minutes ago.
1109
01:02:22,220 --> 01:02:23,340
Anarchy!
1110
01:02:23,580 --> 01:02:26,740
-Anarchy! Anarchy!
-Anarchy!
1111
01:02:26,980 --> 01:02:30,420
-There they are.
-What in tarnation?
1112
01:02:30,460 --> 01:02:33,660
-Anarchy!
-I don't even know what that means...
1113
01:02:33,900 --> 01:02:36,100
...but I love it!
1114
01:02:37,900 --> 01:02:40,100
-What in the hell?
-That is it!
1115
01:02:40,340 --> 01:02:43,020
That puts the lid right on the jar!
1116
01:02:43,660 --> 01:02:45,140
-Mama! Mama!
-No, Ricky, no.
1117
01:02:45,380 --> 01:02:48,700
I will not have my grandbabies
acting like shiftless, wild hobos.
1118
01:02:48,980 --> 01:02:51,860
All right, now, you boys listen up,
and you listen good.
1119
01:02:52,100 --> 01:02:55,460
Now, I am declaring Granny Law.
1120
01:02:55,500 --> 01:02:59,460
And if you do not obey Granny Law...
1121
01:02:59,500 --> 01:03:02,140
...I will paint your back porch red.
1122
01:03:02,380 --> 01:03:04,460
Sorry, Granny,
but you're shit out of Iuck.
1123
01:03:04,700 --> 01:03:07,060
We make the rules, not you.
1124
01:03:08,420 --> 01:03:10,260
Hey!
1125
01:03:11,460 --> 01:03:14,180
You're gonna break us
like wild horses, ain't you?
1126
01:03:14,740 --> 01:03:17,460
It's the beginning of a new age.
1127
01:03:19,500 --> 01:03:21,460
Hey, Derek, it's Ricky.
1128
01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:24,020
Just wondering
if you can ditch school...
1129
01:03:24,300 --> 01:03:27,020
...and take over my shift
at the pizza place...
1130
01:03:27,300 --> 01:03:29,420
...because I got strep throat.
1131
01:03:29,500 --> 01:03:32,100
And it's bad. I don't wanna
give it to everyone else.
1132
01:03:32,380 --> 01:03:34,460
So call me back.
You know the number.
1133
01:03:35,940 --> 01:03:36,900
Hello.
1134
01:03:37,300 --> 01:03:40,220
Hey, man. How's it going?
You wanna come over and party?
1135
01:03:40,460 --> 01:03:41,820
Did you just say "party"?
1136
01:03:42,060 --> 01:03:44,540
You know what? No.
Because I still hate you, okay?
1137
01:03:44,780 --> 01:03:47,780
-What are you so mad about?
-What do you think I'm mad about?
1138
01:03:48,020 --> 01:03:50,340
Come on, man, that was last week.
1139
01:03:50,580 --> 01:03:53,140
What about the time you ran over
my leg with a car?
1140
01:03:53,380 --> 01:03:56,980
-I let that go that day.
-Yeah, I remember.
1141
01:03:57,460 --> 01:03:59,020
Wind is kicking up.
1142
01:03:59,940 --> 01:04:01,460
Are you in the hot tub?
1143
01:04:01,740 --> 01:04:04,660
Answer me this:
When you're in spa mode...
1144
01:04:05,420 --> 01:04:08,100
...how come the water level
drops in the spa?
1145
01:04:08,340 --> 01:04:11,820
Are you pressing the buttons
in the back panel or in the kitchen?
1146
01:04:12,060 --> 01:04:15,300
-I just started pressing stuff.
-Hey, don't press all those buttons.
1147
01:04:16,340 --> 01:04:18,980
I'm getting bored. You wanna
come over and play G.I. Joes?
1148
01:04:19,220 --> 01:04:20,780
I would love to. No!
1149
01:04:21,340 --> 01:04:23,980
Come on. You know what?
Screw you, man.
1150
01:04:24,220 --> 01:04:26,860
Ricky, man, you gotta
cross over the anger bridge.
1151
01:04:27,100 --> 01:04:29,020
Come back to the friendship shore.
1152
01:04:29,260 --> 01:04:32,780
-"Cross over the anger bridge"?
-Yeah, that's where you're at.
1153
01:04:33,060 --> 01:04:34,740
You're stuck on an anger bridge.
1154
01:04:35,020 --> 01:04:37,700
Can you not see why
I'm stuck on the anger bridge?
1155
01:04:38,180 --> 01:04:41,420
Look, I don't know why I'm talking
to you, okay? What is it?
1156
01:04:41,460 --> 01:04:45,020
They got bottomless nachos
at Bennigan's.
1157
01:04:45,580 --> 01:04:47,940
God, a whole mess of nachos
sounds good right now.
1158
01:04:48,180 --> 01:04:50,500
I don't have a car no more.
Can you come get me?
1159
01:04:50,740 --> 01:04:54,420
I'll get you. Which one of your cars do
you miss the most? I'll bring that one.
1160
01:04:54,660 --> 01:04:56,660
-I miss the Hummer.
-I'm coming in the Hummer.
1161
01:04:56,900 --> 01:04:58,420
-Are you ready?
-Yeah. No, wait.
1162
01:04:58,660 --> 01:05:01,100
Okay. Our friendship is done.
All right?
1163
01:05:01,340 --> 01:05:03,340
-You hear?
-You wanna hang out in your house.
1164
01:05:03,420 --> 01:05:05,540
-Come on.
-Screw you, dude. I'm hanging up.
1165
01:05:05,820 --> 01:05:07,580
Okay, that's it. Bye.
1166
01:05:08,300 --> 01:05:12,100
Oh, man, this is absolutely crazy.
I mean, this is borderline reckless.
1167
01:05:12,340 --> 01:05:15,900
Don't you get it? You don't drive with
your eyes, you drive with your heart.
1168
01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:17,920
This is just dumb.
I can't see a thing.
1169
01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:22,040
You gotta feel the road.
You gotta let it live inside you.
1170
01:05:22,280 --> 01:05:24,760
-Are you feeling anything now?
-I'm feeling a little bit.
1171
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:26,960
What do you feel?
Tell me what you're feeling.
1172
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:30,160
I'm feeling the worn wood
of the steering wheel.
1173
01:05:30,200 --> 01:05:32,320
-Yeah. What else?
-A little bit of heat.
1174
01:05:32,360 --> 01:05:34,760
That's you and the car
melded together.
1175
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:38,440
Yeah, now I'm really feeling it.
I feel like the car could drive itself.
1176
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:40,520
I bet it could. Start her up.
1177
01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:42,720
I'm gonna start this car up.
1178
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,200
Attaboy. All right, son.
1179
01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:47,160
Drive.
1180
01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:07,080
I'm embarrassed.
I really thought I could feel it.
1181
01:06:07,320 --> 01:06:10,440
You know what? We better hightail it
out of here. Frank's gonna be pissed.
1182
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:12,280
All right.
1183
01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:14,920
No, no, Ricky. No blindfold.
1184
01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:19,320
Get this highway clean, come on.
1185
01:06:19,600 --> 01:06:22,320
I gotta tell you, Granny, this blows.
1186
01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:24,880
-How much more of this?
-I don't know.
1187
01:06:25,120 --> 01:06:28,800
How many more times are you gonna
toss me the radio in the bathtub?
1188
01:06:38,480 --> 01:06:40,640
-Hello?
-Hey, man. You up?
1189
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:43,240
-No.
-Wake up. I need to talk to you.
1190
01:06:43,520 --> 01:06:45,120
I think your house is haunted.
1191
01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:47,360
Hey, come on.
It's 2:30 in the morning.
1192
01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:51,120
I can't sleep in here, man.
I'm scared.
1193
01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:53,920
Look, there's nothing to be scared of.
It's a new house...
1194
01:06:54,160 --> 01:06:56,400
...there's a lot of creaks and moans
and groans in it.
1195
01:06:56,640 --> 01:07:00,520
-Put on-- You got your TV on?
-Well, yeah, I fell asleep with it on.
1196
01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:04,480
-Turn on channel 42.
-Forty-two?
1197
01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:08,000
-Look at them buns.
-Well, that is a set of buns.
1198
01:07:08,360 --> 01:07:10,000
And down, and down, and--
1199
01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:12,600
What's she doing exercising
at 2:30 in the morning?
1200
01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:14,680
Oh, yeah, that's a really good point.
1201
01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:18,320
I don't know why I'm talking to you.
Do you remember that I hate you?
1202
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:21,000
Hey, man, you know what
I was thinking?
1203
01:07:21,400 --> 01:07:23,800
-You're lucky.
-I'm lucky?
1204
01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:25,920
-How so?
-Well, check it out.
1205
01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:30,720
I'm sitting here in this enormous
haunted mansion, can't sleep.
1206
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:33,160
You're hanging out at your mom's.
That's awesome.
1207
01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:37,360
-That's, like, the opposite of awesome.
-Well, this is like a hotel room...
1208
01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:39,080
...with someone else's junk in it.
1209
01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:43,600
Okay, yeah, well, that someone else's
junk, that used to be my stuff.
1210
01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:47,360
I'm just having a hard time, man.
I'm just calling up for some support.
1211
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:50,520
Do you--? Do you know
how crazy that sounds?
1212
01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:52,400
-Hey, one more thing.
-Yeah?
1213
01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:57,040
When you have the stereo on
at the same time as the TV...
1214
01:07:57,280 --> 01:07:59,240
...how do you control the volume
on the TV?
1215
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:02,080
Why do you want to listen to the TV
with the stereo on?
1216
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:04,120
Because I like to party.
1217
01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:06,200
Why am I still talking to you?
1218
01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:08,240
Come on.
We were doing good there, man.
1219
01:08:08,280 --> 01:08:10,520
I'm taking care of your house good.
1220
01:08:10,760 --> 01:08:14,040
I keep snapping back into it.
It's like a trick you're pulling on me.
1221
01:08:14,280 --> 01:08:18,400
-All right. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
-All right, man. Talk to you tomorrow.
1222
01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:23,280
Shit.
1223
01:08:23,560 --> 01:08:26,200
Get out.
1224
01:08:33,440 --> 01:08:35,160
Where did stock-car racing
come from?
1225
01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:36,440
What?
1226
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:40,720
-Hey, stop doing that.
-How did stock-car racing get its start?
1227
01:08:40,960 --> 01:08:44,560
Bootleggers in Prohibition had to have
cars fast enough to outrun the Feds...
1228
01:08:44,800 --> 01:08:47,520
-...then they started racing each other.
-That's right.
1229
01:08:47,760 --> 01:08:50,920
If I was right, why'd you throw
another bucket on me?
1230
01:08:51,160 --> 01:08:54,920
I filled up three. Now, there's nothing
like driving to avoid jail.
1231
01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:58,680
Nothing hones your mind
and your instincts like necessity.
1232
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:02,200
So I taped a kilo of cocaine underneath
the car and called the boys in blue.
1233
01:09:02,440 --> 01:09:05,200
Now, the way I figure it,
you got about two minutes...
1234
01:09:05,440 --> 01:09:08,880
...before they show up
and you do five to 10.
1235
01:09:09,120 --> 01:09:12,920
So, what's it gonna be?
Fear or prison?
1236
01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:16,360
-What the hell are you talking about?
-Real simple, son.
1237
01:09:16,400 --> 01:09:17,680
Cops are coming.
1238
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:23,040
There's a kilo of Colombian bam-bam
under the car. Time to be a man.
1239
01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:27,200
-You got hair on your peaches or what?
-You're not kidding, are you? Man.
1240
01:09:28,560 --> 01:09:30,600
You crazy creep!
1241
01:09:37,960 --> 01:09:39,920
Come on, son.
What's it gonna be?
1242
01:09:40,240 --> 01:09:41,840
Speed or jail?
1243
01:09:51,440 --> 01:09:53,920
Grandpa, would you like
to take us fishing...
1244
01:09:54,160 --> 01:09:57,440
...and tell us life lessons and stories
about your childhood?
1245
01:09:57,680 --> 01:09:59,000
I got a better idea.
1246
01:09:59,240 --> 01:10:02,040
Why don't you boys go dig a hole
and I'll get another beer?
1247
01:10:02,280 --> 01:10:06,320
Someone didn't love you enough
when you were little, did they?
1248
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:09,320
Good call.
Here, that's worth a nickel.
1249
01:10:09,360 --> 01:10:10,640
Tragic.
1250
01:10:17,320 --> 01:10:19,640
Son of a bitch, son of a bitch,
son of a bitch.
1251
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:22,960
Oh, man. Oh, man!
1252
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,240
One-sixteen. One-sixteen!
1253
01:10:28,480 --> 01:10:30,880
I'm going fast again!
1254
01:10:50,680 --> 01:10:52,280
Pull over! Pull over!
1255
01:10:52,520 --> 01:10:56,320
Pull over?
I'll pull over for you. How about this?
1256
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:33,360
Where are you?
1257
01:11:37,040 --> 01:11:38,840
Gotcha.
1258
01:11:49,240 --> 01:11:51,080
"Feels good going fast, doesn't it?
1259
01:11:51,320 --> 01:11:56,240
By the way, don't try and snort
these Lucky Charms. Reese."
1260
01:11:58,240 --> 01:11:59,760
Okay.
1261
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:02,320
Okay.
1262
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:16,280
There you go, little man.
1263
01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:28,560
Hey, Ricky!
1264
01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:30,240
How you doing?
1265
01:12:34,240 --> 01:12:38,200
-Oh, Nana, not my prison shank.
-In the can.
1266
01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:50,000
There's your
mother-flipping driving test.
1267
01:12:50,280 --> 01:12:53,120
Mr. Bobby, you are magnificent.
1268
01:12:55,000 --> 01:12:58,960
Down, Karen! Get down!
Get down, Karen!
1269
01:12:59,240 --> 01:13:00,880
It's all right. It's gonna be okay.
1270
01:13:09,680 --> 01:13:13,200
Well, son, you are looking good
behind that wheel.
1271
01:13:13,440 --> 01:13:17,240
Thanks, Daddy. I gotta tell you,
I feel good. Heck, you know what?
1272
01:13:17,480 --> 01:13:20,200
Let's go out tonight, you know,
the whole family.
1273
01:13:20,680 --> 01:13:23,640
I'm talking about sitting down,
enjoying a gourmet meal...
1274
01:13:23,920 --> 01:13:26,200
...at a place that's real special.
1275
01:13:26,280 --> 01:13:29,640
-Hi. Those plates are hot. Enjoy.
-You got your own skillet.
1276
01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:32,320
-Be back to check on you in a minute.
-Thank you.
1277
01:13:32,360 --> 01:13:34,680
Oh, gooder than grits.
1278
01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:36,320
Let us pray.
1279
01:13:38,200 --> 01:13:39,960
Dear Lord baby Jesus...
1280
01:13:40,200 --> 01:13:43,200
...lying there
in your little ghost manger...
1281
01:13:43,240 --> 01:13:46,720
...just looking at your Baby Einstein
developmental videos...
1282
01:13:46,960 --> 01:13:49,040
...learning about shapes
and colors and....
1283
01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:51,560
We just have so much
to be thankful for.
1284
01:13:51,800 --> 01:13:54,160
First off, my sons no longer act...
1285
01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:56,480
-...like retarded gangbangers.
-Amen.
1286
01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:59,280
Also, I got my balls back
behind the wheel of a car.
1287
01:13:59,320 --> 01:14:01,480
And most importantly,
we thank you...
1288
01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:05,680
...for bringing back our nasty,
delinquent, pot-dealing daddy to us.
1289
01:14:05,920 --> 01:14:08,920
For he was lost,
but now he is found. Amen.
1290
01:14:09,160 --> 01:14:11,320
-Amen.
-Amen.
1291
01:14:11,560 --> 01:14:13,040
Son, that was lovely.
1292
01:14:13,280 --> 01:14:15,040
-What a lovely meal.
-It sure is.
1293
01:14:15,280 --> 01:14:17,320
It certainly does look delicious.
1294
01:14:17,560 --> 01:14:20,640
I gotta tell you, this is about
a damn perfect evening right now.
1295
01:14:20,880 --> 01:14:23,440
It is, isn't it?
1296
01:14:23,680 --> 01:14:25,600
You know what we should do?
1297
01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:28,840
Every week, we should come back
to this Applebee's...
1298
01:14:29,080 --> 01:14:32,280
...and sit at this table,
and have a family meal.
1299
01:14:32,360 --> 01:14:34,840
-That's a great idea, Mama.
-And order the same stuff.
1300
01:14:35,080 --> 01:14:37,960
-That would be great.
-And I would be delighted, Reese...
1301
01:14:38,200 --> 01:14:42,280
...if you would accompany me to
ballroom dancing on Tuesday nights.
1302
01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:44,280
-Tuesday night?
-It's a lot of fun.
1303
01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:47,120
-I think you'd have a good time.
-How's everybody doing here?
1304
01:14:47,360 --> 01:14:50,320
-Dolly, it's so good.
-Oh, it's really, really good.
1305
01:14:50,360 --> 01:14:54,880
You know, I just--
I hate to be a pain, darling...
1306
01:14:57,720 --> 01:15:00,400
...but I asked for no onions
on my Bourbon Steak.
1307
01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:02,920
I am so sorry.
I thought you asked for onions--
1308
01:15:03,160 --> 01:15:04,960
Okay, okay,
maybe don't interrupt me.
1309
01:15:05,240 --> 01:15:08,280
-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
-Yeah, well, I think you did mean to...
1310
01:15:08,360 --> 01:15:12,640
...and I also think that you meant
to put the damn onions on my steak.
1311
01:15:12,880 --> 01:15:14,560
-Okay, Reese.
-Grandfather...
1312
01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:17,840
...can't we resolve
this conflict without anger?
1313
01:15:19,320 --> 01:15:22,400
-I'm a veteran and a diabetic!
-Dad!
1314
01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:26,560
-Dad! Why are you doing this?
-Applebee's has rats!
1315
01:15:26,800 --> 01:15:29,040
I found a whole rat
in my Cobb salad!
1316
01:15:29,280 --> 01:15:30,480
Dad, where are you going?
1317
01:15:30,720 --> 01:15:32,960
Come on, frat boy, you wanna go?
1318
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:36,520
-What's going on, man?
-Ricky, let him go!
1319
01:15:36,760 --> 01:15:40,200
-Things were going good, weren't they?
-That's exactly why I had to blow it up.
1320
01:15:40,480 --> 01:15:42,320
I don't know what organ or bone
people have...
1321
01:15:42,560 --> 01:15:45,360
...that makes them act right,
but I was born without it. I'm no good.
1322
01:15:45,600 --> 01:15:50,120
All those races I won,
that was for you, you know that?
1323
01:15:50,360 --> 01:15:55,040
I did just like you told me:
"If you ain't first, you're last."
1324
01:15:55,280 --> 01:15:56,880
What the hell are you talking about?
1325
01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:59,680
What you told me
that day at school for career day.
1326
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:05,240
You came in and you said,
"If you ain't first, you're last."
1327
01:16:06,960 --> 01:16:10,000
Oh, hell, Ricky,
I was high when I said that.
1328
01:16:10,240 --> 01:16:11,880
That doesn't make any sense at all.
1329
01:16:12,160 --> 01:16:16,080
"You're first or last." You can
be second, you can be third, fourth.
1330
01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:18,080
Hell, you can even be fifth.
1331
01:16:18,320 --> 01:16:22,800
What are you talking about?
I lived my whole life based on that.
1332
01:16:23,320 --> 01:16:25,200
Well, now what the hell
am I supposed to do?
1333
01:16:27,240 --> 01:16:30,480
Well, that's the million-dollar question,
isn't it?
1334
01:16:34,200 --> 01:16:36,240
Good luck to you, son.
1335
01:16:37,160 --> 01:16:38,720
Hey, Dad!
1336
01:16:40,160 --> 01:16:41,480
Where are you going?
1337
01:16:42,480 --> 01:16:44,360
Does it matter?
1338
01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:16,280
Here we go.
1339
01:17:16,280 --> 01:17:16,880
Here we go.
1340
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:20,240
Hey, don't bump me.
1341
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:23,800
Oh, man, I'm flying.
1342
01:17:28,440 --> 01:17:31,320
Game over. Come on, reset.
1343
01:17:31,360 --> 01:17:34,160
Boy, you are a terrible driver, no?
1344
01:17:34,200 --> 01:17:36,080
How'd you get on a video game
so fast?
1345
01:17:36,320 --> 01:17:39,960
Is your name, by chance,
Ricky Bobby?
1346
01:17:40,200 --> 01:17:43,320
Hey, screw you, man!
I got nothing because of you!
1347
01:17:46,200 --> 01:17:48,560
-I hate you!
-Hey, Ricky.
1348
01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:51,840
I am on fire. I am on fire.
1349
01:17:52,560 --> 01:17:53,760
Susan?
1350
01:17:54,040 --> 01:17:56,920
And so then I got a marketing
job with NASCAR.
1351
01:17:57,160 --> 01:18:00,120
-Really?
-Yeah, it's great. It's great.
1352
01:18:00,360 --> 01:18:03,920
Well, gosh, you look fantastic.
1353
01:18:04,160 --> 01:18:07,480
-Thank you.
-I mean, you've always looked good.
1354
01:18:08,560 --> 01:18:12,320
I mean, I'm just-- I'm happy for you.
1355
01:18:13,240 --> 01:18:14,520
Thank you.
1356
01:18:15,760 --> 01:18:17,360
But what about you?
1357
01:18:17,400 --> 01:18:19,560
How have you been?
What have you been doing?
1358
01:18:19,800 --> 01:18:23,480
Well, they want me to race at Talladega
next weekend, but I'm not gonna do it.
1359
01:18:23,760 --> 01:18:26,320
Because I'm done.
I'm done with the racing, with driving.
1360
01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:29,360
-Why would you do that?
-Because I've really moved on.
1361
01:18:29,480 --> 01:18:32,000
I've sent in my application to
The Real World...
1362
01:18:32,240 --> 01:18:33,600
...so I'm hoping to hear back.
1363
01:18:33,880 --> 01:18:37,360
I'm putting a lot of my eggs into
that basket, the MTV basket.
1364
01:18:37,400 --> 01:18:40,760
I'm also thinking about getting a gun
and dealing crack.
1365
01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:44,760
Being a crack dealer, but not like
a mean crack dealer, but like a....
1366
01:18:45,000 --> 01:18:47,120
You know, like a nice one.
1367
01:18:47,360 --> 01:18:49,360
Just kind of friendly, like, "Hey...
1368
01:18:49,400 --> 01:18:51,760
...what's up, guys?
You want some crack?"
1369
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:55,320
I'm just waiting on those two things
to kind of flesh themselves out.
1370
01:18:55,400 --> 01:18:56,360
You know what, Ricky?
1371
01:18:56,640 --> 01:19:00,560
I have kept my mouth shut
for a really, really long time.
1372
01:19:00,840 --> 01:19:03,320
And I just don't think that I can
keep it shut anymore.
1373
01:19:03,360 --> 01:19:06,280
I just have to tell you that I think
you are making a big mistake.
1374
01:19:06,520 --> 01:19:08,280
-Really?
-Yes.
1375
01:19:08,320 --> 01:19:11,880
Why is it that you always fall
for people who leave you?
1376
01:19:12,200 --> 01:19:14,000
Have you noticed that?
1377
01:19:14,240 --> 01:19:19,320
Like Carley and your dad
and your sponsors.
1378
01:19:19,600 --> 01:19:23,120
And you always have
to prove yourself. Wh--?
1379
01:19:24,640 --> 01:19:27,360
Well, you gotta listen
to me here, okay?
1380
01:19:27,400 --> 01:19:31,640
You gotta win to get love.
Everyone knows that.
1381
01:19:31,920 --> 01:19:34,160
I mean, that's just life.
1382
01:19:37,120 --> 01:19:40,280
Look at Don Shula,
legendary coach.
1383
01:19:40,320 --> 01:19:43,800
Look at that Asian guy
who holds the worId record...
1384
01:19:44,040 --> 01:19:45,920
...for eating all those hot dogs
in a row.
1385
01:19:46,200 --> 01:19:49,800
Look at Rue McClanahan
from The Golden Girls.
1386
01:19:50,720 --> 01:19:54,000
All three people,
all great champions, all loved.
1387
01:19:54,280 --> 01:19:56,680
Do you wanna know why I think
that you should race again?
1388
01:19:57,760 --> 01:19:59,000
Sure. Why?
1389
01:19:59,240 --> 01:20:03,320
Okay. It's because
it's what you love, Ricky.
1390
01:20:03,880 --> 01:20:06,560
It is who you were born to be.
1391
01:20:06,840 --> 01:20:10,160
And here you sit, thinking.
1392
01:20:10,200 --> 01:20:15,280
Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker.
Ricky Bobby is a driver.
1393
01:20:15,520 --> 01:20:17,920
He is a doer.
And that's what you need to do.
1394
01:20:18,160 --> 01:20:19,960
You don't need to think,
you need to drive.
1395
01:20:20,200 --> 01:20:24,000
You need speed. You need to go out
there, and you need to rev your engine.
1396
01:20:24,240 --> 01:20:25,280
You need to fire it up.
1397
01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:28,160
You need to grab hold of the line
between speed and chaos...
1398
01:20:28,200 --> 01:20:31,120
...and you need to wrestle it
to the ground like a demon cobra.
1399
01:20:31,360 --> 01:20:34,120
And then, when that fear rises up
in your belly, you use it...
1400
01:20:34,360 --> 01:20:37,240
...and you know that fear is powerful
because it has been there...
1401
01:20:37,320 --> 01:20:41,320
...for billions of years! And it is good,
and you use it, and you ride it.
1402
01:20:41,600 --> 01:20:44,360
You ride it like a skeleton horse
through the gates of hell...
1403
01:20:44,600 --> 01:20:46,160
...and then you win! You win!
1404
01:20:46,200 --> 01:20:49,080
You don't win for anybody else,
you win for you. You know why?
1405
01:20:49,320 --> 01:20:51,400
Because a man takes what he wants,
he takes it all.
1406
01:20:51,640 --> 01:20:54,200
And you're a man, aren't you?
Aren't you?
1407
01:20:55,320 --> 01:20:57,240
Susan, I've never heard you
talk like that.
1408
01:21:00,720 --> 01:21:02,640
Are we about to get it on?
1409
01:21:02,880 --> 01:21:05,600
Because I'm as hard as a diamond
in an ice storm right now.
1410
01:21:09,360 --> 01:21:11,360
-This is awesome.
-Yes, it is.
1411
01:21:11,600 --> 01:21:14,520
-Are you climbing on the table now?
-Yes, sir.
1412
01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:22,400
I can't believe this.
1413
01:21:22,640 --> 01:21:28,400
This is like that Whitesnake video
where the girI crawIs on....
1414
01:21:28,640 --> 01:21:31,480
Yeah. Just like that.
What's her name?
1415
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,800
Tawny Kitaen. She's really good.
1416
01:21:34,040 --> 01:21:35,960
-She's great.
-She's fantastic.
1417
01:21:37,240 --> 01:21:38,680
Everyone, turn away.
1418
01:21:38,920 --> 01:21:42,960
Things are gonna get crazy.
We're gonna make animal noises.
1419
01:22:18,280 --> 01:22:20,400
-Looks good, damn good.
-Yeah. That's good, guys.
1420
01:22:20,680 --> 01:22:23,360
Yeah, Ricky, it's good to be back.
1421
01:22:23,440 --> 01:22:25,200
-Talladega.
-Talladega.
1422
01:22:25,400 --> 01:22:27,360
I missed you dudes.
1423
01:22:27,640 --> 01:22:28,880
Even you too, Glenn.
1424
01:22:30,640 --> 01:22:35,680
I didn't have a whole lot of money left,
but what I did I put into the car.
1425
01:22:35,920 --> 01:22:38,800
We got some lower-end sponsors,
so it's nothing to shout about...
1426
01:22:39,040 --> 01:22:41,240
...but at least we got
something to run in.
1427
01:22:41,400 --> 01:22:42,720
Let's see what we got, guys.
1428
01:22:44,280 --> 01:22:47,280
What are we looking at?
"Julio's thongs for men"?
1429
01:22:47,320 --> 01:22:49,480
Come on, what kind of dude
wears a thong?
1430
01:22:49,720 --> 01:22:51,720
Yeah, that's messed up.
1431
01:22:52,160 --> 01:22:53,280
Perverts, you know?
1432
01:22:54,960 --> 01:22:56,280
It's not the best car, but it'll move.
1433
01:22:57,720 --> 01:23:01,280
Hold on, now, baby. Let's just see
what this thing's got under the hood.
1434
01:23:03,280 --> 01:23:06,120
-There she is.
-Looks like the Pep Boys threw up.
1435
01:23:06,360 --> 01:23:08,120
-Damn.
-Like I said, work in progress.
1436
01:23:08,360 --> 01:23:11,920
All right, I tell you what we gotta do.
Since we got no corporate money...
1437
01:23:12,160 --> 01:23:13,960
...we have to build this
engine ourselves.
1438
01:23:14,200 --> 01:23:18,200
I want you to hit up every independent
driver out there for spare parts.
1439
01:23:18,440 --> 01:23:20,360
Yeah, Lucius, that's crazy.
1440
01:23:20,600 --> 01:23:23,920
Well, crazy is all we got
right now, okay? So do it.
1441
01:23:24,200 --> 01:23:25,240
Now, where you going?
1442
01:23:25,480 --> 01:23:27,760
I wanna tell Gerard Depardieu
we're coming for him.
1443
01:23:28,040 --> 01:23:30,600
There you go, baby. Give him hell.
1444
01:23:30,880 --> 01:23:34,200
Get this engine built. Get it built.
1445
01:23:40,600 --> 01:23:42,480
I have not finished.
1446
01:23:50,360 --> 01:23:54,200
Monsieur Girard,
Ricky Bobby is here to see you.
1447
01:23:54,240 --> 01:23:58,280
This is the one I was talking about,
Ricky Bobby.
1448
01:23:59,480 --> 01:24:02,000
Thank you, Bacco. Go.
1449
01:24:02,720 --> 01:24:05,080
You're a tough man to find.
You know that, buster?
1450
01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:07,840
I prefer solitude
the day before a race.
1451
01:24:08,080 --> 01:24:11,040
I am being so incredibly rude,
Monsieur Bobby.
1452
01:24:11,280 --> 01:24:13,600
Let me introduce you
to my lunch guests.
1453
01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:17,160
This is my dear old friend
EIvis Costello.
1454
01:24:17,200 --> 01:24:21,120
Delightful to meet you, Mr. Robert.
I thought you were dead.
1455
01:24:21,640 --> 01:24:27,840
And next to him is hip-hop artist,
poet and my brother-in-law, Mos Def.
1456
01:24:28,080 --> 01:24:30,720
I like your driving style.
I'm more of a Tony Stewart man...
1457
01:24:31,000 --> 01:24:32,400
...number 20 car, myself.
1458
01:24:32,680 --> 01:24:34,640
How he gets into
those straightaways.
1459
01:24:34,920 --> 01:24:36,320
Gets it in the paint. Get her done!
1460
01:24:36,600 --> 01:24:39,320
And across from Monsieur Def...
1461
01:24:40,360 --> 01:24:41,640
...is Breeze.
1462
01:24:41,880 --> 01:24:45,040
Hey. You're Breeze or you're Breeze?
Which one of you is Breeze?
1463
01:24:45,280 --> 01:24:47,640
Together we are Breeze.
1464
01:24:47,880 --> 01:24:51,600
They are like twins,
born from different wombs.
1465
01:24:52,200 --> 01:24:53,480
-Right.
-They are God's most...
1466
01:24:53,720 --> 01:24:56,000
...beautiful mistake.
1467
01:24:56,320 --> 01:24:59,840
They do everything together.
Everything.
1468
01:25:00,080 --> 01:25:02,320
They read the same books.
1469
01:25:02,560 --> 01:25:06,360
They do Pilates together.
1470
01:25:07,400 --> 01:25:09,800
They walk, talk, sleep...
1471
01:25:10,240 --> 01:25:11,960
...even go make toilet.
1472
01:25:12,200 --> 01:25:14,120
Okay, you're starting
to creep me out, man.
1473
01:25:14,360 --> 01:25:15,840
A single plop.
1474
01:25:16,080 --> 01:25:17,640
One single plop.
1475
01:25:19,480 --> 01:25:21,240
I don't need to hear about
doing a toilet.
1476
01:25:21,480 --> 01:25:23,000
You want more examples?
1477
01:25:23,240 --> 01:25:26,200
-No, you listed like 8000.
-Less than that.
1478
01:25:26,440 --> 01:25:28,280
-It's none of my business.
-More like...
1479
01:25:28,520 --> 01:25:30,280
...I don't know, between five and 10.
1480
01:25:30,320 --> 01:25:32,440
Look, I need to talk to you.
1481
01:25:32,840 --> 01:25:34,320
Walk with me, Ricky Bobby.
1482
01:25:34,560 --> 01:25:36,800
-You have a good lunch.
-Take care, man.
1483
01:25:37,480 --> 01:25:39,600
-Goodbye, Ricky.
-Goodbye.
1484
01:25:39,880 --> 01:25:42,680
Holding hands with a man
makes me terribly uncomfortable.
1485
01:25:42,920 --> 01:25:46,000
It is a sign of friendship
in many countries.
1486
01:25:46,280 --> 01:25:47,920
Well, not in ours.
1487
01:25:48,160 --> 01:25:50,720
There's nothing sexual about it.
1488
01:25:50,960 --> 01:25:53,240
Please don't be worried at the fact
I have an erection.
1489
01:25:53,480 --> 01:25:56,240
-It has nothing to do with you.
-Hey, come on.
1490
01:25:56,480 --> 01:26:01,320
Look. Here's the deal.
I came here to tell you one thing.
1491
01:26:01,360 --> 01:26:04,240
All right?
Tomorrow, I'm coming for you.
1492
01:26:04,280 --> 01:26:07,320
Do you know why I came to America,
Ricky Bobby?
1493
01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:11,200
Public schools, health-care system,
giant water parks.
1494
01:26:11,280 --> 01:26:13,520
I mean, the same reason
anyone comes to America.
1495
01:26:14,920 --> 01:26:18,200
I came here for you to beat me.
1496
01:26:18,760 --> 01:26:21,800
-What the hell are you talking about?
-My husband, Gregory, and I...
1497
01:26:22,040 --> 01:26:25,800
...wish only for that
which every other couple wishes for:
1498
01:26:26,040 --> 01:26:29,960
To tame Komodo dragons
in Sri Lanka...
1499
01:26:30,200 --> 01:26:33,320
...and teach them
to perform Hamlet.
1500
01:26:33,360 --> 01:26:35,000
But before I can do that....
1501
01:26:35,240 --> 01:26:37,720
-That's dumb.
-It's not dumb.
1502
01:26:37,960 --> 01:26:39,760
-It is dumb.
-Why is it dumb?
1503
01:26:40,000 --> 01:26:41,920
-I don't know.
-But before I can do that...
1504
01:26:42,160 --> 01:26:46,360
...I must be beaten by a driver
who's truly better than me.
1505
01:26:46,680 --> 01:26:48,920
So you're gonna lose to me
on purpose?
1506
01:26:49,200 --> 01:26:50,840
-No.
-No?
1507
01:26:51,080 --> 01:26:52,240
No!
1508
01:26:53,360 --> 01:26:56,080
I will battle you with the entirety
of my heart.
1509
01:26:56,320 --> 01:26:58,120
And you will probably lose.
1510
01:26:58,720 --> 01:27:03,120
But maybe, just maybe...
1511
01:27:03,760 --> 01:27:06,120
...you might challenge me.
1512
01:27:06,360 --> 01:27:07,840
God needs the devil.
1513
01:27:08,080 --> 01:27:10,960
The Beatles needed
the Rolling Stones.
1514
01:27:11,200 --> 01:27:14,560
Even Diane Sawyer
needed Katie Couric.
1515
01:27:15,840 --> 01:27:18,560
Will you be my Katie Couric?
1516
01:27:21,080 --> 01:27:23,280
I feel like I'm in Highlander.
1517
01:27:26,440 --> 01:27:28,000
What's the Highlander?
1518
01:27:28,280 --> 01:27:29,320
It's a movie.
1519
01:27:29,560 --> 01:27:31,400
-Any good?
-Very good.
1520
01:27:31,640 --> 01:27:33,560
-It won the Academy Award.
-Oh, for what?
1521
01:27:33,800 --> 01:27:35,400
For best movie ever made.
1522
01:27:35,640 --> 01:27:38,760
I just want you to know I came here
today to tell you one thing.
1523
01:27:39,000 --> 01:27:41,800
That come race time tomorrow,
I'm coming for you, all right?
1524
01:27:42,760 --> 01:27:44,920
-May God be with you.
-Yeah.
1525
01:27:45,160 --> 01:27:48,240
Because although
today I am friendly...
1526
01:27:49,240 --> 01:27:53,760
...tomorrow will be war!
1527
01:27:54,800 --> 01:27:55,840
All right.
1528
01:28:01,120 --> 01:28:04,680
Ladies and gentlemen, pull up a chair,
drop the kids off with their aunt...
1529
01:28:04,920 --> 01:28:07,680
...and take the phone off the hook
because it's race day here...
1530
01:28:07,920 --> 01:28:10,080
...at the Talladega Superspeedway.
1531
01:28:20,320 --> 01:28:22,280
Hey, guys.
1532
01:28:24,720 --> 01:28:26,640
-Why so down?
-Ricky...
1533
01:28:26,880 --> 01:28:29,280
...we were up all night
working on the car.
1534
01:28:29,560 --> 01:28:31,600
And then something happened.
There was a fire.
1535
01:28:31,880 --> 01:28:33,320
Did you say "fire"?
1536
01:28:33,360 --> 01:28:34,880
Glenn is dead, Ricky.
1537
01:28:36,000 --> 01:28:39,280
I mean,
he died last night in my arms...
1538
01:28:39,320 --> 01:28:40,960
-...as I held him.
-Oh, man.
1539
01:28:41,200 --> 01:28:43,760
He was so scared,
because you know how little he is.
1540
01:28:44,000 --> 01:28:46,280
And death was coming for him,
and he stood there...
1541
01:28:46,320 --> 01:28:50,000
...and with a tear coming out his eyes,
he said, "Tell Ricky, win for me."
1542
01:28:50,240 --> 01:28:52,920
That's all that little bastard wanted,
was for you to win.
1543
01:28:53,160 --> 01:28:54,280
I wish you could've seen him.
1544
01:28:54,520 --> 01:28:57,200
I wish you could've felt
his little heart fluttering.
1545
01:28:57,280 --> 01:28:58,720
Sweet Jesus.
1546
01:28:59,240 --> 01:29:01,240
Poor Glenn.
1547
01:29:03,360 --> 01:29:06,360
Hey, what the hell, man.
Hey, Glenn. Glenn!
1548
01:29:08,680 --> 01:29:12,120
-I see you.
-Glenn, what did I say?
1549
01:29:12,360 --> 01:29:14,880
-I said, "Wait till after the race."
-Was he crying?
1550
01:29:15,120 --> 01:29:18,480
I'm sorry, Ricky. We were just trying to
give you a little extra motivation.
1551
01:29:18,720 --> 01:29:21,520
Well, that is just sick, guys.
1552
01:29:21,760 --> 01:29:24,720
It's okay, Susie.
I appreciate it, guys.
1553
01:29:24,960 --> 01:29:26,360
Just trying to help out...
1554
01:29:26,440 --> 01:29:29,320
...even though
it was weird and perverse.
1555
01:29:29,360 --> 01:29:31,800
They're just trying to help, Ricky.
We're a team here.
1556
01:29:32,080 --> 01:29:34,320
-I appreciate it.
-Let's see what's under the hood.
1557
01:29:34,400 --> 01:29:36,520
All right, let's have a look.
1558
01:29:42,280 --> 01:29:45,480
Hot dog. I mean, that's like looking up
Bridgette Wilson-Sampras' skirt.
1559
01:29:45,720 --> 01:29:49,080
We were up all night working on it.
Like I said, a lot of teams gave parts.
1560
01:29:49,320 --> 01:29:50,360
Nice work, guys.
1561
01:29:50,600 --> 01:29:54,280
And your sponsors weren't doing
very much, so...
1562
01:29:54,320 --> 01:29:56,280
...well, we repainted the car.
1563
01:29:56,520 --> 01:29:58,840
Well, take a look. Come on, guys.
1564
01:30:01,640 --> 01:30:04,920
Well, I like the cougar,
but what company is "M.E."?
1565
01:30:05,200 --> 01:30:07,280
"Me" is you...
1566
01:30:07,560 --> 01:30:09,320
...because it's just you out there.
1567
01:30:09,400 --> 01:30:12,360
We don't have
any corporate sponsors.
1568
01:30:12,400 --> 01:30:14,640
We don't have
any fancy team owners.
1569
01:30:14,880 --> 01:30:16,400
We have you...
1570
01:30:16,640 --> 01:30:19,520
...and this car, and this cougar...
1571
01:30:19,760 --> 01:30:22,560
...which symbolizes the fear
that you have overcome.
1572
01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:24,560
It's all there for you.
1573
01:30:25,120 --> 01:30:30,240
Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur,
the mighty sword King Arthur used...
1574
01:30:30,280 --> 01:30:32,760
...to bring together
the Knights of the Round Table...
1575
01:30:33,000 --> 01:30:37,720
...until Lancelot betrayed him by laying
with his queen, in the biblical sense.
1576
01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:39,520
Okay, Glenn.
1577
01:30:39,800 --> 01:30:42,760
Everything cool that Susan said,
you wrecked it.
1578
01:30:44,520 --> 01:30:46,680
Guys, let's go win ourselves
a race, all right?
1579
01:30:46,920 --> 01:30:49,000
-There you go. Yeah!
-Right?
1580
01:30:49,240 --> 01:30:50,360
Let's get out there and win a race.
1581
01:30:50,360 --> 01:30:51,520
Let's get out there and win a race.
1582
01:31:05,720 --> 01:31:07,240
From Provence, France...
1583
01:31:07,280 --> 01:31:11,040
...driver of the number 55
Perrier car...
1584
01:31:11,320 --> 01:31:14,280
...Jean Girard.
1585
01:31:21,680 --> 01:31:24,200
From West River, North Carolina...
1586
01:31:24,280 --> 01:31:27,520
...driver of the number 47
Old Spice car...
1587
01:31:27,760 --> 01:31:31,000
... Cal Naughton Jr.
1588
01:31:40,120 --> 01:31:41,880
Hey, Carley.
1589
01:31:42,120 --> 01:31:45,640
-Hey, Ricky.
-Carley! Hey, baby.
1590
01:31:47,560 --> 01:31:49,200
Baby.
1591
01:31:49,280 --> 01:31:51,240
Oh, hey, Ricky.
1592
01:31:51,480 --> 01:31:54,200
Hey, man.
We missed you at the wedding.
1593
01:31:54,240 --> 01:31:57,200
-You missed me at the wedding?
-Oh, man, it was so classy.
1594
01:31:57,440 --> 01:32:00,880
We had a Styx cover band
and a nacho fountain.
1595
01:32:01,120 --> 01:32:04,080
Check it, it was a nacho fountain
with six kinds of cheese on it.
1596
01:32:04,320 --> 01:32:07,400
-Liquid cheese? It cascaded down?
-Yeah.
1597
01:32:07,640 --> 01:32:09,760
-Are you serious?
-Amazing. Six different kinds.
1598
01:32:10,000 --> 01:32:11,440
Swiss, Havarti.
What was the other one?
1599
01:32:11,680 --> 01:32:12,760
-Gouda.
-Cheddar, Gouda.
1600
01:32:13,000 --> 01:32:14,920
That's the greatest thing
I ever heard of.
1601
01:32:15,160 --> 01:32:17,000
Bean buffet in front of it.
It was awesome.
1602
01:32:17,240 --> 01:32:20,360
Don't listen to him. And remember
one thing, he's the competition.
1603
01:32:20,640 --> 01:32:23,440
You're not very focused right now.
I need you to focus.
1604
01:32:23,680 --> 01:32:25,080
-Hey.
-What?
1605
01:32:25,320 --> 01:32:27,440
-I'm the Magic Man now. Okay?
-Yeah, I know.
1606
01:32:27,680 --> 01:32:30,640
So get ready for some tricks up
these sleeves, all right?
1607
01:32:30,880 --> 01:32:32,200
Watch your buns, pal.
1608
01:32:32,240 --> 01:32:35,160
Baby, that is real good talk.
Like we practiced last night.
1609
01:32:35,200 --> 01:32:37,680
I got something to tell you,
you mangy piece of trash.
1610
01:32:37,920 --> 01:32:40,480
-What?
-I'm sorry.
1611
01:32:42,680 --> 01:32:46,240
I took you for granted, Cal, and you
were a really good friend to me...
1612
01:32:46,360 --> 01:32:49,600
...and I never gave you your due.
It was my fault.
1613
01:32:50,800 --> 01:32:54,240
I'll tell you the truth.
I'm a little confused by your tactics.
1614
01:32:54,320 --> 01:32:57,280
-Tactics?
-Yeah. I'm gonna keep acting tough...
1615
01:32:57,320 --> 01:32:59,520
...until I figure it out. All right?
1616
01:33:00,280 --> 01:33:02,000
See you on the track.
1617
01:33:02,240 --> 01:33:04,480
-Come on, baby.
-I love you.
1618
01:33:04,720 --> 01:33:06,320
I love you too. Come on.
1619
01:33:06,560 --> 01:33:08,520
Abracadabra, homes.
1620
01:33:12,640 --> 01:33:15,320
Hi, Bill Weber, along with
Wally Dallenbach and Benny Parsons.
1621
01:33:15,560 --> 01:33:19,320
Thanks for having us. Today,
Talladega, NASCAR's biggest track...
1622
01:33:19,360 --> 01:33:21,320
...where the big concern
is the big wreck.
1623
01:33:21,360 --> 01:33:23,480
And it's not if it happens,
it's where and when.
1624
01:33:23,720 --> 01:33:26,880
We have a guy in the race today
that'll probably cause it, Ricky Bobby.
1625
01:33:27,160 --> 01:33:29,240
Starting in the rear of the field,
underfunded...
1626
01:33:29,320 --> 01:33:31,920
...and the last time we saw him,
he caused a big crash.
1627
01:33:32,200 --> 01:33:35,520
A lot of big stories and some
big questions here at Talladega.
1628
01:33:48,320 --> 01:33:50,520
All right, go get them.
1629
01:34:04,560 --> 01:34:06,520
You must decide, Ricky Bobby.
1630
01:34:06,800 --> 01:34:10,360
Is it foolish pride,
or is it greatness for you?
1631
01:34:18,560 --> 01:34:21,320
-Hey, Jarvis!
-Go ahead, Cal.
1632
01:34:21,560 --> 01:34:24,680
If you slept with
your best friend's wife...
1633
01:34:24,920 --> 01:34:28,520
-...why would he apologize to you?
-Yeah, I know. That's weird.
1634
01:34:28,760 --> 01:34:32,440
That's what I'm saying.
My head's all tied up like a pretzel.
1635
01:34:32,720 --> 01:34:34,200
I got a pretzel in my head.
1636
01:34:39,200 --> 01:34:40,520
-Ricky!
-Come on, Dad!
1637
01:35:07,440 --> 01:35:09,280
I've got some big investors
coming by.
1638
01:35:09,360 --> 01:35:11,360
These guys are
big-money power players.
1639
01:35:11,400 --> 01:35:14,800
If things go right, they could have us
owning half the cars in NASCAR.
1640
01:35:15,040 --> 01:35:16,760
So I want you--
No, I want you to behave.
1641
01:35:17,000 --> 01:35:18,280
-Oh, really?
-Quiet.
1642
01:35:18,320 --> 01:35:20,680
Should I not tell them
after 14 years of marriage...
1643
01:35:20,920 --> 01:35:22,960
...you're still afraid
to let me see you naked?
1644
01:35:23,200 --> 01:35:25,200
That's not a fear thing,
it's a trust thing.
1645
01:35:25,680 --> 01:35:28,640
Hey! I was wondering
where you guys got off to.
1646
01:35:28,880 --> 01:35:31,000
Baby, this is Ted Beamen
from Halliburton.
1647
01:35:31,240 --> 01:35:33,280
-Nice to meet you.
-Over here...
1648
01:35:33,320 --> 01:35:36,280
...is Dick Tangfield
from Dynacorp.
1649
01:35:36,320 --> 01:35:38,280
-Back there is....
-You have beautiful teeth.
1650
01:35:38,560 --> 01:35:40,360
Yes, he does.
Get yourselves down there.
1651
01:35:40,440 --> 01:35:42,200
-Adorable.
-Make yourselves at home...
1652
01:35:42,280 --> 01:35:45,760
-...grab something to eat, over here....
-Sweetheart, sweetheart.
1653
01:35:46,000 --> 01:35:47,360
You're a sweetie pie.
1654
01:35:47,600 --> 01:35:50,320
She's very affectionate.
She suffered a recent loss--
1655
01:35:50,560 --> 01:35:51,920
You taste good too.
1656
01:35:52,160 --> 01:35:54,000
--so she's a little emotional.
1657
01:35:54,240 --> 01:35:58,360
Okay, that's fine. Go ahead, find a seat.
Can we get these guys something?
1658
01:35:58,640 --> 01:36:01,920
Jean Girard started from the pole
and is out to a big lead.
1659
01:36:02,160 --> 01:36:04,360
As you know, Bill,
he's been doing that all year.
1660
01:36:06,920 --> 01:36:11,480
Where are you, Ricky Bobby?
Come face your destroyer!
1661
01:36:11,760 --> 01:36:14,320
"Come face your destroyer"?
Listen to how I sound.
1662
01:36:14,360 --> 01:36:16,200
I sound like a massive prick.
1663
01:36:18,360 --> 01:36:20,040
Come on, baby! Yeah, that's it.
1664
01:36:20,320 --> 01:36:23,080
All right, Lucius.
Time to let the cougar loose.
1665
01:36:25,440 --> 01:36:27,240
Here we go, boys.
1666
01:36:34,960 --> 01:36:37,400
Ricky Bobby, in the 6 2 car,
on the move.
1667
01:36:37,640 --> 01:36:39,840
He's gone from 26th to 18th place.
1668
01:36:40,080 --> 01:36:43,640
Now let's go to John Hannafin, in the
stands with a country-music legend.
1669
01:36:43,880 --> 01:36:47,120
Thank you, Sean. I'm here with one
of the greatest country-music stars...
1670
01:36:47,200 --> 01:36:49,000
...of all time, Kenny Rogers.
1671
01:36:49,280 --> 01:36:53,200
-What do you think of the race so far?
-It's good. They're going really fast.
1672
01:36:53,280 --> 01:36:55,360
John, that's not Kenny Rogers.
1673
01:36:55,600 --> 01:36:58,200
In the song "The Gambler,"
you sang:
1674
01:36:58,240 --> 01:37:01,400
"You gotta know when to walk away
and know when to run."
1675
01:37:01,640 --> 01:37:04,160
Should Ricky Bobby have
stayed away from racing?
1676
01:37:04,200 --> 01:37:09,400
Mr. Bobby's very competitive.
If he wants to race, he should race.
1677
01:37:09,840 --> 01:37:13,560
Well, this is John Hannafin with Kenny
Rogers. And now back to you, Bill.
1678
01:37:13,800 --> 01:37:15,720
Well, that, of course,
was not Kenny Rogers.
1679
01:37:15,960 --> 01:37:16,920
Not even close.
1680
01:37:18,000 --> 01:37:20,120
Ricky, you've got Brian Wavecrest...
1681
01:37:20,240 --> 01:37:22,680
...the guy that replaced you
at Dennit, dead ahead.
1682
01:37:22,960 --> 01:37:25,600
Bobby working really hard to pass
the Wonder Bread car.
1683
01:37:25,840 --> 01:37:27,560
That's his old ride, of course.
1684
01:37:34,200 --> 01:37:36,520
We've passed the halfway mark
with Ricky Bobby...
1685
01:37:36,760 --> 01:37:39,760
...now three car lengths
behind the leader.
1686
01:37:40,040 --> 01:37:43,240
Maybe subconsciously
you slept with Ricky's wife...
1687
01:37:43,280 --> 01:37:45,120
...as a way of getting back at him...
1688
01:37:45,360 --> 01:37:48,080
...for making you
come in second all those years.
1689
01:37:48,360 --> 01:37:52,360
I know one thing, Carley was definitely
unconscious every time we had sex.
1690
01:37:54,200 --> 01:37:56,360
Lucius, I got Cal Naughton
dead ahead of me.
1691
01:37:59,680 --> 01:38:02,400
Hey, Cal, you should pay attention.
I think he's passing you.
1692
01:38:02,640 --> 01:38:04,840
Is Ricky passing me
in my subconscious?
1693
01:38:05,080 --> 01:38:07,880
No, he's actually passing you.
That's happening right now.
1694
01:38:08,320 --> 01:38:10,600
Go, Ricky! Go!
1695
01:38:10,840 --> 01:38:12,320
Let's go back to our
John Hannafin...
1696
01:38:12,560 --> 01:38:16,120
...who's in the stands
with an NBA legend, Larry Bird.
1697
01:38:16,360 --> 01:38:18,680
Folks, I'm here with one of the great
NBA superstars...
1698
01:38:18,920 --> 01:38:20,600
...a real legend, Larry Bird.
1699
01:38:20,840 --> 01:38:24,040
I almost didn't recognize you with
the sunglasses. What are you up to?
1700
01:38:24,280 --> 01:38:25,840
Come on, John, pay attention.
1701
01:38:26,120 --> 01:38:28,240
I'm concerned.
He might have had a stroke.
1702
01:38:28,320 --> 01:38:30,880
Didn't Ricky Bobby used to
drive for you?
1703
01:38:31,160 --> 01:38:33,080
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
-He's doing quite well.
1704
01:38:33,320 --> 01:38:36,320
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Richard!
1705
01:38:37,160 --> 01:38:39,480
Get Cal Naughton's crew chief
on the radio right away.
1706
01:38:41,280 --> 01:38:45,520
I believe you have some tickets waiting
for me. My name's Reese Bobby.
1707
01:38:45,760 --> 01:38:47,240
Reese Bobby.
1708
01:38:48,760 --> 01:38:52,280
Mister, these tickets have been waiting
for you for a long time.
1709
01:38:59,320 --> 01:39:01,640
Who needs two? I got tickets!
1710
01:39:01,920 --> 01:39:03,960
Tickets, right here, 60 bucks a pop.
1711
01:39:11,320 --> 01:39:15,520
All right, Girard, I found you.
Now let's see where this goes.
1712
01:39:15,760 --> 01:39:17,360
Bobby's gotten around Naughton...
1713
01:39:17,400 --> 01:39:21,080
...and now he's right behind Girard,
but Girard's gonna block the track.
1714
01:39:21,320 --> 01:39:23,360
Man, he's scary good.
1715
01:39:23,400 --> 01:39:25,560
Ah, Ricky Bobby.
1716
01:39:25,800 --> 01:39:30,280
Now we shall dance,
and yes, it will be a slow jam.
1717
01:39:36,600 --> 01:39:39,000
Damn it. Come on, man.
1718
01:39:41,880 --> 01:39:44,360
I was wrong about you, Ricky Bobby.
1719
01:39:44,400 --> 01:39:46,920
You are not the one to defeat me.
1720
01:39:50,720 --> 01:39:52,120
I can't get around him, man.
1721
01:39:56,240 --> 01:39:58,720
You tell Cal Naughton
to take Ricky Bobby out.
1722
01:39:58,960 --> 01:40:02,960
Hey, Cal, listen. I hate to add
to your tremendous moral confusion...
1723
01:40:03,200 --> 01:40:04,520
...but I just heard from Dennit.
1724
01:40:04,760 --> 01:40:07,840
He said to take Ricky Bobby
out of the race or you're fired, buddy.
1725
01:40:08,120 --> 01:40:09,360
What are you talking about?
1726
01:40:09,600 --> 01:40:13,240
Tell him if he doesn't do it, he's done.
That's right, he'll be driving a tour bus.
1727
01:40:13,480 --> 01:40:18,000
Well, you tell Mr. Dennit that
Ricky Bobby is my best friend.
1728
01:40:18,240 --> 01:40:21,000
-And it's Shake and Bake time.
-Cal, I don't like the way...
1729
01:40:21,240 --> 01:40:24,560
-...you're talking out there.
-Damn the torpedoes!
1730
01:40:32,800 --> 01:40:37,000
Come on, man, slingshot it.
Slingshot, come on.
1731
01:40:37,240 --> 01:40:40,200
I can't believe it.
If it isn't Mike Honcho himself.
1732
01:40:40,480 --> 01:40:41,920
Shake and Bake, buddy!
1733
01:40:42,160 --> 01:40:44,040
Shake it before you bake it.
1734
01:40:44,920 --> 01:40:48,440
Here I come. Slingshot engaged.
1735
01:40:51,520 --> 01:40:53,240
Yeah!
1736
01:40:53,960 --> 01:40:55,440
I love you, Cal!
1737
01:40:55,680 --> 01:40:58,440
-What are you doing?
-Can't believe it. Now I've seen it all.
1738
01:40:58,680 --> 01:41:03,400
Cal Naughton from Dennit Racing just
helped a rival driver pass a teammate.
1739
01:41:05,440 --> 01:41:09,680
Darrell, you tell Brian Wavecrest
to take out Cal Naughton right now.
1740
01:41:09,920 --> 01:41:12,240
Right now, you do it. You do it!
1741
01:41:13,080 --> 01:41:14,200
Yes, sir.
1742
01:41:21,960 --> 01:41:25,040
And the 26 car just ran Naughton
into the wall.
1743
01:41:31,080 --> 01:41:32,520
Oh, man.
1744
01:41:38,360 --> 01:41:40,360
Damn you, Wavecrest!
1745
01:41:43,960 --> 01:41:48,240
The entire field was in that wreck,
and we've only got six laps to go.
1746
01:41:48,320 --> 01:41:51,320
Only Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard
got away clean.
1747
01:41:53,800 --> 01:41:56,320
It's just Jean and Ricky.
1748
01:42:00,640 --> 01:42:05,320
And now the matador shall dance
with the blind shoemaker.
1749
01:42:07,280 --> 01:42:10,440
Race officials have completed
an extensive cleanup of the track.
1750
01:42:10,680 --> 01:42:12,280
We're ready to get back to racing.
1751
01:42:12,320 --> 01:42:15,800
The 200,000 fans are on their feet,
and the green flag is in the air.
1752
01:42:25,200 --> 01:42:27,640
Bobby and Girard are
dueling each other for the lead.
1753
01:42:27,920 --> 01:42:30,240
No one seems to have the edge.
1754
01:42:30,280 --> 01:42:32,400
Go, go, go! Come on, come on, go!
1755
01:42:32,640 --> 01:42:35,360
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the final lap.
1756
01:42:38,480 --> 01:42:42,320
By the way, Ricky,
I watched the Highlander movie.
1757
01:42:42,560 --> 01:42:44,000
It was shit.
1758
01:42:45,840 --> 01:42:48,240
Hang on, baby Jesus,
this is gonna get bumpy.
1759
01:43:15,080 --> 01:43:17,120
I've seen a lot of big crashes
at Talladega...
1760
01:43:17,360 --> 01:43:19,200
...but this is the longest one
I've ever seen.
1761
01:43:19,440 --> 01:43:22,240
Let's take a quick commercial break
and we'll be right back.
1762
01:43:22,280 --> 01:43:24,320
Hungry for both steak and shrimp?
1763
01:43:32,240 --> 01:43:36,040
Welcome back to Talladega,
where the long one continues.
1764
01:43:43,360 --> 01:43:47,320
No, no! Jean Girard and Ricky Bobby
have wrecked in the last lap...
1765
01:43:47,560 --> 01:43:49,280
...on the straightaway.
What a shame.
1766
01:43:49,520 --> 01:43:51,280
Oh, God.
1767
01:43:52,360 --> 01:43:56,280
It looks like neither Girard or Bobby
will finish this race.
1768
01:43:56,320 --> 01:43:59,560
We'd like to thank you for joining us
for NBC's coverage of NAS CAR.
1769
01:43:59,840 --> 01:44:02,840
Coming up next,
it's Ice Dancing to the Hits of Motown.
1770
01:44:22,360 --> 01:44:25,240
Wait a minute, there's something
going on on the track down there.
1771
01:44:25,480 --> 01:44:27,720
Oh, my God,
they're racing each other on foot.
1772
01:44:27,960 --> 01:44:29,240
These men will not quit.
1773
01:44:29,480 --> 01:44:31,560
Go! Go!
1774
01:44:34,240 --> 01:44:36,880
Ricky, Ricky. He's going,
he's going, he's going. Look!
1775
01:45:14,360 --> 01:45:16,160
He did it!
1776
01:45:22,760 --> 01:45:24,920
Well, I'll be damned.
1777
01:45:26,320 --> 01:45:28,280
Good for you, Ricky Bobby.
1778
01:45:34,320 --> 01:45:36,360
Yeah! Yeah!
1779
01:45:36,600 --> 01:45:38,000
Ricky Bobby wins!
1780
01:45:38,240 --> 01:45:40,720
You'll never see anything like that
in a hundred lifetimes.
1781
01:45:41,000 --> 01:45:44,480
It was completely illegal and in no way
will count, but that was something.
1782
01:45:44,760 --> 01:45:47,240
It was. That was really good.
1783
01:45:49,680 --> 01:45:53,360
Monsieur Bobby,
by defeating me today...
1784
01:45:53,400 --> 01:45:55,960
...you have set me free.
1785
01:45:56,200 --> 01:45:58,560
And for that, I thank you.
1786
01:46:00,600 --> 01:46:04,240
I will never shake your hand, ever.
1787
01:46:06,160 --> 01:46:08,320
But I will give you this.
1788
01:46:29,560 --> 01:46:34,360
Sir, you taste of America.
1789
01:46:35,680 --> 01:46:37,560
Thank you.
1790
01:46:42,640 --> 01:46:45,680
No, once was good. Once was good.
1791
01:46:50,240 --> 01:46:53,080
Boy, that Halliburton.
Halliburton's taken off, haven't they?
1792
01:46:53,320 --> 01:46:54,600
Yeah, yeah, we're doing well.
1793
01:46:54,840 --> 01:46:57,520
Now there's some stock
I'd like to get my hands on.
1794
01:46:57,760 --> 01:46:59,760
Ladies and gentlemen,
NASCAR fans...
1795
01:47:00,000 --> 01:47:02,520
...your eyes on Talladega's
famed Victory Lane...
1796
01:47:02,760 --> 01:47:04,600
...as we get ready
for trophy time here...
1797
01:47:04,840 --> 01:47:08,000
...following an exciting running
of the Talladega 500.
1798
01:47:08,240 --> 01:47:10,360
First, a very brief explanation.
1799
01:47:10,600 --> 01:47:15,160
Because the drivers that finished
first and second got out of their cars...
1800
01:47:15,200 --> 01:47:17,800
...they have officially
been disqualified.
1801
01:47:18,040 --> 01:47:21,720
So now the winner, he was third,
he's now number one:
1802
01:47:22,360 --> 01:47:25,760
Cal Naughton Jr.!
1803
01:47:27,000 --> 01:47:28,600
Yeah, come on, guys!
1804
01:47:31,280 --> 01:47:34,280
-Give me that thing.
-Cal, you're number one!
1805
01:47:34,320 --> 01:47:36,960
I've been waiting a long time for you
to say my name, man.
1806
01:47:37,200 --> 01:47:40,200
I know it's a technicality,
but I tell you what...
1807
01:47:40,440 --> 01:47:43,720
...you try to take this away from me,
I'll sock you in the face.
1808
01:47:43,960 --> 01:47:45,720
Ricky.
1809
01:47:45,960 --> 01:47:47,560
Give me that thing.
1810
01:47:50,400 --> 01:47:53,640
I can't believe it. I can't believe it!
1811
01:47:54,240 --> 01:47:57,200
-Cal!
-Put me down.
1812
01:47:57,280 --> 01:47:58,960
I'm proud of you!
1813
01:47:59,240 --> 01:48:02,720
Get up here, man.
No, you come up here.
1814
01:48:02,960 --> 01:48:04,240
You come up here.
1815
01:48:07,480 --> 01:48:09,920
-Cal Naughton! Cal Naughton.
-Oh, my God.
1816
01:48:10,160 --> 01:48:13,040
For this to happen....
Am I dead, man?
1817
01:48:13,280 --> 01:48:15,440
You won the Talladega 500,
all right?
1818
01:48:17,000 --> 01:48:18,440
I owe you an apology.
1819
01:48:19,000 --> 01:48:21,320
-Come on.
-Man, I'm sorry about Carley.
1820
01:48:21,560 --> 01:48:24,440
She walked straight up to me
and grabbed me in the crotch.
1821
01:48:24,680 --> 01:48:28,240
-It's like a tractor beam of hotness.
-I know.
1822
01:48:29,480 --> 01:48:31,360
Shake and Bake?
1823
01:48:32,800 --> 01:48:35,960
No. Never again.
1824
01:48:37,960 --> 01:48:42,200
You're right.
I was a total dick, man.
1825
01:48:42,440 --> 01:48:44,520
From now on...
1826
01:48:45,840 --> 01:48:47,960
...it's Magic Man...
1827
01:48:48,200 --> 01:48:49,640
...and EI Diablo.
1828
01:48:50,640 --> 01:48:52,280
What's "Diablo" mean?
1829
01:48:52,520 --> 01:48:53,760
It's like, you know....
1830
01:48:54,000 --> 01:48:56,240
It's like Spanish for,
like, a fighting chicken.
1831
01:48:56,280 --> 01:48:57,760
-That's awesome.
-I know.
1832
01:48:58,000 --> 01:49:01,080
-With the claws.
-With the claws and the beak.
1833
01:49:01,360 --> 01:49:02,640
Where did you think of that?
1834
01:49:02,880 --> 01:49:04,400
You just-- Sometimes things click.
1835
01:49:05,160 --> 01:49:07,480
-I love you, bro.
-I love you too.
1836
01:49:09,160 --> 01:49:13,000
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, I can't believe it!
1837
01:49:13,840 --> 01:49:17,280
Excuse me, guys. Nice job.
1838
01:49:17,320 --> 01:49:18,760
Hey, Ricky.
1839
01:49:19,360 --> 01:49:20,520
Hey, Carley.
1840
01:49:20,760 --> 01:49:24,400
I've decided I can love you again.
You're a winner.
1841
01:49:24,960 --> 01:49:27,320
-Yeah, I don't think so.
-Really?
1842
01:49:27,360 --> 01:49:32,360
Are you prepared to walk away
from these pearIs...
1843
01:49:33,680 --> 01:49:34,960
...of delight?
1844
01:49:39,360 --> 01:49:43,120
Well.... Yeah, this is tough.
How would it work?
1845
01:49:43,360 --> 01:49:45,040
-Would Cal move out?
-Yep, gone.
1846
01:49:45,280 --> 01:49:47,200
Kids move back in?
1847
01:49:47,440 --> 01:49:50,560
-Can I just have a little refresher?
-Of course, baby.
1848
01:49:52,240 --> 01:49:54,200
This is why you fell in love,
don't forget.
1849
01:49:54,240 --> 01:49:56,560
Yeah, I'm in.
I'm moving in right now.
1850
01:49:56,800 --> 01:49:58,680
I'll drive 100 miles an hour
to your house.
1851
01:49:58,920 --> 01:50:00,600
-Our house. Our house.
-Our house, yeah.
1852
01:50:00,840 --> 01:50:03,160
No, I'm not. Come on.
It's gonna be awkward.
1853
01:50:03,200 --> 01:50:04,880
-Hey, baby.
-Hey.
1854
01:50:07,120 --> 01:50:08,760
Wait a minute.
1855
01:50:09,120 --> 01:50:12,320
You are ready to walk away...
1856
01:50:12,360 --> 01:50:16,120
...from FHM magazine's
number seven hottest ass...
1857
01:50:16,360 --> 01:50:20,120
...for the girI who forgets
to get your dry cleaning?
1858
01:50:20,360 --> 01:50:21,680
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
1859
01:50:22,080 --> 01:50:24,640
-Yeah.
-Good luck, weirdoes.
1860
01:50:24,880 --> 01:50:26,600
-Carley, come back here.
-Yes, Susie Q?
1861
01:50:26,840 --> 01:50:29,800
There's something I've wanted
to tell you for a really long time.
1862
01:50:31,120 --> 01:50:34,320
Thank you. Maybe one together?
1863
01:50:35,240 --> 01:50:38,200
-Susie Q, are those real?
-Yeah.
1864
01:50:38,440 --> 01:50:41,280
Well, girI, you got some game.
1865
01:50:43,240 --> 01:50:45,160
-We'll see you on down the road.
-Yeah.
1866
01:50:45,200 --> 01:50:47,200
-You seen Cal?
-He's somewhere around here.
1867
01:50:47,240 --> 01:50:50,280
Hey, Cal! Baby, I'm coming.
Thanks, baby.
1868
01:50:51,280 --> 01:50:54,000
-Maybe one more?
-Oh, boys.
1869
01:50:54,240 --> 01:50:55,640
-She's crazy.
-Oh, thank you.
1870
01:50:56,040 --> 01:50:57,440
-You did good.
-Thanks, Mama.
1871
01:50:57,680 --> 01:50:59,200
He's amazing.
1872
01:50:59,240 --> 01:51:01,320
That was one heck of a day,
I gotta say.
1873
01:51:01,560 --> 01:51:04,320
That's some nice driving there,
cowboy.
1874
01:51:04,560 --> 01:51:07,280
-Hey, Daddy.
-Well, hello, Reese.
1875
01:51:07,520 --> 01:51:12,160
Well, if it isn't our old
mangy, transient grandfather.
1876
01:51:12,520 --> 01:51:15,320
Well said, grandson.
Take that as a compliment.
1877
01:51:15,400 --> 01:51:18,520
Hey, Ricky,
let me ask you a question.
1878
01:51:21,520 --> 01:51:23,280
Who did you win that race for?
1879
01:51:23,360 --> 01:51:25,520
Well, I sure as hell didn't
win it for you.
1880
01:51:26,160 --> 01:51:27,600
I like hearing that.
1881
01:51:28,680 --> 01:51:31,280
I guess if I really gotta think about it...
1882
01:51:31,720 --> 01:51:34,320
...I just went out there and drove.
1883
01:51:34,560 --> 01:51:36,760
And knew that no matter
what happened...
1884
01:51:37,360 --> 01:51:42,960
...my boys, my mama,
and my lady would love me.
1885
01:51:44,320 --> 01:51:47,320
Hi, I'm his lady, I'm Susan.
1886
01:51:47,360 --> 01:51:50,200
I painted the car, I....
We had sex.
1887
01:51:50,280 --> 01:51:52,200
-Is that right?
-Yeah.
1888
01:51:52,440 --> 01:51:54,400
Well, I wish I could've
been there for that.
1889
01:51:54,640 --> 01:51:57,160
Son, I'm proud of you.
1890
01:51:58,560 --> 01:52:03,080
Yep. Yeah, I think....
I guess things are...
1891
01:52:04,240 --> 01:52:06,200
...just pretty much perfect right now.
1892
01:52:08,320 --> 01:52:10,280
It's making me a little itchy.
1893
01:52:12,120 --> 01:52:15,240
Well, what do you say
we get thrown out of an Applebee's?
1894
01:52:15,480 --> 01:52:17,920
-That sound like a good idea?
-You read my mind, son.
1895
01:52:18,160 --> 01:52:20,560
-You can cuss at Applebee's.
-Everybody pile in.
1896
01:52:20,840 --> 01:52:22,560
How does one get thrown out
of Applebee's?
1897
01:52:22,840 --> 01:52:25,240
-You're about to find out.
-Okay.
1898
01:52:25,520 --> 01:52:27,440
Watch, the doors actually open.
1899
01:52:58,840 --> 01:53:01,240
-Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby.
-And I'm Cal Naughton Jr.
1900
01:53:01,520 --> 01:53:04,840
We just want to take a moment to talk
to you about snow blindness in cats.
1901
01:53:05,080 --> 01:53:07,200
It's affecting more and more cats
every year.
1902
01:53:07,440 --> 01:53:10,120
And it scares the living shit out of us.
1903
01:53:11,280 --> 01:53:14,200
Ninety-eight percent of us will die
at some point in our lives.
1904
01:53:14,240 --> 01:53:17,280
The darkness is creeping towards you,
whether you know it or not.
1905
01:53:17,320 --> 01:53:19,040
A little planning can go a long way.
1906
01:53:19,280 --> 01:53:21,240
Listen, leaving
your big old corpse behind...
1907
01:53:21,280 --> 01:53:23,360
...for your loved ones to deal with
ain't cool.
1908
01:53:23,600 --> 01:53:26,080
That's why you should call
McCreedy Funeral Service.
1909
01:53:26,320 --> 01:53:30,080
McCreedy's.
They'll find the hole and build the box.
1910
01:53:30,360 --> 01:53:33,640
Bodies that look so good,
you're gonna wanna talk to it.
1911
01:53:37,280 --> 01:53:39,400
We like to have a lot of laughs
on the racetrack...
1912
01:53:39,640 --> 01:53:41,960
...but today we wanna talk
about something serious:
1913
01:53:42,200 --> 01:53:46,200
Packs of stray dogs that control
most of the major cities.
1914
01:53:48,360 --> 01:53:52,360
That's packs of wild, vicious dogs
that are controlling most of....
1915
01:53:52,400 --> 01:53:53,360
Sorry.
1916
01:53:54,000 --> 01:53:57,000
I like to picture Jesus
like a mischievous badger.
1917
01:53:57,320 --> 01:53:59,320
Like a muscular trapeze artist.
1918
01:53:59,480 --> 01:54:02,880
Like a shapeshifter or a changeling,
like that guy.
1919
01:54:03,120 --> 01:54:04,680
You ever hear of
that TV show Manimal?
1920
01:54:05,000 --> 01:54:08,000
I like to think of Jesus
as a figure skater...
1921
01:54:08,280 --> 01:54:09,880
...who wears, like, a white outfit...
1922
01:54:10,120 --> 01:54:13,480
...and he does interpretive ice dances
of my life's journey.
1923
01:54:13,760 --> 01:54:15,680
Like a dirty old bum.
1924
01:54:15,920 --> 01:54:19,240
He comes up to me, I'm about to sock
him one because he's a dirty old bum.
1925
01:54:19,280 --> 01:54:21,800
Then I said, "Wait a minute,
I better not sock this guy.
1926
01:54:22,040 --> 01:54:23,360
Something special about him."
1927
01:54:23,440 --> 01:54:25,760
-Yeah, and it turns out it's Jesus.
-Yeah.
1928
01:54:26,280 --> 01:54:28,240
One, two.... Oh, God.
1929
01:54:28,480 --> 01:54:31,920
-Not again! No go. No go!
-It's stuck. It's stuck.
1930
01:54:32,360 --> 01:54:34,040
We got two knives in my leg.
1931
01:54:34,320 --> 01:54:37,480
I know, but one is a safety knife.
One is a safety.
1932
01:54:39,840 --> 01:54:41,360
It's coming out.
It's coming out.
1933
01:54:41,400 --> 01:54:42,920
I'm choking on my own spit.
1934
01:54:43,160 --> 01:54:45,640
It hurts so bad
I'm choking on my own spit.
1935
01:54:45,960 --> 01:54:48,200
Good night, guys.
I'm losing a lot of blood.
1936
01:54:48,440 --> 01:54:50,200
-Just relax, man.
-Good night.
1937
01:54:50,440 --> 01:54:53,080
Ricky! Wake--
1938
01:54:54,680 --> 01:54:59,720
Sometimes, when it's late at night,
I dress up like Donna Summers.
1939
01:54:59,960 --> 01:55:04,520
You know, I put on the skirt
and the four-inch heels, man.
1940
01:55:04,800 --> 01:55:06,200
I love it.
1941
01:55:15,880 --> 01:55:17,720
Sorry. Sorry.
1942
01:55:19,320 --> 01:55:22,560
I would be honored if you would
let me sign your cast.
1943
01:55:22,800 --> 01:55:25,240
And I would be honored
if you'd sign my balls.
1944
01:55:25,480 --> 01:55:28,040
-Oh, baby, that is a good one.
-Hey, what are you doing?
1945
02:00:45,360 --> 02:00:48,840
"Don't touch a one of them.
They're mine."
1946
02:00:51,360 --> 02:00:54,320
So, what do you think
that story was about?
1947
02:00:54,560 --> 02:00:57,320
Doesn't the bear symbolize
the old South...
1948
02:00:57,560 --> 02:01:01,680
...and the new dog, the encroaching
industrialization of the North?
1949
02:01:01,920 --> 02:01:06,800
Duh. But the question is, should
the reader feel relief or sadness...
1950
02:01:07,040 --> 02:01:08,560
...at the passing of the old South?
1951
02:01:08,800 --> 02:01:10,360
Well, how about both?
1952
02:01:10,600 --> 02:01:13,600
Oh, I get it. Moral ambiguity.
1953
02:01:13,880 --> 02:01:18,280
The hallmark of all early
20th-century American fiction.
1954
02:01:18,320 --> 02:01:21,360
-Great analysis, Walker.
-Thank you.
161486
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