Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,800
This programme contains very strong
language and adult humour.
2
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,440
It's the very finest
hand-stitched Italian cloth.
3
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,240
Why thank you, Jeeves.
4
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:14,120
You will look stunning
going down the aisle.
5
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,000
It really is top end.
Don't worry about the price.
6
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,000
You know, it's not every day
you get to give your boy away.
7
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,200
Is it not more traditional
to give the bride away?
8
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,880
I mean given away
in the broad sense.
9
00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:27,600
Well, I've been trying to
give him away for years,
10
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:31,640
but some fucker always
brought his wonky ass back.
11
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,000
Ow! Why is there so many buttons?
12
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,440
Fuck!
13
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,680
I mean, I never thought
I'd see this day.
14
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,120
I never thought
he'd get through kindergarten.
15
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:42,080
He didn't have a college fund.
16
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,880
I mean, who's going to bet
on that long shot?
17
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,280
Think I got it...no.
18
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,600
Do you think I should be helping?
Ow!
19
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:58,480
I like it, but I think this one's
got a rip in it.
20
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:03,120
# I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby
21
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:09,560
# Listen to Iron Maiden, baby,
with me... #
22
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:18,360
This is so fascinating. It says,
"The greatest way to be an ally
23
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,600
"to the disabled community
is simply to listen."
24
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:24,160
Sure. I've been telling you
to shut the fuck up for years.
25
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,360
Oh, there's a new
disability channel.
26
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:29,280
What the fuck? Why would disabled
people need their own channel?
27
00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,720
It's not just for disabled people.
It's for everyone.
28
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:33,520
There's a whole audience of people
29
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,640
who want to educate themselves
about disability.
30
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,200
We call ourselves "disabledophiles".
Oh! Oh!
31
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,800
Here it is, channel 1542.
32
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:45,120
What? Even the porn channels
stop at 1000!
33
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,200
Shh.
34
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,000
My new project is Unbeaten.
35
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,800
It tells the true story of
Serge de La Croix
36
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:55,440
who, aged 24, developed
the degenerative condition
37
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,200
Veltmann Kreiger Syndrome,
38
00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,520
causing profound
physical disability,
39
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,840
yet still went on to be France's
greatest ever jazz drummer.
40
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,840
Incredible.
41
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,160
Oi, arsewipe.
Put the video games back on.
42
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,920
There's been some protests
over casting an able-bodied actor
43
00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:15,080
as De La Croix - James Norton,
no less.
44
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,640
Oh, my God,
he's my favourite Spider-Man.
45
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,680
I know, but we have been
listening to the community,
46
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,200
which is why it's so important to us
47
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:28,080
to feature on screen as many
disabled actors as we can.
48
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,160
We have an open casting
in South London today.
49
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:36,320
He's Spider-Man.
50
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:37,800
MOBILE RINGS
51
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,080
Oh, and...
52
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,440
Hey, Mum, guess what?
53
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,880
The doctor called and he said
he accidentally threw away my baby
54
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,600
and gave me the medical waste?
55
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,000
Oh.
56
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,920
We're going to be in a movie.
57
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:56,760
Did I ever tell you about
the time I was in a film?
58
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,680
Please stop talking about the porno.
59
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,400
I could have done a lot more porno
back then.
60
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,280
You know, I had statement titties.
61
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,800
I don't know why I breast-fed you
till you were seven years old.
62
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:12,800
Now look at them.
One still has a bite mark.
63
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:13,880
OK. Bye, Mum.
64
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,640
Idris, you've got a real problem
with women, haven't you?
65
00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:23,360
To... To be fair, that was
my best friend's mum's bosoms.
66
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,160
Bosoms?! Oh.
67
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,320
LAUGHS: You are such a pussy.
68
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,160
Which is lucky, because you
are never going to see one.
69
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:39,720
# What's the ugliest part
of your body?... #
70
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,280
Hiya.
71
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,240
If you're here to be an extra
on Unbeaten,
72
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,120
if you could just
form an orderly queue here,
73
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,000
with carers where applicable.
74
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,240
And if you're here
for the angry protest,
75
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,120
you're actually in the wrong spot -
it's just over there.
76
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,280
THEY CHANT: Disabled but able!
77
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,560
Yes, Idris, a pretty lady.
78
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,800
Maybe just listening face today.
79
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,600
Let me do the talking. Capisce?
80
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,520
Yeah. Um, hiya.
81
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,320
What's your disability?
Why do you need to know that?
82
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,560
Oh, it's just to decide which scene.
83
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:18,040
I'm quadriplegic and have violent
anger management issues.
84
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,240
OK.
85
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,920
I'm joking, I'm not quadriplegic.
86
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,320
Er, OK.
87
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,600
What's your name, sorry?
Fuck you.
88
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:26,920
That's my name.
89
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,280
Well, my name's Lily.
90
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:30,880
But Fuck You's my Insta handle.
91
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:35,400
I'm livestreaming this to highlight
the obscenity of casting
92
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,920
a non-disabled actor
to play a disabled hero
93
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:43,040
whilst trying to placate
the rest of us with this PR shite.
94
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,160
Look, I'm just the third AD,
it's really not my decision.
95
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,560
You're right.
96
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,840
I get that, babe.
97
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:52,640
I'll go and pick on someone else.
98
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,120
Yeah.
99
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,160
Like these sad sacks,
100
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,600
lending credibility
to this charade.
101
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,040
Don't talk about Ruth that way.
102
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:02,920
Do you want to borrow my wheelchair,
103
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,440
help you out when you're sucking
able-bodied cock?
104
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:11,400
Yeah, that would help so much more
than the kneepads I brought.
105
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,040
Thank you.
106
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,400
Don't let him actually
suck any cock.
107
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:19,360
The insurance won't cover the
horrific injuries it would cause.
108
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,880
I've got enough here.
109
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,360
She's not wrong.
110
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,080
You should see what I did
to my mum's nipple.
111
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,760
Gross.
112
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,920
No, I meant, like, as a baby.
113
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,400
Not, like, now.
114
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,600
Oh, Goddamn!
115
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,560
Right. Hiya.
116
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:38,200
Ruth, Tim and Idris. OK.
117
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,080
Oh, I've got Tim and Idris,
but not Ruth.
118
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,680
I'm the carer.
It says here Idris is the carer.
119
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,160
Come here.
120
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:53,520
See, I'm the carer of both of those
inspirational young men.
121
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,440
We just let Idris
make the phone call sometimes
122
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,720
because he's...
he's very, very special.
123
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,280
Hey, guys, quick, look,
I've made a friend. Hello, mate.
124
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,920
Oh, good job, buddy.
125
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,520
You see? Yeah, yeah. I see.
What an absolute sweetheart.
126
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,280
What are their conditions?
127
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:14,960
Cerebral palsy and...
128
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,240
..repulsivist vaginilitis.
129
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,400
Oh, what the hell.
You have a great day.
130
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,800
Grab a wheelchair.
131
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,840
You can go in the hospital scenes.
132
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:30,600
Just head over to
the extras' green room.
133
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:33,200
I like movies.
134
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,440
They're...pretty.
135
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:45,920
Maybe Idris would like
to spend some time
136
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:49,200
with the pretty lady, huh?
137
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,760
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. OK.
138
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,560
Yay!
139
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,160
Eeee!
140
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,920
We're talking to the protesters.
141
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,640
They're on the news?!
142
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,280
They're calling us gerbils?
143
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,440
Oh, Goebbels.
144
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,680
God, don't they understand how
complicated making this film is?
145
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,720
I can't just cast a disabled lead.
146
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,760
In half the film, he's able-bodied.
147
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,680
There's an eight-minute
one-take tracking shot
148
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,120
of him cycling with
his brother on his back
149
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,360
through the war-torn
Antwerp ghetto.
150
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,040
No, no, no, no.
I'll try and fix it.
151
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,280
Studio doesn't need to pull
the funding.
152
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:40,400
Jack.
153
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,480
Jack, can I just
get your opinion on something?
154
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:43,880
Um...
155
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,360
So which do you think is
the more realistic?
156
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:50,440
Um... Mm, mm, mm...
157
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:52,720
..or...
158
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:56,160
Argh! Argh! Argh!
159
00:07:56,160 --> 00:08:00,040
Um, I was...I was thinking,
you know...
160
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,960
Ah, ah-ah, ah.
161
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,840
Yeah.
162
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,120
Yeah. No, I had thought about that.
Just, I'm...
163
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,760
I'm worried it will be
considered offensive.
164
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,360
Well, that... Oh, excuse me.
165
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,280
Hey. Can I ask you a quick question?
Spider-Man.
166
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,880
Which do you think is more accurate,
167
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:22,280
bearing in mind the character has
Veltmann Kreiger Syndrome, OK?
168
00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:25,480
OK, so, first of all... Argh!
169
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,640
Argh! Argh! Or...
170
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,640
Ah! Ah! Ah!
171
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,000
Hmm.
172
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,280
Show me again.
173
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:42,720
Um, so the first one is...
174
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,760
Argh! Argh!
175
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,640
Or, um...
176
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:52,240
BOTH: Ah-ha, ah, ah.
177
00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,640
What about...
178
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:04,280
..huh-huh, huh, huh, da-muh.
179
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:05,920
Prrrth.
180
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,080
I... I had never thought about that.
181
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,720
You see, that is why
you have to research a part.
182
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,120
Thank you, mate.
183
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,760
James. Nice to meet you.
184
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:18,320
Tim. Do the Spider-Man thing.
185
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:19,360
Huh?
186
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,160
OK, thanks. Great job. Just great.
187
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,720
Nice to meet you, Jim.
Bye, Spidey!
188
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:28,200
What is this Spider-Man shite?
189
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,840
Spider-Man!
190
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,320
This is Elizabeth and Beth,
191
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,960
our hair and make-up department.
192
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,800
This is Idris, everyone.
193
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,240
Idris wants to make movies,
don't you?
194
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,600
Yeah. They're cool.
195
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:51,600
I'm doing listening today.
196
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,080
And I think boys who listen
deserve ice cream.
197
00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:56,640
What do you reckon?
198
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,960
I like your hair.
199
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,560
It's, um... It's blue.
200
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,240
Aww.
201
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,760
Oh, I'll go and get you
that ice cream, shall I?
202
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,040
Yeah. Yeah? Sounds good.
203
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,520
Ruth... Hmm?
204
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,520
I don't think I like it in here.
205
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,880
Are we in Stranger Things?
206
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,040
Is this the Upside Down?
207
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,000
Does anyone need anything?
208
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,480
OK, no worries.
209
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,160
Prick.
210
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,880
Wheeeee! Look, sparkly.
211
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,760
Oh, wow, Idris, they look great.
212
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,200
Look, I think these lasses
are a little bit busy,
213
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,280
so shall we go and find
some of the animals? Yeah. Sounds...
214
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:09,160
Yeah? Sounds good. Here you go.
Thank you. Come on, then.
215
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:18,240
Well, I would say
216
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:22,600
this is Dante's
sixth circle of hell.
217
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,360
But I don't know who Dante is.
218
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:26,720
Oh.
219
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,800
Oh, was he a rapper?
220
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,520
This is the forever place.
No, it's not.
221
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,720
Look, we need to escape.
222
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,600
We all need to escape.
223
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:39,800
Come on, people,
rise up! To freedom!
224
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:43,800
And listen, I know where they're
keeping the sandwiches and shit.
225
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,080
ALL: Ooh!
Yes. Come on, then.
226
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,240
Let's go, come on!
227
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,280
Guys. it's not your scene yet.
Look, get back, guys, get back.
228
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,040
So, because lots of the film
is set on a farm,
229
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,360
we have lots of animals, like pigs.
230
00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,360
Of course, the pigs don't have any
lines, because that would be silly.
231
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,400
Oink. Yeah, oink!
232
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,560
Moo.
233
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,360
Yeah. Hey, animals make lots of
different noises, don't they?
234
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,640
I've lost control of the extras!
235
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,920
They're heading for
the refreshment table.
236
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:22,400
MUSIC: White Riot
by The Clash
237
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,240
Oh, Tim. Tim, Tim.
238
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,440
I had a couple of questions
about authenticity.
239
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,400
Not now, Spidey, we're rebelling.
240
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,040
Oh, we can walk and talk.
I can't!
241
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,960
I really, really want to dig deep
into this character, you know?
242
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:42,000
Find his motivations,
his desires, dreams.
243
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,000
What do you dream about, Tim?
244
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,680
Eh, just like stupid shit.
245
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,600
What the fuck! Where have
all these fucking extras come from!
246
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,640
Get them away from the sandwiches!
247
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,120
Who let all these extras escape?
248
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,560
It was him, he let them out.
249
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,760
I've got enough fucking problems
without this.
250
00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,400
Get off my fucking set.
251
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,440
Save me, Spider-Man!
252
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,720
I think he's talking to you.
253
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,280
What?
254
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:12,120
MEGAPHONE: More disabled actors!
More disabled actors!
255
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,520
Fuck.
256
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,240
Oh, unbelievable.
257
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,440
This is how you treat....
258
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:20,480
Hang on... You gave him
a wheelchair?
259
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,000
Did he try and suck your cock?
260
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,200
No. They're troublemakers.
261
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,480
Hmm.
262
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,600
Do you know who else was called
a troublemaker?
263
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,560
Martin Luther King.
264
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:33,400
Yeah, but I did cause
a lot of trouble.
265
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:37,280
We're employing hundreds of disabled
people who don't cause trouble.
266
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:40,000
Here, do you know they keep them
in a dungeon?
267
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,640
Not because they're disabled!
268
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,520
It's how we treat all extras.
Jack, that is terrible.
269
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,800
I have a massive trailer to myself.
270
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,080
Disgraceful!
271
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,640
At the very least,
you should show your commitment
272
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:56,440
to the better treatment
of disabled actors! Yeah!
273
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:59,720
by making a donation
to the Disabled Actors Alliance.
274
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,200
Yeah. Would that make you go away?
275
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,640
You what? Who the fuck
is he talking to?
276
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,160
Hang on. Jack.
277
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:09,320
Oh, look who it is -
the big able-bodied star
278
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:15,240
who's literally stealing the
opportunity from a disabled actor.
279
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,160
There's a word for people like you.
280
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,960
What - disabled fish?
281
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,680
THEY LAUGH
Cunts.
282
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,320
Hold on. I'm... I'm an ally.
283
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,560
I'm here to learn.
284
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:30,160
We're still filming the scenes
where Serge is physically normal.
285
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,040
Normal?!
286
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,360
I just meant...
287
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:36,960
You know what I meant.
288
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,480
Tim can vouch for me.
289
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,280
He's been my mentor,
my...my teacher.
290
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,480
He's been fantastic helping me
with the physicality.
291
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,520
Oh, so, not only are you stealing
292
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:50,800
an opportunity from this
inspiring disabled actor,
293
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:54,960
but you're appropriating
his talents for your own gain.
294
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,960
Absolute wanker.
295
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,880
Jack, this is a PR shambles, mate.
296
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,800
OK? We can't afford
the bad publicity.
297
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,840
Sort this out, OK? Enough.
298
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,160
Unbelievable.
299
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:06,720
OK.
300
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,920
The studio execs want to try
recasting James
301
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:14,360
as the Ugandan drum teacher Nabil,
302
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:18,160
and the part of Serge de la Croix
with someone actually disabled.
303
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:22,560
Like "the guy from the livestream",
which I guess is you.
304
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,400
What? What?!
305
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,440
Don't worry. It's a PR stunt,
it will blow over.
306
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,640
It's a truly terrible idea.
307
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,760
You think that will placate us?
308
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,560
Well, that is sort of what
you've been after.
309
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:39,160
I guess I was just after a less
repugnant-looking poster boy.
310
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,840
Hey, not cool.
311
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,400
I make love to the camera.
312
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:46,960
Yeah.
313
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,320
How drunk did you have to
get the camera?
314
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,720
OK, so we're shooting the scene
where Serge de la Croix is 22
315
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,320
and chasing hens back on the farm.
316
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,160
It's before he develops
Veltmann Kreiger Syndrome
317
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,240
so he's able-bodied.
318
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,920
When the execs are here,
they'll realise it doesn't work
319
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,480
and we'll be back to the way it was.
Is that OK with you, James?
320
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,560
Hold on. So we're OK to cast
an able-bodied actor as disabled
321
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,080
but not a disabled actor
as able-bodied?
322
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,280
What does that say about us, Jack?
323
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:34,200
Oh, no, my hand!
324
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:40,040
Oh, no, my toes are tingling!
325
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,280
I hope I'm not contracting
a syndrome.
326
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,080
OK. Cut.
327
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,760
Excellent.
328
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,160
It just isn't working.
329
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:56,600
Hey, Tim, Tim, you've gone viral.
330
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,760
#Empowerment,
#FuckJamesNorton.
331
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,400
Everyone's talking about the film.
332
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,840
Huh?
333
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,400
PHONE VIBRATES
334
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,680
Jack, the media are lapping this up.
335
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,240
Especially the thing about James
splitting his salary.
336
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,680
What? I never agreed to that.
We agreed to it for you, James.
337
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,120
It's a positive move.
338
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:18,600
I spent six years
researching this film.
339
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,520
I promised Serge's kids it would be
a love letter to their father.
340
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,280
What's the problem, Jack?
341
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,720
This Tim guy can't do it.
342
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,720
What do you mean, he can't do it?
343
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,880
Play someone with
Veltmann Kreiger syndrome.
344
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:31,040
Well, what's he got?
345
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,440
Cerebral palsy.
346
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,400
Well, it's the same thing, isn't it?
They're all disabled.
347
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,760
Look, we can signal
our commitment to diversity,
348
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,520
and the optics are fucking amazing.
349
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,600
Glad we're on the same page, Jack.
Good man.
350
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,080
Yeah. Come on.
We can make this work.
351
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,400
What are you specifically
worried about?
352
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,840
With Veltmann Kreiger Syndrome, you
maintain some fine motor control.
353
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,760
That's why he could be
France's greatest jazz drummer.
354
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,760
What if we scrap the whole
Veltmann Kreiger syndrome thing?
355
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,240
Let's just say Serge de la Croix
has cerebral palsy.
356
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,840
Yeah, and to be honest, I'm not
that comfortable playing a Ugandan.
357
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,680
We could make me Canadian.
358
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,520
But the integrity!
359
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,920
Yeah, we only ever say
it's based on a true story.
360
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,480
CALL ENDS
"Based".
361
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,080
Come on, Jack.
362
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,520
Where's the script?
We can make tweaks.
363
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,600
See? I told you we'd find
some of the animals.
364
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,640
Yeah.
365
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,080
I like their little noses. Mmm.
366
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:45,880
I like your nose.
367
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,760
Oh, you are just a sweetheart.
368
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:49,920
I could eat you up.
369
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,320
Would you? Yeah.
370
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,640
Ra-ra-ra-ra-ra.
371
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,000
I like you, too. Hmm.
372
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,000
No!
373
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,800
God, I'm... Bad boy. I'm so sorry.
That is a no-no.
374
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,120
As... I just thought.
375
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:05,440
I... I didn't...
376
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:10,480
I know we all sometimes
have...urges,
377
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:11,920
but we just need to make sure
378
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,280
that we have the other person's
permission.
379
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,640
Oh. Of course.
380
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,360
Kissing is fun,
but it's inappropriate.
381
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:21,040
Do you know what that means?
Yeah.
382
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,440
Hmm.
383
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,360
Well, this is shit.
384
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,400
It's so boring!
385
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,200
Look on page one.
386
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,960
Mother's on her deathbed.
387
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,640
Family's crying.
388
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,440
Yada, yada, yada.
389
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:46,080
She tells her eldest son
to take care of her family.
390
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,520
Dumb.
391
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,320
But that is verbatim
what she said in reality.
392
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:54,440
But the son should say,
"No way in hell!"
393
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,520
Why? It's punchier.
394
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,400
Certainly grabs the attention.
Yeah, but it's not true.
395
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,960
Yes, but if Tim,
as a person of disability,
396
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,760
feels its truth,
then is that not true enough?
397
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,120
No, it's a different story.
OK.
398
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:11,880
What if the mum gets a shotgun
and she's like,
399
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:16,400
"Hey, I brought you into this world
and I can take you out!"
400
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:20,160
Kapum! "Oh, not if I
take you out first!"
401
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:27,040
It needs more gunfights
just generally.
402
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:31,600
And then, on his way out,
he draws out a stick of dynamite
403
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,280
and blows up the house with them.
404
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,320
Pow.
405
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:39,200
Too much?
No, not if it feels real to Tim.
406
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,160
Nobody is blowing up the hospital!
407
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,720
Well, hold on.
It could be a metaphor
408
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,520
for the end of childhood innocence.
409
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,280
It really wakes the audience up.
410
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,440
And to be honest, now I'm
rereading it through Tim's eyes,
411
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,600
I'm not really sure what's keeping
anyone watching in the first act.
412
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:58,040
The powerfully emotional
character arc.
413
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,480
All right, Shakespeare.
414
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:04,800
No! No-one is changing
a fucking word of my masterpiece.
415
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,760
We've wasted an hour on this shit.
416
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,520
Let's shoot something,
for fuck's sake!
417
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,280
Pow-pow. Pow-pow.
418
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,400
Tch-tch, pow.
419
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:20,760
Despite everything, despite the hand
that life has dealt me,
420
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:27,920
all I have ever wanted to be
is France's greatest jazz drummer.
421
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,480
HE BASHES THE DRUMS
422
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,520
Cut!
423
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,160
Maybe we should just forget
the whole jazz drumming thing.
424
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,880
No! We'll fix it with CGI.
Can we...?
425
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,320
Can we just do it
in a French accent,
426
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:54,360
just to try and preserve
a scintilla of authenticity?
427
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:57,880
Ohn-hon-hon! Despite the...
428
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,920
..what the world....
No-no-no, no, no, no, no.
429
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,920
Let's... Let's just move on.
430
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,280
Let's just move on.
431
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,960
Hey, Webslinger.
Hold on.
432
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:13,600
Oh, after this is done,
can you, me and Zendaya hang out?
433
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,080
Tim, um....
434
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:16,680
I hate to say this, mate, I'm...
435
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,040
I'm not actually in Spider-Man.
436
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,040
What?
437
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,200
Sorry.
438
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,480
Hey, Ruth. Yeah?
439
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,280
I'm bored.
440
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,760
And you know what James Norton
just told me? What?
441
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:38,120
He wasn't even in Spider-Man. Ugh!
442
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,720
Shall we go and see
if that beguiling
443
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,640
but angry woman is still outside?
444
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,520
Yeah, whatever you want, mate.
Come on.
445
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,920
Used to be a working-class accent
opened doors in this industry.
446
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:52,600
Now, look at us -
cis white able-bodied men.
447
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:58,120
The biggest disability of all
these days.
448
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:05,120
Oi, Fucknuggets, it's time to go.
I'm not sure that's appropriate.
449
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,720
He's responded so well
to soft and gentle words today.
450
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,200
What?
451
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,200
It's cruelty like that
that makes me so angry.
452
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,960
You should be ashamed.
453
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,000
We should show nothing but kindness
to those with learning difficulties.
454
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,480
He doesn't have
learning difficulties.
455
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,200
But...
456
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,280
So...
457
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,360
..doesn't he? No!
458
00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,640
No, he was just pretending
that he did.
459
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,240
And he made me go along with it
460
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,240
so that he would get to meet
a hot girl.
461
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,360
No, honestly,
he used to work in recruitment.
462
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:42,200
Yeah, I used to work in recruitment.
463
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:43,480
Mm-mm.
464
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,120
Pervert!
465
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:46,960
Argh! What?
466
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,160
Come on, pervert.
467
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,080
That sore?
468
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,120
SHE LAUGHS
469
00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:00,800
Ruth. What?
470
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,720
Oh.
471
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,120
Hey, were you waiting for me?
472
00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:06,640
Fuck me.
473
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:08,560
You really are brain-damaged.
474
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:12,080
Well, I guess you can go find
somebody else
475
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,880
to be morally superior to very soon.
476
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,080
Don't worry. There's a film about
a beat-boxer
477
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,720
with Down's Syndrome
shooting next week,
478
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,160
starring one of The Inbetweeners.
479
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:24,760
I'm not fucking beaten yet.
480
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,600
"I'm not beaten yet."
481
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,000
She is a pain in my arse.
482
00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:37,760
EXPERT DRUMMING
483
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,600
Do you think I'll win a Bafta?
484
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,400
# Spider-Man, Spider-Man
485
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,920
# Does whatever a spider can
486
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,120
# Spins a web, any size
487
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:02,440
# Catches thieves just like flies
488
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:06,840
# Look out
Here comes the Spider-Man
489
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,840
# Likely to bring his back-up
490
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,400
# Whenever there's a hang-up
491
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,000
# You'll find the Spider... #
492
00:25:17,050 --> 00:25:21,600
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35906
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese